#LOOK I KNOW IM READING TOO MUCH INTO THINGS AND COMPLICATING SOMETHING THAT IT'S PROBABLY WAY MORE SIMPLE

[stormyoceans]

hi Monica! is it okay to ask for an little more (maybe indepth) explaining on how puentalay and tesstun switch back to the og universes? So tun dreamt of place and the location ended up been in his film site the next day. So did puen dream too or was their respective switch happen due to tun. And we saw that talay say he dreamt of a place as soon as he wake up but it wasn't some place near by or easy to to reach. Does this have some symbolism or meaning and do u think tess also dreamed the same night too. So did the switch happen cuz of talay and tun

hello, dear anon!!!!

of course that’s okay!!!! as a general rule, please feel free to ask me anything, im always up to help if i can or even just to chat a little!!! tho it might take me a while to reply, as you can see ;;;;;;;

before getting into this, however, i think i should point out that the show doesn't really give a full in depth  explanation on how the switching back to the original universe works (probably because the novel itself does not give much of an explanation either), and while i do think the show tried to make sense of it by giving us a few more hints to help us connect the dots (which is one of the many reasons why i think the show is far more superior than the novel btw), the truth is that a lot of it is still up to interpretation. so what i can do is give you my own personal view on the matter, which doesn't necessarily mean it's the right one. im aware i tend to read too much into things and that maybe i've come up with an explanation that it's more complicated than it actually is, but im still gonna try to illustrate it as best as i can and let you decide if it works or not!!!!!

SO. right from episode 1, dol and joob introduce us to the two main rules that are known about traveling back to your universe, which are:

"to return to the old universe, you must first find someone who has traveled between universes like us. there will be something of that person that matches you. once you find that person, you will dream.”

“it will be a place. when you dream about a place, you must go there as soon as you wake up. there's a chance for you to return home."

if we go by these, things seem to be fairly straightforward: talay met puen, he eventually dreamed about the secret island, he went there, he switched back; tun met tess, he eventually dreamed about the pool where they were filming a movie in, he went there, he switched back. simple, right?

however, the more you look at it, the more i think it’s natural to come up with a whole lot of questions like if you dream after you find your portkey, why didn't puen and talay dream right away? did they have to reach a certain level of connection to 'unlock' the ability of being each other's portkey? but then what caused talay and tun to finally dream? did puen and tess dream too? and if talay/puen and tess/tun are portkeys, why didn’t they switch together?

as i said before, all these questions remain unanswered in the novel, but the show adds a layer to the universal travelling that i personally think it helps explain a lot. in episode 6, joob says  

"i do believe universal traveling happens for a reason. maybe it's a lesson for us to learn something we're missing."

this idea is brought up again by talay at the end of episode 12, when during his voice over he says

"p'joobjang once told us we travel between universes to learn something. for me, i learned about love."

if we look at universal traveling under this point of view, i think a lot of things start to make more sense, and we can also answer a few of the questions we previously had. after you die, you travel between universes because you need to learn a lesson. for puen, it was about accepting himself and the life he was given. for talay, it was about love. only once you've learned your lesson you're gonna switch back. in this scenario, your portkey isn't what 'unlocks' your ability to go home, but rather it's the person that can help you learn said lesson. and if we look at it this way, puen and talay WANTING and CHOOSING to be each other's portkeys gets a whole new meaning too: puen loves talay, talay accepts puen for who he really is, and by wanting and choosing each other they also accept the lesson they were supposed to learn

here's when things get a little bit messy (and i probably read too much into things ;;;;;;). so you have to learn a lesson. but to go back to your original universe we know you also have to dream about a place and go there. so you learn your lesson, and once you do you finally dream about a place, you go there, you switch back. following these rules, it indeed seems like the switch has been due to talay and tun since they're the ones who dreamed, even if you don't know what tun's lesson was. i definitely think this is perfectly reasonable, and we could stop here and call it a day, however to me it's not so simple, mainly for two reasons: 1) the switch between puen and tun literally happens at the peak of puen's character development, once he's fully learned his lesson and shows it by finally being ready to tell talay his name, so it's hard for me to see it as a simple coincidence, and 2) maybe it's gonna sound harsh, but to simply put it, this is not tun's (and tess') story, it's puen's (and talay's), so on a narrative point of view it's just weird to have someone else be responsible for the switch

so here's what i think (hopefully i can explain it in a way that make sense ;;;;;;): usually, when you're taught a lesson, you will also have to take a test to show that you've really learned it. puen's test is to face his worst nightmare: being back in his original universe with no one waiting for him. talay's test is to be willing to give up everything for love: losing time and energy by having to wait day after day for the tide to get lower. and while i do think dreaming and going to a certain place is necessary to switch back after learning your lesson, the reason i think puen didn't dream is because that would have defeated the point of his test (if he had dreamed he would have known he was gonna go back and he could have prepared himself for it), so tun dreamed (and went to the designated place) for him

im aware it's a reach, but it makes sense to me, especially because of the place tun dreamed of: a pool. this is already long as hell so im not gonna into it as much as i could, but let's just say that in vice versa water is a recurring theme that carries a lot of different meanings. one of those is that it represents puen and talay's relationship as a whole (in episode 7, the tide at the secret island is low because they haven't cleared up their feelings for each other yet; in episode 9, the tide is getting higher because they confessed to each other but there are still things left unsaid; in episode 11, the tide is at its highest point because puen and talay fully love each other with no secrets left between them [and talay has to dive in the ocean, in their love, to get to the secret island and be able to go back]). but water also represents talay and puen separately, with natural bodies of water being related to talay and artificial man-made ones (like a swimming pool) to puen

ANYWAY. there are still some holes in this theory and there's so much more that i could say about it, especially about the water symbolism and how i personally think 'the Universe' is a sort of sentient force in vice versa, but we would be here for ages so im just gonna shut up. if you, anon, or anyone else, even got to this point after reading though this mess you honestly deserve a prize ;;;;;; (i can offer cookies and all my love?)

but yeah, i hope this was at least interesting, if not coherent, and i'll let you decide if this is a somewhat reasonable explanation that could actually make sense!!!!!!

[thot4ellie]

oh sweetheart pt. 2.5

pairing: boxer!ellie x f! jesses sister!reader

word count: 1.2k

rating: 18+ (smut will be coming in later parts)

warnings: dealer! boxer!ellie, weed, alcohol,

summary: ellie gets your phone number.

author notes: hi just something small for a filler, setting up for the next part, hoping to have it posted up friday the 1st! thank you for reading! pls reblog, comment, or like! i love the support, and thank you for over 1000 likes and 100 followers!! it’s a great feeling

italic = ellie and bold = reader

part 2.5 | part 3

series masterlist <3

from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸

READ: this account stands with palestine, and so— i require everyone who interacts to educate themselves, and support/donate. READ THESE; 1 and 2, HELP HERE, BOYCOTT. silence is complicity, do not scroll past this.

DO NOT BUY THE REMASTER, TLOU2, TLOU1, OR ANY GAME FROM NAUGHTY DOG! neil druckmann (the creator) is a zionist. PLEASE READ THIS. AND REBLOG THIS.

its been a week and a half since you last saw her when she drove you home from the match in her old busted truck. thoughts of her plagued your mind all week. you wondered if she was working. you wondered if she was out with friends. you wondered if she was thinking about you. she is but you don’t know that. you’re not aware she’s thinking of you also. thinking of the way the smell of strawberries stained her car after you left. thinking of the way you said you like it when she calls you sweetheart.

both of you wonder when the next time you’ll see each other is.

its a wednesday afternoon, you’re currently sitting on the couch with dina. she’s the only friend you have down here so far and its not weird that she’s dating your brother. she has come over a bunch, helping you shop, getting little things for your apartment, watching movies and of course, getting high. which is exactly what you’re doing right now. you both sat on your old lumpy couch and watched the iron man series that you had on dvd, not paying to much attention to the tv, but rather your conversion.

“so no luck still? you should just come work with me at the farm, i mean i love it- the horse shit not so much.” dina exclaimed.

“yeah its like no one is hiring, i may have to take you up on that, i still wanna keep looking though, maybe something will come along.” you told her.

“yeah avoid horse shit as long as you can, something will come along don’t worry!” she said trying to make you feel better knowing you’re stressed. but at the end of the day, you need something to fill your time besides thinking of the boxer that drove you home.

you guys just sat and talked then eventually as the credits rolled for the last movie, you got up and started to clean up the mess from the pizza you ordered earlier. after you went to the kitchen and put the plates in the sink, you grabbed the bottle of wine and two glasses and made your way back to dina still in the living room. you hold it up to her and with the look on her face, you knew she was thinking the same thing.

by the third bottle, it was 10pm and you’ve run out of weed and not much wine left but you both are feeling great, laughing and giggling like kids. its nice to have a friend you thought.

“what are you doing friday night?” she questioned.

you responded to her, “probably exactly what im doing right now” you both laughed.

“well there’s another match this weekend, me and jesse are going if you want to come along again, ellie will be there too.” she replied. you couldn’t hide the smile on your face when she said her name.

“woah! what’s with the smiling and the blushing…” she joked asking. you didn’t tell either of them what happened that night at the first match. from outside or inside, they assumed you both got an uber and you didn’t tell them any differently.

“nothing, i just thought she was nice thats all.” you said trying not make any signs of anything more.

“oh she is!,” dina started, “well maybe not at first but once you get to know her, we’ve been friends for years now,” she laughed and kept going, “she fights at the gym sometimes, but she works there too, its a good hang out space plus cheap drinks. plus she’s bringing us the restock.” she finished as she picked up her weed jar.

“oh you get it from her?” you inquired, thinking back to the faint smell of weed in her car when she drove you home.

“yeah she’s got good stuff and nice deals, ugh its great, always easier to get it from someone you know,” she ended. you thought about asking her if you could tell her to get you some to and for some other non-obvious reason but she beat you to it.

“ill send her your number and she’ll text you.” she said to you as she pulled out her phone and sent a message. a few moments later, her phone rang and she answered, it was jesse waiting outside for her so she gave you a hug and grabbed her stuff and you walked her to the door.

you locked it before you turned around to sit back down on the couch, grabbed the wine glass and poured the last bit in your cup, you were still drunk and definitely feeling it. you heard your phone buzz and you picked it up, answering the call, not paying attention, thinking it was dina but the voice surprised you.

hey sweetheart

you didn’t expect her to call so soon, you haven’t even given yourself a moment to think about what to say beforehand. you weren’t prepared for this. you feel yourself getting nervous over the girl you only met last week but you just cant help it. she’s been on your mind since you met her.

hi ellie

dina sent me your number i hope that’s okay

yes she said she was going to

well in that case, she said you needed to buy

yeah we managed to smoke up all her stash and i haven’t gotten any since i moved here, probably cause i didn’t know where to get it

well no worries, i’ve got everything you need sweetheart.

thank you ellie, you said smiling but she couldn’t see you through the phone, you wondered what she’d think if she saw how red your face was right now.

you can call me el sweetheart, no need to be so formal.

she laughed through the phone, and then asked if you were coming to the gym on friday with your brother and dina.

they invited me but i hadn’t thought about it yet, not wanting to sound too eager about the potential thought of seeing her on friday.

mhm- well you should, we’re just gonna have some drinks and chill so nothing crazy. but i will have the weed for you then if that peaks your interest.

bribing me with drugs?, you laugh into the phone and she laughs with you.

if that’s how you want to put it sweetheart, sure

you smiled into the phone, not even sure how to respond to that before becoming flustered, before you continued,

i guess we’ll just have to wait and see then…

yeah i guess we will… goodnight sweetheart.

that was the last thing she said before she hung up and you sat staring back at a black screen. thinking that now she has your number and you have hers.

it’s almost 11 now as you brush your teeth, throw on a t shirt and cuddle up in bed. falling asleep to the thoughts of how friday was going to go when you finally saw her again.

