#It will be short this is largely a cut because I put on some fat over the holidays and wasn’t really working out

[crownedpatriot11]

Time to cut

[theemporium]

♥️47 w/ Nico Hischier… please and thank you

this is inspired by the return of the moustache but fuelled by my brain being fried from uni so the smut is mediocre at best🤠thank you for requesting!

47. "You heard me. I want you to sit on my face."

.

To be perfectly candid, you were less than subtle about admiring your boyfriend’s new look for the off-season.

But, as his girlfriend, it was your right to helplessly ogle your boyfriend after he decided to shave the rest of his beard short and leave his moustache to be accompanied by some stubble. Add in the fact he had still put off cutting his hair—thank every fucking superior being for that one—and had a new glow about him since the stress of the hockey season was finally off his shoulders, it was impossible not to stare. 

He was just so pretty and he was all yours. And, yeah, you really fucking missed staring at Nico’s face with no practices or games or meetings getting in your way. 

It just never occurred to you that Nico would ever call you out on the blatant way you would ogle him since he brought back the moustache, which is why his words completely caught you off guard.

“What?” 

Nico grinned at you, so fucking smug and sure of himself as he placed his hands on his hips like you were talking about the weather. “You heard me,” he said, his voice low and sweet and far too fucking melodic for you to really concentrate on his ego when he sounded like that. “I want you to sit on my face.” 

You blinked, standing in the doorway between your shared bedroom and the joined ensuite bathroom. You stared at him, your mind whirling with a million different thoughts but you couldn’t bring yourself to say a single word. 

“Been thinking about it all week,” he continued as he started to close the distance between you, his eyes glinting with an emotion that made your stomach twist in desire. “I’ve seen the way you’ve been looking, baby. Tell me you haven’t thought about it too.” 

“I—” You stuttered out, your face burning in response. Because truthfully, you had been thinking about it. But your thoughts had been based around Nico pinning your hips to the mattress, to settle between your legs and to let you feel the scratch of his beard across your sensitive inner thighs until you were left begging and panting and whining for more.

It never crossed your mind for you to be the one on top.

“Just want my pretty girl on top of me,” Nico hummed as he reached for you, his large hands engulfing the back of your head and it made your brain short circuit for a few moments. “Let me have a taste, hm?” 

“Nico,” you murmured, and the hesitancy was clear in your voice. “I don’t know if it’s a good idea—”

He frowned. “Why not?” 

“I–” You let out a noise before shrugging. “What if I squish you or—”

You barely had a chance to react to the snort he let out before his hands dropped from your head, reaching for your thighs and lifting you into his arms with an ease that didn’t feel human at all. You blinked, left speechless as Nico shamelessly grinned up at you, walking back towards the bed with you in his arms.

“I can handle it, baby,” he said, squeezing the fat of your thighs as he emphasised his point. “Now, be a good girl and sit on my face, hm? Wanna fucking drown in you.”

And you really couldn’t be blamed for being unable to say no to those pretty brown eyes staring up at you like he wanted to devour you. You could, however, be blamed for that naive voice in the back of your mind that told you that you’d be in control because you were on top.

It took all of five minutes for that belief to crumble the second Nico got his hands on you. 

“Fuck,” you let out a high-pitched whine, head tipped back and lips parted as you felt his lips wrap around your clit and suck, humming deeply as he did. 

His arms were locked around your thighs, keeping you in position with his hands pawing your ass and guiding your rocking hips. His hair was dishevelled and messy, spread across the pillow like some twisted angelic painting whilst those pretty brown eyes were now glued to you, watching as he licked and sucked and kissed every single noise out of you. 

His chin and lips were glistening with your release, that moustache fucking soaked and his tongue branded with the taste of you—and fuck, Nico truly believed he was in heaven. Because that was the only reasonable explanation for this: for the sight of you on top, your hips rocking and your soaked cunt at his mercy, your hands squeezing your tits and your mouth moaning his name. 

It was fucking heaven and it made him rock hard in the flimsy shorts he had put on earlier, probably seconds away from busting a load despite not even touching himself once. 

His only coherent thought was that he should have shaved earlier if this was what he could gain from it. 

“Fuck, Nico, baby,” you stuttered out, all breathy and panting as you reached one hand down to tangle in his hair, tugging lightly as he groaned against your cunt. “Shit, I-I can’t.”

“One more, schat,” he murmured, his warm breath fanned across your core and it made your legs twitch, and it made Nico smile against your cunt in response. “Please, baby, let me taste you. Let me taste my pretty girl.”

And you were fucking putty in his arms, letting yourself tip over the edge as you clung onto the headboard to keep yourself from keeling over. 

Yet, all he could think was that he definitely wasn’t getting rid of the moustache anytime soon.

.

[cocklessboy]

I see a lot of people saying that gender-affirming health care like top surgery for trans people like myself should be freely available (which is correct), but one of the reasons they often give is that top surgery is very safe and has a very low rate of complications compared to other surgeries. And I often see transphobes clutching their pearls over the few people who do have complications. What about them?! What if you're one of the unlucky ones?! Should we really let those transes risk it??!!!

Setting aside the fact that no one raises such concerns over other types of surgery, I'd like to use myself as an example for anyone who needs one.

In May of 2022 I had top surgery (double mastectomy). The surgery was done by a gynecological surgeon, not a plastic surgeon, because that way my insurance would cover it.

The surgeon did his job and removed the breast tissue, but he did not make it look pretty. I have dog-ears at both ends of both scars (extra bits of skin that hang off in a very unappealing fashion), my chest still looks unnaturally flat with no muscle or fat despite a lot of working out, and one of the stitches didn't heal properly and was left as an open wound through "secondary healing" for several months before it finally healed over into a very large scab (and eventually a very large scar). My nipples are uneven and irregular and look... well, just awful, really. Due to bad genetic luck, I wound up with keloid scars which, instead of getting smaller and lighter over time, have instead expanded, becoming thicker and darker. Worst of all, I now have chronic nerve pain in my chest. My GP thinks the surgeon must have hit a nerve during the procedure, and now I have random sharp pains all over my chest even now, nearly ten months later. The pain might improve with time, or it might not.

I basically had almost every possible complication one can have from this surgery short of infection or death. Some of the aesthetics might be fixable with more surgery (though plastic surgery will be expensive). Some are probably permanent. I might never feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public again. I might have to tattoo over the scars.

And pay attention to this next bit, because it's the most important part of this whole post: I do not regret the surgery. Even with all the complications and the ugly state of my chest and the pain. If someone said they could push a button and make it so that the surgery never happened and I'd have a perfect, unmarred chest with C-cup breasts again, I would tell them to take their button and fuck right off. Because even with basically the worst of all possible outcomes, that surgery was the best thing that ever happened to me.

I don't feel good about taking my shirt off in front of people now. I do think my chest is ugly. But it's a male chest now. When I put on a t-shirt, it rests flat against my chest. No one will ever mistake me for a woman again. I'll never have to wear a bra or binder ever again.

The dysphoria I felt from having breasts was so severe that a hideously scarred chest and chronic pain are vastly preferable. The euphoria I feel when I look in the mirror with a shirt on is something I never knew I was capable of feeling.

And it's my fucking body, and it's up to me what I do with it. If I wanted to tattoo myself from head to toe, or file my teeth into fangs, or have a doctor break my legs and surgically implant extensions to make me taller, that's my right because it's my body. The fact that all those things are regarded as basically acceptable (if a little weird), but I had to have a dehumanizing interview with an old cis psychiatrist who hates trans people and wants us all sterilized just to get a piece of paper giving me permission to have my tits removed, is fucking absurd.

Top surgery (of any kind) is generally very safe, and complications are rare. But even with the worst outcome, a trans person will basically never regret it.

