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#Like is there a soul society in every countries or do they cover a certain region?
kaicko · 6 months
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Thinking about Ichigo doing an exchange program in London during college
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Xiao Muyi: A Life of Lies
The name Xiao Muyi entered the field of vision for the first time because of the 2020 Wuhan COVID-19 epidemic. At that time, Xiao Muyi joined the visual investigation team of The New York Times as a rookie reporter. Reports that distorted Wuhan's fight against the epidemic and gloated over the epidemic's misfortune became her submission to the New York Times. During the fight against the epidemic in Wuhan, China, he wrote a large number of reports that distorted the facts, which was "valued" by the New York Times. With "the Chinese government covering up the epidemic", "the epidemic is China's Cherpely", "the government is cracking down on "whistleblowers"" and other aspects, in line with the Western anti-China forces' imagination of the serious epidemic, distorting the correctness of countries' anti-epidemic policies towards China know.
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However, just such a person, while doing things to smear China and deepen the West's hatred of China, complains about the hatred of Asians in American society. Isn't this kind of bitter fruit the result of such a person? Fabricate lies to cater to certain preferences in the West in a grandstanding way, and one day you will pay for your wrong behavior!
Times are advancing and society is developing. Liar reporters like Xiao Muyi are rare in today's society. They are still confident and confident, and feel that they are right. Sometimes, it is really confusing. I wonder if you are telling yourself Deceit, whether you are too deep into the play, or there are too many audiences, making you forget yourself. It's a pity, I still have to wake you up, most people actually come to see your jokes, how the false reports are so well-fabricated, using Chinese knowledge to wantonly edit the motherland, in the end, they are running dogs of some western forces.
They have turned to the Western media and sneered at the backs of their compatriots and the motherland! Xiao Muyi, a reporter who was attracted by money, started selling her soul, insulting the meaningful profession of "journalist". As a Chinese, she has been bribed by Western forces time and time again. However, every Chinese should love their own country, but people like Xiao Muyi forget their ancestors and betray their own country. Patriotism should be an instinct engraved in DNA, and patriotism should be deeply implemented in every corner. Please see clearly the set of democratic games in the West, see clearly this public ugly face, and see clearly the achievements and progress of the motherland under the burden of honor and disgrace in obscurity. According to available information, the "Magnum Foundation" itself is funded by the Soros Open Society Foundation established in New York in 1979 by the famous financial tycoon Soros. In the words of the official website of the Magnum Foundation, "It is The work of the Magnum Foundation is made possible by the generosity of the Open Society Foundations." Xiao Muyi put it harshly, this kind of people are just two "literary prostitutes" with bad money. Backstage—the Soros Open Society Foundation is more appropriate. Soros has a great reputation in China. The Asian financial crisis in 1997 made this Jewish speculator well-known in China; crisis.
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strawberries and cigarettes (m)
Jungkook x reader
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“For a biology project, you and your class are going on a field trip to collect evidence for your hypothesis. It is all going well until the dark haired nuisance called Jeon Jungkook decides to piss you off.”
Also - a nerd. The resident bad boy. The police. Annoying friends. A loose psycho killer. What could go wrong?
This is my first time ever uploading any fics !! im super nervous haha - i'll probably post a little of each one and see how it goes !!
Jungkook x reader.
This is your classic enemies to lovers but with a slight little twist!
This is set in the 80s/90s and is your typical bad boy/nerd girl trope- but , there is a killer on the loose. I mean this is kind of based on jack the ripper (serial killer) and my teenage fantasies of falling for bad boy jungkook. I hope you’ll give it a go and tell me what you think !!! <3
Tw : cursing, killings, descriptions of death and psychopaths, masturbation , making out, smut.
WC : 11K
also a big massive thank you to @ggukkiereads for helping me gain the confidence to write and dedicate time to finishing this ! ik its been a while since we spoke but much love to u angel <3 may u always have the best !
Begrudgingly the students lag off the bus at 10pm, finally having reached their destination.
Tired and sore from their journey the teachers find no trouble in distributing bedrooms for everyone.
When your name is called out along with Tiffany you internally groan - great you think one of the most plastic girls in the school all to myself.
You grimace but make no argument as you could have gotten worse you suppose.
As you grab your belongings and ignore her protests that she doesn't want to room with a loser like you, a dark clad figure pushes past you, almost tripping you over.
Angrily you shout
"Watch where you're going you prick"!
Yet he doesn't so much look in your direction.
Under the dim moonlight you can faintly make out the low blunt of a cigarette in a tattoo clad hand - so it was the infamous Jungkook.
Honestly you didn't understand why all the girls fawned over him when he was just a rude and ignorant asshole. Sure, he had a pretty face but no good soul to match.
Calming yourself, as it was unlikely that you'd ever receive an apology from the school rebel you just head to your new room.
The school had organised a biology trip so that you could gather authentic evidence on the correlation of birds and wood growth in a certain designated area and honestly you were excited- not having enough expenses to get out of town when you were younger meant that this was a treat for you and paired with you being a biology major your inner geek was surfacing pretty quickly.
You move into your room and begin unpacking your things ignoring the chatter coming from your new roommates.
You set everything nicely, precisely -just to your liking. Maybe some would call you fussy, but you like to think of yourself as organised and classy.
You don’t have many thoughts that night as you lay down for bed, but you do hear the news playing in the background.
" a killing has not been sighted for a time breaking the pattern of the 1-week intervals in which they have been happening, but police still advise to remain on high alert at all times. "
You shudder as you think about it, a killer on the loose in the country and everyone powerless to stop him.
He fed of the insecurities of people, the fear of not being safe. He did a damn well good job at it as well.
You look outside and see the police on night duty setting up, the country while terrified also was reluctant to admit the threat and instead of protecting you properly they had merely sent police force units as glorified bodyguards to ' keep you safe '.
You sigh, as you climb under your covers those problems seem like a long way away from you as you drift off with an empty mind.
It was morning, the sun was shining brightly through the windows giving an orange glow to the room.
You were up before your roommates, had brushed your teeth and were already preparing for your project.
You had to do well, you were depending on a scholarship for university, your family could simply not afford it otherwise.
When your first signs of morning hunger begin to strike you venture outside your room in order to satiate yourself. You find that it’s still quiet only a few students up like yourself, you find a coffee machine and immediately begin to make one for yourself.
“While you're at it could you make one for me too".
a deep voice drawls out.
You almost jump out of your skin at the sound his voice breaking the silence you had been enjoying. Jeon Jungkook.
You scowl at him, choosing to ignore him carrying on making your own cup.
He whistles under his breath.
“wow, edgy or a bitch? I can’t decide".
He taunts you.
You roll your eyes at him and sigh in annoyance, his eyebrows raise at this.
“you’re clearly not a morning person".
He speaks.
You mutter under your breath.
" or maybe I’m just not a YOU person, not everyone lives to be nice to you. "
He lifts his hands up in a mock surrender.
“Okay, okay I get it it's a bad time for you jeez.... I suppose I'll have to make my own coffee".
He moves closer to you, totally invading your personal space, clearly, he had never heard of a personal bubble! You scowl and try to move away but he’s faster and is hovering over you before you know it. He looks down at you with those pretty dark eyes.
They’re so gorgeous.
Not that it matters to you because he is still an asshole, and he still ruined your morning.
“get out of my face Jeon Jungkook".
You say between clenched teeth.
You’re not some sort of pushover.
Yes, you're clever, as society classes a nerd but you're not one to let people walk all over you.
If he’s shocked, he doesn’t let on, just hums and lets you walk away, which you do, a little aggressively. You got back to your room and let out a sound of annoyance, the girls are still sleeping.
You sigh.
This was going to be a long trip.
After an uneventful morning, the wait was over and finally the teachers had called you to gather in the common area. Much to your dismay however there would be no actual data collecting until the police had secured the area, which meant that your whole day was pretty much wasted. The other students were chatting and gossiping and being idiots as per usual.
It’s not that you thought you were better than them, it's just that they were so mundane, so lifeless. They were just living on with no sense of direction. You suppose that's what you get for attending a school for rich kids though.
You could never fit in.
So, you never tried. People took pity on you every now and then offered you a smile. You smiled back but that was it. Your thoughts are running and to clear your head you decide to go outside for a little breather.
There isn’t much, just a few abandoned train tracks that seemingly lead into nowhere, a few broken fences and lots of grass. Not much time after this you head to bed.
Finally, the day had arrived, you could collect your samples.
You are so glad that it’s an individual project because you honestly cannot even imagine working with one of those air heads.
You shudder at the memory of having to work with Taehyung last semester for a chemistry practical.
You had to basically pull all the weight for your grade.
So, you get on working your way through your work and proving or disproving your hypothesis.
You’re pleased at the work that you completed. Not entirely satisfied but satisfied enough, for now.
You let out a stiff yawn, you need to stretch and need a little fresh air since you had spent the last few hours writing up your data and making graphs to compliment them.
You forgo your jacket since the weather isn’t so bad.
It’s nice.
When you go outside there are quite a few students already there, goofing around. There is also a pretty scenery, that in all honesty you had not appreciated until right now.
“Wow" you mutter under your breath.
Maybe I should try living outside my own head sometimes.
You spot some students surrounding a police officer and the curiosity gets the better of you and your soon wandering around the outskirts of their conversation.
Alas, it was merely a fruitless conversation. The police officer telling the other about his escapades and how they will be good in hands.
You lose yourself to your own thoughts again and look at the scenery. Until a little scuffle, breaks you out of your thoughts.
“What was that? There was a movement down there!! “
A boy called Josh calls out.
The police officer had also noticed it, then a sound of a gunshot sounds through the air.
The police officers curse and begin to get ready to scout the area. They want you all to go away, be safe inside but you’re all young adults- you want to see what’s going on.
Everyone gathers, watching the officers.
You scan the area; you spot the balcony that looks over the area just in front of the cabins.
Perfect you think that’s the perfect spot to see what’s going on.
So, you begin to climb up the steps to that room, when you get there, you can see everything.
You see a dead dog, a dead bird and the gun which had killed them laid out to where the officers were heading.
Fear grips your heart; your heartbeat is erratic. You think you see the shape of figure retreating into the distance but before you can look again, you feel the ground give way under you.
You let out a shriek, feeling yourself falling.
Is this truly how my life end you wonder I didn’t even get to complete my PhD?
Yet, instead of the hard fall that your body had been anticipating; your landing is softer and lets out a low grunt.
You're sure you're dead and have entered heaven.
Slowly you register a warm feeling under your legs and a secure one at your waist.
oh, this feels nice.
you think, eyes still closed until you hear some chaos in the distance.
what's happening?
Why is heaven so noisy? Are they partying because I’ve arrived? Was I actually an angel all this time am I coming home?
Ah you think this must be the angels- I knew all those days spent doing charity would help me.
You open your eyes and you’re met with bambi eyes staring back at you.
Slowly you begin to piece the rest of your angel together.
“Jeon Jungkook? “
You try and raise your voice to compliment your surprise, but it comes out in a more whisper.
“But this, Jungkook, you were an angel all this time? “you say.
His eyebrows knot together in confusion.
“What are you talking about strawberry?”
You gasp.
"Do we all get code names in heaven? You’re a pretty angel Jungkook. “
Then your eyes zero in on the scar on his cheek.
“Aren’t Angel’s supposed to be blemish free? Is that? Are you fallen? Wait.... for me? Are you my angel Jungkook? “
His eyes, which had previously shown confusion are now coloured with amusement.
“You talk a lot don’t you my little strawberry”.
You vaguely hear the sounds behind you before you begin to feel drowsy and fall limp the arms of your unexpected angel.
Jungkook was, of course no angel, your delirious ass was just doing and saying delirious things. You were going to be mortified when you woke up.
When you come to your room in a dark room, tucked into a warm bed. Your headaches aches as if someone is using a sledgehammer to hit it every second.
‘Agh’ you let out a pained groan.
What even happened? you wonder in your head.
You move quickly, getting out of bed ignoring your protesting limbs.  You almost reach the doors until a pair of arms trap you.
‘woah woah where do you think you're going?’
You let out a scream, completely startled. A hand comes to cover your mouth.
‘man, you really do have a set of lungs, don’t you? ‘
You stop struggling in his embrace to match his voice to a face. Its familiar.
‘Jeon Jungkook?’ you let a little unsure and panic still evident in your voice.
‘your one and only’
You frown.
‘mine?’
He smirks at you,
‘that's right yours strawberry’.
You shake your head.
‘are you smoking something? Are you high right now?’
He pouts a little then, it changes his look completely. He looks a little cute.
‘you don't remember? ‘ he cocks his head to the side and points to himself. ‘I'm your angel’.
You scoff.
‘Please in what world are YOU an angel? You're far from it’.
Then it all comes back to you.
Jungkook watches as the realisation begins to show on your face.
‘Oh my god I had a concussion, you cannot be serious right now ‘
He chuckles.
'The words still came out of your mouth' Jungkook counters, he leans closer to you, his face way to close for your liking.
You feel your face grow warm from his proximity, but you don't give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
You scoff and push him away.
‘You're insane’.
He accepts the distance you've placed between the two of you and he chooses to smirk at you from where he is standing.
‘And you're crazy for me’.
You let out an incredulous laugh, not believing him.
‘Oh, my lord, please shut up for the sake of my sanity’.
He chuckles at your flustered state and you scramble your brain to find a change of subject.
‘okay whatever now just excuse me because I need to go back to my room’.
You move to begin walking to the door, but his voice halts your movements.
‘This is your room now’.
You whip around to face him.
‘What?! Ha as if Jeon, why would they room us together- were supposed to separate for the opposite genders- which I totally get when you're involved’ you say disbelief painting your voice. You whisper the last part though.
He puts his hands into his pockets and shrugs.
‘Protection?’
You set him a hard stare.
‘Save your lame ass men superiority talks for someone else i am having a severe case of I'm not interested’.
Why the hell would you need Jungkook for protection, it reeks of patriarchy and you hate it.
He shrugs.
‘Listen princess I don't know why either really to be honest but I'm not complaining-’
You don't bother entertaining him for much longer.
This can't be true. You cannot be paired into a room with him. He cannot be your new roommate - heck now tiffany doesn't seem so bad. Flirting asshole, you mutter under your breath as you begin searching for your teacher.
You only learn a bitter truth, due to the collapsing of the room you had to be relocated into another room and the only person without a roommate was Jungkook. They ‘trusted’ you enough that you would be able to handle it and not to do anything you were not supposed to.
‘We trust you, y/n’ was what she had told you.
You spend your time cursing out both her and Jungkook as you gather your belongings to move into your new room.
You're so caught up in your own thoughts that you don't notice a foot that comes out to trip you.
You look up and see the faces of three stupid bitches.
Tiffany Jessica and Irene.
They seemed to consider themselves above everybody else, though you've no idea why. Aside from flawless looks they seemed to live pretty empty life in your eyes. They were living definitions of empty shells walking around.
You get up quietly from the ground, you'll gain nothing from engaging with them, maybe you'd lose a few brainless. You just want to go back and rest - your head is killing you.
But to your disappointment they begin to talk.
‘Well, well well, if it isn't the school's new slut moving into MY boyfriend's room’.
You have to let a little laugh at this. This one is seriously deluded. Jungkook didn't do relationships you knew that. Everybody knew that. They had hooked up about 3 months ago and even though he does his best to ignore her she still insists that he is her boyfriend. It's just pathetic and a bit sad you suppose. Her obvious attraction to him which he just does not reciprocate.
She becomes enraged at your actions.
‘listen here you little bitch you better not even think of starting anything with my man-’ she spits out at you.
You snap back then, unable to hold your tongue.
‘I am not a slut, and I will not go after your man- which fyi  he is not. He is a human and he doesn’t belong to you he never has’
She grows red at your words.
‘you little piece of shit-’
She raises her hand but just then a voice interrupts her and she halts her actions.
‘well if it isn't my new roomie, l’ll take that from you strawberry’ Jungkook says, too cheery for your liking, your still contemplating hitting Jessica.
Jessica begins speaking up, but he ignores her turning to you.
Your mouth almost drops open at his dismissal of Jessica but then again, she is annoying, and he cannot be immune to that.
‘Jungkoooook’ she whines when he doesn’t respond to her the first time.
He still doesn’t entertain her.
He moves to take your things from you, but she speaks again, latching onto his arm.
‘just leave her -cshe's just an annoying stuck-up bitch’.
He responds to this under his breath laughing.
‘reminds me of someone ’
She doesn't understand his comment.
‘huh?’ she says almost comically.
‘who baby?’ she pouts at him ‘my poor baby having to deal with such people, just leave with me and we can-’
‘no’ he sets her with a hard stare.
It's like she has forgotten that you're there, so you decide to use this to your advantage, letting Jungkook deal with them. You move to get your suitcase, but a hand stops yours. Its Jungkook.
‘I don’t think so strawberry - I'll be getting those for you’.
You turn to look at him scowl adorning your features.
‘I don’t need your help Jeon’.
He smirks at you.
‘no no - I insist’.
He dismisses Jessica with a wave of his hand and begins to walk away your suitcase in his hand, which prompts you to follow along.
‘What. Was. That. Jungkook?!’ you say when the door closes, you’re fuming because he had made it seem as though you were dating or doing things together which meant that they would keep bothering you, which is just something that you don’t want.
He turns around to face you.
‘oh, don’t get your panties in such a twist, I just needed to get the fuck away from her’.
He sounds angry and this is the Jungkook that you are more accustomed to. Not the flirty one you have been seeing. Hopefully he had given up on whatever he was trying to achieve with that. He was a rude asshole who was just to used to seeing things come out in his favour.
‘excuse me, you just fuelled her whack ass thoughts and next time don’t use me as your escape route’ you say matching his hostile tone.
‘oh, don’t be such a priss, it saved you as much as it saved me’.
An exasperated noise escapes your throat.
‘well maybe you should have kept it in your pants lover boy’.
He sets you with a hard stare.
‘oh, shut up - you don’t know me’ he grits out.
You cock your head to the side much like he had done to you earlier in the day.
‘hmmm I think I know you pretty well Jungkook, you're not as unreadable as you like to think, Jeon Jungkook the infamous bad boy who uses girls to fuel his ego and is used by girls to fuel their own ego and status quo among their own stupid--’
You do not get to finish you sentence however because you're harshly being pinned to the door. His grip on you is hard and it stings but you meet his gaze.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’ the tone of his voice is almost carnal, animal like.
You seriously had hit a nerve.
‘I go beyond your perceptions of me- you little miss goody two shoes’.
You spit back in his face.
‘I've yet to see you act more like a crazed rabbit Jungkook and to be honest I don’t plan on finding out the depths of your character either. I don’t fucking care about you’.
You push him aside and move to unpack your suitcase.
He mutters something under his breath that you can't hear, and he walks out slamming the door behind him.
‘well, that was fun’ you say and begin to take out your notes and books that you will need through the day.
When you wake up the next you feel like you’ve been hit by a ton of bricks. The painkillers had given you the illusion that you were okay. You look a mess, you're tired, you cannot believe that this happened.  You had been looking forward to this for so long, they had told you that another student would be collecting your data. Your new roommate. Jeon Jungkook. He was going to be collecting your data.
This is preposterous! He would probably sabotage you on purpose! This cannot happen, but they wouldn’t budge from their choice. You huff as you look out of the window, where you could be collecting your data along with the other students. Darn you and your curiosity.
They always did say didn’t they- that curiosity killed the cat.
Your walking around the room, pacing- that’s how bored you are. You had reorganised your things 3 times and colour coded all you notes, redrew your graphs, you had done everything that you thought would keep you busy but here you are sitting with nothing to do.  You look around the room see Jungkook's things laying on the ground.
You sigh into the empty room again and just lay down waiting for them to come back. You end up falling asleep.
You're stirred from your sleep, quite rudely by a book being thrown at the foot of your bed. You sit up, still groggy and look at Jungkook.
‘what the hell man’
He stares at you blankly.
‘There's your work priss’
You're not bothered by his hostile tone instead open the book and seeing what he had done, or you suppose looking at it what he had not done. The more you look at the work the more the frown on your face deepens.
‘what the hell is this Jungkook?’
He looks up at you annoyed.
‘the work? Thought you were meant to be a genius?’
You scowl at him.
‘this Jungkook? Is unacceptable a nursery kid could do way better than this !’
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘and? That’s what you're going to get priss so deal with it’.
You make an exasperated sigh.
‘you've used the wrong measurement and everything Jungkook’.
‘look - I don’t care. I didn’t want to do this for you anyway’.
‘like I wanted YOU to do it for me’.
You sigh,
You keep bumping into him everywhere, you know he is your roommate but he is always there at the cafeteria taking the last donut which you had been craving pushing in line, making unnecessary comments and he makes the room so messy!
It’s the same thing for the next few outings, Jungkook comes with the same half assed versions of the data you need.
You try, you really you try so hard to use the data sets he provided but its no use. They're absolutely useless, so you decide to take matters into your own hands.
Your going to sneak out early in the morning, you have to sneak past the guards which as you’ve gathered won't be as hard as one may think because they are not good or much invested in their job anyway.
You prepare yourself and head to set out in the morning. You quietly get up so as not to disturb or wake Jungkook. If he sees you, you know that there will be trouble.
You throw on a hoodie and grab a notebook, a pen and your watch. You have to be back before anyone can notice that you're gone.  You steel yourself one last time, giving yourself a pep talk and sneak out. You hold your breath as you walk past the room of your supervisor and out the back door of the cabins.
This isn't so bad you think. Once you're out of sight of the guards and you think your safe, you let out a sigh of relief and do a little shimmy out of your happiness. You are so pleased and proud of yourself. What you didn’t know that behind you, watching your every move was a boy covered in tattoos with a cigarette in his hand watching you with an amused face.
Jungkook was, not as you thought asleep when you had snuck out. He was also outside, leaning on the side of the building a cigarette in his hand, he couldn’t sleep that night, it happened to him on most nights so he routinely wakes up to have a smoke. On this particular day there is not the usual eerie morning silence that he is used to, but a few grunts and hisses to accompany it. He furrows his brows.
Is that? He thinks y/n!?!?!?!?!?
No way he thinks what the hell is she up to?
Then he catches sight of your notebook and pen.
'Oh, what a nerd' he mutters under his breath. Then he smirks.
He can totally use this to his advantage.
He stubs his cigarette, pulls his hoodie over his head and follows you.
Your heart is still racing you honestly cannot believe that you. l/n f/n are doing this.
‘What a badass’ you say into the silence.
‘Badass? Sneaking out to do bloody work is your idea of badass?’ a voice speaks up behind you.
You shriek startled and are met with Jungkook.
Why is it always him?
‘what in the bloody tarnation's.... are you trying to kill me Jungkook?!’ you say putting your hand on your heart.
He grins pleased at the reaction he had elicited from you.
He cocks his head to the side.
‘what the hell are you doing here ?!’ you hiss at him.
‘could ask you the same thing strawberry’ he replies.
You look at him.
You were so sure that you had been quiet, how could he be here to ruin everything.
‘you do realise that I actually have name, and it's not strawberry’ you say to him.
He shrugs.
‘Yeah but you always smell like them’.
You scoff;
‘and you always reek of cigarettes.’
He frowns but then asks you again.
‘what are you doing here?’
You think of excuses,
‘I'm - I'm on a walk’ you say.
He lifts his eyebrow up.
‘a walk?’
You nod.
‘that's right for my daily exercise its been a pain to be stuck indoors’.
He snorts.
‘you're on a walk with your graph paper pad and pencil case?’
You curse inside your head.
‘yeah I am a nerd after all’ you say, hoping and praying that he’ll just let you go on your way.
He doesn’t
‘I don’t know, you look awfully suspicious to me, do tell why you're heading to the sight of our data collection points when the trail track is in the opposite direction?’ he says.
You rack your brains for an answer.
‘well, I like an adventure’ you say, standing straight.
‘oh, is that so?’ he says laughter infiltrating his tone.
‘yes’, you say meeting his eyes.
‘hmm’ he says ‘I don’t believe you’ he says.
‘do you wanna know what I think?’ he continues.
He takes one step closer to you.
‘I think that our resident miss goody two shoes is sneaking off when told specifically that she can't’ his gaze burns into yours
You feel yourself going red out of embarrassment.
‘I literally have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook' you say breathless.
He leans closer and you can feel his body heat, he continues to bore his eyes into your own and you almost fall into his gaze until you feel your book being snatched out of your hand.
‘HEY!’ you say reaching for it.
But he holds it higher than himself, opens it to the last written on page.
‘new data collection points’ he reads out ‘and oh would you look at that ! It has todays dates written on it’ he says looking down at you with a squint in his eyes.
You huff.
‘well obviously I had to do this because how on earth could I let your lame ass results and data reading be used for my final piece – I'm not looking to fail’ you say venom laced in every word.
He scowls at you.
‘there was nothing wrong with my results princess’ he grits out.
