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syoddeye · 3 months

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ill-advised

simon x f! reader | 1165 words cw: simon being a gross creep, terrible advice, slimy internet culture, bad usernames, unsolicited nudes a/n: wrote this silly thing on my phone. lightly edited. been thinking about how simon would be the world's worst agony uncle. enjoy a few easter eggs.

Simon doesn’t have a God complex. No. He leaves that to the Simulation 5 streamers who build complicated dungeons beneath their character’s cottages, forcing others to labor on paintings or crochet projects to sell and support their captor’s livelihood. Not that he…watches those. No, no. He’s simply seen more than his fair share of depravity. Some of it at his expense, some at others, and more than a chunk of it dealt by his own two hands. He knows how the world works. How people work. He knows his shit, plain and simple.

So when his schedule allows, he logs on after midnight. His username and password are two alphanumeric strings, but people recognize the cluster of digits and letters. Wait for his comments. Follow his account. Send him stupid digital gifts, some useless currency to dress up his default icon. The amount increases daily, as does his following. His own little cult.

He doesn’t care about the numbers. Not really. He just loves dishing out his honest opinion, and nobody’s safe.

AN [Advice Needed] Family forgot to invite me on a trip, expect me to go last minute Hi, it’s like the title says. I (25 M) live across the country from my parents, siblings (all all adults), nieces, and nephews. I am the only one who lives on this coast, but I try to visit twice a year. I recently reached out to my brother to see when he thinks I should come visit in June and suggested some dates. I know it’s only February, but I want to save money on airfare. He responded: “Isn’t that when we’re going to Hawaii???” It was the first I heard of it. It turns out my parents invited my siblings to Hawaii and planned a family vacation without me. I confronted my parents about it, they swore they invited me too then said I could send them my share of the bill for the resort and book a flight. Like it’s no big deal. I can’t afford to go and I don’t want to go, but I feel really pressured. And sad! They forgot me! Who am I, Kevin McAllister?

> 35J0G39GH6: Find out the resort name. Cancel the reservations. Cease contact.

Within seconds, a dozen upvotes. A minute later, a hundred. Up, up, up. And the replies? Oh, the replies. He smirks at the cracked phone screen.

>> michaelEthelcaine: Fucking brutal as always >> c0y0t3fug1y: LMAO it’s this simple OP - this dude is never wrong >> patcemetery79: I DID THIS BACK IN 2003 FOR A FAMILY REUNION. A REAL RIOT! HAVEN’T BEEN INVITED TO ONE SINCE@ HILARIOUS!!!!!! I LOVE YOU 35J

Simon receives a fair share of downvotes, too. Negative comments. He doesn’t give a shit, but some of them are fucking hilarious.

>> grasshopperwhirlpool: Not funny. Be better than this asshole, OP. I’m sure it was a simple mistake. >> thewildrumpussy: really mature advice. who shit in your coffee?

Every few weeks, a morally righteous do-gooder encourages people to mass-report him, and he gets a slap on the wrist. The idiots come out in droves after some of his more choice replies, like worms after a heavy rain. The most recent offense?

AN [Advice Needed] My husband (35 M) forgot my (33 F) birthday My husband of three years forgot my birthday. No flowers, cake, or gifts. When I came home from work he asked about dinner. I lost it, turned around, and left. I’m at my sister’s house now (and she started baking when I called and told her what happened!) but he won’t stop blowing up my phone. He says it’s because he’s been so busy but here’s the thing: he forgot last year too. I really love him but I’m tired of this treatment.

> 35J0G39GH6: Have your friend take you home between 3-4 AM. Cut his brake lines. Go back to her place. Wait for the inevitable.

>> 6polyesterbutthole9: i dont care if this is illegal its funny af >> passtheaggression: Hand to god, you need your own forum dude. >> gordonramsme55: Where are the mods on this??? This shit is going to get someone killed. Report this psycho. >>> puffalo: Agreed I think this breaks Rules 3 & 5, reporting now >> austrianPrincess: not saying i did this but when my boyfriend’s brakes failed, i got a big check, OP! >>> gordonramsme55: This is what I’m talking about! >>> 6polyesterbutthole9: get that check >> tech60nyneme: WOW someone check this guy’s crawlspace. reported and blocked

That one earns him the most severe ‘punishment’ yet: A month-long commenting ban. No skin off his nose, he's deployed days later, anyway. If anything, the radio silence winds his followers up, their excitement a palpable thing when he gets out of forum jail. He rewards them with another series of blunt, to-the-point pieces of advice.

His absence makes one particular fan particularly hungry, and a little desperate.

He’s no stranger to unsolicited dick and cleavage pics from his followers. They flood his inbox, giving him a side hobby of delivering pithy degradation the sick fucks seem to love. Saves the best for his private collection.

But then he gets a picture from some cute thing with a comment about him being her favorite person on the Internet. Knelt all sweet in front of her mirror, haloed by a ring light, white lace barely hiding the goods. His eyes snap to her tits—where his ridiculous username is scrawled in sharpie. There’s nothing to critique except maybe the laundry in the background of the shot. Tugs his cock to it, then clicks her username to check her comment history, and wouldn’t you know. Her location is public on her profile. She’s a couple hours away from her idol and doesn’t even know it.

>> 35J0G39GH6: Perfection. >> YN10282022: Oh my god, I didn’t think you’d reply. >> YN10282022: You know, a few months ago, you gave me good advice about my creepy boss. >> YN10282022: I posted about the stuff he’d say to me. >> YN10282022: It took some time, but I was able to record him. Sent it over to his wife on their anniversary. When he accused me, I told him HR was getting the next copy. >> YN10282022: I got a promotion and a raise, and sent the file anyway. >> 35J0G39GH6: Good girl. >> 35J0G39GH6: I’ll be in your neck of the woods in a week for work. >> YN10282022: Really?? I’d love to meet up! >> 35J0G39GH6: Probably shouldn’t. I’d advise you against meeting me. >> YN10282022: They do say you should never meet your heroes. :) >> 35J0G39GH6: Shouldn’t meet strangers off the Internet, either.

She still sends him the address of a cafe. It matches one he finds on her social media an hour later. She seems to be a frequent customer. Simon grins at his screen, the sole light source in his dark room. He taps back to her pretty picture.

She looks like an angel.

#ghost x reader #ghost x f!reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x f!reader #i don't know what this is either #patented creepy ghost ending #because i am on a roll with those #mind the tags

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libraryofgage · 8 months

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Life in Miniature (One)

Part of: Steve Deserves Good Parents, Actually Debbie and Fester Addams One | Two | Three Rick and Evelyn O'Connell One | Two Harley Quinn One 10th Doctor and Rose One | Two (on the way!) Scooby Gang (there are plans for this one lmao, so plz be patient with me orz) Jedediah and Octavius (from Night at the Museum) One (you're here!)

There will be more Jedtavius in the next parts I promise, I just thought this would be a funner introduction to the AU lmao

I just love those little guy dudes from the museum so much hfjdks and now we get two pairs of them

Also, fun fact, I took Steve's Roman name from, like, an actual king of Rome. The actual sixth king. He seemed like a chill dude.

Anyway, there's a meme at the end and as always, if you see any typos, no you didn't ;)

---------

When Robin took this job as a night guard, she didn't think the previous guard's words about history coming to life at night was, you know, real. She thought it was a joke, a predictable and corny joke, but a joke nonetheless.

But now, after being chased by a T-Rex, getting saved by Theodore Roosevelt, and almost being taken captive by fucking Attila the Hun, Robin thinks this job definitely isn't worth $16.50 an hour. Then again, this is the best paying job she's had in a while, and she was living a nocturnal life anyway.

