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screamin-abt-haikyuu · 3 years

Text

You're jealous but you can't do anything because you're not dating him - Part 2

Pairings: Kuroo x Fem! Reader | Iwaizumi x Fem! Reader

Genre: Angst to Fluff

Request: Hi Lovely! I just read your wonderful work "You're jealous but you can't do anything because you're not dating him and it was just amazing :) Can I request Kuroo and Iwaizumi (if you feel comfortable with them of course!) for the prompt? BTW I love all the Asahi content, I feel like he is so underrated in the fandom!

Requested by: @captain-janeway

A/N: Again, these were supposed to be shorter but, I reiterate, I have no control over myself. Also, please these are making me FEEL things. I spent three entire days writing this and I really hope you enjoy! 🥺

Kuroo Tetsurou

Kuroo Tetsurou is a lot of things. If you asked people, they would call him an athlete, a nerd, a tease, a merciless captain (*cough* Lev *cough*) a smartass and a smug bastard who loves riling others up. It's true, Kuroo Tetsurou is all of these things. But to you, he is so much more.

He is the one you go to whenever you are feeling down. He is the one who teases you to death all the time. He is your 3AM buddy, and the one you can count on to be at your side no matter what. He is the one who always makes sure you are fine and takes care of you without you asking him to. He is so much more than what he shows to the world. He is caring and thoughtful and never fails to bring a smile to your face. To you, Kuroo Tetsurou is your best friend.

He is also the one you're hopelessly pining for.

It doesn't help that he teases and flirts with you playfully all the time and it makes your heart want to jump out of your chest. You cannot figure out if this is just his nature or if he actually likes you back.

You always go to his games to cheer him on and today was no different except for the fact that a lot more people from your batch were here to cheer for Nekoma, seeing that it was the Nationals. You are sitting in your seat, happily watching the boys line up on the court when someone speaks up behind you.

"Isn't that Kuroo-san? He's hot, isn't he?"

You slowly turn around to see who said that and, to your dismay, it was Sato Hitomi, one of the prettiest girls in your batch. You have always marvelled at the way she carries herself so gracefully. It irks you that she just called Kuroo hot. You turn back around to focus on the game.

You want to pay attention to what's happening in the game. You really do. But it is impossible with Hitomi sitting so near you and talking so excitedly about Kuroo to her friend.

"Wow, I never knew he was such a talented blocker."

"His hairstyle is so unique! It makes him look 10 times more handsome."

"Look at those muscles! Damn!"

"That back attack was so cool!"

"Look at him motivating his teammates. He is such a good captain"

"Woah, he looked so hot doing that."

Every word of praise she speaks pierces your heart like a dagger.

"They won!!" she says and stands up, clapping and cheering. You forget about her for a moment as you stand up to cheer and clap too. From the court, Kuroo gives a big smile and a thumbs-up in your direction. You thought it was for you but Hitomi also gives him a thumbs-up back so you're not sure now.

"Do you think I should ask him out on a date? Do you think he will say yes?" Hitomi asks her friend and your breath catches in your throat.

"Of course he will say yes. I mean, he would be stupid to say no to you," her friend encourages her.

The giant lump in your throat is making it hard to swallow. Every trace of excitement you felt for a moment has vanished.

She is right, of course. Sato Hitomi is one of the nicest and prettiest girls in Nekoma. Very few boys would ever say no to a girl like her. Kuroo really would be stupid if he said no to her. In fact, you're sure Taketora would actually murder him if he ever rejected a girl like her.

It is taking all you have to not run out of the stadium right then. No, you're Kuroo's best friend first and you came here to support him. If you leave without saying anything, he would worry and that is the last thing he needs in the midst of Nationals. No, you're going to pretend everything is okay and you won't leave without congratulating him first.

You make your way to the locker rooms where you know the boys would have finished changing by now. Kuroo is standing right outside the room, hand on his hip. He sees you approaching and the corner of his mouth twitches upwards into his usual smirk.

Pretending to be fine is going to be harder than you thought.

You smile at him as brightly as you can, hoping it will cover up what you're actually feeling.

"Heeeey! I told you you would do it!" you say, a little too animatedly, raising your hand to give him a high five.

"Yeah, it was tough going for a while but we-"

"KUROO-SAN!"

You both turn to see Hitomi running towards you, waving and smiling widely.

"Ah, Sato-san!" he smiles and waves at her.

She runs up to Kuroo and grabs both his hands with hers.

At this moment, Taketora is coming out of the locker room and, as he watches the whole scene unfold, you can swear you see a vein burst in his head.

"Kuroo-san you were so great oh my god! You-" she continues with a string of high praises for him.

Kuroo has completely forgotten that you're standing right next to him as he listens to this sudden and unexpected rain of compliments. His hands are still in hers and you can see a blush is starting to creep up his cheeks.

You suddenly realize that your cheeks are wet. You don't even know when the tears started falling from your eyes. Thankfully, Kuroo has not looked at you at all since Hitomi started speaking so he hasn't noticed. You use his distractedness to your advantage to quietly slip away. Once you are out of earshot, you run outside to hail a cab, desperate to get as far away from this place as you can.

As you're getting in the cab, you hear someone shout your name from behind. You can't be sure but it sounds like Kuroo. However, you're in no state to face anyone right now so you dive into the cab and ask the driver to drive off quickly.

2 minutes later your phone starts ringing and you check to see that Kuroo is calling you. If you pick up right now, he will know instantly that you're crying. He will probably worry anyway if you don't pick up but this way you can make up any excuse later. You set your phone to silent and throw it in your bag.

You spend the entire ride home crying quietly in the back of your cab.

Once you are home, you throw your bag on your bed and head straight to the shower. You take a long shower and feel a lot better once you are done.

After changing into something comfortable, you plop onto your bed and take out your phone.

You are surprised to see there are 17 missed calls. 14 from Kuroo, 2 from Tora and 1 from Kenma.

You open your messages and see that Tora and Kuroo have texted you.

Tora @ 4:08PM: Y/N-san please pick up the call. Kuroo-san is freaking out.

Kuroo @ 2:30PM: Y/N, why did you leave without saying anything??

Kuroo @ 2:30PM: Why did Tora just tell me you were crying? Were you crying????

Kuroo @ 2:43PM: Why won't you pick up???

Kuroo @ 2:57PM: Please talk to me.

Kuroo @ 3:26PM: Look, I would come to your house right now if I didn't have to talk strategy for tomorrow's match with my team. Can you please at least let me know you're okay?

You groan. You had completely forgotten that Tora was around. You're going to have to come up with a really good explanation for this. As you're about to type your response, your phone dings again.

Kuroo @ 4:16PM: After all this time if you still think...

You frown. What's that supposed to mean?

You decide to ignore it for now.

You: Hey. I'm so sorry, my phone was on silent and I didn't see your messages till now.

You: Please don't worry about me, I was crying because I had a fight with my mom. That's why I rushed home. And I'm okay now, we resolved it.

Kuroo: So, you're going to straight up lie to me now?

You: But I'm not??

You hear the bell ring downstairs. A minute later, your father shouts for you, "Y/N! Kuroo is here. I'm sending him upstairs."

He's here?!?!

You barely have time to absorb that information when you hear a knock on your door.

"Come in."

The door opens and Kuroo steps in. He closes the door behind him and turns to you, arms crossed and an annoyed expression on his face.

"Tetsu, what are you doing here? You have a match tomorrow! You should be with your team!"

"You leave without saying goodbye, I find out that you were crying when you left and you won't pick your phone or reply to my messages. What else do you expect me to do?"

You hang your head in shame. You're feeling so guilty now for not responding to him immediately.

"I- I'm so sorry, Tetsu. Really. The reason I didn't pick up was because I didn't want you to find out I was crying. I didn't want to worry you. I just put my phone on silent and threw it in my bag. I didn't see any of the calls or messages until now."

"Are you going to tell me why you were crying?"

"I already did!"

"I called your mom when you weren't picking up and she told me that she hadn't seen or spoken to you since morning. So, are you going to stick to this made up story of yours?"

He's caught you right in the middle of your lie. There's no way out of this. You don't say anything. You just play with your hands in your lap, not daring to meet him in the eye.

Kuroo comes and sits next to you on your bed.

"How long have we known each other, Y/N?"

His question surprises you. You look up at him and see his expression has softened. He's looking at you seriously but he isn't annoyed anymore.

"Six years...why?"

"So, after six years of knowing me, if you still think that I have eyes for anyone but you, then you don't know me at all."

Your eyes are open so wide that they might pop out of their sockets any second now. You try to respond but you just make random noises instead of forming coherent sentences.

"What- I- you knew?? you too??? you like me?? I too- I mean! Me too- I-"

Kuroo throws his head back and laughs. He reaches over and pulls you in for a tight hug. Your heart feels like it might explode in your chest.

He gently kisses the top of your forehead and then leans down to rest his own against it, smiling widely.

"I too, Y/N. I too."

Iwaizumi Hajime

You don't remember how many times you must have internally thanked Oikawa for being Iwaizumi Hajime's best friend. His conventionally pretty face attracts almost all the girls towards him, letting you have Iwaizumi all to yourself.

Well, sort of. He is still just your close friend. You haven't been able to gather the courage to confess to him yet. And only the Gods above know if he feels the same way about you because he certainly has never done or said anything to you that shows that he has feelings for you too.

You're sure that if you do confess and he doesn't feel the same way, it wouldn't affect your friendship at all. If anything, he would become even more considerate of your emotions and do anything to make sure you are all right. But you didn't think you were ready to handle the heartbreak of being rejected by him. Until now.

For almost a whole year, you have skirted around your feelings for him. It is your final year of High School now and you have decided that it is now or never. If you don't confess now, you might regret it for the rest of your life.

You make your way to the Seijoh gym where you know the boys must be getting ready for practice. You are greeted with loud gasps and a chorus of "heyys" and "Hi Y/Ns!" as soon as you step into the gym. You shout and wave back cheerfully as you make your way to your friends. As usual, your eyes find Iwa and your heart does a somersault as he smiles softly at you, his eyes wide with surprise. What with the two-week long term break and your cousin's wedding right after, it has been a while since you've seen him. Looking at him now makes you realize how terribly you missed him. All you want to do is run into his arms and hug him tightly.

"Y/N-chan, you're so cruel. Making us miss you for the entire first week of our last year," Oikawa pouts playfully at you.

"Aww. I missed you all too, Tooru. In fact, I missed you all so much that I came back a day earlier just so I could see this very look of surprise on your stupid face," you say as you give everyone a high five.

"Well, I'm glad you're back because at least now you can take Iwa-chan off my back," he says and you laugh.

"Someone's already doing that, though," Makki whispers a little too loudly and earns a smack on his head by an angry Iwa.

You frown. What was that about?

But before you can enquire further, Oikawa drags you away to introduce you to the new first years in the team.

It is time for them to practice so you make your way to the bench on the side. You're not the manager for their team but you might as well have been since you spend all your free time hanging around in the gym, watching them practice.

"Sorry, I'm late!" you turn around and see someone run into the gym, huffing and panting, "I couldn't find my shoes and spent a long time looking for them."

"Ah, Noriko-chan. Come, come. We were just about to start," Oikawa waves at her from the court.

"Sorry, give me just one minute to set up," she says and runs towards the bench you are sitting on.

She looks a little surprised to see you but smiles at you as she sets her things down.

She seems nice. You watch as she pulls out a notebook and a pen from her bag and goes and sits next to the scoreboard.

She must be the new manager Iwaizumi had told you about. She is a year younger than you and you have seen her around in school a few times.

You plan to confess to Iwaizumi tonight and, as the practice nears its end, you start getting more and more restless and nervous. You will confess to him on your usual walk back home, when it's just the two of you.

After practice, you stroll over to him as he stuffs his jersey into his gym bag. You are going to do this tonight for better or for worse.

Relax. You're just going to ask him if he's ready to leave. You try to calm yourself, your heart going a 100 miles an hour already.

"He-ey, Hajime! You ready to go, yet? There's something I wanted to talk to you about on the way back."

His expression suddenly changes into something uncomfortable.

"Uhh, actually, Y/N. I'm walking back home with Noriko tonight. Is it important? I can ask her to wait."

You blink at him.

"Oh."

He must have noticed the disappointment on your face because he continues, looking even more guilty and uncomfortable somehow, "Sorry. I didn't know that you were coming a day earlier and I had already promised her I'd walk her."

"It's all right, Hajime. You don't need to explain. I'll just walk back with the others," you smile at him and start walking away.

"Wait, you never told me what you wanted to talk to me about."

"Ahh, don't worry about it. It was nothing important," you say, not looking back at him.

At that moment Noriko appears from the opposite direction and runs towards Iwaizumi.

"Hajime-kun. You ready to leave?"

Hajime? They're on a first name basis already?

