#LOL and also - this has become something of a 'write the longest sentences possible but still only 5 sentences' challenge for me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bakug0stw1nk · 4 years

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Hello, everyone! This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. So here it is! This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! This is actually my third attempt at doing this. The first time, I didn't save it. The second time, the Neocities editor crashed. Now I'm writing this in Notepad, then copying it into the Neocities editor instead of typing it directly in the Neocities editor to avoid crashing. It sucks that my past two attempts are gone now. Those actually got pretty long. Not the longest, but still pretty long. I hope this one won't get lost somehow. Anyways, let's talk about WAFFLES! I like waffles. Waffles are cool. Waffles is a funny word. There's a Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. It's pretty annoying. There's also a Teen Titans Go episode about Pig Latin. Don't know what Pig Latin is? It's a language where you take all the consonants before the first vowel, move them to the end, and add '-ay' to the end. If the word begins with a vowel, you just add '-way' to the end. For example, "Waffles" becomes "Afflesway". I've been speaking Pig Latin fluently since the fourth grade, so it surprised me when I saw the episode for the first time. I speak Pig Latin with my sister sometimes. It's pretty fun. I like speaking it in public so that everyone around us gets confused. That's never actually happened before, but if it ever does, 'twill be pretty funny. By the way, "'twill" is a word I invented recently, and it's a contraction of "it will". I really hope it gains popularity in the near future, because "'twill" is WAY more fun than saying "it'll". "It'll" is too boring. Nobody likes boring. This is nowhere near being the longest text ever, but eventually it will be! I might still be writing this a decade later, who knows? But right now, it's not very long. But I'll just keep writing until it is the longest! Have you ever heard the song "Dau Dau" by Awesome Scampis? It's an amazing song. Look it up on YouTube! I play that song all the time around my sister! It drives her crazy, and I love it. Another way I like driving my sister crazy is by speaking my own made up language to her. She hates the languages I make! The only language that we both speak besides English is Pig Latin. I think you already knew that. Whatever. I think I'm gonna go for now. Bye! Hi, I'm back now. I'm gonna contribute more to this soon-to-be giant wall of text. I just realised I have a giant stuffed frog on my bed. I forgot his name. I'm pretty sure it was something stupid though. I think it was "FROG" in Morse Code or something. Morse Code is cool. I know a bit of it, but I'm not very good at it. I'm also not very good at French. I barely know anything in French, and my pronunciation probably sucks. But I'm learning it, at least. I'm also learning Esperanto. It's this language that was made up by some guy a long time ago to be the "universal language". A lot of people speak it. I am such a language nerd. Half of this text is probably gonna be about languages. But hey, as long as it's long! Ha, get it? As LONG as it's LONG? I'm so funny, right? No, I'm not. I should probably get some sleep. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back again. I basically have only two interests nowadays: languages and furries. What? Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. Haha, oops. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. When I'm older, I would like to have a fursuit, go to furry conventions, all that stuff. But for now I can only dream of that. Sorry you had to deal with me talking about furries, but I'm honestly very desperate for this to be the longest text ever. Last night I was watching nothing but fursuit unboxings. I think I need help. This one time, me and my mom were going to go to a furry Christmas party, but we didn't end up going because of the fact that there was alcohol on the premises, and that she didn't wanna have to be a mom dragging her son through a crowd of furries. Both of those reasons were understandable. Okay, hopefully I won't have to talk about furries anymore. I don't care if you're a furry reading this right now, I just don't wanna have to torture everyone else. I will no longer say the F word throughout the rest of this entire text. Of course, by the F word, I mean the one that I just used six times, not the one that you're probably thinking of which I have not used throughout this entire text. I just realised that next year will be 2020. That's crazy! It just feels so futuristic! It's also crazy that the 2010s decade is almost over. That decade brought be a lot of memories. In fact, it brought be almost all of my memories. It'll be sad to see it go. I'm gonna work on a series of video lessons for Toki Pona. I'll expain what Toki Pona is after I come back. Bye! 'm back now, and I decided not to do it on Toki Pona, since many other people have done Toki Pona video lessons already. I decided to do it on Viesa, my English code. Now, I shall explain what Toki Pona is. Toki Pona is a minimalist constructed language that has only ~120 words! That means you can learn it very quickly. I reccomend you learn it! It's pretty fun and easy! Anyway, yeah, I might finish my video about Viesa later. But for now, I'm gonna add more to this giant wall of text, because I want it to be the longest! It would be pretty cool to have a world record for the longest text ever. Not sure how famous I'll get from it, but it'll be cool nonetheless. Nonetheless. That's an interesting word. It's a combination of three entire words. That's pretty neat. Also, remember when I said that I said the F word six times throughout this text? I actually messed up there. I actually said it ten times (including the plural form). I'm such a liar! I struggled to spell the word "liar" there. I tried spelling it "lyer", then "lier". Then I remembered that it's "liar". At least I'm better at spelling than my sister. She's younger than me, so I guess it's understandable. "Understandable" is a pretty long word. Hey, I wonder what the most common word I've used so far in this text is. I checked, and appearantly it's "I", with 59 uses! The word "I" makes up 5% of the words this text! I would've thought "the" would be the most common, but "the" is only the second most used word, with 43 uses. "It" is the third most common, followed by "a" and "to". Congrats to those five words! If you're wondering what the least common word is, well, it's actually a tie between a bunch of words that are only used once, and I don't wanna have to list them all here. Remember when I talked about waffles near the beginning of this text? Well, I just put some waffles in the toaster, and I got reminded of the very beginnings of this longest text ever. Okay, that was literally yesterday, but I don't care. You can't see me right now, but I'm typing with my nose! Okay, I was not able to type the exclamation point with just my nose. I had to use my finger. But still, I typed all of that sentence with my nose! I'm not typing with my nose right now, because it takes too long, and I wanna get this text as long as possible quickly. I'm gonna take a break for now! Bye! Hi, I'm back again. My sister is beside me, watching me write in this endless wall of text. My sister has a new thing where she just says the word "poop" nonstop. I don't really like it. She also eats her own boogers. I'm not joking. She's gross like that. Also, remember when I said I put waffles in the toaster? Well, I forgot about those and I only ate them just now. Now my sister is just saying random numbers. Now she's saying that they're not random, they're the numbers being displayed on the microwave. Still, I don't know why she's doing that. Now she's making annoying clicking noises. Now she's saying that she's gonna watch Friends on three different devices. Why!?!?! Hi its me his sister. I'd like to say that all of that is not true. Max wants to make his own video but i wont let him because i need my phone for my alarm.POOP POOP POOP POOP LOL IM FUNNY. kjnbhhisdnhidfhdfhjsdjksdnjhdfhdfghdfghdfbhdfbcbhnidjsduhchyduhyduhdhcduhduhdcdhcdhjdnjdnhjsdjxnj Hey, I'm back. Sorry about my sister. I had to seize control of the LTE from her because she was doing keymash. Keymash is just effortless. She just went back to school. She comes home from school for her lunch break. I think I'm gonna go again. Bye! Hello, I'm back. Let's compare LTE's. This one is only 8593 characters long so far. Kenneth Iman's LTE is 21425 characters long. The Flaming-Chicken LTE (the original) is a whopping 203941 characters long! I think I'll be able to surpass Kenneth Iman's not long from now. But my goal is to surpass the Flaming-Chicken LTE. Actually, I just figured out that there's an LTE longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE. It's Hermnerps LTE, which is only slightly longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE, at 230634 characters. My goal is to surpass THAT. Then I'll be the world record holder, I think. But I'll still be writing this even after I achieve the world record, of course. One time, I printed an entire copy of the Bee Movie script for no reason. I heard someone else say they had three copies of the Bee Movie script in their backpack, and I got inspired. But I only made one copy because I didn't want to waste THAT much paper. I still wasted quite a bit of paper, though. Now I wanna see how this LTE compares to the Bee Movie script. Okay, I checked, and the Bee Movie script is 50753 characters long. Not as long as some of the LTEs I mentioned, but still longer than mine and Kenneth Iman's combined. This LTE is getting close to 10000 characters! That means it'll be half the length of Kenneth Iman's LTE. That's pretty exciting. Also, going back to the topic of the Bee Movie Script, I tried to write the entire thing out by hand once. But I never finished it, especially since I'm focusing on this thing now. Maybe I should write this LTE out by hand. Nah, I don't think I will. Yay, we're at 10000 characters! Let's celebrate by talking about MUSIC! Music is cool. That concludes our celebratory discussion about music. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day. Hi, I'm back now, and I got a book! It's a dictionary for a language called Elefen. It's like Esperanto, but better. Now I can learn Elefen even without internet! That's pretty cool. I will now write something in Elefen. See if you can understand it! Here goes: Si tu pote leje esta, tu es merveliosa! Elefen es un lingua multe fresca! Did you understand that? Maybe you can't speak Elefen, but you still understood that because of your knowledge of other languages. Elefen is cool because it's an actual language, not an English code like Pig Latin or Viesa. Oh, I forgot to mention that my sister is back from school. She's blasting Rhett and Link songs right now. Have you seen that picture of Rhett and Link standing with a bunch of *******? Sorry, I almost said the F word there. That would've broken my rule of not saying the F word. I wrote something in Elefen, so I will also write something in Toki Pona. See if you can understand it now! sina sona e toki mi la sina pona mute a! I can speak Toki Pona fluently, by the way. It's also a pretty cool language. My sister is still playing annoying songs. It's hindering my focus right now. But it's fiiiiine. Okay, luckily she's run out of songs to play. At least for now. She's trying to think of another annoying song to play. Now she's playing a song by Green Day. Not NEARLY as bad as the other songs she just played. I should go for now. Goodbye! Hello, I'm back once again. I don't know why I feel obligated to say that every time I come back. But I'll keep doing it anyway. My sister stopped blasting annoying songs, so that's good. She's cooking something in the microwave. I'll go check to see what it is right now. Nevermind, it's already done cooking. Right, I remember! It's mac and cheese! Now she just started singing "I have a tongue, you don't, because I cut it off yesterday". I don't know what goes on in her mind when she does stuff like that. I've been messing around with my Elefen dictionary for a while, looking up whatever random words I can think of. By the way, the whole reason I'm doing this longest text ever is because of pointlesssites.com. That's how I found the Flaming-Chicken LTE, which inspired me to start writing this LTE. So thanks, pointlesssites.com! I check that website every day to see what new pointless websites they add. You know, I could double every letter I type so that this text would be twice as long as it normally would be. But nah, that's kinda cheating. So I won't. Also, SUBSCRIBE TO PEWDIEPIE! There, I did my part. Not that anyone will read this, but still. 'Twould be nice if you subscribed to PewDiePie. That's another word I invented. Actually, I looked it up, and I didn't invent it. Someone came up with it before I did. That's pretty sad. Also, LEARN VIESA TODAY! IT WILL CURE YOUR DEPRESSION! Seriously though, learn Viesa. It won't actually cure your depression, but I'm desperate for speakers. I only have one other person to speak it with. I should go now. Goodbye. Hi, I’m back. I just came up with an idea: SIMPLIFIED ENGLISH! Or, in Simplified Engish: Simifid Enis. It’s where every group of consonant letters is reduced to the first consonant in that group of consonants, and same goes with the vowels. If a word ends up being just a single consonant with no vowel, put ‘a’ at the end. So “I like eating my waffles” becomes “I like etin ma wafes”. Isn’t it the most amazing thing ever? Nah, it’s not quite as amazing as Viesa. Actually, Viesa isn’t a real language, so it’s less amazing then Elefen and Toki Pona, both of which are cool languages. I kinda figured that half of this text would be about languages. Oh well. I just really want this to be the longest text ever, without using copy and paste, keymash, etc. If you remember, my sister did a little bit of keymash in this text a while ago. I would’ve deleted it, but nah, I didn’t feel like it. And besides, it’s not like it took up half this text. I have an estimate for how long it’ll take me to be the world record holder: about one month. I think I can manage one month of writing this. You know what? I’m just gonna break my rule of not saying the word “furry”. There, I said it. Now I’m allowing myself to write “furry” whenever I want. So with that out of the way, let’s talk about how I first became a furry. For some reason, I have the exact date when I became a furry memorized. It’s May 4, 2018. At that time, I discovered that I was a furry by watching some furry YouTube videos. I knew about the existence of furries years before this, but I didn’t know much about it until this time. I said to myself, “You know what? I’m a furry now,” and that’s what started it all. And I’ve been slowly learning more about the fandom ever since. I would like to participate more in the fandom when I’m older, but I’m too young for most of it right now. Guess I’ll just have to wait. But in the meantime, I can write about it in this text. I should sleep now. Goodnight. Hello, I'm back once again. Happy Pi Day! I memorized a bunch of digits of Pi once, not sure how many I still remember... I have literally nothing to write about now. I've been trying to come up with something for the past 10 minutes, and I still have no idea. Literally nothing is happening right now. It's pretty boring. My sister is watching Friends, as usual. Okay, since there's nothing for me to write about, I should go now. Bye! Wow, it has been a while since I last added to this. It is now July 10, 2019. Last time I edited this page was Pi Day, which was March 14. Those 4 months of this thing being untouched end today! Wait... 4 months? That means I was supposed to get this past the world record three months ago. Oh well. I have put many things into this text. A lot of them were cringy, like how I keep mentioning furry-related things. You know, I should stop putting things in here when I know I'm gonna cringe at them later. I'll try not to do that from here on out. I just know I'll fail though. I'd hate to be aware of someone reading this entire thing... like, if I had to sit and watch a family member or something read this entire text, I would cringe so hard. I would not want that to happen. I am currently pasting the entirety of the FlamingChicken LTE onto a page on OurWorldOfText. The frustrating thing about pasting stuff there is that it pastes one letter at a time, so it takes forever to paste long text. And when the tab isn't open, I'm pretty sure it just stops pasting, so you have to keep the tab open if you want it to continue. Why am I even doing this? No idea. I might not even paste the whole thing. I probably won't. Hey, I just had a thought. What if, in the future, students are reading this for a class assignment? What if this LTE becomes part of the school curriculum? If so, hi future student! I hope you're enjoying reading my CRINGE. What is my life coming to? That's enough writing for now. Goodbye. Hey again. Might as well continue writing in here for a bit. Hey, have you ever heard of 3D Movie Maker? It's a program from the 90s (that still works on modern computers) where you can make 3D animated movies. It's pretty cool. I've made a few movies with it myself, and many other people use it to make interesting stuff. In case you want to try it for yourself, I'm sure if you google "3dmm download" or something like that, it will take you somewhere where you can download the program. It's kinda aimed at younger children, but hopefully that doesn't stop you from making absolute masterpieces with this program. I have a keyboard in my room (the musical kind, not the one you type words on), and I don't really know how to play it properly, but I do it anyways. I can play a few songs on the piano (albeit with weird fingering because like I just said, I have no idea what I'm doing), including HOME - Resonance and PilotRedSun - Bodybuilder. You might not know one or both of those songs. If you don't know one of them, why not google it? You will have discovered some new music, and it will all be because of me. Why are you reading this, anyways? How did you even find it? Were you like me, and you were browsing pointlesssites.com, eventually finding the FlamingChicken LTE and going down a rabbit hole of discovering random LTEs? Literally the only reason I'm writing this right now is because that happened. I just discovered a new LTE: the RainbowFluffySheep LTE. I'm gonna see how many characters long it is. 75,957 characters. Pretty long, but not as long as the top two LTEs (FlamingChicken and Hermnerps, both with around 200,000 characters). I wanna write as much as possible into this text today. I'm gonna see how much LTE-writing I can do in one day. Hopefully it's a lot, because I wanna hold a world record! Imagine having a world record. Well, would it really be a world record? Because I don't know of any world record books that have "Longest Text Ever" as a record. Oh well, I just hope this LTE passes exactly 230,634 characters. That's all my goal is. I'm not even a tenth of the way there yet, but give it a month and I'm sure I'll get there. Hey, remember last time I said it would only take a month? That was four months ago. I should just stop promising things all together at this point. Forget I said anything about that. Did you know my sister has an LTE? That's right! It's not very long, though, and you can't read it because it's on her phone. She made it while bored at the library. That library was where I used to have web design classes. Those were fun, but I don't do them anymore. Now all I do it sit at home and write stuff in here. Well, I'm exaggerating. I go to the convenience store with my sister sometimes. But that's pretty much it outside of being bored on a computer. I should be a less boring human being. One day, I should translate this entire LTE into Viesa. That would be a big waste of time, even bigger than writing the LTE itself. But I could still do it. I don't think I ever will. This text is simply too long, and it'll be even longer than that by the time I pass 230,634 characters. By the way, if you think I'm gonna stop writing this once I pass 230,634 characters, you're wrong! Because I'll keep writing this even after I pass that point. It'll feel nice to be way ahead the record. My sister's alarm clock has been going off for half an hour and I haven't turned it off. Why? Because LAZYNESS! Actually, I really should turn it off now. There, I turned it off. First when I tried to turn it off, it started playing the radio. Then I tried again, and it turned off completely. Then I hurt myself on the door while walking out. So that was quite the adventure. I'm gonna go sleep now. Goodnight! Hey, I'm back again. My computer BSOD'd while writing this, so I have to start this section over again. That's why you save your work, kids! Before I had to start over again, I was talking about languages. Yes, I decided to bring that topic back after a while. But I no longer want to talk about it. Why? Because it'll probably bore you to death. That is assuming you're reading this at all. Who knows, maybe absolutely zero people will read this within the span of the universe's existence. But I doubt that. There's gotta be someone who'll find this text and dedicate their time to reading it, even if it takes thousands of years for that to happen. What will happen to this LTE in a thousand years? Will the entire internet dissapear within that time? In that case, will this text dissapear with it? Or will it, along with the rest of what used to be the internet, be preserved somewhere? I'm thinking out loud right now. Well, not really "out loud" because I'm typing this, and you can't technically be loud through text. THE CLOSEST THING IS TYPING IN ALL CAPS. Imagine if I typed this entire text like that. That would be painful. I decided to actually save my work this time, in case of another crash. I already had my two past attempts at an LTE vanish from existance. I mean, most of this LTE is already stored on Neocities, so I probably won't need to worry about anything. I think I might change the LTE page a little. I want the actual text area to be larger. I'm gonna make it a very basic HTML page with just a header and text. Maybe with some CSS coloring. I don't know. Screw it, I'm gonna do it. There, now the text area is larger. It really does show how small this LTE is so far compared to FlamingChicken or Hermnerps. But at least I made the background a nice Alice Blue. That's the name of the CSS color I used. It's pretty light. We're getting pretty close to the 1/10 mark! That's the point where we're one tenth of the way to making this the longest text ever, meaning all I have to do is write the equivalent of everything I've already written so far nine more times! Not gonna make any promises, though. How come every time I try to type "though", it comes out as "thought"? Why do I always type the extra T? It's so annoying that I have to delete the T every time. Okay, only mildly annoying. Not as annoying as I previously described. I apologize for my exaggeration of the annoyance level of me typing "thought" instead of "though". I just realized that most of the games I play are games that I've been playing for at least six years. I started playing Garry's Mod in 2013, Minecraft in whatever year version 1.2.3 came out. Now I have to look that up. March 2, 2012. So I started playing Minecraft approximately during that time. Wow, seven years ago! Coincidentally, I was also seven years old