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#It's so fascinating to watch your art grow because even though you never wanted to take it seriously ever; you're still so talented
deerinstinct · 17 days
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hi love how have u been doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hi Cera! It's been a while I've been thinking about you. This serves as an update to everyone in the world, hmm... I've been... Not So Good this year as some may have noticed but Actually okay things have been pretty nice since I've been early-bird moding so much as of late, as in, I've been sleeping early and waking up early! It's nice! After all, a good sleep schedule is important for one's brain hormones. There's also been a lot of news & fun in my Video Game because of the 9th anniversary recently. I've been using twitter a lot because it helps with my neuroticism somehow due to the fact I got too compulsive about blogging & never got normal about it again, though I've been trying to work on it. Aaaaaand... All of church has been tomodaching it up recently (as in, playing tomodachi life!), whether through parallel playing or streaming in turns, with the power of emulation. It is a lot of fun :-) What else... I'm awaiting a new drawing tablet in a few days! It has a display, kind of scary, considering I've only ever used screen-less drawing tablet, or normal tablets that happen to have a stylus, so it's like, if they had a baby. Thank you for still thinking of Perceee, even after five years... (❁´◡`❁)
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slytherwrites · 1 year
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Yandere House of Black Headcanons
Characters: Narcissa, Andromeda, Bellatrix, Cygnus, Druella, Walburga, Orion, Sirius, and Regulus
It was Narcissa who latched onto you first. A fellow first year Slytherin who was a pureblood, but not familiar to the British Wizarding World before this, for whatever reason.
As a Black, her word was law for any Slytherins her year of the years under. At the start of first year, that wasn't many people except for their peers. Though, that was enough power to be able to make everyone else avoid you, so you would be running to her for everything.
Narcissa hated sharing with others she deemed as unworthy. And even other Sacred 28 purebloods were not worth your attention like she was.
Her sisters however, they were fine. They were allowed to be in your presence. They were worthy.
And that's where her mistake was made. Because Andromeda and Bellatrix both became as attached as she was with you.
She only went to them because they had more status then she did. Andromeda was smart, beloved with professors and students alike. And Bellatrix was feared.
But she didn't think that they'd be attached like she is.
Andromeda thought you were so kind and out of your element, wanting to teach you the joys of power and the good parts of being here with them.
Bellatrix found you fascinating, wanting to put you through the ringer in order to help mold you into a strong member of the House of Black.
Because sweet you were going to be a member no matter what. No matter what deal with the devil (their parents) they had to make, they'd get you as a sibling.
They brought you home for winter holidays. Cygnus was interesting. Very rarely his three daughters ever asked for the same thing. Very rarely they all accepted one person to this degree. Druella was concerned, knowing how fixated they were. After all, they are their father's daughters.
But it didn't take long for them to get attached to you too.
Cygnus is the first to crack, seeing you like a daughter as well. Like you were the last piece of the puzzle. It didn't matter that he didn't have a male heir. You were who they needed to round out the family.
Druella's concern only grew, but the obsessive nature of the family quickly watched over her. You were now her favorite child. Even if she didn't birth you, you were hers. She knew it. Her children knew it. That's why they brought you to her.
The Annual Black Family Yule Celebration was coming soon and you were invited, treated like the royalty they saw you as. And that's when the other half of the family finally met you.
Druella and Cygnus introduced you to Walburga and Orion. The girls had obligations to mingle with their betrothed and their families. But you were mingling with Walburga and Orion. All four of the adults knew of the intent: getting you arranged to be married to Sirius.
Sirius, their heir, was the one way to get you into the family forever. Marriage would bind you to them eternally.
It doesn't matter that your parents aren't here. They never really cared did they? Not like Cygnus and Druella do? Not like Walburga and Orion will.
Orion finds you of interest first. He holds a conversation with you, silently judging you to see what you're worth. And you've been taught well. Moldable, but he'd love to mold you into the perfect pureblood. He doesn't see you like he sees the others. It's potential he's glad to exploit.
Walburga isn't as impressed, but she likes seeing you squirm. The way you try so hard, but shy away from compliments is delicious. You're just like the girls she would lead during her school days. Though, she doesn't want to break you completely. You're like a piece of clay, able to become a prized piece of art.
They lead you to Sirius and Regulus. Regulus isn't impressed at first, but he grows as you indulge his childish instincts. And Sirius becomes jealous of that. He holds no claim to you yet, but something snaps into place in his mind. The once in sync brothers become at odds, each wanting your attention.
By the end of the break, your life is being planned out. Married to Sirius, becoming a Black yourself. Holding no power except to indulge your in-laws with your time. After all, they're making you into the best you can be. After all, they'll be your family now. After all, they'll be all you have left, once they get rid of the family you belong to now.
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cosmica-galaxy · 7 months
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How would your Oc’s (including Mimics) react to the human having multiple tattoos and piercings.
Camron would be fascinated! Wow!! Humans can paint their skin?! He thought that it was just an alliance member thing! What did they use to do it? A paintbrush? Pressurized paint? W-Whu...HUH? THEY USE A NEEDLE THAT STABS THEM 50 TO 3,000 TIMES PER MINUTE?!?! HOW CAN THEY ENDURE THAT??? However, the piercings are also shocking to him. You push THAT (the whole thing) through your CARTILAGE!? Humans are surprising in so many ways..holy shit. DJ would find the designs sick and awesome, but would also have the same reaction as Camron once he finds out that the human stabbed their skin with a needle multiple THOUSAND TIMES to just get the ink to set into their own flesh. It's pretty metal, not gonna lie! Even the elite members think it's pretty cool! He idly traces the designs sometimes, with the human's permission of course, as he thinks about how cool it would be to get "tattooed" like that. He also likes the piercings, though he internally wonders if they ever get infected or not. They look painful when he watches them shift around through your flesh. Vee would probably be the most impressed by the fact that you endured the sheer amount of pain during getting your tattoos. Especially in nerve sensitive areas, like your neck or your back. He doesn't really think about the designs of the tattoos, but more along the line of WHY you got them. Is it just another one of those "human things" that Vee will have limited understanding of? Still...it does look pretty cool. Makes you look tougher. However, he can't help but laugh at the thought of you trying to look intimidating while he holds your struggling form effortlessly off the ground. It's all for show. The piercings don't help, but at least your taste in accessories aren't horrible. They won't prevent him from picking you up, though. Haha! Buddy is enthralled by the colors and the designs of the markings in your skin. It's normal for alphas to grow markings when they become leaders of the pack, it's like a badge of authority. But he has never seen designs so...intricate and unique. The vibrancy of the colors...the swirls and slight scarring in your skin...it just makes him purr and rub up against the human in approval. At least you look like an alpha! He doesn't really understand the piercings, however. Maybe those are just a "human thing". Pal has issues detecting your tattoos, but he likes feeling the places where your piercings go! He's quite shocked that a human would pierce their own skin and stick things into it. Judging by feel alone, the designs of the accessories are rather detailed and they would probably be stunning if he had the proper eyes to view them with. While he can see the extent of what is in his surroundings, paint and other various things that are thinly applied to smooth surfaces will go undetected. So it's sad that he can see your tattoos. But thank you for letting him feel your piercings!
Fiend is intrigued by the designs and shapes that were STABBED into your skin. It makes him a little jealous that such works of art were merged directly into your body. Which just made you that much more wonderful to stare at. PRAY that you don't have a tramp stamp, because if Fiend ever finds out, he will flirt with you about it non-stop until you will want to kill him with a brick. You're pericings are also nice to look at. Do you think you can stab the skin on the top of your head so he can put antennas in it? . . .?? What's that look for??!
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nevarroes · 2 months
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Hey there! I saw your post about feeling down on yourself for “just being another fandom creator” and wanted to take the time to explain what I think makes you spechail a unique! (At least to me personally <3) I do not even own a copy of bg3 (or any of the previous baulders that may or may not exist) but I fallow you so I am frequently shown other peoples gortash art etc. but I never find myself interested, on the other hand your self destructive little body builder man IS one of my BIGGEST comfort characters right now. Not because of his affiliation with a popular game but because I see myself in him, because I care about his struggles and his ups and downs, I get a huge boost when I see you post every day not cause I’m looking forward to fandom content but cause I WANNA KNOW HIW MY FAVORITE CELEBRITY COUPLE IS DOING GODDAMN IT!!! I want to see the interactions and nuances you have built. I want to see them struggle at love, I want to see them fuck I want to see them grow emotionally despite themselves!(I wanna watch gort become a sphere). I can quite honestly tell you I am incapable of give it a flying fuck about cannon gortash cause yours is more interesting and far more endeared to me. I do not particularly care about the world of baulders gate because there is no Cas makeing everyone around him uncomfortable with his socially responsible behavior.
As far as I am concerned you have made a world separate from the original property. A fascinating and nuanced world where a hunky gremlin can find love through his toxic egomaniacal fetishistic behavior. And I love him and you for it!
And as an artist who sometimes dose fanart of popular properties (and used to be locked into a neich fandom) I understand thinking people only like your work because it’s “from that one thing”. It’s an awful feeling. But I can say with confidence that I like your work for the impeccable balance of story and kink that YOU specifically bring to YOUR work, and for that psychosexual nightmare of a beefcake you cooked up in your beautiful brain!!
You have made a unique and complex character, that at least one person out there can see themselves in! Which as far as I’m concerned means you are one hell of an artist!
With all the love a tired old cartoonist like me can give.
Keep up the amazing work.
A ton of us love Cas for Cas, and your art for you <3
Ps: I’m sorry that was long I’m just passionate, I don’t understand or really want to under bg3 but your art just got me though one of the worst months of my life, like fired from job loved one in the hospital bad, your horny and yet emotionally complex art is out here saving lives and doing gods work man.
wow, I honestly don't even know where to start responding to this so just... thank you, truly. As genuine as possible this means so much to me. Not ashamed to say I read this more than once today to get my mind off things so thank you so so much for taking the time to send this to me, it'll be on my mind for a while.💜
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elibean · 7 months
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Hi....If you don't mind, can I ask, what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....
no need to apologize! this is a great question, thank you for asking! i think i'll go with anime just 'cause it's easiest (i have a MAL and rank every series i watch from 1-10). i originally had movies in here but i think i'm gonna cut them out and just keep it to series and ovas. and "why do you love them" is an AWESOME question I never get! i don't know if i'll be able to explain myself well, but I'll try!
fullmetal alchemist ('03). why? this was pretty much my gateway anime. it's been over 10 years I believe since I've last seen any of it, so it's entirely possible that my opinion has since changed. but i definitely have nostalgia goggles on for it, and i know it is actually good, too haha
2. natsume yuujinchou (specifically seasons 6, 5, 4, and 3). why? some seasons of natsume i have rated higher than others, apparently. natsume is a special show. due to the nature of how long it is, there is the drawback that sometimes it feels like it repeats itself and tells similar stories. but even then it is just such a good story of found family and finding love after a life of strife, and it's just. very good. (i do think it should end soon though before it feels like it's just recycling old stories)
3. made in abyss. why? season 1 still stands out to me above the movie and 2. it was such a special experience. the art, the animation, the background art, the music, it all comes together to create such a fascinating world. the weak point would definitely be its characters, but even then everything else comes together so well that it doesn't really matter. it has one of the best first episodes of any anime (when the sun came up over orth and the music cued in I knew I was hooked) and I also adore season 1's ending; if the show never got a continuation, it could have ended right there and I would have been content (not a lot of other anime can say the same about their endings!).
4. steins; gate. why? it's also been a very long time since i've seen this one, so possible my opinion has changed. still, I remember being super interested after the first episode, and the following 12 that people tend to critique as being "slow" or a "slog" never really felt that way for me. there was always something fun and interesting going on. i compare this one with link click a lot, just because people tend to go the magica route and i firmly believe steins;gate is the better time travel show (though lc isn't over yet so maybe an unfair comparison. still it'd take a LOT for lc to reach anywhere near the heights of steins;gate to me). when okabe goes back over and over to try and save mayuri, i just remember being absolutely floored. really good stuff.
5. vinald saga. why? it's just such a well constructed story. and the author's comments about not wanting a world with war is so interesting, given how violent the first season is. it's really interesting to watch thorfinn grow and change (and i never understood the hate that he was too violent or annoying or a brat? he's just a kid who's lost everything, cut him some slack jeez). i love the last shot of season 1, corny as it is-- all the memories reflected on the dropping knife was great. and askeladd was one of the best villains i've ever seen. he's not even ~morally grey~ or anything; he's pretty strongly in the wrong, but his thinking and motivations and everything are so interesting and compelling. i don't think it's perfect; there are flaws for sure (i wasn't the biggest fan of how in s2 canute just. decides to turn his ships back after a small conversation with thorfinn lol) but it is very good.
6. this boy cuaght a merman. why? ok this one objectively does not deserve a 10. it's a 30minute ova about a boy falling in love with a merman. that's it. it's not incredible or amazing or ground breaking. buuuuuut it's my favorite soubi yamamoto ova and i adore soubi yamamoto and so she's getting a place on this list. she is responsible for animating, storyboarding, backgrounds, directing, etc etc everything in here, it's incredible (and she was only like 25, or something when she did it. fucking bananas). i love her please go check out her works (besides crystallization)
7. noragami. why? ok again probably not objectively THAT good, but this is one of the first anime that got me to read the manga, and here I am some 10 years later (ok a little less than 10 years because I didn't start reading the manga the year it started publishing, I think). noragami's MANGA is incredible and amazing and wonderful. but I do believe (much against the popular opinion amongst noragami manga readers) that the anime is also amazing, and YES that includes season 1. the crew behind it really loved the manga I feel (at least the director did, and there's proof for that) and adapted it faithfully and well. noragami is a story of found family and of turning your life and fate around, and it's very good.
8. she and her cat: everything flows. why? this one is only 4 episodes, 8 minutes each. it tells a story of a 20-something (actually she's still in college iirc) who lives on her own with her cat, and is trying to be an adult. but it's told from the cat's perspective. it's so sweet; the cat comments on how she "grooms herself" (brushes her hair, puts on her interview clothes) and "looks pretty" and things and it is just so great. i love the line (not a direct quote) "she opens that heavy door again today and heads out. on the other side of that door is a somewhat unforgiving, somewhat cruel world. but she's doing her best to learn to love that world. and i love her for that." just....so good (also the show made me cry)
9. yuru camp. why? second iyashikei on this list! SOL/iyashikei is actually my favorite genre of anime, generally speaking, but it can be hard to do it well. yuru camp ABSOLUTELY does it well. i read a commentary once ages ago, about how one of the great things about yuru camp is that the girls are allowed to just... be girls, and it always stuck with me. there's no fanservice, and these girls really feel like real characters who exist. there was another commentary (maybe same one?) about how rin is this introverted, more lonesome character, but she enjoys the solitude. but what's cool about yuru camp is she is never forced to change or become more extroverted; her friends accept her for who she is, nadeshiko will invite her out but not push her, and then sometimes she does go out! and she changes and becomes a bit more social, but never gives up solo camping. AND the more extroverted, outgoing character INSTEAD comes to embrace solo camping! what a cool idea, executed amazingly! so the characters are a strong point here, but the banter and camping is a lot of fun too. i still haven't watched the movie, but i'll get there eventually!
10. odd taxi. why? this one is 100% on the writing. it is so clever and quick-witted, it's a ton of fun to watch. i've never watched any other anime like it. the mystery/thriller aspects are a lot of fun too, and i remember reading reddit threads and theories on this one as it was airing. what was so cool is that they plant subtle hints that you can ABSOLUTELY catch if you have sharp eyes (i likely wouldn't have if it weren't for reading others' theories) and you can know things before characters do. lot of fun.
--
wow this was so much fun to write up! thank you so much for the question!
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bdbsvirtualjournal · 7 months
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A Presentation - 15/10/2023
For the possibility that someone will stumble upon my page, I want to write a short presentation or bio for the potential stranger, but also for me too since I never actually wrote about me. Or discuss me in any way outside my mind.
So, I'm B. , I'm 21 years old at the making of this page, and I live in Timisoara. I've always lived here and I actually really love my city. I don't really plan to move from here, definitely at least. It is a big city, but with a low density so it gives small towns vibes sometimes. It is like a compromise between the stability of small communities but it also has the opportunities for a good career. I am studying Telecommunications here at the Polytechnic University. Even though the field itself is nice and in the 3rd year the courses seem more interesting to me, I can't say that I'm deeply passionate or interested in this domain at large. It mostly sparks a passive curiosity, but it never evolved into something I see myself dedicating my free time. My interests revolve around humanities.
I am tall person with an overall strong build, I work out and cycle a lot, but I don't relate in any way to masculinity. I consider myself gender-queer, my relation with gender being quite complex. Not just on an identity basis, I have feminine features as well. For as much as I can remember, people always remarked my unusual traits. 'Your nails are so beautiful, you should paint them' or 'Did you put mascara on?' are some of the earliest I heard. But that's a discussion for another time.
