#KYLES MOM IS A BITCH SHES A BIG FAT BITCH

[fennecfiree]

LMAO I drew south park parents as kids, I was gonna draw Gerald but I wanted to do 2 mom's to dads, and I really wanted to draw new jersey Sheila 😭😭 also I didn't mean to make Stuart look like Tord.. 😰

Also I made randy the tallest cuz I'm pretty sure he's the oldest out of these guys (well I couldn't find how old Sheila is but whatever) and Liane is the youngest

I DIDN'T MEAN TO MAKE HIM LOOK JUST LIKE TORD

[wendytestabrat]

gerald is spitting straight out facts abt kyle LOL

ok i loved how s20 rlly explored gerald & kyle’s dynamic and how much of a strained relationship they have and how gerald is closer to ike & likes him more and understands him better than kyle. it makes sense tho that gerald & ike would have a special bond with each other bc they’re the more laid back and chill ones of the family compared to kyle & sheila LOL. and bc they’re both guys too which s20 rlly explored when gerald kept having all those one on one talks with ike to talk abt guy humor and shit. it’s obvious gerald can’t have these kinds of talks with kyle and talk abt fucked up gross shit bc kyle is just gonna get all upset and be a huge drama queen as usual. so i feel like this is def part of the reason why kyle is so fucked up bc he feels neglected af by BOTH his parents and misunderstood & unloved since he’s his dad’s least fav child. i also feel like that’s the whole reason behind why kyle is so damn preachy all the time and constantly has to yell at everyone and force his beliefs on them bc he feels like no one is listening to him or cares bc it’s shown his parents ignore him A LOT, unlike cartman’s mom who gives him wayyy too much attention and smothers him. cartman & kyle are both narcissists who constantly crave validation but for different reasons. cartman thinks everything is all about him bc he gets TOO MUCH attention and always gets his way wheras kyle thinks everything is abt him bc he’s a total victim who feels like NOTHING goes his way and no one acknowledges him. but also the fact that kyle doesn’t even act like a normal boy and is gay af and has a lot of feminine qualities by getting all overly sensitive and worrying abt dumb shit like a girl does is prob a HUGE reason why he doesn’t connect with gerald as much as ike does. and i def think this is a HUGE reason why kyle is in the closet and doesn’t wanna admit he’s gay LOL. gerald prob makes kyle feel like he’s not the son he wanted and he doesn’t like how kyle can’t act like a normal dude and laugh abt dumb shit. i feel like gerald might be homophobic af which was shown in “mr garrison’s fancy new vagina” how he had a problem with lgbt shit when he didn’t like mr garrison having a sex change. and then sheila gets on his ass lecturing him abt how being trans is perfectly fine and he should be more tolerant. so that’s why i feel like sheila would def be the way more accepting parent abt kyle being gay than gerald (AND it’s been shown she gets along well with cartman too). so yeah it makes sense kyle wouldn’t wanna come out as gay if his dad doesn’t like it and basically shuns him for all of the gay qualities he already has LOL. that’s also why i feel like kyle overcompensates by acting all aggressive and feisty af all the time (and of course hiding being gay would make someone rlly pissy and irritable too), it’s his way of trying to seem more tough and maculine than he rlly is bc he’s embarrassed abt the side of himself that’s rlly just soft and nurturing af. but at the same time i feel like kyle still has a closer relationship with gerald than sheila (which could also be a BIG reason he’s in the closet bc he cares abt gerald’s opinion the most as the parent he looks up to more) bc he’s not as crazy and off the wall as her LOL. even tho kyle is way more similar to his mom than his dad i feel like kyle still tries his best to be more like his dad and model after him bc he knows damn well his mom is just a fat bitch whom no one should be like even tho he won’t admit it and gets mad whenever anyone points it out.

[willowisapillow]

❤️📝 Big Fat Bitch 📝❤️

“aS iF i ReAlLy LoOk LiKe ThIs”

Don’t mind me just crossing over two GOATED cartoons <3

Hope y’all had a great Mothers’ Day, everyone! Hope y’all spent some quality time with not just your biological mothers but also your adoptive mothers, grandmothers, stepmothers, godmothers, etc. I took a little break to spend some time with my mom hence why I wasn’t able to get this posted on time.

Last week I was rewatching some old Spongebob episodes for nostalgic reasons, and I was watching one of my favorite episodes, “New Student Starfish”, y’know, the one where Patrick goes to Spongebob’s Boating School? Once it got to the scene where Patrick gets Spongebob in trouble because of the Big Fat Meanie drawing, that’s when I knew right then and there that I had a new art idea 😈

Honestly speaking I don’t hate or dislike Sheila, but I just think she’s eh. I’m personally more of a Gerald person hehehehe-

It’s kinda hard not to dislike her because girlie is just straight buggin’, especially in the BLU movie, but I don’t really have any animosity towards her. She’s not one of my favorite SP parents, but she’s far from my least favorite (that title goes to Butters’ parents, Stephen and Linda, because on God are they just the worst 😀). Plus, I do dig her beehive hairdo and hoop earrings.