Robin groans, leaning against a wall in the diorama exhibit, and slides down to the floor. She lets her head fall back against the wall, her eyes slipping shut as she slides. "This is crazy. This is insane. I need to find a fucking weapon or something," she mutters.

"Pardon me," comes a voice close to her head, "but might you be the goddess Diana?"

As pick-up lines go, it's not the worst one she's heard. And, based on what she knows of Greek and Roman deities, it wouldn't be too far off. Still, she does not want to be hit on by whatever weird historical thing is trying to flirt with her.

Robin takes a deep breath, opens her eyes, and says, "Do I look like a goddess to you?"

She looks to her left where the voice came from, blinking when her gaze falls on a figurine that would barely reach her ankle. He's dressed in a toga with a chest plate, wrist guards, a sword on his waist, and a deep purple cape over his shoulders. His hair is, honestly, the most impressive thing Robin has ever seen, made only more impressive by the golden laurels resting perfectly against his temples.

He's looking at her with wide eyes, more awed than anything else. "Yes," he says. "I have heard the gods are larger than life."

Okay. Fair.

"Why Diana, man?" Robin asks.

He tilts his head, studying her for a moment, looking her up and down. "You give me the same feeling as statues of Noble Diana with her Huntresses," he explains, pausing for a moment before adding, "A feeling of kinship, perhaps?"

Oh. This...this is like ancient Roman gaydar, right? Robin snorts and turns, resting her elbow on her knee. "I'm definitely not Diana. My name is Robin. I'm the new night guard."

His eyes brighten some, his smile growing wider and certainly charming enough to make the hearts of a few girls and guys flutter. "I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army."

Robin nods, letting all of the those words process in her head before saying, "Mind if I call you Steve? You look like a Steve."

The Sixth King of Rome blinks, looking slightly confused before his eyes light up with understanding. "Ah! A nickname! Yes, I am familiar with this concept. You may call me Steve, Lady Robin, as a show of our newfound friendship."

"Yeah, don't call me Lady Robin. Just Robin is fine," she says, hesitating before offering her hand to Steve.

"As you wish, Just Robin," he says, stepping carefully onto her hand and remaining steady as she raises him higher.

Robin blinks, frowning slightly and about to correct him again when she sees his smile and realizes it's a joke. "Okay, very funny, dingus," she says, carefully poking his side.

"Is dingus another nickname? It sounds like an insult."

"It usually is, but it's affectionate when I say it."

"Oh! Yes, like when Ockie calls Jed a philistine."

"Uh, sure," Robin says, nodding once as she lets Steve move to stand on her shoulder. He quickly sits, holding onto the collar of her jacket as she carefully stands up. "Hey, you know what I'm supposed to do about the dinosaur bones?"

"Rexy? Yes, he enjoys a game of fetch."

"Fetch. Of course."

----------

"What's going on in that head of yours, little man?"

Steve blinks, looks over at Jedediah, and raises an eyebrow at him. "I'm taller than you," he says, gesturing to the good inch he has on Jedediah.

"As long as you're my son, you're a little man."

Doing his best to not laugh, Steve nods once and points to the new diorama set up in the middle of the room. It's a circular diorama, centered on an equally circular stage divided into sections. A cacophony of noise echoes from it, clashing as each slice of the stage fights for dominance. "I'm trying to figure out what in Jupiter's name they're doing over there," he says.

"Well, most of it sounds like music," Jedediah says, "I think."

"It's not any music I've heard before," Octavius says, coming to a stop next to Jedediah and frowning at the diorama. "I would have assumed it the unholy shrieking of the damned."

"Perhaps it would be nicer if they weren't all playing at once," Steve suggests, hands on his hips as he tilts his head.

"Oh, boy, there it is," Jedediah says, his grin audible in his tone. "He's got the King Face."

"What are your intentions, my boy?" Octavius asks.

Before Steve can answer, Robin strolls into the room, grinning when she sees the raving diorama in the middle. She walks over to Steve, Jedediah, and Octavius, crouches down, and says, "Hey, guys. I see you're checking out the History of Rock display."

"History of Rock?" Steve asks.

"What in the sweet hell do rocks have to do with that mess?" Jedediah asks, gesturing to the noisy stage.

Robin rolls her eyes. "No, like, rock music. It's a genre. Anyway, it was sponsored by some musician, so it's a permanent display now."

"And they will be...playing every night?" Octavius asks.

"Probably."

Steve frowns a little more and nods, rolling his shoulders back. "If they are a permanent fixture in our hallowed hall, they must be welcomed. As Sixth King of Rome, this duty falls upon my shoulders. Fathers, I shall return shortly."

"Woah, woah, hold your horses there, little man," Jedediah says, moving to stand in front of Steve. "You're not going anywhere near that snake pit without some back up."

"A few centurions, at least," Octavius agrees.

"I will have Robin. What better protection is there?"

Jedediah and Octavius glance at each other before looking at Robin. She grins and offers them a two finger salute. "I'll guard him with my life," she says, "It's literally my job."

With that reassurance, Jedediah and Octavius move out of the way. Steve steps onto Robin's hand and settles on her shoulder with practiced ease, ignoring the nervous flutter in his stomach at greeting the new museum residents. He hopes they'll get along, but he also knows the might of his Roman army and the railroad workers can crush any who stand in their way.

Robin stops next to the diorama, tilting her head as she studies it. This close, Steve can see the bands playing on each slice of stage, the instruments and fashion shifting as his gaze travels around it. "Uh, excuse me," Robin says, raising her voice.

The raucous noise from the diorama screeches to a halt, the feedback making Robin and Steve grimace slightly. "Uh, hi. We're the official welcome crew for the Hall of Miniatures here. So, I'll need someone to represent your, like, whole display," Robin says, glancing over the bands until she finds one she recognizes. "Okay, I know you guys, so I'll be designating you the spokesband. Now, could the lead singer step forward?"

Steve watches as someone on the "Corroded Coffin" (what an odd name for a band) slice of the stage steps forward. Robin offers her hand to them, carefully lifting it away once they step on. "Great, uh, carry on, I guess. But, like, maybe play some of your quieter stuff for a bit," she says, her words barely out before the music starts up and the crowds start screaming once more.

She sighs and just walks over to the bench, letting off the person on her hand before letting Steve slide down her arm in a move they spent nearly three weeks practicing if only because they knew it would look cool.

When he hops onto the bench, Steve walks up to the other miniature, a man his age with long hair and odd clothes with tears that Robin once said were fashionable. His instrument is still slung over his shoulders, resting casually against his hips much like Steve's sword. Steve suddenly finds himself thinking that the man looks a little like a warrior. An odd one, to be sure, but a handsome one nonetheless.

He flashes his most charming smile, lets his shoulders relax, and says, "My friend here is Robin, Guardian of Brooklyn. I am Servius Tullius, Sixth King of Rome, son of Vulcan, weapons master of the gods, and adopted son of Jedediah, Cowboy King of the Wild West, and Octavius, general of the Roman army. You, however, may call me Steve."

-----

As far as Eddie was concerned, nothing mattered so long as Corroded Coffin got to keep rocking in an endless concert. The energy never waned, the set list never grew boring, and the music never stopped. He was ready to inform this welcoming crew of just that and promise Hell on Earth if they tried to disrupt the music (angry concert goers are a force of nature), when the words just died in his throat.

Because the most gorgeous man he's ever seen slides down that giant lady's arm, easily and smoothly landing on the bench. Somehow, his hair is perfectly windswept, the golden laurels glinting in the lights above them. His purple cape flutters softly as he walks closer, his toned thighs on full display with the toga hem that falls to the middle of them. There's a sword on the guy's hip, a chest plate that Eddie wants to pull off, a smile he wants to taste, and a pair of freckles right next to each other on the guy's cheek he wants to drag his tongue across.