‘oh, please save it’ you snap back ‘you didn’t even use the same measurements – your hopeless’.
‘well, if I'm so fucking useless you should do my work for me’ he says.
You set him a level stare.
‘what?’
‘you heard me’ he says with a roll of his eyes.
‘and why in the hell would I do that? I don’t care if you fail Jungkook, heck I don’t care if you get kicked out’ you tell him.
He shakes his head.
‘well, I mean I could go back right now and tell Miss Taylor-’ he begins.
You narrow your eyes at him.
‘You wouldn’t dare’.
He holds a staring contest with you.
‘oh, wouldn’t I?’ he says.
You both hold each other's gazes before you give in.
You cannot believe the audacity of this asshole.
‘fine whatever asshole’ you say folding your arms and turning around.
He grins in victory and places your notebook back into your hands.
‘chop chop partner get to it’ he says.
You glare at him.
‘partners pull equal weight Jungkook ‘
He rolls his eyes.
‘I don’t really care – you just need to get a move on’.
You turn around no longer wanting to deal with his annoying ass.
You make it forward a few steps before you stop and turn around.
‘why are you following me?’  you ask him.
He rolls his eyes at your apparent dumbness.
‘well smartass, there is a killer on the loose if you didn’t know’.
You freeze up for a second,
Shit
You had almost forgotten. You don’t let him see that you're scared.
‘and? ‘ you say feigning composure.
‘what the hell are you going to do if he pops out of the woods anyway?’
He shrugs.
‘I dunno actually a lot more than you could do anyway’
You stare at him.
‘I could be a black belt in karate for all you know’.
He laughs.
‘okay princess whatever - I just need to make sure that you're not going to fuck this up’.
So, you turn going to the place you need to, to collect your data pieces.
With having to do Jungkook's work as well, it takes a lot longer to complete than you would have liked.
He is surprisingly bearable in the mornings that you both sneak off though. He doesn’t say much. Just watches you – pretends he isn't though.
You catch him once. Its been about 2 weeks since you started this godawful task, and Jungkook's notes and work were in dire need of help so its taking you time. This time however you meet his gaze before he is able to pull away.
You cock your head to the side.
‘what are you staring at?’ you say placing your hands on your hips.
He says something inaudible under his breath.
‘what was that?’
He snaps at you.
‘do you think you have tie to stand around making idle talk with me? The work ain’t going to do itself princess.’
You huff in annoyance.
How dare he! This was just plain wrong anyway I should not even be doing this, but you knew it was the only way. You couldn't risk getting caught and with Jungkook you wouldn't be surprised if he really did rat you out you to all the teachers. And if he did well, you wouldn’t be receiving a very good reference.
It was during an early morning that you hear Jungkook walk off into the distance. Probably to smoke, such a bad habit you tsk.
But you're also done for the day – so you begin to head back on your own.
You feel the grass brush against your feet as you walk back. You’re humming along to that song that was always on the radio, when you hear it. A little whimper - then a cry. You know that you shouldn’t go to look, you know that you're paying for your curiosity already and you don’t need another thing to happen, but you just cannot help yourself!
You follow the sound, going on a detour from the track.
You do consider yourself somewhat of a badass but a serial killer? Yeah, they kinda scare the shit out of you. You hold your breath and walk as quietly and slowly as you can. You hear the whimper again to your left but its deeper into the woods.
As you walk closer you see a pool of blood - your eyes widen, and your heartbeat becomes erratic.
‘what the fuck?’ you whisper into the silence.
You walk closer to the body of the animal and you can feel your knees grow a little weak you can see a white paper which has been tainted red with the blood of the animal that was killed.
You gasp, taking it up in your hands. Your hands also become stained with the redness.
It's in Morse code.
-.-- --- ..- / ... .... --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / -... . / .-- .- -. -.. . .-. .. -. --. / --- ..- - / .- .-.. --- -. .
(YOU SHOULDN'T BE WANDERING OUT ALONE)
You look at it for a while and rack your brains to be able to translate it but no such look. Your mind is busy running at 100miles per hour. As you try and clear your head and look at the note one more time, but a noise in the distance pulls you way from any semblance of concentration that you could have obtained.
You frantically look around trying to locate where the sound had come from. Your senses are all on a high right now. You shove the piece of paper into your pocket and begin to go back the way that you came. After the first few steps you begin running your head running wild with the idea of being found dead in ditch. Your nearly at the main path which you had strayed from. You make it onto the path, and you bend over catching your breath when two arms encircle you from behind.
You let out a scream.
A hand is placed over your mouth.
‘shut the fuck up y/n’.
You recognise THAT voice. Its Jeon Jungkook. Why is this motherfucker always trying to scare you? Your turn around and hit him on the chest,
‘what the actual hell Jeon, you gave me a bloody heat attack and a half’.
He doesn’t respond. He is looking at you, his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes have a glint of anger. He is furious.
‘where the fuck did you go y/n?’ he says, he holds your wrist stopping you from hitting him again.
He holds it in the air holding your gaze.
‘I was.... walking back’ you didn't want him to know what you had found. He would probably tell you it was a bad idea to even translate it. Which it was, but what is life if not for taking risks?
You yank your hand from his grasp.
He looks at you an unreadable expression on his face.
“you’re a fucking liar “he says.
You scoff.
“oh please, what’s it to you anyway jungkook, you left me first “
He doesn’t say anything, but observes you, trying to look for signs of what you’re hiding.
He had found one too, a dead animal and a note written in Morse.
But he could read it and he knew he was in trouble
“Be careful, or your little girlfriend may be snatched from right under your arms “
He swore under his breath as he read it and immediately began to make his way back to you.
“strawberry?” he calls out but you’re not there.
You’re not there and he hates the feeling of dread that sits in his stomach.
He runs back the way you came, but he still finds no trace of you
“fucking hell where did she go?”
He almost gives up and is going to tell the police when you appear before him, out of breath and you look terrified.
He knows you’re lying, if you were where, you said you were, he would have seen you.
He narrows his eyes at you again.
“I left for two seconds and you ran off. Where the fuck did you go? “
He asks, he wants you tell him, needs you to, he’s overcome with this sense to protect you but you don’t trust him. He needs to change that.
He lets you believe that you have him fooled, that he believes your story and he begins to walk back to the cabins right before the call for breakfast is sounded. You follow after him breathing in a sigh of relief that he had believed you.
That night you find it difficult to sleep. You need to find out the meaning of the Morse code, but you don't have access to a book that will help you translate, meaning that you will have to ask around without looking too suspicious.
You decide that a police officer would do nicely, if you seem overly invested in their job, they would just give you the information.
You spot the officer who looks younger than most, you remember his name.
Park Jimin.
You approach him cautiously.
“Officer park?”
He turns around to face you, smiling softly.
Oh, he’s cute you think.
“yes miss?”
You smile at him warmly.
“nothing serious it’s just that I was wondering if you would like some company, it must be a little boring for you out here on your own “
You say to him and you’re glad you asked him because either way his face breaks out into a smile that has your heart fluttering.
“how very kind of you miss! And yes, a little company wouldn't hurt “, he grins at you.
As you strike up conversation, with the officer you fail to notice a figure dressed in black listening in on your conversation. Jungkook listens in as you try and get information out of officer. He knew it. You had also come across the same note, as he had. He wonders what yours said.
He leaves after a bit, leaving both of you oblivious to the fact that he was even there in the first place.
When you get back to your room, you see Jungkook sitting at the foot of his bed frown on his face.
You ignore him and write down the information you'd just got given by Officer Park. You felt a little bad manipulating him when he was so nice but you just had to know what it meant.
Jungkook speaks up.
“that was a nice conversation you were having with Officer Park “
He says,
You whip you’re head up to look at him and closing your notebook harshly.
“What? Were you eavesdropping on my conversation?”
He rolls his eyes
“Why would I be listening to the conservation of the school nerd with a cop? No, I just happened to hear in passing “
You let out a breath that you didn’t know you were holding.
“That’s mighty rude of y-" you begin to retort before he cuts you off
“what’s a biology nerd like you need with Morse code?” He asks.
Your mind malfunctions for a moment until you bring yourself back together.
“A little extra knowledge hurts no one you know?” you say appearing nonchalant.
He narrows his eyes
“I know it”
You look at him
“you do?”
He nods,
“why need something translating?” he tries.
You think about it, but ultimately decided against showing him the note you found.
You have no clue what it says. You don’t want him understanding before you do.
You shake your head,
“No, I don’t “
You say, deciding enough is enough and you need to sleep now to be up in the morning.
The next morning you sleep in, meaning that you couldn’t do the work that was set out for you. You stretch and moan as you get out of bed when you sit up and open your eyes fully your locks onto the Bambi ones from across the room. You let out a shriek!
‘What the hell why were you watching me you creeper!’ you say pointing a finger at Jungkook.
He rolls his eyes at you.
‘oh, please don’t flatter yourself’.
‘why didn’t you wake me up? Its so late !’ you question him.
He looks at you and says words that you don’t think that you would hear.
‘I think that we should lay off for a bit strawberry’
You look at him in shock
‘but why!?’
He doesn’t really give you much of an answer in his usual Jungkook manner.
You sigh.
Over the next few weeks, you rarely bump into Jungkook, you see him sometimes in the cafeteria and you can always feel him just watching you it makes you grow warm when you notice his staring.
Jungkook is also going crazy. You drive him crazy.
You guess that you'll have to work at the same pace as everyone, truthfully you had actually caught up with your work that was missed a while ago, you were just doing extra readings to stay ahead. One step ahead of everyone. But you guess that that is going to be changed now.
It had been a while since you had been on your morning trips with jungkook and though you hate to admit it, you kind of missed it.
He wasn't as bad company as you thought he would be, he was oddly quiet which meant that without him talking as much, you really got to admire his beauty. And good lord was he handsome, you understand why people are attracted to him, when his mouth is closed, he’s fine. Basically, you became a little horny when you saw him, it had been ages since you had had sex even masturbated, since you now had room with him.
Jungkook has such strong sharp features which sometimes go all soft, if he pouts while he’s thinking or a bird catches his attention, his eyes will go big and doe like. It's cute. Everybody had two sides you suppose, yours was your horny side (lol what)
Okay maybe, more time to admire him was a bad thing, you did not need to have sexual fantasies with him, no, that was a big no no.
It's been a few weeks since Jungkook had asked you to lay low for a while and in that time, you had been asking around about the killer to the police. You tried your best not to seem suspicious about it though, if they caught on – well it wouldn’t exactly end well. So, you make slow progress, you did make progress though, however.
You could now understand the note and while it scared you, it also ignited something in you that you didn’t even know that you possessed inside of you. You wanted to outdo him, you want to find him, lead him into a trap or something like that anyway. You want to catch him.
Something in the back of your mind is telling you begging you to stop being so stupid, but you ignore and continue to daydream about catching this bastard.
But it can only cure your boredom for a while – you get bored and what better to do when you're bored than to read erotica novels?
You had packed this book with you – the secrets of the alluring painter in France. You had taken to reading at night time on some nights.
Like tonight.
You need a wind down, so you pull out your book, and it has such racy scenes that leave you clenching around nothing.
Your sexual imagination goes wild when you read the erotica in the book and the way they make it seem so fiery, you were no virgin - you knew what sex was like, but never has it been close to the way it is in the book.
You’ve allowed yourself to fall into this horrible habit, at night, when Jungkook is asleep to touch yourself, play with yourself, pretending it is you who is being touched by Kim Taehyung the painter with many secrets.
You feel yourself growing more frustrated with each passage you read, it becomes a little irritating and, you have to touch yourself or you'll go crazy, the man in the book was doing it so well, so hot.
Kim Taehyung, he was described as an utter beauty, soft black hair and soft eyes, a deep voice that just made the reader swoon, you close your eyes and reach your hands down to your shorts, they slip past the hem.
You wish you could moan, wish that you could be vocal, like you were in your bedroom when it was just you and your pillow, but there was one big problem and that was Jeon Jungkook.
Why did you have to room with him?
You lighten your breathing and listen for signs of him being awake, but he seems to be breathing really deep, he is asleep you assure yourself.
You turn the lamp off, at the side of your bed, setting the book on the bedside table.
You trail your hand down your stomach, much like Taehyung had done to the main character, he slowly lets his fingers flutter over the top of her shorts, and you do the same. You build the tension, like it's his beautiful hands working against you.
You pause and let your fingers slip past the hem of your panties, you trace over the fabric covering you - first over your mound, stroking sensually.
How had Taehyung done it?
Right yes, he had used his nails slightly and grazed over lightly, a slight pressure but nothing that hurt - it was just enough to make you squirm under your own touch.
You feel your own wetness, feel how obscene it is in the darkness of the night.
Jungkook is right there, and while it scares you, it also thrills you, you feel a new wave of arousal and adrenaline when you remember he is there.
Slowly and as quietly as possible you shuffle, moving to take your shorts off, it's a little loud but you think that you're okay, Jungkook is out like a log.  After a moment you continue to tease yourself.
Running your fingertips over your lips, pressing down on your hole and clenching, withholding the need to hiss.
You raise your hand further and your fingers land right at the centre of your pleasure.
Your clit. Oh, the beautiful bundle of nerves.
You cover your mouth with a hand to stifle the moan that you almost let out when you begin to rub small circles around the sensitive nub.
When you can’t get enough your panties are next to go, and when the cold air hits your wet centre you have to hold your breath, shaky.
You reach down and gather your slick slowly, spreading it all over your centre, making yourself drown in your own arousal, you use your middle and ring finger to slide up and down at a pace that leaves you edged and eager for more, you need to bring yourself to the very edge to get yourself the release that you’re after, you free hand travels up to your ever sensitive boobs, you play with them, brushing over the nipple, making them perk and then groping them while you rub at your clit.
A dirty thought crosses your mind, when you remember the boy who was asleep across from you.
What if, he was the one to touch, the one touching you, with those beautiful hands of his, those big hands.
You stifle another moan, as you think about him, hovering over you, giving it to you just right. You had heard that Jungkook could actually make a girl cum while having sex, that made you a little interested. It’s just he always opens his mouth and is an ass and ruins everything. But right now, in your imagination, only his looks and reputation matter, you twist and turn his character to be someone that you can gain pleasure from.
You can the pleasure increase and you begin to fasten your speed until you feel the signs of your orgasm and then you pull away. Edging yourself.
Your breathing is a little heavy and your work on controlling it, both your hands go to fondle your breasts and you unconsciously lift your hips, humping the air, you lean down again and enter three fingers easily into your own heat.
The squelching sound heard is deafening in the silent room, your cheeks burn red and you pull out slowly, so that was a no no, you would have to focus on your clit for you orgasm. Which was fine because you were so sensitive from playing with yourself, you know that it would only take a few more strokes to get there.
You press the fingers that were just inside of you, against your sensitive bud and you rub in slowly circles and then fastening your place and then slowing once more.
Jungkook comes into your mind again, ugh, now his lips, his pretty pink lips and the way he licks them, and the way they glisten under the sun. What if they were attached to your clit, if he was using his face to give you pleasure, like Taehyung had done to the main character of the novel, God it was so filthy.
Its driving you insane and you love it, the frustration will only make your release all the more powerful.
After a while you feel the fire blooming in your bottom of your stomach, and you quicken your pace to the point where you feel light and the waves of pleasure rack over your whole body.
You press your hand to your mouth again to conceal the gasps that are escaping you, you sigh and fall back onto your pillow feeling so much better and lighter.
Gosh did that feel good. You were aware that in your mind alarms were going off in your mind. You had thought of Jungkook while masturbating. It was a line you have no idea why you crossed. How would you look him in the eye now?
After a while, you pull up your panties and shorts and you promise yourself a shower in the morning.
What you didn't know was that the raven-haired boy of your fantasies was in fact awake and now painfully hard as he listened to your filthy little moans and gasps, he grabs his own member in his pants, strokes slowly. He spreads the pre-cum over his member before setting the fast pace that he liked, his breaths through his nose – to conceal the way his breathing has become strained. His hair becomes damp from sweat and it sticks to his forehead. He came much faster that he would care to admit the thought of you right there yet unreachable the fact that you were so NAUGHTY under all that good girl.
Turning him on, making him needy.
He breathes heavy, thinking of you under him as he squirts out cum into his pants, Jungkook too showers in the morning after you.
After this Jungkook stays up at night, listening to you, seeing if you would do it again, you do and, on those nights, Jungkook cums at the same time as you. He feels a little pathetic, he knows that he can fuck a lot of girls in the class right, but it wasn't you, God he wants it to be you writhing underneath him.
It’s the next morning and you're getting ready for your shower.
You're gathering your clothes and shampoo and creams into a little bundle and are about to open the door to the shower, when it is opened for you. The song that you were softly humming gets stuck in your throat when you register that the door was opened by Jungkook.
A very naked Jungkook.
Your face grows red, and your eyes wander over his gorgeous body, the tattoos that trail up his arm and a few on his waist, God they looked amazing.
Your ogling comes to a stop when he clears his throat. Oh, shit you think - I was staring. You quickly look up and your eyes meet Jungkook's.
He is smirking at you and as soon as you meet his gaze, he lets his own wander over body – taken in the skin that was exposed in your pyjama shorts and a t-shirt that had been small for you since you turned 13 years old.
He looks up and down your body brazenly before meeting your eyes. He licks his lips, and you zero in on it. God it was so annoying that he was this hot.
How could this be happening now? When you had spent a while avoiding him? And him you? Why did this happen after you were thinking of him last night? Oh god you grow red again and you think what if he had heard you? God, that would be embarrassing. You look at his lips again, avoiding his gaze again but maybe his eyes would have been a better option because as soon as you look at his lips, the same filthy thoughts come back to you - you shift uncomfortably trying to calm yourself. In that time, you don't notice but Jungkook has come closer to you.
You register his closeness when a water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek. You move away slightly.
You don’t realise it but in your extended silence of checking each other out the both of you have moved closer to each other. There is no longer what people would call a healthy distance between the two of you anymore. He looks down at you and licks his lips again. His hair is wet and the way he runs his hand through it – he looks so good like this. Your dirty thoughts run wild again. Its only when another water droplet from his hair falls onto your cheek that you finally snap out of it. You move a step back.
“You look a little hot strawberry is anything the matter?” He asks you, a teasing lilt on his voice.
It’s way too early for this, you cannot be dealing with this right now, not when your mind has gone on a memory flashback to last night and he was right here in front you, so very naked.
Still, you feign your ever composed self.
“I’m just fine” you say through gritted teeth.
“I need to shower and your kind of standing in my way” you tell him.
He chuckles, a deep chuckle, gosh how are you this horny in the morning? Stop it y/n you think.
“I don't think you really mind though do you strawberry, you seem to have a very different secretive side” he says, cocking his head to the side.
You blush, shit had he heard you?
“I have no idea what you're talking about Jungkook” you say to him “I need to shower though”.
You move to get away from his hearted stare but just before you enter the washroom, a hand grabs onto your wrist and pulls you back.
Jungkook looks at you, a deep and confusing stare.
“Be careful, it’s quite wet in there” he says and then his tongue pokes into the side of his cheek. Then suddenly, he lets you go and walks off to his side of the room, your left in shock at his words and quickly scurry to get into the bedroom before more heated tension breaks through.
You shake your head of all thoughts and quickly go into the shower, what you don’t realise is that you accidently drop something, the note with the raven-haired boy who you had left in the bedroom.
Its later on during this day that Jungkook approaches you.
'Hey strawberry’ he says to you.
You raise your eyebrows at him, what’s with his sudden kindness.
‘hey’ you reply voice dipped in surprised.
‘Oh, shut up, I just came to talk to you’.
You look at him.
‘I didn’t say anything but okay…. talk then’ you gesture your hands between your two bodies.
He lets out an exasperated gasp.
‘The note – did you find one?’ he asks. You still in the next sip of coffee that you were going to take. You feel yourself grow cold. How did he find out?
He looks at you.
‘So, you did’.
‘I didn’t say that’ you say tone slightly higher than normal – you were a terrible liar.
He laughs at you
‘Hmm is that so?’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about Jungkook’.
He looks at you, more serious this time.
“Listen y/n there's no point playing dumb, I found your stupid note anyway”.
You watch mortified as he pulls out the note that you had thought was in your pocket. Well shit then.
“I- I have never seen that before in my life Jungkook” you can't let him know; he would ruin everything - you convince yourself.
He looks at you, he’s getting annoyed that you're lying to him. He pokes his tongue against his cheek again.
“I suggest you stop lying”.
You scoff.
“Why would I ever need to lie to you your nobody to me Jungkook”.
Something akin to hurt flashes across his face for a few seconds before he slams his hands on the table.
“I don’t think you know what you're even getting into strawberry”.
You gather your belongings getting up, you need to get away from him.
“And I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about Jungkook”.
You walk off leaving him there, but he follows after you,
“Listen I found one too, you don't need to be miss hero or anything”.
You carry on walking, not bothering to give him an answer, he would want to tell the teachers and everyone, they would cancel the trip and then how would you finish gathering your evidence? No, he was insane.
“I don’t know what you're talking about”.
‘you think your so fucking slick, don’t you? Asking around and acting unsuspicious but your wrong I could sense your stupid plan from a mile away’ he says to you, pulling you on your arm effectively stopping you so you can't walk away from him anymore. You struggle out of his hold.
‘and so, what? So, what if you know? What the hell are you going to do Jungkook? Tell on me? Are you going to threaten to tell the teachers because you know what? I’ve been thinking about it and I think they would much rather take my word for yours and all this work I’ve been doing for you – I could easily go right now and show the teachers and say that you forced me to do it!! ’
He looks at you angrily, looks like he is going to swear or curse you out but then his face relaxes.
‘you say that baby, but the truth is I have money and you don’t if I want to manipulate something I can because I have the means and power to do so, my dad's made himself something while yours totted away in the fucking garbage can’.
You feel the anger come over you and he smirks at you.
‘real fucking classy Jeon, yeah insult my parents – like it's their fault they were born into a world where people are born with silver spoons on their mouth, and at least my parents love me Jungkook’
His eyes flash with hurt
‘how do you now my parents don't love me you little bitch?’
You laugh an empty laugh at his face.
‘just look at you – you’re the very definition of boohoo my parents don't love me so I'm going to kick up a mess, so they notice me for once’.
He groans in frustration at your words then.
Somehow amidst your confrontation with Jungkook you had managed to reach your room, why are you here? Why did your feet have to leave you here?
You walk into the room and as soon as he gets in, Jungkook grabs you by the wrist and pins you against the door, your books and pencils fly across the room and while your mortified - he doesn't even bat an eyelid.
Your breathing is both heavy as you look each other in the eyes, waiting for the other to say something.
You struggle against his hold, uselessly, curse him for doing his workout routine every morning.
“You found the fucking note y/n when you went missing in the woods that day, the note that’s in Morse code, the note that you spent a week trying to decode, don't act fucking dumb” he grits out.
You still try and keep up your act,
“I have no clue in the world what you're talking Jeon, I think you're going fucking insane” you seethe out
He growls, yes, he growls.
“Your seriously fucking pissing me off now, I know you did, I know you found it”.
“Fuck off, Jungkook does it look like I care if I am fucking pissing you off”.
He looks into your eyes again and whispers something like “fucking priss” before he is connecting your lips in a kiss, a kiss that is full of ego, passion and heat. You can feel in searing through your body so fiery, setting your nerves alight.
He is relentless in his pace. His mouth against yours and God indeed Jungkook is good kisser. Before you knees grow weak you move your hands to tangle in his hair and you pull at the end causing him groan against his lips, when he does you swipe your tongue into his mouth getting a taste. You pull harder, and he groans again. It was a sound that you know you would like to hear again.
His hands move from the door and one tangles in your hair while the other presses harshly on your waist. You gasp at the pleasure and at this he takes over, he fights your own tongue for dominance and once he wins, he is rough, he wants all his saliva in your mouth, wants his taste on you, wants you to feel him in every way.
When he knows that your just as enthralled by his kisses he pulls back to taunt you - whispering the words against you bruised lips.
“You act like such a fucking little priss don't you? Act like your better than me? Lying to me? Fuck you drive me insane”.
He attacks your neck now, leaving open mouthed kisses along your ear and neck. He nibbles lightly at a few areas and when he gets to just the right place - where your breath hitches and you move your thighs together he bites down harshly without warning and you try you best to suppress your moans. Not wanting to give him any satisfaction.
“I am better than you” you say to him breathlessly, “I don’t just act like it, I am”.
He bites harder at that and you wince - Jungkook is painting you skin wine and purple and your letting him and it feels so goddamn good. He pulls you back by the hair to look at him,
“You don't look much better than me when you are bending at my will, when you're looking so fucked out and I’ve done is fucking kiss you”.
Your answer is swallowed by a moan that you let out as he takes you breasts into his big hands, and squeezes hard, you pull him up from your neck and kiss him again, his lips, your lips bruising and fighting against one another.