Though I will say it felt kinda refreshing drawing another SP mom for a change since I keep drawing Sharon all the damn time, though I’m most likely gonna relapse back to that after I post this lmao

I had way too much fun with this, I was just giggling to myself like a complete loony while working on this because of how dumb it is. Both Spongebob and South Park are just my absolute fav cartoons, so this another piece of art of mine that’s special to me. Sheila lowkey fits as the role of Mrs. Puff here. 

And I can also just imagine Cartman drawing something like this to piss off Kyle haha

❤️ 📝 ❤️

[suddenlybambi]

as long as you stay here [10] ♥ kyle broflovski

pairing : kyle broflovski x reader

college AU - 18+

tags : strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, fluff, angst, alcohol, afab reader, she/her pronouns, eventual smut

words : 2.2k

chapter 10

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a/n - we are officially in double digit territory 👁️👄👁️

Kyle didn’t usually eat in his room if he could help it. His mom had always taught him it was unhygienic. But he wanted to talk to Y/N about the night before, and he didn’t want to risk Stan and Wendy interrupting them. 

Y/N seemed to consider the bed for a second, but once she realised that Kyle had already made it, she settled on the floor with her legs crossed and plate balanced on one knee. He joined her, sitting opposite in the same position.

“I’m surprised you’re not…” He struggled to find the words without them coming across as rude.

“Hungover and crying on the bathroom floor with the lights turned off?” She smiled, showing she knew exactly what he meant and wasn’t upset by the implications. “Did I really drink that much? I don’t remember much past getting to the party. Clyde had already given me two shots before we left and then another when I got there… I think I remember having a few cups of whatever they had dumped in that fishbowl….”

“Yeah… You were pretty out of it,” He laughed nervously, looking away. He was wary when he realised how much she had actually been drinking and was worried that she probably should be hungover. Unless… “You’re not still drunk, are you?”

“No, I am stone-cold sober,” She confirmed, twirling a piece of pancake on her fork before she ate it. “I don’t get hungover, no matter how much I drink and for how long I do it for. Most I get is a headache, but that is fixed with some water and a Tylenol- thank you for that, by the way.” 

“No worries, I know you would have done the same for me,” He shrugged. 

“I also assume you took me home, so thank you again for that,” She smiled, tilting her head a little in thought. “I hope I wasn’t too much of a pain for you.”

“You could never be a pain for me,” The words came to him so naturally that he didn’t have to think about them for a second. “So, no hangovers? That’s-”

“Dangerous?” She finished, and he nodded a little hesitantly. “I don’t drink much anymore because of that. I went through a phase in high school, made a lot of stupid decisions with stupider people for the stupidest reasons, all because I could just wake up the next morning with no memory of it and still get my ass dragged to ballet classes at 6am and practice my pirouettes until my toes bled.”

“I always wondered if the rumour was true that those weird ballerina shoes break your toes?”

“Painfully true! Let’s just say I could never pick up some extra cash by selling feet pics because even the absolute degenerates would be turned off,” Y/N laughed at the mildly horrified look on Kyle’s face. “It also breaks the bank. New shoes every couple of months really add up over the years. But at least breaking them in is great anger management control! I personally preferred the method of slamming them against a wall repeatedly. I knew a girl who would run hers over with a car to break them in.”

“Ballet seems really peaceful and delicate from the outside… I had no idea that it was so brutal.”

“Like your mom-” She froze, realising she had let the impulsive thoughts win. “I am so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to actually leave my mouth.”

“Don’t worry about it. Cartman once wrote an entire song about my mom being a big, fat bitch,” Kyle shrugged, not bothered in the slightest by Y/N’s joke. “It’s pretty hard to beat that.” 

“I think I remember Cartman getting pissed at me last night?” She tried to retrieve the memory, but it evaded her. “But I’m not sure why?”

“Ah… That would be because you stood up for me when he insulted my costume,” Kyle recalled the moment easily. He was touched that she stood up for him but concerned that it was to Cartman, who was unpredictable. “You asked if he was a furry, and he did not like that one bit.”

“It wasn’t an insult! I know some furries, and they’re nice and cool people for the most part!” Y/N sighed, finishing up the last of her pancakes. “I don’t remember spending much time with you…”

“You and Clyde hung out most of the night,” He told her, still halfway through his pancakes. He slipped one onto her plate for her to eat, and she happily accepted it. “I think he’s the reason you drank so much.”

