#LIKE THESE ARE MOVIES FOR FUCKING ADULTS SO IT DOESNT MATTER

[macbethz]

The whole idea of the “redemption arc” has become such a charged and specific phrase in fandom spaces for no reason to the point that like it doesn’t even really mean anything as a concept anymore. like once you get into conversations about who “deserves” a “redemption arc” I’m automatically like oh we are entering a territory of internet discourse I don’t give a shit about and also you are probably talking about cartoons for 12 year olds

[weebsinstash]

As much as I want to have children by this man, let's take a moment to sip our platonic yandere Miguel juice

-i can't decide which sex he'd be more partial to in a 'child'/you since in the movie there was Gabriella but in the comics he eventually has a son who becomes the next Spiderman but--

-as a girl i just naturally think of a lot of those sorts of gender specific ideas 👉👈 he's this big scary hulking intimidating threat and his "daughter" is the one melting his cold exterior

-doesnt matter if you're a grown ass woman, Miguel sees you struggling to braid your hair and suddenly here he is, full dad mode, doing it for you,and depending on how close you two are, maybe he disguises it with "ugh, stop spending so much time messing around with that. If I do it for you will you get back to work? 🙄", but really it's just your new self proclaimed dad/tio wanting to help braid your hair and help you feel pretty and, oh, how he can fondly remember the last time he helped braid "his daughter's" hair...

-of course this evolves to him just loving to do things with your hair. Braid it, wear it natural, style it, use products on it, hes got you. you were just trying to put your hair in a lazy updo like a ponytail or bun and this man doesn't let you leave until he's got you completely combed out, hair braided with ribbons, and of course this entire time youre awkwardly sitting there in a chair in his absolute cave of a workstation with this gargantuan 6'9 man there, "so how was your day? Staying out of trouble?"

-really I mean. Is stealing other people's kids NOT technically in character for him. You're unfortunate enough to trauma bond with this man and you're never getting rid of him

-you hear Miles Morales call him tio (as in the tio meaning dude) and you jokingly teasingly start calling him tio, which Miguel secretly pretends is the version that means uncle. You're just constantly joking around or looking up at him with these big pouty eyes, "but tio 🥺 can't I PLEASE--" and its like. Lmao people know that if they need to ask Miguel for a favor, that it increases their chances to have you ask in their stead

- I mean, as a female adult abused as a child by my own father, raised by a single mom myself, like...

Reader flinches away when Peter B goes to give you a supportive pat on the back or comes in for a high five after a mission and you force yourself to laugh because you're feeling more than just a little awkward and in the spotlight. "Oh, sorry, that was dumb!" And they eventually get you to kind of anxiously word vomit "my dad used to just kind of, rough me up sometimes when I did something wrong! It-it could've been a lot worse honestly, but, it-it just makes me kinda jumpy around guys sometimes! It's not a big deal, or personal or anything. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad 🥺"

Peter B, Jessica, and Miguel all there as older parental figures and also literal parents, immediately exchange looks and agree like "oh hell naw, don't like that" and you get silently adopted by all three of em right then and there

-if it's a physically abusive father and you're still the victim of abuse, I imagine your dad had some suspicious figures suddenly show up in the middle of the night to terrify and threaten the shit out of him and suddenly you aren't getting as manhandled anymore

-can you imagine, like, you show up to Spider Society one day with a black eye "oh, this? It's, it's nothing. My dad is just, he's about to make police captain and he's really stressed about it is all" cue all your friends mentally high fiving around the table because your abusive piece of shit dad is going to die and you don't even know. When it happens they'll all be "oh no, sweetie, I'm SOOOO sorry :(" meanwhile they're thrilled bc now you don't have any parents and they can weasel in there as your new family, schedule your birthday parties, monopolizing more of your time, things like that

-goddd I just imagine it could become some kind of weird fucked up enmeshed scenario where the structure it's providing for your life is actually good for you meanwhile Miguel is like, retroactively kind of soothing some of his trauma both from his own childhood and what happened with the second universe he broke that it's just like. You're a grown ass adult and this man is tucking you in goodnight and saying "te amo, mija" at the doorway and you bet his ass is going to stand there and not let you sleep until you say it back. He knows you're just absolutely seething at him and he'll still refuse to leave without a grumbling "te amo, papá 🙄"

-He eventually just has you doing so much shit and depending on him so much that it starts to become second nature to you. one day you're in the Society doing one of the odd jobs you're allowed to help with and suddenly you're thinking, "Ugh I actually don't know what to do next, I wish Papá was here to-- WAIT SHIT NO I MEAN MIGUEL--"

-lmaooooo as a non Spanish speaker I keep thinking of how awwwwwful it would be if he actually forces you to learn Spanish. Not inherently because there's anything wrong with Spanish, but, I'm not always smart, and I can just SEE him quizzing your ass, forcing you to have entire conversations in Spanish, always clicking his tongue or chuckling at you when you make a mistake and he just thinks you're so cute struggling to learn 🥰 man hears you're trying to take extra lessons from Miles and he instantly drops everything he's doing to go track the little scamp down. Insert meme "I can forgive being an anomaly but I draw the line at teaching Reader bad Spanish"

-siiiiiiigh eventually the day comes when you're in big danger and you need his help, maybe you disobeyed him and was hanging out with some other Spiders in another dimension when there was a sudden villain attack, and he comes to your rescue as a villain does something dramatic like has a gun to your head or a knife to your neck and the second you see him you're just overwhelmed wirh a sense of relief, calling out for him, calling him dad/tio/papá whatever, and he's just like 😭❤️ pumping his fist internally, like YES you are so grounded when you get back home but also 🥰 you finally called him dad without him having to twist your arm 🥰 nevermind if the "villain" who kidnapped you was actually a Spider who owed him a favor, and this whole thing was to teach you a lesson about listening to your Papá, that's not important ❤️

-Miguel who forces you to learn Spanish vs Miguel who forces you to be Catholic. I can excuse kidnapping and forced adoption but I draw the line at making me practice religion 💀 no but seriously, he probably does have certain morals and values he instills/forces upon you if he thinks you need them, and he'll probably be one of those fathers, "are you leaving the house dressed like that? Go change" and orders you not to hang out with certain people he doesn't approve of or thinks have bad character (like hobie lmao)

-bruh you two will be on a super serious important mission and this man will be like "it's dark, hold my hand so we dont get separated"

Eventually it comes to a point where you're, not perfectly behaved but, just about. If someone finds Miguel, it means you're not very far away, or vice versa. Members of the Society quickly learn not to make any advances on you or make any "adult" comments unless they want to get suspiciously hurt during a personal training session by the big boss himself. You think you're safe just cause Miguel isn't around? Nah, cause then you have Peter B and Jess keeping an eye on you, and, not that YOU'RE aware of the extent, but, if Miguel ever gets worried, he can just ask Lyla what you've been getting up to, since your modified little daypass has her installed into it and she can track your every move ❤️ helicopter parent? Oh honey, you have NO idea...

