#JUST so they could possibly realize i dont appreciate their company at all as much as i used to

[kpostedsum]

only you

draco malfoy x reader, harry potter x reader

summary: when harry asks you to get closer to a specific someone, what happens if you get too close?

based off this tiktok

song: dark red - steve lacy

a/n: there is infidelity in this fic whomppp and not edited

masterlist | taglist

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

I don't know it but I feel it comin'

Might be so sad, might leave my nose running

the sky was gloomy on your way to hogwarts, everyone was on edge with the return of voldemort. you stayed with harry, ron and hermione all throughout the summer at the burrow preparing for your sixth year.

“he has to be a deatheater, his father is in azkaban so it makes sense if voldemort would have made him a deatheater in his fathers place” your boyfriend harry tried to explain to ron and hermione. you have to admit, he could have a point— however, no matter how bad draco is you didn’t want to think that of a sixteen year old boy. “well how do you suppose we find out?” asked ron as he awaited an answer from everyone.

“i have a plan but i don’t suppose harry would be too fond of it” hermione said with a waver in her voice. “since y/n comes from a respectable pureblood family, perhaps she can get closer to draco and confirm our suspicions for us—”

“absolutely not. i don’t want y/n any where near malfoy, who knows how dangerous he is” harry said defensively. you have to admit, hermiones plan is smart and is probably the most realistic one there is.

“it’s okay harry” you soothed him. “i’ll be fine, hermiones plan makes the most sense” you said.

“so what’s the plan?”

I just hope she don't wanna leave me

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you, and only you, baby

“love, i still don’t think this is a good idea, what if you get hurt?” harry said as you two were cuddled on his bed together in the boys dorm, basking in each others warmth and security.

“he won’t hurt me harry, he’s a boy just like you— i’m sure if he is a deatheater he isn’t handling it as well as you think. i’ll be okay” you said. a soft silence stilled between the two of you as you enjoyed being wrapped up in your boyfriends arms, occasionally rubbing your nose against his just to hear his giggle that you love so much.

“i’ve just lost a lot of people, i don’t want you to be one of them. if something were to happen to you i’d light the world on fire and never let a flame touch you, just to keep you safe.” he said with a certain look of truth, loyalty and despair swimming in his eyes as he looked at you.

“i’m not going anywhere harry, i promise. i love you, only you” was the last thing you said before the both of you fell asleep, body parts tangled with eachother.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

it’s been 3 days since that night with harry, and since then you’ve been trying to get closer to draco, but every time you tried he seemed to disappear. tonight you decided you’d wander outside of the slytherin common room in hopes of him showing up.

“what are you doing here, don’t you belong with the other gryffindors and saint potter?”

there he was. the voice you’ve been waiting to hear all week.

“i’ve grown quite bored of them right now, i figured i need a little excitement in my life. which is exactly why i am here, wandering outside the slytherin common room hoping there’s someone here to cure my boredom.” you said trying to sound as convincing as possible.

“get to the point y/n” he said walking closer to you. “what do you really want? is potter not fulfilling your needs anymore?” he smirked as he backed you against the wall, caging your frame beneath his.

“harry and i are fine, thank you very much” you rolled your eyes. “he’s just too busy right now”

“so you think i’m the cure to your boredom” draco said raising his brows, curious as to where this conversation is leading too.

“i know you’re the cure to my boredom.”

Something bad is 'bout to happen to me

Why I feel this way I don't know maybe

I think of her so much it drives me crazy

I just don't want her to leave me

you and draco have been hanging out every night since that day. some days he’d be there and you’d both talk until the sun rise, and others he wouldn’t show.

you knew you had to ask him about it soon for harry’s sake but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so, atleast not tonight.

“what do you mean you haven’t found out yet? you’ve been spending almost every night with him— which you could be spending with me by the way, and you still found out nothing about him. what do you even do then?” harry exclaimed, clearly frustrated over the lack of information and the fact that his girlfriend has been hanging out with the enemy.

“i can’t just straight up ask him harry!” you say a bit louder than intended. “he has to trust me first, and how can i build that trust with him if we don’t hang out. all we do is talk, i promise.” you said, your voice softening as you weren’t in the mood to argue with your boyfriend right now.

“can we just go to sleep please, i miss you” you pleaded.

“yeah, yeah we can” he said pulling you towards him in his bed, allowing your head to rest in the crook of his neck inhaling his scent. a scent that used to be so familiar but you can feel being replaced.

“it’s only me right?” he asked staring towards his ceiling.

“yes harry, it’s only you. i love you.” you said reassuring him, but also reassuring yourself.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong with you and only you, baby

“draco, can i ask you something” you asked looking towards him as he sat on the other side of you looking at the stars on from the astronomy tower.

“what is it?” he responded.

“how come sometimes you don’t show up, some days i’ll sit here waiting for you to show up and you never do. i miss you” you said softly, hoping you can get some information out of him.

“it’s cute that you miss me, i’d be lying if i said sometimes i didn’t miss your presence as well.” he said turning towards you and sending you a smirk. crawling over to him and resting your head on his shoulder, you relaxed against him.

“you know i don’t think you’re as bad as harry makes you out to be” you admitted. it’s true though, harry makes him out to be someone vain, however you find his presence comforting. you look forward to the nights you spend with him, more than you’d like to admit. “you’re quite nice when you want to be and are really good company” you explained.

“oh yeah?” he turned to you.

“yeah” you nodded. “i think harry is blinded by hate, he doesn’t know i’ve been hanging out with you and i’m sure if he were to find out he’d think you’re hurting me.” you partly lied.

“but i don’t think you could hurt me even if you tried” you said peering up at him with a soft smile and big genuine eyes. he adored the sight but he’d never admit it.

“i dont think your boyfriend would appreciate you talking about him like this to his enemy, now would he love?” draco said with a smirk. he knew over the past few weeks you’ve been hanging out your love for harry has been fading, even if you haven’t seen it yourself.

“draco” you said breaking the soft silence. “i have something to confess”

“well what is it?” he said, turning towards you giving you his full attention.

“do you think it’s wrong for someone to feel something for someone they’re not supposed to feel for” you asked, staring into his stormy grey eyes.

“i feel like i should feel guilty, but i don’t. if anything i feel safe.” you continued.

“what do you mean by that?” draco asked, taking his hand and slowly caressing your cheek encouraging you to continue.

when he touched you it felt as if the stars were dancing across your skin. you haven’t felt that way with harry in a while. it felt as if you could be anything in the world, and for some reason, you wanted to be his.

“is it wrong that when i’m with you, i get the same feeling i used to feel with him” you asked. “i mean, for some reason i can’t seem to stay away from you, and i don’t think i want too. i feel safe with you”. you said softly, hoping he understood what you meant.

“i used to think i was crazy meeting up with you every night, but i think it’s the best decision i’ve ever made.” he expressed. “you’ve become something i look forward too everyday, someone i seek out in crowds without even realizing it. i don’t think i want to stay away from you either” he finished.

the air stilled between you two, the only sounds heard were the soft winds of the night.

“draco… can i kiss you?” you asked.

“if you do, i don’t think i’d be able to stop” he confessed.

“and what if i don’t want you to stop” you said leaning closer and pressing your lips against his.

his lips were soft. slightly cold but it was addictive. kissing him felt so good, you might have even forgot how to breathe, but breathing wasn’t important in that moment.

“i’ve waited— i’ve waited so long for this, but i didn’t want to ruin what you and saint potter had” he said as he pulled you to straddle his lap and you pressed harsh kisses against his neck, craving to feel him.

“you didn’t ruin a thing” you said in between kisses. “i ruined it the day i decided to seek you out outside your common room” you continued breaking the kiss.

“i’m glad you did” he said resting his forehead against yours.

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

whatever you had going on with draco continues for months, hidden kisses between classes and tangled limbs in his bed at night.

the only problem was harry.

“as much as i’d love to brag about stealing potters girlfriend to everyone, i don’t think i can do that” draco said as you both laid in bed together in each others embrace.

“i know, but i can’t leave him yet. it’s just not the right time” you said turning to face him.

“i know” he said turning towards you. “if anything, i enjoy sneaking around with you” he says as he presses light kisses to your neck.

“what are you thinking about” he asks as he notices you’re not paying attention to him.

“harry’s probably wondering where i am, i should probably go to him” you said sadly.

“just be back tomorrow, alright?”

“i’ll always come back to you draco, i promise” you said pressing a kiss to his lips and heading to the gryffindor common room.

What if she's fine

It's my mind that's wrong

And I just let bad thoughts

Linger for far too long

“you’ve been out quite a bit haven’t you” ron said as you entered the common room. his eyes, hermione’s and harry’s eyes all on you.

“i’ve just been trying to get the information you wanted from him” you lied as you took a seat next to hermione.

“we’ll have you gotten anything?” she asked

“no, i haven’t. i don’t think hes a deatheater, i mean it’s been months since i’ve been hanging with him— he would have told me by now” you explained.

“what do you mean he doesn’t trust you, all you do is be with him and stare at each other in class. i wouldn’t be surprised if he had a bloody crush on you by now” harry said quite aggressively.

“we only talk, i’ve told you that already” you said sternly even though it was a lie.

“how about we all go to sleep and discuss this in the morning, it’s quite late” ron said trying to diffuse the tension.

“i agree, it’s too late and none of us are thinking straight” hermione added on to ron’s statement and going straight to the girls dorm, ron going to the boys dorm.

Don't you give me up, please don't give up

Honey, I belong, with you, only you, baby

you and harry were left in the common room alone, the sound of fire crackling becoming more evident and loud as you tried to avoid his gaze.

“i’m sorry for lashing out like that” he said breaking the silence. “i know you and malfoy have nothing going on, i guess i’ve just missed you.”

“i missed you too harry” you said looking over to him.

“c’mere” he said tugging you towards him so you sit on his lap. “i love you, y’know. i don’t think i’d be able to do any of this without you” he continued looking into your eyes with a look of desperation of love.

a look you couldn’t return.

“i love you too harry, only you.” the lies came out your mouth before you could even stop them.

“only you, i promise.”

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you, babe

Only you, my girl, only you, babe

Only you, darling, only you

-

taglist: @mauvea @teenwolfbitches28 @ilygw @nic0lodean @s1ater @henqtic @justreadingficsdontmindme @i-love-scott-mccall @harmqnia @gwlvr @alishahpotter

[willowbleedsonpaper]

Shattered (Part 2)

James Potter x Reader

Read the first part here!

W.C. : 8055... sorry (?)

Warnings: Blood, sadness, heartbreak, my english, I didn’t proof read, that it is 01:00 am. Idk, you tell me :)

A/N: I dont know if this is what you all requested, I hope you like it and that you enjoy it. Thank you so much for your patience, I know I’m a slow writer but we can blame my brain for getting distracted way to easily. I spent one hour looking for a song I listened to years ago in the middle of writing this, and that was just today. Again, thank you for your patience.

Likes, reblogs, comments and keyboard smashes are appreciated.

Sirius stayed back with a knot in his stomach, the anticipation he felt as he saw you and James walk out of the Gryffindor common room more than he could bear. You had led James with the hold of your hand, looking back at Sirius with a small smile before you disappeared from his sight. He knew what you were about to do. He knew and he fought every single nerve in his body to not follow the two of you, rocking on his feet as he awaited your arrival. 

His stomach dropped at the sight of James, walking back all alone. He raised his eyes over the people crowded at the entrance, waiting for your bright smile to meet his eyes, but you never arrived. James was all alone.

“Prongs.” he called his friend as he walked past them “Where are you going?” he held back from asking about you. It was clear you weren’t coming back.

James stopped at the stairs to the dorms, his hand supporting his weight on the wall “It’s been a long week.” he muttered, voice barely audible over all the fuzz “I’m going to bed.” he stated, never meeting his friends face as he kept his face low.

Sirius placed his cup down, walking over his friend who had gotten up the stairs. He called his name without a response, jumping the last steps towards their dorm “James!” he called once he catched up to him, placing his hand on his shoulder to stop him.

James jumped at the feeling of his hand, finally lifting his head. His cheeks were stained with tears, his lower lip trembling as he stared at Sirius “Not now, Pads.” he mumbled, taking his hand from his shoulder and letting it fall “Not now.”

Sirius froze there, not saying a word as James closed the door behind him. He had learned when to leave James alone, walking down the steps back to the common room with a defeated feeling in his chest. Your name popped in his head as he remembered his words to you.

I don’t think he’s pretending anymore. 

What had he done?

He never made it back to his group of friends, his cup long forgotten in one of the tables of the common room. He walked as fast as he could, ignoring the looks from students as his head turned at every possible spot you could be, his feet with a mind of its own as he ended up at the door of your dorm. 

His hand shook as he neared the door, the soft twist of the knob making his stomach wake with a thousand feelings, his palms sweaty as he pushed the door open. 

He called your name softly, heart beating fast inside his chest. His eyes adapted quickly to the darkness, moving wildly all over the room to find nothing. He was about to give up, pulling the door with him as he walked out when a flicker of light caught his eye. He frowned, going back inside looking for the source of the little light, the crunching sound of something under his weight making him stop instantly. He took a few steps back, the flicker blinding him once more as he crunched down and suddenly he saw it.  Sharp pieces of what looked like a mirror were scattered  all over the floor.

He stayed there for a second, the thud sound coming from the bathroom making him go there, his knuckles touching the wood as he placed his ear over the door. “Y/N?” he called again. Not getting a response, he opened the door, the light bright in comparison to the room. And there, sitting on the cold tiled floor, he saw you hugging your knees as you sobbed quietly.

“Oh, darling.” he muttered, kneeling to your side in a second.

Your grip around your legs tightened, turning to your side to avoid looking at him. You ignored his calls and questions, his soft voice making the knot on your throat tighter as you wanted nothing more than left yourself cry and scream. You wanted to scream the pain away.

“Just leave, Sirius.” you said in between sobs, hiding your face in the piece of clothing in your hands. 

But he couldn’t bring himself to leave you, his eyes widening in worry as he saw you crumble down again. Your sobs were loud once more as you angrily cleaned the tears from your face. His face fell on the one thing you clung onto, his heart falling down inside his chest as he recognized the fabric as the sweater James had gifted you. He didn’t know what to do, this was his fault! You told him not to give you hope and nevertheless you listened to his foolish advice. You went ahead and confessed everything to James. It was his fault you were in so much pain and he didn’t know how to make it better. He wasn’t sure he could. Sirius wasn’t good at this, he had never been in this position before. He couldn’t tell you it would be alright, that it would stop hurting at some point. He couldn’t give you advice because he knew that was his mistake in the first place. He could only do the one thing he knew worked for him, the thing James himself did for him. Be there for you.

“I’m sorry.” he mumbled, his hand going to hold your hand, the feeling of warmth making his heart stop. He immediately let go, holding his palm up to the light to see the red stains there, his face snapping at you as he went to the sink, grabbing a small towel from there as he rushed back to your side “Y/N, you’re bleeding.” he said hurriedly, clutching your hand against his and carefully tapping the soft fabric over your palm.

Your head snapped up instantly, finally turning to him as he held your hand, seeing the small cuts on your palms “I thought it stopped.” you told him, voice raspy as you sat straight. 

He shook his head, taking your other hand in his as he began cleaning that one too “You knew you were bleeding?” he asked.

You nodded your head “I-uh..I tripped while holding my mirror.” you lied “Stopped the fall with my hands but ended up falling over the broken mirror. I cleaned them before, I thought they had stopped bleeding.” you said with an apologetic look.

He gave you a questioning look but said nothing about it “Don’t they hurt?” he asked, the worry in his voice rising as he saw you shake your head “You felt them, right?” 

You shrugged your shoulders, letting him clean your palms. “I felt them, they don’t hurt.” you stated.

His movements slowed down considerably, the towel like a feather over your skin. He looked up at you through his lashes, your void eyes making him look away immediately. You stayed in silence for a long while, him noticing your wounded knees as well and doing careful work on them. 

Once he was done, he stayed there by your side. You didn’t have the energy to tell him to leave, to remind him that he was on the wrong side of this messy situation and that he belonged at his best friend’s side.

“You should go and get some rest, Sirius.” you said, not looking at him but in front of you, staring at the same spot you had been staring for a while now “It’s past midnight.”

He didn’t realize when he got back to the floor again, both of you sitting there like two defeated warriors. He certainly felt defeated, the prospect of the weeks ahead not giving him any hope. 

“They won’t notice I’m gone.” he said in a whisper. “The party is still going, your friends are still there too.”

You frowned, a dry chuckle leaving your throat “They’re hardly my friends, just good company and nice roommates.” you said, not giving it so much importance as you lifted your head from his shoulder, not realizing when you had leaned on him in the first place, and moved to sit in front of him, your legs crossed so the two could fit in the small space “You know for a fact they will be looking for you.” you said as firmly as you could muster “Did you tell anyone you were coming here?” 

He shook his head, his hair falling to the sides of his head when he looked down “I didn’t even know where I was going.” he admitted with a humorless laugh “I saw James alone and after I talked to him I went to look for you. I was about to leave when I saw…” his words trailed down, dying on the tip of his tongue as he remembered the broken mirror on the room. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, the mirror coming back to your head as the crashing sounds replayed in your memory over and over again. He caught you on your lie.

“How’ s James?” you asked in a whisper, not really knowing what you expected to  hear.

“He’s, I- I really don’t know.” he admitted “He went straight to bed and asked me to leave him alone.”

You nodded your head, moving your hair out of your face, taking a good look at Sirius for the first time that night. He looked more broken than you felt, his face was contorted in pain as he never met your eyes. “Sirius.” you called him with a soft smile, his eyes lifting to look at you “Why does it look like you’re the one with a broken heart?” you asked.

He remained silent  for a while,  studying your face as you waited for his answer “It’s my fault.” he murmured “You told me not to give you hope and that’s exactly what I did.”

Your smile turned into a sad one, playing with your hands and the little charm on the bracelet you wore “It’s not your fault I fell for him.” you told him “We made a deal and I knew why he was doing this. If anything, it’s James' fault for being so bloody charming.” you said with laugh, the single tear running down your cheek betraying you and the pang you felt in your chest. 

Sirius handed you a tissue, watching you clean your cheeks “Maybe there is no one to blame.” he said lightly “You can’t tell your heart how to feel, right? Not your fault.” he said, lifting a finger as he counted “I tried to help and it went awfully wrong.” you chuckled at his words, a second finger lifting as he sighed “And James can’t tell his heart how to feel either.” he dropped his hand, looking at you.

You nodded, pursing your lips but not disagreeing with him.  “Who are you and what did you do with Sirius?” you joked, watching him roll his eyes “When did you become so wise?” you asked and he shook his head.

“Like an hour ago.” he blurted, making the both of you laugh trutfully for the first time in the night. “I should probably go.” he said with a sigh, standing from the floor and helping you to your feet, you walked in silence to the door of your dorm. He stopped there, turning one last time as he gave you a quick hug, murmuring goodnight at the side of your head. 

He was a few stairs down when your fingers wandered back to the bracelet in your wrist, your eyes falling back as you held the small charm in between your fingers “Sirius!” you called him as you ran down the few steps he had taken, unfastening the chain and pulling it away. “Can you take this with you?” you asked him, holding it up for him to see “Please.”

He looked at it, his eyes moving from the bracelet and up to you. “What should I do with it?” he asked, opening his palm and you softly placed it over his hand, closing his hand in a fist. 

You lifted your eyes to his, hugging yourself as you shrugged “Whatever you want.” you said, letting your shoulders fall. He bit his lip, nodding his head and putting the bracelet inside his pocket. A sigh left you as you saw him “Thank you.” you whispered.

He smiled tightly at you, nodding his head in your way “Of course.” he said, leaving you and your dorm behind for the night.

“Sirius?” Remus’ voice echoed in the common room, the place a mess as he made quick work in cleaning the space. The sound of footsteps caught his attention, walking to the stairs with the hope of seeing him there only to find Peter “Anything?” he asked desperately.

Peter shook his head, the sigh that left Remus’ lips cut short “Remus, I think Sirius can wait.” Peter said urgently, getting a confused look from Remus “It’s James.” he pointed up to where their dorm.

Remus dropped the bag in his hand, doubtfully following Peter “What about James?” he asked.

“I don’t know.” He answered, signaling for Remus to follow as he jumped the last steps up, pushing the dorm open.

Remus walked inside, Peter close on his tail. He didn’t see anything weird at first, checking Sirius’s bed before his eyes fell on the empty bed beside it. He looked around, looking for his friend when Peter lifted his hand, pointing right to the window and the figure sitting there. 

“Prongs?” he called hesitantly, walking near until he was sitting next to him. When he got no answer he turned to Peter, the same Peter who just shook his face and pointed back at James with the shrug of his shoulders. Remus tilted his head, a sigh leaving his lips as he patted the place next to him for Peter to sit. “James.” he called firmly.

James only moved his head, resting his head on his knees as he hugged his legs. The sniffing sounds coming from him filling the room “I fucked up, Moony.” he muttered “I fucked up real bad.”

Remus wondered what he could be referring to, Peter looking between his two friends with the same confusion written all over his face. They weren’t left in the dark for long, James pouring his mind and heart out to his friends as they listened carefully. Not one thing was left unsaid, not the deal, the gifts he gave you, his initial plan to make Lily jealous, everything that happened that night, everything he didn’t understand. 

“You were pretending all this time?” asked Peter, voice shaky as he awaited for them to confirm he understood everything, but Remus’ look towards James made him stay in silence. 

If looks could kill, James would be dead. And if there was something worse after death he would be there as well. The silence was so thick, James felt like breathing became hard, swallowing the lump in his throat as he looked down at the floor, not having the courage to look his friend in the eye.

“You’re an idiot.” said Remus. Nothing else. He left the words settle in, not giving a further explanation as he saw the guilt stir inside James’s chest.

“I know Moony, but…”

“There is no but here. You already know you fucked up, you said it yourself.” he said, his voice awfully calm as his face screamed a thousand emotions no one could nor wanted to name. 

James felt the tears gathered in his eyes once again, holding Remus’ gaze with a shaky stance. He cursed under his breath, running his hands through his hair until he reached his face, hiding in the safety of his palms “I don’t know what to do.” he admitted, words muffled but clear to everyone in the room. 

The door opened before anyone could say anything, the three friends turned towards the sound as they watched Sirius walk inside. He was completely oblivious to his friends all gathered around James, his steps faltering once he met the eyes of all on him. 

“We looked for you everywhere.” said Peter with a nervous smile “You left the party early.”

Sirius opened his mouth, the words forming on his tongue and dying there.

“You went to see her.” James said, voice low as he met Sirius’s eyes “Didn’t you?”

Sirius turned his eyes away at the mention of you, walking to his bed and taking his jacket off. He moved slowly around the room, head low as he avoided the answers he knew he would have to give sooner or later.

Remus called his name, successfully making him snap out his trance.

“Yeah, I did.” he said, doubtful if he should go and sit with them or keep his distance. But once Peter and Remus moved to the sides and made some space for him to join he didn’t hesitate.  

“How is she?” James asked, leaning his body forward.

“Better now.” he said dryly, not knowing how to explain the state he found you in. Not knowing in what state he left you in.

“What do you mean better now?” asked James in confusion, a frown set deep in his face. 

Sirius shook his head “It would be better if you two talked.” he said.

Remus chuckled, looking down before he met the confusion of all his friends at the sudden sound leaving his lips “I can’t believe I’m saying this but he’s right.” he said, cocking his head in Sirius’s direction. 

They all laughed, the air turning lighter as their laughs died down. 

The subject wasn’t addressed for the rest of the night, all of them going to sleep a couple of hours later with their hearts heaving inside their chests. You had always been friends with the Marauders, more close with James, but still. They would be, in a way, losing a friend. They knew how you acted, how you thinked, you would keep your distance from them at all cost. 

This plagued the minds of everyone as they went to sleep, some successfully getting some sleep while others didn’t have the chance. 

