#Jpop angst

[slytherinshua]

WHEN WE MEET AGAIN

genre. angst. maybe werewolf au but not rly. warnings. crying. separation. blood mention. kissing. i know very very little abt &team's storyline so this is def not accurate. pairing. k x fem!reader. wc. 945. request. no. a/n. this ending scene from firework always had my brain spinning since i first watched the mv. i wanted to make a fic out of it for the longest time. if i knew the lore more then i might know what's going on in that scene, but i just took the random inspiration i was getting from the vibes.

You opened your eyes when the moon was half an hour from being at its height. Shrugging off Taki who was sleeping on top of you and carefully stepping out of the huddled pile of the rest of the boys, you made your way over to the shoreline and waited.

It didn’t take long for him to walk up next to you. You wanted to look at him, but you kept your gaze on the water, too afraid that you’d break if you took even one look. The air was heavy and cold, and the pit in your stomach only grew as the seconds went by.

“Yudai.” You finally broke the silence with a whisper, and turned your head to look at him. You immediately wish you hadn’t. 

No, it wasn’t from the dried blood on his hands or the messy hair that made him look even more attractive than he already was. It was the wetness on his cheeks; the tears that had already escaped his eyes to slide slowly down until they hit the sand. 

“I just don’t think it’s safe anymore.” He whispered. His voice was choked up and a little raspy.

“W-we were doing fine, though. We were holding on.” You tried to argue with him, but you knew it would be of little use. The past few months had been less than ideal, especially for the younger boys. You just couldn’t think of accepting whatever Yudai was suggesting. 

“We weren’t— We aren’t. We’re not okay, Y/n. You know we’re not.” He let out a heavy sigh and brushed the tears off his cheeks. “I can’t keep asking Yuma to go on food duty. He flinches if he even sees a bug. If we keep this up, they’re all going to be traumatized. I don’t want them to live like this.”

“I know. But don’t you think it’s too extreme? Isn’t there any other way?”

“No one is going to mess with you once I’m gone. You know they’re only after me in the first place.” He reasoned. You knew he was right. He was always right— always sensible while you were selfish.

“I don’t want to go on without you.” You said, a single tear slipping out.

He looked away from you, back at the water lapping at the shore and the moon shining brightly against the sand.

“I’ll find you again. Once I get them, I’ll find you again.” He muttered. You reached for his hand weakly. You knew you shouldn’t. Any amount of contact with him would make it a million times harder for both of you, but you couldn’t stand it. You couldn’t stand being right next to him and not embracing him; not touching him in some way, providing any comfort that you could. You knew he desperately needed it.

He didn’t shake off your hand, which was what you were most afraid of. The fact that he still held you with the same warmth simultaneously made it better and so much worse. You weren’t sure how you would survive for any amount of time without him.

“What if you can’t find me again?” You whispered your worry aloud and Yudai squeezed your hand. His hand was cold despite the warmth of his love. His fingers were practically icicles and the dried blood still stuck to them didn’t help. You didn’t mind the cold or the blood. All you wanted was one last chance to hold him.

“I will find you. I promise.” He assured you, resting his forehead against yours. A tear fell from his eyes and landed on your cheek. You reached up one of your hands to cup his face.

“I’ll wait for you. Even if it takes 10 years, or 20, or 50— I’ll still be waiting.” You promised him back.

He nodded, silently agreeing that he would also wait for you. His breath was cold hitting your lips; so cold that the thought of hypothermia crossed your mind. But you knew you had no time to ask about it or to worry. You had seen him get through worse; a bit of exposure to the chill of the winter wouldn’t be the end of him.

Though his lips were cold, the kiss was warm. You hoped it warmed his body as much as it warmed yours. It spread from your heart to your stomach and up your neck to your head. You felt light as if you were floating. The dread that was weighing in your stomach for so long lessened as you thought of his promise.

This wasn’t the end. It was just a pause. He was going to find you again.

When he broke off the kiss, you knew you didn’t have much time left, so you pulled him close into your arms for your last hug. He hugged you tightly, as if you were the one disappearing and not him. And as soon as he started pulling away again you wanted to cry, or pull him back, or try to think of a better solution— anything to not watch him walking away from you.

But you stayed silent. You had already been selfish; wanting one last touch, one last hug, one last kiss. You should have let him go without the promises and without the tears. Watching him disappear before your eyes, giving you one last look before escaping into the trees was like a stab to your heart. You dropped to the sand in tears. The hurt seeped into every part of your body, an ache, a stab, a lurch; it was overpowering.

Surely, the pain would be bearable if you had only loved him less?

↳ &team taglist: @eternalgyu,, @kpoprhia,, @weird-bookworm,, @candewlsy,, @cyberpunksunwoo,, @chiiyuuvv

[luneengene2]

&Team 04 Line : Accidentally Hurt/Injure (Verbally or Physically) You During an Argument

• Warnings : Angst content, rant, contains grammatical errors

- Yuma Part : Death of parents, mentioning suicide, insult, mention of mental health

- Jo Part : insecurity, comparison, appearance insult

- Let me know if I'm missing something

• A/N : I don't know why I wanted to make this version for 04 Line after making the version for hyung-line. BTW, if you are sensitive about this, please don't read this content, don't leave malicious comments if you don't like this content. Because this is just story content that has nothing to do with the real world.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

• YUMA

(rockstar!yuma x fem!reader)

The sudden death of your parents was a nightmare you never expected to come true. Losing a parent is the same as losing light, the world seems pitch black. And you don't even have the energy to move.

Your parents died in a train accident, at that time you were on campus to start your annual practical exam.

If your brother Jo is not by your side, you might really not be sane anymore, because you would immediately experience severe depression and even hurt yourself. Not only Jo, there is one person who is always trying to make you survive. Your beloved lover, Nakakita Yuma.

Yuma is a rock star, he is famous, many girls are in love with him. However, Yuma chose you. A simple girl who always made him laugh. After the death of your parents, Yuma was always by your side whenever you needed him.

You tried to commit suicide several times, but Yuma always succeeded in calming you down. However, Yuma is also still an ordinary human. Sometimes, he has a tired side because he keeps seeing you not being able to control yourself. When he was tired or even at work, Jo suddenly often called him, telling him that you had hurt yourself. And like it or not, Yuma still comes to see you. In fact, he was also very tired and stressed because of his work.

"Eat it, Y/N. You have to eat," Yuma said patiently, he handed you a spoonful of rice. But you didn't respond to his words. Your eyes just stare blankly ahead. Blank. It's like there's no life there.

"I'm already here, but you still don't want to eat? Y/N, don't go on like this," No response again. Yuma took a deep breath, he had to stay calm when you were in a condition like this.

"Y/N-"

"Didn't I tell you I don't want to eat yet, Yuma?" You cut Yuma off before he told you to eat again. "Your therapist told you to eat, and Jo wants you to eat too. I want you to get better," Yuma said softly.

You chuckled when Yuma said that. "Get Better? I'm not sure I can recover after my parents are gone forever," You said, then your gaze went blank again.

"You won't recover if you continue like this, your parents will be sad there if their daughter continues like this," — Yuma

"If they're sad, I'm sadder here, Yuma. They just left me like that," — You

"This fate is bittersweet, Y/N. But I beg you, fight your bitter fate and try to get up," — Yuma

"You keep saying that, Yuma. You don't understand how it is to be in my position, how tired I am when fate keeps beating me over and over again. I don't understand why people just keep saying that and telling me to get up and let it go. Doing that is not as easy as turning your palm. I always get those useless words, which still make me not enthusiastic about living," You said that because you were provoked by emotion, the sadness was getting sharper, and also because you were tired. You were 'less' conscious when you said that.

However, Yuma actually lost his patience, his facial expression immediately changed completely to become angry and unfriendly. He places your tablespoon roughly on the plate. Put the plate on your nightstand until it makes quite a loud sound.

"Then what kind of words do you want to be useful for you, Princess?" Yuma asked sarcastically, he clenched his wrist. "You think the world really has to pivot towards you? Do you want everyone to always be useful to you? So, you think everyone who supports you with words is useless? Not everyone is obliged to understand your position, because you don't necessarily understand other people's positions. Many people sacrifice their time to entertain you, including me! Right now my schedule is busy, I'm stressed. And when Jo called that you were hurting yourself, I was immediately stressed too. I'm tired too, Y/N. Tired of seeing you don't change and you even say things like that. So you've been saying I'm useless all this time?" Yuma asked annoyed, you realized your mistake, not daring to look at Yuma. You even crumpled the blanket that was on top of you.

