#Lmao I'm sorry guys I felt silly today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

torra-and-the-toons · 1 year

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Not sure if you know about the interview with storyboard artist Joel Dickie, where he mentioned he pictured Edd as a woman in the future, and also not completely sure if this is up your alley, but: writing prompt "can I tell you a secret?", with Dee having a heart-to-heart with Eddy about gender identity?

I do know about it! I fully and whole-heartedly love the idea of Trans Edd! In fact, I very vividly remember when watching the show as a kid, there was a brief time when I seriously thought Edd was a girl, same with Jimmy tbh.

It was something silly too that made me think that, like an early season when Edd wore his towel over his nips like a girl would and that's what made my child brain wonder if Edd was actually a girl. Jimmy I only realized was a boy upon rewatching ed edd n eddy in my 20's. Throughout my whole childhood I was legitimately confused why they showed Jimmy shirtless in his swimsuit lmao!

I'm just a little hesitant to write for the headcanon because I don't have a lot of knowledge or experience in what it's like transitioning like that, and I'm terrified of misrepresenting people who are trans in real life, so I usually leave it to people who know better than I do.

But I'll take a crack at it for you, I'm sorry if it's poorly depicted.

#13 "Can I tell you a secret?" Edd/Eddy, trans!Edd (I use she/her for Edd, but she still has the same name because I'm not creative enough to think of one right now, sorry.)

It was incredible, really… how truly shameless Eddy was at times, Edd discovered one day as the man in question burst into her room, unannounced with yet another dirty magazine in hand.

“Hey, Double Dee! Check out my new mag!” rips through the veil of peaceful silence like a machete, startling Edd so badly that she nearly fell off her desk chair. She cast a wild glance at Eddy, who was already trudging happily through her room to plop himself down on her bed like he owned the place. Really, who could believe this guy?!

“There’s an invention called knocking, Eddy, have you heard of it?!” she quipped angrily.

Eddy ignored her words, instead he held out his new magazine with a smug grin. “Check it out! It’s a vintage edition playboy! Can you believe it?!” he exclaimed, barely able to contain his stifled chuckles of excitement.

Edd’s stomach dropped when her eyes skimmed over the risqué cover. Even before she started questioning her gender identity, such magazines always made her vaguely uncomfortable. It felt wrong to even look at them, to indulge in the objectifying of a woman’s body. How Eddy could read them so callously was beyond her. Even still, she couldn’t ignore the pang of envy she felt, to have such a beautiful form to flaunt must be nice.

Edd cleared her throat. “Really, Eddy? Another paycheck down the drain to fuel your never-ending sex-drive?”

Eddy’s brows furrowed. “No! We found this in my brother’s room when we were cleaning it out, tucked away in a hidden corner! It’s a one of a kind and now it’s all mine!” he cackled as he threw himself onto his back and opened the cover.

“You better not be thinking of doing anything indecent on my bed…” Edd said pointedly.

“Relax! I’m just lookin’!”

“Did you have a point in barging into my room? Other than to flaunt your crude magazine?”

“Don’t you want in on this Hot Babe Action?!” Eddy snickered, flapping about his magazine in a tantalizing manner. “Aren’t you a man? Where’s your sense of adventure?!”

Edd bit her lip so hard, she nearly drew blood. All at once she was hit with a wall of anxiety. She’d never told Eddy the truth, or anyone else for that matter, despite battling with her gender identity for the better half of a year now. She was afraid of the reactions of her peers, but more importantly her dearest friends, and her deepest crush.

But right now, it was becoming increasingly difficult to hide it. She drew in a shaking breath in an attempt to steady her rattled nerves. This wasn’t how she was expecting her day to go, but today would be the day she would talk about this with him.

Eddy hadn’t seemed to pick up on her anxious shift in body language as he went back to skimming the pages. Edd swallowed the lump in her throat.

“Would you like me if I looked like them?” she asked, her voice small and trembling.

Eddy peeked over the pages, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What’re you talkin’ about?”

“The girls on your magazine… would you like me if I looked like them?” she repeated.

Eddy was dreadfully quiet for entirely too long as his gaze flickered between the pages and Edd. Finally, he let out a breathy chuckle.

“You feelin’ okay, Sockhead?”

Edd’s palms clammed up. That wasn’t quite the response she’d hoped for… She was suddenly overwhelmed with the urge to backpedal her way out of this conversation but used every ounce of her willpower to stay strong.

He needed to hear this.

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Finally, Eddy seemed to pick up on the seriousness in the atmosphere as he sat up, watching Edd curiously. “Yea, of course.”

Edd’s heart was pounding so hard, she swore Eddy could see it beating through the fabric of her shirt. “I don’t identify as a man… not anymore.”

She desperately wished she could see what Eddy was thinking as he processed what she told him. For a solid minute, he merely stared blankly at her. There was no sign of disgust, at least, she thought to herself hopefully.

Realizing he’d been silent for too long, Eddy cleared his throat awkwardly. “Wait… for real?” he practically squeaked.

“Yes,” Edd affirmed. “Are you that surprised? I’ve never been the epidemy of masculinity like you.”

“N-No, I’m just--... You want to be a woman?”

“I’d appreciate it if you addressed me as such, yes,” Edd explained as calmly as she could muster.

Eddy fell silent again. She knew deep down that he was merely processing this information, but right now his silence was the loudest sound in existence. She wanted to hear his true thoughts, not stare at a blank face.

“Do you hate me for it?” She found the question escape her before she could stop it, and nearly clasped her own hands over her mouth in regret.

“Of course not!” Eddy answered almost immediately, his conviction clear in his assertive tone. By now, his new magazine had been cast aside, forgotten about momentarily in this newfound moment between them.

“You’ve been my best friend since we were kids, nothing will change that!” Eddy explained. “It’s just… a lot to take in.”

His words lifted the heavy blanket of anxiety that had draped over Edd’s shoulders. Eddy may be a crude and brutish man, but to have his acceptance meant to world to her, more than he may ever know.

“And for the record…” Eddy began awkwardly, clearing his throat. His cheeks turned a shade darker as he averted his eyes bashfully. “You might not be a playboy model, but… you are still an attractive girl… just sayin’.”

Edd couldn’t help but to smile. “Thank you, Eddy.”

#my writing #300 event #eddeddy #trans edd

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ifidiedinadream · 1 year

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story time:

I have an inside joke with my concert buddy and it's about counting how many gigs it takes Ale to stop ignoring me and wave back. So I was at like five gigs and all the interactions I had with him was me waving hello and him just blankly staring and then walking away, not seeing me at all or talking to a person literally next to me, which more often than not happened to be said concert buddy. I've never gone VIP, just a fansign at a festival, where i had gone up to their booth with a copy of LOTSAD and I was kinda tipsy and scared so all i said was 'hi'. AND THIS LITTLE SHIT HAD THE AUDACITY TO LOOK ME STRAIGHT IN THE EYES AND THEN ASK ME HOW I'M FEELING.

I fucking died. The only thing i remember saying was like "bitch i came here from abroad just to see you". I remember him like nudging Olli about that and then they both were like "Oh, this is so sweet of you! Did you like the other artists? Is it your first festival? Do you like it here? How's the beer? How's the weather, does it rain a lot like today? Was it you that brought the CD? Where are you from?"

(i love how they were like "ok lemme kill them")

After that i had to chainsmoke like six cigs to calm down lmao I will remember this forever and he can now ignore me for the rest of my life. I know it's nothing special and most likely was just because (they're sweethearts) they literally have to talk to fans, but I kinda headcannon it as them being legit curious about me. I will not elaborate.

Conclusion: my silly little attention curse has been lifted i guess.

i'm sorry but i'll never stop adoring every single fan experience with ale you guys tell me about he's just the sweetest person ever and i love him immensely okay (olli too olli is super sweet too) 😭😭😭😭😭

this is wonderful and i'm glad you had this experience, im sure you'll treasure it in your heart forever 🖤

and btw i absolutely understand the tipsiness and chainsmoking, i literally had to take one whole gram of xanax before the m&g because i felt like i could collapse from the nerves. but they really put you at ease once you're there

#answered

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nightcall99 · 1 month

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Dreams from 22.8.24

Dream 1: I was walking in my home city and I was with a group of people and we passed by a McDonald's. Then a few minutes later when we'd already turned the corner, one girl said, Oh I wanted to order something from there. I said, Don't you worry there's another one coming up, you can always trust that there'll be another McDonalds a short distance away. Sure enough, we could see one maybe 100m away. It felt like maybe these girls weren't from here and I was showing them around or something.

Dream 2: I was in Vietnam on holiday with a group of people. I knew I was going to be there for 10 days. I had looked forward to it and I knew I would look really tan by the time I got home. I haven't had any sun in ages. We all slept on a huge mattress which was on the ground that pretty much covered the entire floor of the room. During my sleep I was letting out so much gas, it was wild (LMAO sorry). I kinda figured everyone was asleep and hadn't heard me. When I woke up in the morning I felt embarrassed thinking how that was a pretty bold assumption to make just because everyone was silent at the time. I kinda knew they were asleep though, I could sense it and no one was acting any differently toward like disgusted or anything. Or maybe they had head and just didn't care. I just let it go. Then everyone woke up and we laid there awhile and lounged. SM was there. We were wondering what we would do today and looking up different things to do on our phones. SM and I gravitated toward each other, inching closer and closer. I felt him and he felt me. There was a strong energy of longing.