[pup-pee]

*presents u my dick grayson hcs like ur @ my garage sale* (dick hcs #1?)

♡ this

♡ hes a passenger princess(no this is cannon whoopsie)

♡ dick is like the first girl 2 b killed in a slaughter movie, but just as a 27-ish yr old adult man

♡ draws on a beauty mark in a different spot everytime & gaslights any1 who asks about it -"hey wasnt ur beauty mark under ur other eye?" -"idk i cant see my own face"

♡ hes always losing his hairties bc he keeps shooting them @ ppl -& rubberbands 4 that matter

♡ we dont talk about the skin grip example -it involves a lot of falling & a lot of crashing -if ykyk

♡ dick usually has a twix in his pocket, but in order 2 get it u have 2 guess if its a left or right twix -he also respectfully keeps the left twin in his left pocket & the right twix in the right pocket

♡ he never believed in santa claus but is terrified that watermelon will grow inside him if he swallows the seeds

♡ not rlly a hc but hes vry mcdonals girl toy coded

♡ says "fuck it we ball" b4 jumping in2 a drug ring

♡ the hardest hes laughed in a while was @ a bucket falling over

♡ "masculine but in a peacock way" quotes,,,,,

♡ makes hot chocolate in a pot -refuses 2 make it in a mug it HAS 2 b done on the stove or its not the same

♡ knows how to do his make-up but doesnt know the name of the product he uses -foundation? no thats just my face paint

♡ if u ask him 2 draw, hell say "i cant even draw a straight line!"

♡ dick; *pulls out sticker sheet* *puts mlp sticker some1s face*

♡ swallowed grapes/blue berries whole as a kid bc he didnt know better -didnt chew them*

♡ dicks fav turtle is leo

♡ fixates on tinkering w/his bits & bots

♡ wears crocs -"y do u wear crocs?" -dick; kicks in their direction so the croc hits theyre face

♡ eyeballs measurements(like cooking) -until it comes 2 clothes, then its ultra mega super duper whopper popper deluxe edition focus

♡ h8s grippy socks -the textures weird + attracts halys hair(as if all socks wouldnt but-) -prolly h8s socks in gen

♡ had 2 have snorted pixie stick as a kid -i am such a believer that every kid has done this so he will 2 -as a dare @ LEAST

♡ when hes angry he plops 1 of those sweet cough drops in his mouth 2 chew on just so that he doesnt go off -any hard candy works 2 -he needs 1 of those chewie chewables

♡ biting/chewing hcs bc it needs a separate category @ this point -keeps chewing on earbuds -h8s biting his nails actually -no pen or pencil or eraser is safe -loves biting but h8s when his food is 2 chewy/has 2 bite harder than usual -has more than 1nce caught himself about 2 chew on electrical wire -bites ppl he loves 2 show appreciation/love nom -(i will defend this goddamn hc till the day i die)

♡ pizza bagels -if ur confused, come see me after class

♡ titans have basically banned horror movies from movie nights bc dick would complain about the gore/physics/traps/mo/literally anything 'inaccurate' -"dick its just a movie" "U DONT UNDERSTAND."

♡ has the most social media followers out of batfam but only posts 1nce a month(sometimes not) -its just a picture of his half eaten cereal captioned "beautiful day today"

♡ titians walked in on him doing a backbend & thought some1 murdered him(not 4 vry long though cause oviously he was alive i just like the thought of some1 like roy when he 1st joined the team walking in & doing the most dramatic gasp ever)

♡ listen, i like contortionist dick -its fun & silly

♡ takes 'cringe' as a compliment

♡ "ur mature 4 ur age!" dick; "let me fix that real quick"

♡ hair grows vry quickly

♡ h8s functioning labels(i mean we all should but yk)

♡ skilled in bingo

♡ over buys treats 4 haly -& toys

♡ insane internal clock -kinda ties in; tells ppl specific times -"meet me @ 2;37 pm" as an example

♡ comic sans enjoyer(literally stole from ttg but shhhhhh)

♡ more invested in presidential gay love affairs than WW1 or 2

♡ hes about yay high

♡ hyperfixates on languages istg

i literally could go on 4ever bc my brain is that highway in germany but i wont i regret nothing

pt 2 <- if i make 1 lol

[woomycritiques543]

I cant beleive that voice actors that were in Death Standing and the original Magic School Bus were in Helluva Boss. It really shows how “NOT an indie franchise.” this series has become at this point. So all that “It’s a free indie show that’s doesnt get much of the monies please don’t say how inconsistent and rushed our story is! :(” is complete rubbish now. They make all kinds of excuses, they can do so till the cows come home, but no matter what Helluva Boss still has problems that clearly need to be worked on and the immature responses from the creators such as “ITS NOT “WRITING!” ( You wrote this shit on a document Viv, what else is it????) ITS JUST YOU NOT LIKING IT!” and “YOU’RE A BAD FAITH MOTHER FUCKER!” (literal bullying and spreading rumors to get people attacked. What a pathetic excuse of an adult...) -are just embarassing to watch. You know that a show creator needs more of a hobby when they start to be outright hostile towards their audience for simply just saying “Be more consistent and work on the story a bit more please.” 

This show is just as mainstream as even a Netflix show. Norman fucking Reedus is in it. I think it’s pretty valid to criticize it as an average show now. This is a mainstream show with millions of dollars now. The laziness and immaturity from the creators has absulotely no excuse anymore since the creators are thirty years old and the show has a CN budget so...