[okartichoke]

ace avian. that’s what we’re calling this 🗣️🗣️🗣️

please let me know if you have any thoughts or suggestions or input or anything! i’m happy to bounce ideas around (i'll post DL-6 someday soon i swear)

shoutout to the anon who sent in that ask bc i seriously fell in love with blue jay phoenix. SHOUTOUT TO TAKAHE PHOENIX TOO THO takahe phoenix, you will forever be in my heart and im glad you existed <3333,, (maybe in this au he’s got some loving adoptive takahe parents :3) (YKNOW WHAT YEAH that’s canon now)

but yeah, flight-avoidant jay phoenix still lends itself well to the common-man hardworking underdog vibe i want from him. speaking of flight-avoidant...

Phoenix's relationship with flying:

It's a bit complicated. Basically, Phoenix can fly, but he historically chooses not to. From the lack of any practice, he's an INCREDIBLY weak flier. (That hovering is really all he can manage)

For one, he's still afraid of heights. Can't help that. This fear means he was less inclined to practice flying, which made him a weaker flier. And being a weaker flier, in turn, made his fear of heights worse. And so on, in a loop. With flightless parents too (it's canon now it's canon), there's even less of a reason to learn to fly. At some point, not flying might've even become something he stuck with out of stubbornness lol, knowing Phoenix.

(I will soon be making a couple small world building posts, but) flying isn't necessary to get around in their society. Convenient, sure, but Phoenix realized he could make do without, and so he did. Phoenix, you icon. Slay. 💅💅

i know this probably isn't the popular take with wing AUs??, but Phoenix being flightless (or at least semi-flightless) sounded like a really fun take on the idea to me. His name is irony at its peak. I also look forward to exploring how other characters react to him not flying. The prosecutors are going to have so many cheap insult opportunities.

As I mentioned though, he still uses his wings a LOT, though. He's much more emotive with them than most people. His sarcastic inner-dialogue remarks are also betrayed by his wings lmao

I also imagine bird-folk never really invented bikes (riding would just be annoying with their wings, plus bikes aren't fast/efficient enough to outweigh just flying), so instead, Phoenix gets around on a little wing-powered scooter device (like scootaloo lol) (they're usually made for children who can't fly yet, but Phoenix still uses one)

finally, wow, stellar jay’s are quite literally just phoenix wright as a bird lmao? color scheme, hair, it’s uncanny. give it a pink tie and it just is Phoenix Wright, i used a blue jay since they’ve got a bit more striking wings but wow.

(ty again for the support and for reading my essay ! :3)

one more thing, but @kora-kat YES YES YES this. ^^^^ omg THIS. this is still true even though he's a jay now.

[henrioo]

°•*⁀➷ MINE TO SHARE: SHANKS (+???)

꒰ SYNOPSIS ꒱ : "You were Shanks's the moment he laid his eyes on you. But sometimes he needs to remind you that you being his means he can do whatever he wants with you."

꒰ WARNINGS ꒱ : AMAB! READER, CIS MALE! READER, MALE READER! SMUT! MLM, HOMO SEX (I laugh at this) GAY SEX (laugh again), DUB-CON, NON-CONSENSUAL EXHIBITIONISM (Shanks shows the reader sexy photos without him knowing, the reader is watched during sex without being asked) in this story the reader LIKES all the things that are did with him, even the exhibitionism, if you have any trauma or trigger with that don't read. ASSHOLE BOSS (NOT SHANKS) just a mention of a former idiotic boss, hidden romantic relationships, unlabeled relationship, relationship between boss and employee

꒰ CONTAINS ꒱ : Shanks is mean and soft at the same time but probably more mean, Benn and all of Shanks' friends know you two are fucking, you might want to fuck his friends too, office sex, risk of getting caught, getting caught, makeshift handcuffs and a lot of dirty talk.

꒰ WC ꒱ : 2,3k

꒰ NOTES ꒱ : lol o only notice how much warnings I always put, I just want to put everything that can make someone uncomfortable because I hate read a fic when they don't put warning in something and that's get me triggered. Okay so, PLEASE IF YOU ARE A WOMEN DON'T REALLY READ THIS, IT'S NOT ONLY INTERACT DON'T READ, IF I SEE ANY FEM BLOG IN THIS STORY I GONNA BLOCK YOU AND IM SERIOUS

You didn't remember exactly how you got there. Sitting on your boss's lap with his dick so deep in your ass you could feel it reaching your throat. Shanks' hands grabbed your ass hard, squeezing and slapping so hard that made you jump in fright. He used all his strength and the advantage of his size to guide you bouncing on his huge cock, your legs were already wobbly and shaking so all you could do was accept him using you like a toy and fucking you nonstop.

Every time Shanks fucked you he had a different rhythm, which was always decided by his mood that day. Today you weren't sure what the redhead's mood was, but he fucked you with deep and strong thrusts that made you roll your eyes and tremble with each blow, he hit your prostate so accurately and filled your insides so perfectly that you genuinely wondered how you was able to cumming with other partners before Shanks. It seemed impossible for someone to be able to give you pleasure like him.

Of course you were also a mess, thanks to that, you had your head thrown back moaning his name or resting on his shoulder or forehead, moaning breathlessly and begging softly for more. Your hands were dug into his shoulder, scratching so hard that even without big nails you knew there would be marks left for a few days, your head was already hurting and there was a little drool running down the corner of your lips... You looked pathetic, but in the end you liked being humiliated and Shanks liked humiliating you, it was the perfect combination.

You had only entered Shanks' office to give him some reports for the week, he was in his chair with his back to the door facing the huge glass wall that gave him a view of the entire city, advantages of being extremely rich and being able to work on the highest floor of one of the tallest buildings in the city. He was strangely silent and all he asked of you was to come over and deliver the reports... Of course, most of his visits to Shanks' office didn't just end with a conversation between boss and employee.

The truth is that your relationship with the redhead has always been… complicated. It all started when you saw him in person for the first time at a meeting between several city executives disguised as a gala party, at that time you were just an apprentice following your boss and his main secretary like a scared puppy. Your boss was terrible and liked to torture all his employees with the excuse of being an iron training that only the best went through, but he hid this from the spotlight and loved to brag as a boss that no job would leave, taking pride in his loyalty of each of its employees.

Shanks, as always, was a brat at these parties, his social reputation was one of the worst but everyone pretended not to know given how incredible his business empire was, even though he was known for scandals and even visits to countless police stations, the redhead was treated like an angel by everyone the other businessmen who pretended not to know anything about his antics. For some reason you caught his attention, throughout the party where you basically served as a personal waiter for your boss, you felt Shanks staring at you with a predatory gaze ready to grab his prey and run away.

You were still very insecure at that time, you had just left college and your career wasn't going exactly as you planned, maybe that's why you avoided his gaze so much at the beginning. When your boss and Shanks finally spoke, the redhead made no attempt to hide that he was paying attention solely to you and not the ugly old man who was desperate for a business deal. This obviously infuriated his boss who spilled wine on his clothes claiming to have been an oversight. When you kindly excused yourself to go to the bathroom to resolve the situation your boss's secretary simply whispered that you didn't need to go back to the party, when you looked at him confused he just rolled his eyes and said gruffly “you're out”.

This made you swallow deeply and run to the bathroom, you already had a terrible job even if it was in a renowned place and now you had been fired for attracting the attention of a billionaire who you never even dreamed of being in the same room with?! All you could do was rub your wine-stained shirt as you cried and cursed to the tenth generation of your stupid boss and anyone who worked for him. While you were lost in your own world you were unable to notice Shanks entering the bathroom and looking at you with concern.

That night many things happened, you were fired, humiliated, you received a job offer from Shanks who had one of the most successful industries in the country and you also received a small hope that your professional future could work out. The months went by and at some point you and Shanks were already in this arrangement, you weren't even close to being boyfriends, even though he had never had another partner and even though he had never forbidden you from having one, he hated seeing you with anyone else other than him. Your friends joked that Shanks was your sugar daddy since he always gave you money and gifts, but since he never asked for anything in return, not even sex, it didn't seem like the label for you either.

You were something, besides of course friends, but you weren't very determined to find out. You were afraid of falling in love only to find out that Shanks only saw you as a fuck buddy or worse, finding out that Shanks was in love and you only saw him as a fuck buddy! You had sleepless nights thinking about it but little by little you simply gave up making everything difficult. You loved fucking Shanks and Shanks loved fucking you, there was no reason to try to put feelings in or out of this arrangement, as long as it worked for both of you then it was perfect.

Shanks continued fucking you while you faced the office door with your head resting on his shoulder, you lowered your claws to his arm and continued holding him as if you were going to die without his support. He whispered praises and curses every time you leaned into his lap and made his cock all the way inside you, your own cock was twitching on your stomach, your pants were thrown somewhere and your white shirt was open so at least you wouldn't get your clothes dirty. You needed to come so badly, but Shanks' slow pace didn't give you enough stimulation, if he just let you masturbate you could have gotten there, but he liked torturing you.

“Shanks! Please! I! Oh! Shit!" You moaned choppy, disjointed words as you tried to increase your speed, but Shanks' strong hands kept you right where he wanted you.

“Huh? I didn't hear you boy, say it again” He said breathlessly and gave a light bite to your exposed neck “Say how you want my dick to make you see stars, say how you want to be my good boy and cum so much you'll get dirty both of us, tell me” the redhead’s dirty talk always made your belly twitch and your dick leak more, you were losing control and he was loving taking advantage of it.

“Oh! Shanks! Please! I need… Fuck! Faster!" You moaned louder as you felt him slowly increasing his speed, you were ready to beg again when you heard some knocks on the door and Shanks' electronic warning ringing, alerting you that there was someone at the door wanting a meeting with him. “S-Shanks! Stop! There is somebody!"

You tried to get off of him and give him a few pats so he would get the hint and at least he would give you the chance to hide in the bathroom instead of getting caught by someone while fucking your boss. But Shanks didn't seem to care, he quickly turned the chair, turning towards the door and leaving you facing the glass wall, and instead of slowing down or even letting you go, he simply gave your ass a hard slap as he started thrusting into you like the world was ending. He was moving in and out so fast that you became unable to speak, only letting out desperate screams and moans at the sudden increase in stimulation.

“Shit… Don’t squeeze me so much boy… Come in! Come in quickly Benn, I'm kinda busy” He shouted the last part and you tried again to fight Shanks, only to receive an annoyed growl from him as he took off his own tie and used it to tie your wrists behind your back in a clumsy and quick way, but still firm enough for you to be unable to escape. “Stop running away you brat! You came here to get fucked in my office and now you don’t want anyone to see you?” He smiled mischievously when he saw your embarrassed face and the tears of humiliation that were about to fall.