He misses most of the introduction because he's too busy staring. He gets the important bits, though: Robin, a king, son of a god, adopted son of two dads. Eddie licks his lips nervously, a grin of his own tugging at his lips as he steps forward and playfully bows. "It's an honor to meet you, Your Majesty," he says.

It's supposed to come out joking, a little poke at the guy's authority to see if he can be riled up. It actually comes out way too genuine, and Eddie has a sudden realization that he meant it. He absolutely will accept this guy as his king, actually. He'll fall to his knees before him right now if asked, and not just because it might give him a little peek under the dude's toga.

"Please, just call me Steve. There's no need to be so formal."

Eddie bites the inside of his cheek, hoping Steve doesn't realize that the things Eddie is thinking about (the things he wants to do to and with Steve) are just about the least formal things on this earth. "Good to know," he says, relieved his voice sounds normal as he stands up straight and offers his hand. "Name's Eddie Munson, uh, lead singer of Corroded Coffin."

Steve blinks, and his smile becomes a bit more genuine as he steps closer and clasps Eddie's forearm. "A fellow leader," he says, squeezing Eddie's arm. "Welcome to our museum."

"Y-yeah," Eddie says, his arm still tingling when Steve lets go. He clears his throat, idly tugging on a few strands of hair. "So, uh, what's the deal around here? I mean, giant women...Roman kings...cowboys, it looks like."

"Our noble museum is home to Pharoah Ahkmenrah and his tablet, which brings the exhibits to life each night," Steve explains.

"There's a few rules, though," Robin says, sitting down on the bench behind Steve. "One, no getting into fights. Two, be back in your display by sunrise. Three, no leaving the museum at night."

"What? Why not?"

"We have lost good exhibits to Sol Invictus's morning rays," Steve says, frowning slightly. "So, be careful."

Eddie stares at Steve with wide eyes as he nods, amazed at the fact that Steve seems to talk like that so genuinely. And the fact that Eddie is...kinda into it. Holy shit, that's not helping with Eddie's whole "fall to his knees" thing. He wouldn't mind some good old-fashioned worship if Steve would just smile at him again.

Maybe his prayers are heard, because Steve smiles at him again. "Wonderful," he says. "Now, Eddie, could I interest you in a tour of the museum tonight?"

"Oh, you could interest me in a lot of things, sweetheart," Eddie blurts out, his mouth running faster than his brain.

He snaps his jaw shut, relieved and horrified at Steve's slightly confused expression and Robin's "I know what you are" thousand-yard stare from over his shoulder. Before he can try to backtrack, Steve snaps, understanding in his eyes. "Ah! Sweetheart is a nickname, yes? I accept your offer of friendship."

Eddie clenches his jaw, stopping himself from saying that it's more than friendships he's offering, and smiles. "Yeah. A nickname. That's all. I'm just...a nickname kinda guy. I'll probably think of more, too, Stevie. Like that."

Steve practically beams, and Eddie feels his knees go weak. "I look forward to it," he says, turning on his heel to look at Robin, who thankfully schools her expression. "Robin, this is where we leave you for the night. You have my word that Eddie will be back in place before sunrise."

"Well, you two kids have fun," she says, grinning in a way that immediately puts Eddie on edge. "I'd better not hear about any funny business, though. Absolutely no bases should be reached tonight, and you'd better not do any conquering or pillaging."

She definitely looks at Eddie when she says that last bit. Eddie stiffens, doing his best to hold back a blush when Steve glances over at his, the confusion clear on his face. "Conquering requires more planning than this, Robin. I've told you before."

"Don't worry about it, dingus. Just have fun. Here, I'll even call a ride for you," she says, winking at them before turning, holding her fingers to her mouth, and whistling sharply.

Steve walks over to Eddie right as the ground starts to shake, easily catching him around the waist before he can lose his balance. "The shaking does take some getting used to," he says, his tone full of sympathy and obliviousness to the crisis Eddie is experiencing.

When his brain finally catches up enough to ask what he's talking about, a dinosaur skeleton slides into the room, its body wiggling excitedly as it growls. Eddie jerks back, the arm around his waist tightening some. "What the fuck?!" he shouts.

"Worry not," Steve says, leaning closer. His voice is a little softer now, his breath fanning over Eddie's ear. "This is Rexy, our steed for the evening. He's very friendly."

"Friendly," Eddie mumbles, letting himself be dragged over to Rexy and placed on the dinosaur's head by Robin. "The dinosaur is friendly."

"Many of the exhibits are," Steve tells him, grinning brightly as Rexy begins moving after a pet on the snout from Robin.

Eddie looks at him, feeling blinded by Steve's smile once more, and completely forgets about the living dinosaur skeleton.

--------

Lemme know if you'd like to be added to the tag list!

(Also I know there are like one or two upcoming parent AUs that people have asked to be tagged in and I tried to see if this was one of them but couldn't find anyone for the life of me hfjdks so I'm sorry if you asked on another post and I missed you orz)

And, finally, a meme for you

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #robin buckley #Mini Steddie #the tag for this series #steve deserves good parents actually #night at the museum #natm crossover #natm jedediah #natm octavius #jedtavius #the worship kink was a surprise to me too actually #and then i realized it was v on brand #have fun guys #there ought to be shenanigans aplenty

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tujhse-raabta · 4 months

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pjo fic recs?

OOH OOH IKHF FKFKVKRKVKDLCKRKFKRLVKDF I LOVE YOU FOR THIS

ok ok ok first one. The God Complex

this is an apollo x oc, and it is so fucking well written I die because of it daily????? like. lowkey one of the best things I've read. author hasn't updated for like a year, but honestly, you would not regret reading this at ALL. it's a blessing, I am Very Serious

next, i think this one's a classic - Falling For You

i am feral for this. basically percy falls into Tartarus alone, dark percy, percabeth, the ups and downs of dating a demigod who has gone through HELL, god I will never forget how this one fucked me up and I love it sm igkfkgke

next, Son Of Sea Foam

gdidkfkrkckd FERAL FERAL FERAL, LITERALLY

in a world where big three kids have a CURSE ON THEM, it's even more forbidden to be alive !!! silena is the loml as is percy and god I love this one sm. i had to stop reading after the first one bcs [redacted] but the second one is amazing too i just know it gifkfkekcklckcekcm

a perpollo - I have swallowed my pride (to say goodbye)

everytime this updates i cry of happiness and they're so regular it's just like a weekly blessing. it's time travel fem percy and there's so muchr tirkgkrkgkrkglrlvke I CSNT FUNCTION OK THIS IS A MUST READ EVEN IF YOU DONT TOUCH THE OTHERS

The Kistos Trilogy

not very percabeth friendly pls keep that in mind!!! but it's so. it's very Poseidon and Percy and parental love and dark percy and gods i just girkgkekckdlkckdlcldlckekckelvllrkv

having a god for a big brother

THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, ITS AN UTTER AU ANF ITS SO UNIQUE????? BASICALLY OK OKOK SO . percy is a god here and Estelle is his sister / [redacted] oh god the plot twists and the family fluff I love the perpollo yes but I read this for the Annabeth & Luke & Thalia & Estelle & Percy feels!!!!!!

i hear you're alive (how disappointing)

fuckrifkrkfkfkelck this is. the worst that Tartarus could be. basically percy doesn't stop when Annabeth asks him to during akhlys, and terrified + trauma flashbacks cause her to leave him there alone and escape through the doors of death. it's .,,, obviously not percabeth? i find Annabeth surprisingly in character for the WILDLY out of character premise but gods the way this is written is so. fkekgkrkgk. also hazel baby<333

last one I promise lmao - Citizens of Glass

BEST PERPOLLO DJGKKRKFKEKFKEKFKEKKVKDKVLRKGKRKGKROEOGKRKCLELCKRKVKRK GODS THE FEELS AND EVERYTHING???? IM SO FERAL FOR ANNABEYH AND PERCYS FRIENDSHIP HERE DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ITS SO. V8DKGMVL. THEY ARE RIDE OR DIE BESTIES. LITERALLY.