then. I remember the days of 2012-13. That was when I still played Roblox and made terrible YouTube videos. I was called "Infinite Budgets" back then. I also remember the days of 2016. A lot of people thought that was a terrible year, but for me personally, it brings me a lot of nostalgia because I talked a lot with my online friend at the time, and I did livestreams on YouTube and stuff. It was fun. 2016 was also when I got the phone that I still have to this day. Yup, my phone is three years old. My life was completely different when I got this phone: I was 11 years old, my YouTube channel actually had activity, and I wasn’t writing this text. I’m currently writing this in the car. We are on out way to the dollar store. And since I’m writing this on my phone, I’m making a lot more typos than usual. Some of them might make it through, so be prepared for that. Anyways, we appear to be getting close to the dollar store. I have a gift card for that place. I think so anyways, it might be for a different store... Yup, this dollar store is different. Oh well. My sister has an obsession with sponges. I’m sure she’s gonna find the sponges and go crazy over them. Why does she like sponges so much? No idea. She just found a bag of tiny baby dolls, and she wants to put them in ice cubes and call it “Ice Ice Baby”. She is truly a strange human being. My sister also has an obsession with stuffies. She has such an addiction, that she’s banned from them. Now she found the wigs and she’s considering buying one. She’s been looking at them for quite a while now. We’re out of the dollar store, and now we’re going to the computer store. I have no idea why we’re here. I guess we just are. Now we’re going home. Welp, that was a fun adventure. Stay tuned for more fun adventures as you read through this LTE. I should go now. Bye! Hello again. I made a private world on OurWorldOfText for my sister and I, but she doesn't want to join it. She doesn't think it'll be fun. Now I'm just editing it alone. How sad. But oh well. Now I’m here adding more to this text. I once made a Discord server specifically for a language called “Bo”, where the only word is “bo”. I made it almost four months ago, and somehow, it’s still going. People are still spamming nothing but “bo” there. It’s great. I also once made a server where you’re not allowed to use any vowels. It was a very strange server. I deleted it after some time though, so all that insanity is no more. I also used to own a Pig Latin server, but it got inactive so I deleted that too. We had some good memories in that server though. Now there’s a new Pig Latin server, but it’s not owned by me. Dang, my YouTube channel has been dead for so long. I haven’t posted a video in a year. I want to revive it, but I don’t know what to post there. I’ll figure it out. I doubt my channel will ever go back to it’s 2016 legacy, but I’m sure I’ll post something eventually. Random fact of the day: there are thirty-nine question marks so far in this text. Am I about to make it forty? Yes, I just did. Now the fact I initially stated is no longer true. Or is it? Because I said “so far” in the fact, that implies that we’re talking about the moment that fact was said, disregarding any future events. Now I’m pretty sure that fact is still technically true. Welp, I guess I should just accept that I’m editing that world of text alone for the rest of my life. I originally put a bunch of complaining in there, but I deleted it all. The thing is, now that world will never be same without all of that complaining about my sister not being here. But that’s fine. Hey, I just had a cool realization. Basically, there’s this conlang (constructed language, for those not in the know) server where we have a Sentence of the Week activity. In this activity, someone posts a text with a maximum of nine sentences, then people translate it into their own conlangs. My realization is this: if we take nine sentences from this LTE every week, there would be a whole year of sentences for people to translate. There are approximantly 523 sentences in this LTE. Divide that by 9 sentences each week, and you get 58 weeks worth of sentences, which is approximantly the number of weeks in a year. Quick maths. I actually suck at math, but that’s besides the point. I should go now. Goodbye! Hello, I’m back again. I really need to come up with different hello and goodbye messages, because I’ve already said “Hello, I’m back again” once before. Same with the “I should go now. Goodbye!” I said at the end of the previous section. I was going to explain what a “section” is, but I’m terrible at explaining things, so I’m not going to anymore. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out yourself. It’s probably not very hard to figure out, anyways. I guess I can just say that a section starts with me saying hello, and ends with me saying goodbye. That should be enough explaination, now that I think about it. Hey, do you ever feel like you never have any idea what you’re talking about? That’s my entire life. I just summarized it all in one sentence. On an unrelated note, I feel like half this LTE is just me talking about the LTE itself. I mean, press CTRL+F on this webpage, then type “LTE”. Look at all the times I use it in this text! Not counting the ‘lte’ in the word ‘multe’, of course. Dang, now the search results will include that, too. Anyways, half of this text is just me talking about how I’m trying to get this text to be the longest. Well, the longest LTE, anyways. I still have a long way to go. I’m only 12.7% of the way there. I mean, minus the four month gap, my estimation is that I’ve only been writing this for not even two weeks. So it makes sense that this LTE isn’t very long yet. Whenever I look at this webpage, it looks long at first glance, but the longer I look at it, the more I realize how short it actually is. It’s something that I can’t explain. For real this time. I just realized that none of this is helping the fact that half this LTE is about the LTE itself. I should bring up a new topic, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about much else. Why? Because, like I said, I never have any idea what I’m talking about. Most of this LTE is just me talking about LTEs or languages. Sometimes furries, but I don’t wanna go back into that territory at this point. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m still gonna write this LTE for as long as possible, even if it means talking about the same things half the time. Also, LEARN VIESA! Haven’t said that in a while, so I might as well bring it back. The documentation for Viesa is on this very website, so go ahead and read it! You might need to know some linguistic knowledge to understand it, though. In fact, you probably won’t understand most of it unless you know some amount about lingusitics, so you have been warned. If Viesa is too much for you, Pig Latin will probably be better for you. If it's so easy that kids can learn it, you can too! It's a language you can learn in probably five minutes, so why not give it a try? You may also enjoy Ubbi Dubbi, where you place 'ub' before every vowel sound. It's also a very easy language to learn, although not quite as popular. The thing is, none of these are even real languages. They're just codes, and very simple codes at that. You could probably crask Pig Latin or Ubbi Dubbi rather easily. Viesa too, actually. But I still enjoy them occasionally, even if Pig Latin and Ubbi Dubbi are inefficient and easy to crack, and Viesa is easy to crack yet unneccesarily difficult. I do make real languages, but I never put in the effort to learn them to fluency. At least I make them at all. Here’s a fun game: I will open up a random page from a book, and tell you the first word I see. English. That’s the word. Stay tuned for more fun games as you read through this LTE. We’re back, and we’re gonna play the same game as before. Ready? Subject. Now we’re gonna do it again. Reading. And again. Itself. Constituent. Grammar. Colloquial. Black. Outline. Add. About four of those words were language related. You’ll never guess why! (Spoiler alert: it’s a conlanging book). I’m running out of ideas now. I’m just gonna generate a random word and try to talk about it. Forbid. That’s the opposite of “allow”, I’m pretty sure. I don’t really know what else to say. Well, I guess I failed at generating a topic I could talk about. You know what's weird? My favorite word hasn't been used once in this entire text. I'm about to change that forever. Epic. Yup, my favorite word is "epic". I use it on a regular basis. I say "That's epic" all the time. It's a word I can't live without. Hey, I've now written more of this text after the 4 month gap than before it! Just thought I'd share that fact. Also, I'm gonna try and write as much as possible in this LTE today. I've already written more today than the day I first said I was gonna write as much as possible, so that's a good sign. The thing is, I don't know what to write about. I need to write about something, otherwise I won't write at all and I won't accomplish my goal. Wait, what goal should I set? How many characters should I write today? I'm gonna try and get 10,000 characters. I've already written almost 5,000 today, so from here I just have to write the equivellant of everything I've already written today. I'm just gonna try it and see if I make it. Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a bigger goal, like 15,000 or even 20,000 in one day. Actually, I don't know if 20,000 would even be possible for me. It might be, but it sounds like somewhat of a stretch for me to write that much in a single day. We'll see how long 10,000 takes, though. I'm already doing a bad job at this. I haven't typed anything here in several minutes. I need a topic. Um, Vabungula, I guess? Basically, it's a conlang created by Bill Price in 1965. It amazes me how one can work on a single conlang for that long. Most of the conlangs I start making die after 15 minutes. Anyways, I really like it because... um, I don't know, actually. There's not really anything about it that's super interesting (other than how long it's existed), it's just his personal conlang. Maybe it's the amount of development that went into it. It has over 5,000 dictionary entries and several texts written in the language. I'm sure most people reading this don't care about my language related talk, but I gotta make this long. I'm desperate to reach my 10,000 character goal. I've got 4,000 to go. I just found a website that generates random art from a seed. I just put this entire text as the seed, and it generated something quite nice. I would put the picture here, but I want this LTE to be nothing but text, so I won't do that. I've been playing with this for a while now. Many of the seeds produce boring pictures, but some of them are nice. For example, I just used "e" as the seed and it produced a nice looking picture. "a" looks nice too, arguably nicer. I've been using nothing but the word "nice" to describe these pictures. Maybe it's time to get a bigger vocabulary? "b" looks, um, good? I don't have the right vocabulary for this. I also don't feel like doing every single letter, because the pictures take some time to generate. But if you want to do it for yourself, just go to random-art.org and try it out! By the way, this is another website I found through pointlesssites.com. You know, the same website that lead me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which lead me to begin writing this whole thing. But what made me discover pointlesssites.com? Vsauce mentioned it. But what made me discover Vsauce? YouTube Reccomendations, probably. But what made me discover YouTube? As far as I remember, my dad showed it to me when I was 6. So I would like to thank my dad for being the reason I started writing this. He's the one who showed me YouTube, which reccomended me Vsauce, which mentioned pointlesssites.com, which brought me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which inspired me to start my own LTE. If he had never shown me YouTube, I wouldn't be here writing this text, and you wouldn't be reading it. Well, that's probably not true, because I probably would have discovered YouTube by other means, thus leading me to Vsauce, leading me to Vsauce, leading me to pointlesssites.com, leading me to the FlamingChicken LTE, leading me to... okay, I really need to stop now. I've gone too far. But you know what I haven't gone too far with? This LTE. I don't think I even can go too far with writing this text. Unless this text gets so long that it surpasses the 1GB storage limit of Neocities. In which case, I'll need to upgrade to Supporter in order to get a 50GB storage limit. But what if the text gets so long that is surpasses that? I don't think I'll ever make it there. I mean, 50GB is about 50 trillion characters. So I think we're good. I still need to get to 10,000 by the end of today. I've got 1,500 to go. Currently watching a livestream. It's reminding me of when I used to livestream back in 2016. I still kinda miss those days. But at the same time, I was quite awkward and had zero social skills, so I'm not sure if I'd want to go back. At this point, everything I've written today is longer than what can fit on the screen at once. At least on my computer screen. It probably changes with different screen resolutions and devices. But anyways, it's pretty unusual for that much of the LTE to be written in a single day. I don't want to pressure myself into writing this much every day, though. Last time I forced myself to complete a certain amount of something every day, it was overwhelming and I ended up losing motivation, thus letting down all my fans who were anticipating the August 30th, 2016 release date. Okay, the amount of eager fans was probably a number you could count on one hand, but still. By the way, if you're wondering what this "something" was, it was GoAnimated Garbage: The Movie, which was supposed to be an hour long episode of a series I made to make fun of random GoAnimate videos. In case you're not the type of person who knows what GoAnimate is... hoo boy. Basically, it's a drag-and-drop animation website infamous for the "grounded videos" that people made with it, among other types of videos. It's this whole community that I neither can explain nor want to explain. But I had somewhat of an association with that community back in the day. On my YouTube channel, I used to make a genre of GoAnimate video known as the "OS video". Typically an OS video is where some sort of hated character within the GoAnimate community forcefully installs their operating system onto a user's computer, and the user has to deal with this OS until they eventually find a way to "destroy" it. I made five of these videos. In chronological order: Caillou OS, Boots OS, Franklin OS, Little Bill OS, and Crap OS X. Caillou OS is the most viewed video on my main channel, which is unsurprising since Caillou is pretty much THE character associated with the GoAnimate community. When I made that video, it was a big transition for my channel. The channel's name was changed from Infinite Budgets, which had been my name since 2013 when I made crappy Roblox videos, to Allisima. All of my old videos were deleted, with the exception of my "Barney Errors", which was yet another genre of GoAnimate video. Basically, a Barney error is when a user's computer/console/whatever session is interrupted by a "Barney Error", a message informing the user that Barney has been killed, and the device must not be turned off because it's an "important message". There's also a bomb that's placed in Barney's "lair", the timer for which is displayed in the error. The user gets some amount of "chances", and every time the device is turned off, the user looses a chance and the time until the bomb explodes decreases. Eventually, the user turns off the computer enough times that there are no more chances left, the bomb explodes, and some sort of punishment happens. These punishments can range from having to downgrade your operating system, to having your computer destroyed, and in extreme cases, even to death. I once made a whole channel for Barney Errors, where I made about twenty of them before quitting. After that, I eventually quit GoAnimate all together, but I still made Crap OS X, an OS video made with Powerpoint. I also made an interactive OS parody called Windows Poop Editon, again with Powerpoint. Before that, I also made one called "Atch OS" using my old Windows XP netbook. I just checked to see if my old Weebly website still exists, since there's an Atch OS download on there and I wanted to see if it dissapeared from existence or not. Appearantly it does! I'm getting so much nostalgia from this website. It's like a window into 2016, when I had fun making these videos on a regular basis. I'm way past my 10,000 character goal now. I'm kinda glad I set this goal, but again, I'm not gonna force myself to do it everyday. I think I'm gonna stop writing for today. Bye! Hey, I'm back. Yes, that hello wasn't original either, since I already said it once. Specifically, after my sister seized the LTE and started spamming. You remember that, right? I hope you read through this whole thing instead of just picking a random part (which just happened to be this part) and reading only a tiny bit. Nah, I'm just kidding. Read this text however you want to, it doesn't matter if you read this entire text from start to finish or not. I mean, I did put some cringy stuff in here, as I keep mentioning. But it's on the Internet, and since recently, on my homepage, so I know people are gonna read it. Really the only reason I'm making this is because I have a weird obsession for writing giant walls of text. Guess what? I just added translations of this LTE into various conlangs on my website! But they're all very incomplete, and I probably won't finish them ever... I mean, if I'm gonna finish any of them, 'twill probably be the Viesa translation since it's the easiest to do. Hey, 'twill's back! I remember the very beginnings of this LTE, when I first mentioned 'twill. That was 40,000 characters ago. Appearantly I'm measuring time with characters now. Hey, what's the average amount of text I write per day in this LTE? The four month gap probably significantly drops that amount. Let's see! The trouble is finding out when I started writing this LTE, because I don't know the exact date. I'm just gonna estimate that it was March 12, based on the amount of times I said goodnight before I said "Happy Pi Day". It's not a very accurate measurement, though, because sometimes I stop writing for the day without saying goodnight. But anyways, from March 12 to today, July 16, is 127 days. As of that previous sentence, there are 42,549 characters in this LTE. 42,549 characters divided by 127 days equals about 335 characters per day. That's not very much at all. To get an idea of how short that is, the first 335 characters of this LTE consist of about 64 words and 8 sentences. As I predicted, the four months of no activity had a big impact on this number. But what if we ignore the 4 month gap, which was from March 15 to July 9, I've only been working on this LTE for ten days. 42,549 characters divided by 10 days is about 4254 characters. That's much better. It might be that big because of the 12,600 characters I wrote yesterday. I said I wouldn't do it every day, but honestly, I'm feeling like doing a goal again today. I think I might even go a bit higher than yesterday. Let's do 15,000 characters! I have zero life outside of this LTE, anyways, so I think I'll make it. As long as I keep typing about random stuff for the entire day, I'll probably get past 15,000 easily. I think I'm insane. Literally all I do anymore is write this LTE. My mom is almost certainly concered for me, because I was in my room pretty much all of yesterday and my sister told her about how I'm trying to write the longest text ever. But enough about my descent into insanity for now. Let's get this LTE to over 55,000 characters today! This is probably the most meta LTE in existence. Like I've said, I talk about the LTE itself as much, if not more than anything else. By the way, if I were to write as much as I did yesterday every day, I would reach my goal in just 15 days. Now I'm tempted to do that, even though I said I wouldn't set a goal like that every day. I think I might end up doing it subconciously. I kinda wanna convince some other people I know online to start their own LTE. Wouldn't it be fun if we all had our own LTEs? They would probably all die within a day, but at least I wouldn't be the only one writing an LTE in 2019... The most recently updated LTE I've seen is the RainbowFluffySheep LTE, which I believe was last updated in late 2018. That wasn't really that long ago, but still, I don't think it's being updated anymore. Now let's do an LTE Timeline! The original FlamingChickens LTE was probably started sometime in 2004, and Hermnerps was started the same year. The FlamingChickens LTE stopped in 2005, while the Hermnerps LTE actually lived on until 2009, although edits after the end of 2004 were rather sparce. The Kenneth Iman LTE was started in 2013 and was last updated in 2015. The RainbowFluffySheep LTE both started and was last updated in March 2018. And of course, the WhileTrue LTE was started in March 2019 and is still being updated today. Wow, 15 years of LTEs! I think my LTE is the only one still being updated. It would be nice if someone else was writing their own LTE along with me. But 'twill be hard to convince other people to waste their lives writing a useless wall of text. You never know, maybe an LTE that stopped being edited years ago will come back from the dead. That seems kind of unlikely though. Very strange fact incoming. A certain word has not been used since the very beginning of this text. Ready to learn what it is? I shouldn't tell you, actually. Of course, that would ruin it. Unless you want me to ruin a really cool fact. Surely you wouldn't want that to happen. Okay, I'll just tell you, because I'm probably gonna end up using it again someday or another. The word is "various". If you search for "various" in this LTE, you'll only find it at the very beginning as well as here. And I was gonna keep this a secret, but just now I did this thing where if you take the first letter of each sentence, it spells out "VARIOUS". Kinda clever... I guess? Anyways, for those who are insane enough to be reading this entire thing from the start Wow, you have quite the dedication. My LTE isn't even the longest yet, but perhaps in the future, when it is the longest, people will be challenging themselves to read the entire thing. And maybe you're one of them! Perhaps you're reading this long after I've passed my goal, in which case you still have quite a bit to go. So I wish you luck on your Longest Text Ever reading adventure! I've been talking about LTEs all day. For the past 6,000 characters, in fact. I need to find something different to talk about. But first, I just had an idea pertaining LTEs. I should compare this LTE to the longest joke in the world! The longest joke in the world is 56,554 characters long, which is about how long I'm trying to get this LTE by the end of today. So if I reach my goal today, this text will be longer than the longest joke in the world! That's pretty cool. I would also be a quarter of the way to my goal. But let's get back to finding something different to talk about. I can't think of anything. My sister is singing a song about wanting Subway. I will never understand her. What goes through her brain that makes her decide "Yeah, I think it would be a good idea to sing about how I really want Subway"? I don't get how her brain works. She also likes eating paper. I asked her and appearantly she was perfectly okay with me writing that in here. She probably thinks nobody's ever gonna read this. But she's gonna be wrong! Eventually. Now she's asking me to write about how she likes yogurt. "Because I didn't used to", she says. She's eating mango yogurt, and she has water in a Gatorade bottle. Now I'm asking her what else I should put in this text. She says I should write about how there's wild sage where we live. Now she's having hot chocolate. She didn't ask me to write that, but I told her I was going to write it and she said okay. My sister might start her own Longest Text Ever, again. She says it will have only one word repeated throughout the entire text. But I told her that it defeats the purpose of an LTE. In the original FlamingChickens LTE, one of the very first things that is written is "I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste". Okay, I just made a webpage for her LTE (it's gonna be an actual LTE this time). Stay tuned for "The Best Longest Text Ever", as she calls it. I think it should have just been called "KKs Longest Text Ever" or something, but whatever. She types really slow, but I hope her LTE will be successful nonetheless. Warning: if you do go and read her LTE, she spoils Spiderman: Far From Home at the very beginning, so be careful about that. In fact, she's basically typing the entire plot of the movie. Well, that's one way to increase your LTE's length, I guess. My sister is listening to her terrible songs instead of writing her LTE. Well, she has her LTE page open, but she's not writing anything and is singing instead. Actually, she's writing stuff now, so ignore everything I said previously. She's still writing the entire plot. Her LTE is now 2,000 characters, which isn't very long, but she's only been working on it for an hour. Plus she's a slow typer. She types everything with one hand. It might take a while for her LTE to get to this level. But assuming she keeps writing it and doesn't forget about it after today, it'll get pretty long eventually. I still need to write 7,000 characters today. My sister is watching a cringy video made by our old elementary school. They became a French immersion school after I left. She found one of the videos I was in... oh god, I can't stand to look at that video. It hurts me to think about those days. My sister's LTE webpage has text now! Maybe I should create a page linking to all the LTEs I know about. I think I'll do that. Boom, it is done. I think I'm gonna also put a link to it on this page. There, that's done as well. Guys, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it to 15,000. I still have 5,000 characters to go (I was completely off earlier, I don't have 7,000 left to go), and there's not much left of the day. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to make a goal for the day in the first place. After all, LTE writing is supposed to be fun! Sort of. There's zero need to make unneccesary deadlines. I think it just reduces the fun, as well as the part of my life that isn't just writing huge walls of text. From here on out, I declare character-per-day goals abolished. I will no longer make attempts to write a certain amount in a single day. I should have listened to my past self, who said not to do goals every day. But I didn't, and now I regret it. But anyways, here's a fun fact about this LTE: excluding my upcoming usage, the pronoun "he" is only used twice in this LTE, and they both refer to my dad. On the other hand, the pronoun "she" is used forty times! Almost all of these refer to my sister. Only one refers to my mom. I guess I just really like talking about the weird stuff my sister does. But not as much as being meta and talking about my own LTE. Here's another fun fact: "LTE" is the fourteenth most common word in this text! That's insane. It's more common than words you'd expect to be common, like "you", "I'm", "for", "be", "about", "was", and so on. I really need to talk about other things once in a while. But since I have zero creativity, I always resort to talking about the same topics. From what I've seen, most other LTEs are pretty diverse, but mine isn't at all. Honestly, this is likely the most boring LTE to read. But my absolute lack of creativity means it's probably gonna stay that way for a long time. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Maybe I'll be more creative by tomorrow. Probably not. Anyways, goodnight. Hey, I'm back, and I don't feel any more creative. But I did have a dream last night, so I'm gonna talk about that. Last night, I dreamt that I was in one of our old houses, and I saw that someone made a video roasting Viesa. They talked about how you shouldn't say "dog" in Viesa, because appearantly "deeg" is bad or something? I don't know. Then they said the rule where W becomes V is weird, but I don't remember the reason they said it. I didn't really care about how they roasted my language. Then I watched a Minecraft video for whatever reason, and then the dream ended. How do other LTE writers have so many topics to talk about? All I ever talk about is either LTEs themselves, or the fact that all I ever talk about is LTEs. There's no diversity. I very rarely talk about anything else. And when I do, it's usually about languages and lasts only a few sentences. There, I deleted it. Oh, you don't have any context. Basically I wrote a bunch of depressing stuff, then I decided to delete it all. I knew I was going to regret it later, in the same way I regret writing all that stuff about furries. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being a furry, it's just that it personally makes me uncomfortable looking back on it. I'm not even into that stuff as much anymore. I don't watch furry YouTube, and I don't talk about how much I want a fursuit/go to a convention. That's a part of me that's slowly disappearing. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about that, because I literally just said how I regret talking about it in this text. You know, I've been feeling kind of down about this LTE lately, because as I just mentioned, all I ever talk about is this LTE itself, there's no diversity, blah blah blah. It's especially been like that ever since the four month gap. In fact, I barely talked about LTEs before that gap. It's like I lost all my creativity after four months. You know what? I'm officially gonna say this: If, for some reason, you are reading this before you decide you want to start reading this entire text, READ EVERYTHING FROM "WOW, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE" TO HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKELY DIE OF BOREDOM DUE TO THE MONOTONOUS TOPICS! There, now I'm gonna try and forget that half this LTE is the same exact boring topic. I will also try to avoid writing about the same exact boring topic for the rest of this text. Let's celebrate the End of Monotonous Topics (EMT) by talking about how we (my sister and I) had lunch and did various other things with our grandpa! So grandpa asked if we wanted to have lunch and spend an afternoon with him, and we said yes. Then he picked us up, and we went to a nearby town where we had lunch, went to a museum which was a house built in 1909 as well as the town's first hospital, and got ice cream from what is appearently one of the best ice cream places in the country, according to grandpa. So today was a fun day. I'm gonna go now. Bye! Hey, I'm back. That's the fifth time I've said that. I need to come up with more original... nah, whatever. Anyways, I had a dream last night which was basically a whole movie I don't remember most of. All I remember is playing a keyboard at the store for some reason, and that the dream ended with a random car horn. Oh, and there was Minecraft involved in the beginning, which I'm pretty sure is becoming a recurring theme in my dreams. I don't know why that happened, because I rarely play Minecraft anymore. Do any of y'all remember the DVD screensaver meme? That was one of my favorite memes. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, many DVD players had this screensaver where it was a DVD logo bouncing around the screen. The big moment that everyone anticipates is when the logo hits the corner of the screen perfectly, because, well, it's just so SATISFYING! I used to watch a livestream that was literally just this screensaver running endlessly. And when it hit the corner, it was a huge celebration for both me and everyone else watching. I got so excited when the logo hit the corner. My computer's screensaver is even still a DVD screensaver. But nowadays when I see it hit the corner, I don't have as much enthusiasm as I used to. I've just seen it too many times for it to be exciting anymore. Plus, the meme isn't even a thing anymore. I doubt that livestream is even still running. But you never know, so I'm gonna check to see if it's still going. Oh wow, it is! That was the last thing I expected to see in July 2019. But only four people are watching it, which makes sense. The title now says "DVD Logo Screensaver For 1 Year", even though it hasn't quite been going on for a year. But when it hits that point, perhaps that's when it will finally end? It should have ended months ago, if you ask me. Yup, I was right. There's a countdown on the livestream to when it ends, and it says 181 days, 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 3 seconds. Wow, the corner hit and wall hit numbers are much bigger now. The most corner hits I'd seen is around 1400 or so, but now it's at 4776! The wall hits used to be in the hundred-thousands, now it's at over two and a half million! Hello, I have returned. There, I came up with something original to say! Anyways, I just combined every single LTE I know of (including this one) and put it onto one single page on a Wikia wiki called "No Rules Wiki". That wiki exactly as you would expect from the title. I found it a while ago, and I thought it was about time I made a contribution, even if pasting over half a million characters into a single article is breaking some rule... I've been wanting to make Viesa an actual conlang for so long now. I think it's long overdue at this point. Hey, I'm back again. These sections are getting shorter and shorter each day. But oh well. I just discovered how much I like the word "number". I don't know why, but it's just so fun to say! I think I've liked that word ever since I was a toddler learning my numbers! I remember thinking it was a fun word even back then. At that time I had two little electronic toys: one was orange and for numbers, and one was purple and for letters. I'm pretty sure those were the colors. I also vaguely remember having a fan that lit up and displayed custom messages. I haven't seen anything like that since then. All I hear right now is Baby Shark being blasted upstairs. You know that song, right? I don't know who doesn't know it at this point. I can't think of a single person I've seen that doesn't know what that song is. Dang, ever since the EMT I haven't been writing as much in this text. Looks like LTEs were all I could talk about. Oh well. How many times have I said "oh well"? Probably a lot. About eight times, in fact. I'm back again. I went a full day without writing anything into this LTE yesterday! There were a lot of things happening that day, so I didn't feel like writing. I could've written at least a little bit, but I didn't. Time for me to use this LTE as my dream journal yet again! I had a dream where my domain was "exin" (or something like that) instead of "whiletrue", so that was a thing. I also had a dream where there was this game that I thought existed in the real world, but it didn't. Dreams do that sometimes. I don't remember much about the game, but it involved the Simpsons, I guess? Also, I was in a weird store where they had an... iCarly laptop? And a bunch of gift cards. That's all I remember. For now, at least. My sister does not like synthwave. She says "it's repetitive", "the sounds they use don't sound like music", and she doesn't like how it doesn't have lyrics. First of all, she's hypocritical because she always listens to the same songs on repeat. And why does it matter that it doesn't have words? Why does she think every single piece of music in existence has to have words? YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR OPINIONS THERE! (That was a reference to a cringy GoAnimator that no one reading this will get, unless you came to this website from my YouTube channel which you subscribed to during my OS video days). Anyways, synthwave is objectively the best genre of music. I remember hearing HOME - Resonance for the first time in a Discord voice chat, and it was magical. I wish I could listen to that song for the first time again. That was how I got into synthwave. You know what my favorite color combination is? Yellow text on a magenta background. Oh, and don't forget the Comic Sans. That is just pure beauty right there. In fact, it's used in the first frame (well, close enough) of "history of the entire world, i guess", which makes me love that video even more. We're at 60,000 characters, 1,000 sentences, and 12,000 words! Weird how all those counts hit such round numbers in one day, huh? I need to stick to the EMT, so I should stop talking about that. My sister is attempting to build a Lego city. Her goal is to have three buildings, since she doesn't have THAT much Lego. Have you noticed how quickly I've been switching topics in this text? That's because I can't talk about anything for a long time. That is, unless that thing is languages or LTEs. I am currently trying to revive a language my sister and I started making a while back. Sometimes my sister has days when she doesn't hate languages for some reason, then she ends up starting one. But of course, she regained her hate and abandoned it. Now I'm the only one working on the language. By the way, the language is called Lazay, which was the successor to Zula, the first language we made together which is now deleted. We started writing the language on paper, but then I started a Google Doc. I'm sure the papers are still here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find them. I’m back again. I haven’t been ending these sections with goodbyes recently. But whatever. We’re on our way to IKEA to get a dresser for my room. We’re listening to Queens of the Stone Age right now, and I’m just waiting for “Fortress” to come on. I sing that song in Viesa, but I make up half of the lyrics. It goes: Ванавар јак фиртрас кува, ма башег ђара, ја сок. Try and translate that! The song is playing now. I like this song. We’re back from IKEA now. Actually, we’ve been home for hours now, and we’ve already built the dresser. My computer crashed (but don’t worry, I started writing this in Google Docs on my phone), and now Google Chrome won’t open. So I have to use Microsoft Edge for now. I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back. My sister is brushing my back with a hairbrush, and I don't know why. I asked her what I should write about (because I have zero creativity), and she said I should write about that. I'm gonna type whatever comes to my head now. Hi, I'm a boring human being who has zero creativity whatsoever and still happens to be writing an LTE. Isn't that insane? How could this be? Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know. It is a strange mystery that has yet to be solved. Hmm, I wonder if I should go and eat pancakes now? I'm so random right now. In fact, there's an entire subreddit for that: r/iamsorandom. You should check it out! I mean, you don't really have to, but it would be nice if you did. I use Reddit a lot, but I only use it for language-related stuff. Well, I make posts in language-related subreddits, but the non-language subs that I look at are ones that I don't post anything to, because I know nothing about literally anything that isn't languages. And heck, I don't even know much about languages! I only make English codes and call them "conlangs". Sort of. I usually don't actually call them conlangs, but I use them for such purposes. I speak Viesa as if it were a real language, but it simply is not. Why did I make Viesa in the first place? Well, you see, it all started out as a joke for April Fools' Day. I called it "the new universal language", despite it literally being a cipher of English. What!? A cipher of English being a universal language? How silly! What a funny joke, right? Maybe? Somewhat? Anyways, I then made a SECOND VERSION! DUN DUN DUN! This second version had CLICKY SOUNDS which, spoiler alert, dissapear in the next version of Viesa. Sad, right? RIP CLICKS 2018-2018 NEVER FORGET! I also added WACKY GRAMMAR STUFF and PRONOUNS! WOAH! How crazy! Then I made the next version: VERSION 3.0! This version added CYRILLIC! (you know, that alphabet the Russians use, as well as the Serbs, whose version of the Cyrillic alphabet I stole for Viesa. Hehehe!) And that's the entire history of Viesa, explained in a Zany way! Do you like how I capitalized "Zany" there? Aren't capital letters so cool? They let you YELL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! They add EXCITEMENT! And most of all, they let you capitalize words like This. lowercase letters are also cool. without them, we'd all be yelling and screaming all the time. That would be pretty tiring, wouldn't it? I see two water bottles. One is empty, while the other still has some water in it. The empty one is blue, and the one with the water is pink. I should also mention that the blue one is mine, while the pink one is my sister's. I got that water bottle because I lost my other one at school. But GUESS WHAT? I FOUND IT IN THE LOST AND FOUND! Wow! Now I had two water bottles. How Wacky and Crazy and Zany and Bizzare and all those adjectives that perfectly describe this epic moment! Wow, writing your mind is a great way to increase your LTEs length! Before I was actually THINKING about what I was writing. But now I barely do, and it's greatly improving my LTE! Except the overuse of capital letters might throw the reader off guard a little because of how sparingly I've used them in the past, but oh well. I could fix it, but I don't feel like it. I want to continue writing, but I need to sleep now. Goodnight! Hi, I'm back again. My computer crashed AGAIN, and I was ignorant enough to not save my work, so that means I have to start this part of the text all over again. That's quite unfortunate. But did I mention that my Google Chrome is working again? That's the good news. It's good news because Google Chrome has all my logins, websites, and stuff like that. Hopefully you know what I mean when I say that. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't even know what I mean right now! I'm probably insane right now. Especially since I'm writing this right now, as I have been for about 18 days minus the four month gap... I think. I hope I did that right. As I've said before, I'm bad at math. My sister just read the entirety of what I've written today for some reason. My sister just sang "I want your computer to crash again because I'm evil". She IS evil if she wants my computer to crash. At least I'll have this section saved. In fact, right now I'm pressing Ctrl+S after every sentence! Including this one. And this one. Also this one. I think you get the point now. My sister keeps typing into this LTE without my consent, and I keep having to delete it all. It's pretty annoying. Hey, flashback to when I said that way at the beginning of this text! You know, the part where I talk about the Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. You know what else is said a hundred something times (in this LTE)? The letter J. So far it's been used 115 times in this LTE. That's your Interesting LTE Fact of the Day! Well, not really "daily", but whatever. Here's a story: Once upon a time, people got tired of starting off their stories with "Once upon a time", so they stopped doing that. But one person decided not to stop using "Once upon a time", and used it at the beginning of this story. And that person is ME! The end. Wasn't that a lovely story? You're probably not thinking that. Again, I'm not creative in any way whatsoever. That's why I don't usually write stories and instead write giant walls of text full of meaningless information, like the one and only WhileTrue's Longest Text Ever that you're reading right now. Hopefully nobody died of boredom from reading between "Wow, it has been a while" and the EMT. That's the most boring part of the LTE! 90% of it is just me talking about LTEs themselves. How uninteresting is that? Very uninteresting. Penguins. What are they? I don't know. What am I even writing right now? I haven't a clue. Isn't it weird that I said "haven't a clue" like that? Normally "haven't" isn't used if it's alone as a verb, as in "I haven't my keys". Who says that? Nobody, that's who. And yet "I haven't a clue" is an actual thing I've heard people say. Anyways, AFRICA! That was random, but let's discuss it anyway. Africa is a well-known song by Toto. It's a good song. I can kinda sorta play it on piano? Maybe? I don't know. Another song I can play on the piano is All Star by Smash Mouth. You know, the Shrek song? Anyways, I once made a video called "All Star but it's played on a Sesame Street piano" and it got almost a million views. It's been stuck at 900,000 for what seems like forever now. I'm gonna check to see if it's at a million now. I doubt it, though. Nope, still at 926,000 views. And I doubt it's gonna get any more, to be honest. It had a good run though. My sister is chugging applesauce. She thinks she's epic because of it. I don't know anymore. I seem to keep saying that after everything I type at this point. It's strange. Hello, I have returned after yet another long absence. When was the last time I added to this? I think it was somewhere in July. So yeah, it’s been three months, as it is now October 17, 2019. The end of the decade is approaching fast. I’m a bit excited, because I’ll have significant memories from more than just one decade! My earliest significant memories started in Kindergarden, which was in 2010. This means that I only really remember one decade. But now that an entirely new decade is coming up, I’ll be able to remember another! Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be excited over this, since the boundaries between years is arbitrary, and a decade is 10 years only because we count in base 10, so if we counted in base 12 or something, a decade would be 12 years long. That was kind of a run-on sentence, but I don’t really feel like making this text perfect, anyway. Have you heard of the Library of Babel? libraryofbabel.info is a website containing every possible combination of the lowercase letters a-z, space, comma, and period. The library is divided into hexagonal chambers. Each hex contains four walls. Each wall contains three shelves. Each shelf contains 32 volumes. Each volume contains 410 pages of 3200 characters each. Everything you could ever say or write is on this website. Even this LTE! See for yourself: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte. Okay, that’s only the first bit of it, but every other bit of this LTE is somewhere in the library! In fact, here’s the next bit: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte:1. It’s split up into about 20 different pages. I don’t feel like putting links to all of them here. It also removes punctuation that the library doesn’t use, like the exclamation point, question mark, colon, and so on. But it’s pretty mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me. If you try and browse the library yourself though, you probably won’t find much more than total gibberish. It’s crazy to think that everything we could ever possibly say or write is massively outweighed by meaningless strings of letters and punctuation.