"Stop!" You sniffled at him and hid your face in his neck, you heard the door opening and you knew that soon Benn, the vice CEO and someone who had as much power as Shanks, would be able to see you bouncing on the redhead's dick like a real whore.

"To stop? But I feel you clenching around my cock…” he chuckled at you and stroked your back gently “You're acting like you hate this… But I see how you look at my men, you perverted boy, I'm sure you'd love it getting fucked by all of us at the same time, right? After all, all that’s going on in that stupid little head of yours is being filled with cock in all your holes, right?” He laughed teasingly and when you just whimpered without responding he finally seemed to get angry, so he grabbed your penis tightly, squeezing its sensitive head. “I asked a fucking question.”

You just screamed, feeling the ecstasy overwhelm you to the point where your vision went black and you felt your whole body go limp, you had just cum in Shanks' hand just from his dirty words and tight grip on his sensitive and neglected dick. You fell against him crying and panting, your dick trembled as it continued to leak some more cum, Shanks simply laughed and stopped fucking you, letting you calm down slowly.

“Did you see that Benn? He simply came when I accused him of wanting to be fucked by all of us” Shanks laughed at that as if it were a joke and you almost forgot that the other man had entered the room, but now you could smell his cigarette and his malicious laugh.

“S-Shanks…” you begged whimpering as you tried to hide against his body, you had no idea what you were asking for, but it was clear that Shanks always knew you and your body much better than you knew yourself.

“Hmmm… I would even let it go this time, but you hid this beautiful spectacle of you cumming, didn’t you feel sorry for Benn? He came here and missed the entire show…” he said a little more gently as he rubbed his nose against your hair “Now I can’t just let you go and leave my friend empty handed… Besides, you didn’t even make me cum… No, No, you were really a bad boy…”

You no longer had the strength to argue or fight against the redhead, he quickly grabbed you and turned you around to face Benn. Now you were a complete and pathetic exposure, Shanks' cock was still thrusting deep into you, your own cock was a little soft, already extremely tired after having an intense orgasm, your abdomen was dirty with your cum and your entire body was dripping with sweat. You had a tired and cloudy look, a face that was drunk but kept begging for more and more.

Shanks smiled and grabbed your face with his hand, squeezing your cheek as he whispered in your ear “Open that mouth wide and stick your tongue out my boy… Give them a good look” you did as he said as he was squeezing her cheeks and forcing your mouth open. You hadn't understood what he was planning, your head too tired and confused to try and guess the man's plans.

It was only when you heard the click and flash of your cell phone that you realized, Benn was in front of you with his own cell phone and had just taken a picture of you practically naked being fucked on your boss's lap. The damage and scandals that a photo like that could cause made you feel sick, but luckily Benn's mischievous smile and his hard penis over his dress pants indicated that his goal wasn't to destroy your life.

“How was it?” Shanks asked the gray-haired man playfully.

“Perfect, you weren't lying when you said that his face when he cum was perfect… Huh, Hongo is going to love this…” He quickly placed his cell phone on Shanks' desk and approached you.

“Now… My brat” Shanks kissed your cheek and smiled against you making your whole body shiver “Why don’t I show you that you belong to me completely to the point where I can do whatever I want with you?” He offered with a smile, “And by ‘whatever you want’ I obviously mean sharing… After all, you’re a good pet and you’re not going to let Benn go so hard, are you?”

You didn't need to answer for the two older men to start smiling, everyone knew you never refused an order from Shanks.

[esmedelacroix]

10 days til' Christmas

figureskater!reader and hockeyplayer!gojo satoru's complicated relationship ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

cw: miscommunication trope(Im sorry i know its annoying but like just read)

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Blue robin eggs, the sky, ice, oceans, jeans, pools, Uranus, smithsonite, opal, moonstones, and waterfalls. A list of all the things that are blue that could never do me any harm. But his eyes, they captivate they attract then they destroy and demolish.

On multiple occasions, I have been called the best figure skater of my time. I have broken records in multiple countries for the most turns, the first triple axel landed, first this and that. It felt good. Hell, it felt great.

But the truth is, I am a nervous wreck. Spinning is my specialty I do it so well and no one knows how. They say it seems like I never get dizzy.

But there is one thing I need that is always there to help me do what I do. Any dancer knows that the key to a good round of spins is a spot. Something you can focus on and keep looking at repeatedly so that you don't get dizzy.

When I spin I look for blue. Calming and beautiful but harsh and unpredictable. I look for him. Those eyes scream at me for attention. I turn so well because when I look away, my body forces me to look right back. But I could never tell him that. He hates me.

. . .

I'm the best hockey player because I practice more than the average player. I am the best because I worked too hard not to be. It is not an opinion it is fact. Most coaches will tell you that teamwork is key and I agree 100%. But, they lie when they say one singular person can't beat a full team of players because I can. That's—how good I am.

I stopped playing hockey because I loved it, years ago. I probably fell out of love with the sport when I was like 13. Now I play hockey because I love someone.

She's always there. Before I hit the ice she's out there destroying it while looking the most beautiful. We hockey players always complain about the figure skaters ruining our ice before we practice but truthfully I don't mind that she's the one ruining it. I wouldn't even mind if she ruined me.

She's already done a lot of damage to me, why not just finish me off and kill all my hopes of ever being in love again. I don't have to be in the rink two hours before practice and go over 'game strategies' when I'm really watching her skate. But I do it anyway because she has a way of pulling me in and then pushing me out. I love it.

I love her. I love seeing her. I love every second I'm in the same rink as her. I love how my mind plays games with me and tricks me into thinking that when she spins she looking straight into my eyes. Because I would rather think that than think about how much she hates me.

. . .

"Darling, you won't know if you don't try," your mom urged.

You let out a long sigh and just got into the car. Your mom was a figure skater on her way to stardom before she tore her ACL and could never compete again.

Anyone who didn't know you and your mom's relationship would assume she was trying to live vicariously through you. Truthfully she was against you doing figure skating, after you decided you wanted to follow in her footsteps and figure skate as well.

You had watched a recording of her last competition. She did pair skating and she was in a last-leg competition to compete for Team USA in the Olympics. When she did her throw triple axel it looked beautiful in the air and the landing was swift. But she started making pained faces and soon enough she fell and couldn’t move her leg.

She had attempted to skate through an injury to her ACL and in the 30 seconds she skated after tearing it, she did irreversible damage to her leg. She was used to performing through pain but she said she had never felt such pain in her whole life. That's what made you want to start skating. The fact that your mother was so devoted to her sport that she could skate through one of the most painful injuries. That sparked your interest, you believed skating could make you strong. And it did but it also made you love.

You were hesitant to go to the figure skating lessons that you begged your parents to take you to because you were nervous. You loved to skate but you couldn't shake the feeling of prying eyes on you when you spun.

Since you were six years old you would go to the rink an hour earlier and practice until you got it right. The hockey boys usually had their practices after yours. So they waited to practice while watching you skate.

You had private lessons ever since you started making a multitude of qualifiers when you were in middle school. So, some of the hockey boys would be going over their game plans while you skated alone and some would just watch.

They didn't like you. Or one of them especially didn't like you. Gojo Satoru. Only the hottest guy in junior year. You had made enemies with him when the two of you were a lot younger. It didn't help that your parents were the best of friends and thought the two of you were close.

Every day you prayed the incident was just a dream and you were going to wake up and go to practice and maybe bump into Gojo and meet him again for the first time under better circumstances.

. . .

You were extremely late for your lessons. You had gone from your middle school promotional courses to tutoring then straight to the rink, no rest. You were running on three hours of sleep as a 13-year-old. As you sprinted down the halls nothing was on your mind but how you were about to apologize to your trainers. The boy's hockey team had a game on the main rink so you had to go to a side rink.

Without looking where you were going immediately slide out to ice. You were deaf and blind to the screaming boys and crowd and the lights shone in your eyes as a member of the opposing team was skating at you with the puck in his possession at full speed.

Wrong rink, wrong time, wrong position. You begged the ice to swallow you and consume you. Your legs were stone and your mind was cluttered. All you could hear was Gojo pleading for you to move out of the way so you wouldn't get hurt while racing towards you.

. . .

The drive to the rink was silent as you let thoughts of how you would possibly make it through practice today run wild. He would be there watching you with those eyes of his.

He had been away for a week at a tournament and you weren't taking it very well. His absence was kryptonite to your performance.

When the blades of your shoes hit the frigid ice you felt his eyes on you. In that moment your body burned like a furnace. No matter how cold his eyes were they had a way of setting you on fire.

The smell of dirty hockey equipment invaded your nose then all your senses. You took position and as your music started you allowed it to carry you across the ice. Once it was time for you to turn you hit every. Single. One. Your spot was blue. Your spot was him. It was good he was back.

Once your piece ended you received some applause from your coaches and some of the hockey boys. All the praise was worth nothing because you could have sworn he was watching you. So when you looked at him to see his arms crossed and gaze directed somewhere else, your heart sunk a little. He was completely unbothered by you, and you hated it.

. . .

I was afraid that if I looked at her after her beautiful performance I might’ve cried. She made her new choreography look unreal. I hadn't seen her in what felt like a lifetime. I missed our little glances that I would always hallucinate were longing, knowing glances.

I missed the 40 seconds in passing that we would talk to each other as I got on the ice and she left the ice. I missed the dinners that our parents would force us to have together. Where we would have a civil conversation 'for our parents' sakes'(I truthfully looked forward to those dinners).

I looked forward to the hug I would give her. My arms wrapped around her cold body. My hands would graze her smaller cold ones. She would be fresh out of the shower after an evening session, and her hair would smell like her fruity shampoo and her sweet honey-scented conditioner. When she walked by me quick enough, the smells would waft and invade my nose and numb my senses.

Even when I looked away from her trying not to look in her direction, my mind wouldn't shut up about her.

. . .

I hated how his lack of attention towards me bothered me so much. I hated how no matter how hard I tried, I could never hate him as much as he probably hated me. Today would be different. You wouldn't bother him today. As you skated off the ice you ignored him and skated right off. It took everything in you not to look back at him.

. . .

You stood unable to move as if your skates were frozen into the ice. Then everything went completely dark and all you could hear was the screams of your parents. You felt someone pushing you to the ground then everything went black.

. . .

next part → 8 days til' christmas

----------------------------------------------------------------------

taglist:

@aripet22

[goattypegirl]

If you were giving a rough overview of how powers and trigger events worked in Worm, what character would you use an example? Ideally it should:

1. Showcase the cosmic irony of powers without being too on the nose or too abstract. Part of what makes the powers so interesting are the way they reflect trigger events, but you'd need a whole ass essay to fully explain how Jack can extend the range of knives (and, you know, do that other thing), and you really need to read all of Worm to understand why Taylor

2. Be simple. Clusters, Trumps, Cauldron capes, case 53s, and buds are a bit too complicated to explain for this purpose. Dauntless probably falls in this as well on account of him telling his passenger 'fuck off, im busy' mid-trigger and how that shaped his power.

