#Los Angeles Quarantine

[hellishfig]

sometimes one decides to start rewatching a crown of candy because one misses the amazing roleplaying and storytelling in said gorgeous, wonderful season

and sometimes one who chooses that path suffers the consequences (i.e. screaming internally every ten seconds and the overwhelming urge to punch a nonexistent piece of cake in the face)

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

“Lone B.C. Sailor Arrested In U.S.,” The Province (Vancouver). February 8, 1933. Page 7. ---- Guilbault Alleged to Have International Police Record. ---- LONG BEACH. Cal., Feb. 8. (AP) I Charles Guilbault, 35, British subject. said by immigration authorities to have an international police record, was arrested here on charges of illegal entry and violating ship entry laws. 

The arrest took place on his small sailboat "Keep Smiling," which he sailed Into San Francisco several months ago from British Columbia, and granted a sixty-day permit of entry as a seaman. Later he came to Los Angeles, then went to Mexico, but returned here December I5 and anchored without passing through quarantine. 

Immigration inspectors said their records indicated he was a deserter from the British army and had served sentences In China and France in connection with altered letters of credit.

[merrybloomwrites]

A Podcast Love Story

Summary: The story of Shayne & Y/N, as told through a series of podcasts

AN: This story was inspired by a request from someone that tumblr isn't letting me tag, so that's dumb lol

Also, I tried to follow the actual timeline of when these podcasts were posted but I did take some creative liberty, so some things might not match up with when the were really posted irl

Wordcount: 3.4K

CW: very light mention of smut, talk about pregnancy

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SmoshCast #75 – How Shayne and Courtney Feel About Being Shipped Together

Dating someone who’s in the public eye was not entirely unexpected. You live in Los Angeles after all. When you and Shayne started dating in 2019 you decided to keep it a secret for a while. Neither of you were ready to share your relationship with the Smosh viewers yet.

This became more difficult when you decided to quarantine together in 2020 during the pandemic. Two weeks after he returned from Australia, when you were sure that neither of you had Covid, you packed your necessities and headed to Shayne’s. It was nice being together, but it did get complicated when he needed to film videos.

Sometimes you would go for a walk while he was filming. Other times you would hide in the other room. He’d triple check all his footage before submitting it to make sure you, and any of your belongings, weren’t in frame.

One day, a few months in, he and Courtney are recording an episode of the SmoshCast. He sets up at the small dining table in the corner of the living room. You’re on the couch, meaning you can’t be seen on the camera, but you are in Shayne’s view. It might not have been the smartest decision since you’re now stuck there for the entire time they record, but you have a book and a snack, so you get cozy.

You can only hear Shayne’s side of the conversation, so you’re not fully paying attention. That is, until you hear Shayne say, “If we so much as say hi to each other, Shartney fans poop themselves.” The mention of this ship between him and his castmate has you more focused on the conversation. Not because you’re jealous, because that would be ridiculous, but because all of you find it quite funny how hard the two of them are shipped.

He can’t stop looking over to you for the entire ten-minute segment. It’s subtle, but there’s definitely a connection between the two of you. It’s obvious that he’s reassuring you that there’s nothing to worry about. You especially like when he says, “You can ship me with anything. Ship me with bananas.” And you nearly lose it when he says, “I am begging you, please, make a ship edit of me and Kathy Bates.”

They continue to talk and the conversation steers towards how fans make assumptions based on what they see in videos. Shayne brings up how people were concerned about him for a few weeks at the beginning of quarantine. He starts to explain, “I was very quiet in those early podcasts, but the reason was, one, I was not getting enough sleep. I kept staying up late,” here he looks at you before quickly saying, “playing video games.” You again struggle to keep quiet, knowing that was not the truth. Unless “playing video games” has now become code for “having intimate moments with my girlfriend”.

He continues to talk about how his setup for recording was less than ideal and finishes by saying, “I wasn’t sad at all, I was actually having great days.” Again, you share a quick look, showing that you agree with him about how wonderful it’s been since you started living together.

They wrap up the podcast a little while later and Shayne is officially done with work for the day.

“Playing video games, huh?” you say teasingly.

“Oh yea, totally a pro gamer now,” he replies.

“You think so?” you say with a laugh.

“I mean, I could always use more practice,” he answers as he lifts you from the couch, carrying you to the bedroom.

SmoshCast #85 – American Horror Story: Adulting

A few months later and things are looking better in the world. This means a return to the office for everyone. You’d landed a job at Smosh, working in post-production, so now you and Shayne work together. You were nervous about being around each other all the time, but luckily there’s still a fair amount of the day when you’re apart. Shayne is often filming or in meetings or busy writing, and you spend most of the time at your desk working on the next video.