"Just so you know, I sacrificed my time and career hours so I could accompany you. Imagine you are in my position, when you are tired from work, Your brother called me that you were doing something that was hurting yourself. I'm always stressed and worried when I hear the news, not to mention the sharp demands of my job. And you can easily say that my words are useless. Are you hungry for attention? Do you just want validation, pity? Many girls are in your position but not as dramatic as you. Next time, when Jo calls me again, I don't want to have anything to do with an insane girl like you again until you are completely healed," Yuma said harshly at the end of the sentence. He was tired, and his tiredness was already at a terrible stage. And if he is in that position, his emotions will overflow, and sometimes he will say harsh words beyond his control.

"I apologize on Y/N's behalf, Yuma," Hearing Jo's voice, Yuma immediately looked towards the door. He saw Jo standing in front of your bedroom door. He didn't realize Jo was already there, when you also looked emotional and angry earlier. Yuma could see the look in Jo's eyes, disappointed, angry and sad. In that instant, Yuma immediately realized what he had said to you.

Jo entered your room, walking towards Yuma, giving him a bitter smile. "I'm sorry if Y/N and I have been a bother to you after the death of our parents. Sorry if Y/N makes you worried and stressed, forgive her too because she always bothers you. Next time, I really won't bother you," Jo said softly. He was quite hurt because his sister was called insane by Yuma, but he didn't blame Yuma. Jo also immediately understood what Yuma's condition was like.

Yuma immediately shook his head in panic. "Jo, I didn't mean it like—"

"I understand your position, there's no need to be afraid or feel guilty," Jo cut slowly but sharply. Yuma became increasingly panicked seeing Jo's calm expression, but Yuma knew that behind Jo's calm expression, the man must be hiding sadness.

Yuma looked at you who were already flooded with tears, from squeezing your hands into the blanket it was clear that you wanted to scream, and it definitely hurt. "Y/N, don't listen to what I said just now, darling. Please don't take my words to heart, I beg you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really don't understand your position, darling. You didn't do anything wrong, I'm in the wrong here," Before Yuma touched you, Jo pulled him away slowly, still smiling. "It's time for you to rest and go home, I know you are very tired after facing my sister again, go home, Yuma. Calm your mind, you need to rest," Jo said softly, but Yuma really didn't want to leave you. "Jo, you can be mad at me, but—"

"I'm not mad at you, I understand your position now. Y/N and I have been giving you trouble all this time," Yuma shook his head, he tried to reverse Jo's belief, that he didn't feel in trouble, but it seemed like Jo didn't want to cause Yuma any more trouble.

"Jo—"

"Go home, Yuma. Y/N also needs rest, it's almost late at night, you have a stage schedule tomorrow, right?" Jo cut in again, and Yuma knew, it seemed like Jo was 'throwing him away' subtly so he wouldn't feel even more guilty.

Yuma lost, he sighed then took his bag. Before completely leaving in front of you and Jo, Yuma stroked your hair and then gave your head a long kiss.

As he entered his car, he cursed harshly several times and got angry at himself for not being able to control his emotions in front of you. Moreover, he uttered insults that were not appropriate.

• JO

(Basketball player!Jo x Nerd!fem!reader)

"Why did you have to be the representative for the photo shoot, Jo?" You looked at Jo sadly when he was just busy playing basketball. You and him were on the basketball court which was relatively quiet, because Jo didn't want to go home from there yet.

"Yeah, because I'm the captain of my team," Jo said lightly.

"But doesn't it have to be the captain?" — You

"Yes, but my coach chose me." — Jo

"But you can refuse," — You

"I can't refuse my coach," — Jo

"But it hurts me," Jo let out a rough breath when you said that, he turned around to look at you. "It's just a photo shoot, Y/N. There's nothing to worry about," Jo said which made you even sadder, you smiled faintly at him. "This photo shoot for the school sports magazine certainly worries me. You know, the cheerleading captain who will be photographed with you is one of the girls who has a big crush on you. She's also the girl who doesn't like me because I'm dating you," Jo rubbed his face roughly, because you were always sensitive when he was close to lots of girls, whether it was just for a project or something else. "It's just a photo, Y/N! No more than that, don't overdo it like that," Jo said, he was starting to look annoyed at your behavior.

"Yeah, photos that can hurt my feelings! You always don't understand how I feel," You said vehemently. Jo slammed the basketball roughly. "You always act childish when I only have projects with girls. Come on, Y/N! Try to understand my position too!" Jo growled in frustration, but you also got emotional. "Not just photos, but any means he can find to get you. I'm not stupid, all the girls love you openly, they flirt with you even though they know you're my boyfriend!" You shouted harshly at Jo. "Oh or are you happy because you can deal with beautiful girls, you're bored with me, right?" You continued, and it ended up leading to words that he was completely unaware of.

"Yes! I enjoy dealing with beautiful girls?! Yes, I'm bored with you, that's why I always enjoy dealing with beautiful girls!" Jo responded to your scream no less harshly. You also jumped in surprise when he shouted at you with words that quite hurt you. "You should be self-aware, if you want to be in the position of a girl who can be with me without fear or insecurity, you should change yourself! Don't remain static as a nerd girl who can only be blindly jealous but can't change herself one bit!" Jo continued sharply, hie mouth completely unknown to him because he was saying words that you shouldn't have heard.

"Be beautiful if you want to be like them! You can't get into cheerleading extracurriculars, and you're just complaining. Not trying to change! I also wonder why I could fall in love with you, crazy about you. Even though there are many girls who are more beautiful than you," Jo's last words succeeded in breaking your heart. And you start to feel like you should have rejected him when he asked you out. You don't think about the risks of what he might say if he's emotional. You also feel that what Jo said is also true. You should change yourself, not just complain and complain about your insecurities.

Jo, who was still annoyed, immediately took his bag, he was about to leave you out of the field. "Do you want our relationship to end, Jo?" You asked in a shaky voice as he walked quickly after bumping into your shoulder. Jo immediately stiffened when he heard your hoarse voice. This is the first time he's heard your voice this strained.

He looked over at you who just stood there, your eyes bloodshot, holding back the tears that were really about to come out. And for the first time too, he saw your eyes look this broken.

"If I really can't meet your standards, let's just end this relationship. Find another girl of your dreams," You continued what you were saying. You said that with fear, afraid that he was really bored and didn't love you anymore.

"You can date any girl, any girl who meets your standards. I just don't want to ruin your youth anymore because of dealing with a girl like me," In that instant, Jo immediately seemed to have been hit by a stupid word. He doesn't realize and doesn't understand that you are the one who is hurt the most here, not him.

"No, Y/N. Don't say that, my dream is with you," Jo said frantically. He walked quickly over to you, when he was near you again. He pulled you into his arms, you wanted to struggle, but the more you struggled, the stronger his hug became. As a result, you just cried loudly in his arms, screaming angrily several times, but Jo didn't care about that.

"You didn't ruin my youth, I almost ruined my dreams myself. Please forgive me. You're right, I never understood your condition and pain," Jo's tears also flowed quite fast. He's afraid, afraid that his dreams will disappear if you leave. Because, his dream is with you, not with another girl.

"Please, don't leave me. I need you more than anything, I will give you what you should get," Jo said hoarsely, she placed a soft kiss on your forehead, not caring that you were sweaty from crying.

[kimakento]

idk if yall have watched pyramid game but get ready for a k oneshot thats loosely based on pyramid game (esp baek harin’s character) its in the making, and the ideas have js been flowing out my head

[heart4gyu]

friends date || nicholas x reader

note: just a little something i thought of to get me started ^_^ hope y’all like it and suggestions would be rlyy appreciated ! also should i continue this ? pt.2!!

you really never did understand why your friends would tease you two so often, "love birds," they'd say when they found you together. and it always upset you because you didn't want him to feel uncomfortable around you. your relationship was perfect, you'd never met someone more compatible with you and he was your best friend in the whole world... you wouldn't change that for anything.

you had known him since elementary school, he transferred to your school in the middle of grade 2. he was a quiet kid who always kept to himself, he’d never really tried that hard to make any friends either. but you had always noticed how he loved recess, he would beam at just the mention of it. yet when the time came he never ran around screaming like the other kids, instead he liked the old torn up tire swing sitting at the far end of the playground. he wouldn’t even swing on it just lay there and look up at the branches or stare up at his hands that traced things in the air. guess you could say you had always been a people watcher and something about him just caught your attention from the start. “hey what’s your name?” you said abruptly and he sat up on the swing, startled by your sudden appearance. “why are you always alone? and why are you always staring at the tree? what’s up there?” you continued, looking up into the tree as he listened to you go on. “i’m nicholas… and the tree is my friend,” he answered after a while. “the tree can’t be your friend… you should really make some people friends,” you said and he glared at you for a second when suddenly he had an idea. “fine then,” he said jumping off the swing and taking his place right beside you, still staring. “what are you doing?” you asked, backing away. “i’m making a friend,” he replied, a smug little look on his face. and ever since that day he’d follow you around everywhere, around the playground, the classroom, the library, the cafeteria. at first you hated it, and you’d whine to your teacher every day, “teacher, nicholas won’t leave me aloneeee,” you’d say. and she’d separate the two of you, only for him to be right by your side again during the next activity. after a while you got used to it, i mean he wasn’t all bad, he’d bring you snacks and show you interesting books. eventually he’d let you lay on the tire swing next to him and he’d tell you stories about all the people the tree had met. he had a vivid imagination and that was one of your favorite things about him.