My political and moral views about the world are deeply left wing. Since my childhood I always took an interest on the human and social parts of the world and history. I was always concerned with how people lived their lives, what was their routine and how did they got throughout the day, rather than focusing on strategic things like battles armies or heroes. Most of the literature I liked growing up was about the human condition.
I am also a Christian. I am an Eastern Orthodox Christian. I go to Church every Sunday, mostly because I am also an Altar boy. I like helping and being deep in my local community. I really like Theology and the history of the Church. It is really fascinating how smart people interpret the Holy Texts and how much meaning they extract from Them and how they created a big system around it. However I'm not a spiritual person, I can't say that I FEEL the divinity.
If I had to describe my "'personality" in a psychological (or pseudo at least) I'd say that I'm an introvert. I don't really like to be surrounded constantly by people. I like staying in house and putting time into my interests. I enjoy the time I spend alone and sometimes I need it like a it's a necessity. However I don't consider myself anti social in any aspect. I can get along with most people, form amicable relations with most people and I can entertain discussions, be them casual or on specific subjects, joking or serious. I also seek people that have similar interests as me. I seek real and genuine human connections, just like anyone else for that matter.
As for my hobbies and interests, I have a deep passion for arts, in special for literature, music and movies. I could talk about those all day. I also enjoy other forms of media such as animations and video games, but not that much as I used to do a while ago. I watch way too much YouTube vids. I also love animals, especially birds. I own a lot of pets and domestic animals.
In my spare time outside the house, I go to concerts. A lot of them. I know every venue in my city and some in others. If there's a concert, most likely I'm there or at least I know about it. There are some places that revolve around cultural stuff but not that many. Just some libraries, some art hubs and small cinemas. I'm also there from time to time. I will get more into what types of music and literature I like, but another time.
Overall I'd describe myself as man of contradictions and conflicting ideas. I study in STEM but my passion is in humanities. I am progressive person and I would describe myself as socialist and/or anarchist but I'm also a practicing Christian in one of the most conservative denominations. I think about my gender identity way more than most people do. I can get along with everyone and I rarely feel alone, and most of the time I can find someone to distract me from that feeling, but I always felt like an outsider who can't find that easily someone that TRULY gets everything. Even my city has contradictions. Even thought I like in a big city (at the outskirts of it indeed but still in the city) I live in a basically rural area and I have farm animals. I don't care about the concept of nationality and overall I hate nationalistic ideas. On the internet I've always adopted other nationalities and formed my personas around them (for example I pretended to be Hungarian on Facebook to trigger dumb Romanians). But I also feel attached to this place I the thought of me not being here scares me. I know that I will miss it.
While I do have all of this contradictions in my life, I don't feel emotionally affected by them, but I do want to explore them more and maybe learn something about myself, that's why I want to journal my thoughts more.
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nerves-nebula · 1 year
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Car wrapping sounds neat! Very niche haha. We were, for some reason? really set on becoming a book binder for a while, which idk if there even IS jobs for that anymore lol.
Yeah, I get you on the food thing. Due to circumstances we just.. don't feel hunger. like idk, it's weird. We also are kinda picky texture wise so we often fall into that autsim-food-vibes where we pick a food and eat almost only that for a week or so and then move onto something else. Mac and cheese is good but it can be a trigger for me unfortunately. The first 4 or 5 years of my life the only food I really had was mac and cheese LOL (you can laugh don't feel bad xD). I'd try frozen burritos if they didn't cost an arm and a leg lol
hmm so body sharing. Honestly it's kind of like being minorly dissassociated at all times? Like I'm usually the person in control of the body so it's more of a "there's two voices" sort of thing, but every once in a while my head partner gets control.
They are more of an influence? So like depending on how much they're there they can kind of influence how we function but they don't take control. They're more confident than I am and don't worry as much about what others think plus they care more about appearances so they'll try to make us look more put together. They have... better posture than I do so. it'd be nice if they came around more to help with that lmao.
It's weird though because it can feel like I have different levels of my own personality fluctuating, so sometimes I know I like certain things and sometimes I honestly don't know. I know logically I like chocolate, but depending on how much influence they have over the body we might not enjoy the taste if that makes sense? But apply it to more things. It's kinda messy but we've adapted.
We mostly are just like two heads in one body. When I'm really dissassociated the other guy can help out more, and it turns out they are really good at tests because I've actually done better when they're more in charge during tests than I would by myself xD. Downside is when we're super dissassociated they don't usually come out much so it's more like we're both trapped in a room together and we're vaguely seeing what's going on outside with the body.
Very odd to describe but it gets into derealization and depersonalization BUT the entire time we're internally vibing with each other (if it wasn't triggered by ptsd lol). We're just some silly guys living in the same head ig, like roommates but more extreme xD. Mental breakdowns are less jarring when you have a pal to hang out with. Great for distractions too, but sometimes neither of us are the impulse control lmao. We accidentally ended up collecting spoons found in the forest because of that haha
Oh I ADORE book binding. I love to make books. I love having something physical and weighty to hold once I've completed a project. I really want to print a book full of of my art/comics one day just to bind it. My college just bought a spiral binder too that we can use for free, so that's a TON of fun haha!
uhhh I'm trying to think of what else I eat but HONESTLY I can't remember. I like frozen pizza, I guess?
the mixing of your personalities is fascinating, the fact that you might dislike the taste of something you previously liked because the other guys got a different taste is so interesting. really kind of puts into perspective just how subjective experiences are, huh.
i've never been able to pin down what kind, but I've dealt with dissociation before but I don't think I've ever had the "trapped in my head watching whats happening" kind. At least your not alone? :')
your spoon collecting reminded me of something! i once brought in a spoon i found in a bush outside my house growing up and we cleaned it and started using it. it was slightly bigger than a normal spoon but not big enough to be a serving spoon. I miss that weird little utensil.
anyway, thanks for sharing and tell the other guy I said hi hah!
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mxvladdy · 3 years
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HI I LOVE YOUR WRITING! aaa sO I don't know if you still accept prompts but if you do could you do one with MC being fascinated by the brothers' demon forms and seeing the brothers react to them carefully inspecting their horns/wings/tails??
AHHHHH I love that you love it! And of course! :) Horns are my weak spot lmao. Hope you like!
Lucifer
Hmph. Isn’t ecstatic about you wanting to nose around in his business at first. No matter how touched starved he is, just the thought of your tiny human fingers exploring him…Well on the other hand-
At first, he thought you had some weird fetish for his demonic form. Wouldn’t be the first time a human had. But slowly he realizes you are genuinely just enamored with him. It strokes his ego sky high.
He loves it when you stroke and pet his horns. The bases of which are super sensitive. The amount of time you have spent just looking at the gold-tipped bone, he is certain you probably have memorized the number of chips and notches in them.
You start bringing ornaments and tassels for his horns. Things you made or found pretty when out shopping. He doesn’t wear them in public but likes it when you put them on him in private.
It takes him longer to let you get your hands on his wings though. Looking at the mess of his back isn’t pleasant for him.
He has a dust bath. He loves dusting, and when you help him. Ugh-it’s like his own little paradise.
He teaches you how to preen and find broken feathers to pluck. Your cooing over his soft feathers just makes him fluff up more.
He shows off his horns and wings just a touch more in public now.
Mammon
Hells yeah you can see his demon form. Why wouldn’t you want to? He is absolutely delighted to have you lovin’ all over him. He’s big on scenting.
He is especially proud of his wings, in all his forms. Leathery or feathery, they are his favorite part of his body. They are strong, reliable, and fast if he needs to protect you.
He makes sure you are extra careful about his horns though. The spirling columns of bone aren’t smooth like Lucifer’s and have a wicked sharp point on the tips. His horns grow a lot faster than his brothers. A lot of his horn upkeep is him shaving them down and oiling them.
You take delight in doing that for him. The keratin of his horns flakes quickly so you like to help with that too.
He doesn’t have much feeling around his horn area so you won’t get too many reactions from him. Now his wings~
He gets a kick out of watching you open and close his wings. You are mesmerized by his leather wings stretching to their full wingspan.
His wings look fragile upon closer inspection. You can feel the beats of his hearts through the thin membrane stretched over black bones. It almost makes you forget that you’ve seen him bludgeon demons to death with them before.
You’re so enamored with his wings you miss how flustered he gets when you trace your fingers around the base of his wings. Right where the limbs attach to his back. It’s a very tender spot that hurts most times when he touches it, but maybe because it’s you it feels really good.
Leviathan
He is apprehensive to have you inspect him at first.
Doesn’t have wings and is kinda jelly. But he has a bitchin’ tail, and you remind him often of it.
His tail is strong. A lot stronger than you originally thought. You can feel the slide and pull of thick muscle underneath his leathery skin when he swifts around.
It took you a while to get him to understand you are 1000% ok with his tail and horns being out, in public or private.
He notices that you can't keep your eyes and hands off his tail. While he never does it in front of his brothers he loves to pick you up with it. Your giggles and gasps of awe, while you dangle above him in his secure grasp, brings a huge smile to his face.
He has the most strenuous care routine out of all the brothers. His tail sheds a lot and dries out easily. It is usually a very intimate affair. Lucky for you, he likes you.
He shows you how to use his dry brush to sluff off the dead skin from his tail and scaly parts of his back. It's therapeutic to him. He talks about his newest hyper fixation while you brush and pet his tail.
His horns are a bit more persnickety. They are made up of a delicate ecosystem of coral and sea vegetation. It’s a beautiful vivid array of purple, pink, and blues. Henry and schools of smaller fish make little homes in it when Levi is in his tank.
It has to be kept moist and landscaped or it gets overgrown. He has a knack for aquatic horticulture and gives you a chance to learn too.
It naturally changes size and color based on the Devildom seasons. Your favorite displays are during the warmer seasons.
You buy little tank ornaments to decorate his horns to post on devilgram from time to time. It gets so many likes he gets so excited.
He wears your work proudly, even if it’s not up to his usual standard. His water monster brethren are jealous of the attention, and that’s what matters most.
Satan
If you bring up your interest in a scientific or educational manner, he is more willing to share. He has had far too many run-ins with witches and humans vying for him to be comfortable flaunting his demon form.
As the only born devil out of the group you have to be extra careful with his horns and tail. The bony structure of them is like fine sandpaper. Rough, course and far too abrasive for your tinder human skin.
You have to wear gloves when handling his horns and tail. He apologizes a lot about it. It angers him that he is the one brother that has to be so careful around you.
You really don’t mind though. Even through the thick leather gloves you feel the pulsing heat of his magic. You like the tingling feeling of his magic through your gloves, it’s like licking a battery.
He doesn’t need maintenance on his horns and tail as much as the others. But his horns do fall off like deer antlers.
He gets really irritated when it’s shedding season. The itching and throbbing of his horns when they are ready to fall off is maddening.
You always know when it is horn season due to the deep gouges in the stone walls around the house. You help him though this by scratching around the bases of his horns. It feels so good to have it scratched, and it’s 10x better when it’s not him.
Normally he would just dispose of his horns when they fall off or use them for alchemical purposes. Now, he gives some of them to you. You collect them and have turned a few sets into some lovely pieces of art in his opinion.
Asmodeus
Very much like Mammon- who wouldn’t love his horns and wings? He loves them, so obviously everybody should.
Absolutely eats up your praise and curious touches. He shows you the best places to pet or stroke.
His wings are leathery like Mammons but 1000x more sensitive all-round. He can sense air currents with them, so sneaking up on him to touch a wing is out of the question. As much as you would like to.
Loves see you try though. Will fake being surprised when you come at him from behind to lovingly touch a wing.
He shows you the best places to touch and examine his wings and horns. His smaller set of wings have this one spot underneath their pit that is super ticklish. When you find it, exploit it. He has the best laugh.
He admits to you that he dyes his horns. What can he say? Pink is the best color and his horns just look that much more fabulous in it.
You can convince him to try different colors, but only if you help him dye them. Starts matching colors and outfits with you and his horn color of the month.
His cleaning and maintenance routine he likes to do himself. Sorry! Nothing against you, but he is too meticulous to ask for help. But please stay and watch!
He shows off a lot more when cleaning and moisturizing his horns and wings. Stretching them out, or making sure his horns are shiny enough to catch the light of his room.
Absolutely soaks up for enamored gasps and wide eyes stares.
Beelzebub
Just shrugs when you ask to see his wings and horns.
Of course, he doesn't mind you touching them. He just finds it odd. Kinda forgot that it's not a normal occurrence in the human realm.
He has no issues with you touching or rubbing on his horns. He doesn't have any feeling in them anyway.
But, unfortunately, you can only look at his wings. The cuticle is very fragile so he can't just flare his wings out whenever he feels like the others.
You find the hard casing that protects his wings just as fascinating though. The iridescent sheen of it is mesmerizing. Your eyes can't pick up all the colors that it gleams, but it's still beautiful regardless.
You have a hard time getting any of the shell bits when they shed. Beel normally eats them and he is much faster than you.
But he will temper himself and save a few for you once he figures out why you are pouting.
His paper-thin shell casing resembles stained glass when you hold it up to the light. You have taken to making a large wind chime out of the shedding of the brother's horns and wings. His chitin is the perfect addition to give the slightly macabre piece some color.
He-and the other brothers find it kinda odd that you collect essentially garbage to them, but they chalk it up to a weird human quirk.
If it makes you happy-*shrugs*
Belphegor
Like his twin, doesn’t get the hype around it. But, if it means you’ll be spending more time with him then he won’t complain.
You pet his tail a lot when he is sleeping. His tail is soft and fluffy. It wraps around you while he slumbers, locking you in place by his side.
He wakes you up by tickling your nose with the tuft of his tail. He teases you when it makes you sneeze.
If you thought his bedhead was bad, wait till you see him struggling with the tangles at the tip of his tail.
You offer to help comb it out. Maybe even convince him to invest in a good bottle of conditioner. He takes you along to buy it and lets you choose the scent.
He has a penchant for cucumber and melon scents when it comes to his detergent and pillow sprays so you keep to that realm.
He cannot express how much he doesn’t care about upkeep so if you want to brush his tail and examine his horns go to town, means he doesn’t have to do it.
Belphie gets addicted quickly to you doting on his form. He sleeps harder and better after a session with you brushing his tail or rubbing at his horns.
You’ve learned just how to massage his scalp and where to scratch around his horns to help him fall asleep. He doesn't realize he does it himself as a self-soothing mechanism until you bring it up one night.
When you hit the sweet spots at the base of his tail or horns he can’t control the twitching and movements of his tail.
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A Little Too Much II Draco Malfoy x Reader, Theodore Nott x Reader II Part 2 of 2
Summary: Draco has to watch how you fall in love with someone else. (18+)
PART 1
Words: 2.5k Pairings: Draco Malfoy x Reader, Theodore Nott x Reader, post war Warnings: none except for angst
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Theodore Nott falls in love with you on a rainy sunday afternoon in his fourth year of Hogwarts.
He doesn’t see it coming, he doesn’t expect it.
He is on his way to the Great Hall when he sees you running inside the castle - completely drenched, pressing a book to your chest. You leave behind a trail of raindrops and your laughter echoes off the stone walls. He has heard it a thousand times before; in the common room after classes, during quidditch training, muffled through the palm of your hand in the library. He is familiar with the way it swells and makes you gasp for air the longer it goes on, and knows how you tear up. But this time, something’s changed. Your laughter is ringing in his ears a little too loud and his heart suddenly starts beating a little too fast. 
He is so captivated by the scene that he doesn’t see how Draco appears behind you and takes your hand. Yet, when lightning strikes behind you, Theo knows that he is lost.
***
Two months later, Theo sits next to you in Defence against the Dark Arts. For the past weeks, you haven’t left his mind. Not once. Theo doesn’t know what’s happening to him, doesn’t quite understand. He’s only fourteen, he’s never been in love, and the way you overtake his mind, body, and soul frightens him.
Now, he’s here, smelling your shampoo and he feels dizzy. He can’t stop looking at you from the side, fascinated by you. He notices the little wrinkle that appears between your brows when you concentrate, the way you play with your quill absentmindedly, how you smile at him from time to time when Moody says something remotely funny. Not that Theo is listening to him.
“Are you going to the Yule Ball?” The question leaves his mind before he can think about it.
You stop writing and look at him. “Of course.”
His heart beats a little faster.
“With Draco.”
A kick to the stomach. That’s what it feels like. Theo can’t breathe for a second and when he regains his composure, he doesn’t know what to say. He hesitates, maybe a little too long - he’s worried you’ll notice. But you don’t. There’s a spark in your eyes and your smile is warm and bright as you continue: “He asked me. I was hoping he would but you know … I thought he’d rather go with Pansy.” You lower your eyes.
Theo stares at you. Draco. His best friend. You. He swallows.
“I mean … why would he want Pansy when he can have you instead.”
***
Draco doesn’t deserve you.
For Theo, this is as clear as the fact that the sun will come up tomorrow morning.
He doesn’t deserve you and he never has. You feel like a sunny day in spring - warm and bright and colorful - and he’s a hailstorm. He fights and is loud and gets in trouble - trouble that you always end up saving him from.