“I hope he’s suffering today,” She mumbled, trying to remember what she could of the night. She thought she could recall actually having fun with her flatmate, which was odd. “Do you know where my phone is?” 

“Crap, I didn’t see it…” Kyle looked around in a panic, worried it had been left behind at the party. “When did you last have it?”

“I think I left it in your car?” Y/N informed him after a moment of thought. “I’m pretty sure I had it then.” His panic eased a little at that. Hopefully, she was right.

“I’ll go check,” He grabbed her now empty plate to drop it off in the kitchen as he left to find the missing device. After a minute of panicked searching, he found that it had slid under the seat and retrieved it. The screen lit up to show a lock screen that warmed his heart, one of him and Y/N that she had insisted on taking when they had taken the scenic route from the cafe to the library. He was honoured to have made it to lock screen status and made a note to change his own from the generic scenery he’d had since getting the phone to one of the two of them.

A notification caught his eye after the lock screen. He couldn’t see what the text message said, but he could see the name of the sender.

‘Mother’

Kyle remembered what Y/N had told him about her mom cutting contact with her because she didn’t pursue dance. He wasn’t sure how she would react to getting a text from her and how it would affect her mood. He had to push away the selfish want to say he hadn’t found the phone so she wouldn’t see the message in hopes he could spend more time with her in a good mood.

When he returned to the apartment, he found that she was doing the dishes. Instinctively, he placed the phone on the table and grabbed a tea towel to start drying and putting things away.

“Did you find it?” Y/N asked, looking over her shoulder at him with a sweet smile. He really hoped that whatever the text said didn’t ruin it.

“Yeah, it's on the table for you,” He nodded over at it while drying a plate. “Want me to finish this?”

“It’s fine! I’m almost done anyway!” She shook her head, looking back down at the sink as she finished the last of the dishes. Once done, she picked up her phone from the table and checked it. Kyle tried not to make it obvious that he was watching her, but he couldn’t help himself.

He watched as her smile dropped within a split second, only to turn into a scowl as she actually read the text. She didn’t appear to send anything back, just turned it off and put on a fresh smile for Kyle as she looked back up.

“Do you have a charger I could borrow, please?” She asked, holding her phone up. “I’m on 12%.” 

“Yeah, it’s in my room,” He put away the frying pan he had been drying and led her back to his room. He wanted to ask what the text said, ask if she was okay, give her a hug, or do anything that could possibly cheer her up. But it wasn’t his business. She would tell him if she wanted him to know, but she deserved privacy. “Over here.”

“Thank you, sweetpea,” The pet name made his heart race as she took the end of the cable from his hand and plugged her phone in to charge. There was a moment of silence while she plugged it in and set it down. “My mother texted me.”

“Oh?” He didn’t know if he was supposed to act surprised. His mind was running in fifty different directions at once. “Are you okay?” 

“I’m here with you, and not with her,” The words were simple but held so much meaning. Kyle’s feet moved without him thinking as he took her in his arms, holding her to his chest in a hug she eagerly returned.

“I’m here for you if you want to talk about it,” He told her. One of his hands lifted up to stroke her hair, still a little messy from the night before. “I’m also here if you don’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t…” He could feel that she was shaking slightly, the slightest crack in her voice betraying that she was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know if I can go to yours for Thanksgiving…”

“What do you mean?” He asked as she pulled away to get her phone. They sat down on the side of his bed together as she unlocked her phone, opening the message and passing it to him to read for himself as she didn’t trust her voice to hold out.

Mother : moving house sunday after thanksgiving. anything u don’t collect will be dumped

That was all the message said, but it didn’t have to say anything else for him to know what it meant. Y/N would have to go back to her mom’s house if she wanted to salvage any of her belongings that remained there. The callousness made his blood boil.

“She said Sunday after Thanksgiving,” He pointed out, passing the phone back to her so she could put it back on charge. “We could still spend Thanksgiving at my house, then go to yours on Friday, so we have then and Saturday to get your things.”

“You’d come with me?” She sounded slightly surprised but grateful. “I don’t want to take time away that you could be spending with your family.”

“If it helps…” He leaned in to whisper to her as though they weren’t the only two in the room. “I don’t want to spend the whole week with my family anyway. A few days is more than enough, trust me.” This made Y/N laugh, which Kyle considered a win. Tears were still brimming in her eyes, but there were paired with a smile again. “Plus, who would drive you around if I wasn’t there?”

It had taken a bribe of no chores for two weeks after the holidays, but Kyle had managed to convince Stan and Wendy to take two cars back home so he could be alone with Y/N. It wasn’t a long drive, only an hour and a half, but he valued any time he got with her.

“You mean you actually kicked your brother?” Y/N asked, her eyes wide with shock. “Like, just fully went for it and booted him across the street?”