Your stomach feels like it has been filled with a pile of rocks as you walk back to Oikawa, who is talking about a new play strategy with Mattsun.

"Y/N! Do you mind waiting for a bit? I was just explaining to Mattsun about this new technique we can try tomorrow."

"Take your time! I'm in no hurry. I'll go sit outside until then," you say and make your way out of the gym.

You spot Noriko and Iwaizumi walking out of the front gate and the feeling of dread grows in your chest. You sit on the grass, holding your knees close to your chest. Your head is spinning with questions.

How did they become this close in just three weeks? Or has it been going on longer? Is this what Makki was referring to when he joked earlier? Why hadn't Iwaizumi told you anything about her except that she was the new manager? After all, you were one of his closest friends, he would tell you if he was seeing someone.

Wouldn't he?

This is not how you had imagined today to go at all. You had woken up this morning equal parts excited and nervous because today was the day you were finally going to tell Iwaizumi everything you felt for him. But now it feels like you might never get to do that.

No. No. No. Stop overreacting. There might be a simple explanation for all this. You put your head between your knees and take in deep breaths to calm yourself. You don't want the others to see you like this.

You've calmed yourself down considerably by the time they arrive and you finally set off home with the rest of the team.

The usual banter between the boys helps take your mind off things and you find the tightness in your chest easing as the third years resort to their usual clown antics.

"Hey, isn't that Iwaizumi Senpai?" one of the first years says and everyone stops in their tracks. You turn to see where he's looking.

You inhale sharply and you can feel Oikawa stiffen next to you.

You're all standing a little way away from a really cute bakery and, through the window, you can see Iwaizumi and Noriko sitting and talking to each other.

"Hah! I told you they were dating," Makki says with a smug expression on his face.

Oikawa, in a slightly panicked voice, says, "Now, now, let's not jump to conclusions."

"Pssh, you're only saying that because you were wrong and I was right. They're clearly on a date right now! Back me up Mattsun!," Makki quips back.

"I don't care."

Their argument just fades into the background as you watch Iwa and Noriko from the window. Noriko hands Iwa a rectangular box, wrapped with a pink paper with hearts drawn over it. It looks like something a girlfriend would give to her boyfriend.

You're wishing a hole would open up in the ground right now and swallow you forever.

"There's a very simple solution to this, all right? We will ask Iwa-chan tomorrow. Then we will see who was right. Let's not stand here and gape at them from the window, it will be awkward if they see us. Come on, chop chop, let's go," Oikawa's panic is evident in his voice as he tries to usher everyone away from the window.

"Y/N, come on. Let's go," Oikawa says.

You hear him but you don't move. It feels like your feet are planted into the ground. He reaches out, grabs your hand and pulls you towards him.

As he does that, Iwaizumi looks out of the window.

And, just for a split second, your eyes meet. But before you can register it, Oikawa has pulled you out of view.

The rest of the group is walking a little ahead, chatting animatedly. Thankfully, none of them noticed anything.

Well, except Oikawa. You can sense he is struggling to think of words to say to you.

"Y/N, look, don't listen to these idiots, okay? They don't know what they're talking about," he says to you in a low voice.

You stop in your tracks and he stops with you.

It's not surprising that he knows about your feelings, seeing how close you both are. He probably figured it out long ago. There's no point hiding it now.

"I was going to confess to him tonight, you k-know?" and as you say that, your voice cracks.

"I w-was going to tell him everything. A-about how much he means to me, about how I have felt about him for the last one year, about how he is all I think about all the time- and- I- I-," you're trembling from head to toe as another sob escapes from your mouth.

"And what makes you think that I don't feel the same way about you?" a quiet voice speaks up from behind you.

You spin around and see Iwaizumi standing a few feet away, the last fading rays of the sun falling on his face at an angle, highlighting his serious expression.

"It's not her fault. Makki wouldn't stop going on about how he was right about you two dating," Oikawa says.

Iwaizumi just nods at Oikawa, "Can you walk Noriko home? She's waiting at the bakery."

Oikawa nods and walks off. The others have also long since gone ahead. It is just you and Iwaizumi on this empty road now.

He comes closer to you, olive green eyes looking straight into yours as he speaks.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now but I wasn't sure how to tell you. I didn't just want to tell you, I wanted to show you how much you mean to me."

He says and holds out a box for you. It is rectangular in shape and is wrapped with a pink paper with hearts drawn all around it.

"Open it."

You take it from him silently. It is heavier than it looks and you are careful not to drop it as you tear it open.

You gasp as you realize what it is. It is a framed painting of you and Iwaizumi. Or rather, it is a painting of your favourite photo of you and Iwaizumi. You had taken this picture on your first school trip together, both of you smiling ear to ear with the sun setting over the hills in the background.

"I had heard about a junior who paints really well and I had approached her right before school ended. That junior was Noriko and she is the one who painted this. Coincidentally, she also joined the team as a manager.

I had been meeting her to check on the progress of the painting which, of course, was an invitation for everyone to let their imaginations run wild about us.

She was supposed to give me the painting today and a treat at her favourite bakery was just my way of saying thank you to her, nothing more."

You're overwhelmed with emotions and your eyes keep flitting back and forth from Iwa and the painting.

"It's beautiful. You're beautiful. Thank you. I- I don't know what to say," you say, your voice barely a whisper

His face finally breaks into a smile.

"Just say yes to being my girlfriend?"

You link your arm with his and gaze lovingly into his eyes.

"Yes. A million times over, yes."

Hope you like it!! <3

Check out this BEAUTIFUL IWA ART of the painting by @darthdutton

Reblogs appreciated. Please do not steal or repost.

Taglist: @pansexualproblemchild

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Check out THIS POST to know what all characters I have written and will be writing for in this series.

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nighthaikyuu · 4 years

Note

could you do the “kissing my best-friend” tiktok trend with bokuto, kuroo and oikawa! thank you hehe

— synopsis: haikyuu boys x y/n; kissing their best-friend after watching the trend thats been taking over tiktok.

— characters included: bokuto, kuroo, oikawa

— genre: fluff!!

— authors note: this is so overdue I apologize!!

bokuto

if bokuto was glad about anything, it was the fact that you had never downloaded tiktok.

if you had, the second he’d plop his phone against the tv stand and let the song electric love fill the room, you would’ve narrowed your eyes at him and beat him to death.

at least, that’s what he thought.

your bottom lip was rolled beneath your teeth as you stared at the screen in utter concentration, your fingers moving faster than ever as you finally let out a triumphant grin.

turning to look at bokuto, you teased, “told you I was going to win that round.”

usually, bokuto would counter back with a snarky response but this time, he simply shook his head and averted your gaze, his eyes falling back onto the phone for the nth time.

“what are you recording?” you finally asked, your eyes trailing to the phone.

“nothing! just a tiktok!” bokuto squeaked, before chuckling nervously.

you raised a brow at that but as you watched him flash you a wide smile, you simply shrugged and turned your attention back to the tv screen, ready to start the second round.

just then, as the beat drop came closer and closer, and bokuto’s palm became increasingly sweaty, you suddenly felt yourself being tugged towards the boy beside you.

eyes widening at the sudden movement, you turned to bokuto, his name halfway on your lips when you suddenly felt his nose brush yours, his lips dangerously close.

“bo—“ you started when soft lips grazed over your own, effectively shutting you up in an instant.

you spent the next few seconds short-circuiting but then you felt bokuto’s grip on your waist tighten, and you melted, dropping the game console on your lap as your hands laid against his chest, gripping his sweatshirt tightly in your hands.

pulling away after what was either a couple of seconds or several minutes, bokuto rested his forehead against yours, his hot breath fanning your face as you heard him chuckle softly, “didn’t expect this to go that well.”

slapping his chest lightly, you tried to scowl in annoyance yet the small smile that wouldn’t leave your face betrayed you.

“you’re such an idiot”

kuroo

you were going to kill your friends.

nervously pacing your room, you were looking for a place to put your phone when you heard kuroo chuckle from behind you, “you’ve been walking around your room like it’s a strangers. you good?”

jumping slightly, you turned around and gave him a nervous smile, “aha, yea completely fine! just finding a place to put my phone to record-um—something.”

raising a brow, kuroo looked at you skeptically before turning his attention back to his book.

cursing yourself inwardly, you scolded yourself for choosing dare last night. you should’ve known your friends would’ve done something like this.

nearly all of them knew of your fat crush on your best-friend kuroo and the fact that you wouldn’t do anything about it bothered them to no end; but they weren't you. they didn’t know how absolutely terrifying it is to confess to your best-friend. there was just so much that could go wrong.

yet here you were.

after they dared you to do this tiktok with him, and threatening that if you didn’t they would tell him themselves, you found that you had no other choice but to just do it. after all, if this all went absolutely miserable, you could just tell him you got dared to and end of story. at least you desperately hoped.

finally, setting the phone on top of your dresser table, you opened the app with shaky hands and pressing the song electric love and setting the time to 60 seconds.

the fact that in the next minute or so, your entire life was going to literally turn upside down was enough for you feel like you were going to throw up.

taking in a shaky breath, you told yourself you have to do this y/n, you can't back out. slipping your AirPods into your ears, you pressed the record button and turned around to face kuroo, who had been staring at the book in his hand, a concentrated look on his face.

you knew there was still a decent bit of the song left before the drop would happen, the moment in which you were supposed to kiss the boy in front of you.

shaking your hands, you slowly started making your way towards him. in no time, you stood by the side of the bed at which he was sitting at and by now, his attention was on you.

“you look constipated.” he noted.

“s-shut up!”

hearing the song in your ears near the beat drop, every note began to drum through your blood; a sudden adrenaline rush ran through your veins when you bent down and removed the book from his hands.

“hey, I was reading that dumbass!”

ignoring him, you sat down beside him so that your back was facing the camera but you were facing kuroo.

as the song heightened, you swallowed roughly as you could feel your heart race in alignment; before you could back out, you grabbed kuroo’s shirt and pulled him flush against you, pressing your lips tightly against his.

the second you felt kuroo stiffen against you, every single fear you had came crashing down. starting to pull away, an apology resting at the tip of your tongue, you suddenly felt him lean into you, his lips moving against yours softly.

his hands that had been at his side came up to grip your waist tightly, the touch sending a jolt through your body. drawing back slowly, kuroo rested his forehead against yours as he stared at you with half-lidded eyes, his cheeks flushed red.

“holy shit y/n...” he whispered against your lips, a small smile appearing on his lips, “d-did you mean that?”

you nodded almost immediately, a rush of relief flooding your body as you realized he kissed you back, kuroo freaking kissed you back.

kuroo’s smile widened even further. leaning back in, he pressed another soft kiss on your lips, “I’ve been waiting for this day forever.”

oikawa

while maki and mattsun were arguing over something in the back as iwaizumi stared outside the window in annoyance, you sat in the passenger seat beside oikawa as the two of you scrolled through tiktoks together on your phone.

stumbling upon the ever famous best-friend challenge, you watched the tiktok with a soft smile on your face. you waited in anticipation for the beat to drop and as soon as it did, the guy leaned towards his girl best friend and pulled her towards him, a hint of permission in his eyes before he pressed his lips tightly against hers.

“that’s literally so staged.” oikawa snorted beside you.

rolling your eyes, you replied with a huff, “yea I bet the thousands of people who did this trend all had it staged, I’m sure.”

crossing your arms together against your chest, you added, “It’s your fault you have 0 ounce of romance in you Tooru.”

smirking, oikawa tilted his head so that his face was just inches away from yours, your cheeks suddenly flushing at the reduced proximity.

“is that so?” he grinned, a glint of mischief in his eyes.

before you could question it, he took your phone from you before quickly pressing the song and clicking the record button, setting it down in front of him.

as the song began to blast through the car, the boys in the back froze as the all-too-familiar tune.

“oh hell no.” iwaizumi murmured before quickly opening the door and stepping outside, not willing to be a part of any of that. the other two quickly got the hint as well, falling in suit and before you knew it, the only two people in the car were you and Oikawa.

while the boys had scrambled out the moment the song came on, you on the other hand went still in shock, unaware of what was actually happening and what Oikawa was even thinking.

“wait, why’d they all leave? why’d you turn that on—oh.”

feeling a pair of rough and calloused hands cup your face, you were suddenly pulled towards the driver’s seat, lips brushing against yours. before you could say, or do, anything else, oikawa enveloped your lips with his, kissing you softly.

eyes fluttering to a close, you leaned into the kiss, every single thought in your head flying out the window when all you could see, feel, taste, smell and hear was oikawa.

pulling away after what seemed like an eternity, oikawa turned back to the phone and pressed the stop recording button.