Getting out of bed was easier than you thought it would be. The ticking of the clock making you open your eyes earlier than most days, there was no point in staying in bed. You went to the bathroom and followed your routine, getting changed for the day in your robes. 

Twenty minutes later you were making your way through the empty halls of the castle, taking your time in getting to the Great Hall for breakfast as you enjoyed the chill morning air blowing in your face. You nuzzled your face in your scarf, feeling the soft material against your skin when the faintest of smells caught your nose, making your feet slow down as you looked down to the scarf. The pit in your stomach grew as you realized it wasn’t your scarf, not really, but the one James gifted you. There was no telling them apart, they were exactly the same scarf, except for the fabric that still lingered with his scent. It was clear for you it was his scarf, but no one else could know, so you kept going like nothing happened. In a way, he would be with you the rest of the day.

The day was just like any other for anyone watching, for anyone paying the minimum of attention. You made the effort of not standing out, which was an easy task, keeping yourself surrounded by your housemates in meals and during classes. No one even questioned you, no one asked where you went the previous night when you left with James, why you didn’t return. For the outside world you were still with James. For them, the previous night never happened. 

You envied them, but at the same time you didn’t. You wanted the hurt to stop, but you didn’t regret telling James how you felt. You tried and he didn’t feel the same way. Now it was time to heal. Time for you to move on. 

Only thing was, James remained one of the most popular students at Hogwarts. He was James Potter, Transfiguration prodigy, Captain of the Gryffindor quidditch team, known prankster and one of the Marauders. Everyone heard his name at least once a day and you weren’t the exception. Actually, you were far from being the exception, his name followed you everywhere you went. 

Two weeks had gone by and you had managed to successfully avoid him. Of course you saw him walk around the castle, your steps faltering at the sound of his voice, your eyes staring at him longer than you should, your heart skipped a beat at the sound of his  name, but you never  actually interacted with him, and for that you were grateful. You made sure you always were with someone by your side, you shared most of your classes with your best friend and in the ones you didn't’ you kept mostly to yourself, engaging with the professor and other students as you normally would. You went on with your life the way you did before James, before the deal. 

“Miss Y/LN.” Professor Mcgonagall called after class, your heart beating fast inside your chest as you slowly packed your things and walked to her desk, making time until everyone had walked out of the classroom.

“Professor.” you said, standing in front of her “Is there something wrong?” you asked, your voice surprisingly firm as you said it. 

“Oh, no.” she said, looking up at you through her glasses “On the contrary.” she pulled a parchment form beneath her desk, opening it for you to see. A sigh left your lips as you saw the list she showed you “Are you still looking for someone to tutor?” she asked, her smile widening as she said it.

You nodded your head, your excitement matching hers.

“In that case, I have the perfect candidate.” She said “It’s nothing complicated, he needs help in a few subjects and only for the upcoming exams if he wants to keep his position in the Quidditch team, and I have a feeling you will be happy to tutor him.”

“Really?” you asked, getting confused by her confidence in her choice “Who is it?”

She looked up at you, an amused smile playing on her lips “Potter, of course.” she said.

Your smile fell instantly and it didn’t go unnoticed by her, putting her parchment down as she focused on you “Is there something wrong?” she asked in concern.

You looked at her, smiling tightly “No. I mean, well… we’re not dating anymore.” you muttered the last words, sitting in the table behind you without a care if it was appropriate or not.

Just like yours, Professor Mcgonagall’s smile fell from her lips “Oh dear,” she said with a  sympathetic look on her face “Well it matters not if you are in a relationship with Potter or not, right now he is the only student who matches your schedule.” 

You knew what she meant. You started tutoring to get higher grades in your classes, you needed that extra, heartbroken or not.

“Of course,” you said, accepting the papers from her and reading quickly over her neat handwriting “Fridays at the library.” you said, Professor Mcgonagall nodding in approval as you went through the details.

Not five minutes later you were walking out of her classroom, papers in hand and your spirit lost once more. Why must fate be so cruel? 

James walked the halls of Hogwarts inside his own head. Friends waved in his way, professors called his name, people told him to watch where he was going. He waved back by pure memory muscle, not even noticing who he was waving back to; he hid inside his shell and ignored the words of his professors, words going in one ear and out through the other; he didn’t even stood for himself against others, muttering a low apology as he kept on his way. He was living on automatic. 

Friday evening, the clouds rolled on the sky as the sun started to set in the horizon, making the day darker and darker as he made his way to the library, the place with just enough light from the candles to walk around. He wanted to be somewhat prepared for the session with his tutor. He was supposed to meet with his tutor for the first time that day, Professor Mcgonagall giving him the details earlier that day, with a hard look on her face as she said he should be lucky to have the tutor she chose for him, but never actually giving their name. 

He needed this, he needed to keep up with his grades if he wanted to play quidditch, not even stay captain, just so they would let him play. 

For the past two weeks, Quidditch and his friends were the only thing keeping him at float, the only things that prevented him from sinking in the guilt he could feel around him, slowly reaching his neck, barely keeping his head out. He couldn’t afford to lose one of those things. 

He sat at the table farthest inside at the library, the book about the subjects he needed help the most open in a line in front of him. The words never settled as he read over and over the same page. He grunted, pushing the book away as the ones beside it fell to the ground. 

“What did the books ever do to you?” his face snapped up at the voice, meeting red hair and a bright smile. Lily placed the books back on the table, slowly taking the chair in front of him.

He raised an eyebrow, the sinking feeling in his chest lifting the slightest as Lily sat there with him “Are you my tutor?” he asked suspiciously.

Lily scoffed, looking at him before she rolled his eyes, shaking her head and resting her back against the chair “I have enough work with my classes as it is.” she said, looking over all the books he had gathered.

“Here I thought you were looking to spend more time with me.” he smirked, smiling but the facade falling as quickly as it appeared. He couldn’t even act like he once did.

She smiled, looking up at him in confusion “Aren’t you and Y/N dating?” she asked.

And then it dawned on him, they never officially broke up. No one knew what happened that night, not even he was sure what happened. “Yeah,” he muttered, head low as he scratched the back of his neck “Not anymore.” he added, looking up to see Lily’s reaction.

She raised her eyebrows, leaning back and crossing her arms over her chest “Thats’ a shame.” she said, taking James by surprise “You were almost tolerable when you two started dating.”

“What?” he blurted out.

“That’s why I’m here.” she explained, and James gave her a dirty look, earning a chuckle from her “You didn’t think I was here for you, did you?” he muttered a No under his breath, the smile on Lily’s face growing but she said nothing about it “I’ve been looking for her all over the castle, I just can’t find her.” she explained.

“Why are you looking for her?” he asked, his voice suddenly flat as all emotion was drained from him.

She chose to ignore it, sensing the change in his mood as soon as he mentioned her “You know, it’s not important.” she brushed it off, taking her bag from the floor “I’ll find her by myself later.”

She said her goodbyes, starting to walk when his hand grasped her wrist “Lily.” he said, her eyes never meeting his. “Why are you looking for YN?” he asked again, never letting go of her wrist. Lily had a hard look on her, shaking his hand out of his grasp, lifting her head as her eyes softened.  

“Y/N.” she breathed out, James' face turning into one of confusion until a sense he found himself missing every day for the past two weeks filled him once more. 

You smiled tightly, hand over the handle of your bag as your eyes moved up from where their hands were second ago. Looking immediately at Lily with a more warmer smile.

“Hi, Lily.” you greeted her, not once meeting James’ eyes “I can come back later, I didn’t mean to interrupt.” 

“Not at all,” she said, her body acting by itself as it leaned forward to talk but the words never appeared, her sudden burst  of energy dying down as she looked down at James. Her face fell but she covered it up quickly with a smile, reaching for her bag on the chair “I was just leaving, I’ll see you both around.” She bid her goodbyes and walked away. 

You followed her with your eyes, until her red hair disappeared in between the shelves.

“I guess you are my tutor.” James broke the silence and you finally looked at him, the pit in your stomach growing. You took the chair where Lily sat before, nodding your head at him “Y/N, I…”

“I am,” you confirmed, taking the chair where Lily sat before “I thought we could start with Herbology, since it’s your worst subject.” you said, cutting him short “I thought we could leave Charms and Transfiguration for last, you’re good at those and you’ll need little to no help.”

“Right.” he muttered, leaning back when you moved away from him. Taking a little too long in getting your notes, practically burying your face in your bag. 

The session was long, meeting once a week having its burden but one you were ready to carry. You had to help him with most of the subjects, but he was clever and you already knew how to teach him. He was doing most of the talking, asking questions when he got stuck in something. You wanted to smile, a soft smile forming but holding it back as you looked down at him. He was really clever, but he doubted himself, most of the session based on his questions to ensure he had the right point or idea. 

 “It’s getting late.” James said, closing his book softly as he stretched his arms over his head, a yawn escaping him as he pressed his eyes shut. He returned his eyes to you, your own gaze lost on some spot behind him “Y/N?” he asked, waving a hand before you. 

“Huh?” you asked softly, your eyes taking a little longer to snap back to reality, immediately falling to the now empty table “Right.” you muttered, grabbing your things and shoving them down your bag.

“Hey, Y/N.” said James, lowering his head to meet your eyes “I think we need to…”

You didn’t let him finish “I’ll see you next Friday. If you need anymore help, just find me and we can arrange something.” you repeated the speech you had been going over in your head long before you arrived at the library, watching him nod you breathe out in relief “Goodnight.” you said, walking past him and out of the library, everything James wanted to say left hanging in the air. 

“Hello, stranger.” you slowly raised your head, your blank look softening as you moved your things to the side. 

“What are you doing here Sirius?” you asked with amusement, turning to the side towards his usual spot, Remus and Peter deep in conversation to even  notice your eyes on them.

He scoffed, taking the seat with an offended look “Two weeks.” he said, palm hitting the table with each word “Two weeks since we last talked and you ask what am I doing here?”

You shrugged, making a face as you lowered your head “I’ve been here all the time.” you said back “Besides, we’ve gone longer without exchanging a word and the world it’s still spinning.”

“Glad to see you missed me.” he muttered, grabbing pieces of fruit from your plate despite you slapping his hand away “Stop doing that, I’m stealing your food anyway.” he hissed, stretching his hand when you took your plate away from him. 

You gave up in the end, giving him the plate which he took with a smile “I’m going to class now.” you said, watching him nod “Do you need anything?” you asked him, grabbing your bag and standing, Sirius doing the same and following your steps.

“I’ll walk with you.” he said, grabbing one last piece of apple and walking with you. 

You didn’t fight him, walking out of the Great Hall and turning right only to be tugged the opposite way. You complained but it was of no use, your hands pointing back as Sirius led you, his grip on your shoulders difficult to fight. “You do know the way to dungeons is the opposite of where we are going, right?”

“Of course.” he said, satisfied enough with your path, he let go of you and walked by your side. 

“Just making sure.” you murmured, watching him as he walked peacefully “Sirius.” you called “What are you doing?”

“Nothing.” he said too quickly, the raise of your eyebrow making nothing to break him. “It’s nothing, I swear!” 

“Right.” you laughed, shaking your head. 

The walk, even though long, was enjoyable. You actually had missed Sirius, you missed them all. One month of having all your meals and spending all your free time with the Marauders was enough to make you miss it like it was your home. You missed the laughs, Sirius jokes and shameless flirting, you missed the blush rising up Remus’ neck at Sirius flirting, you missed having a serious and yet fun conversation with Remus about anything that came to mind, his wise words and sharp mind; you missed Peter, his sense of humour and never ending source of snacks, you missed sharing your food with him and sneaking them into class. You didn’t realize how much you missed them until Sirius told you all about them and how they were. 

“You know you can always join us.” he said, the sad smile forming in your lips making him nudge your side with his elbow “I’m Sirius.” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as he walked backwards, entering the classroom with a smirk “No one is stopping you but yourself.” he said, walking to his seat next to James. 

All consideration about sitting with them dying as soon as you met his eyes, holding your gaze for a second as he eyed you. His eyes moved away, the smile returning to his face but not completely, it didn't reach his eyes like it had before he saw you. 

The pit in your stomach grew, letting your body fall to your chair as you dropped your bag on the floor. You sighed heavily, holding your head in your hands and waiting for the class to start. It was bound to be a long week.

“You can’t keep doing that.” Remus said that night in their common room.

“Do what?” Sirius asked, his eyes never meeting Remus’ as he threw the caramel in his hand at Peter, who catched it from the opposite side of the couch with a triumphant smile. Sirius threw a fist in the air, turning to Remus when he felt his glare on him “Use your words, Moony.”

“You have to stop taking Y/N’s attention away from James every time he’s with Lily.” he said, backing away as Sirius shushed him. “It’s friday, he’s with his tutor.” he reminded him, his body visibly relaxing as he flopped down on the couch.

“I’ll do it as long as I can.” Sirius said in a whisper “And you’re no one to talk, Mr. Glares.” he mocked, his eyes hardening in an attempt to mimic Remus’ look. Even Peter laughed at that, covering his mouth when Remus shot yet another glare at him. 

“What is that even supposed to mean?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Oh, please. Don’t tell me you don’t feel how your face brings winter upon us every time you see James with Evans”

“That’s what upsets you?” Sirius asked in disbelief “Not that they’re both heartbroken?”  

“They knew what they were doing from the beginning. It 's sad? Yes, but…” he paused, shaking his head “I just want James and Y/N being friends again.”

“Or more.” Peter mumbled, making both Sirius and Remus groan as they stared at him. “No.” they said in unison. 

 James sat at the library, head buried deep in a book. His hand fumbled in the inside of his pocket, the soft clicking of metal sounding over the soft murmurs of the many voices at the library. He looked up at the clock again, you were rarely late. He got up, walking through all the shelves and checking every other table. You were nowhere to be found.

He sat down with a sigh again, reading over the notes and all the questions he had over the week about his assignments. He considered looking for you, taking you up on your offer to arrange something else, but Lily stopped him on his way looking for you. 

He saw you walk out of your classroom, talking with some of your friends as you made your way to your next class. He spent most of the previous night working on his essay but for every question he found the answer for he came up with three more. In the end, he gave up and waited to talk to you in the morning. Following close, he avoided all the people in his way as he jogged up to your group, coming to halt a few feet from you when he heard his name being called. He turned, watching Lily walk up to him. 

He stepped back, meeting her in the middle “Evans.” he said, smiling in her way. His eyes glanced at you, finding you already looking at him. Your eyes moved away from him, head low as you and your friends walked away. James sighed, focusing on Lily in front of him “What is it?” he asked, leaning in the wall behind him.

“Remember the other day I was looking for Y/N?” she asked, fumbling inside her bag as he hummed in response “Well, I found something of hers. I believe you gave it to her.” she said, pulling from her bag a thin silver chain, the small charm hanging from the end. 

James watched the bracelet with sadness, taking it from Lily’s hand “Where did you find it?” he asked, the coldness of the chain in his hand making his heart drop. 

“The tree by the Lake.” she answered  “I was going to give it back to her but then you said you weren’t together anymore. She showed it to me, you know? Well, everyone actually.  She was so happy she showed it to everyone at our table.” she chuckled.

“Right” he said, furrowing his eyebrows as he tried and failed to remember that specific time. You told him all about your attempts to annoy Lily. Then it hit him, you weren’t pretending.

“Anyway, I thought better give it back to you.” Lily said, walking a few steps and then stopping “You know? Whatever happened between you two, I’m sure you can work it out. You looked happy together, both of you.” and with that she left, Marlene waited for her at the end of the hall as they disappeared in the distance together.

He didn’t want to bother you anymore, getting rid of the bracelet he gave you clue enough to know you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. He blinked fast, his vision blurry for a second as one tear fell down his cheek. Why was it so hard?

You were friends! You were one of his best friends. He trusted you and that’s why he asked for your help, you knew him better than most, you were used to being together, so what changed?  You had kissed before your deal, held hands, hugged, every couple thing you did you had done before. Why was he asking himself what changed? He didn’t like you in that way, he told you so. Or did he? 

“I’m so sorry.” your voice snapped him out of his trance, his eyes sad as he stared at you. Your hair was messy, one of your biggest and comfiest sweaters thrown over your head in a last minute manner, the scarf around your neck coming undone as you flopped won the chair. “Jamie?” you asked at his tranced state, his eyes snapping up at yours. You called him Jamie. “You okay?”

He felt all the color drain from his face, a bucket of cold water thrown in his face as he stared at you. When was the last time you had called him Jamie? When was the last time that you two had sat down and just chatted about life, that you made sure he paid attention in class and he made you get out of your room? When was the last time he heard you laugh, yell or muttered under your breath? 

“James.” you called again, his eyes focusing on you before he jumped from his chair and left. 

You were tempted to call him, but Madame Pince was giving you a dirty look already. You stumbled to your feet, gathering yours and James’ things as you ran out and after him. 

He was walking aimlessly, his entire body and mind panicking. He could hear you calling his name, your hurried footsteps sounding closer and closer as he ran down the stairs, walking outside into the courtyard as the cold air hit his face. 

“James,” you gasped, joggin all the way to the fountain to drop your things there. He was pacing, breathing short and rapid as he looked everywhere but to you. “James!” you called louder, getting no response from him “Hey, hey!” you said, grasping his shoulders “Talk to me.”

He took several deep breaths, holding your gaze and realizing he hadn’t looked at you, actually looked at you in the eye for far too long. “I’m an idiot.”

You frowned, your face contorted in confusion as you let your hands fall from him “Am I supposed to deny it?” you asked “‘Cause we both know I can’t.” 

He chuckled “You still joke.” he said with a smile, running a hand through his hair as he turned his back to you. 

“I still joke.” you repeated under your breath, looking at him “What is that even supposed to mean?”

If someone told you what was about to happen next you would have never believed them. No one, not in a million years could have prepared you. 

“All this time I took you for granted. Thinking you were my friend, that this was supposed to be the way friendship works with you. I always knew it was different, never felt like Pads or Moony, but I took it because you were a girl.” he let out a breathy laugh, turning to look at you “Never felt like it did with Lily.” he muttered.

You hugged yourself, avoiding his eyes as you looked down “I get it, we’re friends.” you said in a whisper “You made that clear.”

“No, you don’t get it.” he said, making you roll your eyes tiredly, sitting in the brim of the fountain “I took you for granted.”

“I heard you the first time.” you said bitterly, looking at him with the same bitterness in your eyes “Look, James. I can’t be your friend anymore. I just can’t.”

“I don’t want you to be my friend.” he said, and you swore your heart shattered again. Lowering your face to avoid him seeing the tears gathering in your eyes, you wanted to say something Gee, thanks or That makes two of us but you didn’t trust your voice to say that without cracking. 

“I never knew what love felt like until you went away.” he said, your heart stopping inside your chest.

“What?” you asked, voice trembling as you lifted your eyes.

“I’m so sorry.” he sat down in front of you, eyes wandering to your hands as he hesitantly took one in the warmth of his “I hurt you because I’m an idiot and you deserve so much better, so much better than an oblivious fool who doesn’t know what he has until he loses it.”

You tried to make sense of all the things he was saying but nothing made sense. “James...I-I”

“I love you too.” he blurted out, watching your every move, every twitch, anything that could give him an answer.

“No.” you said suddenly “You were pretending, remember?” 

 “That we were together.” he explained “But I’ve always cared about you, everything I did was because I wanted to. And yes, maybe Lily was there but I would’ve done it anyway, all of it.” his voice lowered considerably, watching you in your frozen state “I liked Lily because of the chase but I love you because it’s all I’ve ever known with you.  I didn’t even know, everyone else did but not me. Two weeks of not being with you, not listening to your laugh, your jokes and your yells. I’ve missed the way we just exist together, going out and having fun. I missed playing with your hair, and you getting mad because I get it all tangled, I miss going to honeydukes and watching your eyes go wide as you don't know what to pick. I miss hugging you after a Quidditch match or after a long day.” he sighed, out of breath “I just miss you.”

You let the words settle in, processing every word and every thought as you stared at him in a blank state. 

“I know I hurt you. I don’t want you to forgive me just because of all I’ve said but please, just please don’t hate me.”

“I don’t hate you.” you said in a low voice “I never did.”

“You didn’t?” he asked in disbelief, and you shook your head. 

“I could never.” you told him with the smallest smile. You looked up, the stars shining in the sky as you let out a breathy laugh “Come here.” you muttered, opening your arms as he practically jumped to you, wrapping his arms around your waist tightly. Your arms hugged him, going over his neck as you sat closer than ever. One of your hands raised to the back of his head, running your fingers through his hair as you turned your face, placing a soft kiss in his cheek. 

You don't know how long you stayed in each other's arms, at some point your head nuzzled in the crook of his neck as he held you close. The cold air hitting your faces.

“You kept my scarf.” he said, you tried to deny it as he smiled “It’s mine.” he picked up the end, showing you some loose threads and worn fabric “I recognize it.” he said. His eyebrows raised, letting go of your hand and reaching to his pocket. He moved back slightly, pulling the silver bracelet and holding it up for you to see “I believe this is yours.” he said.

“Sirius gave it to you?” you asked, his hand coming around your wrist and placing it over his lap.

“Sirius?” he asked, fastening the bracelet around your wrist “Lily found it.”

“Lily?” you asked, clearly both in confusion with the mix of names “I asked Sirius to take it.”

“And apparently she found it.” he said, holding your hand in his “Are you sure you don’t hate me?” he asked again.

“I don’t know, do people who hate each other do this?” you asked, your thumb brushing along his cheekbone, leaning in slowly and capturing his lips in a slow kiss. He moved closer, both of his hands cupping your face as he deepened the kiss, the smile that grew in his lips mirroring yours. He slowly broke the kiss, eyes closed as his forehead rested against yours. He opened his eyes and met yours, shining with bliss as his smile grew wider. 

Your heart no longer felt shattered. 

TAGS:

@fanficflaneuse @nebulablakemurphy @lupins-sweater @accio-rogers @gloriousrebelrunaway @slytherinprincess03 @not-today-anxiety @iwritesiriusly @trinimalfoyyy  @haphazardhufflepuff @deafgirltingz  @remmyswritings @peeves-a-legend @yourssuccubus @it-was-three-am @pamelalur15 

If your name is like this it means I can’t tag you :(

P.S. At the end, the rest of the Marauders were watching James and the reader from one of the towers, they were so anxious that at some point Sirius yelled KISS HER YOU FOOL! and that he did. Their cheers could be heard all over Hogwarts. 

[misssunflowersandsangria]

At Home with You

Happy @inoshikachoweek week and happy best friends day!  I love every incarnation of Team 10 so I really wanted to write something at least for the last day.  Thank you to @thespookymoth and @pewpewpew for hosting this week!  Hope that you enjoy! 

Prompt:  Best Friends

Summary:  When you’re best friends home and family can take many different forms.

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At Home with You

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Ino

“There you are!”  Curious brown eyes looked up hearing a familiar voice. Inojin grinned watching the deer trot over towards him excitedly. 

Inojin pet the deer’s fur affectionately, thankful that he seemed to still remember him.  “I’m sorry I haven’t been around a lot lately.”  The animal didn’t seem to mind and welcomed the loving touches.  

“Come on buddy, let’s take a walk. I’ve got some time before I have to go home.” Inojin could have sworn there was some understanding in those soft eyes as the animal fell into step with him.  

The peace and solitude the dense forest provided was much needed after so many difficult and grueling missions. He found solace in the twilight with his faithful companion by his side. 

The pair took breaks along their walk to eat and drink. Their gait relaxed and steady with no goal or end in sight. Inojin would feed the animal treats and pet his soft fur.  All the while the deer nuzzled in familiarity into his gentle hands. 

Coming to a stop they relaxed by the water. Inojin reclined into the deers side to sketch the landscape. Nestling into the deer’s soft fur and comforting warmth.  It was this quiet slice of heaven away safe from the noise. 

“So this is where you’ve been running off to?” 

Inojin looked startled, surprised by the amused looks on his Uncle and Aunt’s face. 

Subconsciously Inojin stepped forward placing himself between the deer and them. 

“We don’t mind you coming here but you need to let your parents know where you are.”  Temari gently scolded him.  