CLOWN ON IT AS MUCH YOU WANT GUYS! :D

So with numbers like these- the facts have now given you a 100% pass on critique towards Helluva Boss. Get fucked capitalism! ✊🏽

EDIT:

“BUT BU BU BU BU- ITS FREE TO WATCH ON YOUTU-”

Cool, so is the Land Before Time Sequels. Some better, yet almost just as awful media that also made MILLIONS of dollars from these films. -and Bilal, Robots, and SPACE JAM, good movies, are also there! Being “free” doesnt excuse being an awful excuse of a “lore filled DEEP!” show that has almost none of what it promised to be. So once again: Say (almost) ANYTHING you want! Helluva Boss is just a regular show now. You have permission! 👍🏽

[abimee]

I appreciate you saying that so bad because it really is true how detrimental the obsession with youth is for so many teens (who are so impressable, making it a recipe for disaster) and young adults. Cause as someone who sometimes struggles with that sentiment still for having had BORING teenage years and still being so socially stunted as a young adult having felt for so long I had failed something along the way, making me feel worse abt myself but like... Truthfully, being young is so boring. I'm thankful for older people in my life constantly telling me that really wanting to hurry up so much is pointless - what do we even expect to do?? Stuff that looks cool in movies? I may be a loser for some, I may think I am a loser sometimes, but according to what and who lol. And I'd rather face these things as a mature adult rather than a pressured, impressable teen... Idk. Sorry if this is just rambling really. But it being pointed out makes me feel better and I hope it makes others feel better too. Especially with the loneliness epidemic of right now :(

no absolutely i get it. as someone who so said had an ''interesting'' highshool/teenager years i can safely say that it really sucks trying to cram so much experience into such little years because like

okay the way i see it is trying to make tyour teenage years jam packed with interesting experiences sucks for when you hit adulthood because adulthood is VERY SLOW and BORING as well. youll get to habe more interesting experiences but thats also because you have like 60-70 years and a lot of power in getting to make those experience, while as a teenager you only have like 5 years of this supposed ''golden time'', and then youre just not prepared for how slow and boring adult life is and you get caught up in nostalgia of the ''old days'' and entirely forget how much it fucking sucked to be a teenager because you only remember the glory moments. like ive done so much as a teenager i wish i could nowadays like drink heavily or break into abandoned houses with friends but those high moments often gloss over my memory of how powerless i felt as a teenager with my problems. so like theres nothing good to come of trying to see your teenage years as the most interesting time of your life and that if you didnt make the best of them youre ''boring'' or ''a loser'' because it just doesnt matter to people except for those who peaked in highschool and can only live caught in their past and their former glory.

its so so so so so SO okay to be a slow grower. the idea of needing to get all your experiences out as a teenager is sooooo stupid and theres no timer on anything in your life that dictates it has to happen before X year, thats just the obsession of youth talking and its tootally normal and okay to not have or do things until way later in life. like for me personally i still get caught up with how many people in their 20s are all getting married and i fall down this sinkhole of ''everyone younger than me is MARRIED but i dont EVEN HAVE A GIRLFRIEND'' before remembering that it doesnt matter. it doesnt matter if i get married age 22 or age 62 they dont have goddamn timers on when its acceptable or cool to have your first kiss or get married ITS THE OBSESSION WITH YOUTH TRYING TO KEEP US DOWN FROM. REJOICE IN DOING THINGS SLOWLY AS AN ADULT

[xler0]

I FINALLY HAVE THE CHANCE TO WATCH NOBITA'S SKY UTOPIA

I'm going to go ON A RANT BELOW SO OFC SPOILERS AHEAD

OKAY SO FIRST OF ALL I NEED TO GET THIS OUT OF MY HEAD

SONYA

SONYAAAAAAAAA

WORST DESIGN OF A NEW CHARACTER YET HE LOOKS CURSED AAAAAAAA

it's like they can't commit on a new art style. They tried to emulate doraemon's design because he's a cat robot from the same century as him BUT THEY ALSO WANT TO MAKE HIM LOOK ATTRACTIVE BY FORCING THE NEWER ARTSTYLE (like the one used for Luca in Nobita's Chronicle of the Moon). The same artstyle can also be seen in the three sages but they can just say they are supposed to be beautiful and they emulate adults (ive seen that the adult characters other than the one from original doraemon are drawn differently since 2019 ish maybe) BUT AT LEAST IT LOOKED... NOT AS CURSED AS SONYAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. PRODUCER PLEASE JUST STICK TO ONE ARTSTYLE AND COMMIT TO IT. I CANT BEAR LOOKING AT HOW WEIRD SONYA BE LOOKING IN SOME FRAMES.

AND THIS IS A GENERAL COMPLAINT BUT EVER SINCE THE 2019 MOVIE THEY'VE GONE FURTHER AWAY FROM THE ORIGINAL ART STYLE VISION AND IM??? KINDA FURIOUS ABT IT???? IT DOESNT SCREAM DORAEMON ANY MORE YOU KNOW??? I KNOW YOU WANT TO MAKE THEM MORE MARKETABLE AND GOOD LOOKING BUT- NOOO???? PLS NO????

okay now that's out of the way let's talk about the plot.

I FUCKING LOVE THE PLOT. It's giving midsommar. It's giving the tip of the iceberg of how easy it is to fall into a cult trap and become a cultist. Usually if fujiko fujio wrote this they'll make it seem like the paradapia creator is the one in the right (bcs honestly fujiko fujio kinda gives off eco fascist stink. i've talked abt this before). So I'm glad that from the start they are already portrayed as an ominous community that seemed to be hiding something more. They tried to make it seemed like that paradapia creator is also suffering that's why he needed to make paradapia but i think bcs of the run time they did not really flesh out the reason and other things are happening so there's no room left for sympathy towards dr ray, and i LOVE THAT. No need for any sappy sad backstory for a fascist villain i'd say, no matter how important he thought his reasons are lol go die in jail. Oh. Yea the run time. For the first half it was paced very nicely. Paradapia started to look even more unsettling with ominous shots and dialogs. However for the last half of the movie it become completely rushed. The rebel characters (Hannah and Marimba) was used as walking lore dump for the audience to understand how paradapia became to be instead of showing more things that make them seemed different. I guess it's because they ran out of run time (the movie was only 1 hr 47 min). Not much scene to be emotional with. When a thing happen it quickly jumps into another thing, not letting the audience to cry much bcs?? SO MUCH SHIT IS HAPPENING??? Nobita become the last piece of the paradapia project (literally why? never explained) somehow a whole island can fit into a plastic bag (why designed the trash bag as a plastic bag anyway? there's already and existing gadget for that), sonya died, sonya didn't die, oit there's dr ray getting surrounded, end scene? There's not even much of chase scene. Not even a chase scene with the big bad villain happening. They've used it for Marimba's scene (the action scene in this one was... let's say they definitely blew more budget here), and a chase between sonya nobita doraemon and marimba through the time hole. OH AND LET'S TALK ABOUT THE CHASE SCENE WITH SONYA BECAUSE-