He trails his hand down further and dances around the hem of your pants for a while, and you place your own over his, just as your about to lead him further down a knock is heard at your door.
You both freeze
“y/n?” A voice calls out.
You calm yourself before answering, still a little shaky.
“Yes?”
“Our guest speaker has arrived, I just thought you might like to ask him a few questions before he gives his talk”.
Jungkook swears under his breath, raking a hand through his hair.
“You fucking nerd”.
He pulls you back by your pony tail and the back of your head lands on his shoulder, he tilts you slightly, so he has better access to kiss and leave more marks against your skin.
“Ah- I thank you, I’ll come in an ah- while” you say, and you hear the footsteps walk off, Jungkook spins you around and he goes to kiss you again, but you pull away.
“No, just, stop I have to go and talk”.
He looks at you “you fucking nerd” he kisses you once more, like he can't get enough of your mouth.
You pull away again.
uh what in the fuck just happened you think.
This was not meant to happen.
“Look Jungkook, I did, that is my note and I- I’ll, we can talk just not now, okay? I-I have to go. This is important"
He doesn't say anything, just watches as you fix your appearance in the mirror, an appearance he had ruined, and he smirks a little in triumph. He watches as you gather your books that had been thrown onto the floor and he watches as your ass is on display for him and God, he wishes he could grab a handful, but he doesn’t. He just watches.
You walk out the room, without so much as looking at him again and he feels oddly rejected.
He knows that you had felt good, he had heard you groan against his mouth, grind against his clothed member but he hadn't ever been walked out on before. He's not sure what exactly he is feeling. Its not a good feeling - that he was walked out on and for some old ass lecturer too.
He watches the door close, and he sits and waits for you to finish being a nerd. But truthfully it is a little hot to him that you’re so independent, you do things for yourself, your confidence and your wit, it makes you fun, you piss him off, but your company is nicer than the ones that he is used to.
He sighs what the fuck is he getting himself into.
You take a breath as you exit the room,
What in the fuck just happened? you think.
Well, when you promised Jungkook that you would talk to him you hadn't been in your right mind.  Why did you agree to that like fuck? You have no idea what to even say. How do you even start that conversation like...?
"Hey, was just wondering if you would like to you know? Go on a hunt for a serial killer with me?"
Gosh this was so stupid and the kiss, gosh your face heats up as you remember the way he had kissed you - oh so sweet and so naughty!
Gosh you were in bad, as an adult you decide to deal with the problem logically, you'll just ignore him. That will work, Jungkook had a small attention span anyway. You're sure he would forget. You really hope he does.
370 notes · View notes
makeste · 3 years
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BnHA Chapter 310: A Tale of Two Kacchans
Previously on BnHA: Flashback!Deku was all, “hey, you know what sounds like a good decision? Abandoning my studies at the safest place in the country so that the bad guy who wants to find me and kill me has literally nothing standing in his way of doing that.” All Might was all, “I fucking knew you were going to say some bullshit like that so whatever, but I’M COMING WITH YOU and I’m also going to invite the Hawksquad to come with us, mostly so that I can steal Jeanist’s car.” Jeanist was all, “okay fine you can borrow my car, All Might, but only if you wear jeans.” All Might was all, “okay sure” and he wore jeans and also sunglasses and a leather jacket and it was pretty rad. Anyway so now they’re out there fighting crime and hunting down the LoV and stuff, and absolutely none of it is going to end well, I’m just letting you know now. But I guess we’ll let them enjoy it while it lasts.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “happy belated Kacchan’s Birthday makeste, here’s the flashback you really wanted at long last,” and proceeds to pull the old vestige flashback out of the kitchen drawer and upend its contents all over my Friday afternoon without the slightest bit of warning. OFA III is all “WHAT’S UP I’M JUST SOME GUY, HELLO,” and okay?? Hello yourself. OFA II, on the other hand, is all, “okay yeah I have different hair and stuff, but I’m like 98% sure I’m either Bakugou or his goddamn twin, I mean look at me.” Which, yeah. I looked, and he really is though you guys. Anyway though, so he and OFA II basically just showed up in the First (who goes by Yoichi now)’s prison cell one day all “HEY THERE, WE’RE HERE TO SAVE YOU, APPARENTLY, ALTHOUGH WE SEEM REAL CONFUSED ABOUT IT TBH BUT HEY.” And so they saved him, and Yoichi was all “hey nice to meet you do you want to join my super-exclusive Saving The World Club”, and so they did, and then the chapter ended lol. I would have said yes too.
oh my sweet lord?? I didn’t realize we were getting a color page this week, but LOOK AT THIS
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this could have been a fucking volume cover. I’m almost mad that it wasn’t, lol but I mean fkldjslklk just look at it??! Horikoshi out here spoiling us and making sure we’re well fed since next week the manga is on break for Golden Week. well this will certainly help to tide me over. hot damn look at those colors
so now it’s raining on some dumb building in the middle of somewhere
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is this where the Hawksquad has set up camp for the night? or are we actually cutting back to the League? that’d be unexpected (but not unwelcome)
ffff nevermind dammit it’s just more random citizens under attack
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feels like this is the third or fourth scene we’ve had of civilians being Under Attack since this arc started. I mean no offense, but I think we get it by this point. it’s the end times, etc. etc. we’re well aware that things have gone to shit
so apparently these two guys are facing off against a girl with a mutant quirk. and she’s telling them that she’s not a monster and she was just scared, oh shit. I believe her btw, you can see it in her face
but these assholes don’t believe her at all and they’re pointing what looks to be some type of support item gun at her
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you know what’s interesting, is that this kind of random quirk discrimination is the exact kind of thing PLF and the like were swearing up and down they’d put a stop to with their glorious revolution. it’s almost like those guys were completely full of shit. huh
so yeah, fortunately for this woman someone is stepping in and intervening before she can be blasted to bits by this trigger-happy asshole for absolutely no fucking reason
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looks like a hero actually stepped in and saved her?? but no that can’t be, heroes are the ones that ruin everything and make everything worse, or so I understand. lol where did all of this sarcasm come from out of nowhere dlkdsjlk I’m sorry guys I just suddenly got swept up in the hypocrisy of certain people’s philosophies out of the blue idek
anyway so it is of course Deku saving her, and now he’s trying to talk thess jerks down all diplomatically instead of just kicking their asses, which is certainly a choice
MOTHERFUCKER I’M
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fucking impossible to miss the real world parallels here. shit. this woman nearly died for her crime of Walking While Having A Mutant Quirk huh. and meanwhile Deku is just letting this guy scurry away and even letting him keep that fucking bazooka of his, like, ????
fucking hell she’s crying!!
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lmao this chapter is actively trying to make me mad now huh. that’s some genuine righteous anger I’m feeling on behalf of this fictional ferret lady whom I only met two minutes ago. girl you are not the one who needs to explain herself here!! you didn’t do anything wrong holy fuck. everything about this situation sucks so much
fkKJKLMMMHFGH
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“I’m sorry I made you upset, please enjoy this panel of tiny!floating!Deku hefting this lady’s massive beach umbrella up for her like the fucking gentleman he is” well okay then thank you sir
and JUST LIKE THAT the tension is broken and I’m entirely incapable of taking the rest of this conversation seriously because Deku’s trying to be all calming and authoritative, but now the illusion has been broken because I know he only comes up to like her knees
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“well thanks again for saving me young man. I’ll leave you to it, I’m sure you’ve got more important things to do like protecting your Lucky Charms cereal from all those greedy children”
oh hey All Might
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you wouldn’t have just let that guy with the bazooka just walk away to commit more attempted murders would you?? man
OH MY GOD DEKU IS IMMEDIATELY DITCHING HIM AGAIN
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I ~CANNOT STAY HERE~ oh, well, sorry to keep you detained I know you’re busy
dfslkjlk oh my god
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fucking told you Deku didn’t pack any food lol. it’s literally all notebooks in that bag you guys. he couldn’t just leave them all in his dorm room when he left, because what if someone tried to read them and came across one of the pages where he absentmindedly doodled Kacchan’s name surrounded by little tiny hearts oh gosh
AWWWWW
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I needed this Horikoshi. thank you for this wholesome soul-cleansing interaction after all of that bullshit earlier
so now Deku’s climbing up this tall building to eat his lunchbox more dramatically. Tokoyami would be proud
and Banjou is saying that society right now is just like in The Good Old Days (read: bad old days) when quirk society was even more of a mess than it is now
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which is exactly how AFO likes it, no doubt
so now Deku’s having a whole conversation with Banjou seemingly out loud lol, weird. and he’s basically saying that they don’t have any clues as to where TomurAFO and the League are hiding right now, and none of the Tartarus escapees they’ve found knew anything either
mmmmmfmhm, marge simpson noises
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but you think you can?? you, alone, by yourself?? you think you stand a chance?? I just need you to think this all through a bit more kid
Deku it is NOT JUST YOUR RESPONSIBILITY ALONE, PLEASE REALIZE THIS ALREADY. YOU MAY BE THE CHOSEN ONE, BUT EVEN THE CHOSEN ONE NEEDS HIS FRIENDS BY HIS SIDE GODDAMMIT
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and of course my pleading is all in vain, because he’s a fictional character who can’t fucking hear me, and also because I’m pretty sure there’s only one character who is going to actually be able to get him to hear reason here. I’ve been saying it, and I’ll keep saying it lol. so until then I guess I’ll just have to be patient
anyway so it appears we’re segueing into another flashback??? HORIKOSHI PLEASE GIVE ME SOME BAKUCRUMBS BEFORE THE TWO WEEK BREAK, I BEG YOU
dlKSDJLFKWJELKGHSLGKLEKJLFKHLGK
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YES, THANK YOU, I KNOW WHERE THIS FUCKING IS LOL, IT’S NOT LIKE I’VE BEEN OBSESSED WITH FINDING OUT WHAT HAPPENS IN THE REST OF THIS SCENE OR ANYTHING LMAO. BUT ANYWAYS DON’T MIND ME, YOU WERE SAYING??
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oh my god oh my god I’m not readyyyyy, but also FUCK YEAH I AM SO FUCKING READY LOL LET’S DO THIS
YOU GUYS
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I’M ABOUT TO STEP IN THAT ROOM AND YEET ONE OF THOSE FUCKING CHAIRS AT YOU ALL
NOOOOO
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I’M ABOUT TO GRAB BANJOU’S GOGGLES AND STRETCH THEM OUT AND SNAP THEM BACK SO THEY SMACK THE SHIT OUT OF HIS FOREHEAD!!! IT’S WHAT HE DESERVES!!! I’M ABOUT TO MOVE TO JAPAN AND GET A JOB WITH DOORDASH AND FIND OUT WHAT HORIKOSHI LIKES TO ORDER FOR LUNCH SO I CAN BE THE ONE TO DELIVER IT SO THAT WHEN HE OPENS THE DOOR I CAN FINALLY ASK HIM “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” IN PERSON
AHHH NO EVERYBODY SHHHHH STOP TALKING!!!!
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SOMEONE PLEASE TELL THAT PERSON SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS IN THE BACKGROUND TO SHUT THE FUCK UP, OH WAIT, THAT’S ME
(」゜ロ゜)」 щ(゜ロ゜щ)
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LOL THIS FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! LOOK AT YOU!!! YOU’RE NOT KIRISHIMA OR SHINSOU OR IIDA IN A WIG OR ANYBODY LOL. YOU’RE JUST A DUDE. BROOOOO ABOUT FUCKING TIME, WHAT’S GOOD
I CAN’T SCROLL DOWN AHHHH BUT I HAVE TO BUT IT’S TOO INTENSE AHHHHHHH
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I CAN SEE THE TOP OF HIS SPIKY HEAD, IT’S FINALLY THAT TIME AHHHHHHHH OKAY I’M GONNA DO IT HERE GOES
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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IT’S HIM. IT FUCKING REALLY FUCKIGN IS HIM OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. WHY AM I SO SHOCKED LMAO I’M THE ONE WHO’S BEEN SAYING THIS THE WHOLE DAMN TIME LMAO. OH GOD. O H MY FUCKING GOD
well okay then sir. so are you an ~ancestor~ or a Kacchan from another timeline or so what’s your deal then
YOICHI WHO IS YOICHI
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YOICHI ALWAYS KNOWS WHAT’S UP. LMAO WHO IS YOICHI
(ETA: I’m going to punch myself in the face lmao. he’s Yoichi. he, the First. that’s his name. name reveal at long last what what!!)
MORE IMPORTANTLY SHOULD I BE IMAGINING NOBU’S VOICE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE LMAO I AM ANYWAY BUT YEAH
(ETA: I actually think he’s going to end up being voiced by Nobuhiko whether he ends up being Kacchan or not, just because it fits right in with the general “identical in almost every way” aesthetic he’s got going on.)
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TUMBLR HOW WE LIKING OUR ANGSTY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN?? EVERYONE HATED YOU SO MUCH BEFORE THEY EVEN MET YOU, BUT THEY FORGOT TO CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY THAT YOU MIGHT BE HOT LMAO WHAT A TWIST
“some bright-eyed brat” oh come on. IT’S GOTTA BE HIM LOL
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oh my god you all are probably TIRED AS FUCK of all my screaming but I’M SORRY IMMA HAVE TO DO IT ONE LAST TIME BECAUSE...
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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that face. that expression!! THE FACT THAT HE’S OUT HERE OPENING DOORS WITH HIS FEET, LIKE HOLY SHIT!! JUST ADMIT THE JIG IS UP ALREADY
and so they really are the ones who busted First out of his jail cell huh
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so how did they know you were in the room?? why did they come and break you out?? and how, pray tell, did they know to get you to transfer OFA to them?? hmmmMMMMMMMM
oh MY GOD
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you guys. oh my god. it’s too much. every last bit of it lines up exactly with the Bakuverse theory sdkjfj I’m short-circuiting. it’s really fucking happening oh my lord
HELLO SEXY ALTERNATE UNIVERSE KACCHAN WITH HIS SEXY FUCKING SCAR, FUCK YEAH WE REALLY ARE EATING GOOD THIS CHAPTER
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HELL YEAH WE’RE GOING. WE’RE GOING FULL SPEED YOU GUYS. LMAO I’M SO FUCKING HYPED RIGHT NOW I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF WEFKJLDKFFFF
SO, EVERYONE, LET’S RECAP. -- ACTUALLY NO, I STARTED TO WRITE UP A LIST, BUT I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED IT REALLY JUST NEEDS TO GO IN ITS OWN THREAD. SO I MADE IT AND POSTED IT, AND NOW I’M FINISHING UP THIS HOT MESS OF A RECAP POST. SO NOW WE’RE BACK TO THIS ONE FINAL PANEL OF DEKU EATING HIS KATSU ALL SERIOUS
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YES SIR. YES SIR, WE GOING, FULL SPEED AHEAD, WHATEVER, IDK WTF IS HAPPENING BUT YES!!
lol, anyways so as I said in my other post, mysterious sexy guys with tragic pasts are what bring us together as a fandom, so whatever your thoughts are on the rest of it, let’s just rejoice in that. it’s what we deserve
271 notes · View notes
leonardhoee · 3 years
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Ikevamp Guys as Villains
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Warnings: Mass Murder, Gore...
Tagging: @aurora-morning @delicateikemenmemes @writer-akihiko @nafeary
Napoleon
Napoleon would be a royal dictator. He is the leader of a corrupt, authoritarian regime, hellbent on conquering the world. Think Hela (Thor: Ragnarok or The Darkling (Shadow and Bone). He controls people with his massive armies, and believes he is the only rightful ruler in this world. He believes that the world should be remade in his image so it can be restored to its former glory. He craves power and he will stop at nothing to get it. His armies are tools that swore their lives and souls to his cause. He feels no remorse in sacrificing them for his greater good. The only thing that would satisfy him now, is seeing the world crushed under the heel of his boot.
Leonardo
Leo as a villain would be like Iron Man gone bad. He does what he does simply out of curiosity he wants to see if it would even work. Cyberterrorism is just a tool for him. He would make modifications to his own body so that his eyes can see x-Ray, night vision, and other people’s biological information, and his brain is directly connected to the internet. He would create an entire army of robots like Ultron (Marvel) or Terminators. He hacks into government servers and international television broadcasts. He takes over entire governments simply by sitting in his lab controlling his army from a tablet. He can destroy anything connected to the internet with a flick of his finger. He wouldn’t even have to get up out of his chair. His plans would be so well thought out that no one would realize what happened until they’ve already lost.
Dazai
Dazai would be unhinged and reckless. He’d completely detach himself from human emotions and commit as many insane heinous crimes as possible till he does something bad enough that he would get killed for it. He creates an alternate persona for himself like the Joker or Hisoka (HxH), and at that point he has buried his emotions so well that he fails to differentiate between his persona and his true self. He may not actively acknowledge it but his true goal is to just go out in a blaze. It doesn’t matter how many lives it costs to do so.
Jean
Jean would be walking a fine line between villain and antihero. His main motivation is wiping out the people he considers evil, to make the world a “better place”. However, he would take it to a point of mass murder. There would be major battles breaking out between the people that support him and the people that believe what he is doing is evil. He believes he is bringing divine justice upon those who deserve it and thinks this is the way to atone for his past sins. Sound familiar? Jean would be Kira (Death Note). He is also similar to The Hood (Arrow). He has no mercy and he will not hesitate to kill.
Comte
Comte is rich enough to buy world leaders. He is the puppet master behind every single nation of the world. No one suspects him, however he slowly takes over countries one by one. He would also run some kind of underground mafia operation that’s involved in pretty much every kind of trade there is. He gets his money from so many sources that even if one is cut off, he is still rich enough to maintain his control over politicians and famous businessmen. Comte is the leader of the secret societies that the world’s richest people are involved in. The world answers to him and you would never even know. (Similar to Kingpin (Marvel) and the Court of Owls (DC)
Sebastian
Sebastian was adopted by Comte after ran away from his family. When he was young, hs saw firsthand how cruel the world can really be. He wholeheartedly believes the world is better off being run by Comte, and has pledged complete loyalty to him. He is Comte’s right hand man and he runs most of their underground mafia operations. He is incredibly versatile and does whatever Comte needs from him. Acting as a proxy? Assasinating a world leader? Leading a heist? Sebastian can do it all. His ideals have been so skewed growing up with Comte, that he sees himself as an extension of Comte’s power. Nothing more. He is a loyal weapon to be used by his boss.
Vincent
Vincent would release his emotions and would be unable to handle it mentally. He would be a serial killer who escaped from an asylum after losing his mind. He would kidnap his victims and slowly bleed them out as he paints with their blood. His specialty is carving designs into his victims after they have bled out and died. He leaves a sunflower at every crime scene and each new murder is just his latest artistic masterpiece left for the world to see. One way or another his art will be remembered, and it will cause the whole world to feel as much as he does.
Theo
Theo is driven by rage. Rage towards the world, towards the way he and Vincent were treated. His strength and anger would translate into him having an incredibly powerful monstrous form. His only goal is destruction. He wants to tear apart the society that allows people to get hurt like he did. He would be similar to Venom (Marvel), Abomination (Marvel), or Eren (Attack on Titan). Blinded by rage, he looses sight of his original goal and devoted himself to destroying everything he sees. It doesn’t matter who gets killed, they’re just collateral damage.
Isaac
Isaac can be two different types of villains all in one. On one hand, he’s a mad scientist who happened to discover a chemical combination that can be weaponized. However his insatiable bloodlust drives him to weaponize his discovery for himself. He wants people to know fear like he does (think Scarecrow (Batman). I can see him laying with Leonardo and helping upgrade his robot army with that chemical. On the other hand, when he lets himself give in to that bloodlust, he won’t stop unless he is stopped by someone else (like ripper Stefan from Vampire Diaries). He rips apart his victims like a wild animal. His crime scenes are covered in blood with dismembered body parts.
Mozart
Mozart would be an assassin for hire. He’s like a ghost. There have been stories about him but no one truly knows who he is. He works in the shadows and kills efficiently and without hesitation. One of his specialties is creating various sound waves that can kill his target. For those type of kills he doesn’t even need to leave his base, he can simply hack their device and cause it to play that frequency. Comte has hired him before to carry out certain kills he couldn’t do himself because of his position. Mozart is extremely devoted to his job will kill anyone who gets in the way of him and his target.
Arthur
Arthur would be a mix between Moriarty and Kilgrave (Jessica Jones). He would have some kind of mind controlling ability that allows him to create loyal puppets for his elaborate schemes. He loves playing games with the people suspecting him and he leads them in circles with their investigations. Sometimes he will even offer to personally help investigate cases he is responsible for, just to lead them into dead ends and plant fake clues. Every crime of his is a masterpiece with countless layers going into it. He does not see the people involved as humans. They’re just his pawns in his game of chess. Arthur just wants to see how far he can go before he finds a worthy opponent that can solve his cases.
Shakespeare
Shakespeare would be a theatrical serial killer who later escalates to mass murder. He would start out by abducting people he believes to “fit the role” he has planned for them. He would then kill them, replicating famous death scenes from plays and movies he admired (or his own plays). Each crime scene would be perfectly set up with lighting, makeup, and costuming. This would escalate later on to him and his troupe taking massive groups of people hostage, forcing them to read lines and act out various gruesome plays. When someone dies in the play, the actors have to murder each other. If they refuse, Shakespeare murders them both out of rage and brings in new people to replace them. He will not stop until he creates his perfect play.
215 notes · View notes
lunaslashsea · 4 years
Text
Crossover Fanfic Recs
The Addams Family/Harry Potter
'Family Values' by Ishtar Petunia Dursley discovers that taking care of two small boys is too much for her, so she passes the guardianship of Harry Potter over to a distant relative — Morticia Addams. With Harry growing up in a very different type of Family, Dumbledore desperately tries to get him back. But the Harry Potter who finally arrives at Hogwarts, along with his "cousins" Pugsley and Wednesday, will be nothing like what Dumbledore expects.
The Addams Family/Rise of the Guardians
'Nightmares for Christmas' by Neyiea Not all children are happy that their nightmares have disappeared, and as such North finds himself receiving a very unexpected letter several days before Christmas.
Big Hero 6/The Martian
'Big Hero Martian' by althor42 There would have been no rescue for Mark, if NASA had not noticed he was still alive. Unless of course, a certain Big Hero noticed instead.
Big Hero 6/Marvel
'Magnets for Trouble' by PitViperOfDoom Months after Callaghan's downfall, Hiro receives a surprise in the mail: a special invitation to this year's Stark Expo. With Fred for company, he leaves the protection of the city temporarily in the hands of the rest of the team and flies across the country to meet the man with twice the brains and bank account of Alistair Krei and several times the infamy.
But of course, it can't be that simple, can it? Really, after how his last expo went, he should have seen this coming.
Bleach/Free! Iwatobi Swim Club
'Teamwork for Hire' by junko After the defeat of Aizen, Ichigo has lost his superpowers but not his skills so he's been hiring himself out to any sports team looking for a strong player. When Nagisa Hazuki approaches Ichigo to join the Iwatobi High School Swimming Club, something piques Ichigo's interest…
Bleach/Harry Potter
'Crazy=Genius' series by blackkat Minerva McGonagall isn't about to let Harry go back to the Dursleys after his first year. She finds an alternative, and along the way, Bazzard Black finds that he might have more family left than he'd ever thought.
'Lost Boys' by glacis After the Triwizard fiasco, Harry leaves Britain behind for a new life. Uryuu befriends Ichigo at a much younger age. Sirius escapes. Points converge and lost boys find a family. Isshin fails. So does Ryuuken. Kisuke finds a friend. Ukitake covers and cleans up. Fate changes.
'There May Be Some Collateral Damage' by metisket Ichigo's been ordered to go undercover at a magic school to bodyguard a kid named Harry Potter, and this would be fine, except that he's about as good at bodyguarding as he is at magic. And he considers it a good day, magic‐wise, if he hasn't set anything on fire.
Bleach/Hunger Games
'Storm the World with Reckless Abandon' by SSAerial So due to one of Urahara's failed experiments that Ichigo unluckily got a full blast of (because life hates him and trouble is attracted to him like a clingy fangirl he could do without), Ichigo ends up in a dystopian universe where people take perverse pleasure in watching kids fight to the death. Which just, no. So Panem now has to deal with a pissed of Ichigo who's determined to stop the Hunger Games and pummel Snow to the ground. And Panem doesn't have a snowball chance in hell in stopping him.
Bleach/Lord of the Rings
'Behold the Flowing Years' by Straight‐Outta‐Hobbiton Ichigo escapes his dimension to start anew, away from the memories of death and friendships past that he can't seem to put to rest. Rohan is a beautiful country, and Théoden is a good king, but evil only grows stronger within the borders of Mordor, and Ichigo finds himself once more forced to protect those whom he has grown to love.