Shikamaru looked curiously behind Inojin. A familiar deer posed as though it was ready to defend its friend if necessary. 

“I assume your visits have to do with the deer behind you?” 

“I come by when I dont have missions to see him.”  Inojin admitted with a sigh.  There was no way to lie his way out of this. 

Temari and Shikamaru were surprised by the revelation.  Shikamaru recognized the deer as the injured one that Inojin had found and he had treated.  He remembered Inojin being terrified and distraught, hoping the deer might make it through. They didn’t quite realize how much of an impression the experience had made. 

Temari had seen him earlier heading towards the forest where he was able to walk about freely. It seemed odd though that he was going there alone. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?” 

Inojin shrugged, not really having a response. He thought it might be embarrassing to admit having grown attached to the deer.  

“I couldn’t…I couldn’t save Akkun. So when I was able to save this one I felt connected to him I guess.”  

They knew all about that little creature that he’d bonded with during the mission in Iwagakure. Ino and Sai had considered getting him a pet to help with his grief but worried it might be too soon. 

Shikamaru moved forward towards them, kneeling in front of him.  “Your grandfather used to love walking through here too.”  

“Really?”  Inojin asked surprised but always happy to learn anything he could about his grandfather. 

“The Yamanaka jutsu can be very difficult mentally and spiritually. He always found reconnecting with nature as a way to reset.  He even had his own favorite deer. Shikadai’s grandfather would complain that he was out here more than him.”  Shikamaru remembered when his father would go out into the dense forest to check on his friend. 

“Inojin attachments and bonds are a wonderful thing. Companionship and friendship make life meaningful.  They aren’t something you ever have to hide.” Inojin smiled up at Temari, her words having a lifetime of experience behind them. 

“Did you give him a name?” 

“Aki, I found him on the first day of Fall.”  

“Well thank you Aki for taking care of Inojin here.”  

Shikamaru kindly rubbed the deer’s head.  Sure the Naras were known for their connection with these animals but he was thankful that Inojin saw their value as well.

“Let your mom and dad know, okay kid. That way they won’t worry.”  Temari guided him gently.  She could understand his draw towards the Nara forest.  She would often escape there just to have some quiet.  

Inojin nodded, grateful that he didn’t have to keep his trips a secret.  That he could tell his parents and his teammates about his friend.  He’d been wanting his parents to come join him for a while now. 

“Let Shikadai know you’re coming out here.  He’s supposed to be guarding and keeping this place secure.  Seeing as you’ve been able to come in and out undetected means he’s not doing his job.”  He laughed but hoped his friend wouldn’t be too upset. 

The trio remained out there in the fading sunlight as more deer came forward recognizing the clan heads.  Enjoying the mystery and wonder of it all.

Inojin at times was just like his father.  He struggled with certain social cues and norms.  Often finding himself confused by some customs. But he found there in the quiet of the forest, with his faithful friend, and family a feeling of home. 

Shika

Shikadai took a tentative taste before a thoughtful look crossed his face. 

“It needs something.” 

Karui took a spoonful of the broth before nodding. “You’re right. Go ask your Uncle Chouji for more tomatoes.”  

Shikadai went into motion and made his way over to where the Akimichi was prepping the ingredients.  ChoCho would often complain about her parents but Shikadai found them to be warm and welcoming.  Always genuinely happy to see him. 

“We’re gonna need more diced tomatoes.”

“You got it, kid.” 

Shikadai wasn’t sure when it happened exactly. He’d been over at the Akimichi’s one night for dinner and had been roped into helping. Despite his silent complaints, he’d actually enjoyed the cooking process.  It was almost like a science experiment. Mixing the ingredients to get the perfect reaction. After that day he’d come by ever so often to learn more techniques and to try out various recipes. Who better than an Akimichi to teach him to cook? ChoCho loved it when he came over, as he often made enough for her to try a new dish.  

Today he had something special planned. His uncles had sent him a recipe for his mom's favorite dish from Suna. He wanted it to be a surprise so he’d made his way to the Akimichi kitchen. 

“My dad taught your grandfather how to cook,”  Chouji told him with a grin. Shikadai looked up, never having heard this story. 

“When they were younger your grandmother was just as good of a cook as she is now.  Uncle Shikaku wanted to impress her.  It was a complete failure.  Apparently, he managed to burn through not only the food but multiple pots and pans.  He was banned from cooking on Akimichi lands for a while.  After my dad forgave him he gave him a few less-flammable lessons.  It wasn’t too helpful but there was some improvement.  Your father is no better.  For being geniuses they sure are useless in the kitchen.  You might be the only hope for the Nara line.”

Shikadai smiled at the thought.  His mother had mentioned something similar to him when he’d helped her a few times.  It wasn’t a skill that Naras were known for nor would it be one that he advertised.  Still, it was a useful ability and oftentimes a needed distraction. 

Karui yelled a few additional items they needed and he stood next to Chouji prepping the additional items.  

They added the required ingredients, checking the flavor as he went along.  The two Akimichis watched him with a smile at his attention and precision.  Temari’s look of pure determination on his face and his movements were all Shikamaru.  Like the dish he made, he was a perfect mix. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you kid.  You’re a natural.  You’re always welcomed in my kitchen.”  Karui praised him after tasting the completed recipe. 

She affectionately ruffled his hair. “Your mom is going to love it.” 

Shikadai recalled those precious times together around a table with warm food between them.  

A home-cooked meal was the perfect reminder of home.

Cho

“Thanks again for coming by!  Your wife is going to love the flowers.”  ChoCho yelled out to the customer.

She then worked to spray down the counter then watered a few of the plants.  It was a quiet day at the store but she loved it nonetheless.  The Yamanaka flower shop was one of her favorite places in the village. She was getting older.  Their team missions were more complicated and layered. For her. working at a place that was so normal was a needed reprieve.

It started a few weeks ago.  Inojin had begged her to cover his shift while his parents were off on a mission.  She agreed only after he offered her a king’s ransom in snacks and a no-questions-asked favor to be cashed in the future.  After getting a quick training session and learning the ropes she thoroughly enjoyed her time there.  She was in the company of flowers and got to meet and interact with people all over the village.  It was a natural fit.  From then on ever so often Inojin would ask her to fill in.  She’d whine and complain which increased Inojin’s offerings but she’d ultimately agree.

“ChoCho!”  She smiled brightly seeing the Yamanakas walk in.  They knew that she was there for the afternoon but assured her they’d be back as early as possible.  

ChoCho idolized Ino.  The  Yamanaka Clan head was strong, wise, and beautiful.  ChoCho loved her mom but she was still an authority figure.  Ino was her cool Aunt.  Since she could remember the blonde had assured her that she’d be a willing confidant and support.  There were a few times that she elicited her help and advice.  

“We appreciate you coming by to help us,”  Sai thanked her with a soft smile.  He wasn’t a man of many words but he was always kind and welcoming towards her.  His smile reminded her very much of her teammate.

“I love it here.  I get to see so many people and hear a lot of different stories.”  Her favorites were always of nervous individuals hoping to find that perfect bouquet to impress a special someone. 

“It’s a pretty special place.  Your grandfather still buys your grandmother flowers every month on the 7th.  When I'd come here to help my dad I always loved seeing him come in.  I'd help him pick out the flowers to give her.”  ChoCho fondly thought about the blossoms that would consistently fill their home.  She couldn’t help but love how connected their families were.  

 Sai helped her move a few buckets of flowers to refill the shelves.  “When your father started dating your mom he didn’t know what her favorite flower was so he ended up just buying all of them,”  Sai recalled that day.  

He’d come to spend time with Ino when the Akimichi had come in a panicked state.  Their team had argued back and forth about the best arrangement of flowers until Shikamaru convinced Chouji to just buy them all and figure out Karui’s favorite later. 

ChoCho grinned surprised by the sweet story.  Surprised that the old man had some moves back in the day.  

Her father had come by earlier to her embarrassment but they had worked together to arrange a beautiful bouquet for her mother. She often wondered at their relationship but their love was something undeniable.  ChoChohoped that her teammates took notes about how to treat those they loved. 

ChoCho fell into step with the Yamanakas helping to clean up before she was set to leave.  And of course, she was on her way to see her team.  

“You’re always welcome here, you know that right?”  Ino assured her. She had a special bond with the Akimichi.  It wasn’t always easy being the female in their trio.

Surrounded by a melody of flowers and the warmth of family, this was just like a second home.  

“I know.”

* **

The 17th generation of InoShikaCho sat together in the cramped booth talking about everything and nothing all at once.  A similar scene of love and familiarity having occurred many times in the past.  

At times the pressure to uphold their family’s legacy could be suffocating.  Certain heavy expectations and hopes were placed on their shoulders.  But they knew at the end of the day they were luckier than most.  They were teammates and best friends.  Not just by circumstances but by choice.  No matter what happened in this life, because of that bond they’d always have a home. 

*

**

Did you see what I was trying to do here?  I love the customs that each family has but I like to see them interacting with each other.

Life got pretty hectic so writing needed to take a back seat.  I’m thankful that I was able to write what little I could.  I hope to be posting more regularly soon.  Thanks for your support and good vibes. 

 My sincere love, thanks and admiration for everyone who supported this week!  You are all amazing!  Love, love to you all!

[mod-kyoko]

Hello there! My apologies if this has already been requested, but how about Shuichi’s fluff alphabet?

heya, mod kyoko here! of course you can! thank you so much for the request!

your fluff alphabet is down below ⬇️

caution, the picture below may strain your eyes!

⚠️⚠️⚠️

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shuichi's fluff alphabet!

a - activities (what do they like to do with their s/o? how do they spend their free time with them?)

shuichi would enjoy calm, serene activities, like a walk through the park, on a beach, or sitting in the library. however, if you wanted to go somewhere rowdy, like an amusement park or concert, he would still enjoy it. honestly he would put up with nearly anything for you. if you're a rowdy person in general, he wouldn't mind you dragging him all over to do exciting things. in fact, he would find it refreshing!

as for everyday things, he prefers just being in your company. reading a book together, dining together, having deep conversations.

b - beauty (what do they admire about their s/o? what do they think is beautiful about them?)

for shuichi, appearance doesn't matter nearly as much as what's on the inside. that being said, he would admire the optimism in you, or your tenacity. he would appreciate an s/o who can be mature when needed, but also silly. shuichi just thinks your entire personality is beautiful, really.

although, he does love your eyes, too. he would stare into them as you're talking, making sure you know he is listening intently to whatever you're saying. he loves the way your face lights up when you smile or get excited. those are the things that he finds most beautiful about you.

c - comfort (how would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack?)

shuichi never really had to deal with something like this before, so he kind of just goes based off how he would want to be treated if he was in your place. at the first sign of your discomfort he will ask if you're okay. then he will ask if you need some space. if you say yes, he will leave, after assuring you that if you need something you can come get him anytime.

if you want him to stay, he will ask if you need a hug. he will wrap his arms around your shoulders and pull you close to his chest, resting his chin in top of your head. the one thing shuichi always wanted to hear was "everything will be okay," so he makes sure to tell you that as well. he hates to see you sad, but tries to act as calm as possible so his calmness will hopefully spread to you.

d - dreams (how do they picture their future with their s/o?)

he definitely sees you as a permanent person in his life, and he isn't too worried about where you will be in the future, since he mainly focuses on the present. however, sometimes he fantasizes about marrying you. he imagines what you would look like the moment he proposes, in your wedding dress, eating cake together.

if you dont want to get married, that's fine too! it has never been a huge goal or dream of his. plus, as long as you're together, marriage isn't too important. it's just a name change and a certificate, right? other than marriage, he does think about having children with you. he often wonders what they would look like, and how great of a parent you would be to them.

e - equal (are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?)

shuichi sees the two of you as completely equal. your thoughts and opinions are just as important, and he always makes sure to include them. he isn't a very dominant person in general, so he would either be passive or somewhere in the middle. he can be assertive when needed, though. shuichi won't let anyone be toxic toward him, including his s/o. but that would be the only time when he would assert himself over you. other than that, he would never allow himself to speak over you or act like he is the "better" person.

f - fight (would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting)

if you were ever to fight with shuichi, it wouldn't be over a petty argument. in those situations he tries his best to listen and apologize, then do his best to fix it. however, if it's a really big fight, he has a bit more difficulty holding himself together. at first, he would cry a little bit. then he would get frustrated. though, he would never ever resort to violence with you. while he might say things he will regret, he tries his absolute hardest not to hurt you.

however, shuichi can and will stand up for himself if need be, he isn't a complete pushover. *little headcanon tangent here*: if you happen to be arguing and he spots toxicity or ab*sive behavior, he will call you out. he is working on self worth and knows what he deserves. good for him :)

g - gratitude (how grateful are they in general? are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?)

shuichi sometimes gets caught up in his work and doesn't really see all the things you do for him. but when you're gone, he starts thinking about all the things you do. even small things, like bringing him tea when he is working, or dabbing his forehead with a wet cloth when he is sick. it is easy to not notice all the little things someone does for you, but shuichi is a thinker. if he realizes he maybe hasn't expressed his gratitude enough lately, he will immediately start giving back.

to express his gratitude, he will either tell you outright how thankful he is, or make a gesture. he will probably offer to do all your chores or treat you to dinner wherever you want. he makes sure to do this often so you never forget that he loves you and what you do for him.

h - honesty (do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? or do they share everything?)

there are only two types of things shuichi would hide from you. one would be some guilty pleasure of his that he has been made fun of for in the past. he tries hard to avoid the judgement of others, even his s/o. the other would be something he thought would potentially hurt you, or something unnecessary for you to know (i.e. he overheard someone talking behind your back). he doesn't like getting involved with drama if it doesn't concern him, and he doesn't want you to waste your time on those petty jerks. plus, he genuinely doesn't think it is something you would want or need to know.

other than that, he tries his hardest to tell you the truth all the time. he knows from firsthand experience how detrimental lying can be to a relationship, and he cherishes you way to much to jeopardize it.

i - inspiration (did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? like trying out new things or help them overcome personal problems?)

this one is a big yes! you gave shuichi a reason to make self improvements! before you came along, he didn't realize he had such room for change (the good kind). for example, shuichi didn't realize his self worth until you started expressing your love for him. he finally realized he needed to recognize his worth and what he deserves.

after you entered his life, he went around asking the smartest people he knew for advice on how to be his best self. he thought that if he was going to have someone important close to him then he needed to be at tip top shape for them. you're very special, so of course he would want to be the best partner he could be. his friends mostly told him to try to keep an open mind, listen to others, but most importantly to take time for himself. he took this advice wholeheartedly, not just for you, but also for himself.

j - jealousy (do they get jealous easily? how do they deal with it?)

it's perfectly normal for their to be a small amount of jealousy in a relationship. shuichi is human, of course he gets jealous sometimes. he tries to shove it down, which of course isn't very healthy. when he bottles too much up inside he tends to get a little cranky, and might hole himself up in his room. but he would never think about taking it out on you.

when he gets like this he attempts to calm himself down before expressing his thoughts to you about it. he'll do breathing exercises or drink some tea and read a book. it helps him a lot to be alone in a quiet environment in these times. once he is back to his usual self he will laugh it off with you.

k - kiss (are they a good kisser? what was the first kiss like?)

now, shuichi was definitely not a genius first time kisser. he just decided to go with what felt right. your first kiss probably took place after the two of you got together, maybe a few weeks or days into the relationship.

you were talking about something that you really enjoy, and as he watched your eyes light up with excitement as you talk about your favorite thing, he realized this is the moment when you're most beautiful to him. as soon as you finished talking he looked at you with a serious yet adoring face and asked if he could kiss you. when you said yes, he slowly leaned forward until your lips met. he wasn't really sure of what to do with his hands, so he just grabbed yours. when it was time for the kiss to escalate into something more, he listened to his gut. you were probably the one to initiate the makeout session by nibbling his lip. he was all for it of course, just a bit nervous.

now he is a natural! doesn't take him much thought what he does with his hands, lips or tongue. you are a very lucky person, s/o. ;)

l - love confession (how would they confess to their s/o?)

shuichi put a lot of thought into this. however, he didn't rely on his friends for this one. although he always goes to them for advice, he wanted this to be all him. he also didn't want to be embarrassed in front of everyone in case you said no.

the confession happened while the two of you were alone, either in the dining hall, library or outside. you weren't hanging out, you just happened to be in the same place at the same time. so he thought this would be a good opportunity. he cleared his throat, not to get your attention, but to try to avoid his throat closing up due to nervousness. he would then say something like:

"hey, y/n, i was hoping to talk to you about something." as soon as he got your full attention he would start rambling on about how he admires you. he would compliment your ultimate somewhere in there, before finally getting to his point. after clearing his throat again, he makes his best effort to look you in the eyes (though that is pretty difficult for him), and says it. "i like you, i think you're very sweet, and i want to get to know you more." when you told him the feeling is mutual he actually started freaking out internally. of course he tried to keep himself composed on the outside though. (babyyy ahhh)

m - marriage (do they want to get married? how do they propose? what would the marriage be like?)

he wants whatever you wants honestly. marriage isn't a need for him, but don't get me wrong he would absolutely love it too. anyway, the proposal would be fairly traditional. he would spend a great deal of time picking a ring, definitely worrying if you would like it. once he is sure he found the one, he would buy it and immediately start thinking about where to propose.

he would end up choosing a place that isn't too public but still somewhere significant to the both of you. he would definitely wear something nice too. it's kind of important to him that there aren't people around, because you know that can potentially cause problems. plus, this is a you and him thing, not for anyone else! finally, once you're alone in a quiet spot, he would get down on one knee. "s/o, you're the most important person in my life. you inspired me to become my best self. i am so ready to spend the rest of my life with you, devoting myself to you and only you."

domestic life with shuichi is amazing. you never really notice how different he acts around you versus others until you live together. you both balance chores, go together to get groceries, etc. somehow you make the boring and mundane more exciting :)

n - nicknames (what do they call their s/o?)

shuichi doesn't seem like one for pet names at first. further down the line, though, they would grow on him. he originally just called you by your name, or a shortened version of it. Then he started to use babe, honey, dear, because it seemed like you were enjoying it. his least favorite pet name for you is babe. he really likes sweetheart and love. overall, pet names aren't his sort of thing.

as for him, at first he would just like to have you call him saihara. now, he wouldn't admit it, but he goes really soft when you call him baby! if it's you, he will let you call him anything to be honest.

o - on cloud nine (what are they like when they are in love? is it obvious for others? how do they express their feelings?)

although he isn't one to brag about his s/o to others (in fact he actually prefers to be pretty private about his love life), it is quite obvious to everyone that he is in love. they can tell because he seems happier, and more talkative. miu even said that he is "glowing." :)

of course it's even easier to tell when he is with you. you can see his true feelings in his eyes when he is looking at you. you can feel his true feelings when he kisses your knuckles, when he leans his head on you. You can hear them when he expresses his love for you verbally every day. He expresses his love in many ways, even in small gestures that might be overlooked, like making an effort to not wake you up if he has to get up before you, or organizing your mess.

p - pda (are they upfront about their relationship? do they brag about their s/o to others? or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?)

as i said before, shuichi isn't very comfortable being open about his relationship. the most he would do in public is hold hands or hug. he won't necessarily brag, but he will answer polite questions like "how are you and s/o doing?" with pride. he is definitely proud of you, even if he doesn't make a point of telling other people. he tells you, which is what is important.

q - quirk (some random ability they have that's beneficial in a relationship)

his ultimate! shuichi's talent as ultimate detective allows him to be very perceptive and smart, not to mention mature. this is good for relationships since he can tell when your behavior changes, which he can then ask you if something is wrong. his maturity and knowledge as a detective allows him to make rational decisions even under pressure, like if you're in a heated argument. he knows how to diffuse many different stressful situations because of his critical thinking skills.

r - romance (how romantic are they? what would they do to make their s/o happy? cliché or rather creative?)

shuichi isn't one for romance clichés, but he hasn't had much experience with this kind of thing, so that's what ends up happening anyway. other than the occasional bouquet of flowers, necklace (if you wear jewelry), or snacks, he doesn't give gifts much. he thinks love can't be bought with money or gifts (hear hear). of course he gets you gifts on anniversaries and birthdays and holidays, though.

s - support (are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? do they believe in them?)

of. course. he believes in you, and he is more than willing to help you achieve your goals, whether that be directly helping you with a task, or just giving advice. if he isn't tired or busy with work, he will do anything he can to help. shuichi is actually really invested in your goals. we all know he likes helping others, and he would most likely receive a sense of pride after seeing you accomplish something whether on your own or with his help.

t - thrill (do they need to try out new things to spice up your relationship? or do they prefer a certain routine?)

to an extent, shuichi really enjoys routine. but, like any person, he would get a little bored without occasional exposure to new things. he asks you to take him out to do something interesting at least once a month. his favorite new thing was going to a pottery store and learning how to make things out of clay. it was super satisfying to him to make something artistic. i might even say it was therapeutic for him. he also really enjoys going to art museums! this man has a natural affinity for art. it gives him a sense of serenity.

u - understanding (how good do they know their partner? are they empathetic?)

shuichi knows a heck of a lot about you, mainly because he loves listening to you talk about yourself. he often asks you questions so he can learn more, too. he genuinely doesn't mind it. he enjoys falling asleep to your voice as well! as for empathy, he tries his best to understand your feelings. he often asks himself how he would feel in your situation, and that helps him a lot with empathy.

v - value (how important is the relationship to them? what is its worth compared to other things in their life?)

shuichi knows well enough to put his own health, mental and physical, over anything else, even you. however, other than that, you're probably at the top. maybe even more so than some of his friends. he loves you and appreciates you very much! honestly, his life would be so different without you and he doesn't know what he would even do.

w - wild card (random fluff headcanon)

he likes to dabble with cooking (just imagine shuichi in an apron oh wowwww).

he is a bento box lover! he will often make you them with different ingredients each time to see what you like most, and just to experiment with flavors. he is really good at it too, everything he makes for you is homemade. he takes a lot of pride in it, especially when you enjoy them! (he would be overjoyed if you made him one so you could eat together. <3)

x - xoxo (are they very affectionate? do they love to kiss and cuddle?)

while shuichi isn't the most affectionate person ever, he does love it. when the two of you are alone he will often lean his head on your shoulder, grab your hand. if he is reeeally in the mood, he loves to make out with you. his touches are usually slow and sensual. he will hook his arm around your waist, lovingly caressing your body, or rub his thumb on the back of your hand. all of his affection is displayed thoughtfully and with care.

y - yearning (how will they cope when they're missing their partner?)

for the most part, shuichi likes alone time. but, if you're gone for a long period of time, he will get a bit grumpy. sometimes it will be noticeable, but not always. if he misses you that much, he will busy himself with a book, hangout with a friend, or just fantasize about you. whether he relives old memories or creates fake scenarios in his head, that is a great way for him to cope when you're gone.

z - zeal (are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? if so, what kind?)

if you were having any kind of relationship issues, shuichi would definitely try to salvage it. however, there is a certain extent to what he would do to save it. but don't worry, he doesn't give up easily. he will give your relationship what it needs to thrive. a break, space, communication. these are all important to him. of course he doesn't want to lose you. i see shuichi as someone who won't take any bullshit, either. he will try his best to fix it.

♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧♤♧

this concludes shuichi's fluff alphabet! i hope you liked it. i'm sorry if it is a bit long, i tried to condense it just in case.

have a great day!

-mod kyoko <3

[summahsunlight]

Perhaps It’s Fate, Part 22

Rating: T, to be safe

Word Count: 1.6k+

Summary: After joining the Resistance as a mechanic, you were happy to keep to yourself, until a little orange and white bb unit and his master wander into your workshop one day.

Pairings: Poe Dameron x Mechanic!Reader

Start from the beginning! 