“I was 8!” Kyle protested through laughter. “Are you saying you and your brother never did anything like that?”

“There was too much of an age gap between us for him to get away with that shit,” She shrugged, opening up the glove compartment, which she had slowly taken over more and more each time he drove her somewhere. “Then again, he was 13 when I was born. By the time I was old enough to be a conscious human being, he was at the end of high school and barely home.”

“Did you get along with him?” He asked, reaching over to grab a mint from the pack she had produced from the glove compartment as she offered it to him.

“Oh, I followed him around like a little lost puppy whenever he was home,” She smiled at the memory. “I wanted to do whatever he was doing and go wherever he was going. He would carry me around on his shoulders whenever we were out and about. People thought he was my dad, and I guess he was the closest I ever had to one.”

“How old were you when your dad… you know…?” Kyle regretted the question as soon as the words left his lips.

“Died?” She finished for him, far more nonchalantly than he expected her to be about it. “Before I was born. Mom never talked about him. I only know what little I do know about him because my brother would slip me bits and pieces of information. I think it was a car crash or something that killed him.” 

“That’s rough. I’m sorry,” He didn’t really know how to react, particularly since she didn’t seem that bothered. He figured it was hard to mourn someone who you never knew and no one would tell you about.

“Look! There’s a deer!” Y/N excitedly pointed out of the window as they passed the animal. “Kyle! I saw a deer!”

“You’ll get used to that!” Kyle laughed at how excited she had gotten over something he had considered normal and taken for granted all his years in South Park. “We’re almost there. Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

a/n - the comments you guys write really spur me on when writing, thank you so much 🥰

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[bloogers-boogers]

Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman

"Cartman, your girlfriend's a freak!"

Part 1 >

Summary:

Kyle discovers Cartman's new partner is into feedism and he has all reason to get involved.

Eventually:

"why can't you listen?! Why don't you care?! Why is it always me who has to fix your problems!"

"No one is asking you to fix me, Kahl!"

"You are! You are by acting dismissive over it when you DO care!"

"I don't! She's all I have! She's the best thing I could ever get."

"What about me?!!"

Warning ⚠️: this is a sp fic you could either expect the worse or the best! So beware if you proceed to read the following content 🙏

Author’s note: the narration of the story would be mimicking the way Cartman was storytelling in that one Christmas creatures story he wrote. So if you guys wonder why it’s kinda wacky that’s why! C:

------———————

It was a Monday morning, the sun rising and the light blooming each corner of the trees, streets and buildings. As four boys walked pass the streets heading straight to school. It would've been a normal day if they had met in the bus stop as usual however Randy took Stan that same night for a weed business trip in middle of a sleepover so they also had tagged along. Free employees! for Randy so he said.

What a annoying night for the teens, but not much to complain besides groan and act bitter to their raven friend instead. Regretting not just taking their usual hangout spot which was always at Cartman's place.

"Main bitch out your league too, ah

Side bitch out of your league too, ah~" the brunette sang out shamelessly, a slight smile while moving his hands with the mumbling beat of his own voice.

"Can you stop singing, fatass? I have a fucking headache from last night." Complained the only redhead of the group.

Ever wonder why they all have conveniently diffrent hair colors to difference each other and yet, matched color palettes for clothing that go well with one another? Nah, who thinks about that. They look good together, so the group remains the same! Just switch the coats for hoodies and the pants for jeans. If you want extra, the raven boy has updated for no hat and the ginger for a pair of sneakers instead of boots.

Heights from the tallest to smallest, redhead to raven, blonde and lastly brunette. For the misfortune of the last one ofcourse.

Constant teasing and for what? For a couple of inches extra? Nope. Because he's an ass. That's the reason, and because it's funny.

"For your information I don't care," replied, Cartman as he continued to sway his body from side to side.

Aka shortest, drastically fattest, "you think life is hard? I'm wearing size 13 Nikes", only motherfucker that could kill and would; just for funsies. A loser. But a dangerous one, THE Eric Theodore Cartman a fatherless boy with a crack whore of a mom, "I'm tying to put you in the worst mood, ah-!" he hummed out loud, even louder then before to annoy his friends.

With a long and dragged groan, "way to go, Kyle. You made it worse," Stan complained as he pinched his nose in frustration.

Aka the second tallest, Mr. "I'm part of the football team but never the captain", average weight, depressed homie who would get bailed on the moment he stops acting chill about it. Deadbeat singer. A lover boy and hippie. Stoner without the weed. The "leader" of his gang of friends, Stan (Stanley) Marsh.

"What did I do?!" Kyle exclaimed offended but not really. Too tired to care or actually make a big deal about it.

