#Jensen will not give us reciprocated Destiel but maybe he can actually give us Dean and Cas' relationship being treated with respect???????

[drulalovescas]

THINGS JENSEN ROSS ACKLES SAID SINCE SUPERNATURAL ENDED (paraphrasing):

CROSSROADS 6:

The advice season 15 Dean would give season 4 Dean: appreciate Cas more. Because he'd prove to be the best friend and biggest ally.

JIB 11:

I hope we will get a chance to see that [Dean and Cas' reunion]. I think it would look like we all hope it would. There would be an embrace and then Dean would be like: Can we talk about that goodbye for a minute?

SPNVAN 2022:

I didn’t say anything - I didn’t give him anything. And what I had in my head was, I should have said "I love you too” and hugged him.

NASHVILLE 2023:

Dean's biggest regret was that he couldn't save Cas.

[dirigibleplumbing]

So, for Destiel, Dean not really dating or even hooking up that often in the later seasons works well for the whole “he's both pining for but also emotional fulfilled by Cas so he doesn’t feel the need”, but like, why do you think they actually just stopped even trying to give Dean a real love interest? The closest they came was kinda Amara? Was it the writers wanting to show Dean's too old for hook ups to “damaged” for romance post Lisa? Jensen didn’t wanna do so many hook up/kissing scenes? They only have so much character time and actor budget they'd rather have Jensen interact with Misha and the other regulars?

(Sam and Cas not sharing storylines makes sense due to how long those scenes would take thanks to Jared fucking with Misha and that time and character is better spent with putting Misha with Jensen or Alex lol)

Sam still had a few love interests (Eileen of course, could make the case for Rowena), tho maybe less after the backlash over the season 8 love storyline? I know the writers were of course aware of Destiel (duh) but I'm not so in deep that the popularity of the pairing vs the General Audience (GA)'s tastes would mean they only catered to the fannish side with Dean's storylines. I think Lisa was liked well enough vs how bad Amelia was disliked so I don’t think Dean not having a love interest was due to a backlash from the GA…perhaps just the taste of the new show runners? That the official romances in the show aren’t really loved by the GA so why bother? But it would give an excuse for letting at least one of the two leads have a break by having scenes apart during the romance plot line, but again perhaps they’d rather use the showtime and actor budget to have both leads take a break with adding more Jack and Cas stories.

(Metatextually it’s amusing to think of Chuck trying to get his Ladykiller main character to go bed some babes and fall for someone before Dean’s tragically killed off, only for Dean to pine and mourn for his dead angel BFF so Chuck kept bringing him back so Dean would stop being sad to get back to smooching ladies, only for Dean to accidentally fall into an almost asexual romance with said BFF and he slips into this frozen state of not getting any nor looking for any cause this is almost enough*. And now Chuck can’t get rid of the BFF or else his main character just stops functioning and it’s BORING)

You could also argue the addition of Mary and Jack is kinda a “love story” for Dean, tho for familial love rather then romantic, that Dean's emotion arcs were taken up by a “Mother and Son” and a “Son becoming his Father to his Son” storyline rather then a romance or rehashing more brother drama and poor Charlie got the “bonding then fridging” storyline with Dean as a platonic relationship rather then the usual romantic on on this show.

(And we can also totally see Cas, Crowley, and Benny fulfill the quasi romantic tropes in canon with Dean but again in the GA eyes it was platonic emotional arcs rather then romantic ones)**

*I can see Dean and Cas being in basically an unofficial Queer Platonic relationship pre-confession in canon, just 2 confirmed bachelors etc etc. Or even post confessions they could wiggle out of it by No-Homoing it as “oh yeah Cas loves Dean but doesn’t want sex and Dean's cool with it besties for life also you will never see him kiss or try and hook up with any women ever again ❤️ (except once because the network made us to truly no Homo Dean)” if they had to make a season 16 and the network is like no Dean can’t kiss the angel lol. (Apparently the network even said no the giving Cas a non Dean boyfriend storyline so they would totally stamp on any official reciprocation from Dean)

** how would you trope-ify and sort Benny, Crowley, and Cas as “standard” romantic interests? Benny=the love interest ur family doesn’t approve of for historical reason but they are drawn together anyway only to depart tragically? Kinda a Juliet-ish without Romeo dying? Boy from the rival school/visiting from out of state you have summer fling with and part knowing you’re lives are going in different directions? Crowley is the reformed Bad Boy, the rival to the central Love Interest that changes for the protagonist but doesn’t “get the girl (gender neutral)”/Redemption=Death? And Cas?

Cas is… oh boy. Uneasy Allies -> Allies -> Enemies -> Comrades -> War Buddies -> Fire Forged Friends -> Estranged Friends -> Betrayer -> Enemies -> Lost Love -> Uneasy Allies -> re- Fire Forged Friends -> Lost Love (again) -> Besties/Found Family -> Brainwashed Ally ->… Maybe as a “Long running show's long term Love Interest that can be concluded until the finale due to a fear of “Moonlighting” so there are increasingly convoluted reasons they can’t be together yet” lol

I have never once watched Supernatural as it aired, and wasn't active in fandom until November 2020, so I'm not really up to date on what's been stated or not stated by the writers, showrunners, directors, etc., nor what the common fantheories are about their motivations or intentions. 

I've read some general meta on the subject and people talking about particular writers and how they viewed various aspects on the show, but I mostly can't keep the writers' names straight in my head.

All to say: my takes are based mostly on vibes and notions I have about how writing and TV production works. 

The longer the show went on, the more it departed from the original monster of the week format. To the extent there were still cases, the week-to-week ones increasingly tended to be in service to a bigger mytharc, and less time was devoted to them onscreen. 

There are certain scenarios we'd seen so many times at that point--Sam interviews a MILF; Dean wears a costume; research happens; the monster is misidentified at first; they talk their way into the morgue/station/records room/security room; we meet a red herring for the killer/monster; etc.--that they could be abbreviated or skipped entirely in favor of recurring characters, characters who directly echo one or more of the main characters and their current acts, and the latest angst about the current mytharc. 

I think at a certain point, "Dean hooks up with a hottie" was, to an extent, likewise considered superfluous. 

Some of The Powers That Be undoubtedly noticed that Cas could fulfill the dialogue roles Dean's hookups used to. Plus, absolutely, everything you're saying about Mary and Jack--non-romantic partnerships, not just his “friendship” with Cas, often replaced that kind of narrative. 

Other TPTB figured viewers would assume that the hookups were still happening, only offscreen. And in classic spn fashion, I think TPTB hoped that by not mentioning the hookups as happening or not happening, they could have it both ways: shippers get to say Dean's not hooking up; anti-shippers get to say there's no evidence Dean's not not hooking up.

As for the metatextual aspect--yeah, that's pretty much how I see it, lol.

[barren-heart]

If you’re Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, or Jared Padalecki.

STOP.

Read this post.

Dear J2M,

This is an open letter for you three written by a couple of unhappy passionate fans.

We write this to you because we know at least one of you has a secret Stan account and creeps on the destiel hashtag from time to time. Don’t lie. (Ahem. Misha Collins. Looking at you, Sir.)

With the subtle hints and possibility of a revival, us here at BarrenHeart (Bee and Jay) have some thoughts on what we think a reboot/continuation/revival would look like if it was done well.

Note: we don’t speak for the whole fandom(obviously). And we don’t even speak for all of the Cas/destiel fans. This is from our observation of the fandom after 15x18 and the finale, plus our own opinions.

Here are our demands suggestions for the potential revival.

--Castiel--

First things first. Castiel is brought back.

And by that, we mean he is either shown to be rescued from the empty, Jack rescues him from the empty, or by some other means, that man is not left there to suffer for all of eternity.

Castiel is a lead character.

Not a guest star, not “and Misha Collins.” No. Misha Collins gets to be in every d*mn episode. He is an equal lead alongside Dean and Sam. Which leads into the next point.

Castiel gets his own storyline.

It can be connected to Dean in some way, but he needs his own arc, y’all. Don't care what that is, but he IS his own character. So, some form of personal growth or whatever needs to happen. He is a badass and deserves a good storyline. Also…

Give this M-- F-- (mother father) his wings back!

Yes, he died without ever having his wings return to their full power. Like? We know he was nerfed so he wouldn't overpower Sam and Dean. Prove to us that he can be a fully powered badass and still work alongside Sam and Dean. No need to get rid of that.

Human!Cas does not mean pathetic Cas.

There is a divide on whether Castiel should stay an angel. Personally, we like human Cas. However, human Cas was shafted in the series. If you make him human in any way, shape, or form, he’s gonna still have to be a badass. Don’t whimp him!

He can be a good hunter/pretend FBI agent just like Sam and Dean!

So, make him one! Let him do more cases. On his own. With other people. With Sam. With Dean. He can fight without powers, too.

Give him love!

For the love of freaking Jack, let that man know he is loved by people. Not even mentioning anything romantic, he still needs platonic love y’all. Let Sam say it, let Jack say it. Let anyone in his family tell him that he is loved. Not once in this series did Cas hear that anyone loved him. So, fix it!

New style, anyone?

Cas needs other clothes! Please now. The black trenchcoat we never saw in-show? Boss. Cas in a black leather jacket? Coolness. Hunter plaid? Do it.

Confession Resolution

Speaking of love, come to some conclusion please about him and Dean. Give a resolution somehow, somewhere. We personally don’t really care how it’s done, but there needs to be something said here. You cannot just drop a confession there and just leave like it never happened. So, talk about it.

Adding this, I swear, if this is bros only, you WILL lose Cas fans. So, think about what you’re doing.

--Sam--

Sam is important!