Taglist: @ms-dont-care​, @starless-eyes-remain​, @elmoakepoke​, @marvelobsessiononastick​, @kiaralein​, @softly-sad​, @totalpoedameron, @ordinarymom1​, @sevvysaurus​, @spider-starry​, @liadamerondjarin​, @jingyuhearteu​, @dream-alittlebiggerdarling​, @paintballkid711​, @ren-ni​, @lostinwonderland314​, @elite4cekalyma​,@elisabethbathgate​

Here is the next part! Likes, comments, and reblog are always appreciated. I hope that you enjoy it. Remember the taglist is open if you want to be added just let me know! Happy reading lovelies!🥰❤️

Poe gasped, jolted awake suddenly. It took several seconds for him to realize that he was no longer on the Finalizer, that he was no longer shackled to that table.  He spent so much time making sure you didn’t have panic attacks that he never dealt with his own trauma.  He couldn’t deal with his own trauma--you were more important.

Shifting on the tight little bunk, Poe looked down at you sleeping soundly next to him. For several months the base of operations for the Resistance had been an old Rebellion battle cruiser while they searched for a new base. Living on a cruiser was nothing new to Poe--he’d spent plenty of time on them when he was with the Republic Navy.  You on the other hand, you were not used to living in space and it was sparking an increase in your anxiety attacks. 

Simply put--there was no time for Poe to face his own demons.

“Commander Dameron?” his commlink chirped. 

Cursing, Poe shifted trying not to wake you and snatched the comm up. “Yeah?” he whispered, anxiously as he saw you stirring. Please go back to sleep--you haven’t slept well in weeks, he thought, waiting for the bridge to answer him. To his relief, you fell back to sleep. 

“General Organa needs you on the bridge, sir.”

Sighing, Poe rubbed a hand over his face and confirmed that he was on his way. He managed to sneak out of the bunk, get his boots on, without disturbing you--however, BB-8 wasn’t as easily fooled. He instantly woke up from his charging state when he detected movement. 

Poe hushed him as they hurried out of the tight quarters. When the droid questioned why he was attempting to sneak away, the pilot confessed, “I didn’t want to wake Y/N.”

BB-8 whistled, sadly. Even he had noticed your mood change since Crait. Poe normally would assure the droid that you were going to be fine but the pilot wasn’t sure any of them were going to be fine after what they’d just endured. He might only be a droid--but he was very much aware the nightmares that both you and Poe were having. He just wished he knew how to help.

Moving through the silent, tight corridors of the cruiser, Poe made it to the bridge. There was only a skeleton crew working so it was unnervingly quiet. Poe had never been one to actually enjoy silence. 

“Commander,” Leia called him over.

“What’s going on, General?” Poe asked, approaching her.

“We might have found a decent location for our new base.”

“That’s good news. Things are cramped around here.”

Leia looked at him seriously. “Poe, I need Black Squadron to go scope it out, make sure it will work for us.”

Poe swallowed, anxiously. This meant he would have to leave you for a few days, maybe several. He felt uneasy leaving you behind, especially since your panic attacks had increased. “Is it possible for Black Squadron to go without me?”

“You can’t hover over her forever, Poe.”

“I...I know...it’s just...the panic attacks have gotten real bad.”

The General sighed and nodded in understanding. She had noticed--and felt--that your panic attacks were getting worse. However, Leia needed Poe--the Resistance needed Poe. The young pilot might not realize it yet, but. she needed him to be the leader she knew he could be. “Poe,” she said, softly, “she’ll be fine.”

He glanced away from Leia, briefly, and when Poe looked back at her, she could see the conflict in his eyes. “I know she will be. I just feel...guilty... leaving her to deal with it on her own.”

Leia smiled, sadly. “Poe, how do you think she handled it before you came along? She dealt with it on her own. She has other friends here that can help her if she needs it. I need you right now, Poe. Can I count on you?”

Poe pursed his lips and ran a hand through his unruly curls. “Yes ma’am,” he replied, hoarsely. 

“You leave in the morning. Go get some rest.”

“Yes ma’am.”

If the older woman was concerned by Poe’s lack of conversation, she didn’t show it on her face as he turned to go. She wanted to tell him that everything was going to work out in the end and take all his worries away--but the truth was, she couldn’t. 

Poe, with BB-8 right behind him, headed back towards his small quarters knowing what was unspoken between himself and Leia. Truth was, Poe wasn’t sure even if she had said the words if he would have believed her. 

BB-8 whistled, moanful. Poe didn’t even have the strength to reach down and give the little droid some comforting head scratches. He went straight back to the bunk, finding you still fast asleep, and he pulled you into his arms.

You stirred, eyes opening to gaze up at him. “Everything okay?” you murmured, sleepily. 

No. “Fine,” he lied, as if he wasn’t worried about his next mission. “The General wants Black Squadron to go scope out a spot for a potential base in the morning.”

“That’s good, right?” you asked, snuggling closer to him. 

“Yeah. Means we can get off this cruiser,” he responded. 

“Good; I’m ready to leave here. I’ll miss you.”

“I’m gonna leave Bee with you.”

Shifting slightly, you gave him a puzzled look. “Why? Don’t you need him for your mission?”

Poe sighed and kissed the tip of your nose. “It’s just a scouting mission; I can take another droid.”

BB-8 beeped indigently. Even on simple scouting missions Poe and Black Squadron got into trouble.

“He’s not wrong you know,” you said, laughing softly.

“I would just feel better if he stayed with you,” the pilot argued.

“Does this have to do with my panic attacks?”

“Yes.”

“Poe, I’ll be fine. You’ve left me behind before--without Bee staying.”

Lazily his fingers slipped through your hair. It was true that he’d left you behind before, without leaving BB-8, he would just feel better this time if his droid stayed with you. “I just want to make sure you’re comfortable.”

It wasn’t that you didn’t appreciate the gesture--you just felt better when BB-8 went with him, as if Poe was somehow safer if the little droid was on the mission. “I’ll be okay,” you assured him. “Rey and Finn will be here with me.”

Poe didn’t feel any less guilty; Rey and Finn didn’t know how to calm you. I suppose she could make the argument that neither does Bee. He nuzzled his nose against your hair. “Are you sure you don’t want me to leave BeeBee?”

“Yes, I’m sure. He should go with you.”

“Hopefully I’m not gone too long.”

“Well,” you said, drifting off back to sleep, “with any luck we’ll have a new base when you return.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, wishing he could fall back to sleep with you, “with any luck.”

-----

When you woke up the next morning you were not surprised to see that Poe was gone--and that he indeed left BB-8 behind.  You had expected him to do that, even if you had told him not too. The little droid wasn’t too thrilled about being left behind, but it had been Poe’s orders, so he stayed. 

It turned out incredibly helpful to have BB-8 around since you were busy fixing up some fighters the Resistance had recently come into possession of. You had to admit it was nice having the company--even though Rey, Rose, and Finn were all still on the cruiser, they all had their own work to complete and you very rarely saw them during the day.

Your panic attacks were held at bay while you were busy working and chatting with BB-8, it was at night, when you were laying in the bunk alone without Poe that the attacks reared their ugly head.

“I...I’m fine,” you told BB-8 two nights after Poe left. “Just...just a bad dream.”

BB-8 didn’t sound like he was convinced as he watched you desperately try to catch your breath. He offered to go find Rey or Finn. 

Shaking your head, you felt yourself beginning to calm down slightly as you worked your way through the breathing exercises that Poe would normally walk you through. “No. It’s...it’s late...I don’t want to...I don’t want to wake them.”

The small droid moaned and rolled closer to the bunk. You smiled at the simple gesture of comfort and almost instantly the panic passed. Maybe Poe leaving BB-8 with you had been a good idea after all. You reached down and gently pat the droid on his domed head. “Thanks Bee,” you whispered, laying back down and snuggling underneath the blankets. They smelled faintly like Poe which comforted you even more. 

You had just started to fall back to sleep when you felt the bed shift. Opening your eyes, you saw that BB-8 had somehow climbed onto the bed and was reseting at your feet. Smiling, you hugged your pillow and fell asleep.

[moosoobi]

Confessions

In the night: Chapter 2

T.Jeff- Hamilton: the musical 

Y/N can’t hold all her secrets. She’s tired of hiding. The people deserve the truth. Here’s her confession: the one she should’ve told us long ago

I started to write this chapter the day after I finished chapter 1, yet before the first chapter was even published (time management queen). As I’m typing this message, I’m currently distracting myself from finals LMAO. Anyway, I wanted to finish this chapter as soon as possible to give some explanation of the events in the previous chapter, so I hope I do exactly that. I’m still manifesting that I articulate through this story smoothly, please give me feedback <3 

MC (aka Y/N’s) POV 

Modern au 

Word Count: 5.4k

A few unrealistic realities, but I’m working with what I got

This chapter will most likely answer many questions about chapter 1 

THIS CHAPTER OCCURS AT THE SAME TIME AS CHAPTER 1! all events in this chapter line up with the events of chapter 1

Disclaimers: 

TW: violence, abuse, mentions of blood, themes of injury, itty bitty angst?

photo not mine <3

If you have any questions/concerns about this story, DONT BE SHY TO ASK ME! This is my first time writing a whole series, so I apologize if the plot gets confusing. 

-Now Playing: Broken Clocks by SZA-

Where to start… 

My attention was taken from Professor Washington’s lecture the moment I felt a pair of eyes attempting to pierce a hole in the back of my head. As I look back, I realize that it’s no one other than Thomas Jefferson, the spoiled francophile, or so people like the whisper, but gossip’s not my thing.

Upon being called out by Professor Washington, I couldn’t hold in my giggle as Thomas’s head ducks down in embarrassment. I suppose he sure knows how to lighten the demeanor in the lecture hall; It was a nice excuse to take my eyes off of Washington’s low-quality power-point presentation, but I appreciate that the man is trying. 

This class feels like it’ll last forever, and I contemplate if I could just perish in my seat at this very instant, yet Thomas’s presence seems to make it worthwhile. I don’t know him that much, or maybe at all for that matter, but since he’s been seen with a Schuyler, the locals around here can’t seem to keep their mouths shut about him. 

From what I’ve heard, he’s another silver-spoon raised boy representing Virginia up here in New York. A few scholarships here and there, as well as a trip to France for a semester. I don’t see what all the fuss is about; He seems like a pretty cool person, probably has an exciting life, and isn’t throwing away his shot. It’s odd, even with parents to piggyback off of, Thomas is very similar to a certain orphan I know. 

“Class is dismissed” Is all I heard from Professor Washington’s mouth before that obnoxious but relieving bell sounds off. 

Desperate to get out of this class, I hurry to put my stationery items into my burgundy-magenta backpack. You’d think after those turbulent years of high school that college would motivate me for fancier bags, but I can’t say no to my favorite color. It’s simple, won’t bring attention to my presence, unlike every other decision I’ve made in my life. 

After I finally finished packing up, I can’t wait to take a breath of the fresh, polluted air of New York City. I quickly spotted my roommate's car within the crowd of vehicles next to the sidewalk. He’s on time, as always, to pick me up from class, and I’m grateful that he sacrifices his time for me, but it’s not like he had a choice. I toss my bag into the trunk, surely crinkling a few important papers. Upon reaching the door of his expensive car, my roommate greets me with joy to see me. 

“How was class, Cherie?” 

Lafayette, my roommate, shoots a smile at me, his white teeth are almost blinding, but he always says I’m exaggerating. 

“Boring as always, but I’m still here, sadly” I say as I hop into the front seat of Lafayette’s car. He pouts in my direction 

“Ahh, c’mon, don’t be like that.” Once he acknowledges the buckling of my seatbelt, he begins to power up the car. “C’est la vie, Y/N” I roll my eyes, my hatred for him grows just a little more every time he says that. 

“Can we get McDonald’s?” I attempt to change the subject, earning a small chuckle from him. He prepares to drive off “You know I can't say no to you and your American junk food” 

And so we begin to drive off  

Lafayette and I indeed have a bit of history together. After I got mistakenly involved with Alexander and his clique, Lafayette was the next best (or worse) person to walk into my life. He’s sweet, charming, probably all the things Americans are not; the gentleman hails from France. Yet he’s so much more than that. 

Ever since I caught his eye at that obnoxious high school party, he and I hit the ground running. Disclosing the events which took place in his-

our bedroom won’t solve the problem, but the stubble on his jaw and the way he holds the steering wheel with one hand nearing my thigh reminds me of the unresolved sexual tension between the both of us. 

I’ve only been living in his apartment for a few months, an idea he proposed when I mentioned my dreadful rent. A nice view, nice coffee maker, and nice bedsheets were more than enough to convince me, but I know there’s more to that “nice” list that I shouldn’t disclose. 

Though I know his intentions were good, I’m sure he invited me into his abode to protect me from Alex. 

Since I began to band with Alex and his gang, Alexander’s been strict about getting me home on time. It wasn’t only because I was a helpless high school student, but also to prevent me from ratting him and his group out to the authorities. 

Upon joining Alex's posse, a strict curfew has been placed on me, only to ensure I stay safe at night, or perhaps to make sure I don’t betray them. 

Moving in with Lafayette made following this time limitation easier for me, especially since he volunteers to drive me home or takes a stand for me. If the unfortunate event of my arrival past my ‘bedtime’ timer occurs, Alexander ensures I pay the price.

Speaking of arrivals, Lafayette passes me a box of hot, salty fries and a smile spreads across my face. His eyes visibly soften as my entire demeanor changes.  

“Have I ever told you that you’re the best person ever?” I spilled my thoughts while stuffing my mouth with fries. He lightly chuckles, watching me. 

“Maybe a couple of times..” He prepares to drive off again “...too many times, actually.” he shot a wink at me. 

Blood didn’t have any time to rush to my cheeks before I could slap the side of his shoulder, causing him to whine in discomfort. I sigh before returning my focus to the steaming fries in front of me. The tension grows, and so does the silence between us. Eager to break the tension, I propose an idea. 

“Let’s go home?” we turn to each other at the same time 

“Oui.” 

---

I enter Professor Washington’s lecture hall and my attention is driven to the two curly-headed Virginians. I watch in secondhand embarrassment as Thomas Jefferson and his friend playfully argue in front of the entire class, seemingly a heated debate of the greatness of Mac and Cheese. One argues on behalf of the gooey pasta, while the other simultaneously retorts with a mix of “you’re so stupid” and “God help me”. 

Feeling a rush of confidence and suaveness, my brain urges my body to intervene in their conversation. Maybe it was to make new friends, or perhaps to stop the class from staring at their dumb dispute, but I swiftly walk over to them. The next few words to come out of my mouth fell into place oh-so-perfectly. 

“Hey, can I sit here?” 

Upon sitting in between the two Virginians, they introduce themselves. The calmer, self-collected man among the two introduced himself as James Madison, while the bolder, upbeat man introduced himself as no other than Thomas Jefferson. Both of them seemed happy that I interrupted and decided to reach out to them, maybe one was a tad more excited than the other. 

And ever since then, Professor Washington can’t seem to split up our trio. From childish jokes and a few inappropriate inferences, Thomas and James make great company. The idiotic smile that spreads across Thomas’s face whenever he’s capable of making James and I break our silence during class would become more annoying than Lafayette saying “C’est la vie” whenever I make a poor life decision. 

Nevertheless, Thomas and James dangerously remind me of Alexander and his goons. The abundant amount of self-praise and cocky remarks said by both Thomas and Alexander is almost astronomical. In the case of Thomas and Alexander’s meeting, I’m sure they’d be the best of friends. But likewise, I could also envision the two attempting to tear each other's heads off, the chaotic clashing of two powerful minds. 

They always know what to say and when to say it. I’ve never met anyone as clever as Thomas and James, and they’re even worse when they’re together.  

“‘ ‘s Adams here today? Washington told me to turn in my papers t’ him.” Thomas whispers as he eases into his chair, Washington’s booming voice seems to become background noise to us 

“Is he ever?” I reply, attempting not to giggle at my own response “I haven’t seen him since Washington initially introduced him to the class.” 

“Maybe he’s jus’ sick or somethin’. Kinda reminds me of you, James'' His head of curls turns to stare down James, in which James replies by rolling his eyes 

“He can stay home, he does the same amount of work there anyways.” James cleverly retorted. 

And that seemed to be our last straw before bursting out in laughter. Thomas’s body flung forward as he laughed his head off, James ducking his head to hide his glee behind his laptop, and I quickly slap a hand over my mouth to prevent anyone around us from drawing suspicion. But apparently, Washington wasn’t having our disguises. 

“Can the three of you even tell me what I just said?” Washington turns around from the board to scan the crowd, his eagle eyes find us quickly 

The silence was all we could emit, and soon enough, He turned back to his lesson. I sigh with relief; the last thing I need is to get kicked out of a class I don’t even pay for. 

…

...

“Washington sure got a shiny ass head. D’you think he uses shampoo and conditioner?” Whispered Thomas as he leans over to me 

And just like that,  we’re faced with the same struggle all over again.

—-

Lafayette adjusted the hot pan, erupting a few sizzles. The wall clock ticked, the hour arm froze pointing to the “11” written in roman numerals. Lafayette and I decided to agree on a home-cooked meal, and although it’s too late for an average dinner, yet too early to be defined as a midnight snack, I’m sure Lafayette’s cooking will satisfy me for the night. 

“Y/NN, would you prefer salt on your omelet? Or did you decide to be healthy tonight?” He said holding a salt shaker in the air to steal my focus from the swirling red liquid in my glass. 

My head lifts to meet his eyes. I tilt my head, the wine causing me to ponder for a little longer than I should’ve. He continues to stare at me, holding in a laugh, before I force myself to nod. 

“Yeah.. a little won’t hurt” I hear him chuckle at my drunken dialect, but I know the French man isn’t about to lecture me about English “Your wish is my command.” 

I watch as he conducts the kitchen perfectly. He knows where everything is, exactly what to add into the sizzling pan, maybe even the exact second to take the meal off the flame. 

“I thought you weren’t a fan of monarchy?” the sarcasm was evident in my tone “but I appreciate the submission” I shot him a playful wink, to which he responds with a pompous smirk

A few sips of wine later, I recognize notification that has been staring back at me for hours. 

1 Message from Thomas

A text from Thomas? And I’m barely seeing this now? I silently scold myself for giving into the wine before opening the message.

“Thomas: Hey this is Thomas from class, wanna come study with us at the library sometime?”

My eyes become glued to my phone. It was certainly necessary for me to reread Thomas’s text, I was unsure if the alcohol was beginning to make me see odd things, but I assured myself I was correct.

I could feel the blush spread across my face. Maybe it’s just the wine taking control, or maybe it’s the butterflies in my stomach forming every time I reread his message. A harmless invite, perhaps evoked from Thomas due to James stroking his ego, but I know James’ wouldn’t promote such a bold, straight-forward message. Though Thomas is known for his meticulous confidence and certainty, a message this simple could be notably deceiving. 

But a little socializing won’t damage my self-respect. “Be bold, Y/N” is what I used to tell myself at the beginning of the semester, and what do I have to lose? I begin to type my reply.

“Y/N: yeah I’m down :) just send a time and place and I’ll be on my way”

Sent.

 My introspection was soon interrupted by the screeching plate being slid in my direction by Lafayette, the steam circulating the meal 

“Y/N, Mangeons.” My head comes up from my phone, my eyes meet his eyes momentarily. 

“Thanks, Laf.” I reply before taking a fork from him and digging into the steaming meal ahead of me. Lafayette’s cooking never disappoints. Ever. 

My body couldn’t help but pick up my phone every few minutes to respond to Thomas’s messages, Though they were just the details of the hangout-offer he previously proposed, I felt enclosed in my little bubble while texting him. Those few moments of interaction with him somehow made my day better. I’m sure even Lafayette could see my radiating energy, but I’m not sure how he took it.

We’re technically not a couple; a few hookups and moving in together don't make us an official couple, right? 

“Merci, Laffy.” I watched as he visibly cringed at my poor attempt at french. “Let’s just stick to our mother tongues, angel.” He retorted. I laughed it off, yet inside his reply left a scratch on my pride. 

--- 

Another class of absolute foolery and childish inferences, and I can’t help but laugh as Thomas, James, and I exit the lecture hall. The New-York cold hits us harshly, but being about a month into this semester, students already know what to expect. 

It was indeed embarrassing, running to Lafayette’s car to remind him of your library study session. 

“Alright, I’ll pick you up before your curfew, okay?” He asked with one hand on the wheel. His faux-leather jacket contorting around his toned arms made it difficult not to remember the moments they shared around midnight. The imagery of their candle-lit room appearing in her head as he sat at the wheel stopped her from replying for a moment. 

“Y-Yeah sounds great. You’re the best, you know that?” She thanked him for sacrificing his time to make sure she arrives home on time. 

“You remind me all the time.” He sneaks in a small wink between his sentences “I’ll see you tonight, Cherie” 

Y/N smiled before turning around to prance over to her friends. Y/N heard the faint sounds of Lafayette driving off, sighing in relief

After briefly explaining my situation to the boys, we quickly head over to the library. 

A woman in a coral-pink blazer and pants set is waiting impatiently at a table she rented out just for us. “What in the world took you guys so long?” She pressured for an answer 

“C’mon Angie, that wasn’t even ten minutes.” Thomas rolled his eyes before removing his backpack and opening a chair for Y/N. Real smooth, Thomas, I can’t lie. He looked over to me, seeing stars in my eyes as I realize I’m standing next to the oldest Schuyler.

 “You’re-” She interrupted me with a smile, sticking out her hand to shake mine

“Angelica Schuyler. And you?” I swear her name sounds familiar. I’m sure I’ve heard it around but I just can't place it. I do see her on my social media feed from time to time, and I must admit, she looks even more heavenly in person. 

“Y/N L/N.” My hand meets hers in a firm handshake. 

“Nice to meet you.” 

—-

At first, I thought nothing of it. 

Though Lafayette’s text at 7:30 (on the dot) did push me out of my zone, I did appreciate his promise to me. 

Thomas on the other hand seemed disturbed by my sudden leave, but it’s not like he’d understand. Alexander would literally kill me if I were home late.

But Thomas and I would continue to hang out. His evening texts would slowly become a weekly routine. Whether it was a scary movie or an ice cream date for just the two of us, he always found a way to spend time with me. 

“Don’t tell me that mint chocolate chip is actually your favorite flavor, darlin’.” He adjusted his position on the park bench and raised an eyebrow, his gaze focused on the green ice cream atop my ice cream cone “You might make me regret takin’ you out tonight” he chuckled and I couldn’t help but smile 

“You know you love me” I jokingly retorted, scooping part of my ice cream with my tongue, and relaxing against the bench.

It’s very rare to get to relax like this. Not only am I a fully-fledged college student, but also one of Alexander’s goons. The weekends are merely just ‘weekdays: the sequel’, but add forbidden literature and alcohol to that equation.

I look back up to Thomas, seeing his disgusted face. “Wait.. are you actually against mint chocolate chip ice cream?” I cocked an eyebrow towards him

He shrugged before chuckling “I recall telling you of my unfortunate arguments while visiting England..” 

“..so what does mint chocolate chip ice cream have to do with your political upheavals in a foreign country?” 

He smirked in an ‘all knowing’ manner. “Well, Darlin, if you did your research—“

“—You’ve got to be kidding me—“I start to wonder why I even asked 

“—you’d learn that the monstrosity in your ice cream cone, mint chocolate chip, originated in England.” He completed his statement with triumph “Ever since my disagreements in England, I swore to despise such a concoction until the day I die.” 

I looked at him like he was crazy. “I can’t believe you did your research on English creations. You’re so dramatic sometimes” I respond 

“Hey, I wouldn’t be a Jefferson if I wasn’t.” He stared back to his cone, the mesmerizing ice cream almost reflecting himself back at him. 

We shared silence for a moment. Words were unnecessary when we were together. 

“I suppose..” Jefferson started “...I might be able to tolerate mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only for you, though.” He turned towards my direction 

My eyes soon met his. “Well, I’m honored to be your exemption, Jefferson.” I smile with triumph, recognizing my effect on him. 

He swiftly takes my hand, his skin feels burning compared to mine. Our eyes remain connected as he dips his head down to kiss the back of my hand. I attempt to hide the fact that my heart stopped beating for a moment, but the breath hitching in my throat wouldn’t help me at all. 

