#Lol use these however they can double as reaction images.

[frenchie-sottises]

Some dumbass shit I made.

[mrsmaybank]

Honey - Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spencer and the reader were very much in love during Reid’s brief stint in Pasadena. When he has to see her again on a case, he is super nervous. 

a/n: first section is inspired by such great heights 

C/W: Swearing

PASADENA - 2002 

A note from the love of your life is a lovely way to wake up. 

------

When you can understand everything but yourself, finding somebody who does is like seeing a comet; disappointingly rare. My shaky hands can only be stilled by the smile of my most incandescent--in every connotation--creature, and that is you. The universe always seems to know what it is doing even if humanity does not. The stars align and move in patterns we as it’s audience do not fully understand. I think we have watched the stars so much the universe has aligned us as a favor to our poor, overestimated souls. I am so grateful!  Tolstoy noted that "We are asleep until we fall in love!” And I thank you for waking me up.

However I thought it best the favor not be returned this particular morning. You were up late last night, and looked too cute to disrupt. Do not kill me, I am getting coffee. 

I love you and do not leave the bed.  

-Spencer

------

Only Spencer Reid would write that on a sticky note, and only for you would he do so. 

You heard the rattling of keys and a door being opened and shut as Spencer made his way back to your bedroom. The smile you saw on his face was the start of a story that ended on the upturn of your lips, revealing the two protagonists in a mad frenzy of love. As soon as he reached you, your lips pressed to his in a desperation to be impossibly closer. 

“Hi.” he said. 

I am thinking it's a sign

That the freckles in our eyes

Are mirror images

And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned

“Hey love.” you tucked a loose brown hair back behind his ear for a closer look at the face you adored. “Please get back in bed.” 

He sighed but crawled in next to you, big nimble hands making their way across your torso to diminish the space in between you two. You nuzzled into his chest. 

“Your note was beautiful.” you whispered into his ear.

A big, goofy grin spread along his face.

“I meant every word.” his voice so sweet, it sounded dipped in honey. 

Honey is incredibly sticky. 

-----

There had to have been a world where it all worked out. 

In this world, my things never got old, and the ice cubes in my coffee never melted. I could listen to that song over and over again without draining the life out of it and I could like my hair style for more than three months. 

Spencer had read to me the greatest works of the world. Words of the greatest thinkers, authors, and minds. He had an appreciation for them greater than those of the average passerby and I adored that, because so did I. Truly, our similarities are what connected us. Our minds were correlated perfectly when it came to subjectivity. 

In accordance to human nature however, certain matters were never agreed upon. In particular, we argued about the future. The canyon of discrepancy so vast it tore us and our love in two. I didn’t think that was possible.

I wanted to write the book and watch the film as I lived my life and he and his arrogant over-practically thought that impossible. He thought himself an oneirocritic, but my dreams were not looking for critiques. 

Like I said, Spencer read to me the greatest works of the world. And years would pass and the heartbreak and sorrow would fade, but I would always find it ironic how the last thing I ever heard in that honey soaked voice was a work of Confucius.  “Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.”

Spencer chose to go to Washington. He took his heart and a piece of mine with him.

-----

BAU JET - 2011

Seaver must’ve noticed my flinch when the sound of her name resonated through the jet. I’d never liked going to California, but this...this had never happened.  “That name mean something to you Reid?” She smiled, “You look kind of horrified.” 

I ran my hands through my hair in a futile attempt to ground myself. “No. I just...I used to know her.” 

In between the fine lines of love and hate, fell a blurry midsection where feelings came before logic and screams and whispers sounded the same. She ruled over this midsection of chaotic emotional fury. 

Morgan spoke, and I quickly realized I might be falling into a conversation I really did not want to be having. “How the hell d’you know her pretty boy?” 

There was no point in lying on a plane completely occupied by profilers. My best option was to clumsily dodge any direct questions about just how well I knew her.

“I’m from the West coast.” 

“So are over 50 million people. You mean to tell me you know all of them?” he laughed.

“The exact estimation is actually 53,492,270. And no, I’m not saying I know all of them, Morgan. I lived in Pasadena for a year after I graduated from Caltech.”

“Okay?” Morgan questioned my previous statements relevancy. 

“She went to USC. We were in the same social circle.” 

Morgan laughed again, “You had a social circle?” 

Emily, next to us, was presumably combing through her file.

“You, ultimate three doctorate dorky dork, were in the same circle as a film major?” she asked. “

What the hell is ‘doctorate dorky dork’ supposed to mean?

“She double majored actually. Film and political science.”

Emily double checked the file, “And Reid’s right. Per usual.” 

“Reid and Prentiss, Y/L/N has agreed to talk to us in her home. She lives in the Hills. When we land, you guys go talk to her.” Hotch stated. 

“Why?” I said before I could stop myself. The team sat in confused silence in reaction to my bluntness, but Hotch, like always, was not having it. 

“Because we have a serial killer that is reenacting the murders in her movie, Reid.” his tone was stern and swift, with a patronizing sarcasm I supposed I deserved. 

“Sorry,” I got out, “I guess I just meant..why me?” 

“Well, you know her don’t you?” Rossi asked. 

I was not ready to divulge the personal details between me and this girl to my entire team, so I just pursed my lips and nodded. 

“Right. Sorry.” 

----

Life is not a spectacle or a feast; it is a predicament. George Santayana. I was in the biggest fucking predicament I’d ever encountered in my life. 

Nothing could slow the incessant, double time pounding in my chest. I was showing symptoms of the beginning of a heart attack. Hopefully I would die and never have to face this.

Fuck, don’t think that.

Have the seats in these cars always been this uncomfortable? God, is California always this hot?

I looked at Emily for half a second, and instantly recognized that keeping quiet from her was proving to be dysfunctional. I could feel her eyes burning into my brain with every profiling skill she knew.

“What are you not saying Reid?” 

I sighed. “Do I have to tell you?” 

“Yeah. Unless you want me to just find out on my own. It’ll be a lot less delicate.” 

Here goes nothing. 

“I dated her. For two years. I was very much in love with her. It ended....abruptly. I haven’t spoken to her since, and now, nine years later, I am on my way to her house. I might have a heart attack.” 

Emily's eyes widened, “Shit..” She laughed a little, “Reunited at last?.” 

I answered with a glare. Hard no.

“Fine, sorry.” She said, masking a giggle with a cough.

I shifted in my seat and I could practically see the gears in Emily’s profiler cerebrum spin. She knew exactly the question to ask. “Is it nerves?”  

I nodded my head, “I was a very different person back then.” 

“Nothing like time and the bureau can change somebody.” she said. “But, hey..”She smiled again and my eyes widened when I realized what I’d revealed. “I asked you if you were nervous. I didn’t-” 

“Emily..” I started. 

“Are you nervous she won’t like you now? Do you still like her?” her mouth hung open, “Oh my god Reid!” 

I shook my head, “No, I don’t still like her! I don’t even know her anymore! I just..I’d never loved somebody the way I loved her.” 

Emily had figured me out at the same time I had. “And you still haven’t.” 

Fuck.

“Correct.” 

The car pulled into her driveway, and conversations from all those years ago started to replay in my head. 

“When we get a house, can we paint our front door bright blue?” 

“I want a lemon tree in the front yard.” 

“Windows. Huge windows. It’s a must.” 

All these things I’d promised her in our future home she’d gotten for herself. Good. 

Fontaine said “Sadness flies away on the wings of time”, but the pain I felt from the loss of her was as prominent as ever. 

Here goes nothing. 

---

Thank you for reading!

a/n2 :  this is completely unedited so if its sucks dick i am sorry :/ i just wanted to post it lol

A/n 3: the typos oh my fuck. I wanna Kick myself for letting this cute fic  be up in that state for so long. Anyway, fixed! :) 

[fandom-puff]

Alfie Solomons on Social Media

Big thank you to @cheekypeakyblinders @peak-a-blinder and @champagneholland !! So much love and support with this lil social media themed project we’re doing! Go read their writing (linked at the bottom!) also can I just say I’m super proud of the moodboards I made for these :)

Alfie is NOT tech savvy. He’s not a complete technophobe, but he’s definitely not down with the latest trends, he doesn’t have a clue what half the pre-installed apps on his phone are for and he’s only just figured out that you can have a contacts list and that you don’t need to manually type in a whole phone number if it’s already saved on his phone.

He often forgets how to turn off caps lock, so his texts can often be misinterpreted as very angry or very excited

He also uses LOTS of abbreviations- like the normal ones (lol, wtf, ffs, cba) but then he also makes his own up which just confused everybody

Example:

It’s okay though bc the younger ones actually teach him stuff (*cough* unlike tommy abd arthur who just take the piss)

‘No right Finn mate I don’t want to fuckin download Tik tok I’ve got a fuckin watch and a little clock on the screen fucks sake’

Alfie’s in a fair few group chats- there’s the main GC that has the Shelby/gray clan (he’s there for banter and because Polly is an admin and she knows it pisses tommy off

Every morning without fail at like... 5-6 o’clock, he’ll send a bright and cheerful good morning text that’s normally not very well received. But he does it anyway bc him and Pol are the only ones awake :)

Alfie on snapchat is a different story. Literally every day there’s a picture of Cyril with a caption like ‘love of my life’ ‘best mate’ ‘don’t know what I’d do without you’

He also posts all his baked goodies onto his story too, and the random women who add him via quick add end up swooning over his floury tattooed arms bc he has a dog and he can COOK

He hasn’t got a CLUE what a private story is so every day, at least 100+ people are subjected to ‘tommy fucking Shelby has a stick up his arse pass it on’ which gets screenshotted and sent to the group chat

He doesn’t get the whole ‘streaks’ thing either

‘No I don’t wanna fucking streak with you isaiah what the fuck??? I thought your dad was a man of god and all that???’

Cue three days later on his story: “there’s fires next to some of your names right and if you die yeah, blame isaiah because he asked me to streak with him and I don’t think Jeremiah likesd that tbh and probs prayed to god to smite yous down lol’

‘Alfie it just means we’ve snapped eachother for three consecutive days mate’

His story that day: ‘sorry you’re not getting smited you lot just like sending me pictures of your ceilings ??’

Snapchat filters took him by surprise too but imagine this man’s JOY when he found out Cyril could wear funny glasses AND have a round face 🥺🥺🥺

Let’s talk YouTube. Despite not knowing how to turn caps lock off, and thinking Finn is having a stroke every time he throws it back, Alfie is quite the vlogger.

What’s starts off as mostly baking videos and rants (he likes to get things off his chest while kneading the SHIT out of some dough) quickly turns into a full on THING

He makes all sorts of videos- at least one weekly vlog with Cyril and him going on an adventure

Honestly those ones are basically asmr bc Alfie will be recording cyril with one hand and petting him and scratching behind his ears with the other and just murmuring ‘what’ve you got there mate? A rock? Tha’s fuckin brilliant that is my mate. My good boy aren’t you? Yeah... good lad... you gonna put the rock down or... no we’re fuckin... taking the fuckin rock home with us... whatever you say mate...’

Like it’s not much of a vlog like ‘hey guys it’s Alfie aka the Wandering Jew and today me and my pal are going to the park’ it’s more of a ‘watch this great big bear of a man talk very gently to a great big dog for fifteen minutes’ type of vlog

He also does the baking vids obvs, but in more of a tutorial format rather than bitching about his mate ‘Timmy’ as he develops the gluten with his sleeves rolled upto his elbows.

‘Well Jamie Oliver will tell you to do it like this’

*like 10 seconds of silence as he stares at the camera*

‘FUCK Jamie Oliver the stupid twat THIS is the right way to do it

There are normally some VERY thirsty comments about his arms.

He does a reaction video to the thirsty comments once

John read them out to him and his audience was DELIGHTED by his blush as he muttered ‘that right, is fuckin inappropriate innit? Fucking filth like that when I’m trying to teach you how to bake my nan’s bread? Terrible.’

Alfie’s new found YouTube success brings some unwanted attention too...

He doesn’t really know what to do about it so he just leaves it...

A week later, however...

Finally, lets talk messaging his significant other

Admittedly his long winded, meandering rants don’t really translate very well into text, so he much prefers to FaceTime or simply ring you

His texts are sweet though

He tries, bless him

If you don’t live together, you get a good morning and a goodnight text every night, regardless of any business.

You quickly learn to mute your phone as soon as you wake up bc he is an early bird lol

You hear the rants he doesn’t put on his story 🥺🥺

He doesn’t really use emojis but he uses them a LOT more when he texts you- mainly the heart ones

Likes your instagram posts literally as soon as they’re posted and always comments on them

‘You’re fucking beautiful you. I love you’

He does it on your snapchat story as well, sensing you your picture with a cute (or flirty) comment

SMUTTY TALK BELOW

You love texting him little flirty messages??? Just subtle ones with a cheeky double entendre.

Maybe you’re thinking about him. Maybe the sausages you had with breakfast really were juicy who knows 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Either way it gets him GOING

You use snapchat to your biggest advantage, sending him cheeky little peeks at your body, but never quite ENOUGH

He clicks off the image really quickly so you normally get a ‘Alfie💖 has replayed your snap’ notification

‘Fuck me love’

‘Later. In a meeting gtg xx’

He doesn’t really take dirty pics himself. He does, however, tell you to grab your headphones ;)

Thank you for reading! Below are the other works in this collab! Make sure to check them out 💖💖

John Shelby by @cheekypeakyblinders

Michael Gray by @champagneholland

Finn Shelby by @cheekypeakyblinders

Tommy Shelby by @peak-a-blinder

Grace burgess by @champagneholland

Arthur Shelby by @peak-a-blinder

Tag list: @the-makingsofgreatness @peakyswritings @haphazardhufflepuff @diksy1112 @zodiyack @soleil-dor @hiddensapphic @fckingpeakyblinders @snugleo @alittlebirds @satanxklaus @glamsaturn @thegirlwithoutaname87 @queenofmankind @awkwardretro @captivatedbycillianmurphy @xshinytrashcanx @hanster1998 @cheekypeakyblinders @champagneholland

[beelsnack]

Hello! Since requests are open, can I please see the brother’s reactions to an MC getting their really long curly hair cut short? Not for any bad, reason, just because MC wanted to do it. Also if it’s possible can you use gn pronouns (they/them) for this? Thank you so much! Your headcanons are the best!

Aw, you’re so welcome! I’m always down for a hair-canon, lol.

Lucifer: It was quite an accomplishment to make Lucifer do a double take.

When they had left for classes that morning, they appeared as they always did - uniform slightly askew but otherwise fairly in order, school bag bulging with all of the books they took out from the library, and, of course, their wild tangle of curls wrestled back into a very precarious ponytail.

When they returned, however, their waist length hair now settled against their jaw, styled in a carefully messy bob.

“So that’s why you’re late.” he remarked in lieu of a greeting, rising from his seat in the living room.

“Yeah, it was time for a haircut, haha,” they reached up to rub at the back of their neck, unused to the cool air against the skin there. “It was starting to get kind of ridiculous.”

Lucifer reached out, wrapping a strand around his finger thoughtfully. “You look quite satisfied with it.”

“I feel like I’ve gotten rid of five pounds worth of hair.” they grinned. “Now maybe I won’t have to buy hair ties every week.”

“How frugal,” Lucifer laughed as he let the curl bounce back into place. “It suits you.”

Mammon: “Uh, human? Where did the rest of your hair go?”

The brothers’ barging into their room unannounced was such a common occurrence that they didn’t even look up from their homework when Mammon practically kicked the door in.

“A witch stole it so she could use it in some mystical voodoo bullshit.”

“Huh?!”

They turned their head towards the doorway, rolling their eyes fondly. “I got a haircut, dummy.”

Mammon looked like his heart was about cartwheel out of his chest. “You can’t joke about that kind of stuff!”

“Sorry, sorry,” they tried to smother their giggles as Mammon pouted, stomping across the room to plant himself on the corner of the human’s desk. 

“Why d’ya cut it, anyway?”

“Taking care of it was a pain in the neck. Sometimes literally.” they shook their head, letting the short curls slap lightly against their face. “Cutting it short makes it easier to deal with, y’know?”

“I guess...” Mammon subconsciously reached out to pet their head before he realized what he was doing and backpedaled. “U-Um, I, I don’t - “

“You can touch it, I don’t mind.” they laughed, reaching out and taking a hold of his wrist. “With all the times you let me play with your hair, it’s only fair.”

Mammon would be surprised if they couldn’t feel the heat radiating from his face as they tugged his hand towards their head. Their hair was naturally a bit coarse, and it was obvious there was still some product in it from the salon, but it wasn’t unpleasant to touch. And they seemed to be enjoying themself just as much as he was.

“...You wouldn’t actually let a witch take your hair, would you?”

“Not for free.”

“That’s my human.”

Levi: Of course the group chat was blowing up when he was in the middle of a cutscene.

He considered turning on Do Not Disturb, but that would involve looking away from the screen. Knowing these particularly devs, they probably hid some of the most crucial lore bits in the background of the cutscene, and with his luck, it would be the exact second he took his eyes off of the monitor.

When he finally regained control over the character, he hit pause and picked up his D.D.D. His intention was to skim over the chat to make sure it wasn’t anything super important and then silence it, but when he saw the message log, he found himself frozen.