But sometimes, you get a break to see him. Shayne, Damien, and Coutney are filming a new SmoshCast episode, and you sneak in to watch from the back. The theme is “Adulting”, and they somehow start by talking about how they interact with the younger generation. You can’t help but smile as Shayne talks about his niece, endeared by the relationship he has with her. He also mentions grandchildren, which makes your imagination run away thinking about your future together.

You stay for a little while and just watch your boyfriend. He’s not saying anything crazy, or doing anything special, but you love listening to him give advice. You also love how attentive he is to his friends, how closely he listens to everything they say. When you do go back to your desk you take a moment to think about how lucky you are that this man, with a solid head on his shoulders and more emotional maturity than you’ve ever seen before, is your other half.

Smosh Mouth #5 – Shayne and Y/N Share Their Love Story

“Welcome back to Smosh Mouth, I’m Shayne.”

“And I’m Amanda.”

“And today we have a very special guest. We have my lovely wife, Y/N Topp,” Shayne says, smiling at you as he finished the introduction.

“Hello everyone,” you say into the microphone.

It’s weird being in front of the camera. It’s only happened a few times in the years that you’ve been with Shayne. Even though you also work at Smosh, you’re always behind the scenes. You’ve only really been in videos that highlight the crew, so the focus has rarely been on you.

But today you’re finally sitting down to do a podcast for the channel. They’d just revived the podcast after a nearly three-year hiatus.

So much has happened in your personal life since then. At the time that SmoshCast was airing, your relationship with Shayne was fairly new, and you weren’t ready to share it yet. Within a year of that last episode going live, you two had gotten engaged. This led to you guys getting married, and as of 22 weeks ago, you being pregnant with your first child.

“Well, I for one am very excited to have you here today,” Amanda says. “I cannot wait to grill you on every last detail of your relationship.” You all laugh at that, knowing that while you’re sharing more personal information than you ever have before, no one is going to push you or Shayne too much.

“So,” Amanda continues. “Tell me, how did you meet?”

You look to Shayne, encouraging him to start the story.

“We met in 2019,” he begins. “Someone had recommended a book to me, so I was at the library to pick it up. While I was looking through the shelf Y/N came over and started looking through the section as well. We kind of started at opposite ends and moved to meet in the middle. Turns out we were both looking for the same book.”

“No you were not!” Amanda interjects.

“We really were,” you say to confirm. “We basically have the most cliché meet-cute story.”

“Ya, no kidding! So, what happened next?” she asks.

“Well, I had picked up the book first and noticed Y/N glance at it. So we started talking and I told her she should take the book first and I’d read it when she’s done.”

“And then he very smoothly said he could give me his number so I could tell him when I was returning the book,” you add.

“Look at you,” Amanda says. “Making the bold moves.”

“I had to give it a try,” Shayne says with a laugh.

“And it worked. I texted him a couple weeks later, the day before I returned the book.”

“I didn’t have her number,” Shayne says. “And I was kicking myself for not getting it because waiting to hear from her was pretty torturous I’m not gonna lie. So as soon as she texted about the book I asked her on a date.”

“Which actually shocked me at first. I really though he only was interested in the book.”

“Did you know who he was?” Amanda asks. “Like, had you watched Smosh or seen him on TV before you met?”

“I did know who he was. I had just started watching Smosh, so I recognized him but really didn’t know much about him.”

“Did you start watching old videos and try to get to know more about him after you met? Or after he asked you out?”

“I tried not to. I wanted to get to know him naturally, not through videos online. But there was a video posted after he asked me out but before our date called ‘Why We’re Bad at Dating’ and I couldn’t resist. And I truly think it helped us hit it off on that first date.”

“How so?” Amanda inquires.

Shayne takes that question, saying, “In the episode I talked about what I do on dates that kind of lead to there not being a second date. And Y/N/N called me out on that.”

You chime in, adding, “He said he puts on a ‘CW’ version of himself. I told him not to do that. And I admitted to being just as anxious about the date as he was so we should just forget the pressure and hang out and get to know each other.”

“Well, that’s adorable,” Amanda says. “So obviously you started dating and kept dating. When did you take the next step?”

Shayne takes this question and says, “I asked her to be my girlfriend a couple months later. And then we moved in together shortly after the start of the pandemic. Which was slightly challenging when it came to filming at home for Smosh since we wanted to keep the relationship a secret for a while.”

“Yea, how in the world did you make that work?”

“We were very, very careful,” you say. “I definitely hid in the bathroom more than once to stay out of frame.” At this you all laugh, and you add, “Totally worth it, though.”

“Ok, next juicy question. Shayne, how did you propose?”