Now, personally we have a soft spot for Sam. His character arc in Season 1-5 was great. Demon blood, powerful Sam was amazing. So, don’t sideline Sam. Seriously. We are gonna say in an unpopular way (as if this post isn’t already unpopular to some), but Sam got sidelined real hard in the last few seasons of the show. Now, was that what Jared wanted? Don’t know. But, Sam needs his own storyline too that isn’t just revolved around Dean. Figure it out.

Witch!Sam

Speaking of which, let this man be powerful. Sam is best when he has powers. Sorry but also not. He has been given all of Rowena’s (who is arguably the best witch around) spell books and decides to not really do much with it? No. He’s becoming a BAMF witch. Full-out, no word spells and shit. End point.

Sam in Charge

He’s not just a baby brother. He’s a grown man. Give him room to grow. Allow him to be a leader. Let him lead a group of hunters, witches, a whole team of people! He’s strong on his own, too. He's a big boy. Prove it.

He should fall in love.

Like, get married and all that. It’s a part of his arc, so keep it there. No blurry wife, my god! Personally it should be Eileen. She’s a badass. They also have a lot in common! Holy hell. They make a good team. So, keep that suggestion in mind.

Let him have the hero’s journey.

We want a good ending that shows growth for this character! He saw himself as a freak with powers, so…maybe he can use his powers now in a way that in empowering instead? Let him have an ending that doesn't just return to the beginning. Let him have gone through all of this changed for the better.

Don't be creepy.

Still keep the brotherly bond with Dean, but don’t make it weird, y’all. Don’t. Please.

Sam as a dad.

He can have a kid. But, Dean Jr? Eh. You might want to reconsider some other (Bobby) possibilities.

--Dean--

Now, with Dean, I wanna make this clear.

DO NOT K word THIS MAN.

This man here has dealt with unbelievable trauma, suicidal thoughts and even almost died by suicide in the show (okay, it was for another reason, but still!) He dies way too many times in this show. It’s not new anymore. Perhaps, when the show was newer, death might have been a bittersweet ending. But, now. It’s tarnished. It happened too much and the message of “carry on” got tainted to mean “there is only peace when you die.” That’s not okay.

Resolve his issues!

He has so much pain and trauma. Let him seek help. Let your audience know that it’s okay to process these emotions. Let him heal. He deserves it.

Dean’s internal struggles

This is piggybacking a little off of point two, but Dean has a lot of things he needs to figure out. We feel like his journey is more internal. While processing his trauma, he needs to learn that it's okay to be himself. This could include things about himself that he feels ashamed of or scared to admit. Things he may have repressed or suppressed over time. No more hiding who he is or brushing it off or making jokes. Be your true self, Dean. It's time.

Dean’s still important, of course

That said, Dean should still be integral to the overall narrative of the plot. Of course he's gonna go head to head with the Big Bad of the season/limited series, but he really should focus on what's inside first before he can take this monster down.

The Bro bond

No more dependent/unhealthy bond with Sam. Of course they are family and brothers, and will always be close. That's perfectly fine. However, its important to note that Dean was Sam’s mom/Dad most of his whole life. And, well, that never came to a resolution. Please let Dean resolve this issue. Sam is grown and older now, and even though Dean will always feel protective of him as his Big brother, Dean shouldn't feel like his life only revolves around taking care of Sam. There is more to Dean and his life.

Dean is complex

Also, Dean is not only about cars, burgers, and pie. It's like some of the writers forgot this. There are so many things/interests of Dean’s that are really cool and add to the complexity of his character. Keep those things.

He needs to resolve his issue with Jack.

He never said sorry to the kid. Not once after telling Sam that Jack wasn't family. He needs to tell Jack he is loved.

Speaking of which, Dean needs to tell Cas he loves him.

Okay. Who knows if you will make destiel reciprocal at this point.

Do we think Dean would have reciprocated based on context clues and what we have seen in the show? Yes.

Do we think this love is romantic? Yes.

Do we think you'll actually fully make it canon in a reboot/continuation? Eh.

Regardless, Dean loves Cas, so make it known.

Other demands considerations.

‘The found family’ needs to not be forgotten.

All the friends that were made along the way need to be included. What happened with Garth was great, actually. Do more of that. And by that, we mean include Jody and Donna. What are the girls doing now? Wayward sisters anyone? Bring Kevin back. Don't leave him to roam the earth all along like that. Either make him human again like Eileen or send him to rest in Heaven.

Where’s Eileen?

Hello??? Where? Tell us she made it back.

Claire

No idea if you can get Kathryn Newton back, but it would be cool at least for one episode. Please. Kaia? Resolve her storyline.

Also, Charlie.

Wtf happened? That was not resolved. We love Felicia Day. Charlie’s friendship with Dean is amazing. She deserves a few episodes.

Crowley!

Seriously. What happened to Mark was super disappointing. You gotta bring him back. His death wasn't great. Bring him back and give him his damn line already!

Jack!

I'm not fully on the Baby!Jack train, but he does deserve a normal life. He's three years old technically. He had no normal life whatsoever. He deserves that. So, give him that.

More Rowena please!

That's it. She's awesome.

Have a wedding.

No, really. Someone's gotta get married. Our pick: Sam and Eileen. Charlie is also a good contender for having a wedding with her partner, too. So there. Weddings are happy. We want a happy ending.

I will reiterate. Team free will lives. That's it.

Okay. Now, moving on to the next part of this. The elephant in the room. The thing a lot of us actually want from this, but frankly, we aren't sure if you'll do it.

Explicit Destiel.

If you've read this far J2M, then you're probably wondering when this was going to be addressed. So, here are the stipulations on destiel.

Go big or go home.

Yep. We said it. Make it explicit, full out, no ambiguity.

Honestly, you might be thinking what you could do to make it explicitly canon? Well, since there were tons of people who still think Cas’ love confession was just a platonic exchange between two bros (like wtf? How?), you're gonna have to spell it out for people.

But, some things that we may perceive as romantic, some people may not.

--Like, holding hands could be considered platonic between two men to some people.

--Cheek kissing could also be considered platonic to some people.

Not to say we need Jensen and Misha doing full on *** scenes to prove anything, but something more than a hand hold. Okay? Okay.

What we’re saying is basically, you're gonna have to kiss. On the lips. Yep.

So...I guess you'll have to figure out how you want to do that.

On when to make it canon:

You can decide if it makes sense to make it canon towards the beginning or towards the end. Honestly, there could be an argument for either. If it's made canon earlier, you could prove there can be a relationship alongside the main storyline. If you wait until the end, you'll leave fans wondering if you'll actually do it. But, the kiss being the major event of the finale could be worth it. Whichever you do, remember there are upsides and downsides to both.

Other other considerations:

Just realize who your fanbase is now. We’ve grown and changed. Like Becky, your fans have gone through a huge change in what they want from the show. Is the fandom all on the same page? Nope. Will they ever be? No.

You will not please everyone. That's a given. But, a lot of fans want to see the show wrap up in a better way than what we got. Destiel fans aside, the finale was not great overall. There are plenty of negative finale reviews that have nothing to do with destiel.

On top of that, society is changing. Slowly. The attitudes in regards to lgbtq media is quite different than before. You have the chance to make history. Really. If you make this canon, that will be a part of your legacy. You'll hit the news. I mean, 15x18 wasn't even the finale and it trended #1 that day.

We suggest that if you do decide to make it canon, it’s meaningful and you take the time to do it right.

So, consider your fans. Consider the part of the fandom that trended your show over the election. Consider the fans that trended a fictional wedding on Valentine's Day. Consider Misha/Cas fans who felt slighted. Consider your LGBTQA + fans. Just, think about what the reboot could achieve. What it could mean to a lot of people.

As always, we just want happiness and peace when we are done.

Thanks for reading Misha J2M.

Sincerely,

Bee 🐝 and Jay 🐦

[forest-of-thought]

Jensen said that his reactions to Cas's speech/confession were edited. I think Sam Highfill (from Entertainment Weekly) brought the subject up when she spoke with him. It seemed like he only saw the final edit after it aired. (Mark Sheppard has talked about/complained about this before. The editors have A LOT of power to change a scene in post production. They can (and have) completely cut important scenes, shots and lines. Some have ended up changing the entire tone of episodes and characters.)

Exactly!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t Misha express that he wasn’t expecting certain things to happen in the final episode when he watched it with his kids?

Tell me this:

Why would Misha and Jensen encourage us with all this shipper fuel for an entire year (when they had an idea of how Season 15 was gonna go) if they ultimately knew it wasn’t going to be fully reciprocated or concluded in a satisfying way? say what you want about what Misha said on Twitter today, but him and Jensen do give a shit about us - in fact, they’re arguably the only ones who have ever completely taken us seriously when everyone else treated us like crazies. 

Both Misha and Jensen have spent YEARS going to cons and doing panels where they’ve spoken to hundreds of LGBT fans and have shown nothing but compassion and empathy towards us. There’s no way in hell that those 2 would do all of that stuff to us if they knew how the last few episodes were going to be aired. They wouldn’t intentionally bait us like that unless they really are just that oblivious (which surely they aren’t given, as I said, all of their interactions with us). 

Maybe Misha DOES believe Castiel’s final scene wasn’t “bury your gays” (even though he stated before an implication that he does) and perhaps he DIDN’T expect people to see any issues with it. BUT he 100% would have expected total backlash with how Destiel was handled - He had to.

You can not spend an entire decade of your life interacting with THOUSANDS of fans, not including other LGBT people outside of the fandom (his charity work) and still remain tone deaf when it comes to issues like these. You just can’t. It’s fucking impossible. Hell, his own wife that he has known for most of his life is LGBT herself.