Human: [image]

Human: What do you guys think?

They were sitting in a salon chair, sticking their tongue out as they took the selfie. Instead of their long, wildly curling mane, their hair had been skillfully cut and styled into a bob.

Asmodeus: Ooh, that style is perfect for you!

Asmodeus: Ever since Crystal from Sucre Frenzy cut her hair, everyone’s been copying her style, but it’s such a you look!

Levi stared at the picture, not even bothering to look at the comments from his brothers. It wasn’t fair, they were too cute! Not that they weren’t cute before, but now they were super cute and - 

His D.D.D pinged, this time as a text message.

What do you think, Levi? Am I as cute as Crystal?

It took him five attempts to actually get his hands to stop shaking enough to type a coherent response.

No way.

You’re cuter.

Satan: “Is there a particular reason why you’re staring at me?”

Satan leaned forward, resting his chin on the back of his hand as he took a drink from his coffee. “You cut your hair.”

“You’re just now noticing this?” they shot back, raising an eyebrow. “I hacked off nearly a foot of hair, Satan, you’re usually more astute than this.”

“In most human literature I’ve read,” he continued. “When someone makes a dramatic change to their appearance, specifically hair, there’s a significant reason behind it.”

“The significant reason is that I’m in literal Hell, my hair retains heat, and if I die down here it isn’t going to be because of my own fucking hair.” 

Satan paused, looking a bit startled before he snorted. “Fair enough. It looks good on you.”

Asmodeus: “You’re sure about this, love?”

They were settled down in front of Asmo’s vanity, staring into the mirror. “Positive. I’ve wanted to switch up styles forever!” they played idly with the end of a curl. “Besides, if nothing else, these split ends have got to go.”

“Oh, hush,” Asmo chided as he leaned over them to grab the scissors from the vanity. “You have, like, a split end.”

“You’re only saying that because you can’t see the actual ends of my hair.”

“Be that as it may,” he laughed when they wrinkled their nose at him in the mirror. “Now, you just sit back and relax, darling. Asmo will take good care of you.”

Beelzebub: “When did you cut your hair?”

They were so used to Beel wandering into the kitchen while they were on cooking duty that they didn’t even jump when he suddenly appeared in the doorway. “Literally like an hour ago. I was almost late to start dinner because the demon in front of me would not stop trying to chat up the hairdresser.”

They grinned at him, twirling around to show off the full effect. “What do you think?”

Beel hummed. “It’s your hair.”

They tilted their head, looking slightly confused. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged. “It means that if you like it, then I like it. I like it when you’re happy.”

Although it hadn’t been his intention, the blush that appeared on their face made him feel like he had just won an award.

Belphegor: “What’s the point of you having your own bed if you’re just going to steal mine?”

Belphie cracked open one eye as the human shut the door behind them. “I miss you when you’re gone.”

The human stared back at him, unimpressed.

“Beel got crumbs in my bed and I didn’t feel like cleaning it.”

“There it is.” the human sighed, flopping down on the bed next to him. When Belphegor opened his other eye, he immediately noticed something different.

“You got a haircut.”

“Figure that out on your own?” they blew him a raspberry as they took their shoes off and settled down next to him. As was routine, he rolled over onto his back and let them lay their head on his chest. 

“Any particular reason why?” he asked, stifling a yawn. 

“I wanted to see how it would feel to go one night without being suffocated by my own hair.”

“I thought you liked being choked.”

They punched him lightly in the stomach. “Shut up.”

He hummed, bringing his hand up to card it through their hair. “I like it. It’s more fun to play with like this.”

They sighed contentedly, relaxing fully against him. “You know that’s going to put me to sleep.”

“That’s the point.”

[amethystcria]

AFTER 291 - Revisiting Twice: Was Dabi listening the whole time?

Lmao I’m so mad I didn’t post this before the leaks because wow...I was right. 

Had to re-edit some parts here but here are the evidences I believed Hori left to implied that Dabi was in fact using Twice. Whether his death was plan or not is still to be decided but... Twice was bait.

I am of the unpopular opinion that both Dabi and Hawks are responsible for Twice’s death.

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR 291

(FYI: This is rather long bc I haven’t done theories in awhile so I don’t know when to shut up and overdramatic as Dabi sometimes lol.)

It could be just a plot hole Horikoshi didn’t realize he left but it’s been simmering in my mind since all the foreshadowing of Dabi’s upcoming broadcast. And with Dabi admitting how he did think of killing Shoto, his brother, for his goals... This theory doesn’t seem so crazy now. 

Now that we know of the elaborate scheme Dabi has been planning for many years (and good for him!) coming to fruition at last! I have to wonder what role was Twice gonna have in his plan? Was Hawks apart of it too? Had they been playing their part this whole time? (Edit: With the leaks 291 the answer is yes.)

When the mansion got invaded it was so strange to me that while everyone was heading to battleground, Dabi, turned the other way. He was heading toward Twice. Why? How? We all knew that when the raid started Skeptic put the blame on Twice + Hawks and tried to find them. He couldn’t because Hawks had removed the mini cams by then. So how did Dabi know where Twice was located and that he was being targeted?

The only way Dabi would know is if he had been keeping tabs on Twice and Hawks. Becoming familiar enough with their habits and thinking to make the conclusion that Hawks would trap Twice in that specific room. We already know Dabi never trusted Hawks and yet he allowed him to get close to Twice. Why? Especially if he could guess that Twice had become Hawks intended target in his double agent agenda. Unless this is what he wanted...

Which is already pretty bad using an ally like this. If Dabi didn’t want Hawks to get Twice he would have mention it beforehand. He had to have wanted this. But hey let’s give Dabi the benefit of the doubt that maybe he allow this because he thought he had high possibility of avoiding the worst outcome: Twice’s death

But then that would mean Dabi was willing to risk Twice’s life in luring Hawks which is what I think he did. 

But did he really?

(I’ll be using the official viz’s translation for these lines quotes but the japanese raws to show there’s no differentiation between word usage in the images itself.)

Chapter 265 Dabi: Looks like sentiment tripped you up after all, hero! Hawks: I could never allow mere sentiment to trip me up.

We know that when Dabi finally reached Twice’s location that he did not immediately come to his rescue. He waited for an opening and him throwing Hawks’s words back at him then always seem like an indication of his arrival time.

However in the following chapter, 266: Happy Life, Dabi retorts one of Hawks’ line again. It’s easy to miss since it’s only one word this time and not a whole sentence. I didn’t catch it until several rereads later.

Dabi: He was just 'unlucky,' huh? Maybe by your screwed-up standards

Hawks: You've just been unlucky, but you can make a fresh start once you pay for your crimes.

We can see that Dabi is quoting a phrase in his thoughts. He is not saying this. And ordinarily this would be fine except when Hawks said this line to Twice, Dabi was nowhere near to hear this. We see at the end of chapter 264 that Dabi is still running up the stairs...

Unless Hawks was yelling this line which I doubt. Or the time passage between these two panels are different somehow, again: press doubt, Dabi should have not been able to hear this line but he did. How? Either this is an overlook on Horikoshi’s part or Dabi somehow had bugged the room. Pretty wild of a guess especially when Hawks would have taken out any cameras I think...but if Dabi had been overhearing their conversation this whole time then it make sense why he had certain trail of thought passed his mind in this panel.

Panel Above Dabi: Twice. This isn't your fault. As always... scummy heroes are to blame.

Twice was despairing in this chapter blaming himself for once again falling for a trap. I always thought it was very nakama-like that Dabi could SOMEHOW sense Twice’s plead and reply to his soul. “This isn’t your fault” is the closest to an apologize from Dabi, because really isn’t his fault. It’s Dabi’s. And god if he had been listening this whole damn time no wonder he thought this when he did. Of course he could’ve also just heard Twice’s agony scream (sfx seen on the top)...

I could go on longer about how Dabi faked shock on Hawks escaping his hold, how his little show of comradery with Twice in combating Hawks was an act in itself. And his reaction toward Twice’s death, the word choice usages, the tone of it all was quite theatrical. Good show, Dabi!! 

It had to have been if it was being recorded. Gotta play the good ally, right?

I always did wonder why there was such a focus on his hand on these panels in the infamous black speech bubble chapter. It’s not like the other panels where the focus is there because of his burns. He had something in his grasp to hide.

Chapter 291 Spoiler:

It was one of Skeptic’s cameras. 

That makes me wonder something though. Was this when he cut off the film? And if so, why? If he knew Skeptic was gonna see it and the world why end the recording there after torturing Hawks? Y’know aside from obviously saying he doesn’t care about the league, etc.

Are we really so sure that this bubble had his name? Or could there be something else? There’s a good chance this censor wasn't just a tease but indication of when the camera stop for a moment.

I gotta say if Dabi’s pre recording still going on then I fear for his next card drawn. What are the chances he recorded some students on the battlefield as well? Students who shouldn’t be there in the first place whose parents have no clue their child/ren are a participant of war. As far as they know they’re suppose to be on a field trip for their work study program. Oh man are hero society gonna have a field day if that’s reveal~

One thing for sure though. Twice was bait. Whether it went according to Dabi’s original plan can be up for debate(as in his death being the goal...since 291 SPOILER: Dabi’s pre-recording voice only mention Hawks killing Jeanist, not Twice) but Dabi was satisfied with the end result either way. R.I.P. TWICE You were such a swell guy but too easy to use. It happens. You had a good life.

[hollyxqx]

PLAYING WITH FIRE  //  YOONGI  //  05

↪PARING: Min Yoongi x Reader ↪ GENRE: angst » smut » idol!au » enemies to lovers ↪ SUMMARY: Yoongi hates you. Or at least he thinks he does. (AKA the one where you work for BigHit and Yoongi is bad at feelings). ↪ WORD COUNT: 6k ↪ WARNINGS: heavy angst | sex | secret relationships | jealousy | mild possessive behaviour a/n: don’t hate me too much for this chapter lol i promise its for a reason.

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE | SIX

Yoongi could barely control the toothy grin that spread across his face as you practically skipped down the hallway, hand firmly encasing his. It was 1am, the perfect time for a secret rendezvous with someone he wasn't supposed to be with. Talk about taking control of the situation and being smart. People say it all the time but he literally couldn't help himself when it came to you.

Where you were taking him he wasn't aware; Yoongi was happy to be led as long as it was with you. You urged him on further with an encouraging smile thrown over your shoulder. He couldn't control how his heart skipped a beat.

"We can't go in here!" He hissed when he realised what you were up to.

"Be quiet." You reprimanded, holding a finger to his lips for a moment before you pushed open a fire escape door. He was almost certain this was at the very best was frowned upon and at worst - illegal. Left and right he looked up and down the deserted corridor double and triple checking that you were absolutely alone. The coast was clear.

Disobeying every instinct inside that was screaming this is not a good idea he followed you through the open door into the cool air of the concrete stairwell. You kept your grip on his hand tight as you dragged him up the flight of stairs.

"Where are you taking me?" He questioned aloud.

"Almost there." You ignored the question, panting a little from the exertion of this many steps. "It's worth it, I promise."

To his absolute horror you pushed open a door marked 'rooftop: do not enter' as if it was nothing. A thousand terrible images flashed through his mind of him getting caught doing something so wild and then being kicked out of BangTan and having his home country hate him. You could sense his reluctance.

"Yoongi, it's fine, I promise. The night manager of the hotel is a friend of mine. We're not going to get in trouble." You assured. He shot you a confused look.

"Wha - ? How do you know the manager?" He couldn't help but ask.

"Friend of my dad's. I lived in LA during the summer when I was younger you know."

He didn't actually know that. You hadn't really disclosed much about your life before moving to Korea to him and he hadn't asked, hesitant to pry too much assuming you'd tell him if you wanted him to have that information. "Oh." He muttered dumbly.

Now that you were outside the chill air of the summer night felt refreshing and he inhaled deeply, taking it in along with the view of the city below. He looked up at the sky, disappointed that the LA pollution hid the stars in the sky. Turning back to you, Yoongi watched as you wedged the metal door open with a wooden doorstop so it didn't close behind you both.

"The view is great huh?" You asked as you strode over to him.

He looked at you. "It is." He swallowed thickly.

You gently nudged him over to the furthermost concrete edge of the building. He wrapped an arm around your side and  held you tightly against him. "Do you see that tower over there?" You pointed somewhere to the left and he squinted, nodding when he saw what you were talking about. "That's where my father used to live. When my parents divorced that's where I would stay when I came to visit."

"How old were you when they separated?" He asked quietly, a gentle hand stroking your side comfortingly.

"Eleven." You hummed softly. "It was a lot, going back and forth between here and Britain alone but I'm thankful for it now. It made me brave enough to go to new places. Hence Korea."

"I had no idea." He felt a little foolish for not asking more about you sooner. It always seemed as if there never was enough time when you were together, every moment was stolen. He was thankful for the opportunity to learn now however. "I just assumed you were brave. Or stupid. One of the two." He teased, squeezing your hip affectionately.

You rolled your eyes, swatting him on the chest playfully. "There's a fine line between courage and stupidity but I'm going to assume there's a compliment in there somewhere."

Unable to stop himself he placed a tender kiss against your brow, feeling closer to you emotionally in that moment than ever before. Your eyes fluttered shut at his touch. "We're leaving tomorrow." He said quietly, wrapping his other arm around your waist. "This will be the last time we're in each other's company for a long time."

"Yeah." You sighed sadly. "We're both at that point in our lives where our career's are taking off and taking up all of time."

"Timing has never been a strength of mine." He quipped. "When I moved to Seoul I promised myself I would work as hard as possible, with zero distractions. Then I met you."

"Kiss me, Yoongi." You pleaded faintly. He was planning on doing that anyway. Dipping his head he slowly leaned forward, eyes flickering from your mouth to your lips and back again. His lips pressed to yours delicately, carefully, ever so slightly sucking your bottom lip as he pulled away. If this was going to the last time he did not want to rush.

This was a moment he wanted to remember.

"Thank you for bringing me here and sharing more of yourself with me." He murmured against your lips. "I like getting to see more of you."

The way you blushed didn't go amiss and it only made him kiss you harder this time around. Fingertip under your chin he tilted your head upwards for him so you were at the perfect angle, allowing him to gently slip his tongue into your mouth. You rotated in his arms so you were chest to chest and pressed yourself against him.

When you eventually broke apart, you stood on your tiptoes and pressed your foreheads together, smiling like love drunk fools at each other. "You are the best kisser." You giggled.

"I think you bring it out in me." He grinned.

You stood normally again and hugged him, burying your face in his neck. He held you close, just savouring the moment, enjoying having you in his arms. Minutes passed and he felt like he could stay like this for hours. "Yoongi?" You asked, voice muffled by his skin.

The tone of your voice had changed suddenly and it made him nervous. "Yeah?" His throat felt dry.

"What happens now?"

The million dollar question, the one he often asked himself in the quiet hours of the morning unable to sleep and unable to stop his overthinking brain spiral with the 'what ifs'. Truthfully, he didn't know. The only thing that seemed to work for your relationship was taking every moment as it comes. No expectations; no disappointment.

"I don't know." He answered honestly.

"We've been so lucky this far. If people find out - "

" - I know."

It goes without saying. Everyone has seen the articles and the vitriol that spreads like wildfire whenever an idol is caught being anything less than perfect. A relationship is certainly out of the question. A relationship with a staff member, absolutely never.

"I don't want to say this." You began. His stomach dropped and all he wanted to do was kiss you into silence so he didn't have to hear the words that were about to follow that ominous sentence. Everything was perfect right now and he didn't want it to be ruined. It had been a long, arduous road to this point.

"Your career is important to me." You continued. "Just because I don't work for you anymore doesn't mean I don't care. I do. Tremendously. That's why I want to see you do well, well all of the boys obviously. Which is why," You lifted your head to look him in the eye. "I don't think we should continue whatever...this is."

He'd be lying to himself if he hadn't expected this at some point, considering everything had felt like some sort of dream so far. He swallowed thickly, trying not to show you how your words had made him almost feel winded. "If that's what you want."

"No!" You protested, shaking your head frantically. "You misunderstand. I don't want that. Not even a part of me wants that. There is so much going on for both of us and we're young enough that we can be a little selfish and focus on work for a bit. Unfortunately we're in an industry where we can't exactly be open about being together. And we're both so busy is it really fair?"

He sighed.

"I think I get it." He said eventually. "It just fucking sucks. I wish I could date you. Y'know, properly. It's funny, when I was a kid I was so shy I never would have spoken to a girl like you." He laughed at himself. "I'd probably be too nervous to date you if you hadn't started working with us and I'd gotten to know you."

"You? Shy?" You scoffed. " No way. I've seen you onstage don't forget. That is not a shy boy, that's a god damn sexy man."

"It's true!" He contested, wide eyed. "I never wanted to perform. I just wanted to make music."

"Yeah? I didn't know that." You smiled fondly. "Where would our first date be do you think?"

"We've already had it." He smirked, thinking back to the concert you went to together and how he'd spent most of the night watching your reactions.

"Please - that doesn't count. I'm talking about the hypothetical world where I meet shy Yoongi."