And frankly, if a cis woman wants her tits cut off, or a cis man wants a pair of boobs to play with on his own chest, more power to them because literally who gives a fuck what people do to their own bodies? I saw a dude on TV when I was a kid who'd tattooed his whole body to look like a cat, filed his teeth into fangs, and had loads of plastic surgery to surgically implant whiskers and make his face look more feline. It was weird! But literally no one said that should be banned because he might regret it. It's his body to do whatever weird shit he wants with.

The next time someone clutches their pearls and kicks and screams about how you can't let someone permanently alter their body in a way they might regret, feel free to point to me and my complete and utter lack of regret.

(Or have a little fun with it, go hard in the other direction, and say you absolutely agree, which is why we should ban ALL non-emergency surgeries until the patient has been FULLY evaluated by three psychiatrists - along with tattoos and piercings. Oh, and ballet lessons for anyone under the age of 25, since ballet changes the structure of a child's body FOREVER.)

[zhonglicious]

pairing: bf!baji keisuke x fem!reader

wc: 1.3k

cw: implied chubby reader, university au, oral (f. receiving), hair pulling (m. receiving), fingering, mentions of overstimulation, manhandling, theyre a bit silly in this one lol, lmk if i forgot any!

i truly love how we as a community agree that baji keisuke loves eating pussy. like. you’re right you’re absolutely right.

he’s the type of guy to grumble at you when you’re studying for finals. in all honesty, he should be studying too. you’re in the same class, in the same course, about to take the same exam two weeks from now, but he just couldn’t care less at the moment.

“kei, just give me a bit, i’ll be done with the unit soon,” you address him, not even looking up from your table as you flip a page. “you’ve been sittin’ there for hours, i’m fuckin’ bored,” your brute of a boyfriend gripes, and you snort. “that’s because unlike some people, i don’t wait days before an exam to study.”

there’s an offended squawk behind you. “oi-“ he starts, and you cut him off with a laugh. “see, this is why you’re barely passing class. you can still study with me, you know. i’ll go over the material with you,” you hum, flipping to another page with one hand, scribbling down the words with the other.

you hear a huff and the sound of rustling fabric, followed by heavy footsteps before a large shadow blocks the light. oh keisuke, always so easy to tease. you look up, countering his grumpy frown with a radiant smile. you're ready to open your mouth to piss him off some more, only words never leave your mouth. instead, your body leaves the chair you're occupying, two strong arms hooked under your back and your knees.

he carries you like you weigh nothing, a testament to the physique he works hard to maintain. it always makes you swoon when he does this, because you know you're not exactly the lightest in the bunch, but baji makes you feel like you are. any time you complain, he raises an eyebrow and snorts, bobbing you up and down like he's testing out weights at the gym. "nah. s'not heavy at all," he grins at you, which is usually followed by you giggling and pressing a kiss to his jaw.

but not this time, because you have a fucking exam that is worth 30% of your grade, and you've barely even studied half of what you're supposed to.

“kei- keisuke-! put me down!” you yell, wriggling in his hold and punching his chest. he grunts as takes the hit, and you wail despairingly because he doesn't even budge. him being a human tank with strength incomparable to yours makes him immune to all your assaults. so onwards he marches, huffing as you squawk like a ruffled bird.

your back hits the mattress softly as baji's hands go to your thighs, pulling your legs apart and hooking them on his shoulders. “not waitin’ anymore,” he grumbles, tilting his head so he can press a kiss against your inner thigh. the light touch sends a jolt through your spine, but you try to ignore the flash of heat that sparks in your stomach. you will take a stand, and you will stand firm.

"will you listen to me?" you hiss, lightly smacking his head. "no," is the immediate answer, accompanied by an unimpressed stare as he turns back to his task. he kisses down your thigh, going down lower with every peck. "this can wait for some other time, you-!" you start, only to yelp as baji huffs impatiently, biting down on the fat of your thigh. it doesn't really hurt, but him unexpectedly sinking his fangs into you caught you off guard.

you can feel the atmosphere getting heavier, more charged as you two stare at each other, neither backing down. you glare him down, while he faces you with a challenge in his eyes. “keisuke. get off.” you huff, breaking the silence. “don’t wanna,” baji says, and now the hands holding your thighs are reaching up tug at your waistband, pulling your shorts off.

even as you protest, your panties go next, thrown haphazardly on the floor behind him. “keisuke-!” you gasp as he bites you again, a final warning for disobeying him. he’s not a very patient man, and he’s not a very nice one either. his gaze doesn’t leave yours as he licks a stripe up the bite, his hot tongue like fire on your skin. your breath hitches as you watch him, thinking he has no right to be that hot while acting like a fucking animal.

you know you’re already wet. your ears burn with how easily your body responds to his, already knowing the mess he's gonna find as he spreads your legs more. baji groans at the sight, glancing up at you again. for a few seconds, the grip on your thighs loosen, and he backs away, a silent invitation for you to push him away if you want to.

you stare at him, your heart pounding in your ears. with the stress of uni, exams and all the work you've been doing, you haven't had the chance to take care of yourself. baji's been much of the same, with the same workload, and you know that's the reason he's snapped. you both want this. god, you want this. "keisuke," is the soft, shaky exhale that leaves your mouth. that's all he needs.

he doesn't waste any time, leaning forward. the tight grip on your thighs return, and he's pushing your legs so your thighs are against your stomach, knees pressed against your tits. you gasp, finally, finally feeling baji's mouth on your cunt.

he's impatient, immediately going to lap at your clit like a man starved, a guttural groan leaving his throat. his eyes don't leave yours even as yours flutter closed. it feels so fucking good, his tongue is so warm and wet, making even more of a mess as you whine his name. "god, y'taste so fuckin' good," he moans, lips closing around the sensitive bud.

your hands automatically go to his hair, fingers tangling themselves in his black locks. he sighs as you pull at them lightly, burrowing his face deeper into your pussy. he could die like this, hearing you whimper his name as he slurps at your clit, the taste of you like heaven on his tongue. he moans like he's the one being eaten out, his hips jutting forward as his cock strains against his pants.

"oh god, kei, i'm-" you're close already. it's too much, baji's deep groans, the way his tongue swirls around your clit and how he sucks on the bundle of nerves. you're so out of it you don't notice one of his hands leaving your thighs, instead sneaking in between them to prod at your entrance. he slides in two fingers at once, and the stretch feels so good, his fingers longer and thicker than yours.

immediately, he finds the spot that has you seeing stars, repeatedly curling his fingers into it, urging you to cum. his name is like a prayer on your lips as that coil of pleasure in your belly snaps, your vision going white as you tug at his hair.

slowly, baji stops and eventually pulls away, the room silent save for both of your heavy breaths. you slowly open your eyes, peering down at him still staring up at you, lust clouding his eyes, pupils blown out. your breath hitches as he licks his lips, knowing damn well what it means.

"keisuke-" you gasp as he starts up again, fingers curling up into your sweet spot. your legs twitch as he lets out a deep chuckle, fangs gleaming in the light. "we're not done yet. you can give me one more, can't ya?" that wolfish grin feels like a death sentence. you make a noise of protest, shaking your head, telling him you can't, only for him to click his tongue and go faster.

after all, eventually, you always give him what he wants.

[maddsmallow]

" "con, don't you ever fuckin' relax?"

"lieutenant, i'm a machine. i don't need to 'relax'."