#Lol i tried also im not a furry ignore the furry part #nor am i young

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imagines-r-s · 4 years

Text

*go ahead and cry little girl*

a/n: send requests for more rebecca grace if you want, i definitely want to write more about her

this was supposed to be a blurb but uh, here we are lol @drewsephsmiles

warnings: child negligence

(not my gif)

Rebecca Grace always held hope that one day Michelle would change. Maybe just this one time she would pull through? Maybe she would surprise her for once? Maybe she would actually act like a mother?

For the first year after the divorce, Michelle actually put in an effort, calling every other day, picking her up from the airport, and trying to co-parent well with Andrew. Even going as far as taking Rebecca Grace to Disney World one year for her 12th birthday.

By the time Rebecca Grace was 13, Michelle didn’t try as hard. She didn’t call as much, it took her hours to reply to her daughter, Andrew would have to call her and remind her about the days she had Rebecca Grace.

By the time Rebecca Grace was 14, she was tired. Tired of the fact that she was the only one putting forth an effort, when her mom should be doing just as much, if not more. So, when she went to Andrew asking if he was ok with her asking if Michelle would sign off rights. He was shocked to say the least, but he said it was up to her. Except for when she did, Michelle told her that no mother gives up on her daughter, even though that’s what had been happening.

By the time that Rebecca Grace was 15, Andrew had decided that she should try therapy to talk out all of her issues, but it only resulted with her sitting on a couch staring at the ceiling for an hour. Andrew tried everything else, but he knew the best he could do was just be there for his daughter. She eventually turned to her own coping skills, which concerned Andrew very much, but she was honest about what she was doing and he knew he could only try to direct her in the right direction.

By the time Rebecca Grace was 16, her and Rafe had started partying every weekend. Much to her dismay, he only let her go if she kept her grades up, knowing that she had been blowing everything off for the longest time, and it made her dad happy, so she went with it. JJ Maybank and her also got closer during that year. Her grades had been doing a lot better since everything, up until her mom called her one day saying she was visiting the Outer Banks soon.

‘Soon’ came shortly after Rebecca Grace’s 17 birthday, with no notice, she was hanging at her house with Sarah, Rafe, Wheezie, and Topper. So, when the doorbell rang, she assumed that it was just the food that they had ordered.

“Mom? Wha-What the hell are you doing here?”

“Wow, Becca, you’ve grown up so much,” Michelle said, avoiding her daughter’s question. “I go by Rebecca Grace now. And people change a lot when you haven’t seen them in years.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Rebecca Grace,” she said in a mocking tone, causing the girl in front of her’s jaw to clench, “anyways, I just wanted to visit and introduce you to some people.”

Rebecca Grace gave a confused look, looking back at her friends behind her,”uh, can we take this outside?”

“I’m fine right here, Becca. Anyways, this is my fiance, Maxwell Johnson, and our daughter, Bianca.” As soon as the words daughter left her mouth, Rebecca Grace had completely zoned out, looking at the younger girl in front of her that looked more like her mother than she does. She was frozen, unable to say anything.

“Uh, um. I’m sorry, what?”

“This is my daughter, Bianca,” Michelle said, catching the attention of almost everyone in the room, besides Wheezie.

“Michelle, you need to leave. Now is not a good time. Or anytime from now. So, enjoy your trip, now leave,” Rebecca Grace hadn’t seen her dad walk in front of her, she had been too focused on the information that she had just heard. Her mom had another daughter?

She heard the calls of all her friends and her dad saying things to her, but she was stunned, “Hey, Bex. I need you to look at me. Are you with me?” She could only nod her head. Thoughts kept running through her head and all she wanted to do was dig a hole and stay there for a while. She couldn’t form a singular sentence in her head, as everything was rushed.

She finally looked up from the ground, seeing Sarah and Rafe with her dad, while the Topper was off to the side where she couldn’t see. She quickly turned on her heel, walking at a normal pace up to the stairs, towards her bedroom. She simply locked her door, knowing everyone would try to come in. Her mind took over as she rushed to the part of her closet that had all of her things from her mom, pictures with her mom, and anything associated with her mom and destroyed everything.

Her eyes had become glossy, but no tears were shed. She was ready to throw something else across the room when a pair of arms quickly wrapped around her, her Dad and Rafe had undone the lock when they heard all the crashing noises, and her dad was trying to stop her from breaking anything else. “Bex, shh,” Andrew cooed towards his daughter, “hey, it’ll be okay. She’s gone. Okay?”

“How come she doesn’t want me? What did I do? If she can go and have another daughter it just shows that- that I’m the problem here.”

“No, baby, no, you are not the problem. She just doesn’t know how to fix things with you, so she had to try again. It’s nothing wrong with you. You deserve so much better than that.”

Rebecca Grace just stood still for a moment, “I’m leaving, I need to leave. I’ll be back before tomorrow morning.” Before Andrew or anyone could stop her she was already out the door. They all knew she needed alone time, but they sent Rafe after her to make sure she didn’t do anything stupid.

Rebecca Grace was driving with no destination, she just needed to go away from everyone, turning off her location, ignoring calls, and ignoring texts from anyone and everyone.

Before she realized, she was on the Cut, hoping to find her best friend. Parking her car at the chateau, she saw JJ on the steps, “Ayyy, what’s up, Becky G?” upon closer examination, he realized something was wrong. “Rebecca Grace, what’s wrong?”

“My mom came to visit, turns out she has a 4 year old daughter named Bianca,” was all she said before sitting next to JJ. “Are you okay? Sorry, dumb question, do you want weed or do you need to talk?”

“You know my answer, Maybank,” Rafe knew where she was and he knew that as much as he hated to admit it, JJ was going to watch her tonight. Before she realized it she was crossed, having drank a lot of beer and smoked way much more than she usually did.

JJ made sure she didn’t do anything too stupid, John B. was there to, so he also made sure JJ didn’t get too high to where he couldn’t take care of her, if necessary. “Oh, shiii, I told my dad I’d be home, I gotta go,” all her words were slurring together as you tried to get up from the couch, “No, there’s no way you’re driving, just stay here and I’ll call and let them know you’re okay,” by the time JJ looked back, she had already fallen asleep.

JJ took the time to call her dad and make sure he knew that she was okay and where she was. The next morning, when the girl woke up with a killer hangover, JJ offered her a pair of clothes and some pain meds. JJ decided that he should drive her car home and he would have John B follow with the van, so that he didn’t have to walk home.

When Rebecca Grace got home, she could tell that everyone in the house was waiting her arrival to make sure she got home, “Look, I’m really-” before she could finish, her dad had already hugged her, “there’s no need to apologize, I understand.”

By the time Rebecca Grace was 18, she was just a month away from graduation. She was able to bring at most 10 people - since the auditorium at the kook academy was so big, as she was writing down who she wanted to invite the idea to invite her mom popped in her head. She had been debating it for a few days, finally deciding on Rafe, Sarah, Grandma C, Ward, her dad, and her mom. She had sent in the order for the tickets before calling her mom.

“Hey, mom. Um, I just wanted to know that my graduation ceremony is coming up in exactly a month and I’d love it if you could come?”

“Aw, honey, I’d love to,” Rebecca Grace smiled, it quickly dropped at her mother’s next words, “but, Bianca has her kindergarten graduation and a dance recital, so unfortunately I won’t be able to make it.”

“Oh, no, I get it, well have fun at that, I guess,” she quickly hung up.

“Hey, Bex, I brought your favorite, Mango Passion-fruit Bubble Tea with two snicker-doodle cookies,” Rafe said, knocking on your already open door, “we have a busy day ahead of us, you have to get a dress for your graduation and your graduation party.”

“I’m not going to either,” she stated. “Bruh, what the fuck do you mean you’re not going? You only have one graduation,” he was confused by the girl in front of him.

“I’m. not. going. Now, thank you for the drink. If you want to stay here you can, but don’t bring it up anymore.”

Rafe decided to stay with her, the two of them watched ‘Dirty Dancing’ again, as it was her favorite movie. Rebecca Grace had fallen asleep, so Rafe decided to see what brought up her decision. He knew better than to snoop, but he knew that something was up to cause her to decline going to graduation.

That’s when he saw the outgoing call to ‘Mom’ and he quickly put two and two together. Rushing downstairs to find his uncle, “Hey, did Bex mention wanting to invite her mom to her graduation?”

“Uh, yeah, she took a while to decide, but they were due yesterday, so I assume so. Why? What happened?”

“Bex said she’s not going to graduation.”

“The fuck? She’s going. She’s worked too damn hard to throw it all down the drain now.”

“I only know one person who could possibly convince her to go, JJ.” He made his way to his car, driving to the chateau, seeing the blonde boy in front of him, “Hey, JJ. I come here in peace. But I need your help.”

The two boys talked it over, deciding that JJ would talk some sense into his best friend, to at least convince her to go to graduation, not mentioning that he would surprise her by being there.

The day of graduation finally rolled around, Rebecca Grace wore her emerald green maxi dress that she had bought after her talk with JJ. As she started to walk the stage, “Rebecca Grace Cameron,” she heard the cheers of her family, that weren’t even supposed to be cheering at that moment, but she didn’t care, she was so happy.

When the ceremony was done and she walked over to her family, quickly hugging her Grandma C, who she hadn’t seen in a year or so, moving to Sarah, to Ward, to Rafe, who was proud she had made it this far, to her dad who took the longest to hug her, also mentioning how proud he was of her. Then, when she finally let go she heard someone yell, “aye, Becky G, you graduated,” she could have given herself whiplash by how fast she turned around to see JJ standing there with a bouquet. “Thank you for coming, J.”

“Anything for you, Becky G.”

The end of summer was coming closer, she knew this goodbye would be hard for her. Rafe would still be in college, Sarah, JJ, Topper and Kelce would still be in high school. She’d be saying bye to everyone she cared about, but it would be worth it to live her dreams of traveling the world.

Everyone you were close to had come to your graduation party, bringing a gift that would be useful on your trip. JJ giving you the novelty gift of a fake mustache, to go with the striped shirt, face, paint, barette, and red suspenders you had gotten from everyone collectively. “I’m not going to become a mime, I promise.”

“Don’t miss me too much, Becky G.”

“Bye, Bex, we love you.”

“Bye, love, stay safe and stay in contact.”

“Bex,” Sarah whispered to you,” if you meet a hot girl and/or guy, I better be the first one to know.”

As she boarded her flight, she was looking forward to the new chapter of her life, far from home.

#Outer Banks #obx #outer banks imagine #outerbanks #jj maybank #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #outerbanks oc #outer banks oc

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v-le · 5 years

Text

Ktravels / Klife: After a year in korea Final Thoughts

Foreword: Surprise, surprise, procrastination got the best of me for quite some time. But im back. And for the last time. At least for the last time regarding my year-long study abroad experience in Korea. Here lies the last bits and pieces of my heart that left behind such a wondrous lifestyle in such a complex country.

I guess this will be the last of my “Korean” writings for a while. I think I kept holding off on this because I didn’t want to solidify the fact that my journey abroad is officially over. I guess even being home and everything still doesn’t make me accept reality. All I can keep thinking these days is that exactly a year ago, I was sitting around every day, waiting for my summer to end & for me to hurry up and end up in Korea & I kept asking myself over and over and over and OVER, ceaselessly: “I wonder how my life will change once I live there. I wonder what my life would be like over there”.