Aka tallest, average weight with a little tone of muscle in his arms, jewish (apparently important enough to mention for the fat one), "temper bitch with no chicks", looks like a nerd is actually a high graded student but would bail school for his friends. Would beat your ass if you cross his ground or brake his ego. Seriously. He would. Ask Cartman. Wait, don't, he'll lie about it. Anyways, this is Kyle Broflovski.

"Mhmp! Mhmp mhmp," muffled Kenny under his hoodie.

Aka third tallest atleast he's not the shortest!, slightly underweight, "what's that miles away? A arrow? Lighting? Bullet? Nope, it's Michael Myers about to hunt him down", hard worker but slacks from time to time, a stoner with very high grades but no effort. Wise for his age but cries at nights. Fatalities over 100! Kenny (Kenneth) McCormick.

"Nuh-Uh!," Cartman denied with a skeptical frown, "that's not possible poor boy," a slight pause before leaning his head closer to his other friends, "...right?"

Stan and Kyle just shrugged not caring much.

Cartman remained silent as a car swoop there blonde friend off the ground and dragged him to the nearest gasoline station where it comically explodes as he landed just inches apart from the actual gas.

Well there goes Kenny for the day.

They continued their pace as they finally arrived school. Doing their usual thing as changing their books and closing their lockers before entering class.

First period went smoothly while second period in comparison had multiple shootings heard from the hallways, the teens remained unfazed while they were lectured about historical facts they genuinely didn't care about, some listened, some acted like they did and others just slept through class.

Ofcourse Cartman was one of those who slept in. He felt a couple of pokes on his side. He frowned annoyed while swaying his hand in the air for whoever is pestering him to stop. He didn't bother to look up.

"Fatass stop slacking in class," Kyle hissed in a whisper.

Cartman smiled devilish as he recognized that well familiar voice.

"Meh meh meh meh," he mocked still eyes shut and had no plans on moving from his comfortable position.

As expected, Kyle punched him hard on the arm.

"OWE!" Cartman whined out loud, rubbing his arm that was now aching in pain.

"Mr. Cartman care to explain why you interrupted my class?," The teacher scold. Now attention all on him.

"It was Kahl!" Cartman cried out loud while glaring at his redheaded friend.

"I would never," Kyle commented sarcastically as he rolled his eyes looking at the ceiling innocently.

They all knew who the teacher favored.

Something they all first noticed in their first year of highschool. Was how their history teacher put her immediate attention on Broflovski. At first, Kyle denied it but then he got curious and intentionally wrote wrong all his answers and yet STILL A's a exam. He was shocked but actually felt proud that he can pull a whole grown woman to pine for him with out even trying. Creepy, but cool because he can get away with a lot of shit in her class.

"Eric, I beg you to keep quiet while I lecture, do you understand?"

Cartman roll his eyes knowing Kyle's so call "charm" on their teacher. So there was no point on manipulating the situation to his favor.

"Yes, Ms. Thrust ontitts," he replied bashing his eyelashes innocently.

"Very well, let's continue."

He grips his hand on to the side of his chair, and jumps closer to Kyle's side as he moves, "way to use your jew scooties on crib jumper."

Kyle rolled his eyes, still, he leans his head closer to Cartman's, "better than not having anyone pay attention to you, lardass."

Cartman scoffed but arched a brow as he tried thinking of a better combat. He smiled before saying the first thing that came in mind, "rather have no one than someone that's nearly applying for a elderly home."

"Atleast she's pension."

"Atleast I won't be wiping ass."

"Atleast I'm touching ass."

"Atleast changing diapers won't be a routine."

Kyle gripped his fingers on to his desk, biting his lip trying to come up with something else but failed.

"Fuck you."

"Just try," Cartman teased as he stuck his tongue out childishly. Moving back to his place triumphantly.

Kyle cheeks heated by just his stupidity, then because the image actually popped up inside his head.

"Agh. Gross," Kyle let out as he shaked his head trying to get the image out of his brain.

Embarrassingly turned on by it too.

Cartman snickered, side eyeing his friend. Pleased by the reaction. Oblivious of the other's repressed thoughts.

During lunch period Kyle remained defeated as he slumped his head on to the table. Frustrated that he couldn't get the image of Cartman on fours out of his head.

Yeah, that's his life now. So desperate to find love, so touched starve for physical attention that he is now delusional enough to imagine his rival remotely attractive while positioned under him.

What else could go wrong for him?

He dragged his hands on to his face sliding them down to the sides of his chin still not believing how betrayed he feels by his own perturbed mind.

The thing is, he managed to effortlessly pull a grown ass woman he has zero attention on, to like him. But any girl his age doesn't even bat a eye when crossing paths. It's like a damn curse he can't get rid of.

He's tried but no luck. He always thought his looks were average. He has a great personality. What else do they want?