"oh fuck you, come on, we're on break. loosen up a little or something. you can chill out from your fuckin' mission for the three minutes it'll take me to smoke this cigarette. and shut your mouth before you go telling me it isn't actually exactly three minutes on average to smoke a cigarette or whatever."

connie closes her mouth. a small addition to her list of missions to accomplish is made: try to appear "relaxed" to appease lieutenant anderson. a raise in friendship means an easier partner to work with, so connie carefully inspects the lieutenant's posture and does her best to replicate it. being a machine of plastic and metal certainly doesn't make it easy. "

hankcon, but gorls. did i base hank off of my butch lesbian manager at my old job at a sex toy store who was covered in spongebob tattoos? absolutely yes i did

mostly i just wanted to portray fem!hank as a Large Woman because i think there is a severe lack of that. broad with muscle hidden under fat, like the kind of woman who does shot put. so uh,,, ms trunchbull basically LMAO. deep voice, raspy from smoking and drinking, all that good stuff 😩👌 also peep the button on her jacket hehe

got some headcanons and stories for them under the cut!

-hank wears cargo shorts 100% of the time. no matter the weather or temperature. like, 'bill and ted at prom in shorts, but it's her at a dpd ceremony in cargo shorts' level. but not actually because i'm totally gonna draw her in a pantsuit later, totally not with connie on her hip in a slinky dress 👀

-also yes hank's shirt is a spongebob reference

-when people ask hank why she goes by hank and not her "real name," (which i like to headcanon is "henrietta") she always says, "oh it's actually a really funny story, i'll tell you later," and the later never comes lmao. or, if she does tell you, it's some made up wacky story that actually has nothing to do with giving herself the name hank. the real reason? she just likes it

-speaking of "henrietta," this story, 'if you know where to look' by ghost_teeth, works so fucking well with a lot of my headcanons about how their characters would be like genderbent! highly recommend it, and all their dbh stories honestly!

-connie has a compact gun (i asked my brother for examples and he said sig p365 or springfield hellcat, which i think work perfectly for this) holstered inside her jacket on the left side. also, i'm stealing this idea from this post (which basically almost has the same design for fem!connor (altho like, most designs for her are basically the same lmao)) but she also has a knife strapped to her thigh

-her skirt is actually made of some super high tech flexible and durable material, and she's got specific programming to make her balance crazy good, since she'll be running in heels. she's made to hunt and pursue deviants so obviously she needs to be able to run and jump. the outfit is only made to appear like a standard "business woman" to blend in with the humans she would be required to work with, but otherwise gives her everything/doesn't hold her back from doing what she needs to complete her mission. here's a bonus conversation i had with @extraordinaryandroid about it lmaoo:

-hank met connor-51 first for the ortiz case, but connie-52 (with 51's memories of course) came in the next day when it was announced they were to be officially paired to investigate deviants. cyberlife has their grubby lil hands in everything so of course they knew their RK800 unit would be paired with this lieutenant anderson before basically anyone else, and deemed that she'd get along better with a "female model" that she would find attractive. which of course has hank like WOW that's super weird and gross of y'all! and i fucking hate that it's working you pieces of shit at cyberlife !!!! but ofc connie's like "im a machine i dont even have a gender" all the while hank's sweatin major thirsty bullets

-at the cyberlife tower, connor-51 is the one to hold hank at gunpoint. how did he get hank to trust him? idk i haven't figured that out yet lmao, but the angst of connor-51 essentially taking the place of -60 from the game in the sense that he's clearly deviant in some capacity, in this context being that he feels connie stole the life he deserved (which he'd never admit) and now wants to suck up to cyberlife and be their best boi to feel important and special again and not knowing they'd just throw him away for the RK900 model, is very good imo. that was a very long sentence so i hope it made sense lmaoo. have i worked out all the details of how all that shit would work in a story? absolutely not, im too busy thinking about butch fem!hank making her robo girlfriend bluescreen in the bedroom 🤪

also if ur wondering wtf the background is, idk. my usual plain color gradient was too simple, but i did NOT want to put in the effort to do a whole ass real background, so i settled on something in between. meh, it's just them hagin' out behind the station on a smoke break ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

consider supporting me on ☕! ko -fi. com / maddsmallow (without spaces)

[sleepynegress]

On Challengers...

Okay.

So, here's the thing. It's decent.

It's sassy, catfighty, but with dudes using rackets and tongue-wrestling, and the tennis scenes are tense, but... it wasn't at all confidently scandalous like I would've expected.

....Like I feel like they didn't push it far enough, somehow? And not even in the way you might think, with dicks a-swingin and thrusts abundant. Remember, the movie Closer? -I think that came out in 2007ish and was rated PG-13??? Or could have been if not for the language.

Natalie Portman has a similar nudity clause to her contract and *STILL* had the absolute sexiest scene with Clive Owen.... .....Which I'll put in this post to demonstrate what I mean. This felt like it held back at moments... When it came to pushing desire, between the men and/or with Zendaya, with one or the other. It just felt so tame to me given the hype. I was hoping for a return to artistic sensuality in film again, instead of this weird sort of by-rote-feeling purity culture we're having rn. (I'm watching Love Lies Bleeding tonight and I BET that delivers. Lesbians, salude!) I was hoping for Cruel Intentions' lush cut with The Dreamers' sensuality..if that makes sense?? AND some good-good tennis. THAT did deliver. WOW, some of the shots for that were eye-popping. A critic I follow noted that her issue (she always has the best takes I don't agree with all of them but they are always well-articulated) was that Zendaya was not fleshed out as a central figure, especially as a BLACK WOMAN. It was yet again another case of a Black woman dropped down from the moon coming from no people of her own, but just somehow existing in a sea of white people with not a hint of Black friends or loved ones.

Hell, they could've even laid out *her people* like the brilliantly underrated Beyond The Lights with Minnie Driver playing the stage manager mom to Gugu Mbatha Raw's biracial pop star. But that comes down to the white male gaze fucking it up, yet again. I looked up the screenwriter and just kind of nodded knowingly with an 'oh, yeah that's what I expected, that explains it...' He simply didn't have the range beyond a sort of vague tennis fetish for brown girls in short skirts grunting and swinging and wanting to do something with that. He admitted that Naomi and another Black woman player's interaction on the court *inspired* this...

Perception of Black women doing ANYTHING can be so heavy with a weirdly asexual gaze from white women and hyper-sexualized by white men. And if desire/centering tips in the "wrong" direction deemed by prejudice and our assumed place....*yeesh* we catch hell. You're either bafflingly too ugly to be treated with desire (whew the incel bigots are big mad that it's Zendaya and not a Sweeney-type) or only deemed good enough for it, because of that white gaze. And resented regardless.

*sigh* Can't win for losing. But I digress. Zendaya's co-stars are the oddest looking mystical-dwarf-head ass forest creature white boys with big ears, but they GAVE in the acting department. Mike Faist is a STAR. He has a sort of laidback sweetly confident rizz. But he definitely is the lovechild of a young Scott Glenn and DJ Qualls. I want to put him in a western immediately because he has Civil War photo face.

Mike O'Connor has that desperate dirty hairy scruffy thing like dude from The Bear. Like you KNOW he has a scratch tat somewhere and would do the dirty with his partner in the toilet stalls or anywhere else. Hollyweird is strange about beauty standards man. Back in the day, they used to pretend old white men, who looked like they smelled like Barbasol mixed w/ urine would somehow be sexy to a twentysomething. Now, we have this dichotomy of thankfully a little more of a diverse gaze for the centered "bombshell" other than blonde with large breasts number 32637263872.... but we also have some actresses cutting fat out their cheeks and being Ozempic thin. *sigh* ...While the "basic" hot boys are punching the air rn because they are also passé. Got to have something interesting going on in the face for everyone now, I think. Can't just be AI "pretty" anymore. Thankfully.

....Anyway. It is good, but with those caveats I laid out.

P.S. ICONIC for me is seeing Zendaya's Black-ass nose bridge drawn large on that poster. P.P.S Thank LUCA for doing the queer elements well... I personally don't think it went far enough, tho...