And what’s crazy, is that even though I kept desperately trying to grasp that fact so intensely a year prior to today, I still don’t have the answer as I sit here in this seat. I still don’t think I can properly express what my 10 month-ish experience was like. I feel just as contemplative as I did a year ago.

I think ive been holding off writing this mostly because I don’t even know what to say. Why don’t I have anything to say? Hmm.. or more like, I have so much to say that I don’t even want to begin. Because once I do, and then once I wrap it all up, everything will truly be all over. It’ll solidify the fact that my year abroad is all done for, never to come back to me ever again.

I think my final post of my study abroad IG account, the one I posted every single day for, enclosed my immediate, final thoughts and feelings really well. I mean, I literally wrote that on the plane flying home, sooooo…

Maybe I should start with addressing my goals I set for myself before I left, and how those goals panned out upon my return. Very vaguely, one of my main pursuits was to “become fluent in Korean”. Even to this day, im not exactly sure what that constitutes and by my standards, I don’t really know to what extent I wanted to improve based on that statement…. But, I guess I just really really really wanted to practice communicating more and essentially feel comfortable speaking, reading, writing, and listening in this completely foreign language. And I mean even prior to arriving, I had already known how to read Hangul for like 8 years. So in terms of reading, I just got to practice a looottt and just brush up on my speed & precision, I guess. Listening has also never been too much of a struggle: years of pure absorption and drowning myself in Korean in every form possible has taken me this far, to be quite honest. It was never anything intentional, I just held onto more and more words as the years went by. And quite frankly, I’m pretty damn proud of myself for that. I guess my point is that I unknowingly wanted to focus on improving my writing and speaking. Which sounds a bit futile, because what was the ultimate purpose in expanding on these skills? When I cannot even use them outside of Korea? Hm… I didn’t think that far. I just knew I wanted to improve. Or no, I don’t even think I had any real basis before arriving anyway. I just wanted to get exposed to that side of the language and make some sort of progress. Because I enjoy it that much.

I didn’t even know how to write the strokes of Hangul characters properly. No one had ever taught me. For years, for the small words or phrases I might’ve scribbled down for fun or doodled my notebooks with, I just wrote what I knew, like pictures. I still, to this day, don’t know the proper strokes lol. It kinda makes me feel noob, but o well, ive made it this far nonetheless. In terms of speaking, of course, I had absolutely no background. There had never been a chance to practice this skill… in fact, if there were one, if I did speak Korean at some point before going to Korea, I feel like that would’ve been really weird anyway… I wasn’t learning it formally in a classroom or anything, so if I were to try…. To god-knows-who…… I dunno, that doesn’t seem right to me. There was just never a proper place and time for me to use any sort of spoken Korean, and that made sense. Because I had such a wide range of “skills” under my belt when it came to this language prior to arriving, none of it was… “official”? None of it was ever proper…..? I am not really sure which word fits best, but the fact that I had known everything I knew at that time from pure Korean media absorption, it bothered me a lot actually.

I wanted to learn formally. I wanted to learn properly. So, I didn’t hesitate to take the intensive Korean language course at Yonsei, one that was 4-6pm every day, Monday-Friday, for the entire semester. What I did hesitate with though, very greatly, and a little regretfully, was the level in which I started learning formal Korean. A part of me is regretful, but I think I know in my heart it was the better decision. Speaking Korean with the teacher on the day of the placement test was probably my first time ever really speaking full sentences aloud to someone else & I can sorta recall it with slight embarrassment. Okay not even slight, like a ton lol I was such a nooooobbbb… I still ammmmm….anyway, based on that day’s tests, the teacher deemed me as able to start in level 2. But I rejected him. I told him I wanted to start at level 1. Because ive never learned properly before, I felt the need to start from the beginning. He told me that level 1 would begin with each Hangul character, pronouncing them one by one, etc. He asked if I’d be okay with going over all of that, and I told him it was fine.

My level 1 class ended up being more of a level 1.5 & we went much faster than all the other classes and didn’t even start with the basics that I was originally warned of. But still, quite frankly, level 1 KLI was butts easy and I didn’t even need to study for anything to do well. For that, im pretty proud of myself. I’m not trying to brag, but I’m actually just very glad that my skills I arrived with were at least up to par enough that I could complete 1 without much struggle. What I was most grateful for was that I got out of KLI was a lot of grammar basics. A lot of these structures I recognized and have probably used on my own before, but I didn’t know the rules properly myself, until I finally learned them in KLI. So really, if I didn’t take level 1, I really think I would’ve lost out on that basic foundation needed for learning more advanced things. Granted, I probably could’ve covered a lot of those things in my own time if I searched for the proper resources and had a stronger motivation. But I never did that by myself. So, I sorttttt offfff, “wasted time” in level 1.

The next semester, level 2, was also not too difficult. Some concepts were definitely a bit more challenging and less intuitive, but nothing impossible to understand. Overall, my semester 2 at Yonsei was when my Korean grew to the heights that I had hoped for. If I improved about 10% during semester 1, then I would say I improved 115% in semester 2. I don’t even know what that means myself, but my point is that I had many many manyyy more real life, application opportunities to use Korean. The biggest factor being my participation in Powers, the badminton team at Yonsei, that semester. Aside from the 2729017 other things that Powers influenced that semester, language was a big thing. At some point, many of my teammates considered me the “American that is really good at Korean”, but like, the over-exaggeration is real. Although one dude consistently talked to me in only English for the longest time, once I met beloved 익안언니, that English-only image of me died and I communicated with everyone else the same way they already communicated with each other: in Korean. I know that sounds….like…. idk, not a really big deal. Like wow good for you, you could communicate in a foreign language with these people. But my biggest deal with it was that if it weren’t for me being in Powers, I would not have practiced speaking or expanded my vocabulary or just LEARNED as much as I have. ESPECIALLY meeting 익안언니 was such a blessing. Although she is from Taiwan, she is a grad student studying Korean language and culture which already implies that she is basically fluent in Korean. And me, knowing absolutely no Chinese but at least having half-assed Korean skills, we only ever communicated in Korean from day 1. Since the day we met, the day she came up to me and asked if I wanted to warm-up with her and asked if I was a foreigner or not, and then revealing that shes actually a foreigner, too. That made us automatically click, because we realized we could both speak without feeling wary of sounding dumb or making mistakes in front of a REAL Korean person. Granted, other teammates always heard a lot of our conversations and sometimes joined in, too. The main point was that speaking Korean in that sense, was the best experience I could’ve asked for. Others may think the most ideal would be, y’know, a real Korean person. But, why be picky when the point is that I got to practice.

By the end of semester two, I had a kinda random idea, fueled by a conversation I had with a KLI classmate. She mentioned how she was studying for the TOPIK 2, the intermediate-advanced Korean fluency test for foreigners, and she decided to take it in Korea versus America because she heard it was easier and the 65th one would be held in Korea while she was there anyway. Upon hearing this, I only vaguely knew about this test, I didn’t think it to be that big of deal, yet in my head I knew I was always impressed with foreigners when they would say something like “yeah I placed level 6 (the highest mark) on the topik”. And so, I looked more into the test myself, and I was like hmm maybe I should try it out myself. 익안언니 mentioned that she actually needed to (re)take it too because her score from her last test is expiring soon. So very last minute, we decided to take it together. It costed money, but that was expected. I debated a lot in the beginning whether or not to take TOPIK 1 or 2, aka easy vs hard, but I decided to just fuck it, I just gotta make sure I study for reals and have more faith in my skills lol.

Im glad I made the right decision. I didn’t study as effectively for the test as I would’ve liked, but I did what I could given my circumstances. I was shooting for level 3. I at least wanted a LEVEL out of the test, not a blank score, which is what would be given if you can’t even manage the minimum level 3 out of the TOPIK 2. That test seriously HURT my brain LOL. As you get towards the end of each section, it gets ridiculously hard and there were 2475830 words I did not understand at all and the mere rows of sentences eventually turned into huge walls of text that filled the paper all the way to the edges and o gosh, just imagine how brain frying those sorts of exams can be HAHAHAH.

In the end, I placed level 5. I was 8 points away from level 6. I was honestly very shocked and to this day, I think I just owe my score to me doing a good job at guessing correct answers, not my pure skills LOL. But above all else, I definitely underestimated myself. I really wanted to take the TOPIK to assess my Korean skills once and for all, definitively. But even after receiving my score, I still feel lost on how to accurately describe my skills. Does level 5 even cut it? Do I even have the right to call myself level 5? I got it though, right? Having drowned myself in Korean for 8 years & taken level 1 & 2 KLI, I was able to be lowkey fluent, I guess.

That’s pretty damn cool. Im pretty damn proud of myself. And yeah, idk, that’s that. LOL. Im not trying to brag about myself or anything. All of that was purely my journey with the Korean language, particularly in the context of studying abroad in Korea for a year. And in regards to my goal, I think I did a pretty good job. I can write long chunks of text without too much problem, I can speak a good amount, maybe not 100% flawlessly, but I can hold conversations, I can go weeks with only speaking Korean, and I think that’s pretty awesome progress that I made towards my goal. If anything, I may have surpassed my anticipations. Cool. LOL

Another one of my main goals was to travel outside of Korea. Or not even that, just outside of SEOUL. Because as amazing that city alone is, I also knew that there is sooooo much to explore throughout the rest of the country and even in other nations. For second semester, I went to Tokyo in Japan, Bangkok in Thailand, Taipei and Tainan in Taiwan, and Busan, Jeonju, Jeju-do, and Yeosu in Korea. I was very blessed to travel to 3 other countries and hit a few beautiful areas outside of Seoul in Korea, too. Although it was a tiresome experience, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything else. Balancing school and travels and other commitments was ridiculously tough. Ive repeated this a lot but: all my snaps and ig updates may have looked like fun and games, but the burnout was real. Traveling with friends isn’t all fun and games.

I learned SO MUCH through this experience: planning logistics thoroughly, dealing with money & currency exchanges strategically, balancing school work, moving things around as necessary, utilizing transportation in various different settings in an effective and efficient manner, familiarizing oneself with the GEOGRAPHY of a place (a really important one that I feel people don’t really talk about), researching attractions from different perspectives & using multiple, varied resources, knowing where to go for help, preparing proper lodging accordingly & communicating with hosts/staff, researching FOOD, too. I could go on and on.

But when it comes to traveling, especially while on a budget bc we are broke ass college kids, the amount of proper communication & discussion & preparation with other members of the group that needs to go into it is no joke. It’s not fun and games, it’s making sure that we know what the fuck we’re doing in a foreign environment so that we can explore, see things, get around, eat, and ENJOY our time safely and efficiently.

SO in that sense, I’m also pretty proud of myself & my friends. Special shout out to Sabrina Sooyoung Wong who was my ultimate travel buddy for (almost) everywhere I went. I already miss the amazing time we had together :’(

Continuing where I left off, I have realized that this writing is taking way too long. The day that marks one year since I left for Korea has already passed (August 21st) & I realized that I was gone for exactly 11 months: Aug 21 - July 21 (w/ a break in bw ofc) bc I literally landed back in America on the 21st of July, not realizing that the day I left was exactly the 21st as well. And my birthday is on the 21st too. Of Sept..:0 that’s whack. ANYWAYYYYYYY…………

What more do I have to say about this trip, hmmmm……. Ive already talked about my growth through the language and through traveling all over the place…These days, ive truly been trying to relive & recall the worries that shrouded my mind a year ago before I left.

I remember so clearly, constantly asking myself “How will my life change once I go and live there? Will I even be able to make any friends?” People around me also kept telling me that I would “HAVE SO MUCH FUNNNN”, but I recall constantly shutting them down and being pessimistic & telling everyone that I “would just be a normal student studying all the time, just in a different country lol” To address all these predeparture worries, I’ll say simply, thinking back on it now: My life changed SO MUCH, that it feels like nothing even happened at all (ik like wtf??? But lemme explain…), I made friends that I know will last a lifetime, and HONESTLY, I worked really hard studying when it came down to it, but I also made sure to have as much fun as I could. I did my best to balance everything (especially 2nd semester..)

So like, how tf could my life have changed so much that it feels unreal? Well, it’s exactly that. My daily life, the way I went about my daily routine, the lifestyle that I honed, the world that I wrapped myself in, the things I did, the food I ate, just about EVERYTHING about my life in Korea was so drastically different than my life in America, that returning home actually just makes it all feel like a dream, as if it were all a lie. My Korean lifestyle and my American lifestyle are incomparable. They are two completely different worlds. And for that…. I….. yes, I miss the Korean one like crazy every day, but that affection and sentiment for what I had makes my experience all the more precious and just… dear to my heart. Oh so dear to my heart, 나의 유학생활…. I think I kept asking myself the “how will it change” question countless times before I left because I was trying to prepare myself, trying to make sure I don’t throw myself off in the heat of it, make sure I stay grounded in the reality of my circumstances. And although nothing could’ve prepared myself enough for all those specific changes in my life, I think I definitely stayed rooted in mindfulness and never lost sight of the privilege I had.

If I look back on my first semester writings, I always repeated the words “thankful” & “grateful”. I really did my everything to remind myself of those feelings. Same goes for the friends that I met. Particularly my first semester gang, my days spent with them were infinitely bright. I feel like we were all so lost in the wonders of Korea (and Taiwan) and the beauty of just being there, spending time together, having valuable conversations, but also some very dumb ones, and really just bathing in the precious company of each other. It is not every day you meet an amazing group of people as the ones I did 1st sem. I gave yall a shoutout before, but thank yall again for taking care of me, the youngest of younglings out there, and making me laugh & smile more than I could ever recall doing with anyone else. Even my blessed friends from 2nd sem too, sooyoung, antony, Vicky, & 익안언니, I could not have imagined what my life would’ve been with them. My point in all of this? I was so worried about “making friends”, but miraculously, luckily, AMAZINGLY, it all worked out in the end. I am so grateful for that. I got close to some frking really cool people, who I still talk to today, who I still think about a lot, whom I owe a lot of myself to. Even if our collective time spent together was not the longest, even if the timespan of my other friendships are significantly more extensive, the friends I made through studying abroad are infinitely valuable and precious to me at the end of the day. Only stunning memories remain. Our friendships wont end there. They only started in Korea, but I have faith that they will transcend timezones and the years to come.

In terms of just balancing LIFE in korea, I can definitely recall many instances where I felt completely overwhelmed and burnt out. Those days were bound to come from the start. There were many days were I lacked a significant amount of sleep because I was so busy, there were days were I felt perpetually stuck & I could never overcome my problems (the things… a foreigner in Korean cannot do without a phone number…. Gg I felt soooooo shitty at that time)… there were also, ofc, days where I felt frustrated with many different people, there were days were I was so stressed out about whether I was doing the right thing (my 2 tutoring gigs…) or if I deserved anything I was receiving…., there were countless days where I studied hard and stressed about academics, as always (but I managed to get all A+’s 2nd sem & im honestly so proud of that…) …there were plenty of days where I would feel Korean societal standards weigh down on me & I felt painfully inclined to fit in in any and every way possible,.. I also struggled with deeper questions about the kind of toxic community Koreans can foster in various contexts (political, nationalism, etc..)… and the biggest of adversities, the one that broke me down the most, and to this day has left me empty & lost… was watching my singer get torn apart and disappear before my eyes.

I have written about this specific topic very extensively in a different piece, and…. It is definitely a pretty heated, passionate, painful piece. I had many many many many things to say about all of it, and I actually still have countless words to say, honestly. For sake of concision, for sake of keeping my sanity in place for at least this piece of text, for the sake of my world that has crumbled apart far too much for me to ever pick myself back up again… I’ll just say… I miss him so much and I pray for the day I can listen to him again. I won’t even be greedy and say “see” him again. I know ive seen him more times than I ever deserved too. But I want to listen to his voice again. In a new light, in a reassuring way. In some form, I want to hear him again… just once at least… please…Knowing him, listening to him for years, holding onto my life with his voice & music… I know that he needs to do music and nothing else. It breaks my heart every day to think about how this light has been lost from him.

One day… one day……….. I pray desperately every day that one day, he will come back to us. Please.

Its honestly pretty difficult to talk about my hardships during my time in Korea without mentioning that stuff. It has taken such a big toll on me, life became so taxing because of that one situation, that even today I sit here, half a year after it all fell apart, without much improvement on the state of things anyway. But enough of the negative stuff. I hope that’s enough. Despite all the pain & highkey trauma I acquired from it all, I know that at the end of the day I learned valuable lessons and that I am still grateful for every experience nonetheless.

I still wouldn’t be who I am today or where I am today without those tough times, too. It sucks that I lost my light along the way, I lost sight of my world that so ironically always gave me healing when I needed it most.

Another thing I should mention is how I am also very grateful for that fact that I never got sick while in Korea, or just while abroad in general. I usually catch a cold about once a year, even my first year of college, I definitely had that small period of time where I was dead sick from some sort of virus. But not once, did my body ever falter while abroad. It’s ironic because usually being in foreign countries, especially the not-the-most-sanitary ones like Thailand, Taiwan, etc, one would normally be much more susceptible to a stomach bug or heat-related complication or whatever. One would think that my body would be especially vulnerable abroad. But nope. I stayed strong all throughout. I’m pretty damn proud of that too. I tend to take my health for granted, but looking back on it now, I guess I held up pretty well despite all the odds against me.