i lied one more because VIRIRKF

The Once and Future God

time travel fix it which I think redeems luke????? i love it it's all so amazing and Percy is actually from 300 years in the future and he's such a smart amazing kid he's SAVING SO MANY PEOPLE AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF HASNT EVEN STARTED????? i love this sm it's the best soup ever

(two more bcs I can't help myself. this for some really really cool god Percy oneshot which left me feeling buzzed and this for a super super unhealthy dark perpollo)

#fanfic #fanfiction recommendation #pjo fanfics #percy jackson and the Olympians #dark percy jackson #perpollo #i have more but ive gone overboard already lmao #pick and choose #you have a library at your beck and csll

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kissforyouu · 6 months

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Would you ever write a little drabble or something of oc having a huge reaction & going off at jk & how he responds? Or how he just crumbles lmao like you said he would 😭😂

"but then it didn't make sense, noh? i asked rhea about the theme and it was beach. the clothes they've provided us with are nowhere near beach? i don't know how we're gonna come up with a beachy look with those. i mean, kook, it's literally a long dress. even worse, it's fucking formal! who wears formal to the beach? nobody! but you know what the worst part is? they said we weren't allowed to use the given clothes to make new ones. like, what? that doesn't make sense at all", you continued with your rant, "it's unfair, to be honest. it was just our time and like 2 more out of the entire competition who got these non beachy looking clothes. it doesn't make sense. but we're all thinking of making a complaint. i have to win, you know." you nod, body slanted against the table.

"what do you think—" pause.

"you're not even listening are you?" you glare at your boyfriend, who's been glued to his phone for the past 20 minutes. he's watching some football match. a fucking football match.

he mindlessly nods, pretending to listen. he doesn't even know what you're saying!

"you're not listening to me."

once he just nods again, you groan and then just slap his arm. jungkook jolts at the sudden hit from you, looking up from his phone.

"what?"

"you're not listening to me." you whine.

"hm, no, i was." liar.

"quit lying, jungkook."

"nah, nah, i was." he looks back at his phone again. you hate when he acted like this. makes you feel ignored.

"see! again! you're not listening to me!" you shout, throwing your hands in the air.

jungkook groans, rolling his eyes at you. you gasp, looking at your boyfriend with pure shock. did he just roll his eyes at you? oh no, he didn't!

"my bad."

the short careless responds were annoying you to the core.

"okay." your voice is stern. you get up, stomping your way around his room. he still doesn't bother to look at you or anything, eagerly watching his match. and just because you're such a dramatic spoiled bitch, you grab your bag and put on your shoes. your boyfriend, who was playing with his lower lip, drifts his eyes away from his stupid football match for a moment. and suddenly, he starts panicking.

nah, you were gonna leave. oh he messed up.

"baby, where you going?" his lazy ass finally gets up from his bed, brushing his hands on his sweats as he walked towards you.

you scoff, looking away dramatically.

"home."

"nah, come on, stay." he grips onto your arm tightly.

"no. because my boyfriend who invited ME over isn't paying me any attention because of some stupid fucking football game!"

"baby, i'm so sorry, okay? i didn't realise. now come on, don't go."

you squint your eyes and look at your boyfriend with a glare. and because you love the game, you decline again.

"y/n, i'll be better, come onnn. you can't just leave. i'm sorry i was being an ass to you earlier. please stay. let's cuddle and watch a movie or something. i'll rub your feet and give you a massage too." you try not to break into a laugh at the rubbing your feet part and somehow manage to keep an expressionless face.

"you need to be put on timeout."

"okay, say less."

jungkook walks back to his bed, sits on and faces his wall. he stares at it blankly as if he was a toddler who had just gotten scolded by their parent. the sight was hilarious. god, the things he does because of you. i mean, you didn't mean it literally, but he just accepted it.

"am i good now?" your boyfriend peaks at you slowly. you scowl. he slightly finds it funny and cute at the same time. everything you do is cute for him.

"come on, sweetheart. don't look at me like that." you kiss your teeth at his slightly flirty comment.

"okay. i'll stay." jungkook releases a loud sigh, falling back onto the bed.

"you're so dramatic sometimes."

"I'M LEAVING!"

(okay ik this isn't a major argument but i js thought this would be cute😭😭)

taglist:

@fungie2332 @wintertxt @wheexine @hyunjinswifeee @ohsweetmimosa @canyon-txt @kooreo @rrosiitas @goldenjeonkoo

#jungkook #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x oc #jungkook x reader #jungkook x y/n #bts #bts jk #bts smut #jungkook smut #smut

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these-posts-arent-real · 4 months

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Time to catch up on your favorite dashboard simulator :3

#gonna start scheduling these for 1 or 2 per day #i really enjoy making them but I think i'll get burnt out otherwise #also HUGE ty to whoever was the anon who sent me the idea #about having therian cats #ohhh my god #hey anon #(or anyone else but im talkin to u) #feel free to dm me to talk at any point you seem cool

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🔁 🐍xviper-the-fagx reblogged

🫎 mo0sedude Follow

I PASSED MY ASSESSMENT!!! AAAAAHHH

🪺 robbbinpaw Follow

OMSC CONGRATS MOOSE! I'm so happy for you!!!!

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

WOAAAHHH CONGRATULATIONS MOOOSEE!!! Have you had your name ceremony yet??

#im so happy for ya dude #moving on from apprenticeship </3 #gonna miss you in the 'apprentice things' tag

10 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow reblogged

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

Daily selfie !!!

Trying on some new berry-based fur dye.

🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass Follow

The amount of cats commenting "you'll never be a she-cat" and "wearing fur dye won't make you female" is astounding. Like. Thanks?? I'm a trans guy not a trans girl...

#lol?? #this is so funny to me #trans

4,703 notes

🥬 rxttencatmint Follow

Ahh.. different type of post than usual, but.. mmrrnn... I'm considering coming out to my mentor. I know he's supportive, but I'm really nervous, so, uh.. I'm gonna leave it up to a Clanblr poll haha..

#trans #transmasc #trans tom #transgender #trans apprentice #advice #poll

4 notes

🤍 snwtl Follow

* ,○ ' WELCOME TO MY BLOG ^. o° ;

adult female cat - 49 moons - gender critical

Keep reading

#terfsafe #radfem #adult female cat #terf #riverclan

0 notes

🔁 🥬 rxttencatmint reblogged

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

New neighbors have THE most annoying dog I've ever met in my life. Won't shut up about how that's her yard and to get back... nobody wants your yard Jackie, shut uppp...

🌻 l1llyst3m Follow

Since when do you speak dog????

🍲 ex-thundrclan-kipper Follow

I started picking it up when I moved to the twolegplace. I'm still not fluent, but I can hold a conversation with the neighborhood dogs if I want.

#every new thing i learn about kipper #just. wow #he is so coolll... #this is totally not the gender envy and parent issues speaking

2,851 notes

🔁 🌊 missingmyscales reblogged

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

The worst part about being a fox therian is that even when I am partially accepted, it's usually because cats are telling me how horrible foxes are, and how I should've "picked a different species" because they think that's how it works.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Imagine being a fish. In RiverClan.

The closest I ever get to "acceptance" is my friends joking about how I would taste.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

How does it feel to have to eat the thing your damaged brain thinks you are. Lol

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Frst off. "Damaged brain" like. Oookay guess we're just being really mean to others on Clanblr today. Second off ,I dont eat fish??? I never even implied that I eat fish.