But you still fall in love with him. So hard and fast that Theo can do nothing but stand aside and watch. When you kiss him at the Yule Ball, something inside of Theo cracks. A crack that only grows wider when you start dating officially.
Draco often comes to Theo, talking about you, and Theo wants to scream. Yet, he doesn’t. He listens quietly, he pretends to be happy, he swallows down his guilt. He wants to be happy for his best friend. In a way, he is happy. He simply wishes that it wouldn’t be you Draco talks about. He’s still convinced that Draco doesn’t deserve you but he makes you feel so good. Theo sees how your eyes light up when Draco comes, how you hang onto his every word. And he also sees how something changes within Draco. You make him better even though you shouldn’t be burdened with such a task.
In the end, who is Theo to judge? Who is he to end your happiness, to hurt you?
So, Theo stands aside and watches.
Watches you go on dates in Hogsmeade and drink butterbeer together. Smiles when Draco tells him, he confessed his love for you in fifth year. Looks away when the two of you drunkenly make out in the Slytherin common room after a party. Bites his tongue as Draco breaks in the sixth year and you hold him, desperately trying to fix him.
Theo dates other girls during all these years - a pathetic attempt to forget you. It works from time to time, at least for a few months. But then you come down the stairs or laugh at one of his jokes during Quidditch training and it hits him all over again.
There are occasions where he wants to tell you and confess but never pulls through. He can’t do this to you, to Draco. You’re happy together and the question of whether or not Draco deserves you, is yours and only yours to answer.
So, Theo stands aside and watches - and breaks a little more each day.
***
It happens slowly.
Theo doesn’t know when it starts but something inside of you begins to shift after the war when you all return to Hogwarts. He notices how you watch him during meals, how your eyes linger a little too long. You flinch when he accidentally brushes your hands in Potions or lean in a little too close during study sessions.
A small, tiny seed of hope begins to grow in him.
He tries to kill it. Tells himself that he is imagining all of it - until one day, all of you sit in the common room. Pansy keeps talking about one of her embarrassing dates and he makes a comment - he can’t even recall what he says - and you laugh. Loud. Too loud. Theo turns his head, the smirk still plastered on his face, and your eyes lock - and suddenly, he knows and the seed grows into a flower.
A flower that grows a little taller each day. With each smile you send him, each touch that lingers on a little too long. It grows inside of him, its roots wrapping around his heart, and he barely notices how Draco pulls away from him. Not even after the talk in the library does he see how their friendship is slowly coming to an end.
Or maybe he simply doesn’t want to see it.
Because the guilt that washed over him from time to time when you smile at him across the classrooms, threatens to drown him. He rather pretends that everything is fine. Everything will be fine. Everything has to be fine.
So he lets the flower grow and grow and grow until the night of the party, his lips crash against yours, and the flower has turned into a garden.
***
Theo paces up and down his dorm room. His mind is restless, his thoughts keep circling back to the night before. The kiss replays in his head over and over. The way your lips felt against his, the smell of your shampoo, the way you tasted … Theo stops in the middle of the room and touches his lips with his fingers as if that will help bring the memory to life even more.
You had left abruptly, practically ran away from him while he was left in the bathroom, out of breath, confused. He had dreamed of this moment for so long and now that it actually happened it felt like just that … a dream. He stayed in the bathroom for a few more minutes until a group of Ravenclaw boys stumbled in, trying to find a nearest toilet but failing. One of them vomited right in front of Theo.
When Theo stepped outside again, his head still buzzing, he saw Draco a few meters away, looking in the direction he assumed you went. And then he turned his head and the two friends stared at each other. The bitter realization in Draco’s eyes flipped Theo’s stomach. He lost him right in that moment.
Something will change today, Theo is certain of that. He saw it in your eyes this morning and it’s the reason he is hiding out in his room. He skips class, misses lunch and then right before he starts debating whether or not he should attend dinner, there’s a knock on his door.
His heart stops.
The door opens and it’s you.
Theo gets up from his bed at lightning speed. “Hi,” he says.
“Hi,” your voice is low, almost shy. He sees how you pick at your thumb and instantly knows you feel the same way he does: nervous. In fact, his heart - which momentarily stopped - is now beating so hard, he’s scared that it might jump out of his chest any second now.
“You want to come in?” Theo opens the door a little wider.
You have been in his dorm room before. Countless times. But usually, Draco would accompany you. Sit with you on Theo’s bed as you played a round of cards or shared a bottle of stolen liquor.
You hesitate for a second but then nod. “Yes, thank you.”
Theo catches a whiff of your shampoo as you walk past him and as he inhales the familiar scent, he realizes what you must have done. Truly realizes. If you would have talked to Draco and sorted things out, you wouldn’t be standing here, in the middle of his small dorm room, looking so tiny and lost. And you certainly wouldn’t be crying.
The tears begin to fall and Theo is by your side in a millisecond. Instinctively, he puts his arms around you, pulling you into a hug. Like he had done a million times before. But this time, you lean into him a little too much. “Hey, hey, it’s alright,” he says repeatedly as holds you close.
He feels his shirt becoming wet with your hot tears and closes his eyes. His heart breaks for you. He never intended to hurt you, he never wanted to see you cry, you are the last person in this castle who deserves to be in so much pain.
“It’s over, I-I … it’s over,” you mumble against his chest, your body shaken by sobs. “I ended it. I …”
“I’m sorry,” Theo whispers. And he means it. “I’m so sorry.”
“I … he … I don’t know …”
“Shh,” Theo makes. Then he slowly guides you over to his bed. “Come sit down, it’ll be fine.” Empty words but he doesn’t know what else to say.
You cry for what feels like hours. Theo holds you the whole time, he doesn’t say anything and you are grateful for it. After a while, your breathing calms and your sobs fade away until you finally pull away from him. Your eyes are red and puffy. Theo reaches for a tissue from his nightstand.
“What happened?”, he asks when he hands it to you.
A dumb question and the look you send him, proves that. He grinds his teeth with embarrassment. “How did he take it?”, he then offers a different question. One that he means. Draco loves you and he must be shattered right now. Theo can only imagine what is happening in the dorm room down the hallway. Is Blaise with him? Theo should be with him right. His best friend. But instead he’s here with you.
Welcome back, guilt.
You sniffle again as you dry your tears. “What do you think? He’s … devastated. The last time I saw him like that …”, your breathing began to speed up again and you looked up to the ceiling, trying to gather your thoughts. Theo watched you, his face slightly distorted. “I had to end it, I …”, you continued. “I couldn’t go on pretending.” Then your eyes find his. “Am I imagining it?”
Theo blinks. “Imagining what?”
“This. Us.”
He stares at you - and although he had guessed it during all those weeks, had hoped and dreamed, you just gave him the final confirmation. A smile tugs at the corners of his lips, a little too bright, a little too happy, a little too much. “No,” he then says, trying to chasten himself. “No, you’re not imagining anything.”
“Fuck.”
He lets out a laugh. A short, breathy, relieved one. You look at him and he can’t read your expression. He can only imagine the whirlwind of emotions and thoughts that must happen inside of you right now.
“I don’t know what to do now,” you whisper.
Theo’s smile leaves as he leans forward to take your hand. “You grieve.” He pauses. “Cry, scream, whatever you need to do to cope with the loss of your relationship. Figure out if breaking up was the right thing to do.”
A part of him hates himself for saying that. Why can’t he just swoop in and kiss you like he did the night before? Because it would be wrong. He knows that. If the two of you have any chance of surviving the aftermath of your relationship, you have to be by yourself for a while.
“That’s not the answer I expected.” You frown.
Theo chuckles. “That’s not the answer I want to give,” he replies truthfully.
“What answer do you want me to give then?”
“I want to tell you that you should just forget all about him and kiss me,” he says softly and looks at your hands in his. “We can’t though. Not like this. I need you to want this. To fully want this with all your heart. Y/N, I’ve been in love with you for so many fucking years and I need you to know that this, me, is what you want.” He doesn’t look you in the eyes when he says this but he feels you flinch at the confession. So you truly never noticed. “This will blow up everything. I’m losing my best friend right now. And you … you lost your first love. You need to …” He swallows. “If some time has passed and you still … you’re still sure of this, then I’m here. I promise you. I will be here.”
When he says that, he finally looks up at you again. Your face is soft, confused, but there’s the faint shadow of a smile on your lips.
“Have you always been so wise?”, you ask him, teasingly.
He shrugs. “Hm, I have my moments.”
The shadow turns into a full smile.
Fuck, Theo thinks, fuck, you’re so beautiful. And he knows, just like he did all these years ago, that he is lost.
“Let’s go, have dinner.”
***
A/N: I hope you liked it! I appreciate any kind of feedback <3
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chainofclovers · 3 years
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Ted Lasso 2x8 thoughts
I am so lucky that the creators of Ted Lasso decided to make this entire show specifically for me. #blessed
If last week felt like a bit of breathing room (albeit tense, poignant, character-progressing breathing room) with distinct narrative lines, this week’s episode was a chaotic yet tightly-written swirl of pain and hope and sadness! No neat subject headers for this one, y’all. Just my brain and heart in the inadequate form of a bulleted list. It is the medium available to me at this time.
I am going to remember the moment when Ted calls Sharon and tells her his father killed himself for the rest of my life.
(I could say a bunch of stuff about his face and what he says and how he tries to hide his tears from Beard right after and how insanely much I adore this character and ahhhhhhhh but I’m just going to leave that scene there in our collective memories.)
Jamie. JAMIE. Higgins has given some great advice about love on this show, but his musings about his up-and-down relationship with his own father were not helpful in the context of Jamie’s dad, who is an abusive piece of shit. I really adore that all of the main AFC Richmond staff members are realistically a bit hit-or-miss with their advice and life philosophies (some are mostly miss this season, of course).
And I am completely in awe of the moment when Jamie punches his father. The way he just stands there after Beard kicks his dad out of the locker room. The way you can hear a pin drop. And Roy—Roy who is learning in so many areas of his life about his influence on people, learning that the things he needs aren’t necessarily the same as the things other people need—is the one to cross the room and hug him. Hold him, really, with the tenderness Ted used when he hugged Rebecca outside the gala in 1x4. God.
I’ve thought a lot about how s1 was about giving people a soft place to land. There’s always an angel there when you need one. There’s always an opportunity to be kind. If you look for someone, you find them. If you look for the good in someone, you find the good. And as everyone works through their individual journeys in s2, that can’t always be the case anymore. But there are still so many moments of angels on this show, and it’s not about chance and serendipity and fate [not that it was about that in s1] but about the effort it takes to become someone who can be there for someone else. Or who can be there for yourself. I’m so proud of Jamie for physically fighting back against his father. I’m so proud of Roy for being the one who recognized what Jamie needed.
I have every feeling in the world about how Ted is almost totally frozen both times (s1 and s2) he witnesses Jamie’s father abusing him. In s1, he was still there for Jamie after, and I have every reason to believe he’ll be there for Jamie after this incident as well, but that frozen stance HURTS. He’s in so deep with his pain about his own father that it’s like he physically cannot snap out of it to act in the moment. It seems entirely outside of his control, and it breaks my heart, because Ted wants so badly to be a good father, a good coach, a good friend, a good partner, a good patient. He’s there for people in all kinds of ways, even in his current less-than-capable state. He takes care of Sharon post-concussion and even gets her a new bike! During the disastrous match at Wembley his coaching is ineffectual and everything is chaos but he’s the last one standing on the pitch! But this really awful thing keeps happening to Jamie and Ted is just…frozen in the face of it. Like one of those nightmares where you’re running in place.
The frozen-in-place nightmare also kind of applies to the way the total separation between Ted and Rebecca feels, too. I have never for a moment doubted the writers’ intentions in setting these characters up as soulmates on parallel journeys, and I’m actually really digging (on a story level) how disconnected they are right now. It is IMPRESSIVE that their absence in each other’s lives feels like such a glaring loss, one we cannot forget even as there are so many other things happening onscreen. It is 100% not just shipper goggles making me process information about Ted while thinking about Rebecca and information about Rebecca while thinking about Ted. I know there are a lot of really angry and frustrated people in the fandom right now (both T/R shippers and T/R antis and non-shipping fans who don’t get why s2 is different from s1) and while I understand being frustrated by choices characters make, and frustrated by the feelings the show makes us feel that we just want to feel more of or less of, I continue to agree with pretty much every narrative choice happening right now.
Agreeing with the narrative like this?! This is such a unique experience for me as a viewer—to feel like I’m on a ride that is at once absolutely wild and incredibly sensible and well-crafted, and to feel simultaneously completely invested and anticipatory and speculative but also totally willing to trust where it goes. I long for Ted and Beard to really talk. I long for Ted and Rebecca to stop missing each other. I long for Roy to have a serious conversation with Ted about what’s happening with him. I long for Keeley to find a vocation, something that drives her beyond her projects. I long for so many things! But I wouldn’t long for them if this show was less good. If the show was less good, I wouldn’t have a wish list a mile long because I wouldn’t be so attuned to the details and potential lurking in every scene. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SHOW, I CANNOT HANDLE IT, I LOVE IT SO MUCH.
(To that end, a great deal of the Ted Lasso tag and so many Twitter reactions reactions to the show feel super stressful right now and I am kind of just trying not to look?! I love this fandom so much because of the amazing conversations that happen and because of brilliant fic and because there are some awesome people I never would have encountered were it not for this show. That little bubble is wonderful and I’d stay in this fandom no matter what in order to keep experiencing those things. But fans’ catastrophic reactions to every little thing that happens, every little choice a character makes that isn’t the “perfect” choice? The takeaway that the writers—on this show of all shows—wake up in the morning ready for another day of torturing shippers rather than another day of writing a beautiful story they genuinely want to write? I do not enjoy those parts at all. I would like to opt out of those parts. I’m having such a magical experience watching this show and talking about this show and listening about this show and writing about this show with a variety of people who feel all kinds of ways. I truly wish I could somehow transfer the energy of this experience onto all the people who are hating it right now. I don’t mind at all that people are having vastly different reactions to this show and are sharing their honest feelings, including the really angry ones (I can appreciate something and disagree with it!), and I get that sometimes the language of fannish reactions is intentionally, ironically hyperbolic. But there feels like this very serious trend of people legitimately thinking writers on this show are targeting shippers and have lost respect for their characters, and I just feel like an alien from another planet when I see that stuff. I guess I just feel like people make art because they want their art to be visible to other people and to themselves, but that doesn’t typically involve specifically catering to or torturing a subset of that audience?)
I am more fascinated by Sharon Fieldstone than ever before. I have been running through every single action with her and Ted so many times. The confirmation that she’s living in club-provided housing (that could not look more different from Ted’s club-provided flat). Ted clearly noticing the many bottles. Sharon’s face while she tries to casually recycle them. (Sharon could legitimately have a more problematic relationship with alcohol than Ted does, and I find that extremely interesting and am very curious to find out what happens there.) Sharon leaving him voice notes while she’s concussed, probably because she’d been thinking about him shortly before the accident. The way Ted calls her and does all the funny voices and it’s not frustrating like all the times he uses his silliness and allusions to deflect during their prior conversations because this time, those behaviors are just a part of him showing care for another person. The way they stretch each other, and Ted is still wrong about the things he’s been wrong about, but they both grow all the same.
While it is pretty much impossible for me to imagine that this show would include an actual romantic relationship between Ted and Sharon (it would be beyond unethical even if they could write it well, and Sharon in particular is so professional and committed to her work, and it would erase so much of the powerful message about the importance of seeking therapy from a professional who is not your friend or partner, and I would totally hate it), watching this episode was the first moment I had this queasy little feeling that it’s possible that Ted could end up developing really complicated feelings about Sharon since, at this point, he’s been honest with her about things he’s hardly spoken about before and you can really form an attachment to people you feel safe with in a new way. (I mean, I’m sure Michelle knows what happened with Ted’s father, but I’m not even certain if Beard does.) He’s so broken right now, and Sharon is such a great person and so different from anyone else in his life (even though Rebecca is also different, and Beard is also different, and Roy is also different, and so on), that I could see things getting really fuzzy for him. I continue to have faith in the way the storylines on this show are handled. I’m just. Putting this here.
(In saying that, though, I also wanna make it really clear that I don’t just automatically assume anytime a new female character is introduced that they’re going to end up becoming a romantic complication. Like, Phoebe is allowed to have a teacher who is an attractive woman and AFC Richmond is allowed to have a sports psychologist who is an attractive woman and Keeley is allowed to talk to Jamie Tartt without it threatening what she has with Roy and all these people can exist as human beings without the introduction of romantic drama.)
Isaac gives every player one haircut per season, OH MY GOD. The JOY during the haircut scene. YES.
KEELEY AND REBECCA. Their text thread. The affirming video call right before Rebecca goes into the restaurant. The way Keeley sits all snuggled up against Rebecca in her office.