the years went by and the two of you only got closer, you knew each other like the back of your own hand. as you became teens and all the other kids spoke about boyfriends and girlfriends, the two of you didn’t change at all. you didn’t feel the need for all that stuff plus you had each other and that was enough. but your friends could never quite let go of the fact that you were basically a couple, yet you couldn’t even fathom it. nicholas, your best friend, and you, a couple? no, no it would never work. all throughout high school you’d always let the teasing slide. by the time you graduated and made it into college, you couldn’t help but wonder what a relationship would be like, what falling in love was like. but no, that wouldn’t work because then you’d have to make time for two important people in your life: nicholas and your significant other. you simply wouldn’t be able to choose between them, still the thoughts of holding someone’s hand and having your first kiss always lingered in the back of your mind…

it wasn’t until your own mom pointed it out that you really noticed it. “mom,” you called out from the kitchen, “i’m leaving in a bit.” “aww, you going on another date?” she said as she walked in, making her way over to the sink. “what? mom, no, i’m just going to hang out with nicholas,” you replied, shaking your head while still looking down at your phone. “you know, it’s called a date when you ‘hang out’ with your boyfriend,” she said, as she dried her hands and turned around to face you. you looked up at her with a puzzled look on your face and she looked just as confused as you. “mom… nicholas isn’t my boyfriend…” you finally replied, and she was shocked. “what do you mean he’s not your boyfriend?!” she said, mouth agape. “he’s my best friend, mother, we’ve known each other since elementary school, how did you not know?!” you asked, just completely taken aback that your own mom would think that. “well i don’t know, you two sure do act like a couple… why not just make him your boyfriend already,” she stated, like if it was the most obvious thing to do. “mom!? i don’t-” you started but were interrupted by a knock at the door. “he’s here” you said grabbing your bag from the counter, “listen i don’t like him like that, so don’t mention a word of this again… like ever.” you opened the door and there he was, he tried to come in and talk to your mom but you were already pushing him out. “bye mom, see you later,” you said as you closed the door, not looking back to see the adoring look your mom had on her face.

[jjayeongi]

EP 2 。。。STILL DONT KNOW DUDE

previous || masterlist || next

in which nicholas keeps pushing you away and acting quite coldly toward you despite your attempts to make friends with him. no matter how hard you try, jay, your brother tells you to stop because he believes nicholas would never give in. besides you have a secret admirer right? who always sends you letters, so, let's just forget him.

📝 i hate my humor

taglist open @angelic-jeonghan1004 @bluehourjun @nichobins @tya0 @renjunba3 @dxlicateee @jaxavance @dancinginthetaillight @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @jaylabb @diestheticu @cherriegyu @lcv3lies @paolennenicole @o-0hypen

©jjayeongi do not plagiarize.

[coqji]

おなまえわなんですか　じです

おいくつですか　じうはちさいです　☆○*゜💗☘️🫧

literate roleplayer. 18 ic & ooc. &team harua fc.

oc infor . . . : name is nakamoto iruji ( otherwise known as ji ) じ

of japanese descent. にほんじんです

coquette aesthetic . sub, bottom. down for any plots. open to smut, angst, fluff, or thriller based rps.

poly <3 can be in a relationship with 1 person or more at a time. often monogamous, up to open relationships if you are.

[raenis22]

How Do You Both Meet (Them as Strangers)

Maknae Line

Harua

-You a student in week days and do volunteer work in weekends

-You and nature are inseparable as you were grew up in a naturelist family which made you so close with nature since small.

-"Mom, I gonna go now... Call me if you need anything!" you said, walked to the door

-"Alright sweetie, have fun at the shelter" your mom said.

-You nodded and walked out. Instead of walking, you decided to ride your bike.

-"What a good weather" you mumbled as you rode your bike.

-You arrived at the shelter and before anything, someone bumped to you accidentally

-"Woah woah WATCH OUT!"

- Yeah it ended with both of you fell to the ground.

-"Woah you should be careful where are you going" you said.

-"Sorry, I don't look where I was going... My bad, let me help you" he said, stood up and handed his hand.

-You grabbed his hand and stood up. "It's okay, just be careful next time" you replied

-You realised something about that boy. "Wait, are you also a volunteer?"

-The boy nodded. "It's actually my first time but I somehow lost my way here" The boy shyly confessed.

-"Ah don't worry, I will show you the way. I'm YN LN, nice to meet ya"

-"The name is Harua, nice to meet you too, YN"

Taki

-Strangers to neighbours one, classics.

-You just return home from school and so excited to finally get home.

-"I'm home!" You said as you entered your house.

-"Hey honey, welcome home." your mom welcomed you.

-"Ah finally weekends... I gonna-" before you can finish, your mother interrupts.

-"YN! Before you go anyway, can you help me with something?" your mom called.

-"What is it mom?"

-"Could you bring this to our new neighbour this? They moved in this morning and their house is down streets" your asked and handed you a food container.

-"Okay mom" you agreed and took the container.

-After a few minutes of walking, you finally arrived at the new neighbour's house

-"This is must be it" you said to yourself and saw a boy is busy with his phone.

-"Erm hi? Are you the new neighbour?" you asked.

-The boy looked at you, surprised and nodded his head.

-"Ah Great... My mom asked to bring this to you and your family" you said as you handed him the food container

-"Woah thank you for this...what's your name? I'm Taki"

-"I'm YN and welcome to the neighbourhood"

-Yeah it's boring I know😭

Maki

-"Quiet guys... You know if you keep be this loud, we all gonna face the consequences, right?" you as the class monitor said.

-"Relax YN, the discipline teacher is absent today! It's our freedom day" one of them said happily.

-"You said that like there are no other teachers around" you replied, tired with this one kind of classmate.

-Knock Knock knock!

-"Hey YN, Mrs.Johnson is looking for you" a student called you.

-"Alright and you guys, control your volume" you said before you left your classroom.

-You quickly to the staff room and saw Mrs.Johnson with an unfamiliar boy, must a new student.

-"Ah good, YN over here! This is your new classmate, Maki. Can you show him around the school before go back to your class? I have a meeting so I unable to give him a tour myself" Mrs.Johnson said.

-"Sure Mrs.Johnson, I will" you responded.

-As Mrs.Johnson left, you introduced yourself.

-"I'm YN, your class monitor and nice to meet you, Maki"

[so-sleep]

weed (foggy?? or rain too i guess. but dont rely on it)

any prns, the more insane, the better

art tag: #weeds art

current hyperfixes: rottmnt, deltarune, undertale, sonic, omori, amphibia

my stuff:

[orcelito]

The Spotify diagnosis for my music taste lol

I can't even argue against it

[thataaabattery]

BEAST SPOILERS Akutagawa Siblings Edit

Sister- Eve

[thedaremaster]

IDOL's Child

Idols Child : Bowed In Shadow - Prolouge - Wattpad

Prolouge is out now on Wattpad!!!

Hope you guys like it. :DD

[shinmiyovvi]

As promised, I made myself some OTP and Self ship playlist for me to listen to but I also wanted to share them with you guys as well, maybe you can give me some songs to add to the playlist 💖

[heavenlyakin]

starboy - atsumu miya x fem!reader

wc: ~5.8k

cw: fem reader, on-page drug use, alcohol consumption, the reader has red hair and hazel eyes (sorry, not sorry), reader blushes, and a little angst towards the end.

a/n: 18+ only please. I use “--” to switch POVs in this fic and “ – – –” is a time skip. I really hope you like this silly little AU! It’s giving Wattpad kid grows up and uses Tumblr and AO3 now. Sorry there’s no smut in this, but I might write a part 2 (please don’t ask for one because that’ll kill my vibes). If you’re interested in the playlist mentioned that they listen to, I’ll be happy to link it!

Part 2

—

Every crowd is the same, but somehow different in a multitude of ways. It’s a dichotomy that Atsumu hasn’t quite figured out yet. After years of touring and performing he thought he knew about everything about entertaining a crowd and getting them riled up. He’d sold out more than enough shows to back this idea up. 