🦋 lalala-bluegaze Follow

You're from RiverClan lmao. What else is there to eat

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

...

You are joking, right?

Lizards, birds, water voles and shrews, snakes, frogs, toads?? None of those come to mind when you consider the potential diet of a RiverClan warrior??????

🦊 foxx--hearted Follow

@missingmyscales you should probably just block @lalala-bluegaze, her whole blog is about being anti-kittypet, anti-therian, not believing enbies or bisexuals/any other lgbt identity than lesbian or gay or binary trans is valid, and a whole bunch of other stuff. It's not worth talking to her.

🌊 missingmyscales Follow

Ahh thanks... blocked her. I didnt think to check her blog beforehand

#sorry again for arguing on your post, Maple #saw a misconception ab RiverClan and blacked out lol

407 notes

🔁 🏞 trouttail-prefers-bass reblogged

🌾 barncat-vibes Follow

Good morning everyone <3 remember to eat breakfast and stay hydrated!

2,301 notes

🐍 xviper-the-fagx

Ithunk i atw a bug

#it difnr taste good euther :/

1 note

🌱 dirtdigger-23 Follow

So I guess I'm just on this site now?? Clanblr is gone. I can't access any of its posts. But. I can see "Tumblr". Which is weird. The posts are really strange here.

#fakeposting #unreality #fake dash #fake dashboard #dash sim #dash simulator #dashboard simulator #dashboard sim #warriors dashboard sim #warriors dashboard simulator #clanblr #warrior cats

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infiniteimaginings · 5 months

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He's Still My Father (Father!Count Olaf x GN!Child!Reader) [Platonic]

Summary: You are Count Olafs child from a woman he truly loved, who is now gone due to...unfortunate events. You meet the Baudelaires who are now suffering in the care of your father, will you help them? Or are you really your fathers child? Pronouns: You/Yours, ‘Child’ Warnings: Typical ASOUE timeline events, and not a good father child relationship Word Count: 2.0k A/N: God, I was planning the layout of the post to add the fic and I am an idiot and posted it before it was ready. So I had to delete it and then deleted it WITH the request by accident. I am so sorry to whoever requested. It's here now though, I'm so sorry, I love you so much, thank you for requesting. I'm just stupid lmao, I hope you like it, I hope you remember you requested to me. I'm so sorry again.

The Baudelaire children, Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were orphans. After their parents' tragic death in a house fire, they were sent to live with their closest living relative. That relative's name was Count Olaf.

He was pale, tall, and extremely thin. He had grayish white receding hair, a long unibrow, a hooked nose, and a tattoo of an eye on his ankle. He was unsettling to look at. The Baudelaires tried to look past his appearance and the appearance of the home that didn’t look lived in. They tried but Count Olaf showed his true colors the moment Mr Poe, the banker responsible for the children's fortune left to them by their parents, had left the grounds. Olaf was greedy, obsessive, rude, and vile.

The only thing even slightly keeping the children afloat in the terrible conditions was the neighbor across the street and Count Olafs child, you.

Your father was the worst man the Baudelaires had come to know, so they didn’t know what to think of you. You were quiet as he spoke, standing to his side, chest puffed out and proud. You occasionally joined in dance numbers and ate with the troop, but other than that you weren’t necessarily acknowledged. For all the Baudelaires knew, you could be just as horrible as your father.

After the dinner that went terribly wrong, the three were in the attic. Klaus was holding his cheek that was slightly bruised due to Count Olaf slapping him at the table, he was sat against the wall. Violet was across the room putting Sunny to sleep. There was silence in the air, nothing but the sounds of crickets since their window wouldn’t close that night.

Through the silence, soft footsteps were barely heard, they were drawing near the room the Baudelaires were in. Violet turned her head quickly and stood in front of the makeshift area they made for Sunny and Kalus stood in front of the door, waiting for Olaf to enter the room.

The door slowly and quietly opened and your head peeked in to see if they were asleep. The two eldest Baudelaires were still on guard, but their defense lowered a bit when they saw it was just you.

“Oh, you guys are awake, good.” You told them, walking into the room and shutting the door quietly. Klaus and Violet looked at each other, having a silent conversation but neither had an answer for why you were there.

You cleared your throat, bringing attention back to you. You danced on your heels slightly, “If you guys are done with,” You waved your hand towards them, “whatever it is you guys are doing.” You finished, sighing a bit, “I brought a med kit.”

Klaus’s eyes narrowed at you but Violet gave you a weak smile. “A med kit?” She asked, smoothing her dress, walking to you. You nodded and handed it to her awkwardly, looking to the floor, “Dinner was quite brutal…so I snuck it out of my fathers bathroom.” You mumbled, kicking the wood on the ground a bit.

Violet's smile was soft towards you, as were her eyes. She took the medicine kit from your slightly trembling hands, “Thank you.” She told you gently, trying to catch your eyes. When you met her eyes you just looked away, rubbing your neck. “That was all really, I’ll be in my room.” You announced, turning to the door.

“Why are you helping us?” Klaus’s voice asked quietly as to not wake the whole house with how he was fuming, but you could tell he was angry with how sharp his words were. He had every right to be angry, you were their age and you haven’t done anything.

You stayed turned, tilting your head as you nodded, blinking back some tears they couldn’t see. “You guys don’t know how to live here.” You whispered out, inhaling deeply, breath staggering. “I do, I have.” You continued on, hugging yourself, “Just do what he says and be quiet.” You finished your sentence and you were met with silence. You put your hand on the handle but you were stopped with a hand on your shoulder.

It was gentle, turning you around to face them. Violet looked at you sadly, “This place is horrible, he treats everyone terribly.” She told you, brows furrowed, lips parted.

You licked your lips with a weak smile, “He’s my father, you don’t have to tell me how he acts.” You spoke with a huff of a laugh, sucking at your teeth slightly. Violet shook her head, “Then, why do you stay?” She asked you, taking her hand off your shoulder to clasp her own in front of her.

Silence once again other than the crickets outside. You smiled at them, “I have nowhere else to go.” You spoke simply with a shrug, sniffling. Klaus’s harsh expression softened and Violet frowned at you, but you didn’t give them any time to speak, “Goodnight.” You told them, rushing out of the room quietly back down the stairs.

A few days later, you didn’t speak to the Baudelaires. Any time they tried you would stare at them wide eyed and blank, tilting your head as if you were programmed. When they realized they weren’t getting through to you, they gave up and went on with their days.

You were now sitting in the dining room with the Baudelaires, well the two oldest ones, and you were extremely confused. You knew the three had run around between the neighbors house and shopping but you paid no attention to it, nor did you involve yourself in their affairs. So why were you there?

Count Olaf looked at the three of you, “Oh and where is Sunny?” He asked, grinning widely but the other two at the table snarled. “What did you do with our sister?!” Klaus yelled, hitting his fist on the table. Violet glared at the man at the head of the table, “Give her back now!”

You stared at them, looking between the two and your father with parted lips. When you saw the wicked look in your fathers eyes, your mouth widened a bit and your eyes teared up. “No…” You whispered, rushing out the room to go outside.

The Baudelaires noticed you left the room in a rush but they didn’t know why. Olaf gestured his arm to where you went, “Follow the leader.” He spoke slowly and the Baudelaires rushed out to the backyard where you were standing, staring upwards.

You knew it was weird that there was a cage hanging from the forbidden tower, you should’ve immediately connected the dots but you just couldn’t believe he would do something like…this.

The Baudelaires demanded Count Olaf to take her down but he refused, threatening to kill her if Violet didn't play the role of the bride and sign the wedding construct during the play. Klaus couldn’t step in to help, because then Sunny would be killed if he tried.

They complied and you stood, quiet.