I was playing music on my phone. There was one song I played which was a love song and each time a corny lyric came on I seemed to hear it extra loud, like it’s all I could hear and I became hyper aware of it. I think he did too (this has happened irl with the work radio). Other songs were played and I kept changing it which he seemed amused by. I felt like the apple of his eye. He was watching me with such love and admiration and I felt like I was the most beautiful girl in the world when I was just being silly, lying there in my pyjamas. I just had on an oversized t-shirt and when I got up to move closer, I think my backside showed but there was no feeling of being objectified at all.

I kept thinking that we were in Ha Noi but I felt strange about it in the back of my mind, like why would I be here? If I was in Vietnam, I should be somewhere in the South where my parents are from. I would type in Ho Chi Minh city in google and then backspace because I started realising I might actually be in Ha Noi.

Then we got up because we decided on some rough plans for the day. There was some other guy there who I knew liked me and was trying to pursue me. He said, So you wanna get high? I'll get you some. I didn’t know how he was going to get a connect in a foreign country but he seemed confident. I was a bit hesitant. I said, Well I dunno because it makes me dumb for like 3 days afterward. I was tossing up whether it was worth it or not. He said it affects him like that too for 3 days also. He said, Come on you don’t get back home till next week. He was right, I would have heaps of time to recover. I ended up agreeing because why don’t I let loose a little and live? I'm on holiday after all. I said ok but I’ll just do a few puffs. I didn't want to go crazy with it. I knew that this guy would look after me while I was here and even though he wasn’t my type.

We left the house as a group and my intern was there and I could hear him telling us about some odd way to wash dishes here in his home. I guess we were all here because he was hosting and irl he is from somewhere in Ha Noi (like a nearby country town) so I guess I was in the north after all. He said that here, we just leave the dirty dishes outside and in time it gets clean. I think he meant it undergoes some kind of process to do with the elements. I thought it was kinda intriguing, this way of doing things I’d never heard of before. I felt kinda glad I was here but not ecstatic or anything.

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thelandofthelesser · 7 years

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Crimson Skulls and Spilled Ink

“You look nervous, Red.”

Matt Murdock looked up from the menu, across the table at the man sitting across him. “She’s a bit late.”

Frank Castle leaned back. “She’s always late. She’s got work this week, right?”

“You’re right,” he said and put the menu down. “This is a bit unusual, that’s all.”

“Feels right to me.”

“Kicking people’s heads in feels right to you. I don’t trust your judgement.”

Frank laughed, picking up his cup. “That’s why I love ya, Matty. That sense of humour you always keep hidden under the red leather and lawyer clothes.”

Matt paused and smiled. “You love me?”

“Don’t take it so personally. I love my dog, I love my barber… I got a lot of love to give. Hence,” he spread his arms wide, “the situation we’re in right now.”

Matt laughed and looked around the restaurant. It was expensive - not that it mattered. He wanted to get this right. He didn’t want to scare her away.

The waiter stopped by their table. “You two about ready to order?”

Matt looked at Frank, who nodded. “Might as well get a drink or something.”

“Okay, uh -” Matt flipped through the menu. “I don’t really know much about wines . . .”

“I’d recommend the Aldi Rosé. We’re offering a good price for it this week - and it’s a personal favourite.”

“That sounds great,” Matt said. “One bottle, please.”

“Do you have any hard stuff?” Frank asked.

“Oh, don’t mind him -”

“Reds don’t mix well with me,” he said and grinned. “Usually.”

He blushed and cleared his throat, realising the waiter was still standing there. “The bottle, and one shot of whiskey, please. Dealer’s choice.”

“Sure,” the waiter said, and walked off just as their date walked in and sat down on the table next to them.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” Karen Page said flusteredly, setting her bag down and pulling up the chair.

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We weren’t waiting long,” Matt said, shifting his weight in the seat awkwardly. Suddenly this seemed like a bad idea. He could hardly look her in the eye.

“I’m sure that’s true. Frank, how long were you guys waiting?”

“About -” he glanced at his watch. “Half an hour, I’d say.”

“Oh, goddammit. I’m really sorry, you guys. It’s just - work. There was a deadline I got real close to missing because some stories got shuffled around -” she stopped and ran a hand through her hair self-consciously. “But you guys don’t need to hear about that right now.”

“Nah, it’s alright. I told him it’d be cause of the job,” Frank said airily.

“Yeah,” Matt said and smiled awkwardly, meeting her eyes. “S’alright.”

“Well,” she said and looked at the two of them. “I don’t really know what to say anymore.”

“I was just telling Matt it’s an unusual situation,” Frank said. “I guess we’re all here just to see how you feel about it.”

“Just - if you’ve changed your mind -” Matt started.

“No, don’t be silly!” Karen interjected. “I haven’t changed my mind. It’s just, it’s all very new. I haven’t done anything like this before.”

“Yeah, me neither.”

“I have,” Frank said.

They looked at him. “When? With who?” Matt asked.

“A bunch of guys and girls I used to know. We never really took the whole - the whole relationship thing too strictly, you know? We just . . . dated around.”

“Interesting,” Karen said. “I never figured you the type.”

“College is the time for that kind of thing. You swing both ways, Miss Page?”

Matt kicked him under the table. “Rude!”

Karen laughed. “It’s alright. I don’t - I don’t really know? College was less of a time for experimentation and more of theater and keeping up with the rest of the class.”

“Theater?” Matt asked. “I didn’t know you did theater.”

“Oh sure, the usual stuff, the boring stuff, you know. Shakespeare, mostly. ‘I do love nothing in the world so well as you -’”

“‘- Is that not strange?’” he finished. “Much Ado About Nothing!”

“You did Shakespeare too?”

“Oh, well - It was a tough time reading the lines in Braille, but I made it work.”

Frank chuckled.

“What?” Matt asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” he replied. “Just - you guys are cute together.”

The wine arrived, the waiter pouring glasses for the Karen and Matt, and giving Frank a shot of whiskey.

Frank downed the shot almost immediately. “You know - I’m suddenly not feeling this restaurant anymore.”

“You wanna do something else?” Matt asked.

“Just itching for excitement, is all.”

“I don’t think beating up criminals makes for a good first date,” Karen said and laughed.

“Well, you’re only saying that because you’re not bored.”

“You’re bored?”

“I think there are . . . better places for a first date.”

“Such as?” Matt asked.

“Am I holding it right?” Matt asked, holding the gun up, pointing it forwards. He couldn’t quite tell if he was aiming directly at the mark.

“Pretty well,” Frank said, adjusting his aim. “I imagine you’ve handled guns before.”

“A few times. Didn’t go well.”

“Karen, you sure you don’t wanna have a go?” Frank asked. She was leaning against the wall of the shooting gallery. This time of night, no one else had ventured inside, leaving them the only ones in the room. Frank knew the owner, so they’d even gotten in for free.

She shrugged. “I’m not really eager to handle guns again, just yet. I’d love to see you both try, though.”

“Try? My man doesn’t try,” Frank said and clapped Matt on the back, who nearly fell over the counter. “Show her what you’ve got, Red.”

“Alright . . .” Matt said, biting his lip and aiming the gun. He focused on his hearing, tried to hone in on that one slip of paper that was swinging slightly in mid-air, tried to separate that sound from everything else in the room, and then emptied the gun magazine into it.

BANG.

“Holy hell, Red.”

Matt turned and looked at them. “What, did I do well? Did I get the target?”

“You kinda missed all of them,” Karen said, laughing her head off.

“It was a good attempt - we’ll chalk it up to beginner’s bad luck.” Frank reloaded the gun and got behind him, placing the gun in his hands and holding them together tightly. Matt could feel his chest on his back, his warmth.

It felt nice.

“Just hold it steady here - and squeeze tight, alright? Look - there, you can do it.”

BANG.

“That was better!” Frank said and let go of him. Matt smiled at him sweetly.

“I have a good teacher.”

They turned back to see Karen grinning at them.

“What?” Frank demanded.

“Nothing,” she replied, beaming. “You guys are just cute together.”

Matt laughed and Frank stepped forward. “Alright, har har, Miss Page. Your turn. No excuses.”

“Okay, okay,” she said and took position.

BANG.

“Damn,” she said, squeezing the trigger. “Forgot to reload.”

“If this were a fight,” Frank said, taking the gun from her, “you’d be dead.”

“No, I wouldn’t. You’d save me.”

“Damn straight I would. Regular action hero, that’s what I am, constantly saving the damsel and her, ah, sidekick.”

“Was that a jab at me?” Matt asked, feigning offense.

“You take it how you will, Red.”

Matt grinned and leaned over, his hand reaching around Frank’s back and pulling him closer. “Promise?”

“Talking about a nightcap, Murdock? In front of Miss Page over here?”