The most important question I should be asking myself now is… How have I changed since I’ve studied abroad? Some basic changes would be my outer appearance. My makeup has definitely changed, my clothes do not exactly look like the rest of my friends’, and my eyes are sometimes slightly different colored LOL. But, mentally? Emotionally? What has korea done to me? I thought that once I returned from being abroad, I could be this strong, amazing, fearless, bold person. Maybe in some aspects, I do feel that way. But quite frankly, being away from some beloved, close friends for so long has left me more insecure and unsure than I would like to admit.

No part of my confidence has significantly skyrocketed or anything. I am still too much of a pessimist for any of that to be possible. I actually feel kinda reluctant, vulnerable, skeptical… when it comes back to reconnecting with the friends I haven’t seen for over a year. So in this way, Korea has changed me in which I do not know how to reconvene with the life I originally left.

Korea also….. made me fall in love with the “Asian lifestyle”. I say this a lot in person, but I think I genuinely love Asian culture & way of living better than America’s. Especially after coming back & coming to terms with how normalized some illegal stuff are among kids my age are now, I cant vibe with any of that. I know well enough that both cultures have their pros and cons and but I think I can safely say I prefer one over the other. I have grown up in the same exact house and neighborhood my entire life and I very ironically chose to go to a school that mirrors this familiar environment almost perfectly. Therefore, I easily lose sight about what is new, what is enjoyable, what keeps me grounded here.

So to be honest, nothing keeps me grounded in my hometown. Not my parents, not really my hometown friends, nothing special. It’s a fact that I felt more attached to Korea than America. I don’t know. It just ended up that way.

I traveled to and studied there for a year because I felt like my heart belonged there. And after coming back, I think I finally can contest to that statement.

One more thing, as I try to run out of things to say… I dislike K-pop and I wish it wasn’t such a definitive part of Korea itself. I know for a fact that the way in which K-pop has blown up over the years is an inherent loss for Korean culture because now the world has been misguided, misinformed, and misinterpreting Korea as a whole due to K-pop. I hate how, if I were to speak to someone ive never met before about me studying abroad in Korea, they would most likely assume that I like K-pop or make some sort of connection to my experience, with K-pop. That presumption needs to end. I do not relate my experience to K-pop in any way. There was so much outside of that. So like, no, I did not meet so-and-so. No, I did not see that group on the streets. No, I did not go to that concert. I admit I went to plenty of concerts, but those people were basically NO NAMES compared to actual K-pop artists… So please… I wish there was a distance between Kpop & Korea.

I have come to cherish Korean culture way outside of K-pop. Sure, its what exposed me to it all in the beginning, but I very quickly, very NATURALLY, grew out of that mindset & perspective. Sigh. That’s that. A real shame.

I haven’t been able to wrap this up for an entire week now and I think, right before I head back to school for good at UCI, this would be a good time to close it up for good.

What I meant to talk about throughout this entire “final journey” chunk was how studying abroad changed me, and what that might mean for my future.

These days, while ive been lowkey wallowing away at home, avoiding my responsibilities and waiting for everything to come crashing down onto me once I return to Irvine, one of the biggest things ive been really missing is Yeosu. My spontaneous 2 day, 1 night trip to Yeosu with Sabrina was probably one of the best spontaneous adventures I ever chose to do.

Yeosu held some sort of beauty that is so impossible to explain, that pictures don’t even do justice for, and is really just a hidden gem sort of place that I am so so so blessed to have visited and fallen in love with. Even if it was just for two short days, Yeosu treated us SO well. It will forever be one of the best memories I’ve made in Korea, because of all its combined natural beauty, open air, wonderful weather, breathtaking views, exciting and undying street pojangmacha street life, and FOOD! Amazing, home-cooked 한식…..it was really, honestly, great.

Another thing I thought of: I feel like I took so many airplanes that I lost count and I even lost that exhilarating, enthusiastic feeling that used to be associated with taking airplanes at some point. I am not trying to BRAG that I had that sort of privilege, but I just wanted to…. Reminisce on that missing emotion. Now, going through that entire check-in, security, waiting, boarding process feels sooooo draggy, and if anything, even a waste of time….. :( but I at least appreciate airplanes for being able to take me everywhere…

OKAY FOR REALS, last thing im going to address: my current perceptions on sharing my journey abroad with others. If im going to be completely honest, I really hesitate to talk about how I studied in Korea for a year. I am pretty damn paranoid about what people would think of me and I am reluctant to really tell my story because I feel like all of it is very important and special and dear to my heart that it’s not as simple as “yeah, it was chill, I had a great time”. In response to the question of “omg how was it????”, ive literally made a script for myself: “honestly, like my life in korea and my life here in America were so totally different that it feels like it didn’t even happen… it went by so fast and there was so much going on that coming back here feels pretty weird…also, reverse-culture shock is real”

That is the best spiel I can muster up if I were to briefly talk about my experiences abroad. But in reality, I would want to talk about why korea & the Korean language mean so much to me, how grateful I am for all the places and people and things I got to see, how convenient day-to-day life was. And most of all, I would want to address the all the negative things I discovered about Korea. I would want to talk about how for nearly half of my time there, my world was, and still is, crashing down onto me, and how that entire happening has affected my viewpoint of Korean society greatly. I would love to go on about the nuances that make Korea a very toxic social environment, how many aspects that make it well-known and well-received globally also contribute to my disliking for Korea. My experience was so eye-opening. It really was. With all the beauty I discovered along the way, I feel like I faced some extremely terrible shit, too. But of course, as I have been repeating ceaselessly, I am thankful at the end of the day. I always am.

I think at this point, I don’t have much more to say. Despite how much I miss Korea on a daily basis, for now, I think its best to let go of it. I am proud that my daily Instagram will stay as my detailed, thorough testimony to the countless experiences and stories I thought were worth sharing, or remembering at the very least. 286 days. To be exact, I was abroad for 286 days. Not a year exactly, but sorta close. I did my best. I did everything I could. I was independent as I could be, I saw all the things I could see, and I just appreciated it all at the end of the day.

I am really excited to go back one day. It’s at the least the one thing keeping me a little bit optimistic for the future.

잘 있어줘, 한국아. 모든 걸 고마웠다.

#korea #yonsei #klife #study abroad #its officially all over #twas a good run #thank u for everything #to all the ppl that made it worth #am forever grateful

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marystudies · 6 years

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A LONG ASS LIST OF TIPS FOR HIGH SCHOOL: FRESHMAN TO SENIOR YEAR LETS GO

Disclaimer: This is just from my experience, so these might not all apply to you!

Freshman Year

ok, ok, freshman year can be scary but don’t let that get to you

dont worry about upperclassmen being rude/teasing you

it’ll most likely happen, but I’ve never seen an upperclassman tease a freshman with the intention to really hurt them

one day you’ll be them so dw

on the topic of upperclassmen, make some older friends!!! (through classes, sports, etc.) it’s so nice to have someone give you tips and help you through high school

dont expect your friend group to stay the same lol

BUT ITS A GOOD THING I PROMISE YOU

I was scared of changing my friend group, so even though I wasn’t being treated too well, it wasn’t until senior year when I really made a change and I wish I did it earlier

be open to meeting new people, everyone is scared just like you and looking for more friends

I don’t think its neccessary for freshman to become sUPER involved in clubs and all that but at least get a feel for whats out there

try out for a sport if you play one!

this goes for all of high school, not just freshman year, but I regret not being as involved as I could’ve been

Go to school events like football games and dances! School spirit is considered weird in middle school but its cool in high school

take your classes seriously, your teachers are right - high school is much harder than middle school (but it’s not too bad if you stay organized!)

my freshman year GPA was my lowest like english really caught me off guard (properly formatted, 5 paragraph essays being 50% of your grade??? a concept.)

so my cumulative GPA was brought down

I think most freshman don’t have access to AP classes to boost your GPA or anything, but if you’re looking to push yourself take an honors class or 2! (if available)

Sophomore Year

wooohooo ur no longer a freshman

I’d take at least 1 AP class if you can

my sophomore year I took AP Human Geo - which I really loved, and it also wasn’t too hard

a lot of sophomores take AP World which is a BITCH of a class

BUT I wouldn’t recommend taking Honors World because you don’t get the GPA boost, you don’t get college credits (unless you take the AP Euro test or something), and it’s almost just as hard

this is a bit random - but when you’re taking Algebra 2 (which was my sophomore year) PLS PAY ATTENTION math builds on itself don’t fuck yourself over

take the PSAT if you want (I honestly don’t remember if I took it freshman year too but eh), but seriously its not required

start thinking about college (I know it’s the last thing you want to do)

just little things like

when do I want to take the SAT/ACT?

would I like a small school or a big school?

What will I be able to put on my college applications?

like if you do community service through a club/church/etc then great!!! sports? YEs

can’t think of anything? Join a club! Try out for a sport (it’s not too late) Find something that interests you

you’re probably pretty situated socially now but never be afraid to get to know those classmates/”school friends” better!

Junior Year

so junior year is commonly thought of as the hardest year of highschool

which is partially true (we’ll get there later)

but anyways, seriously buckle your seatbelt and get ready to work your ass off because THIS YEAR COUNTS, LADIES AND GENTS

Take AP classes if available

I took AP Psych (WOULD HIGHLY RECOMMEND) and Honors PreCalc (coming from regular Algebra 2)

Psych gave me college credit and a GPA boost

HPC gave me a GPA boost for UCs

It was a bitCH of a class but it made AP calc a breeze

If you haven’t started already, start prepping for SAT/ACT and then take them

tutoring is very helpful, but it can be expensive

I’ve seen studyblrs post about free prep through Kahn Academy and other stuff, so you might have to do a bit of digging but there are tons of resources out there

TAKE PRACTICE TESTS

take one of each first - then focus on the test you did better on

one of my biggest regrets is taking SAT prep instead of ACT prep because my ACT (which I didn’t do specialized prep for) ended up equivalent to my SAT (which I did prep for)

the more you take em the better you get

Studyblr is gr8 for finding test taking tips

If you’re not happy with your score, just take it again! I only took each one once but most people improve their scores if they take it again

I recommend visiting a few universities when you’re on break! Get a feel for what you like and what you don’t like (size, location, public/private, etc) and what kind of school you could get accepted to

you don’t want to end up applying to a billion schools that you wouldn’t even want to go to

private schools like it when you express interest by visiting

so if you’re visiting, make sure you check in so you can be in their system

END OF JUNIOR YEAR - ASK FOR LETTERS OF REC NOW! BY THE FIRST WEEK OF SENIOR YEAR A LOT OF TEACHERS ARE ALREADY TAKING ON TOO MANY LETTERS!

Senior Year (buckle up this section is the longest)

but YAY UR A SENIOR

DO FUN SENIOR YEAR THINGS like my school has all kinds of events for seniors and it’s so great

Remember when I said junior year is the hardest? Yeah well no... 1st semester senior year is SO MUCH WORSE ur in for a lot of fun

Ok seriously - don’t let senioritis get to you first semester

Still take challenging classes! Schools are looking for progression in difficulty

Those mid year transcripts REALLY DO MATTER!

College apps, man

Make sure you’re communicating with your counselor to make sure you have everything ready and on track

like file the FAFSA and CSS (used for lots of privates)

tbh I didn’t think it would help me a lot but it (the CSS) actually did so just do it even if you think you’ll get nothing

Ok so hopefully at this point you have a feel for what schools you are interested in

Things to consider: location, price, size, public/private, difficulty of the application, ranking, program/major you are applying to, campus, overall vibe

I didn’t do any interviews but maybe look into it

Don’t get too comfortable and set reasonable goals - apply to several safety schools, a few good options/could go either way schools, but also a few “reaches”

ESSAYS

I’m no college counselor, but don’t just wing your essays without having an adult/professional look over them

I got lucky - my mom is a professional writer so my family didn’t pay for a counselor

Do your research - you can find so much information about what schools are looking for in essays

If an essay is “optional” DO IT it’s really not optional lol

Keep in mind - these essays are nothing like what you’ve been taught. You don’t have to (and often SHOULDNT) write a 5 paragraph essay with topic sentences relating back to the thesis and evidence, etc. its much more free

think “What is the story I am going to tell?”

get creative - this is hard and takes some time

Think: How am I going to separate myself from thousands of applicants? What is a story that ONLY I can tell?

DO EARLY ACTION FOR AS MANY SCHOOLS AS POSSIBLE!!!

such a relief to knowing you got in somewhere in like,,,, november

acceptance rates are higher for EA

the order from highest to lowest is ED > EA > RD

Early Decision scares me (schools will say they give equal scholarship consideration but lol thats a lie)

but if you have your heart set on a school go ahead

apply to other school just in case, you don’t want to get stuck starting all your apps when a lot of students have already turned them all in

Now that you’re done with applications (whew), the acceptances (and rejection) will start coming!! yay!

ok first for acceptances

those first acceptances are so cool like YAY YOU GOT INTO COLLEGE IM PROUD OF U

as soon as you get your first acceptances really start researching the school more and deciding if you’d REALLY want to go there or not

i know this is hard bc you haven't heard back from all your schools but it’ll make choosing a school so much easier

sadly, not all acceptances are happy tho

like I got accepted to my #1 school but they gave me no money so it was impossible to go

I was so emo for a couple days there

BUT! If you’re serious about it, try appealing for financial aid but keep your expectations low

ok now waitlists

these can be a bit nerve wracking

PLEASE apply for the waitlist right away

at some schools if you dont within a couple days, your application might get thrown out

aaaaand rejections

i dont have a lot to say about this but please dont be too hard on yourself

sometimes its just not meant to be and thats ok!

NOW PICKING A COLLEGE

def the most difficult and mentally draining part for me lol

make sure you really map out everything to consider

net cost (tuition, room & board, books, travel, personal expenses, etc.), size, location, etc.

I personally had this idea that I’d end up at a big school far from home but I’m going to a small school close to home and I’m still super excited!!! So make sure you give every school a second look

APPLY FOR SCHOLARSHIPS!

the essays aren’t usually too bad and sometimes you can just rework your college app essays

you can find them online, your school might have some (like PTA scholarships, band scholarships, etc.)

ok this is the time everyone really gets senioritis

i almost didn’t get senioritis at all lol just because slacking off stressed me out

but please be smart about it dont get rescinded

and lastly have fun! high school really does fly by, it’ll be over before you know it

#lol the senior year part is so much longer than the others #studyblr #high school #high school tips #study tips #studyspo #study motivation

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betterfor4-blog · 5 years

Text

My Pursuit of Happiness Manifesto

--- In a nutshell (to take the time to read or not): This post gives context to my life, why I have started this blog, the clear goals I have set for my family and how I am going to manage it. ----

Dear Universe and the Human Race,

The Context of My Life

Thank you for my life. Through nothing else but chance and luck I find myself truly blessed (in a completely non-religious way). Even if I didn’t intend, plan or pursue it, I find myself in my late 30s with a beautiful old-fashioned, very-not-cool nuclear family. We could be the poster family for hetero-normative, white, 2 young kids and a dog in an average brick house. Please don’t for a second though think that I believe or promote this as the only way as being. This is the context for my life, however, I am open-minded and supportive of all the different kinds of ways that family and love exists in this world.

I acknowledge that I live on this planet in a way many cannot or will never get the opportunity to. I acknowledge that the way I live is because of the toil of many who will never have my privilege.

Completely off life-plan I married my first love who I met when I was a teenager. He is intelligent, gorgeous, compassionate, funny, loyal and simply a good person (if not sometimes a little too ‘linear/pragmatic/black and white in his thinking). We both had opportunities to become well educated and ambition to form our own independent careers. We both trained and work in the Sciences; I am an educator. We lived exciting lives with lots of travel and friends and then 3 years ago we welcomed our first lovely daughter into this world (Miss C1). Late last year our family was completed by our second lovely daughter (Miss C2).

The Reason For This Blog And What I Want In This Life

I am genuinely happy, 8/10, like Scandinavian happy (those guys have it all worked out). I know who I am and I am very clear in my mind about my goals, values and ambitions for myself and my family. I have prefaced and contextualized my life in this post however, as my problems are slight, though they still exist an I am in pursuit of happiness (9 and 10 numbers).

I want to live meaningfully in this life and raise my girls consciously and with clear intent. I want our family activities, daily life and conversations to be ‘rich’ in the holistic manner of the word rather than the dollars and cents version. I want for a lot and have some clear goals/thoughts:

1. MINIMALISM - I want to live better with less...

- I want to spend less on the stuff we don’t need.

- I don’t want to waste things (especially food and other such resources).

- I want every item in our home to bring joy, be useful and used frequently.

- I wish to invest in family experiences more than things.

- I don’t want to get caught up in the fast fashion cycle, buying my girls $2 t-shirts that last 3 washes and are thrown away at the cost of both environment and people.

- I want high quality goods that are fixed or re-purposed rather than just thrown away.