THIS SCENE HAD ME IN A CHOKEHOLD. for almost the rest of the movie there's going to be ambient music btw (weird choice but ok). and when important scenes happen the music will stop, dead silence. only the important characters talk and their voice is going to be crisp and loud. this scene started cheesy, the usual doraemon tells sonya he has a heart too and in this scene he'll started to get swayed and then when he was about to lower his gun- BAM THE THREE SAGES THREATEN SONYA THEY'LL DISPOSE HIM AND MAKE HIM NOT PERFECT ANYMORE AND THEN LIKE A PAVLOVIAN CONDITIONING HE INSTANTLY PULLED THE TRIGGER AND SHOT DORAEMON AND NOBITA DOWN LIKE BROOOO??!?!?!? I cant explain it any better it's truly an experience IT'S SO HEART WRENCHING GHRHHHHHHGRRRRR I LOVE THIS ONE SCENE THE MOST

AND WHAT I HAVE THE MOST PROBLEM WITH IS-

why is he not in more scenes?- No. In fact, WHY IS HE JUST NOT BECOME ONE OF THE MAIN CAST THIS TIME?

Bro this movie is literally about being HIM. Nobita kept whining and wishing "man i'm soon gonna become like Dekisugi" FOR ALMOST THE ENTIRETY OF THE FIRST HALF. THAT'S HOW SELF CONSCIOUS THE WRITERS ARE WHILE WRITING THE STORY. BECAUSE. THIS. IS. ABOUT. BEING. PERFECT. SCHOOLBOY. LIKE DEKISUGI. FUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKK WE WERE ROBBED IMAGINE THE PROBABILITIES. And if the director said they dont want dekisugi to finish the problem quickly, trust me he cannot. He's a child who doesnt know much regarding doraemon's gadget and the villain is literally a fucking cult. No matter how perfect or smart someone is, a cult will still have their way to make others join them. In fact, it'll be even more interesting because that means Dekisugi's skillset will make him even more vulnerable since he'll thought that he found his people along with paradapia's citizens. ISN'T THAT INTERESTING OR IS THAT JUST ME???? AND MAYBE IT'LL HELP MORE WITH EXPLAINING PARADAPIA'S LIGHT AND HOW IT WORKS? I mean let's say the paradapia light radiate "perfection" and the key is Dekisugi whose name literally means "too fucking good at everything" and nobita is immune to the light because??? idk he's already perfect as is??? that's so cheesy but at least it'll explain how the light became to be and why it's important to go to the gangs hometown???!! FUCK ME AND MY WISHFUL THINKING HONESTLY. WE CAN'T HAVE ALL THE GOOD THINGS HUH

I want to cry in this scene, honestly. But like I said the pacing is too damn quick and the viewer (me) didnt have enough time to process wtf is happening. It's quite brutal too with how Sonya forced others to leave him by SHOOTING THEIR TAKECOPTER??? Well we already know beforehand that the air pilot suit have parachute attached BUT STILL. Watching Doraemon still insisted on being with Sonya until Sonya had to shoot his takecopter..... I can see now why there's an influx on the sonya x doraemon fanart for like, last march-april. And i think it'll be much more harrowing if sonya stayed dead but hey guess it's still a kid's movie so in the end he'll get to live and guess the sonya x doraemon ship will be sailing smooth (i shouldnt... but i really want to... oh god.... will i add another ship in my ship list.....) okay i think that's it for now. Oh and i wanna draw nobita in the paradapia uniform.... i saw someone did it first and did a blue archive AU tho.... i still want it.... hhhhhhhh..........

hannah also gives off suletta vibes... cutiee.....

[mbat]

i think the thing is that people want mature stories but most peoples idea of mature is just gore and sex or whatever. i blame adult swim for that skgjsnf theres probably a better thing to blame but still.

plenty of kids/family media prove you dont need those things to be mature. you just need to care. granted, theres restrictions on kids media that hold them back. thats the biggest issue fr.

when it comes to adult shows they dont put enough of those restraints on. they restrain other things though. like when morel orel created and aired an episode that was a major reason it got cancelled. the episode was fucked up.... but it cared. at least a little bit.

steven universe is mature. bluey is mature. id even consider multiple disney animated movies as mature.

the thing is... theyre also made for families of all ages.

they arent mature because of organs falling out of bodies on screen, or people having explicit sex for every viewer to see, or people foaming at the mouth from overdoses. theyre mature because they show humanity in a way that you can feel cares. they show people experiencing real feelings and getting through them in a way that feels real.

of course, its not all black and white. everything has its mature moments, and just because something doesnt do what ive said doesnt make it immature, its just different. inside out was mature for showing a girl running away and experiencing deep emotional pain until she decided to go back home to her parents and talk it out.

i wouldnt say moana was immature for not doing deep dives on the human experience in favor of having a fantastical story that had human moments more as a side dish. it has some amazing moments that are just as human, but theyre not the primary focus.

when i think of writing stories as mature, i think of having a dive into the human experience. i wrote a whole fic that was that and its still unfinished. the only part that could be considered adult is the way i added people cursing and vague references to sex.

when i think of a mature story i want on screen, i want one thats real, that tells human stories whether the characters are human or not, i want one that acknowledges the things we consider adult like violence/gore, sex, and sure, even drugs if it matters so much, but they arent some focal point for drama or shock. i dont want something that overtakes a story that couldve been good.

ive thought of many shows while writing this. many movies, just media in general. ones i love, ones i hate, ones ive experienced through other peoples words alone. maybe you have too.

hear me out here, a good example of what i consider a mature story i like on screen is stranger things. however, its also a horror franchise alongside its other genres, so of course it leans into gross things and gore a little bit, but never just because. it uses those elements to paint a world and further the story.

i also like the good place, too. a show that, from episode one, points at philosophy and ethics and runs with it. one that questions and attempts to answer things about humanity itself. its a comedy show so it can have its weird moments, but i honestly consider it a near perfect show personally. it also acknowledges sexual things without being in your face with them.