Matt looked at her. “Nightcap, Karen?”

She tilted her head and smiled. “Are you making a move on me, Matt?”

“Well, uh - I’d definitely understand if you think this is too soon.”

“No. No, this is, um . . .” she pressed a hand against his chest. “This isn’t too soon.”

Matt turned to Frank. “We should get outta here.”

“Yeah,” Frank said quickly, and led the three of them out of the gun shop. They took a cab home together and offered to split the bill - but Matt refused and paid it in full.

They were his guests for the night, after all. What kind of host would he be if he didn’t take care of them?

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worriedvision · 3 years

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Unresolved feelings - Albedo

So this was another idea I had for Albedo based on the event lmao, so event spoilers below the cut and angst! Gender neutral reader

Albedo, Sucrose and yourself were friendly with one another, Timaeus sometimes tagging along. When Timaeus did come along with you guys to outings, he more often than not spent his time with you, talking with you about mundane subjects. Truth be told, he admitted his feelings for Sucrose, and in turn you eventually said your feelings for Albedo. To that, he responded with an 'obviously', earning a laugh from you and Albedo and Sucrose looking over, curious as to what Timaeus just said.

Truth be told, you both believed Sucrose and Albedo were 'good' for each other - they looked right together. It did hurt, but you slowly started to turn down their outings, opting to spend more time with Timaeus. He still hadn't been able to quench his feelings for Sucrose, and he planned on confessing to her. Somehow, this led to you both walking through Dragonspine. You both knew Albedo was in Mondstadt anyway, and Sucrose hated being in the cold. Timaeus headed towards the materials he knew Sucrose dreamt of having in her inventory, and you feel someone tapping you on the shoulder. You turn to see Albedo, which surprised you.

"May we have a word?" Albedo hushed out, walking away before you could deny him. You follow suit, finding it odd that he wouldn't wait for you to respond. He turns around once again, facing you.

"I noticed you're...growing more distant from me. Rather, from Sucrose and myself." Albedo stated. "Is there a reason?" He asks, folding his arms as he makes direct eye contact with you.

Somehow, you gained enough confidence to confess. Before you can stop yourself, you're admitting you have romantic feelings for Albedo. Finally stopping, you look up to see Albedos reaction, only to get hurt by the blank, no changing stare.

"Oh." He acknowledges your comment. You expected even an 'im sorry, but I like sucrose', but nope. You're met with his form coldly walking away from you.

"I'm back!" Timaeus cheers, finding you stood still. "...Are you okay?" He asks, now concerned as he walks around you, only to see you crying. His eyes widen, escorting you to Windrise where it's quiet and warm enough to have a normal conversation.

"I feel so stupid. I shouldn't have said a thing, I told myself I was just going to move on. I knew they were together, and I still selfishly confessed." You blurt out, stopping as Timaeus pulls you in, hugging you. Normally, you weren't the kind of person to want a hug from anyone, but Timaeus was an exception in these cases. You both felt the pain of finding out the one you have feelings for has chosen someone else.

Sucrose was walking towards Dragonspine herself, and she looks over when she begins to pass Windrise, worrying when she notices you're crying. Running over, she asks if you're okay. You sniffle, humiliated that Albedos girlfriend had noticed you crying.

"It's been a rough day, that's all." Timaeus speaks on your behalf, rubbing your back. Sucrose furrows her brow, not happy that her friends had been struggling with something without them reaching out, even just to explain things. Sucrose offers you three to go for drinks, and both you and Timaeus reluctantly nod.

"Oh, t-that doesn't sound l-like him..." Sucrose hums out, clearly not impressed as she’s nursing her drink, looking over with curious eyes. "Wait...was this today?" Sucrose asks, suddenly rather confused. You nod, and Sucrose tilts her head.

"B-but Albedos been in Mondstadt all day. He was working with Lisa at one point, she can tell you herself." Surcose stutters out, pouting before she takes a sip of her drink. "...why were you there, Timaeus?"

Timaeus freezes up, but before he can back out, you point to Sucrose, not angry but instead smiling stupidly.

"Y-You, silly!" You laugh, liquid courage bursting out, causing both Sucrose and Timaeus to blush furiously.

"...It's true." Timaeus admits. "I was planning on giving them to you when confessing, but we realised both you and Albedo were together after they confessed..." Timaeus trails off, cut off by Sucrose gasping before extending a hand, holding Timaeus' wrist.

"O-oh goodness, no!" Sucrose corrects loudly, clearing her throat once she realises her feelings were threatening to bubble out. You smile, patting Timeaus on the back for luck before bidding them farewell, heading home after paying the tab. You had a feeling they needed to talk without you there, and for once you didn't feel as hurt when you saw Sucrose.

The next day, Albedo arrives to have the weekly meeting with the team regarding their work. Sucrose and Timaeus seemed happy, much more so than previously, but you were nowhere. Albedo finds himself getting mad, but doesn’t voice this as Sucrose and Timaeus have already started their findings. He kept an ear open for you, but you didn’t show once. The way Timaeus was being more friendly with Sucrose than usual didnt strike right to him, he believed you were dating Timaeus because you spent that much time together.

“Timaeus, where is your lover?” Albedo asked, making uncomfortable eye contact with him as he crossed his arms, awaiting his response. What he doesn’t expect, however, is for Lisa to come walking along, a bag in hand filled with what looked like a hangover cure.

“Why, she's right next to him, silly! If you meant your colleague, they're home .” Lisa chuckles, her heels clacking against the cobble floor. Albedo turns back around to see Sucrose now holding Timaeus' hand, smiling softly at him. He feels bittersweet about this - on one hand, finally Sucrose had confessed. On the other hand, he had no clue what happened to you.

You run to the door the moment it knocks, glad to have woken up in enough time to be decent when apologising for sleeping in. You expected Timaeus to maybe show up, but you're surprised when it's Lisa. She smiles and chuckles before walking past you, inviting herself in as she places herself into one of the chairs by the table newly occupied by the bag. You close the door, following suit as you wait for her to give some sort of 'poor you' speech.

"I've heard you're struggling with a certain someone..." Lisa chuckles. She opens the bag, revealing a potion that you recognised to be good for hangovers, along with a leaflet.

"I've recently started up a dating group. Don't worry, you're not going to be in a speed-date. To summarize it, you'll be given a date and depending on what happens, the two of you may or may not become a couple." Lisa explains, handing you a checklist. "Tick the boxes that apply to you, and I'll work my magic."

And with that, she leaves, closing the door behind her as she begins to plan your date.

Oh yes, her plan was sure to work.

You were glad that Sucrose was happy to explain you were sick, and you'd be good as new the next day. When Albedo informed Sucrose to pass the message that you were to remain off for 48 hours, you think nothing of it.

Hearing someone knocking on your door the next day, you're surprised to see Kaeya.

"Oh, Captain Kaeya!" You say, concerned something happened. "How may I be of service to the Knights?"

You stop thinking when Kaeya chuckles, extending an arm out before he waits for you to loop your arm in his. Your lack of actions allows him to raise a brow, and he waits further.

"I'm your date." Kaeya explains, deciding to take your hand and escort you to Mondstadt.

Specifically, the Good Hunter.

"Now, here's the plan for today." Kaeya whispers loud enough only for you to hear. "We're going to light a fire under the chief alchemist."

"I don't want to lose my job, Captain Kaeya." You gasp out, making Kaeya sigh out.

"Not literally. Just play along, okay?" Kaeya reassures you, smiling when you nod and he arrives at the front gates of Mondstadt.

Albedo hears Kaeya from a mile away, stopping a groan from coming out as he continues his mundane work. He noticed Kaeya has someone with him, no surprise, and he is clearly wooing them.

He stops what he's doing, however, when he hears the person serving Kaeya states your name. He looks up, and to his...what feeling was this? Surprise? Probably not. Disgust? Absolutely not, he never found you to be disgusting to be around.

The moment Kaeya makes eye contact with him, it's like he realised what he felt for you.

He was in love, and it explained so much. Why he got more hostile with Timaeus when you weren't around, how his chest ached when he saw you happily talking to Timaeus. Sucrose told Albedo off after Timaeus received the treatment when she was there, crossing her arms and pouting when Albedo didn't really respond at all, nor did he truly apologize.

"I must say, the sun really brings out the beauty that is hidden in your eyes." Kaeya hums in thought, looking directly at you with a smirk. You giggle, shying away.

"Hey, less of that, you." You chuckle. "This is our first date, silly!"

First date? Maybe he still had a chance!

"All the more reason then!" Kaeya sighs out, eye looking at Albedo to make sure he was paying attention. You look down at your chicken skewer, seeing only Ind bite was left, and you get an idea. You hold the skewer out, Kaeya thankfully catching on. Kaeya bites in, making a noise of satisfaction before complimenting your food.

"It is a basic skewer." Your stomach drop's when you hear Albedo talking down to yourself and Kaeya.

"Good morning to you to." Kaeya replies, a hand on his chin.

"This isn't what I meant when I said take the day off, _." Albedo cooly states. "I thought we could have had a day out." He continues, scolding himself for assuming you'd just happily walk into work to see Timaeus.