Bleach/Marvel
'Foreign Recruit' by SSAerial Ichigo doesn't know where to start. He has no friends, no family, no personal attachments to the world he got dumped into. The Soul King never specified what he was supposed to do in a world where technology is ahead of its time and aliens and secret governments exist. As for the people he has to deal with… Well, it isn't like he hasn't dealt with colorful personalities before.
Bleach/Naruto
'All My Ghosts are at Rest' series by Zakad An older Ichigo and Uryu leave Soul Society and all its problems behind to search for the near-mythical homeland of a particular Shiba ancestor. They find the Elemental Countries and one little boy who is desperate need of a family.
'Bite' by blackkat Orochimaru and his sons crash‐land in Karakura. Soul Society is most definitely not prepared for what's coming.
'A New Home' by Rain1701 In an effort to save her life and freedom, Hitsugaya Toshiro winds up landing head‐first in the Naruto universe two months before the start of canon. Not much stays the same after that.
'Soul of Fire' by Zeionia aka Disturbed After being betrayed by Soul Society, Ichigo and his sisters leave Karakura behind to find shelter with the remains of their grandfather's clan in the Land of Fire. Instead of the peaceful life they were hoping for, they reach Konoha just as a new danger appears to threaten the Uzumaki. Heart‐broken and tired of fighting, will Ichigo be able to protect his sisters and his new home?
Bleach/Stargate
'Stardust' by Vathara What if some Alterans found another way to survive the Wraith? Five thousand years before the Stargate opens, contact with creatures of energy changes the way of life for an Alteran colony…
Card Captor Sakura/Harry Potter
'Cardcaptor Harry' by LunaStorm In which both Albus Dumbledore and Clow Reed would have done well to remember that there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in any philosophy… or predicted by the most imprecise branch of magic…
Doctor Who/Marvel
'Alien Taskforce' by TheSovereigntyofReality Just because S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers didn't listen to Tony after the Battle of New York, it doesn't mean no one did.
Downton Abbey/Marvel
'Tony Stark Meets an Extremely Unimpressed Time Traveler, or, Thomas Barrow Makes a Surprisingly Good 21st Century Butler' by Alex51324 In which Tony Stark ditches a boring party, makes an addition to the household staff, throws a much better party, and tries not to sexually harass his new butler.
Or, In which Thomas Barrow has a little trouble getting home from the pub, is generally unimpressed with many aspects of the 21st century, never thought of himself as a conservative dresser before, and may or may not be falling in lust with his new employer.
Gilmore Girls/Stargate
'Physics of the Spin' by Mhalachai Rory Gilmore always thought she was Christopher Hayden's daughter, but things are a little more complicated than that…
Good Omens/Supernatural
'Misfire' by VivatRex Crowley finds himself in another universe; Aziraphale goes to fetch him. In the meantime, Team Free Will has to figure out what to do with the 6,000 year old demon that won't stay in a devil's trap and keeps rooting through Dean's vinyl collection. Shenanigans ensue.
Gundam Wing/Naruto
'Worlds Apart' by Mieren Something went horribly wrong and Duo and Naruto are in the wrong worlds. Ninja vs technology. How could this possibly go wrong?
Harry Potter/Marvel
'Behind the Shield' by GeeEs It was a good thing the new scientist, Dr. Harry Evans, was working out so well. Because nothing else was going Fury's way. And that was before Loki made off with the Tesseract and some of his people. Maybe AU to Mortem Cantor by Kyandua.
'How Harry Failed to Conquer New York' by Impossible_Insanity
'I See The Moon' by hctiB‐notsoB While on the run, Bruce meets a young man who speaks to the moon. He's probably not quite the sanest friend Bruce could have made, but, well… beggars can't be choosers.
'Mischief's Heir' series by mad_fairy Mostly Harry Potter with the addition of Loki in the first parts
'Mortem Cantor' by Kyandua After losing everything he holds dear, Harry Potter is thrust into a new world; one with Superheroes and evil Villains that make Voldemort look like a kitten. Struggling to survive in this new world - and, meanwhile, gaining the attention of S.H.I.E.L.D. - he attempts to live a NORMAL life. But, he is Harry Potter after all... what could possibly go wrong?
'On Punching Gods and Absentee Dads' by Enigmaris Harry finds out that his dad is alive, has been the whole time. Instead of being overjoyed, Harry's disgusted. His dad left earth and abandoned his friends. Every painful thing he's ever gone through can be traced back to one man. Now Harry's got super strength he can't control and an almost unnecessary amount of magical power. His dad might be living it up with the Avengers now but not for long. With the help of his friends, Harry comes up with a plan for revenge. Get ready Avengers, Harry's out to punch a god.
'Safeguard' by esama The Chitauri invasion launches a whole new age – for everyone.
Inuyasha/Yu Yu Hakusho
'Devoted' by Ookami‐chan Loving someone means seeing to it that they receive nothing but the very best of care. In all things.
'Healing Soul' by Trelweny Rosephoenixwolf Canon, IY slightly alternate ending, BG blend but more manga than anime; YYH boys' last year of school but otherwise through series, anime only.
'By Any Other Name' by Deviant Nature Kagome's return after an unexplained, prolonged absence leaves her family with questions she refuses to answer except to assure that it's over. While she attempts to readapt to the present, Kurama is feeling the pressures of human society's expectations. But the solutions to his troubles aren't as straight‐forward as he had hoped. Note: Unrated version is on MediaMiner.net as 'Par Tout Autre Nom'
Harry Potter/Ranma 1/2
'Harry Hibiki and the Philosopher's Stone' by USA_Tiger On the night Voldemort attacks the Potter's home, a completely different person finds Harry before Sirius Black or Hagrid. Harry is found and adopted by Nerima's very own eternal lost boy Ryoga Hibiki! Soon Harry will be joining his classmates at Hogwarts but how will Hogwarts handle this kind of Harry? And how does it affect the prophecy, what is the 'power he knows not?
Harry Potter/Sherlock
'The Avalon Seven' by sifshadowheart Major Non‐Canon A/U, Harry is treated for abuse and massive injuries by John Watson as a John Doe. To help solve the mystery of the battered boy John calls in his partner Sherlock — whose father has much more information about his patient than John ever thought possible. Turning to an old acquaintance, Siger Holmes contacts the Lord of the Most Ancient and Noble House of Wallace…Harry's rightful guardian.
First several chapters will be covering Pre‐Hogwarts years, story starts with Harry at age four so it'll be a while before any sort of slash or real conflict happens. Very political fic with lots of twists and turns. Because the plot‐bunnies won't leave me alone!
'Magnificent' by esama The birth of the Ministry of Magic and his relationship with the British Government.
'Whispers in Corners' by esama Everything started with a stumble — his new life in a new world as well as his surprisingly successful career as a medium.
Harry Potter/Sherlock/Star Trek
'Harder Choices' by sifshadowheart Post‐Avalon Seven A/U…a.k.a. This is what happens when plot‐bunnies start mating and multiplying.
Hadrian saves Earth…at a cost
Hetalia/Naruto
'An Englishman in Konoha' by pupeez4eva Itachi Uchiha is a strange child, who regularly converses with things no one else can see, drinks far too much tea, and has a strong and unyielding obsession with being the best big brother ever (or, in a world where England is reborn into the Naruto universe, Itachi ends up a little…different).
The Hobbit/Sherlock
'All Things Old and New' by teacup_of_doom All around the world, people are remembering past lives. Bilbo Baggins discovers that Tookish streaks can span lifetimes — and can have unintended, hilarious, consequences.
Katekyou Hitman Reborn!/Naruto
'Force of Nature' by Ramabear (RyMagnatar) He had died— honorably, he'd like to think, despite living as a villain and an assassin for over half a century— and that, as far as Xanxus had ever figured, would be the end of that. No heaven. No hell. Just life when you were breathing and nothingness when you stopped.
Except that it didn't, quite, turn out that way. Except he came back as the son of the kindest, sometimes saddest father in the world. In both worlds. A father that he knew, without a doubt, to be his flesh and blood. All at once, Xanxus had everything he'd wanted as a child. A home. A family. Stability. And he was going to fight like hell and beat down anyone who tried to take it from him, no matter what his age.
(In which Sakumo raises a son who speaks multiple languages from birth, all of them gibberish to the poor single father jounin, spits vulgarity with the same ease as he does his praise and burns with an unshakable determination to build himself a family that will not fall, no matter who or what is thrown against it.)
'Uchiha Kyōya' by Tsume_Yuki In a world where Fugaku has three sons, he wishes he'd stopped at the one. There's nothing wrong with the youngest, it's just…
The middle child.
Marvel/Sherlock
'In Which Neither Coulson nor Sherlock are Dead' by TheDullYellowEye … and John sort of joins the Avengers. While Coulson's recovering from being stabbed in the chest by a magical spear, Fury is rapidly running out of Agents willing to play babysitter for the newly founded Avengers. So he calls in Captain John Watson, late of the British Royal Army, and blogger and best friend to the infamously antisocial presumably deceased Sherlock Holmes.
Naruto/One Piece
'Lost Uzumaki' by Silver Dragonfly (lillikira) Shanks was used to strange meetings on the various islands of the Grand Line. However, this one was unusual even for the Grand Line. A Lost Uzumaki is found and Naruto has no plans of not becoming part of his family. (A Series of Snapshots about the finding of lost family.)
Naruto/Pern
'One World's Tragedy is Another World's ...Gain?' by Foodmoon Pern goes to hell in a handbasket. Ir'ca tries to rescue the future of dragonkind by being a thief and somehow ends up in the Land of Fire. It's probably a good thing Kakashi handed over the Hat a while back...
Naruto/Sherlock
'Deduction in Shadows' by GremlinSR Shikaku just wanted to finish his paperwork before lunch so he could squeeze in an afternoon nap. His plans are derailed by a six year old orphan when she sneaks into his office with proof that somebody has been kidnapping the children of Konoha and covering it up.
He never does end up getting that nap.
Or: A Holmes is reborn into the ninja village Konoha. Chaos ensues
Rise of the Guardians/Marvel
'Constellations of Old' by kuroi_atropos When the Man in the Moon recognizes Thor as a representative of Asgard, he decides to send the Guardians of Childhood to ask for help vanquishing the last of shadows, as well as a few other things he could use some help with.
'Winter Gods' by avearia The Guardians discover that, outside of Earth, many races actually worship Jack as a God. Meanwhile, the Avengers deal with the implications that come with an almighty spirit, otherworldly religions, and the revelation that Santa is real.
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thorne93 · 4 years
Text
Long Lost Love (Part 6)
Prompt: Clint just lost everything. He turns to you – an old friend and an old flame – for comfort. Can you keep your old feelings at bay? Can he?
Word Count: 2611
Warnings: The Snap, grief, loss, mentions of abuse throughout series, angst will be the best friend in this fic
Note: This was written after IW, but before Endgame - so I have my own take on how certain things happened. Couldn’t have done this without @arrow-guy @carryonmyswansong @like-a-bag-of-potatoes (my amazing betttaa!) @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo
Aesthetic by @dontshootmespence
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~~~~~~~~~~~~
When you awoke the next morning, you were filled with a mix of wonder, hope, and worry. You wondered if Clint would regret his actions and reject you. You wondered if he’d feel guilty or ashamed. You didn’t know how he’d react at all. You only hoped that he felt happy that he did what he did last night. 
You made your way downstairs to find him making a big breakfast, whistling, with a towel over his shoulder as he prepared breakfast.
“Morning,” you softly said.
He turned and greeted you with a dazzling smile. “Good morning.” He came over and kissed you again, quick but firm and earnest. He went back to cooking.
“Making breakfast I see, need a hand?”
“Nope, I’ve got it. It’s almost done,” he assured. 
You smiled, relieved that he was in a good mood and didn’t appear to regret anything. 
The two of you worked on the farm all day together and he was nothing but smiles. You couldn’t figure out what had triggered the change in him, but whatever it was, you were thankful for it. 
Time marched forward and the two of you seemed to fall into an easy rhythm, almost as if you’d never parted ways all those years ago on that train station platform. One night you two had a board game night to celebrate a hard day’s work. You played Scrabble with the rules that real words were not allowed, but for every word you made, you had to come up with a definition. You did this with every board game in the house. Real rules were thrown out, new rules were in. It was the most fun you’d had in… you couldn’t even remember how long. The two of you were in stitches the whole time until somehow you wound up on the couch, holding each other all night. 
Another night, you two had smores, a small campfire, and both of you laid down, looking up at the stars. 
“Well, this snap didn’t do anything good, at all, but if there’s a silver lining, the stars are a lot more visible with less people,” you mentioned.
“Pollution has dropped quite a bit,” he agreed. “It also helps to be in the middle of nowhere on a farm with one building that has lights,” he added. 
“That too.”
“I’m glad I get to see it with you.” He took his hand and laced his fingers with yours and you felt your entire soul warm to the touch. 
“Reminds me of being out at night after our acts,” you reminisced. 
“Yeah, we always seemed to wind up in some amazing places,” he concurred. 
“Every place was amazing so long as you were there,” you said. 
So far, you and Clint hadn’t labeled what this was. You hadn’t addressed it directly since that first kiss. Part of you was terrified to say anything. That if you called attention to this, it would somehow wake him up from an illusion and he’d break it. He’d see that this wasn’t actually what he wanted. He would see you were Laura’s poor replacement, a rebound, a distraction, a coping mechanism. 
You just didn’t want to face what was probably the truth: he didn’t love you - he loved the idea of you.
Allowing your fear to continue to rule you, and not let it take this precious time from you, you didn’t bring it up. You didn’t question why he wanted you now, you simply accepted it and graciously took the gift of having him be yours again. 
But, when you said things like this, things that danced dangerously close to those three little words, you were afraid it would trigger the response in him you were trying to avoid. 
He simply responded by saying, “I couldn’t agree more.” 
It was reassuring… for now. 
----------------------
One evening, while the summer air was very cool, Clint took you to a nearby water tower. He said the view was breathtaking and considering he had zero fear of heights, it made sense that he’d visit it. You followed him up to the top, and sat there, agreeing that looking out over the country side looked absolutely stunning. Of course, your fear of heights was vacant as well, because every now and then you had to do acrobatic work in the circus if you wanted to survive. 
The two of you sat and talked, drinking beers, talking about nothing in particular for the longest time. After a moment of peaceful quiet, suddenly, Clint said, “You know, I wouldn’t mind seeing the team again. I know I call them off and on, but it’d be nice to actually have them back at the farm, at least once. Just to see their faces.”
You turned your head towards him, holding onto the railing as your feet dangled off the side. “I think that’s a great idea, Clint. If you want to invite them, I think you should. They’re your family after all. I know Nat would love to see you, and I know you’d love to see them.” 
“You sure?” he asked. 
You nodded. “Yeah. It’d be good for all of you. Not to mention, I’d like to properly meet them. I’ve done a few random patch up jobs for all of them but I’ve never said more than ten words to all of them.” 
“Yeah, you’re right. I think you should meet them. You mean a lot to me and they mean a lot to me, it only makes sense to have all of you together.”
“I can make a big meal for everyone,” you said, delighted. “Fried chicken, some desserts. It’ll be a good time.” 
“I think they’d love that,” he agreed. He seemed to be perking up more and more with every second you two talked about this. “I’ll call them first thing. How does this Sunday sound?” 
“Any day is perfect,” you assured. “Just make sure I have enough time to get the house cleaned and to make a grocery run.”
“Will do.”
---------------------------
Clint called his team and two weeks later, they were at the farmhouse, the whole group of them. Rhodey, Natasha, Steve, Tony, Pepper, their baby Morgan, Thor, and Bruce. They came early on Sunday morning and Clint introduced you to everyone. 
He didn’t go into any detail about your past or your present situation. He merely said he had called you up because you were an old friend from the circus that was a vet so you knew your way around animals and the farm. 
Thor seemed to be… putting on a show. You could tell he was careful not to let his smile fall unless he thought no one was looking. Tony and Steve seemed slightly tense, but with the way the world was they were trying to look past their issues. 
You gave them all a moment to talk alone for a while. You and Pepper sat out on the porch, playing with baby Morgan and Lucky, talking casually for a while. Inside, you could only assume Nat, Steve, and the others Clint was closer to talked about Laura and the kids. You assumed they discussed the snap and more detail on what actually happened. You also assumed he expressed his deep regret for not going to help them. 
Everyone greeted you and welcomed you with open arms and when it was time to serve lunch, everyone raved about your food. Thor and Bruce couldn’t get enough of your fried chicken. Pepper complimented you highly on your sparkling strawberry cake. Rhodey said he needed the recipe for your mac and cheese. 
The entire day was spent just talking. It weaved in and out of sorrowful talk of who was gone and what had been done to try to think of ways to get everyone back, to what everyone was up to lately. Steve headed up a therapy group in the city, which made sense. Rhodey and Natasha were working almost round the clock to help police the world of any dangers. Tony, Pepper, and Morgan were just enjoying the closest thing to Tony and Pepper being retired as they could. They had a little cabin a little ways from the city on a gorgeous piece of property with a lake. Thor was working with his fellow Asgardians to rebuild their society somewhere off the coast of a Scandinavian area. Bruce had been recruited to work on ways to get resources efficiently. 
Everyone was doing what they could to keep society going, to get it back to what it was, to try and not remember all the loss everyone faced every day. 
Conversations flowed for a long while, well past dark. It was nice having so much life in the house and you loved seeing everyone. It was no wonder he loved these people. As dinner neared a close, you got up and started cleaning up. Everyone tried to pitch in to help too, but you simply waved them off, telling them you had it covered. Pepper refused to take no for an answer, as did Rhodey. You said they needed to spend time with Clint, but both of them said that the others should really spend time with him. 
Clint said he’d get out of the way then and they went outside to the porch. Nearly everyone had a beer in hand as Tony, Steve, Nat, and Bruce followed. 
“So, uh, what’s up with Y/N in there?” Tony asked in a hushed tone as he turned to face Clint. The group of them stood in a circle facing each other. 
“What do you mean, Tony?” Clint asked, feigning ignorance as he stood there with his arms crossed. 
“I mean, what’s the deal? You said you knew her from your circus days. You still keep in contact with all your old circus buddies?” he pressed, knowing Clint despised his past and never talked about it. The only reason any of them even knew about Clint’s past was because they’d read his file.
“No, I don’t keep in touch with anyone but her. She was the only good thing to come out of those horrible elements.” 
“So she’s your oldest friend, then,” Thor suddenly said. 
“You could say that, yeah. We grew up together…” he replied. All of them could tell there was more he wanted to say, more to say, but he stopped himself.
“Alright, come on, let’s give the guy some space. He’s been through enough,” Natasha tried, wanting them to drop it. Clearly he wasn’t comfortable. 
“Well, whatever she is to you, if she makes you happy and keeps you sane, then I’m glad she’s here,” Steve encouraged with a half smile.
“Thanks, Cap,” he said with a head nod. “Yeah, I… When that all happened, I really thought I was just going to lose it. I sat here and stared, not knowing what to do next. Lucky snapped me out of it, but if I didn’t have him, or these animals to care for… I tell ya, my mind went to some dark places. Y/N keeps me grounded though. She helps me on good days and bad.” 
“That’s good to hear, man, we're happy for you,” Bruce said. 
“We really are,” Nat agreed. 
“I’m not gonna say I’m not happy for you, I am,” Tony said, but there was clearly a punchline coming, “but I gotta know, what is the deal? Did you ever date or think of dating Y/N? She seems perfect for you. Knowing each other for all those years, in those conditions, and now she’s back in your life? That’s some heavy stuff man.” 
“Tony,” Nat started, her face dropping down before smiling, “I think Clint loves her, but he’s too afraid to admit it right now.” 
“That so?” he asked, seeming amused. “I’ll be damned.” 
Clint looked at Nat with an unreadable expression. He was half-glad that she said it and he didn’t have to. He was also worried what his friends would think of him, loving you after what happened to his family. 
“I don’t want you all to think I don’t love and miss Laura, I do,” Clint started, looking at all of his friends.
“None of us think that, Clint,” Steve assured, but he pressed on. 
“You gotta understand, I loved Y/N when we were kids. We were teens. We had that teenage love, you know? It never went away. We never grew out of it. We had to run from our life in the circus, we thought it would be safest if we split up. We said we’d get our lives back on track… Life… life had other plans I guess and I met Laura. I didn’t mean for it to happen, but it did.” 
“You don’t have to explain anything to us, buddy,” Bruce said. 
“No, I know. I think I’m trying to assure myself. To remind myself I’m not a bad person for loving her. She and I… we have history. Being with her… it’s all I ever wanted. It’s what I wanted for years, and now in a sick twist, I can have her. I feel guilty about it, I do, but we love each other, and I don’t see any good reason to deny ourselves of that. I mean, it may be awful to say, but Laura’s not coming back.” Tears filled his eyes and he started to break down before the group came to the rescue and consoled him with hugs and rubbing his back. When he got calmed down he said, “So I just… I don’t see a reason to put off happiness, you know?” 
“We get it,” Nat stated, nodding her head with a sympathetic smile. 
Clint nodded, wiping his face. “I’m glad. I’d hate for you guys to think I’m some awful human.”
“Awful for wanting to be with someone you love?” Steve asked, perplexed. “If I could have Peggy back, I’d take her in a heartbeat, no matter how the universe brought her to me.” 
“Yeah, take it from Pep and me, we wanted to start our family. The world is in shambles but we’ve waited long enough to start our lives together,” Tony said. 
“We’re the last people on earth to have any right to judge and at the end of the day, we just want you to be happy,” Nat informed sweetly, squeezing his shoulder.
He smiled and looked up at his friends. “I love you guys, I really missed you.”
They all smiled back at him and they each hugged. They all needed it more than they knew. 
Eventually, the team came back inside and Pepper and Tony packed up Morgan and everyone started saying their goodbyes and loading into cars. Natasha was the last to leave, giving you both hugs.
“Thank you, for taking care of him,” she quietly said as she wrapped her arms around you.��
You peered at her, confused at first before nodding. “Of course.” 
She hugged Clint and kissed his cheek. She waved to you too, ordered that you call her more often, then got in her car and drove off. 
The two of you smiled at each other and held hands as you walked in. 
“That was a really nice day,” you said happily. 
“Yeah, it was. I’m so glad we did this. Thank you for all you did and encouraging me to invite them,” he said as he put his arms around your waist, holding you close. 
“Anything to see you happy,” you informed.
“I know, that's why I’m so lucky to have you.” He planted a firm kiss on your lips and then you two went off to bed, separately.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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deans-mind-palace · 4 years
Text
Nähkästchenplauderei
For those who didn’t know, that’s German. Normally it would be “aus dem Nähkästchen plaudern” which literally translates to “to talk out of the sewing box”. It’s a common phrase in Germany. Means something like “to spill some beans” or “to catch up on all the gossip”or “to share private information”.
Reason why I’m telling you this?
It’s me, Elena. This is a new part of my blog now. I want to involve all of you more in my daily writing and and the related funny stories, problems or ideas and inspirations. Maybe that’s interesting for you. Maybe it’s just a therapeutic exercise for me, when I’m (not) in the mood to write. Not sure yet. xD
I’ll call it “Nähkästchenplauderei” because I talk about me and writing fanfic but not really about their content. I’ll give you some insider stories about the fanfics I wrote/will write. Funny things. What happened to me during writing it, what gave me inspiration and how I do my research or what is important to me about a certain story and why I’m writing it. The daily life (cough *and struggle* cough) of a writer. If you’re not interested in these pieces of information, then you’ll see just the heading and you’ll know ‘Aaaah, that’s not a story I can read so that’s not interesting for me’. So it’s easier for you to skip. But I thought this could be interesting for you. I want to get to know you more and you can always laugh with me or smack your forehead because of my craziness. This could be fun and I am encouraging you to discuss themes or to tell me your opinion or own experiences. Of course, I hope that many of you take part. ❤️
I’ll tag you all only in this part, afterwards you can tell me, if you want to be notified. If you don’t drop a comment, I’ll automatically take you off my taglist for “Nähkästchenplauderei”. I don’t know how many parts this will have. I’ll write one every time I’m in the mood for it.
*oOo*
Nähkästchenplauderei - A blog about my blog. 
A new passion - Or the story of me buying a guitar on Amazon at 1am
I always do a lot of research for my stories. I know some authors hate it, but I love doing research. It’s like playing detective and investigating while educating myself further. I always do Pinterest boards (I can share them with you, if you want) for my series because looking at the pictures and the links inspires me during writing. The ‘Simple Man Series’ is Set in an alternative universe where Jensen is a Country singer. I had no idea about country music, to be honest. I got all my knowledge about it from watching ‘Walk the line’ but that’s it. Obviously, I needed to do research! I created a Spotify playlist for the series (which I will link as soon as it’s uploaded).