“i—what j-just—?” you sputtered as everything came crashing down when oikawa flashed you a smug grin, “now, am I still not romantic?”

blinking, you slowly took in his words before a sudden realization dawned upon you, that douchebag.

starting with a hit to the shoulder, you flung yourself towards him before bombarding him with several punches, words like you asshole! and that was my first kiss you fucker! spilled from your mouth as oikawa laughed beneath you, trying to wrestle you away from him, “ay, don’t hurt this handsome face. my fan club won’t be very happy with you.”

watching the both of you from outside the car, maki and mattsun were both laughing so hard they started to wheeze while iwaizumi beside them just had an amused look on his face.

you probably thought oikawa was messing with you, but iwaizumi knew oikawa meant every single second of it.

general taglist: @cinnamonrusts @postsfromthe6 @lady-snavely @02hhsailor @killuaking @rae0fsunshine1317 @sugawaaras @voids-universe @yams046 @visaintes @simpforsaeko @honeybacon @kuroosbabie @verblueht @captain-janeway

character-specific taglist: @mkkhaikyuu @bluelightningxiii @ushiwakasvball

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader #oikawa x reader #kuroo x reader #bokuto hq #haikyuu bokuto #oikawa tooru #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu kuroo #Kuroo Tetsurou #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu headcannons #haikyuu scenarios #oikawa tooru x reader #kuroo tetsuro x reader

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suganovakawa · 4 years

Text

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , slight hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐕 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐕

can you handle the truth?

word count : 1.2k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀your stomach leaped across fields the moment you woke up. there was an uneasy tension in the air as you opened your phone to see no new notifications. what was hajime so nervous about? what could've possibly happened for him to be so... stubborn in wanting to keep it from you? you were beginning to think you were some sort of serial killer, and hajime was hiding you from the government. that wouldn't be too drastic... maybe?

⠀hajime showed up at your door in the afternoon, you were surprised to see the dark circles under his eyes. he hadn't slept a wink. his abnormalcy was making you second guess yourself. did you really want to know everything? or was iwaizumi right?

⠀you shook that thought out of your head before it could become your main worry. you did want to know. that was why you confronted him once and for all yesterday. he, as far as you knew, was the only one who could give you the answers you wanted. no one else seemed to know - or they just weren't willing to tell you.

⠀you clenched your jaw as you opened the door for hajime, who had his hands in his pockets, uncharacteristically quiet. you didn't bother to begin a conversation, and neither did he. you kept your distance as you walked side by side, alongside hajime as he took the lead to his desired location. you didn't realize where you two stopped, until you stood right underneath the doorway - an arcade.

⠀this silence wasn't going to get you anywhere. "why are we here?"

⠀"before... we get to the serious matters," he spoke, noticeably choosing his words carefully, "get your mind off it first. i know you've been tense the past few days, and it's good to wind down, even if it's only for a little while."

⠀"hajime, i swear to god if you - "

⠀"i'm not avoiding it, i promise." his face wavered, but his voice didn't. "before you go home today, i swear you will know everything you want to know."

⠀he had that finalty in his tone that told you, indefinitely, that it wouldn't go any other way. might as well see this through. you had your head set like steel, no distraction would let him get under your nerves. whatever game iwaizumi was trying to play with you, he wasn't going to win. the truth was so close, you could reach out and feel it in your fingertips.

⠀"i was... hoping this place would trigger some memories, you know." you shrugged your shoulder off as hajime placed a hand on it to help you inside. "this is actually the place we first met, before your accident."

⠀"oh?" you looked around and examined the arcade - retro, dark electronic aesthetics painted the building, with counters of prizes and games galore. however, nothing special came to you about it. "nothing stands out to me. are you sure this is where we first met?"

⠀"well, not actually meet." he put air quotes around 'meet'. "rather, this is where we first got to know each other. since we were on the same team and never spoke, we all came here and this is where we all got a bonding moment." he laughed, rather fondly, but you didn't react to it. "the entire team came together after practice one day, and we spent a good few hours here."

⠀"sounds fun." you didn't feel like playing at an arcade, of all places. the neon lights hardly piqued your interest; hajime seemed to be the only one excited to be here. or maybe it was just a front, and he was merely trying to pass the time and make you forget. you almost laughed at the thought of it. with how desperate you were for answers, any attempt to make you forget would be pathetically futile.

⠀"it was. you had a nasty flick when it came to air hockey." as if right on cue, there was the air hockey table, right in your line of sight. "want to play?"

⠀you really didn't. "i could go for a round."

⠀placing the tokens in a slot, iwaizumi took a side, and you took yours. the plastic of the little paddle was cold against your hand, but the clang of the puck had already begun to slide against the table before you could pinpoint any nostalgic feeling to it. each point seemed like a drag, but hajime seemed to be telling the truth about one thing - your flicks were pretty damn good.

⠀before you could get into the game, the table had stopped, the puck disappeared, and the scoreboard read 7 - 4. you gently bit the side of your cheek to conceal an oncoming cheeky gloat as your company simply brushed his loss off with a huff.

⠀"come on, i'm hungry. let's go and eat. it's lunch time." before he could drag you off somewhere else, you began to walk off, hoping to make it out of the arcade.

⠀"already? but we just got here and only played one thing - "

⠀"i'm hungry, hajime." by the looks of your glare, you knew that iwa knew that you weren't hungry.

⠀a walk around the block and a restaurant later, you two ended up sitting down in a booth in the back of the same place you two had gone to not long before. you sat him down before he could go up and further procrastinate. he was a deer trapped in headlights - he was genuinely scared of what was to come. but enough was enough, you were tired of him relentlessly beating around the bush. you wanted answers, and you wanted them now.

⠀"just get it over with," you pleaded. "i want to remember. i want to know, hajime. don't you understand? why won't you tell me? what are you so afraid of?"

⠀"it's more complicated than that, y/n." he kept his voice low, but his hands were balled up into tight fists. "if it were so easy, i would've come out and tell you the moment i saw you. but it's much more complicated. i'm trying to protect you."

⠀"forget protecting me!" your sudden outburst caused a turn of heads, but you sank down in your seat long enough for everyone to continue their own daily agenda. you leaned forward to stare iwaizumi right in the eyes - you had never seen him so scared before. "i'm not your damsel in distress," you whispered, "enough is enough. you need to stop the hero act. i'm grateful for everything you've done for me, but keeping something vital to my memory for your own personal gain? what do you even get out of keeping me in the dark, hajime? just what?"

⠀hajime was silent. his eyes had turned away from yours, the gears in his head visibly turning. you sat back and crossed your arms, not knowing what could possibly be running through that head of his. it was on the tip of his tongue, all he needed was a push to get him to confess.

⠀"what do i gain?" he muttered, after continuous moments of ongoing silence. a strange smile appeared on his lips, expressing something you had never seen from him before. "a second chance."

⠀a what?

⠀"a second - "

⠀"we were in a relationship before, you and i."

⠀and just when you didn’t think it would get more complicated than this, the cat had been let out of the bag.

a/n : for my own health (and possibly yours), i am never writing another angst series with hajime iwaizumi ever again 🧍🏻‍♀️

taglist ( closed ) — @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan @crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-alot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee @froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam@0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @karaseijoh @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch @readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy @kukiisan @catyuyuyuu @sillykittt @dolan-mendes @kiritokunuwu @the-third-wall @yammers @todohawki

— continued in the comments! starting this new year off strong <3

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haikyuuwaifu · 4 years

Text

Feel Something

Genre: ANGST

Warning: Swearing, Implied Intercourse

MASTERLIST

PREV| NEXT

PART 7:

“Sweetheart, as much as I would love to stay in bed with you, you know I have to go in today.” Your partner chuckled, as you pouted cutely. Your other partner was already in the shower, washing away the juices you left all over him. “I suppose I’ll allow it this once.” you mumbled sticking your nose in the air haughtily. Tsukishima reached over and pushed you softly; grinning when you tumbled back into the ridiculously large comforter. Reaching, your arms up; you made grabby hands and all he could do was shake his head. “Uh-uh. If I give in, I’ll never leave this bed; and Kuroo and I have things to do today sweetheart.” he mumbled, kissing your forehead softly he stood, and your eyes raked over his form.

Tsukishima Kei had loved you all his life. For half of his life he didn’t have the nerve to tell you. He couldn’t risk ruining the best thing besides his friendship with Tadashi. It didn’t help, that as you both aged; he fell even harder for you. Yamaguchi told him time and time again, to fess up and tell you how he felt; but he couldn’t do that. So he did what any good friend would do and supported you from the sidelines.

He was there during the honeymoon phases and he was there when the inevitable heartbreak happened; and you never questioned it. How could you, when you knew he would always be there. He had tried to move on countless times; but they never seemed to work out. He didn’t know what it was, until he saw you with Bokuto. He hated to admit it in the beginning, but you and Bokuto were perfect together. You understood each other in a way that Tsukki could only dream of. When you confessed that you had loved Bokuto, Tsukki was sure he had lost his chance. He wanted you to be happy, and if Bokuto made you happy; then he was going to stand aside and let it be. It didn’t matter that those women didn’t work out, because they weren’t you.

When Tsukki was offered the chance to play in Sendai he took it. As much as it pained him, he needed the time away from you to move on. You made him promise to facetime, call, and text. You also made him swear to send you snacks monthly. Since you had been so busy with school, you wouldn’t have been able to visit him as much as you wanted. Settling in Sendai wasn’t difficult for Tsukki, he was on his own and he kept mostly to himself. He had tried dating, and it had gone fine; but something in his heart told him it just wasn’t the right time. The two of you managed to talk maybe twice a week, three times if your schedules allowed it. One weekend he had managed to surprise you, and he himself was slightly surprised that Bokuto wasn’t there like he usually was.

You didn’t bring it up, so he didn’t ask instead choosing to spend the time he had doing the things you two loved the most. That weekend was probably, the first weekend he noticed something was off; so when he made plans with Kuroo in Sendai; he was surprised to find out that Bokuto was losing touch with Kuroo and Akaashi as well. Seeing Bokuto, with his arms around Hikari; made Tsukki furious. In all honesty, if Kuroo hadn’t been there to stop him; he probably would have attempted to kill him. It shattered him, when he heard your sobs from the bedroom closet. It absolutely wrecked him, to see you that way. Sobbing and chest heaving, your heart completely shattered by the man you wanted to love forever.

It had only taken a few days to move your things to Sendai and into Tsukki’s apartment. He watched, as you cried and clung to either him or Kuroo for the duration of three months. Kuroo had taken a leave of absence to be there for you, and one night when you were asleep Tsukki had to ask why. “I never thought Bokuto deserved someone like her.” Kuroo whispered, stroking your hair softly. “He’s always been loud and flashy. When he first told me about Y/N I thought he was full of shit.” Kuroo grumbled. “When I saw her, standing with him at the amusement park entrance I wanted to hit him. I had never hated my best friend more than I did in that moment.” he grumbled pulling you closer to his chest. “I’m here because I need her. When Bokuto was “gone” I was there to make sure she ate properly, slept, and drank enough water. She was working herself to the bone, so she could finish early for him.” Kuroo mumbled, eyes never leaving your hands. “I’m here for the same reason you are, and I’m not going to take her away from you.” That night both men had come to the agreement, that they would pursue you together when the time was right.

It had taken you another 9 months to fully recover from your heartbreak; and the two of them were there. They had been there the entire time, and Akaashi was the one who helped you realize, that they could never do what Bokuto did to you. The next year was spent in domestic bliss, as the three of you managed to find your dynamic. Both men travelled a lot, so you tried to keep busy by finding things to do. You found your niche in the kitchen, and while on a trip with the boys you signed yourself up for a workshop being hosted by an up and coming Onigiri shop. Tsukki and Kuroo were discussing team trading, so you had been left to your own devices.

The workshop had been small and you and the owner had hit it off when you discussed the prices of produce back in Sendai. Leaving the workshop you had made a new friend and a new Onigiri recipe that was now Tsukki’s favorite. A week after the trip, Tsukishima and Kuroo approached you with the idea of moving to Osaka; because the MSBY wanted to bring Tsukishima to their team. Looking at your boyfriend, you could see the hesitation. You knew he only wanted to look out for you, but you were in a better place; so you simply clapped your hands and started planning.

Amidst your planning, your new Onigiri friend had found the time to visit you, and you had shown him all the best places for produce and the like while he was in town. He had ended up staying with you and your boyfriends; and over the course of those two weeks you had gone on to tell him the news about moving to Osaka. He was excited to finally have some friends of his own. He didn’t mind his brother’s friends, but most of them were loud and brash; minus Kiyoomi. Before he left, Kuroo and Tsukishima took Osamu out to lunch and told him everything he needed to know about Bokuto and his ties to you. To say the man was disgusted was the understatement of the century. He made sure to declare, that Bokuto would no longer be served at his shop; and the silver haired man never asked why.