"And why would I spend time with the man who clearly doesn't care about my feelings?" You reply. "I would have taken rejection, Albedo. But you gave nothing." You continue, turning to see a look of surprise on Kaeya.

"This is...interesting..." Kaeya hums in thought. "And here I thought Lisa's information on Albedo was correct." He sighs out.

"Wait, what do you mean 'I would have taken rejection'?" Albedo asks, stumbling over his words.

You laugh at Albedos reaction, thinking he's trying to look better in the situation, only for Kaeya to hold his hand up.

"Hold on a minute." Kaeya adds on. "Amber told me about something similar. It's a long story, but I believe Amber's story was not fictional." Kaeya gives Albedo a knowing look, seeing how thin Albedos mouth suddenly got out of an indescribable emotion. Kaeya finds himself looking over at Timaeus, who seemed to be keeping a close eye on you during the interaction.

"Tell me, do you have an 'imposter'?" Kaeya asks Albedo.

Albedo opens his mouth, planning on explaining a possibility only to feel a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He looks up, finding himself relieved that Eula and Amber were there.

"He does. Both Amber and I have experienced it, and although we resolved this, the both of us have learned that we should keep the situation in mind." Eula nods.

"So, what was this rejection?" Amber hums, causing everyone to turn to you in anticipation. You find yourself shrinking under everyone's look, and it didn't help that you could see Timaeus with an enthusiastic thumbs up, encouraging you to confess once again. You feel a reassuring hand on your thigh from Kaeya, reassuring you that nobody was going to be as dismissive as 'Albedo' clearly was.

"I ..." You suddenly realise there's two other Captains, and the outrider, all there. If you admit your feelings, it could be considered unacceptable for you to work under Albedo at all.

"uhh..." You stall, hoping to figure out how to say it without saying it.

"You...?" Kaeya eggs you on, encouraging you to confess in words. To him as well as anyone watching, you clearly had feelings for Albedo.

"I...Have romantic feelings for Albedo." You say quietly, loud enough for Albedo to hear but not loud enough that anyone else could. The lack of response from Albedo is all you needed to know he didn't return the feelings, and you slowly get up before you walk aimlessly out of Mondstadts gates.

You reach Windrise once again, and you hear a set of footsteps slowly approaching. You assume it's Timaeus, and you feel a pair of arms enveloping you, pulling you into their chest for a hug.

"I should have learned my lesson from last time." You whine into what you believed was Timaeus.

"Did your feelings for me change?" You pull back in horror, recognising the voice as Albedos. Before you can run off, however, Albedo grasps your hand. "My feelings for you haven't changed, and I believe yours is similar to mine."

#albedo x reader #genshin impact x reader #albedo x gender neutral reader #albedo

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moononastring · 2 years

Note

gigi this is so silly but there may have been a small development with Work Boy today. so i ripped my pants at work today... it was a long time coming, since jeans tend to get weak in the thighs, y'know? i also don't have much of a "that's a weird thing, don't do that" filter. so while i was kinda venting about my day, i punctuated it with "... and to make things worse, my pants ripped!! " and for some reason, i showed him the rip?? on my inner thigh???? 🙈🙈i can't with myself sometimes.

anyway, we were talking about it a bit later (i felt the need to apologize for the HR violation lol) and he was like, "did i turn as red as i felt like i was?" and i said, "i dunno. you turned away too fast for me to tell. you looked like a gentleman who just saw a victorian lady's ankle." and he goes "honestly, that's kinda how it felt." ….gigi i've never seen a man get so flustered over a thumb-sized hole in a pantleg but here we are. i feel as powerful as i do mortified lmao. so i guess Work Boy is a thigh guy 👀(a man of taste).

ALSO i was supposed to reach out to the managing editor about the job today, and she didn't respond to my email 😩😩. .... i'm experiencing a lot of blueballing in my life rn. (me and eris should start a club 🤪)

how did that interview go?? i’ve been keeping my fingers crossed for you! you deserve to do something you’re excited about (: thank you for letting me use your ask box as my little diary. in case you haven’t noticed, i have a lot of fun with it ��

- ☀️

IT IS NOT SILLY OMG. I love those little updates 😭 because omg he sounds like such a cutie wtf!!! I literally just giggled imagine it though. He sounds like a man of taste but you are a woman of taste as well for crushing on this gentleman 😏😏😏 but also I'm sorry your pants ripped at work of all places 💀💀💀 my thunder thighs also be doing damage to pants and I never thought it would happen but it has happened...more than once 💀 thankfully at home though so not as bad lmaooo.

BUT AYYYYYY. Development. This is nice. Flirt with him more. Flash some collarbone, the boys love some collarbone action 🤣

As for the hiring manager...DID SHE REPLY TODAY? KEEP ME POSTED I WANT TO KNOWWWWWW. Sometimes it's a hectic day so that's okay. Fingers crossed for you bby!!! 🤞🏼🤞🏼

And I did! It went really well but unfortunately, the pay was too long and they didn't budge on it so I declined. Can't have yo girl going backward but honestly, idk what else I plan to do. There's another position up for grabs and I'm debating on doing an interview or not but I want more information. I kinda want something quiet on the administrative side of things so we'll see! I'm considering pivoting from education to HR but am unsure if it'll be the right fit! We'll see what happens haha!

thank you for sharing with me darling!!! I love hearing your news!! keep me posted!!

#girlbossed too close to the sun ‘nonnie #'nonnie #gigi's tea time #asks

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yyxgin · 4 years

Text

A SONG REQUEST

"with you, feel like summer."

~ where you always listen to the same radio station and he lives in the apartment complex opposite of yours. perhaps you play your radio a little too loud on sundays.

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: romance (fluff and a hint of angst I guess)

words: 2.3k

warnings: reader's a little sad in one part of the story,, also I don’t actually know that pancake song but I googled the lyrics and they’re nice lmao

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What is your song request, young man?“ you hear the smooth, honey voice calling from the radio.

You are currently sitting in your kitchen, eating your delicious lunch you've made yourself from the last bits stored in your fridge, hapilly watching people walk the street under your open window. The street is narrow, because the other apartement complex stands right in front of your window, but there's still plenty of people there as it's a short cut for people rushing to work.

„Hello! I'd like to request a song for this one girl who's always playing her radio super loud every sunday at this time. I'm pretty sure she's listening right now and eating her scrambled eggs.“ you hear other voice say. Perhaps you could say it sounded even more pleasent than the radio host's, but you swear to be faithful to the one and only Min Yoongi.

You look back to your plate of scrabled eggs and laugh. How ironic, it sounds just like you. Maybe that girl is your soulmate and you were destined to meet some day.

„Is there something you'd like to say to this girl?“ asks Yoongi, voice curious.

„Yeah, um.. No offence, but could you maybe turn it down a little? I live right opposite of you and it's slowly getting on my nerves.“ you hear and laugh out loud.

„Also, could you maybe look out your window to see me instead of laughing?“ his voice changes into irritated, but playful at the same time.

Out of curiosity, you look out your window as if the guy was talking to you to see a young man standing in the window opposide of yours with a phone pressed to his ear. You see him smirk and wave at you, making your heart jump.

„What song would you like me to play?“ asks Yoongi again as your eyes never leave the boy in the window.

„Could you maybe play Blueprint by Stray Kids? She seems to enjoy their music a lot.“ he giggles and your mind takes you back to all the times you've danced in your kitchen to their songs, singing your heart out. You suddenly feel red in your cheeks.

„Coming right at you! Did you hear him girl? Tone it down a little! But only after listening to this song requested only and only for you.“ Yoongi's voice slowly trails off as the first tones of the song start playing, making you feel excited in your bones.

The boy only stares at you for a second before he slowly turns around with a huge smile and dissapeaes further into his own apartment.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What is your song request?“

It's sunday and you're sitting in your kitchen eating lunch with your windows open and your radio on full volume again. You feel good, happy, even. The weather got warmer and it finally feels like summer.

„Hi! I'd like to request a song for the girl blasting her radio again, because it seems she didn't learn her lesson from last week!“ you hear a familiar voice call out, making you snap your head and look out your window.

„Poor girl! Well, could you blame her? At least she's having fun. What song are we playing for her?“

„I think she hates metal music, so I'm requesting Enter Sandman by Metallica, hope she turns it down this time.“ he laughs and you see him smile in the window. His plan is evil, but he sure does not look evil at all. His smile could light up the world and you swear you feel your lips turn upwards to mirror his.

„Here you go then! Girl in the window, don't dissapoint the poor boy again!“ you hear Yoongi say and you face palm as you see the boy put a winning fist up in the air.

But to tease him even more, you don't turn down the music. You stand up and dance along instead, your whole performance being watched by a smiling boy with sparkling eyes in the window opposite of yours.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! May I ask your song request?“

„Hey! It's me again, I'm calling for the third time in a row now. I'd like to request a song for the girl in the window, like always. It seems that this is our only way of communication because I'm not going to act like Taylor Swift in that one music video, if you know what I mean, but I'd like to tell her that her pancakes are burning.“ a familiar voice says and you panic.