3. Not spoil too much. I don't want to give away a dramatic moment or something from a character's interlude. This disqualifies most of the Undersiders and Breakthrough though...

So. A non-major character who's trigger is not revealed in a climactic moment, not a Cauldron cape, part of a cluster, or a bud, where it's easy to draw a line between trigger and power... Vista fits the bill. And I can't think of anyone else. And I'm looking at the wiki and I don't recognize half these names what the hell.

[crguang]

I feel like there’s a lot of sacrificing for a joke in hsr, which is definitely annoying especially when it just…doesn’t make sense, tonally and just logically. And I really do wish we found out more abt the TB, and I would’ve like even like a tidbit from firefly since we talk to her sm, we even play as her at the end. Or maybe get an offhand mention abt how she’s not supposed to tell us bc of the script or smth . I def agree w you, I cannot take the ipc seriously, bc there’s all this stuff abt how they’re doing stuff for their own benefit and profit but idk the stuff w the stellaron hunters and them is just so goofy, like it doesn’t make any sense.

ok so, I was looking thru ur blog and I realized I sent a message abt two-ish weeks ago, tumblr probably ate it smh. I was just saying how it was silly that Kafka’s wanted poster literally says she likes coats on it, and her bounty, like that’s it. Shes so sjsjshbsbddbbewv. And I also came up with another fic idea, like Kafka in an idol/band AU, but also I think her being an actor w the other stellaron hunters would be funny. But yk if I ever get around to writing anything instead of Kafka just living in my brain, who would she be in a band with, I was think abt using some of the characters from the animated before the show starts thing, but the instruments just don’t go together. Also I think I need to work on writing Kafka in general, bc she’s so complicated and it’s fun but I also overthink things too much.

And the leaks were unfortunately right abt 4 characters on one side. I’m not as devastated as you ofc, but hopefully I win my 50/50. Hjskalskskskndn I will cry if I loose.

also, no need to apologize for ranting, your rants always make more sense than mine, and I really enjoy your thoughts. -🌠

i agree with you 100%!!! missed opportunity with firefly and the tb reconnecting it could have been so nice. and omg i think i read that ask, it sounds familiar but i have so many (most are really old reqs, the recent ones are the event reqs i keep to answer eventually) and sometimes things get lost or i’ll click on the notification, answer in my head, then go do something else and forget to actually post my reply, im sorry😭😭 but YES i was thinking of kafka’s description in the game and while i know its the objective writing of the game and not the ipc, i find it funny to believe that whoever was in charge of her wanted notice thought she was hot as fuck because “dashing” and “beauty” in the same sentence is crazy work. her bounty is even funnier bc im wondering how they found out that she loved coats like😭 did she steal a bunch (she did), are they rlly monitoring her credit card and seeing all the purchases of expensive coats, is she always found in a store— what is it?!

actor au stellaron hunters would be really fun… you could also just put then in a band together for the idol/band au because i do think they’re the people who understand her best. the thought of kafka and jingliu practicing together is so funny because jingliu would hate that woman like GDJFBFNG her arrogance would have liu clenching that instrument so tight

i dont think you should worry about overthinking when it comes to writing, it can be a weakness because then you focus too much on details and forget the big picture, but personally i also think j too much into things when i write characters like kafka especially. when every genuine emotion is in the twitch of a finger, there’s kinda no choice lol

“im not as devastated as you” is killing me but its true… im the biggest victim of this banner system bc if i dont get my swanie i’ll @)&$(&)@)£<£#%. i hope u win the 50/50, unless i lose mine in which case i hope everyone else also loses <3

[compacflt]

hey! i was just going through your blog, and i saw a post about ice&carole and mav&goose. i looked a bit more but i couldn't find a post about your take on mav and goose's relationship, so i wanted to ask what it was. if you have answered this, i'm sorry about asking you again. imo i think what they had was wayy deeper than friendship but complex and probably not romantic, but again, i just wanted to know your thoughts on it.

thank you! and this blog has probably been one of the best finds i have ever come across on tumblr, i'll be sad to see you go.

yeah, i was really trying to be suave and subtle and mysterious about it with this parallel

like, you should be able to figure it out for yourself.

but luckily for you i looooove beating dead horses. to a problematic degree.

the full story of my vision of mavgoose (moose?) is in the completed draft of the extras that are coming out on Saturday. about halfway through. But i want to bring it back to the internal craft-of-writing debate i brought up yesterday—my inability to summarize, or to cut superfluous sections that don’t really matter.

I’ll stick it under the cut for spoiler reasons, but i wanna show the simple first draft of this scene versus the complicated, heavier final draft. And I want to ask any of you, if you’re interested—as a reader, which is more impactful? which should i end up publishing?

the simple first draft:

then i kept turning it in my head thinking of different ways to edit it to say something slightly different, to get a little more specific, coming up with things to add, and ended up adding like five extra paragraphs. which is this:

about 1/4 of the final draft (by which i mean, this is about 1/4 of the whole final discussion scene, but the goosemav-specific content only goes on for about another graf [omitted bc spoilers]):

(so to answer your ask explicitly, i actually don’t think they were anything deeper than good friends. imo there’s no evidence that they were anything deeper than good friends, especially with maverick blowing goose/goose’s wishes off soooo many times [‘she’s lost that lovin feelin;’ volleyball; refusing to do the responsible thing at least twice even after goose tells him it puts his & his family’s livelihoods at risk…bro all he does is blow off goose]. see me bitching in the tags for more on this)

obviously in my head the complicated in-depth version ⬆️ is the True version, the version of events that really Happened. i think the writing is in some spots much more compelling. But it just doesn’t make for a particularly good reading experience when it’s surrounded by like 3/4 pages of other discussion of history! sometimes too much of (what i think is) a good thing turns that good thing bad! & this is a major keystone dynamic of my whole series so i just want to get it right, for my own peace of mind. I guess im asking you to be the harsh editor i wish i had sometimes, if ur interested in doing so—this is genuinely a major major problem i have with my writing, i can’t ever just leave well enough alone 😭 please let me know if simpler is better/less is more in this case! do i publish the short vague “the reader fills in the blanks” version or the long boring “here’s EXACTLY how i see it” version?

[louisisalarrie]

"louis leaked the weed video to daily mail and you cant convince me otherwise"

the weed video is so funny to me, I wasn't in the fandom back then so I don't really know how the fandom reacted. But looking at it now is so funny considering how he has a song high in california and even harry has admitted doing drugs not to mention his lyrics. but the funniest part about that video is that zayn says "i know you like dick"

Hello anon!! This was meant to be a lot shorter, but… yep. Here we are. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these but, well, welcome to the show…

It was sooooo clearly planned. And hilarious. And at the time, because a lot of us were on the younger side, we were shook at this video. tried to rationalise it by them being excited about the actual food chicken, not coke, and there were more than a few people who unstanned. People burned physical concert tickets, deleted their blogs, sent nasty tweets to the boys… It was not something we were expecting, particularly because it just came out of the blue one day, and a lot of us were too young to have dabbled in the devil’s lettuce.

but yeah… louis filmed for a long time, clearly putting the joint in the middle of the frame multiple times so we wouldn’t miss it, spoke super loudly so we’d know it was him, kept talking about how they were smoking weed, and basically removed all plausible deniability. and there wasn’t really too much attempted clean up afterwards. things just kinda kept going on as normal, even after the video was leaked.

SC did a half assed attempt at saving face, Liam made a series of tweets to try and save their butts (as per usual, he cleans up haha), TMZ said One Direction’s lawyers were getting involved because someone stole that video and leaked it (which like… how? It was literally filmed on louis’ phone, and im sure there would be much more interesting things to leak off there), and then articles about how upset Harry was at Louis for the whole thing were planted the next day to a) push larry further apart and continue their enemy thing, and b) push harry for another reason for a solo career.

BUT the thing is… SC’s statement, came roughly a week after all the articles had come out. It wasn’t straight away. And you wanna know why I think that was?

This article from the BBC.

Plainly put, it’s a short speculation piece about whether or not One Direction were still happy. That was a massive thing that came out of that video… was just like, Zayn and Louis being annoyed that they were putting out ANOTHER book, and that it was just the same old boring stuff that the fans had seen and read all before (I have all the books still, and yes, he is correct). I think that probably encouraged a statement from SC, because what’s the best way to show you’re unhappy and wanna step away from your brand and get back at your big boss who has full control over your career? You guessed it! A scandal.

While they certainly were smart enough to do this while in a country where it is legal to have a small amount of jazz cabbage for personal use, to avoid further complications with the law etc., and never actually using any explicit terms like “cocaine”, it got them off the hook enough that this leak was successful while still protected them from “going too far”. And I 100% stand by that it was Louis who planned to film and leak it, and that’s why “I know u like dick” came out, too.

Precious Mr Tomlinson has always been a bit of a mastermind with a master plan, and he knew that by posting this, the media would jump on them doing drugs more so. That was meant to be the main feature, with a splash of hating their brand and wanting to do more for fans. But for us Larries? Well… zayn saying he knows louis likes dick and then a loud louis cackle was pretty huge. Louis encouraged it and probably suggested zayn say something along those lines just to stir the pot (pun intended) some more. This video truly had the trifecta: hating SC/the 1d brand, doing drugs, and encouraging gay rumours.

And theeeeen SC hit louis with a punishment, which was Eleanor was to accompany louis for the rest of the tour because she’s a “great influence on him” (lol) which was announced on the same day of SC’s statement (coincidence?).

That same article then commented on how louis was so upset about the video because he was trying to make a deal to buy the Rovers at that time and didn’t wanna jeopardise it (he knew that vid wasn’t gonna jeopardise shit lol).

I think Louis saying the N word (which we all argued about whether he said it or not for ages bc damn louis) is totally inexcusable. That was by far the worst thing that came out of this video, and the media noticed it too. I don’t think he intended on it being in the video leak, because regardless of how much he wanted to piss off SC, I don’t think he’d ever intended to hurt anyone else and him saying that obviously did. I won’t excuse that and I kinda think well did he even watch it back before leaking it? Did he rewatch it still stoned and didn’t think twice about it? Either way he shouldn’t have said it regardless of being on camera or not and he did really hurt a lot of people. It was stupid.

The vid still available online is cut exactly at 5 mins, and is chopped up and doesn’t show the whole thing (I think there was a longer version somewhere that came out too and it was like over 8 mins but didn’t have the cuts in it? Idk I remember there being a longer one that disappeared???) but yeah… it truly was a time.

[orgasming-caterpillar]

Dancing On Your Heartstrings

Chapter 17 (prev chapters)

Raghav POV

Raghav cried for a long time after Ranveer had left. 

Crying would be an understatement. He choked on his sobs and hated the tears streaming down his face. Considering what a shithole he was in earlier, it was a bitter surprise that he had somehow managed to fuck everything up even more. 

Firstly, he hated himself for disappointing Ranveer. The least he could've done for the guy was take care of his body so that they could win the competition like he dreamed to. But no, he tried －and failed, miserably－ to punch someone and got his fucking wrist hurt. He spent all that time getting Ranveer back to the studio only to hurt himself and sabotage their best move. 

He also hated himself for not being able to keep his mouth in control. If they still had any chance of somehow making it to the competition, he ruined it by running his mouth and outing himself to Ranveer. He couldn't believe the words that had come out of his mouth. He couldn't believe he had told Ranveer that he was gay. 