Misha knew fans wouldn’t be happy with the ending of the show. He knew that we would be upset by how Dean and Castiel’s stories ended. He knew we would be upset that this naturally and beautifully developed love story wouldn’t be fully canon.

So why would he keep egging us on as fans of the pairing all this time if he knew this is where the story would ultimately lead? 

Because he didn’t. 

At the very least, he didn’t expect it to be half reciprocated. Remember when he was worried about what Jensen would think regarding ep18 and how the writers needed Jensen’s approval to go through with it?  

Approval for what? Castiel saying he loves him? that makes no sense.

No, it only makes sense if Dean was meant to reciprocate (and since Dean is an important character to Jensen, they needed to make sure he was willing to take the character this direction). And Jensen would have 100% been okay with this.

There is no “rogue translator”, people. But Misha can’t tell you all that because if he did then the CW would be trying to lawsuit his ass and the outrage would be confirmed justified from an actual legit source and how would that look to CW??

DON’T BELIEVE WHAT YOU ARE TOLD.

THE CW WANTS TO SILENCE US.

IT WANTS TO FEED INTO THAT “CRAZY SHIPPER” NARRATIVE BECAUSE FROM HISTORY IT’S EASY FOR THE CASUAL VIEWER TO BUY INTO AND DISREGARD OUR CONCERNS.

They are literally trying to fuel hatred towards us so they can claim victim and put our concerns as thirsty angry “shipper” insanity when it reality the issue go beyond that. This isn’t just about our ship “not being canon”.

It’s about censorship. It’s about lies and secrecy. It’s about using the LGBT community as a piggy bank and manipulating us for their own gain when it works for them - because they know we crave representation - but then pack peddling because they don’t want to piss off the prejudiced side of their audience. Meanwhile claiming themselves as allies who want us to speak our truth when they have a firm history of killing off their LGBT characters in horrific manners or in Dean’s case, silencing them. 

That when a character does show signs of being LGBT (things that would be 100% romantic if it were heterosexual) we get told “It’s up to interpretation” (when it’s not) and then get told to write our own stories in fanart or fanfiction as if they’re being supportive when in reality they’re just feeding the homophobes and aggression towards us.

It’s about the mistreatment of actors and a corrupt network that pretends to care about you when in reality all it’s ever cared about is your money. But instead of admitting that, they’ll string you along and sing you praises until you go against them then suddenly they’ll bring in actors and people you care about and use them against you.

To silence you.

Don’t Let Them.

#TheySilencedThem #TheySilencedUs

[insertdeeplyrics]

On the ending of Supernatural

Hi, I’ve never actually posted anything on Tumblr of my own creation (I mostly reblog stuff), but I’ve just seen the ending of Supernatural, and given that this is where I’ve been fed my SPN content, it felt right to share my thoughts here. I’m sure nobody is going to read this, but whatever, I just need to get this out of my chest. Sorry in advance if this is too long, but I have to type this out if I want to move on.

I still need to take some time to process everything that’s happened, because it is a lot. I did have my hopes up for the finale, thinking that Cas would at least show up, but like many of the fans, I was let down.

So I guess that would be the first issue I had with the episode. Regardless of what Dean felt towards Cas, if he reciprocated his feelings or not (which he totally did, I mean, we have all been watching the same show for 12 fucking years, and if you don’t believe me, there are plenty of metas that would support this statement), he still is his best friend and it doesn’t sit right with me the fact that he doesn’t even try to find a way to rescue Cas from the Empty. And okay, maybe he didn’t, make Cas got resurrected by Jack, then why the hell wasn’t he on the final episode? He was a pivotal character for the series, I mean, the proof is in the ratings: Season 7, when he was killed off to apparently never return, the ratings were at their lowest. The show may have started as just Dean and Sam, but over the years it became much bigger than them, and it is so disappointing that the show runners failed to acknowledge it. But I’ll get back to this point later.

Okay, I need to talk about Dean’s death, the only part of the episode that made me cry, because my poor baby had to suffer so much! Like, when he started saying that Sam never put up with John’s crap (which reinforces my headcanon that John was abusive towards the boys) and how much he admired him for it, my heart just shattered. I just love Dean Winchester so freaking much, and they did him so dirty... Don’t get me wrong, Jensen and Jared’s acting was 10/10, like, I thought I had a grip of myself and then Sam started crying and tears came back to my eyes. Nonetheless, I felt that the scene was so freaking long! I mean, Dean was dying, and he had time to make a 10 minutes-long speech! C’mon! Also, I get that Sam and Dean’s relationship is quite deep and strong and whatever, but I felt a bit unconformable watching it: it didn’t feel like a brotherly goodbye, more like a lover’s one. They were too touchy and intimate, and, overall, their relationship from this point on was coded as a romantic one, in my opinion. And Chuck, did I hate it! I have an older brother and I know what it is like to be close to your sibling and to love him more than anything else in the world, but the way they portrayed their relationship on this last episode felt incest-y, which makes me believe that this scene was originally written with another character in mind (cough CAS cough) or the writers don’t know the difference between romantic and brotherly love. To finish off, the way they killed off Dean??? I mean, I did expect Dean to die, but this was such a horrible and ridiculous way to go... I would have accepted it if he died actually fighting, but impaled??? After all he’s been through, after fighting so many demons, angels and deities, that’s how he dies??? That just felt cheap and rushed. Dean did not deserve that ending and I refuse to accept it. In fact, I refuse to acknowledge the existence of this whole fucking mess of an episode. Also, I just can’t believe that no one showed up to Dean’s funeral. I just can’t. I get that maybe it was difficult to bring in a lot of actors due to the pandemic, but they could have added them on post-production...

Next, we have Sam’s ending. He quits hunting and finally obtains his white-picket fence life. I did like the fact that he honored all of his friends and family that he lost along the way, especially Dean. Like, yes, if my brother died, I would like to keep a token (don’t know if that’s the actual word for it, my first language is not English), to have something with me that reminded me of him and to have him with me wherever I go. And I did like that he named his son Dean, in honor of his brother. However, we don’t know how he met his wife, we don’t even know who she is. They set up Sameileen for what?? Like, Sam and Eileen deserved better, tbh. And, again, even with Covid restrictions they could have done something to signal that Sam got married to Eileen, you don’t need the actor there. In fact, we never actually found out what happened to her, and just like I can’t believe that Dean didn’t even try to save Cas from the Empty, I can’t believe that Sam didn’t reach out to Eileen. Furthermore, the montage with his son felt cheap and a way to try to appeal to the audience’s emotions... (Btw, as a side note, the grey wig and the glasses, my god, they did Jared dirty 😂😂). But it wasn’t doing it for me, I didn’t care much for the kid, and while I do believe that was always going to be Sam’s ending, I didn’t like how it was executed.

And the worst part of it all: that suuuuuper long scene with Dean driving in Heaven, waiting for Sam. They could have used that time to show something more meaningful, even to develop a bit more Sam’s new life, how he adjusted to domesticity and fatherhood and all that crap. Or, I don’t know, A TEAM FREE WILL 2.0 REUNION??? And I guess this is my biggest issue with the whole episode. I get it, Sam and Dean are the central characters, the ones that started it all, but family don’t end with blood, and they were not the only ones who deserved a goodbye. They had formed so many bonds and friendships over the years, and to not have them address them on the final episode just feels infuriating. Especially Cas. His arc was not finished, he deserved to be on the finale. We never got Dean’s reaction to his confession, we don’t know how he felt about him, nor did Cas get to say goodbye to any other character. How did he get out of the Empty? What is he doing now? Is he still an angel? Also, he gave his life to save Dean, only for Dean to be killed not long after. My headcanon that is helping me cope with Dean’s death is thinking that he was so quick to accept his death because he was hoping to reunite in Heaven with Castiel. A girl can dream, ok??? But also, what about Jack? He is the new God, but I highly doubt it that he won’t drop by the Bunker from time to time, after all, Sam and Dean (AND CAS, ESPECIALLY CAS) raised him. And Charlie? Did she get back with Stevie? Did she and the boys go for drinks from time to time? And Jody? Donna? Claire? Sorry to be so repetitive, but I just can’t understand why the writers thought that these characters weren’t important enough to deserve a spot on the finale, and not just an off-hand mention (and not even all of them got that). Of course, the brothers are the main characters and their goodbye must be the longest and the most emotional of them all, but like I said before, the show stopped being just about the Winchesters on season 3, when Bobby was first introduced, maybe even 4, with Cas.

Overall, the finale left a lot of questions unanswered, most of them regarding secondary characters (but not less important for that!), completely destroyed Sam and Dean’s character development (Dean never got to be free, like he had been fighting for all season, probably all his life; Sam’s development is non-existing, as he ended up as he would’ve if he never had gotten on that hunting trip with Dean 15 years ago), and completely disregarded all the themes they had been setting up this season, probably on previous ones as well. It is sad knowing that the writers, either don’t know the show good enough to give it a proper goodbye, or they just didn’t care to do so. I don’t know who’s to blame here (definitely not the actors, though, probably someone higher up the chain), but I just know that I am so fucking disappointed. I expected more from the last episode of a 15-season TV show, one that has been part of my life for 7 years. I guess, that despite all of it, I can’t hate Supernatural. Maybe I was not a hardcore fan like some people on this site, but I did care for the characters and what happened to them. This is the show that introduced me to the world of shipping (Destiel will always hold a special place in my heart, it doesn’t matter how badly their relationship was treated, as well as the characters) and I got to discover one of my favorite characters, Dean Winchester. He is just such so complex, one that I relate to on so many levels, and his relationship with Cas has been the source of many short stories that I’ve never posted anywhere, but that have made me take up writing again. That’s the reason why I love the show so much, it has helped me tap into my creativeness and go back to writing, a passion of mine that I seem to have forgotten over the years. Anyways, maybe one day I’ll publish some of those stories, and maybe even write my own fix-it fanfic, but right now, I can’t deal with anything that has to do with the show, I am too hurt. Maybe once the five stages of grief are over, I might give it a try and read all of the amazing codas and fanfics that I’m sure will be posted here or on AO3. But for now, Supernatural is dead and gone, and I don’t want to talk nor think about it anymore. I’m done wasting my time here, because I feel like that’s what I’ve been doing this past 7 years after watching this crap of a finale.