Mike bottoming for all, including getting pegged by Zendaya would've happened in my version of this... at least implied, come on (ficwriters?) Oh! and here are the clips from Closer, but then it was a successful play first, so the script is more substantial in that.

This is how filthy I expected Challengers to be, and it's just. not. Nothing in The Challengers touches the heavy heady nastiness in this scene IMO, but something in that movie should have, dammit! Note they never even touch each other.

[sacriou]

Lalala I wanted to make a few monster hunter ocs so here’s the one I’m having the most fun figuring out!!

Haven’t figured a proper name for it yet but calling it blizzardgeuse is silly

I also wanted to write out some behavioral traits and such for it’s since it’s a variant! Wanted to take it’s new abilities into account so I’m putting that all under the cut :D

It’s a frozen bazeulgeuse! I know it’s kinda tacky to take a fire monster and make it Ice and vise versa but like I really think this guy deserved a better variant tbh- nothing wrong with pissed purple bazeulgeuse but I feel like it’s missed potential.. anyways I teetered around the idea of maybe it’s lethal scale material being an assortment of things like bismuth, radioactive sludge, maybe even a noxious gas, but alas the color pallet of ice crystals and a frozen over bagelgoose was too cool for me to pass up!

Now that that babble of an introduction is over let’s go over its behaviors,

- instead of regular bazeulgeuse which claims large masses of territory and oversees its prey, this variant is more ‘contained’ with its distruction

- this fat fuck cant really fly, the liquid it keeps sealed in its frozen over scales is too heavy for its body and its tissue on its wings is too thin paired with poor circulation that hasn’t adapted well enough yet to keep the wings from freezing up in higher altitudes. If this fella is in the air it’s for a very short time, and you may want to make sure you no where near it because it’s due for a crash landing dive bomb.

- I’m not sure the exact biological term for it but think of it like a Venus fly trap! It has a smaller amount of territory that it will claim but it remains mostly dormant to conserve energy to regenerate the scales on its chin and tail and to save its energy for stronger prey. However any smaller monsters that tread to closely to its resting place may never be seen again

- it relys on its camouflage to blend into frozen cliff sides or under larger piles of snow! It doesn’t need to hide from anything so to speak- this is a very dangerous monster in its natural habitat- but it helps the beast get its beauty sleep undisturbed and maybe find a snack here and there

- its wings aren’t useful for flying but they are still very important for this guys attacks! Aside from brute physical strength and a massive build, this guys has a roar so powerful it can cause the scales on its body to detach, and with a flick of the wings they go soaring towards any unfortunate onlookers

- the scales on impact (wether it be from a weapon, wind pressure, any touch tbh) will explode with a frozen liquid that will solidify on impact with the blasts of cold air from bazeulgeuses wings- this thing basing its hunting methods for larger prey on slowly immobilizing it until its motionless

- this beast needs a lot of energy to keep itself up and moving, it takes a lot to keep its body function and freezing! So lots of sleeping and eating for this giant

[sp3ncer45]

Guess who decided to make a size chart mee I did

//MENTION OF ED/SH//

(CHANGES/HCS UNDER CUT)

||Keroro||

-He/him, cis, gay

-45(human years)

-He's short now like really short, I thought it would be cute

-a little bit chubby heart emoji

-He's got brown in his colors now(stole that from ziv❤)

-Claws!!!!!!

-Fuckass ushanka(Chip revvington reference I gave him a ushanka because of that FUCKASS chainsaw beast)

-I have a theory/headcanon that the keroro platoon was created and put together by keron hq to kind of be a "mascot platoon" with keroro being the somewhat offical mascot for the keron army, so like I wanted to make keroro look kind of cutesy like a marketable mascot. Hes not fully marketable here, his designs a little too complicated, but I imagine that keron has an altered version of keroro that's much closer to his original purpose that they use in tv and in products

||Tamama||

-He/She/They, genderfluid, likes men that's all I know

-15(human years)

-SHES TALLLLLL for a keronian atleast

-to be honest he changed the most out of all the others

-anyways they have much bulkier limbs now

-I wanted to make him look a little "manmade" with the colors on their body n the way shes built I suppose?? theres a reason for that

-Tamama is a clone, like dark keroro. I hc that on keron clones have to be genetically distinct from from non clone keronians so they can be identified as clones, like for example, their underbellies being dark colors as compared to the light colors of most keronians, and the lack of feet.

-Hes a clone of one of the very high ranking soldiers of the keron army. They were created as an experiment to test genetic mutations and making stable lifeforms with said mutations. He was raised by one of the scientists who was having issues having children of their own and so decided to take her in. Keron is surprisingly very open about their genetic testing and the fact they create manmade keronians, so tamama was allowed to live a pretty normal life and went to school n such.

-She has an ED where he will often binge large quantities of food and then purge for extended periods of time

||Giroro||

-He/him, cis(?), the most he will say is bi-curious (Hes mega gay)

-45(human years)

-Buff as hell

-is that a little bit of chub? or is it muscle belly? he won't tell you that's for sure

-I made his scar cooler

-his belt has multiple pictures of it, some of the cat, some of natsumi(NOT BC HE HAS A FUCKING CRUSH ON HER ITS BC HE CARES ABT HER LIKE A DAUGHTER I WILL KILL MYSELF OVER GIRONASTU AND NOT IN A GOOD WAY) but on the top is a picture of he and is family(garuru and his dad)

||Dororo||

-He/him, FTM, bisexual

-38(human years)

-Hes supposed to be canonically lean? no, fuck you, hes fat as hell actually

-Before coming to pekopon, he had a terrible ED, he would hardly eat or drink and this was mostly due to being psychologically abused by his mentor about being natrually plus-sized when he was training to be an assassin.

-When he came to pekopon, and became a ninja, he was able to overcome his ED and accept his body as it is. Realizing he was trans and transitioning helped a lot as well as the "ninja lifestyle".

-Also I hc that the time it took for him to reunite with the keroro platoon was significantly longer than how it was canonically (like 1 year), and when he reunited with the keroro platoon he was still struggling with body image issues relating to gender and weight. He was still in the middle of his journey of self-acceptance as well.

-Stretch marks bc I imagine that he gained a fairly large amount of weight in a short amount of time

-His hat drape thingy is much longer now(also stolen from ziv(hi ziv)) he treats it like hair sometimes

-some big ol long sharp claws❤(he likes to scratch things up like a cat, theirs a cat stretch pole at he and koyuki's place)

-Droopy eyes bc I think it makes him look silly

-PAW PADS!!!!!

||Kururu||

-He/they/ku, gender? I hardly know her, pansexual

-24(human years)

-Ku is chubby ❤ as he should be

-Hypersexual(that's from donnie hi donnie)

-SH scars from SH

-I imagine that they have quite a lot of self hatred issues and an inferiority complex. Ku hates to take care of himself bc he views themself as "undeserving" of care.

-The weird jerky uncaring asshole thing he has going on is mostly a shield so people won't see his true emotions, but also it's so people will hate him. In ku's mind if people hate him then they won't care about him, since he believes hes unworthy of it. It ends up being an toxic cycle, though, as he continues to keep up the jerk act, he believes hes more and more unworthy of love and care, so keeps it up, and so on and so forth.

EXTRA BITS:

-Kururu is the average height for civilian keronians, while dororo and giroro are around the height of soldier keronians. I hc that the keron army typically recruits taller keronians especially for on field stuff.

-I HC that keronians do croak, and keronians all have unique croaks. They typically croak when they are content, kind of like a purr but more casual. However in keronian society its considered rude to purr so most do it at home alone or with family. Croaking is kind of like a stim for keronians, they can do it as they please but sometimes they'll do it subconsciously as well

-speaking of purring keronians also purr. They purr when they feel good or are very happy. Unlike croaking they can't control purrs. What makes a keronian purr depends on the individual, sometimes a keronian has to feel really really good to purr sometimes a keronian will start purring at the drop of a dime lol

-Sometimes they knead like a cat but it's quite rare and only some do it.