- I want to our modest block of land to be productive for

- I don’t want to spend my life cleaning or battling with storing stuff making our home and lives less enjoyable.

- I want a clean and organised house that I don’t have to feel burdened by maintaining but I am not ashamed by unexpected guests.

2. Experiential Based Family Life - I want our daily lives to be rich in conversation and experiences.

- Less Screen time or maybe more meaningful screen time for everybody.

- More games and playing.

- More travel and family experiences more frequently.

- More nature in our daily lives. More getting outside.

- Ensure my girls get the best education possible by exposing them to opportunities and educational experiences. Peppa Pig is not nearly educational enough (read severe sarcasm).

3. HEALTH - A Healthier Family

For us health comes in 3 pillars: sleep, food and exercise. To be honest all are crumbling a little at the moment...

- I am overweight and have been my entire adult life and I want to rectify that for the most important reason in the world; it gives me the best chance to be with my family for the longest amount of time. I’ll blog about this later.

- I want my family to eat well and diversely. I want my girls to have a good relationship with food where no food is forbidden. I need to create strategies and structures to allow and develop this.

- We need to be working towards 8 hours of sleep a night, the girls need more.

- We need strategies in our lives than ensures that Mum and Dad are getting at least 10,000 steps a day and some cardio (I would love to know how far Miss C1 goes in a Day).

4. IMPROVE MY IDENTITY CAPITAL - be the best Mum I can be.

I think for the first time in my life I am ready to live by the wisdom of ‘taking care of yourself before others’ (the old apply your oxygen mask in a plane emergency before helping others). I am tapped out, my cup is dry... whatever you want to call it.

Basically, I am a stay at home Mum with 2 girls under 3 and I am TIRED. Not just sleep deprived but emotionally exhausted. I feel like junk and everywhere I look I see work to be done. Worst thing yet, I just returned from a holiday super relaxed. Which was good, because it reinforced to me that I am more than run down, I am depleted.

I want more ‘arrows in my quiver’. In short, as my husband would put it I need more diverse identity capital. I need to my life to be filled with hobbies and activities and people to recover some of my energy and zest for life. Yet at the same time I feel the Social Media Direct Messenger culture of 21st Century melts my mind a little.

Previously, my job consumed me and that is the way I liked it. I have chosen however to sacrifice my career in order to give my girls the best chance (see goal 2-5). Staying at home was not an emotionally easy choice, but an easy logical one. I am an educator. This is what I do. The idea of returning to work (when I didn’t have to) and allowing someone else to raise and educate my girls at this early stage seemed like insanity. I am also lucky that the system I work for holds my job for me for about 6 years. But back to the point, it left a career sized hole in my life that of late has been harder to fill.

My mind is a fog of fruit pouches, nappies and nursery rhymes. Yet, I know that this time of my life will pass faster than I will in retrospect have liked it to. Before it does though I need to write in full sentences on a regular basis. I need to stretch my mind. I need to model to my girls how you can work towards a work-life balance.

Vainly, I am also in desperate need of a Mum makeover. I need some Mum style before my girls start school. B.C. (before children) I had work clothes and a few casual pieces. 2 pregnancies and no work later I am adrift in my new life, at least style wise, and it has left me feeling fairly invisible.

5. WEALTH - I want us all to be grateful for what we have and show that.

This one really doesn’t need dot points. My family are privileged and that is not a crime, but to become entitled or not appreciate our good fortune, well that is. I want us to not waste and give back where we can as often as we can.

As for our actual finances. I figure if we live more mindfully with less we will spend less. The money we save will be able to fund our experiences and travel. It is the old “take care of the cents and the dollars will take care of themselves” approach. I will be exploring this later though.

Summary

So on rereading this, two things I note.

- I sound far more ‘hippy-dippy’ than I feel I am, but the list is accurate. I wonder if this resonates with other 21st Century slightly left-leaning Mum’s out there? Where is my tribe?

- I am WAY daunted by this list. To set an appropriate mental image I am sitting at my dining room table eating a carrot as the baby bashes her drink bottle on her highchair pulverizing crackers into dust (now on the floor) and the toddler is talking to me asking constant ‘why’ questions. The latest question was “why do doctors say you can’t jump on the bed?” referring to the song ‘5 little Monkies’. Both of these things are an improvement from 30 minutes ago where they were both competing to press any buttons they could on my laptop.

How Will I Achieve This?

Don’t know in short. But I know this... I cancelled my gym membership recently because getting there with the two girls was near impossible and ridiculously expensive once I paid for the creche for the both of them. I felt like I had lost something too. Like the cards were proverbially stacked against me and my fitness goals as a stay at home Mum (CHAINED TO THE HOUSE I TELL YOU). On the way home though I questioned why I honestly needed the gym, more specifically an instructor telling me to ‘sashay’. I decided on two reasons. The first, the group environment means I won’t quit as I would never give in when being observed by others. The second, because the instructor had the knowledge.

It occurred to me on that trip home that I could replace those classes with YouTube and a blog. A blog to keep me honest and check in (even if no one reads it) and YouTube for the knowledge. The internet is a global community of ‘DIY knowledge’ and all I had to do was harness it.

So that is the strategy for this blog. I am going to use the power of the internet to learn, share and record my improvements.

How Will I Measure Progress And What Is The Timeline?

I am going to have to research that on the internet (LOL). I think I am going to need different tools for different aspects of my life.

I am going to start by posting Mon, Wed, Fri and tackling a different aspect each time:

Monday - Health

Wednesday - Minimalism

Friday - Experiences

I am writing this to no one in particular and everyone in order to keep myself honest and on track in the way I am going to change our lives.

The purpose of this blog and particularly long post... I’ve got to be better for the four of us. I have to live my best life to honor this extraordinary life I have been gifted.

#mumlife #stayathomemomlife #familylife #happiness #bebetter #privilegedlife #makingachange #family #betterhealth #minamilism #scandihappy #betterfor4 #mumtribe

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stillebesat · 6 years

Note

Hope I’m not late to the party! 11, 24 and perhaps 25 again? For the meme ask!

lol you’re never too late! :D Ask away.

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

*thinking face* Hmmm.... Possibly my descriptions/setting the scene. Because like...I’m usually pretty good with conversations and such, but I do feel like I’m improving in adding in descriptive things/action beats and such without taking away from the story. And my ability to include ‘backstory’ is also slowly improving, where I’m figuring out how to give just enough background info to make it pertinent to the current story without overloading the reader with unnecessary information. 24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

Funnily enough...I tend to already have a general basis on a lot of information just from my love of learning? Like my major in college had me dabbling in a bunch of different classes from, business, to psychology, to human anatomy, to theatre, to chemistry, to criminal justic etc. (ASL -Interpreting major. I needed to take a bunch of different classes to have background information on how to sign things for future clients) So in a lot of areas, I already have a basic knowledge of things. But I do tend to go to google or to friends/family for more information if I need to know more in basically every story. I often like to fact check things and make sure I’m using information correctly. But I don’t think I’m an ‘expert’ in any means, I just have a craving for accuracy. ^^ So examples would be...

Like in Courage, Braveheart I looked up the steps to having heart surgery. What is done before surgery, during surgery and after surgery. Found in the Glitter and The Butterfly Effect had a lot of theatre in it, so I went to google to find specific theatre titles for different jobs, and also to my friends @nekoabi & @mostlyeviloverlord for advice on what happens before/during/after performances. As well as info on how certain plays are done. So that was helpful there!

I think the only one I could be considered “Expert” in would be Meeting Einstein because I actually work in a PetStore so a lot of what Logan says about animals is what I would say to customers...with some creative writing liberties thrown in lol. ....Though I do plan to use personal experiences with customers and such at work in a future “Pet fish” related Sanders Fic. So yah. I’ll be quite the expert there. ^^;;

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Ooo!!! Ummmm…. *goes searching*

Okay. So this is slightly longer than a ‘short paragraph’ but it’s from my fic Contained. Specifically from Chapter 3.

This marble light, a warmer color than the grain, was still cool to the touch. Smooth. Calming. And. Creativity wriggled his shoulders as his fingers pressed into the marble. Squishy! A tiny giggle escaped from him before he could stop it and he tensed, looking up at the lid, eyes wide. Still. Quiet. Shhhhhh.

No movement. Creativity relaxed. He’d been quiet enough to not anger the creature that was outside. Good.

His fingers moved, drawing his attention away from the lid as they pressed into the marble, squishing it from all sides. The muscles on his face protested as his lips pulled back into a rusty smile as he created basic shapes with eager fingers. Shapes he’d almost forgotten along with the colors in his quiet isolation.

Pull the circle and there was an oval. Squish the sides and a rectangle replaced it. His fingers danced along the malleable surface, forming squares, triangles, and trapezoids in quick succession.

Again Creativity wiggled, a soft bubble of laughter escaping from him, as he altered the marble, a faint zing of energy rushing up and down his spine as his mind whirled, caught up in the process of creating.

I just really like this sequence because a) I struggled without how to write it out for the longest time. It was a bit of a writer’s block for me ironically enough and b) I just love describing Creativity rediscovering how to ‘create’ things after being deprived from any sort of creative stimulus for so long.

Thanks for the ask!! :D I had a lot of fun answering.

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brianjpatterson · 7 years

Text

SPOTLIGHT: My relationship to failure

If you’re just joining Spotlight, then this is my personal journal of my personal journey as a performer. It’s a kind of way for me to look back on all of my experiences, and lessons I’ve learned, while simultaneously sharing what I’ve learned with you. Disclaimer: The word PERSONAL was utilized twice in the first sentence. Therefore, this is not the gospel or the truth, it’s just me sharing MY experiences in an effort to assist, if possible, in other people’s discovery (end disclaimer). Today, I’m taking a small break from my A+B=C method which focuses on “Brian’s B’s” (Being, Behavior, and Business), to talk about something that I think we all encounter….FAILURE.

I post a lot about success and achievement in this blog site in the form of strategies I have developed, and even my own wins. Recently, I had been feeling like a very big failure. Therefore, today, I’m going to talk to you about my failures. My failures far outperform my successes, and couple of weeks ago I was feeling out of sorts, and had been feeling that way for about a week or so. The day I started writing this, I ended up going to the gym, doing a Zumba class, and afterwards listening to Jem & the Holograms’ “We Can Change It” on repeat (because it’s one of the most positive and uplifting songs I’ve ever heard…Not only that, but it takes me back to a much simpler time in my life, and always puts a smile on my face). So there I was listening to Jem, while doing what I call a “White Boy Workout”. You know, the kind where you lift the heaviest weights possible and angry grunt a lot. White boys, please don’t be offended. As the late, great Joan Rivers said, “It’s a fucking joke!” lol :) At any rate, I often do that kind of workout when I’m letting off steam, and I REALLY needed to let off some steam because I was feeling like a complete and total failure. Why? Well, let me give you some details to set up my current situation. It started with a list of unfortunate events at the end of 2016. First, the big named clients for whom I normally worked, and who provided me with over 70% of my annual income, were not hiring for 2017. I also found out in mid-2017 that they weren’t going to be hiring for the second year in a row. Second, my assistance from said jobs had expired at the end of 2017. Third, my agent, who provided the remainder/other portion of my income (and with whom I’d been signed for the last nine years), decided to shut down the agency and close their doors for good. Fourth, around this time multiple members of my family were contacting me in a near desperate state because my other parent was also experiencing what were percieved as a potential major health concern. Fifth, and last but not least, my living situation had become even more toxic…again (that’s an entire essay in itself, and one I’ll save for another day). The culmination of all these things forced me to make a very big change in my life, which was to move from the nest I’d created for myself over the last 14 years in San Francisco, and try a new market. So I packed up my things, and headed for Los Angeles to live with my adoptive brother. Now I am in a new market, where no one knows me, and no one knows my work history, talents, or my work ethic. Not to mention, I had to utilize my savings and have also accumulated a bit of debt over the past two years just trying to survive and stay afloat. This brings me to my situation from a few weeks ago where I was feeling kind of lost and alone, and without any income or upcoming work. For all intents and purposes, I’m essentially completely starting over in my life in nearly every way. Needless to say, I have been feeling like a GIANT failure. In addition, after reviewing my annual business plan only days before, I reviewed my list of goals. By nature they should take me to the next level of my career, but I am now living in a place where I’m a nobody and can’t see how to achieve these new goals. This for me highlighted the fact that I was once again a giant failure in life…period. Yet, there’s that word ‘once again’. I have been here before, and I’m willing to bet that many others have either felt like this, or have also been in similar situations; Especially other performers. So how do I (we) transform my (our) failures into successes? I’m guessing the answer lies in failing some more.

FAIL MORE TO ENDURE

In a previous post, where I discussed my approach to making a living as an actor, I mention that statistically the average performer (specifically actor) only books 10% of every thing for which they might audition. Utilizing this statistic against the average day rate of pay for the market in which I lived (San Francisco), I calculated that I would need to attend approximately 25-30 auditions per month just to break even on monthly expenses. Keep in mind if you look at this another way, this would mean that I would be failing to book approximately 23-27 times EACH MONTH! That means over the last 7 years, I failed to book a job over 1,900 times. Many of them were very VERY good paying jobs that could’ve taken me many other places. To exemplify, there were approximately 4 big budget SAG national commercials in that mix, all of them paying what would have been the equivalent of my annual salary. I was placed on a hold/check avail for all of them…and I booked none of them; Failed. I won’t even go into detail about the network tv show for which I was being strongly considered. Long story short, the director received my name and resume from a mutual friend, but after reviewing my materials, he said that he “wouldn’t waste putting me in a supporting role”; Failed! Yes, that’s only a couple of examples to help illustrate how my failures have far outweighed my successes. But much like my equation for breaking even on monthly expenses while living in San Francisco, the equation for success is similar. Failing a lot ensures achieving at least 10% success from failures. So I have to go out there and fail s’more! Why? Well, first off it’s how we build durability.

The very first audition I attended was in Pittsburgh, PA and it was for a toothpaste commercial. I had just been introduced to theatre in high school, and was performing in the spring musical for the first time. I went into the audition and naturally I totally BOMBED IT! I was completely horrible and even though I felt as though I was invincible, I had absolutely NO IDEA what I was doing. Needless to say, I didn’t get the job, and I knew it as soon as I left the audition room. I cried for the longest time and didn’t attend an audition again for probably a year. Which of course was next year’s school spring musical audition. While in high school I built up a small ability to endure these auditions and it got stronger and stronger each year. Cut to twenty five years later, I now find the audition process to be a normal thing. Although I still experience nerves, it’s become normal and natural for me and I’ve built up a kind of inoculation to it where I can navigate it much better. I’ve built up a durability to it. Durability is one of the coolest after effects of failing often. The more we fail, the more durable we become so that things don’t have such a crippling effect on us.

FAIL MORE TO MASTER

Another great after effect of more failures, is mastery and/or learning. For this, I always think of one example in particular. I was on set with another actor one day and he was talking about things that inspired him, and how many actors often aren’t very good in their early years. He used the example of Eva Longoria, and he claimed that she wasn’t very good during her early soap opera days. I stopped him and asked him if he knew about the conditions under which soap opera actors operate. He admitted he didn’t know, and so I told him. A lot of the time, soap opera actors are given scripts merely minutes or hours before shooting. This can also sometimes be true of many other episodic television as well. The business side of much of entertainment operates so quickly that it doesn’t always leave the adequate space or room for in depth actor preparation. Specifically soap operas. So when he saw Eva Longoria, he saw someone who was probably new to the business and hadn’t had practice operating under those kinds of circumstances. After hearing this, the actor with whom I was working, better understood the circumstances under which Eva was operating (EVERYONE has different circumstances in life, and it’s always great to keep this in mind). This was a great example of someone who failed in order to master. Once Ms. Longoria had an understanding of the system, she knew how to work with it and even began mastering it. This was evident in her work on other shows in the future as she really kicked some ass on screen!

I have failed like that in many ways. The only difference is that I used San Francisco as my training ground for a lot of it. A few of the things I was mediocre at during the beginning of my stay in SF were: acting for the camera (I started in theatre so everything started too big), TelePrompTer, stunts for camera, and voiceover. When I first began each of these I sucked ass. I was horrible, but I kept working on each of them and became good. Some came easier than others, but I knew getting good was important because by the time I got back to LA I would need to be ready and prepared to work. My previous experience of LA was that the city and entertainment industry was a business and those who were actually working wanted to work with people who could work at their level and could contribute to efficiency and profitability. That means a mastery of job skills. Right now the skill I’m learning is moving to a new market. I’m in the early phases, and I’m failing (EPICALLY) at the moment, but I’m slowly learning how to master it. After I’ve mastered it, I’ll be ready to do the next step, which I believe, is to climb that ladder of success!

FAIL MORE TO CLIMB

Once we are able to build up durability and master our skills, we can then more effectively and efficiently climb the ladder of success. The ladder of success is often a difficult climb without strength, durability, grit, thorough skills, and developed talents. Usually, when ascending any kind of ladder, each step is more and more challenging; Requiring more evolved skills and responsibilities. But know that the more you fail, it’s very likely that you’ll be able to climb faster and easier.