I was pretty thoroughly spoiled for the Sam and Rebecca plot through 2x8, and I was bracing for something far more problematic and tortured than what happens in this episode. The words I would use to describe their scenes: awkward, cute, cringy, and understandable. There are a million reasons why this relationship isn’t sustainable, but I felt completely understanding of both their choices here. This show has a lot of thesis statements, but I keep going back to the idea from 2x1 that there are people who enter your life to help you get to the next point, and I think it’s entirely possible that Sam and Rebecca will mutually be that for each other.
I find comparisons between Rupert and Rebecca super upsetting. There are absolutely meaningful things to say about the irony of ending up in a situation with an uncomfortable resemblance to certain taboo elements of an ex’s situation. But that ex is abusive and manipulative and cruel and Rebecca has exhibited NONE of those behaviors, and it makes me really sad to think that people feel that the writers on this show have betrayed Rebecca in giving her this storyline.
As always, I reserve the right to keep blathering about this show. I’ve had a headache for a couple of days, but my head is also so full of 2x8 thoughts that I couldn’t keep them in even if the circumstances for writing this were not ideal. I kind of hate that I’ve included frustrated fandom thoughts within the analysis of what I felt was an absolutely gorgeous, complicated, heartbreaking, near-perfect episode of television, but if ya can’t be a little dramatic on your own tumblr while you’re feeling raw and under the weather, where can ya?
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minor-solemnity · 3 years
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hi omg i love you so much!!!! every time i see you post i get so excited!!!!! if requests are still open can you please write over protective tom! i'm a simp for tom x reader when he is super protective over her! thank you😘😘
Eee, thank you! You’re the sweetest omg <3 I really hope you enjoy this! (We all simp for super protective Tom, don’t we? I definitely do)
Tag List: @naps-and-lemons @jinxqsu @riddles-wifey @cakesarecute @mostlynonsense
The Dark Forest
“Stand up for me, and stay close now.” You follow his instructions, the basket and the flowers lying forgotten at your feet. There is something about the way Tom’s holding himself, his back is a straight line of tension, his shoulders are taught, the grip on his wand rigid. He looks like he’s ready for a fight.
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The Forbidden Forest is a strange and remarkable place. From afar, it looks like a solid wall of black that fades into hazy mist regardless of the time of day. You’ve always held a certain fascination with the forest, spending a lot of your free time edging the perimeter and peering in through the thicket, trying to get a glimpse of what lies within. You’d given up Care of Magical Creatures as an elective when you had learnt that Professor Kettleburn had made it quite clear to you that he had no plan to ever lead students inside. It had been one of your favourite things to complain about in fourth year, and your secret hope that you’d one day find an excuse to venture beyond the borders.
You suppose the phrase be careful what you wish for was penned for situations such as the one you find yourself in now.
You trudge along the narrow path, one hand gripping your wand and the other holding onto the wicker basket that Professor Kettleburn had given you to collect the stella syriaca flowers before sending you and Tom off into the forest. The only light source you have is the lumos you’ve cast to guide you through the forest and the pale, white-blue light your wand emits turns the forest into a strange imitation of nature. In this light, at this moment, you can almost convince yourself that the trees and the undergrowth are abstractions of nature, an impressionist’s depiction of what a forest might look like.
This in itself isn’t a problem - you’re not so easily scared that the dark and unfamiliar are frightening in themselves. The problem is that you’re fairly certain that you’re being followed. Not that you’re going to mention this particular concern to Tom. He’s already been dragged out to the Forbidden Forest unnecessarily because of you, you don’t want to annoy him with your paranoid imagination. “Tom, do you have any idea where we are?” You ask, trying to keep your voice and calm. You don’t want him thinking that you’re scared, not when it’s your fault that you’re both in this mess.
“If the directions that Kettleburn gave us are to be trusted, we should be nearly at the clearing,” He responds, and unlike you, he doesn’t sound like he’s pretended not to be scared. He just sounds unbothered by the situation, like this is as normal as a trip to the library or a walk around the lake. He glances down at you and frowns slightly as he takes in your clenched fists and tight expression. In the light of the lumos, his concerned expression turns sinister, strange shadows forming under his eyes and distort his usually beautiful features into something otherworldly and dangerous. When he talks though, his voice is soothing and calm, “Are you alright? I would have thought that you, of all people, would enjoy this particular punishment.” You hum in response, unwilling to voice your current thoughts but unwilling to lie either. Lying never works well with Tom anyway - his talent for spotting lies is as good as his talent for the art itself.
“I’m just sorry that I dragged you into this mess,” You murmur, which isn’t a lie. You are sorry that he’s had to give up his evening to escort you into the forest. “You shouldn’t have to do this just because I was being an idiot.” And the fact that this is essentially all your fault rankles you immensely. The issue is… Well, the issue is that you don’t really have anyone other than yourself to blame. No. No, that’s not entirely true. You can definitely blame the school for your current situation; it’s insane that they would send students out into the Forbidden Forest at night unaided and alone as a punishment. Professor Seprenta’s petty desire to take out her frustrations on her students by sending them into potentially perilous places is nothing to do with you. But the circumstances leading up to your detention?
Well, that’s all you.
You wish you could pass the blame but frustratingly you can’t. You decided all by yourself that it would be a good idea to sneak out after curfew to practise summoning circles. It’s also your fault that you’d (stupidly) chosen an empty classroom that just so happened to be next to Seprenta’s office and had forgotten to cast a silencing charm. She’d found you, chalk dust up to your elbows, scattering bay leaves, lavender, and mandrake roots in the four corners of the room.
Needless to say, she hadn’t been impressed, and you’re still not entirely sure if it’s because she caught you out after curfew or if it’s because Seprenta has a weird grudge against any magic that doesn’t involve the direct use of a wand. Either way, it hardly matters now. What matters is that you had been landed in detention and Tom is the one who volunteered to watch over you, ostensibly to make sure that you didn’t skive off, but in reality, you know that it’s because he doesn’t like the idea of you venturing off into the forest alone and without protection.
Next to you, Tom stills and grabs your shoulder, using his leverage to turn you in place until you’re face to face. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t take responsibility for my own actions, it’s terribly narcissistic of you.” He says and despite the insulting nature of his words, you find yourself reassured. Tom is… not the best at kind words and sweet nothings, not unless he’s employing them to get what he wants that is. When he’s being honest, he has a tendency towards bluntness that borders on rude. It says a lot about his feelings towards you that he is rarely charming and sycophantic. “If I hadn’t wanted to come with you, I wouldn’t have, so please, save your guilt for when you need it.”
With a small, weak laugh you nod, “I’ll keep that in mind… Thank you.” Even in the alien lighting, the small smile that lifts Tom’s lips is pleased and soft and maybe a little surprised. The fact that he so rarely hears honest thanks is more than a little heartbreaking. The pair of you continue forwards, Tom leading the way and you following close behind, ever conscious of the… thing watching from the shadows.
You’d first noticed the thing about twenty or so minutes into your exploration of the forest - a silent shadow, no bigger than a bulldog, that flickered in and out of existence in your peripheral vision. You’d not paid it much attention, to begin with, there were plenty of strange things that lived in the forest, after all, and you’d been confident in your assessment that the professors wouldn’t actually put you in the way of any real harm. That confidence has diminished the further in you’ve gone, even with Tom by your side. Now, when you catch a glimpse of it, the shadow looks bigger - maybe the size of a large sheep and a lot more defined. It melts into the darkness whenever you try to get a better look, but you’re fairly sure that it’s more solid than it had been when you’d first seen it.
You tell yourself you’re being paranoid, that the stories the ghosts like to tell you about what goes on in the forest at night have finally gotten to you, but the longer you walk, the more certain you are that there is something in the shadows. “…Tom? Tom, I think something’s following us.”
“I’d be surprised if there wasn’t, darling. You know as well as I do that these woods are alive with more than just birds and trees.” His words are not at all comforting and you find yourself growing annoyed with his flippancy. What you might lack in foresight, you make up for in common sense and your senses are telling you to pay closer attention to the shadows that encroach and creep and linger all around you.
“Tom, I’m being serious. Something is watching us.” He must pick up on the vaguely panicked edge to your words because he stops again and flicks his wand in a complicated motion and a vibrant flame erupts from the tip, floating just above your heads. You give yourself a moment to marvel at his ability before the matter at hand takes precedence and you cast around to try and catch sight of whatever it is that you’ve been seeing. “It was… It was right behind us,” You say, scanning the trees for any sight of the thing. Whatever it is, it’s nowhere to be found. “I swear it was here.”
He hums in response, and when you look at him, you can tell that he’s sceptical. Still, he sends the ball of flame in the direction that you’re pointing and the light seems to reverberate around the dark forest, revealing leaves and branches and thick patches of undergrowth but no moving shadow. Satisfied, he flics his wand again the flame extinguishes. “Keep an eye out - if you think you see something again, tell me.” You nod and bite your lip, pressing a little closer to his side as you continue your trek. You feel like a small child, huddled under your blankets to hide yourself from the darkest shadows in your bedroom. Fear is a funny thing, it’s an almost tangible emotion, prickling the back of your neck and sticking to you like sand on wet skin. Still, you’re almost at the clearing and then all you need to do is pick the flowers and get out.
The stella syriaca flowers only bloom at night, the tiny flowers growing in spherical clusters. Under the glow of your wand, they blossom pearlescent and delicate, like miniature moons rising from the forest floor. You set the basket down and begin to pick the flowers, careful not to crush the petals as Tom watches over you. “You don’t fancy helping?” You call over your shoulder and somewhere above you, Tom breathes out a huff of laughter.
“I hardly see why I should - this is your punishment, is it not?” He counters, wry humour coating his words and you roll your eyes but laugh nonetheless. Now that you’re in the clearing, you don’t feel so afraid, the knowledge that you’ll soon be out of the forest bolstering your confidence. Silence falls upon you and you get lost in the monotony of plucking the flowers, the repetitive actions lulling you into a daze so much so that you don’t immediately notice the rustling in the trees towards the edge of the clearing or the way that Tom’s posture tenses and his eyes turn to slits.
You startle when his hands brush the top of your head, and you look up at from where you’re kneeling on the ground to see what the problem is. Tom looks… He doesn't look scared, which you think is probably a good thing, but he does look agitated. His expression is shuttered window, no light or levity flickers behind the darks of his eyes, no ironic smile curling his lips. You only ever see this side of him when someone displeases him in a particularly grievous manner and he’s never looked at you with that cold blankness that reminds you of ice storms and black tar. You spare a thought for his enemies because you imagine you’d probably drop down dead in an instant if he were to ever turn this particular expression on you.
When he talks, his voice is tight, “What did you think you saw earlier?”
“A… I don’t really know—” Tom makes a low, irritated sound in the back of his throat and the hand that’s resting on your head tightens slightly. “—It was like a moving shadow out of the corner of my eye. It disappeared whenever I tried to look at it, but I think it was getting bigger the deeper we went.” You can’t keep the nervousness out of your voice as you scan the perimeters of the clearing, trying to get a glimpse of whatever it is that’s got Tom on edge. The darkness of the forest seems to loom and though you can’t see anything, you can feel it watching you, can feel the way it sizes you up the same way your cat sizes up mice in the courtyard before she pounces. You’ve always thought it was cute - the way her eyes would grow large and black and her lithe body would scrunch up before she attacked. You don’t find it cute now, though. Not when you’re the mouse.
Tom hums in response and he almost sounds relieved, though you can’t think of a single reason why. “Stand up for me, and stay close now.” You follow his instructions, the basket and the flowers lying forgotten at your feet. There is something about the way Tom’s holding himself, his back is a straight line of tension, his shoulders are taught, the grip on his wand is rigid. He looks like he’s ready for a fight. “Stop the lumos, darling.” At your noise of protest, he shoots you a quick smile which you think is supposed to be reassuring but in reality, looks vaguely foreboding. “Trust me.”
“Nox. Happy now?”
“Ecstatic.”
“Oh, yeah, you sound really— Merlin, what the fuck?” The shadows in front of you shift, and something big and black and not really there seems to collect in the near pitch black. Vapours in the air that pool and swirl until they coalesce into a shadowy thing the size of a shire horse. For a moment, it just hangs there, waiting and watching and anticipating.
And then it lunges.
In the grand scheme of things, your life is relatively unimportant. You’re not so narcissistic that you believe that the world will be irrevocably changed or diminished if you were to meet an untimely end - sure, your family and friends would be sad for a while, your cat would wonder why you’re no longer around to give them treats and ear scratches, but nothing would fundamentally change if you were to die. You know all of this and still, you’re staring down the proverbial barrel of a gun and the only thing that’s running through your mind is, Dear Gods, why me?
You realise in this instant that you are not made for combat. This shouldn’t be a surprise to you - you’re pretty good at Defence, but you’ve never enjoyed duelling. In contrast to your frozen reaction, Tom responds immediately. The rigidity of his posture melts into something fluid and instinctive, and he’s stepping in front of you in one smooth motion and slashing his wand through the air in the next. Violet light arches through the darkness and the thing rears back, as though wounded before it pushes forward. You scramble backwards, staring in horror at the thing. In the spell-light, you can see now that its body is made up almost entirely of shadows - living, sentient shadows that join and divide around a curling skeleton. The only thing standing between you and the shadows is Tom, who is in his element, a whirl of controlled energy and deft wand movements. You’ve seen him duel before, but only in the relative safety of Defence Against the Dark Arts, and watching him now, in an environment where he doesn’t need to hold himself back, where every ounce of his focus and skill is directed at a real-life foe inspires awe and wonder and fear inside you.
The thing slinks around the two of you and tendrils of shadow and darkness curl out and whip at Tom’s feet. You think it must realise that of the two you, Tom is the more immediate threat. Tom leaps out of the way and advances, seemingly without fear for care for his own safety and you’re dimly aware that you’re yelling for him to get back and away. He either doesn’t hear you over the sound of his own casting or he doesn’t care - he just keeps moving, ducking neatly out of the way of another tendril as he sends a jet of golden light that splinters and pierces the monster’s shadows. You keep a tight grip on your wand, trying to think of any spell that might do something against an incorporeal monster.
The monster lets out a shriek and you’re not sure if it’s in pain or just angry but Tom is already moving again. He reaches for you blindly, not taking his eyes off the thing that is currently writhing on the forest floor. Before it can get a chance to recover, Tom raises his wand a final time and the bright white light of a lumos encompasses the shadow being burning and blinding until all that remains is a charred husk a skeleton that matches no anatomy of any creature you’re familiar with.
“Are you alright? Are you hurt?” In contrast to the surety with which he duels, his voice is wrecked, a kind of frantic worry lacing his words. When his hands find yours, his grip is tight to the point of it being painful, as though he’s half-convinced that if he lets go you’ll fade into the shadows along with the monster.
A feeling of warmth and affection surges inside of you, far stronger than the fear that courses through your veins and you grip his hand back, clinging just as tightly to him as he is to you. “I’m fine— Tom, are you okay? I’m sorry for dragging you out here with me,” You say, anger at having gotten him into this mess and anger that the school would harbour some kind of shadow demon in the forest forging your voice into something sharp and hard.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” He says and you’d be insulted by the way he brushes you off if it weren’t for the way that his thumb brushes your knuckles as he pulls you closer to his side. You know him well enough to hear the unspoken worry in his words. “This is exactly why I came with you.” You know he’s telling the truth. Since you’ve known him, Tom has always had an uncanny ability to know when you’ll need him, has always been there to help and protect you. Usually, that involves editing your essays and handing out detentions to people who trouble you, but you shouldn’t be surprised that he’s taken his chosen role to heart and would gladly put himself in harm's way if it meant you didn’t have to.
Nestled against him like this, you feel the fear that’s been with you since you first entered the forest fade, leaving behind a tired sort of fondness and relief. He’s still glaring at the place where the thing used to be, still tense and stiff as though he’s waiting for it to rise up and start attacking you both again. Tentatively, you reach up and brush your fingers against his jaw, willing him to turn and look at you, so that you can see for yourself that he’s okay, that he’s still here, with you. After a pause, he grants you your wish and your heart quickens at the ferocity lingering in his eyes. “Thank you,” You breathe and just like that, something shifts in the air around you and the tension leaches out of him.
He leans down and brushes a kiss against your forehead and you wind your arms around his back, one hand splayed firmly against his shoulder blades, the other running through the short dark curls at the nape of his neck. “I’m okay, I promise. Thank you for being here.” And you’re not just thanking him for tonight, though are you grateful, you’re thanking him for every instance he’s stepped in to look after and protect you.
“I’d never let anything happen to you, you must realise that by now.” He murmurs, and in the hushed silence of the forest, you can hear the unspoken promise clear as you can feel the warmth of his hand in yours.
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persephoneyss · 3 years
Text
The Monster.
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Pairing: park jimin x f!reader.
Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish.
Summary: ❝You can be reborn like spring, but your nightmares will follow your footsteps at night.❞
Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, voyeurism, Jimin is a little delusional, implicit murder, death threats, a little violence, stalking, death of secondary characters, reader idolizes his mother, humiliation.