“Let’s drop the formalities, Darlin, you can call me Thomas now.” My hand remained between his. I try my best to keep my hand still, wanting to marinate in this moment forever. 

A new feeling courses through my body. Something unfamiliar. Perhaps it’s the charm of a Southern Gentleman. Maybe the feeling of being treated right for the first time, something I’ve never experienced from anyone.

What have I ever done to deserve this chivalrous kindness? 

‘What a gentleman’ I repeat to myself in my mind. What makes him so different from the others? 

From a simple kiss, I suddenly crave more.

More than the unresolved sexual tension between Lafayette and I. 

More than I was ever granted the opportunity to. 

Maybe ‘more’ is what I deserve. 

My mind bleeds with the thought of Lafayette, but Thomas seems like he has so much more to offer. What if I do deserve to be happy? I may not have earned it, but who gets to declare my right to happiness? I was once happy with Lafayette, but the times have changed

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas.

---

But no matter how much I enjoyed spending time with Jefferson himself, I was always the first one to leave. I had to. 

I remember the way his smile would fall at the sound of Lafayette’s car horn. 

The way his jaw tenses whenever my phone vibrates across the table 

Whenever Lafayette came to pick me up, I also can’t help but feel a part of my soul crack within me. 

“I’ll see you this weekend?” He kisses the back of my hand once more in an attempt to savor this moment, continuing to maintain eye contact.

“I’ll try, Thomas. Not sure if I’m busy.” I sigh with fatigue. “But I’ll let you know.” 

“Alright. Get home safe, darlin’” I hear him stand from the park bench as I wander to Lafayette’s car, his eyes following my figure. 

I hop into Lafayette’s car before taking one last glance in Thomas’s direction, watching as his figure begins to walk in the opposite direction that our car was heading. 

“Ahh, Y/N. Don’t tell me you’re cheating on me” his sarcastic tone wouldn’t pierce deep enough. 

I speak without thinking. “I do recall you claiming that you and I were never a couple, remember Laf?” My change in demeanor was certain to shut him up. And he did. 

He’s just not him. He’s just not Thomas. 

I remained turned away from Lafayette as we drove through the city. The memories built between Lafayette and I constantly falls like a house of cards, but I prefer to avoid the subject.

Lafayette felt otherwise, yet respected my choice. 

He was the first to speak.

“Alexander needs me for a transport this weekend.” He stated, “I’m not sure when I’ll get back, so it’s very important that you get back from whatever plans you have before your curfew.” He takes a glance over to me and briefly meets my eyes 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N.”

Ah yes, the monthly literature transportation of Alexander’s gang. 

The Notorious Sons of Liberty. 

A popular group roaming the streets of New York. But instead ironically of selling drugs or performing homicide, they produce and sell illegal, banned literature and disperse them to the highest bidders. 

How else do you think I pay for college? 

Although gang violence isn’t really their thing, that doesn’t mean they’re not in possession of such weaponry and devices. I’ve never seen anyone take literature as seriously as they do.

They’re also known for their bold publicity stunts, which are indeed fun to watch from a nearby coffee shop. Watching Alexander, Lafayette, and some other friends, John and Herc, run from the authorities on a Sunday afternoon, accidentally laughing at the sight of John tripping over his own feet, Lafayette mouthing ‘help us out’ in my direction. Very entertaining. 

On the contrary, their security on me has become tighter and tighter. I know they worry for the gang’s reputation over my safety, but it feels nice to imagine having a battalion of book-worm gang members watching over you. 

“I know, I know. You guys can stop treating me like a kid” I attempt to contain a giggle to portray my seriousness. 

He takes a glance at me before returning his attention to the road. “You cannot say that until you have another way home other than me.” He sighed rather loudly 

“Be careful, or I might do just that, Lafayette.” 

---

I sipped on wine and ate cheese at Thomas’s place without a care in the world on a Saturday night. Of course, I had to accept Thomas’s offer, I never knew how to say no to him. 

Jefferson has sure been taking his sweet time to put a title on us. Now, I’m no philosopher when it comes to dating, but Ice cream at the park, fancy dinners, and wine and cheese sure sound romantic. 

My night was going well. All until the 7:30 alarm on my phone rang, and before I knew it, everything began to go downhill

[events of chapter 1]

And next thing I knew, the cold New York air slapped my face, following the harsh slam of the apartment door. 

As my adrenaline began to settle down, panic rushed through my body. 

Fuck. At this rate, I won’t be home until after my curfew. Although my immediate instinct was to sprint my way home, those thoughts were quickly followed by the idea of passing out within five minutes. My apartment isn’t too far, but being fueled by wine and cheese doesn’t sound like the best idea. 

“Don’t test the waters, Y/N” echoed throughout my head. 

I begin to walk down the street before whipping out my phone to contact an Uber. 

The small talk produced between my driver and I worked a bit to calm myself down, but that would all change the moment I walked through my apartment door. 

Once I turn back around from locking the door, I’m met with exactly what I didn’t want to see at this very moment. 

Lafayette stood staring at me, his lips pursed with anxiousness, recognizing my significantly late arrival. 

Hercules, another good friend I’ve met through the sons of liberty, stood beside Lafayette. His mouth hung open in shock as he also recognized my mistake. 

John, the group’s smallest yet mightiest, leaned against the wall, perhaps planning my fate right in front of me 

And none other than Alexander Hamilton himself, sipping scotch on my couch, similarly to how I was not too long ago at Thomas’s place. The glare on his face quickly reminded me that I was in big trouble. 

“Y/N, I thought I told you—“ Lafayette began but was quickly interrupted 

“You’re late.” He swirled his drink before standing up. The clock ticked, and the hour hand notably passed the 8:30 symbol. I was not getting out of this one. 

Although I feared for the following moments, I attempted to contain my emotions within myself. I kept my straight face for the time being. I could feel everyone’s eyes on me. 

“I’m well aware.” That came out of my mouth  a little too harsh for my liking 

“May I remind you that being out past your curfew could severely damage our image.” 

I saw John look over to Alex from the corner of my eye. The air became thinner if that were even possible, and I refused to meet his eyes.

“And I do recall reminding you of your consequences.” He walked towards me and I felt my heart froze. “Having you out so late could raise some suspicions among our competitors, L/N.” 

I couldn’t find the right words and resort to nodding instead 

“I always fucking told you—“ he harshly slammed his drink onto the table beside him “—not to test the waters—” 

“—I-I know—“

“So why the fuck are you stumbling in here past your curfew?”

 At this very moment, I wondered if I had pulled the last straw. 

I couldn’t speak. God forbid I spat out the wrong words. Contained within my thoughts, I didn’t acknowledge Alexander closing the distance between us. 

“Ow!--” I watched as Alex shoved me to the wall, the moment playing in slow motion in my head. 

Lafayette’s throat grew dry “Hey, Alex, Calm dow-” 

He was interrupted by the sound of Alexander harshly slapping me across the face. My hands quickly went to soothe what felt like fire burning my cheek. 

“We do so much for you, Y/N.” Alex growled 

The sharp pain in my side grew, almost echoing throughout my body. I could feel my body giving up on itself. I mean, this wouldn’t be the first time Alex has acted like this. 

Occasionally, Alex would stop by Lafayette and I’s apartment just to ensure I was home before my curfew, and he wasn’t the most forgiving. 

--He owns an apartment key and has every single one of his gang member’s location tracked on his phone. Sometimes I wondered what was so special about us to have to keep all of us in check 24/7--

One time Hercules and I went shopping a little too late after sunset, part of me felt like a reckless teenager, probably because I was. I still remember Alexander’s face when I entered my own apartment, he looks identical every time. 

In an attempt to shelter me, my body curled into itself against the wall. I shrunk to the floor, feeling his shadow intensely stand above me. 

“Arghh!—“ the sound spilled out of me when I felt Alexander’s shin connect with my rib cage. 

My lungs felt punctured under the pressure.

My arms felt like they could give out any second.

Part of me had wished I’d stay at Thomas’s place tonight, even if it meant telling him the truth. 

What a predicament I’ve gotten myself into. 

I looked up, wondering if my torment was over until I was met with a —Crack— Alexander’s knee encountered my face. 

It was only a moment before I could hear the shuffling of the others’ shoes. I prayed they were coming to help me out.

Alexander lifted his glass of alcohol, previously forgotten, and hauled it towards me

Crash! 

The piercing shards of glass combining with the stinging alcohol were the last thing I needed on a Saturday night. I didn’t notice the tears falling from my eyes until now, and the way my heart felt like it was just on a rollercoaster. 

I kept my head low, watching blood drip down my face and onto the floor below me. And apparently, I wasn’t the only one to notice. 

“Alex! What the fuck?!” I heard Laurens yell

“Are you trying to kill her?!?” I recognized Lafayette’s scream

Before Alex was able to make another blow, Lauren and Lafayette were quick to hold him back, attempting to calm him down. 

Hercules swiftly knelt beside me, the guilt was obvious in his gaze. I hated the pity in each of their glances towards me. He attempted to wipe away the blood from my forehead with a paper towel. 

Alexander fought back against the two, trying his best to prove his point. There’s the Hamilton we all know, unwilling to stand down no matter the cost.

Hercules turned back to me, his words were ready to leave his mouth from the moment we reconnected eyes. 

“Y/N..” He pulled me up and shoved me out of my apartment door. “..Run.” I almost stumbled into a nearby pole, but I began running, if running in my condition was possible, back to Thomas’s place. 

—-

[events of chapter 1]

The next thing I knew, I woke up in Thomas’s bed beside him. I took a moment to soak in the feeling of his satin sheets. Part of me can’t recall the events before I passed out in front of Thomas’s apartment, or maybe my mind refuses to remember them. 

The sun hasn’t risen yet. 

I turn to my side and reach for my phone, wincing from the pressure applied to my rib cage. 

The bright light of my phone hitting my eyes felt like I was transported to another dimension. 

54 notifications: 

12 calls from Lafayette 🥐

24 texts from Lafayette 🥐

1 text from Alexander 💡

3 calls from Mariah 💋

14 texts from Mariah 💋

“oh fuck..” I sigh, wondering how things will play out. 

Out of curiosity, I open the message from Alexander. Perhaps it’s an apology? Maybe a reminder? 

Alexander 💡: I know where you are, Y/N. Don’t drag your friend into this. Because I can.

Where I am? I ask myself

My heart dropped, remembering that Alexander tracks my location 24/7. He knows where I am at this very second. 

By escaping to Thomas’s apartment, I’ve just dragged him into this mess I’ve made. If my worlds collide, it would all be because I ran to this exact apartment. 

Panic once again rushed through my body. 

I need to get out of here. I need to leave. 

I slip out from under the sheets and grab my belongings. Unprepared for what’s to come, I steal one of Thomas’s jackets from his cluttered desk chair. I’ll give it back eventually, I thought to myself. 

After I put on my shoes I take one last glance toward Thomas. 

He seems so peaceful when he’s asleep, tangled in his blanket, not to mention his name-brand Mac and cheese pajama pants. 

I’m sorry if I drag you into this, Thomas, you just wouldn’t understand.

Taglist <3: @kenmacrumbs @strayblades  @laic2299 @ohsoverykeri

[senacal]

Hey! Would u wanna write one where right after cuba in the hospital charles asks her to sing to him, and all she can remember is an old song from sweden (slightly personalized in that, i hope you dont mind!!) called Flyktsoda by ebba grön, she sings in swedish and he translates lyrics by telepathy. she ends up kinda confessing with the line "dont be scared of me, i am so scared of you" bcz shes a bit scary and mad all the time but shes super weak for charles. then u can decide how it ends 🥺🥺

Request: Requested by Anon

Pairing: Charles Xavier x Fem! Reader

Prompt: Hey! Would u wanna write one where right after Cuba in the hospital Charles asks her to sing to him, and all she can remember is an old song from Sweden (slightly personalized in that, I hope you don’t mind!!) called Flyktsoda by Ebba grön, she sings in Swedish and he translates lyrics by telepathy. she ends up kinda confessing with the line "don’t be scared of me, I am so scared of you" bcz she’s a bit scary and mad all the time but shes super weak for Charles. then u can decide how it ends 🥺🥺

Warnings: self deprecation? Charles isn’t okay and neither is the reader 

Author’s Note: I don’t mind at all ^.^ I listened to the song and it was super catchy, even better when I found out what the lyrics translated to (I speak no ounce of Swedish lol 😅) Sorry it took so long btw, I fell into a funk but here I am, forcing myself out 😬

Requests Are Open!

After the events of Cuba, Charles hadn’t been the same. He wasn’t to blame, of course, his whole world had changed with a single bullet. It was heartbreaking to witness the once cheerful man turn into this broken person. He plastered on a smile when he needed to and he pretended to be the same cheeky man, but (Y/N) knew it was an act. Not only had he lost his legs, but he also lost Raven and his best friend Erik that day. Despite Erik being capable of making his own choices, Charles blamed himself for what happened. He blamed himself relentlessly and it annoyed (Y/N) because she knew the turmoil it was giving the man. She hated seeing Charles putting himself through that self-inflicting guilt. 

No matter how many times (Y/N) or Hank tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault, Charles still continued to place the blame on himself. Charles did stop communicating that guilt out loud around them when they visited him in the hospital, but (Y/N) was willing to bet that it still resided in the back of his mind. She didn’t have to be a telepath to know that because she could easily see it in his eyes. She liked to think that she knew him well enough through everything they’ve gone through together. 

Before Cuba, Charles and Erik had found her working a tireless job to keep herself off of the streets. She was barely scraping by and she lived in a crappy one-bedroom apartment. It was located in the bad part of town and the crime rates were skyrocketing, but the mayor didn’t care to fix that. So she suppressed her powers and forced herself to fight for what little she had. She couldn’t afford for her landlord to figure out that she was a mutant and kick her out. Thankfully her mutation was easy to hide, as long as her emotions were kept intact. The only hint at her mutant powers was the growing life around her wherever she went, meaning, she could manipulate plant life either with a thought or a simple touch. It aggravated her to see people treat the plants in her neighborhood soo poorly. 

When Erik and Charles first went to collect her, she couldn't understand what they would want with a girl like her. She was on the verge of homelessness, worked a dead-end job, and had a criminal record. The charges against her weren’t too serious, a couple of shoplifting charges and she might have beat a guy up here and there who tried to attack her. But regardless, she knew she wouldn’t fit in with the others Charles and Erik had recruited. So when she met them, she glared her way through each conversation and ignored the CIA’s requests. But for some reason, Charles managed to worm his way into her heart. Maybe it was his charming smile that should have annoyed her or his eyes that were shockingly blue. Or maybe it was the fact that he understood her even though he was the complete opposite of her. Whatever it was, Charles was the only one who had seen her softer side. 

It was almost funny seeing Hank’s shocked face when he witnessed her caring side for the first time. They had both decided to visit Charles in the hospital when Charles had asked for a small favor, some comfortable clothes, and (Y/N) had readily offered to get them. Hank was possibly more surprised than was necessary. (Y/N) did nice things! The other day she helped Erik with his powers, granted that was before he betrayed them and Hank wasn’t there to witness it. Now though, (Y/N) reserved her soft spot for Charles. Hank seemed to understand, he didn’t make any comments about it; but that was probably because when Alex did, (Y/N) manipulated the roots of a tree to keep him stuck for a whole night until Charles turned a disapproving eye on her. He learned his lesson after that though.

But that was all before Cuba. Now it was just (Y/N), Hank, Alex, Banshee, and Charles. But even Banshee and Alex went their own way. (Y/N) couldn’t say where they went, she wasn’t sure. But she did know that their departure had added to Charles’ grief and guilt. She made it her duty to stay by his side while he was in the hospital, a reassurance that she wouldn’t leave him. Charles had turned her into this soft mushy person and it scared her shitless. She couldn’t remember the last time she had loved someone. But the thought of him leaving or being taken away terrified her. Charles terrified her. But she pulled herself together so he wouldn’t realize anything was wrong, he didn’t need any extra guilt.

(Y/N) sat next to Charles's bedside, a book in her hands to keep her busy while Charles slept. She arrived early that day because of the construction happening on the street where the hospital was located and she didn’t want to be late. She wasn’t expecting Charles to be awake which was why she brought the book. She was immersed in the story when Charles woke up, which is why he surprised her. 

“You’re here early,” He spoke groggily.

The flowers’ leaves on the other side of Charles’s bedside shot out of their vase and wrapped around Charles’s wrist, forcing it flush against the bed. (Y/N) might have gotten startled since she was distracted. She looked up with a guilty smile and released his wrist when he gave her an unamused look. “Sorry, you scared me,” She grumbled.

“It’s alright, love,” Charles rubbed his wrist. He hadn’t expected the grip to hurt since they were tulip leaves.

“How’d you sleep?” (Y/N) set the book in her hands aside and shifted so she could face Charles. 

“Okay, I guess. I’m ready to get out of here,” He shrugged. He adjusted the bed so he could sit up.

“I can ask the doctor when you can be released if  you’d like?” (Y/N) offered. 

‘No, it’s okay,” Charles waved her off, “I’d much rather keep your company a little longer,” He smiled. 

(Y/N) nodded, a faint smile on her lips. “Of course,” She drummed her fingers on her lap. “Did you need anything? The nurse? More medicine? Food?” 

“I’m alright for now, thanks though… Can I ask you a question?” Charles hesitated.

“Yeah, anything.”

“Do you mind if, you can say no, but do you mind if I ask you to sing me a song? I’ve been quite bored here and the radio stations are rather crappy and there’s never anything good on the telly,” He rambled.

“Oh, uh,” (Y/N) furrowed her brows, what song would she sing?

“Never mind, it was weird of me to ask, you don’t-”

“No, I’ll sing for you uh, Is it okay if it’s in Sweden? I can’t really remember any songs right now,” (Y/N)’s cheeks flushed and her fingers began to fidget in her lap.

“I don’t mind,” He smiled kindly.

(Y/N) nodded and cleared her throat, here went nothing, “Lyckan kommer, lyckan går. Dom säger tiden läker sår. Jag släcker lampor. Jag öppnar fönster. Letar efter mönster. Jag kommer aldrig. Jag kommer aldrig, kommer. Kommer aldrig komma hem.”

‘Happiness comes, happiness goes. They say that time heals wounds. I turn off lamps, I open windows. Searching after patterns, I will never, I will never, will never come home,’ Charles lay back in his bed, his eyes closing as his mind translated the lyrics for him, one of the better aspects of his telepathy, the ability to understand any language.

“Flyktsoda, ta mig i hand. Sätt mig i brand, ibland ibland ibland. Flyktsoda ta mig i land. Sätt mig i brand, ibland ibland ibland,” (Y/N) could feel her stomach flipping, her chest filling with anxiety. She hadn’t realized how much this song actually meant until now. She hadn’t been happy before Charles came into her life. She was merely going through the motions, living because it was expected of her, but with Charles, hell even Hank, they gave her a reason to keep going. Only Charles was her reason for staying.

‘Escapesoda take my hand. Set me on fire, sometimes sometimes sometimes. Escapesoda bring me to shore. Set me on fire, sometimes sometimes sometimes,’ Charles inhaled deeply, (Y/N)’s voice soothing the ache in his chest. He appreciated everything she has done for him while he was hospitalized. If it weren’t for her, he was sure he wouldn’t have made it out in one piece. He barely made it with her there, but her persistent presence kept him grounded and kept him from falling into despair. 

“Var inte rädd för mig. Jag är så rädd för dig,” (Y/N)’s voice stuttered over the words. They pierced her heart when she sang them. They rang true and she was afraid it revealed just how much Charles affected her.

“Don't be afraid of me. I'm so afraid of you,” Charles's eyes opened when he heard the vulnerability in her voice. He looked at her with questioning eyes, he almost felt bad when he read what she was thinking. 

“Do you really think that I am afraid of you?” He asked softly.

“I, well, everyone else was, why not you too? I hurt you just a little while ago,” She pointed to his wrist.

Charles's wrist was rubbed raw from the leaf, but it wasn’t too bad, plus he had startled her, “I startled you, it wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s not the point Charles, I’ve done some bad things so why wouldn’t you fear me?”

“You fought to protect yourself. You are so much more than your powers, (Y/N). You’re magnificent, you’re amazing.” Charles wished he could reassure her and comfort her more, but his fucking legs couldn’t move. He shifted as best as he could, “Now why do you fear me?” He wondered.

(Y/N)’s heart was racing, she swore her heartbeat was louder than the heart monitor attached to Charles. “I- you don’t- why-” She ran her hand through her hair. “If I tell you, promise me this won’t change anything between us, okay? You’re all I have and I can’t lose you as a friend.” She spoke softly.

Charles nodded, “You could never lose me.”

(Y/N) bit her lip, wondering how to start. How does one even tell the person they love they fear them because of the hold they have on their heart? Charles managed to shove his way into her life and now she couldn’t picture her life without him in it. “I fear you because how easily you fit into my life,” She looked up at him, tears in her eyes, though she didn’t know why she was crying, shame maybe? “For a long time now it’s been just me, I had nobody, my parents didn’t want me, my landlord was looking for any reason to evict me, my co-workers were all selfish assholes, and I’ve been attacked countless times by men in the streets. I made sure no one could misuse my trust and I made sure no one could hurt me, but here you are,” She wiped a stray tear that ran down her cheek, “You pushed through the walls I’ve built and now I’m afraid to lose you.”

(Y/N) ran her hand through her hair again, she probably looked so pathetic to Charles.

“You could never look pathetic,” Charles reached his hand out to her which (Y/N) hesitantly took, “I know I said this wouldn’t change anything, but perhaps it can change just a little?” 

(Y/N)’s brows furrowed in confusion.

“Perhaps once I get out of here we can go on a date?” Charles asked nervously, “You don’t have to agree, and we can continue like normal, but now that I know for sure that you harbor feelings towards me maybe we can-” 

(Y/N) stood from her seat to press her lips to Charles’s cutting off his ramblings. She pulled away from the kiss and smiled, “I’d love to go on a date with you.”

Charles grinned, almost looking like his old cheeky self. He might have lost some things in Cuba, but he gained something too. He’d be damned if he let (Y/N) be taken away from him too. “I hope you know you’re stuck with me now.”

“I guess I can live with that,” (Y/N) laughed, “But promise me one thing okay?” At Charles nodded, (Y/N) continued, “Never tell anyone that I sang to you.”

Charles laughed despite her serious look, “I promise not to tell anyone.”

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Restless

“I have a request!! I dont mind waiting 😌, How about one y/n is an idol and she collapses on stage and other groups are watching, Jeonghan or Wonwoo (doesn't matter) watches (but their relationship is secret) and he rushes or something and reveals it (Ooo)... something like that, I really just want an idol yn x idol 😁”

Overworking yourself wasn’t really what you had intended when your company told you that it was about time for a comeback.

When you agreed to help Jihoon and Bumzu compose the song and write lyrics you hadn’t expected it to take up so much of your time, and you certainly hadn’t planned on spending so much time making the demo. In fact, the more that the company gave you the opportunity to be hands on- with the album and the song and the choreography- the more you jumped at the opportunity to help out.

The album sort of become a child to you, the comeback something that you thought about day and night.

Your group still wasn’t big enough for you to be making any really income from your careers, so you were still working part-time to make money to support your family. Between working on the album, practicing dances and shoots for the comeback, you didn’t have a lot of time to sleep, or eat as much as you should be (or at all really).

So you knew that when it came down to it you weren’t really taking care of your body.

And you sort of just ignored that.

You were an idol after all. You didn’t have time to worry about taking care of your body and eating three meals a day and sleeping for more then a handful of hours at night.

You were growing up, and you had ten times the amount of responsibilities that you used to have. You really didn’t have the time to slow down or worry about shutting down. You just had to push harder and cross your fingers that nothing bad happened.

“You’re pushing yourself too hard.”

The soft warning came to you as a surprise, as you finished stretching late after practice. You looked up, shocked to find Jeonghan leaning in the doorway.