CONCLUSION

Personally, I work hard, which means that I also fail hard. Every time that you see one of my successes, that often (but not always) means I’ve failed exponentially just to get there. In the past, I have failed many many times. I’ve failed at auditions, I’ve failed at tasks, and I’ve even failed at achievement. Currently, I’m failing in a major way in my transition into a new market. However, failure is a natural part of the equation for success. We often think that failures are the end all and be all of our endeavors. However, that mindset prevents us from gaining many of it’s benefits. Because, in fact, the sooner we can perceive and internalize the benefits of failure, the better. The more we fail, learn from our failures, and build up our durability to failures, the sooner we can climb the ladder of success. So I invite you all to look at failure through this lens. Change your conversation about it. Because it’s then, that you can watch failure work in your favor!

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remedialpotions · 7 years

Note

Screwing tumblr etiquette on your behalf. For the Fanfic End of Year Asks: 1-30 please. ☺☺☺

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

answered here

2. least favorite fic you wrote this year

Hmmm… Waiting. It has some cute moments but I’m decidedly meh about it.

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

I’m sure I’m forgetting something here, but I do like the scene at the end of Chapter 6 of Everything in Transit where they’re all hanging in the common room, and Hermione’s sort of marveling at what her life has become, and she and Ron are being all sweet and playful and for a second, everything’s okay. Shit hits the fan in the next chapter, sure, but I like that little moment.

4. total number of words you wrote this year

answered here

5. most popular fic this year

I’m not totally sure how to quantify this. EIT has the most reviews but it also has the most chapters… The “I Can’t Trust You” drabble was most successful on Tumblr, it has 150+ notes.

6. least popular fic this year

Again, I don’t know how to quantify this. I think one of my drabbles only got like 20 notes, lol so probably that one?

7. longest completed fic you wrote this year

answered here

8. shortest completed fic you wrote this year

Aside from drabbles of which I have written a LOT… In This Together is 1,151 words.

9. longest wip of the year

Everything In Transit. About 46k and counting…

10. shortest wip of the year

I’m sure it’s shamefully hiding in my Google docs. There are ones where I’ve literally written like a sentence and nothing else but I can’t bring myself to delete it even though I know it’s never going anywhere.

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

HP of course!

12. favorite character to write about this year

answered here

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

Varies but I pretty much compulsively listened to Ed Sheeran while writing all spring/summer so… probably him.

14. a fic you didn’t expect to write

Off-Kilter, it’s Hinny for goodness sake! (Although, Ron and Hermione make out a LOT in it…)

15. something you learned this year

answered here

16. fic(s) you completed this year

See this is a hard question because I don’t really count the drabbles. I suppose I’ve finished 15 fics not counting those.

17. fics you’ll continue next year

EIT of course! And at least one or two of my as-yet-unposted WIPs…

18. current number of wips

answered here

19. any new fics to start next year

I’ll probably start posting another multi-chapter once EIT is done…

20. number of comments you haven’t read

I read every single one. I read your tags. I READ IT ALL. Writers are so so thirsty for feedback, why would I not read a comment?

21. most memorable comment/review

answered here

22. events you participated in this year

Lots! Romione Quickie Fest (aww, throwback to when I’d never posted fic before!), Sinfully Romione, Fluff Fest, now Secret Santa!

23. fics you wanted to write but didn’t

Usually if there’s something I want to write, I at least start it even if it never goes anywhere.

24. favorite fic you read this year

How can I possibly choose? The Ron/Hermione community is too talented and lovely for me to play favorites.

25. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read

All those fests I mentioned in question 22… read those!

26. number of favorites/bookmarks you made this year

I am SO SO bad about doing this, because once you follow an author, you get notified of every update, but then I can’t keep track of what I’ve read and enjoyed. So it’s honestly only like 12, but that is no reflection of how many stories I’ve loved, which is tons.

27. favorite fanfic author of the year

Again, I cannot choose! I even started a list and then went “no, don’t, you’re going to forget someone” and it would make me very sad to do so, so… I love you all.

28. longest fic you read this year

answered here

29. shortest fic you read this year

Probably the one that @idearlylovealaugh wrote for the Sinfest called Downpour, short but oh so sweet.

30. favorite fandom to read fic from this year

HP, naturally.

Told you I’d do it! 😜

#fanfic asks

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kenrik · 7 years

Text

I ship Jonsa

I SHIP IT SO HARD. *in the universe HBO created, not the books*

And guess who I ship with Dany? ...THE IMP. TYRION LANNISTER.

Y? Because I live in my own world I guess.

SPOILERS ALERT Will be ranting about Jonsa, Jonerys, Danyrion, and the crapfest that is S7. *because my friends don’t get me and I need an outlet for my feels.*

*with regard to timeline um, don’t equate an episode for a day..... remember, a travel from King’s Landing to the North is a month. That’s why when Cersei went up to Winterfell in S1, she was so bitchy. HAHA*

1. Jonsa I think Sansa's character development and her current character makes the most sense. Out of everyone left from the Starks - she's the last true remaining Stark.

From the start of the series, she was the worst Stark ever. But, I have to say, the way HBO played with the characters, Sansa's development was the best. Arya morphed into a faceless man who should never have any more personal inclinations. Bran turned into the distanced and removed Three-Eyed Raven. And Jon, a man of the night's watch.

Sansa, granted everyone went through shit as well, really really changed for the better. She's become cunning, smarter. She knows her cards and how to deal it. She has a firmer grasp on her enemies and an greater understanding of her father's words - a more profound loyalty to being a Stark. I believe Sansa to be a capable and great ruler if given the opportunity.

<S7 rant> (This is where I find it petty, how HBO is handling things. Sibling rivalry against Arya and Sansa planted by Baelish? I find it so stupid and petty for the developments of these characters. I find the reunions in s7 to be loads of crap. Worst of all, an incredibly written character like Baelish, Tyrion - don't you find it odd that they have terrible dialogues now; that they're characters/motives seem off? This season makes it feel like all the characters have become one-dimensional, as if they've lost their depth. You have to admit - Tyrion from the earlier seasons is not the same Tyrion we're forced with now. This is why I say HBO has done some poor writing.) <S7 rant>

Sansa is fierce, strong, so far altered from the snotty, selfish girl she was when Ned first brought her to the capital. When she reunites with Jon, he - EVERYONE - saw this. *internally screaming*

For the longest time, Sansa has had no one to fully depend on. Her whole life, she had been treated as a beautiful princess only to have her childhood stolen from her by monsters. That the moment she sees Jon, the first family she's seen for ages, a great great incredible burden drops. To Sansa, this man would be the closest to the life she's once lived and so immaturely cast aside. Out of everything she's been through, it is only her family she'll be able to love, to give her heart to freely. Jon is her family and she is able to give her broken heart to him. (I say this because after all she's been through, she knows better than to believe in the fantasy called love. As she learned from Cersei, it is nothing in marriage. or sth idk. If anything, Sansa is ready to just hand herself to a marriage that she would need - out of necessity never for love. Her character doubts her falling in love is even possible.) (So even if I'm shipping Jonsa, I'm not saying Sansa is in love with Jon like a school girl. Sansa flatly loves Jon because he is family, the last person from her past who returned to her. Arya and Bran are no longer themselves. Jon, however, only developed and became a great leader, but he is still the same kind-hearted, courageous young man he was.)

Now, Jon.

First off, Jon doesn't understand love, attraction, whatever when he first met Ygritte. When he met her, he got it all in full. Especially the heartbreak. (I don't really ship them but I get it.)

This Jon we're meeting is the post-Ygritte Jon. In terms of love, I think he's satisfied, that he believes Ygritte is his one and only.

(Which is why - I, infinitely don't understand, HBO's spin. I definitely can tell it'll be Jonaerys. Because, popularly, it makes - well, popularly... I can't even form a sentence. Jonaerys cannot be because Dany is the sort who has a reverse-harem. She can't help it, everyone will and WILL fall in love with her. And Jon's no exception. But the question is - will Jon really love-love her? Attraction is different from love. The attraction Dany invites is devotion. Jon is not one who will leave the North to rule in the South or sth like this.)

So, you have a Ygritte still devoted Jon. Ygritte has red hair. Sansa... has red... hair. (LOL at the surface-level parallels). BUT, other than this, the Sansa Jon meets when he first arrives at Winterfell is not the kid he saw as the snobbish, narcissistic girl he's related to but the beaten, less-radiant woman who has a hand in politics and in war, who's been passed from man to man.

And he acknowledges this strength in her when he leaves Winterfell in her hands. The tenderness, the trust between them, something they both have never felt in a long time - is just indescribable. You also have the great scene when Sansa and Jon argue over how to handle Ramsey. Here, the great Jon Snow (the same person Ser Davos goes on and on about when introducing him to Dany - which is another crap filler thing) is given a beating, a wake-up call he so needed. (He got a number of those from Ygritte.)

I don't know but Jonsa makes my heart warm. It just makes sense to me. (If things were written as I get understand them. LOL.) Also, those many scenes in s6 were just too ship-able!

2. Jonerys I don't get. I get it - from a, sth pov. But, based on my understanding of the characters - no, I just don't get it. I don't understand where this love will come from.

These two are basically strangers.

Dany who fell in love with Drogo, fell in love with him after a buttload of time and effort (sacrifice). This was just beautiful. GOD SO BEAUTIFUL. How you could tell they loved each other so much just by looking at each other is beyond me! (you just could!)

Dany who 'fell in love' with the Secondsons guy, was never really in love with him. He was more like a good side dish, which said guy already admitted he didn't mind.

Dany, amid having the sweet, tender face of Emilia Clarke, ain't looking for a strong man to hold her at night in that way that's forever and love-love. (BUT DAMN. In holding onto Jon, as if she needs a security blanket EP 6 - JUST MAKES NO SENSE TO ME. Surrounded by loyal subjects (friends) who crossed the Narrow Sea with her - and yet she clings on to Jon, a stranger - I really don't get it.) (I mean, don't dare tell me it's the power of love - love is just a word. There is always a reason - A REASON - why you're attracted to another.) (You know, KenRik, love is love. You just fall in love sometimes with no explanation.)

NO.

HAHA.

Just, no.

It could be as deep as - we've gone through incredible shit together. Or as shallow as - I like his abs. There will always be a reason. And, granted the scenes we've had of Jonaerys - I refuse to believe it's because of some shallow reason. For the deeper ones, Dany has no reason to fall in love with Jon.

Jon, I totally understand falling for Dany in a shallow way. Because, Dany is incredible. It's impossible not to fall in love with her. Amid this, I will never want him to end up with Dany because that would be a love based on devotion. And Dany, she can never own Jon. Jon has a life to lead, people to rule, a realm to keep safe. Beside her, he's character will be diluted. Or Dany's. Someone's character will suffer.

Besides, politically - it would make more sense to have them rule separately.

Finally, I think I am not sold on Jonaerys - never will - because of the fact that these two have had great loves. Why would they be written into a relationship that is subpar, that is not incredible, that is forseeable and calculated? It's far too cliche and overused. It shatters the strong image of Dany. It shatters the independence of Jon.

Jon - who's had to build what he has now. Dany - who's made a name for herself.

With Jon - she'll be casted as inferior amid being queen because Jon is well - a man and that's just how it goes. (or vice-versa: With Dany, Jon'll be casted as inferior amid being ruler of the north because Dany is a queen with dragons)

I just see nothing but settling in this pair. :/

I was blindsided by this too.

3. Danyrion Tyrion - you just love that imp. You. Just. Do.

Sadly, no one in his universe does other than Jamie.

<S7 rant> (His character in S7 makes no sense to me. Poor writing I say! I don't understand his motivations. His movements. They are giving us shit zero about our beloved imp. And I bet Peter is not happy with this as well. So far, he is shown as sullen and a poor tactitian. Which - should - not - be - the - case - unless - they - show - us - why.)

I get that he's still sad after all that's happened. And now, he's fighting against his family. BUT DAMN. S6 Tyrion and S7 Tyrion is so different!!

And don't tell me Cersei's people are just that good. :/ They are so not. Well, not supposably.

And, god, how many times do they have to call on Dany to save everyone's asses. Do they all suck that much? Man, do I pity Dany.<s7 rant>

When Dany and Tyrion first meet, Dany is amused by Tyrion's dark humor and cunning mind. His speech, he's just really incredible. (Well, until his character was destroyed.) Tyrion, as does everyone, (and one of the reasons why I think it's just hilarious) falls in love with Dany but doesn't know it.

He's devoted to her, chose to serve her as his queen. But, I think he could very well fall in love with her. I think he has fallen in love with her but he just doesn't know it. He doesn't trust himself on the topic. He closed his heart after all the horrid failures. But when he does wake up from his complex, he'll find that he's in love with Dany - this beast of a woman who will never fall in love with him, who he doesn't deserve (as all women), who will barely spare him a moment's glance. (after all the failures he brought to her doorstep.)

Remember how I said that the love Dany inspires is devotion - Tyrion is very able to do this. Under this pair, he'll return to King's Landing as a rightful ruler - the same he was supposed to be for countless times.

<s7 rant> MY GREAT QUESTION with Tyrion's constant failures, with his questionable dialogue and judgment - is WHERE IS ALL THIS COMING FROM? Because the fight is too much for him to handle? Because he's still depressed? Because he's fighting against his family?

WELL. UM. He's been that way all his life????

BUT prior to S7. (SERIOUSLY, JUST S7) - He's managed somehow. He wasn't pitiful. I mean - just seeing him onscreen is painful to watch. The way Dany treats him - with zero trust/respect. WHAT THE FUCK. WHERE IS OUR TYRION WHO GAVE US THAT EPIC/A MILLION EPIC SPEECHES?

SEE WHY I KEEP SAYING IT'S BAD WRITING? Because - all this are fine - if written properly. But instead we are shoved with stupid fucking FUCKING FILLERS that do nothing NOTHING for us. Why did we have to see Missandei and Grey Worm's sex scene??? WHEN HAHAHA FUCK they are not characters we care for. They are not integral to the movement of the storyline. GOD WHY. WHY DID WE GET A MILLION MINUTES OF “BEND THE KNEE” BEND THE KNEE. GOD I’LL FUCKING BREAK YOUR KNEE.

Why did we have episode 5??? WHY.

Why did the Stark's reunions (Arya and Bran's) SUCK SO BAD. I MEAN. FOR SO LONG SO SO SO LONG. They've been separated. But - we get this reunion. So so so so so so so so unnecessary and anticlimatic. Um, I declare them fillers. So many scenes of unnecessary-ness. GOD I CAN'T EVEN. And Arya and Sansa's possible feud - WTF. I mean, I thought Sansa knew how Baelish worked? DAMMIT. I don't get anything AT ALL.

ALSO THAT STUPID SUICIDE MISSION IS JUST SO STUPID. I CANNOT EVEN. I bet George just said - oh, find a way for the white walkers to get a dragon ^^, - and the writers were like: OK...

GOD.

I should make another post just to rant about S7. WHAT THE FUCK WAS ALL THE HYPE FOR DAMN- IT. <s7 rant>

Anyway, I digress.

Tyrion falling in love with Dany, is so funny for me because yet again, he'll believe it to be another dead end. Another fruitless thing. But this small man is a man who LOVES. He's never been loved. BUT DAMN DOES HE HAVE SO MUCH LOVE TO GIVE. (My, reminds me of my other ship :o)

Dany, (Which is why I want Tyrion written better :() it's so cute so different so awesome if she were to fall in love with a (stronger, smarter, better-written Tyrion). I mean, he's a total contrast to the men she's used to. HAHA. Both his physique and mind. Dany is the type of woman who'll have men in and out of her life. But I see Tyrion as a possible exchange for Jorah. I can see Dany and Tyrion's relationship developing over a long time of friendship, building intimacy and dependence/trust/respect/ and LOVE.

Tyrion's greatest flaw is accepting every little love bestowed upon him as if it means the world. With Dany, he will expect nothing and be satisfied with making her rule a successful one.

<s7 rant> Honestly, before s7, I thought Tyrion would be Dany's greatest asset, greatest adviser. I knew there would be troubles, but they wouldn't come because of poor strategy. I knew there would be internal arguments, but they would come because of questionable character writing. I thought these characters were fully developed (or closed to it) by the time they reach the great war. But, why do their characters make no sense? Why are they all written so poorly? Like a fantasy movie worse than a parody?

I ship Tyrion and Dany but I cannot expound by way of S7.

I can't actually explain anything s7 related.

I just don't get s7.

I think it's all bullshit.

You know it’s bullshit when Dany gives zero fucks that she lost a child and all fucks towards Jon Snow. EPISODE 6 WTF???? Seriously - WHAT WAS THAT EVEN. <s7 rant>

To reiterate, I do not care what ship becomes canon. I JUST WANT THEM TO MAKE GOT HIGH CHARACTER STANDARDS LEVEL. All we’re getting is crap now. And if you don’t mind - well, lucky you. I got into GOT because of the engaging characters. You’ve seen so many shows with throne-stealing, incest, sex, dragons - but never one this good. Oh well, I guess it’ll be just the books for me.

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