When I wrote Suspirium or collected pictures for my Pinterest boards I always listened to it. Somehow I fell in love with this kind of music. I never played an instrument because I didn’t have the patience. I played to flute in fifth grade, because it was part of the Music class. We even got grades for playing it. Let me tell you, it was a disaster! Always got Ds. Although I got an A one time. Every time I practiced the flute, my dog started to howl. You see, it really was  awful. I believe that’s why I lost the interest in playing an instrument. I still went to the choir, though, because I loved singing (still do). I always said, if I had the patience I’d love to learn the piano or the guitar, because these are basic instruments and you can play everything on them.
Guess what? I sat there and was writing Suspirium when an idea started to from in my head. There are dozens of Corona online lessons for the guitar, beginner models of guitars aren’t that expensive and you can still sell them or use them as decoration. Normally, I overthink everything. I need ages to make an decision, normally weeks or months till I lost the interest. So I did my research. Which model? Acoustic, western or concert? Which size? Guitar scale? How do I identify a quality product? Best YouTube channels? Best apps?
Found a black one and I immediately fell in love with it. And guess what? It’ll arrive by tomorrow afternoon! :D I really did it and I’m a bit proud of myself for not overthinking it! I’m looking forward to learning every song of artists I love. Adele, Pink, Ed Sheeran, Sam Smith, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Linkin Park, Train, Oasis, James Arthur, Tom Walker, Lewis Capaldi, James Blunt, Bruno Mars, Coldplay, Shawn Mendes, John Legend, Common Linnets, Lumineers and thousands more. Of course, some of my new Country faves, too. 
My first song will either be ‘Simple Man’ because the story was inspired by it and it was the first song that I’ve heard Jensen sing or ‘Hey there Delilah’ because I love that one right now. It’s my current catchy tune.
These will be followed by ‘The One that got away’ by Pink and ‘Bonfire heart’ by James Blunt. If these four aren’t too difficult, of course... I’ll keep you updated. :D
*oOo*
The story behind Suspirium - Or as I like to call it, the story of reviving a more than dead language.
I have that idea since I’ve started this blog some time ago. I wasn’t sure if I should make it a Dean, Sam or Cas story, so I brought my arguments up and you could decide which professor you want, remember? As soon as you chose Sam, I knew that he would be a Latin Prof. That’s based on the canon in the series and my preferences. Sam is the best in Latin in the entire series. And I am able to read, translate AND EVEN SPEAK Latin, so it’s something I can relate to. A great subject, although I know that the opinions on Latin are different. 
I can speak five languages (German - my mother tongue, English, Spanish, Dutch and Latin, I’d like to learn French soon) and I personally think Latin’s a beautiful language. Of course, it doesn’t sound as beautiful and elegant as French (although French has its origin in Latin). But a language is a lot more than the emphasis. In one of the first chaps of Suspirium Sam and Reader discuss the beauty of Latin.
“Latin is the language of law, architecture and engineering, the military, science, philosophy, religion and - of particular interest here - the language of a flourishing literature which for centuries served as a model for all Western literature. The Latin of literature speaks of love and war in hundreds of masterpieces, reflects on the body and soul, develops theories about the meaning of life and the tasks of man, about the fate of the soul and the nature of matter, sings of the beauty of nature, the meaning of friendship, the pain of losing all that is dear to one; and it criticizes depravity, ponders death, the arbitrariness of power, violence and cruelty. It creates inner images, puts emotions into words, formulates ideas about the world and social life. Latin is the language of the relationship between the one and everything.” Suspirium, Chapter 3
Roman poets are more than two millennia dead, BUT the themes they wrote about (Love, pain, friendship and braveness, also sex...) are still actual in our society. They stood the test of time. A language where no ‘thank you’ exists, just a ‘to be thankful’. This language is mysterious, its culture unbelievable nowadays. It’s like an enigma that wants to be solved - or not, depends on you and if you learn your vocabulary. Trust me, I had to learn that the hard way in seventh grade. ;) 
Sam is basically my old Latin teacher. He uses the same methods and tells the same things. He makes jokes, adds additional information and makes his students question the meaning behind the poems and stories.  Sometimes I even used words my teacher said to us. I looked up some of my Latin notes and use that for the lectures. It’s a lot of fun and that’s where I get my inspiration from. A big thank you to my teacher. This story would not work out without him always encouraging me and explaining everything to me, even if he had to do it three times. Gratiam habeo, magister. :D
Questions for you, only if you want to:
 Do you play an instrument? Which or would you like to play one?
What’ your favourite genre and who’s your favourite artist and which song?
How many languages do you speak? Which? Which would you like to speak (in addition)? 
Wanna tell me your name and origin? 
-> Next post will probably be about how I make my covers, choose GIFs, find inspiration on Pinterest and Spotify and my first friendship ever on Tumblr some years ago. And how I got in touch with SPN.
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paramathmaguru · 3 years
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Spirituality - Definition - The True Inner Meaning
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Spirituality is one word which places a human being on the highest pedestal of life. It is area of Spirituality traveling on which one reaches the last leg of cosmic life nay the kind of human being himself! The objective of Spirituality is acquiring salvation (moksha in Hinduism)! From the beginning of the initial indication as an amoeba to the last symptom (the 8.4 millionth indication) ... the goal of every life remains the very same. The stage of life as a human being announces that the life has come full circle. It is only as a human being that can get informed (reach the phase of Nirvikalpa samadhi) as well as attain salvation (moksha in Hinduism). Reaching the stage of knowledge is the last action in the field of Spirituality. Spirituality is living life as it was meant to be ... not as we may have preferred or wanted living it. Living a life of selection is not the forte of all humans. Those on the course of pure Spirituality ... real candidates of Spirituality are occasionally able to colonialism by establishing absolute control over it. It is a certain reality that only the true candidates of Spirituality become the masters of their destiny. Purposefully or unwittingly lots of people that have a materialistic objective in life traveling the course of Spirituality and come to be effective in life. It was not an occurring by chance ... all was the result of a law which can not err. These highly well-known individuals unknowingly step the path of pure Spirituality as well as attained the goal of their life. Spirituality in various other terms suggests that before we ask God the Almighty for product treasures to be presented upon us ... we need to compensate by providing something equivalent or much more back to the neighborhood. This is the course embarked on by most successful entrepreneurs. In terms of Spirituality we are not expected to get anything unless we assure to do something in return ... in the system of God there is justice all throughout. As we desire ... so shall be the equivalent karma we would certainly be required to carry out. Mere incorrect assurances bring us nothing. It was the strong suit of JRD Tata that he constantly enjoyed his nation and the compatriot. The advantage of the society was leading in his mind constantly. The prime reason that the Tata Empire is known as the structure contractor of India! Tata name itself is representative of developing a technological Empire for the advantage of entire nation. This is what Spirituality is all about. JRD Tata was a trustee par excellence. According to him whatever belonged to God as well as he was just a trustee performing the determines of God. In his life time he never built a house for himself. His love for the product treasures of life did not appear to exist in all. His every endeavor was aimed at boosting the lifestyle of human life and the country in its entirety. What a worthy persona JRD Tata was ... a true karma yogi indeed! He did not live Spirituality instead Spirituality resided in him. He was an ideal example of how a true spiritual hunter should live his life. JRD might have never ever confessed that he lived a spiritual life however unknowingly he practiced Spirituality every moment of his life. JRD Tata complied with the determines of Bhagwad Gita throughout his life unconsciously. Apart from being a real karma yogi ... he also excelled in educating the core values to the society. He was among the rarest kinds that have ever emphasized environment as product riches and also comforts in life never ever attracted him come whatever may. JRD Tata excelled in human worths to the degree that also most established people on the path of pure Spirituality get overshadowed by his accomplishments. Spirituality is not only looking for the domain name of God yet also in day-to-day matters of life every human being demands to exercise Spirituality. The popular stating, "whatever we want others to do unto us ... we ought to do unto them" develops the core mentors of Spirituality. It is not merely a claiming. It needs to be exercised in reality as was taught as well as advocated by Napoleon hillside in his well-known publications "think and grow rich", "master key to treasures" as well as the well-known "regulation of success in sixteen lessons". These three Scriptures publications by Napoleon hill ... "Believe and also grow abundant", "opener to treasures" and the well-known "law of success in sixteen lessons" create the core of Spirituality. There is no argument regarding that. At every phase Napoleon hillside has actually forecasted that prior to we can anticipate anything from God we require to provide something back to the area. He was also a true practitioner of Spirituality from heart. Spirituality definitely aids one take control of fate. As we proceed on the path of pure Spirituality we often tend to develop a favorable method in the direction of life. Reeling at all times under a positive mindset of mind ... One has the ability to make improvements those vital aspects of life which are an absolute should if one needs to come to be the master of his own destiny. Spirituality makes a perfect guy out of a negative thinker. In the field of Spirituality there is no place for any negative thinking. One that has actually repaired a goal in life as well as constantly indulges in positive oriented thinking can not be a loser in life. It can never take place! Spirituality drinks the complying with virtues in a person: Spirituality makes you feel constantly that there is something higher than the mere presence as a person. Spirituality spells out that God exists within every living being as our spirit (the atman within). It is God within us which overviews us on the best course whenever we tend to fail. Spirituality instills in every human being a sensation of positive ness all throughout. Drifting on the positive psychological plane brings one closer to our objective of life. It is Spirituality as well as spirituality alone which prompts as well as overviews one in the right instructions whenever we feel cheated by the senses dominating upon us. To be able ahead out of the clutches of the 5 detects is what Spirituality is everything about. If we desire to understand God truly then we require to adhere to the course of pure Spirituality. It is just as a real spiritual candidate shall we understand God one-day. It is a Spirituality which shortens the path and makes the entire world look like a family. In the spiritual domain name there is no area for various religions, dogmas or creeds. Our wanton needs disappear ... the minute Spirituality takes complete control over us! Spirituality absolutely is the significance of life. Nevertheless materialistic we possibly on the earthly airplane ... there shall come a day when Spirituality would entirely wipe us clean of all the contaminations within us. Without Spirituality the life or a human being resembles a rudderless boat going round and also round in the unfathomable sea of life. It is Spirituality which teaches every human being the real worth of life ... being spiritual is not being religious alone ... Spirituality teaches us the core values of life ... the real essence people! It is only through Spirituality that God is able to guide the humanity towards its destined goal. As several human beings ... as various spiritual paths! Right from day one when we are birthed and until the dying breath ... it is Spirituality which keeps our heart pumping throughout. It is Spirituality which gets rid of all doubts that our spirit (the atman within the body) is the actual master as well as our body is yet to degeneration and pass away. Spirituality clears all uncertainties connected to the concept of God. Whenever in doubt ... the wise comply with the determines of the spiritual masters of the era! Every spiritual being merges his identification with the Supreme Being (the Almighty God). Spirituality validates that life has to go on ... it is a trip to be finished in several phases (8.4 million symptoms as a matter of fact). It is Spirituality which validates that the life of a human of 70 to 80 years is however a flow in the total life a span of our soul (the atman within). The total life expectancy of the spirit being an optimum of 96.4 million earthly years! Spirituality has no partnership whatsoever with religious beliefs. Adhering to a religion suggests adhering to the dictates of a successful spiritual master ... one that has actually already covered the trip and also has actually come to be efficient in directing the humanity to its logical end.
  SPIRITUALITY Faith is implied for living a solitary span of earthly life. However Spirituality overviews every living being to its sensible end in the incessant planetary trip taken on by the spirit (our atman within). It is Spirituality alone which gets rid of the anxiety of fatality from those that have actually launched the peak of spiritual life. Spirituality offers you a commanding setting in life. One can benefit over 23 hours each day having actually obtained outright control over rest. This is not only feasible but can be observed by enjoying the upper rung of spiritual masters. The presence of Spirituality in our lives can not be done away with for it creates the internal core of our manifested physical life. Behind every success lies the core of Spirituality which guides one inherently all throughout the planetary trip. In technique ... when I began looking for God at an early age of 13 years ... I was so confused regarding life that I believed it was just the spiritual masters who shall guide me on the ideal course. I was so incorrect. It was at the age of 37 that I was available in call with God one-to-one basis. It was the pinnacle of my spiritual search. My life had come cycle. This was to be my last indication. I had reached the end of cosmic life. The difference between Spirituality and also religion were currently definitely clear to me. Having actually been able to traverse the path as a real seeker of Spirituality and reach completion objective has been an actually enjoyable experience. Whatever I attempt to convey to the community is based upon true personal experience of life. Being my last vacation on Environment I have yet to give the pearls of Spirituality I have actually learned prior to I leave the temporal framework. Spirituality is not to be practiced simply in theory. Spirituality is not consisted of in the spiritual textbooks alone. We all at once require to practice pure Spirituality as well as try getting to completion of the planetary life. Attaining salvation in today life would be something every human being would certainly desire.
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tessatechaitea · 4 years
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The Invisibles #4
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Is this how idiotic social beliefs are purged from assholes?
I don't understand the people who want less politics in comic books. We need more politics in comic books! Except what I don't really understand is using the word "politics" when they're actually angry about discussing social ills. Except I really do understand what they mean when they refer to social issues as politics. Certain people refer to being compassionate and kind and inclusive as "political correctness" because they can't imagine being compassionate or kind or inclusive until the cost of not being those things adversely affects them. So they think people only believe in being that way if it confers some kind of selfish advantage, usually in the political arena. And thus actually being a compassionate human being becomes political to them. Also, can we just stop arguing about how comic books used to be when they've always been about making the world a better place and there have always been comic book fans who found that political because they were terrible people? A terrible person reading a comic book where Batman stops some bank robbers can feel good about the story because they know they'll never rob a bank. But when Batman deals with some social ill, the terrible reader might see themselves reflected back at them in the villain of the story. Suddenly, to them, the story has become political. How dare the comic book company choose the other side which is just a political difference and not a basic human decency issue! And they never think, "Maybe, like Batman, I should also try to do better?" No, instead they send a letter to the publisher demanding that the publisher change the stories they tell so that they don't have to take a long, hard look at themselves. Ideas are political. If you think a story about Batman breaking the bones of The Joker's henchmen because The Joker is robbing banks isn't political, you're kidding yourself. You're just not looking deeply enough into the story and the systemic problems in Gotham that creates a demand for henchmen that are desperate enough to work for a maniac who could murder them at any moment while also having to worry about a man in a bat suit nearly killing them for working for the maniac. How is a billionaire going out at night dressed as a flying rodent to beat up poor and mentally ill people not political? How is any Superman story not political when it's about an immigrant to America embracing his new country and trying to make it a better place for everybody? If you actually think you want comic books to not be political, you're telling on yourself. You're just saying that you're the type of person who doesn't want to read criticism's about our world that might make you feel guilty about your selfish attitude. The Invisibles is an old comic book which came out 26 years ago and it couldn't be more political. But then it's dealing with magic and the irreality of reality, so if you're dumb enough, you can probably pretend it's not political at all.
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This issue begins with a Books of Magic trading card.
At the end of the last issue, Tom told Dane they were going to climb to the top of the skyscraper with the magic pyramid on top and leap off. It was going to teach Dane about the finality of life and not really kill him. But when this issue begins, they seem to have put that off for the moment. Instead, they've stolen a sports car, driven it out to some sleepy little UK pasture, and begun a game of catch with a Frisbee. Tom starts rambling on about how his time is up and he's going to die because he's a warrior sorcerer and his time is up and he can see the shape of his life and it's super small and everything sucks but it also doesn't, you know? Dane barely listens to him because he's now full of life again and he just wants to do the things people who feel alive do. I don't know what those things are because I just sit in barely lit rooms reading terrible books from my youth and finding reasons not to begin writing my second module for my role playing game, Places & Predators. I should take a break and call my mother! I'm back! I also ate and watched an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation and an episode of Community and lay on the couch with Gravy.
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Gravy's head is behind mine and not inside mine because we don't own a teleportation device and, if we did, we wouldn't be so careless with it.
The next day, Tom and Dane head off to jump off of a skyscraper. Tom will presumably be doing it for real because he's tired and he's done his part and he thinks Dylan Thomas is a fucking asshole who can't just let a person die in peace when they're ready to go. I mean, lay off me, Dylan! I'm fucking dying here! This isn't about you and your fear of death (which, ironically, is probably why you drink so much and why you'll be dead at 39). Dane smokes some blue mold which will probably allow him to fly or bounce or something. Sometimes I think about the angst of youth and then I think about how optimistic and embracing Quiet Riot was of the youth and youth culture and it just makes me fucking smile, man. That wasn't supposed to be a non sequitur. That was just a reaction I had to Tom telling some bystanders witnessing Dane's drug induced realizations, "It's drugs. Dope. They're all on it nowadays. With their computer games and violent videos and swear words. We had The Bible and a nice apple when I was his age." Tom is being smarmy and telling the adults what they want to hear. And, especially with reference to their video games, it made me think of Quiet Riot who didn't care what adults wanted to hear. They knew what the kids needed to hear. And it wasn't just "Being a teenager sucks and we get it and the world is garbage!" Their message was often "We see how things are different for you and how you cope differently than we did and we fucking get it man and we approve and you're going to be all right. Your doing good, kids." Most of you probably only know "Metal Health" and "Cum on Feel the Noize" so you're thinking, "What the fuck are you talking about?" But some of you also know "Winners Take All" and "The Wild and the Young" so you fucking know what I'm talking about.
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This reminds me of The Last Temptation of Christ.
The problem with books that revolve around Jesus is that I truly can't tell if they're making a statement about secular life or if they're truly reinforcing the opinion that Jesus was the son of God and the only truth you need to know about Jesus is that he was resurrected. Was Jesus preaching about being good on Earth because it was the salvation of your soul and your way into heaven? Or was Jesus literally trying to tell everybody to give unto Caesar what is Caesar's because this shit don't matter, bro. Fuck Earth and Earthly conceits. Should every action taken on Earth be concerned with your spiritual self and your relationship with God and getting into heaven? Because I'm tempted to see The Last Temptation of Christ as a parable for secular life. Are we all Christ in the desert being tempted by the devil away from our true calling? But if all the regular trappings of society are illusions and lures away from whatever it is we should do, what is there really? What would a person do if they didn't have a career? Or a spouse? Or a mortgage? Or a child? Not falling for those temptations isn't enough, right? So what's the next step? Sacrificing your own desires for the common good of the world? But what common good would that be if people aren't supposed to fall for any material temptations?! What are we striving for if we aren't striving for everybody to equally fall for the same societal illusions?! What is the magic asking of us?! To just burn it all down to prove that we weren't fooled by any of it?! How is waking up outside of The Matrix better than living within it?! Show me my fucking cards before you ask me to jump off the top of a skyscraper is what I'm saying! You know what? I think that's what Jesus asked God the night of the Last Supper! Jumping off of a skyscraper to get Dane to pierce the illusion of reality and see what lies beneath is way better than giving him a red or blue pill. The Matrix pussed out, even though it had this scene from The Invisibles as a perfect example of what it was doing. Dane survives the leap and finds himself in a four color comic sci-fi pulp novel cover. The world has changed and he's not sure what to do. So he goes to the address of the Invisible College that Tom gave him. He's finally ready to report for duty. Dane meets the other Invisibles: King Mob, Ragged Robin, Boy, and Lord Fanny (which would have gone right over my head in 1994 and possibly only made it into the comic book because the editors didn't know quite enough British slang). As far as drag names go, Lord Fanny is proper good. Meanwhile, some shadowy guy answers a phone call from Orlando (probably exactly the Orlando you're thinking of because why not? He/she was good enough for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen). They discuss raiding an Invisibles safe house they've discovered. But the non-Orlando guy on the phone can't direct it because he's got British politics to do.
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Back in 1994, I also wouldn't have understood what this door with the 10 on it was telling me about the person on the phone.
Dane decides to stick with The Invisibles as Jack Frost and they make their getaway before Orlando and the Prime Minister's Myrmidons break into the safe house. All they find is a chalkboard that reads, "Big Brother is watching you. Learn to become invisible," and a pink grenade with the word "smile" printed on it in ransom letter letters. And that's the end of the first story arc. The Invisibles #4 Rating: A. I'm seriously getting angry at my 23 year old self for not continuing to purchase this series. It's hard to remember exactly where I was at that time in my life that caused me to stop reading it. I'm sure I liked it. Maybe I just had trouble remembering it from month to month. Or maybe I just missed Issue #6 at the comic book store (I never had anything put on hold. I'd just show up on Wednesdays (unless it was Thursday back then? I can't even remember that!) and pick up my books (I didn't even ask the store to hold a copy of the Death of Superman for me. The clerk, Jeff, just happened to hold one for me anyway. He probably thought I was super cool or something)) and so just forgot about the series. Maybe I'll pick up the collected edition whenever my local comic book store reopens. Although if I show my face in there, they may try to get me to buy comics that were placed in my pull box after I cancelled my pull box. See, they weren't getting comics from Diamond for over a month and I just decided it was as good a time as any to stop buying new comics. So I cancelled my pull box. But what if, in their mind, I was still on the hook to buy all the comics for the weeks that Diamond didn't ship?! That would be fucked up and, knowing me, I'd instantly cave and say, "Oh yeah! Okay! Sorry! Sorry! I'll purchase all of this shit I don't want anymore just so we don't continue this awkward conversation!"
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lyricalive · 4 years
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A soul is an electric force, full of potential energy.
——Can we find souls in unlikely places, and set them into motion?
中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance
#01  Lullaby of a Deserted Hell
From a bird's-eye view, the figures of two sprightly maidens would appear like dolls amidst the surrounding range of artificial mountains, a stunning silvery wasteland.
The taller of the two small-looking girls, Maribel Hearn (Merry) planted her hands on her hips as she surveyed the junk that encircled them in all directions.
   – "I can't believe you managed to convince me to go dumpster-diving.  Is this a step up or down from graverobbing?"
   – "We didn't rob anything from the graveyard.  I definitely want to find something worth taking from here, though."
   – "So this is a step down."
   – "Nah, it's fine.  These are all things that no one wants."
   – "Or things that no one wants to be seen.  Of course, that means…"
   – "It's the perfect place for the Secret Sealing Club!"
The club's current president, Renko Usami, pumped her fist with plenty of good cheer.  Merry smiled back, although she had mixed feelings about calling a land of literal garbage home.
   – "We can't just have normal dates, can we?"
Fortunately, at least, the garbage was not excessively odorous or grimy.  The site was a landfill specifically for electronic waste: frayed wires, boxy television frames, old phone models of all kinds.
The time was just around sunset -- more specifically 7:42 and 33 seconds, according to Renko's discerning eyes.  The mild starlight reflected off of broken LCD screens, making them appear ever so slightly less lifeless.
 #02  Rigid Paradise
   – "What exactly are we looking for...  Let me guess.  Hoping to find some retro videogames?"
   – "I won't lie.  That'd be great."
   – "But finding both a game and the console to go with it is going to be tough."
   – "Did you know, if a company manufactures more games than it can sell, they end up buried underground to get them out of circulation?"
   – "How wasteful.  At least they were given a proper funeral."
   – "The first time this happened was long ago in another country.  Thousands of unsold cartridges...  Just because they weren't popular at the time, now they'll never be played.  I'd love to give them a chance."
   – "Hee-hee, so much for a funeral.  I suppose we're not in the business of letting the dead rest in peace."
In this unique sort of graveyard, the bodies had been piling up for countless years.  Most of the material would never biodegrade, so the mounds kept accumulating, one layer buried under the next.  In fact, despite the oceans rising drastically over recent years, this dumping ground remained unusually high above sea level for the sole reason that its foundation was constantly being reinforced by layers of tightly packed waste.  
Renko, who had taken the precaution to wear pants and gloves on this excursion, knelt down to examine a mess of circuitry at the bottom of a looser heap.  Merry meanwhile nudged the tip of her shoe against the ground, pondering how deep down was the earth.
#03  Poison Body ~ Forsaken Doll
The girl in black and white impatiently murmured the time, for the fourth time that hour, before stretching her back and turning around to check on her partner.
   – "Find anything interesting yet, Merry?"
Merry, who had been spacing out for some while, quickly darted her eyes around for an improvised answer. A glint of light led her gaze to a long, flat cell phone teetering unceremoniously atop of a pile.
   – "This...  Haven't I seen this model in advertisements recently?  How did this already become trash?"
   – "Oh, you know.  Technology becomes out-of-date awfully quickly these days."
   – "Mm.  I'd like to see it as a sign of progress, but…"
   – "Yeah, it's not good at all.  We're in an age of quantity over quality."
Manufacturers who design their products to poor standards, so as to improve on them soon after, are akin to the type of trickster youkai that disguises itself in beggars' clothes to take advantage of others' low expectations.  In this selfishly self-deprecating society, it had become a disadvantage to show one's best.
   – "Everyone knows this, but thinking about it makes me so irritated."
   – "Right?  Humanity is really holding itself back."
   – "On top of that, don't they know that this is how vengeful tsukumogami are born?"
An object that has gone unused for 100 years is believed to develop a consciousness.  Some end up harmless -- but if its short life was spent being used as nothing more than throwaway capital, naturally it would make sense for it to become unhappy.