“So, I hired a sky writer,” he says before laughing and continuing, “No, just kidding. We’d been dating for a year and a half, living together for almost a year at the time. We rented a cabin in Colorado for a few days and on the second day we went on a hike. Packed a picnic, did the whole thing. And I uh, I proposed at the top of the mountain.”

“You guys are literally a romcom,” Amanda quips.

“Would a romcom do a hike proposal? I feel like they’re always at fancy restaurant or the beach. Or like, yelling ‘Will you marry me?’ As the girl walks away down a street in the pouring rain,” you say.

“Oh, a hike proposal is very Lifetime or Hallmark.”

“Good point, it’s totally been in at least one of those movies.”

“Did you like that it was on a hike?” Amanda asks.

“Yea, Y/N/N, did you like it?” Shayne says, pretending to be truly concerned and worried about your answer.

“Hated it,” you say jokingly. “No, honestly, I loved it. Shayne and I always bonded over how much we love nature, so it was perfect for us. I can’t imagine it being any other way. I know a lot of girls want to make sure their nails are done so they get that perfect ring picture, which totally fine, not judging at all. But it definitely felt right that I literally had dirt under my nails and scrapes on my palms from slipping up the hill. Much more authentic that way.”

“And the wedding, anything you want to share about it?” Amanda asks.

“We actually got married in New Mexico,” you say. “It was the central spot for both our families. It was last April, so, beautiful weather during the day. And we lucked out that the temperature didn’t drop too much at night.”

“Very nice,” Amanda replies. “Shayne, anything to add?”

“We kept it pretty small, just family, and close friends. I feel like it was a very typical wedding, but it was ours, you know? So, it was special.” Shayne blushes and you know that your wedding day means more to him than he’s letting on. And that’s fine with you. It was a private event, and even though you’re sharing your relationship now, neither of you want to give away too much about your wedding.

“Aw, he’s getting red,” Amanda jokes. “Did you go on a honeymoon?”

“We did. We went to Hawaii. Neither of us had been before so we knew it would be special for us. We wanted to experience something new together,” you answer.

“Cute!” she replies. “Now, dedicated fans know you guys are together, know you’re married and all that. But there is some news you two have to share that no one knows, is that correct?”

“That’s right,” Shayne says. He looks at you, silently asking if you want to say it. But you can tell he’s bursting to tell everyone, so you give him a nod to continue.

“Y/N and I are having a baby,” he says.

“Hell yea you are! Smosh baby!” Amanda cheers. “Congratulations to you both! Y/N, how are you feeling?”

“Pretty good right now. I’m in the second trimester so my morning sickness is mostly gone, thank god. We’re very excited, got some classes we’re planning to take and we’re reading all the books so I’m sure we will still be extremely unprepared,” you say with a laugh.

“If there’s anyone I trust to figure it out and be great parents, it’s the two of you,” Amanda replies earnestly.

“Thank you, Amanda,” Shayne says.

The podcast continues with Amanda continuing to ask questions and you and Shayne sharing more stories about your time together.

You wrap up recording by mid-afternoon. You have an appointment with your doctor scheduled and since it’s so close to the end of the day, Shayne was also given time off to join you. Everything goes well and as he drives you both home you can’t help but be grateful that the two of you were brought together.

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: Office Nightmares

It’s been a month and a half since recording your episode of SmoshMouth, and three weeks since it aired. The news that you and Shayne are expecting a baby spread faster than anything you’d experienced before. You’d both received messages of congratulations from more people than you had ever expected: from Smosh fans to Disney fans, and even Goldbergs fans. You never imagined the amount of support you’d receive.

You had the morning off for yet another checkup with your doctor. You get back to the office early, but technically you’re still scheduled to be off, so you opt to sit in as they record the next Reddit Story video/podcast. It’s one of your favorite series currently, and you love listening to Shayne read all the stories.

He begins the third story, reading the title, “Am I the asshole for telling my wife that I’m not taking off of work to be present at our daughters’ birth?”

They joke around for a bit, and then he dives into the story, reading how the man explains that he couldn’t take off work cause there’s a project and they need him there. The wife finds out that’s a lie, and it mad that he didn’t take time off. He says he wants to work more so they’d have more money after the birth, and that the baby wouldn’t even remember him being there. He finishes by saying he doesn’t know why it’s such a big deal to be there at the birth, and even blames the wife’s hormones for her being upset about it.

Shayne, along with Spencer and Tommy begin to share their thoughts on the story. You smile and nod as Shayne makes the point of, “He keeps saying the baby’s not gonna remember, but you’re fucking wife will!”

They even give reasons why they’d understand him not being there, with Tommy saying, “If they were really desperate for cash then I’d get it,” and Spencer saying he’d understand if he were terrified of being around childbirth.