What had always been more surprising to you then your success in the kpop community, had to be Jeonghan’s appreciation over you.

From your first day as a trainee at Pledis Jeonghan had paid a lot of attention to you. He got you water bottles after practice and ate ramen with you at two in the morning.  It had always left you so surprised- to the point of actually having to hide in the bathroom, hand over your heart, heart beating so fast you could hardly stand it.

You still remembered how shocked you were when the trainees started to tease you about how Jeonghan had a crush on you. You still hardly believed that he liked you- especially now that you two were dating. Despite the fact that he spent his free time with you and gave you the chaste’s of kisses on his hardest days.

Of course, him liking you only meant that he knew you very well- a little too well if you had any say in it.

“Jeonghan! Why are you still up?” You asked, your voice soft. “Aren’t you busy-”

“Deflecting?” Jeonghan interrupted, pushing himself lightly out of the doorway. “Oh wait, that’s what you are doing.”

You bit down momentarily on your lip shyly, hiding your hands behind your back. Jeonghan didn’t mind it. He just closed the space between you two and wrapped his arms lightly around your waist.

“I’m just... Worried about you,” he murmured back. “Jihoon says you’re spending about as much time in the studio as he does and Soonyoung says you double that time in the practice room. Do you even sleep?”

“Of co-” Jeonghan cut you a look.

“Because your roommate certainly acts like you don’t,” he continued. “Apparently you aren’t there when Bokyung goes to sleep or wakes up.”

“Bokyung sleeps like a rock!” You protested.

“I know you’re worried about this comeback,” he mumbled. “But you can’t keep pushing yourself like this. It’s just not healthy.”

You knew there was no point in arguing with Jeonghan when he got like this. He clearly thought he was right and deep down you knew he was. You took a deep breath and pressed up towards Jeonghan, getting up on your tiptoes. You smiled at him, hoping the expression would distract him.

“I’ll sleep as much as I can tonight,” you promised. Jeonghan hummed suspiciously so you rolled your eyes and pressed your lips to his again.

You could tell he was trying to stay assertive- doing his best not to be wavered by your clear distracting actions, but a second kiss and he was putty in your hands.

“You’re going to be the death of me,” Jeonghan mumbled. “If you aren’t the death of yourself.”

You laughed softly tugging Jeonghan closer to you

“Come on Jeonghan, I’m soon to be a famous idol,” you said with a teasing hum. “You better take advantage of your time with me before all my fans drag me away from you.”

Jeonghan laughed at the prospect which made you scrunch your nose in protest and so you swatted at his chest in annoyance.

“Get out of here,” you said with a laugh of your own. “I just need to practice one teeny tiny part of the dance one more time before bed.”

Jeonghan gave you a look- like he was going to lecture you again, but before he could you raised your finger to his lips.

“Stop worrying so much. I always take care of myself Jeonghan I’m going to be fine.”

It wasn’t really like you were trying to lie to Jeonghan. You really did intend to take your health more in consideration after you spoke. After all, it really wasn’t like Jeonghan to worry so much and it especially wasn’t like him to nag. He tended to let you make your own mistakes- he knew firsthand that you learned best when you just messed up and picked yourself back up.

So seeing him watching you with such a concerned expression from the side made you worry about what you were doing to your body more than before.

But saying that you were going to take care of yourself certainly was a lot easier than actually doing so.

By the time the lights came up on stage, you standing in position at the center stage, waiting for the first few notes of your song to start playing with only a few hours of sleep and a slice of toast in you there wasn’t really much that you could do.

The whole company was offstage, you could feel Jeonghan’s eyes in particular on you, watching you carefully as the song began. Your teammates were radiating hope as you all stood there.

You had to do perfect. All of the pressure was on you and the rest of your group. This comeback had to be perfect.

The music began and you swiftly switched positions- only to strike another sharp pose only a moment later. Your youngest member strutted up to center stage, singing the first few lines of the song and on beat the rest of you followed. You kicked out your foot dropping down to the ground and coming right back up in an instant.

You found the nearest camera and gave it a smile as you brushed your hair out of your face. You switched positions with the member closest to you and winked as you passed by one another.

You didn’t have many lines at the beginning of the song, as you were mostly a dancer and a vocalist. So, you were quick to take your spot on the other side of the stage as another member took center. The song beat began to increase and your dance moves became faster and more precise- but as you moved your vision began to blur in the corners of your eyes.

You barely held back an air of frustration as you fought for full control of your body, but a small stumble of yourself on your feet told yourself that it was a losing battle. The world around you was playing in slow-motion, and while you were still keeping up the impending darkness that was threatening to take over your vision told you that you needed to sit down- and you needed to sit down as soon as possible.

You knew that right after the chorus of the song there was a part of the choreography that was on the ground. If you could just make it to that part then maybe-

You didn’t even realize that you had fallen until Jeonghan was the only thing in your vision.

You felt warm arms wrap themselves around your limp body- an action that only made you protest weekly. A few faint blinks and you noticed that everyone in your group was looking at you with concerned expressions, and the music for your song wasn’t playing anymore.

You were still onstage- you could discern that simply from the look on his face. You pressed your lips together and try to move away from him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. Your body simply wasn’t reacting right to you.

“Wh-what-”

“You never listen to me,” Jeonghan snapped at you.

“Are we still on stage?” You asked hazily. “Jeonghan what are you-”

“You collapsed because you don’t take care of yourself.”

Jeonghan’s tone of voice silenced you in an instance. You couldn’t recall a time in which he had sounded so upset with you- or anyone really. His face with red, and his eyes were hidden beneath his bangs, but you had a feeling that if you could actually see them it would only make you feel worse.

“You kept saying don’t worry Jeonghan, and I’ll be okay Jeonghan, without even batting an eye,” Jeonghan continued. “I’m the one who is supposed to be the liar. Relationships are about communication.”

You gave Jeonghan a sheepish smile.

“Lying is a form of communication.”

The look that you received back from Jeonghan made you regret every action you had made in the last ten years of your life. After all you wouldn’t take back the risk of collapsing on stage. But you would take back the risk of upsetting Jeonghan based on your arguably immature decisions.

Before you could apologize or try to get up again or do anything productive Jeonghan picked you up, your head lolled against his shoulder and your legs draped over his arms.

“We’re going home.”

And for once, you chose the smarter option and didn’t argue with Jeonghan.

-

The ticking of the clock behind you made you want to scream in frustration. You were wasting time. Just sitting in the room twiddling your thumbs when you should be practicing for your next stage was- if nothing else- extremely frustrating. You began to hum your new song under your breath, but as soon as the first note left your mouth you were hit on the shoulder.

“Absolutely not.”

“But-”

Jeonghan cut you off with a sharp glare, and you groaned falling back on your bed.

You didn’t want to rest, you didn’t care how relieved your muscles were for the break, and how much less your body shook now that you were actually eating normally. An hour sitting there doing nothing sounded like a waste.

No- it didn’t sound like a waste it was a waste.

But after the incident Jeonghan hadn’t given you even a moments time to yourself. He was there with you twenty-four hours, babying you more than even your own parents.

You pulled out your phone and began to scroll through some of the latest entertainment news. Each article was worse than the last, so you just picked one that seemed the most intriguing and began to read.

“Why does everyone assume that I’m the domestic one,” you mumbled after a few moments of silence. Jeonghan glanced up at you but didn’t speak so you just continued. “I mean you’re the one who won’t leave me alone these days.”

“I’d leave you alone if you had ever proved you were capable of taking care of yourself,” Jeonghan replied bluntly. “And all you proved was that you weren’t.”

You tossed your phone aside and rolled over onto your stomach as you stared up at him.

“Aren’t I being punished enough?” You asked weakly. “I’m not allowed to practice or work. My phone has been ringing nonstop because my parents want to meet you. Our comeback has been delayed three whole months for my health and both you and my groups are now under fire by netizens because of our stupid relationship.” Jeonghan snorted.

“The netizens are just jealous that you’re dating someone as gorgeous as me.”

You sent him a deadpan expression to which he sighed.

“Come here,” he mumbled patting the bed beside him. You wiggled over to him and as soon as you had settled yourself into his side, he pulled you close with an arm across the shoulders. “You’re stupid.”

Your jaw dropped and before you could demand why he had said that he continued:

“Because you worry about the wrong things. You’re worried about what netizens think about our relationship, but you’re still not worried about the fact that you collapsed on stage because you weren’t taking care of yourself,” Jeonghan said softly.

“You don’t have to worry about me,” you repeated for what felt like the millionth time. “I’m fine.”

“But you aren’t fine,” Jeonghan argued. “And your body told you that while you were making that comeback. If you were fine you wouldn’t have collapsed. If you were fine, we wouldn’t be here.”

You bit down on your lip, wanting to argue with Jeonghan further but... You knew that he was right. You were a little bit extreme when it came to preparations and if you had listened to him sooner then you wouldn’t be in this huge mess to begin with.

“I...” You hesitated. “I just wanted this comeback to go flawlessly. I’m the leader I have to set an example.”

“Before you’re a leader you’re their friend and frankly before you’re their friend your mine.”

Your eyes rolled at the sentiment, but just being called Jeonghan’s made warmth crawl up your neck.

“Just promise me, really promise me that you will take your health more seriously.”

Jeonghan’s fingers suddenly prodded at your handed, clearly wanting to intertwine with yours. After only a moment of thought you let his join yours.

“I promise.”

And this promise, you were going to actually fight to keep.

[flooffybits]

Where You At

Idol: Jeon Heejin (Loona)

Request: Yes

Anon: okay then! :) mind if i request a heejin scenario wherein she had to break up with s/o back when they were trainees because she knew thought that both of them wouldn’t make it if they continue? eventually, loona debuted and one day, they attended an award show and she didn’t know s/o’s group would be there as well considering they were rookies (loona sunbaenims hihi) and memories of them started flashing back. maybe a bittersweet ending? sorry if this is too much work author-nim :(

Author’s note: as soon as i read this, i immediately thought of their song where you at (hyejoos part there hurts) also! you dont have to apologize! its okay

The sound of the people screaming the name of their favorite groups or artists was all everyone could really hear aside from the mc’s voice and the background music that played at the background.

Loona was situated a bit nearer to the stage and they couldn’t hold their excitement when they found out that they would be attending the award show. Even though they’ve been to various ones, this one was much bigger with various artists and fans all over the arena. Staring at the stage, Heejin felt her knee bouncing while she fiddled with her dress. She wasn’t typically nervous, but this was a big event and she was nervous about the outcome.

“You okay?” Jungeun asked the younger girl when she leaned a bit closer and Heejin nodded her head, exhaling while she plastered a smile. “Yeah, still kind of adjusting.” She admits, making the latter nod before smiling and patting her arm. “It’s a huge event. I didn’t even think we’d be invited.” She comments and Heejin nibbled on her lower lip. “Yeah.”

The program was going to last for a while longer and various artists have gone up the stage to perform and even accept awards, Loona being one of them. The night was just full of surprise and excitement, but nothing could prepare Heejin for the next group that was called on stage.

Her eyes darted over and her breathing hitched when she saw the six people. The group passed by earlier, but she was too busy talking to Jungeun and Yeojin to notice them. But now that she could finally see all of the new faces, her heart dropped when they landed on your familiar face.

“Heejin…” Hyunjin’s worried voice met her ears and she clenched her fists tightly under the table. She knows that you had debuted a little later than she did. After the two of you decided to be trainees, the relationship didn’t last long because one, you weren’t accepted into her company, and were scouted elsewhere. The second reason was because neither your schedules could work out. When you did get to see each other, you were both just so tired and the time wasn’t even enough for her.

So she decided to just end it for both your sake and careers.

When she focused on Loona, she has forgotten all about you. She forced herself to keep in mind that it was for the best, even if she did have to rip both your hearts out that day, but there were instances that you would stray back into her head, especially when your name and face popped up online.

She was thrown back to the time where you were both just regular teenagers, getting through school with dreams up in the sky. Your laughter was always relaxing to hear after a particularly bad day and she often wonders if she hadn’t given up on you that day.

Seeing you on stage, dancing and singing your heart out made her remember just how passionate you were with the things you loved; her included.

Heejin had been at the center of your world ever since you both started dating and she admitted that you were hers, too. Every day, you were by each other’s side and she would always see her future on a stage, with you.

She would dream of happier times with you, where you would both walk to and from school, stopping by the park and sit under a tree, talking about all the things you would do once you grew up.

Your eyes were sharper and more mature from the last time she saw you. From the videos she’s seen of you, your heart was guarded now, and she hates that it’s because she forced you to do it. When you were singing your part, taking center stage, your eyes locked with hers, since she wasn’t far from the stage. She felt the wind knocked out of her lungs by the way you looked, but you were quick to look away.

You could have fought back that day, she thinks. When she told you that she was breaking up with you, she could tell that you wanted to stop her, but all that came out was a pained ‘why’ while you were trying not to cry. You could have said that you could still work it out, you could have made time for each other.

She wanted to know what was going through your head that day. She could tell that your heart breaking, but she didn’t want to stick around to see it crumble when she was the one that left.

Heejin often wondered if you ever wanted to go back, if you missed her the way she missed you. Even though she knows that she has no right, she still missed you, and to see you in person again reminded her just how much she did.

If you gave the word, she would come running to you. She wanted you back, but that would be too selfish of her.

You’ve done nothing but love and support her, comfort her when she needed, and listened to her when she just wanted to pour out everything that was on her chest.

Before your group surfaced and started gaining fame, maybe she did forget you, buried you in the back of her mind and pretended that you were never there. When she did that, it felt like she was erasing a whole chunk of her life and it made her miserable. And when she does go back to certain memories, she finds herself wanting to just curl up and cry because you’re always there, lingering somewhere and her heart can’t just forget about you.

Your voice soon rang, belting out the high note and making fans scream loudly and it shakes Heejin inside just how powerful and raw it sounds. Hyunjin placed her hand over her own and gave it a small squeeze, being one of the few that knew what had happened since she was your friend, too.

When your performance came to an end, they clapped and Heejin’s eyes never left your figure as you left the stage and began to head back to your seats, now realizing that you weren’t really that far away with just two tables between you. She wanted to go up to you and talk, but that would cause a ruckus among fans.

She decided that waiting until the event was over would be the best and if she were given the chance, she would talk to you. If you let her.

Heejin has never wanted an award show to end as bad as this one. Though she appreciates all the people present, she just wanted to try and talk to you. That was the only thing in her mind at the moment, failing to think of the possibility that you might not want to see her.

But when you were awarded for rookie of the year, Heejin could feel her heart swell in pride while also a pang. She could be celebrating that with you, she thinks. You’ve worked so hard and here you were, getting the recognition that you deserved.

She watched as your group accepted the award and then you were all looking to each other until you were pushed in front of the group by your youngest member. You looked surprised by the suddenness when you turned to the mic and cleared your throat.

“Ah, this is… wow.” Your voice grew soft as you glanced at your group, all of them smiling and letting you continue. “It hasn’t been that long since our debut, but thank you for being able to believe in us and supporting us. To our managers who have looked after us, to our director who believed in our potential, to our friends and family for reminding us of our goals, and most especially to our dedicated fans for working just as hard as us, we wouldn’t be here without you. Thank you.” After your speech, all of you bowed and made your way back to your seats, your hands shaking after such a turn of events and your leader had to grab you just so you could go back and sit down.

After that, everything seemed to go back to normal, and when it was time to go, Hyunjin looked at her friend in worry. “What are you going to do?” She asked carefully and the older girl ran her fingers through her hair, nibbling on her lip as she glanced to your group, who was saying goodbye to the other artists. “I want to talk to Y/n.” She whispered, her arms going around herself.

“Girls, come on.” Sooyoung called out, waving all of them over and Heejin felt her heart drop. Was she really going to leave without getting to say anything?

But the direction Sooyoung was leading everyone was in the same direction your group was headed and she immediately felt her adrenaline rushing when you slowly neared. She held her breath and as soon as you were near, her members were congratulating you and your members while you gave them a smile.

When your eyes meet, it takes everything in her not to hug you. She forces a smile, Hyunjin standing right beside her and smiling at you in greeting. “Congratulations.” They said and you chuckle awkwardly, shifting your weight from one foot to another. “Thank you.”

Judging from your actions and facial expression, she knows that you weren’t expecting her to approach you. But then, you smiled at her again, a little softer from earlier while Hyunjin subtly left to talk to the other members. “You were great out there.” You tell her and a lump forms in her throat. “You, too.” She mutters, all the things she wanted to say now lost.

It’s been a couple years since she’s been this close to you and her heart was jumping out of her chest with your familiar presence that she couldn’t help herself. “I’m sorry.”

Surprised, you stared at the girl before shaking your head. “It’s okay. You did what you had to.” You assure her but she’s shaking her head. She was sorry for so many things.

I’m sorry for breaking your heart.

I’m sorry for abandoning you.

I’m sorry, I hurt you.

I’m sorry for being scared.

I’m sorry for breaking my promise.

She was close to crying, and even when you didn’t want to crack under her stare, you could tell that she was tormenting herself with the past. So quietly, you reached for her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze, her fingers enveloping yours while she squeezed back. “It’s okay.” You repeated, voice soft.

“Y/n, come on!” Your leader called and you looked up, retrieving your hand while you nodded your head and Heejin was terrified that this may be the one and only time she’ll ever see you again.

“I have to-”

“Can we meet somewhere? Please?”

The conflict is clear on your face and it’s understandable, but Heejin wanted to be able to make things right. And maybe, just maybe, she could get you back.

“I… don’t know, Heejin.” The way her name rolls off your tongue makes her warm at the familiarity of it. But she presses for a better answer. “Please, I just want to talk and then… and then you can decide then.” She was pleading, begging for even just a few minutes, and as much as your mind told you that it wasn’t going to be a good idea, your heart wasn’t cooperating.

With a sigh, you looked around before nodding your head. “Okay.” You dug into your bag to see if there was anything to write on, and luckily, there was a rolled up piece of paper that you haven’t thrown away yet. After writing your number, you hand it to her and she grips it tightly.

“I’ll talk to you later.”

And then you were being led out by your group members, giving her a hesitant glance before you were finally out of the door and this time, she was the one left watching you go.

When they’re on their way home, Heejin glances at your number a few times, unable to fall asleep like the rest of her friends because her thoughts were far too loud to keep her from sleeping.

She had a chance. She just needed to do it properly.

Hey Y/n

[clementineesotsm]

THE KING: ETERNAL MONARCH EP 15, My Appreciation and How It Made Me Feel

PM Koo teams up with LR. At least that is what PM was thinking. But for LR, slight different. He thinks PM will somehow give advantage for him but ended up disappointed, because PM cannot become a queen, and suspended as a PM. She cant even near a high position now. She cannot get Gon or Kingdom of Corea and that pisses LR off. PM become greedy and put her guard down. He thinks LR wanted a cooperation and inform him that she will take Gon’s flute for her. Which makes LR mad and choke her 🤣🤣 LR asking her to bring him into Gon’s mom mass memorial day and leave her

Gon is back to kingdom now. He hugs Lady Noh so tight 🥺 he is thankful to her for everything that she have done for him. Apparently Gon indebted to her much. I loved her punchline “i know pyeha / 압니다 폐하” means she understand things that Gon cant even / doesn’t have to explain. I love their relationship

Gon exiled Prince Buyeong’s son so that he cannot go back to Corea, because he found out that he is LR accomplice on the treason night. Gosh i hate that man!

Apparently Gon took KSJ to Corea to let him see his real mom. This scene was well made! Acting wise, amazing. KSJ lines, amazing. Music, amazing! Poor KSJ. He is also growing up becoming a stoic character 🥺🥺

Conversation between KSJ and Gon feels a bit heavy. Gon told KSJ about his plan, apparently he dont plan to save himself this time. The target is to get or kill LR. So Gon is planning to go and sacrifice himself for the good 🥺🥺 i loooove Gon’s facial expression here. And his eyes speaks his fear but also trying to accept his fate. Something like “sigh-ing”

LR was back to Korea to prepare his big plan. But unfortunately he let his guard down, SJH put poison in the food to kill herself basically. And LR minion couldn’t save her because Gon was set to cross the portal at that time so times stops. SJH was finally relief to be able to die, but here i am crying 🥺🥺 and her using LR punchline before while dying was cool thought by the writer! “Did you pray?” !!!

And did you realize? LR face most of the time was always stain with blood. Poor him 😅

Another appreciation was to the editing team, they did a great job in this scene. Especially for the scoring 💯💯💯

LR took his gun and run outside, then he met Gon!

LR “i even transcends death, but how is it that im unable to avoid you? How did you find me here?”

Gon “it would be good if it was me alone, but im not.”

“Some one sets the time (SJH)

Someone chases after you (i assume this was KSJ/the detectives)

Someone prays for you to get caught (this could be Lady Noh and JTE)

And someone is going to fight you (Gon, JY, KSJ) “

Then LR said that Gon should have wait him at the memorial not confront him here. This kind of storyline was fresh for me too. Because usually story like this always go with “make the doomed happen first then resolve it after” but with TKEM, the main character manage to prevent the doomed before it happened. Which im fine with it because its possible. But i kind agree with LR. Can we get that chaos in the mass memorial first then solve it? That would be epic. But then maybe they dont have enough time to explore that. Maybe in another timeline, reality or universe. But this is also satisfying and well done. If you can prevent it, why not? That is more work in a smart way.

Gon then took LR to bamboo forest to check on how to use the flute to travel back to 1994. What Gon knew, the flute need to be whole inside to do so. But then how to do it was a bit tricky. It needs both LR and Gon to be inside the space between 0 and 1. Because each of their blood soak into each of the flute. Gon was a bit in dilemma because he need someone to go inside the gate with LR in order for it to happen. What scary was nobody knew whats going to happen with that person if he succeeded or fail. All assuming that person will go inside and dead. Then KSJ volunteered to do so. OMFG! P.S then we also got a glimpse of the portal when the flute was whole. Kind of cool. If fills with so many universe and possible of eternity life !

SO THE LR INTERROGATION THAT WE SAW IN EP 1 WAS ACTUALLY FROM EPS 15! Wahh im impressed. I did not see that coming! Gon also doing his final honor for SJH and buried / burned her body properly (brb cry 😭) and to prepare if something bad happen he ask secretary Mo to announce that Se Jin (Prince Buyeong granddaughter) will be the first in line to replace Gon if something happen to him 🥺🥺 Secretary Mo and JY looks worried

Then something weird happened. Suddenly the flower that Gon gave to JTE on eps 10 disappeared. JTE worried that Gon already preparing for the reset and he will be gone forever from her memories 🥺 she comes to see LR and ask where is the flute? LR was pissed here, because he don’t understand why people are not scared and tend to give their lives away to make things right. He doesn’t understand love 🥺🥺 and LR was stays evil to the end because he kills Se Jin and swap PM Koo mother. Which is very scary! KGE, LJJ, LMH, JEC acting in this sequence was out of this world. The director and all team was making this sequence very well too. All the thrilled was there even though it was just a short scene each. I loved them more now but we are left with only 1 episode for the finale 🥺🥺🥺

In Korea, JTE released Luna. JTE have a planned to go with LR into the space between 1 and 0 because she is afraid if Gon will alone doing his duty 🥺 She basically ready to leave Korea forever because she asked Luna to take her place while she was gone. JTE asking Luna to steal LR to bring him to JTE and JTE come to KSJ to ask for the flute and let her replace him to do the duty. And it was the most heartbreaking conversation between this two friends and one of the most heartbreaking confession i have ever watched. I loved how they shot this scene, the camera seems to be shaking, i think its cool and also the way KSJ holds JTE hand 🥺🥺

Kudos to KGE and KKN here! Damn! Where is your daesang again?!