He laughed a little. "For our first official date I'd take you for dinner somewhere nice," He hummed pausing in thought. "Then maybe a walk along the beach afterwards. I think something out of the city would suit us."

"You're so cute." You kissed his nose. "I agree, away from the city is better."

"Then, I'd want to kiss you at the end of the date. But I'd probably bottle it at the last second and do something awkward instead."

The two of you shared a genuine laugh. "I would have liked to meet him."

"You'll have to settle for me, sorry."

"He's okay I guess." You smiled, kissing him again. "Nice Yoongi."

"So after tonight we're definitely not doing this again?" He asked to confirm. It felt terrible even saying the words aloud.

"It's for the best. Not forever, just...until we're settled. Then we can do it properly right? No sneaking around?"

His stomach lurched but he nodded anyway. That sounded a lot like forever to him. It wasn't fair, he wanted this to run it's course naturally and once again, being an idol was interfering with his life. As thankful as he was for his career, sometimes he yearned for a little normality.

***

Yoongi's not entirely sure how it happened but it doesn't take long for him to be pushing you roughly up against the concrete wall of the stairwell, sliding his hands up and underneath your shirt. It wasn't his intention but he couldn't help himself. If this was the last time he was going to make it count. You had tried to leave but he'd pulled you back to him, desperate to have you once more.

"Not here," You told him breathlessly. He grunted in agreement but didn't stop, shoving a muscled thigh between your legs to give you something to grind on and guided your hips for you. He just wanted to hear you moan for him and you did. "Seriously, not here. Let's go to my room."

It's easy to slip back to your hotel room unnoticed given the lateness of the hour. He's careful to keep his hands off of you until you're safely behind a locked door.

He laid you down on the bed and hovered over you. The bruise he'd sucked into your skin the day before had darkened over night. As he kissed it he smirked. He was going to leave more tonight wherever he could, purple marks that said I was here, here and here. Maybe you'd remember for a while that you were his at one point, in some way shape or form.

"You're going to think about the way I fuck you tonight for months." He smirked into you skin with a smile and he meant it. You groaned out loud at his words, clutching desperately at him. "I promise." He assured, nipping at your ear.

"I do that anyway." You breathed a laugh as he kneeled on his haunches to have better access to rid you of your skin tight jeans. "The amount of times I've touched myself thinking of you..."

Yoongi froze. He peered up at you through the dark hair that hung in his eyes. "Tell me more." He urged. "What do you think about?" Your jeans were gone and your panties soon followed. He slowly ran his hands up the inside of your thighs before spreading them open for him. "Better yet, show me."

He guided your hand between your legs, encouraging you to masturbate for him. The way you shyly bit your lip as if you were nervous made him weak. His thumbs rubbed circles on your inner thighs as he watched your fingers move intently. "Tell me what you think about." He repeated. He wanted to hear it so badly.

"Mostly I," You took a shaky breath, thighs flexing slightly underneath his palms. "I think about you eating me out. A lot."

"Yeah?" He laid down on his stomach and licked a stripe up your cunt next to your working fingers. "I love eating you out." You stopped for a moment but he placed his hand on yours, telling you to keep going so he could watch how wet you were getting for him.

He rested his head on your thigh, gently sucking a bruise on the tender flesh, making you moan out loud. He kissed the forming bruise a few times after he was satisfied, throwing a smirk your way when you realised what he had done.

"Remember the first time we fucked? On the bus?" Yoongi nodded. "I think about that a lot too."

"Why?"

"Because you're so much dirtier than I thought you were." You both laughed a little. "I love it when you fuck me open with your fingers, feels so good. Honestly I just love it when you just hold me down and fuck me, Yoongi."

He tried to hold in the groan that was bubbling in the back of his throat. Right now he had the patience of a saint, because that's all he wanted to do too. He rid himself of his clothing and hovered over you slowly stroked his aching cock as he watched you, desperate for even a little bit of relief.

"Yoongi I want you." You moaned, back arching off the mattress so much so that your breasts pressed against his chest. "Please."

He wanted you too but was only delaying himself so this moment in time could be frozen a little longer. As soon the sex was over, everything was over.

Lacing his hands through each of yours he pressed them down on the bed next to your head as he pushed his stiff length inside of you. It was so warm and tight and wonderful he stilled completely as soon as he was sheathed, just to commit this moment to memory.

He attached his lips to your neck to distract him from the overwhelming sensation that was already beginning to build. "You're so fucking pretty, baby." He mumbled into your skin. He could smell you; your perfume, your natural body scent and he wanted to drown in it, commit it to memory forever. "I'm lucky I ever got to have you like this."

His hips moved of their own accord, thrusting into you. You keened and moaned, squeezing his hands at the sensation. He always loved how responsive you were to his touch. "It feels amazing. So good Yoongi. You're so perfect."

There was too much he wanted to say. He was afraid of spilling every wonderful thing he'd ever thought about you in that moment. This was an ending. A goodbye of sorts. He couldn't. So he focused all his energy into making you feel as good as possible and not on the things he wanted to say.

He touched your clit with his thumb, just how he knew you liked, feeling you tighten around him. There was a sense of pride every time he made you cum, getting to see you at your peak, just for him. He doubted you were had been like this with other partners before.

"Let me see you cum," He husked, gazing down at you. "Just one more time. Cum for me pretty girl."

You responded to his encouragement by whining his name as you clamped around him. He kept going, stimulating you into over sensitivity and only stopping when you clutched at his wrist, signalling you'd had enough.

Yoongi hoisted you up so you were pressed chest to chest, resting back on his haunches. Desperately he kissed you, tasting some of the sweat that had formed on your upper lip. His hands slid down your body, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his waist. He almost felt as if he couldn't get close enough to you.

"You think you can go again?" He breathed against your lips.

"I don't know but I'm happy to try." You smiled breathlessly as you clung to him.

In a flash he had you on your front, knees straddling your thighs as he entered you again. He leaned down, caging you in with his body and pressing you into the mattress. As his hips slapped against your ass he kissed your shoulders sloppily. He wasn't going to last much longer. You felt too good.

"Fuck me just like that Yoongi." You gasped, hands curling in the sheets, gripping them tightly. "Please, please, please."

Fuck, he was going to cum. Before he could he pulled out and squeezed the base of his cock delaying his impending orgasm. You looked at him, brow furrowed in confusion over your shoulder. You tried to push back on him but he stopped you.

"Turn over baby." He groaned. You rolled onto your back, reaching for him. "Don't want to come too soon." He exhaled, pushing back into you. You whimpered.

Yoongi pushed both of your legs together and rested them over his shoulder as he leaned into you. The angle was much deeper than before and he went as hard as he could. "I'm close again Yoongi, I might come like this." You panted.

"Come like this." He almost begged.

"Yoongi." You almost cried. "Yoongi."

It only encouraged him. He wanted you to come without having to touch yourself. The pace he kept was relentless. "Baby, please. Let go for me."

You did. He followed shortly after, holding himself with a hard thrust inside of you, holding himself as deeply in you as possible. "Fuck." He swore against your skin when he came.

You pushed some hair off of his face. "So good." You murmured, nuzzling into him. "So good."

When both of you reluctantly had cleaned up, maintaining some sort of distance you walked him to the door. Kissing him deeply as a depature was a surprise, but he welcomed it nonetheless.

"Yoongi, this isn't goodbye."

He frowned at your words.

"Yoongi this isnt goodbye. It's see you later. I promise."

***

Blearily he walked back to the room he shared with Namjoon, a little worse for wear and a lot exhausted. Normally after a night with you he would be feeling pretty great about now. There was a heavy emptiness he carried with him this time. Everything would be fine, he knew that having been through much worse in his life, but that rationale still didn't stop him from feeling shitty.

He slipped into the room to find Namjoon already up and on the phone, ordering some room service. He nodded to Yoongi in acknowledging hello. Yoongi shrugged off his jacket and shoes, throwing himself on to his twin bed with a long yawn and closed his eyes. Maybe he could have a quick rest before his turn in the shower.

"I ordered you breakfast, I figured you'd be back in time." Namjoon spoke. Yoongi hummed, unable to open his eyes. "Did you sleep at all last night hyung?"

"Nope."

"You're an animal." Namjoon laughed, correctly assuming what his friend had been up to.

"I'll sleep on the plane." Yoongi yawned again, mentally counting how many hours until the flight. If he could make it through the next six he could rest. He needed coffee urgently.

"Do you mind if I shower first?" Namjoon asked.

"Go ahead. If I'm asleep wake me up when you get out." Yoongi rolled onto his side, curling into a ball. He desperately wanted to quell the ache in his chest, chastising himself for being ridiculous. He found himself dozing off as he heard the soothing sound of the shower start to run.

It felt like thirty seconds had passed when Namjoon shook him awake, but one look at the clock told him it had been close to thirty minutes. Even though he'd requested the wake up call he still grumbled as he groggily sat up. "I'm going to shower."

"Breakfast will be here in about five."

Yoongi nodded and went to the bathroom. He washed and brushed his teeth quickly, eager to get to the coffee that was due imminently. When he returned to the room Namjoon was setting up the food for the two of them.

"Need coffee." Yoongi muttered, going straight for a mug and the pot.

"You're so grouchy when you're tired." Namjoon teased. Which in all fairness was true, but he was grouchy for more reasons than lack of sleep. He was going to have to explain to Namjoon sooner or later, the prospect of which made him feel embarrassed.

They said nothing else as they ate. Yoongi looked at his phone, caught up on some messages and emails he'd missed while with you.

"Y/N ended things with me." Yoongi eventually said. Namjoon looked at him in surprise he went to speak but Yoongi stopped him. "It's for the best. Yes I'm fine, no I don't want to talk about it."

"I..." Namjoon hesitated, confused. "Okay."

"I don't really feel like telling everyone else so if you could, yknow if it comes up. It's not a big deal."

"Sure." Namjoon was still looking at him peculiarly. "Whatever you need."

"It really isn't a big deal."

"I know, you said so."

Yoongi didn't know who he was trying to convince, himself or his friend. He couldn't wait to be on the flight and unconscious for twelve hours.

***

It was business as usual when he landed in Seoul. They had the afternoon off before a night time practice session. Yoongi was thankful to be thrown straight into the deep end with work, it was a welcome distraction. If Namjoon had told the others about you and him, he didn't know. Either way no one mentioned you and for that he was grateful. In time he'd forget and move on.

He didn't entirely trust nor believe you when you said this was on hold, not over. It would be in his best interests to assume it was done for good, he told himself. He'd pined and lusted after you for so long now, he wasn't going to do it anymore. He couldn't allow himself the luxury of that interference. Music came first now, always.

You promised to stay in touch but he wasn't going to hold his breath. Not because he assumed you disliked him but because he knew first hand how busy you were at the moment. A new boy group to manage doesn't leave a lot of free time for a social life, especially with someone who was as busy as yourself. So for now, being your friend was good enough. He wouldn't go back to being cold to you, he'd be the nice, shy Yoongi he promised you he was.

***

The first time he heard from you was through text. Roughly one month after LA. He wasn't expecting it.

from: y/n i'm watching your live stream ;-) nice sweater vest, you look like my dad

He didn't normally look at his phone during his solo lives, so he only received the text after he'd already turned off the connection. He laughed at the text before sending you a reply, defending his taste in fashion. You didn't reply to that text.

The next few weeks turned into months and you remained in contact solely through text.

from: y/n a little birdie @ bighit told me you're going to be blonde for the comeback send me pics!

from: yoongi who spilled?  [ i m a g e  s e n t ]

from: y/n cute cute cute i love it

from: yoongi your turn to send me a pic not bc i miss your face.  I just forgot what you look like

from: y/n [ i m a g e  s e n t ]

from: yoongi there she is now i remember

from: yoongi: you're going to be at the MAMA's?

from: y/n yup

from: yoongi if u get time come say hi

***

"Let me get this straight. You went from hating her, to sleeping with her, to sort of dating, then not dating and now you're constantly flirting with each other through text? My head hurts."

Yoongi looked at Seokjin and shrugged, as they both towelled the sweat off their brows after performing. Waiting in the wings of the stage until it was time to return to their seats. He didn't really have a good explanation for it either. In his mind he was just being friendly. Not that he would speak to every one of his female friends like this. Yoongi double checked to make sure no one could overhear them.

"We're just friends. You all talk to her as well." He defended.

"Not like that I don't." Seokjin smirked. "As if she sends me selfies. Don't think I didn't clock that one. Come on, Yoongi hyung."

"It's complicated." Yoongi sighed, accepting defeat. "I don't think her and I can be just friends but I'm trying."

"It's complicated because of all the loooooove." He laughed, nudging Yoongi with his elbow, who then proceeded to swat at him like he was a pestering insect.

"Shut up." He grumbled.

"She's here tonight, I passed her earlier but she was on the phone." Jin informed him. Yoongi knew that already. "I bet you end up in bed together again. Both of you are fooling yourselves."

Yoongi rolled his eyes and took that as his cue to leave the conversation. A tiny, deeply hidden part of him hoped that would be the case but he wouldn't dare allow himself to feel that. Hope was a dangerous thing.

He wonders if you're feeling as much anticipation and trepidation as he does. Even that thought creates a knot in his stomach.

"Hey blondie." He knew it was you before he looked, turning on his heel to face you. You ruffled his newly blonde locks with a grin.  "You were amazing tonight."

"Thanks." He broke out into a genuine smile, fixing his now mussed up hair. "How've you been?"

"Busy. Good." You answered, returning his smile. It had been months since he'd seen you and he cursed himself for getting so excited just being in your general vicinity. He was supposed to be moving in the other direction. The getting over you for good direction. You waved at Seokjin over his shoulder before your phone chimed with an incoming message. "I've got to run, but we'll be at the BigHit building later? See you there?"

"Yeah, sure."

You're gone as quick as you had appeared, leaving Yoongi dumbstruck in your wake.

Yoongi never saw you that night after everything. Bangtan had won a total of five awards, so he was on a high and looking to celebrate with everyone. He texted you but was left on read with no response. At the very least he had expected a response of congratulations, but his inbox remained empty.

Seokjin was wrong about you ending up together, and Yoongi was disappointed. He should have known better.

*** Time off is a rarity, so to have five entire weeks of schedule free days ahead of him had Yoongi excited. Personal projects that had taken a back seat were now finally able to be a priority for him and he was looking forward to holing himself in the studio for a few days and making some progress. Namjoon and Jimin were going travelling while the rest of the boys were going home to their families.

He had only vague plans to visit his own family but when his mother sent a guilt inducing text, Yoongi made those plans concrete. Nothing like a mother's disappointment to motivate you. He knew he needed to make more of an effort.

Daegu still always felt like home, no matter how long he had been away. Even just the smell of his house (usually whatever his mom was cooking combined with fresh laundry and flowers) made him feel comfortable. His mom gave him a bone crushing hug the instant she first saw him. He definitely had left it too long this time. Yoongi made a mental note to visit more.

It felt good to have a family meal. He remembered sadly that the last time he had shared a table with his parents had been his grandfather's funeral. It wasn't often that Yoongi thought he worked too much or too hard, but he certainly wondered now.

He forced his mother to relax while he washed the dishes, knowing how tirelessly she worked to provide for her family. He just wanted to do something nice for her, however minor or insignificant it seemed to him he knew she would appreciate it.

Yoongi's mother essentially pushed him out the door when he tried to clean the entire kitchen. He had plans with some childhood friends (not that he was particularly excited about them) and his mom knew. She yelled at him with a laugh to go enjoy himself and stop re-arranging her kitchen. Somewhat reluctantly he trudged to the bar he'd agreed to meet at.

They'd been coming to this place since Yoongi was sixteen. As soon as they realised they could get away with buying beer and not having to show ID it became a regular hang out spot for him and his friends. It's not the most amazing place he's ever been to but there's a sense of nostalgia here now that keeps them all coming back.

A quick scan of the room enabled Yoongi to spot Jongdae, sat in the back right corner of the somewhat busy bar. He weaved through the tables, greeting his old friend with a hug when he reached him.

"Even though you're so famous now you haven't changed a bit." Jongdae laughed, patting him on the back. Yoongi merely shook his head with a smile. "There's something I have to tell you - Ara's coming tonight."

"What?" Yoongi frowned, confused. "Does she know I'm - ?"

"Yeah. She knows."

Ara was Yoongi's one and only official girlfriend he'd ever had in his life. They had met in school and dated on an off for years before going separate ways. There was never any animosity between them, but there certainly was no love lost on his part either. He couldn't even remember the last time he spoke to her. He could remember her crying her eyes out when he ended things however. It still made him feel like a total dick, even to this day.

Ara was an adult who just happened to be a part of his childhood friend group. Yoongi was sure she'd moved on. He wasn't in the mood for a stifled awkward evening.

When she arrived she had Jonghyun and Jun in tow. Jongdae beckoned them over to the table. Ara gave Yoongi a polite hello and he relaxed, tension of anticipating an awkward arrival dissipating.

Most of the conversation was centred on him, much to his dismay. Yoongi was an idol and his friends found joy in playfully mocking him.

"He isn't even wearing makeup for us, guess we're not that special." Jongdae teased, squinting at Yoongi's face and pretending to look for traces of non existent foundation.