The move to Osaka had been easy with the help of your friends. Akaashi had met Osamu during the process and the two had hit it off much to your delight. Tsukki and Kuroo could only shake their heads at your scheming matchmaking face. You had FINALLY met Kenma as well, someone Kuroo would never shut up about. The two of you bonded over making fun of Kuroo, and he still doesn’t know how to feel about it.

“Oi, I know she’s gorgeous; but if you don’t get ready we’re going to be late.” Kuroo snickered, bending down to give you a soft kiss. The other man’s interruption pulled Tsukishima out of his thoughts, and rolled his eyes. Sticking his foot out, he shoved Kuroo in the ass and snickered when the tall men fell over in a heap on the floor. Turning, he made his way to the shower, smiling at the giggles spilling out of your lips. No matter what happened today, Tsukishima knew he had you to come home to; and that’s what was most important to him.

@dabilove27 @amberalisa @yafriendlyfangirl @lia-faerie-queen @captain-janeway @elianetsantana @black-rose-29

#feel something #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu concepts #tsukishima scenarios #tsukishima imagine #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei #kuroo scenarios #kuroo imagine #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo x reader

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qwertyfingers · 4 years

Note

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words!

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone.

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun).

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH.

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit.

#spn #spn fic #tfw 2.0 #treknatural

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songbookff · 4 years

Note

Beverly Crusher/Kathryn Janeway drabble (during or post-Voyager)?

hello anon. hope you enjoy.

It was a requirement that the entire crew be given a full medical exam, both physical and mental, upon Voyager's return to this side of space. Kathryn had been dreading her mental evaluation, but the counselor had been very kind and understanding. Apparently all of her stress and apprehension was completely normal.

Now she sat on a biobed in a private room at Starfleet medical, awaiting her physical. After seven years of having a hologram treat her, it would be odd to have an actual breathing person checking her out. However, the person who walked through the door wasn't who she expected.

"Hello, Captain." The smooth voice was just as familiar as it had been twenty years ago. And Kathryn had no idea how she kept her hair that red. And that smile...

"Beverly," murmured Kathryn in greeting. After all the reunions she had in the past few days, this had not been one she had been expecting.

They had met in their last year of the Academy where they had a few overlapping classes. Kathryn had fallen just a little bit in love with Beverly Howard and for a few months, thought maybe the young woman might return those feelings. There were late nights studying and shares glances that just friends shouldn't have.

Then Jackson Crusher had appeared. And Beverly was in love. Then married. And the last time they had truly spoken, had a child. Over the years, they had run into each other at formal events. But it had been too long since it had been just the two of them.

If Kathryn was honest with herself, it had been years since she had thought of Beverly as anymore than an Academy acquaintance. But there was something about those eyes.

"It's good to see you," said Beverly as she crossed the room to pick up the med tablet with Kathryn's file on it. "I honestly thought I would never see you again."

"You and me both," replied Kathryn, wryly. They shared a smile. Kathryn could feel a warning in her chest. She tried to tell herself that this attraction was just due to the years of being physically distant from her crew. Beverly was familiar and beautiful. But true feelings for an old friend...that was ridiculous.

"I hope you don't mind that I volunteered to do your physical. I thought you would feel more comfortable with someone you knew, after everything that has happened." Beverly tipped her head down slightly to study the pad in her hands. "Your EMH was very thorough and took excellent notes."

"The Doctor was certainly unique, but completely capable at his job."

"Yes, as the Head of Medical, I got to interview him." This was said with a smirk. Kathryn was certain she was blushing, but luckily Beverly was still looking at the data in her hands.

"Congratulations. I know you deserve it."

"Thank you," Beverly's eyes drifted back to Kathryn now. There was a softness in her expression for just a moment that reminded Kathryn of those late nights in the Academy. But with a flash it was gone and Dr. Crusher was back.

"I promise to make this as short and painless as possible." Her tricorder seemed to appear out of nowhere.

As usual, Beverly was true to her word and the exam went quickly. Kathryn hoped Beverly hadn't noticed her heartbeat quicken when she touched her wrist. This was a silly infatuation; after years of being isolated in the Delta Quadrant, the memory of an old crush was just stirring something inside of her.

And yet...

After it seemed that Beverly had thoroughly gone over her, the light smile was back. Kathryn pushed herself off the biobed and Beverly leaned back against the counter across from her.

"I hope your adjusting to being back."

"I thought I already had my psych eval," joked Kathryn. She felt her hear jump a little at the laugh her comment drew from Beverly.

"I just wanted to say that if you needed someone to just spend time with, I don't mind. I haven't been back in San Francisco that long and I would love to do some old fashioned sight seeing."

"I would..." Kathryn hesitated. Was she reading too much into this? Was Beverly even single? Of course she knew about Jack's tragic death, but there were always whispers about her and Picard. Or maybe some other woman?

"I know you have a lot going on. I just wanted you to know I'm here, if you need me," added Beverly hastily. It was then that Kathryn realized that Beverly seemed nervous too.

"That's not what I meant...I just know you're busy." Kathryn offered the out, hoping that Beverly wouldn't take it.

"For you, I'll make the time."

"Then the next time I want something good to eat, I'll message you." Kathryn almost couldn't believe it. But she also knew that Beverly saw her promises through; if she was offering to spend time together, she really meant it.

"Kathryn," her given name rolled off of Beverly's lips like a kiss. "It really is good to see you."

#not a ship i normally write #but i really enjoyed how this turned out #kathryn janeway #star trek #beverly crusher #voyager #tng #voy #janeway x crusher #kathryn janeway/beverly crusher

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odoes · 4 years

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i know a lot of people see my gay posts about miss founder and are like okay lilly we get it... but it being valentine’s day and having an emotionally turbulent week i’ve got a LOT to say. some of it will be things i’ve said before but...

in spite of having only had relationships with women, ever since i was little i've always felt an extreme pressure to find men attractive. the majority of male characters have primarily been robots or aliens, things that are very "other" while still being masculine or male coded enough to be perceived as normal. even my second ever star trek related crush was on data. a girl i liked irl talked about this crush on data behind my back when i was 12 or 13 (2009-ish) and it hurt me and made me go back to only liking star trek from a distance.

flash forward to early 2019, i watched orange is the new black and fell in love with red (kate mulgrew) so i decided i had to watch star trek voyager despite only having knowledge of tos and a little bit of tng. i had a crush on janeway for almost an entire year but... it never felt quite right. i still felt wrong, and guilty for being so sexually attracted to a woman. all my life i conditioned myself to mentally justify that "she's not there to be sexualized, thinking about women sexually is bad" from growing up reading such things on the internet, though i knew in my heart it was okay to have feelings about a woman. in my mind it still made me feel... predatory for feeling those desires. i fought with this for a long time and janeway, like every female character i'd crushed on before her, slowly started to lose my interest. eventually i started ds9.

i fell very fast and very hard for odo. i had never encountered a character quite like his before out of all the media i'd consumed, and even some of my best friends agreed that they never would've guessed i'd like someone like odo that much. i was familiar with the likes of spock, data, and seven being outsiders, sure, but odo was... so different. so extremely personal. i was (and still am) deeply in love with him, but i still fought the idea of liking a man that much and still struggle with the thought. i was in a relationship a few years ago where my girlfriend left me for a man and it truly broke me. but this feeling for odo healed me, in an odd way. i learned how to truly love again, beyond a superficial crush. odo taught me how to love and how to at least begin to see some worth in myself, though it's been very hard.

by february 2020 i had finished the entirely of ds9 + the documentary. then one day, while looking for a photo of her for a joke about her "looking like cgi", i realized hm! the female changeling was really quite pretty! i assumed it was just another wacky lil female crush that i'd be over in a month or so. but i began to realize... she's the bitter outsider too. like odo. like me.

over the spring i fell deeper and deeper in love with her. a woman, terrified of anything outside of her comfort zone, hiding it behind a cold, powerful facade. maybe it's projection more than anything... but i truly love her so much. i think she's incredibly beautiful, her face is simple like odo's yet so unique and gorgeous, and her body is remarkable. a body like mine, with curves and a tummy. her sultry voice, her mannerisms, everything about her is so sexually appealing to me. and for once in my life... i haven't felt sorry for being sexually attracted to a woman. when i think about taking her to bed, it only brings desire, not shame and guilt.

i refuse to sit around and defend or debate the morals behind her actions in the story of the show. the narrative painted is that she's genuinely manipulative and genocidal. there's no buts about how she is in canon, those are the facts.

as her own entity, however, using my own thoughts, feelings, and projections... she's very healing for me. because of the circumstances i grew up in and knowing there are countless people who think i should die because of my sexuality alone, not to mention all the awful things other people face every day... it's hard not to become extremely disenchanted with the world. so many awful things happen all the time, every day. there is so much hatred and tragedy in the world.

but... being in love with a character who has that same bitter disposition towards other beings, with a stringent need for control and order, makes me see things in a different light. whenever i feel overwhelmed by all the bad i see every day, i lay in my bed at night and imagine that i'm sitting with her, maybe holding her hand, telling her the good things about the world. the little things that make me smile, or bring tears to my eyes from the sheer beauty. there are so many good things to discover even if it's hard to see them a lot of the time.

and... maybe if someone like me could be in love with her... then maybe one day i'll eventually deserve that love in return. loving miss founder gives me hope.

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sharpnothashtag · 3 years

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The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 47

Bridge: KJ, Data, Daneel, Tasha, Tom, Patrick

KJ: Conn, current speed? Tom: Warp 3. KJ: Helm, current heading? Ro: 315 mark 47. KJ: When will we be there, Number One? Data: At current speed, 2 weeks, 4 days, 7 hours. KJ: Daneel, any word from Dukat? We'll be entering Cardassian space soon. Data: In 4 days at our present speed. KJ: Thank you. Daneel: (looking down, multitasking) Dukat's last message was a strange one--we'll be picking up a couple of people who need to be ferried to DS9. His neck was very tense, and he was more articulate than usual. Patrick: Was he annoyed, perhaps? Daneel: (clearly working on something else and not concerned about this) Unclear. KJ: (blinking...realizing she is going to have to get used to someone who doesn't read emotions that well) Are there any ships we need to be aware of in sensor range? Daneel: No. (KJ turns away) However (KJ turns back, fake smiling to put her best foot forward with new Lieutenant) there is a Gamma Class Nebula right (bringing it up on the viewscreen) here if you would like to study it. KJ: Would you like to study it, Lieutenant? Daneel: I have been. (buttons) There are some dilithium crystals that could be used as bargaining chips with the Borg, provided they are in a dire enough state to need them. I have also found trace elements of Galantium. KJ: Data, isn't Galantium the normal antidote given for Lyantirum poisoning? Data: Galantium Byzantride, yes, however it is only used for extreme cases. KJ: You saw the elevated Lyantirum levels from the weapon they were using. Are those levels severe enough to cause poisoning? Data: Yes, but all the drones rescued thus far have not needed the treatment. Hypothetically, with their method and frequency of travel, it would have taken a full year for the effects of Lyantirum poisoning to take effect. However, at the rate the drones were dying due to the phase variant disease, many of them did not succumb to the effects. KJ: Tom, take us by the nebula. Collect all the Galantium we can store. I have a feeling that the Borg we are about to encounter need help, and lots of it. Janeway to Seven of Nine. Seven: Yes, Captain? KJ: Coordinate with Dr. Crusher on the information I'm sending to both of you now. We need to know how the Borg reconstruction surgery could be altered due to the effects of Lyantirum poisoning. Communicate with headquarters that we have found a large cache of Galantium and are collecting it in hopes of using it for treatment. Janeway out. (turning to Ro) Ensign Ro, you and Commander Data figure out the most efficient way to dispense the treatment to as many drones at a time as possible. Lieutenant, you're in charge of harvesting the Galantium. Get down to Engineering, and make sure everyone is on the same page. Daneel: For clarity's sake, what page is that? KJ: (typing into the padd on the arm of her chair, over this before it even starts) The page where we save the Borg's asses. Again.

(throw to commercial)

B'Elanna: Emptying the Bussard collectors is going to take time, Lieutenant. Miles: We'll be here another 6 hours just making sure that they're ready--apparently no one at Utopia Planitia thought they were important enough to test before we left. Daneel: Understood. The Captain sent me to help in any way I can. (B'Elanna nods and takes them off to help clean and test the collectors. Miles is left in Engineering to deal with the programming side of things.)