(close ups of the characters)

[gingerlee-holds]

Kayde Screams at Pokémon: Sableye

to clarify, this is a follow-up to this post. i chose this first Pokémon because of a certain @/pokemon-cards-hourly, and i may use them to make more

also prepare to see me cuss like a sailor- i don't usually add that warning but this time i think its warranted

Sableye!! this lil bastard!! #0302 in the 'dex

i browsed the Pokédex and these are the facts i gleamed-

they live in caverns, lead quiet lives, they're feared for supposedly stealing spirits, they're seen only rarely, and they lurk in darkness

they eat rocks and gems, the substances from eaten rocks crystallize on its body, its gemstone diet transforms its eyes into gemstones, and its favorite food is Carbink (another Pokémon)

they dig through the ground with their sharp claws, their eyes sparkle in darkness, they feed on gemstone crystals, and they have hard claws and thick pointy teeth

during their mega evolution, the crystal on their torso grows and becomes a gigantic shield, but that limits movement

and now, screaming time

firstly, the reason organic organisms consume food is to gain nutrients, such as carbohydrates, fats, or proteins. rocks and crystals (rocks are just a conglomerate of crystals) do not contain any such nutrients. additionally, the digestion of such minerals would be extraordinarily challenging for any biological organism.

secondly, it keeps saying that the eyes have transformed into gemstones due to its diet. what the fuck does that mean??? the eye is comprised of delicate tissues, like the retina, cornea, and all of the photoreceptors in the back of the eye, all of these work together to give the brain a clear vision, and they're super finicky, as evident by the fact that there are so many fucking vision problems. it clearly states that the eye transforms into the gemstone because of the diet, similar to a flamingo's feathers turning pink from their shrimp diet. but but that would be turning a complex, very finicky organic eye into an inorganic one through some process??? that isn't possible, especially not with enough precision to craft such finely-cut diamond-looking eyes as we see in the picture.

thirdly, the Pokédex thinks its important to repeat over and over the supposed fact that Sableye can steal people's spirits- i can ramble on and on about this specifically, but ill keep it short. if you're making an entry in a scientific database, keep the folklore out of it unless you can prove it! literally just include one "but there is ongoing studies seeking to test this claim" and ill let it slide, but no! don't put that nonsense next to its habitat and diet! its ridiculous!! this isn't to say i don't believe in spirits in the Pokémon world because i know those exist, (also in the real world), but if you're going to put it into the Pokédex, don't leave room for wiggle room- either it steals spirits or it doesn't. clarify that! in your friggin'!!! scientific database!!!!!!!

fourthly when something is digested, it is broken down, and the pokedex leads me to believe that in the sableye, the gems appear on the outside of the creature whole??? what, is it teleported??? how could inorganic matter crystallize on the surface of a creature? and what purpose does that even serve? wouldn't that be wasting the materials it apparently worked so hard to find so it could eat?

fifthly, and this is kind of a gripe about Pokémon in general, its use of the term 'evolution' has poisoned it forever. like, the amount of creationists i've spoken to who go "but a cat cant give birth to a dog" is unbelievable- evolution occurs in populations over time, and instead, in Pokémon, it happens in one creature in a matter of moments. a-fucking-huh???? some of these are more believable, like the metamorphosis of a caterpillar into a butterfly, but mega evolutions are too fucking weird!!! there's no goddamn way a creature could just- become as large as a building in a matter of seconds, and the fact that the gems grow in size too despite being inorganic?? how is that- hhhh????

alright im finished heehee- im thinking about creating a pokemon OC named Professor Maple (because that's one of my names and it fits the tree name thing for professors) who just. screams at the pokedex lmao

cuz, and this will become evident in other entries in this series, the pokedex will just say shit!! and not think about the ramifications!! grgrgrgrgr!!!

if anyone calls me a nerd or a dork, i stg- it'd make me feel nice but a hug would as well-

[fantasticelephants]

Woolly Mammoths: The Lady's Not for Cloning - by Barry Evans

Beth Zaiken's reconstruction of a woolly mammoth. Courtesy of the artist

When I asked self-styled "museum artist" Beth Zaiken if I could use her evocative painting of a mammoth for a story, she was quick to point out that the image I attached was not just a mammoth, it was a woolly mammoth. Turns out, mammoths came in many shapes and sizes, with woolly mammoths particularly celebrated over other species because they were the last to go extinct. Indeed, we have over 500 early depictions of woolly mammoths in dozens of caves in Spain, France and Russia, the earliest of which were painted 35,000 years ago. (Anatomically modern humans are thought to have reached Europe nearly 50,000 years ago.)

Cave paintings are just one way we know about these magnificent creatures. They are, in fact, the best studied of all extinct animals because so many frozen carcasses have been found, mostly in Siberia and Alaska. For thousands of years, they co-existed with humans, leading to speculation that our ancestors hunted them to extinction. Best bet is that it was a combination of over-hunting and climate change, the latter greatly reducing its habitat. They nearly made it to the present, though! Although most groups went extinct soon after the end of the most recent ice age, around 11,500 years ago, some isolated populations survived much longer. A herd living on Wrangel Island, the large Russian island northwest of the Bering Strait, probably survived until 4,000 years ago, meaning they were around for a good thousand years after the Nile pyramids were built. 

Mammoths are typically shown in movies and cartoons as living in a snowy wasteland, but their actual habitat was "tundra steppe," similar to today's Russian steppes. They were herbivores, spending up to an estimated 20 hours a day eating grasses and sedges to support their intake of up to 400 pounds of food a day, putting them in the same dietary class as modern elephants. Their adaptations to the cold included (of course) hairy coats — actually two coats: long "guard hairs" on the outside overlaying a short, softer undercoat, which in turn covered a 4-inch layer of fat just under the skin. Their short ears and tails helped minimize heat loss and frostbite. They lived to about 60 years old.

Most of the news about mammoths these days discusses the click-bait possibility of resurrecting the species — that is, bringing woolly mammoths back to life using DNA from soft tissue material and hair follicles in their frozen corpses. That became a talking point after the genome was completely mapped about a decade ago, when researchers showed that extinct woolly mammoths and extant African elephants share about 99 percent of their genomes. 

One promoter of this idea, aptly named Colossal Biosciences, explains on its website that it plans to: "Use gene editing tools that work like scissors to cut [African] elephant DNA and provide a mammoth sequence to incorporate into elephant cells in the same location." Reinsert the engineered egg into the uterus of the unwitting mom-to-be and 22 months later, the elephant's calf is born with woolly mammoth genes. Whether there's enough usable DNA in long-dead, frozen mammoths is debatable, as is the morality of the venture. Happily (for this writer), several prominent geneticists have come out in opposition to this kind of "if we can do it, we should do it" caprice. If the de-extinction effort is successful, a wildlife reserve in Siberia, given the hopeful name "Pleistocene Park" (shades of Jurassic Park), has been designated as a future home for the de-extincted critters.

One final tidbit: The word "mammoth" probably derives from "mehemot," Arabic for "Behemoth." In the biblical Book of Job, the Behemoth was said to be one of the two monsters created by God early in creation, the other being Leviathan, a monster whale. Which is somehow fitting for one of the most majestic creatures to have ever lived.