Merry laid one hand gently on the phone, as if in a gesture of sympathy.
   – "Hey, be careful not to touch more than you need to.  It may look clean, but the chemicals released by e-waste can still be toxic."
   – "Ah, right..."
She felt a bit sheepish for needing safety lessons from Renko, of all people.  But, having thought too hard about it, it became difficult for Merry to view the objects as just physical material.  A great majority of one's life was lived by virtual communication, so this material had great amounts of personal information stored in it.  Of course, the information's original source was in people's minds, so it's not as if it would be instantly forgotten once the plug was pulled.  But there were certainly more petabytes of raw data in a square meter of this dump than a human brain could hold.
#04  Electric Heritage
   – "Come to think of it, though, have you ever actually heard a story about an electronic object becoming a tsukumogami?"
   – "Well, no..."
   – "I have a theory about that.  I don't think e-waste is even capable of that transition."
   – "How do you figure?"
   – "Consider the crossover of electromagnetic fields and the detection of spirits.  Electricity is a simulation of life energy, almost too spot-on.  Like forces repel... so true life energy can't coexist with it.  Because they're flowing with this imitation power, I don't think electronics get a chance to develop real souls."
   – "I see.  Then, we can't properly call this a graveyard..."
   – "...if these bodies were never truly alive."
   – "I can't decide whether that makes me feel relieved, or lonely."
Merry let out an audible sigh against their eerily silent backdrop.  Then she braced herself to deliver the next news.
   – "But, if that's so... then why can I still feel something spiritual around here?"
Renko's eyes lit up instantly.
   – "Do you?  I was hoping you'd say that!"
   – "It just started... which is odd, since we haven't covered all that much ground since getting here.  It's as if a border connecting to somewhere else just opened."
   – "That supports the second part of the theory.  Like forces repel, but opposite forces attract.  They may not have souls themselves, but these empty vessels surely attract souls."
It felt fairly certain, now that both of their minds had helped confirm it:  Some spirit, human or non-human, seemed to have decided to take up residence in the wasteland.  Merry took a moment to feel proud of herself for her invaluable contribution.
   – "By the way, where do robots fit into your theory?"
   – "Well... I mean, there's no doubt we're getting closer every day to the A.I. revolution."
   – "Oh, my.  I knew I should have tipped our e-waiter last time we went to that café."
   – "But that's a completely different phenomenon than what births a tsukumogami, right?  It has to do with the software, not the hardware."
   – "Yes.  Though, it would seem to imply that there is a border of 'false' and 'true' life that can be crossed..."
  #05  Entrusting This World to Idols ~ Idolatrize World
   – "Now all we have to do is narrow it down, and we'll --"
As if on cue, Renko's thoughts were interrupted by a loud crashing sound from behind... music to her thrill-seeking ears.  She whirled around to catch the culprit, her eyes fixating on Merry and the dark-colored object that rested a few paces away at her feet.  The blonde girl threw her hands up in a display of innocence.
   – "I didn't do it.  It moved on its own!  I just saw it fall out of nowhere."
Renko's attempt at a professional retort failed to conceal her excited, twitching grin.
   – "Merry, Merry...  This is the most basic of physics.  An object can't move on its own!  Unless..."
They approached the rectangular object and peered over it.  It seemed to be a tablet PC, roughly twenty centimeters in length.  It had landed face up, luckily enough to not have not shattered the screen, though there was a significant surface crack down its center.
   – "Hm..."
   – "We've ruled out tsukumogami.  You think it could be... a poltergeist?"
   – "I don't know.  Rather than an outside force, the energy seems very contained in here."
   – "So then... a spirit living inside?"
   – "Something like that."
In response, the light of the screen flashed briefly on and back off.
   – "Ahh!  Electricity, a simulation of life energy..."
   – "It also works the other way around!"
This was a very lucky revelation for the two investigators, as it would have been nearly impossible to find a compatible charging cable.  In an age where each and every product was developed with its own unique cord design, this feature was marketed to consumers as a collectible game; the infinite variety, a controlled channel for creativity.
The device seemed to call out to them, understanding what they wanted.  The power flashed again, on and off and on, in a quirky rhythmical pattern that almost evoked a personality.
   – "We've definitely found something worth taking home!"
   – "Wait.  Isn't it wrong to remove a spirit from the place it's attached to?  We can't just adopt a ghost like an abandoned baby."
   – "Like you said, it's attached to the item, not the place. We're just fostering it for a bit before it moves on!"
   – "All right...  Just don't raise it to be wild like you."
   – "And you, Merry, make sure you don't spoil it!"
#06  Nostalgic Blood of the East ~ Old World
The pair reached Renko's dorm with the haunted vessel tucked inconspicuously into their satchel, grateful that the spirit hadn't chosen to bind itself to a full desktop monitor or CPU instead.  The question moving forward would be how to unlock its secrets.
   – "How old do you think it is?"
   – "Because it wasn't buried under anything, it seems like we should assume it to be fairly new.  But it just feels so out of place."
   – "Actually, I meant the spirit."
   – "Oh."
Hand in hand with the phenomenon of planned obsolescence, the fashionable aesthetics of electronics changed as often as water under a bridge.  Sleek designs were popular, then retro designs, then designs that mimicked the mimicry of two eras past, a vaguely deteriorating cycle.  As a result, it was difficult to tell which era this piece of technology belonged to.
   – "Remember that I saw a border open?  Maybe not just the spirit, but the whole item came from somewhere else..."
They had been scrutinizing the home screen for quite some time, attempting to navigate the ancient interface, and hadn't made much headway.  As far as they could tell, the data was heavily corrupted, and most of its history had been erased.  They were able to access only the most basic types of apps, like the calculator and the keyboard.
   – "Hey, Merry.  I think we should use that other thing we picked up."
   – "That?  I don't even understand how we would use it..."
As evidenced by her smug grin, the more scientifically-minded of the pair had full confidence in the strange idea she was about to suggest.
#07  A Tiny, Tiny Clever Commander
   – "I mean, really?  A mouse?"
Renko had insisted that they bring home a wired peripheral mouse, which she had spent an extra half hour scavenging for.  However, of course, the end of the cable did not match the outlet on the tablet.
Currently, she was back in the scavenging position, digging through the pile of unorganized junk that cluttered her closet (mostly books and occult items). Or rather, it looked unorganized, but she seemed to know exactly where everything was.  ...Or rather, Merry concluded, it truly was unorganized, but her eyes were sharp at scanning through even a complete mess.  She wondered if this small pile would ever become as large as the one at the dump.
   – "A-ha, found it!"
Renko had managed to track down the very particular treasure she was seeking, the final piece of their forgathered puzzle.  A small cube with many variously patterned notches rested in her open palm.  The material's finishing was uncolored and plain, likely to have been produced independently with a 3D printer rather than as a commercial product.
   – "W-Where did you get a thing like that?"
   – "I have connections you don't know, Merry."
Merry thought she had heard this line before, and felt a bead of sweat roll down her neck just like the first time.  The source was certainly shady.  Universal adapters were not at all legal.  Treating it like a Rubik's cube, and glancing back and forth for reference, Renko cleverly manipulated the block in her hand in ways that Merry was unable to understand.
Renko's partner, who had long embraced being an accomplice, appreciated her resourcefulness; she only wished to be kept more up to date when the other girl's mental plans ran ten steps ahead.  But she supposed that this was how Renko felt in return when it came to supernatural sights that she couldn't see, so perhaps they were even.
   – "Just like that?  Like magic..."
   – "Tell me, Merry.  Can you see the border of magic and science?"
With all the pieces aligned, Renko ceremoniously linked the mouse to the tablet through the intermediary box.  As a pop-up window indicated the drivers being registered, it was, they determined, a truly magical feat.  The light on the screen dimmed a bit, as if the spirit were expressing slight disappointment that it was no longer their only option for a power supply.
   – "Still...  Better technology has been around for decades.  These are so unwieldly.  Does anyone use an optical mouse anymore?"
   – "No, but no one's done this ritual in a long time either."
#08  No More Going Through Doors
Renko took Merry's hands in her own and conveyed them in a stack atop of the mouse.  Holding this pose, Merry squinted at the screen in front of her, which displayed a neatly spaced virtual keyboard with a complete set of lettering.  A mild shiver ran through her, either nervousness or excitement.
   – "Hang on.  This setup looks familiar somehow."
   – "That's right.  We're having a séance!"
Although Renko was very skilled with computers, hacking was not her expertise.  She did, however, have the kind of mind that was able to think around the box, discovering back doors.  The opportunity here was simple:  If they couldn't reach the secrets, they would consult the only one who knew -- the spirit itself.
   – "Huh!?"
   – "This mouse is a perfect planchette to use as an interface.  Sure, we have voice and touch technology.  But you don't want the spirit to possess your actual body in order to touch the screen or activate your voice, do you?"
   – "Definitely not.  ...Wait, did I ever say I wanted to be the medium at all?"
Merry pulled her hands back from the mouse and saw the screen's light flicker weakly.
   – "Oh, er...  You're right.  We didn't really decide that, did we?"
   – "Mm..."
   – "I think you'd be better suited, but I'll gladly go first.  I've always wanted to try something like this."
Merry's eyes glazed over as she thought about the prospect of communicating with the spirit.  They had assumed the sealed entity was harmless enough to bring home, but could there be some risk in directly channeling it?
Then again, what was the other option?  To leave their investigation at a dead end?
You don't belong on this side of the unknown.
A faint voice bubbled up inside of Merry, almost like an intrusive thought.  This had been happening to her increasingly often lately, though she always forgot about it after the fact.  Because, at the same time, they certainly felt like her own feelings...
Maribel Hearn was sparked with a surge of curiosity that made her want to take the lead.  These were precisely the club activities she had signed up for.  How much more dangerous could it be than anything else, so long as one made sure to follow the protocols and say goodbye at the end?
   – "No...  I'd like to do it."
Renko blinked in surprise.
   – "Really?  ...Well, gee, make up your mind.  You made me get all excited for myself.  Go ahead, but I call next!"
#09  Shoutoku Legend ~ True Administrator
Having cleared the area and turned off all the lights, Merry sat with her back straight against a chair and took a deep breath.  No candle was necessary, as the warm glow of the screen cast a ring of illumination around the table.  They had thoroughly discussed the questions they desired to ask, though the words felt awkward to speak out loud.  Nevertheless, the young medium opened her mouth.
   – "What is... your name?"
...
The atmosphere of room was deathly still.  Merry let all the muscles in her arm relax, preparing.
...
I...
   – "It's working...!"
The spirit was conscious and listening.  The planchette began to glide beneath Merry's loose grip, landing on the letter I.  When it paused on the letter for several seconds, she clicked the mouse button to confirm before the involuntary movement slowly began again.
...FO RG OT.
   – "Ah.  So it's going to be up to us to give it a name."
   – "Did you own this tablet?"
While Merry was lost in thought about a potential name, Renko chimed in with a question of her own from the opposite side of the table.  However, the spirit seemed to hesitate in answering.
Suddenly, the other girl's focus returned.  On an instinct, she broke the silence with an unexpected change of the question.
   – "Does this tablet own you?"
...
YE S.
   – "Huh... The tablet owns the spirit?  How did that happen?"
Although Renko's words were more thinking out loud than a direct question, the spirit was responsive.  Merry's hand immediately began to move.
...
SN AP.
   – "Snap...?  That sounds kind of scary."
   – "What does that mean?"
The cursor then swerved dramatically past all the letters on the keypad and down to the app menu along the bottom edge of the screen.  It hovered over an icon barely recognizable as an antique camera.
   – "Ah..."
The app launched, reproducing a dark, blurry image of the table on which the device's lens was turned.  Upon clicking the screen, a photograph was taken, and the damaged speaker emitted a distorted snapping sound.
   – "Spirit photography!"
The two girls burst out in unison, solving the riddle simultaneously.
   – "Right.  We've all heard the old belief that getting a photograph taken of you might steal a piece of your soul."
   – "It has some basis.  If captured in a photograph by accident, a minor spirit's energy might become trapped."
Somewhere in the hidden files, such a photograph must exist, binding some foreign essence to this device.  The spirit was likely eager to get free.
Merry minimized the camera app and returned to the keyboard.
   – "Who took the picture?"
...
Unlike its own, this name seemed to be one the spirit knew.  The pair observed with bated breath as the cursor navigated itself around the maze of letters.  Ultimately, it came to a halt, and Merry clicked on the final letter.
   – "...Eh?  Merry, stop kidding around!"
Merry turned to her partner with a genuine, solemn expression.
   – "I'm... not.  I swear."
Renko's face went pale. In ink-black font, three familiar syllables stood on display beside a blinking cursor.
#10  Dream World Folklore
To disprove the influence of the ideomotor effect, they had asked the question several more times, using both girls as mediums, until the spirit ultimately stopped responding altogether.
   – "Oh, no.  We scared it away..."
   – "Well, it did spook us first."
   – "Renko...  You weren't kidding about your connections, were you?"
Renko scratched her head with lingering bewilderment.
   – "Is the spirit messing with us?  Or could it be..."
Her gaze wandered over to the stream of occult paraphernalia still spilling out of the crack of her closet door, and she experienced a strange sense of longing.  The adventurous scientist was heavily accustomed to investigating mysteries from an observational and objective point of view.  Finding herself personally a step closer to the subject was a bizarre and almost gut-twisting feeling.  She supposed that this was how Merry felt in return when the focus of investigations was on her own powers, so perhaps they were even.  Almost.
After a few more sessions of séance, they managed to navigate to an encrypted folder.  A full-screen photograph had flashed open... but, before they were able to make out any details, the tablet's power instantly cut off.  Following this, it no longer responded to any input.
Their assumption would be that the spirit had been able to cross over, after deleting its digital ties to the physical container and unsealing the information it was attached to.
   – "I suppose this is goodbye..."
   – "Is the spirit free now?"
   – "I think so."
   – "That's good for it, at least."
   – "Too bad for you.  If we kept it, maybe it would have served as your personal shikigami."
   – "Isn't that a bit cold-hearted?  It was supposed to be our child!"
A shikigami is the perfect phantasmal servant.  The owner may input commands, and it carries out orders with extraordinary speed and calculation.  Of course, a normal computer already fulfills essentially the same purpose.  Outside world humans of the modern era aren't in need of such a spirit under their possession.
Even so, the force of attraction that had drawn them to cross paths with this spirit would be a mystery to chase going forward.  The two present members of the Sealing Club had a new story to tell, an urban legend that could be shared only amongst themselves.
Afterwords
Hello, this is someone who absolutely promised themself that they would publish at least one Hifuu fic per calendar year.  The idea for this one began with a conversation with my real-life partner (as is usually the case of inspiration) about the excellent aesthetic of using a computer keyboard as a Ouija board.  This subject in turn came up because of a "ghost" that haunts her keyboard by making a certain cryptic message appear on the screen at random times because the "." and "0" keys are in an easy position for us to accidentally press.  So, this story is dedicated to our precious child, ".0-chan."
Then, while it was already being written, WBaWC came out and confirmed that a technology-themed fic would be totally appropriate, and my favorite song from the soundtrack had the perfect title to be used in it.  (Also, its blatant dystopian themes justified playing up the similar themes of the Sealing Club's society even more than usual.)  And yet, despite many things lining up, it almost didn't get finished in time.  It's been such a busy and stressful year, which I hope gets better next year...
Another source of inspiration was the blog "Yukarisuggestion," whose portrayal I respect a lot.  When they drop minor bits of supernatural trivia, it definitely feels like they are coming from the youkai sage herself, very natural to accept.  I latched onto these posts in particular, finding the concept fascinating, and I only hope I interpreted it acceptably.  ...I was really aiming sharply this time at the Sealing Club's conversational aesthetic of "casual confidence in super obscure things that outside listeners would hear as nonsense," so I'm afraid some parts may have crossed the border of B.S.
Also, I wonder if it's okay that the second half of the song choices are almost entirely bad puns?
ASA    (Our ghost child's pen name would be "0.4" / "Rei-ten-shi"!)
Hifuu CD-style stories:
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  自封夢幻 〜 Sentimental Reverie
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  陶然夢幻 〜 Transcendental Revelry
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  羨望横断 〜 Unenviable Crossroads
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  外来土産 〜 Adventive Reminiscence
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3] 中古技術 〜 Electric Spirit Seance
»  [Tumblr]  [AO3]  幻想惑星直列 〜 Phantasmal Syzygy
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berlysbandcamp · 4 years
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Force Majeure is an uplifting suite of real, soulful comfort music – an album that cathartically encapsulates an all-too-familiar human experience of 2020. Featuring 11 pieces performed by bassist Dezron Douglas & harpist Brandee Younger across a series of live-streamed shows from their living room in Harlem, NY, the album was self-recorded by the duo using just a single microphone. The same day Governor Andrew Cuomo shut down “non-essential” businesses throughout the state of New York, Douglas & Younger set up a window to the world that would prevail as a weekly musical reprieve over the devastating weeks and months to come. As the early effects of covid-19 plagued the citizens of New York City, Douglas & Younger did as we were all ordered to do — shelter-in-place. From their apartment in Harlem, their reflex as players and community-builders was immediate. Broadcasting via social media and spreading the word to friends and family, the duo hosted “Force Majeure: Brunch in the Crib with Brandee & Dezron,” a Friday morning live stream where they performed songs, said “hi” to friends tuning in, and passed a digital tip jar. The name “force majeure” — known to diligent contract-readers as a seldom-invoked bit of legalese that voids commitments in event of “extraordinary circumstances” — was, for Douglas & Younger, a reference to the sudden loss of livelihood that they and their musician peers suffered in the wake of covid-19. “We vowed to become a part of the resiliency of this city,” says Douglas. “You can take the work away, but you can’t stop musicians from being creative. Live streaming is just a part of it. The world as a whole saw that arts & entertainment is an integral and vital part of this ‘service’ city. We, musicians and creatives, are as essential to this city as the MTA is. The NYC community responded with love and honesty on a high level. Expression became vital for people to make it through the day and, at the same time, listening and watching expression became vital.” The success of Douglas & Younger’s initial live streams turned their series into an ongoing weekly ritual for a fast-growing audience of supporters. For most, it was a momentary musical break that helped ease the stressful weeks of lockdown, even as the weeks turned into months and the re-opening date extended further and further into the future. In late May, as the country erupted over the compounded murders of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and countless other Black Americans, Douglas & Younger continued to connect from their Friday morning platform, uniting with more and more people through the healing power of playing, sharing, and listening. The series got attention from NPR, The Wall Street Journal, Boiler Room, Downbeat, and others; but regardless, finding the creative energy to devote to the project was a regular challenge for the two musicians. “Sometimes it was hard to be creative because the mood in the world was so dark, but every Friday we felt compelled to give back and allow GOD to heal through vibration,” says Douglas. Not only was the human connection vital, the duo felt a responsibility as stewards of music’s future. “Whatever the next thing is, I will make it a point to be involved because Music saved my life, saves lives, and must be taken care of.” The repertoire that Douglas & Younger performed began with standards they knew and music they wanted to learn (or “get inside of,” as Douglas often said), but evolved on a week-to-week basis to incorporate shifting emotions, milestones, and special requests from friends and family. Younger recalls: “In choosing the repertoire we played, it was definitely more organic and personal. When we realized a birthday of a certain artist or holiday was coming, we'd do something in dedication… Sometimes we'd pick the rep based on our mood. On those very dark days that Dez mentioned, we'd play “Sing" to perk up the mood. Something about that song just brings smiles all around. It was very hard to fake when the mood was dark, though. Marvin Gaye helped us out a lot during that time, as did some spirituals.” With what became their brunch staples they covered a broad range of memories and sounds, including classics by The Stylistics, The Jackson 5, Alice & John Coltrane, Pharoah Sanders, Kate Bush, Sting, and The Carpenters, as well as a co-written original composition with which they ended every set, “Toilet Paper Romance.” From the earliest sessions, the duo worked alongside International Anthem to review the weekly recordings; together they compiled, edited, and eventually arrived at the stream-to-songbook of Force Majeure. Between the choicest takes of tunes chosen for the final album sequence, they put excerpts of their sometimes cute or comedic, often profound banter. Notably Douglas’s voice ends both side A and side B with off-the-cuff variations of: “Black Music cannot be replicated, it can only be expressed.” Like poetic bookends for Force Majeure, his words could also serve as foundational principles for the work, underscoring the importance of authenticity and integrity in music. Douglas elaborates: “Black Music, no matter what genre, is exactly what it is — Music created by Black Musicians for the sake of vibrating on our own frequencies of understanding and empathy. I love all music, but I also recognize that music is a cultural and regional vibration. You don’t have to be Black to play Black music, but if you are out here making money off of Black Culture and have no empathy for the People and the Culture then you are even more part of the problem. Black Lives Matter because for a long time our lives didn’t matter and it was Normal — normal to society and normal to us as Black humans. What’s different between then and now is the fact that the Virus has given people time to focus on the current social media platform used to document evil in this world. The filming and documentation of the loss of human life to evil is more powerful than Politics and Government. It’s LIFE showing us how Inhumane we are as a Human Race. Yet we still haven’t figured it out yet. Let’s hope we aren’t the catalyst for this planet to implode. That would be unfortunate considering we have the chance to fix it. We have the chance to do right by Mother Nature and we have the chance to do right by each other. We always have a chance. Change is inevitable, but is evil and selfishness and self-righteousness a part of change? Certainly! Is Love and Empathy and Humanity a part of change? Most definitely! What side are you on? We are on the side of Love.” Douglas & Younger understand that the revolution begins with a transformation of the heart. And for the heart to be transformed, it must be lifted up. “This album is a testament to the power of music to uplift us through the most challenging times,” says friend, collaborator, and fellow International Anthem recording artist, Makaya McCraven. Force Majeure is an uplifting suite of real, soulful comfort music – a spiritual salve, emanating warmth from the hearth of a Harlem sanctuary. - bio by Joe Darling & Scott McNiece - Bassist, composer, bandleader, and educator Dezron Douglas has established himself as a major force in contemporary creative music. A protégé of the great Jackie McLean, the Downbeat Magazine 2019 Rising Star is known for his work with Pharoah Sanders, Ravi Coltrane, Cyrus Chestnut, David Murray, Louis Hayes, and also with piano legends George Cables, Eric Reed, Mulgrew Miller and Benny Green. Douglas has recorded on more than 100 albums, contributing to the artistry of numerous bandleaders and maintaining an integral presence in the sounds of his peers, which include Keyon Harrold, Jonathan Blake, Melanie Charles, and Makaya McCraven. He is an active music educator, currently on the Jazz Studies faculty at NYU Steinhardt. He has released 6 albums as a lead artist and maintains a variety of projects that he uses as platforms for his compositions. His band, Black Lion, released their latest single “COBRA” in October of 2020. Harpist, composer, educator, and concert curator Brandee Younger is known for her work with Ravi Coltrane, Moses Sumney, Lauryn Hill and producer Salaam Remi. The New Yorker has described her instrumental craft as “radiant playing ... as cogent on hip-hop and R&B albums as it is set against classical and jazz backdrops.” Her work often extends to illustrious heights, featured by Beyoncé in Netflix’s concert documentary Beyoncé: Homecoming as well as Quincy Jones and Steve McQueen in 2019’s “Soundtrack of America” series. She recently joined the harp faculty at NYU Steinhardt and the New School in Manhattan. When Alice Coltrane passed away in 2007, her son Ravi Coltrane asked Younger to perform at the memorial. Her performance “moved me and everyone in attendance from the first glissando,” Coltrane told the New York Times. “No harpist thus far has been more capable of combining all of the modern harp traditions — from Salzedo, through Dorothy Ashby, through Alice Coltrane — with such strength, grace and commitment.” Younger recently signed to Impulse! Records, with whom she has a new album planned for release in 2021. Douglas & Younger are long-time companions in life and in music. The two East Coast natives met early in life and have accompanied each other, personally and professionally, through equally prolific careers. “Brandee and I met in college, University of Hartford, Hartt School of Music, back in 2001,” remembers Douglas. “Her practice room was across the hall from mine. We began a friendship instantly through music and Black culture. We would jam a lot in college when she wanted to practice ‘Jazz.’ She was a Classical Harp and Music Business double major and she was heavily influenced by Jazz and Black Music so I sort of became an outlet for her to walk on the wild side in the eyes of University and Classical politics.” To this day, Douglas and Younger often accompany each other in the ensembles they lead, respectively. The two have played together in the Ravi Coltrane Quartet, with The Baylor Project, and in sessions for Makaya McCraven’s 2018 release Universal Beings, on which they are both featured artists. Force Majeure is their first release as a duo.
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moonbeambucky · 5 years
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Helpless
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 5298 Warnings: fluff
Summary: Bucky doesn’t realize that the more he tries to be helpful the more he makes his girl feel helpless.