However, on night two of touring his third studio album, he notices you in the crowd. The glitter on your eyes falling to your cheeks reflects the stage lighting and draws him to your eyes. That’s when he notices your red hair, the burgundy red is a sight to see. He winks like he would to anyone else, but something in him yearns to walk back down the catwalk to you again. He resists, knowing he needs to keep doing his job.

But, he does look for you the next night. 

He’s glad to see you’re back. He’s noticed fans going to multiple shows before and has invited them to the after-parties for being so loyal, so he thinks he wants to extend the offer. The other girls that seem to stick around are nice enough, and the band never seems to mind. When he’s changing between the third and fourth song of the night, he tells his manager to send someone out to see if you want to join them after the show. 

He’s happy to hear back after the show that you accepted. 

Outside the city limits, the rented house is big enough for hundreds of people to move around freely, but Atsumu got over massive parties after his first tour. The glamor of the drinking, drugs, and even the people he thought he loved being around seemed to lose their shine. With only about 30 people here now, he’s much more comfortable in this space. 

From his seat on the velvet couch with his brother, he notices you come in; walking through the door in the same outfit you’d worn to his show tonight. The glittery lavender tube top is something to see, but his eyes linger on your legs, covered in iridescent shimmering tights under white shorts. Your smile and wave to another girl across the room makes him look away. 

“How many more nights are we staying in LA?” Osamu asks his brother, taking a rip from the bong after. The smoke floats above the brothers, whirling in the colorful lavender lighting. 

“Two more, then the tour really kicks off in the States.” He tells him, taking the bong from him and taking a hit. 

He coughs after the smoke leaves his body and Osamu laughs at him. Atsumu has tried plenty, but he’s no longer used to the feeling. He takes a sip of water, leaning back on the couch and stretching his legs out on the table, careful to avoid Osamu’s stash. 

“I think this will be better than even last time,” he tells him. “I’m glad you decided to come with me.” 

Osamu shrugs, “I needed a break from the restaurant.” 

He’s not staying the whole tour with Atsumu, just the first leg of the U.S. tour, and then flying back home during the busy season at the restaurant. Osamu has been at his brother’s side since his early days trying to get a studio just to listen to one of his tracks, and now he’s watched him grow into one of the biggest Jpop stars in the world. He’d never tell him, but he’s proud. 

How Atsumu gained his fame is quite the story, hard to believe really. Who would have thought that a little karaoke fun would have led to all this? It still shocks Atsumu to this day. Every night he wonders when the crowds will lessen, when the tickets will stop selling out, and when this dream will all be over. 

“Can we join you?” Your unfamiliar voice sounds like a song Atsumu wants to write, but he shakes it off.

He’s slept with fans, had his fill, and he’s too old for this now. Nothing is exciting about someone who would do anything for you just because they are obsessed with you, not because they know you… the real you.

 It’s just the excitement for the new tour that’s getting to him. 

“Of course,” Osamu answers before Atsumu can tell you and your friend to sit. 

Atsumu ignores the irritation that washes over him as you sit beside Osamu, your thighs touching. He ignores the way Osamu smiles and drapes his arm over your shoulder. He ignores the sting in his chest that’s unlike anything he’s felt before. 

He looks away as your friend sits on the couch beside him. 

–

Your friend starts talking to him and you notice Atsumu engages her in a friendly manner, but he’s reserved. Something you hadn’t expected. His brother, on the other hand, isn’t shy. The way Osamu’s thumb rubs circles onto your soft skin is enough to drive you wild. However, you don’t want to be that girl. 

“Do you always tour with your brother?” You ask, making conversation. You know he doesn’t, but that won’t stop you from playing the part. 

“No, I’ve never joined him before,” Osamu tells you and you look past him to Atsumu, he’s engaged in conversation with the girl you met tonight. 

Honestly, tonight feels like a fanfiction you read when you were younger, getting to meet the band after the show and potentially fucking the lead or another member. The lead singer’s brother isn’t exactly who you imagined this playing out with, but you’re old enough now to know life is rarely like it is in stories… even if you did get invited to your favorite artist’s after-party. Despite the girl flinging herself towards Atsumu, after telling you that you couldn’t, you’re not going to let this ruin a good time. 

However, when you look over at her and Atsumu, it seems like he’s more interested in the bottle of water between his hands than the girl on his right. Serves her right for being a bitch about you wanting to talk to him. 

“Have you always been a fan?” Osamu asks you, and you realize you were probably spacing out. 

“Oh, yeah. For the last few years anyway after his debut album.” You answer and he nods. This conversation is going nowhere. “Do you want a drink?” You ask him, seeing that his cup is empty. 

He smiles and nods. “Come with me to refill it.” 

– 

Atsumu watches as you leave with his brother, disappearing into another room obscured from his view. He couldn’t hear what you were talking about with Osamu, thanks to the girl beside him rambling on about a festival she saw him at a few years ago. He can’t find it in him to care whatever she's saying about it. 

Where is Osamu taking you? His irritation is present on his face, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed as if he can see through the walls. 

“Are you listening to me?” The girl, whose name he’s sure she told him, asks him. 

“Not really,” he smiles to soften the blow. “Excuse me,” he gets up off the couch, leaving her behind without glancing back for her reaction. 

He finds Osamu at the bar with you, wrapped up in conversation and mixing a drink that you take a sip of as he approaches. 

“Can I talk to you?” Atsumu asks his brother. 

Osamu looks surprised but nods. “I’ll be back in a moment, doll.” 

“Not her,” Atsumu tells him, his voice barely containing the blinding feelings he’s experiencing all at once. “Not tonight.” 

“Calling dibs?” He smirks, a laugh falling from his lips. “Fine, fine,�� he shrugs after seeing the look of irritation on his twin’s face. “I’ll go talk to the blonde you were ignoring then,” he says and leaves the room. 

Atsumu watches as Osamu goes to the living room of the rented house. The girl’s face lights up when he speaks to her. She drops her phone on the couch beside her and gives him the attention she wasn’t receiving. He turns back and sees you, sipping from a red solo cup and looking defeated. 

“Why so sad?” He asks, leaning on the bar and flashing his winning smile. Your eyes light up and he sees they’re hazel.

You shrug, “I’m not. Just bored.” 

Bored… she’s bored? 

– 

Fuck, why did you say that to him? Atsumu Miya, the biggest star in Japan and maybe even the world right now… thinks you’re bored at his party. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you stutter your words, trying to change his confused look to one of more understanding. “I’m just, not used to this.” 

He chuckles, standing up and shoving his hands into his pockets. “Oh, I get that.” He tells you. “I guess this is a lot for someone who hasn’t been to our tour before.” 

“I’ve been to your other tours.” You fire back, brows furrowed. 

“I’ve never seen you before tonight.” He grins, and you think he’s enjoying picking on you. 

“I’ve never been able to afford front row before now. I’ve always been in the lower sections.  I don’t think even your pretty eyes can see that far back.” You take a sip of the punch that has something in it, maybe vodka. You’re not well-versed in alcoholic beverages enough to differentiate between them. 

“I see,” he says and looks up towards the ceiling, teetering back on his heels. 

Something about this little movement takes you by surprise. It makes him… real? You knew he was a real person, of course, but something so casual never crossed your mind. That’s the thing with celebrity idolization, you lose their sense of humanity. 

That’s weird, isn’t it? But… it’s true. 

“You seem a little bored yourself,” you comment, setting your drink down on the bar, but keeping it in front of you. “Not enjoying your own party?” 

He looks at you, something on his face you can’t quite read. “It’s just not the same as it used to be, ya know. It’s more of an obligation.” 

“You shouldn’t live your life for others.” This time, he frowns at you. 

–

Is she serious? The look on her face makes it seem so. 

Atsumu laughs, running his hand through his hair, feeling the gel still in it from the show. “I don’t think that’s true with my profession.” 

Everything about him is for others. 

She shrugs, her red hair falling over her face. She brushes it away and tucks it behind her ear and he wishes he’d done it for her. “I don’t think that has to be true.” 

He leans on the bar, his elbows against the wood and hands supporting his face. “If you say so.” 

– – – 

Osamu leaves after three weeks, but that’s a quarter of the tour. They visited 9 cities during this time, but the parties started to dwindle. Everything from the second night of his show in LA is still stuck in his head. Red hair and hazel eyes haunt his dreams, even now. Plus, he can’t get out of his head what she said. 

You shouldn’t live your life for others. 

Isn’t that what he’s always done? Each album, every show, every meet and greet, every television or radio appearance, it’s all been for them… the fans. He puts a piece of himself in it all. 

How many more pieces does he have left? 