[notsosilentsister]

What not many people know about me is that I am - can be, with some effort - a half decent actress. I used to dabble in acting in college. The highlight of my career was the role of Gaston, a regular at the titular Lapin Agil, in the Steve Martin play Picasso at the Lapin Agil. The play is about Picasso and Einstein meeting in a Parisan bar at the turn of the century, discussing the respective merits of art and science, and finally bonding over their shared awe for each other's genius. Gaston is an old Frenchman, who only cares about sex and booze. His definining characteristics are that he's perpetually horny and incontinent. His catchphrase is "I have to pee!". He has a long monologue bragging about his sexual exploits which end in his lover (or himself? my memory is hazy) having to be hospitalized due to exhaustion, which our director originally cut, presumably because it contributes nothing to the plot, and very little to the theme. She put it back in, because she liked me, I have to assume, and wanted to give me a bit more to do. It was the role I was born to play.

While the girl other girls playing men in this production used binders, I decided to do without them. Gaston was a fat guy, he could have man boobs. I remember the first rehearsal in costume. Everyone looked awesome in their period costumes, the effect was well worth the discomfort of corsets and binders (I know, I know, well-fitted corsets are not uncomfortable, but let's just assume that the ones used in this production weren't well fitted) . I hadn't found anything in my size at the costume rental, so I had borrowed an old suit from my grandpa. Our very talented make-up artist gave me a red drunkard's nose. It looked extremly convincing. On the bikeride back to my flat, I suddenly found myself crying. I still feel the surprise of those tears on my cheek, quickly enough dried by the airstream, but still dropping relentlessly. I almost never think about the way I look, but here I was, having just looked at myself, devastated by that all too effortless image in the mirror of that old goat Gaston and completely caught off guard by the extent of my devastation.

I sometimes joke that I am a woman just as I am a catholic - assigned the role by accident of birth, raised in the spirit, but mostly lapsed in practice, never quite ready to let go of it for largely sentimental reasons. And maybe that's even true, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't go deep. I might sometimes be flippant about my womanhood, but when I think of that sudden and utter devastation I felt on that ride home from the rehearsal, there is no other way to describe it but gender dysphoria. There was not enough difference between my costume and my regular look. I hated the thought of potentially being seen like that, not too differently, at any rate, beyond the stage. Still, that time playing the old French drunk in college was one of the most fun things I ever did. Because I quickly snapped out of it and reminded myself that it's just a play. I'm a ciswoman who greatly enjoys drag. Precisely because it's not who I actually am. For me, it's a vacation away from home. Sometimes I just need a change of air. For a short while, I don't have to convince anyone as a woman, because that's not the role. And I don't have to convince anyone as a man, because it's just a role! I find that quite liberating. But eventually, I return. If I didn't return, it wouldn't feel like vacation, it would feel like exile.

People often have quite conflicting ideas about the role of performance in a person's life. I think there are at least three different types of performance. There's the performance that serves you, because it becomes reality ("fake it till you make it", an unskippable step of almost any learning process; studies show that people will reliable perform better when they imagine and consequently comport themselves as already possessing the skills they aim to acquire). There's the performance that drains you, because it denies reality (the never diminishing, often too costly, rarely sustainable efforts of masking, slowly but surely setting you on the path to burn-out). And finally there's the performance that serves you, because it is not reality, and by not being reality, drawing it into sharper relief. The trick, I guess, is to not get them confused.

[gogotti]

Raymond Kenny/Reader-NSFW

Fem!Reader, Plus-sized reader, Femdom, Reader gives him head and makes him beg :) This is based on WatchDogs 1 Ray but I couldn't find any gifs of him in that game rip

Ray was tired and seriously fucking hungry. 

He had been on the run for weeks, fixers up and down his ass like no tomorrow, and finally he lost them, his signal ran cold and his bounty was shelved until someone fucking blew his cover. Again.

He didn't really enjoy breaking and entering but he hadn't eaten for days, and a quick sandwich in someone's house didn't sound too bad, so he made sure to pick a yard that didn't have any child toys in it. He made sure to be as quiet as he could picking the lock, and he silently cheered for himself for managing to actually pull it off. It was simple from there, silently opening the fridge and pulling out his ingredients. He was stoked that he managed to pick a place that had, apparently, just gone shopping and he was a bit too greedy with how fat he made his sandwich. He had just taken a large bite when the light went on, stopping him in his tracks like a deer in headlights. 

The woman crossed her arms and Ray couldn't help but stare at her appearance, she was plus-sized, and as she stared at him he looked at the way her breasts sat on top of her arms and how they borderline spilled out of the small containment they were in. The tank top she was wearing cut off and revealed a portion of her tummy and the shorts she had on fit her large thighs nicely. Ray couldn't help but think of how long it's been since he's even felt the touch of another, but on the outside, he didn't do anything but stand up straight and swallow his food. 

“Did you really break into my house to make a sandwich?” She spoke, her voice sounded nice to him, and he stared for a bit before he nodded, hoping honesty would get him some kind of pity. She hummed, “You’re gonna have to pay me back for that.” 

He sighed, missing the way she looked him up and down before speaking again, “The door at the end of the hall.” He looked up from the ground and squinted, confused, at her. “Go there when you're done eating, I’m gonna put you to work.” He didn't respond, but she didn't care because she turned, the bottom part of her silky robe flowing up in the air softly as she walked away.

He wondered what she had planned for him as he ate, and his heart raced when he finally reached the door at the end of the hall, which was open slightly. When he came in he slowly walked to the center of the room, and he couldn't react quickly enough when she pushed him back against the door she had closed. 

Now, realistically he wasn't trapped at all, but by god, was he gonna act like it. She was pressed against him, her body warm and her breasts spilling out of her tank top. He watched as she smiled up at him, her teeth visible, and he swore that her canines were larger than average. 

She trailed a hand up his body, to the back of his neck, and finally, she pulled him down to reach his lips and kissed him. He happily kissed back, slightly sweaty palms going to her plump waist and grabbing all he could. She groaned, her hands going to tangle in his dreads and pull, roughly. 

He choked a bit and she took advantage of his guard being down, managing to fully dominate the kiss. He wasn't expecting that, and he didn't know how to deal with it, other than fighting back, but whenever he would attempt to take power back she’d pull his hair like it was his leash. And he would listen like he was her dog. 

It didn't take long for the older man to be whimpering, and he felt nothing but pure embarrassment. She relished in it though, each shameful whimper he let out would cause her to grind herself against the leg he had between hers. She would moan into the kiss, and every noise she made would set him on fire again and again and before he realized it he was grinding on her thigh, and she was encouraging him to. 

“Do you feel good?”, she spoke, in a low and sultry tone that made him whimper again, and his voice cracked this time, and she hummed in amusement as he cleared his throat and nodded. She smiled up at him, her eyes half-lidded, “Awh.” She said as she trailed her hand under his shirt and played with the hairs of his happy trail, “That's good, but I can't hear your head nod sweetheart. I’m gonna need you to speak up for me.”

He mumbled a quick, “It feels good.” But she wasn't satisfied, she stopped her grinding and attempted to move away, but he caught her and quickly corrected himself. “It feels so fuckin’ good, don't stop.” He looked at her pleadingly but she smiled and moved anyway, moving in the direction of her bed. He got the message and joined her quickly, moving to the spot she pointed at and settling back into it. She climbed on top of him and she suddenly stopped his hands before he could even touch her. 

“Hands up there.” She placed his hands above his head and he sighed but complied, he wanted to grab, and squeeze every part of her that he had missed previously, but he relaxed as she moved her hands along his body and finally hooked her fingers in his pants. 

She quickly took his cock out and he sighed in relief, watching as she lowered herself down, arching her back so that her ass was in the air. She stuck her tongue out and licked from the base of his cock to the tip and then focused her lips on the tip, sucking and jerking off the rest. He sighed, lowering his head back and resting it on the pillows behind him, his eyes rolling to the back of his head and his hips jerking a bit. She rested her hand on his hip to keep him in place and he groaned lightly at the strength she used to hold him down. She lightly swiped her thumb on his bare hip, and lightly swiped at the head of his cock, over and over. 