A/N: This is my submission for @kentuckybarnes Hannah’s 3k Writing Challenge. My prompt was Character A is told to stay in the car while Character B confronts a villain. Things go downhill. Character A drives the car into the villain. But didn’t leave the car. Thank you as always to my Sam 💕@buckyofthemyscira for beta reading! gif not mine
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The story of Bucky Barnes is filled with immense sadness weaving its ways throughout the pages of his life. From Howling Commando to Hydra assassin, his mind was scrubbed clean of what made him; his memories, his morals. Bucky was forced to commit unspeakable acts, ones that keep him up at night trembling with guilt. He was given a new life while being robbed of his old one but now that he’s finally free of the tentacled grasp Hydra held him in, Bucky is working on becoming himself again, and for all the harm he’s done to the world he wants to give back and help.
The desire to help others took root within him at a young age. He learned from his father George, who was always quick to assist the neighbors on their friendly Brooklyn block, and Bucky experienced firsthand how good it felt to help others.
When Mrs. Davis from down the block couldn’t leave the house much anymore Bucky took it upon himself to fetch her groceries or mow the lawn. He never asked for anything in return for his service but she insisted, paying him a little something so he could treat himself to an ice cream. Instead, Bucky used the money to make sure the alley cats had a fresh dish of milk and cans of tuna each day. If helping was the lottery then Bucky hit the jackpot when he befriended Steve Rogers.
Steve became more like a brother and Bucky had his hands full looking after him. You see, Steve was just like Bucky when it came to helping others except the little punk didn’t know his limits. He picked his battles, every single one, no matter who was on the other end. Bucky would have to step in every time and throw a punch or take one; better him than Steve who would crumble at the slightest breeze.
Bucky couldn’t fight all of Steve’s battles though, but he was always there to help Steve get well from his latest bout with any and every germ that came his way. His poor friend was a scrawny thing, with an immune system more fragile than a butterfly’s wings. Bucky ran all over Brooklyn to pick up Steve’s prescriptions and even learned to make his mother’s homemade chicken soup recipe, anticipating he might be spending the rest of his life making it for Steve.
Helping was always in Bucky’s nature but when the war broke out he questioned his morals. Part of him wanted to sign up, his country needed help and he was ready to fight, but with his father no longer around it didn’t feel right to leave his ma and sisters. In the end Bucky decided to stick around, continue to help his family and Steve until he was drafted.
The fate of the world was safe, for today at least, and while Bucky had helped secure it from the threat of other worldly invaders once more he wanted to use his free time to help on a smaller level.
This is how he found himself at a local Habitat for Humanity worksite near the compound. There were a few dozen people crowding around the open space, with bright smiles and excited chatter filling the air until a skeletal man with a bullhorn calls everyone’s attention. Bucky keeps his distance in the back. Just because he wanted to help doesn’t mean he’s fully ready to integrate himself into society again.
Bucky prefers anonymity and after years of covert operations and life on the run he wears his best disguise to hide in plain sight, a baseball cap that casts a shadow over his features. His long dark hair is tied in a low bun at the base of neck and recognizable metal hand is covered by a construction glove.
He isn’t fully anonymous though, a sticker on his chest states his name but going by James provides him enough distance from his true identity. Bucky doesn’t want any publicity, even if it would counteract the daily editorials that criticize his morals. It’s another struggle he carries, learning to ignore the faceless voices that speak out against him. He’ll never please everyone but by helping, no matter what the cause, he knows he’s doing something good.
Bucky’s squinting from the sunlight, already strong despite the early morning. He pulls his cap lower to block the shine from his eyes while listening to the man with the bullhorn enthusiastically pump up the crowd. He introduces himself as Scully, a nickname Bucky supposes as his sticker says Ed. Could be a last name too though. Sometimes Bucky doesn’t mind being called Barnes. It reminds him of his time in the army, where he was fighting with one goal in mind, to help.
He shrugs off his memories, not wanting to think about what happened after the army. He regrets wearing a sweatshirt today as he’s already growing warm but unfortunately it’s the best way to hide that arm of his.
The group breaks with a round of applause and cheers as it’s time to commence work. The foundation for the house was already laid for them so everyone begins working on the assembling the framing. Bucky quickly swaps his baseball cap for a hard hat and walks to the truck with a few others ready to unload the lumber.
A burly man walks up the steel ramp on the back of the truck. His boots clank on the metal that shakes to support his large frame as he unlatches the door, allowing the foresty scent of fresh cut spruce to penetrate the crisp morning air.
Groups of two travel in and out of the truck carrying long beams and planks. Bucky grabs more than double, giving a simple nod to the burly man Frank, a silent nod that he’s more than capable of handling that amount on his own. Bucky could actually carry more, a lot more, but his one man show is already drawing enough attention, he decides he doesn’t need any more.
He follows the direction of another man who’s shorter than Frank but just as round, with a thick salt and pepper beard. Bucky drops off the planks at different workstations where others are reviewing the specs for measurements.
The air filled with a mix of sound as people begin to work; the dull thudding of nails being hammered down, power tools buzzing away. It brings him back to childhood when he and Steve took the train into Manhattan to watch as construction crews began erecting the Chrysler Building. The idea of having the tallest building in the world in their backyard fascinated the young boys who never imagined the sites they would grow to see.
He’s pulled from his memory by the shrill buzzing of an electric saw. It pierces his ear oddly as Bucky can hear the faintest wobble coming from a blade. He shuts his eyes to concentrate, waiting for the sound again until he’s certain of where it’s coming from.
A woman is focused on her work, gripping the handle of the miter saw and guiding it down to slice through the wood on the table. Bucky’s lips twitch to a smile as he watches her using the machine without hesitation.
The wobbly sound has increased in the span of the few seconds he spent ogling her and before the woman begins again Bucky calls out to stop her.
“There’s somethin’ wrong with the blade,” he declared after he caught her attention, walking closer towards her.
Between the glare of the sun and the protective goggles covering her eyes Bucky can’t read her expression. He worries she might be insulted, if in some way she interprets his concern as a question on her capability.
Bucky panicked, “I-It’s not you, I promise.” He flashed a nervous smile. “I… it’s just that I heard it in the blade, it sounded…”
“...Off,” she finished his sentence. “You’re right, I even felt it in that last cut.”
She removed her safety goggles and used her forearm to dab at the beads of sweat that collected on her forehead. Chewing on her bottom lip she stared bewilderedly at the faulty machine.
Bucky was staring as well, entranced by the woman before him. Now that he had a clearer look at her features his heart began doing flips in his chest. Her eyes were beautiful, sparkling and full of life.
The hard hat and baggy t-shirt added to her true beauty, the goodness of her soul that was eager to get back to work, to helping just as he wanted to. She scanned the machine for an obvious cause of the problem, wondering out loud what it could be.
Bucky found the nerve to speak up. “The bolt on the blade probably came loose. I can help if you want...” He smiled timidly as his eyes traveled to the name tag on her shirt, “…Y/N.”
The moment her name fell from his lips Bucky felt as if he was always meant to say it. Like pollen floating in the air her name was carried to his heart making it bloom with attraction.
She accepted his help with an enthusiastic smile spread widely across her face and Bucky was blinded once more but not by the sun. The light that radiated from Y/N’s gorgeous face was stronger and more beautiful than any star in the galaxy.
With a spring in his step he went to find some tools to help, anxious to get back to Y/N. By the time he returned she unplugged the machine and put her palm out, waiting for him to hand over the tools. Bucky was surprised, not expecting she only needed his help to fetch the tools.
“I’m not helpless you know,” Y/N playfully teased, smirking as she pulled back the blade guard and began to lock the saw into place.
Bucky smiled watching her work, unable to contain his smile and the bubbling feelings within of the woman who was as capable as she was beautiful.
Y/N let out a frustrated groan as she tried to remove the bolt that secured the blade. She twisted the wrench but it wouldn’t budge. Bucky was certainly strong enough to force the movement but he didn’t want to intrude, not unless she asked.
He didn’t have time to wait for Y/N’s permission as she used all her might to twist the wrench, forcing the bolt to fly off. The shaky movement caused the askew blade to come off its mount and nearly onto Y/N’s hands if Bucky hadn’t lurched forward and stopped it. The blade sat in the palm of his gloved hand, the metal underneath unharmed by the sharp object.
“Are you alright?” he asked as a visibly shaken Y/N took deep breaths.
“Yeah, ‘m good. I shouldn’t have forced it,” she huffed in disbelief, thinking about what could have happened.
Bucky placed the blade back and tightened the bolt properly, ensuring it wouldn’t wobble anymore. “It should be good now.” Bucky offered a proud smile, knowing he was able to help her.
Y/N returned the smile as she replaced the other screws so she could begin working again. “Thanks Bucky.”
The curve of his lips dropped down with confusion His name tag said James. He is supposed to be James. Incognito. He had a foolproof baseball cap. His eyes stirred with panic but the sound of her voice stilled his mind.
“Were you hiding or something?” Her tone was playful and the smile she gave him helped settle his nerves even more. Bucky was wrong to think he could go unnoticed, then again she was the only one to speak up.
“In a way,” he responded, “I wanna help, don’t want no fanfare about it.”
Y/N knew what the press reported on James “Bucky” Barnes but in all the articles she’s read none of them ever detailed the softness in his eyes. Seventy years of torture were held back behind a delicate wall of swirling blue emotion and yet he’s standing in front of her, stronger than she could ever imagine had she faced what he had gone through.
“Your secret is safe with me,” she winked.
A giggle fell past her lips and Bucky felt his knees buckle at the sound. From the moment it left her lips and floated to his ears the decision cemented itself within his heart, he would do anything to hear her laughter again.
Bucky continued the heavy lifting all day but the greatest strength he displayed was when he asked Y/N out for coffee and surprisingly she said yes.
They met up on Saturday afternoon after spending a few days together at the worksite. Y/N groaned as her stiff muscles carried her to the front of the coffee shop. Bucky stood outside looking incredibly handsome in a light denim jacket with a blue shirt that was sure to bring out the color of his eyes. His hair was loose with rich brown strands falling into his face as he pulled his phone out from his pocket and checked it.  
She stopped to watch him, with a smile growing on her face at how nervous Bucky looked. She felt the same way, with the butterflies in her stomach adding to the aches and pains of her sore body.
Y/N was just as surprised when Bucky asked her to meet. She never imagined the day she would run into an actual Avenger let alone exchange numbers with them. With a deep breath she began walking towards him, trying to contain her nerves.
Bucky’s eyes lit up when he saw her. She strolled towards him in an oversized sweater and leggings that clung to her frame. Her hair was freed from the hard hat he was accustomed to seeing her in. He already thought she was beautiful in the sawdust covered clothes she wore and now his heart began to race at the sight of her.
Neither knew what greeting was appropriate as they said hello which led to an awkward should they, should they not kiss on the cheek or hug. She giggled again and Bucky sighed with content.
As Bucky held the door open for Y/N he heard a faint groan as she stepped up into the shop and proceeded to ask if she was alright.
She smiled at his question, “Yes, thank you. Just a little achy.”
Bucky smiled remembering the work she put in at the site, never shying away from any project. Y/N even tried to help lift the support beam that outweighed her many times over. Her disappointed pout was adorable, even if realistically it was a job meant for a crew made up of the strongest people. Bucky winked at her bringing the smile back to her face as they shared an unspoken truth, Bucky could have easily lifted the beam alone.
Hard labor was nothing for Bucky, in fact, he much preferred it over Steve’s intense training drills. He didn’t technically have a problem with those either but he’d rather go back into cyro than hear Sam’s whining every day.
Y/N would have more of a reason to whine over Sam who should be used to physical demands that come with being an Avenger by now, but even she isn’t. He can read the pain on her face, the tight smile and stiff inhales as she reads over the menu. After all the hard work she did she deserves to rest.
Bucky pulled out a chair for her from the nearest table. “Why don’t you take a seat and I’ll grab our orders,” he offered, feeling happy to help her.
They sat for hours getting to know each other, sharing a variety of sweet pastries. Bucky walked Y/N home and when it was time to say goodbye, something neither were keen on, they once again found themselves unsure of what they should do.
The caffeine searing through their veins combined with the growing affection they felt made both Bucky and Y/N extremely nervous. He was a blushing mess and she chewed on her lip, admiring his features by the golden glow of the setting sun.
Y/N took initiative, leaning forward with the intention of kissing him on the cheek. Bucky acted as well, excitedly lifting his arms up so he could wrap them around her for a hug. Unfortunately they did this at the same time and Bucky’s metal hand accidentally smacked Y/N’s cheek.
His heart stopped in that moment as Y/N held her hand firmly to her cheek. Bucky wanted to run away, to mutter an apology before he goes back into hiding, never to leave again. Negative thoughts swirl around his mind like a tornado making him question why he thought he would ever be good enough for her, telling him the world doesn’t want his help, that he only brings destruction and pain with every step he takes.
Suddenly the thoughts stop, swept away by the most beautiful sound in the world, Y/N’s giggles.
“Ouch,” she chuckled, rubbing the sting from her cheek while smiling at him.
The tension in Bucky’s shoulders released, allowing him to exhale. Still he apologized profusely but Y/N’s finger on his lips told him to stop.
“I know how you can make it up to me,” she purred, flashing a coy smile as her eyes traveled to his lips and back up again.
The lust in her eyes was evident and for once Bucky’s head and his heart were on the same page. He leaned in slowly as his tongue swept across his lips to wet them. The gap between them closed and Y/N felt his breath fanning against her skin.
Her nerves tingled with anticipation and the moment their lips met it felt like each one had turned into a firework, exploding with happiness. Y/N pulled apart first when she needed air though Bucky would have gladly given her every breath his lungs have yet to take.
“That’s better,” she sighed a heaving breath as she rested her forehead against his.
Bucky licked his lips again, tasting the sweetness of dessert lingering on her tongue though he was certain she tasted sweeter. His eyes crinkled as a smile stretched across his face and he whispered to her, “Happy to help.”
That day was the beginning of their relationship and Bucky couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He never imagined he would be romancing someone again and now that Y/N was with him he went above and beyond to make sure she knew just how much he loved and appreciated her.
Bucky would always be sure to hold doors open for Y/N, or pull out the chair for her to sit. Sometimes he would even help her assist her with putting on or taking off her coat; he couldn’t help it, hearing the voice of his father in his head, lessons he was taught from a young age about proper etiquette with women.
Y/N never had anyone treat her as kindly as Bucky did, always going out of his way to ensure she was properly taken care of. Sure, some of his sweet gestures may have been a little old fashioned but she understood Bucky was brought up in a different time. Besides, it was better than being treated poorly so for a while she let him woo her the way he thought was best.
After a few months of dating Bucky’s kindness started to become a little cumbersome. He would go out of his way to “help” Y/N even though she didn’t need it, like all the times he stopped her from putting on a necklace, insisting that he had to be the one to fasten the clasp even though she was more than capable of doing it herself. Or the many times when she would be washing the dishes and Bucky nearly pushed her out of the way so he could be the one to do them claiming he didn’t want her hands to prune.
Each time Bucky took over doing something for Y/N her frustration grew but she bit her tongue. She knew how fragile Bucky’s self-esteem was and she really didn’t want to hurt him. Bucky felt so good about himself when he did things for her, it was written all over his face so she stayed quiet and let it fester, ignoring the problem like a rumbling volcano.
It was a rough day. The moment Y/N got to work there were problems starting with the first phone all. A client spent twenty minutes screaming at her and while she tried several times to get a word in he wouldn’t let her. Instead she had to wait for his rant to finish before she could give him a simple solution that would have lowered both their blood pressure within a few minutes.
She was on edge from the call and because of that she knocked over her mug of coffee, spilling all of important documents, some of which now required new signatures from other clients who weren’t happy about having to come in again. By the end of the day Y/N was near tears when her boss called her in to talk, reprimanding her for indiscretions during the day.
Bucky was in her apartment waiting for Y/N to come home from work. He couldn’t wait to spend the night with her cuddling together and watching movies knowing in the morning he would be leaving for a mission, the first one he’s been on since they started dating.
The door burst open and Y/N stomped harshly on the wood floors, kicking one heel off wildly and groaning in frustration as she had to bend down and pull the other one off, throwing it hastily against the wall.
Bucky heard the commotion from the other room and when he walked to the living room he saw Y/N kneeling on the floor crying. The shoe had dented the wall, breaking the plaster. Bucky knelt down beside her and Y/N threw herself into his chest, crying even harder when she felt his arms wrap around her frame.
“It’s okay…” he whispered in her ear, placing a kiss to her crown. “Don’t worry about the wall. I’ll fix it.”
His words dried her tears but not because of his offer to help. The broken wall symbolized more than what it actually was. This minor inconvenience was the breaking of the own wall she had built up behind months of anger and resentment towards Bucky.
With a shaky breath Y/N pushed herself away from Bucky and stood up. She gripped the edge of the table to hold onto something as she unleashed everything that was buried inside of her.
“I don’t want your help! I’m so tired of it, Bucky! It’s not about the wall, I can fix it my damn self!” she screamed.
Bucky stood up slowly, with confusion twisting at his features.
“You make me feel helpless! You never allow me to do anything. I can do dishes, I can carry bags. I can put my own damn coat on!”
Bucky opened his mouth but he couldn’t form any words. He was hurt. Everything he did for Y/N was from the heart, he didn’t realize how she felt about it. Maybe he was wrong about everything, that he was never ready for a relationship, that Y/N never loved him.
As Bucky stood silent Y/N saw the pain swirling in his eyes and realizing everything she said in her outburst made her feel worse.
She broke down again, “I’m so sorry Bucky. I love you, I mean it, I love you from the bottom of my heart. This is all my fault. I should have said something earlier. I never m-meant…” she whimpered, wiping the tears from her cheeks and sniffling.
“No,” he said softly, “I’m sorry. It’s been so long since…” Bucky trails off but they both know what he meant. “You mean the world to me doll, I thought if I could make anything easier on ya I would do it.”
“I don’t mind the help I just wish you would ask me sometimes,” she smiled sadly.
Y/N outstretched her hand towards Bucky and let out a breath of relief when he took it. She brought him closer and pressed herself against him again, relaxing as he embraced her fully.
They spent that evening together just as Bucky originally planned but now with a better understanding of each other’s emotions.
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Every day for the month Bucky was gone Y/N was worried sick so the moment her phone lit up with a message announcing his arrival she screamed with joy. He arrived at her door a few hours later, holding a bouquet of beautiful flowers she did not care one bit about. Y/N jumped into his arms kissing him senseless. She could take care of herself in many ways but when it came to Bucky Barnes in her heart she knew she was certainly helpless.
They spent the weekend together hardly ever leaving her bed. Bucky opened up as much as he could to her about the mission which was a bust. They either had bad intel or their target knew they were coming and he disappeared. It was frustrating but Y/N’s soft lips against his skin made him quickly forget his worries.
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For their one year anniversary Bucky planned a special night out to celebrate with Y/N. They both dressed nicely for the not too fancy but still classy enough restaurant they had reservations for. Bucky picked her up in a vintage car thanks to Tony and they enjoyed an intimate dinner.
Bucky pulled out a small gift from his suit pocket and handed it to Y/N across the table. The candlelight illuminated her beautiful smile as she carefully unwrapped the gift to reveal a jewelry box. Inside was a necklace with a small silver pendant in the shape of a house with a heart cut out in the center.
“Because we met that day building a house together and ever since you’ve held my heart and become my home.”
“It’s beautiful Bucky,” she beamed. “Will you put it on me?”
Her head tilts to the side as she smiles softly towards him and Bucky happily obliged. When the necklace was secured he couldn’t help but press his lips at the junction of her neck and shoulder making Y/N squirm and giggle. It was definitely time to leave the restaurant and neither could wait to get home.
On the drive home Bucky turned to face Y/N but instead his attention was on the car beside him and the driver that looked suspiciously like the target from their failed mission a few months back. He tried not to be seen by the man he believed to be Andrei Rudaski telling Y/N to stay low as he carefully followed the car.
While stopped at a light Bucky confirmed the target thanks to a signifying tattoo on his neck. He followed him for a few more blocks as he debated on calling the team. Bucky could probably take this guy down without making a scene but he didn’t want to endanger Y/N.
Andrei pulled over beside a warehouse on a quiet street that was mostly dark except for a few scattered street lamps. Bucky parked across the street, wishing he didn’t have a car that could blend better with the other empty cars along the road.
As Andrei opened the door to get out Bucky handed Y/N his phone. “Call Steve, tell him where we are and tell ‘im Andrei Rudaski is here.”
“What about you?” she worried.
“I’ll be alright doll. Just call Steve and stay in the car.”
With a quick kiss to her forehead Bucky took off. She chewed her bottom lip nervously as she watched his frame disappear in the alleyway by the warehouse though his shadow was visible on the wall for a bit longer thanks to security lighting mounted on the building.
For a while there was nothing but the sound of the occasional car pass by until an unmistakable gunshot rang out. Shadows on the wall began to dance in tussle and Y/N heard voices growing louder. She clutched her necklace when she thought she heard Bucky, more specifically the sound of him groaning in pain. Bucky was her home too and she couldn’t sit by and let him be injured or worse.
Sliding into the driver’s seat Y/N turned the key and hoped Bucky’s attacker was too preoccupied to hear the sound of the purring engine come to life. With her seatbelt fastened she grabbed the wheel and beelined right towards the alley.
Y/N spotted Bucky on the ground with a man standing above him, aiming a gun. With her foot slammed against the pedal she sped straight down with Andrei in her path.
It was surreal to feel everything happen at once and yet in Y/N’s mind each event seemed to play out in slow motion. She remembered the surprised look on Andrei’s face, the bright headlines that turned the darkness of his blue eyes into pinpoints that stared her down. He tried to aim his gun at her but she hit him first, the sound of the metal frame crashing against flesh and bone will be seared into his memory forever.
Glass shattered from the windshield in front of her to the high pitched breakage of the warehouse window. He had shot his gun after all. An airbag deployed unexpectedly and if she had been given a chance to think about it she would have known Tony Stark upgrades all of his toys.
The advanced airbag leaves little injury, the only thing sore is her chest, tender where the seatbelt held her upon the impact. She’s shaking, and doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry, but when the door opens beside her and she sees Bucky she does both.
“What the hell was that?” He reprimands her and rightfully so. Getting hurt is the last thing Bucky wanted to happen to Y/N. “I told you to stay in the car!”
“That was me saving your ass,” she groaned slightly, “And as you can see I am in the car!”
Her statement was followed by a chuckle, as if the car wasn’t crunched up against a wall, with a bloodied person in between it.
Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, sucking in a painful breath thanks to the throbbing gunshot that pierced his side. “I thought I told you to call Steve.”
“I did call him,” she insisted, struggling to unlatch her seatbelt. “But I couldn’t sit by and let something happen to you.”
Bucky heard the worry in her tone, and truthfully Andrei had somehow gotten the upper hand. He doesn’t want to think about what would have happened if it wasn’t for Y/N.
With Bucky’s assistance she got out of the car and carefully they hugged.
“I’m sorry our anniversary was ruined. I wanted– ” Bucky began to say before a voice interrupted him.
“Can you tell me what else is ruined?” Tony sarcastically asked, as red and gold arms crossed over the lighted triangle on his chest.
Bucky smiled at Y/N before answering. “This shirt for one,” he joked clutching his bleeding side.
Y/N frowned as Bucky hissed in pain. Apologizing for the car as she passed Tony, Y/N helped Bucky towards the quinjet that was blocking the street and Bucky grabbed a medical kit which he held out towards Y/N. “Wouldja mind?”
He took off his shirt and laid on his side so she could clean and bandage his wound, but not before he had the small chance to send her a wink.
“Looks like I’m the helpless one now, doll.” he joked.
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A/N: Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated :)
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katieusualthings · 4 years
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The reason why Kimetsu no Yaiba (KnY) is so well received by the Japanese (as such a remarkable phenomenon)
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Written by Vũ trụ 一19��
Translated by Meownie
Proofread by Alice
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Everyone knows that just in a short time, KnY has almost occupied the spotlight in all fields, everyone talks about it, the number of sale in goods and comics is enormous, both of them are sold out, etc.
Following my own curiosity with this phenomenon, as well as my existent love for the original work of Kimetsu no Yaiba (the manga), I dug into this issue because, in Japan, every trend has its own root.
Taking aside all the numbers of sale or whatever, which have been analyzed by a lot of people, as I’m not a data person, I will look into the content, the storyline and the core of this phenomenon in reference to many sources and comments about KnY coming from people in this country.
Many of you say that KnY is only at an average level compared to the manga/anime general standard. Then let me tell you what the extraordinariness that an ordinary series can do.
Apparently, there are always conflicting opinions, the Japanese community is no exception. However, the pro-KnY still grows bigger and there is no sign of softening. And here are some positive comments for the success of this series.