To finish this long rant off, I just want to say thank you to some meta-writers, the true heroes of the fandom. Thanks to them, I carried on watching the show, because they made me have hope that things will get better. They are the ones that have made this experience worth something, and even though I’ve never spoken to any of them, I see you and I love you. Thanks for everything ❤. 

@tinkdw @charlie-minion @dotthings @heliodean @verobatto-angelxhunter @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

[eddielala]

Okay, I won’t sleep.

Here’s my goddamn summary and explanation of the meta. Because I have to say it.

1. They cut the ‘I love you’ scene . You know why? It was a hint that this episode won’t be about them.

2. We don’t know how long Dean was in the bunker and cried. We do know he didn’t pick up the phone the first time Sam called.

3. Dean arrives with the Impala. You can see he’s broken. And I really mean fucking goddamn broken. Jensen acted it very well and in character. He looks to the ground, he tries not to cry, his eyes flutter. He doesn’t realize what Jack and Sam are saying, you literally can see him thinking. Cas told him he loves him and died, that’s not easy to handle. Not for Dean, who’s still unsure about his sexuality.

4. “He saved me”. Well, he didn’t say ‘he loves me’. But ‘he saved me’ is the exact same thing for Dean, because he’s the man who doesn’t deserve to be saved. Saving him was Cas’ love confession and with telling Sam and Jack about it, he said ‘he loves me’. And come on, Dean talking about feelings would be out of character. We see a drunk Dean sleeping between beer bottles, that’s enough.

5. The dog is Cas. Not in person, but it’s kind of an incarnation. The angel with the puppy eyes, loyal, brave. Dean sees Cas in it and that’s the reason he falls in love with ‘Miracle’. He dies because of god and the moment of joy is over. Btw in the end you can see the dog again. Sooo, maybe Cas is on his way?

6. Adam is dead. It was only Michael and Adams body. And after Michael is killed Adam is gone forever. Maybe it’s a message because the fans always made fun that the writers and the boys forgot their brother. Now he’s gone.

7. The Cas call scene. You can see the desperate in Deans eyes. I already saw some posts about it and they were on point. The moment of hope in Deans eyes when he hears Cas’ voice, he jumps off and runs upstairs. That’s love btw. He wants so bad that it’s Cas, even he knows it’s nearly impossible.

8. Lucifers comeback. Maybe fan service? Mark was a brillant Lucifer. And we have the situation of the archenemies again: Lucifer and Michael, both with daddy issues. One last fight. And, surprise, Luci dies. The “good” one wins. Luci is now in the empty again... isn’t he? But I think his death is permanently. They wanted to solve the problem with the whole ‘in SPN nobody stays dead’ thing. But dunno, I didn’t look up the cast for next week’s episode.

9. The reaper. Well, I was in shock when she showed up. I really thought it’s Cas in a female vessel but it was just a reaper. Luci kills her, here’s new death. Well, they needed someone to open up the goddamn book. Wasn’t very exciting. And she was dead as fast as she was alive. I think the writers didn’t know how to open up the book otherwise.

10. The plan. What a rush. And how could god not know it? He’s omniscient? Hm... well, I think the most important scene was the one when Dean asks god to bring Cas back. The anger in his eyes, mixed with desperation. He would kill his brother, but Cas has to live. That’s character development, you can’t tell me otherwise. And that’s also plot development.

11. Michael’s death. Kill off and gone. Well, I think they had to get rid of him. But he died through the hands of his loved father. Could be a hint that daddy issues have to be solved and shows that Chuck is a goddamn son of a bitch.

12. Jack. Oh, he’s an adult now! I think it was the best what could happen to our baby. He always felt not strong enough and now he’s god. That’s a promotion! It was a good decision: Jack was not controlled by his feelings - sure he had bad days, but his wisdom was greater than god’s actually. The reason is that he’s half an angel. And he’s half an human. God made the angels the image and likeness of himself but he wasn’t satisfied by the result. So he created humanity the same way. Jack is a combination out of god’s objective, destructive side and god’s loving, emotional side. And both sides were always in balance, and that’s the reason he could be a energy - how did they call it - sucking hole without getting destroyed by gods and Amaras power. Because these powers need balance and Jack could give it to them.

13. God. God’s an asshole. And we know he represents the writers of Supernatural. When Chuck beats the shit out of Dean and Sam it’s actually a message: The writers harmed them so many times, the whole series is a fucking drama. It represents how they dealt with them, they send them to hell and back so many times. They tortured them, broke their hearts. That’s the last time the writers harm them so much. Because they - Chuck - looses his powers. Dean and Sam take over the situation. Dean and Sam represented and influenced by Jensen and Jared. And by the fans. The writers aren’t able to change them anymore. They are what we want them to be. Because they don’t have the power anymore.

14. The book. We see the white pages of the book. God can’t see what’s written there. The pages are blank. This means the writers are finished. They don’t have something to say anymore. The story got told and there’s nothing what follows. The pages are white and ready for stories from other people. Fanfics, fanarts, and so on. Chuck, the writers, tell us there’s nothing left to say. It’s over.

15. Dean doesn’t kill god. Chuck provokes Dean to kill him and Dean says to him, that’s not who he is. You remember Cas said it this to him, right. It’s not a love confession but something like this. He finally accepts who he is and that he has feelings and not only a raised killing machine. He accepts himself. Maybe that’s a good sign for the next episode.

16. Jack disappears. I know he’s family but for real: he found his happiness being a god. He will change the world. I already said why he’s perfect for this job. And his disappearance is... well, gives me a comfortable feeling. He’s in peace and he found his mission of life. And you can’t tell me he didn’t bring back Eileen and the others. We don’t know if he can bring back Cas out of the empty. But I think he would bring Cas back if he could. Maybe he couldn’t and the story gets told in the last episode. However, Jack did a great job.

17. The ending. Yeah, what did we expect? They already told us with the season’s posters that it’s about Sam and Dean. And only them. And I can understand why Dean seems to be happy there. They literally saved the goddamn world again. But I don’t think it’s only this. They are free now. That means they can become what they want - what the fans want because the writers lost their power. And maybe that’s a hint on Destiel being confirmed by Dean in the next episode. And they’re driving with the Impala but we don’t know where they will go. Hmm... and maybe Dean smiled because he had hope again? Hope to save his... boyfriend?! Don’t know, but he’s able to do it now.

So, maybe I’m too romantic but that’s what I think. I think we see Cas again and that they will be together. I don’t know and I don’t think we will get a love confession from Dean (I know, sad. I thought we get it). But I think there’s hope. Maybe - that’s only a theory - they don’t want to make it completely canon because they argue that the end should offer enough possibilities for the fans to write and draw and so on. I would be pissed if that’s the argument, I mean queerbaiting is real but we don’t know.

I don’t find an answer in the confusing statements of the actors and the crew. Misha said he’s not in this episodes, but he was on set. It’s canon, but Dean doesn’t reciprocate? What the hell? It’s a mess and they have to clean it up for the fans. They said it won’t be a ‘Game of Thrones’ ending and hell yes, I don’t want that. It would suck. Also they said the ending would make 30% of the fans happy - maybe that’s us. We’ll see.

Edit: Btw I wrote it before, I think it’s true that Cas gets more attention in the last episode because of the fact it’s the series finale. Cas wasn’t just part of the season and we know it was the season finale, he’s part of the whole series for years. So why not bring him back for the series finale?

[electric-sympathy]

@an-odd-idea

As somebody who’s never seen the show, can somebody explain this to me? I would like to know

Terrifyingly enough, there’s so much of it in the show that it’s complicated to explain. There are entire blogs dedicated to breaking it down. Even if I only give you a few examples (say, the two big ones), this post will be very long. I can explain what happens, but it is difficult to get across how much the show endorses this behavior.

Dean Winchester is Sam Winchester’s older brother. Somewhere between Dean was 4 and 9 years old, their father decided Sam was Dean’s sole responsibility. This is called Parentification. (Please read the full article, Dean is a CLASSIC case of this.) Sam and Dean grew up to develop a codependent relationship, with Sam as the covert narcissist and Dean as the codependent. They are each other’s sole source of self esteem. Sam views Dean as a sort of parent/slave combo and Dean is suicidal if not caring for Sam because he never learned self worth outside of the job his father gave him.

For some fucking reason, the show acknowledges that the parentification and codependency exist, but it frames the codependency as a good thing. It frames Dean’s slavish devotion as his lot in life, as heroic and Dean as needing “tough love”, and whenever he tries to break the codependency he is browbeaten by the narrative. Often, he is compared to his abusive father or emotionally blackmailed to come back into line. There has even been an episode where a psychologist tells him to stop grieving for his mother because that’s what’s best for Sam. A grown man. They are literally middle aged when this happens.

Mostly this is done because it’s bad for ratings to separate the brothers. For some reason though, Sam is never the one that is abused to force them back together.