“Astumu,” his manager's voice grabs his attention. “The bus is stopping for fuel. Do you want anything from the station?” 

“I can go in. It’s late, there won’t be a crowd of people.” He likes to go do his own bidding when he can, even though many times it ends with security having to drag him through crowds. 

His manager frowns. “We don’t have security ready to take you in.” 

“Who the hell is going to be out this late? It’s 3 a.m. in the middle of nowhere outside Pittsburgh. No one will be there.” Atsumu says, probably more harshly than he intended. 

He sighs, but his manager moves out of the way and lets him leave the tour bus. The chilly air hits his warm skin, making him shiver as he approaches the gas station. He recalls the last update from the driver. They’re only 60 or so miles south of Pittsburgh. Then they’ll spend three nights there for the two shows this weekend. 

Atsumu was right, there’s almost no one here. The cashier looks half asleep at the register, and there are few cars in the lot. He turns towards the coolers full of drinks, looking for a Gatorade he likes. He locates the light blue color, opens the cooler, and grabs the cold drink. 

As he turns, his eyes catch on red hair walking down the aisle next to his. He can’t help himself, he follows it. 

“-----,” he says, shocked that you’re in this random gas station. 

Looking at you, he takes in your appearance. So different from the night he met you. You’re in casual clothes, pink sweatpants hanging off your hips, with a matching sweatshirt. Your hair is still down, but something about it looks different, maybe it’s the waves in it. You’re without makeup too, but he’s never seen someone so beautiful. 

“Atsumu?” You look as shocked as he is. “What are you doing here?” You wave your hand around, and he notices the bag of salt and vinegar chips you’re holding in it. 

“Heading to Pittsburgh for our shows this weekend. What are YOU doing here?” Atsumu raises his brows, smiling at you. 

“I, uh, I live here. Well, close to here.” You tell him, and he nods but is more confused than ever. 

“Then why were you in LA for my show? Wouldn’t Pittsburgh be an easier show to go to for you?” 

“Quite the interrogator, huh?” You laugh and Atsumu wants to record it and put it in a song. “If you must know, I won tickets and a hotel room by the venue on a radio contest. I was lucky caller number 7 and got two nights to see you.” 

“Oh,” he never considered that. “Are you coming this weekend?” 

“Oh no, I didn’t get tickets. They’re really expensive.” 

Atsumu’s heart sinks. You won’t be there. 

“Come with me. I think I can get you in.” He winks and you laugh. A few moments pass and he realizes you didn’t take it as seriously as he meant it. “I’m serious. Come with us.” 

“Atsumu, you can’t be serious.” You laugh, cheeks blushing. He stares at you, again something on his face that you can’t quite read.  “Oh, you are.” 

He nods. “Pretty serious.” 

“Look at me,” you gesture with your hands at your body. “I can’t just hop on the tour bus with you and head off to Pittsburgh. I don’t have anything on me.” 

“I can get you whatever you need. I have assistants.” He feels desperate now like this moment is going to change the projection of his life. “Please, —--. I want you there.” 

You close your eyes and let out a sigh. “Fine, but we have to go to my place and get my stuff.” 

“We can do that!” 

–

Atsumu is basically jumping with excitement and you wonder how in the absolute fuck this is happening right now. Of course, he’d find you on your 3 a.m. snack run when you look an absolute mess. 

“Okay, let me just go pay for these,” you start to turn for the register, but Atsumu snatches the bag of chips and Dr. Pepper from your hands. 

“I got these.” He smiles and the irritation leaves your body. Fuck it, he can afford it. 

“Thank you,” you tell him, walking with him to the register. “Are you like… allowed to come with me to get my stuff or are you going to have to wait here for me?” 

“Allowed?” He laughs, tapping his card on the card reader. The familiar ping rings in your ears as it accepts the charge. “Of course, I am. I do have autonomy, ya know.” 

“Sorry, Mr. Pop Star. Didn’t know if there were any rules you have to follow.” You tell him as he opens the door for you. 

“Well, we do need to go tell my manager.” He sighs. “He’s kind of a hard ass. But he can’t stop me.” 

“Can I wait in my car for that?” You laugh, not wanting to awkwardly be standing there when they have it out over him going home with a strange girl. 

“Yeah,” he laughs. “Which one is it?” 

You unlock your car, the lights flashing. “That one. I’ll warm it up for us.” 

The nights have begun to become chilly, fall setting in and all. You actually turned your heat on in your apartment tonight for the first time since late spring. You part ways, Atsumu heading towards the bus fueling area and you to your car. It’s a good fifteen minutes before you see him walking to your car, waving his hands with a big smile. You unlock the car and he slides in the passenger seat. 

“Went well?” You ask. 

“Oh, no. He’s absolutely pissed, but that’s not my problem.” He buckles himself in and you laugh. 

“Well, he’s gonna be even more pissed when it takes an hour to get back. I live twenty minutes from here.” 

“Oh well,” he shrugs as you put the car in drive. 

The radio softly plays his second album and you feel your cheeks warm. “Sorry, I can change it,” you reach for the radio. 

He stops you, his cold hand touching yours. You pull back, embarrassed and smiling. 

“I like this one a lot. I wish we could still play it.” He tells you, turning it up. 

“Why don’t you play it anymore?” 

“It just didn’t do as well as others.” He shrugs and you feel bad. It’s not your favorite song, but it isn’t in your bottom tier either. 

“You should play it tomorrow.” 

“I’ll think about it,” he looks over at you and smiles. 

The rest of the car ride you spend humming along to his second album, smiling and giggling when he sings certain lines to mess with you, and having genuinely one of the best times in your life. Hearing Atsumu live, even at his shows, has never sounded like this. 

This feels… intimate. 

“Welcome to my humble abode,” you say pulling into the apartment parking lot. “Please be quiet though. My roommate is sleeping. Plus she might scream if she sees you.” 

“A fan?” 

“Yes,” you roll your eyes and get out of the car. 

Then you remember… the poster in your room… 

“Oh. Um.” You stop him at the door of your apartment. “No laughing at me, but I might have your Rolling Stone cover on my bedroom wall.” 

Atsumu laughs, shaking his head. His hair falls over his forehead. “That’s okay. I won’t tease you…. For now.” 

“Fine,” you huff and open the door, welcoming him to the apartment. It’s dark so you turn on your flashlight on your phone “Remember, be quiet until we get to my room.” 

He nods and follows you. You take off your shoes, and he does the same, then you show him to your room. To your surprise, he is quiet the whole way to your bedroom. Once you turn the lights on and shut the door behind him you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding. Your eyes immediately go to the poster adjacent to you. 

“Remember, don’t laugh at me.” You turn to him and he puts his hands up in defense, a goofy smile on his face. “Also, I’m sorry about the state of my room.” There are clothes strung about, makeup here and there, and who knows what else is all over your dresser. 

“As long as you don’t judge the tour bus, I won’t judge you,” he shrugs and doesn’t look around at the mess. 

You pick up a few shirts on your way to the closet, tossing them in a basket to wash later. Honestly, they could be clean and just left out while you were getting dressed and forgotten about, but you don’t want to take the risk. 

Atsumu is still standing awkwardly by the door. 

“You can sit on my bed if you want,” you laugh, patting the duvet. At least your bed was made tonight. 

He sits, crossing his legs and watching you as you go through your stuff to decide what to bring. It takes a few minutes to decide what you want to wear to the shows, but longer to decide what makeup to throw into a bag to go with them. It’s all probably too much but you finally finish packing. 

“All done!” You declare, turning with two bags to face Atsumu. 

You go to take a step, but your foot catches on a pair of shorts on the floor and you fall on the bed, on top of Atsumu. He reacts, catching you and falling back onto the bed with you hovering over him. He smiles, his face so close to yours now. 

“Are you alright?” He asks, barely above a whisper. 

You part your lips to speak, but you can’t so you close them. Your heart pounds in your chest. Hyper-aware of Atsumu’s hands on your waist, the feeling of your lower bodies smooshed against each other, and his lips oh so close to yours. 

“Yes,” you finally get out and you feel yourself moving towards his lips. 

No, you’re not moving; he is. 

Atsumu’s lips brush against yours, his right hand leaving your waist and cupping your cheek. His lips are warm and taste sweet like a sugary drink. You kiss him back, trying to will your heart to slow down, sure he can feel it pounding in your chest. His thumb rubs against your cheek, the feeling sending shivers down your spine. 

You pull away slowly, catching your breath and looking at Atsumu’s smile. 

–

The way you look at him takes his breath away. That kiss, that feeling, it was unlike anything he’d experienced before. He’s aware of how he’s reacting, wondering if you can feel him through his and your pants or if he’s lucky enough that you don’t think he’s a creep. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, and he brushes your hair away from your face and behind your ear. 