many shows do try to be mature but just go too far with some things. i mean, i think euphoria was trying to be mature? but when i watched it all i saw was oversexualized teenagers and so much talk about drugs that it got on my nerves from minute one. maybe its realistic to some people but it was a pain to get through for me.

and sigh. yes. i will acknowledge Velma. it shows close ups of brains falling out of heads. it opens on a shot of nude women in highschool only covered by conveniently placed bubbles and constantly talks about another students privates. it has a whole storyline about selling drugs. all of this is shock, all of this is immature 'adult' stuff. we been knew. its the type of stuff you see on family guy.

family guy is some of the worst about it all, only brought down the rankings of worst because its restrained from showing everything possible. also. admittedly. theres moments where family guy had, well, moments. its been years since ive watched the show but there were moments it got genuine and serious and you could feel they were trying, at least a little. but then the rest of the show is just... bad.

i dont know if ive gotten a point across or if my wording makes sense, but i just wanted to say all that considering conversations people have been having for a little while now.

[expfcultragreen]

Some people like, grow up and forget everything. Not bangarang!

Just 👏 because 👏 kevin 👏 vaguely 👏 demonstrates 👏 some 👏 psychopathy 👏 doesn't 👏 mean 👏 he 👏 did 👏 anything 👏 wrong 👏

He's fighting adults you could more reasonably consider psychopaths by the same indicators, theyre just less dexterous so they end up looking like "underdogs" despite being two violent middleaged men on a regular/ritualized crimespree for strictly personal profit and pleasure, vs one violent 8 year old whose entire ability to survive revolves around the house he's squatting not being destroyed (eg flooded) and/or overrun with cops (this is why he calls the cops from the neighbors and says he's mr. Murphy; he doesnt want to go into foster care or whatever, he's self-emancipated and thats a precarious position. He has no legal right to his dwelling or his newfound autonomy.

Also, he clearly demonstrates empathy. The problem is that his older brother is a bad influence, his family expects slightly too much maturity and gives too little genuine concern and they mercilessly punish failures of this functionally-mandated, developmentally-pressured maturity and emotional low maintenance, and he's an american born in the 80s*. So his overall spread on the psychopathic trait bingocard is upsetting. But buzz is entirely worse and the rest of the family are just too up their own asses to see this. Its all in the scripts and the scenework. Buzz is a total freak and kevin is stuck in a competitive dynamic with him. Its a nightmare. The parents are clearly hyper-permissive with buzz, likely because, as demonstrated at the effectively-unmediated family trial in HA2, he has the modicum of self-confident finesse that (just maybe 🙃) comes with his age/experience advantage and the low emotional deprivation he experiences as The Oldest (this seems to be That kind of nuclear family--defacto/unconsciusly patriarchal; kevin isnt The Baby, he's the RUNT. The omega runt, Fuller, isnt part of their specific nuclear unit but kevin barely outranks him across the whole family as we've seen it--the fact that there is a steep, linear pecking order (siiiiigh, ~hierarchy~) is established by the hide-a-bed fiasco. Ergo kevin is outranked by everyone in his own daily unit; we see them shit on him, it flows like their breathing. We see them primed to be so dottingly receptive to buzz's proxy gaslighting of kevin; they revile kevin as a matter of course, whereas buzz can virtually do no wrong. "I hate this family" fuck, me too kid, me too. Fuck em all, fuck the robbers, fuck everyone except bird lady and mr duncan and the shovel slayer. Fuck this meme and all its versions, fuck the meme makers, and finally fuck renegade cut for privilege-jacketing an 8 year old in order to uplift his abusers to the status of antiheroes for obsessively refusing to just not break into that one house, ~because ~harry ~had ~his ~eye ~on ~it. My incredulity seems boundless, because its been YEARS since these memes or that video were made and i havent found the bounds yet. I was hoping to care less by now but it pretty much just makes me madder and madder.

Tell you what, new lore drop: kevin transitions in college and lesbian-marries the shovel slayer's grandkid after a mutual proposal at the new york symphony and they run a bespoke gourmet salt sample mailer box (and seasonal plowing) business together in schaumberg and every december they go to the old church they first met at, and help organize a toy drive

*if kevin is 8 during the first movie and it's set during release year not filming, he was born in 82. Tough vintage! In some ways the 85's are the worst and in some ways we're where the wave broke (and fuck gen x)

[matoitech]

also b4 i take my leave for the night let me just say that incest survivors do not need 'more justification’ to be uncomfortable with something anyway but especially not something as blatantly fucking obvious as a few select freaks ‘interpreting’ galos relationship w the guy who, obviously if u have watched the fucking movie and also explicit from the fucking director if that was Necessary to know and not just EXTREMELY OBVIOUS, galo viewed like a father, as ‘actually uhh he had a crush on him! in love with his dad or something its not incest tho cuz its adoptive lol’. it is ENTIRELY on you if you cant understand how that would make ppl upset. especially like, gay men who r incest survivors. like there is so much i could say about this one thing being that these ppl were so fandom brainrotted, disgustingly homophobic and fetishistic, fucked up in general, that they cant view relationships between fictional men as familial or platonic so even ABUSE has to be filtered thru this lense of ‘actually the 15 or so yrs of abuse and heavy manipulation and trying to kill galo, starting since galo was a disabled orphan child w no support system or protection and zero adult figures in his life except this One guy that came in2 his life after killing his parents and lying abt it, using him as political fodder to boost his own career, just to talk abt the START of all this before the movie events even happen, is not important. no, thats not my ‘interpretation’ you see, my ‘interpretation’ i can get off to is that the tragedy of this relationship is actually ‘guy sad this guy twice his age doesnt like him back, or something. its not incest bcuz theyre not Really related and if i just pretend galo didnt see him as his parent it will make it true. i think gay men r gross freaks btw. also i am incapable of viewing abuse in fiction as anything but thru a romantic lense no matter how fucked up and completely pulled out of my ass it is’