Number of words: 6000+
︙ Author's note: this is my first fic here, sorry if there are errors. My first language is not English and I don't speak it fluently either, so I used the translator. Sorry about that. I hope you enjoy it, I am open to criticism. Thanks!
(Puedes leer este y más fics aquí en español.)
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To block.
Your mind felt strangely familiar, like it was processing the same situation all over again. And then the same thing happened again.
Blocking.
You never noticed those little details, invisible to the eyes of others. Or maybe you took too seriously the message and advice that your mother always told you when you were afraid of being left alone in your room because of the obvious and silly repetitive story of the monster under the bed, you were crying looking for your mother's room in the middle of the night. You were looking for refuge in her arms. However, the only loving words she had for you were: "Ignore him and he will go away, darling."
It seemed very clever to you, you began to close your eyes ignoring your worst fears and in a short time you could do what most children could not at your age, sleep alone in the dark.
Your mother was wise, maybe that's why you never understood why your father left her overnight. She never commented on the subject and little by little it was forgotten in her daily lives. Your father never existed, you never saw him again.
In his small town no one was exceptionally well known, unless he had done something good or bad enough to be called a hero or, in the same way, a villain. You were barely seven years old when it happened, a family with a lot of money had chosen your town as a decent land, enough to build their luxurious house where their children who came from golden cradles would grow up. According to the gossip, they were foreigners coming to invade their town and rule it, when in reality the Parks never got more involved in politics than necessary.
They were just rich, spending money.
Young women from all over the world and even from other distant towns came every day to try to conquer the privileged children of the great mansion built finely and strategically in the middle of the main square. The young women were beautiful, many times you stood at the door of your house admiring their distinguished perfect faces and you wondered if the children of the Park family were really worth it so that young and beautiful women who had previously been rejected would come back again. in search of new opportunities.
Your mother sometimes stood next to you with a smile and released another phrase that ended up marking your style of thinking, her voice sounded so ethereal: "Money compensates for external beauty, plus the dignity that you lose to those who possess it, it will never have a price."
Your lost look made her smile beautifully badly, then that same sweet voice that taught you things that other women would see as irrelevant, she too moments later she orders you to come home to eat. You thought about it so much, your mother was beautiful, she could remarry if she wanted to. However, she never did, or at least until that day.
You were poor, you were never afraid to accept it. You noticed it almost immediately, when you saw other children playing with toys that seemed impossible that you will ever possess, your mother was friends with the one who was best friends with your father, a carpenter who seemed to be very kind. He always gave you toys that came out with small defects and he couldn't sell, he was a good man until he seemed to misinterpret the situations and her relationship with your mother, unexpectedly asking her to marry him. Obviously you had to stop seeing him after the rejection. However, you were stubborn like the woman who gave you life, almost every day after finishing school you walk two streets to her local.
"How is your mother? Any suitors who weren't rejected the first time?" You laughed, helping him finish his last job. You shook your head, Peter was always very nice and honestly funny, you still didn't understand how your mother could reject them, but you never got into adult affairs. You were just an eight-year-old girl.
"She still misses dad." You whisper trying to drive a nail into loose wood, before being interrupted by Peter.
You look curiously at his downcast face of hers, as if she was keeping something deep within himself. But he quickly changes his expression as well as the subject. "Very good girl, no more help for today" he says, removing the dangerous tools out of your reach, you let out a exhausted sigh wanting to help him. Deep down you felt guilty. "How are you doing in school? I heard that the Parks will start a new campaign to help more in the education of the children, maybe you can see someone from the family up close."
You move your head in distracting affirmation playing with a piece of wood, Peter watches you for a moment and then sighs. You really were special, and if I could tell what happened to your father, you would let go of that glow for sure.
The following days passed in the same way, there was only a radical change in your routine. Now they forced you to stay longer in school so that you could take art classes with the children of the Park family. You had heard many mothers talking to yours about how handsome they were, and since their daughters would undoubtedly have a chance with Jimin, who was the eldest son and of course the first-born heir, you thought for a long time about a tall man with more years than all those young women who hallucinated with the perfect millionaire husband. However, it was all an illusion. Jimin was not a man, he was a seventeen year old teenager.
Perhaps the young woman who did win him over would be very lucky to marry someone her own age and not a bitter old man who only had money. Jimin was everything, young, handsome and a millionaire, the best bet of any woman.
His first class was alongside his current teacher, introducing each child in the Park family. They were all very handsome, but Jimin seemed to shine brighter than the stars in the dark night. You wondered if his younger siblings would become jealous of him, it would be an interesting concept considering you had no siblings.
Your hands moved the clay very patiently, your classmates seemed to enjoy these classes and they were undoubtedly fun.
"What a beautiful flower ..." You smiled nodding, no one would ever think that someone like Jimin would be delighted with the common drawing of any girl. Her gaze traveled around your pure and innocent face, as if she couldn't get enough of you. She sat next to you, admiring how your hands continued to play with the dough creating new shapes and I certainly enjoyed every second.
She had never met someone who would attract so much attention from her, you were ethereal. Jimin was immediately drawn to you, your gaze clear as daylight and your soft features, maybe you were just a girl but you seemed to tempt his attention incredibly badly from him. He felt the strange sensation of making sure you were okay, safe, probably in his arms.
He followed you closely, always arriving at the same time. Her mother used to say that Jimin was very irresponsible, she never complied with the basic principles of being a Park: Discipline, order and punctuality. Jimin was different, his siblings may have fulfilled those three bases just to give what they wanted to their parents and receive more affection from him, but not him.
Jimin was obsessive. Impulsive, and he had self-control issues.
The biggest dangerous trait that his parents noticed since he was little, is that he suffered attacks of anger against anyone without caring about the consequences of this. More than three of his babysitters claimed that little Jimin had hit them, slapping and shoving them. But all of this was radically ignored by the Parks, who turned a deaf ear claiming that their son was simply too controlling, and in a way, he was. Jimin liked to have everything under control, at his disposal.
Jimin found himself fascinated with your little eyes looking at him without fear and, even though it was painful for him, without love. For you, he was nothing more than a stranger. He tried to change that, sitting next to you every day and talking to you a few times when he could get more than two sentences out of you. He liked art, I could tell by the way you focus too much on a small painting of an insignificant tree.
If you liked trees, Jimin could buy a forest for yourself.
You loved roses, he could plant thousands in every corner of town.
Or maybe, your obsession with the smell of vanilla. Jimin went wildly for the most expensive vanilla scented lotion, hoping for some praise from you and he really didn't fail.
No, when the next day he sat next to you and your gaze turned to him with a kind smile. "It smells great, Mr. Jimin." Your soft tone and your minimal compliment was enough to make his entire body shake, his hands began to sweat and his voice seemed to falter. It was amazing how you managed to make him so nervous, while he was still a child.
"Y-do you like it?" She asked even knowing the answer, your head bobbing in a quick nod and an even bigger smile adorns your features.
You put your painting aside for a moment to continue responding, Jimin feels elated to see that his plan worked. Now you're just looking at him, as it always should be. "It smells like vanilla, I like vanilla." You say honestly.
"I see, I also like vanilla." You seem shocked, Jimin increases the tension of him fearing that he said something wrong. He really wasn't lying, maybe vanilla wasn't something he used constantly but he didn't dislike it either, he was just disguising and embellishing a crude truth.
And before long, Jimin feels his life take an unexpected turn, people had started to notice his closeness to you. They called him an angel when in reality he was a devil, rumors and silly praise that he would be a good father were not lacking and the young women who came to his door every day to look for a date with him increased in an exorbitant way. You were oblivious to all that, clearly. However, you could not ignore all the looks that fell on you when you accompanied your mother to the market, as from one day to the next you became someone important just because you were the focus of attention of him Mr. Jimin, as you used to call him with respect. Peter also suffered the consequences of this, you had not stopped going to his store and the young women looking to conquer Jimin or at least get his attention began to follow you wanting to win your affection so that you will speak well of them with their desired man, no you were interested in what they could offer you but the biggest problem was that they did not like to receive a clear 'No.' as a reply.
They were insistent and often annoying. They followed you closely, even when you went to school or to visit Peter who now only went twice a week, you did not want to go out and have to face the pity that it gave you to see many beautiful young women begging for a vague love and that I was looking for more money arrangements than anything else. Also, not all of them had good intentions with you. Your mother made sure of your safety in the face of any incident, and with that came her last word, her strict order not to approach Park Jimin again until he found a wife.
The rest would be history.
He would surely forget you and start forming his own family, having his own children and likewise, looking for his own problems. Instead, that never happened. Jimin had discovered your plan, he was angry, he couldn't believe that you were ignoring his attempts to approach you in such a way. Your attitude was so pure but you were hurting her so much.
He was delusional, she knew he was. But he didn't want to stop. So, he did the only thing that would make you stay by his side.
You felt strangely calm, you had been to and from school with no one following closely in your footsteps. Until you noticed that the whole town seemed to look at you with superiority, with caution. Peter never stopped taking care of his store, however, that day it was closed. You gave little thought to that coincidence, walking home with slow steps. Deep down you were scared.
Maybe you thought you could feel it, in front of your house a crowd of people lay watching the most unexpected marriage request. Your mother was uncomfortable, you could tell by how her face was distorted, and how her hands seemed to shake for reasons not yet known to you. You watched in horror as Jimin knelt before her with a smile pulling a ring out of a small red box.
For a moment, you thought about your father. You felt strange, you always wanted to have a warm fatherly hug but it made you uncomfortable to imagine Jimin occupying that place, you did not want him, you did not love him as a daughter to his firstborn or as another similar relationship. He was a stranger.
Your body fell into the seat reserved especially for you, your eyes observed any place in the church trying to disperse your mind. Your little shoes brushed against each other, your hands rested on the wooden seat waiting for the wedding to end as soon as possible. You never wanted to oppose your thoughts to the idea of ​​your mother falling in love or getting married again, you really didn't care much as long as that person was good for her.
However, he was Park Jimin. You felt disgusted when her mother looked at you from afar with despicable eyes, just as anger consumed you when Mrs. Park tried to embarrass your mother in front of everyone. You didn't ask for this, nobody asked for it.
Maybe you spent too much time thinking around you to notice that Jimin was unhappy. A little upset. He had done what he had to do, chained you to him in some twisted way, marrying your mother and he felt happy, at first. I could see you walking through the church, you were wearing a little white dress to match your mother's and for a sinister moment I imagine that you were the one walking towards him to be named his wife. But he quickly came back to reality, you weren't his fiancée. You wouldn't be his wife.
Deep inside him, he knew how gross it was to feel like this.
Your mother's eyes reflected how unhappy she was, her gaze was uncertain. Jimin smiled seeing how you kicked the decorations that fell to the ground, you were completely oblivious to everything and more to the look of her that she followed you closely. Many called him a good father. Seeing nothing but his protective attitudes, but under the circumstances there were only hints of what might come next. You weren't allowed to leave Jimin's house, his father had left the mansion where his whole family used to live.
Mrs. Park could find no better excuse to leave than the sudden tantrum of her first-born son for marrying an older woman, a widow, and a daughter. This is a mockery and disgrace to her family's last name. Jimin just let her go, he wasn't even there the day her mother boarded the first train to her grandmother's house.
Your mother flatly refused to leave her house at first, she did not want to leave the little cabin that your father had built with his own effort so that both of them would live there and in the future raise their children, you always lived there and you did not want to leave either. But you never had a solid vote, your mother ended up agreeing from one day to the next, you did not know how Jimin managed to change his word so suddenly. Maybe there was never one reason, but you became all of them.
You were painfully present at all times. You observed how little by little, the wispy and wise glow that your mother possessed was getting lost between her empty eyes and her bent body, her head was never raised as she taught you it should be. She was a stranger, you felt scared in her presence. You remembered very well how her face seemed to light up when she saw you coming home from school and how she taught you something new every day.
"Mommy..." You spoke, your hands were still busy with the picture that you hadn't finished painting. But curiosity began to attack your mind.
Your mother came out of the kitchen with a little gray apron, she smiled when she saw you sitting on the floor. "Yes, honey?"
"Why do people get married?" Your gaze lifted from the sheet of paper, wincing at her glowing eyes.
"It depends, it's not necessarily for love. Maybe for money, comfort or ..." her voice trailed off, she still staring at you she leaned down to take your face in her hands. "Because they found someone, as cute as you!"
"Mommy ... I want to marry you!" Your mother began to laugh, your gaze traveled all over her face, joyful of hers and for a moment, you swore that you would hate anyone who dared to take away the great happiness of a genuine smile.
You finished your drawing, just in time because the front door echoed through the entire cabin. Your father appeared with a small drawer in his hands, your mother seemed to be illuminated with an angel when she saw him enter with a kind smile. Both were such for which. They were, more than lovers and husbands, lifelong best friends. Your life seemed to have something that many do not get even after death.
An outer and inner peace. It was perfect.
Almost so perfect, it wasn't true. White roses were always your favorites. However, you began to detest its soft light petals when it seemed that all the townspeople bought the same bouquet of white roses for the funeral of your, now, deceased mother. You took a seat next to her grave, ignoring everyone's greetings and goodbyes, who apparently forgot how her criticism of her increased even as the days, months and years of her wedding with Jimin passed.
You couldn't blame anyone. Or you just didn't want to.
Because the rope around his neck was not placed by them. And the multiple scars on his wrists weren't his marks. A small part of you felt helpless, angry and respectively, disgusted with yourself. Could you help her? Yes. No. Maybe if you had ... And he had stayed in the past.
The little white rose in your hand fell to the floor, everyone had left the room to go to the large buffet served at the reception. You froze, then with the same rage you began to step on the already dead flower at your feet, the petals of it were no more than a pure color, now they were disgusting and dirty. Jimin appeared minutes later, your gaze fell on his hand that was holding a black and a red rose.
"We should go, honey." He whispered as if afraid to scare you even though you were already looking directly at him. Your immobile figure instinctively ran into his arms, which greeted you with an incredibly loving warmth. The roses were placed on top of the coffin, a smile spread across your face when you saw the color red stand out against so much white, and for a second you came to compare the beauty of an outstanding color with your mother.
She stood out in a world where everyone wanted to paint themselves pure white.
Jimin was even more welcoming to you now. He pretended to sleep waiting for 11:30 to arrive so that he could hear your footsteps on the way to his room, you had developed a great amount of fear of loneliness. Jimin knew you always did that, but before it was with her instead of him. You would walk for several seconds looking in the dark for his room, which was next to hers, then I would always hear her voice singing for you, making you rest in his arms. For a long time, I want to be her. But now he was gone and I knew it was a matter of time before your steps stopped at his door.
She loved the closeness of your body to hers, how your hands clung to her nightshirt when you were cold or a horrible nightmare was projected into your dreams. Jimin horribly wishes he could see beyond your dreams, although that would be disrespectful to your privacy, he wouldn't mind breaking your trust too much if he could be sure that you would never walk away from him, even in your dreams.
He managed to chain your life to his, your scared look was the most beautiful thing I have seen before. I want to touch your little face and kiss your soft lips that tempted him every time the word "dad" came out of it.
Time was his greatest enemy.
Your presentation was no better, your hands were trembling again while your feet moved from here to there restlessly. Jimin just watched silently, but the distance between you and him was gigantic, he just wished that the damn bitch that was presented before him would shut up and leave his house. It was remarkable how you seemed angry, maybe it's jealousy, she has feelings for me. He thought sickly, a smile spreading across his face discreetly at his incoherent thoughts of him. The young woman sitting on the sofa in front of him smiled thinking that her talk had caused some pleasure in the young and widowed man.
Jimin admired her face, she was very cute, also she seemed to have good manipulation technique in people. She noticed it quickly when she walked through the door, her smile that seemed uncontrollable and genuine lit up his childlike face. He took a few seconds, he knew he shouldn't do it but he couldn't help comparing the woman to you. You were shorter, you were obviously younger and your gaze was more pure. Jimin was proud of your firm stance, knowing that in the two years since your mother's death you had developed a closer connection with him, and likewise, you were a beautifully perfect copy of him. Your hard gaze and your legs crossed with each other showed your firmness, and your silent opinion.
You wanted the fucking bitch sitting across from your stepdad outside your house.
You laughed at the very idea of ​​one day finding a really good replacement for your mother. You couldn't replace a rose with bad herbs. For you, as selfish as he was, Jimin was your father, and he was your mother's love from the day he married her. No one would replace his position.
It was all three of them, and a part of your mind conned that Jimin still wasn't over the love he had for her. Or he would have remarried long ago, when the young women stood in front of the door of his house asking for a date with him. In those moments you didn't care, Jimin was a stranger, but now he was your father and you were his only daughter. No one had the right to ruin their harmonious relationship, they were both alone and someday serious like him.
You will be successful, you will make a lot of money and you will be able to marry someone you love.
But for now, your gaze fell on the little worn and dirty shoes of the woman in front of you. A smile crossed your face, your gaze lifted surprising the woman. While Jimin waited with his arms crossed for your following action.