He wanted more and his attempt at jerking his hips upwards was met with no success, as her grip on him was stronger than he initially thought. She hummed disapprovingly, and continued at the same pace, watching him struggle and whine. How would he express that he wanted more without sounding too desperate, he was already embarrassing himself with the whimpers he let out and he’d bet that he’d whimper just asking for more too. 

She stopped and he sighed loudly, “Please don't stop. I need-...  I need more than just that little tongue flick.” 

She hummed and got back to work, this time going rougher than before, but still, not enough to get him over the edge, where he wanted to be. He couldn't help but jerk his hips and hope that with each thrust upward he would finally reach that peak of pleasure that he craves, but instead, he would be met with a painful squeeze at his hip and a threatening gaze thrown toward him. 

He whined loudly and finally gave in to what the woman wanted, “Please, just make me cum already!”

She stopped and he couldn't help but glare, she laughed at him and he felt his face go red. “Asking for what you want wasn't that hard now was it?” She quickly got back to work and he threw his head back in a loud and high-pitched moan that he would compare to a sound a pornstar would make. He couldn't even focus on his embarrassment because by the time he registered the first moan, there were three more in its place, and by the time he acknowledged those he was already curled over the woman and cumming down her throat. 

He flopped back onto the bed, breathing heavily and she removed herself from him with a lewd ‘pop’ noise. She smiled and climbed on top of him, and all he could do was watch her, quickly noticing that her shorts were already off and her pussy was positioned over his very sensitive cock. He looked up at her confused and he felt his cock harden at her grin.

“Did you think I was done with you?”

[frostcorpsclub]

Are you taking Suzy x reader reqs?

If so, Suzy x fem reader?

I’m assuming by fem you mean like a femme lesbian? Anyway, this would fit best with a human Suzy. Hope you understood who she was before you asked for this lmao

The two of you would most likely meet at a party, whether you were a member of high society yourself or snagged an invite through a friend of yours. 

As you rubbed elbows and networked around the party you might notice her watching you from afar. Her eyes would slowly trace you up and down, taking in your behaviors and mannerisms, but most importantly your stunning gown and painted face.

If you approached her you’d find her very probing albeit withholding if you were to ask any questions in return. 

Having another rich friend would be fun and easy but she’d be even more excited to find you have no connections to the world you found yourself in that night.

She’d invite you up to her bedroom and if you accepted you’d be greeted by your femme dream. It would seemingly not have been changed since she was a little girl, elegant but pink and princess-like. 

Suzy would stay quiet for a moment, observing you again and waiting to hear what you think of it. 

Happy with your reaction you’d be dragged over to a walk-in-closet, Suzy turning to you with a beaming smile but piercing and stiff eyes.

“Would you like to try something on?” 

Your response to the question wouldn’t exactly matter, you’d end up in something either way. If you were fat like Suzette you might find yourself feeling incredibly comfortable, she’d find as much joy in your newfound options as you, a little like finding the perfect outfit for your doll. 

A skinnier person wouldn’t be as comfortable in her clothes but this is only an opportunity to get close to you. 

Holding up fabric, pinching, pinning, etc. 

On top of all this if she found you to be especially grateful she’d let you take whatever you want home with you.

It would more likely than not cut largely into the party, Suzy subtly having some of the hor d’oeuvres sent up the dumbwaiter so you have no reason to stop the fun early. Eventually though the time would come, you couldn’t stay there all night.

Her tone would change rapidly. At first it’d just be a nudge, you didn’t even get to the shoes or hair and makeup! 

Then outright frustration, you may even hear her whine. She’s not very used to being told no and like any normal person you’d be smart to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Enough time would pass that you may even forget the incident, but not completely, especially if you kept the dress. You may feel so inclined to go on a shopping trip. 

It would be nice to get some makeup to match it!

Once you browsed for a few moments you’d feel a tap on your shoulder, shocked to see Suzy there with that same expression. 

She’d notice your unease and swiftly turn on the charm. Taking one of your hands between hers she’d softly explain how she had only “noticed” you here and wanted to come over to apologize. 

Her birdsong voice makes her explanation very convincing, she doesn’t meet someone like yourself very often, someone she wanted to get to know so well. 

Against your better judgment, the way Suzy bats her thick doll lashes is just so alluring. Her chubby hands are soft and warm around your own. You’d be perfectly primed when she asked if you wanted to hang out, to give her a second chance. 

“I wouldn’t want to cut your trip short.”

She’d move on from the subject quickly, putting stuff in your basket you might not be able to afford and chuckling at you if you ever brought it up. 

Besides her practically buying out the store for you and drowning you in compliments on the way, you might become even further endeared to her after taking up her offer to spend time together. 

She knows how to charm someone but in more genuine terms Suzy truly didn’t have the opportunity to speak to someone who wanted to hear what she had to say. 

Willingly, not because they were paid, not because it was what the social hierarchy demanded. 

She would be genuinely interested in hearing about your favorite music, when she explained what she thought of it, it'd be the largest vocabulary you’d hear from her. That being said, her cluelessness is always good for a chuckle.

One moment she’s a few steps ahead of you at every turn and others she bumps into head first when you both reach for the same donut. 

Despite her instability she did pick out a very flattering dress for you, it makes sense to trust her when you finally get around to the makeover she wanted to give you! Her touch communicates a closeness that her words and expressions do not.

The way she rests her palm against your cheek to do your eyeliner, her plump lips only inches from yours, sends a chill up your spine. A single twitch and you’d end up accidentally touching lips.

She’d smirk like it was a completely normal accident and go back to what she was doing, emphasizing how each color and stroke of glitter brought out your natural beauty.

If you ended up going back home with Suzy consuming your thoughts then her goal is achieved. She had you right where she wanted you.

When you arrived home you’d see a large box wrapped with ribbon, ornate and embroidered like it was part of the gift itself. The tag is small but the cursive handwriting makes it clear who left it.

The thoughts of how she found out where you lived would be almost as worrisome as the thoughts of when you’d get to see her next. 

[n7viper]

Omg! For the wholesome oc ask meme: Mihri 19, 29 and 42. Lia 2, 11 and 14 💛 bonus: 3 for a character of your choice!

Hey! Sorry I sat on this ask and then stepped away for a while. Thank you for all of the questions 💖 I'm putting these below a cut because I rambled on some :3

(Wholesome OC Asks)

Mihri:

19. What is something they excel at?

Mihri is a very quick learner! She can pick up new skills easily and is a knowledge sponge. This certainly helps when you’re a Dalish elf largely unfamiliar with Andrastianism but now finding yourself as a religious figure. Along that train of thought, she excels at just… faking it ’til you make it. People doubt you less when you’re stupidly overconfident about everything.

29. They have a chance to get a tattoo: what would it be?

Botanical illustrations, probably something like arbor blessing snaked around her upper arm. I was originally thinking of a fun little fat toad tattoo when I was typing this out, and I found this wizard frog by Leah Samuels instead. This is definitely something Mihri would love.

42. Let them vent for a second, without the fear of being judged. What would they like to say?

Hah! I think she’d probably just vent at me. I typically enjoy fluffier fic, and the Inquisitor’s story is already angsty enough, so I had originally intended to just write happy things. Over time, her story has become a lot angstier, likely due to my own mental health, if I’m being honest. I had started her out as an only child, but I adopted a friend’s OC. Happy progress! …And then I promptly killed him off in my universe. She really did start out a lot happier, once upon a time. I’m gonna have to drag her into DA4 kicking and screaming.

Lia:

2. Give them a warm drink of your choice, what would it be? Would their choice differ from yours?

I would give her hot chocolate, maybe some of the salted caramel kind that I have in the cabinet right now. She would choose a fruity tea, like a blueberry. Or the lemon pound cake tazo tea I have in there as well.