[dateamonster]

ive thought abt it ive meditated on it and i do like x significantly more than i thought i would

my first impressions led me to believe it was going to be an """elevated horror""" take on a bog standard slasher, with the adult film angle mainly being used as a gimmick to shock and tantalize while paying some lip service to the (s)exploitation history of the subgenre. from the trailer alone you could see it was heavily referencing slashers past (mainly texas chainsaw) but it was hard to get a sense of the movies identity outside of that. with how obsessed the genre (and all genres really) currently is with stealing the moves and iconography of more recognizable and nostalgic IPs, paired with the fucking lightning quick release of a prequel, i kinda wrote x off as a sales strategy dressed up like a movie. and idk i still stand by like parts of that. ive heard that pearl is the wildly superior movie (planning to watch that next) so it makes me wonder if x was just like a means to drum up interest in a movie that otherwise wouldnt have been as marketable. if that is at all the case, i have to give it up to the creators because that is such a bold and honestly kind of hilarious strat and funniest of all it seems to have totally worked. this is all still speculation of course.

but x on its own is a pretty strong movie. idk if its an especially good horror movie, but it is a good movie, and i feel like that sorta takes precedent. the characters were all well-defined and interesting. there was a good mix of likable folks that made you want to see them survive and assholes with satisfying deaths- the two prime forms of slasher victim imo. most importantly in my opinion, the story engaged honestly and meaningfully the subjects of sex and sex work. the way the genre typically treats sexuality has historically been... less than progressive, and though its still ultimately a story about sex workers being killed by repressed octogenarians, which is gonna be what it is no matter what, i felt pleasantly surprised by the treatment of the characters and the subject matter.

it doesnt feel like an arbitrary gimmick either. more i think the conflict between the elderly antagonists and their lodgers represents the conflict between the free love and sex positive movements of the 60s and 70s and the rise of christian conservative moralism in response to it, ominously foreshadowing its crest only a few short years after the events of the movie during the hiv/aids crisis.

i interpreted the movies thesis as this idea that hostility towards sexuality particularly between generations stems from this repression and agonized frustration at the loss of sex, beauty, youth. the movie draws all these interesting visual and narrative parallels between the two conflicting parties, particularly between maxine and pearl, which is obviously heightened by the fact that mia goth plays both characters in either movie respectively, which seem to suggest that pearl is a version of maxine who never got to live her superstar dreams, who is deeply burdened by regret and the passage of time and takes it out on those she sees as flaunting their privileges. its a phenomenon we still see in real time today: "why does this sheltered, soft younger generation get to have it so easy, when i had it so hard." clumsy as the execution felt in some places, the core premise is strong.

the places where x doesnt work for me or mostly in its desperation to make moments feel scarier than they are with ominous sound design and erratic editing. it doesnt not work, i guess, but the result feels undeserved. the actual horror part of this horror movie is its weakness. its the first time i can remember where i was engaged up until the middle of the latter half where the killing actually takes off. it just didnt do it for me, and the way the elderly couples bodies and sexuality were exploited to try and provoke horror and disgust felt especially like it was just trying too hard. i cant deny those scenes were uncomfortable, but not for the reasons the filmmakers seemed to think, and never to the point of fear or dread.

my favorite parts of x were the moments that explored the relationships between the young movie makers. i honestly feel like that in and of itself couldve been the whole movie and i wouldve been just as happy. bobby-lynne i think was a delightful, undersold character, with her marilyn monroe looks and quiet, profound emotional intelligence, as well as the unflinching pride in her career of choice. jackson i wish couldve been a focus more, if only because i feel like media is so afraid to talk about male sex workers and especially the way that role intersects with race. the film their making itself is predicated on a really loaded racialized dynamic and i know focusing more on that would probably totally take focus off the main story but its still really interesting and it feels strange just sort of letting that hang in the air.

the subplot regarding rj and lorraine is incredibly interesting and frustrating to me. x just fucking nails it with this one. lorraines sudden desire to join the movie felt a little forced to me but im overlooking that because it gives way to this sharp, incisive character moment, revealing that rj, for all he likes to talk about porn being art, looks down on its participants. his supposed sex positivity only holds out as long as he can retain a clear mental distinction between the good girls (chaste, but not too prudish, of course) and the dirty sluts. its just such a succinct and accurate roast of the divide between person who benefits/profits from sex work vs the actual worker, and how thats informed by sexism, racism, classism. rj and wayne die horribly again challenge <3

anyway thats all i have to say for now i think. there were hits, there were misses, but i do think i absolutely get the hype now, even if i dont necessarily agree with it in absolutely every aspect. mia goth put in an amazing performance, obviously, as did the rest of the cast imho, and im very excited for pearl.

[apple-pecan]

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba – To the Hashira Training (2024)

this is gonna be the weirdest dumbest review i'll write yet so buckle up. im gonna preface this by saying i know nothing about demon slayer; i only watched this because a friend of mine wanted to watch it in the theaters with me and i thought it could be fun. i HAVE been curious about it though; i dont watch anime much at all anymore but it seems like demon slayer is one of those absolutely huge names in manga and anime right now, sorta like how naruto was in the 2000's and before that, dragon ball in the 80s/90s. one of these friggin films, demon slayer mugen train, became the highest grossing japanese film of all time, the highest grossing R rated animated film of all time (dethroning sausage party lol) AND the highest grossing movie of 2020, and this was all in the midst of fucking COVID. something's gotta be up. this has to be the greatest anime ever conceived then. if it is, i couldn't really tell from this movie.

i know the general gist of the plot from watching the first episode years ago; some kid is going about his merry day when suddenly almost his entire family is slaughtered by a demon, and to make matters worse, the only survivor is his sister, who has now been turned into a demon. and now he goes on a journey of revenge to kill that demon and make his sister into a human again. pretty cool premise, but i never watched more of it until tonight. oops.

according to reviews i dug up on imdb this is basically just a giant filler movie; the first half is the last episode of season 3 and the second half is the first episode of season 4, which hasn't aired on tv yet; this movie is mainly just for hardcore fans to see that episode before anyone else. i have not seen any of this show past the first episode, so the season 3 stuff was new to me, and i actually liked it quite a bit. the action was fun and very beautifully animated and there is a really cool emotional scene that i'm sure would've really struck a nerve with me had i been watching this show from it's inception. apparently none of this is new footage but from a non-fan i had a lot of fun with it.

the problem comes from its second half, which is supposed to be the main draw; besides one action scene (which was also very cool) at the beginning, it's nothing but exposition and really awkward and uncomfortable comic relief. the first half was so serious with it's grizzly and intense action and now we're just doing wacky cartoon faces and doing funny screams a lot. just seems really bizarre; in america the movie was rated R but i couldn't tell if this was supposed to be for children or adults. i mean a couple kids DID walk in the theater with what i assume to be their dad and them, me and my friend were the literal only people in the theater. that doesnt have much to do with the review but i just thought it was funny lol.

im sure the second half would've made more sense if i were to have, you know, watched the entire rest of the anime so far beforehand, but they just kept talking about a training session by these mystical demon slayers or whatever and i was so unengaged i took my phone out in the middle of the theater and started looking at twitter. as a non fan it was boring, but if you're not a fan of this anime, there is literally no reason for you to watch this in the first place. it fails as a traditional movie and is more so to just hype people up for the next season of demon slayer to be released. anyone remember evangelion: death & rebirth? no? okay never mind. if you're a fan of demon slayer, watch it if you're just that impatient for season 4 to air (even though what they show in this movie is pretty much all setup and filler with no actual plot progression), and for anyone else who just wants to watch one of those newfangled anime cartoons in theaters, dont even bother.