"Ah, fuck off." Yoongi couldn't help but grin. "You don't understand how irritating wearing makeup is."

"You would know." Jun laughed. Yoongi didn't miss Ara's laugh either.

"Idol life isn't easy." Jongdae mocked. "Just being rich and adored all the time. God, how awful."

"I wish," Yoongi scoffed. "At least you can have a girlfriend without everyone hating you." He said before he could think, alcohol loosening his tongue. Ara looked at him curiously.

"True, true." Jongdae agreed. "You must date a little though? On the down low?"

"I did for a while. It's hard." Yoongi sighed, cursing himself for putting a damper on the conversation. He needed to stop talking before he revealed too much.

"You're single now?" Ara asked, taking him by surprise.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm single."

***

He was an idiot for ending up in this situation. This is why I don't drink went through his head as he followed Ara into her home, her fingers laced through his to guide him where she wanted him. He wasn't drunk, he knew what he was doing, he'd just had enough alcohol to lower his inhibitions. Ara was a warm, willing body who wanted him and Yoongi was lonely.

Thoughts of you were creeping into his subconscious and he shook his head, as if to clear his mind. No. He couldn't and wouldn't think of you now. You didn't want him and Ara did. He'd be a fool to even consider you in this moment. Yet he couldn't help himself, memories flashing before his eyes. Like reverse psychology. The more he didn't want to think of you the more he did.

When Ara's lips touched his cock his eyes squeezed shut, willing the image of your lips around him away.  A horrible, gut wrenching thought entered his mind - the idea that you might be doing this with someone else right now and he felt sick. He gripped on to Ara's hair as if to anchor himself to reality. The reality that it was not you who he was in bed with.

It took him forever to cum, despite the enthusiasm Ara gave to the blow job. He was too much in his own head, drowning in memories. If she was offended she didn't show it, much to his relief. Yoongi did his best to get her off as well, not that he had much desire to but he wasn't selfish.

He snuck out of her room before sunrise, feeling a mixture of shame and remorse. All he wanted to do was go home and shower.

He thought about you several times on the walk to his house and wondered if the feeling was mutual. Maybe you were just better at compartmentalizing than he was. Yoongi was a textbook overthinker. He was struggling and admitting it to himself as he stumbled through the streets at 5am felt pathetic. Maybe he should have fought harder for you.

MASTERLIST

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki Drama Shinsengumi Oni-tan Track 2 Translation

well... finally got around to finishing ssl’s harada’s cross short stories... been super sleepy this week... which doesn't help with me being swamped with stuff to study since i finally booked the exam for the aws course im taking... it’ll be a month and half before I can resume my normal pace for all things... that is assuming I’m still stuck at home doing nothing aside from looking for a job. oh well. lol. im in the health>everything category... stay safe people!

anyway, this is my translation of Shinsengumi Oni-tan track 2! according to the drama info page, I believe this is the very first audio drama that either Amagiri’s or Shinaranui’s VA participated in tho i can’t remember who it was... however, this cd is definitely both VAs’ first appearance in a Hakuoki drama.  

due to content of this, out of all the dramas i have TL for, i’ve wanted this translated the most... unfortunately since all i got for resources are images and a video of the translation, it’s a serious pain in my ass to translate it since my CH word recognition ability is very bad...

well, no pain no gain as they say... though i think i suffer way more than what i get back in return lol. finals edits will be done later when i get to making my subtitle video (delayed due to me being busy).

anyway, enjoy~!!!! 

do not repost elsewhere or else! 

Hakuoki Drama CD: Shinsengumi Oni-tan Track 2: A Letter from the Yase

Translation by KumoriYami

Shiranui: Ah~ahah~ really, this is turning out to be a real hassle. hey, Amagiri, have you read this letter?

Amagiri: Yes, I've already checked it. Having received a letter from the Yase princess, I was contemplating on what should be done next.

Shiranui: Then, what's to be done [what do you plan on doing?]. Do you intend to/Should we tell Kazama about this? If it's anything related to that guy, it'll be even more troublesome.

Amagiri: I don't blame your way of thinking, but because he is the leader of the western clans, there's no choice but to inform him of this.

Shiranui: Mah~ na.

Kazama: Amagiri, you've come.

Shiranui: oh, you're finally here.

Kazama: Shiranui. Why are you here?

Amagiri: His presence today is owed to oni relations.

Kazama: What business do you have. If there's nothing, hurry up and go.

Shiranui: mah, mah, quit being so inflexible. Compared to that, what's the matter with you. I just had nothing important to do so I went out. Were you checking on that girl's condition/situation [check for Kazama in audio here]?

Kazama: Of course. My wife has constantly been mistreated by those wild dogs. To check on her situation is my/the duty/obligation as a/of the husband.

Shiranui: I was only joking. However you actually did that./You actually went [check audio for if sounds like a question]?

Amagiri: I'll be asking this just in case, [but] you didn't forcefully touch her/come into contact with her right?

Kazama: Hmph, how could that possibly happen. As long as my wife sees me, she will graciously cheer aloud [roughly says: thankfully cheer for (me). reword later?]. So today I only watched her from a distance.

Shiranui: You should really learn how to distinguish/what the difference between screaming and cheering is.

Amagiri: Observing from a distance, this type of activity is still not appropriate as a leader.

Kazama: The next time I'd like to prepare glasses to watch her from a distance [or maybe: something to watch her from a distance. the version i used for this translation says glasses.... check other tl later since im assuming this to be binoculars/telescope], but I won't be talking about that now. Instead of that, there's something you should know.  

Shiranui: Ah? It's not going to be something boring again right?

Kazama: It can be considered boring/simple/ can't be considered complicated, in a sense.  This was something that just happened after I encountered the Shinsengumi recently on my way back. I don't know why, [but] among that pack of dogs, [there seems] to be someone who's inherited the blood of the oni.

Shiranui: Eh... Amagiri: Hmm

Kazama: What's with that response? That reaction, are the two of you thinking that I'm an idiot?

Amagiri: No. We didn't mean to imply that, but how could that be?

Shiranuui: To confirm then, you saw an oni that wasn't Kodo's daughter?

Kazama: They're unrelated to my wife, I saw a young man, it's impossible for me to mistaken the characteristic [not sure if this is more of the 'mistaken in what i saw' sense or unable to be mistaken in this' kind of sense. check other tl after], he must have inherited the blood of the oni.

Shiranui: It turns out it was like that. Indeed, this can be considered simple/not complicated. Actually, this was sent/delivered recently.

Kazama: What is it, that letter.

Amagiri: Nn. This was from the oni living in Kyoto, Princess Yase's envoy delievered it.

Kazama: Huh. Is that woman finally going to bow down before me?

Shiranui: Why do you immediately imagine that.

Kazama: Then, don't be surprised otherwise [roughly says something to the effect of 'don't leave a man's appetite in suspense' so i put down what i thought made more sense. double check both tls later], hurry up and read the letter.

Shiranui:......."To Amagiri, Shiranui, also Kazama" Ah, by the way I added that in because it doesn't make sense [to not do so], [though] this letter was mainly directed towards me and Amagiri [check other tl later].

Kazama:......By the way [check audio and other tl], Shiranui. Are you deliberately adding in details while reading this to make this more interesting [literally: to add oil and vinegar, which figuratively means: 'adding details while telling a story (to make it more interesting)']?

Shiranui: Don't use such unpleasant words, that's basically how it reads.

Kazama: Che, it seems that Kyoto's oni do not know much about manners/etiquette. It seems that oni princess has inherited that lunacy of her ancestor [the translation of "血肿," used here means hematoma/swelling of soft tissue due internal hemorrhage... so I put in what I kinda thought was appropriate given the time period]. How laughable [check other tl. i’d guess ‘amusing’ though].

Amagiri: Can I continue reading this? [continue with this]

Kazama: Ah... Hurry up continue reading. What's wrong with that guy [check tl]?

Amagiri: "then before I get to the main point, I will first say, if you're still coveting Kodo's daughter, you should give up," she said.

Kazama: That's ridiculous.

Amagiri: It seems that the Yase Princess is speculating that, she [that girl] is fond of someone in the Shinsengumi. Perhaps it's he harsh/strict and strong Hijikata... or perhaps it’s Okita or Saito, who are excellent swordsmen/have superior swordsmanship. Of course, it's possible that it's Todou or Harada, since it's hard to guess/determine who it might be [reword later].

Kazama: That's utter nonsense/what a load of nonsense [check audio. the tl is the same where it says 'that's ridiculous']! Get to the point.

Shiranui: Really, you're impulsive as ever. Anyway, it says that a different clan [while i use the word 'clan' here, and most of the other times i see the word '族', it can also mean race/nationality/ethnicity/social group (ex - office workers). may use "group" since it's more ambiguous when I get to making the video] of oni entered Kyoto not so long ago.

Kazama: Oh? there are [other] oni in Kyoto? Where are these oni from?

Amagiri: Based on their whereabouts, they should have come from the west [says 'western part' so i might change this to 'from western lands']. So if we know something, That's why she's saying that if we know something, to please tell her. 

Kazama: So it's like that/that is to say, the person I saw recently in the Shinsengumi, is the someone who probably comes from an oni clan fro a different part of the country, as mentioned in this letter.

Amagiri: That is very likely. Although Kyoto has long history, the bloodlines of many oni clans are around here/in the area. [may just omit bloodlines entirely here]

Shiranui: Joining the Shinsengumi, that sounds impossible/Then joining the Shinsengumi is even more impossible [check other tl and audio]. Then as the leader of the Western clans, do you have any idea/know anything about this oni clan?

Kazama: No/I don't know, at least I have never been in contact with them.

Amagiri: Then I'll contact the village to investigate [check tl again since the tl i wrote says 'fight'. probably wrote something down incorrectly]. How do you intend to handle this unidentified oni clan?

Shiranui: The Shinsengumi being involved in this, already makes this a real hassle. If that guy becomes a member of the Shinsengumi, we'll be fighting sooner or later.  

Amagiri: Did he know that the Shinsengumi is hostile towards us, or did he know that there's a female oni within the Shinsengumi?

Shiranui: Either way it's a problem.

Kazama: hrn...

Shiranui: I'll first say, that even if it's me, I don't want to fight against another oni. There are a barely any of us to begin with/ There aren't a lot of us to begin with.

Amagiri: Then, what should be done, Kazama.

Kazama: That remains to be seen. let's go. Amagiri. Shiranui. Based on my observations, I'm afraid that the strength of his bloodline is so weak that he doesn't even know that he is an oni. Those who have inherited the noble blood of the oni, even if they don't know it, answering to the call of humans [check other tl], is something that must never be allowed.

----------

ah i wish i could have someone reading a letter from sen about why saito is better than kazama lol....hahaha i can only wish.

unfortunately im still really busy so i don’t when i’ll be able to translate the next track of this... still would like to have it done before end of the year though.

also, the reason why the sanan tsukikage chapter TLs were taken down from that blog i found was apparently because the site itself had problems with the images that were uploaded along with the author’s translations... i think? 

Well, regardless of the reason, i was able to save the tl of sanan’s 1st tsukikage chapter since it got re-posted, and guess that means it’s only a matter of time before the tl of chapter 6 gets re-uploaded so i can go save it later....

[dwtsfun]

Dancing with the Stars Season 29 Week 10: Let’s Talk

So I spent some extra time really thinking about how I want to approach talking about this week. There are many parts and I want to address and I wanna do it as thoroughly as I can. So first let me get the trivial things out of the way. Tyra looked amazing. I loved the judges’ entrance. CAI looked incredible too. Bruno looked great. Derek’s suit would’ve looked better if it were a different color. Maybe a darker and cooler color would’ve been better, like a green, blue or purple. 

Okay now let me address the elephant in the room. Nelly. So here’s where I stand. He deserves to be in the final as much as anyone else that is there right now. Period. You can dislike it all you want, but he earned his spot. He is not a Skeleton type where he hasn’t improved, can’t dance for shit, talks shit about EVERYONE and expects to be rewarded high scores for terrible dances. From what we have all seen, Nelly seems to be genuinely shocked that he’s being received well and at the fact that he is doing as well as he is. And he’s hasn’t shown a sense of entitlement that Skeleton always had surrounding him. Plus, he minds his business and doesn’t bad mouth the other celebs. So I’m going to fully reject that comparison. It’s asinine.

“But he was the worst dancer left!” Okay. And? Your point? This is not new. We have had plenty of celebs who were not one of the best dancers make it to the finals. Kelly Osbourne made the finals over Aaron Carter and Joanna Krupa. Cristian de la Fuente made it over Mario. Marie Osmond made it over Sabrina Bryan and Jennie Garth. Jerry Rice made it over Lisa Rinna. Bristol Palin and Bill Engvall made it over everyone. Candace and Alek beat out a ton of people. Noah made it in over Nastia. Ginger dumbass (I actually have real issues with this lady) made it in over Wanya. David Ross got second place. Lauren Alaina got in over James van der Beek. And Nelly making it as far as he has should not be shocking. He’s got the biggest name of everyone on the show. He’s not a bad dancer (he’s actually pretty decent and better than most of the people that I just listed). And his journey is the quintessential DWTS journey. The audience loves a person that comes in with no experience, embraces the experience and improves as the weeks go on. So it’s very strange to me that Nelly is garnering this type of reaction because he’s “the worst left”. It’s almost like a lot of fans have never watched this show before. So I have to wonder what is driving this issue with him (I know why and I’m sure you all know too). It’s the same thing that drove (and still drives the uproar) for Jacoby placing higher than Aly back in season 16.

“But what about his sexual assault allegations! He shouldn’t succeed because of those.” Yes, I know those are surrounding him. Yes, I know he’s been arrested. Yes, I know it likely happened (and for those of you that are going to come in here acting like I’m doubting survivors, I am not. But I have a platform and I’m not trying to be sued if anyone on his team comes across this post). I am not absolving him of that. BUT, many of the fans don’t know that. To them, he’s just the really famous rapper that made those couple of songs that they like and has worked with Tim McGraw. He might even be their favorite rapper. We also cannot suddenly choose to take the moral high ground when it comes to Nelly, while still watching and supporting this show. This show has casted several different types of abusers, racists, downright hateful people and alleged MURDERERS since it’s inception. And it sympathizes with them. This is actually a shoe where many stars go so that they can try to rehab their image. So that moral high ground approach just doesn’t work for this show. Especially not when there is another alleged abuser sitting right next to him. You can make the personal choice not to vote for him for whatever reason. That is fine. But you also have to know that your continued support of the show is going to allow them to keep casting these types of celebrities.

“But Skai and Johnny were just better.” Yes. That is very true. AND people weren’t voting for them in the way that they were voting for everybody else. Each of them had already had at least one bottom 2 appearance. It made sense for them to both end up in the bottom 3 on double elimination night and be sent home. It’s actually what should have happened to Ally last season when she ended up in the bottom 2 with James.

“But his dances sucked!” I will get to his dances from Monday later on in the post. But his dances throughout the season largely did not suck. I will give you his first paso. That was a mess. The rest of his dances were decent to very good.

“Women have it harder than men on this show!” Well see, here is where need some more nuance. White men (pros and celebs alike) get rewarded for the bare minimum on this show. The judges will (and have) rip apart a Black, Indigenous or Asian man very easily. I would actually say that white women are more fairly treated than any other group besides their white male counterparts. The rest of us fall below everyone else in the social hierarchy.

Okay. I’ve gone on a lot so I’m going to make these rankings pretty short.

1. Skai and Alan- I am ranking these based on my personal enjoyment of both dances, So if you’ve followed me for a long time, you know that I love me a good Viennese waltz. And this was beautiful. Skai’s top line is gorgeous. She was very elegant. And the balance of confidence and vulnerability was something I have not seen from Skai this season. Her cha-cha was a definite redemption. I thought she did a great job with her hip action. She was loose. She was sure of herself. She was confident. I’m glad Skai got to have a week where everything was just top notch. If she had to leave, this was the perfect note to leave on.

2. Johnny and Britt- I really loved both of these dances as well. I was shocked at how well their salsa went. Johnny seemed to do a much better job of understanding the movement of it and executing it. As for the jazz, it was amazing. I loved it. And I loved that it didn’t seem like the freestyle lite routines that we’re used to seeing when couples are assigned jazz. These two should be incredibly proud of everything that they accomplished. I spent the season comparing Johnny to Evan Lysacek and while I think Evan beats Johnny in ballroom, I think Johnny was the overall better dancer.

3. Justina and Sasha- I really really liked this tango. I’m not sure if I would’ve given it a 10, because there were definite issues with her frame throughout. But, it was a huge improvement over their last one, so I’m okay with it. She wasn’t hopping throughout the dance and there was a difference in the way she embodied it that I just liked more. Maybe it was the lack of the character thrown on top of a dance that already has a distinct built in character. As for their contemporary, it was very pretty. I don’t care much for that style, but the perfect score was well deserved. 