“I’m not.” He’s regretted things in his life, and this will never be one of them. 

You smile and he feels himself relax, “I’m not really sorry either. Well except for the falling on you. That was kinda embarrassing.” 

He laughs, laying his head back on the bed and looking up at the ceiling. All of this feels surreal, even with his life the way it is. He watches as you move off of him, picking up the bags you dropped and shoving a few last-minute items into the larger one. 

“Ready to go?” You ask him and he rolls off the bed and stands. 

“Are you?” He grabs your waist, pulls you into him again, and kisses your forehead. 

You feel hot against his lips and he wonders if it’s because of him. When he looks at you again, your cheeks are flushed, so it definitely is because of him.

“Let me take those,” he grabs the straps of your bags as you relinquish them, allowing him to toss them over his shoulder. 

“Thank you,” you smile at him and he follows you out of the apartment and to your car. 

“You should show me some other music you like on the drive back,” he tells you, placing your bags in the back seat. 

“I’ll let you look at my Spotify and choose,” you smile, starting the car and handing your phone to him. 

“Let’s see what we’re working with here.” He scrolls through your playlists, laughing at the one random country playlist with early 2000s music in it, and selects one of them.

“Are you serious?” You turn your head and stare at him, waiting for the light to turn green. “Not this one.” 

“Too late,” he laughs. “You said I could choose.” 

The car ride is filled with silly country songs he chooses, each one making you yell at him for picking it. He even forced you to explain why you selected each one for the playlist. He can’t remember the last time he had this much fun with someone. 

You pull the car into the gas station parking lot, pulling up close to the tour bus. He looks at the clock and sees it at half past 4. He hopes that he’s able to sleep at least for a few hours on the bus. He watches as you get out, giving himself a second to gather his thoughts before getting out and grabbing your bags. 

To his surprise, his manager doesn’t say anything when they get on the bus. He looks at you, but he can tell it’s not bothering you at least. He shows you to the back of the bus, his room for all intents and purposes. 

“You can put your stuff anywhere you want. We’ll have a hotel room when we get to Pittsburgh soon.” He says then realizes you might want your own room. “Should we ask for your own room?” 

“Do you want me to be in my own room?” You ask him and he shakes his head. 

“I’d hate that, honestly.” 

“Then I’ll stay with you.” You move to sit on the bed, looking around the room. “So, this is how Japan’s sweetheart lives on the road.” 

“It’s as glamorous as it looks,” he laughs, laying on the bed on his side, his head propped up by his hand. “You get used to it pretty quickly, really.” 

You lay down, on your back but turn your face towards him. “Don’t you miss being home, though?” 

He shrugs, “Sometimes. I miss my family more than that really. I was glad Osamu stayed with us up until recently, but I won’t see my mom until the end of the tour.” 

“I’m sure she’s proud of you.” You tell him and he feels his chest warming. You yawn and he realizes how late, well early, it is. 

“You should sleep until we get to Pittsburgh,” he tells you. 

“You should too,” you tell him, eyes fluttering shut. 

–

When you wake up, Atsumu is draped around you, his breath warm on your neck. You smile, taking it in and enjoying the quiet sounds of his breathing. His body is warm against yours and you’re surprised by how comforting this feels. 

How is any of this real?

Yesterday you were working and then decided you needed a break from your dissertation and decided to go get snacks. Now, you’re sleeping on Atsumu’s tour bus in his bed going to his weekend shows. 

A knock on the door grabs your attention and you nudge Atsumu. 

“‘Tsumu,” you whisper, “someone is at the door.” 

“Probably Jeff.” He whispers back. “My manager.” He tears himself off of you and goes to the door. 

“We’re in Pittsburgh. Decided to let you sleep here for a few hours, but we need to check in to the hotel and then get to the venue for sound check.” Jeff sounds no-nonsense through the door. “Get your stuff and let's get moving.” 

Atusmu shuts the door and you set up on the bed. “Please tell me your hotel room has a bathroom.” 

Atusmu laughs, “Of course it does.” 

You gather your bags, grateful you didn’t unpack anything and Atsumu helps you take it up to his hotel room. To your surprise it isn’t in the downtown area close to the venue, but instead closer to the suburbs. Perhaps it’s easier for him to have some privacy this way? 

The hotel room is the largest you’ve ever been in. The room is as large as your apartment, truly. This is more like what you envisioned when you thought about what it would be like to be on tour with Atsumu, and what fanfictions described. 

“I call dibs on the bathroom first,” you say, laughing but completely serious. 

“All yours,” he throws himself on the king-sized bed, seeming to fall asleep instantly. 

You brush your teeth first before hopping in the shower and taking an everything shower. You scrub, shave, wash your hair and face, and then moisturize your entire body after. As you’re drying your hair with the hotel dryer, you wonder if it's bothering Atsumu’s rest. You peek your head out of the door, still wrapped in the hotel robe. 

Atsumu is standing in the middle of the room at the round dining table, eating a slice of orange. “Hey,” he raises his eyebrows, and you close the robe more across your chest. 

“Did you order breakfast?” You ask walking in to sit at the table, clearly full of the food he ordered. 

“Jeff probably did,” he tells you and sits next to you. “He sent more than enough, clearly.” 

You load up a plate with eggs, bacon, and fruit. “Give him my thanks,” you laugh and begin eating. 

As you eat together, Atsumu gives you a rundown of tonight's plans, the show isn’t until 7 and he doesn’t go on until about 8. So you have lots of time to kill, but there’s still soundcheck in the late afternoon. But, the plan is to just hang out here until then. 

“Plenty of time for me to destroy this hotel room and get you in trouble,” you tease. 

“Oh please,” he laughs. “They’d never believe it was me. I have a perfect record of leaving everywhere I stay in great condition.” 

“Whoa, goody-two-shoes on our hands.” You tease and he throws a grape at you. “Oh, there goes your clean record.” You say as it hits the floor and he rolls his eyes. 

– – – 

Atsumu paces around the room and you notice he’s flexing his hands a lot. He’s dressed in a  similar outfit he wore in LA, but a slightly different design. The gold sparkles compliment his skin, and you can’t ignore how nice his muscles look. The vest without a shirt is a good look on him. 

“Nervous?” You ask, picking at the black skirt you chose for tonight. 

“Excited,” he replies. “I love doing this. It makes it all worth it.” 

You can’t help but smile back at him, he looks like he’s glowing and he’s not even under stage lighting yet. Maybe he was born for this. 

“So, I get to sit in this cozy room and enjoy the show on this television while you perform?” You ask. 

“Or, you can come backstage and stand near Jeff. He might not be the best conversationalist, though.” He suggests and you shake your head. 

“If I’m here I’ll at least get to see you change throughout the show.” 

“Pervert,” he teases and you shrug. 

“I’m basically living every fan’s dream right now, let me enjoy it.” You stand up, walking towards him and he takes your hands in his. 

“I hope I’m living up to your expectations,” he looks a little sad and you cock your head. 

“This is more than I ever imagined.” 

He smiles now, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to yours. “Wish me luck,” he says softly. 

You break the space between you and kiss him softly. “Good luck,” you whisper against his lips. 

He hugs you tightly before pulling away and leaving the room to go get in position to take the stage for tonight’s show. You sit back on a chair in the green room, watching the screen as the cameras start to focus on the stage. The show’s set is just like the two nights you spent in LA until he plays the song you requested. He dedicates it to a special someone, and you want to cry. 

He has to mean you, right? 

There isn’t anyone else he’s doing this with, right? 

You’d be naive to believe he isn’t doing this in every city, but some part of you is holding onto a nugget of hope that what he’s showing you is real. However, even if it isn’t you’ll remember this for the rest of your life. 

He joins you for a few minutes a third of the way through the show, and you get to tell him he’s doing amazing. He kisses you before he goes, and then this repeats once more when he changes again. Once the show is over, the band joins him in the green room and you don’t get much time to talk to him. You socialize with everyone, but ultimately end up back at Atsumu’s hotel room. He’s still riding off his high, talking about different nights of the show and how tonight compares. 

“I don’t think there’s been a better crowd, truly.” He tells you, tossing himself back onto the bed. 

You smile and laugh. “Maybe the East Coast is just better than the West.” 

“Maybe,” he laughs and sits up on the bed. “Would it be weird if I asked if you wanted to shower with me?” 

You stop moving, “I- uh-” you stutter and shake your head. 

He gets off the bed, crosses the room to you, and kisses you. “You can say no, it won’t break my heart.” 

He disappears into the bathroom and you let out a sigh of relief. 

–

After Atsumu showers, he finds you on the couch, half asleep watching a rerun of a sitcom he’s not familiar with. 