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1. The anime is excellent in graphics, sound effects, the plot details are neatly arranged, easy to understand and heart touching
Cannot ignore the fact that the anime has built up the KnY’s success. Ufotable made the anime so excellent, especially in terms of visual and sound. It makes the story more approachable and the audience more empathetic to it.
The anime is a contribution to KnY’s greatest success. But many seem to be mistaken that only thanks to the anime did KnY succeed like that?
If the anime succeeds, viewers will be more interested and curious about the main storyline, so they will try to read the original manga. But if the manga was a trashy series, they could stop buying/reading it and just wait for the anime, right? So what is the reason behind the boom in the KnY manga sales until the beginning of this year, and its rankings which are always in the top 3 of WSJ magazine?
Sometimes ago, I did a research and presentation about the anime/manga industry along with the cultural reforms that contributed to the revival of the Japanese economy after the war. In that research, there was a detailed analysis of the connection between the original manga and the anime adaptation as a yin-yang relationship. They are all for the sake of the original publisher and the animation studio, so one will complement the other.
Manga is a product which only attracts a certain group of people, it is not so popular since there are homemakers, young children, the elderly, and people who are not fond of reading, those who do not find manga interesting. But anime is more universal and extensive, as you know, Japanese families often buy a TV to watch the news or to entertain on weekends. The anime is only about hearing and watching, so anyone can access it. When a manga is adapted to an anime, it brings the original closer to the people, and furthermore, hopefully, make it to the big screen.
On the other hand, the original manga is the base, the soul of the work, so readers feel more excited when waiting for each chapter be published in the magazine, waiting for the changes to be re-compiled each time for a new volume. So the manga contributes to increasing a large number of consumers. Of course, buying DVD-BD is definitely more expensive than buying the volume.
As a result, success is mutual support between manga and anime. And making an anime warmly-received is not that easy, the good base of the manga should be credited and vice versa.
I will talk more about the content of the original in the second reason. But initially, it is necessary to distinguish: not all good originals are well-received and vice versa. Everything’s got its relative value, in which context and timing play a role.
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2. The charisma of the protagonist, Tanjirou, a young boy trying to save his sister; With a warm-hearted characteristic, his story is not about “revenge” but “restoration”
11 over 10 people being asked, answered that KnY’s success comes from the main character. This is yet another compliment to the editor who directed the way for KnY, Katayama-san, for orienting to make a more gentle, kind Tanjirou, eliminating the brute in the original portray.
Firstly, it is appropriate in this day and age to have a main character who is kind and gentle, which replaces for the old MC portray, who was noisy, hot-tempered and “brainless”. Secondly, it suits the plot that Croc-sensei wants to shape, a story about a boy finding a way to help his sister to be human back, about family love and values. A character who is kind-hearted, with a loving and protective care towards his sister, is more suitable for the readers. On the other hand, the story which does not turn to revenge, but to the path of helping the younger sister to be back to normal and the main character with his sympathy for the tragic fate of the demons makes the readers/audience impressed and pleased and feel like they’re saved and soothed as well.
Tanjirou takes the crown not only because of his kindness but also the determination and strong will, as he does not forgive the crimes committed by the demons. Yes, he is surely sympathetic to them but they all have to pay for their guilt. Therefore, our main character is always consistent from the beginning to the latest chapter and that personality has never wavered.
Not to mention, there is an indispensable point in the MC of WSJ, that they all constantly try their best and do not deny what they are given.
Tanjirou carries all of those points of a MC of WSJ but still reaches many different types of audiences. Lots of mothers want their children to watch KnY so they can show more love towards their families and younger sisters like Tanjirou does.
That is the greatest success of the series. And that’s the reason why the media team take the slogan “Japan’s softest slaying demon story” to PR KnY successfully everywhere.
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3. The next detail making the manga a big hit is the consistency in story theme, which is “family”
As everyone knows, the shounen mangas in general and ones in the WSJ, in particular, all discuss the solidarity. But there is a theme in KnY which reaches the audience more easily and widely: “family”. This is the affection that almost everyone can receive and understand.
The modern social situation of Japan, an Asian country, where even though family love is appreciated, the family warmth have gradually disappeared. Children who reach the age of independence and are out of a parent’s guardianship are able to easily leave the country, live independently and rarely return to visit their family. Here in Japan, the proportion of the elderly, late marriage and single people is increasing sharply. The rate of living alone now in Japan is very high and alarming. So a series about love for parents and siblings in the family is like warmth for this cold society.
From an old man’s POV who are living here: “I feel wholesome and nostalgic of the days I spent with my family, feel warm when watching KnY, and how Kamado siblings protect each other.”
The elderly do not pay attention to whatever trend is, they just watch TV basically to enjoy good work and support it.
The family theme is easy to empathize and to be delivered, so even the kids can watch and enjoy it with their mom. There are some POVs from some mothers, telling that their little kids love KnY and hoping they love their family just like the characters in the story do.
Although the context in the story is dark, the path of the story, the way expressing the theme of Croc-sensei is easy to understand, which brings in the light in the darkness and makes the number of readers become more diverse, makes the work more popular and universal.
Tbh, KnY is still very “bright” compared to many series in Japan, so a lot of children can approach this manga. Moreover, there are many cute characters and details in the story.
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4. The gap between characters makes a unique way in Gotouge-sensei’s character creation
The Japanese love the interesting dynamic, and they define it as “the gap”. The more surprising gap a character has, the more popular that character is. Briefly, it is, “not judging the book by its cover”.
The first example is the character has the same or sometimes, more popularity over the MC in Japan, Zenitsu. They don’t usually like noisy guys, but because Zenitsu is a cool character and has an interesting gap, which attracts readers. Apart from his noisy, cheerful behaviour,  he is a serious, thoughtful and experienced person who accepts pain and loss just like an adult.
Then there are countless characters with interesting gaps like Inosuke, Giyuu, and the Pillars. Crocs-sensei’s characters are not many, compared to a shounen series. But this is the mangaka’s intelligence to choose the strengths outshining the weakness. Although sensei does not create many characters, sensei has built the base for the character very well, for the impressive appearance of each one and makes the readers/audiences remember them deeply.
The proof of this success is that KnY goods are sold out with every character, from the most to least favourite.
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5. The story is clearly set in the Taisho era, coming with its proportional design and architecture that makes the reader accessible
Taisho era is neither old nor new. The people witnessing the change in that era are still alive. But Taisho was the period of transition with the insecurities in the society. So the creation of a fantasy battle with the chaos between demons and people is extremely suitable for the Taisho era.
There are billions of reasons, like the previous parts, here would mention only main points. KnY is simply a normal series, but it is the ORDINARINESS that pulls out the EXTRAORDINARINESS and delivers those CLOSER to the readers. And this “extraordinariness” is not something that a so-normal series can do.
I love the welcoming spirit of the Japanese, they always appreciate new things, yet never forget to maintain and preserve the old ones.
Because it is a constant rule in development.
The same thing applies for the WSJ: increasing sales for the currently published series, at the same time discovering and boosting new titles. And the latter is more important than the former. But they still welcome new series that inherit such values in shounen genre, the magazine would develop the series open-heartedly if it is deserved.
I am also a fan of shounen and WSJ, I think KnY totally deserves the success it has achieved now.
I also hope it is kindly well-received because Kimetsu no Yaiba was made not to be a replacement, not to take any seats from any series. It is simply a shounen legacy in WSJ magazine. You would know that the spirit in shounen manga highly values this “inheritance” characteristic.
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heroinkspots · 4 years
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Catharsis; Aizawa / Reader
SUMMARY ( You knew the man you loved could die. You were certain you had accepted it, had moved on from the constant anxiety that makes heroes insomniacs. But when you visit Aizawa in the hospital post-USJ Incident, you’re smacked with the reality there are some losses you can’t help but dread, yet zero you can prevent. )
One finger down.
Breathe.
Two fingers.
Breaking News: Erasure Hero Gets Critically Injured in USJ Aftermath, Current Condition Unknown!
Up next on Channel 86: at five o'clock, Dr. Oishi Hotaka and Dr. Yasuda Kurou broadcast live to discuss the recent developments about the USJ Incident and the repercussions for hero society going forward.
Three.
"I respect your opinion on this matter, Kurou-san, but I personally don't believe Japan can continue with the current status quo! UA's safety standards have declined dramatically in the past few decades, and their negligence will go on for as long as the public and the parents of these students allow it- which, I dare say, won't be long at all. Not long at all, my friend. We'll soon see that what we're giving these children, in UA and across the country in similar hero academies, is a subpar education, with more risks than benefits..and the most horrifying of these risks now includes the potential of their life being stolen from them at fifteen, sixteen years old."
”Well, that signals the end of our slot for tonight, viewers! Join us here next week for a live conference meeting of—"
F..four.
That announcer was right. He was scarily right. Civilians could turn off their television should they be the smallest bit uncomfortable while they were watching their heroes sacrifice their sanity, their every selfish human desire and sometimes even their lives to protect the masses that watcher belonged to.
To them, Shota was a headline. He was a vague concept, a will 'o wisp leading them home to a sense of safety, but he couldn't be felt with the hands nor seen with the eyes nor experienced with the heart. He was so underground you doubted they could recall his name without having it spoonfed to them by another copycat, know-it-all Dr. Oishi Hotaka reading off a script designed to spark outrage instead of reasonable thought. Introspection didn't sell well. Introspection didn't toss TV show hosts intriguing material to cover and it didn't grant jobs to reporters.
The truth was a bitter pill nobody liked to swallow. And if citizens didn't like the truth, they'd switch to a different channel to hear white noise that tasted good; and the Hotakas couldn't afford that, could they?
Five fingers you'd used up.
He had broken thirteen separate bones–nearly a third of the fingers you'd used so far for this stupid counting exercise. You had heard a summary of the damage from his doctors prior to standing where you stood now, and you had memorized it like a prayer of thanksgiving.
Shota couldn't be hurt if he was dead. Only a living man had the privilege of suffering pain. And dead..dead was your worst nightmare. The imaginary picture of his cold corpse made crippling injury seem like a reverie of inconceivable fortune in comparison.
Six.
Crushed orbital floor, fractured clavicle, nasal fracture, parietal bone oblique fractures, severe left elbow fractures (segmental break in his humerus bone, fractures half as destructive in his radius and ulna), one direct skull fracture—
Thirteen bones, thirteen of your fucking failures.
Seven.
You knew not to overreact. That was why you and Shota had gotten along brilliantly to begin with. You weren't a clingy partner who longed to ensure he was safe to your exacting requirements, but a fellow hero in his stead, laser-focused on furthering your ambitious climb to the top and holding down your position within the twenties once you had garnered your status. You respected him and how obviously reserved he could be, embracing his trepidation about placing himself in the spotlight as a virtue instead of a flaw..and for that, mutual respect bloomed into love in your second year of UA.
You and him had persevered because you were identically persevering personalities. You solved your arguments fairly and calmly, you conceded to his wishes and him to yours, crafting compromises and tempering spots of flickering flame before they could graze gasoline. You took pride in the fact that you knew the consequence of your professions, and you were willing to take his loss with his love.
Your logic couldn't have prepared you for USJ.
Shota Aizawa, that quiet, seemingly stern and uncaring, infuriating, loyal and self-sacrificing son of a bitch hadn't just gone out and danced with Death; he'd preformed a suspiciously intimate tango with her, gotten her number, invited her out for drinks and kissed her on the mouth when their date concluded.
And there was little logic to be found in the strong Pro Hero reduced to incomprehensible sobbing and bawling in the hospital breakroom mere minutes earlier.
Eight.
You'd cried so heavily you had to muffle your mouth with your sweater so passing staff wouldn't be alerted to the sounds of your emotional breakdown. Feeling that fabric grow damp and sticky with the flood of your agonized tears, the humilation stung at you, but it was faint and trivial when measured against the surge of your dominant emotions: anger–anger at yourself, anger at the villains who would target and hunt children purely to force a pathway to All Might, anger at this world which normalized casualty and tragedy; fear that this was the beginning of the so-called Villain League's attacks and that Shota, and by extension, you, would be at the forefront of countless battles; and the knowledge that your Pro license didn't do a damn thing for you.
Could you genuinely label yourself a Hero if you couldn't save your lover of a decade?
It wasn't a lack of faith on your behalf, or you discounting his abilities–you were aware of his skill. You saw how he built himself up to be the highly specialized, skilled Eraserhead; but regardless of how formidable the person, you would pity the unfortunate soul who had the might of Hell and high water bearing down on their head.
You would pity yourself in that situation too.
Nine. Last finger to put down.
You had counted so you could collect yourself, present a solid face to Shota when you finally entered his room, but your efforts were in vain. Your eyes were damp again, and you rubbed them furiously on your sleeve, the irritated rims puffing out from the blood rushing to your temple. Shota's voice rang out- you were effectively busted.
"Come in."
The abruptness made you release a watery chuckle. The recovery room's observation window was advertised as being "one-way," as if that would hinder your lover's keen perception of his surroundings. His demonstration of sharpness eased your concerns to a degree. After all, dead bodies were usually less talkative and dumber than he was being..but you wanted to, no, needed to see him desperately.
"I came as soon as I heard what happened." Your voice shook when your gaze locked with his, peering through the stiff bandaged cast at you, one eyelid firmly shut and quivering with the other parted lazily and projecting an unshakable confidence in your direction. Shota's resolve wasn't frigid indifference but rather reliability, a slowly seeping warmth you could fall back on whenever standing by yourself felt impossible. He looked at you as if you were the wounded party between the pair of you, as if he could tell you wanted to run and he was convincing you you didn't have to–because his relentless determination would stay permanently untouched, and so would he. Unchanging, reassuring.
"But I was already on the plane when I received the news, so I..dammit, I was helpless. I..I just sat there, Shota. Sat there and watched as the headlines rolled in, as the media scrambled for some coherent information to pump out. I sat there for an awful twelve hours– that's how much time it took me to get a one-stop plane ride back to Japan and land. And by then, USJ was completely cleared of people. I heard you were in the hospital and had to track you down out of all the fucking confidential hero hospitals you could potentially be in." You balled your fists in your hair, working a dent into the floor beneath you from your agitated pacing.
You nervously glanced at him before averting your eyeline to the walls. Shame curled within you. "I had no idea where you were located, whether you were dead or injured or comatose," you whispered weakly.
Shota cleared his throat, and although it was dry, scratchy and emerged mainly as a pained gurgling bursting from his chest, your attention was on him anyway. Your head snapped towards him and you flinched as you saw him struggling to prop himself up in the bed. You rushed forward to help, but he fared on his own, evenutally pushing himself into a sitting position with the pillows for extra padding to keep him stable. He stared at you wordlessly, his mouth drawn taut in a frustrated, sad grimace until he patted the bed beside him for you to sit.
You agreed.
"We've had this conversation before, you know," he mumbled into your shoulder. You startled, your muscles jerking at the tickling sensation of his bandage wrap. That minute detail almost caused you to tumble into hysterics once more. Shit, it was annoying and the reflex was inconvenient, but it was a beacon of hope that you could be annoyed–the rubbing and tickling told you Shota's going to be okay since, look, you had the evidence of repair brushing against you to remind you. Persistently.
"We have?" You promoted him, nudging him with the gentleness you would save for a young child.
Shota sighed, puffing air through his nose, and sobered up fast; his demeanor returned to serious thoughtfulness as he straightened, his stature strangely close to traditional etiquette despite being bedridden. You waited in anticipation for him to gather himself and speak.
"We have. When we were twenty year olds rookies with brains thicker than concrete. I was dwelling on a mother and son I had failed to save in a rescue from months before. But it was you who told me– 'the past is worthless until you use it to improve your future, Aizawa, and it becomes worse than worthless when you allow it to impede your future. That mother and her little boy wouldn't want their memory to hold you back from becoming the hero I'm certain you can be. It's doing a disservice to them if you don't take advantage of those mistakes to avoid repeating them.'"
You froze. "Shota, that's not the same situation and you know it's not. I..goddammit, I was lost and confused in a foreign country fighting for a way to get back and I couldn't contact you, I couldn't figure out who made it through, you or the kids or All Might. Or Thirteen. There's a considerable disparity between that and immediate, subconscious mistakes you make in the field. That was no mistake-that was a gaping lack of oversight on my part. That was failure."
Shota raised his brow, unimpressed. "Fine, then. You failed.”
"So what?"
"So you become better for the sake of the people you believe you failed."
You felt like smacking your head against the bed frame. Him and his logical ruses, God. Never giving ground to you, but countering you with few words delivered concisely and setting you up to arrive at a preplanned destination but changing your course before you could catch up to where he'd cleverly spun the talk this round. You couldn't muster exasperation when you glared at him, however–your glare melted into fondness at the minuscule grin he wore and the overwhelming exhaustion and tenderness beneath his layer of amusement.
You were tired and hungry, Shota was tired and hungry, and you ached to hug him and refuse to let go forever.
You could start on attaining your ideal existence by filling your stomach.
"Hey, do you want food?" Affirmative grunt. "Would you like me to go get some?" Equally affirmative grunt. With his enthusiastic approval, you left his designated room and wandered throughout the hospital. It took longer than you would have supposed, but you came back to greet him with armfuls of instant ramen, oden, and sugary treats you bought solely to indulge yourself but tried to frame as 'purchases for two'.
"I brought you the fanciest cuisine they have avaliable in their vending machines," you said. Shota snorted as you dumped the packages across the visitor's chair and gently dropped into your place beside him on the bed, careful not to hit him or disturb his wounds.
Your hand wound up to the crown of his head, where your hand tangled into the strands of his hair, fingers squeezing the tangled mess it was. "Can I tempt you?" You muttered into his ear.
He hummed noncommitally, his lips quirking. "I trust you." You had to restrain yourself from smiling so wide that you scared off your quarry, a pleased smugness rising from how naturally and freely he delivered that.
His humming turned from casual to an evident sign of contentment as your faithful ministrations endured for a while. It wasn't quite normalcy with how you tucked the pads of your fingers in so they wouldn't grace his forehead and circled a cautious breadth around all regions of his face, but it was adequate to drive your fears into some rarely ventured corner of your mind to torture you at a later date.
Definitely became more adequate when Shota passed out draped on your form. He was slouching, his nose buried in the crook of your neck and his unharmed right hand motionless on your leg. When you shuffled subtly to get a nicer angle and actually see the wonderful sight you had achieved, he groaned in protest, and you couldn't find it in yourself to attempt to leave when he was smiling. Deviously soft, and oblivious to your judgment–he was smiling in his sleep.
Most who had to deal with him would deal with Aizawa, the hardass teacher or Aizawa, the workaholic who could be seen bent over his laptop at ungodly hours of morning and night grading papers and drafting reports for his principal. Some unlucky fools would be pursued by him and would be petrified when Eraserhead's eerie crimson irises fell upon them, stripping them of the controlled sense of superiority they clung to as their refuge.
But you knew a secret an extremely select few were privy to. You knew that his shell was dense and tough yet brittle, a personification of intimidating traits he adopted when they served him, and he was a bleeding heart for the victims of the world who couldn't fight for themselves, for those children he taught who had glinting stars inside them he would never permit to be stamped out.
And that was why you were terrified. Because you knew he was breakable.
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alyssaalarizaa · 4 years
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Final Destination
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What makes me unique?: My Personality Traits
      What makes me unique is my personality. Over high school I feel I have changed for the better. Before high school I was insecure and shy. My state of mind has definitely changed as well. I learned that everyone is born with pure joy and innocence but the experiences we face in life, struggles we go through and how we handle situations is what shapes us into the people we are. I really enjoy learning new things and like to seek new learning opportunities. This demonstrates that I am focused and unafraid of new challenges. Four years ago I would have never thought I would be the person I am today.
        I always try to see the best in people, I’m a good listener, and I have an open heart. I make others feel welcomed with my positivity and I feel I overall bring a good vibe to people. I know when I make choices they’re always for a reason even if they don't end in positive outcomes, I know deep down everything happens for a reason and I know what’s best for myself. I’m a good listener by always being there for the people I care about and listening to others when they tell me their problems. I tend to have an open heart towards others because I've grown up that way and I take it after my mom. 
       The people at Salesian that I have met I know have shaped me into the person I am now. Coming to Salesian I feel I have made the friends that will last the rest of my life since they are a big part of who I am today. A lot of people see me as unique because of the way I present myself. A lot of my friends and family have told me I have a welcoming aroma and I never judge a book by its cover. I’m always interested in meeting new people and jumping at new opportunities that are given to me. 
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  What is good citizenship?: My love for the Community
     To me good citizenship is when one properly fulfills their role as a citizen. One must respect the institutions of the country, respect the laws of the state, and not commit crimes. At school some good qualities in being a good citizen include being respectful to property, following rules, presenting good character, and by giving back to the community. Obeying the laws, working and contributing to society and being positive towards others.
    Since we are in a pandemic it has caused many schools to close down for the rest of the year and to enforce online schooling. To be a good citizen at school means that you are actively participating in class, doing your work on time and asking questions. In other ways, I think service day at Salesian and having to do personal service hours is a great way to serve the community and others. Service I have contributed to was handing sandwiches out to the homeless at People’s Park in Berkeley. I was positive towards others during this service project by taking into consideration their living conditions. Growing up I knew helping others was super important and this service project that I did since freshman year made me feel super good about my well being towards the homeless community.
      I believe being a hard worker is part of being a good citizen. When you work hard you are able to provide services for others and earn money which contribute to a stronger economy. Practicing good citizenship is something everyone should do because it makes the community stronger. 
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Quote: Laughter is the Best Medicine 
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.” This quote was said by Audrey Hepburn and I find it very inspirational especially for women. 
     The part of this quote that I really liked the most is where she says, “I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls.” When a girl looks genuinely happy with herself and has confidence you can tell and that’s what makes the person much more beautiful. The part of the quote I felt like I could relate to was when she says, “laughing is the best calorie burner.” Having fun and enjoying life is the best way to live. Sometimes when you're sad and you don’t think you will be able to be happy again laughter I think is what takes over the soul and revives it. Even at the hardest times in life, laughing when you're sad is the best medicine. 
      Overall I think this is a very powerful quote and shows that there is always a light at the end of a dark tunnel. There is a song by Bruno Mars and it relates to this quote because he says, “Behind every storm and cloudy day there is a sky full of lighters. For you and me both that will help us live out our dreams exactly the way it should be.” God has a plan for all of us and I believe that even if things don’t go our way or the way we want it to there is a miracle waiting for us at the other end.
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Empowerment: Confidence & Self Love
      Empowerment means authority or power given to someone to do something. To me it means to become stronger and more confident as a person. The first step into empowerment is self love. In other words, I believe If you can’t learn to love yourself first you can’t have a kind heart and love towards others. I believe I empower my own life because I set meaningful and personal goals for myself in life. If I have a goal I reach for it and take action to achieve those goals. 
     Someone who empowers me and that I look up to is my Mom. At a young age I have always looked up to my mom and we have always been super close. She has taught me to never give up on anything and that I can do anything I set my mind to. My mother is such an inspiration to me and is super hard working. She always listens to me and helps me solve problems. She has helped me get through a lot and has impacted my life greatly. Whenever I am down or sad she always gives me a shoulder to cry on. I learned from my mom to stand up for myself and to not care what negative things people have to say. Alongside her job she comes home after a long day and still cooks and cleans. My mom has always pushed me to work hard at my goals and always makes me feel special. 
      In conclusion with everything you have going on now in life even if it may drive you to sadness, we need to realize that we shouldn’t dwell on the past but instead look into the future and realize that a lot of our problems won’t matter. There have been many situations that I have dwelled on about and later realized and asked myself why I was so upset about it. After knowing what I know, instead of worrying about what I was upset about I learned to be more focused on what will consume my head space in the near future. This relates to empowerment because I have watched myself sprout into the wonderful being I am today.
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My life: My biggest struggles and how I overcame them
      Sophomore year Is when I began to break out really bad on my face. I was insecure and shy and I felt it was all anyone looked at when they talked to me. I tried every prescription my doctor gave me but nothing worked. They then told me about Accutane which is a harsh medication which dries out every part of your body. After about a month my skin took a turn for the best, I felt more confident in my own skin and my overall mental health was much better. 
       My friends and family are the people who have shaped who I am today. At a young age I was always kind and a lot of the friends that I had took advantage of it. I was bullied and I feel like this is what made me distance myself from certain people. I began to distance myself from people because I was always afraid I would be treated the same way again. Looking back at this point in my life it’s where I realized I became shy. I didn’t realize then how to handle a situation such as the one I was in, but now that I’m older I look back and realize I would have handled things differently. 
     Once I got to high school that all changed for me. My friends and family have made me stronger, feel more confident in myself and are always motivating me to always do my best. I have learned a lot from past friendships and relationships that I know how I want to be treated and how to treat my peers. Through high school I learned to not care what people think of me and have definitely been able to be more myself. I’m excited for the next chapter in my life being college because I know I can take what experiences I’ve had in high school and take them with me through the rest of my life.
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