"Woman." Your voice seemed to cut her tranquility, her face lost total color of life and a small grimace of fear passed over her fragile face. "I can't allow shoes like that to step on the carpet in my house ..."
The woman looked at Jimin who seemed indifferent, distracted by the painting on the wall.
"I'm sorry miss" she whispered trying to remove her shoes, his hands seemed more clumsy than usual. Her face burned when your hand moved closer to hers to prevent any further movement.
"Go away." A tiny part of you felt sorry for his embarrassed face and flushed cheeks. But it quickly came to your mind that she thought she was good enough to believe she was your mother. When she couldn't even challenge a stupid girl who acted like a spoiled brat. "Get out of my house, or I'll have to ask you not to just take off your shoes."
"I-sorry, I'll go now-..." A sob interrupted her dialogue, her hands searched for the notebook she was carrying but she gave up making a quick bow to Jimin and running outside.
The garden was your favorite part of the big house, the walls constantly made you believe that you were going to be eaten by them. Every day you came out of your lair admiring the many roses of many different colors growing beautiful and healthy. Your school stage was about to begin and you did not want to neglect your garden, which was also a tribute to your late mother.
So you hired a gardener. You were seventeen years old and soon to be eighteen. To say that you managed to experience the best of all those years was ridiculous, and deep down inside you, you thought that all of that was possible because of all the things Jimin did for you.
You had a debt, which you planned to pay in the future. You thought about leaving and letting him have a quiet life from now on without having to run to solve your problems, even if you never asked him to.
Jimin had eyes watching your every move, he clearly remembers how he put security cameras throughout the house, observing how you slept, what you did in the comfort of your room and privacy. Even when you walked into the shower and your hands ran over your body covered in water. Sometimes he felt guilty, for how he seemed to enjoy those moments that seemed so short.
However, it was repeated that as long as you were safe.
Breaking your trust wasn't that important.
Your eighteenth birthday was moderately quiet, Jimin was not used to throwing parties, and honestly, you never asked for one. So you just stood at the door of your house receiving expensive and cheap gifts from people who when they gave you the gift had a forced smile that told you many things. Most were familiar faces, of women who had previously sought a date with your father, obviously being rejected.
The little birthday cake looked so monotonous, the candles were the only thing you could stand out for. You were never aware that you had started to be privileged and extremely ambitious since Jimin proposed to your mother and forced her to marry him, pointing a gun at her pathetic silly little head. You had it all, and in your previous years maybe you managed to get excited about the new toys and accessories that were brought to you from other countries, you had everything that others did not, and a strange epiphany collapsed over you.
It was you, it was déjà vu. You were them, and those who were before, were now you.
You had all of them, and they didn't. Now, by your side, they were all poor. Jimin showered you with gifts, causing you to gradually lose interest in money. You remember your thoughts when it all started and likewise, you still remember the woman with the dirty shoes. You will be successful, you will make a lot of money. It was what you thought in the future for yourself, but now that was it, in a nutshell. Completely boring. You stayed for a moment thinking about them under the watchful eye of your stepfather who tried not to smile when you saw you, you were an adult now and he could finally take you as his own. They would be husband and wife, as it should have been from the beginning of its history.
And you will be able to marry someone you love. You still had only one option left, you blew out the candles with a single sigh causing Jimin to clap his hands and approach you to hug you fondly. The maids behind you only blushed when his boss started showing all of his affection. They weren't used to seeing him so often, Jimin had a firm and tough stance with everyone but he seemed to become as soft as clay in your presence. You came to mold Jimin in your favor, making him a cold person in front of his own demons and then, you left yours.
"I want marriage proposals, father." A gasp came from the mouths of the maids who just immediately fell silent. Lowering their head as they were taught. "I am ready to get married."
Jimin hummed still keeping his arms around you, your body was trapped in theirs. Your skin burned when his fingers squeezed your skin, leaving permanent marks. There was no reaction from you, you were used to this kind of unexpected treatment and it just didn't hurt.
"Get married?" His arms pulled away from you in disgust, there was no other reaction either. Jimin taught you not to object unless you knew you should. Stay calm and you will win. "And can you tell who would want to marry you? Useless little girl."
"Useless?" Your low voice seemed to make him happy for a moment.
Quickly his hands took the utensils to cut the cake, with a soft and sweet voice he continued: "Honey, men do not look for a girl with a lot of money like you. They look for someone to tame, and you, you could easily crush everyone with a wave of your hands."
A piece of the cake perfectly positioned on the plate was placed in front of you, a sob escaping your lips. You were really pathetic, eh? You clearly wanted to live something that has been claimed many times. You weren't going to get married, not without having it all like Jimin said. Then, you would lose everything and go back up to crush the others with greater pleasure.
"Aren't you going to eat? It's your cum-..."
"I will go to a neighboring town, I will finish my studies there."
Jimin looked down at his plate, ignoring how you got up from the table and put your cake aside. Then, your sweet voice finished destroying his self control that he thought he mastered long ago.
"I never liked that cake taste."
And it was the end.
You went back to the start again. You were planning to leave tonight, your bags were ready. Everything you needed was never in that house, it was never him. They were those that never existed in your present continued.
Your shoes did not seem to contrast with the dirt on the town's floor, you were also aware that those would end up in the trash. You didn't care, they were just shoes Jimin bought for your birthday, insignificant.
People were observant, and often foul-mouthed. It was no different than they spoke far from you or close to you, yet their mouths moved in a fussy way exaggerating reactions and creating new lies.
"_____...?" Your posture was decreasing, you no longer had to pretend. A smile covered your face, framing many emotions in one. "Come in please, it's your house."
Peter stepped aside, leaving room for you to enter. Your hands trembled but this time from cold, you still did not get over the harsh winter that suddenly passed. You took your shoes off quickly, briefly forgetting that this was no longer your home. You had sold the little cabin at a minimal price, and you were even happier when it was Peter who chose that place as his future home to live with his wife and his future child. Now he had two more. The little children ran in the tiny room playing with each other, a feeling of nostalgia invaded you when you saw them. You used to do the same before, together with your parents.
Those moments.
"Glad to see you around here, daughter." Peter hadn't changed, he was still the same kind and understanding person as ever. The opposite of you, of course. "Do you want to have tea? I heard on the streets that you would go to study far from here."
"Coffee, please." You responded still reluctant to talk about your departure.
Peter just laughed at your exaggerated denial, nodding and leading into the kitchen. You took a seat at the small table looking around. "You didn't change the decoration."
"Uh? ...." He seemed surprised by your observation, but he quickly smiled. "No. Actually, I think I liked it from the beginning how your ... er ... your mother decorated it. Besides, my wife loved it too. For her, it's beautiful as spring."
"Spring?" You ask, avoiding looking at it. You look down looking for some reason not to feel sad, in a way, you had compared your mother to spring as well. However, Jimin said that you were his. You never liked being called a light, because you always tried to be in your mother's shadow. And you liked it. "She believed that she is very wise, my mother was like spring."
"Thanks." A voice whispered from behind, your gaze fell on her and her face very much like your mother's. But they were obviously completely different. "I never doubted that you were just as wise. Spring represents the new beginning, a new beginning. Did you manage to find yours?"
Peter tried to intervene, clearly noticing the way his wife was trying to make you talk about your life after your mother died.
"I did. That's why I'm leaving here tonight."
"I'm glad we all need to be born again at some point."
You affirm with a small movement of the head, concentrating your gaze on the coffee cup in your hands. The smoke fell directly on your face hiding your grimace of disgust. Nobody deserves to talk about her like that yet.
"Ok, honey." Peter began by sitting across from you, with a cup of green tea and a serene expression. "Are you planning to go alone or with someone? I heard that travel today is very dangerous."
"Actually, I am accompanied by an acquaintance. His name is Jungkook, he also planned to leave and started working for me as a gardener to get the necessary money. We became good friends." You spoke remembering the adorable smile of the young man, he used to accompany you everywhere you went as if his job was to protect you. At first it was cute, but then it was annoying. Even after all that, you preferred to travel with him rather than alone.
"Oh that's very nice. I'm glad you managed to meet your goals. Good luck."
Your goals?
"Thanks, Peter."
His gaze lingered on your face for a moment, then he seemed to remember something very important. She gave you a smile before getting up to leave the kitchen.
"I have something for you, you are old enough to know this."
It was an envelope. Common and ordinary, but its envelope was beginning to deteriorate, showing that it was an old and very reserved letter.
You questioned your decision but took it, not wanting to read it in front of anyone even more when you read who wrote the letter.
You sat on the small wall, the trees and the cool breeze boosted your adrenaline. Small pieces of paper fell to the ground. So, you weren't thinking correctly at those times.
"I only married a man that I loved in all my life, I was happy. I had a daughter. I lived years of solitude and then, I was chained to an empty love."
"I know what you're reading this now. You're weak, darling. Maybe that's what made us mother and daughter. Because from the beginning I never had the courage to tell you that Jimin put a ring on my finger and a gun to my head. Or maybe, I was weak when I didn't get in the way of his errand, I should have told him that I hated him and that he could put a bullet in my head before giving it to my daughter. And maybe, I should have told everyone who passed by me that He was the same one who murdered my husband, he never left. I made you believe that. You never asked. "
"I saw you so happy today, you were running between the garden and the wedding. I could see his gaze following your hurried steps, I was almost completely sure that he was trying to get closer to you at all times. I told the woman next to me, But she shut me up saying that I can't be jealous of a father and daughter relationship. You weren't her daughter. She also ordered me to let them create a closer relationship, because I already had Park Jimin's heart in my hands. Liars."
"I always loved your curious voice. You used to ask me everything, and why everything was like that. But lately, I don't know what to answer. Why am I crying? Why is there a dark stain under my eyes? Why is there blood in the bathroom? Why did I never ask for help? I see you worry and you don't let me give you affection, because you prefer to give it to me. I also see how I start to bother him, I am a hindrance. Now I understand, I knew it but I never wanted to accept that it happened. He was everywhere, and likewise, I was never part of the plan."
"There were only two things I didn't tell you. I love you and my last piece of advice. Honey, lock it up and fly to the start, whenever you feel lost. A fresh start and never forget spring."
You stifled a sob. Covering up your pain. You had not noticed that the night had covered the sky, a dark blue blanket arrived. It took you a long time to assimilate that all the fragments were torn papers, and it was not a letter. It was an envelope filled with, apparently, incomplete sheets torn from a notebook. There was a fragment that was not part of the leaves, but rather was written later.
"Lost parts of a sad widow's diary.
Peter."
They were from your mother's diary. So where was the rest? What actually happened? A message came to your phone, you read it quickly still drying your tears.
JUNGKOOK:
Our trip is in an hour, I hope you said goodbye to everyone.
Received at 7:05 p.m.
I still do not:(
Received at 7:06 p.m.
Along with both messages was an attached picture, a photo of him and his grandmother. Jungkook talked a lot about her, and hers, her brothers. You smile, still wiping the tears from your face.
Your feet moved, the leaves in your hands seemed too heavy. And yet it was something you needed to do.
"Are you at home." His monotonous voice invaded you, he was busy reading a book that rested in his hand. The maid came over leaving a cup of coffee beside him, greeting your presence politely. "I have some things to discuss with you, darling."
"Me too, Jimin." It was the first time you had said his name without due respect, he seemed surprised for a moment. But his expression changed to one of happiness, as if he had been waiting for it. "I couldn't say goodbye, I'm leaving today. I think you already know that, though."
"Actually, no. But it's nice to hear it from you."
"I ..." Your voice dried in your throat, a giant doubt fell over you. You didn't want to leave without telling him how much you hated everything about him. His attention, his affection, his smile, his gaze, his voice. Everything about him was disgustingly charming. "I think I'll go get my bags."
Jimin nodded, ignoring your presence. Still distracted with reading him.
"Before you go, can you give me that back, darling?" Your gaze followed where he pointed his finger. Your hand. The leaves were still there.
"It's something of mine-..."
"Oh I don't think so. It really is very easy to threaten someone, just suffice to say that you can put a bullet in their head to make them your obedient little puppets."
"I do not understand your..."
"Me? It was obviously me. I'm surprised you thought your mother would be smart enough to leave a confession letter to her ex-lovers, days before her death. You really had a lot of credit for her." His chatter was accompanied by a laugh. You were paralyzed, shaking in your useless state of shock. "But I will not say that I did not plan, I hoped that you would never have the courage to try to leave my side. And even if that were the case, I knew that you would say goodbye to the only person who reminded you of her. Peter, she has a family. lovely."
Nor did he expect you to have the courage to cheat on him with another man. Oh, the gardener. Poor Jungkook, his body now rested leaving behind your favorite flowers. Jimin bit his lip, another mocking smile peeking out with intensity remembering the cutthroat figure of the innocent but guilty young man.
You were his...
"How can you be so cruel?" The doubt in you seemed to want to keep growing, passing second by second through your head. You weren't sure you could understand that everything that happened in front of you was actually planned by the same person who swore never to leave you alone. The same man who disguised himself as a sheep so he could eat you like a wolf. "Did you kill my mother ?!" Jimin seemed surprised by your desperate tone, he did not expect to be able to unbalance your state so easily.
It was lovely. Certainly.
"No sweetie." He murmured closing the book in his hands, setting it on the table next to the steaming cup of American coffee. "But it would have been exquisite to be the reason for his pain. Unfortunately, it was your father who won that title."
"Where did you get this from? I know she wrote it, and I also know that she would never give it to you knowing what a monster you are." Tears were running down your cheeks like water, you knew you were a mess but Jimin seemed to look at you like you were a perfect work of art.
"I found it." He spoke casually, getting up from his seat. Walking slowly towards your trembling figure. "It was a coincidence, I like casual things. It was a coincidence that you studied at that school, that your mother was a widow, that your father died. That he will make me fall in love with you."
What is your goal now?
"I love you darling."
Escape from the monster.
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inamemyselficarus · 3 years
Text
Elias Bouchard x Reader, A Job Interview
The damp London air pressed down on you, almost feeling weighted by some sense of impending gravitas, as if the course of your entire life was about to change. That, of course, was ridiculous, but you couldn’t help but fidget with the leather strap of your messenger bag as you looked  up at the imposing stone edifice of the building in front of you. The Magnus Institute. Arguably London’s most dubious academic institute, it had been the butt of many jokes among your colleagues at UCL, where you had just completed your DPhil in Neuroscience, adding a hard-won “Dr.” to the front of your name. And yet, you were here to apply for a job. The strangest thing was you weren’t quite sure exactly why.
You had always been fascinated by the brain. Growing up a quiet, bookish child in a small but tight-knit farming town in the US, you’d naturally gravitated to the fringes of any social interactions among your peers. You preferred watching, listening, and learning from the interactions of others than participating in these yourself. When the time came to go to college, you’d gotten a scholarship to a small liberal arts school with a good research program, effortlessly transitioning from watching the decisions your peers made to studying the molecular pathways involved in such decision making. Your undergraduate dissertation had won you a spot as a PhD candidate at University College London, where you had spent the past three years.
As soon as you had reached the UK, something had felt different. It wasn’t something that you could explain or even understand, like something in your bones had shifted. It felt… good though, so you hadn’t worried, hadn’t pressed. You were just grateful that moving halfway around the world hadn’t been as difficult as you’d thought. It was about halfway through your first semester when you’d noticed the pull you’d felt. You had taken to enjoying long walks around the city when you weren’t in class or in the lab. You’d found yourself looking up at the gothic facade of the building you now knew to be the Magnus Institute for the third time before you realized what was happening. No matter what your plan was when you set out, you always seemed to end up at this same building when you weren’t headed anywhere specifically. It was like you were a compass needle being slowly and inexorably pulled toward a lodestone.
You’d asked the other members of your lab what the Magnus Institute was the following day and were somewhat startled by their immediate, scoffing laughter. Besides apparently being the laughingstock London’s academic institutions, they were apparently absurdly picky about who could gain access to their library. You’d tried to put it out of your mind, but found that your feet still thoughtlessly carried you there whenever you tried to explore the city. As you approached your thesis defense and began to think of what you wanted to do next, you didn’t expect the sharp jab of panic that lanced through you at the thought of leaving London. It was a ridiculous thought. You’d come here because the program was excellent and you’d gotten the chance to work underneath some of the brightest minds in your field during your degree, but you’d never intended to stay. Still, before you knew it, you had found yourself looking for possible postdoctoral fellowships in the city. Without quite knowing why, you had also pulled up the website of The Magnus Institute and saw a notice that they were seeking to hire a new head archivist for their collection. Despite the job being far out of your field and feeling somewhat insane for doing so, you brushed a cobweb away from your computer screen and sent your resume. You had never expected to be called for an interview.