Finally here we saw that jacket of doomed which we saw on eps 1 and eps 10 worn by Gon. Its his ceremonial outfit that he supposed to wear during his most glorious moments. And him following his destiny to die for the sake of doing right things, teared me up. Before he go back to the past, he visit Lady Noh for a final goodbye, seriously i cried. He told Lady Noh about kim sowol poems, Gon knew that she was coming from Korea. Gon was also conveying his feelings to her “thanks to you, i can read such a beautiful poems”. Gon asked Lady Noh to let him go again and the way she said “if i let you go this time, will you ever comeback?” And cried, teared me up too. Meanwhile JTE also prepared to go with LR inside the portal, she is using the necklace from Gon, the one that has the symbol of Corea 🥺 its for her also her glorious moments. Surprisingly Gon going inside the portal not alone, JY was there to company him. As what he promised, he will be there in any battlefield Gon is about to go through 🥺🥺🥺

How it made me feel:

What a solid episode! This eps making my eyes swelled. It was full with bittersweet moments, thrilling moments, a lot of goodbyes, a lot of revelation, and it left me anxious for the finale. How can they solved this all? Can we still get a happy ending? Also this episode was so cool because the ending is the beginning. What we saw on eps 1 was actually a flashback! No wonder the screen size was different. Like what they usually used for past events! Cool!

What i also wants to appreciate is Kim Eun Sook writing skill. I have to admit im not a big fan of her, sometimes her script was a bit cheesy, overly dramatic and predictable. But since mr sunshine and especially TKEM she changed that all and turns out to be more mature. And darker? For me TKEM is focusing more on doing the right things, it has values more than just a rich boys/cool boys meets a cool ordinary girls and falls in love premise and finish. But this time its about true value of love, true value of relationship, about responsibility, vulnerability. At some point it reminds me of harry potter. TKEM gave me the same feelings/premise to while i was reading/watching HP. I loved how it turned out so far, its up to the finale. Will it be one of the best series i have ever watched? Or no?

Also, i really loved how KES writes KSJ character, he has so many reason to be bad. But he did not. I loved how she portrays a very good example of stoicism in his characters. Very good 💯

Another appreciation is for the directing and cinematography, guys, you blown me away!

[curiousconch]

Sobering Truth

Chapter 10 of Ricochet (An Open Heart AU)

Catch up here: Series Masterlist

Chapter Synopsis: After the fallout of Rafael and Heather, what could this mean to Bryce and the recovering doctor? 

Pairing: Rafael Aveiro x MC (Dr. Heather Song) | Bryce Lahela x MC (Dr. Heather Song)

Words: 2.1k+ | Genre: Crime, Suspense/Thriller, Romance

Rating/Warnings: Mature (16+) / hints of past violent experience and sex

Author's Notes: Almost is Never Enough by Ariana Grande and Nathan Skyes was the perfect song for this chapter, the lyrics are very fitting. Also, watch out for a cameo from a PM character 😊

Thank you so much for taking time to read this series. Please let me know if you want me to include/remove you in the tags list. Also, disclaimer: Majority of the characters are owned by Pixelberry, except the main character Heather Song and an OC Jordan Anderson.

Bryce found himself hunched alone in a bar stool downtown Boston. He swirled the brown liquid in his glass, brows furrowed in remembering the scene in the hospital room. 

His face contorted with the pain piercing through his chest, the possibility of losing Heather once again sinking like a sword. He racked his mind for an option, but it seems all is lost in that battle.

He thought back to their last outing together, and he was so certain that something was there. So why did she choose to stay with someone else instead of being with him?

His lips formed a thin line, his hand rubbing over his face in frustration. The emotions within turbulent and unnerving. Was he just too much of a fool when he thought he had a shot with her? 

This is exactly why Bryce Lahela didn't want to commit. It was far more easier for him to seek momentary connections rather than build permanent ones. He didn't want to relive the rejections-filled past from his adolescence, at the time of his parents' criminal convictions. 

Yet here he was again, suffering the same consequences of wanting something permanent in his life. Something that could bring him happiness. Something better than him being alone in the middle of a crowd of drunken patrons. 

He should've stayed in his own lane of hook-ups and one night stands instead of chasing for this relationship. 

So the first thing he did when he realized that that door is closing, was to go back to his old stomping grounds. 

But why can't he will himself to look around? 

As if on queue, an olive-skinned woman slid herself beside him, her sudden presence invading his thoughts. With a half-smirk and green catty eyes, the coils of dark hair loosely wrapping her head. The mere sight of her was mesmerizing. 

"I know you," she said, almost in a purr. 

Bryce looked back at her, and a long-forgotten heat warmed him up. And it wasn't because of the alcohol in his system.

"I guess my reputation is my charm," he replied, leaning forward. He loosened his tie whilst sipping from his glass. 

"Oh I know all about your reputation," her voice made him shiver, her fingers ever slowly trailing a path towards his arm. "You're the one with magic hands," she whispered, her brows dancing as she spoke. 

This commanding woman was pushing his buttons in all the right places, her sparkly black cocktail dress that clung on her body tightly wasn't making him feel suddenly parched. 

Her hand continued to venture up his arm, and eventually the side of his neck. As it followed the line of his jaw, Bryce couldn't help but lean closer. 

Nothing was stopping him at the moment. 

Miles away from being sober, his lips blew a short burst of air into the woman's bare neck, after which he got the chance to breathe in a whiff of her perfume. 

The jasmine scent was all too familiar. It conjured the image of the woman who Bryce fled away from tonight. 

Heather. 

Snapping out of the trance, he took a step back. Gone was the sexual tension that floated in the air mere seconds ago. Bryce only shook his head to the woman and paid his tab, before almost sprinting out into the cold rain that continued to flood the concrete pavement. 

He let the drops of water wash all over him until he was soaked. With it, the inevitable tears began to fall, which he didn't hold back. He also didn't mind how it easily reduced the numbing effect of the bottle of Jack Daniels that he just consumed. 

Like a thief in the night, the woman of his dreams snatched what was left of Bryce's vulnerable heart. He knew, deep down, that it would take a long time before he can get it back. 

*** 

"Breaking news. Declan Nash and Jordan Anderson pleads guilty as co-conspirators of the kidnapping of Senator Ed Farrugia and Edenbrook doctor Heather Song."

"This is following an intensive investigation by the joint special task force created as the public clamored to protect Massachusetts famed senator. 

"We are joined today by one of the victims, Senator Ed Farrugia, after he gave his testimony today at the Boston courthouse."

The video flicked from a female news anchor to the steps of the city's courthouse, where the politician was joined by Chief DA Tanaka. Heather's hazel eyes however wasn't on the prominent people in the screen, but instead drawn to the tall figure standing beside the older man, his intimidating stature made more pronounced by the sharp gray suit that contoured just enough to please.

Bryce. 

Saying his name, even in her mind, made her involuntarily shudder with regret, aware that between them was an undeniable attraction that she just couldn't shake off. Ever since her kidnapping, she couldn't stop herself from thinking about what could've been. Was it just too late for them? Will it only remain a connection that can never be explored? Will it ever be something more? She knew, deep down, if she could change the world overnight, she wanted to try. If there was anything she could learn from her almost dying, it was the sobering truth that life was too short to be restrained by inaction.

But she hadn't been able to speak to him for a while now. He didn't answer his phone nor returned any of her texts or messages. She hoped to get the chance when she was scheduled for her recorded testimony. To her dismay, another ADA visited her and took her witness account. 

She thought he was just busy with the case, but she sensed that he was avoiding her altogether. Her free time provided her so many hours to rack her brain for the reason why. To this day, that question was left unanswered. 

Danny raised his gaze to Heather, as he felt her pulse beat faster than normal. He turned to the TV monitor in the hospital room, stifling a chuckle as he found the reason behind her palpitations.

"Let's try to do this again," Danny said, making Heather's attention swivel to him. 

"Why? Something wrong?" she asked, obviously confused. 

This time, Danny snickered, grabbing the remote from her and switched the channel. The gesture was enough to make her fluster as it dawned on her what the nurse was insinuating. 

"I can't put your last BPM on your chart, Heather. We dont want Dr. Ramsey to not sign off on your discharge papers today. Two weeks of him pestering us is enough torture to last a lifetime," he scoffed jokingly, referencing how the senior attending relentlessly chased the hospital staff to put her case on priority. 

She curtly nodded, her mentor's crass actions embarrassing her further. 

"Thanks, Danny." she sheepishly smiled, hoping the two words were enough to express her appreciation of how the hospital helped her get back on her feet during the roughest period of her life yet. 

Danny returned her gesture, before getting back to taking her pulse. Satisfied, he recorded it to the clipboard in his hand, as her friends thundered into the room. 

Sienna, Elijah, Jackie and Aurora all stepped inside, each carrying an assortment of food items. They moved their Sunday brunch to that day in celebration of Heather's discharge. The welcome noise warmed her heart, their usual banter flowing like music to her ears. 

The thundering of her deep-seated emotions momentarily toned down, as she enjoyed the company of the small family she found in Edenbrook. 

Outside, the weather was warm with no clouds threatening to dampen the surroundings. 

It was going to be a good day. 

*** 

As the last of the questions were addressed and the cameras were turned away, Bryce sighed in relief. 

With the news crews dispersed, Chief Tanaka left to head back to the DA's office, leaving him as second chair to wrap up all the remaining paperwork. He strutted into the courthouse, the ADA facade well in effect. 

It was an understatement to say that the past few weeks were hectic. 

Interviewing Declan Nash and Jordan Anderson was like being pulled into opposite poles. Their personalities were so polarizingly different that Bryce suspected that there was a more to the case than what appears. 

So he advised the special task force to dig into that angle. The FBI's investigation is still ongoing, and he is betting against it finishing soon. 

Today was a day of accomplishments, and Bryce's mood was better than it was ever since that night. Or so he thought. 

As his mind shifted back into the present, he caught the unwelcome sight of Agent Rafael Aveiro conversing with someone in the hallways. He managed to hear a glimpse of the conversation as they got into earshot. 

"You're background would be invaluable to us, Agent Rafael," the strange man in the tweed-colored jacket said. 

"This is such a timely offer that I couldn't refuse. I'll let you know as soon as I wrap up my last case." Bryce heard Raf say. 

"Of course. But please don't keep us in the Interpol on our toes, Agent." 

"Of course, Agent Nazario." 

Taken aback, he stopped, trying to understand what had just transpired. Why was Rafael taking a job with the interpol? 

Once Bryce saw that the special investigator was alone, he approached him, words blazing. 

"Interpol? Seriously, Raf, this soon?" 

Raf turned to face him, surprised at Bryce's sudden interjection. 

"I don't see the need to explain myself to you, ADA Lahela." He politely said as he begun to walk away. 

"But you just got back together! Why leave for an overseas job this soon when she needs you the most?" Bryce's voice rose, echoing into the nearly full hallway. He honestly didn't mind, weeks worth of bottled up frustration threatening to surface. 

A more puzzled expression filled Rafael's face, the line of interrogation making him turn around and stare back at the prosecutor. 

Rafael recognized the look on Bryce's face. It was a mirror of his own haunted reflection. Of a lost love, never to return. The confusion gave way to understanding. 

It made him soften his stance, and place a brotherly hand on the lawyer's shoulder. 

"Look, I don't know why you think that, but Heather and I..." he paused, taking a deep breath as he tried to bury the painful memory of their goodbye into the back of his mind. "We broke up. The same night that she was admitted to Edenbrook after her kidnapping, we talked and agreed to go our separate ways." 

Bryce couldn't believe what he was hearing, his knees weakening with the revelation. Amber eyes widened in shock and feeling like an idiot at the same time. 

He smiled despite himself, the nightmares of his imaginary rejection transformed into a wonderful dream. The door that he thought was closed is now unlocking, and he was determined to blow it wide open. 

With a hasty thank you and goodbye to Raf, he turned the soles of his leather shoes and raced to the door of the courthouse. 

Bryce didn't dare waste another minute to look back. 

Tags: @ramsey-lahela @eleanorbloom @openheartfanfics @choicesficwriterscreations

[dadbodsarehot]

bliss;

rating: lets say like teen idk. references to sex and drugs ( like actual ones that exist. i dont count bliss thats fake. but if people on bliss bothers you dont read this either ) but nothing super explicit 

pairing: summerseed ( john x tobias ) 

words: 1442 

summary: this was supposed 2 be the baptism fic and then it literally just was not i have no idea what happened. its still gay though. tons of yearning in this one if youre into that. if youre not what are you doing on my blog. this fic was supposed to be funny and that also didnt happen so much?? idk man but im vibing w it 

----------x----------

John finds Tobias right where he left him.

His eyes are dark, tiny rings of brilliant gold around pupils dilated to the size of dinner plates, his wet hair sticking to his face in platinum yellow disarray. The Bliss had sunk it's hooks into him- unsurprisingly, with how long John had left him in the water. Shame seeps into him, but it's not long before embarrassment takes it's place. Tobias is staring at him, now, enraptured- like a blind man seeing for the first time.  

It makes an uneven heat rise to his cheeks. Surely it's all in his head. A symptom of his desire, the same grasping desire that had led him to kiss him when this had all started, before he had run away like a coward. All at once he remembered the soft feeling of him, wet and warm and pressed against his body, the give of his mouth and the taste of water and purity on his tongue, the gentle touch of his fingertips running barely-there through his hair. It had felt like coming home. Like waking up. What had it felt like for Tobias? He didn't dare hope that-

"You look like an angel."

The words break John's concentration on his inner monologue and bring a fresh round of heat to his face, quiet on the night air in the painful way that only Tobias could be quiet. Like his voice itself was an apology for it's existence. And yet, there is no apology for these words. No second guessing, no shyness, no anxiety- only a drug-fueled certainty so potent that it almost tempts him to believe he means it.

There's nothing he wouldn't give for him to mean it. To be the angel that he deserves, instead of the flawed and broken man that he is.

He clears his throat, looking away with the vague hope that if he doesn't see Tobias staring at him, the tension- real or imagined- between them would dissipate. It's no use, though; he can still feel those slivers of captured sunlight burning into him like holy fire.

"Have you seen many angels, Tobias?" The question isn't as confident as he wants it to be. What is he afraid of? That the answer will be yes?

Tobias shakes his head, slowly from side to side, his eyes still riveted on John.

"I didn't think they existed. Not really. But now I do. Now I'm sure that they do. Because I'm-" He blinks in a long, slow motion, swaying on his feet with a shiver as the wind blows through the valley. The desire inside John- to covet, to cherish, to hold, flares up hotter than the gaze leaving vulnerable, aching holes in him. Tobias opens his mouth to resume his sentence, but stops, brows furrowing. "Because I'm..."

"Because you're what?" He's riveted on the candy coated, drug-induced words, on him, on the possibilities. Too riveted. Too involved. Too hopeful. He hates what he hopes for, because he can never have it. And he wants it more than he's ever wanted anything- more than he used to want his next hit, more than he wanted salvation, more than he wants to keep breathing.  

"I.....forgot what I was gonna say." The laugh that follows should be nervous, would usually be nervous, but is instead delighted. "Oops."

John laughs with him, if only for a moment. What else can he do but laugh? It sure beats giving into despair, into the feeling wrenching itself through his gut like a knife. What did he want him to say? No matter what he had said, it wouldn't change anything. The towel that he brought him hangs forgotten in his hand until he wraps it around the small mans shoulders, who pulls it around himself appreciatively and rubs the corner slowly against his cheek. "You must be cold. I'm......sorry."

Another shake of his head- blessedly, his eyes slip closed while he takes a deep inhale of the worn fabric.

"No. I feel... I'm so warm. It just smells like you. I like it. I like it a lot. You're all over me, like this."

John curses the way his heart skips a beat, and curses even more the next words that slip out of his mouth. "Come home with me."

And now those eyes are looking at him again, sparkling in the moonlight like he had plucked the stars from the sky itself- if it was possible, he would think his pupils had dilated further. Tobias tilts his head to the side, and strands of slowly drying, tangled blonde tilt with it. "Home? With you?"

He realizes what that invitation sounds like, at least to himself, and backtracks. "It's late, and you need to sleep this off. Change into some dry clothes."

Tobias looks down at his shirt, like he hadn't realized it was soaked and clinging to him indecently before John had pointed it out. He's lucky; John wishes he could stop noticing it, could stop thinking about leaning over and kissing him again or about stripping it off of him to see his expanse of pale skin glow damp and unhindered in the moonlight. "Okay....but only if I can keep the towel, too."

Again, John laughs.

----x----

The ride home was quiet, filled with staring and starlit skies and nothing but the chirp of crickets and the hymns on the radio to keep them company. Luckily, it was easy enough to convince him to give up his wet towel when John bribed him with one of his shirts. Tobias lays in his own bed, now, a button up trailing halfway down his thighs, pupils still wide even under the fluorescent lights. In another lifetime, they would both be under the influence. In another lifetime, he would pin him there, would leave marks on him, would corrupt this innocent thing with his own desire to fill his holes. In another lifetime, Tobias would be his.

But this is the only life he has, now- and it's one he should be grateful for. One he is grateful for.  

John covers him up delicately and turns to leave. And he would have left, too, were there not suddenly a hand tugging at his shirt, keeping him in place.

"Stay with me this time?"

John knows he should say no. He wants to say yes. It'd be selfish to say no; it'd be selfish to say yes. Was staying a gift for Tobias, or himself? No doubt he would regret falling asleep next to him when the morning came and the haze of Bliss fell like scales from his sunlit eyes. Would it be wrong, to enjoy being close to him in the time before that? He tried to think of what Joseph would do, if put in a similar situation, and all at once was sure he would say no. That he would pull out of the weak grasp on him, twist free from the bindings this man had slyly attached to his traitor heart, and spend the night on the couch regretting it.

It was the right thing to do.

But he is not Joseph, and he realizes in the next instant when he is already flipping off the light and sliding under the covers next to Tobias that he is not someone who does the right thing, either.

The younger man's body once more presses in against his own- if he's aware of the too-fast rhythm of his heart when he lays his head against his chest, he doesn't say anything. John can almost feel him smile when he wraps his arms around him like second nature- another product of his overactive imagination, he's sure.

"I remembered what I was going to say. Earlier. About the angels." It's muffled by his own chest, and growing smaller by the minute as sleep and relaxation easily take him.

"Maybe you should tell me in the morning." His heart squeezes painfully. Tobias' arm wraps around his waist, his fingers caressing his back in what felt to him like agonizing decadence. In the morning, he would pull away from him, as he should; Tobias, he can tell, is someone who does do the right thing. He would not think about the morning right now.

"I believe in angels...." He yawns, precious and small, and nuzzles his still damp hair against John's chest, mumbling the end of his sentence. It's almost incomprehensible, taken by sleep and drugs. But John chooses, for better or for worse, to believe what he only thought he had heard.

Just for tonight, he will say yes to this, too.  

"Because I'm in love with one."

[realkingjjofwonderland]

why won’t you love me? | jung hoseok

pairing: jung hoseok x male reader

word count: 2286

description: When he was younger, Hoseok’s biggest fear was contracting Hanahaki Disease. The fear faded through the years until he met (M/n) and fell deeply in love. (M/n) promise him that would never happen, but one day Hoseok coughs up a petal during practice.

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a/n: i listened to a lot of depressing songs while writing this one so it might be a bit melodramatic, i apologize for that lol. i hope you still enjoy though !! ^^ i’ve never written a hanahaki piece before either so i’m sorry if it’s not the best.

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Growing up, Hoseok always heard about Hanahaki disease in his science classes. It was considered a medical mystery as they weren’t quite sure how it happened, but enough research had been done to where they knew why it would happen. It seemed fairly simple with the way teachers explained it. When someone falls in love with someone else completely, they become likely to contract the disease. In the event that the person you love realizes they dont love you, or love someone else, then it doesn’t matter if you are aware of their feelings or not. The first petal will show a few days later. 

As the disease progresses there are two possibilities, either you will suffer for years or it will rapidly take over within a week. Scientists weren’t quite sure what caused the progression rate, but some believe it’s due to how deeply you’re in love.

For Hoseok who had a big heart, the disease petrified him. Especially when his girlfriend left him for another man, but the fact he didn’t contract it then told Hoseok that it had to be a very special kind of love. His fear of the disease lessened after that, allowing him to love more freely.

When (M/n) entered his life, that fear came back. As the months went by, Hoseok was certain the love he had begun to develop for (M/n) was different from anything he had felt before. It was almost intoxicating and it left Hoseok both terrified and elated all at once. One night he decided to open up to (M/n) about his fears, (M/n) immediately reassuring Hoseok that it would never happen. (M/n) was certain he’d love Hoseok for the rest of his life.

It wasn’t long after that that Hoseok was called into Bang PD’s office and was presented with a photo of him and (M/n) looking far too close to be just friends. Hoseok was informed that the company had paid off the paparazzi, but Bang PD wanted Hoseok to be more aware of himself in public so something like this wouldn’t happen again. He was given the greenlight to continue his relationship and things couldn’t have been better, until (M/n) called him and told Hoseok that his agency, JYP, would be giving them a different story to go with. 

Pictures of (M/n) and Nayeon were circling the internet within the next week.

Hoseok, admittedly, felt bitter about the fact that everyone thought his boyfriend was dating someone else. (M/n) constantly tried to make him feel better, but then another article would come out about the two and Hoseok would find that bitterness stirring up again. Things calmed down within a month or so, and Hoseok felt everything was alright between him and (M/n).

At least, everything seemed alright until that first petal came.

Hoseok had been in the middle of teaching the new routine to the rest of his members when a coughing fit overtook him. He tried to reassure everyone that he was fine, but they all saw that bright yellow petal in his hand as he pulled it away. “Hoseok, is that-” Jin had begun to ask but Hoseok was already rushing out of the room.

Yoongi and Namjoon had constantly tried to get Hoseok to leave his room that night, but he refused. Hoseok suffered through a few more coughing fits, more and more petals coming up each time, and he couldn’t help but cry after every one. He knew what this meant, and he knew what he had to do, but there was part of him that wanted to believe it was a mistake. (M/n) promised him he’d never fall out of love, right?

Once he was sure the rest of his members had left for the day, Hoseok finally left his room to dispose of all the sunflower petals. His trash can was filled, and Hoseok even had to grab a full sized trash bag to dispose of the rest. From his knowledge school had taught him, he didn���t have long to sort it out. Hanahaki surgeries weren’t unheard of, but the dangers that came with them made Hoseok debate whether it would be worth it. Best case scenario, he wouldn’t love (M/n) at all anymore. Mild? He wouldn’t remember (M/n) at all. Worst case? He wouldn’t love ever again. 

That thought alone sent Hoseok out the door, heading straight to the JYP building. 

(M/n) seemed surprised when Hoseok entered the practice room he’d been in, a smile slipping onto his lips. It made Hoseok’s lung burn even more. “Hobi! What are you doing here?” (M/n) smiled as he walked over to hug Hoseok, but Hoseok’s hand was pressed against his chest to keep him away. “Hoseok? What’s wrong?”

“Do you still love me?” Hoseok blurted out, his mind too frazzled to even try to ease into it. At this point he knew it was trivial to even ask, but he wanted to hear (M/n) admit it.

“Hoseok-”

“Just-” Hoseok’s voice broke a bit as his hand dropped to his side. “Just be honest with me.”

“I… I don’t think so…” (M/n) looked ashamed as his eyes flitted to the ground.

“How long have you known?” Hoseok cleared his throat, wrapping his arms around himself. His chest was starting to really burn, but he still had more questions.

“I realized it about a week ago… Hob- Hoseok, I didn’t know how to tell you. I know I should have, but I just… I didn’t wanna hurt you…” (M/n)’s broke at ‘hurt’, and while Hoseok wanted to make that sad look leave (M/n)’s face, his own hurt was becoming far too much.

“Yeah, well, it’s a little too late for that.” Hoseok laughed weakly, turning away slightly from (M/n). “Is it because of her?”

“Do you want me to be honest?” (M/n) choked out, looking up to see Hoseok nod slightly. “I don’t know. I just woke up and things felt… different.”

“I should go-” Hoseok turned around to leave, but the burning in his chest became too much and another coughing fit overtook him. This one brought him to the floor, (M/n) rushing to catch him.