You've been so immersed in the music, you haven't noticed that in a few moments, your whole kitchen could be on fire because you've forgotten about your pancake.

You swiftly take a spatchula and flip the pancake, face palming yourself in the process and giggling a little at the black color of the pancake. You surely aren't going to eat this one.

„Girl! Be more careful while cooking, I know our music occupies your mind a lot, but make sure this poor boy doesn't have to call fire-fighters instead. Anyways, what song are we playing for the nifty girl?“ Yoongi's voice is full of enthusiasm and joy, it seems like he enjoys the ever occuring calls he gets from the boy every sunday.

„Let's play her Banana pancakes by Jack Johnson, so she doesn'g forget about hers again,“ he snickers and you feel your cheeks burning a little again.

The song starts after a while and you can't help but smile the whole time as you're making your pancakes, making sure not to burn any more of them, not knowingly being watched by the boy matching your food choice in the window opposite of yours.

You're pacing in your kitchen, changing your clothes every few minutes. The radio is loudly playing, but you're hardly paying any attention to it with the fragile mental stabillity you're in right now.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What is your song request today?“

„Hi! It's me again. I'd like to say something to the girl in the window. Umm.. I don't know where you're going, but you look beautiful so please stop worrying and changing every few minutes.“ he softly laughs and makes you stop in your tracks.

You slowly look out of the window and see him there, in gray sweatpants and a black over-sized t-shirt. He's holding a coffe cup in one hand and his phone in the other, but his gaze is focused only on you.

„You hear him, girl? Stop worrying. But what if she's going on a date, though?“ asks Yoongi and you feel your cheeks burning as if you were caught.

„I hope she has fun, then!“ he says and you see him smile, but it doesn't really reach his eyes as it always does.

„What song are you requesting for her?“

„I don't know, man. What makes you beautiful by One direction? It kinda fits the mood right now.“ he cracks up and his eyes crincle at the corners along with his nose, making him look like an adorable bunny.

„One direction it is. Have fun, girl!“ you hear Yoongi say and even if you were supposed to leave right now, you don't. You stay in your kitchen and listen to the song the sweet boy requested for you, because there's just something about him that makes you want to stay.

After the song ends, you leave. You don't see the boy silently watching your steps through the window.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What song may I play for you?“

You quietly listen to the radio and watch people with blurry eyes. It's raining and everyone's running home with umbrellas over their heads. You slowly move your gaze at the glass of wine you're holding in your hands and finish it.

„Hey Yoongi, it's me again. I'd like to request for the girl in the window, because she seems a little sad today. I don't know what happened, but I want to cheer her up a little.“

„I'm so sorry to hear that. What song are we playing for her?“

„It's Promise by Park Jimin. This song means a lot to me and I hope she'll feel a little better after hearing it.“ he mumbles.

„Cheer up, girl from the window!“ says Yoongi before the music starts.

The sound of rain blends a little with the words of the song, but you don't dare to look at him through the window as your sobs only pick on their intensity. You clench the empty glass of wine in your hands and helplessly try to catch air.

But when you finally stop after a while and look out the window, you see his face in the dark apartment, still watching you. You snicker at the realisation that this poor boy cares more about you than the guy you went on a date with last week ever did.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What can I play for you?“

„Hey! It's me again!“

„Hey! Is the girl from the window feeling any better?“ asks Yoongi and you feel your lips quietly turn into a smile.

„I hope she is! Anyways, I'm requesting a song for her today because I just felt like it, you know. I have nothing on my mind right now that I want to say to her, just that I'll enjoy the song with her.“ he says and you look out the window to see him already standing there.

„What song is it than?“

„It's Fancy by TWICE. I hope you dance with me, window girl!“

The song starts playing and you see him slowly start moving into the rythm as he begins to dance. His dance moves are really silly and you can't help but mirror them as you giggle at him.

The tones of the music are so carefree and you feel like you never want to stop dancing. With him.

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What is your song request today?“

„Hey! It's me again. It's the last time I'm going to call, I promise.“ your breath hitches upon hearing these words.

„And why is that?“ even Yoongi sounds a little sad to lose his stable caller.

„Well, you see… I kinda have a crush on the girl from the window and I can't stop thinking about her recently, so I'm shooting my shot today. I know you're listening, so, if you wanna, we can meet in front of your apartment complex. And maybe go for a lunch. If you want…“ he trails off and your heart picks up on speed.

„This is so sweet of you! I'm glad I can be the help to pass the message. What song are we playing as the last one from your journey?“

„It's Our Summer by Tomorrow x Together, because when I see her, it truly feels like summer every time.“ he softly laughs.

„Okay! So, the girl from the window, we know you're listening! You have an only chance to meet your admirer, so after the song ends, don't waste any time in running out of your apartment complex and meet him!“ says Yoongi and the song softly starts playing.

„I'm glad I could witness this romance bloom, kids.“ you hear him fake-crying as his voice dissapears entirely and the song plays on full volume.

Any other time, you wouldn't leave without listening to the song the boy requested for you, but today, you have no time to waste.

You take your keys and run out of the apartment complex only in your flip-flops, not even bothering to turn off the radio. You see him standing there right after you open the glass door.

His smile only grows wider as you cut the short distance and run into him, finding your place right in his arms.

You feel his hands gently squeezing your waist as he puts his head on your shoulder, breathing in your scent.

You hear his muffled voice as the soft tones of the song coming from your window make you feel truly special.

„I'm Jungkook, by the way.“

„Hello! You're listening to Honey FM, this is Min Yoongi, your usual host! What song can I play for you?“

„Hey! My name is is Jungkook and I'd like to request a song for my wonderful girlfriend, because it's our anniversery today.“ you hear the voice of your boyfriend coming from the radio as you watch him in the window waving at you with a huge grin on your face.

„That's wonderful! How did you two guys meet?“ asks Yoongi with curiosity.

„Well, actually, I requested a song for her over here every sunday for a month a year ago.“ explains Jungkook and you can't help but laugh out loud at how ridicilous it sounds.

„Oh my God! Is this for the girl in the window?“ gasps your favorite radio host as the realisation hits him.

„Yes! Do you remember us?“

„Of course! What song can I play for you two?“

„It's the same song as the last time I called, because it was the song I heard while something new and wonderful was only at the beginning. So, I'd like to hear Our Summer by TXT again.“

„Sure! Any other words you'd like to say to your girlfriend?“

„Yeah… Y/N, I love you! And don't forget to be out in 5 minutes so we can leave for our lunch." he giggles as the song starts and you can no longer deny it, the boy from the window truly cares for you the most.

#bts fanfic #bts au #bts fic #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts angst #bts drabble #bts scenario #bts reaction #bts blurb #jungkook au #jungkook fanfic #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario #jungkook drabble #jungkook reaction

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dragynkeep · 3 years

Note

Guys the cringe I'm feeling, a few years ago while at community college I took a winter class called history of rock. I just needed a good grade and a few more credits before transferring and we got to make our final presentation on an artist and song of our choice.

And like the fool I am now I chose a rwby song. I think it was bad luck charm because the episode with the song just dropped around that time. Good news I got a good grade and passed that class. But I now I have to live with that.

Side note I'm hilariously taking another winter class at the same community college but this time for grad school. I've been dealing with the headache of not being able to log into the class and about had an aneurysm cause the first assignments were already posted but I couldn't access it. It's resolved now so I'll just read over the emails sent out and do the readings later today.

I know this was me semi exposing myself for silly rwby stuff but I'd like to say fuck you grad school for making me spend more money to retake classes I already have a degree for juuuuuuust because to them a c isn't enough. Grades only matter in school not real life but who the fuck cares about that right? Haha sorry this got all rambly I've been up since 6 am and the adrenaline of stress is finally wearing off.

i am so sorry for the memory that will haunt you all your days —

but oh my god i felt this grad school pain because this was legitimately me for my first week of uni & i almost gave up right then & there tbh. it was so stressful, i had no idea what i was doing & it drove my anxiety into overdrive to the point i had a meltdown alone in the library my first day. it did get much better after that however lmao & i hope people reading this don’t take it as demoralizing. things like this will always happen in your adult life whether in uni, your job, etc; what’s important is to see it through & not just freeze / give up.

also yikes that’s incredibly shitty of the system to force that retake, especially having to spend more money to do so. obviously there’s a baseline to be met but a lot of people have a lot of issues with standardized testing & honestly, imo the whole system needs reforming but that’s a rant for another day. sorry this took so long & i hope things are working out better for you! ❤

#owl.txt #answered #q

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marialenikiforov · 4 years

Text

Daisuzu Snippet 💴⛸️💕

Hey Daisuzu gang! This came out as a silly thought inspired by some of my wife's art @geniusmeemee (please convince her of posting it here). I hope you enjoy it :)

Now that Daisuke and Suzue have less to worry about, Suzue decides to follow up a childhood dream of hers. As her fiancé, Daisuke supports her and makes sure that no one gets in the way.