It wasn't that he was homophobic, but Raghav doubted any straight guy would want to dance with a gay guy, especially one who acted like a wife who just got cheated on when he saw you catching up with your ex. Let alone one with an injury. It was too goddamn complicated. Raghav made it complicated. 

Would Ranveer smile at him like he used to, now that he knew Raghav was gay? Would he lend him a helping hand and help him up by his waist whenever he fell, knowing Raghav probably liked it? Would he still take sneaky candids of Raghav when they sat down to relax after an exhausting rehearsal? That is, if they still continued dancing. 

Out of all things, he hated that godforsaken hope the most. 

Why was he still hoping? He just made sure everything goes straight to shit. He just fucked up everything and fucked it up again for good measure.

But the way Ranveer sounded when he said, 'You're not straight?'...

Raghav had pretended to sleep. Gods knew what could happen if he hadn't. He didn't even trust himself to do so much as breathe until Ranveer left the room. 

His phone chimed in his pocket. There were four texts from Karan, which he didn't give a damn about; two from an unknown number, which he didn't give half a damn about; and twelve from Madhuri, which he guiltily ignored because his heart was already picking up speed at the single text from Ranveer. 

His Royal Thighness 

Are you alright now? 

A bitter feeling was clogging Raghav's throat. He wished this was all a dream and he would wake up to find that today had just been a long nightmare, that he's actually still just as close to Ranveer as he used to be, even if it hurt. That they were still 'friends' and the feelings in his chest were cheap enough for him to save Ranveer's number as silly nicknames. 

He swallowed the lump in his throat and began typing out a reply. 

No

Message has been deleted

Do you expect me to be? 

Message has been deleted 

Raghav wiped a few more tears in vain, more just kept coming, and typed out a furious passage, 'No I'm not fucking alright and nor will I be as long as you're here. Do you think I can be alright?? When you're right here talking to pretty girls all day??? Do you t hi ink i can be fucking ALRIGHT whrn you wont stop looking at me like I'm worth something to you even when im not? Im not alright Ranveer why can't you fucking see that i…'

His fingers froze where they were. 

His Royal Thighness

Typing… 

Raghav's hands were shaking now. He tried to read the passage he had written but couldn't bring himself to look at his own words. Gods, what if Ranveer had seen that??? He was being too reckless. He hated that Ranveer made him behave that fucking recklessly. 

Raghav began deleting his rant. His heart was in his throat, because Ranveer was still typing. 

His Royal Thighness 

What the hell have you been typing for three whole minutes? 

Raghav sobbed. 

If only. 

If only he could just say what the hell he had been typing. If only Ranveer wasn't straight. If only they were more than just an impossibility. 

His heart was rampant in his chest, temples throbbing with how hard he had been crying. Another 'Typing…' bubble appeared on Ranveer's side. Raghav threw his phone against the wall. 

The crack of his phone breaking wasn't enough to pull his thoughts away from Ranveer. He was regretting it, but not because his phone was broken. It was because he didn't get to see what Ranveer wanted to say to him. Raghav sobbed again, cringing at his own patheticness. 

He managed to get out of bed to pick his phone up. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw tear stains the size of his own face on the pillow. Pathetic.

The phone was completely wrecked. Screen shattered to bits and pieces, a dent in the side that crashed against the wall, it wouldn't even turn on. Raghav cursed at himself and threw it across the room. What the fuck is even happening anymore? Why was he doing this? What was he thinking? Why did he still want to see what Ranveer had texted him? 

Raghav didn't care if anyone heard anymore. He didn't want his mother to come in, didn't want her invasive questions, but he didn't have the capacity to press it down anymore.

And he couldn't even blame Ranveer. It wasn't his fault that he was straight. How could Raghav blame anyone when he broke his own heart? 

The door burst open and startled him out of his misery for a moment. 

"Abhi nahi na, mumm-" he begged before he realised who actually was at the door. 

"What the fuck happened, Raghu?" 

He stared at Madhuri, open mouthed, watching her expression turn from angry to surprised to concerned. She quickly crossed the distance between them, her caring persona taking over. 

More tears welled up in Raghav's eyes. He wasn't sure how he would explain this, any of this, to Madhuri. 

She started to kneel beside him on the floor, confusion and care overflowing in her eyes. "M-Madhuri, I-"

"Chup kar," she snapped, bringing him in for a rib-crushing embrace. 

Gods knew he needed that. 

She held him tight as his body shook with violent sobs; tried to hold together the boy shattering in her arms. Raghav was clinging to her like she was the only object of warmth in a sea of ice. It was then that he realised how stupid he was to think he would ever have to explain himself to her. 

Madhuri was smaller than him, shorter, leaner, despite being older. But she definitely didn't lack any of the elder-sisterly love. She was so full of love, so unashamed of expressing it, that it was hard to believe she had been absent for years from his life. She didn't try to get him to talk, didn't even try to stop him from crying. She just let him shed his tears while she patted his back. 

"Raghu?" she said once he stopped shaking, and there was such a softness in her voice that for a moment all of Raghav's worries didn't feel so daunting anymore. 

"Hmm."

"You know I'd rather have you cry to me for hours instead of shedding a single tear alone." 

Raghav hugged her tighter, his chest already feeling lighter.

When people think of love, they think about romance. That's the biggest tragedy of life. They think of love and how lucky they would be to have someone love them, want them, desire them. That isn't what love is at all. 

Love is when you show someone the cracks in your armour, where the sheathing ends and skin begins. Love is when you give someone a knife and trust them not to stab. 

Raghav hadn't cried like this in ages, especially not in front of anyone. Not that he felt embarrassed. 'Embarrassed' was a word that never existed between him and Madhuri. 

He wiped his eyes, letting her pat his rumpled hair down. "Tu yaha pe kaise?" he asked, voice hoarse. "I thought you were staying with Manorama."

Madhuri looked at him as if he had truly gone insane. "Pagal, tune hi to mujhe aaj aunty aur uncle ke sath dinner ke liye bulaya tha."

Oh. He completely forgot about that. 

"Sorry, I forgo-"

"I can see that, idiot. Ro kyu raha tha?"

This was why he was so god damn miserable. Hiding things from Madhuri always made him miserable. And if there was one thing that could bring him out of this wreck, even to a little extent, it was her. 

"Uh, you know Ranveer?"

The furrow in her brow flattened and she narrowed her eyes in judgement. Not the 'What did he do?' judgement, but the 'I knew it' judgement. It was worse, somehow, because now he felt guilty about hiding this from her knowing that she knew he was hiding something from her. Of fucking course she knew. 

So Raghav told her more. 

• • •

Ranveer was late. Again. 

It was unusual for him to be late two days in a row. 

Even the simple thought brought back memories of the previous day. Maybe he was busy talking to his girlfriend again. Not a girlfriend, he remembered. And then scolded himself for whatever came to his mind next. Mujhe kya. 

He opened his messages app－in the phone Madhuri had lent him until he got another of his own－ and saw four new messages since last night. He recognized one of the numbers: Eric, one of his high school friends he still talked to after coming back until a while ago. 

Eager for a distraction, he called back. 

"Hello?" came from the other side on the third ring.

"Yeah?"

"Raghav? Remember me?"

"Yeah, dude. What's-" The door opened at that accursed time, revealing Ranveer. With his t-shirt and long hair both wet from the drizzle outside, he managed to bring Raghav's vocal abilities to verbally express his thoughts down to that of a stuttering toddler. "Uhhh."

"You okay?" asked Eric.

Ranveer's eyes met his, and something sparked like the beginning of a forest fire in his chest. "Hello?" Eric asked again. Bhaad mein ja, yaar. 

Raghav cleared his throat. "Yeah, what were you saying?"

Ranveer tore his gaze away, approaching the bench on the other side of the room. Eric started to ramble about something of which Raghav understood only snippets. (High school reunion, a party of about fifty people, all his old crushes will be there)

Because his eyes were focused on, despite his best efforts, him. He took off his t-shirt, with his back to Raghav, and searched for something in his bag. 

"You up for it?" Eric concluded. "Are you sure you don't have any other plans on the weekend?"

Ranveer took out a spare flannel and put it on, tying his hair back into a half-bun. He glanced back at Raghav, who fumbled for something to say to make himself seem busy. "Yeah, dude, for sure."

"Nice. I'll text you the details later. When are you coming?"

Ranveer made his way to him with his phone and speaker. "I have a big event tomorrow. I'll take a flight the day after that, hmm?"

"Nice," Eric whooped. Like, literally whooped. What the fuck was he excited about? Raghav felt like throwing up. 

"Kaisi flight?" inquired Ranveer. 

Would crying be a bad idea right now? It sure seemed like a tempting option. 

Raghav faked nonchalance. "I'm going back to the UK."

[urlocalnonbinarybastardwrites]

Okay this is like the third one I've sent in cause I just keep asking stuff because I discover more things you require for your asks and I'm not trying to make your life any harder than it probably is with all these request.

Anyway, I usually hate the "outsiders X YN" propaganda but I was super curious soo

I'm a female. I'm 5'6 with curly brown hair, I'm Caucasian, I have hazel eyes.

I prefer to go unlabeled. I like girls and guys. Doesn't matter to me.

I'm an infp-t, I have OCD, I'm super sarcastic all the time even when. I don't intend to be. People assume I'm mean whenever they meet me but usually that changes over time. My love language(Offering love) is acts of service but I don't care about what type I receive. I speak in a very monotone fashion sometimes which again leads people to believe I may be mean or negative but I'm very extroverted. I'm opinionative and sociable. I'd like to think I'm pretty good at holding a conversation because I love learning about other people's views and taking their comments into consideration. I also try to give people really in-depth and earnest compliments because I don't think anyone gets enough of those. I also love to give gifts and to give advice. I love having really long, genuine conversations. I love literature and writing and collecting poems and quotes. I love exploring new music genres. I'm pretty spontaneous, and spontaneity is something I value a lot in a partner.

I also value humor a lot. I'm an avoidant person but I go out of my way to show or tell people I care when I can. I, again, love writing. I love writing stories, ideas, concepts. It's all fun to me. Im a middle child. I also cook a lot and care a lot for people around me. Im also fairly empathetic sometimes, even when I don't need to be. It's hard for me to ask what I want. I'm also like disgustingly self-aware. Like I mean I just know when my actions are weird or embarrassing. I know the possible outcomes of things before I do them. Idk. I can see myself from a clear outside perspective. Im also really reflective of body language/words/actions and stuff. It's easy for me to pick up and read someone. Chronic over-thinker as well. I also have the teeniest but of social anxiety(but I'm comfortable with speaking on a stage and stuff?? Idk it's complicated.)

My mantra is that you'll never get to do the same thing twice, why not do it now? What will you really lose?

I'm very self-depricating. Woops. Uhh and idk. I don't have any specifics for any partner. I like all sorts of people I'm not picky.

Please lmk what you think 🤗

I’m so sorry first lol for making you repeat so many times. I just prefer to have as much information as possible to give you the most accurate answer and also some people didn’t include their sexualities the first time and then I messed up because I paired them with a person they weren’t interested in and then they I had to redo their entire ask because you know they were like oh I’m gay could you not be shipping me with a girl and I was like well you didn’t put that in your request so I have no idea. So thanks for tolerating that.