In Season 5, Sam is addicted to demon blood. When Dean attempts to give him a detox (which Sam made him promise he’d do several seasons ago), Sam beats him until he is nearly unconscious. Then, he looks at him, defenseless on the floor, and strangles him almost to death. 

Bobby Singer, the narrative mouthpiece and widely beloved in the fandom as “Dean’s real Dad”, says this to Dean after he tells him what happened and says he wants to leave Sam to his own devices to protect himself:

[turns and leans on the table, fuming. After a moment he makes a big angry sweep with his hands, tossing books and papers to the ground. He advances on DEAN, who stands] You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo! I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess! Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good, make you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!

Dean goes back to being Sam’s caretaker and the issue is never addressed again.

Dean is beaten senseless to prove his devotion to other characters on a number of occasions, actually. Always with a big speech from him towards those characters to please stop because they’re the best and he loves them and shit. One of these scenes is the basis for the Destiel ship. Nauseating. No real apologies or reciprocal rants are ever really given.

One of the biggest problems is that Sam is a de facto covert narcissist, but the show spends all its time telling us that it’s okay that he’s like this. This happened because it seems there were plans to make him evil in Season 4, but they decided against it partway through writing it. Instead, they started defending and downplaying all the evil shit he did and still does. Often, Dean is-- like a parent-- blamed for what Sam does independently and of his own volition.

Strangely, Dean is the one factor that remains mostly the same despite this change. Probably because Jensen Ackles had a lot of input. Dean continues to treat Sam as dangerous and untrustworthy, and for this he is given no apologies and constant emotional blackmail. The rest of the characters seem to forget Sam ever did anything worth losing their trust in him. 

Sam’s jealousy and possessiveness is deeply out of control. In Season 8, Dean vanishes in a magical explosion and is transported to Purgatory. Sam decides not to look for him, and settles down with a girl and a dog. Dean, meanwhile, spends an entire year in what is essentially a monster cage match (monsters go to Purgatory when they die and are all just throw in a forest to kill each other for eternity). Dean meets a good vampire there, Benny, and they become BFF war buddies. When Dean returns with Benny who guided him to the portal to earth, to find that Sam made no attempt to save him, Sam gets turbopissed. He constantly shames Dean for being upset. He absolutely fucking hates Benny, with the “he’s a vampire” excuse, even though Sam has had werewolf and demon girlfriends and is friends with a vampire and a kitsune. It is obvious he hates him because he reminds Sam of what he’s done wrong and because Dean is getting too reliant on someone that is not Sam.

Sam spends a lot of time telling Dean he’s losing his mind for trusting a vampire. (This is a trend for him, first telling Dean he’s stupid and weak and can’t hack it for having PTSD in Season 4, even though he has PTSD because he went to Hell after selling his soul to save Sam’s life. Sam gaslighted him quite often in S4-5 actually, often leaving to go drink demon blood and telling Dean he’s crazy and broken for being suspicious.) Sam attempts to kill Benny one time, and then later in the season he finally forces Dean to murder Benny.

Etc etc etc.

So the thing with this show is that it’s frequented by people who are narcissistic, or love the idea of having a slavish person like Dean devoted to them, or just generally don’t mind emotional abuse or domestic violence.

[bastardash]

SPN Finale: It Was Just Bad Choices

Having spent days reading every conspiracy theory I wanted to believe but they never quite crystallized for me. After reading Misha’s tweets last night and sleeping on it here’s my 2 cents.

I have seen a lot of bad choices made in series finales over the years. The Powers That Be (TPTB) get it in their heads that they need to return to the “core of the story,” and we get unsatisfying things like Rachel giving up Paris for Ross, and Jaime going back to Cersei, and the How I Met Your Mother Finale. They throw out character development and where the narrative is at the moment to return to what they think the story was about in the beginning. Kevin Williamson has said several times over the years that he regrets letting Joey and Pacey get together at the end because the show was about Dawson and Joey. He actually managed to get it right but thinks he was wrong!

I think that Andrew Dabb and TPTB thought they wrapped up Castiel’s story in 15x18. What we saw as a build up to Destiel was what they saw as the build up to Castiel telling his truth and the truth set him free. To TPTB his love saved the world but his whole purpose was to sacrifice himself for The Winchesters one last time, having fulfilled his purpose his story was done. I think Misha is telling the truth and the script he and Jensen were working off of didn’t have Dean reciprocate. Was there an older script sent to Mexico? I don’t know. Personally I think it was an heroic ad lib. (It’s still canon in Spanish!) I think there were more emotional takes of Jensen that were not used. The editing feels wonky because they built a more “manly” stoic performance in the editing room. I think there were scenes of Cas and Jack cut out of 15x19, but TPTB didn’t think we needed to see them. They fulfilled their purpose time to get back to brothers driving in a car. 

One thing that we know for sure is that Jensen Ackles hated the finale from the beginning and had to be talked into it. Which tells me the bones of the story were always going to be the same. Dean was going to die on an old school hunt having lost all his character development along the way. I do think that Misha was in Vancouver and they either chose not to use him or cut him out. I do not think it was network interference. I think TPTB decided it was superfluous to have Cas in the finale, the mention was enough. Since all we were probably going to get was a “hi Dean” and maybe a hug left up to our interpretation they decided it was unnecessary. Since the story they were telling was of 2 brothers they decided they needed a scene of old man Sam being sad in the car so we know that his very full life still sucks without his brother. 

This show has tried to write off Cas so many times. It has actively fought against it’s own narrative. They probably thought an old school episode where they went back to the roots of the show would be fun for the audience! How could they not see it? How could they watch the first cut of the finale and not see it was dropping like a lead balloon?  I don’t know. I’ve never known. Yes Dean was the love of Castiel’s life, but Cas was also the love of Dean’s life, and it’s been there in the narrative the whole time and the writers have always acted like they couldn’t see it. The narrative has been screaming for Dean to come out and instead he dies on a lame season 1 hunt and drives around in his car until his brother can join him because that’s all TPTB saw him as, Sammy’s big brother. 

It’s frustrating, it pisses me off, it is unsatisfying, but I think it was TPTB silencing Dean and Cas one last time. 

(I would actually be curious to know how many times the CW made the show bring Cas back for the ratings.)

[lispunk]

Thoughts about Misha's video, 15x18 (the non reciprocal love confession and subsequent latam correction) and How the C*W* ended Supernatural

This my opinion after watching Misha's video. It's a bit long so bare with me, please.

So what if it was just a rogue translation? There's so many people who only know that version of the story and for them it will be the only one there is. I stopped watching spn in wb (I'm from Argentina) because I didn't like the translation (which is really funny now), but I think that saying this is my canon now is very valid. I was lucky enough to get to watch the show online when it aired but the truth is that am going to stick with the spanish Latin America version even if it was a lucky mistake.

(Also y'all really don't know how big it is that they made the decision to put "Te amo" instead of the platonical "Te quiero" and Dean saying "Y yo a ti, Cas". Spanish dubb in -Latin America at least I don't know about Spain- is usually very homophobic like as a rule, it's still very common to see translations turned platonic or less romantic just so it's not very gay. So the fact that they made the choice to say that is incredibly huge).

(TW: canon characters deaths; talk about suicidal tendencies -in character and the op; homophobia from network).

And the thing is that for Cas it's still a bury your gays ending whether Dean is canonically bisexual (which he is to me) or not. And we don't even need to talk about Destiel. It's also about Rowena (cutting a scene which confirmed her as bi) and Charlie (being the representation of the fandom at some extent and dying violently) and how they characters were treated. And how every female or poc characters was treated. The C*W* needs to be hold accountable for this things. They think they aren't homophobic because they have a white twenty something gay guy, and don't get me wrong they deserve representation too but it's the easiest way they can give it. They're mostly filling a quota, they don't care about them. And that's fucked up doesn't matter how you look at it.

Maybe we were wrong about an original alternative version of the love confession scene were Dean reciprocates, but we are not wrong about everything else. And I'm sure we are not wrong about the network queerbaiting us into watching the last two episodes after we got the confession in 15x18. They knew what it would mean to us and they chose to be ambiguous about Cas coming back just to keep us watching.

I understand if Misha thinks Cas ending meant so much (and I agree to some extent) but I won't be silent about how much I hate what they did to him. Cas declaration was really important and it did save the world, but I can't say that it was okay that they killed him afterwards and then we only got three mentions of his name and nothing else in the last two episodes. I would die saying that Castiel as the third lead in Supernatural deserved better than that and he deserved to be in the finale (don't even bring covid as an excuse because it's not).

Supernatural's ending sucked. If you liked it then good for you, you're very lucky but I still will boycott the shit out of it. I love Misha, Jensen and Jared and I respect them and their work (also the whole crew and cast) but that doesn't stop me from thinking the finale was disrespectful towards them but especially towards us. I don't even have to bring Destiel into this, the way Dean died it's just awful. He fought for the whole world and he didn't deserve that. Y'all really don't understand how much it affected me the fact that Dean, a character who has shown suicidal tendencies got killed the moment he was starting to enjoy life. I deal with my mental illness and my own awful thoughts and seen that just made me feel real hopelessness. That's not the way you want to portrait a mentally ill (and possibly queer) character unless you're a truly shitty network/writer and you don't really care about the characters and/or your audience.

I know I talk a lot about Dean and Cas but Sam's ending wasn't great either. Yeah, he got the withe fence ending with a wife (DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON THE FACELESS BACKGROUND WOMAN) and a kid, but he never got over his brother death and that's really just sad. Also one chapter he was desperate to have Eileen (his love interest through the whole season) back (15x18) and then we never hear from her again, no one even mentions her name.