Now, your hand hovered hesitantly over the Institute’s ornate doorknob, the gold of the metal contrasting sharply with the deep forest green of the door itself. Why had you come here? You weren’t even remotely qualified for this position. As soon as you’d received the interview invitation you should have called and told them that there had been some mistake. But you hadn’t. And you couldn’t stop yourself from slowly turning the doorknob and entering the elegant foyer of The Magnus Institute. The second you crossed the threshold, you stumbled, suddenly feeling the gaze of a thousand invisible eyes probing every facet of your mind and your soul. Perhaps it should have been disconcerting, but you felt seen and known, and, most damnably, understood. The instinctual, bone-deep reaction raced through every cell in your body. You belonged here.
“Miss L/N?” the voice pulled you out of whatever strange thoughts had so suddenly grabbed you, and you turned to see a plain looking woman in a grey cardigan standing in front of what looked to be a reception desk.
“Yes? I mean, yes, I am Dr. L/N. I’m here for my interview?” You stumbled over the words, still feeling somewhat off balance.
The woman smiled and motioned for you to follow her. “Mr. Bouchard is expecting you, please come this way.” She led you through a maze of corridors, not speaking beyond that first sentence. Finally you came to a stop in front of a dark, cherrywood door with a gold nameplate that read ‘Elias Bouchard, Head of the Magnus Institute.’
As you approached, a deep baritone voice called out from inside the room “Come in.”
The woman gestured you forwards and you tentatively placed a hand on the ornate doorknob, twisting and pushing the door open. You stepped into an office filled with shades of a dark, elegant green and polished wood accents, but your attention was immediately drawn to and captured by the man sitting behind the imposing desk in front of a large bay window. His suit was a sharp grey, just a few shades darker than his piercing pale eyes. His eyes. It was like he was looking into you, through you, almost. Like those eyes could see everything you had ever been. You hadn’t noticed that you’d frozen until he beckoned you forwards with a smirk, gesturing to a chair placed in front of his desk. You moved to sit, setting down your messenger bag and subconsciously straightening your blazer.
“Dr. L/N,” he purred. “How delightful to finally meet you.”
When had your mouth become so dry?
“I-- It’s wonderful to meet you as well, Mr. Bouchard.”
He made a dismissive wave with one well-manicured hand. “Please, call me Elias.”
You paused, brain blinking for a second. “Um, okay, If you call me F/N… Elias.” Your mouth twitched up into an awkward smile as you fidgeted with the cuff of your blazer.
“Y/N.” He leaned forward, lips turning up into a leonine grin. “What brings you to my Institute?”
“I don’t know.” The words were out before you could even think, almost as if they’d been pulled directly from your throat. You flushed. “I mean, I shouldn’t even be here.” You couldn’t stop yourself. Your cheeks burned darker in embarrassment as the words just kept pouring out. It was like everything in you ached to be known by the man sitting in front of you and your head was spinning. “I’m certainly not qualified for this job -- I’ve only ever worked as a waitress or in a lab. It’s way out of my field, and everything I’ve ever been led to know tells me that I shouldn’t take this place seriously. But… it feels like it’s calling me, somehow. Like I belong here, like... I’m a part of this place, and even if I tried to leave I couldn’t. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I just want to know what’s happening to me.” Your voice cracked with emotion on the last words.
Elias’ grin only widened, flint-grey eyes sparking as if to light a fire that would burn down the world as you knew it. He leaned forward, steepling his fingers, and a mental image of a cat caging a small bird between its paws pushed its way to the forefront of your mind.
“What are you afraid of?”
You didn’t want to answer this question. Didn’t want this mysterious stranger to see how weak you were, but the words rose up out of you regardless. “I’m afraid of not knowing the things I need to know. Of failing. Of not being enough.” Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes.
“And what do you desire more than anything?” His voice was deeper now, wrapping around each vowel and consonant like liquid darkness. Your eyes slid shut.
“To be known. I want someone to see me, every thought I’ve ever had, every facet of who I am. I want to be completely understood and still, somehow, wanted.” You’d never voiced these thoughts even to yourself, trying to convince yourself that all you wanted was to be successful as a scientist, to use your knowledge to advance humanity’s understanding. You’d always had trouble getting close to people and didn’t want to confront the slowly growing suspicion that no one would ever truly know you enough to truly love you. That, even if you eventually did find someone who wanted to be close to you, it wouldn’t be real, because they couldn’t really see you.
You sucked in a breath, eyes flying open at the sensation of a hand on your cheek, brushing away the tears you hadn’t noticed falling. Elias loomed over you, pale eyes glinting with something that looked almost like triumph as he gently cradled your face in his palm.
“I think you and I are going to get on splendidly.” 
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lustbile-archive · 4 years
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YangyangxReader
Word Count: 3.2k
Summary/Warning: Smut. Yangyang swears that tentacles are hot, just watch one video with him and you’ll see. He promises.… this was supposed to be a blurb but then I got very carried away. and because of that it might be a little rambley at some parts im so sorry
Requested
You’d be the first to admit that you and Yangyang had a weird friendship. Your other friends had clocked it, saying that even for best friends, you were way too open with each other.
And they weren’t technically wrong. Something about being around Yangyang deleted your filter, made you say shit that you never thought you’d say to another human being, but in your defense, he was exactly the same way.
It started with a few dirty jokes. It wasn’t anything serious or any different than ones you’d say with or without each other, but you two did encourage each other. It was as if anything one of you said, the other had something to add. It didn’t take long for things to begin to spiral and for your friends to decide that you two together were lethal.
After that day it was like you were attached at the hip. Something about your shared vulgarness made you click and it wasn’t very long after until it went a little far.
It was the first time you stayed over at his place, a bottle of liquor tucked in your bag. Tipsy off a half a bottle each, you both let it slip what turned you on the most. It wasn’t weird at the time, but the next morning there was a tension there.
That tension eventually faded, leading to another sleep over. And another. And another. Each of them somehow leading to some form of sexual conversation.
But the one that happened tonight was different.
Some joke about porn was made. You two sat side by side in your own chairs as you watched him play some game you quickly forgot the name of, and he had deemed it appropriate to mention that it would be kinda hot if the woman he played as were to get fucked by the tentacle monster that she fought.
You started by jokingly scolding him about how, though you weren’t sure exactly in what way, what he said was chauvinistic. But then you followed it with teasing about how he was a weirdo for being into tentacles.
“Oh come on,” he goes on, much louder than he needed to be, “you cannot tell me you’ve never looked at tentacle porn. Not even just because you were curious?”
“What porn I watch is none of your business Yang,” you retort as you push your finger in his face, a bratty giggle bursting from you when he smacks your hand away in irritation.
“So you’re not denying that you’ve seen tentacle porn,” he hums, nodding to himself, “if that’s the case I’m just gonna assume you have.”
You move to retort again, but he quickly interrupts, “actually I’m going to assume that you only watch tentacle porn and it’s something you get off to very often.”
“You think about me getting off a lot Yangyang?” you ask, but you quickly realize maybe the question was a step too far once the words are in the air.
Thankfully, he seems to ignore your question as he suddenly closed his game, the incognito tab he opens immediately after making your mouth run dry.
“How about this,” he starts, his fingers running across the keyboard as he types in the the link to a porn site. You divert your eyes quickly when you see the bars auto fill pop up, the idea of seeing whatever he looked at when he forgot to go incognito making your stomach flip, “let’s just take a little peek and we’ll see who’s right.”
“See who’s right about what?” your voice pitches and your back straightens as you ask.
“About whether or not tentacles are hot,” he turns to you briefly as if he’s explaining a math equation to you, “come on dude keep up.”
“Man I don’t know,” you hesitate, but you quickly notice he already has a video picked out and queued.
“I’m not gonna force you to watch it if you don’t want,” he reassures as he hovers his cursor over the play button, “but I also won’t judge you if you’re curious.”
You gnaw on your bottom lip for a moment as you think, your heart beating faster as the seconds pass, “okay fine just play it before I change my mind.”
And that’s how you got where you are now. You and Yangyang curled into your chairs, eyes wide and curious as a slender woman, with a disproportionately large chest, screams and whines while she’s brutally fucked by a weird tentacle monster.
You feel your face twist in fascination, first at the amount of detail and time that must have went into animating each frame, but then slowly but surely, just how weirdly hot you found yourself finding the video.
Something about the way the multiple tentacles cover her body as they suspend her in the air. One is shoved deep in her mouth, gross gagging noises added as a result, two attached to both of her nipples and another set fucking her open from both holes. It was easily one of the weirdest things you’ve ever seen, but you couldn’t ignore the growing wetness it caused in your underwear.
You try to not let it show in your body language, the idea of Yangyang noticing your arousal and then most likely making fun of you for it making you want to crawl in a hole.
You eyes dart over to him for a moment to try and gauge how he’s feeling. The first thing you notice immediately is the way he curls to block your view of his crotch, the second being the fact that he looks at you as well.
“So… what are you thinking?” he asks slowly.
“I don’t know what are you thinking?” you throw back almost too quickly.
“I… I think you know what I’m thinking,” his words continue to spill out like molasses, his head quickly nodding to the space between his legs with a embarrassed flush to his skin, “I’m asking how you’re feeling.”
“I don’t know,” you double down, your head shaking with a jerk, “I- I don’t know how I’m feeling.”
“It’s okay if you like it-“
“I don’t know if I like it,” you lie, your tone defensive and sharp.
“You do know that you’re not a bad person for liking it right?” He continues to reassure as he tries to keep his patience with you.
You only huff in response, the video still loudly playing as you talk. You try to shift in your seat to create distance between you, but it only makes you aware of how your arousal grows.
“Okay im not gonna lie,” he starts, a joking tone to his voice in the way that tells you he’s trying to ease the tension, “I think it’s hot, but you probably guessed that. I’m just saying I could totallly jack it to this.”
You know it’s a joke, but that doesn’t stop the words from making your face warm and your thighs flex. And even though you try and advert your eyes, you know he is analyzing every move you make.
“Do you maybe…” he trails off as he considers what to say next, “ack, no no it’s weird never mind.”
“What?” you dart up in panic, “is something im doing weird?”
“No no no,” he panics as well, “you’re fine… I was just gonna ask if you... if you maybe wanted to see how much you like it. Like see if you can get off to it?”
It was in this you found out that maybe your friends were right. Maybe you were lethal together, too comfortable and relaxed and willing to do and say the worst in front of each other. If that wasn’t the case there was no way in hell you’d end up where you were now.
If someone had told you that when you first met Yangyang that one night you two would be masturbating to tentacle porn together, you would have told them they lived in a fantasy, that they were just delusional perverts that don’t like people being just friends, but they would have been right.
You felt weirdly eager as you pushed your pajama shorts and underwear to his floor, the air of the room hitting your skin and making you come to the terms of how wet the video had gotten you.
And the fact that Yangyang seemed equally as eager as he pulled himself from the restrains of his sweatpants both put you at ease while putting you incredibly in edge.
You tried to ignore him as he sat next to you. Your eyes taking an iron lock onto his screen as a new video played. It was the same idea, pretty girl with literally any possible hole stuffed with a slimy tentacle getting pleasured in any way possible, the only difference was a slight change in art style.
It took you a moment to get into it, your fingers gently tapping against your clit as you tried to build the courage to touch yourself the same way you do in the safety of your own room, but after one particularly hard thrust from the monster and a desperate cry from the girl, you couldn’t hold back.
Your fingers dipped into your entrance gently as you coated the tips in your arousal, your hips jumping slightly at the friction.
Yangyang tried to ignore you as well, his fist moving slowly as he tried to focus on the scene in front of him, but the way you jerked next to him and the bubbles of noise that slipped unintentionally from your lips, he felt like a starving tiger being tempted with a steak.
You tried to bite your tongue to hold in any moans as your fingers started to roll circles gently on your clit, but with the way you grew wetter and wetter and the rising sensitivity in the bundle of nerves, you couldn’t help the quiet whimpering that rose from you chest.
It wasn’t that you could get off to it, it was actually much easier than you had anticipated. Something about the way the girls in the videos were being stimulated in every way possible had you hot and dripping in your arousal, and maybe your best friend pleasuring himself next to you was making it a million times sexier.
You weren’t alone though. It didn’t take long for Yangyang to lose his internal battle, his eyes straining to his side and his gaming chair rolling back slightly to allow him to watch you from the side. He knew he could crank one out easily to the videos in front of him, he had done it plenty of times before, but if he let the opportunity of watching your chest rise and fall with labored breaths while your fingers moved quickly over your dampened skin pass him by, he’d be kicking himself forever.
He was moving before he could even think, the finger of his free hand working with a mind of his own as they tap gently on the side of your chair. His heart beat sky rockets when you jump, but he only feels himself get harder when he sees it doesn’t stop your rapidly moving hand.
“Say no,” he whispers regardless of his growing need to touch you, “say no cause I cannot ruin this friendship.”
“No offense Yang,” he almost collapses at how winded you sound, but also at the promise that you’re still comfortable enough to shorten his name, “but if what we’re doing now didn’t ruin it, I don’t think anything will.”
“Thank fuck,” he speaks too loudly again as he moves his chair next to yours, his hand brushing against the side of your bare leg as it leans against the arm of your chair, “cause I wanna touch you so bad dude.”
“Hmmmm,” you hum out as his words swirl your brain like a blender, your heart rapidly pumping against your chest. You’d be a liar if you tried to act like the idea didn’t cause a new wave of arousal run over your body. Your answer comes before you can even think of the consequences.
“Please,” the word being your only verbal response before you rip your hand away from your body, your legs falling wider apart as an invitation. Your body jumps in protest as you deny yourself the orgasm that was slowly building, and Yangyang immediately jumps into action to compensate.
The first touch of his fingers is unsure, a hesitation in his muscles as he tries to convince himself that what’s happening is real. He isn’t sure what’s hotter to him in that moment, the way you whimper with a slight pout to your lips when he finally presses his digits to your swollen clit, or the way your eyes remain locked on the animated porn.
He’s battling between the two, when you show him something better. Your hand moves wildly in the air for only a moment, before you're pushing it under his arm. It doesn’t take you much exploring before you find where his hand slowly moves against his length. Your hand swats gently at his in a way that weirdly reminds him of the way you swat at him when he does something he’s not supposed to, and after his brain catches up with your motions, he lets go.
He thinks his heart probably stops when your hand wraps around him, your wrist immediately moving at the same pace as his fingers. His eyes slam shut for a second, a desperate attempt to hold off his orgasm, before they open slightly again.
He tries to do the same as you and keep his eyes trained on the video, and it works a few times, but as you gush and twitch against his unrelentingly moving fingers. He feels like one of his biggest fantasies has come to life in front of him, the whining sound of his name from your lips music to his ears.
You babble and squirm, your orgasm approaching you much faster than it has ever before. There’s something so jarring and new about the video that flashes in front of your eyes, and combining that with your best friend playing you not much differently than he’d played his game not long before made you feel like you were losing your grip on reality.
You’re vaguely aware that your hand flexes around his length, and fear that maybe your hold may be too rough immediately leaving your mind when you hear him let out a pleased groan. The sound also momentarily replaces the fear that filled you from actually looking at the boy that sits next to you, and you feel your head jerking to look at his face scrunched in pleasure.
The wind is knocked from your lungs when your eyes meet his again, neither of your stares faltering like you assumed they would. Instead the eye contact encourages you both, and you feel your hands pick up their pace.
You thank the universe for Yangyang’s reflexes as he finds no trouble in following your antsy jerking hips, his fingers never shifting away from your buzzing clit. He’s also completely unfazed as your thighs clamp around his wrist, and instead his now free hand moves to grab at your knee that’s closest to him, and pull harshly to hold your legs spread.
The angle his body is now turned leaves him leaning on his side, and he shows no hesitation to using the new position to his advantage as he begins thrusting his hips to fuck your fist.
You feel as if there’s another force around you that forces you to stare at one another, your hands and hips becoming frantic as you both inch closer and closer to your finish.
The video had ended moments before, but neither of you move to choose another. Too distracted by the other bodies, both of your breaths pick up right before the point of hyperventilating.
You feel yourself right on the edge, the beginning of your orgasm making your toes curl and your back arch off the back of the chair. Just from the stimulation on your clit, you can feel yourself falling, but when he notices that you’re starting to crumble, his fingers slip down until they push into you making you gasp loudly.
With his middle and ring finger pistoning in you at the same pace as his hips and the heel of his hand digging and rubbing into your clit, you finally start to come. If it wasn’t for his determined pace, your fluttering walls would push him out, but he fights against your body with a deep grunt as he curls the digits to pull against the nerve inside you that makes your eyes roll back into your skull.
With your mouth hanging open, silent moans and squeaking whimpers popping from your throat, he’s sure he stares at a defiled angel. He knew he always found you attractive, even more attractive when you first took his raunchy jokes in stride, but as you come so beautifully around his fingers, he decides you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever seen.
Just watching your come is enough to push him over the edge, but as it makes your muscles tense, your hand flexes and shakes as you hold him. With a few more pulses of his hips, he’s coming with his lip tucked between his teeth and his eyes trained on where you wrap around his fingers, your noise of surprise at the feeling of his come shooting across your hand only making his orgasm stronger.
With shaking legs, he falls back into his chair, his hand pulling from your sensitive skin, and his softening length slipping from your fingers.