Your Outsiders Ship: Sodapop Curtis

(I could see you with Marcia too 😊 but I don’t know enough about her character to do a full analysis)

Explanation: starting off with looks, I think that he would be extremely attracted to you. I think that he personally finds brown eyes and hair to be absolutely stunning and just loves the way that they remind him of the hot cocoa constantly consumes in the morning when Darry has his coffee and Ponyboy has tea. You’re shorter than him, but not too short and I think that he appreciates that because it means that you don’t have to reach up on your tippy toes to kiss him, but you can also just you know he’s you’re still short enough for him to tease you about it a lot which he definitely would. I think you guys kind of have an opposite attract thing going on like I think one of the things that really stood out about you was your sarcastic personality to him and I think he really appreciated it and your brutal honesty was really different from other girls he’d interacted with, and I just think that he would be extremely attracted to that. he had a really hard time using his charm on you. I think he’s one of the few people that sees past the oh you’re probably a mean person type of thing because I feel like he’s is a very big believer in you know second chances you don’t know that person that well they could be going through something type of ideology and I think as the people pleaser he is, he would definitely give you multiple chances and I mean, even if Steve was kind of like dude she seems kind of mean sodapop would instantly be at your side defending you. seriously he has golden retriever energy, and you have black cat energy all the way and I just think you’re dynamic would be pretty cute together. I feel like he would help you out a little bit with your social skills too and help you to be a little bit more friendly to people if you ever had an issue with that he would also always defend you with people didn’t get you the way that you talked or you know things like that. I think you could also balance him out with your opinionated Ness because I feel like a lot of his life. Sodapop is always felt kind of pressure to fit in with everyone else and go with their opinions because I headcanon personally that he’s a chronic people pleaser and really wants to just make people happy and I feel like you’re argumentative personality would definitely clash with that in such an interesting and good way. I just think you guys would fundamentally help each other and, be a good pairing because you would always be working on improving each other and not only through social skills either. Soda pop doesn’t get poetry that much but I feel like he would absolutely support you or if you ever found something that seemed kind of poetic he would definitely give it to you and he would absolutely melt if you gave him an in-depth complement or did something really nice for him because you also mentioned active service was another one of your love languages I think he would just melt. He’s the middle sibling so he’s used to being ignored and whenever you have your full attention on him he just feels like he’s floating. He feels like you’re one of the few people who see beyond the “ hot Curtis sibling” and see him as a person because he is. he’s also incredibly spontaneous so you’re in luck for that aspect of your relationship. I think he is probably one of the most if not the most spontaneous out of the greasers and just I think he’s willing to do random things because I mean, I don’t know. I just think he kind of enjoys the chaos plus he’s a pretty like chaotic a great partner to have I think like not chaotic bad but more chaotic like I enjoy making life interesting type of thing. I also feel like he would love the fact that you write because it reminds him a lot of pony boy and I think he would definitely just love it and stand next to you while you write and ask 1 million questions and end up kind of annoying you, but it would be cute.

Also, also, I feel like you guys would totally bond over being the middle sibling because I mean no one can really no one really gets the experience unless they’ve actually been in the situation of being the middle child and I feel like once he finds out that you’ve been a middle sibling before he can’t wait to talk about all the relatable shit with you and I just yeah, I feel like that would be one of your main bonding subjects that you guys first realize you had something in common. Also, he is also someone who values humor a lot and I feel like you guys would have a super fun time making jokes together and just laughing and enjoying life in general he’s a person that is literally described as not needing alcohol or cigarettes or anything like that to enjoy life, he just takes it by the hands and really knows how to live and I feel like that’s something that you really really need to have a good sense of humor besides being able to laugh at yourself and he absolutely has that. Also good luck with this man in the kitchen because it is just going to end up in a flower fight and you will not get any cooking whatsoever and if you do, it’s gonna be something weird as shit because he snuck food coloring into the dough or something like that. He really loves yourself awareness because he’s often had partners who aren’t so self-aware and are kind of oblivious to what their actions do and don’t know a lot about themselves and why they act certain ways so he really values that in a partner and I feel like that’s something you could fulfill and you could help him be more self-aware too, so he’s definitely glad that’s a trait you have. Also for your anxiety I feel like he can help a lot with that. He’s kind of a more carefree guy. I don’t feel like he has anxiety too bad and he has a pretty good coping system, but I feel like he would be excellent at you know spotting whenever you’re having a panic attack helping you get over a panic attack helping you remember to meditate for 10 minutes daily things like that I feel like he would be a super helpful person to be dating if you have extreme anxiety or if you’re an overthinking person. Anyway this is cute I ship it!! 💚💚

[amyreads]

Your writing is absolutely incredible. I love the way you write characters, it's really realistic and refreshing. Do you have any advice for writing such realistic characters?

thank you!

i look back on my early fanfiction and cringe at how jilted and unrealistic the dialogue was.

one thing i notice about some stories is how obvious the author is being like sometimes you can read a dialogue and you know the author wants you to feel some kind of way or wants you to romance this character and im definitely guilty of that in terms of the emotion i try to pull as people read, but sometimes it can really ruin the realism.

for example, there's been many times that i write a romantic choice for MC to say to orion and i want orion to say a certain thing in return because im like "omg this is the most romantic line ever someone shower me in flowers this is going to BANG theyre going to love this" and then my logical part of my brain is like "orion would never say this..." and i have to delete it and put something that aligns more with his character.

it's also nice to remember that people are not static. we move as we speak, we think, sometimes we need to pause, react, scratch our nose lol and i think adding action, no matter how small it may be, adds to making them feel a bit more real. sometimes conversations get derailed, people cut each other off, sometimes we get too passionate. it's rare that people have an actual like... straightforward back and forth where they know exactly what they're going to say next and they always wait exactly 3 seconds for the person to finish, you know?

for example:

"Wait." She raises a hand to cut you off, making a baffled face. "What?"

"Wait," she says. "What?"

Even without context, the first one at least gives you a better idea of how she feels about whatever she just heard.

what helps me is also saying the dialogue aloud! it helps me actually listen to the convo and sometimes i realize it sounds off. also, tone and and how people speak is very much dependent on the setting and story. MC isn't going to talk like a 20th-century aristocrat, while the 20th-century aristocrat isn't going to talk like MC. I am actually a bit more of a flowery writer than I am in the game, but flowery writing and long-winded, overly complicated metaphors just don't fit when it's supposed to be MC's monologue, so I have to dial it back for realism purposes!

This probably doesn't help, but thinking like this is what helped me brush up my dialogue better. I used to write like this:

"Oh," she said.

He smiled. "Yeah."

"Can we go to the store now?" she asked.

"No." He shakes his head. "I don't want to."

"Okay," she said. "I will go later then."

"Okay."

Terrible lmao

im glad!

[hopefully-nightly-doodles]

I don’t really post vent art here but I decided I o post this one cuz well… Honestly it’s mostly cuz I can’t sleep and have a lot of thoughts circling my head right now…

Vent hidden just incase people don’t wanna get depressed reading my wall of text sndbdj

I used to talk a lot in my twitter and I do have a priv that I had posted this vent art on weeks ago but idk- Twitter has become such a toxic space its hard to be active there even in my private account. Well actually its hard to be active anywhere for me, but if you’re a long time follower you probably already know that. I’m a hermit, and very much an introvert with a weird social battery. Every time someone tells me they think I was an extrovert I always get so confused by it-

I don’t even know where I’m going with this or if it will ever see the light of day, but it can’t hurt to try and process feelings right?

Im not going to go into detail on to what made me draw this or the full extent of what’s been happening cuz its complicated as fuck- But I can try and dissect how I’ve been feeling or at least try to. For the past month or maybe more I’ve been tipping back and forth on my mental health, and at the end of May the scales finally tipped over for the worst and I did something so fukin stupid. It was a snap instant regret kinda moment and I knew I fucked up big time. While yes, there were outside things that happened and build up turmoil months prior that got me to that point of mental deterioration before the snap, its on me to have let myself get that bad in the first place.

I should have taken more breaks when I knew I was pushing myself constantly, draining myself constantly. I should have been more firm with my boundaries whenever I mentioned them and should have been better at communicating the hurt and stress and pressure thats been building up before it all came crashing down.

People always say “love yourself before you love others”, and on a logical and fundamental level I always understand why. At least I think I do… But to deeply understand what it actually meant I knew I only had, at best, a foggy grasp of it. And since what’s happened recently I kinda get a little why now. People who are hurt will always end up hurting other people when that hurt is ignored or not properly processed.

And thats what happened to me. I hurt someone I really cared about and I feel gross and unbelievably disappointed in myself for it.

It doesn’t matter how hard you try to be better for others or to be there for people and be kind and supportive to them. Those acts of service and kindness, tho genuine, isn’t going to fill the hole in your heart that you aren’t giving that kind of support to yourself. It’s so self destructive and will leave you to grow bitter from the inside out. And thats why it was so hard to see, and why I didn’t notice till it was too late. Cuz on the outside I look and acted fine, but inside i was deteriorating so much that I got to a point I couldn’t not see it anymore. And in a desperate cry for help I tried to open about it and explain int the worst way possible up but snapped, crossed a boundary I shouldn’t have then ran away.

And I don’t mean snap like get angry, I meant like snap as in I had a mental break that led to the worst tunnel visioned, impulsive fueled action afterwards. Its so hard for me to get genuine angry at people and when I do I walk away to cool down. I at least have some comfort knowing I didn’t unleash burning hot fury on someone cuz I think I might actually puke if I get to that point. That I have become that kind of person. But anger isn’t the only way you can hurt someone and I feel like what I did was kinda worse then plain anger.

Since that happened I just been away from almost everything. I mean I know isolation isn’t the solution so I kept a couple of friends close to have a support system to help me through this. But I did it to think and process everything that happened and has happened before hand that led to that point. And I haven’t just been overthinking and sulking and mopping in the mess I made because honestly who does that help really? I guess that’s what lead me here, to making a tumblr post on my dump account at 7am in the morning. To pick apart my feelings and toss it into the void.

Well that and 2 other reasons… That part where I was talking about being disgusted by myself? Yeh well thoughts of me “erasing myself form the equation” and just snipping connections left and right had pop up in my head more times that in has ever been recently. Cuz you know if ***I’m*** the problem then haha I probably wouldn’t be missed then!

But then two people check up on me and like I shit you not I started crying on the spot. Actually sobbing (but not too loud cuz I can’t cry in this house hold) because oh wow not everyone hates me. Like yes I had my support system and they are doing gods work, they are lovely beautiful human beings and love and adore them! but it’s different when someone you weren’t expecting checks up on you, to know you occupy a space in their head and to hear and see that they cared enough about you to check.