The only way to describe what Hoseok felt as bunches of bloodied petals escaped him was as if he was being suffocated from the inside. (M/n) had a horrified look on his face when the petals overflowed from Hoseok’s hands, screaming out for help from whoever was close enough to hear him. “Hobi? Hobi listen to me, it’s gonna be okay. Alright? It- it’s gonna be okay.” Hoseok could tell (M/n) was crying, but his voice sounded so far away. The last thing Hoseok saw before blackness overtook his vision was (M/n)’s panicked expression.

“This is all your fault, why are you even here?!”

“Jimin, please, calm down-”

“No, I agree. He should go.”

“Yoongi, not helping!”

Hoseok’s eyes fluttered open only to be blinded by the bright lights of his hospital room. Once he was able to focus better, he saw Jimin being held back by Taehyung and Jungkook while Jin seemed to be trying to talk some sense into him. Namjoon was sat in a chair by Hoseok’s bed with his head in his hands and Yoongi was sat next to him, rubbing circles on Namjoon’s back. By the doorway was (M/n), who looked absolutely devastated and scared. “I-I… I’m-”

“What’s going on?” Hoseok piped up, knowing that no matter what (M/n) was going to say it would do nothing to calm down Jimin. He always did have the worst temper out of the seven of them.

“Hobi!” Jin shouted, rushing over just as Namjoon’s head shot up.

“Thank God you’re awake.” Namjoon sighed out, looking like a huge weight was lifted off of his shoulders. The rest of Hoseok’s members swarmed him, all wanting to make sure Hoseok was okay but through them he could see (M/n) still standing by the doorway. He reminded Hoseok of a lost puppy.

“While I really do appreciate the concern, could (M/n) and I have a moment alone?” Hoseok asked, his voice still a bit weak. All of his members looked a bit uneasy at the thought, but when Hoseok added a “Please?”, they couldn’t deny him.

The air in the room once Hoseok’s friends had left was more than awkward. (M/n) still lingered by the door, fidgeting around as if he was scared to be too close to Hoseok. “I’m surprised you stayed, especially with Jimin looking that angry.” Hoseok laughed a bit in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “I’m sorry if he was being too mean.”

“No, it’s fine. I understand why.” (M/n) took a step closer to the bed, his eyes searching Hoseok’s face for any sign that it would make him worse. “I um, I just wanted to stay to make sure you were alright.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Hoseok mumbled, eyes drifting to his hands.

“I wanted to.” It was just three simple words, but they gave Hoseok a bit of hope. Hope that he certainly didn’t want to hold onto. “I… Even if I don’t love you in the same way as before, I still care about you immensely Hobi.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, (M/n).” Hoseok whispered, twiddling his thumbs. “I’d actually prefer if you didn’t.”

“Sorry.”

Things went awkward again after that, an uncomfortable silence spreading like an illness throughout the room. It felt almost as suffocating as the petals to Hoseok. “I should go.” (M/n) broke the silence with another three simple words, this time giving Hoseok nothing but heart ache.

“I think that’s for the best.” Hoseok didn’t want to hurt (M/n), he really didn’t, but his chest was beginning to burn again and the image of (M/n)’s face when the last one came was something he never wanted to see first hand ever again.

“I… I’ll see you around, Hoseok.”

Hoseok wasn’t sure when exactly his tears began to fall, but he was only made aware of them when Jin came back into the room and began wiping them away. “We’re gonna get this sorted out together, alright? We aren’t gonna let you go through this alone.” Jin reassured Hoseok as the others filtered into the room, but those kind words couldn’t stop the voice in Hoseok’s head from whispering his greatest fear. 

If I choose to get the surgery, what if I lose all capability to love?

It was a blessing in disguise that Hoseok wasn’t allowed to choose whether to get the surgery or not. He had been heavily leaning toward not getting it and hoping he had longer than they all thought, but when the coughing fits started happening much more frequently Bang PD was able to override his wishes. Hoseok was deemed unable to coherently make decisions mainly because if he tried to speak, a coughing fit would occur.

When Hoseok woke up from the surgery, the first thing he felt was relief. When he looked around at his friend’s faces, he still felt the same way about them as before. Hoseok wasn’t quite sure why he felt so relieved to still love his friends, but he wasn’t going to question it. He was just glad to be surrounded by such amazing people.

About a week later, Jimin knocked on his door with a very annoyed expression on his face. “What’s wrong, Chim?” Hoseok asked, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“You have a visitor, he’s in the living room.” Jimin seemed very unhappy about this person being in their dorm, leaving Hoseok confused as Jimin walked to his room. He knew Jimin had a temper, but it seemed strange to him that Jimin would be so upset with someone Hoseok knew. Wanting to get to the bottom of this situation, Hoseok walked a bit faster than normal to the living room.

Hoseok’s confusion only grew as he entered the room to see a stranger sitting on the couch. Hoseok could see the strangers' nerves spike when he looked over at Hoseok, immediately wondering if a fan managed to sneak by their security somehow. But then his mind went to the fact that Jimin seemed to know him enough to be annoyed with this person, so it couldn’t be a fan. “Hey, Hobi, how uh… how are you feeling?”

“I feel fine… I’m sorry, this might seem rude but do we know each other? Jimin said you were here for me but I don’t recognize you.” The stranger’s face fell then, looking absolutely crushed by Hoseok’s words.

“I... My name is (M/n). I’m… we worked on a project together a few years back, you probably just forgot.” (M/n) attempted a laugh, but Hoseok could tell there was something off about it. “I heard you had surgery and I wanted to stop by and see how you were doing.”

“Oh, well I’m doing alright.” Hoseok put on a polite smile, feeling weird about the whole encounter. He knew he was missing something, but the more he tried to think about it his chest began to burn. 

“Sorry for interrupting your day, I’ll be on my way.” (M/n) practically ran to the door, leaving Hoseok even more confused than when he first saw him.

“What a weird kid.” Hoseok chuckled, chalking it all up to just a strange encounter as he walked back to his room, laying down to rest some more.

[startwithbrooklyn]

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 10, 2019 // the seancé

watched this while drinking and working my second job after my full time job (hence the drinking) when my supe called to tell me i didnt do enough work for them and could i start doing more because being tired after working an 8 hour day was just. unacceptable. (while i'm drinking during this ENTIRE call) anyway 🍸 i use nance/nancy interchangeably like luce/lucy

-"denial: smalltown USA's favorite pastime" 👌🏻👀

-the begrudging kiss + george w the coffee = lmfaooooooo awkss nance

-wonder who this FBI agent friend of owen's is since they never get to meet 😕

-"we just opened!" / "work ethic" how nancy views the claw/work is manifested in her constant lateness and skipping out. like she says "i never thought i'd be wearing this" its clear she has some of that upper middle class/white suburban bias against restaurant working that only becomes okay in the pretext of saving up for college. this is made ironic by ryan who jokes in s2 about having no money and working at a coffee shop, sharing nancy's opinion. also ironic is how a group of her coworkers "not my friends" at this same place she puts little appreciation into turn out to be her biggest support group

-carson & family dinners: seeing john sanders' texts w nancy and trying to keep up with what shes doing / makes you wonder how ryan would approach as a dad. judging by s2 he's less subtle than carson but possibly more effective for it (i have so many nancy&ryanthoughts but i'll wait till the reveal ep)

-steaks lmaooooooo what a white suburban dad thing to say

-"we are on the same side" / "why does it feel like we're on different teams" : laura/ace and nancy/nick mirrors (almost like some kinda men vs women showdown but these women do NOT trust these men...)

-why is the precinct "the least haunted building in horseshoe bay"? does lucy not haunt the police bc she knew karen was trying to get revenge/"justice" for her? or bc she doesnt want to haunt karen at all? and what of other ghosts? a police station seems like prime ghost material for officers of unsolved cases. is it chief mcginnis with his link to the supernatural keeping everything under control? if so, what happens when he leaves and tamura shows up? (based on the dress ep i cant remember if hes woke to the supernatural or not)

-"you would need an object lucy touched the night she died" nancy like -->😌it me

-okay. anybody who hugged lucy would HAVE to know she was pregnant?? like wtf

-LAURAAAA lmfaoooo

-UNPOPULAR OPINION: laura/nick - hatefuck - hes strong enough to top her with words AND hands - bringing out something tougher created by prison (like it rough/lose control) nick is presented to be so kind and almost always on top of his emotions but laura is def a canvas that can take a few hits. i can definitely see her being attracted to how much he doesnt really like her and wants to stop her from always getting her way. her pretentious ass motormouth is practically begging you to grab her by the arms and shake her to shut her up (and she would be begging you to shut her up too)(ik s2 nick/race talks/his mom ep would never ever do this to anyone but its a choice "what if" to me)

-this casting for teen candace to adult is on point

-so two days after lucy's death they pay him 50 grand from a shell company? he says it's for services rendered but then for what services? does everett know or suspect that the drews took lucys baby and pay them for taking care of an impertinence, including lucy, not really caring what really happened to her as long as shes no longer a threat to him? honestly could see a cover up. nance only does the reveal in her balmain tazer glory and we dont really get an honest reaction out of him iirc (the new actor they switched to shows wayyyyy less emotion than s1 guy) and he could easily fake surprise. obvs celia doesnt know bc s2 but whos surprised at that. i wonder what tipped her off that nancy could be ryans baby and prompted her to test. hmm. and payroll vs shell account. why would it have been paid differently. sus. 🤔🤔

-the irony of nancy picking at nick's story at the inn for karens deal + nancy straight up ignoring nicks proof w this transfer... like ep 1 "i'll tell you about my past if you tell me about yours" except...no, actually. "i'm just trying to solve this / it feels more like you're trying to solve me" its so true. and nancy really badgered nick into telling about his conviction but it was kinda payback for showing up at the claw and making her admit their "relationship" -like when george says "you need to be just as relentless", it was equal but nasty. like. nick never asked george for details about ryan that way. he even admits he doesnt wanna push her to ace after learning what not to do with nancy.

-this seance has nick so irritated w nancy lmfaooooo

-"half sister" so josh and patrices' last name is dodd- his grandpa must be a dodd also for the name of the shop. wonder why lucy's last name is sable, and where her dad is, and where josh's dad is as well- there's no mention of dads or stepdads anywhere for these two

-mcginnis knows theyre innocent / "work together" he knows they arent really suspects but he just wants to fuck with nancy. could be playful or just nancy's naivete. maybe he actually kinda missed her fucking around in his work and is trying to make up for the lost time when she withdrew from mysteries d/t her depression after kate

-nancy + knowing everybody else's secrets - nick's conviction, bess's family, george's affair, ace's deal w mcginnis and confronts them all in turn like nick and the secret phone, george from the meeting in the woods, bess from the passport/ring and acs's phone calls (they all somehow end up knowing all each other's secrets after a bit anyway)

-fuckin love Ted 😌🙏🏻💙

-when lucy grabs nancys hand i was just like "MOM!"

-if nancy had asked lucy if carson did it, she would have been spared the trial 👀🙃

-"even if you did, nothing was gonna stop you" true truuuuueeeee like. nick needs to be needed. nancy doesnt need him starting in episode 1. nick thinks that sex = relationship but nancy never saw it that way until she realized thats what nick wanted her to admit. "i wanna be with you / im trying" she is literally forcing herself to try and date him normally when thats honestly never what she wanted. and its nicks own fault here bc she never even wanted to be "official" but he forced that out of her too in front of coworkers no less. he set himself up to be disappointed

and lastly

-so carson stole the evidence, but what did he do with it? burn it like the dress?

[thebeautyoffandoms]

hello ! i was hoping to get a matchup for mystic messenger and (optional) haikyuu.

my pronouns are she/her but i am fine with whatever pronouns. i am a straight asexual. some good things about myself is that i’m usually quiet, i think i’m pretty open-minded, and i think i have a good sense of humor. often times i can be very mean and egotistical, i’m lazy and very unmotivated, and i dont think i care about important things as much as i should. i am an istp. i think i’d probably be a slytherin. i really like candy, and listening to music. on the contrary i dislike anything green apple flavored or grape flavored, and i rreally dislike kids. i dont really have any opinions on thinggs i do/dont look for in a partner, just as long as they give me some attention. i enjoy watching movies/animes/shows and playing video games. i dont have an exact genre, but i like listening to alt(?) and pop.

Hello!! Thank you so much for requesting, and I really hope you like it! (And i’m so sorry that it took so long!!!)

For Mystic Messenger, I feel like Jumin Han is a good match for you!!

(I’m sorry I really like that gif aornfonarf-)

First of all, Jumin appreciates your being more on the quiet side. The man’s not a loud person himself, and prefers to be around people similar to him, so that fact about you doesn’t take long to take a jab at his interest. While he’s stubborn, and takes a bit to warm up to others, he isn’t displeased when he finds himself growing fond of you. In fact, after having it pointed out by some of the RFA, Jumin realizes that it’s quite the opposite. He’s glad? The Jumin Han, glad to make a friend…? Despite the teasing from the others in the RFA, it’s true. It’s good that you’re open-minded, because Jumin can be rather unfaltering in what he believes. He wouldn’t pester you to think the same thing as him, but it’s entirely possible that he brings up his thoughts as if they’re fact more often than not. Now, Jumin never minded if you were mean. He himself can be blunt and rude at times, and his emotions aren’t sensitive. He’s coolheaded, and typically can shrug any mean comments or actions off. While he may not get along with many egotistical people (our fine example being Zen) he will find a way to get used to you. While he may not be the world’s greatest hypeman, he will try to boost your ego in, typically, subtle ways. He enjoys complimenting you, buying you things, and trying to make you feel like the loveliest girl in the world, and won’t mind if you don’t argue with it. He lucked out with someone who has a good sense of humor, because he makes jokes somewhat often, but they’re never, you know… funny-. Laugh at his jokes, or at least react positively, and he will feel a bit proud of himself. Well, he’d feel proud of his joke no matter what, but making you smile is one of the greatest achievements in his book. Jumin isn’t a lazy person, but I don’t think he’ll particularly care if you are. Want to stay home all day? Don’t want to work? Yeah, ok, you’re covered. Food will be prepared for you no matter what, Driver Kim can take you wherever, and he’s got people who can do all the shopping, cleaning, and such. Unless you feel motivated to do those things, he’s got you entirely covered. While Jumin will have things covered for you, he’s not going to let you get past with every little thing. Not to say he wouldn’t like to, he just wants to make sure you stay healthy and happy. He reminds you of the important things you may forget, and will make sure that you get them done, even if it means he should help you. In fact, he’s more than willing to help you. I’m pretty sure Jumin says that he works out as he should, and so he’ll convince you to tag along with him. Not only does it make him feel a bit more motivated, but it lets him have the reassurance that you’re being taken care of as well. I’m not sure if it’s ever said, but I personally headcanon Jumin as someone who doesn’t have an opinion on kids. He isn’t particularly fond of them, wouldn’t mind having one should his s/o want one, but is completely fine without them should his s/o not want one. Jumin is perfectly content having cats instead of kids, and can only hope you feel the same, because… I don’t think this man could survive without his Elizabeth the Third. Also, though he is busy, and works a lot, he still makes sure to spend time with you. He tries not to stay at work too late so that the two of you can eat dinner together, and, on the weekends, expect to be taken to fancy restaurants. He also really enjoys taking you shopping. This man just loves spoiling you <3

 For Haikyuu, I feel like Tsukishima Kei is a good match for you!

To be honest, after getting to know you, you can be like a breath of fresh air for Tsukki. He’s surrounded by loud, energetic people for a lot of the day, so he enjoys your company. The two of you probably ended up being friends, eventually more, because of a group project or something, and he just… never removed your number from his contacts list. If you like volleyball, he probably used seeing you at a game as an excuse to keep contacting you. As implied by Tsukki getting annoyed by the loud, energetic people, he really likes that you’re quieter. While he’s not too noisy himself, if the both of you are feeling quiet, he’ll turn on a playlist the two of you share and the both of you can do your own things. Times like those are more relaxing than Tsukki would ever admit, but he secretly hopes that you think the same. Should it be you, him, and Yamaguchi, it’s probably more likely that there’s conversation going on, but Tsukishima still enjoys having your playlist going in the background. Mean and egotistical are both words commonly used to describe Tsukishima himself. Though he’s arrogant on the outside, he’s still self-conscious. However, he doesn’t always mind your big ego. Sure, he’ll tease you for it, but you won’t catch him actually trying to lower your ego. Plus, he likes when you’re mean. I see Tsukishima as the type to enjoy playful banter, and he also enjoys being able to trash others with you. If you use an especially creative and/or pointed insult to someone who deserves it, his smirk will definitely grow and he’ll probably glance at you proudly. The biggest thing Tsukishima would have to get used to in the relationship is laziness. While I can see him getting used to it, as he isn’t as energetic or motivated as a lot of his teammates, it takes him a bit longer to. He also grows to learn to remind you of important things. Expect him to tease, and occasionally nag, about that. He won’t take it too far though, and finds himself setting reminders on both of your phones to ensure that you don’t forget things that are too important. Should you need his help with something like that, he’ll pretend to be annoyed, but will help you nonetheless. Tsukishima is kind of relieved when he finds out that you don’t like kids. While he doesn’t want to rush the relationship and would avoid talks of kids or marriage so that he didn’t make you feel uncomfortable, or make the two of you feel like you should rush things, he’s never been fond of children. He has to deal with the childishness of his teammates enough to know that he couldn’t handle an actual child. Also, while he tries to do so discreetly and without actually saying it’s a date, he really enjoys spending time with you. Even if it’s just listening to music and sitting around, or going to the theatres (or heck, even just the others’ house) to watch a movie, he’s pretty content having you in his life. Though, of course, it’ll take him forever to actually admit that <3

[lostinthewiind]

A prompt for Speirs or Lipton! Reader has found a quiet, peaceful spot in the countryside near Aldbourne where they escape from the boisterous 506 PIR. However they dont know that someone else has also discovered that spot, and they get interrupted whilst they are sunbathing in their underwear! Xx

I choose . . . drumroll please . . . LIPTON! I changed the plot slightly to take place in Austria after the war. I just think there might be better weather there for sunbathing, no offence to England  *cough* *cough* 

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Our Own Little Slice of Heaven 

It was a beautiful day; one you could actually take the time to appreciate. Sure, there had been many a day during the war where you had woken up and the sun had been shining and the sky had been a glorious shade of light blue, but the sound of artillery and screams for a medic that soon followed usually soured any and everything that was once worth cherishing. 

Now that the war was over, however, there was much more time in the day to stop and savour the little things, such as a blue sky or a shimmering lake, and that was exactly what you planned on doing. 

Most of the men had taken it upon themselves to spend as much time in the lake as possible, and although you weren’t necessarily shy around the men you considered family by now, you still weren’t keen on the idea of stripping down in front of all of them. Luckily for you, while on a walk through the woods one day, you came across a small, secluded lake nestled among the trees that no one else knew about.

Now, every morning, you visited the lake, took a swim, and laid in the sun for a while with a good book. Some days you spent hours on end there, enjoying the beauty of the little slice of heaven you had discovered and the time you got to spend alone; just you and your thoughts.

With a towel in one hand and a book in the other, you made your way down the narrow path toward the lake, ready to start your day the same way you had the day before and the day before that.

Setting your belongings down beside a large tree trunk, you unzipped your jacket and stepped out of your boots and pants before making your way toward the sirene lake. Despite the fact that the still, blue water looked so very inviting when it sparkled in the sunlight, you knew it was deceivingly cold, so without hesitation, you wasted no time in taking the plunge and leapt off of a rock into the water.

Your body tensed as soon as you touched the water, but seconds later, you felt more awake than any cup of coffee could ever make you feel and let out a refreshed sigh. 

You didn’t stay in the water long—just long enough to wake up give your body and hair a quick rinse. About five minutes later, you climbed out of the lake and scurried back over to your belongings, wrapping yourself up in your towel to dry off.

Then you laid the towel down on the grass and sat down, and with your back against the tree trunk, you picked up your book and flipped to the last page you had left off at. In your bra and underwear, you lounged in the sun and air-dried, letting your thoughts fade away as you got lost in your book.

Not long after you started reading, however, you heard a branch snap somewhere close by and looked up, expecting to see an animal or something but instead seeing a man. 

Staring out over the lake, Carwood Lipton was taking in the breathtaking scenery, completely oblivious to the fact that you were sitting five meters away. You waited for him to notice you, but when he didn’t, you decided to speak up. “It’s really pretty, isn’t it?” you asked, catching him off guard and causing him to jump a little.

“Oh, Y/N.” Lipton turned toward you, his eyes widening when he realized you were more exposed than he had ever seen you before. “I’m sorry.” he apologized as he turned his back to you, his cheeks flushing with heat. “I didn’t think anybody else knew about this place.”

“That’s exactly what I thought, too,” you said. “Hence the reason I’m not exactly decent.”

Lipton let out a nervous chuckle. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that, too.”

“Don’t be.” you placed your bookmark back into your book and set it aside. “I’m sure it’s nothing you haven’t seen before . . . you know, a woman’s body, I mean . . . not my body in particular.”

“I should probably just go.”

“No, don’t go.” you felt bad about being the reason Lipton didn’t get to enjoy a place that he obviously adored just as much, if not more than you did. “Come, sit. I’ll put some clothes back on.”

Slowly, Lipton turned back around as you slipped your jacket on to cover your bra. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” you crossed your legs, not bothering to put your pants back on since you were pretty sure Lipton was grown-up enough to handle a little bit of thigh. “It’s too nice out today to not sit by the lake for a while. Come and sit with me.”

Hesitantly, Lipton walked over and sat down beside you. “I usually come here first thing in the morning when the sun is just peeking over the horizon,” he said. “I’ve never really taken the time to stop and appreciate a sunrise before. I’m glad I have now.”

“That sounds amazing.” you smiled. 

“You should come watch the sunrise with me tomorrow morning,” Lipton suggested. “If you think this place is beautiful now, just wait until you see it when the world’s first waking up. The birds are singing, the crickets are chirping. It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of witnessing.”

You laughed softly, a smile spreading across your face. “I never knew you were such a softie, Lip.”

“Really?”

“No, I lied,” you admitted. “What with being the company’s den mother and all, I sort of suspected it. But singing birds and chirping crickets is a new level, even for you.”

“What? A man isn’t allowed to enjoy the beauty the world has to offer without being some kind of sad sap?”

You chuckled. “I never said ‘sad sap’, I said ‘softie’. There’s a difference,” you told him. “It’s a good thing. Women like a man who isn’t afraid to drop that harsh, brooding demeanour every once in a while.”

Lipton nodded, the corners of his lips curling up ever-so-slightly. “And what about you?”

“What about me?” you questioned, confused.

“Do you like a man who isn’t afraid to drop that harsh, brooding demeanour every once in a while?”

You thought for a moment or two before answering, the warm morning breeze brushing your damp hair over your shoulders. “I suppose so. I haven’t really put much thought into it, to be honest.”

“That’s okay. I sort of caught you off guard with that question, anyway.”

“No, it’s not that,” you assured him. “It’s just been a long while since I’ve really paid any mind to the qualities I look for in a man. It’s been a long while since I’ve paid any mind to anything besides staying alive.”

“I know how you feel.” Lipton nodded in agreement. “It’s gonna be weird returning to normal life. I’m not sure how I’ll function . . . I wish I could just stay here forever.”

Tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, you exhaled. “I like that idea.”

“We can stay here together.” Lipton lifted his face to the sun and closed his eyes. “We can just sit here in the sun and look out over that lake for the rest of our lives.”

You giggled. “I think we might get hungry after a while.”

Lipton opened one eye and looked back at you. “ . . . or at least until the sun starts to set and it gets cold.”

“That sound’s more realistic.” you took Lipton’s hand in yours and interlocked your fingers with his. “We can come back in the morning and watch the sun rise again.”

“Most definitely.”

“Hey, Lip?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve had a chance to think about it. I do like a man who isn’t afraid to drop that harsh, brooding demeanour every once in a while.”

Lipton opened both eyes this time. “’A man’?” he repeated.

“Yeah.” you smiled. “I’ve got someone specific in mind.”