B'Elanna: Can you hand me that plasma spanner? (Daneel hands it to her. B'Elanna clearly feels awkward.) So...Miles tells me that you and Data hung out last week. Daneel: (blushing deeply) Yes, we did. B'Elanna: May I ask you in what context? Daneel: We went on a date. B'Elanna: (beaming) I like the two of you together. You are both very sweet--almost innocent. Daneel: Innocent? B'Elanna: You're both consenting adults, so it isn't a "young love" situation, but it does feel like you two are generally inexperienced. Daneel: I don't come across as cold and jaded? B'Elanna: I don't think so. But I'm not really one to judge. Daneel: You aren't? You seem neurotypical. B'Elanna: That's true. But that doesn't mean that I trust the way I interpret people's characters. If I were fully Klingon, I think I would be a better judge. But (shrugs) I'm half human. Daneel: I kind of thought that I came across that way. B'Elanna: Why is that? Obviously something in your past has scarred you, but I do wonder why you think of yourself in that way. Daneel: Have you ever found someone who understood you in a way you didn't understand yourself? B'Elanna: Yes. Daneel: Besides Tom. B'Elanna: Strangely enough, yes, besides Tom. Daneel: Wesley Crusher is that person for me. (B'Elanna cocks her eyebrow.) We met while we were in the Academy. One day at lunch, I was studying for my robotics class with the textbook that Data wrote. B'Elanna: (sarcastically) A real page turner. Daneel: (enthusiastically) I know, right?! Anyway, the seat next to me in the cafeteria was open, and Wesley just interrupted my study session.

Flashback (Those of you who know me know I am not a huge fan of Wesley Crusher. That isn't Wil Wheaton's fault. I'm about to try to do him justice. Please bear with me, nonexistent readers and Wil Wheaton.) Wesley walks past Daneel without looking at them. It is as if he isn't allowed to go past--like a video game character hitting an invisible wall.

Wesley: I know this is a really weird thing to say, but I feel like I'm supposed to sit here. Glasses: (Daneel doesn't look up from their book) Go ahead. Wesley: (blinking in surprise, sits down. Notices the book.) Oh, Data's book! I really miss him. Glasses: (deeply surprised, about to fan-person) You know him?! Wesley: Yeah, he's on the Enterprise where my mom was assigned. Daneel: Cool! What's your name? Wesley: I'm Wesley Crusher. He/him/his. Daneel: Wesley? (Wesley nods. Daneel sticks out his hand.) Daneel Akares. They/them/theirs. I have a potentially strange series of questions to ask you. Wesley: (smiling, sitting back in the chair with finger guns) Shoot! Daneel: (hearing the screams of their friends as they exploded; immediately panicked, ducking under the table) Who's shooting?! Wesley: (surprised, talking to them slowly and calmly as he sits on the ground with them) I'm so sorry--I thought you knew that slang term. I just meant to go ahead and ask me the questions you want to ask. No one has weapons here. You're safe. Glasses: I'm sorry. (Daneel is hugging their legs to their chest) I'm still processing a lot of stuff from the Occupation. Wesley: That's okay. (He scoots around under the table to sit side by side with Daneel) What did you want to ask me? Glasses: (looking around) Do you know someone called "The Traveller"? Wesley: (shocked) Yes. He and I know each other well. Daneel: He saved my life. I think he was looking for you, though. Wesley: What makes you say that? Daneel: He called me by your name. He said he was "here to help find her." Wesley: I know when that was. I'll never forget it. Stardate 44161.2. The day my mom disappeared. Daneel: Did the Traveller find her? Wesley: Yes. It was one of the scariest times of my entire life. Daneel: I had a bomb inside my chest. He defused it. Wesley: I'm so sorry. (Daneel puts their head on Wesley's shoulder, still shaking a little.) Do you want to come to my quarters and get to know each other? Daneel: I would like that. However, you should know first that I am not romantically or sexually attracted to you. Wesley: (laughing) Nor I you. Come on, let's go. (Wesley gets up, dusts himself off, and offers Daneel his hand to help them off the floor. Daneel accepts.)

Conference room: KJ, Data, Ro, Miles, Bev, Tasha, and Tom

KJ: Data, report. Data: We have devised a solution. As soon as the threat of assimilation is neutralized, we will beam as many drones as possible into our six cargo bays. Galantium Byzantride will filter in through the environmental controls. Once the treatment is complete, Seven of Nine will take a sample drone, input the command to regenerate, and then we will head back to Utopia Planitia. KJ: How long will it take for the treatment to take full effect? Ro: Only an hour. It's a wonder no one has tried this method before. KJ: Tasha, I want security teams on those cargo bays nonstop until we get back. (Tasha nods.) Doctor, will there be any side effects that would affect the reconstruction surgery? Bev: There is a 30% chance of death with our current surgical routine. Data, Seven, The Doctor, and I will have to perform several holographic simulations in order for this to succeed. KJ: Understood. Lieutenant Daneel, are the Bussard collectors prepared? Daneel: Ready, Captain. Miles: Once the Galantium is collected, Dr. Crusher and I will need to coordinate on how to make the vaccine airborne. Bev: I have a plan in place for that--I'm in the final testing stages. KJ: Good work. Daneel, start the collection process. Ro, when we start the collection, drop the shields and immediately start recharging them. Tom, as soon as we're done, I want to be out of here. Ro and Tom: Aye.

Bev and Miles in Engineering

Bev: (typing in several codes) So, I heard the lovely pieces you, Data, Jean-Luc, and Patrick played at Worf and Deanna's wedding. Would you like to play for mine and Kate's? Miles: Sure. I'd love to. As far as the rest of the quartet goes, you'll have to ask them. Bev: Oh, I already have. I talked to Keiko before we left. She specifically told me to mention it while you were doing something else. Miles: (laughing) That's my wife, alright. She knows I do better when my brain is otherwise occupied. Bev: (laughs. Quiet settles in) So, this couple that we're picking up. Do you know them? Miles: Do I ever. Bev: ...do I get an explanation for that? Miles: (pressing a few buttons in a final flourish) Not at the moment. It's time to collect the Galantium! Bev: You can't just leave me hanging in suspense like that. Miles: I'll tell you this much: there is no more confusing couple in all of Starfleet, and of the same token, they are the most loving couple I've ever known. Bev: (smiling) I suppose I can handle that. Miles: (touching his combadge) O'Brien to Janeway. We're ready to start collecting. KJ: Acknowledged.

(Exterior shot of the ship. The Bussard collectors power up briefly, and then from the nebula, a Borg sphere emerges.)

KJ: (understandably pretty freaked out) Ro where the hell was that thing?! Ro: I'm picking up traces of...synthetic Lyantirum? Data: The cloaking device. Ro: We're being hailed, Captain. KJ: Take the damn thing. Borg: We are the Borg. Your technological-- KJ: I killed your Queen, you directionless drones. You report to me. Borg: Insufficient. Your simple human mind cannot possibly organize the thoughts of millions of drones. KJ: You look at me, Borg ship. I am the only person to ever negotiate with you. I am the one that has gotten away time and time again. You keep chasing me around the galaxy. Years ago when I was ripped away from my crew, it seemed that I was almost immediately forced to deal with you AGAIN. You're almost as stubborn as I am. But notice that I said almost. My efforts to help you have finally worked. Borg: We have noticed the voices disappearing from the collective. KJ: Yes, and that's because of me. And a few hundred other very important people. Patrick: (looking for permission) Captain? (KJ nods) My designation was once Locutus. Does the collective remember me? Borg: The collective recognizes Locutus of Borg. Patrick: Does the collective remember the plans of the Queen before stardate 16147.3? Borg: To research synthetic Lyantirum as a source for a superior cloaking device. Patrick: And did the collective achieve this goal? Borg: Affirmative. Patrick: How?

One drone's voice comes above all the others.

Drone: Because they assimilated us.

Three drones walk to the front of the viewing area.

Data: Sissun? Chuti? Keriss? KJ: The members of the Lyantirum think tank on Mars. Drones 1, 2, and 3: We were assimilated, and then the collective destroyed Jouret IV. KJ: I thought you weren't on Jouret IV when it was attacked. Drones 1, 2, and 3: We were not supposed to be. However, our transport ship was delayed by a plasma storm. We were assimilated. The colony was destroyed. We helped form the Lyantirum transport device and the synthetic Lyantirum cloaking device. KJ: Those devices are dangerous to you and to the space you use them in. Borg: Enough. This discussion is irrelevant. Assimilation is imminent. Resistance is futile.

The communication is cut off.

KJ: Ro, raise shields. Tom, prepare evasive maneuvers. Data: (on communicator) All hands, battle stations. KJ: The Borg have engaged us.

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summahsunlight · 4 years

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This Way Became My Journey, Ch. 24

When Neelix opened his eyes for the second time that day, just Counselor Barrett was standing over him, one of her small hands was resting behind his ear and she was smiling at him. She had such a pretty smile, he concluded, and if he were in better spirits he might actually feel warmed by her presence. Instead he felt conflicted. She was here obviously to calm him down from before when he had his first anxiety attack, but he couldn't stand the sight of her standing up right and breathing on own her with her little shy grin. She could not possibly understand what was going on with him. How could she? She had never been forced to live like this. She had never been intentionally paralyzed.

"How are you feeling Neelix?" Her voice was soft, using gentle tones like a mother would use with their sick child.

What a stupid question. I'm feeling miserable. I may never get out of this device and be forced to spend the rest of my life in here. "I'm…feeling alright."

She patted his shoulder. "It's alright to tell me otherwise, Neelix. I understand."

Do you really? Do you really know what it's like to be lying here unable to move? Neelix averted his eyes. He didn't want to speak with her. He didn't want to listen to her tell him some therapeutic babble that she was undoubtedly going to give to him. It was not going to help, it was not going to get him out of this device. When he had first opened his eyes earlier that day he had been skeptical, but happy to be alive. Now, now he wished that the Commander and Ensign Kim had just left him to die on that planetoid. It would have been much better than lying here, staring up at the ceiling, which Kes' had decorated rather nicely, for the rest of his life.

"How about we talk about something other than yourself? How about Kes? How did you meet her?"

Thinking of Kes brought about another bout of melancholy. She had been standing there when he first had a woken when Lieutenant Barrett had told him what the Doctor and Lieutenant Paris had done to keep him alive. Kes had been so naïve, she was after all only one year old, confident that the Doctor was going to find a better solution. He had tried to get her to go on with her life, even if he knew that meant she'd be with Tom Paris. The man was already making the moves on her and Neelix wasn't even dead yet. "I don't want to talk about Kes."

"There must be something we can talk about to pass the time by."

"NO!" Neelix yelled, angry eyes flashing at her. "I don't want to talk! Just leave me alone!"

He saw her sapphire eyes flicker off to the side; she must have been looking at the holo doctor. And then he was surprised to see them snap back to him, with just as much anger. This wasn't the type of person he had read about in the ship's database that studied to become a counselor. For a moment, the glare almost reminded him of Captain Janeway. This girl could have command of a ship someday. I can see her going toe to toe with the Kazon just like Captain Janeway.

"You're going to listen to me and you're going to listen to me real good, understood Mister Neelix?"

She even sounds like Janeway. All he could do was nod his head; she had rendered him speechless for once.

"Good," she said, sternly. "Now I won't begin to try to even understand how you must be feeling, because I've never been lying in your situation. But, if this is going to work, you're going to have to get off of the woe is me bandwagon and start facing facts. You're alive and that's better than anyone could hope for if they've lost their lungs."

"My lungs weren't lost! They were stolen!"

"You're also lucky," she went on to say, ignoring him, "That you have a captain who is completely devoted to finding who did this to you. I've spent a few years in Starfleet and I'll tell you right now, I've yet to see a captain as loyal to her crew as Kathryn Janeway. Now, I would think you'd want to show her a little respect and gratitude for what she's doing for you and sitting here whining about everything is NOT the way to go about it."

Neelix instantly felt sheepish. How could such a small woman make me feel so…inferior?

Her eyes softened a bit. "I can only do so much for you Neelix. You have to be able to help yourself along the way. Now, let's try this again, what would you like to talk about?"

He bit his lip. "What's happens to Kes if Captain Janeway doesn't find my lungs?"

Lieutenant Barrett looked confused. "She would stay on Voyager."

"But what happens to her? Does she go on with her life?"

"That decision is entirely up to Kes what she does if Captain Janeway is unsuccessful in finding your lungs."

Neelix didn't hear her, he kept rambling. "Does she end up with…Tom Paris?"

She blinked. "What does Tom Paris have to with any of this?"

He didn't miss what she had said that time for her voice caught a little. He turned his eyes to meet hers. "You're trained to make observations, haven't you seen the way he looks at her?"

"He looks at every woman that way Mister Neelix. I've noticed no difference in his behavior."

"Even you?"

Her face flushed a little. "Even…me."

"You could do better than Tom Paris," Neelix pointed out to her. "Like…Ensign Kim."

Her eyebrow shot up. "Harry?"

"I see you two eating in the mess hall together all the time," Neelix replied, with a smile. It felt good to smile he realized. "Sitting and chatting; you always look so relaxed and happy when you're with him. And he did bring you those flowers while you were recovering from your injuries."