They still tried to get their sister that night but were locked in a room by the hook handed man who had walkie talkies to keep Count Olaf in the loop, so they wouldn’t try anything.

You knew everything your father plotted, he wasn’t exactly quiet about it. This time around, he walked into your room with a gentle smile, “Angel.” He spoke, the nickname he hadn’t called you since your mother was alive and that was when you were around two.

He sat next to you on your bed, rubbing your back slowly as you stared out to the wall, “Tomorrow is the play.” He hummed, and you nodded, sniffling a bit. “Do you need me to do something for it?” You asked him almost hesitantly, but you knew never to hesitate in front of him.

Your father shook his head, repeating his ‘no’ excessively. “You just sit backstage, be quiet, and just let me do my work.” He mumbled, pulling you into a small hug. “We’ll be rich, we’ll be happy, just how I wanted us to be before your mother…” He trailed off, gently rubbing your neck. You didn’t hug back, you sat awkwardly as he continued to speak.

He told you how you had your mothers smile, how you reminded him of her. In those moments he was soft, it was those moments you held onto. You held onto them before at least, now you couldn’t even bear to look at him. You turned your head from him, tearing yourself from his side as he spoke and he rolled his eyes, walking away. He muttered a small “Exactly like your mother.” before he left you alone in your bedroom.

You knocked on the door and the hook handed man had no reason not to let you in. You stared at the two Baudelaires with a frown, they didn’t even look at you.

“You’re not plotting.” You spoke bluntly, sitting in front of them. Klaus looked up at you before looking back down, completely silent. Violet sighed, “We can’t do anything, Sunny will be hurt-”

“No, she’ll be killed!” Klaus cut in harshly, glaring at you as if you set the whole thing up.

You nodded, biting the inside of your cheek. You inhaled through the nose, patting your chest a bit to rid the pain in your chest. You looked at Violet slightly, glancing at the hook handed man who wasn’t paying attention. You leaned in, “What’s your dominant hand?”

The next day was the ‘play’, many people were there. Justice Strauss, the neighbor across the street, was going to play the judge, which made the marriage legally binding. The play was going on just as planned and as they got to the marriage Violet sucked in a breath, forced to sign the paper of the marriage.

Count Olaf grinned with all his teeth barred, turning to the audience and explaining how the marriage was legally binding and real. Mr. Poe and Justice Strauss were shocked, they objected, but…they couldn’t do anything the damage was done. The Baudelaires now had to transfer their parents' fortune to Count Olaf, the evil man who did everything to get his hands on their money.

Count Olaf spoke into the walkie talkie, telling the hook handed man to bring the baby, Sunny, to the stage.

That was until you walked onto the stage, “Actually…” you began, tilting your head as you stood next to Violet. “Violet?” You looked over to her smugly, and she turned to you, blinking her eyes innocently. “Yes?” She asked, tilting her head at you.

“What hand is your dominant hand?”

“Oh, well that would be my right.” She answered with a sweet smile and you blinked, hand on your chest as you gasped. The conversation is quite confusing to everyone around you, but when you looked at your father he just looked livid. His brows were in a v shape, he didn’t know what you were doing but his gaze told you to ‘stop’...you didn’t.

“But…didn’t you just sign with your left hand?” You asked, terribly acting out your point.

“I did indeed.”

You nodded and smiled, “That makes the marriage not legally binding, since she has to sign in her own hand, and that wasn’t her dominant.” You explained to the crowd who murmured around a bit.

Justice Staruss agreed with you, it was a small loophole but a loophole nonetheless. The marriage wasn’t legally binding, it wasn’t real.

Count Olaf looked around with clear stress in his features, sweat dripping down his face as he nervously laughed. He went to tell his men to drop the baby, but she appeared on stage, carried by the hooked man, and Count Olaf was to be arrested.

He looked at you with dark but saddened eyes, “You are a terrible actor.” He told you, jaw tightened as his eyes narrowed.

You sniffled, eyes filling with tears as you stared up at him, shaking your head, “I am my fathers child.” You answered, voice hoarse.

His eyes widened as his scowl softened, “You are not my child after this.” He told you, walking backwards as people began to get out of their seats to go after him. Count Olaf was shaking his head at you, “Your mother would be so disappointed in you.”

Those were the last words he said to you before the lights all shut off and when they were back on, he was gone. Your fath….Count Olaf had left you, you were now an orphan.

You now could finally breathe without struggling.

#asoue #asoue x reader #count olaf #count olaf x reader #count olaf x reader platonic #platonic #platonic fic #familial #family #father!count olaf #child!reader #a series of unfortunate events x reader #a series of unfortunate events #Infinite Imaginings

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spookyscaryskidnpump · 6 months

Text

my thoughts on spooky month 6

copy pasted from a page and a half of google doc. crying. spoilers inbound.putting it under the cut cuz its super long. also swear warning.

Ok to start off LILA. LILA MY GAL NO UR DOING UR BEST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Im crying im actually fucginf crying. She's trying. So hard. Skid is trying so hard. THEY'RE DOING THEIR BEST PLEASEEEEE. Father Gregor can go EAT SHIT. THEY'RE TRYING AND THAT'S WHAT COUNTS GODDAMNIT.

Susie… Susie no… please… she deserves better istgggggg. What happened to their parents? Are they actually just busy? Are they DEAD? Holy shit what if they're dead. Poor Pump, poor Susie, god please just let these kiddos be ok. PLEASE. ABUELO WONDER IS TYING SO HARD BUT SUSIE KNOWS IT ISN'T REALLY FROM HER PARENTS IM CRYING. SUSIE NOOOOOO

FATHER GREGOR I HATE YOU. ok well he obvs did some good but STILL. GREGOR. STFU GREGOR. I get that hes trying but U CANT JUST SAY ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT JUDGEMENT AND THEN JUDGE HER HER FUCKING HOUSE GOT BROKEN INTO!! YOU DONT HAVE THE FUCKING CONTEXT!!!! ARGHFDGHJSGHJKAGHSD. Also DAMN IS HE A CULTIST NOW?? IS HE DEAD?? WHAT?!?!?!

ROYYYYYY ROY MY BOI NOOOOOO poor guy :( i understand why he hates the kids they DID kinda ruin him so. At least he knows theyre trying now :( and ross n rob just ASSUME he did something bad isnt helping here!!!! I get that theyre also trying to help him and its nice to see him opening up to them about stuff (even if we dont get to know what specifically PELO WHY) but PLEASE get this kid an anger management class or smthn PLEASE. He needs SO MUCH THERAPY. I dont think hes gonna get therapy because im pretty sure his parents are Part Of The Problem but STILL. Also FUCKER LITERALLY GOT POSSESED BY A DEMON?????? THATS GOTTA BE TRAUMATIC TF

Side note i love ross and robert dearly and i appreciate them doing their best to help on both sides i love them smmmmmm AUGH

KEVIN AND RADFORD FRIENDSHIP REALLLLLLLLLL i am SO fucking happy about that!!!! Also Kevin having conflicted feelings on the kids FAIR. Similar thing to Roy except hes an adult with a semi-functional support network and is able to understand that theyre just dumb kids and they dont actually mean any harm. He’s harsher on the hatzgang cuz theyre teens and old enough to know stealing is wrong but Skid n Pump are little kiddos they dont know better. Also him disapproving of father gregor REAL THO. also HE GOT POSSESSED TOO?? TRAUMA CENTRAL HOLY SHIT

PATTY DESERVES TO HAVE A GUN ACTUALLY. Also JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST JOHN ANGST! IS HIS KID DEAD? IS HIS DAUGHTER OK HOLY SHIT. ALSO THEM HELPING THE KIDS PROPERLY IM CRYIG AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!