Sometimes it was hard for Daisuke Kambe to understand his fiancé. Suzue continued to be a box full of surprises. Since the two were younger he found himself accompanying a mesmerized Suzue countless times while she watched figure skating competitions on their huge TV screen.

---

"Look! She landed a triple Axel!" Suzue said excitedly as a Russian lady received applauses.

As usual, Daisuke stayed in silence and simply nodded, not being too able to understand the excitement of the girl beside him.

---

He could even remember the happy grin on her face when his grandma gave her a pair of skating boots during one of the many Christmas they shared.

Daisuke thought it was only a silly hobby of her, so he never expected to find himself standing at rink side right next to Yakov Feltsman who apparently was one of the best coaches in the world. Only the best for Suzue, of course, since he was her only sponsor.

It happened after those vacations she had by herself, maybe she found herself with extra free time, Daisuke still couldn't understand.

---

"Daisuke-sama, I want to take professional figure skating classes." Suzue said nervously during the dinner they shared when she came back. "Of course this won't interfere with my duties. I will keep working for you as I have always done."

Daisuke blinked once, twice, trying to process this crazy request.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

Suzue nodded a few times. A blush was visible on her cheeks, but she still had that fierceful look on her face.

"All right." He simply answered, much to Suzue's excitement.

---

Suzue looked beautiful as she spun on the ice with her eyes closed. Her hair was tied up on a ponytail with some rebel hairs falling at the sides of her face. She looked so happy on her new costume, of course Daisuke made sure to hire the best designer for her.

"KAMBE! Your back is not straight! and what was that sloppy double!?" The almost bald coach yelled.

Suzue looked back and Daisuke was able to see that almost disappointed look on her face. He didn't like him one bit. Who did this man thought he was? No one could make Suzue feel like that.

"I'm sorry, I will do it again sir." She said calmly and took back her starting position.

Daisuke narrowed his eyes and looked at the old man with disdain. He still looked like he was smelling shit.

"YOUR LEG! How many times do I have to repeat this?!" Yakov yelled again. "This girl I swear- not even Mila gives me this kind of troubles. She's just too old for this, she can't do triples. Her back isn't trained for this." He said in a lower voice, making notes to himself.

Daisuke felt the anger rising within himself, his usually calm and composed demeanor had switch. He looked visibly pissed.

"How much?" He asked, taking Yakov by surprise. The latter was a few inches taller than him but he didn't feel intimidated by it.

"What?" Yakov groaned.

Daisuke took a wad of cash from his wallet and slapped the Russian with it.

"How much do you want to stop yelling at my fiancé?"

Yakov was too taken aback by the gesture. Not even Victor Nikiforov had ever done something like that.

"I'm paying you to coach her. Not to scream at her. Should I find someone that can do the job without yelling at her?"

----

Daisuke helped Suzue into her coat after she got changed into her usual clothes.

"Coach Yakov seemed different today." Suzue commented as they walked out of the building and made their way down the stone steps. "Did you hear something while you watched the practice?"

Daisuke had a smug grin on his face as he offered her his arm to take.

"Nothing to worry about. I'm sure he will behave from now on."

*********

I hope you guys enjoyed it.😁

I just copy-pasted the users on @kannra21 posts so feel free to ignore this lmao.

@daisuzuship @innovativestruggles @narcopharmacist @unholysoggytea @riaymei @ieatcrumbs @cow-goes-oof @matchabucks @bluegleeful @levi-is-heicho @kakooshi @kokorokai @darknessrxse @fluffyyagiza @geniusmeemee @sungmnnnn @koalarin @alstroemerie @petiamaximoff38 @hellohellokookie @kannra21 @milcyuw

#daisuzu #daisuzue #daisuke kambe #suzue kambe #fkbul #fugou keiji daisuke #fugou keiji suzue

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the-mf-bread-babies · 4 years

Text

loneliness </\///\|/3

a fic by rocco wulfram north, m.d.

(found that name on hardcore baby names)

–chmapter jop–

before the tríp

It was a normal day for the Skullsmashers: go to somewhere, kill people, be gay, sleep, get brunch. Right now was the first part of their daily routine, and they were getting ready for it.

“holy fuck nova could you hurry the shit up i have to brush my fucking teeth you bitch” Ace hissed, knocking repeatedly on the bathroom door. “Fuck You. I'm Going To Go To Hell Itself” Nova gargled back, mouth full of mouthwash. More banging was heard; the door had seen better days.

Several feet away was Jake, all dressed up and ready to go, waiting for the others to get ready. He sat on the couch gayly in the living room down the hall, scrolling through Apocalypse Twitter. ‘every day i throw down an unpeeled boiled egg from the rooftop to simulate fear and unreadiness’ he read, a tweet from Orc's account. What the fuck. Classic Orc.

“ah fuck !! am i late !!” Jake turned around to see Damon panicking and counting the daggers in his pockets. “no no not at all. i just get ready really quickly to throw everyone into a state of disarray” Jake replied in an honest, monotone voice. “come sit down”

Damon sat down nervously next to his captain, knowing he'll ask him for Bambi on the PS2 now. “look. look at them those dumbshits” Jake uttered, pointing to Ace and Nova arguing. “those little bastards are completely unaware that ive put a fake cockroach puppet in the mirror. watch now” he added, pulling out a cheap remote control and pressing a button.

*sound of glass breaking* Jake sighed. “okay maybe that wasn't really the best idea” Nova screamed, running out of the bathroom and confusing Ace. “Fucking Roach!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she yelled, already too far away from them to be heard clearly. “huh. well okay then!” Ace grinned, going into the bathroom.

“i'll guard. you do your thing okay? :-)” Damon said to Jake, smiling mischievously. Jake's heart skipped a beat as he was suddenly flustered by the killer's action. «oh god, shit's just gonna get more complicated from here» he thought, staring into nothingness.

Damon braced himself against the bathroom door, eager to hear Ace's chaotic screaming. “ready ??” Damon asked, sending Jake back to the real world. “hhuh??????? oh yea right” he mumbled before beginning to control the cockroach with the remote. “this shit cost me like 200 bucks so it better be worth it”

HOLY MOTHER OF

F U C K

JAKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

WHAT THE S H IT DUDE

ace will remember this.

Jake cackled loudly, rolling on the floor and hitting the table with his fist. “LMAOOOOK FUCK YOUUU” he yelled, angering Ace even more. “I WILL GODDAMN SKIN UOUR FUCKIGN ISTINEDSTINES OLD MAN I SWEAR TKC FUCKF” they yelled back, pushing the door repeatedly. “IM GOIND TO FUCKIGN DIR HERE YOU BITCH”

“ah . ace ? could you move a little please ? i'm trying to get in ?” Damon said annoyingly kindly, making Ace jab a fake knife through the space between the door and the doorway. “THIS IS THE BEST FUCKIGN KNIFE I HAVE ON ME RIGT NOW BUT PLEADR JSUT FUCK O F F”

“hm ... i'll have to check in with the blacksmith today to know what this one's worth... possibly rusted here, though.... could also just be dirt tho.....” Damon mumbled, examining the knife. “FUCKING HEL P” Ace yelled in distress, his breath seeping through the door. “ace. brush your fucking teeth that's disgusting.”

“IM FUCKIF D TRYINF THERES JUST A FUCKGIFN ROSCH HEREERF” Ace explained fearfully, trying their best to get some pity from the other. “a what ?? don't think we have those here” “A FUCKIFN COKROSKC” “corrosion ???? how bad” “FUCK YOU A GODDMAND COKCROACH” “girls?? what?? are they milfs??” “HOW THEE DFUCKDB DID YEOU HEAR FTHAY WHATS DUCUNESKRHI”

Jake's hand slapped against Damon's shoulder as a way of saying thanks. “good work out there soldier. us skullsmashers really need someone like you damon” He said confidently, disguising his flirting as a compliment. “cool !! you too man !!” The shorter man replied, completely unaware of the flirting and continuing to yearn for the mutual love between him and Jake. fuckin idiots lmao

“alrighty fuckers, let's move!”

Rachel's voice sent Ace and Nova into a panic, making them scram to look for their weapons and equipment. “Got everything ya need? W'ain't makin' any stops; tryin'a save fuel.” Shaw asked, leaning against the wall at the entrance menacingly. “When the fuck did you even come here.” Dennis asked in surprise, carrying suitcases. “Hmph. Man never tells his secrets, young man.” She replied, tilting her cowboy hat. “What…”

Aaron was sitting peacefully in the trunk of a pickup truck they had, only to be met by a large backpack to the face. “ah!!!!!!!! very sorry!!!!!!! we'll be going in separate vehicles, and trunk space is very much needed!!!!!!!!” Whitney said, apologizing. “Ah. Well. O-okay then.” Aaron stuttered out, holding back tears from the painful impact the backpack had. Pretty sure he'll get a bruise from that.

Henderson and Rachel were waiting in the front seats of yet another pickup truck. To pass the time, they took very cringey pictures of each other pretending to be on Cowboy TikTok™. “Do one where you're pregnant with the truck's baby!” Henderson suggested, making Rachel flip the bird at her but begrudgingly agreeing with her stupid idea. “i literally would skin you alive.” She spat out, putting a pumpkin inside her shirt. “That's… literally so sexy, babe.” Henderson replied back, taking more pictures.