4. Nelly and Daniella- Like everyone else tonight, Nelly definitely brought his A-game. That paso was a huge improvement from the first time that he did it. There was way more artistry this time around. He was shaping properly minus a few moments. He was smooth and intentional. It was actually very good. His feet still need work, but this was a very nice dance. I liked that Daniella left his shirt off because we really got to see all of the shaping. He is also very nice to look at lol. I honestly felt like this could have been a very solid 27. I could even see Bruno throwing in a 10 because of how attentive he was to the smaller details of this dance. As for the jive, this was actually the dance where I felt Nelly was most at ease. To me, this was their best dance of the season. That final gear that I could sense they hadn’t tapped into yet, was finally realized. Now from the way a lot of the fans were talking, you’d think this dance was a disaster. But it was far from it. He messed up the choreography a few times, so I don’t think it should’ve gotten a 30. But it was no less than a 27. Everything else he did was actually really good. Daniella put in a lot of content into this dance and he really nailed it. Also, recently there have been a ton of dances that were given perfect scores that may not have deserved them (including a few this season). So I don

5. Kaitlyn and Artem- Their paso was a definite improvement over the first time they did it. And I think it was technically the best dance of the first round. However, I still wasn’t feeling it. It was still too restrained for my liking. And while Derek tried to explain it away by saying that was the character of the dance, I just can’t let that slide.Their contemporary was beautiful though. By the time we got to their dance, I was all contemporary’d out because it was the last of three. So I didn’t appreciate it as much at first. But upon my second and third viewing of it, I actually really liked it. Everything that I had wanted from her in the paso and the Argentine tango was sitting right in this dance. I wish she had taken some of that and put it into those two dances as well. I might’ve actually been able to truly get behind her.

6. Nev and Jenna- Their foxtrot was an improvement but like my feeling with Kaitlyn, I just didn’t care. It was good. I don’t feel anything when he dances. It feels very hollow. His contemporary was nice but of the three contemporaries, I liked it the least. It didn’t really stand out. It was there. It was good. Perfect even. I wasn’t all that impressed though. I wish he would stop lying about his dance experience. 

So that’s it. Let me know your thoughts on the night and I will talk to you all soon.

[asgardianthot]

Hunting Season (sambucky) – Part 3

Series Masterlist

A/N: I know I promised this update over a week ago, and I’m sorry it took so long:/ I’ve felt really down for the past few days, I’m having a hard time with online classes and with my lack of serotonin lol. This was not my greatest week and I suspect it’s got to do with the quarantine. I know a lot of us are having a hard time coping with everything and it can be very stressful and draining. We’re all struggling to find the energy to do what we love, and *not* seizing our free time to create or be productive can make us feel very frustrated or disappointed – I just want you to know it’s okay to seize your free time to just rest, even if you haven’t done anything exhausting per se. Emotional draining is part of the global situation, and you have every right to simply exist. People are dying or losing loved ones – I think existing is more than enough right now.

Words: 3106

Summary: A shitty guy has entered the chat. You know who.

Bedtime had come, and Sam followed Bucky to their assigned room. It was, apparently, the one he had been using ever since he and Rebecca were old enough to stop sharing bunk beds. When Rumlow came into the picture, the family allowed the jolly couple to share the queen-sized bed. Hence, that was the set-up for Sam and Bucky.

"Yeah, I forgot to mention." Bucky apologized as they shut the door behind them.

The entire house seemed to have gone silent at that time of the night, making them feel like they should speak in a lower tone than usual.

"It's fine." Sam brushed it off while he kicked off his shoes near the door.

"Nah, man, I can sleep on the divan." Bucky shook his head, "I'll go get some blankets."

The last thing he wanted was to put Sam in any more uncomfortable situations. He was already in the most uncomfortable position anyone could ask of their friend, and Bucky felt guilty every single second of their stay, which had only lasted for less than a day so far.

"Dude, it's fine." Sam insisted, "Not like we've never shared a bed before."

Although they effectively had spent a number of after-parties in the same bed or the same couch, this setup felt a lot more intimate, somehow. Maybe it was the silk sheets, or the elegant shade of white which adorned the room, or the dim nightstand lights that made it all feel so cozy. Maybe it had to do with the fact that that's how boyfriends sleep, and them having to pretend to have that dynamic. Still, Sam wouldn't agree to Bucky's solution.

"Yeah, but it's seven nights." Bucky reminded him with a wince.

"If I get tired of you I'll send your ass to the divan." Sam ended the topic with that, stretching his arms to communicate his deep need of going to bed already, "I just wanna get some sleep, it's been a long* day."

Bucky snorted, "I told you." He smirked as he opened his bag to find his pajamas.

Sam sat on the edge of the bed. He had, in fact, agreed to this insanity. Clues and riddles and family drama and money*. He was there to help his best friend through a tough time, and that was his primary concern, but if he ever got too tired of the Barnes' crap, he could always remember the gold at the end of the rainbow. He let a loud sigh, almost like he was finally dropping off the weight of the 'boyfriend' act, and allowing himself to look exhausted. He dramatically dropped to the bed on his back.

"Two millions, right?" he raised an eyebrow at Bucky.

The appellee nodded, "Two millions."

-

Day 2

One of the many responsibilities the Barnes family had was continuously being good guests, which meant inviting relatives and neighbors and co-workers to spend a day or two in the lake house. Most of them had their own vacation residence nearby, or were vacation-buddies who could hop on their boats and grab lunch with the Barnes. Only a few guests would actually join the house accommodations and spend time with them. It was the case of a friend of Nana, one of Colin's co-workers, Aunt Ida's new boyfriend and distant cousin who would be spending the night, according to what Winnifred said during breakfast.

Sam had a hard time processing the fact that they had all that extra room for futile acquaintances; in fact, he very subtly lashed out at Bucky for allowing his family to set their staff in small bedrooms behind the kitchen when he had such luxuries. Bucky, head hanging low at the empty breakfast table, explained that even if he had Sam's revolutionary momentum and eloquence, his parents would never listen. 'I'm actually the last person who could change their entitled, outdated mentality', was the exact finishing sentence.

Sam once again got that sour reminder that he had to portray something for Bucky's parents. He had to pretend to be okay with the way Winnifred spoke to the maid through hand gestures instead of polite words. He had to pretend to act like he knew what the hell those big New York impresarios were talking about during the first tray of appetizers. Hell, he didn't even know that appetizers came in successions and that those successions were called 'trays', until now.

Most importantly, and at the moment Sam was standing in that big yard with freshly cut grass and a lake view, he had to pretend to belong. He had to walk among senior citizens with more money than they could spend in the few years they had left, young folk who looked like they had too much access to their daddy's bank accounts, and women who spoke exactly like Winnifred, as if different tones or voice inflexions belonged to a lesser class. Sam had to meet them all, and he had to act like he didn't feel as foreign as he'd ever felt.

"You're a saint, Sam." Bucky sneaked up on him and spoke in his ear, standing behind the lost man, "You can stop greeting wealthy dinosaurs now."

Sam realized he had done more than what was asked of him, and so, he dropped his shoulders in retreat. He turned around and gifted Bucky one tired smile.

"You okay?" the latter grabbed his shoulder tenderly, with concern, "This was too much, wasn't it? You should've called in sick like I-"

"I'm not traumatized by rich people, Bucky." Sam rolled his eyes, "I'm dating you, 'member?"

The verb caught Barnes by surprise, until he immediately remembered he meant the farce they were putting up for the family. However, during that millisecond of doubt, it felt like Sam was implying something with a double meaning that Bucky wasn't entirely sure disturbed him. In other words, he felt like Sam was flirting, but obviously, he was quickly reminded of the situation.

"I was just thinking what my mama would have said in a place like this." Sam confessed with a soft laughing tone.

The image was pretty funny. In the few times Bucky had spent time with Darlene, he was overly captivated by her strong personality. She was so caring, just like her son, but patience and subtlety weren't her strong suit.

"She would have been so... justifiably rude to all of them." Bucky dared to guess.

Sam chuckled, "Yeah."

"Would've ruined the mood for everybody." Bucky joined in the loud laughter.

The two were still smiling to themselves when Bucky's mom and Rebecca approached them, both holding cocktails in their hand.

"Whatcha talking about, lovebirds?" Rebecca teased them.

As much as she knew she couldn't raise the curtain to their farce, out of love for her brother, but also because engaging in a hassle like that one would take her out. That didn’t mean she couldn’t make this the most annoying family holiday Bucky had ever had.

"Mind your business." He replied dryly.

"James." The sibling’s mother reprimanded Bucky’s rudeness.”

"I was just messing around, ma’am." Sam jumped in his defense, effectively stopping the potential fight. "I'm not used to so much... elegance."

"You mean all these old and dull people in fancy clothes?" the woman suggested her own disappointment regarding her guests, and nodding happily when she noticed Sam’s surprised grin. "Trust me, lots of us have a hard time adjusting to them."

"Some of us think we shouldn't adjust, but the other way around." Rebecca reproached, which earned her a single head tilt from her less confrontational mother.

Wilson took the opportunity to be the lovable, polite boyfriend, "Are you having trouble with these men too, Ms. Barnes?" he asked with a gracious smile that accentuated his cheekbones.

"I wouldn't call it trouble." She, expectedly, diminished her statement to avoid being interpreted as discontent.

Rebecca gave up on the eye-rolling to start using an annoyed, distant glare. As much as she had always been closest to her mother than Bucky ever had been, their ways of dealing with their life and other people were very different, along with their worldviews.

"They're bigots, big surprise." The young woman used a rude sarcastic tone, yet got no reaction from her Winnifred, who was now decided in de-aggravating the topic of conversation.

"Our friends tend to be on the conservative side.” She said before waving her hand in her own defense, “Don't get me wrong, I'm no liberal."

Bucky snorted, "No one was thinking that, mom."

Sam merely pressed his lips together in order to stop a smirk from becoming too visible.

"But lots of them are very behind time.” Winnifred continued nonetheless, “Treating their wives like housemaids, interrupting me..."

The irony was so palpable, all three younger characters could barely conceal their own personalized expressions, which varied from shock to laughter, because Winnifred Barnes treated her housemaids like lesser humans and interrupted everyone. Sam gave Rebecca a look, which she replied with a nod that implied ‘I know’. She then drew a zip line across her mouth for him to drop it.

It had also been Winnifred herself who stood by George when Rebecca went to a Women's March with her friends and the married couple believed it to be 'too dangerous' because who knows what kind of people can be in a march! Giving credit where credit was due, however, Winnifred had her daughter's back when a family friend grabbed her butt in her sixteenth birthday, and Rebecca, being the strongly voiced person that she’s always been, let everyone know ‘what kind of perverts his father hung out with’.

"Yes, they’re keen on the rich male supremacy around here.” Rebecca sighed, unable to keep listening to her mom pretend to know what she was talking about, and willing to change the subject to go back to bullying her brother, “It's a bummer. So, guys..."

"Oh." Winnifred suddenly said, fixating her eyes on something in particular, past her company.

"What?"

The three followed Winnifred’s view and found a man most of them recognized perfectly. The dark hair gelled back, the expensive but tasteless clothes, and the way he stood his ground like he owned it. It was a look that had once enamored Bucky, but it seemed more like a horrible nightmare right now.

As soon as Sam noticed James’ breath hitch and his face freeze, Sam knew that it was Brock Rumlow. He had only seen the devil through social media pictures, and he wasn’t very recognizable from afar, but the reaction it brought Bucky was hard to miss.

Apparently, Rebecca was even more upset than Sam about the man’s presence.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" she let out with deep rage.

"Rebecca!" her mother prioritized the lady’s manners over the downright astonishing situation.

Rebecca ignored it, "Who invited him?" she whisper-shouted.

"I believe it was your uncle Teddy.” As soon as the woman realized everyone’s stare in reaction to her nonchalant way of speaking, she placed a hand on her son’s arm, “He didn't know, James. What was he supposed to do? Un-invite him?"

"I'm lost. Why is he here?" Sam cut in.

"Oh, don’t worry about him, Samuel!” She gave him a very inappropriate smile for the occasion, “He's a family friend. His father and George are business buddies."

Sam realized he had missed a big part of the information. He knew Bucky had met Rumlow through family contacts, and that they have known of each other’s existence for a couple of years before they actually got to know each other. What he had no idea of, was the close relationship between the Barnes and Rumlow fathers. Had he known, he would have expected the ex-boyfriend to show up, but judging by his fake boyfriend’s state, Bucky wasn’t expecting it either. Probably because he was underestimating Brock’s maliciousness and hoping he wouldn’t invade his space.

Sam spoke directly to Bucky, using a calming tone, "You wanna go somewhere else?" he offered an out.

Unfortunately, before Bucky could reply, Rumlow saw him and began walking directly to him.

Bucky took a sharp breath, "Too late now."

Nobody said a word until Brock joined them.

"Ma'am.” He politely nodded in Winnifred’s direction, then turned to his former partner with a false smile, “James. Care for a walk?"

Bucky knew he was speaking a lot more formally than usual, because Winnifred was there. Care for a walk was just a fancy way of spitting out ‘let’s talk’, and Bucky despised that offer with every fiber of his being, but he wasn’t able to respond. His tongue was tied. He clenched his jaw, feeling powerless, and was rescued by Sam, who extended his hand.

"Samuel Wilson.” He gave Brock a big, play-pretend grin, “And you are...?"

It wasn’t a surprise that Rumlow was being rude, as he had been ignoring Sam and Rebecca’s presence like they weren’t even there.

"Brock Rumlow." He shook the man’s hand.

When Sam dropped his hand away from Rumlow’s, he took Bucky’s in his, as a painfully obvious demonstration of their romantic involvement. Brock lowered his eyes towards the intertwined fingers and bit the inside of his cheek, before nodding with a partially amused expression on his face.

"I take it you're..." Brock tempted, earning an affirmative look from Sam, "And I take it you know who I am."

Wilson tilted his head, "You just told me, you're Brock."

"This doesn't have to be awkward.” The unwelcome man smiled, glancing at Winnifred to make sure she approved of his manners, but even she kept looking away, “We both know James and I-"

"Look, Brock.” Wilson cut him off, “Nobody here really cares. Do you care, love?" He asked Bucky.

Bucky couldn’t help but smirk at Sam’s successful act, "Irrelevant." He agreed.

"Unless... it matters to you, Brock.” Sam frowned sadly, putting up the most condescending act he had ever pulled, “In that case, I'm sorry if this is painful."

If looks could talk, Rumlow’s would have stated a very easy ‘fuck you’.

"We'll see ourselves out, actually. Nice to meet you." He said, then turned away.

Bucky gifted his ex a fake host smile, "Have a good one."

As soon as the couple went back inside the house, Bucky let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. He murmured grateful words as the noise of the gathering outside became muffled, and Sam squeezed his hand, which he was still holding. As a matter of fact, they didn’t let go of each other for a while.

-

"I brought us some food." Sam announced when he reached the top of the stairs.

Bucky had hid himself in the small living room which welcomed guests to the second floor. He was sitting on the couch, watching crappy TV, avoiding the large amount of people talking downstairs.

"You sneaked lunch up here?" He asked with surprise.

"Yes, Bucky, I stole two plates of crab risotto and an apple sorbet.” Sam mocked his naivety with sarcasm, “I made sandwiches in the kitchen, you doofus."

Bucky usually felt less than Sam at many things. Sam was smarter, he was resilient, he was hardworking and he was happier than him, most of the times. Seeing Sam in his messed up world only fomented that, because Sam was a fish out the water among the Barnes and their guests, and still, he glowed brighter. He was better than anyone Bucky had grown up with, and certainly better than himself. That’s why Sam had probably asked the kitchen staff if he could bother them for a second while he made two sandwiches, and he probably talked to them the entire time, and he probably let them speak longer than he did because he didn’t want to seem rude.

Bucky just knew that’s what he had done, while, if he were by himself, he probably would have skipped lunch and snacked on leftovers later, when no one was looking.

"What did I do to deserve you?" he sighed, receiving the plate Sam had prepared him.

The appreciation made Sam feel fuzzy. As much as he loved helping Bucky because he was his best friend, he never wanted Bucky to depend on his help. And yet, this time, he liked the idea of being needed by him.

He shook off the idea and sat on the couch, "That's a good question."

"I think God sent you when he saw how shitty everyone else in my life is."

Wilson laughed, shifting closer to Bucky’s and taking a big bite of his sandwich.

"Becca ain't so bad.” He remarked with his mouth full, “She comes around eventually."

"Yeah, she does." James agreed, thinking of how protective the young woman had become as soon as she saw the man who hurt her brother.

"You ever get tired of getting all your parents' shit when you watch her get away with stuff?"

Bucky shrugged. "I'd do anything for her. And they already see me a certain way, might as well protect her from that."

Wilson smiled to him, a warm sensation taking over his chest, "You're really good to her."

As much as Barnes wanted to take the compliment, the exchange had become too intimate, and if there was one thing Bucky had been rejecting during the whole boyfriend act, was intimacy between them. He feared he might get confused.

"You trying to pamper me, Wilson?" he bumped Sam’s shoulder playfully.

The latter rolled his eyes, and they went back to the TV show on screen while they ate. A few minutes later, something was twirling around Sam’s head so heavily, that he had to speak out.

"Hey, uh... A bit of- a really foggy bit of what I said when I was blacked out might have come back to me." He told Bucky, avoiding eye-contact.

James knew exactly what that was. Sam had just seen Rumlow for the first time, which brought back a very specific part of the conversation they both had, but only Bucky remembered.