“Hey,” he says softly, stroking your hair. “The bathroom is free if you need it.”

You come to and nod. “Thank you,” you yawn before going to the bathroom. 

When you emerge you're in black pajamas and your hair braided into two braids. Atsumu can’t take his eyes off of you. He can’t deny your beauty when you’re all done up, but this is something else. He feels like he’s in the presence of a deity. 

When you crawl into bed, he pulls you against him, kissing you deeply. You gasp against his lips and he chuckles. He rolls you onto your back, hovering over you and parting your legs with his knee. You whimper as he grazes your core, but he controls himself. 

In his head, he hears the melody of the moans he’d bring out of you and feels himself getting hard. 

“Atsumu, wait,” you put your hands on his chest and he pulls away. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, pulling away from your lips and looking down at you. 

Tears are threatening to spill out of those pretty hazel eyes. 

“I can’t do this. I want to go home.”

[kimakento]

twisted

synopis: nishi hiroto was well known for breaking hearts, but still that didn’t stop you from giving yours to him. he definitely wasn’t going to play with your heart, right? ⌙ 1.4k

pairing: toxic!nishihiroto x fem!reader

genre: angst with fluff

warning: swearing? and bit of toxicity/manipulation

author’s note: took me so long to write this bc i was busy w exams but i’ll try to be online more !! its been so long since i’ve written angst since the memory of him so i’m a little rusty. hope you all enjoy mwah

the knot in your stomach tightened as became aware of how nishi tightly squeezed your hand, pulling you forward with him. a while ago, he had asked you to be his date to the firework festival. your friends all warned you about him; they insisted he was someone who enjoyed playing with the emotions and hearts of those naive enough to pursue him.

overjoy consumed your thoughts as you accepted his offer. the air was filled with the smell of food, signs were plastered everywhere; advertising stalls and their goods. a smile erupted on your face as you noticed one particular stall; ‘couple photos taken here’.

excitedly, you tapped hiroto’s shoulder harder than you were supposed to. “can we take some pictures? it’d be cute!” your finger repeatedly pointed towards the stall that had caught your eye.

he turned towards you, laughing at your peculiar antics. nishi spoke with an obvious burst of admiration, “yeah, sure.” knowing you, he knew you’d want to take photos together. in a rush, you rushed in front of him whilst also tugging on his hand. “hurry it up nishi, or we’ll be one of the last people to get our photos taken!”

to be honest, you knew you liked hiroto but you really underestimated just how much you liked him. whenever you thought about him, you’d absentmindedly zone out and daydream; you just hoped he liked you back. a lighthearted laugh escaped his mouth, his pretty eyes creasing as he brightly smiled.

your favourite part about him were his eyes, the way they squinted whenever he’d look at something; it was too adorable. a moment after, you reached the photo booth. a young man bowed to you and introduced the stall.

“hello! i take couple photos here, feel free to sit down as i snap a couple for you!” the man grinned widely as he moved his hand towards the two wooden, furbished stools in the cozy corner of the stall.

“we would love to, thank you.” nishi’s tone was oddly flat as he undid his hand from yours and you felt the warmth leave your palm. you tilted your head slightly, confused. even the man’s smile wavered subtly as you followed nishi to the seats.

once you both sat comfortably and chatted animatedly, the worker cleared his throat. “smile and say ‘cheese’!” he articulated, cupping his mouth with his hand as he raised his turquoise polaroid. snaps sounded out and brief flashes temporarily engulfed the room.

“that’s done! you just need to wait a while for it to develop.” the camera whirred to life as it produced three separate sets of film. the man waited patiently for each and then faced them flat down on the cool table behind him. a few minutes later, he collected them neatly and handed it briskly to you both.

“i think you’ve been my favourite couple that has come by so far, have a good day, lovebirds!” the word ‘lovebird’ had come apparent to you and you let out a giggle. “oh we’re not—“ you were whisked away by hiroto before you could even finish. ”come on, let’s go.” it was as if it was a demand

yet you still comply, perplexed about his unexplainable actions. the path ahead of you was still bustling and busy, yet you made out a tall figure. waving at you both. “hey, isn’t that your friend?” you pondered aloud, noticing the person to be one of nishi’s friends that you’ve seen around before.

“rihito!” he cried out, voice booming. the person advanced towards you both and grinned. “hello, i haven’t met you before.” rihito’s voice was awfully deep. “oh…yeah, i’m hiroto’s date!” your statement sounded uncertain.

nevertheless, nishi interrupted you to address rihito and to affirm your claim. “yeah, i’ve told you about her already.” there was something about his tone, it sounded weird. zoning out, the two boys continued to converse animatedly. the weight of being the perfect date burdened onto you and became more apparent with every fleeting moment.

both the boys continued to chat, excluding you totally. you spoke with a soft tone, “i’m going to go to see my frie—“

“yeah yeah.” nishi waved his hand, dismissing your attempt at even something basic as speaking. wow, okay. you thought.

tons of emotions and thoughts raced around your mind, why was he talking like this? but still you reluctantly trudged your feet away. amongst the chaos, you noticed an bright, colourful-looking stall selling ice cream.

“he was so kind to me before. nishi really needs to explain himself.” your mumbles were forever lost in the noisy chatter of adults and screams of young children. armed with halfhearted excitement, you skipped towards the stall.

for some particular reason, the entire mood of the festival changed; what was once joyous and engaging became draining and drab. it felt like a chore to be there, you missed the serenity of your home.

“one ice cream please.” with a small smile to the vendor and a hand in your pocket, you brought out your change and dropped it into her hand. boundless thoughts filled your mind, and you almost forgot about the cone that you bought.

thanking the vendor, you hurried away with the ice-cream and came to an empty lot of verdant grass. the lush flowers engrossed you into staring at them, captivation consumed the air. a sight of pure nature that was so intricate brought joy to your then gloomy expression. in silence you continued to finish your cone while watching the view around you.

a cacophony of the chirping of birds cascaded down on you as a tight-knit family of squirrels climbed a tree in the distance. like a deer caught in headlights, you heard two familiar voices nearing you; in a sudden hop you ran and crouched behind the closest stall—it was two people you really did not want to run into, nishi and rihito.

at first, there was only a shared hum of laughter between the two boys, as always hiroto’s laugh sounded melodious. “what’s the deal with your date?” rihito’s question had an underlying tone of condescension—but surely you’re just overthinking it, right?

a dry chuckle escaped hiroto’s mouth, “her? we all know was just a bet,” as he continued you felt ever the worse. “i wouldn’t even go for someone like that.” a tempest of conflicting thoughts and emotions clashed like a whirlpool within you, making hard to find solid ground. half of you wanted to go there and slap him but the other half wanted to leave. inner turmoil consumed you as you decided on the former—well maybe not the slapping part.

with frustration you pulled yourself up, intruding into the hushed conversation between the two boys. “a bet, yeah? you said you liked me. fuck you, nishi hiroto. as if you didn’t try to hold my hand literally thirty minutes ago.” your voice conveyed your raw emotion of anger, all while your sudden outburst directed at nishi and appearance suprised him.

rihito silently navigated away to avoid getting caught in the crossfire of the ongoing war between—what was supposed to be—a loving couple.

nishi raised his hands as he insisted his innocence, “no, i was joking about that baby—“

“i don’t even know why i tried with you, i really liked you, you know? but you’re just incapable of ever loving anyone.” you brought your index finger to his chest accusatorially. the expression of hurt and shock was evident across hiroto’s face. “did that hit home? how sick and twisted of a person do you have to be to do that?”

a heavy sigh left your mouth as your entire attitude transitioned, you would’ve never done anything like this to him. as you turned right on your heel to leave, you heard him murmur.