They build the whole show around the idea that "Family doesn't end in blood", they have all this character growth from their leads and then it's just thrown away for supossedly shocking value and some weird idea that they should end it like they started it or how it originally was supposed to be (which literally just takes away the whole point of making the show). And they don't even mention family (besides the abusive father being in heaven, mary whom I don't particularly think is a good mother, jack and cas being mentioned once each, and bobby appearing for two minutes after like five seasons). So it just ends up being about Sam and Dean, or just Sam, and eventually his son Dean I guess. And then Sam and Dean again but now they're both dead and happy (because is great being dead apparently).

I'm going into heller mode now so if that's not your cup of tea then leave that's it for you, it's your lose.

As a queer closeted girl I've always found comfort in Cas and Dean's relationship and I tought that someday it would be their moment and it'd be okay for them to come out and then it would be okay for me too. Getting the semi canon when 15x18 aired meant so much but the truth is I still wanted more, I wanted Dean to be able to say it back because I love them both and they deserve so much love and Dean especially has always been a role model to me so I really wanted for him to get an actual happy ending and then... we didn't. But now there's this new version and truly I couldn't care lees if it's not in the original script because I got to hear it. I think it's sad how fucking desperate I am for representation from characters I relate to that I will take any crumbs i can get. Dean and Cas deserved so much better than what spn end gave them. And the truth is that I and we did too.

In conclusion: Dean is bi(sexual and lingual), he loves Castiel and his love is reciprocated. Also the ending is an ao3 fix-it fic, so yeah. That's it. I'm sorry for this ranting but I really need it to let all out. If someone is as frustrated as I am feel free to drop a message.

P.S. I really love the cast and the show, I literally wouldn't care that much about this if I didn't so i don't mean to sound hateful towards them. Just really hated the ending and the fact that I got queerbaited and robbed of so many (mostly gay) things.

P.S.2. Sorry for any grammar or spelling errors it's past 3 am and I'm not a native english speaker (self taught actually so there's probably a lot of those). Again really sorry about that, I hope I made myself understandable enough.

[cowboylikedean]

Now that I’ve had time to sit with all of this, my feelings are.... complicated.

The thing is... I was finished. I was done. I watched seasons 11-14 out of respect for my past, my history, my time, my life. I was watching season 15 out of respect for the show. To see it out to the end, to give it the opportunity and respect to be finished. But I was already done. 

And then they did one of the three (3) things that could bring me back. 

And I feel so... manipulated? 

I kinda feel like Buffy in season 6 talking about coming back from heaven. “I was finished, complete. And I was happy. But I was torn out of there, ripped out... by my friends.” 

Because I was happy. I was happy in that I had made peace. I knew that I loved the original seasons 1-5 arc, that my favorite season was 7, that season 8 was when I started to really not enjoy myself, that season 9 is when I lost all ability to enjoy the show, that I only watched season 10 for the 200th and the nostalgia presented in that episode was fun, but it carried me for two or three weeks and then.... I let go. I had made peace with never getting that back. I was never going to watch this show and have fun again, unless I was rewatching 1-7, and that was okay. I didn’t need to enjoy it. I didn’t need anything. The writers were terrible and I knew that but it was okay. I didn’t have to trust them or have faith in them or generally give a shit because they were bad writers phoning it in for a pay check and that’s fine... If you can, you can I guess. I mean it’s bullshit but like I was okay. 

But now.... Now I care again. Now I need and want something from them. Now I’m worried about the fact that I don’t trust them and I think they’re all shitty writers phoning it in for a paycheck because now I care about what happens. 

And I’m pissed. 

Because out of those three things, they chose the ONE that I resent the most. 

Those three things are (1) They kill Sam. This is clearly my favorite, and if they were gonna do one I wish they’d done this especially if it was at Dean’s hands. He’d never have a happy ending after killing Sam, but I would. (2) They kill Dean. This would have been a cut and dry “let’s go kill someone” charge. I would have had my appropriate moment of outrage and disgust. I’d be seeing Sam-stans and Cas-stans write their long metas about how “it’s actually a perfect ending for Dean” and see destiel wannabes write their mourning fics like it was cute and be justified in every spec of anger I’ve ever felt. 

But they chose (3) Destiel goes canon. I get no satisfaction from this... But I do get my sense of nostalgia played upon. I get used for views with nothing in return. Well... Maybe that’s not accurate, I get something, but it’s not... 

I stopped shipping destiel 2 seasons before I finished watching. Season 8 was the last time I shipped it in any serious fashion. I sat through the wild and incredible queerbaiting that was Jeremy Carver’s run of the show.... and honestly for what?! I was here in the hiatus between seasons 7 and 8, leading up to what we, the fandom, called “season gr8″ which it was only named because of queerbaiting. And I fell for it. I drank the koolaid every single week in season 8. I wrote metas and posts, my fb memories are filled with posts insisting that “this would be the week.” 

“It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon,” I’d say. “It’s a slow burn, a long build. A will-they-won’t-they.” I felt like my fellow fans who were getting increasingly more aggressive with the cast and crew had just “lost faith.” that if they saw the big picture, that Dean and Cas were an epic love story that didn’t need immediate payoff, they could enjoy all the little moments we were getting without demanding more. 

By the time I left the show, I no longer expected they’d make it canon... but more importantly, neither did I want them to. By that time, Dean had been put through the ringer being the emotional support for every character, the punching bag, the background to everyone else’s stories because no other actor could pull the emotion Jensen could. Dean had everything he had despite the other characters’ stories and emotions. He was seen by the fandom and most of the writing staff as a filler, an extension. He was one half of a relationship - romantic or not - not his own person. He was “the dumb one” and characterized in really stupid ways. You can see it as recently as 15x16 when a writer who has written one other episode of the show and clearly never actually watched the show especially the flashback episodes. Dean was a caricature, not a character. And Cas... Cas was written with increasing amounts of fanservice too. He went from a powerful being trying to learn to balance his sense of angelic responsibility with love of the Earth to being a whiny crybaby who was generally helpless to circumstance. He was written in such a way where he both leaned on Dean to give him purpose and validation while also completely ignoring everything about Dean that made Dean Dean. 

As the seasons have gone on, this has gotten more apparent. I think what happened with Mary and Dean kicking Cas out the bunker earlier this season (which was also written by Robert Berens btw and if it’s true he wrote the confession scene first in the season - he wrote this scene after that one) is a perfect example. Dean’s criticism there is that Cas doesn’t trust him. When shit is hitting the fan, Cas expects Dean to react in the worst possible way he could, so he refrains for telling Dean vital information and asking for help while he looks for a solution by himself so Dean never has to know there’s even a problem. Then something goes wrong and Cas is always left there saying he’s sorry, that he shouldn’t have done that... But he never seems to learn, or trust Dean enough to do something different next time. And that time, the lack of trust killed Dean’s mom. The narrative and the fandom both treated Dean as irrational and overly emotional - the bad guy - in that situation. Dean shouldn’t have done that.

But like what the fuck should he have done??? I’d have killed him. Or cut him out for good... like for good for good. How toxic is it to have someone in your life who repeatedly ruins your life by not trusting you with a problem that could be dealt with collectively, but not alone? 

And we’re going to what... retcon all of that? By bringing destiel into this, all the reasons I haven’t shipped it and I’ve considered Cas to be one of the most insidious abusers in this show are what? What am I supposed to do with them? 

It’s no fucking wonder the script says Dean can’t reciprocate! Because how could he? How can they really justify Dean expressing his frustration at being manipulated and lied to for 11 years at the beginning of the season and expressing undying romantic love at the end of the season? 

But this isn’t about narrative sense. It’s about an ending. The whole season is about endings... and writings... and god and death to the author... The metas flying around about “god” and “the writers” are all spot on... And so, it doesn’t matter. The message is the story is what we make it, not what they do. And therefore, they call upon destiel as the greatest example of the fandom finding a story within the story that wasn’t being told. 

Except that’s not true. Because it has been being told, just not with any intention of payoff. It’s been queerbaited and intentionally so. “It’s not queerbaiting if they make it canon” is a lie. It is still queerbaiting if they never intended to make it canon! And it’s not okay. 

But here I am, two episodes to go and then that’s it. There are no other opportunities for them to make canon honor that unspoken promise to the viewers. This is it. And endings do matter. Despite the message of the season being generally that endings aren’t important. That the story, the push and pull, the free will of the characters to run away with the story and bring the writers and audience to new places, the interaction between audience and story and the life they run away with, that those are the important parts of stories and storytelling... But that just isn’t true. It’s a romantic notion that endings are just silly things we tack on our stories that confine us, that the real stories are within us... but we consume these stories for the payoff of the ending. An unsatisfactory ending can completely ruin a work; just ask HIMYM. 

So then this is my last chance... My last chance to feel the release of payoff of a relationship I was intentionally inspired to care about without an intention of payoff. This is my last chance of vindication for all that emotional time and energy spent. 

So I’m hopeful and I’m transported back to 2012 and 2013 when I cared. When I believed. When every week felt like a possibility. When it felt like it could really happen. And most importantly, when I wanted it to. Because I do want it to now. I have actively not wanted it to for 6 years, but now is my last chance and it very well might happen so now... I want it.. 

And the way they did it... With giving Cas his moment, but leaving it open for interpretation... IT’S SO CALLBACK QUEERBAIT. AND callback toxic Cas. Cas lays this on Dean and then yeets off? And tells Dean that it’s because Cas loves him that he’s going? Every single part of Dean’s emotional history and trauma makes that evil, but Cas does it to him? And I’m hoping he’s not mad for the sake of the payoff of the relationship?!?!?!??!?! 