One of them was a friend from a new more recent friend group I had been in when I joined a new fandom. Me and that person hadn’t been particularly close nor talked too much but I loved their company whenever we did get the chance. I wish I talked more to them but time zones and my own social anxiety kinda prevented that so that is something to work on. And the 2nd one was from an old friend I kinda drifted away from a lil, cuz again I moved fandoms, but was very close with. They have absolutely no clue about my current situation but actually checked up on me cuz of uh… The territorial tension between China and the Philippines hdkdbsjsb. It was so out of nowhere and unexpected like they didn’t even have my alt discord to message me but they found a way so I was kinda just super touched-

And those two interactions plus my awesome friends who have been a great support system, that keep me centered and grounded. Im reminded that people do care and that one mistake doesn’t make me scum of the world no matter how loud my toxic thoughts screams it at me. Especially not when I am trying to be better and recognize the mistakes I made and even apologized before taking my break from most my contacts. No one has even called me that but myself cuz Im so quick to be hard on myself for any mistakes.

All I can do now is keep myself centered, allow myself to feel my complicated feelings and process them in a healthy manner, do my best to be better moving forward, and to be patient with myself and move at my own pace.

Hey if you got this far into reading, wow you must have a lot of free time! /lh jdkdjdhdjdhd-

That or you’re just really interested in how I’ve been. I’ve been called mysterious, aloof and hard to read before so maybe you wanted to know what actually goes on upstairs lol.

But either way here’s a little something for reading I guess. The words in the vent art is actually lyrics and this was the song I was listening too when I was making it. Additionally if you’re feeling sad and need a song to listen to try this, it helps me process emotions. Either way if you happen to stumble on this, I hope you get something form this and that you have a nice day.

[raccoonfallsharder]

yo. wsp. sooooo i been writing some thoughts lately and i need help with something

HOW THE FUCK DO I WRITE GOOD SMUT? like i tried once and it was fucking BAD lollll. i seriously need help and you're the only person i can actually ask because you. are literally. the best at that. so pleassse send help

bb i love you and you are a sweet little raspberry pastry. i am so flattered to be asked something like this. i don’t know if i am the best but i do think any success i have is from learning from the best! im not great with advice but here are some things i believe have helped me.

the most important thing i can tell you is this: WRITE “BAD” SMUT! who cares? no-one has to see it?? write bad smut, and then write more bad smut, then go back and reread your og bad smut and decide what you would change so you enjoy reading it just a little bit more. then write some more bad smut. the first time you ever wrote a sentence, was it an ivory tower example of academically flawless grammar, punctuation, and spelling? was it an evocative and award-winning piece of revelatory poetry inspiring massive social change on a global scale? no way. you probably didn’t even have all your letters facing the right direction. WRITE BAD SMUT OR YOU’LL NEVER WRITE GOOD SMUT.

also write bad smut because it’s fun honestly and who cares how good it is?

next most important piece of advice: i think you gotta start by asking yourself what you like best when you’re reading smut. nono wait back up. first you gotta read A LOT of smut. no, more. however much you’re thinking, probably more. then you gotta figure out what your favorite parts are and why.

now. on a more individual note. every author’s smut is different and personal because everything author’s writing is different and personal and smut is in some ways even more personal, right? (don’t stop making plums) so what you’re writing will always look different. but here are some things that have worked for me and maybe they can provide a good space for you to start exploring how you want your smut to look. (warning for late-night first-draft rambling ahead)

for me, there are two parts to what makes smut satisfying (again, this is personal preference).

the first is when the smut is very rooted in an emotional core — specifically, the characters and their motivations. what does each character want? if it’s only an orgasm, why is it only an orgasm? if it’s more than an orgasm, what is it and why? and what does that look like?

sunshine-reader in sunshine wants a playful one-night stand but is incapable of not offering warmth. rocket in the same narrative wants connection because he’s rocket and never feels connected enough. their connection is warm and open because (they think) it’s low-risk and short-lived.

pearl-reader in wyndham/cicatrix wants to exercise autonomy for once in her damn life. rocket/“the monster” in wyndham/cicatrix wants revenge-sex. both of these two are grappling with their own versions of grief and that shows through in their motivations too (at least id like to think so).

in window, sex between jo and rocket looks different when it’s their first time versus when rocket’s trying to coerce her into taking up more space versus when jo is spiraling as they head back to terra, because the goals and motivations are always different.

knowing your characters’ motivations for sex, the way they’re trying to communicate with each other, and their outside-the-bedroom neuroses can also help make sense of kinks, too. in my imagination, rocket always has control issues (especially mcu rocket tbh) because of his historical lack of control and what it means for him to be under someone else’s power. (but i also see him with a complicated/conflicted praise kink a la adorations because he wants to believe nice things about himself while also not believing them, or not believing compliments are genuine).

all of the above is the philosophical part of smut — the emotional core that makes smut more satisfying for me personally as a reader. after that, we get into the technical writing-shit. i think, much like actual sex, the pay-off is better if you savor the journey. so at least for me, that means writing beyond just pinched nips, grinding, penetration. it means taking time to explore the way it feels to be touched in even the mundane parts of our bodies: different textures, pressures, etc.

for example, a claw prickling over the inner flesh of the forearm is not explicitly sexual but. i mean. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ or is it. you know?

another thing for me is to focus on detail. when our senses are overwhelmed we tend to focus on very specific details: the light coming through the window, the stroke of the back of the knuckles on your shoulder, the scent of the pillow. you could say “then she reached orgasm” or you could say “she squeezed her eyes tight. the crackle of electricity in her abdomen snapped taut, and then broke apart in a shower of sparks.” you could say someone was spanked, or you could say there was a crack in the air, and a stinging heat bloomed on their asscheek. don’t just say what happened — say what it felt like, what it looked like, what it smelled and sounded and tasted like. (i mean sometimes you gotta just say what happened or the scene can get too dense…but overall, i opt for relying on sensory description over exposition).

the rest imo is window dressing. are there certain phrases or words you particularly like to read or hear? are you someone who loves or hates the word “pussy” or “dick”? would you rather avoid explicit terms all together, or use them often? or sporadically, for impact?

anyway. like i said these are just my initial late-night first-draft thoughts so they might be rough and they ARE just things that have helped ME (everyone has different thoughts/ideas on this!) but i hope maybe this is a helpful place to start??? also if any of this did not make sense i apologize i am sleepy just lmk and i am happy to expand/clarify

also you are a precious little cherry tart, a springtime crocus, and i love you. please write more smut and allow yourself the freedom of enjoying it. ♡♡♡

[m4ndysk4nkovich]

my thoughts on sandy milkovich:

(buckle up because i have a lot to say, as always)

so, for starters, one thing that i’m not incredibly fond of is how her character isn’t really original. like, it is, but it isn’t. her name is sandy, for christ’s sake- which is literally one letter away from mandy, also not to mention the fact that she was practically raised as mickey’s sister. and in many way’s she’s like a female version of mickey, i’ll explain why:

obviously one way she’s like mickey is that she dated a gallagher, but i think that the way she acts in the relationship is very much like how mickey acts in gallavich. well…acted. more seasons 1-5 gallavich.

she’s a bit less… idk, fearful than mickey was? i mean, it’s understandable why mickey was so fearful- have you seen terry? did you watch 3x666? or 4x11? i would’ve been fearful if i were him, too. we don’t know much about how sandy was raised, but she probably wasn’t raised well. again, she seemingly was raised as mickey’s sister rather than his cousin (he does have a brother who is also his cousin, to be fair, but that’s not what i mean) but sandy’s parents may not have been as threatening or terrifying as terry was. terry does seem to be the most well-known milkovich. everybody knows terry. maybe sandy’s parents were homophobic in a way where they looked down on queer people, but didn’t literally murder them. you can see how much more open she is with the whole “he’s gay, terry. i’m gay. people are gay.”

but sandy can be mean. and so can mickey. i love them both to death but sandy’s fight with debbie in season 11 really reminded me of gallavich in seasons 2/3. specifically “you’re nothing but a warm mouth to me” and “you love me; and you’re gay” she wins the fight by using something to hurt debbie, and it works.

and what was the fight all about? sandy leaving her husband, who she was with as a teenager but felt no love for him whatsoever, and also leaving her kid. sound familiar? ian never held yevgeny and svetlana against mickey, but it’s similar.

and when they break up on the front porch all i, and many other gallavich fans, could think of was “5x12!!!!”

also she was a drug dealer and in juvie and it was implied that she was in prison. this isn’t exclusive to mickey, the only milkovich i can think of (other than yevgeny) who hasn’t been incarcerated is mandy, but we don’t know for sure that she hasn’t been to juvie before. she’s certainly done things that could land her in prison for a very long time.

and i feel like with the same amount of time and development sandy can be as great as her cousin is, because mickey changed A LOT over the seasons which made him even more lovable.

but sandy’s ending was pathetic and i hate the writers for it. it was unnecessary and damaged debbie’s character when she didn’t need it because sandy left literally 4 EPISODES BEFORE THE SERIES FINALE. the only thing that sandy leaving added was the evidence that debbie would stick with franny no matter what, but fuck that, it was too late in the show for most people (not me ofc) to give a shit about that. people overlooked that a lot.

i feel like sandy helped out debbie’s character a lot, while simultaneously fucking her up even more. but i loved sandy for most of her run on the show, i just wish that they had done more- or less. idk. they made her character more complicated than she needed to be, and it’s hard to put my feelings about her into words because they didn’t give us enough to work on.

i think that her relationship with royal was bad, and i think that he was probably a creep who impregnated her, and i bet that he knew she was a lesbian after they got married and things probably got messy. the way that royal described sandy’s choices to prince was good, though. i respected that.

anyway, if they kept making shameless seasons (which they wont) i would love a sandy redemption. possibly like the returns of mickey, jimmysteve, or kelly.

im not reading this over before i post it so if it doesn’t make sense then oh well

[kisskissbanggang]

Provocation pt. 1.5

[2.3k Words, 10min. Read - Lee Know x Bang Chan - Non-Idol!au - SFW, Smut in Other Chapters - Prologue, Bi Awakening, Drinking Culture, Friends with Power Dynamics, Boys Being Boys, Chan is an Ass but so is Minho, Discussion of Past Relationships, Slow Dancing and Developing Feelings, Complete and Sudden Complicating of Friendships]

[The Story So Far | Come Say Hi!]

Chan could talk a corpse out of a grave. And Minho was never one to come out, especially when there were a hundred better things to do, but tonight was big. Mr. Park was actually in town, and when he told Chan to come out and drink, he always came. 

Which meant that Minho also always came.

He always felt strangely responsible for the idiot, even more than Seungmin did. 

And Seungmin was Chan’s favorite, much to Minho’s chagrin. 

It was taking Chan ten whole minutes to let Mr. Park know he definitely was coming back after running to the office while they were in the vicinity. Something ridiculous about leaving his briefcase behind and wanting it for his meeting across town the next morning. This was only round two and the young mogul was already on the downturn. Even Minho felt it, that terrible weight in his gut letting him know that everyone had been a bit too eager with the big boss in town and front loaded the night’s drinking. A break and some fresh air sounded very welcome right now. 

“Hyung,” Minho badgered. 

“I'm just getting a cab,” Chan waved him off, almost empty glass in one hand and his phone in the other. 

Minho snatched the glass and swiftly put it on the table. “Cab?! We’re down the street from the fucking office!”

“Minho,” Chan whined, “I don’t feel like walking.”

“No, walk,” insisted Minho, looping an arm into the elder’s and graciously bidding Mr. Park farewell. “Walking sounds great. Let’s walk.”