"How do you know about those flowers?"

"Ensign Brooks saw him bring them to you. Word gets around fast on a little ship, Lieutenant. Everyone knows. I guess… I just assumed that there could be more there. I think you'd make a very cute couple."

Again her cheeks got a little pink but this time she glared at him. "We're supposed to be talking about you."

If he could shrug his shoulders he would have. "Talking about other people makes me feel better."

She rolled her eyes. She has very pretty eyes, they remind me of the ocean on Talax. "Really Neelix, gossip is not what I had in mind when I came down here. The Doctor wanted me to offer you my professional services, not my friendship."

"I'd rather have your friendship."

She smiled warmly. "I'd rather be your friend."

He could hear the doors to sickbay swish open. Barrett looked up to see who had entered the room and straightened her form. "Kes is here, I'll leave you in her capable hands while I go help Captain Janeway make first contact with a species that, well let's face it, doesn't want to make first contact with us. However, if you need me don't be afraid to contact me, alright?"

"Alright." As she turned to go, he called out, "Thank you Lieutenant, I really do feel better now."

Ship Counselor's log, stardate 48532.4; Mister Neelix still exhibits emotions and behaviors that are disturbing me greatly during his recovery, he goes from being extremely depressed to being extremely happy in a matter of moments. If were home in Alpha Quadrant I would request a trauma specialist, but for now I'm going to have to make do. I can only hope that the aliens we have followed into the asteroid have Neelix's lungs, or we're in for one long and rough ride.

Tom Paris happened to glance up to see Sarah Barrett come out of the turbo lift onto the bridge. She could not have been gone more than twenty minutes. Either Neelix had had a fast recovery or he was not awake yet and the lieutenant saw it pointless to wait around for him to wake up while she could be more useful on the bridge.

Janeway looked surprised to see her as well. "Everything alright?" the Captain asked, softly.

Sara made her way down the steps towards the command station. "For the moment yes, Kes is with him. But, if we're not successful in getting his lungs back, I'm afraid he's in for an emotional roller coaster ride. If we were home I'd request the services of a trauma specialist."

The Captain frowned. "Unfortunately we don't have that luxury. You're just going to have to do your best, Sarah."

Sarah's eyes sparkled, Tom loved it when she got that look, it made her look endearing. "Don't worry Captain Janeway, I'm confident we'll get his lungs back."

I wonder if she really means those words, Tom thought, turning back towards his control panel. And then he remembered that not more than twenty five minutes before she had known that Michael Janeway had taken the alien device and was about to enter the ready room. No one else on that bridge had seen the child move, not even B'Elanna Torres who had been right next to the boy when he did it. Perhaps she does know we're going to get his lungs back.

How she had known was another question. He didn't think she was part betazoid, after all, there had to have been some empathic or telepathic forces working there for her to know. And if she was part betazoid, she had never mentioned it before. Of course there had been a lot of things that she had not mentioned to him. Like the fact that Harry Kim had given her flowers while she had been recovering, or that he had stopped by every day to check on her. Glancing over his other shoulder he caught a glimpse of Harry working at his console intensely.

Tom had wanted Harry to find a new girlfriend, just not one he was thinking about dating. He admitted that he had tried to gage Harry's feelings for her when they had been talking about her in the mess hall while she had been missing. Although his attitude had been that he was happy for Harry, on the inside he was downright jealous and B'Elanna Torres of all people had picked up on it today.

Which meant by tomorrow it would be all over the ship. Damn little ship.

"You're doing just fine, Mister Paris," Janeway said, firmly from behind him. "Just fine."

Her little vote of confidence took his thoughts away from his jealousy of his best friend. It also made him aware that he was not paying attention to his flying. Perhaps that had been Janeway's intention of complimenting him. Either way he should acknowledge her faith in him. "Thanks Captain."

"Sensors detect a large chamber up a head, Captain," Tuvok reported.

The Vulcan was correct, Tom soon found out, because Voyager was flying into a large cavern where they appeared to be thousands of Voyagers and the alien ship. Oh just fabulous, this day keeps getting better and better.

Chakotay was the one to voice the opinion that they all were thinking. "What the hell is it?"

"We appear to be seeing Voyager and the alien ship reflecting off the walls of the chamber," Harry informed the bridge crew.

"Can you determine which ship is the real one?" Janeway said, suddenly appearing to his left.

"No Captain. The walls are emanating severe electromagnetic interference. I cannot scan them directly," Tuvok replied.

"It's like trying to navigate through a hall of mirrors," Janeway said. "You never know when you're going to walk into the glass."

Tom peered up at her. "I'm still picking up the alien's ion trail; maybe we should still follow that?"

"They might have left a fake ion trail to lure us in here," Chakotay replied. "It may lead us straight into one of those walls."

"That's a chance we're going to have to take," Janeway said, turning about to Tuvok. "Commander, extend the deflectors to maximum range. If we do run into something it will give us an extra margin of error. Follow the ion trail Mister Paris, slowly. Mister Kim, continuous scans."

"Aye Captain."

Captain Janeway's assessment of the chamber, like it was a hall of mirrors, was pretty accurate Tom concluded after starting to follow the ion trail again. He tried his best to navigate the maze as it were, but he wasn't sure when or if he was going to crash the ship into a wall at any moment. Just what Janeway needs today, me wrecking Starfleet's most advanced ship.

He felt something brush against his arm and could see out of the corner of eye Michael squeeze his way in between the conn and his mother so he could stand with Janeway. Even though the captain had told him before to stay in her chair, she gently weaved her hand through his hair in a gesture that Tom had received from his mother when he needed comforting as a child. Right now his deep blue eyes were watching the viewscreen intensely but anyone could see the nervous strain on his little face. As frightening as it was for the rest of them, they were trained officers, they knew how to deal with a situation like this. Michael was a child, a very bright child, but still a child. The thought that they were hunting down an alien that had stolen Neelix's lungs must have been a terrifying concept for him.

Janeway must have realized this as well. "Michael, why don't you go into the ready room and check on Ava."

"Yeah that sounds like a good idea," he answered. "I don't want her to get scared and all."

With a hint of smile Tom watched as the boy moved past him and disappeared into the ready room. He had to admit that even though he had not been thrilled when he had first learned of the kids being on board, the boy was starting to grow on him and who could resist Ava's big blue eyes? They were a nice little moral boaster to have around even if at times Michael went tinkering into conduits and consoles that he really shouldn't be tinkering with.

His console beeped. Tom glanced down at his controls to see what the issue was. "Captain," he said. "I'm reading a minor fluctuation in the warp core. I don't think it's anything to worry about."

But even as he said those words the power started to drain all over the ship.

Janeway tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Torres, what's going on down there?"

"Some kind of power drain," B'Elanna Torres answered. "I can't localize it but we're losing power at a rate of seven percent per minute."

"The power drain is coming from somewhere in this chamber, Captain," Harry told her. " Some kind of dampening field. It's bleeding energy directly from the warp nacelles."

"B'Elanna shut down the warp core and go to emergency power," Janeway ordered Torres.

"No effect Captain."

"Keep me informed, bridge out," Janeway said, turning towards Harry. "Ensign Kim can you pin point the source of the dampening field?"

"It appears to be coming from two one seven mark zero one five, distance five hundred and forty seven meters."

"Tuvok, what would happen if we locked phasers and fired at the source?"

"The walls of the chamber reflect directed energy. The phaser beam would ricochet along an unpredictable path, possibly impacting with our ship in the process."

"Alright, we won't try that."

Tom grinned at conn. Janeway's dry sense of humor was unlike anything he had seen in a Starfleet captain. She's in a class all her own.

"Maybe we should," Chakotay spoke up. "What would happen if we the phaser power to a minimum setting and sent out a continuous beam?"

"The phaser would continue to reflect off of the bulkheads until it encountered a non reflective material," Tuvok answered.

"Like the real alien ship," Chakotay replied.

Tom was intrigued. On paper it sounded like a good idea, and he realized it was the only one they had at this point.

"We'd be using the phaser's like a search light, scan the interior of the station until we find the alien ship," Janeway conversed.

"Exactly."

"Do it."

The phaser beam shot forth from the bow of the ship and soon created a tangled web of orange throughout the chamber bouncing off each of the reflected ships. Tuvok adjusted the phaser's so they wouldn't be harmful to Voyager if they managed to find their ship before the alien one.

"Wait a minute," Harry called out, "I think I've found the real ship."

"On screen."

The image on the viewscreen changed before him and Tom was looking at the alien ship with a phaser beam not reflecting off of it. The idea had actually worked. That was easy.

"Mister Paris bring us within transporter range of that ship."

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm picking up two life signs," Harry said.

Tuvok gave a brief report next. "The alien ship is powering up engines."

"Bridge to transporter room three, lock onto those two life signs and beam them aboard."

Tom saw Janeway move swiftly across the bridge and enter the turbo lift with Sarah and Tuvok. He almost pitied them, having to make first contact under situations like this, of course Sarah had dealt with the Borg, and certainly this was a walk in the park compared to that.

Well, maybe. Janeway was not going to be happy that these aliens had led them on a chase and attacked one of her crewmen. He had only been on this ship a month and already he had seen her temper. Sarah was not only going to have the job of first contact she was going to have the job of calming Janeway down to make a good first contact. Good first contact? How can it be good when they've already hurt one our crewmen? It's already gotten off on a bad foot.

"Tom, where's Mama?"

He looked up to see that Michael had now rejoined them on the bridge and with a rather cranky looking Ava. Guess who just woke up. "She went to the transporter room to get Neelix's lungs back. We beamed the aliens who took them on board."

"We found the alien's ship? And brought the aliens on board?"

"We did."

The boy looked worried. "Tom, they aren't going to hurt Mama are they? What if they want her lungs too?"

Tom blinked, noticing the glare that Chakotay gave him. Right, the kid is five, too much information. "Uh, well she took Commander Tuvok with her, and some security. They had phasers. I'm sure she'll be fine—,"

"But Neelix had a phaser too! It's standard procedure to bring a phaser on an away mission! And that didn't stop them from taking his lungs!" Michael gasped, fretful tears streaming down his cheeks.

What the hell have I done? He looked towards Chakotay for help, but the first officer shook his head, as if to tell him he had to get himself out of this mess. "Michael, listen, stop crying. Everything will be fine, promise."

This only seemed to make the boy cry harder, which made Ava start to cry and garner looks from the whole bridge crew his way. Tom felt like crawling into a hole and hiding for hours. Even more so when Michael wailed, "That's what Mama said when we hadn't heard from Daddy in three days! And he didn't come home!"

Tom felt his heart drop. He couldn't imagine what it had been like for the boy, who had been only three at the time, to lose his father. It must have been harder on Janeway trying to comfort him. But Janeway didn't have the option that Tom had now, glancing at Chakotay briefly, he called out, "Computer locate Captain Janeway."

#star trek voyager #star trek voyager fanfiction #janeway x chakotay #kathryn janeway #chakotay #tom paris #sarah barrett (oc)#harry kim #b'elanna torres #neelix #tuvok #kes #the doctor (emh)#tom paris x ofc #this way became my journey

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angsty-violet · 4 years

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Agony - Chapter 16

Agony Masterpost

@whumptober2020

Tuvok immediately knew that the day was different. Kell’an had been acting different since he had been branded. He talked to him more, chatted about various parts of his life. He had become more open and began to show affection towards him in odd ways. It seemed that his claim on Tuvok had made him more protective. That and the fact that Tuvok had made it further than any of the others.

Kell’an had been visiting regularly, although it had almost begun to feel perfunctory when he tortured Tuvok. The time that seemed to most satisfy him was when they were talking. Therefore, most of the time, he was almost robotic with his tortures. Using the same ones over and over again in different ways. There was none of the same glee and excitement behind his actions.

However, this time when he entered, the grin on his face was pure joy. He was dragging someone else behind him. Tuvok knew right off the bat that it was one of Kell’an’s own people. He shared the exact same physical features as Kell’an and even bore a resemblance in the way their scales shown in the light. Tuvok hadn’t met any others yet, but he was confident that Kell’an’s people had no idea what he was doing.

If they did, they either couldn’t find where he was keeping his victims, or he was someplace they couldn’t get to. Being denied by the Science Academy was enough to know that they didn’t approve of his methods or of his research. That was likely why both Tuvok and Reinchaln had been other species than his own. There wouldn’t be Kell’an’s own people looking for them.

Kell’an tossed the being to the ground and smiled at them both. “I have to say that this was an amazing idea. Tuvok, you reacted most strongly when there was another involved. You place the lives of others before your own. So, as part of our own going experiment, the two of you are going to decide. One of you will be tortured. One of you will be blindfolded and let go. You have an hour, get talking.”

Tuvok helped the alien sit up against the wall. “My name is Tuvok.”