Are you fucking kidding me?

And then also I wanna circle back to the queerbait of it all. Misha acknowledged today that there’s some room for interpretation here. And I don’t know how that gets resolved in the final two episodes, if it does... BUT THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT!!! I will be watching live, as it airs, for the first time in 7 years, one week before I intended mind you, because I’m being baited with the promise and hope of explicit payoff that doesn’t leave room for interpretation???? And that’s not queerbaiting??? 

The whole thing is ridiculous and manipulative and just generally awful, but I’m eating it up because I don’t really have the luxury of another choice. Because hoping for payoff is the best option I’ve got. 

I hope I get to justify my past self and see all of that payoff and feel that vindication for the part of me that loved destiel, but I consider destiel to be the number 1 thing that ruined the show for me. So it will be a hollow victory, for sure. And that’s if there’s even a victory, which isn’t a guarantee. 

I just feel so used right now. 

[samclownchester]

Thoughts on 15x18

Despair

What a fitting title. 

So, the episode starts with a hate crime, has a hate crime in the middle, and ends with the biggest hate crime of all. 

I have to admit that there is a certain amount of poeticism to starting out with a wlw couple where one of them dies and then ending with a mlm couple where one of them dies, having sandwiched in the middle a m/f couple where one of them dies. 

Anyway, despair. 

@bean-witch can attest that I was literally jumping around, pacing in agitation, and throwing things, during the scene where they drove to find Eileen. (to be fair so was she lol). I am infuriated that we didn’t even get to see Eileen. I understand filming schedules are complicated but it seems so unfair that she has been mentioned multiple times but we haven’t seen her since “the Trap.”

Bean-witch did point out that the way people have been disappearing looks a lot like what Chuck did to Becky and many others throughout the season, and he always says “they’re not dead, just ... away.” and additionally, given the fact that it looks like the whole world is empty of people ... they’re gonna have to fix that. I refuse to believe Eileen is gone for good, or Charlie or Bobby or any of them. They have to find a way to bring back the people Chuck waved away. 

But that sure hurt. All I could think while Sam was looking at Elieen’s dropped and cracked phone was 1x19, when Sam is telling Sarah that he’s scared to let anyone in because he might lose them, when he says “ The pain that I went through... I can't go through it again.” But he has gone through it so many times and I am so angry. 

I am glad that Cas was able to have that conversation with Jack near the beginning of the episode. I’m glad that we were able to see how much Jack is struggling with the ... anticlimactic nature of it all. That was supposed to be his Destiny, he was supposed to die and now he’s just here. He didn’t accomplish anything with his sacrifice and he’s just here. And Cas assuring him that they love him not because of his usefulness but because he is himself. I don’t know how long it’ll take for Jack to believe that. 

Speaking of Jack, Dean did an interesting 180 at the beginning of the episode. Once it was clear that Jack’s death wouldn’t achieve what they wanted, once Sam had snapped Dean’s mind a little more into place, Dean was adamant that Jack be safe. I personally think that was his guilt driving him more than anything else. He wants a chance to fix things. He didn’t want Jack to die thinking that Dean hated him. 

I do have to say that I love the idea of Dean, who has already killed Death once, going on a mission with Cas to kill the new Death, who only became Death because Castiel killed her to save Sam and Dean. Also I absolutely died when Cas offered to go with Dean and Dean accepted the offer. There have been so many times throughout the show when Cas has made that offer and been declined. My heeeeaarrrt. 

I honestly don’t know if I want to say anything about the confession scene. Personally, I thought that Jensen’s acting was wonderfully subtle, but still screamed a lot of things. He seemed conflicted, confused, touched, hurt, scared. I think responding to all of that with “why does this sound like a goodbye” was the perfect thing to say, he needs more time to process, but he doesn’t have any. 

I am angry though because I saw someone posted a picture of the script for that scene, and the stage directions literally say “Dean cannot reciprocate but Cas doesn’t need him to.” What do they MEAN he can’t reciprocate? Have you watched the show? I am glad we have confirmed Cas is in love with Dean, but I hate that Dean’s response to that is still up in the air, bordering on “Straight best friend who can’t reciprocate.” Like ... did they really give us “destiel” in the form of “Cas has been pining after this straight man for 10 years and as soon as he confesses he’s killed?” Did they really do that to us?

I know it’s been said by many, Misha included, that this is Cas’s last episode, but I don’t know if I believe it? I don’t want to get my hopes up but it’s like they’ve been trolling us this whole time. Just a few months ago wasn’t there a whole thing about some of the cast/crew of spn making fun of destiel shippers for thinking it was intentionally written into the show? And they had already filmed this scene months before! I’m not saying it’s a big conspiracy and they secretly flew Misha up to Vancouver and then took a photo on set without him on his birthday just to trick the viewers into thinking Cas died when he actually didn’t. but ... I just can’t accept that this is his ending. 

I really wish they had been able to film it without COVID restrictions. There was just something off about the whole scene, you could tell they weren’t really in the same room together. 

I want to be able to appreciate the beautiful tragedy of it, an angel who fell in love with a broken man, who changed his whole life, his whole world view, because Dean taught him to care, who’s last act is confessing his love so that Dean can live. I want to cry about the ending to a 10 year long story. 

But there are too many mixed emotions

and it doesn’t help that the rest of the world feels the need to add their opinions. 

Not looking forward to Dean telling Sam and Jack that Cas is gone. 

Also! Billie was already dying!! Maybe they could’ve waited her out!!!  I don’t know! Was this really necessary!!

[piet-ra]

Here are my thoughts on the whole supernatural thingy:

(Spoilers for spn and she-ra i guess)

I don't know if I'm happy for it even existing, if I'm mad at the writers for not doing it sooner, if I'm mad at myself for being slightly pleased that the bare minimum exists when we clearly deserve so much more.

But mostly I think I'm just annoyed and angry. My devotion to the fandom and the show died many years ago and now I just casually read something here and there about the show. Even though I watched 9 seasons non-stop and was a very dedicated Destiel shipper.(and yes Carry on my wayward song is still great and now I can associate it with the actual developed gay couple of Carry on - Rainbow Rowell) So, when I heard "Destiel is Canon" it felt like I never left seeing how excited I was. Then, I was surprised. I felt like it came out of fucking nowhere. And very late at that. I go watch the rest show. Surprise surprise it did come out of nowhere. I had a hard time processing it. And now Imma lay down my reasoning behind being mad even though no one actually gives a shit.

First, right out of the gate, what pisses me off is the lack of actual build up. Yes, the fans have been calling it for years. But the fans were also searching for breadcrumbs due to a lack of representation. Fans were projecting and trying to find subtext. I was one of them. Never there was explicit enough reasons to canonically think they were a thing or would ever become one. And now the writers went there and gave us a feeling of false vindication by saying "you were right all along, we were dropping hints" when it has certainly not been the case. I doubt (like rly rly doubt) that their intention when writing spn back then was to make destiel a thing. They hadn't even planned for half the shit that went down but y'all want me to believe destiel of all things was the exception? Meh. But even if I'm being really generous and giving them the benefit of the doubt, it still stands that they could have done it a long long time ago. Which takes me to the second reason why I'm mad.

The timing is ridiculously convenient for the writers. The show has been running for FIFTEEN years, it has FIFTEEN seasons and they choose the third to last episode to make it happen? And then HE DIES AND IS SENT TO MEGA HELL after confesssing his gay feelings??? With only two more episodes left, I'll let you wager on how much of actual destiel we'll get. That is, if Dean EVER reciprocates, because it was not explicit at all.(c'mon Jensen, you can do better than that) The dying thing is a massive problem, but not as much as when it happens. Because this is still supernatural and everyone has died and come back to life at least five hundred thousand times before. They could have kept the scene as it was, only a few seasons before. Then we'd actually have decent moments of consequence to the confession, conflict, build up to an actual romantic relationship if they did not mean for it to be one sided, dean confronting his feelings and all that jazz. But no, we get the bare minimum and after this the show ends if people are upset about it, they will no longer have to deal with that shit.

Even though they knew destiel was immensely popular in the fandom for AGES, it seems that now that some popular lgbtq+ couples/shows have arisen and have been received (mostly) positively, they wanted to jump in the band wagon, but not so much that it would anger their straight prejudiced viewers. Cw shows, huh? It's like we're doing it, but we're not committing to it. And if you don't like it, we have already milked everything from you anyways, cause y'know the show is ending in a couple of weeks. AND WHAT IS WORSE. If Destiel didn't happen, I don't think it would be a Sherlock case where something feels off and weird and the lack of it feels forced. Since Dean has been stablished since the beginning as liking women and all indication of otherwise can fall under plausible deniability and fans reading too much into it, I don't really think they would receive big amounts backlash for not doing it or be criticized for it. Fans really have resigned themselves years ago that Destiel wouldn't ever happen. And if they are doing it just to avoid backlash is bad, but if not, then why? To make the show relevant again by trending Destiel? To play on the popularity of the ship? Idk and Idc. They can have the bestest of intentions, but it was done poorly. And now, since the lack of build up is a problem, it - and it reallly pains me to say this - feels forced/aka censored. (I hate myself right now for saying this aaaaaaaaaaaaaa).

It is not good representation. (And seeing as my tumblr is basically she-ra focused, I'm anticipating people saying that that also happens in she-ra. But when the show has never shied away from representation, good casual represation, like having two dads, two moms, a married lesbian couple, a non-binary character amongst other things, I can't find it in me to say it does not have good representation. And the characters only getting together at the end fits their development and personality. And we had a whole season to develop them coming to terms with loving the person who's supposed to be your enemy, but was once your best friend and now fights alongside you and you now realized you love. Supernatural feels like fucking pandering.)