Im & Park was literally two blocks away from the hotel bar the gaggle of professionals were currently disrupting. Chan groaned and grumbled all the way out the door, but the second that fresh air hit his nose, his demeanor changed entirely. More relaxed, more fun, more pragmatic: the same Chan that Minho knew, liked, and interned alongside years before. 

“How’s your friend?” Chan asked out of the blue. Minho almost laughed. It was kind of nice, Chan remembering his… Situationship. 

“It’s…” he paused, thinking about it. 

“You like her,” Chan diagnosed. 

Minho sighed. “Yeah. I like her a lot.”

“Careful, dude,” he reminded him. 

“Yeah,” Minho dismissed, “I know.”

“And how’s Jisung?” Chan asked, hands in his pockets. He already loosened his tie. His shirt was opened by a couple buttons. He shrugged, almost justifying his own question. “He didn't come out tonight.”

Minho gave his own shrug and nodded up at their building. “He’s probably still up in the office. You know how he is.”

The older nodded in understanding, palming a thin sheen of sweat off his brow before brushing his fingers back through his hair. Minho was still adjusting to his change back to brown after being blonde for a while. He sort of preferred Chan with the brown hair, though. 

“Jisung needs an assistant,” Chan thought aloud. 

“Jisung?!” the younger laughed. “I agree, but you know he has a hard time letting anyone take over.”

“Maybe an intern,” Chan continued with a nod. “Aside from the quaint little cocktail parties, he never gets out. Anyway, it always looks good when we provide learning opportunities.”

Minho rolled his eyes at the quoting of their fearless leader, Mr. Park. The action made him realize his fringe was growing out a bit long. “You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

The pair were quiet for a bit. Minho fished out his key card for after hours access and the two crossed the vast lobby, their shined shoes echoing on the tile. This was nice. Minho always valued someone who could simply match his energy. That was what he loved about Jisung. That was what he liked about… Her. Her and their whole situation. 

Minho shook his head of all the complications when he pushed the button to call the elevator. 

Maybe now was a good time to bring this up. 

Chan had been acting weird for days, and the only reason he hadn’t been able to bring it up yet was because of inconvenient timing. If Minho was free, Chan was busy, and vice versa. 

“Remember my ex?” Chan asked spontaneously, breaking the silence himself. 

Minho ogled him. “Yeah,” he answered, stunned. “Why?”

“We met up.”

“Oh fuck.”

It was almost hilarious, talking about this girl so vaguely, but while Chan had tons of flings and hookups, he only had one ex since they’d known each other. 

And Chan was a goddamn idiot over it, as far as he was concerned. She was an intern and Chan was… Chan. He was shit with priorities then and only somewhat better now. But leave it to him to have no clue what could've caused the split. Chan came back from New York after a month-long gauntlet of meetings, negotiations, and she’d blocked his number, along with his socials. 

He moped about it for a whole weekend, Minho recalled, dragging him along to the park just so he could gripe about all the happy couples minding their own business. And that was only what he was allowed to witness. Chan usually preferred to do his suffering in private. 

He’d mentioned seeing her at the gallery thing weeks previously, and he told him then. 

Dude, no. 

Leave it the hell alone. 

Chan sighed when the elevator opened. Minho used his key card for the reception area, and this activated all the dim work lights. The two glanced down the hall to the Finance Department, the dark passage confirming that Minho’s brother – thankfully – wasn’t pulling another all-nighter. 

“So,” Minho metered out a sigh. “You met up.”

“Yup,” Chan nodded. “First it was lunch.”

“First?!” he repeated, aghast. 

Chan pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know. And guess what.”

Oh no, Minho worried. He knew exactly what. It wasn’t just Chan’s luck to see her at the gallery thing. It was that he thought he saw her there with the roommate. 

Minho had heard too much about Chan’s roommate in college, the rich, pretty boy who could afford to slack off. 

“You were right?” Minho guessed. 

“Yeah,” Chan nodded, defeated. He swung open the door to his office and immediately made a beeline for his bar by the window. The mogul reached down for the sleek mini fridge on the shelf below. 

“Hyung,” Minho scolded. 

“No,” Chan firmly shook his head. He held a bottle out to Minho. “It’s just beer. Drink, stupid.”

Minho rolled his eyes again and came over, snatching the opener off the cart and opening both their bottles. Chan sank into his desk chair, and Minho pulled up one of the lush seats across him. “So she really is with your old roommate, then.”

“Seo Changbin,” Chan grumbled, a tired shake of his head swishing the sip of beer he just took, like he was washing it down. 

“Bang Chan,” Minho teased. If he had any modicum of self-awareness, he’d know he was probably someone else's Seo Changbin. Chan lifted his gaze back at him. “Was that it?” Minho continued. “You did lunch. And there was something else?”

“Yeah,” Chan admitted. “I offered to see her again–”

“And you call me stupid,” Minho scoffed. 

Chan scowled at him before taking another sip. 

“Sorry, hyung,” giggled Minho into his beer, “continue.”

“She came by the office,” Chan groaned, pressing a shamed hand to his face. “You were out.”

Minho did the same, rubbing his fingers into his temple. “Holy shit, dude.”

“I know,” Chan moaned. 

“And it went…?”

“Terribly,” Chan answered. 

The younger reclined in his seat. “Let me guess. You don’t know why.”

Chan stamped his bottle into the desk surface. “I was perfectly civil!”

“Alright,” lamented Minho. “I thought it was going this way. Walk me through it, then.”

Chan was already out of his chair. 

This wasn't new. Chan regularly walked Minho through his adventures like this, like he was demonstrating for a jury. He flapped his hand at the younger, beckoning him to get up. Spitefully, Minho took his sweet time. 

“Hurry up, dummy.”

Honestly, Minho sort of loved how Chan lost his requisite politeness when he drank. If he went any further, he’d be tidying the office before passing out on the couch. 

Minho arose to his feet, feeling the telltale sway of the beer in his stomach before Chan positioned him behind the chair he’d just been sitting in. Next, Chan jogged back to the bar, but it wasn’t for a drink. Instead, he turned on the record player beside it. 

Fucking Sonata Moonbeam. Of course. 

“Like it was fucking fate, I had this playing when she came in,” Chan heatedly explained. 

“This is one of two records you play!” Minho balked back at him. 

“Shut up,” chided Chan. He rushed back over, motioning to his compatriot. “She’s here. She’s coming in hot. Something about Noah, I'm guessing she passed him on his way out.”

“So she was pissed already,” Minho verified, the hand not wrapped around his beer set indignantly on his hip. 

“Hell yeah,” nodded the older enthusiastically. “Like, clearly not just about Noah. So I calm her down, and we’re slow dancing–”

“Chan,” Minho groaned. “Hyung. You didn’t.”

Meanwhile, his friend had already scooped up one of his hands, the other holding his beer bottle slinging casually around his waist. Minho froze for a moment. 

“Move, stupid,” Chan complained, “I’m demonstrating.”

“Fine.”

This one was new, honestly. Minho had been involved in fake debates, simulated bar fights, and messy recollections of arguments at Chan’s behest – but never a slow dance. He could still smell the elder’s cologne over the booze. Chan’s hand was warm around his. 

“Alright, Casanova,” Minho ribbed. “You got her to dance with you. Then what?”

“Then I apologized.”

This stopped Minho dead for a moment. “You apologized?”

“Right?!” Chan reeled. “I’m showing growth and maturity and I'm telling her how she’s even more gorgeous since she’s gotten so confident–”

“So where did it go wrong, then?” Minho impatiently pushed him along. 

She probably got so confident because she wasn’t around Chan anymore, he mused. 

He wasn’t being fair, he knew that. Chan had grown considerably since then, and maybe even partly due to the whole debacle. But all the grit in Chan’s spirit, the marrow in his bones, it was 100% pride. The humility was for the sake of professionalism only. Chan was good at what he did, so his cockiness felt earned. 

Minho wondered if this was weird. He’d never danced with a guy before, let alone Chan. But it was nice. Chan felt strong against him, sturdy. His shoulders were firm under Minho's arm slung across them, all sinewy muscle. It wasn't like, say, his situationship, with the softer frame and curves. 

Although Minho knew (for some reason) that Chan had plenty of softness, too. Besides drunken hugs or occasional horsing around, Minho hadn't been in such prolonged proximity with the older since the time they shared a bed on a company retreat. It went without saying that Minho would refuse to admit to anyone that he’d thought the same thing then, when Chan had wrapped around him in his sleep. 

“Where did it go wrong?” Chan repeated, snapping Minho out of his internal monologue. “I mean, I made one insinuation, one suggestion–”

“You moron!” Minho bellowed, finally throwing Chan off of him. “What, hyung, you just thought you’d casually tell your vulnerable ex-girlfriend that you're still hot for her?!”

“When you say it like that it makes me sound like a prick!” Chan accused. 

“Because you are!” Minho confirmed, burying his face in his hands. “Oh my god,” he moaned. “What did you do? Do we need to consult someone? I’m not saying you did anything on purpose but it’s not like that’d invalidate her feeling–”

“Jesus Christ,” Chan frowned, “it wasn’t like that. Come here.”

Minho immediately capitulated, as usual, letting Chan reel him in again. However, there was an adjustment. Chan took Minho’s beer, setting both bottles on the desk. One hand resumed holding Minho’s, all cozy against Chan’s shoulder, but the other pressed right into the small of Minho’s back, and then slid up. 

“So we started here,” Chan explained, before sliding the hand back down, “and we ended up here. Fine, right?” Minho’s heart thumped, and again when Chan made eye contact. 

He nodded, caught off guard for a beat. “Yeah, hyung. Seems fine so far.”

“And we’re being super sweet, things are civil,” Chan continued, except now his temple leaned into Minho’s. His breath hitched in his throat. “We had this thing, when we were together,” Chan continued, voice lower due to his proximity to Minho’s ear. “I’d tell her how good she was for me. She loved it. I told her that the other day.”

Good for me. 

Minho loved it, too, for one split second. It was a flash of delusion. Whether it was him being good for Chan or Chan being good for him, he wanted it for one mortifying second. 

This was insane. Minho was slow dancing in Chan’s office, with Chan’s hand nearly on his ass. 

Minho backed up a solid step, grabbing his beer in a flustered haze. Chan ogled him. 

“God,” Minho wheezed, shoving down all his confused feelings between manic sips. “Only you would bring something like that up to your ex and wonder why everything went wrong.”

Chan let out a frustrated sigh, shaking his head while he grabbed his own bottle and took a drink as well. “You’re so helpful.”

“You could always ask Seungmin,” Minho argued. “I know he’s your favorite.”

“Seungmin?” asked Chan, fully thrown off. “Why would I ask Seungmin? You’re my best friend. I trust you the most.”

Chan set his beer down and strode over to the closet built into the wall, grabbing his briefcase and making sure his laptop and folio were inside. He snapped it shut. “Come on,” he nodded towards the door. “Fuck round three. I need some sleep before my meeting.”

“Sure, hyung,” Minho nodded. 

However, Chan paused by the door. “You’re good for me, too, you know that?” he winked. 

Minho answered him with an automatic punch to his perfect shoulders. “Please, shut the fuck up, hyung.”