"You remembered shitting on Brock?" he raised an eyebrow, amused.

"I mean, I'm not sure, but I bet I didn't have anything nice to say about him."

"Nothing you hadn't said before." Bucky lied.

Sam most certainly had said some things about the ex-boyfriend that he had been keeping to himself, and only had the guts to let out while blackout drunk.

They sat back and switched the channels, finding a better movie to watch, ignoring the lunch party completely. Eventually, Bucky found himself laying on Sam's chest, sort of sided, but he was too comfortable to move away.

[haec-est-fides]

Filodox’s Trials of Apollo Reactions [Part I]

Welcome to part one of a reflective journey through Trials of Apollo ft. my original ebook annotations! I’ll be your host, 2020!filodox.

For this first episode, we’ll be going back to May 2016, the beginning of it all: The Hidden Oracle.

Annotations for this round are brought to you by 2016!filodox.

Is there anything we should know before we begin, 2016!me?

2016!filodox: I swore on the Styx never to read another Riordan book after he killed Octavian. And yet here we are.

... Alright then! Let’s get started.

But first, a more detailed overview on how this series will work: I will excerpt bits and pieces of the books based on what I highlighted / annotated on my first read. Beneath each quote, I will share what I wrote in the annotation. Below that, I will (occasionally) laugh at my past self, clarify the note, or say how my view has changed.

I encourage questions, comments, and concerns (of which there may be many), so go ahead and use that replies feature if you feel so inclined! However, these are just my opinions and (occasionally) emotional reactions, so no hate pls. <3 (Or, if you do send hate, pls make it funny.)

Now, diving right in with Riordan’s dedication!

To The Muse Calliope. This is long overdue. Please don’t hurt me.

2016!filodox: Hurt him. He didn’t even name the chapters.

As you can see, I had yet to experience Lester’s haiku and was already mad based on the table of contents alone. I went into this series very salty...

I inflicted a plague on the Greeks who besieged Troy.

2016!filodox: At least he did something right. Once.

I was just,,,extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill. (Though I was a huge Troy / Aeneas stan before all this, just to be clear.)

Is anything sadder than the sound of a god hitting a pile of garbage bags?

2016!filodox: I actually find this particular god crashing into a dumpster quite amusing.

I also blamed Apollo for what happened to Octavian. I think that had a lot to do with how Apollo acted on Delos in Heroes of Olympus, basically disowning Octavian and whining about how some “creature” scammed him? That was bullshit. Apollo needed to own the fact that he blessed Octavian, but he just abandoned him and denied all the blame. TL;DR I had a grudge, okay?

My mind stewed in confusion, but one memory floated to the surface -- the voice of my father, Zeus: YOUR FAULT. YOUR PUNISHMENT.

2016!filodox: Wait, is this bc everyone blames Octavian and therefore Apollo? Bc lol but also no?

*cough* Octavian did nothing wrong 2k16 *cough*

Zeus will reconsider, I told myself. He’s just trying to scare me. Any moment, he will yank me back to Olympus and let me off with a warning.

“Yes...” My voice sounded hollow and desperate. “Yes, that’s it.”

2016!filodox: Apollo is a self centered frat boy, I forgot...but it is slightly...endearing? *narrows eyes*

Ah, how close I was to stanning Lester in the first chapter, when he was at his most “goddy”. You know, I actually made a rule for myself when I started reading Trials of Apollo that I would not under any circumstances stan Apollo. That was a naive goal, because it was never really a danger.

Regardless, Zeus had held me responsible for Octavian’s delusions of grandeur. Zeus seemed to consider egotism a trait the boy had inherited from me. Which is ridiculous. I am much too self-aware to be egotistical.

2016!filodox: I am going to Murder him.

*chef kiss* the hypocrisy ! the lack of self-awareness !

“I just...I assumed -- I hoped this would be taken care of by now.”

“You mean by demigods,” Percy said, “going on a big quest to reclaim the Oracle of Delphi?”

2016!filodox: That sounds like a decent quest, or you know, QUESTING FOR THE SIBYLLINE BOOKS

I’ve always said I can see the future but an inch to the left. Also, I don’t like Ella.

It warmed my heart that my children had the right priorities: their skills, their images, their views on YouTube. Say what you will about gods being absentee parents; our children inherit many of our finest personality traits.

2016!filodox: AND HE’S MAD ABOUT OCTAVIAN?!

I mean ?

Apollo, when Austin and Kayla show ambition: THEY GOT THAT FROM ME <3

Apollo, when Octavian (or Nero, or Caligula) shows ambition: srry i don’t know him ??

He had a weak jawline, an overlarge nose, and a beard that wrapped around his double chin like a helmet strap. His hair was curly and dark like mine, except not as fashionably tousled or luxuriant. His lips curled as if he smelled something unpleasant. Perhaps it was the burning seats of the bus.

2016!filodox: Nero ???

Not quite sure how to feel looking back at this moment. Call out post @ myself for instantly recognizing Nero, when afaik this scene was before we had any hints that Roman emperors were even a plot point? But here’s the thing: I don’t remember why I could recognize him so easily. I don’t remember where 2016!me obtained this ancient Rome knowledge. A mystery.

On another note entirely, did Nero really like,,,astral project into Apollo’s fever dream to address him directly? Because Rhea does. And sometimes Python does. But Nero? Can he do that?

The man laughed as flames licked at his purple sleeves. “You’re not sorry yet, but you will be. Find me the gates. Lead me to the Oracle. I’ll enjoy burning it down!”

2016!filodox: I too enjoy burning things down. # Nero confirmed

My only comment here is “oh you sweet summer child,,,”

Oh. Perhaps some of you are wondering how I felt seeing [Will] with a boyfriend rather than a girlfriend.

2016!filodox: No, actually. I wasn’t wondering. I was plotting how to kill you, them, and quite a few other people. Do you think I could trade you for Octavian?

Oh man, back at it again with the salt. XD

I could only remember my conversations with Octavian, the way he’d turned my head with his flattery and promises. That stupid boy...it was his fault I was here.

A voice whispered in the back of my mind. This time I thought it might be my conscience: Who was the stupid boy? It wasn’t Octavian.

2016!filodox: I can’t really...explain my emotions upon reading this. I’m still not quite okay, but this...it’s bittersweet in a way. I don’t know if this is a poor attempt at a proper closure, the author’s way of beating a dead horse, or just a way to make Apollo seem pitiable. Whatever it is... Octavian was important enough to remain in Apollo’s mortal memory. He somehow made promises to a god and had Apollo wrapped around his finger. And despite being so much like Apollo, the god blames him. Like everyone blames him. But Apollo also realizes, accepts on an infinitesimal scale, that “it wasn’t Octavian”. He wasn’t perfect, but neither is Apollo. Apollo is (at least) subconsciously admitting his own guilt in the whole affair.

...yeah. I will note that this bit isn’t meant to develop Octavian, but rather uses Octavian as a prop to support Apollo’s development? Which is why it still stings. Like thanks, I guess.

“Your judgement in the past has been...questionable. I wonder if you have chosen the right tools for this job. Have you learned from your past mistakes?”

2016!filodox: Nero has made plenty of mistakes to learn from

Love how I just assumed it was Nero back in chapter 10 and went with it, zero hesitation. Also love how I heard Python say Nero has made mistakes and went “oh absolutely”. In fact, here’s something funny in retrospect that will become more and more apparent: I did not like Nero in 2016. Or, at least, I thought I didn’t. There’s something really odd going on here that baffles me, looking back...

“A triumvirate is a ruling council of three,” I said. “At least, that’s what it meant in ancient Rome.”

“Which is interesting,” Rachel said, “because of this next shot.” She tapped her screen. The new photo zoomed in on the building’s penthouse terrace, where three shadowy figures stood talking together....

2016!filodox: Is it bad that I’m smirking? Because it’s getting interesting ~ *clear malicious intent*

Wow, edgy. Triumvirates are just a neat, Roman thing and I stanned.

“The last triumvirate I dealt with included Lepidus, Marc Antony, and my son, the original Octavian. A triumvirate is a very Roman concept...like patriotism, skullduggery, and assassination.”

2016!filodox: THIS IS WHAT I’VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL EVERYONE. MODERN OCTAVIAN IS A VERY GOOD ANCIENT ROMAN. POLITICS, ESPECIALLY SHADY AF POLITICS AND POWERPLAYS, ARE QUINTESSENTIALLY ROMAN. Also, I’d like to note that it’s confirmed, in this universe’s canon, that Augustus was a son of Apollo.

Ohhhh, wait. I think I’d watched the HBO series Rome by 2016, which would at least partially explain my ancient Rome knowledge. (Amazing tv show btw!)

“He heard them talking in Latin.”

“Latin? Were they campers?”

Pete spread his hands. “I--I don’t think so. Paulie described them like they were adults. He said one of them was the leader. The other two addressed him as imperator.”

2016!filodox: !!!! (obligatory 💕)

I was such a simp for Latin in high school. And the Roman Empire. Still am, but hey.

“The Beast is planning some kind of attack on your camp. I don’t know what it is, but it’s going to be big.”

2016!filodox: Runs in the family I guess

The Octavian / Triumvirate parallels are everywhere... 👀

“The emperors made themselves gods. They had their own temples and altars. They encouraged the people to worship them.”

2016!filodox: # deify me

*smacking my past self with a stick* You stop that! Edgy child!

Anyway, a much better point here is like,,,the Imperial cult was huge in the ancient Roman world. Looking at Apollo’s explanation here, why did only the “worst” three emperors get to be immortal? Did famously “good” emperors like Augustus and Marcus Aurelius have the option of becoming minor gods, but they chose Elysium or something? Are there slightly less infamous emperors just hanging around anywhere as minor gods? A lot of Roman emperors live on in human memory is all I’m saying.

“Wait!” Will said as I reached the door. “Who is the Beast? Which emperor are we dealing with?”

“The worst of my descendants.” My fingers dug into the doorframe. “The Christians called him the Beast because he burned them alive. Our enemy is Emperor Nero.”

2016!filodox: I honestly can’t believe it took this long to reveal this? Was anyone surprised?

Nero’s reveal is rather late in the book compared to Commodus, Caligula, and even Tarquin iirc? But it makes sense, being the first book of the series. Also love how 16-year-old me was like “this reveal is silly because everyone, like me, recognizes Nero on sight” and didn’t question that assumption at all.

“Germani.” Instinctively, I moved in front of Meg. The elite imperial bodyguards had been cold-blooded death reapers in ancient Rome. I doubted they’d gotten any sweeter over the centuries.

2016!filodox: BITCH. See? This is why I love Rome. They knew what they were doing.

Ngl, as someone of Germanic heritage, I felt really represented by the Germani, which is hilarious on so many levels.

He tried to compensate for his ugliness with an expensive Italian suit of purple wool, his gray shirt open to display gold chains. His shoes were hand-tooled leather, not the sort of thing to wear while stomping around in an ant pile. Then again, Nero had always had expensive, impractical tastes.

2016!filodox: I don’t exactly like Nero, and actually think he was quite the shitty emperor, but I guess I mildly respect and “like” him on principle (in this book at least).

OH YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD. I was so convinced that I didn’t actually like Nero, despite all of the lowkey evidence to the contrary? Who hurt you, past me? (Lmao, it was Tacitus, Suetonius, and Cassius Dio.) My working theory is that I was too much of an Emperor Augustus stan at the time to admit liking Nero. It’s hysterical. Look at me equivocating like a champ.

I’d been so proud of my son, the original Octavian, later Caesar Augustus. After his death, his descendants became increasingly arrogant and unstable (which I blamed on their mortal DNA; they certainly didn’t get those qualities from me).

2016!filodox: I’m glad Apollo and I can agree on something. Augustus was amazing and those who came after him...significantly less so.

See! The propaganda really got to me, what can I say?

Nero clasped his hands as if in prayer. “Oh, my. It seems we’ve had a slight miscommunication. You see, Apollo, Meg brought you here, just as I asked her to. Well done, my sweet.”

2016!filodox: This was obvious but I still find it...gods, the only word I can think of is “delicious”

. . .

“The Beast killed my father. This is Nero. He’s -- he’s my stepfather.”

I could not fully grasp this before Nero spread his arms.

“That’s right, my darling,” he said. “And you’ve done a wonderful job. Come to Papa.”

2016!filodox: Okay, but we should have known this since it became apparent her weapons were Roman. Also, oof. Also also, WHY did Riordan feel the need to add that last line? Why?

ASDFGHJKL: I CAN’T

“After the fire, we’ll rebuild,” he said. “It will be glorious!”

2016!filodox: The amount of times I have used this very logic is worrying.

For (some) context, Firelord Ozai is my favorite character from AtLA. <3

The scene might have been funny except that the Germani were now back on their feet, five demigods and a geyser spirit were still tied to highly flammable posts, and Nero still had a box of matches.

2016!filodox: Oh, I find this plenty amusing!

The emperor stared at his empty hand. “Meg...?” His voice was as cold as an icicle.

2016!filodox: The various ways his tone / voice have been described throughout this conversation are just 💕

*looks at camera like I’m on The Office*

Seriously, though. Nero’s voice is like the central descriptive element of his character because he’s so manipulative. It’s really cool and a great use of detail.

[Meg] turned to Nero. “You told me never to lower myself to my enemies’ level.”

“No, indeed.” Nero’s tone had frayed like a weathered rope. “We are better. We are stronger. We will build a glorious new world. But these nonsense-spewing trees stand in our way, Meg. Like any invasive weeds, they must be burned. And the only way to do that is with a true conflagration -- flames stoked by blood.”

2016!filodox: Real 👏🏻 Gods 👏🏻 Require 👏🏻 Blood👏🏻

I was way too enthusiastic about this whole situation, wasn’t I?

Nero grinned. “Good-bye, Apollo. Only eleven more Olympians to go.”

2016!filodox: Wait, shit, WHAT

Having read Tower of Nero, this probably had something to do with Python interfering with the Fates, huh? But does that mean it’s more Python’s plan or Nero’s? If this was Nero’s plan (with his 12 kids literally replacing the Olympians) that’s,,,really fucking bold.

Then I heard the screaming from Camp Half-Blood.

2016!filodox: Music to my ears ~

I’m presenting every edgy detail of my annotations so I have a proper case file when I inevitably have to face the question “On a scale of one to ten, how relatable is Emperor Nero and why should you have realized it’s a ten sooner?”

In a flash of silver light, the camp’s magical barriers collapsed. The Colossus lurched forward and brought his foot down on the dining pavilion, smashing it to rubble like so many children’s blocks.

2016!filodox: Payback! Dear gods, I can’t stop smiling! I’m just like “YES!” I know this will all probably get fixed or whatever but I’M HAVING A MOMENT.

I’ve learned to appreciate the small wins. <3

Percy grabbed one of the crown’s sunray spikes. He sliced it off at the base, then jabbed it into the Colossus’ forehead.

2016!filodox: As much as Nero is FAR from my favorite, I really don’t like defacing ancient (or replicas of ancient) statues and art...

This is where I just start laughing at myself tbh. I was so insistent on not liking Nero. Like, I sound like I’m in denial. Peak equivocation. What happened to that heart emoji a few chapters back? Why did I suddenly make it about *checks notes* ancient art? Updated translation: nooo don’t ruin the Colossus Neronis it’s so sexy aha

Just as the [arrow] reached its apex and was about to fall back to earth, a gust of wind caught it...perhaps Zephyros looking kindly on my pitiful attempt. The arrow sailed into the Colossus’ ear canal and rattled in his head with a clink, clink, clink like a pachinko machine.

2016!filodox: HOW MANY EX MACHINAS IS THIS ?! The dryads, the arrow, Percy, the enchantment, and THIS ?

One of my criticisms of Trials of Apollo in general is just that the stakes are so much higher and Riordan usually solves that problem by having his heroes win on long odds. The chances of them succeeding at like,,,anything they attempt are astronomical, but of course they manage. It’s not surprising but it does get a little tiring.

“Yo, Nico,” Leo called, “please tell me that’s it for the physical abuse.”

“For now.” Nico smiled. “We’re still trying to get in touch with the West Coast. You’ll have a few dozen people out there who will definitely want to hit you.”

2016!filodox: Oh I’d love to hit him. With the flaming, Imperial gold payload of an onager. Preferably WITHOUT the Pontifex Maximus attached to it -- unless of course you mean the false pontifex, Jason Grace.

Leo was the salt in the wound for this one, ngl. He rekindled my undying ire over Octavian’s death. As I said at the beginning of this, I was extremely ready to die on Octavian’s hill after Heroes of Olympus. That sentiment sticks around for a while...

And we can call that a wrap!

Though it may seem like it, my annotations are not, in fact, a compilation of Nero’s greatest hits. There are a lot of scenes of his that I love (naturally) but I didn’t have anything to say about them when I first read the series. Maybe I’ll share those another time.