He scratched his scalp while processing whatever shit load his brain is dumping on him as Stan just eyes him while eating a burger.

You'd think his only concerns would be the fact that he's literally picturing indecent shit about Cartman. But no, that's far from it. To be honest this is mild compare to what he has to endure with his sexually frustrated brain.

Hormones has been his worst enemy these past years. And yet, unlike his other friends he hasn't score anything.

He's not sure if it's the thought that all his friends has done it, and when he means by "it" he means the big S word. Sex.

Well, if you include Cartman he's technically not alone but c'mon that's basically expected from that fat bastard.

So he's technically screwed if he's on his level on not being good enough to be fucked.

He scratched his head in desperation as he sighed.

Stan patted his back in understanding. He has already told Stan a year prior about feeling insecure with it. However, the other only told him the most basic, corny ass shit he could think of "only time will define and just don't feel pressure about it. It's not a big deal", then backtrack it all after scoring with Wendy a week after.

"Dude you're missing out big time, you HAVE to try it," those words echoed his head, and been echoing his head since their middle grade years.

He scratched again angrily before finally deciding to eat his almost forgotten food.

He eyes Cartman basically undressing him. Spiteful. In his defense he started it for just even suggesting that possibility. So he deserves to be ridiculed in this way. Technically this is harmless because it's a internal thought but it feels vengeful in a way. A way he can tolerate and accept he is fact being turned on by his rival.

Another thing he's been questioning in a battle.

His sexuality.

He's not sure if he's into women or men. There's only been a few exceptions when it comes to feeling remotely attracted to both those genders and he doesn't know why.

They're always specific and never spontaneous. He can't simply fall attracted to someone he just met or eyes as pretty. He REALLY has to know what he's dealing with first, and then attraction hits.

But nooooooo Mr. Broflovski here is also picky.

His perfect suit is smart, courageous feisty women. That's basically his personal pick. But at this point he'd go for anything.

Not Cartman though. He doesn't know why his brain in bugging right now.

But Cartman does seem to go for...

He stands up abruptly, startling his friends as he picks up his tray and went to place it in its bin before heading out of the cafeteria. Stan already following behind.

That's enough with thinking.

"Kyle, you okay dude?" Stan asked concerned, hands inside his pockets walking alongside him.

"Yeah, it's been just one of those weird days y'know?" He tried dismissing his thoughts away, focusing on his best friend.

"Yeah, I get that.. like-"

"Oh brother not this shit again," Kyle thought, fighting the urge to not roll his eyes. Isolating himself from the conversation while Stan finishes ranting about his break up with Wendy which was like three months ago and how he misses her.

He eyes the posters plastered on the walls as they walked pass them. Holes everywhere as the previous shooting had already ended but had left drastic but not too drastic damage.

He sighed, crossing his arms as he had stopped waiting for Stan to drink some water from the water fountain before continuously walking the hallways aimlessly as he ranted wanting to get back with her.

His concerns were not suppose to be a big deal, but he made them a big deal. And for what?

Unnecessary stress? They're other more important things to think about and here he was just worrying about being a virgin after graduating.

He never felt so unwanted. Pathetic, definitely pathetic and disappointed.

Maybe if his friends didn't rushed themselves to pass that huge step. Maybe he wouldn't be so worried about it. Maybe if they didn't push him into doing it he wouldn't think about it so much.

Maybe he wouldn't care so much if they all just didn't grow up so soon.

The day already has ceased to it's end, as Kyle dramatically lays on his bed in a position people would normally find funny. His head rested on his pillow while his left arm was folded to his side next to his head, fist against his forehead. His legs spread apart while his other arm was extended to the edge of the bed. His belly exposed as his shirt was slightly lifted to the side of his abdomen.

But Kyle was devastated, exhausted and annoyed mostly.

He huffed before falling asleep.

[zigzthingz]

Ooooooooooooh Kyle’s moms a bitch she’s a big fat bitch she’s the biggest bitch in the whole wide world

She’s the biggest bitch if there ever was a bitch she’s a bitch to all the boys and girls!

Scene redraw of one of my favorite moments in South Park

[ashleybenlove]

Diverse Cartman just asked if Kyle's mom is still a big fat bitch in this universe.

Yes, she is.