5/10

NOTE: blond hair guy has the best voice actor ever. i was watching the english dub and i didnt even know human beings could make those kinds of noises. give him the nobel peace prize or something.

[thewhizzyhead]

so yup i just saw the ben-platt-defends-the-deh-movie-casting-him thingy from 4 days ago so i'm a little late to the party but oh God i have a lot of thoughts woo here we go

so i'm gonna use The Prom as an example here since it's also a broadway musical-turned-movie that also features teenaged characters. Ariana DeBose and Jo Ellen Pellman (28 and 23/24 years old when they filmed the movie) are NOT teenagers and although they look quite young in the movie, I wouldn't really say that they look a lot like teens. But those two still gave outstanding performances as Alyssa Greene and Emma Nolan and them starring as teens still worked! Why? Because even though they don't look like teens, there is still a suspense of disbelief present because of the extravagant tone of the musical and the movie. Is the plot of The Prom at all realistic? I'd argue that it's umm probably not. Are the musical numbers realistic? DEFINITELY NOT. The fact that the setting of the musical and the movie is rather fantastical makes us excuse the teens-thats-don't-look-like-teens because it is clear that the film isn't at all supposed to be realistic.

Dear Evan Hansen, a show with themes such as anxiety and suicide, IS THE OPPOSITE OF FANTASTICAL. DEH is a show so deeply rooted in dreary and depressing realism that having someone that doesn't look like a teen play Evan in the film adaptation doesn't fucking work because it jars the overall realistic setting. The immersion is lost because the actor sticks out like a sore thumb. And for something like Dear Evan Hansen aka a show that relies on how hardhitting the emotional aspect of the show is, immersion is a MUST especially if the realism aspect is turned up a notch by adapting the show into a film. AND THAT IS WHY A TEEN SHOULD'VE BEEN CAST FOR THE FUCKING FILM MY GOD-

[woomycritiques543]

Just read that vent/rant post you did,holy shit,I don't know who's Star but what the actual F U C K[I honestly feel bad for you,are you doing okay as of right now?]

Yeah.... it's awful.

Even if I was Star, why would they still be stalking me after all those years if im not even interested in "Anti Hazbin" stuff anymore?

Since im not- Why is Cherry/What The Hazbin/Sia's (its a group) fans stalking and being racist towards this random kid that most of these people haven't spoke to in almost four years?! Wasn't the point of this community was to be against bullies and racists? It's so fucking creepy, reminds me of the "its your consequences!" harassment towards Erin Frost- but 10000x worse since it's racism towards this random black young woman they basically groomed into a hatedom to go after Vivziepop and her fans despite knowing that Star shouldnt even have been in this fandom at 15-17 to begin with, and now that the adults in the hatedom cant groom her anymore, they've been sending racial slurs and harassment towards this child, for years! The "anti hazbin" hatedom groomed this child into joining their hate groups by telling her how "great!" she is for saying what they want her to say towards Vivziepop and leaking her personal info behind her back (like they did on Tapatalk) and then the "Anti Hazbin" fandom groomed her again by "accepting" her into their hate group (discord and all) to bully Vivziepop and her fandom -and now they're spouting racism at this person of color for leaving?! Why?!

What is is? A online cult? Why?! Why do they keep harassing these poor kids with all this creepy parasocial shit?! Its so fucking weird and gross! It feels like im watching a psyhological horror movie. What the fuck?! These "anti hazbin" people really be convincing thier literal followers that its "ok" to harass people just because they wear a tshirt, like a cartoon (not even if its for bad reasons, but just because), or anyone who likes Viv or anyone who doesnt support their groups or the people they idolize so much. The other way around being- you guessed it, Vivziepop and her "followers" who feel the need to defend her for almost anything she does, spreads her ideolegies, harass any "disbeleivers" of her or her shows being "near perfect", etc. This is just a reverse of that!

In case you're wondering: These are the definitions of a "online cult":

It's either the Hazbin fandom and their parasocial relationship with Vivziepop causing them to try to harm anyone "bad faith" who doesnt agree with their ideolegies and only say that the "true" followers are the ones who almost 100% support her without quesitoning it or support her ideologies one way or another, or its the hatedom and how they also groom people (including children as young as 15 or less!) into following their ideolegies against Vivziepop, with the people they worship convincing them not just criticize Viv, but to outright (even if unintentionally due to the toxic nature of social media.) convince people to outright verbally abuse fans who dont agree with their ideologies and abuse those who try to no longer support said groups, same for the Hazbin fandom, but centering around toxic positivity instead of negativity. They are both literal online cults- one just centers around Vivziepop, while the other one centers around being against her to the point of basically worshipping people who outright have stated that they want her career destroyed, not just the group I mentioned but multiple people that they ideolize for their hazbin criticism posts no matter how awful that their behavior online becomes, the same way people idolize Vivziepop just because of the content she makes.

ANTI HAZBIN:

THE HAZBIN FANDOM: (Art Credit: Miss Nightmare.)

There's being supportive- and then there's being a goddamn cult and idolizing someone to parasocial extents and then creating propaganda about how anyone who doesnt support her are "haters!" regardless if they like Hazbin or not. Same with the kind of shit happening in the "Anti Hazbin" tag. You people are disgusting!

It's why ive turned off anon, Twitter and Tumblr is full of so much parasocial grossness from "im online so I say what I want!" racists and homophobes it's so disgusting. Ughhhhhhh it makes me feel like im touching a piece of dirt with a shit in it! Nasty people! 🤮 It's starting to make me question whether I should even use the "Hazbin Critical" tag since they also have creeps like this that have been targetting people for who knows how long. I know there's the "all fandoms are toxic!" statement but it comes to a point where things become outright cultish. It's so damn gross! What the hell?!