Silence falls over the room, the only sound being the angry sound of his computer's fan and your evening breaths. You pull your limbs into your body as you try to get more comfortable in the seat, and as you try to wrap your arms around yourself, you notice the evidence of his orgasm that sticks to the side of your hand.
You’re moving before you can even think about your actions or how weird they could be to the boy next to you, your hand lifting up to your face and you tongue peaking out to lick at the sticky substance. You jerk slightly at the taste, but in a thought of self challenge and a simple ‘fuck it,’ you slide the flat of your tongue up the side of your hand, collecting everything he left behind, before swallowing deeply.
You hear a muffled sound of surprise to your side, the sound making your head whip to the side as you remembered your possible audience. Your heart beats fast as you panic at the idea of him finding your action gross, but as you look you see him in a very similar position.
Yangyang grins around his fingers that were once drenched in your orgasm, but now sit licked clean in his teasing mouth. There’s a slight popping noise as he pulls them hesitantly from his lips, and his devious smile only grows before he speaks.
“Oh so we’re both like gross, gross huh?”
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bluwails · 4 years
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Ive been real inspired by @chipper-smol 's au. I find myself snickering at Ghost/feral's antic mainly because I have young siblings and in my home there is never a dull moment. Child antics are literally my life rn and I cant help but relate.
So while on a nostalgic trip i was struck with this poorly written fic. And I hope you enjoy.
No edits because we die like men!
The time for rest had asserted its hold over Hallownest again as bugs wound down from the days toils. The servants and knights had quietly excused themselves to their personal quarters and the kingsmoulds that marched dutifully down each hall had slowed to a silent pace.
The white Lady had taken in the idea to walk the palace before retiring to her personal quarters for the evening. Dryya, her most respected and loyal guard, walked quietly behind her as she stiffled a yawn much to the white lady's amusement. She had dismissed her hours ago to rest but she stubbornly stuck to her and insisted on being around to protect her on her leisurely stroll.
" Your majesty, you need not worry for me. I will-" Dryya gaped stiffling another sign of encroaching sleepiness," -be with you until you retire to your bedroom."
She still felt fascination bubble under the surface as she observed her; a warm aura seeping off of her.
As a higher being they will never need these things like rest or daily meals. But they merely adopted the actions to blend more with the society around them. Just like her dear wyrm, Things like sleep were never on the forefront of their mind. They could spend decades awake and unbothered by the need. But they made resting a habit to demonstrate that one should rest after work.
Shuffling down the halls toward her favorite veranda befor she heard an unfamiliar scuffling. It was hurried but small. Most likely a small bug.
"Behind me your majesty." Dryya hissed pulling her nail from her side her alert instantly raised. As late as it was not many would be awake, much less in the halls working so fervently.
As they turned the corner they spotted two familiar horns working quickly with a brush and bottles of ink.
It was the feral vessel.
" You cheeky Sqwib! " she screamed shocking the little vessel. Their small hand dropping the brush they'd use to vandalize the walls. "You are at it again!" Dryya huffed indignant at the vessel as she marched over, sheathing her nail, and quickly bonking them between the horns.
" Do you know how you terrified the Queen?" She growled seizing their ink colored hands. " and to top that, you dare vandalize the white palace yet again!"
"Dear knight, there is no reason to be so harsh. " the white Lady softly appealed. "The walls can be cleaned and the ink replaced but the trust from a child cannot." She calmly lectured using a branch to pet the vessel.
"You are to lenient with them my lady." She huffed releasing them. Dryya was no fan of the feral vessel. Time and time again they'd watch and suffer their pranks. Many a time her nail was stolen only for it to be returned muddy or, miraculously, bent at the tip.
She was not the only one of the five knights to have their belongings weaseled from them and returned in less then favorable conditions.
"They are just being a child Dryya." WL cooed as she slowly squatted in front of them. "Soften your heart towards them. If only for me."
The knight reluctantly huffed again as she faced away. "Praise the Queen's endless patience, you little tyrant, you are saved for now. "
The white Lady smiled warmly as she looked the small vessel over. At this time they were meant to be tucked away in bed. The schedule their father made, though strict was optimize for their healthy growth. She suspected in full that the pure vessel had curled themselves into bed without a second thought, while their sibling ran through the halls causing their daily commotion.
In all honesty, she found their outbursts charming. Each trick, prank and shenanigan they pulled continuously showed her how lively they truly were. When they'd arrived from the abyss with their sibling, she lamented at their sight. Seeing them as nothing more than walking corpses until she heard of what would honestly sound like a farce. They'd barely stepped foot into the white palace before they entered a meeting between the dreamers, with no command or reason, and unleashed the most ungodly revolting smell. Shocking and disgusting the entire gathering forcing them to vacate the room entirely.
When her wyrm ranted about them that evening on how they indignantly, stomping their tiny grub feet and blantly ignoring him, forced them to clean the entire room alongside the retainers as punishment she could not help but laugh in an odd mix of relief and joy releasing a knot in her chest she did not know she held.
Looking again to the picture on the wall it was of clearly her dear wyrm. Her giggle chimming like bells as she observed it further. It was simple and childish as but it was an accurate representation of her wyrm. His elegant crown like horns now simple zigzags, their fangs drawn large and silly, with their tongue poked out in a not very gentlemen manner. (She suspects this is how they saw their father when they ranted at them.) It was crude, hurriedly painted, and was encompassed by tiny hand marks and had all the makings of a goofy Caricature and she wished she could save it.
"I see the throws of art beckoned you from your deep sleep small one." knowing full well they did it to mess with the king again. "maybe we should have Lurien tutor you to bring out your talents?" She questioned aloud watching the vessel furiously shake their head from the corner of their eye.
"Then what brings you from bed?"
The child twisted at their fingers looking down as they snuck peeks at her face.
They signed quickly keeping their ink covered hands slightly in sight. But It obvious it was something else. It was no news to her that they held many things back from them. And the curiosity of what it could be danced in the back of her mind, but she refused to force them anymore than they'd allow.
"You know you require rest in order to grow." She purred gently as she angled her small one's mask toward her.
Their mask tilted in a way that mimicked a pouty huff. Her heart swelling at how cute they were. She could not help but poke a small amount of fun.
"So you do not wish to grow anymore?" She questioned exaggeratedly tilting her head and placing a branch to her cheek.
They seemed to freeze at the and mull the thought around in their head. To her, this was the sweetest gesture. She'd remembered when the two vessels first molted and got their bearings. Though they thought no one was watching, she caught them do a small jig in celebration of their new body. Wiggling their newly formed fingers, touching their more angled faces and observing their budding wings.
" I'd say you'd want to." She whispered calmly retrieving her handkerchief to clean them.
"How can one so small hold such large secrets?" She hummed wiping the pink ink from them.
The vessel signed, a cheeky air to them as they flexed their arms nearly rupturing her heart from cuteness alone.
"Dryya please get someone to assist in cleaning up. " with a bow Dryya reluctantly left grumbling to herself.
"Now as much as I would love for you and to stay up and get into all kinds of mischief. I would say its time for bed. " She cooed admiring their clean face.
The vessel gestured again with more emphasis.
"I see." She hmmed making a show of thinking of what to do. In reality she had an idea of what to do. Somewhere deep in her memory was a song that. She could not remember the face that sang it to her but she remembers it working nearly every time. Ushering her to sleep. "Then would you care to accompany me on the veranda?" She asked pointing to the large glass door not far behind them.
Nodding they streched their arms up towards her. Obligating the gesture she swept them up in her branches as she walked slowly to the door.
she allowed small blooms to bloom on her creating a pleasant perfume before sitting on her stool already set up outside.
The vessel signed again gesturing at themselves.
Chuckling she squeezed them close to her. "Not essentially. You are of two pale beings and void." She murred quietly; her light warming them as they sunk into her lap. "You don't really need sleep. But its good because it helps you grow." She hummed wrapping her branches around them.
They gestured wildly again wiggling their fingers above their head causing her to erupted in laughter.
"Yes." She snickered "maybe if my wyrm slept and rested more they would grow as well I will be sure to suggest it to them later." Feeling the small ones shoulders shake in signs of laughter she hugged them.
" you remind me much of him in his younger years." She thought aloud as the vessel shook their head furiously. " well the both of you refuse to sleep on time so I imagine you two are similar in that sense." She mused as the small threw a small tantrum.
"Very well, shall I sing you something to assist you to sleep?" They nodded sinking back into her lap, placing their head on her chest.
As they sat, staring out into the lush garden and flickering lumaflies below she hummed a quiet tone shutting her eyes calling upon the memory.
Her branch rubbing small circles into their child's back as her voice trilled lyrics long thought lost to her:
Lay down your head and I'll sing you a lullaby
Back to the years of loo-li lai-lay
And I'll sing you to sleep and I'll sing you tomorrow
Bless you with love for the road that you go
May you sail far to the far fields of fortune
With diamonds and pearls at your head and your feet
And may you need never to banish misfortune
May you find kindness in all that you meet
May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay
May you bring love and may you bring happiness
Be loved in return to the end of your days
Now fall off to sleep, I'm not meaning to keep you
I'll just sit for a while and sing loo-li, lai-lay
May there always be angels to watch over you
To guide you each step of the way
To guard you and keep you safe from all harm
Loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li, lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, loo-li, loo-li lai-lay
Loo-li, lai-lay
Only the soft breathing and the feeling their body relax and their shoulders ease indicated they drifted off.
"Sweet dreams my small one."
Thanks so much for reading. In all honesty i have only played hollowknight for about a month and half and im already so invested in the fandom. (I'm still getting my butt handed to me by ogrim. Please dungy boi stop throwing sh!t at me long enough so i can hit you. You broke all my fragile charms alreday!-🥺😢) You guys are so creative and fluffy and have no problem hurting my tender sensibilities.
For those curious the song is called sleepsong by secret garden. I used to listen to it ages ago before bed.
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serendipityjxmn · 3 years
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Chapter 12
TW: None
Words Count: 1.4k
Link to Masterlist
Link to Chapter 13
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The air is tense that morning. Your brows furrow, thinking that you have to share the ride with Jimin now that everyone knows he’s your husband. Nearing the car, you notice there’s unfamiliar face among Jimin’s security. He usually has two with him, one is his bodyguard and the other being his bodyguard as well as his driver. You never really get the chance to know them apart from their name, considering you’ve never shared the ride with your husband.
He doesn’t say anything through the ride, his eyes glued to his tab, no doubt reading the morning news. You stare outside through the window, lost in your own thoughts.
Once you reach the company, you stand behind your husband but Jimin looks back and grabs your hand in his, startling you. It takes you a moment to process everything but not long for you to realise it’s just for show yet you can’t help having fluttered heart, walking hand in hand in public with your husband for the first time.
Reaching your desk, Irene simply watches the two of you as he speaks several things to Mina who’s at the desk as well, but haven’t yet let go of your hand.
He turns to you then and you stiffen immediately. “See you at lunch.” He says, way too soft and you feel like punching him for how he’s making you feel. His thumb and index finger cups your jaw briefly and gently before he leaves for his room.
It’s just a show, you tell yourself.
Another cons of all this travesty, is that Irene is handing you a lot of things that require you to personally see Jimin. She seems keen to let you handle him entirely.
“What do you think about this?” Jimin’s voice echoes in the whole room.
Huh? You look at him, puzzled. Is he really asking for your opinion? “I- I don’t really know all about- umm, maybe you should ask-“
“If I need a professional’s advice I would’ve asked Jinyoung. Besides, you sat through the meeting with me as well. I need your opinion.” Jimin says firmly.
You look at him hesitantly. You honestly have no idea about business world. But since this relates slightly about art, which you might know an inkling about, you answer him. “I think it’s good if you accept Wangji Co to handle the cover. They’ve been in the industry for long yet they always have fresh ideas. Apart from that, you can ensure you have a good term with Taiwan since you have their company involved.”
He remains silent for a moment, staring at you so deeply you silently pray you’re not flushing. Then he nods. “We will be meeting one of the arts director in charge. You will accompany me.” He glances at the watch. “I’ll be done in 10 minutes.”
He simply says and you take it as a sign you’re dismissed.
You take one last look in the mirror. This is your first time going out in public with your husband. Although it is work related, you’re still nerved out. You’ve never accompanied him to any event. Irene apparently never does too. Sure enough. When you google your husband, he never seems to have pictures taken with other women.
When you head downstairs, you feel your heart skips a beat when you see your husband, dressed smartly in impeccable black suit. His ash grey hair had been styled and he looks so good looking you almost want to cry.
Jimin on the other hand though, has his brows furrowed and lips pursed when he takes in your appearance.
“What on earth are you wearing?” He asks once you’re close enough.
You gulp. You’ve searched through every dress in the huge closet in the limited time Jimin gave you and this was the most modest dress you could find. You’re wearing a long dress that has a huge slit in front from your thigh to bottom. Luckily, the slit is not high enough to reveal scars you have on your upper thigh. To make it worse, the dress has such huge cleavage opening space, you’ve tried bringing your long hair to front in an attempt to cover your cleavage as much as you can. “I- I’m only wearing what’s in the closet.”
He tongues his cheek and you swear he looks so hot. “I’ll speak with Mrs. Lee about your wardrobe,” is all he says before you’re ushered into his car.
Even by looking at his side profile, Jimin looks so stunning you can’t help but stare in awe.
“Take a picture, I think that’ll last longer.” He snaps and you look away immediately. How does he even know without even looking at you, you shake your head.
It’s a launching event as well as exhibition by the director Jimin’s supposed to meet, Mr. Choi.
He speaks with several people and you just obediently follow after him, taking notes of who they are. A while later, you feel the urge to pee but you decided to wait until the main launching event is done before excusing yourself to the washroom.
As soon as you’re done, your eyes seek your husband immediately between the rows of art and crowds of people. As you make your way through the hallway, you find yourself drawn to an art hung on the wall, illuminated with a warm light above it, further enunciating its creativity.
It’s a woman, alone and she’s sitting down hugging her knees.
Something tugs your heart and the more you stare at the painting, the more you feel your eyes are watery.
“It’s called the Isle of Sorrow.” A voice beside you says, making you jump. You turn to see Jimin, his eyes towards the painting in front the both of you.
“They say she lost her will to love again that’s why she’s wallowing in sorrow.”
“It could also be she’s unable to love the person she desires.” You hesitate but continue to say when Jimin remains silent. “The painter.. I think he’s potraying contradiction. She’s in sadness and the background should’ve highlighted that as well, maybe monochrome settings? Yet the brushes are bold and the colors the painter chose are strong. Her love.. is strong. But she can’t give it to the other person. Perhaps because she loves someone who she shouldn’t, like an irony the life is.” You finish. Seconds later, your eyes widen and you bit your lip. What on earth did you just say?
A heavy silence sets between the two of you in the midst of casual conversations and regular laughter heard in the hall.
“Didn’t know you’re into art.” He says after several moments.
You only smile sadly. You don’t know a lot of things about me.
“I think art’s fascinating. I like when I can have control on it. What it can become. How it turns out. I don’t have a lot of it, growing up.” You say softly.
Jimin looks at you. “A lot of what?”
Your eyes find him too and you both lock gazes briefly. “Chance to change things.”
He holds your gaze steady before you look down first. You don’t think you’ll ever be able to hold his gaze for a long time, it’s hard enough to breathe as it is with him around.
“Me too.” He says quietly and you slowly look at him again. You notice his eyes has sorrow in it too, like the ones reflected in the painting before you. “I’ve always had to live the path set for me. Kinda funny, cause I’ve never been close to my parents but they expect me to receive everything blindly. There’s always pressure on my shoulder and I can never let myself fail,” he laughs as if mocking himself. “The moment I show my weakness, everyone flocks around me to take what I have. And anyone close to me can easily turn away from me.”
You stare at him as his expression hardens. You have to say something to comfort him. “Jimin.. I.. I would never.. do that.. to you.”
He looks at you then. Eyes pierced into yours. “You will. Once you know the reason behind this marriage. You’ll hate me too.”
You don’t know what to say to that but the coldness behind his words make shivers run down your spine making you shudder.
Jimin draws his breath before he shrugs his coat out of him. He then pulls you towards him, making you gasp. “It’s okay, you don’t have to-“ you start when he put his coat around your bare shoulder.
“Just stay still.” He says.
His hands are in front of you, fixing his coat snd dangerously close to your breast. You look up and there’s no mistaking his eyes that roam over your curves so you awkwardly struggle to look anywhere else.
He’s your own husband for god’s sake.. why do you have to feel so shy?
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A/N: So I actually ended up posting this chapter as scheduled 😂 there’s a sudden surge of things to be done this weekend and it was pretty hectic 🥺 I’m sorry guys I’m a mere human I hope you guys aren’t mad 🥺
Oh and i’m not really the most knowledgeable about art, but art is subjective and it all depends on how one intepret so yeah 😂
anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter I thought it ended in a pretty cute way hehehehe
Link to Chapter 13 Posted on 210426 9:00PM
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