[townbully-hatzroy]

🎵WELL KYLES MOMS A B*TCH SHES A BIG FAT B*TCH SHES THE BIGGEST B*TCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD🎵

"WEEELL KYLE'S MOM'S A BITCH SHE'S A BIG FAT BITCH SHE'S THE BIGGEST BITCH IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD SHE'S A STUPID BITCH IF THERE EVER WAS A BITCH SHE'S A BITCH TO ALL THE BOYS AND GIRLS-"

[imeverywoman420]

do u like south park i cant remembrr

Idk if you know tjat tiktok lady thats like. AM I A NICKI FAN? Adm she raps a nicki verse while running

AM I A SOUTH PARK FAN? Kyles moms a bitch shes a big fat bitch shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world

[alixlives]

weeellllll kyles moms a bitch shes a big fat bitch shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world shes a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch shes a bitch to all the boys and girls

shut your fucking mouth cartman

on monday shes a bitch on tuesday shes a bitch on wednesday through saturday shes a bitch then on sunday just to be different shes a super king kamehameha biotch

have you ever met my friend kyles mom shes the biggest bitch in the whole wide world shes a mean old bitch and she had stupid hair shes a bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch shes a stupid bitch

kyles moms a bitch and shes just a dirty bitch

[fennecfiree]

I HAD TO

I just found this on Pinterest...

and I had to...

[wendytestabrat]

another obvious reason why kyle rips on cartman for being fat all the time

ok so like the past couple days i've been trying to read more and learn more about judaism (bc i'm a nerd). even tho i'm an ashkenazi jew i've never known that much about judaism the religion outside of being jewish by race/ethnicity FHDJSJSK. and yes for the ignorant people out there who don't know there's a HUGE difference between between practicing judaism and just being jewish bc yeah i hate it when people assume bc of my jewish background that i'm super religious like bitch i was raised by ATHEISTS. even my gma the holocaust survivor didn't believe in god which goes to show the holocaust was abt targeting jews as a race not a religion but i don't need to get into all of that rn. ok let's move on to shitting on kyle, the part ya'll RLLY care about. so i think a BIG reason why kyle shits on cartman for being fat sm is bc HE HAS TO EAT KOSHER DUH (which was confirmed in the episode "ginger kids" when kyle said his mom packed him a kosher lunch) which i can't believe i never realized before lol. some other things i've theorized on in the past is how kyle is just taking out his anger abt his fat obnoxious mom onto cartman for being fat and obnoxious. bc yeah obviously kyle can't backsass his mom but he can backsass cartman all he wants bc he's an easier target LOL. i've also theorized that kyle has an eating disorder so he's just projecting all of his negative views about his body and food onto cartman. but the problem may not be abt kyle not wanting to eat.....it could be the complete opposite in that he WISHES he can eat whatever he wants. and after looking into what exactly kosher is....yeah it's understandable why kyle is so miserable LOL. i'm not trying to shit on you if you're jewish and you eat kosher like i'm all about trying different diets i think that's rlly cool, but it's understandable that it would be hard for a kid to do that bc kids loveeee eating junk food and whatever they want all the time. and it's ESPECIALLY hard for a jewish kid if he/she is the only one eating like that while all of his/her peers get to eat whatever. but yeah if u rlly look into the nitty gritty of it, kosher eating jews are NOT ALLOWED TO EAT PORK. so this means kyle has prob never been allowed to eat shit like bacon or hot dogs in his entire life TSHDHSKS. they're also not allowed to have any other meats UNLESS it was prepared and butchered a certain way. so i can imagine kyle wouldn't be allowed to eat a lot of the foods with meat they serve at school. AND ALSO they're not allowed to eat milk and meat together at the same time and this goes for anything with milk in it such as butter or cheese which means kyle isn't even allowed to eat cheeseburgers LOL. so in kosher u would either have to eat a meal that is mostly just milk/dairy products or one that's mostly meat. so yeah when you put all of that into context it makes A LOT of sense why kyle gets so grumpy over cartman being fat and why he's soooooo critical over his eating choices. he's prob just jealous that cartman gets to enjoy food and eat whatever the fuck he wants all the time and he doesn't.

[comfysocksboi]

That ADHD feel when you're alone at home and you start singing but then get distracted and switch to another song

"princess peach.. at the end of the liiine... I'LL MAKE YOOUUU MIIIINE OHHHH PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES PEACHES- hmmm? Oh. ... WELLLLL kyles mom is a big fat bitch she's the biggest bitch-"

[slashisme]

hey bitch you need to post

Yup, I know, well here is something... Well Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch She's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch She's a bitch to all the boys and girls

[jammyjams1910]

kyles mom is a bitch???

🎶🎵She's a big fat bitch🎵🎶

[fartquen12]

Hey quen😊😊💕💕

can uf do zhongchi fic where childe is preg🥺🥺 and they raise thw stinky bwabby🥺🥺💕💕 thxx!.!

Omg yes bestie. Also since I am literally being such a bwimbwo whwore and want to stwab mwuself bc of a man (thats not very bwimbwo whore of me) This is a great idea.

Also next time pls put poop in the request and Also I only do y/n related stories so ya shes going to be in here.