“be here, stay. the bet was just immature thing that i was dared to do. i actually do like you.”

before you could take a step, you felt him hold your right arm. voice wavering, eyes narrowing; you snapped at him. “no. you don’t get to do this to me. i’m not here to play this push and pull game with you hiroto.” in rage, you snatched it back as you walked off. as if on cue, your porcelain heart shattered with every step you took.

taglist: @turtledove824

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐏𝐈𝐓𝐘 ꒱ 변의주

summary : after a stressful work day, you come home to a sweet date and confession from euijoo

genre : fluff, slight-angst, jpop-idol!ej x afab!reader tws : slight mention of misogyny, minimal angst author notes : ej loml word count : 1.4k

you felt a physical ache shooting down your spine, your legs hurting every time they'd press against the pavement. you sighed, shutting the door to your car and going to grab your things from the back. it had been an unusually stress-filled day; multiple people yelling at you and critiquing your dancing skills.

you knew being a choreographer wasn't an easy task, however multiple — specifically — men would tell you that you weren't meant to be as successful as you were; more than you'd have normally apprehended. they told you that women weren't meant to choreograph men's dances. or that your moves were too promiscuous for them and fans would never appreciate the art because of it.

however, you knew you were good. hell, hybe hired you as a full-time choreographer, it just sometimes gets into your head on bad days such as this.

tears pooled in your eyes, blurring the backseat of the car as your trembling hands fished your bags from the leather. you slung them over your shoulders, grabbing at your keys and locking the door with a couple beeps. you felt tense, almost too much to move quickly, and your stomach churned whatever you had had for breakfast almost twelve hours ago now.

begrudgingly, you entered your apartment building and made your way to the ninth floor. the fluorescent lights mixing with your already blurry eyes made you practically blind as you fought with unlocking the door, your key-jingle echoing throughout the tunnel of a hallway. you swung it inwards to reveal the small mud-room, spotting an unfamiliar pair of nike dunks — too big to be your own — and recognized them as being the only other person who had willing access to your space: euijoo.

you felt a relief form goosebumps over your anxiety-splotched skin and you sighed out shakily. you set your things down and slipped your own shoes off. you didn't even realizing the smell wafting from, you presumed, where your kitchen was as you stepped into a pair of neatly placed slippers. before you had a chance to fully enter your own home, your smiling not-yet-boyfriend was stopping you. he blocked the end of the hall, shielding you from the mess you assumed he had made.

"did you set a fire?" you joked, watching his eyebrows furrow at you. his palms went to your cheeks and you leaned into the touch subconsciously. he examined your skin, shifting your head from side to side without words.

"what?" you asked when he let you go. "do i look funny?"

"not particularly," he stated, making you scoff in his direction as a smile broke out across his lips again. "but, were you crying?"

you didn't think any tears had slipped out of your eyes but you were also too busy noting the pain that coursed through your body to notice the streaks that had painted your cheeks. you knew it was no use to deny what was obvious to him — never being able to slip anything past the man that was oblivious to almost everything but you.

“yeah,” you revealed, a puppy-frown adorning his lips at your words. “it was a stressful day. i’m sorry if you had something planned for us, i’m just really — i don’t know — “ your eyes began to well again, forcing the faucet to twist. “upset?”

“it’s okay,” he stated, pulling you into an embrace that warmed you as you cried quietly into his shoulder. “you can tell me it all, and after that we can watch a movie — also, you know i can’t cook to save my life — i bought your favorite pizza.” he pushed you back by your shoulders, grabbing your cheeks and wiping the tears away. "does that sound okay? do you want to do that?"

the gentle aura of euijoo was almost intoxicating — suffocating you in a comfort that had your senses calming down as if he was a sedative.

you could see the stars — scratch that — touch the stars with him. you knew he’d give you anything you could ever dream of. he’d be your night in shinning armor if that’s what he knew you wanted; however he’d settle for being the shoulder you leaned on for comfort, the arms you fell asleep in, the ears that you confided in. he’d settle for anything if it involved you.

he didn’t ever make you feel like your trivial worries weren’t worthwhile, and you knew he wouldn’t even speak over you if you began to rant; so in the hallway of your apartment, you let the tears and words fall freely. “euijoo, why does working have to be so hard? this industry is so fucking ruthless — i swear i’m just trying so hard to make a living. i have rent due and i need this dance for enhypen to be perfect otherwise it’ll be problems for me, but i don’t know if i can keep up with this lifestyle anymore. i don’t even know if i want to.” it felt a million times better to finally admit what you’ve been thinking of. “dancing isn’t fun anymore. it’s not the same as when i first started — it’s too much pressure now. i just want it to be enjoyable again. i just want to be happy when i choreograph, but i’m just not and i don’t know why.”

he kissed the tip of your nose gently, staring with — if you didn’t know any better — love in his eyes. you huffed, feeling an honest bit of irritation rise within you; you didn’t know why he had to be so perfect, standing in your hallway, holding you close, thinking of only you, when there was literally billions of other people on this planet. but you also knew that, despite your self-consciousness, he’d reassure you a thousand times over that you were more than enough to him.

“you — you’re so goddamn perfect,” he put both his hands up defensively. “i don’t even deserve you — to come home to you.”

your wording had made a slight blush creep over his features. he knew what he had planned for your impromptu stay-at-home date, he knew that he desperately wanted what you subconsciously spewed out, he knew that it was becoming irritating not being able to call you his girlfriend when asked what the two of you were.

he never much cared for labels until it came to you. he respected your proclaim to take things slow when you first started whatever this was, but nevertheless he was only human and he thought you two were moving too slow at this point.

he took ahold of your hand, dragging you to the kitchen in an attempt to get you from ranting about how much you cared for him (because it ultimately flustered him.) and, honestly, you were grateful because from the time you had began work until this exact moment you hadn’t eaten anything besides some applesauce your grandmother had made and sent you from america.

“babe, the food is getting cold. i know i said i’d listen and then we could eat, but i’m starving — i’ll listen but i gotta eat before i die.”

you laughed, watching him sit in the chair he self-proclaimed was his, and take a slice for you and himself. sometimes you forgot that he was just a man at the end of the day, a simple creature in its’ purest form but at least he didn’t forget to feed you.

you took the pizza, putting it down on the plate he’d set up even before you’d gotten home. “it’s okay, i feel better now.”

he looked up through his hunched position, mouth full. “you do?”

“yeah,” you admitted, letting a moment of silence resonate. “you make me feel better so… thank you?”

he giggled, almost shyly, burying his face in the food once again, in an attempt to stop from professing his undying-love for you right now, instead of at the right time.

he finished his pizza as you had just began to eat, a comfortable silence falling over the apartment. he had the same loving look in his eyes, a deep-shade of pink flushing your upper-cheeks. you felt, what seemed like, relief in his presence — a calmness that you believed you could never grow tired of. to you, he was perfect; you were convinced you could never see him any other way. he wasn't your boyfriend, but he had already ingrained himself into your personality.

you two complimented each other the way lovers in a fluff-filled romance movie would, the way constellations and wishes did, the way the sun and moon did. you had to practically swallow down the church bells that threatened to ring every time he'd catch your gaze.

all you two had to do was finally make it official, and after the feeling he instilled in you, you thought it couldn’t possibly be as hard as people made it seem. euijoo kept you breathing like he was the air that filled your lungs. the daily-anticipation always filled your heart to the bittersweet brim, only waiting for the day when it would overflow — though, in the past, maybe you were both too shy to ever say anything — but now, you could see the surface tension at its max.

“euijoo?” you asked cautiously, wiping your lips on a napkin as his attention refocused. he hummed sweetly, causing a small chuckle to escape your lips. you both knew that he was lovesick for you, bewitched, head over heels, but neither of you jumped to admit it.

silence took over, you chest caving slightly as you two locked eyes. you swear he could read your thoughts — and you weren't as scared of that as you used to be in past relationships. you wanted him to know everything you thought about him.

“i love you.”

“can i be your boyfriend?”

you spoke over each other, and then neither one of you jumped at the others proclamation, literally too stunned to speak. you just stared at each other like if you looked away the other would disappear.

his eyes grew ten-times their size. “y-you love me?”

however, you had decided to speak against his words once again. “you can be m — you go first, im sorry.”

“i love you, too.” he stated, making your lip pout-out at the way he looked so goddamn adorable. “i wish I would’ve done this sooner, oh my god, i had this whole thing planned out and —“

“it's perfect — you’re perfect. i love you more than the word love could ever insinuate.”

“you can’t ever stop saying that now.” he shook his head like he couldn’t believe it. “seriously? how’d i get so lucky?”

it was rhetorical, though you still felt the desire to refute it. he was mad that he hadn’t asked you to be his girlfriend sooner, your claim only making his stomach swarm with butterflies. he was in love with you before he even knew what love for another person was, but now he was convinced it would never feel the same if it wasn't you.

reblogs, likes and comments are greatly appreciated! thank u!

[jjayeongi]

EP 3 。。。YN HAVE A CRUSH

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in which nicholas keeps pushing you away and acting quite coldly toward you despite your attempts to make friends with him. no matter how hard you try, jay, your brother tells you to stop because he believes nicholas would never give in. besides you have a secret admirer right? who always sends you letters, so, let's just forget him.

📝 slow update + my unfunny jokes, im really sorry this might make you guys lose interest but thank you so so much if you still enjoy my smau. i love you all

taglist open @angelic-jeonghan1004 @cyberpunksunwoo @nichobins @tya0 @renjunba3 @dxlicateee @jaxavance @dancinginthetaillight @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @jaylabb @diestheticu @cherriegyu @lcv3lies @paolennenicole @o-0hypen @makiswrld

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