In any case, I hope you got something out of this ridiculously long post! Until next time! <3

[bbq-hawks-wings]

After the DabiHawks shippers took on the “he’d hate Endeavor if he found out his past then ttly became a villain!” I’ve had this rage about the subject lol. Endeavor is not Enji. That’s been stated by even Natsuo and a lot by Shouto. Hawks is a fan of Endeavor the hero and he’s shown to be great at compartmentalizing so I don’t think it’d matter much to him. (Like how Deku was.) Especially since Endeavor became self aware and is changing. Really what we need is more background. HORI! 😡

"That last ask reminded me how much I dislike fanfics' portrayal of Hawks' reaction to Endeavor's past, lol. I guess that's more to do w/ people hating Endeavor but they forget that these two have a good relationship that goes beyond hero worship by now. Endeavor cares for Hawks and Hawks got to see his change, to support and trust him. That's why the reveal will be extra painful and Hawks' reaction cannot be predicted, it's very complicated." -Another Anon (We'll call you A2)

All this interaction and just from something I plunked down in my blog without major tags? I really do have a significant amount of people who read my stuff, thanks everyone!

Tw: Abuse of various kinds

Before responding I'd like to take a step back and frame this is real-world terms for a second: abuse is rampant in our local communities even if you may not realize it. Both my parents came from backgrounds with abusive parents/step-parents - some of which was on par with what the Todoroki's went through. That scratches the tip of the iceberg of people I personally know who have suffered some sort of domestic abuse, including myself, let alone the people I know of who have experienced it.

We really need to be sensitive to the fact that some respond to Enji the way they do because they don't see a fictional character with a story and message to tell in the larger scheme of the series - they see their own abuser, that person who on whatever level ground them down and made them feel like something less than human for however long and may even still be doing so. Have compassion for these folks. Not every Enji-anti is a cancel culture party planning purist ambassador.

Hawks is a comfort character for a lot of people, and many have used his ambiguous/mysterious personality as a blank canvas to project their woes onto and triumph over them vicariously through him. I've even done so. When his canon past came to light, a lot of them doubled-down on it, believing their victory was near. For those with open wounds, vehemently rejecting that abuser is a common cathartic release dream - especially if they've only recently come to terms with the fact that they aren't the ones at fault for what they went/are going through. Anger is a normal reaction.

For many of these people, the idea that someone who had it in them to do THAT to a human being could EVER, ACTUALLY want to change and CAN change is, frankly, actual insanity.

On the other side of the coin are people who believe that while those individuals need to have consequences of some kind for what they've done, they are allowed to make strides to improve who they are moving forward. They can never erase the evil they've inflicted on others, and it's up to their victims to decide if they forgive them individually; but never letting a genuinely remorseful person try to be better one day at a time leaves the world at least as ugly as we left it.

You had a good word for it, A2 - it's complicated.

Part of forfeiting your right to forgiveness as a former abuser includes not only giving up your right to be forgiven by your victims but by anyone you lied to as you commited and hid the abuse.

To A1's point, Enji and Endeavor until recently have not been the same person. He's Enji Todoroki first, and he lied to everyone to maintain his image as Endeavor the hero. In fact, he sacrificed the integrity of Enji to exist as Endeavor, so Endeavor the hero is not free of the crimes of Enji Todoroki.

For someone like Hawks who may have looked up to Endeavor, after coming to the conclusion that Papa Takami was a garbage human being, and thought "That's what a good man looks like! He would be a good dad to me if I was his kid," he would be justified in not forgiving Endeavor/Enji for implicitly lying to him for years, enforcing a false version of reality that lead to him selling his freedom as a child and not fighting back harder when he was older because to Hawks they are the same person - if you're this good to the public, you're this good in private. If Endeavor did all this, lied to Keigo and the public, with the HPSC's blessing, Hawks has the right to spit pure venom because in his mind you can't separate the hero from the person. Recognize that there isn't anything of Keigo Takami that isn't Hawks, and Hawks exists at the cost of Keigo Takami. If Hawks goes down, so does Keigo.

"If it means getting my hands dirty to put the minds of others at ease, I'll gladly take on this task."

The series is trying to tell us that, too. Have you noticed that none of the "big three" have real hero names atm? They're Shouto, Bakugo, and Deku. Even Izuku's choice to be called Deku is symbolic in this sense. Deku isn't a hero-proper, he's just Deku doing what Deku does because that's who Deku is. Call him by any other name, that's who he is at his core, it's who he was before he ever got a quirk, and it would be that way if he was recognized as a proper hero or not.

The HPSC has tried to strip Hawks of Keigo Takami unsuccessfully because they can't - if anything, by choking out Keigo Takami's ability to exist outside of Hawks they've reinforced a sense of personal identity and responsibility over his own actions that they can't undo. All Might only exists because Yagi Toshinori wanted to create a paragon, and in feeding All Might's existence Yagi Toshinori withered away. And on the same note, when Jin Bubaigawara reached the end of his rope and had nowhere to go and no one left to turn to, he became Twice and found a place that wanted him.

Now, Jin felt like his own most ideal version of himself as Twice, and even despite his laundry list of crimes up to and including murder Hawks still felt he was worthy of redemption - even just the chance for it. Will Endeavor, whose list of crimes also stack up in similar fashion also be worthy? Does it matter what you call yourself or what you've done that matters, or does it come down to what you want to do and who you want to be that counts?

It's hard to tell. It's complicated. We'll just have to wait and see.

[the-prophet-lemonade]

do you have any advice on getting a story to be seen? i made an ao3 account not too long ago so no one has seen my fic at the moment but i was wondering if you had any tips on that, or would i just have to wait?

hello! i can’t claim to know what makes a fic popular as it’s 99% luck, but i can speak for the remaining 1% that has worked ~reasonably~ well for me in the past. 

i think there are three key elements to getting a fic “seen”: marketing, branding, and presentation, and they’re all very important. this post got very long, so please find everything under the cut! i hope it helps :-) 

i. marketing

fic marketing may seem a bit narcissistic if you haven’t done it before, but trust me on this: it’s the best way to attract readers and you deserve to promoted your story as something you worked hard upon!

drumming up hype for a fic is great. you can do this by posting on social media, providing sneak peaks on your twitter, involving yourself in the fandom community and discussing your wips with other fans, and just generally being excited about what you’re creating. engaging with other people’s writing is also a great method to help boost your own stats … get involved with reading other work and leaving comments for other people, because they will be more likely to return the favour! when someone comments on my fics, i often go and check out their profile and see what they’ve written, as it’s highly likely we enjoy the same things! 

making promos is one of my favourite ways to engage with people about fics. once i post a fic/new chapter to ao3, i also crosspost promo posts with links and graphics to my twitter and tumblr. you will need a good hook to get people interested, but also an eye-catching image that summarises the story pictorially can be a great asset (you don’t even need photoshop, just a nice moodboard will do!). when using images however, it’s always important to think how the image size will appear in tumblr’s dimensions and on your own blog … make sure it’s not stretched or the resolution too low, and create something with a good visual flow i.e. the title appears first, then the necessary information, then any teasers or extracts. you need to make your fic post stand out on someone else’s timeline, which may already be filled with a bunch of other fic posts, jostling for attention. make it neat, clean, informative, and professional.

make sure to use the tagging systems efficiently for your chosen social media platforms: only the first five tags count on a tumblr post, so choose them wisely (i.e. use the key fandom tags first and save your personal blog tags for after), and only two hashtags count on twitter before it’s marked as spam, so go for the ship tag!

creating your own fic tag on twitter can also be fun, and i’ve seen a lot more people doing it lately too. you can encourage people to tweet along with a specialised hashtag and then you can find their reaction and engage with them later, which once again expands your fandom circle and will increase engagement on tweets associated with your fic.  

another trick i’ve learned is utilising time zones and understanding the demographics of the audience you’re trying to reach. i am very careful to post my fics at certain times of day in order to reach key people e.g. i will try to hit either europeans or americans during the evening, as this is when most people are home from work and wanting to read fic. as a european myself, especially involved in fandoms with high levels of european fans, i usually post during the early evening for CET time zones i.e. 7 or 8 pm and i tend to find this works for me. 

with tumblr, i often delay my promo posts so that i post when it’s likely to get maximum interaction (you can see when your blog is most active using your tumblr analytics) … use your queue if need be! 

i also take care in reblogging/retweeting my promo posts at certain times of day too. i will usually bump the post just before i go to bed, so as to grab americans in their early evening, and then i will bump it again in the morning when i wake up, to catch australians and west coast americans still awake. i then usually keep bumping my promos once a day for two or three days on my social media to cast a wide enough net to catch as many people who might be interested, as not everyone checks their timeline every day and social media swallows up posts so quickly, especially tumblr which is not built for original content creators to do well (lol). i will usually bump a promo post 5 - 7 times before retiring it and this is a model that’s worked well for me in the past, especially for droplets, which would get 500+ notes per chapter!  if you’re anxious about this, know that most people will only see your post once or twice because tumblr moves fast and swallows posts up very quickly, and sometimes people need reminders to read if they decide to save things for later when they have more time

ii. branding

the benefits of branding mainly come from experience, so it’s a tricky thing to utilise if you haven’t published fic before … but there are still tricks worth trying! 

certain fic writers will attract readers to new fics just because their name is attached to it, and people know the sort of story they’re getting, they know how it’ll be written, the sort of tropes that will appear, that sort of thing. obviously, building up this sort of brand requires publishing a lot of work, and so it must be said that practice makes perfect: the more you write and publish, the more your fics will be seen and your audience will grow. people will regularly see your username in the tags on ao3 and be more inclined to click on you as someone who reliably produces good content. it’s important to remember that everyone starts from the same place and works hard to improve their craft; success doesn’t just come overnight (unless you’re in the right place at the right time) and any creator will tell you that compliments to their talent aren’t what matters, but instead, it’s compliments to their dedication and hard graft. 

another key thing about branding is how you present yourself online. the most important thing in my opinion is cohesion across your social media platforms e.g. having the same username on ao3 as you do on tumblr/twitter/wherever you promote your fic. having an easily navigatable blog with working hyperlinks and archiving of your fic work is also great. basically, building a clean interface for people to engage with your work is vital! having the same icon and username across all your social media makes it so much easier for readers to navigate between your fics and your promo posts … basically, the easier you can spell something out, the better

branding is mostly to do with how you advertise yourself, rather than the particular fic, although much of it overlaps. get your name out there by engaging with other writers and making friends and appreciating their work! this is often the best way to get inspired, plus you get to meet some amazing people. i recommend trying out for zines and big bangs and writing challenges, as these are good ways to show your work to already-established audiences. also, make yourself available by interacting with commentors or by opening up your inbox on tumblr to anons. try linking your social media and your inbox as hyperlinks in the authors note of your fic

iii. presentation

this is really fundamental and is often the main reason people will close out of your fic and not read to the end. people want to read fics that are easy to digest and have had care put into them. this includes a lot of things:

correct tagging i.e. are the tags coherent and not just rambling? are there appropriate trigger warnings in place? have you unnecessarily tagged every side pairing under the sun, rather than just the main relationship?

grammar and spelling. goes without saying … people are more likely to read things that look professional and have had care poured into their preparation. make sure you know how to use speech punctuation. revise how to use commas. avoid epithets (especially racially-aggravated ones). get yourself a beta if you’re worried, because betas are godsends!

paragraphing. so many people will close out of a fic if it isn’t correctly spaced. double spaced paragraphs look best on ao3 and i often won’t read a fic if the paragraphs are too long because it hurts my eyes to read. make sure you’re starting new speakers in new paragraphs. new ideas deserve new paragraphs. basically, every time the “camera” changes, you should be starting a new paragraph. not just a new line. 

summaries. i see so many fics on ao3 with summaries that are either apologising for being bad at summaries or apologising for a fic being bad/being a first fic, and like … stop this! own what you have written, no-one else will have written it the way you have and you should be proud of it. if you’re saying in your summary that it’s a bad fic, i’m not going to click on it as a reader. instead, utilise your summary to get people hooked … good hooks can be written a load of different ways, but the best ones i see often involved a snippet from the fic as a taster, and then a couple lines of blurb. get people excited! 

titles: i’m personally more likely to click on a fic where the title is either (a) correctly capitalised or (b) is clearly chosen for its aesthetic or meaning (i love long lower case titles with parentheses lol). choosing a memorable title is really helpful, especially one that can be shortened or abbreviated for social media (e.g. for hashtags)!

all this being said, traffic on ao3 is a crytpid at best and obeys little in the way of rhyme or reason. you can put blood, sweat and tears into marketing your fic, but sometimes, just being in the right place at the right time (writing for the right niche) is what does it, so being a fic writer requires a lot of patience. first and foremost, write for yourself. write what you want to read and enjoy doing it, because if you get sucked into obsessively checking stats, it’s only going to disappoint when you don’t achieve what you want to achieve. 

just keep persevering and keep writing and appreciating each and every person who takes time in interact with your fic and its promos … because ultimately, all it takes it that one reader to fall head over heels in love with your fic for everything to change. for now, just be proud of your work and keep writing!

[jlf23tumble]

Hey, ur like a friend in my head, I've told u before I get so happy to see ur posts cause I already know I'm gonna luv them esp the tags, anyway I wanted to ask u something however I don't want it to become a thing but I'm just curious; How do u handle the anons that spew hatred cause I'm fairly new to tumblr & I've seen such lovely ppl leave but u never really seem to let them get to u, is there a trick or are u just like fcuk em and keep it moving, soz this got long, feel free to ans in tags💓

I KID, I’ve wanted to use this gif of Dorinda for forever, so I’m forcing it to apply to your ask…but it’s also kind of appropriate, too? Because nobody likes getting anon hate, I mean, most of mine is so asinine as to be farcical, but who wants to see it, even when it’s idiotic? I’m not a masochist! But with that said, I also feel like I’ve had it way easier than the ones I personally know who’ve left because they had to absorb a veritable shit-stream of highly personal, 100% weaponized, garbage attacks on all fronts. (This doesn’t mean you can/should try that out on me, you demons, I’m just saying that, relatively speaking, even the spell of vile horseshit I got a couple of months ago was nothing compared to what I know other people got.) But your (extremely sweet) ask was about how I deal with it, so here goes:

1. I block block block, and that goes not just on the ask but on any blog I can find that’s trying to stir its lil fiefdom of cowards behind computers into action (I don’t spend time looking for haters, but every now and again, someone will tell me privately, I block that blog, and the asks disappear, modern-day wizardry)

2. I stockpile a folder of all-purpose reaction images (like Dorinda!) for those moments when I’m crazy and/or drunk enough to answer something that particularly gets my goat, the idea being that I can at least amuse myself, lol

3. I remember that, ultimately, there are loads of super nice people, and some of them even send me supportive messages that I absolutely keep for rainy days…I have a few in my inbox just below what I’m typing here!

4. I remember, too, that people sending anon hate are the most tragic of the tragique because this is what they choose to spend their precious time on earth doing, namely, crafting toxic bullshit to send to a stranger about some other stranger (usually a celebrity they’ll never meet, ever) and then actually clicking the tab to hide who they are, and that last step, my friend…that’s when they know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they’re cowards (the ultimate irony is when they’re coming for me on “moral superiority grounds,” lmaoooo) 

5. I have actual real-life friends here who counteract any and all rancor just by existing (as I’m typing this, for example, Kim is sending me commentary on an a/b/o “Stranger Things” fic that is killing me dead)

6. I don’t have search turned on for this blog, and I run a SHIT-TON of random posts on the daily, so if anyone wants to send me hate, they’re gonna have to work for it, good luck finding the problematic post, hopefully they’re enjoying the aesthetic slideshow along the way…yer welcome, pals! 

7. Finally, I channel the captain of the S.S. Bad Ass, by which I mean I double down, fuck ‘em, and keep on moving, why should I stop putting my dumbass tags on shit because someone else thinks they deserve my password?

Anyway, welcome to tumblr, friend, and thank you for your kind thoughts (and ask)! Truly, it’s not 100% terrible here, just don’t let trolls win if you can help it (that means get the hell out if it’s hurting you in any fashion, I’m all for self-preservation for anyone dealing with the worst of the worst of this shit, and trust me, there are some terrible, terrible trolls out there hell bent on trollin’). I love any and all asks as long as they aren’t hateful garbage! Send me your random specific kinky fic rec requests, I have tons of ‘em! Send me your opinions on things, I’ve got ‘em, too! Send me our ask-meme whatnottery, I’m a big ole narse! Etc.!

[emperorhwangs]

Which hogwart houses do you think nuest members belong to ?

OOOOOHHHHH WHAT AN INTERESTING QUESTION OK LEMME THINK

ok so i’m going to cheat a little and have some combined houses bc i think only one house can’t be enough to confine some of the members

Aron - Aron is a Gryffinpuff(?)/Huffledor(?) lol I don’t know what to call it

• he’s actually quite intelligent; he performed well in school and achieved a 2200 on his SAT (for reference, a 2400 is the full score and the Ivy League avg. is about 2150ish for the old SAT) 

• during the Pledis auditions, he ranked first out of all the trainees who auditioned

• he learned the entirety of the Korean language in under a year

• he speaks 3 languages: english, japanese, and korean

BuT (why he’s a gryffindor too)

• he can be brash and say things without thinking first, which has gotten him into trouble multiple times

• He perspective towards life seems to be to dive headfirst into things, without looking back

• he rejected his admission to NYU/rejected his academic future path to fully and completely pursue kpop (if this isn’t the definition of “taking the leap”, I don’t know what is)

• he won’t really censor his thoughts and is frank and stubborn, which can both be good and bad

• though he is the oldest member, he acts as if he is the maknae~ he tends to live vicariously without regrets

Ren (Minki/Mingi) - slytherpuff(?)