WHAT WAS EVERMORE DOING WITH THE HOBOMEN???? HELLO??????

I SAW THAT CULT NECKLACE UNDER IGNACIOS SHIRT. I FUCKING SAW IT. CALLED IT BITCH!!!!!!

Rick just has the WORST luck lmao

STREBER IS ALIVE LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOO

DEXTER NO PLEASE AUGH…… HIS MOM TOO……

JAUNE AND ROSS’S DAD… HE'S REAL HE EXISTS!! I get ur trying jaune but that is NOT the best way to comfort poor lila… AT LEAST SHES TRYING THO I APPRECIATE HER

THE ENTIRE NEWGROUNDS ENDING?? THE THIEVES AND THE CANDY DEALER IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CULT???? HELLO??????

MOLOCH IS GONE. he deserved it but also THE KIDS ARE SO SAD ABOUT IT? Like they don't really get it but they just watched someone they thought was their friend DIE. HOLY SHIT.

finally. SKID AND PUMP. KIDDOS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Ok for real tho theyre so much more self aware than the fandom and bulk of the show give them credit for?? Like Skid is VERY aware of his dad being dead/possibly missing and legit just doesn’t wanna talk about it. He knows what death is and he finds fun in it to cope. My poor sweet boyo… and PUMP. PUMP ANSWERING THE CALL AUGHHHHHH HE WANTS HIS PARENTS BACK IM CRYING. SUSIE AND ABUELO ARE DOING THEIR BEST AND HE'S TRYING SO HARD AND AAAAAAAAAAUGH. Also him getting possessed by Moloch while having Star-Eyes basically debunks the theory of the Star-Eyes being a form of possession which is FASCINATING. Anyway that scene with Susie and Pump got me misty eyed and then during the ending with Skid and Lila i actually genuinely started crying. I just want them to be happy. Please let them be happy. Please. PLEASE.

#spookymisc.txt #spooky month #spooky month 6 #spooky month 6 spoilers #sm6 #sm spoilers #not tagging all the characters cuz theres too many mentioned #anyway CRYING.

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confiscatedpeaches · 1 year

Note

can i request william brat taming reader?? afab plss and i LOVE your writing!! tysm!!

ofc!! thank you so much for the complement! I love the thought of William brat taming, I bet he'd be really good at it. (Also this lowkey turned into a really long fic lmao so I AM going to write a part 2 tomorrow aaaah)

Minors DNI, TW: bdsm dom/sub bratty!reader, reader is wearing a collar, use of restraints

Afton comes home from work and it has NOT been a good day.

You knew the signs; the sound of his car door slamming, his shoes practically stomping onto the pavement below, and swearing as he fumbled for his keys. Today was not a good day at work for Mr. Afton. He was positively furious about something, and you knew he was going to take all of his frustration out on you. Of all the days you could have chosen to be a brat, this should not have been one of them.

You look into the living room and find him pacing furiously, muttering something to himself about "Henry" and "those god-damned parents". Noticing you out of the corner of his eye, he turns to look at you.

"You. Come over here right now."

You fold your arms. Why should you come over, when it's so adorable to watch him pace his way into a hole in the rug? Absolutely not. Part of you loved when he was like this, the angrier he got, the more fun he would have with you later.

"Awe my little whore thinks she's in charge. Get over here, now."

You should have listened. Really, you should have. But you just couldn't help your bratty ass now could you. Instead, you decide to commit the worst sin according to your Mr. Afton, you stick out your tongue.

He scoffed, his face getting redder. His head cocked to the side.

"You're feeling brave today aren't you love? Keep it up and see what happens."

God, you loved how his accent became thicker with rage. Sometimes you could barely understand the man. Watching him unravel into a mess of words and animalistic sounds drove you absolutely mad. Seeing him lose himself in you was such a thrill. You really, really should give in now, before this became much worse.

"Oh? What are you gonna do to me Mr. Afton? Are you gonna punish me?" You mocked.

He scowled and crossed his arms. You could practically see steam rising from out his ears.

"Yes, I am actually. Now get over here and let me spank you for being such a naughty little bunny."

Even after he raised his voice, you continue to refuse.

"Do I have to come and get you myself darling?"

A grin spread across your face. Was he challenging you? Oh yes, he was definitely challenging you. You were going to make him work for this. Excitement bubbles within you.

"I'd love to see you try, catch me if you can!"

You dash down the corridor and turn down one of the side halls. You hear a very loud British man begin raving and screaming behind you

"Oh you little---!

Laughter fills your ears. Your laughter, of course, but also Will's. He was laughing manically. It dawns on you that you have fucked up, big time. It was one thing for him to simply get mad and dominate you, but for him to start laughing? That's when you knew he had something truly terrible planned for you. You had to hide and wait for him to calm down, asap.

His footsteps were getting louder, closer. Turning down yet another corridor (his house is weirdly arranged, and you often find yourself lost in it), you flick on the lights and run into the basement. He has so much junk in there, there is no way he'd be able to find you if you tucked yourself away in there well enough.

Sitting in the back corner, you find the perfect place. You manage to hide yourself behind an animatronic you haven't seen him work on in ages. Holding your breath, you wait.

His footsteps stop at the top of the basement stairs. Shit, he must have seen you run into there. His ragged breath and laughter echo down the stairs, reverberating on the basement walls. He has really lost it this time.

Then, he does something unexpected. He takes a few steps down the stairs, before shutting the door behind him and flicking off the lights.

He has you trapped. You're so unfamiliar with the basement that there is no way you'd be able to navigate your way out of there without making a sound, or god forbid, bumping into him.

"Come out come out wherever you are." He sings.

Dear lord, he was feeling absolutely villainous. You knew he could be sadistic, but you've never seen him like this. You heard him shuffle, what could he be doing? Is he searching for you? Fear and arousal pool inside you.

"Aww come on little bunny, I thought you were being brave."

You could feel your heart beating in your ears. You didn't know how long you could hold or hide your breath, especially with how hot and bothered you were getting.

"Little bunny, where are you? I know you're in here. If you come out now I pinkie promise not to punish you.... too harshly."

That liar, you knew this was a fake-out. He isn't stupid enough to believe that would do the trick. You would wait him out, see who could last longer. A growing part of you wanted to submit, face the consequences, and end the torture early, but the rest of you was stubborn and wanted to see how far you could take this. You were already in deep shit, why not make it worse?

"Sweetheart... I can see you, you know."

What? There's no way, it's almost pitch black in here. Can this motherfucker see in the dark or something?!

"You're hiding behind that animatronic, I can see your feet. I can hear your breathing too love. Come out now, be a good girl."

Shit. He had you dead-to-rights. All of the stubbornness deflated out of you like a popped balloon. He won, you lost, and he knows it. You hate how wet this is making you. You wanted to win this time, but there's a reason he's the dom and you're the brat. He's just so much cleverer and smarter than you. You stood no real chance.

"Don't you want to be a good girl for Mr. Afton? Really now, I can see you curled up back there. Crawl out like the pathetic little loser you are. I'm not coming to get you this time."

The urge to submit builds within you. You know you shouldn't make this any worse for yourself. Reluctantly, you slide out from your secure hiding place. A light illuminates your figure. You see him sitting on the second to last step of the staircase, flashlight in hand.

"Ah, there you are. Come over here, now."

Before you can resist, you find yourself walking towards him. You were too tired to fight anymore.

"Good girl, now get on your knees."

You obey. His hand thrusts towards you and grabs you by your collar.

"Gotch'ya you little bitch! How dare you disrespect me?! You stupid little whore, there's at least a dozen animatronics down here, I just guessed you were hiding behind one! It's time to face the consequences doll."

(Part 2 coming tomorrow -- am too tired to write more tonight.)