Meanwhile, Andre was busy explaining to Cyprus, who was in a small glass jar, that forcibly entering Damon's bloodstream and mutilating his entire body was not very nice, with Orc and Sarah judging. “YES BUT UNLIMITED POWER COULD BE RIGHT IN OUR HANDS ANDRE” “That'd very mean of you to do, and could actually probably kill you too in the process.” he explained to deaf ears. Well, technically no ears. Yet. “CYPRUS I KNOW IT SOUNDS STUPID BUT YOU COULD LITERALLY DO THE SAME BUT LIKE IN AN ELEPHANTS BODY DUDE” Orc suggested, only to be ignored. “cmon cyprus just pleaaaaase dont kill ppl ok”

Jake looked outside, then back at Damon. “well guess its time to move!” “yea ... but at what cost.” Damon replied confusingly, making a sad face. “did you know today is…” he started, then regretted saying anything. “nvm…” He turned away from the punk, sniffling and walking to Dennis and Aaron.

“damon” “??” Jake asked quietly, craning his neck a little before making the decision to leave the new recruit alone. Instead, he joined Henderson and Rachel in their odd activities.

“hey guys. i fucking miss sans.” Damon confessed, taking a seat next to Dennis. “My nose is bleeding.” Aaron pointed out. “ok. today's sunday. and you Know what That Means… Meant,” The boy continued, facing the ground. “Kanye West he…” Dennis began (begun???? idk). “… liked.” Aaron continued, also affected emotionally by the departure of not only Sans, but Komaeda too.

Jake stared longingly at the family, wishing he was a part of it too. He truly felt Ariel Little Mermaid's desire to become human. Seven Vagánias… that was a risk he was willing to take for him. He would shave his eyebrows off for that man, and he just might do it right now.

“Jake? Don't do that. Please don't fucking do that.” Henderson suddenly interrupted, surprising Jake. “do what” Henderson squinted her eyes, giving Jake a suspicious look. “That's the face you make when you want to do silly things…” She pointed out.

“You had that when you almost electrocuted yourself at that stable, you had that when you threw the dart at Scoran, you had that when you glued Marcus and Reese–” “OKAY OKAY I GET IT IM A DUMMY SILLY LITTLE BITCH BOY OK”

Rachel put the pumpkin back on the ground and went to the two friends, curious to know what the quarrel was about. “what's poppin gayboy!” She loudly asked, slapping Jake's forearm strongly. “i am in peril and shaking and crying” “daddy issues” “yget?” He explained, gesturing towards the Russells.

“ah. please clarify what kind.” Rachel said, knowing Jake has a very questionable taste for fictional middle-aged men, such as Sigma Overwatch and the guy from the cowboy game. “the fuckin. family one rachel” “look at em just vibing and simply being gay”

Rachel and Henderson gave eachother a look that questioned whether Damon and Jake were going to be a thing or not, since Jake's technically still with Andre. “Considering the fact that they adopted Damon, they could probably also adopt you if you wanted to.” Henderson suggested, knowing Jake wouldn't like this and would stupidly unknowingly accidentally confess his love for Damon to them both right then and there.

“what?????” “ew no thatd be fuckin incest or some shit what the fuck” Jake said, being grossed out. “what would be the incestuous part, jacon. we did not say or hint at anything related to incest.” Rachel asked, making Jake's hair stand up in panic. “fuCKIN NOTHING DUH” “BUT LIKE YKNOW I GET CRUSHES REALLY EASILY YEA??????” Jake explained weirdly.

“So there's a new one right now, huh…” Henderson asked… feeling like she was in Ace Attorney. “no!!!! no wait” “well yea– no.. but i–” “fuck You but yes” Jake grumbled. “ah no, we won't tell, obviously. it was just getting way too obvious, so we just wanted to hear it from both sides.” “WH” Rachel said mysteriously, getting into the driver's seat of the pickup truck. “okay guys let's go!!” She yelled out, starting the engine. “THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN??????” “BOTH SIDES???”

chapter dos

two four trucks

The journey to god knows fuckin where idk didn't plan i guess a fuckin cabin or smth idk was long and torturous, especially when Rachel said that cryptic-ass thing before going. What the fuck was that supposed to mean, bro.

sudden interlude for seating arrangements !!

truck 1: Henderson, rachel, whitney, CYPRUS

truck 2: jake, damon, marge, Andre, Aaron

truck 3: ace, Nova, Dennis

truck 4: sarah, ORC, Shaw, viper

truck two.

Jake awkwardly patted Marge's head in the backseat of the truck, avoiding eye contact with Damon and Andre. Of course he had to go on a three-day trip in the same car with his ex, his crush, AND his crush's father. God, he was pretty sure this was the lab rats' doing.

“cows.” Damon pointed outside, earning Andre's attention. “Holy– what are those?” He asked, taking his sunglasses off to admire the beautiful little cows. “Cows… we drink their milk and wear their skin as jackets…” Aaron explained, his eyes drifting from the road momentarily. “They can have best friends and stuff. Really nice guys. Also, they're expensive as hell.”

“Y–You do what. Their skin??” Andre asked, his voice a pitch higher than usual. “yeah and we rate them based on which layer it is. also, like their meat, expensive as hell. but still very cool.” Damon said, confusing Andre even more. “they also give us cheese and ice cream and whipped cream and stuff. underrated little babies. they deserve better.” “they also have nose rings which are punk as hell–”

“Wait, why the nose– cheese?! Cheese?! AND ice cream??!” Andre asked again, his mind attempting to comprehend the greatness that cows are. “Oh man, you are not ready to hear about pigs.” Aaron said jokingly. “What the fuck are pigs???” “Sausages, ham slices, bacon, lard, leather too, rotisserie–” “aaron please i'm gonna throw up.” “Oh, right. Sorry,”

Jake sat quietly in his seat, just now realising how much of his world Andre's missing. Sure, his world was much cooler, but do they have sheep? Palm trees? Penguins? Thought not, bitch. “andre do you know what a kangaroo is” He asked, breaking his silence like that one YouTuber.

“A what?” “kangaroo. some of them are buff as shit and they move by hopping. they cant hop backwards and they also keep their babies in little pouches attached to them and their bones and guts are exposed on the inside of said pouch. baby kangaroos are about the size of a jellybean, and the adults can box you”

“They what” “yea they're weird as fuck.” “its from australia so” “That sounds fake.” “oh man. wombats bro. quokkas. fuckin drop bears and flying foxes. PLATYPUSES!!!” “wombats poop in cubes and quokkas are always smiling” “Koala bears hold onto tree branches and eat their mom's shit, which is the leaves of said tree branches.” “Please stop what the fuck” “ohoho fucking GEESE” “GET IM JAKE MY NEIGHBOR HAD FUCKIN THREE OF THOSE BITCHES”

truck three.

The three sat silently, with the exception of Dennis, who was swearing at random times. “You call that a fuckin’ turn, old man?! HUH?!!” Ace's shoulders jumped, the sudden exclamations preventing them from sleeping through the trip. “This Is Probably The Last Time We'll See Each Other Alive.” Nova stated calmly. “i slept for like two minutes last night… didn't even get to wear conditioner today. unrelated but just sharing my struggles with you.” Ace said, shifting into a more comfortable sleeping position.

Dennis overheard the two talking, and opted to stay quiet for the rest of the trip, before stumbling across a strange sight. “FROG!!!” he yelled, waking up the duo. “he said fuck! he said the f” Ace yelled out while rubbing their eyes. “Are We Aliven't” Nova asked, stretching. “Sadly, no, but the good news is, I found a frog!” Dennis excitedly said, opening the car door.

“WHAT” “THAT SHITS GONNA POISON US WHAT THE FUCK” Nova yelled out, unfortunately not loud enough for Dennis to hear it. The man kept walking towards the creature that was technically an alien to them, and picked it up with watery hands. “DENNIS YOU'RE GONNA FUCKING KILL US ALL!!!!!!! DENNIS!!!!!!”

“So, you kids know how to handle a frog?” Dennis asked in a wholesome tone, alerting the two even more. “KILL IT KILL IT FUCKING KILL IT” “Oh, are you guys allergic to this little guy? Sorry, I'll put it in the dashboard instead.” “GET ITBOUT WHAT THE FUCK DENNID JESUS” “… Huh?” “POSIOJ DART FOGR” Nova shouted, hiding behind the passenger seat and being pushed by Ace, who was also going to hide there. “BITCH”

Dennis and the frog stared at them in confusion, hearing their horrified screams. “This is… a wood frog… not a poison dart… that one would probably die in this climate…” he explained plainly, his hands gently cupping the newfound friend. “oh. ok” Ace muttered quietly, while Nova maintained an awkward silence. “You can… pat them very softly if you want.” Dennis suggested. “Or spray the shit outta them. That could work too.”

Nova nervously held out her hand to pat the frog, then smiled in succeeding to do so. “Death Quivers Before Me” She said, proceeding to pat it even more. “can i do the spray thing.” Ace asked, their voice quiet as a whisper. “Yeah, sure. Go right ahead.”