[toytulini]

u know what actually im just gonna say it, those posts that are like "if you can read x long fictional fandom thing you can read y long non fiction political commentary or dry long book or book about incredibly heavy and hard topics uwu" annoy the shit out of me. like i get the point theyre trying to make, but like. the insinuation that you can read this thing bc youre able to read this other VERY DIFFERENT thing in this like grating, condescending tone just pisses me off. not even touching on the fact that i know i personally struggle to even work up the executive function to read Fun Fictional Things i WANT to get into, its like...a Thing, im pretty sure, in ADHD that it is significantly Harder to focus on smth you are not actively interested in and sometimes obsessed with. like. i could tear through an entire book series im obsessed with in like 2 weeks but i would cry for hours every night trying to accomplish math homework that "should" take like 10 minutes, or finish a book that was assigned reading that you Hate and Cannot maintain focus on. Like, no, being able to focus on and finish one thing doesnt actually mean that you can accomplish the same with another Very Different Thing of the same length.

And like, thats not to say that we should Only ever read fun lighthearted fiction things and not have to focus on learning important info, about history and politics and systemic oppression, but like, can yall find a way to talk about it with condescendingly acting like engaging with these two things is exactly the same and that ppl who engage w the fun lighthearted accessible fiction thing are choosing the fun thing out of malice? like idk just recognize that it does require a different energy and state of mind to engage with that sort of thing.

[letstalkaboutfandomsbaby]

No but im thinking about chubby fem reader and Keishin Ukai growing up together and being close friends like having sleepovers and shit and reader doesnt think Keishin likes chubby girls so they dont bother wearing a bra around him or wearing clothing that covers them up bc why would Kei care?? He doesn't find her attractive so she can wear whatever feels comfortable, so if she wears boxer briefs and an oversized t-shirt without a bra during a sleepover, then it's fine right?

But in reality Keishin is so fucking in love with reader but he's too much of a dingus to confess his feelings, so he pines in silence. He struggles when you wrap yourself around his arm and press your tits into him or when you wear tank tops and short shorts on hot days, slurping on the popsicle he gave you from his shop.

You two still have sleepovers as adults, ordering takeout and watching movies, laughing at the horrible movies trying to be serious. He enjoys it immensely, but he feels like he's being punished when you wear those skimpy little boxers and your tshirt hangs off your soft shoulder, your nipples peaking through your shirt, your plump thighs on display. He can't help but stare at them while you focus on the movie, his mind wandering and imagining his teeth sinking into them.

The worst times tho were when the two of you eventually went to bed, huddled up on his futon. He always insisted that he sleep on the floor and you take it, but you always said that the two of you have "been friends for so long" that it shouldn't matter. And he would oblige, his body tense as you slept beside him, your cute chubby cheek pressed into your pillow. Sometimes you would drape yourself over him, one leg hooked over his hip as you nuzzled into his chest. He could feel your curvy body against his, heat radiating from your tender skin, leaving him throbbing. He wouldn't be able to sleep, his aching cock keeping him awake until he became fed up and slipped out of your grasp, rushing to his bathroom, hurriedly jerking his cock and wishing he could've just woken you up and fucked you instead

[buttercupsbitch]

im finally watching under the red hood (ik a jason stan who hasnt seen it, blasaphemous) and holy shit. Ive got so much to say abt this.

Firstly, the line "tell the big man i said hello" is both horrible and amazing. Joker planted the bomb. he knew jason was not leaving that place. He was telling jason to say hi to god.

on that note, joker comparing him to dick? awful. not only did bruce do it, but others too?

dick/nightwing is so funny??? i love it honestly

the idea that joker was innocent before batman caused his insanity just adds a whole new layer to jason using the name, red hood. both of his biggest regrets under the same name? 10/10

batman beating joker to the point hes in a body cast for six months over jason?? good. shouldve killed him.

dick being shocked that bruce thanked him is very sad??

i love little jason and his quips. its so cute and totally doesnt make me wonder if he was doing all the showy flips and lines to mimic dick bc he thinks thats the robin bruce wants

the way bruce puts the pieces together, i lowkey hope it hurt him to even think about it

jason said "these hands rated pg-17. gotta be an adult"

JASON SAYING "YOU HEARD WRONG" abt them saying he uses his power to kill for money bc REALLY HES PROTECTING KIDS

"What took you so long?" "Shut up and fight"

"I missed watching you work" man was not even trying to hide his identity was he

He pushed him out of the fucking way.

"be glad i only killed one" yessir. god i adore it here.

i love jensen ackles all the time but him as my favorite adoptive trauma buddy is the best thing ever. the quips yall.

maybe its my trauma but i like that bruce is blaming himself.

the amount of fucks that joker had in black mask scene is hilarious and very relatable. "not these guys. cause well. theyre kinda dead"

ive been saying ra's wrong. i thought it was pronounced Rays not raysh.

im glad that ra's feels bad. good. fuck you too.

also 10/10 for Talia. bc shes hot af in this movie, would watch anything that had her starring in this art style.

jason absolutely going ham on the league after they resurrect him is very on brand honestly.

BRUCE JUST LEAVNG WHILE RA'S IS TALKING FUCKING GOLD ok

"his life and his death are my greatest failures" good. feel bad you shit show. on that note, when he says life, im assuming he meant the way he treated him not yk actually regretting his life.

my partner. 10/10 my soldier 0/10

"MOTORCYLE FETISH" i love that so much. never heard anything better.

jason is legitimately so smart ok. the whole plan.

what is joker's obsession with slumber parties?

"something you helped make" i love it so much.

i hate that he was right that bruce would come save joker.

"crap." the deadman expression ik that man was wearing under that awful mask.

"what bothers you more? that your greatest failure has returned from the grave?" he thinks that he is the greatest failure when really its his death. awful.

"antiquated sense of morality" agreed. fuck him.

"i thought id be the last person you would let him hurt." how much more can you hurt me?

i hate that the reasoning behind keeping joker alive is actually just his own moral dilemma, no matter how much he says it isnt.

jason just wanted bruce to pick him one time. that was it.

becoming a child soldier was the best day of his life. let that sink in.

why do we never get to see adult jason's face? unfair.