“I’m Verant. We need to talk about how and why you are here. First, however, I will be the one that remains. You are the one that needs to leave and go get help.”

Tuvok could immediately see why Kell’an had thrown the two of them together. “I can not in good conscience nor in logical thought, allow you to remain here. You are from this planet, you are aware of the terrain, and you are more likely to remember where we have been taken. More than that, should you seek help, they are more likely to believe one of their own kind rather than a strange alien. Logically, the person who has the best chance of actually retrieving help should be the one to leave. I have been here for a while now. I can assure you that I will survive a while longer. He doesn’t plan to kill me; I cannot say the same for you.”

“No, will not allow you to remain here a moment longer if possible. I am responsible for the safety of people, and I can’t let you remain in an unsafe situation.”

“Please, Verant, you must listen to me. He will not spare you. Kell’an has a plan for me that involves keeping me alive. While I am still around, he will not focus on anyone else. His entire focus is on me. That means that this is all just a head trip against me; you don't even matter to him. He wants to either force me to choose my own freedom over your life or to choose to remain with him. Neither of them are good ideas, but he isn’t going to let me go either way. Please, you need to do this. If you really want to save me, you must.”

Verant looked at him uncertainly. The alien turned his head away and sighed. Tuvok was near to the point of getting on his knees. He figured that if his begging hadn’t already sent him over to where he needed to be, nothing would. Verant turned to him and sighed lightly.

“Crew, this is the Captain. I am once again speaking to you about a matter of great importance. All of you know about our search for Tuvok. We have discovered the origins of the buoy. It is precisely the place that Reinchaln had said it would be. We are only a week away. We have seven days to get the ship in shape. Once again, I am informing you that you may speak out against this. However, I am very confident that if we continue, we will find our missing comrade. You may speak now or privately later. So far, not a soul has spoken out against it.

“I find this very heartening from my crew. As many of you are aware, Tuvok has, in the past, done the same for several of us. Continued even when logic itself dictated that he shouldn’t turn back. However, it is not just his life on the line. It is all of ours. Please, think, but if you feel this is worthwhile, we must finish our repairs.”

There was no dissension from anyone, so Janeway turned off the communicator. For a few moments, it was quiet on the bridge. There was only the sound of people going about their jobs. Then Chakotay spoke up from where he had been sitting quietly.

“I don’t know if I speak for everyone Captain, but I can assure you that I and many others would be more than willing to risk our lives for the chance of retrieving Tuvok. He is more than just a tactical officer or a Lieutenant. He is our friend and our comrade. He had stood with us through some of the worst challenges imaginable, and he has held firm the entire time. I don’t believe we would’ve gotten nearly as far as we did without him. We would go to the ends of the universe for him.”

There was a chorus of agreeing noises from several of the other people on the bridge, and Janeway felt a proud smile touch her lips. She didn’t believe there was another crew anywhere in the universe as loyal and good as hers.

#whumptober2020 #no.16 #forced to beg #star trek voyager #fic #torture #hostage #mind tricks #protective crew #hurt tuvok

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divinemissem13 · 1 year

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Always a Bridesmaid - Chapter 2

Flufftober, day 10 - Love of my life Fandom - Star Trek VOY, PIC Ship - Beverly Crusher/ Kathryn Janeway

AO3 link

It was a beautiful wedding.

Jean-Luc looked so handsome in his white tuxedo, smile beaming and eyes aglow as he watched eagerly for his bride to appear. Beverly had always imagined him standing at the altar, fidgeting nervously and repeatedly clearing his throat as he awaited his bride. But in those imagined situations, she had been the bride, not Laris. And of course Jean-Luc would have been nervous, and she would have been too, because although they loved each other deeply they never were meant to be husband and wife.

Beverly knew this to be true now, because as she walked down the aisle on Jack’s arm, her eyes were drawn past the groom to the officiant: her Kathryn, radiant, even in that potato sack of a dress uniform. Radiant in anything, really, and also in nothing, because her radiance came from somewhere inside - from a light that only Beverly could see because it shone just for her. She’d never seen anything like it before, not from Jean-Luc, not even from the first Jack Crusher. The only thing that even came close was the lights that shone from her sons’ eyes when they were newborns and she was their entire world. Those lights faded, though, naturally over time as they grew and their worlds expanded.

But Kathryn’s light… If anything, it grew brighter and stronger with each passing day - each passing moment. She was sure that Kathryn could see it too, from the way that her eyes sometimes crinkled when she looked at Beverly, as if she were looking into the sun. And this is how Beverly knew, beyond any doubt, that she and Kathryn are meant to be together.

They’ve never talked about it, but Beverly never thought they needed to. But then Kathryn had asked her if she was happy to be with her instead of with Jean-Luc.

Jean-Luc who? Beverly thought with an amused smile as she took her place behind the man in question. She caught Kathryn’s eye over his shoulder and, her back to the crowd, she blew a kiss and mouthed the words I love you. Kathryn pressed her lips together to stifle a grin and she rolled her eyes at Beverly who knew that this reaction meant ‘I love you too, but I’m working, dear.” It was an expression she was intimately familiar with because Beverly was always trying to put cracks in that admiral’s mask of hers.

The guests stood as Laris entered, wearing a traditional Romulan-style wedding dress in a deep shade of plum. The color was customary for second marriages, apparently, but Beverly couldn’t help but note how it resembled the color of the vineyard grapes surrounding them. Almost like it was meant to be.

Beverly glanced at Jean-Luc and smiled at the absolutely besotted look on his face as he watched his wife-to-be approach. She was certain he had never looked at her like that. But then, she hadn’t ever looked at him like that either.

Funny how something can feel so right until something better comes along. Beverly knew better now. And she knew that, for her, it didn’t get better than Kathryn Janeway. As the bride and groom took their vows, Beverly made a vow to herself that she would make sure Kathryn knew that too. Every day, for the rest of their lives.

#flufftober2023 #flufftober 2023 #day 10 #love of my life #beverly crusher/ kathryn janeway #chapter 2 #fluffy fluff #femslash #soulmates #fanfic #ao3 link #i wrote this

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noona-clock · 6 years

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Please Come Home for Christmas 🙏

Genre: Star Trek!AU

Pairing: Jae x You

By Admin B

Bells will be ringing the sad, sad news Oh, what a Christmas to have the blues My baby's gone, I have no friends To wish me greetings once again

Jae nodded at the man outside of the grocery store, shoving his hands in his coat pockets and wordlessly walking right past him, in through the sliding doors.

Those bell-ringers had been around for centuries, apparently, and if history was to be believed, about as many people ignored them now as they did back then.

Personally, Jae just couldn’t stand the sound of those jingle bells. Not this year, anyway.

Because you were gone. You’d been on assignment on the USS Billings for almost eight months now, and you wouldn’t be back on Earth for another four or five.

And, as it turned out, almost everyone Jae knew was either in another country visiting family or on another planet for whatever reason.

(gif by @cramelot)

So here he was. Alone at Christmas time. And it sucked.

He would never blame you, of course, because Star Fleet was your job. Not only that, it was your dream. It had been before the two of you met, and it would probably always be.

You assured him over and over that he was also your dream, a new one you’d acquired not too long after meeting him and realizing how special he was. But when you’d learned from Commander Janeway that the USS Billings would be going out to explore moon volcanoes... you hadn’t been able to resist. Even though it meant a little over a year away from Jae, the love of your life.

He had promised you multiple times he would be fine. He would miss you like crazy, but he would be fine knowing you were doing what you loved, what made you happy.

But, still. Those jingle bells were really starting to depress him. Maybe he would be fine again once Christmas was over, but... right now, he kind of wasn’t.

Choirs will be singing Silent Night Christmas carols by candlelight Please come home for Christmas Please come home for Christmas If not for Christmas, by New Year's night

The longest, most exhausted sounding sigh escaped Jae’s lips as he plopped down onto the couch. He’d finished putting all the groceries away (it really was no fun going grocery shopping by and for yourself), and he could now enjoy the ready-made Cardassian Zabu stew he’d just purchased.

“All right, what’ve we got tonight?” he murmured to himself before saying, “Computer, turn the television on.”

The last thing Jae watched on TV was the morning news, so the television turned on to one of the major networks. Tonight, apparently, they were airing a Christmas special.

Great. Just what Jae needed to get his mind off the fact he was completely and entirely alone for Christmas.

Before he could change the channel, though, a choir began singing ‘Silent Night.’

Oh, god. This was your favorite Christmas carol.

You were completely tone deaf so you couldn’t sing it in the least, but you made Jae sing it. And you always sat there and listened with the most adoring gaze, a soft smile pulling at your lips. No matter how many times he sang it for you, it never seemed to get old.

The choir on TV were singing an acapella version, all of them holding hologram candles and singing with such emotion.

Emotion that Jae could definitely feel.

I mean, he felt emotion on a regular basis, of course. But you know what I mean.

Why couldn’t you just come home for Christmas? Just one day? Or even New Year’s?! If he could have one day with you for the holiday season, he knew that would be enough to help him get through it.

Friends and relations send salutations Sure as the stars shine above This is Christmas, yeah, Christmas, my dear The time of year to be with the one you love

“Computer, check the mail,” Jae requested once the front door closed behind him.

That was one thing he’d had to get used to after you’d left.

Usually, you were home from work before him, so you’d already gone through the mail by the time he arrived. If there was anything for him, you’d let him know, and he would go in and look himself.

It had taken him at least three weeks to remember to check the mail every day right when he walked in the door. And even then, he still forgot sometimes.

It was truly the little things like that he missed the most. The things he took for granted like you checking the mail.

The computer pulled up a hologram screen and showed a couple of bills, some junk mail, and... about three Christmas greeting cards. One from his aunt and uncle who now lived on Bajor, one from your college roommate over in South Africa, and one from your dentist.

Okay, so that last card didn’t quite pull at his heartstrings, but still. Just the fact he was receiving Christmas cards, and you weren’t here to look at them...

I mean, it’s not like he expected people to not send him cards. You were on a Starship in the Beta Quadrant; you were still alive, thank God. It was a very normal thing to do. The two of you had sent out your own Christmas card last year, and while Jae had been tempted to just send the same one again, he’d finally decided not to. He just wasn’t feeling it this year, so why pretend?

He didn’t want to make it seem like he was spending the holiday with the one he loved when he actually wasn’t. He shouldn’t have to act like everything was fine when it actually wasn’t.

It really just do be like that sometimes.

So won't you tell me you'll never more roam Christmas and New Years will find you home Please come home for Christmas Please come home for Christmas If not for Christmas, by New Year's night

Right after he paid the bills which had come through in the mail, another hologram screen popped up over the kitchen counter.

Incoming Call from the USS Billings

Jae’s heart started to race, and he said, “Computer, answer call,” immediately.

Your smiling face appeared, and he was instantly relieved to know it wasn’t a call from your Captain or from the Chief Medical Officer.

“Hey, you,” you greeted. “I’m sorry I haven’t called in a few days, it got a little rocky up here.”

“Everything’s okay?” Jae asked with raised eyebrows.

“It is now,” you explained. “A few people got hurt on an away mission a couple days ago, but I think everything’s settled down now.”

Jae couldn’t stop himself from letting out a little sigh of relief. He was sorry anyone had gotten hurt, but he was glad it hadn’t been you.

The two of you got to talking, filling each other in on what had been going on... but then you suddenly furrowed your brow.

“Are you okay?” you asked gently.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Jae replied automatically.

But, obviously, you didn’t believe him. You knew him well enough to know when he wasn’t “good.”

“What’s wrong?” you urged.

Jae’s gaze flitted off to the side, and his jaw clenched slightly. He’d wanted to put up a good front for you since there was literally nothing you could do about it, but...

“I just... miss you.”

You let out a soft sigh, the expression on your face turning into one of complete guilt and concern and anxiety and sorrow.

“I miss you, too,” you assured him. “You don’t know how often I think about you... worry about you.”

“I bet I do know because I think and worry about you just as much.”

A soft, sad smile tugged at your lips. “The mission is more than halfway over. I’ll be home before you know it.”

“I know,” Jae sighed. “It’s just... Christmas. It’s lonelier than I thought it would be.”

You pressed your lips together in a thin line, and now it was your turn to look off to the side of the hologram camera.

“No, baby,” Jae said quickly, now feeling terrible that he was about to make you cry. “I’m sorry, I didn’t --”

“If I could be there on Christmas Day, I would,” you choked out. “In a heartbeat.”

“I know, baby. I’m not blaming you. I’m not even upset with you, it just --”

“Sucks.”

“...Yeah.”

A heavy silence filled the room for a few moments, but you broke it by taking a deep breath in.

“I’ll call you on Christmas, okay? I’ll call you whenever I can. We probably won’t get much done on here, anyway, since I know I’m not the only one missing their family.”