#william afton x reader #william afton smut #william afton x you #william afton #fnaf smut

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dont-blame-it-on-the-kids · 8 days

Text

50 Random Character Asks: Mako

OH MY GOD this took me 4 hours sitting down lmao

here you GO lins underway i am not accepting anymore FULL Asks but if you have a few numbers (up to 10) and a character i will accept those

1. Canon I outright reject

All of book 2 my fucking god. The whole love triangle never happened. He found Rina, and he fell in love. They’re married and pregnant with the twins in book 3

2. A canon or headcanon hill I will die on

His wife and twins, foreverrrrrrr

3. Obscure headcanon

He turned into the unofficial handyman for his apartment and is always helping when plumbing goes wrong or when the aircon units go haywire

4. Favorite line

I like any line where he's pointing something ONLY HE noticed out like it was obvious and just being a good detective. (also those cheesy cop lines he was practicing lmao)

5. Best personality trait

That hes pretty willing and ready to face challenges head on

6. Worst personality trait

Hes so stubborn and thick headed i love it

7. Age/height/weight headcanon

Hes like 18-22 throughout the show

I think he’s 6ft 5inch

Idk weighs probably a little underweight in book 1 cuz street rat probender, but after then lin gets him set up in an apartment and she and kya along with asami just make sure he’s got food stocked.

8. Unpopular opinion about them

I know its not mako specific but I hate Wu*ko I HATE IT

9. Scene that first made me love (or hate) the character

Him getting work at the electric plant ONTOP of being a probender, a part of the Krew, and trying to keep bolin from trouble. True big sibling activities.

10. Best moment on screen (or in the book)

I really like the scene where he fights the red lotus in zaofu. He does a good job.

11. Faceclaim for the role

Chai Hansen

12. Crack headcanon

He’s allergic to Lychee nuts but thinks Lychee juice is supposed to be spicy.

13. Dumbest thing they’ve ever done

If we’re looking at canon he fumbled BOTH Korra and Asami, my mans,

14. Most heroic moment

Honestly I know end of book 4 was a big moment for him but I think he was a hero LONG before with keeping him and Bolin safe on the streets and as out of trouble as they were.

15. Worst thing they’ve ever done

Godddddd that good intentions but ruining the investigation in book 2 i CANNOT dont get me started

16. Deepest darkest secret they won’t even admit to themselves

He hates bolin, he hates that bolin doesnt remember their parents well, he hates that he had to raise him, he hates that bolin gets to be irresponsible while he had to grow up at 8 to make sure they were okay. He loves his brother, he really does, but when he’s no longer responsible for bolin mako refuses to accept the relief that comes with that for a while.

17. Quotes, songs, poems, etc. that I associate with them

Can't Go Wrong by Phillip Phillips

Sleeping In by All Time Low

18. What they’d go to see a therapist about

Everything for reall like his parents being murdered infront of him batman style, to raising bolin, to having every adult that new him before we did in the show was abusing him (i.e. the probending owner taking his entire winnings, the triad they worked for when he was younger. My boy had it ROUGH)

19. Vices/bad habits

I think he picks up smoking honestly. I think he’s been smoking since he was like 11 with the triad and he doesnt let bolin know but he hasnt been able to kick the habit.

20. Scars

I think he's got a few thinner like knife and burn scars before the explosion scarred up his arm.

21. Drink of choice (not just alcoholic)

Milk

22. Best physical feature

Cheekbones lmao the cheekbones in that show are insane

23. If they were a scented candle, what would they smell like?

You know that moment when someone throws pine needles on the fire? And its pine and charcoal and fire and smoke. Yeah, maybe like that.

24. Most annoying habit

Sleeps with socks on

25. 3 things they’d want to take with them if they were dropped off in the middle of nowhere

Some money, a map, and his scarf he’ll make his way home lmao

26. What they would do if stuck in an elevator with [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

Dont matter who hes with hes gonna get them all out lmao

27. Their guilty pleasure

Wood carving, he doesnt think it’s a useful use of his time and as the unofficial handyman in his apartment he’s usually rather busy.

28. How they feel about [insert character of your choice from the same fandom]

🤷idk i depends on the person lmao

29. Eating habits

Bad, bad bad until he meets rina. He gets like A cup o noodles in mid day and mostly survives off milk and juice lmao

30. Sleeping habits

He has stints of nightmares sometimes but most of the time he can sleep anywhere, unless its too soft. He cant stand soft beds.

31. If the had a tumblr what would it look like?

He would have a family blog where its pics of his family and the twins and updates and their art and stuff. Then maybe he’ll reblog some like fandom stuff from probending or a radio show he and rina listen to.

32. Something guaranteed to make them smile/laugh

His twinssss he loves them so much

33. Something guaranteed to make them cry

Theres a song that his mom used to sing all the time. He still cant listen to it without crying. Rina finds out the hard way when she was humming it cuz it was stuck in her head one day.

34. How they react when they are feeling X emotion (sad, angry, excited, scared, etc.—can specify as many as you like)

Bottle it mostly. Emotions can be dealt with later.

35. Their idea of a perfect day

Wake up and make the family breakfast, head off to work for a bit, move a few cases forwards, get home, have dinner, bathe the twins, get them to bed with a story book then cuddle on the couch with Rina until bedtime.

36. Their favorite season

He loves winter because hes not overheating and people stand closer to him for warmth lmao

37. What they really think about themselves

He thinks he’s doing well by the end of the series. In my hc world He’s married with his twins, he and bolin have found a name and a path for themselves and they’re not struggling anymore. He’s really grown up and done a lot of work. He’s proud of what he’s done and who his family is, both chosen and blood related.

38. Favorite holiday

Growing up on the streets they did not celebrate holidays for many reasons. He hated them for a long time. but seeing the twins opening gifts on the in universe equivalent of christmas, lin, kya, and asami over for dinner while korra and bolin were away during the timeskip and seeing the twins so happy and opening gifts and stuff. He found he could enjoy the holiday again and even was looking forward to the next years dinner when the twins were older and bolin and korra were back.

39. Favorite game

He enjoys playing Cabbage Land with the twins (thank you @btheleaf for the Candy Land knock off name)

40. Favorite book

He really got into the romance series lin brought with her to the stakeout once lmao hes not so slyly asked to borrow her copies. Rina, Lin, and Kya have included him on their book club meetings now xD

41. If they could have lunch with anyone in the world (living or dead, from any fictional universe or the real world), who would it be?

I think he would want to meet his grandfather (i’m excluding his parents cuz thats a copout answerrr)

42. 3 comfort items

His scarf, a tiny glass bird a homeless man made him when they were on the streets (he made bolin a small fireferret), and a photo he has of him korra and bolin from the probending team

43. 3 favorite foods and 3 they despise

Fav - strawberries, Rina’s chicken fried rice, and he was surprised he enjoyed walrus-cow chowder as much as he did in the south.

44. Their happiest memory

Hes got a few lol, when he married Rina, and when his twins were born.

45. Their favorite celebrity

He doesnt seem the kind to follow celebrities too closely honestly.

46. The person they most admire

Lin Beifong 100000% shes the reason he joined the force and he kinda is always looking for her approval.

47. Their dream job

He seems to be really good as a detective. Maybe he would have liked to stay a probender for life but the trauma from the attacks were too much to go back really.

48. Scariest moment of their life

When the dust settles in book 4 and he doesnt know where Rina and the twins are. He doesnt know if they were on the last train out or stuck in the city during the attack.

49. Favorite toy as a child

He used to have this wooden bird that worked as like an ocarina. Hes using his wood carving skills to try to make one again and maybe make some for the twins.

50. A memory they’ve blocked out

👀👀 lots of things can happen to young kids on the streets.

#mako #hc #character ask #ask meme #firecrackers #mentioned

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