Slytherin gets a lot of hate for being the “evil” house, but that’s not how it is–the house itself is one of the most loyal and unified, with traits just as impressive as those of Gryffindor

• Ren oozes self confidence and is one of the few androgynous well known kpop stars–when he was been attacked for his “effeminate” image by a rude interviewer, he coolly, elegantly put him down, without a crack in his facade. He doesn’t flinch at insults to his appearance and instead hides his pain and buries it

• as you could see on PD101, ren is extra as hell; he knows how to draw attention for his benefit

• slytherins can tend to come off as a bit arrogant or prideful, and Ren definitely knows how gorgeous he is (there are an infinite amount of times where he’s complimented his own looks, lol, he even did it on PD101)

• slytherins are extremely loyal to their own, and Ren is extraordinarily loyal to his group 

i giffed this a while back, but this was his reaction when he heard one of his labelmates dropped from top 11 (at the time he was the only one of NU’EST who wasn’t ranked within top 11)

• he’s been described as the most playful and mischievious, but he rarely laughs

• but Ren is a hufflepuff too, despite his seemingly cold exterior

• he is the maknae of the group, and if you have been Nu’est’s fan for a bit, you know the rest of the group spoil him and love him to death; he probably has the most skinship with the other members because they love him so much

• he is extremely selfless~ never once did he complain about being ranked lower than his fellow members, he was only happy they had made it so far

• he treats his fans like angels–there was a brother of a fan who ran into him at a cafe he goes to regularly and he remembered his name and greeted him every time they bumped into one another at the cafe from then on out

• he used to respond to private messages from fans and would comfort them through difficulties

• according to the other members, he complains the least

• he’s very tolerant of everyone and has encouraged fanboys to approach him as well, and he would be willing to hug them

• the younger trainees on PD101 all loved him and they stuck to him a lot; he was said to be a spirit raiser on the show

JR (Jonghyun) - ravenpuff(?) huffleclaw(?)

hufflepuff gets a lot of shit for being the “useless” house but there is nothing to be ashamed of if you are a hufflepuff

• nation’s leader, onibugi, is selfless almost to a fault

• he was the leader of Nu’est since he was 16(1!6!) an takes the failure of Nu’est onto himself; he always has carried the entire burden of the group on his shoulders

• in literally every group performance he was in, he was the leader and he stiLL nEVER gave himself more than a few lines (pun intended, but this was still so upsetting)

• he always puts the other group members before himself and looks over him as if he is their older brother, despite being younger than some of them. (look at the disappointment on his face when he saw Minhyun walk into D rank and Dongho when he forgot the lyrics during the grade reevaluation)

• he’s really friendly, despite being very introverted

• in fact, despite his natural introvertedness, he tries his best to push himself out of his own comfort zone so he can be warm to others and he has devised several ways for him to seem more extroverted (how selfless is this holy fuck)

• he’s also a ravenclaw, though

• he is a very capable leader who tries his best to avoid conflict by sorting the situation out

•ex. he could’ve been argumentative with Kwon Hyunbin when he wasn’t being an exemplary member and wasn’t pulling his weight, but he instead just talked some sense into him by mediating

• when he is quiet, it seems he is more analyzing and sorting out every situation silently. he seems to be a bit calculating so that he can approach problems more effectively.

• he is very driven and will push himself past boundaries–he was the only nu’est member who went up in grade reevaluations, going to rank B 

• despite his position as leader and rapper, he can also dance very well and he does so passionately

• he can play the piano, the flute, the clarinet, the saxophone, the tuba, the drums, and the trombone (that’s 8 instruments!!!)

Baekho (Dongho) - Gryffinpuff (i know this is an oxymoron, but hear me out)

• he looks like a formidable, scary, guy, but he is actually the softest human being ever. 

• he is always laughing, and the other members have said that if baekho isn’t laughing, there is something wrong (literally during the meringue time he just laughed the entire time even though he was just beating eggs)

• the other members refer to him as “baby tiger” despite his “sangnamja” appearance

• he’s been described as the most sincere and the most sensitive member 

• he didn’t even purposefully audition for Pledis he actually went there with a friend for emotional support and then he was casted (if that isn’t the most hufflepuff thing you’ve ever heard)

• he can’t sleep without hugging someone

• he is very caring and friendly, despite the jungle music editing MNET used, he picked up a lot of friends on the show and was loved by a lot of the younger trainees; seonho said that he would only share his special mango snack with Dongho

• but Dongho is also a good Gryffindor

• one time he almost fought a drug dealer who had threatened him and the group (omfg wht)

• he is willing to take the lead to be a leader, on adopt101 he patiently and diligently helped Haknyeon with his parts

• he can be just as ambitious as anyone, though it may come off as a little headstrong~ his clases w/ Sewoon~ but it isn’t malintentioned

• his instincts are sharp, and he isn’t afraid to voice them--when he heard the voice doubling in Daehwi’s BIL team, he wasn’t hesitant to immediately call them out. In this way, he wants to act justly and fairly

• hufflepuffs typically hold peace over everything, including justice in some cases for the sake of avoiding conflict, but that isn’t the case for Dongho because he is the type to call people out on their BS, immediately

• savage as hell *when watching Jonghyun’s center audition* --dongho: *it would’ve been very good....if you couldn’t hear anything”

Minhyun (CEO/Emperor Hwang) - ravenpuff

• Minhyun got the title CEO Hwang for good reason, he was able to form an incredibly strong team from only short analysis after spending some time with them and he found very strong team dynamics within the people he chose; he knew what he was doing when he chose the Justice League team

• Minhyun is supposedly the most intelligent of the members of Nu’est (even though he can’t type for shit)

• he is incredibly dedicated to his “studies”; though not necessarily academic, he will put his all into learning and  applying himself and has been called the most applied of the nu’est members

• he worked incredibly hard in preparation for the grade eval according to the other trainees and hence was most expected to rise in grade; however, he failed the reevaluation because of sheer exhaustion 

• when asked why he likes Minhyun so much, Seonho replied that “minhyun-hyung gives very good, practical advice”

• it may not be shown often, but I expect Minhyun is very intelligent (aside from the evaluation of group dynaimcs that formed the sorry, sorry team, he has shown that he can adapt successfully to several different concepts and master difficult dances even though he is a vocalist, and he dedicates his all to what he does)

• ravenclaws overlap with hufflepuff in their tendency to avoid all conflict, and this is very evident in Minhyun

• he consistently would check on the other members of his team, not wanting to overstep any boundaries or make anyone uncomfortable, and he was a key part in the harmony of each group

• despite being regarded as the “face” of the group along with Minki, he is still very humble and doesn’t talk much about his visuals

• he’s the motherly figure of the group, always nagging them to pick up after themselves and keeps their dorm relatively neat and orderly (how messy is their dorm gonna be for the next 1.5 years those hoes better keep it clean for him)

• he apparently always has body lotion in his bag, for both him and others to use (how considerate is this I’m gonna cry)

• he is allergic to salt and will react to his own sweat, but he bears through it to train and pursue his dream, proving his will and determination 

this is probably way longer than you expected anon im sorry lolololololaslkjasfal;sdfja lsdfjsdfsdafjasdfla;dsf

[yaz-the-spaz]

Let’s play a game called looking at things objectively (and not with 1D/Ziam/Larry goggles on)

I get that a lot of people are angry at/resentful of the beards and a lot of the time I am too but it's important to remember that Perrie's story is very different from most of the other beards, who came into things most likely of their own accord and on their own terms, and not as young and naive teenagers forced into signing a contract by the same shitty manipulative people from the same shitty manipulative tv show preying on desperate kids that 1D was

Just for fun let’s go through all the big things that people in this fandom criticize Perrie for (putting the rest under the jump cause this got hella long):

#1) She’s “extra” and an attention whore

Reminder: Perrie was under the same contract with Modest/Syco the entire time she and Zayn were together and therefore obligated (just like Zayn was) to participate in stunts

Said stunts were NOT her idea; she was  repeatedly photoshopped and also directed and told where to stand and how to look, etc. for photo-ops just like Zayn was (This Is Us premiere video anyone?)

There’s this persistent idea within the fandom that she was complicit in stunts just because she appeared to be more willing/like she was putting in more of an effort than Zayn. I want to stress that appearing more believable doesn’t mean that she was more willing - just because someone seems to be playing along well doesn't mean they're a willing participant. I think a lot of this type of thinking stems from people directing their misguided anger over the situation at her (as opposed to at Syco/mgmt where it should be) - again I wanna stress this was a situation that she had no more control over than Zayn did. Just because she was better at selling it than Zayn sometimes doesn’t mean she necessarily liked it anymore than he did

I also want to point out that she had her share of times where it was clear she was putting on a fake smile and/or wasn’t interested/happy which people often miss because they’re not as familiar with Perrie or her expressions as they are with Zayn’s, or they just don’t bother to look into it at all

For example let’s compare these smiles here with these smiles here which to me look pretty forced (interestingly enough these are some of the few that Zayn actually looks quite convincing in lol)

There’s also this idea that she started out less than enthused/willing about the the situation but became more complicit in it with time, which again I think stems from the same thinking as above with the misguiding anger/blame. But based on what I’ve seen I would argue that she was no more willing at the end of it than she was in the beginning either

If you look at videos of her talking about the engagement she honestly seemed just as apathetic and 100% done as Zayn did most of the time when she answered and even more recently both she and the other girls consistently tried to swerve on the Zerrie break-up questions whenever they were brought up (also wanna point out how she looks pretty much the exact opposite of broken up over the end of her relationship in that second vid lmao). That's not the behavior of someone who's all of a sudden willing to participate. The only difference is it just doesn't get highlighted because a lot of the fandom doesn't pay attention to her since they see her as the villain (and feel the need to demonize her just for being involved even though it wasn’t her choice)

For example in this video she seems extremely sarcastic and apathetic almost the entire time she’s talking about the "wedding” - not at all the attitude you’d expect from a supposedly excited bride-to-be

And then there’s this gem where again she seems super apathetic while immediately shutting down any questions about it and interestingly the interviewer seems to imply the topic might have even gotten blacklisted (I wonder why? Could it be because mgmt knew she wasn’t “selling it” very well either???)

#2) She uses Zayn’s fame to her advantage

Reminder: Perrie was subject to the same manipulative bullshit the boys of 1D were, she was coached on what to say and how to say it to push a certain image and angle (and also just as likely as the boys to have had her words twisted and taken out of context)

Bringing up Zayn in an interview is not reflective of Perrie using his fame to her advantage (as a lot of people on here like to argue), that is her team/mgmt forcing her to say certain things (sometimes even in a certain way) that they can then use to their advantage while simultaneously creating a certain image of her in people's minds (for example, as the innocent victim [previous years] or the bitter ex who can't let go [more recently])

Sound familiar? That’s because it’s a tried and true PR tactic and an especially tried and true Modest/Syco tactic. We’ve seen it happen with the boys over and over again yet with Perrie it gets dismissed as her “looking for attention” or “using his fame for her own advantage” as opposed to her being told/made to say these things to push the official narrative, which is what it actually is

#3) She’s racist (and dumb)

This is probably the main/biggest reason a lot of people have for hating her and on the surface it’s understandable but let’s break down the evidence shall we?

Most people cite the time she called Zayn and his family Indian in this totally verifiable and trustworthy magazine (can you hear me rolling my eyes?)

First off one of the biggest things we always reiterate in this fandom is DO NOT TRUST PRINT VERSIONS OF THE BOYS. So why then would we accept something that “print” Perrie has said in one random print interview as 100% Bonafide Certifiable Truth™??? Four words: Confirmation Bias and Double Standards. Perrie, as far as I know, has never referred to Zayn or his family as Indian in any other video interviews, performances, or on social media (or even in any other print interview for that matter). It was literally just the one time and on some shady ass news site no less - which leads me to believe that either the “interviewer” fucked up or someone in mgmt fucked up as far as coming up with a decent quote - and people jumped all over it because it confirmed what they wanted to believe, that Perrie is somehow the Devil Incarnate™ for being involved in something she again had no choice over and most likely didn’t even say out of her own mouth

As for the cultural appropriation allegations, I wanna make it clear I don’t condone that shit and as far as this whole post goes I do want to point out that I am a POC and the absolute last person to defend white people when it comes to their racist shit (check my #racism, #black lives matter, and #black excellence tags if you don’t believe me) so don’t even try to come at me with any “stop defending the racist little white girl” bs 

However, I do want to point how fishy it is that even after being called out for cultural appropriation multiple times her team continues to style her (clothes, hair, make-up) in traditional non-white styles (dread locks, indian and native american-like make-up and clothes, etc.) for promo and music videos knowing full-well, I’m sure, the reaction it’s going to provoke, which is why I think it’s important to bring up something we saw with 1D

Remember how they planned out down to the exact colors how each boy would be dressed to push a certain image? There’s no doubt in my mind that there’s a similar theme at play here 

Her team knows it will rile people up and get their attention on Perrie and LM and as the saying goes “no press is bad press” which by extension makes me suspect of the culturally appropriating things she’s done outside of music-related events, on social media for example. Were they really her idea/something she did on her own and decided to post or were they stunts used to push a larger narrative of Perrie as the “dumb racist blonde?” We’ll probably never know but given how we’ve seen seen clothing styles and especially social media posts being used to push official narratives (like Liam and Louis being homophobic) in the past, I have to admit I’m skeptical of it being all on her, especially considering the fact that I’ve never seen/heard her say anything racist out of her own mouth (although feel free to correct me if there’s proof otherwise) and that if she did I have a feeling Leigh or Jade would likely immediately call her out on it. And as we’ve learned with the boys when projected images of a person don’t match up with the things they actually do and say in real life that’s when thing start to get sketchy

In conclusion I think it’s time we stop acting like Perrie and LM haven’t had to deal with some of the same shit as 1D over the years

 All ll I’m doing is taking the same exact logic we’ve used in analyzing the boys and the shit we’ve seen happen to them and applying it to Perrie and LM who, having been under the same mgmt and label, were and still are subject to much of the same bs

[strawberrypoundcake]

Here are some examples of what sets off my fear and what doesn’t so you can get the idea of how it weirdly works, note don’t click this if you have scopophobia or a similar anxiety about being stared at. I’m gonna use cats so it shouldn’t be too bad, though cat eyes can make me uncomfortable too because of association to a human face lol. More than once cats have peeked over at me from doorframes or bedframes and have made me anxious for days.

Does this make me uncomfortable?:

No. (eyes not too wide, can see and evaluate cat’s face)

No. (even if the cat was staring at me, dilluted pupils don’t bother me even if they are known to bother a lot of people. It would only bother me in very specific circumstances that would be a normal, natural reaction in everyone.)

No, but had double take. (staring eyes not associated to the whole face freak me out by default on first glance, but upon evaluating they are not wide, they do not bother me)

YES (eyes wide, surrounded by a black border that simulate eye bags, the irises here can be associated with bloodshot human eyes slightly, plus it is staring and I cannot see the whole face. I frequently use this picture as an example for people and normally have to cover it with my hand or scroll to not see it lol.)

No, but heart skipped a beat at first glance (The eyes are too big to scare me and I can see the face, but the fact that this face appears disconnected from a body would have made me extremely uncomfortable had its eyes been wide, see below)

No (I can see the whole face, so it doesn’t bother me. But, vary the circumstances similar to the above picture, and it could bother me, check below)

When I see the two pictures above, which are just the cat’s faces and nothing else, because they are zoomed into the cat, my mind automatically connects them as being attached to a normal cat out of bounds of the picture, however, if these faces were zoomed out and attached to a whole picture and I cannot determine the entire body, then it would bother me, as below:

Maybe, but largely no. Now it makes me a little uncomfortable, but the longer I look at it the more it eases up. The eyes are still fine.

YES, NOW IT BOTHERS ME. I can’t even look at this lmao.

Again cats bug me a little when they have eyes like that but only in association to humans. Normally animals including owls don’t bother me. Just assume that if the above were humans it would increase my fear tenfold, but I do not feel comfortable looking up pictures of that for an example lol, so just assume how it would look.

Most of my friends think my fear has to do with an association to disembodied eyes or heads. Just looking at eyeballs doesn’t bother me, it has to do with an expression as well. Wide eyes associated with uncanny valley also bother me, which explains my fear of Detective Pikachu’s Mr. Mime, lol. Either way I mostly just consider this a weird mild mix of scopophobia molded by some personal trauma. 

Again, it’s not too bad. The worst to have ever bothered me that I can remember is some dumb creepypasta shit. If you look up “suicide mouse creepypasta” on google there should be an image of a Mickey head edit with realistic eyes. (I CANNOT look this up myself lol I tried and immediately closed out) That shit gave me anxiety for weeks on end like to the point that I would imagine it staring at me somewhere. It’s really fucking stupid because that creepypasta itself was dumb and didn’t scare me at all, but the image did even though it was a shitty, goofy edit, lmao.