However, it is kinda maybe sorta representation still. And - that depends on how they play it out on the next two episodes - I don't feel it is particularly damaging(except the mega hell thibgy, but again, it is spn); It was not advertised as an lgbtq+ show nor used the couple to promote their season, so yeah kay fine, I'm still gonna laugh at ya.

So, having already had a weak spot for Destiel in the first place, I can't stop feeling a bit happy that at least Cas fessed up and we might get something. It can't be used as a example of great representation, but I'm not mad the ship exists. I'm just really really mad at how it was done.(not only because y'know, I'm queer, but also because the fans and the couple deserve better.)

[bad-wolfies]

Ok, so I'm going to share with you my two inner demons if you don't mind.

When I heard about Castiel confessing his love to Dean and Dean "not able to reciprocate" I was super let down about it. I though to myself "well the writers picked easy way out by giving everyone just a little taste of what they wanted." It made me really sad.

Then I actually watched the scene, and I was surprised at Jensen's acting. I personally think he did the best he could with consideration to his characters background and personality. You can see in his face that he was trying really hard to give us some inner dialogue just with micro expressions. I believe that's the faith he as an actor put in us, to at least understand that he's a professional who is going to do the best he can for the scene. Micha obviously gave it his all in this scene and I love him for that.

I'm browsing Tumblr since then and I came across a lot of different opinions. I read a lot of people saying that they would be fine if Dean turned out to never have romantic feelings for Castiel, and that's all fine. It's your opinion and I respect it. Micha said similar and it really hurt me to have him say it to be honest. The truth is, whenever I read someone say that I get flood by the realization that it's the most probable outcome. If that was the case, I feel that Castiels feelings being canonically acknowledged meant nothing at the end of the day, because it would still mean the past 12-11 years was queerbait'ish. I don't like this word, because I save space in my head that maybe Destiel was to begin with our imagination and the breadcrumbs we collected weren't meant to be put into a whole bun. But if I was not being crazy, then all those scenes we have to prove Destiel was a thing were never one-sided. Dean took part in them in similar amount as Cass did.

I don't take Castiels confession as Destiel being canon. I take it as Castiels feelings being canon. That means that until we get an actual cannon feelings from Dean - Destiel will never be canon. What's worse, if Dean was to deny having any romantic feelings for Cass, it will be canonically one-sided love, sinking Destiel ship with no return.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I personally would rather have Dean confirm his love back and if not, just leave it here, with Castiel canonically confessing his romantic love and Dean not being able to answer for reason that we as fans can make up for ourselves. This way I can rewatch the show for years to come, still being able to believe in that love I saw there the first time. It made the show so deep, emotional and colorful for me just to be able to cheer for that love, and as much as I like the show, without the emotional punch that Destiel gave me, I would not want to watch it again. Without Destiel for me, it would be show like any other.

It's my personal opinion though. I really wish there was a way for everyone to be happy with the ending

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: The Rupture (15x03)

Well... damn?

Cons:

In the first two reviews of this season, I talked a lot about how this season was going to lean really hard into the nostalgia. I had high hopes about the return of some of these characters, and while I did really like this episode, I'm getting a bit concerned. Last week, Kevin showed up only to immediately leave again. This week, after Ketch's close call last week, he's killed off, Rowena dies, and then Belphegor also bites the dust. So a lot of stuff that was just getting set up is suddenly off the table. On the one hand, I like it when things are unpredictable and move at a quick pace. On the other hand, this feels a bit too familiar to me. Supernatural has a pattern. The first three episodes are all A-plot focused, and then we've got to ratchet back the tension so we can do some monster-of-the-week stuff. That's fine, that's expected. But we've already rushed through so many of the things I thought this season was going to focus on, and I have a feeling that the tension and drama is going to drop off. We've only got seventeen precious episodes left! I don't know if it was Rowena or Belphegor or even Ketch's time to go just yet.

Yo... Dean wicked needs to apologize to Cas. That was rough stuff. I loved the angst, don't get me wrong, but I hope Dean is held responsible for his actions. I hope we get a real in-depth look at Dean's anger issues and he realizes that he's the one in the wrong here. This isn't so much a problem with the episode as it is a worry for the future - I hope they do this plot thread justice.

And for my one and only petty complaint - it bothers me that they insist on sticking to their guns with the stupid idea of spelling Castiel's name "Cass." Like... stop. It's wrong. We all know it's wrong.

Pros:

Ketch gets this totally depressing yet oddly bad-ass death where he refuses to turn on the Winchesters even when facing down death. There's a part of me that wants to say it doesn't really matter, because he's done so many terrible things to the boys that this act of sacrifice doesn't redeem him. But maybe redemption isn't the point. Crowley and Rowena both also died to help the Winchesters, and that doesn't erase the harm they've done over the years, but it does show that they're capable of change. If Supernatural has a single unifying thesis statement, it's all about free will. And that means that Sam and Dean fight to make their own choices. But it also means that people don't fit into prescribed roles. Villains can do heroic things, heroes can do villainous things. Ketch can't erase his evil past, but he can do what he can to help the people he believes in, here at the end. I was oddly touched by his loyalty, there in his final moments.

Belphegor... honestly, I wasn't quite ready to say goodbye to him. He was a lot of fun. We got that teaser at the end of Season Fourteen showing Jack with Billie, so we can assume that Alex Calvert isn't gone-gone. But honestly, while I was a little sad to say goodbye to such a fun character so quickly, this was the one subversion of my expectations that I ultimately think was a very smart move. If Belphegor had stuck around, he would have felt like Crowley 2.0 in all the bad ways, instead of just the good ones. By that I mean that he would have been a kind-of-sort-of adversary who would hang around in the background and be available whenever he was needed, to conveniently provide a power-up to a Winchester in need. All of the fun and snark gets sucked out of a character like that pretty quickly, the moment you realize they're not a real threat. This way, we see that he was playing nice for a specific and nearly-achievable goal. Cas stops him, and the price is Rowena's life, and there it ends. That was pretty satisfying.

Rowena. I wish we could have had more time with her. But if she had to die, what a way to go. I mean, I'd be remiss if I did not point out how annoying it is to lose one of the few female characters still remaining on this show. It's annoying. But so many women have died in a way that can only be classified as being "fridged." And this was not that. Yes, Sam is going to have his "man pain" over Rowena's death or whatever, but she made a choice. She sacrificed herself, going against a lifetime of selfishness and an imperative desire to live no matter the cost. And the fact that it had to be at Sam's hands was just the perfect amount of heartbreak.

I seriously adore the way they portrayed Sam and Rowena's relationship. It's not textually romantic, but... it could have been. And there's an open acknowledgment of that. Sam hasn't experienced a lot of tender affection in his life, and you can see from his behavior with any and all of his love interests over the years that it's something he really craves. Rowena was genuinely kind to him, in her own strange way, and that's something Sam is going to miss terribly. It's strange, because on paper this scene plays in to so many story-telling cliches. A man forced to kill his girlfriend for the greater good. But Rowena wasn't Sam's girlfriend. She wasn't there just to be a female character for him to cry over. She was a fully realized character and the decision that she and Sam came together to make was one of great sacrifice and integrity. Rowena was a fantastic and surprising character on this show. She came to mean more to me than I would have expected, and if she had to go, then this was a pretty bad-ass way for it to happen.

We had a nice little moment of Dean checking up on Sam. I like that once again there isn't anything explicit being said here - Dean doesn't say "I know you were kind of maybe in love with her a little bit, so sorry man." He doesn't have to say that. It's implied, and Sam knows that Dean knows, and maybe that's enough. It was a nice little understated moment.

As much as my heart broke for Sam here, let's end this review with the Destiel breakup. Because holy moly oh my God. As I said, I'm not about to get my hopes up about anything like a real reciprocal confirmation. But what they're giving us is just... everything I never knew I needed. There have been plenty of legitimate criticisms over the years that Cas will do anything in the world for Dean, and that Dean doesn't appreciate it, and treats him like a tool to use to solve all of his problems. In this moment, Cas is at the end of his rope. He did his best, but he's grieving for Jack, and his powers aren't working, and Dean doesn't have the time or the inclination to listen to anything he has to say. No wonder he's fed up, no wonder he's heartbroken. No wonder he leaves. I can't wait for Dean to make amends for this. I can't wait for Sam to take him to task for pushing away their best friend.

Everything about the scene - Misha's performance in particular - was just so achingly tragic. It was a break-up. It was Cas saying that for his own mental well-being, he needed to break up with his toxic boyfriend. They even played the sad Supernatural theme as Cas walked away. And I think it's telling that the episode ends on that note. You could have flipped the final two scenes - had Cas leave dramatically, and then end with Dean comforting Sam, telling him that they've succeeded, and commiserating about Rowena. But no - the final beat is Dean standing there, as the camera pulls away and shows him alone in the bunker, with Castiel walking away from him. Jensen's performance was great as well. He's so angry with Cas, and so unwilling to bend. But maybe this will be the moment that he realizes that he takes Cas for granted. That he expects him to always do what Dean says, and be there when he's wanted. I just adore the fact that here, in the final season of this show, the problems in Dean and Cas' relationship are getting a real focus. Even if it doesn't go as far as I would ideally like, it will still be so much fun to explore!

And that's that. What a sad episode of Supernatural! It got me feeling all sorts of feelings, let me tell ya. And my complaints were actually not about this episode in isolation, more about my worries for the middle section of this season. So for that reason, this is getting a pretty high score!

9/10