*the frog was going to die so technically they didnt like fuck up the ecosystem or smth. do not attempt this irl.

truck four.

“What jolly tunes d'ya have on this here truck. Fellas.” Shaw asked, observing the radio. “uh, really, i don't think it'll be necessary!!!!!” Viper nervously said, only to be ignored. “NONSENSE! ONE'S TASTE IN SHANTIES PROVES TO BE A WINDOW INTO THEIR LIVES.” Orc said wisely, patting them on the shoulder. “i guess that's good advice, but really–”

TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. TWO TRUCKS HAVING SEX. MY MUSCLES. MY MUSCLES. INVOLUNTARILY FLEX.

“I SEE. A MATING SONG FOR YOUR SPECIES?” “my truck f### playlist,.,.,.” Viper tried to mute the speaker to no avail as most of the buttons on the control panel were very much broken. “I'm. Very sorry for this, pardner. But this doesn't sound so bad. I could put this in a jukebox…” Shaw consoled, only making them panic more. “im so f#ckig sorry” They said, before smashing the radio with a briefcase.

They all paused for a moment, unsure of what to do. “i have spotify…” Sarah croaked, holding up her phone. “they have lemon demon too, if you want…” She muttered, scrolling through the song choices. “does anyone want to listen to wet a–” “no.” “okay.”

The truck grew even quieter for a while, until Shaw gave a suggestion to pass the time. “Wanna play 20 questions?” “I'll start: how many folks have y'all killed?” Viper gave the assassin a horrified look, confusing her. “I think mine's around 150. No… 145…” She confessed, rubbing her chin. “Wait, or was it 160?”

“like six. do you like girls, and, follow up question, do you also coincidentally like short girls with long hair.” Sarah said without hesitation, stopping Orc from answering the first question. “Yes! I literally have a wife!” Shaw shouted happily, rolling up her sleeves to show Sarah her tattoos. “This one is her setting herself on fire and me getting inspired–” “ah, yes–” “That one was a total cover-up! Previously, it was the names of my exes, all thirteen of them, but now, it's my cat!”

After some time of receiving a bit too much RexShaw lore, Sarah finally got the answer she so desperately needed from Viper. This was the verdict that determines whether she could make a move or not. This answer could change– “i am gay and do not get attracted to women. thank you.” Ah. Back to more hunting. “I am a lesbian! High-five!” Shaw exclaimed.

And finally, the first truck.

truck one.

Loud country music blared in the truck as they drove by the snowy mountains of uhh. Winsnow. Like winter and snow. They had all chosen separate routes in order to cover more land and see if there were any new developments in the area.

“BRANDY!!! FETCH ANOTHER ROUNF!!!!!!” Rachel screeched as she drummed on the dashboard. “AND SHE FJSJS” Henderson kept driving, searching every inch of land for a rest stop to stretch her legs and also listen to something else.

“hendy.” Rachel said, getting her girlfriend's attention. “do you wanna buy that slime that cleans cars and stuff?” Henderson stared into the distance, pondering. “Hm. There's always the possibility of the slime disappearing under mysterious circumstances and turning up in the trash can the next day covered in saliva, so.” Whitney looked away, feeling attacked.

“yeah, that's a problem.” Rachel muttered, her hand instinctually moving to Henderson's. “Please don't crash the car.” She begged, looking sadly at her. “is there a domino's nearby. i heard they have that new peanut butter chocolate lava cake.” Rachel asked, cupping Henderson's face gently.

“Rachel. There's fucking mountains.” Henderson pointed out, gesturing towards their surroundings. “That shit will freeze.” Rachel put her head down in disappointment. “yeah. damn.” “MORE FLESH!!! MORE FLESH!!! MORE FUCKING FLESH!!!”

Oh yeah, Cyprus was here the whole time. “why does the metal say fuck?????” And Whitney too! “MIND YOUR OWN GODDAMN BUSINESS. FLESH NEEDED!” Cyprus yelled out, resembling a hungry toddler on a road trip.

“do you want like a burger or something......” Whitney asked, judging the spirit. “FLESH” “like are you more of a kfc or a mcdonalds guy” “NEED FLESH” She gave the couple a look, one that was kind of undecipherable due to her lack of normal face details like eyebrows, visible pupils, etc.

“So, three peanut butter lava cakes and one meat lover's… what else?” “ah!!!!!! no lava cake for me, i'm on a diet!!!!!! dirt and dirt only!!!!!!!!!!! also fish bones as a treat” Whitney corrected, her eyes searching for a nearby body of water. “Or, we could get Cyprus the fish meat, and Whitney the bones.” “sounds good to me!!!!!!!!” “FLESH”

…

“welcome to domino's! can i get your order?”

“three peanut butter lava cakes, please. that's all. thank you.” Rachel said, her seat switched with Henderson's, who was too nervous to order. “okay but they each take like three hours to make” “what.” “yea you can stop by like the grocery store up ahead” “fuck you for ordering this” “i–” “fuck off”

the grocewy stowe

The truck stopped by the front of the building, Rachel telling them to go in first while she searches for a good parking spot. Much to Henderson's disappointment.

“My lover…” Henderson said with fear in her voice. “it's okay… go along… i… i have to do this for you…” “for you all… i won't forget the good that you've done to me and everyone i've ever known…” “Rach, please don't go, I lo–” “you all are the kindest people… heaven may wait eagerly for you, but as for me, the ground trembles for its latest meal. fresh from the oven, i will enter the furnace…” “why the fuck would they cook you again” “because i'm TOAST!!” “haha”

“Kill Ronald Reagan while you're at it… I forgot which one he is but I'm pretty sure he's a total bitch…” “i will meet you doomguy” “heeeeeeeh” Rachel whined weakly as she slowly drove over to the spot she wanted.

MOTHERFUCKER.

A silver Honda Civic quickly made its way into there, angering the scientist. “not on my watch, fucker.” Rachel muttered, sliding the pickup truck across the road. She slammed her palm onto the car horn, which terrified even a murder of crows.

“huh wonder who that is” “hm anyway which fish do u like ???? :-)”

A woman who seemed to be in her late 40s exited the Honda Civic, throwing a rather large and flashy boa around her neck. “Jesús, ít's cold in hère,” The lady commented, putting on a pair of expensive-looking sunglasses. “Márie, come along, ma cheghhy!” (i forgot how to spell it)

oh, son of a B I T C H .

it's the french lady who smells weird.

Of course, seeing your enemy in any circumstance that wasn't planned was clearly a little scary and will probably be your last day alive, but bumping into them at a Target was kinda… awkward.

Both the hazelnut and the dolphin were less armed and armoured than usual, and there weren't any bodyguards or security. Usually, if a top leader goes anywhere, the standard protocol was to do thirty separate background checks on the location and have it guarded up somewhere in the three months before their arrival.

So, obviously, someone in Top 50 driving around town in a decades-old car buying groceries isn't very safe, or probably even legal. Hell, she hasn't even seen them wear anything this ridiculous ever. Could this be a distraction? Or is it an opportunity?

Ah, wait, they're both wearing their stupid little marriage bracelets.

It's the middle of October.

This is their anniversary vacation.

Shit.

in the store

Henderson strolled through the aisles with Whitney at her side, hugging Cyprus's jar. She examined the cereal boxes to make sure they didn't contain any food colouring that could potentially kill her.

Whitney, on the other hand, zoomed over to the meat section, licking her lips at the sight of a raw cod. “cyprus…… do you feel that? the need to devour a being???? the uncontrollable desire for energy that it transcends all laws and regulations placed on mankind?????? the growing hunger for power, one that's so strong it controls your every need????

a natural, primal instinct to become such a brutal being that no one, not even you, recognise yourself anymore. you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel like you want to destroy that, to put yourself onto the pedestal you belong on, to wreak havoc on the cosmos of all beings, living and dead, real and mythical, walking and extinct.

you know that you're the only who understands this instinct, the only one who follows it to this distance. everyone else may underestimate you, but in the end, you'll rise above them all. man's natural instinct is to become the ruler of all.”

“What the fuck, Whitney. Anyway, I talked to the deli guy and he said he could pay you to eat up some scraps if you want. You down?” Henderson asked, her trolley already full of snacks. “yea fuck it man” Whitney replied, walking over to the ‘staff only’ door. “im hungy as fuck”

parking lot.

Despite the growing need to kill the woman, Rachel was managing to control herself. Even though this was the perfect opportunity to eliminate one of them, she knows she'll be replaced by someone much crueler. So for now, she'll just stick to watching this lady consider which can of tomato sauce is better than the other.

Rachel parked the truck near the entrance and the Honda Civic. She kept an eye on the couple as she quietly made her way inside through the back door.

“So thàt's when Í saìd, ‘that's not a cactùs, that's a lámp!” Karén playfully said, her hand entwined with her wife's. Rachel was unsure whether to stalk the two or join her friends in shopping.

WELL, FIND THAT OUT IN THE NEXT PART,

B I T C H !! !! !!

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