11. What is an item of clothing/an accessory that completes them/makes them feel safe?

Oh, I actually had to stop and think about this one. Perhaps it’s because I’m not so fashion forward (I do love looking at haute couture for fun, but I live my life in t-shirts and shorts/leggings), but I hadn’t given much thought to how she might dress off-duty. She isn’t very materialistic; I don’t think she has a piece of clothing or even an accessory that she wears that truly completes her. She doesn’t have any sentimental items to wear; she left Mindoir with nothing. It isn’t a direct answer, but her pre-ME2 tattoos are what complete/comfort her. She has a sprawling strawberry vine on her left shoulder blade in memory of her parents. Finding it gone in ME2 is a big stressor (among everything else going on…) and Joker encourages her to get it redone when they have the time.

14. Quickly, let them give us some life advice!

I don’t know that it exactly answers the question (round 2 haha), but this is the first thing that came to mind when I read this question, so here you go! It’s hard to imagine what the state of healthcare and mental healthcare is going to be in the 2180s, but I do figure that a lot of people are going to be struggling post-Reaper War. Lia would be a big advocate for seeking help, talking to someone. It’s rough out there—don’t be afraid to reach out, ok?

Bonus round:

3. What is something they really like about themselves and what is something you really like about them?

Ugh man, I should really talk about someone other than Mihri, but I’m gonna answer it for her anyway. This also got away from me a bit. Whoops! First off, she usually skirts around answering the tough/serious questions most of the time, so she would answer this superficially. She isn’t insecure about her looks in the slightest and is aware of the fact that it’s easier for her to get her way because she’s attractive. So she loves that about herself. She’s just a smol little thing—isn’t she so cute? You’d do anything for her, wouldn’t you? Seriously, though, she loves being a mage and using that gift to help others. It doesn’t matter if that help is something big, like healing, or whether it’s embellishing children’s stories with little bits of magic. Her mother taught her to be proud of her magic, and she very much is! For me, I love her adaptability and perception. She’s great at gauging situations and reading the room and knowing how to react or interact with others. She often prefers to cope (or rather, deflect…) with humor and can be accused of not taking things seriously because of that. But she isn’t oblivious—she knows when her sarcasm or jokes would be welcomed and when they would not, when a joke would appropriately lighten the mood and when it would be a disaster. I also love that she’s a fucking liar, right down to her little core, but that she uses this to try to do good. One of the things that stuck out to me when I did my first playthrough with her was a side interaction at the base camp at the beginning of What Pride Has Wrought. There’s a soldier praying and reciting part of the Chant, and the “diplomatic”-type response from the Inquisitor is to finish that part of the chant for them—regardless of your origin (note: it may hinge on whether or not you accepted being the Herald of Andraste; I don’t remember a lot of those choices I made the first go-round!). At first it was one of those dialogue choices where I was like “oh, if I’d known she’d say that, I wouldn’t have chosen it.” But over time, I think it fits. Mihri doesn’t believe in Andraste, but to call back to the first question, she is a quick learner and has a great memory. She learns bits of the Chant to blend in and look like the Herald. The side benefits are that this boosts morale among the troops.

[robert-sims]

Silver Jeans Co. Women’s Suki Mid Rise Curvy Fit Slim Bootcut Jeans

Silver Jeans Co. is a well-known clothing brand that specializes in denim jeans for men and women. They offer a variety of styles and fits, including skinny, straight, bootcut, and relaxed.

Hot Product

Silver Jeans Co. Women’s Suki Mid Rise Curvy Fit Slim Bootcut Jeans

Slim bootcut jeans with a dark indigo rinse

8.75″ Mid Rise ; Inseams: 31/33/35″

Power stretch denim with highest stretch and recovery

5-pocket styling with a zip fly

Modeled in a size 24 with a 33″ inseam

A Review Of Silver Jeans Co.

I’m always hesitant to give 5-stars. In this case, the 4 stars are really more about my taste and my body – has nothing to do with the way these jeans are made. Looking at them and wearing them they feel well made and sturdy. I’ve never had a problem with Silver Jeans. In my experience they deliver what they advertise. I would say these jeans are super comfortable, don’t pinch or cut in on you. I’ve put on some weight these past few years so I ordered a 12 based on the size charts. Could of probably gone with a 10. I am 5’4 – not sure how much I weigh but I stopped fitting into my sz 6 jeans about 2 years ago and then 8’s are now too tight. I thought the 12 would work until I can drop the fats I’m lugging around. The jean is advertised as a Mid-Rise which is good for me because I am short waisted. Usually, Mid-rise jeans fit comfortably just below my belly button – MAYBE it’s because the size 12 I ordered is a bit too large and loose on me but the waist is more of a “high waist” from the 80’s :/ It really sits too high for my liking but I am only slightly disappointed in the fit, so hence the 4-Stars. Because they are a a size too large (and I’m too lazy to return them, hmmm might explain the fats, no?) I will just wear a belt – pay attention to the size charts and remember these jeans have a substantial amount of stretch to them.

Customer Q&As

Q: Are these real silver jeans or knock off?

A: I have to say to that the jeans I purchased matched the one I purchased from Macy’s. I purchased the real deal.

Q: So what is the “rise” measurement on these? Thanks.

A: Mid rise

Q: My 7 day trial is almost over and my return request hasn’t been approved yet. What do I do ?

A: Call the Amazon phone number

Timeless Style, Versatile Wear: With their timeless design and versatile wash, these jeans are perfect for any occasion. Dress them up with a blouse and heels for a night out, or keep it casual with a t-shirt and sneakers for a laid-back weekend look. However you choose to style them, these jeans are sure to become your new wardrobe essential.

Experience the Silver Jeans Co. Difference: Embrace your curves and embrace your style with Silver Jeans Co. Women’s Suki Mid Rise Curvy Fit Slim Bootcut Jeans. Elevate your denim game and discover the perfect blend of comfort, fit, and style with these curve-enhancing jeans. Flaunt your curves with confidence and style today!

[wordsofapanda]

My ex made a negative comment about my body. It hurt and boy did I take it hard but I was able to dust myself off and take it in stride. I am lucky that I have friends who supported me during this time. As a way to show myself love, I went clothes shopping. I’ve always struggled finding Jean shorts and jumpsuits that fit well or comfortable with my body shape. BUT BOYO BOY did I find some. I’ve been having really great luck at this specific Target location. I was nervous to try out some clothes but I told myself “you will not know if it fits your horribly unless you try”. Since I’m plus sized, I was fucking SHOCKED that I walked out with a size Large. I’m used to grabbing items that were XXL or XL with the occasional/rare L size. This cute and comfy jumpsuit I tried on was L and showed my back tattoo. These stretchy Jean shorts I found, were also a size L. Why is this such a huge deal? Because usually if I get away with a L size, it’s a top, not a bottom (jeans, skirts etc). I have a big midsection. I also walked away with a cute skirt that was L sized as well. I tried to walk away with clothes that weren’t black but i couldn’t deny that they fit perfectly on my body. After buying the clothes, I went to my local tailor. I was going to just cut the clothes shorter to accommodate the fact that I am obviously short but want to show my ankle tattoos. The tailor loved my jumpsuit and told me she can take in a couple of inches. When she put me in front of the mirror, she showed me where she could make alterations. It made me realize “holy shit, this is a L but with all the alterations I might be a M size”. It made me extremely excited to have a new jumpsuit that I was content with, but now will fit me perfectly. Although I was fat shaming myself earlier this week, I quickly realized how little sizes mattered. I’m ecstatic to wear more clothes that fit me like a glove. It’s only going to add to the confidence I’ve gained and I deserve it.