Even though Jae’s expression had been utterly solemn, the words which had just left your lips had brought a smile to his face.

One word, in particular, actually.

Family.

You’d called him your family, even though you two were technically still just dating.

He wasn’t really sure why this made his heart soar, but it did, and he was going to try and ride it out for as long as he could.

“Okay,” he nodded, feeling more optimistic than he had in a while. But he shouldn’t be surprised. It was you, after all. “I’ll be here. But don’t worry if you don’t get a chance. I understand.”

“I know you do,” you gushed. “That’s why you’re so amazing. But, trust me, I will call you. No matter what.”

There'll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain And I'll be happy, happy once again

Did Jae feel absolutely, totally, 100% better when he hung up? No.

His heart still ached for you. He still wished he wasn’t alone on Christmas. He knew he would be so much happier when you got home, safe and sound.

But he would get through it. Because he had no other choice. That’s just how life was: it has its ups and downs, and sometimes the only thing you can do during the downs is to just get through it. Keep on living life day-to-day and hold onto the hope things would get better.

And, sometimes, those downs just happened to be during Christmas.

Like I said, it really just do be like that sometimes.

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hamiltontrashy88-archive · 6 years

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9 months part two

Pairing: poly hamilsquad x reader

Summary: After a wild night, Y\n's life changes forever.

Part 2: Surprises.

Tags: @winchesters-and-janeways

A\N: part 2 of my mini series. I love this series with all my heart. Fair warning, there is some google translated French in this.

Three weeks had passed when you found you were pregnant. A week after you had visited your doctor who confirmed that you were indeed pregnant. After that, you came up with ways to surprise your husbands. You decided you wanted to surprise them individually.

Alex was first. The both of you had a lunch date for the fun of it. But little did Alex know that he was gonna receive the best news of his life.

The two of you arrived at the restaurant and took a seat near the back. You both chatted while you ate. It wasn't until you had ordered dessert that you dropped the news on him. "Alex, before we get dessert, I actually have a gift for you." You said with a grin. Rooting around in your purse, you pulled out the small box and handed to him. "Thanks darling." He smiled a started to pull away at the wrapping paper. When there was only a white box left, he paused. "I want to guess what it is." He said. You smiled and went along with it. "Is it a watch?" He asked. You shook your head. "Is it a new pen?" He asked. "Nope." You said. "Is it a key to a brand new Lamborghini sitting outside this restaurant?" He joked. "No." You laughed. "Welp I'm out of ideas." You rolled your eyes and insisted he open the box.

Alex lifted off the lid of the tiny box and picked up the object in the box. He examined it closely. "What is this?" He asked, puzzled. "Why don't you read what it says." You suggested. He looked at the little screen. His eyes widened. He looked to you and then back to the the test. You could see tears start to fill his eyes. "A-are you p-pregnant?" He stuttered out, tears already falling down his cheeks. You felt tears well up in your eyes as well as you nodded excitedly. Alex dropped the test and ran to you and pulled you into a tight embrace. You buried your face in his neck. You felt your shoulder getting wet as he weeped happily. "Oh my god, how long have you known?" He asked as he pulled away. "Three weeks." You explained as you wiped your eyes. "Oh, love. I love you so much." He exclaimed and kissed your lips happily. You looked at him lovingly. "Ok, now that you know, you have to promise not to tell the others. I have surprises ready for them as well." You explained. He nodded and kissed you. "Of course, love."

John was next. You and him were home alone. Alex and the others had gone shopping for the week, leaving the two of you alone. Which was perfect for you.

When John wasn't looking, you snuck into the kitchen and placed a bread bun in the oven. After that you rushed back to the living room where the two of you were hanging out. "What were you doing babe?" He asked. "Oh, I thought I'd cook something for us to eat while we watch this movie." You explained simply. He shrugged his shoulders and continued watching the movie.

Around thirty minutes later, you asked him if he could check on the food. "Sure thing, babe." He stood up from the couch and walked into the kitchen. You watched as he opened the oven. A look of confusion washed over his face. "Y\n, what is this?" He asked. You smiled and shrugged your shoulders. "I don't know. What is it?" You asked. "It's like a roll or a bun." He explained. "Where did it come from?" You asked. "It was in the ove-" John fell silent as realization washed over him. "What is it?" You asked again, a wide grin plastered on your a face. "A bun in the oven." John said quietly. His eyes widened and he stared deeply at you. "Are you pregnant?" He asked. You nodded. John's face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Yes!!" He shouted. You laughed as he jumped up and down and ran around the house screaming the entire time.

Eventually, he collapsed on the couch next to you. "Oh my god, are you really having a baby?" He asked. You nodded. "Yes. You're gonna be a dad." You said happily. John pulled you into a tight hug. "I'm gonna be a dad." He whispered. "Yup. And hey, don't tell Laf and Herc. I have surprises for them as well." You told him. "Of course, babydoll."

Next was Laf. Your surprise to him was unique. You had planed to tell him in French. And that's what you planned on doing. You were picking Laf up from work. You watched as he stepped into the car and put on his seatbelt. "Laf, can I tell you something?" You asked. "Of course, Mon lapin. What is that you want to say." He asked.

You cleared your throat. "Mon doux amour, je voulais vous dire que vous allez être père. Je suis enceinte et je vais avoir un bébé. Es-tu heureux?" You finished. Laf stared at you wide-eyed and his jaw dropped. You saw tears form his eyes. "You really are?" He asked. "Oui." You said happily. He reached over and hugged you. "I'm going to be a papa." He cried. "Yes you are."

Herc was last. And surprisingly it was his birthday. So you got him the perfect gift. You were all at home and herc was opening his presents. Your present was last. Once all the other gifts were opened, you handed Herc your gift.

"Ooh bonus gift." Herc smiled. "Open it." Alex insisted. Herc smiled and ripped the wrapping paper away. He began to open the box. "It's a shirt." He said as he pulled it out. "What's it say on the front?" John asked with a smirk. Herc flipped the shirt around and read it aloud. "The guy is going to be a d- Oh my god!" Herc didn't even finish his sentence before screaming with joy. He jumped up from the couch and did a happy dance. He then ran over to you and pulled you into a hug. "Are you for real?!" He asked excitedly. "Yes! It's true." You told him. Herc screamed more. "Now you all know." You said with a grin. "And we have never been happier, darling." Alex smiled. All of your boys then hugged you tight. All suspicions of them not wanting a child had long been cleared from your mind. You knew they wanted this child and that they were going to support you and love you throughout this whole thing.

A\N: Whoo boy this literally took me all day to write. But I hope you all enjoyed it. If you want to be tagged for future parts just ask.

#hamilton #alexander hamilton #john laurens #hercules mulligan #lafayette #hamilton musical #marquis de lafayette #poly hamilsquad x reader #poly hamilsquad #alexander hamilton x reader #john laurens x reader #hercules mulligan x reader #lafayette x reader #mini series #fluff #9 months

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starfleetdoesntfirefirst · 6 years

Text

Lieutenant Philippa Georgiou!

- [SHORT TREKS SPOILERS]

- okay let’s discuss

- I watched it this morning and my primary emotion is still just !!!!!

- PHILIPPA PILOTING THE SHN-03 SHUTTLE DOWN FROM THE SHENZHOU

- Before I really get into in-universe Philippa meta, I admit my overall out-of-universe feelings on the episode aren’t very good.

- Portraying a colonized people as ‘not questioning the way of things’ and going willingly to be killed by their oppressors reminded me of a lot of deeply awful racist and colonial tropes.

- While it might be possible for Star Trek to create a story that included some of the elements that were used in The Brightest Star and still tell it in a nuanced and respectful way, there wasn’t enough time for much nuance here, nor much effort made to include nuance and respect in the time they had.

- Overall I was not very comfortable with the story, and I think it would require a lot more nuance and care to tell a meaningful and respectful story about colonization and oppression. I won't be able to address those issues with the nuance they deserve this one quick post-ep characterization chatter post, either, but I wanted to at least touch on them.

- SO

- PHILIPPA

- First, what I wasn’t a fan of: Given the above, I really didn’t like the emphasis in Philippa’s lines about Saru being special and different and (though she didn’t put it this way) ‘more advanced’ than the rest of his people; it was gross and played into really awful tropes.

- Moving on to things I did like!

- Philippa piloting (or co-piloting; I’m dying to know whether there was another servicemember in the shuttle with her) a Shenzhou shuttle! <3

- Actual portrayal of the universal translator in use, a la Star Trek Beyond!

- The amount of nuance and emotion that Michelle Yeoh can communicate in any given facial expression, as always, absolutely floored me. There’s so much going on in her face and eyes as she’s first talking to Saru; she starts with a a mix of professionalism/efficiency, sympathy, pain on his behalf, and wonder/delight to be talking with him; then, when she delivers the terrible news, and he turns away to make his decision, there’s a moment of quiet but absolute devastation—I feel like this is a time when it isn’t an assumption to say ‘this good-aligned fictional character clearly does feel terrible for the awful thing they’re participating in’—for a moment before she watches tensely to see what his decision will be. Then, when he chooses, her smile is so genuinely delighted and relieved while also still showing sympathy, solemnity and pain.

- I love the confirmation of the impression I think a lot of us had that Philippa is a principled person working within a flawed organization. The Starfleet we see in Discovery is strongly suggestive of an organization that was quietly at war with itself long before the Klingon war began, with a mixture of the people like Georgiou and Connor and presumably many other personnel like them, who believe in upholding a certain set of Starfleet principles, and then the Section 31 officers we see on the Discovery, admirals who made Burnham a fall girl for a war she didn’t start, supercilious leaders like Admiral Anderson, etc. It lends fascinating weight to Burnham’s assertions at the end of the series about how “this is who we are”—was Starfleet already building toward the kind of reckoning with itself that the war then forced? And it raises so many questions about what Philippa’s Starfleet backstory is like. We already knew she was a war veteran; a soldier and a diplomat who had fought in space battles. Now we have confirmation that she fought diplomatic battles within her own organization as well.

- I love that she fought for Saru—there’s obviously a hell of a story there.

- And that it was Philippa specifically who was the one space IMing with him the whole time!

- Philippa having a science badge was a little ??? to me. Novel canon says she used to be a field medic, and imo, the onscreen lines about her being a diplomat and a soldier at least somewhat suggested that she’d started out as security track or something similar (in addition to the MICHELLE YEOH, PROFESSIONAL BADASS factor).

- (I admit I may be a little biased here since Philippa starting as a security officer is a beloved headcanon of mine, and I’m also always a little salty over the trend within sci-fi of “women = scientists,” rather than pilots, engineers, fighters, etc. (Of course, criticizing those trends can also be a double-edged sword, as it is also not great to imply that women in very (very) slightly more traditionally feminine professions can’t be tough badasses too.) Anyway, it’s certainly not my hill to die on, plus if I’m not a fan of the idea of Georgiou in science division I can always headcanon that she was only wearing a science uniform as part of a step in a convoluted scheme to convince her superiors to let her reach Saru. ;)

- the Entirely New Piece of Canon Information that I found most fascinating was that Philippa was stationed on the Shenzhou before she became captain! It was clearly a very deliberate choice to show a “SHN” shuttle.

- And not only do we now know she served on on the Shenzhou prior to reaching the captaincy, we know she was there for a number of years; when Michael joins the crew seven years before the beginning of DSC, Philippa is captain and Saru is on the bridge crew, and here she’s a Lieutenant and he’s joining Starfleet, so I think we can safely assume this takes place somewhere in the vicinity of 2-10 years before that.

- Also, if she became a captain 2-10 years before she met Michael (and personally I’m erring on the side of ‘this episode takes place longer rather than sooner before he show, so she’s a lieutenant in her late thirties/early forties and becomes a captain not long after that’), and she still comes up in Saru’s space google search of the most decorated captains, that means that either

a) Saru’s space google search terms pulled up the captains who were ‘most successful’ over the course of their careers, and so Philippa was a fucking badass throughout her career before making captain

b) In the space of just 9-17 years as a captain she was so ridiculously badass and heroic that she made the ‘all time best captains’ list

...or both.

- Which DELIGHTS me.

- The parallel between Philippa spreading her arm to invite Saru into the shuttle and into Starfleet and spreading her arm to invite Michael onto the bridge and into Starfleet: poetic cinema

- HER HAIR

- Philippa having an elaborate updo: definitely evidence that was Janeway inspired by the DSC characters and wanted to emulate Captain Georgiou with her own elaborate updo ;)

- I’ve only scratched the surface here and only really touched on meta on stuff we actually saw and barely got into HEADCANONS HEADCANONS HEADCANONS building off of said stuff and I would give anything to hear everyone’s thoughts!

#philippa georgiou #discovery spoilers #star trek discovery spoilers #the brightest star spoilers #short treks spoilers #spoilers #racism #colonialiam #meta

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