UNFAIR RANK DIAPY WIPEY

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Fart, Poop, Birth, Sea section, Unatural birth, dookie, Fat babies, dirhea, Nsfw??, Will defenitly offend you if your a mini kyle.

It was 10:30 pm and I (y/n) had woken up to this shitty sound. It was like really loud. When I realised thats childe creaming- SCREAMING. I got up quickly and ran to the bathroom he was in! "Childe what- whats wrong a-are you okay!?" I exclaimed "AY GET THO FUCK OUT IM TAKIN A SHITAAA!!!" childe screamed back at me "FUCK OKAY ASSHOLE!" I replied slamming the door after. I was so pissed when I felt a rock hard di- hand touch my arm "whats wrong baby?" I heard a deep im taking a shit pooping sounding voice say. "oh 'ts nothin' just childe being a bitc-" I stopped when I heard "THERES A HEAD THERES A HEAD OUT MY ASSSSSS!" come from the bathroom. Me and zhongli ran into the bathroom and childe was standing with his asshole in the mirror and a small head covered in shit coming out his ass. Without saying anything zhongli ran to the car and forced childe and me into it. I had to sit in the back and childe was in the passanger seat zhongli driving. "THE BABYS COMING!" childe screached "YES BITCH I KNOW!!!" zhongli said angrily. I felt left out so I put on my headphones and turned on "taco fart song sped up 10 hours" On my switch lite. 5 minutes later we were at the hospital and i took off my headphones and me and zhongli and childe ran inside. Once we were inside zhongli told me to stay while childe and him went to the room. I felt left out again. So I decided to get a little risky with the patients in the large room I was in. I saw a strange man with blue hair and a huge shitty looking hat. I walked up to him and sat down next to him. "where ya from cutie." I said and I winked at him. "your moms ass." the cruel man said. "excuse me." I said. "haha just kiddin' im just pulling your leg IM from russia!" He said. I thought to myself man this guys cringe. I decided he was short and shitty for me. I looked over and saw the buffest hottest dude I have ever seen. I ran over to him and sat on his lap. "Damn baby lets go somewhere else." He said. Me and this man went to an empty surgery room. We started kissing. Shit. I farted. He looked at me. Laughed. And then we started kissing again. Then I heard the door open and while kissing this stranger I glanced over and saw a hobo looking man. "Hey butthole guye, Ive got the reports to your- OUHHHH PY AHA ADADADAY OH YA DADAY ISJDIUHSD ISUHIOOOHHOogOHOHOHUHOHUHOAOAAAHA!!!!" the man screamed- moaned? he ran away and the man I was kissing said "I need to go now, But call me my names kaeya, but you can call me- big daddy." The man left. I decided to go check on stupid ass childe. I looked through the door window since i wasnt allowed in. I saw childe holding a stinky ugly looking baby that looked like a noodle. childe told me to come in and say hi to our new baby. But i didnt want to. I was so disturbed at this rat ass looking childe I didnt know what to think, what to do, what to know. I stood there staring into its terrifying eyes for a while. Everything was gone except this strange childe. He seemed like a demon. "Hes...- terrifying.." I said. I placed a hand over my mouth as I slowly cried. "ACTUALLY ITS A GIRL." The nurse said. I screamed. I opened the door quickly ran through the hospital lobby and out the doors got in our car and left them there. I drove 5 states away.

10 years later...

I woke up to my alarm. I woke up my husband kaeya aswell. I walked downstairs and got started on breakfast. Kaeya gave me a kiss on the cheek and grabbed the keys to check our mailbox. I finished setting our food out at the table. Kaeya smiled when he saw the food. "Looks great thank you!" he said "Of course big daddy." I said. We ate breakfast silently and awkwardly. I went over to the mail he put on the counter and I saw a letter with my name. Y/n shitman. I opened it curiosly. It read, Dear Y/n Shitman, Due to the order of law you are five years passed on your payment, Your licesnse has been taken aswell as your toilet privlages and free yearly trip to england, Please come in contact with us soon. sincerly child department.

I was confused to what that was "whats that?" kaeya said "hmmm" I said in response. I saw another piece of paper in the envolope that read

Year one- $0.00

year two- $0.00

year three- $0.00

year four-$0.00

and it went all the way up to

year ten $0.00

I didnt understand until i saw in small print.

Hey y/n please pay for your goddamn poop riden child. We want 500 a month asshole. Child support please. sincerly childe and zhongli Shitman.

You paused. You dropped the letter to the floor and started tearing up. How could this trauma dump come back. You thought you would never have to hear from anything that had to do with that shit child again. when the paper fell it revealed the back of the paper which read.

You have 1 month to pay us 10k (btw we named her olivia and now we have another kid named topher)

"What- What the fuck is that!?" Kaeya said angrily.

"I-"

Part two???