The boys then look over to you and Spencer says, “Y/N, you’re pregnant, how do you feel about this story?”

“Yea,” Tommy adds, “would you kill Shayne if he did this?”

“Oh, for sure!” you call out.

“C’mere,” Shayne says. “You’re probably the one most qualified to give an opinion here.”

You look to Kiana who’s directing the video and she gives you a nod, so you walk onto the set and stand behind Shayne, leaning down so your face is next to his and your voice will get picked up on his microphone.

“What are you’re thoughts on this?” Tommy asks.

“You guys definitely made a lot of great points. I mean, childbirth is terrifying, and I keep trying to ignore the fact that I do have to actually, you know, birth a human. But I know that Shayne will be there and is studying to be the best support person. I mean, he’s read enough books about it, I think he could deliver the baby himself if necessary,” you say with a laugh.

“I will add, if this was the father of my child, I’d wonder what he actually deems important. Because this is arguably one of the biggest days of everyone’s life. First of all, it should be important to him. It’s literally his child entering the world. It’s a privilege to be one of the first people that baby will ever meet. And then, what will be a big enough deal for him to take off work in the future? Baby’s not gonna remember her first birthday, is he gonna go to that? She has a dance recital at three years old, is he going to think that’s silly and not go?”

“Oh, I didn’t think of that, but it makes sense,” Spencer replies. “He definitely seems to have his priorities and being there for his family isn’t one.”

“I truly cannot imagine not being there when our kid is born,” Shayne says. “My worst fear would be if something kept me from being there.”

“Because you’re a good person,” Tommy says bluntly, and everyone laughs.

You head back off camera as they continue on.

After a few more stories Shayne begins another entry, titled, “And I the asshole for eating the last doughnut before my pregnant coworker could have one?” He looks at you once he reads it and laughs before saying, “Y/N’s face says, yes absolutely you are.”

He reads the story which explains that the young employee ate his allotted two doughnuts, and when the pregnant coworker didn’t show up after half an hour, he ate her two as well. She gets there shortly after and explains she had car trouble and is upset to see everyone had a treat but didn’t save her any. Later, the boss pulls aside the employee to tell him he’d been rude to his coworker.

After he finishes the post the boys discuss the etiquette of eating communal snacks in the office before Shayne says, “Also, if there is one thing I know, it’s that you never mess with a pregnant woman’s food unless you want to die.” You laugh so loudly at this that you know for sure the mics picked it up from across the room.

“Y/N, anything to add?” Spencer says.

You walk over again and state, “Listen, all I’m say is that I’m mad you guys are just talking about doughnuts when we don’t have any. Cause cravings are a bitch and now I am literally not going to stop thinking about doughnuts until I get one.”

After moving offscreen you realize you need to pee, again, so you leave the studio to head to the bathroom. Once you’re out of the room Shayne says, “Hey Kiana, can I have my phone a second?”

“Why do you need your phone?” Spencer asks.

“I gotta doordash some doughnuts.”

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AN: Thanks for reading! Let me know if you have any requests for Shayne stories!

Taglist: @american-girl001 @tatumrileyslover @queenofcaradelle @1nkm0nster

[becausebuckley]

michelle's buddie fic recs: week 36!

a couple more recs for you <3 i've been slowly making my way through the sharing a bed ao3 tag because Reasons lmao but there's plenty of variety if you're in the mood for something else as well!

this is a mix of fics with all ratings, so some include NSFW content. please take a look at both the ratings and the fic tags before reading!

if you come across something you like in this list, remember to show some love to the author by leaving kudos and a comment!

bed chem | rangerdanger (mxgicxltrxgedy)?@call-me-medusa | 6.6k | E

the three times Buck and Eddie talked about sex before they (+1) had sex for the first time. this captures the buddie dynamic so well! i love seeing buck get all flustered <3

everything always works out in the end | cowboygogetem | 20.6K | T

While Eddie is still recovering mentally from being shot, the 118 goes to a remote lakehouse for a well-deserved vacation. Along the way, Eddie realizes that he and Buck have built a life together. the maddie & eddie in this fic is BRILLIANT and i love it so much!!

giver/taker | spiritsontheroof/@spiritsontheroof | 7.2k | G

Eddie wants, wants, wants. cannot express how much i love it when eddie lets himself have good things and this fic is the perfect example of that <3

IKEAn't Believe We're So Close Yet Sofa | znks/@znks | 7.5k | M

Just your standard traditional typical snowed-in IKEA fic but in Los Angeles with some silly firefighters i've reread this multiple times actually, it's just that good! i'm a sucker for a snowed-in scenario and this is such a great one!!

pauses, then says you're my best friend (you knew what it was) | instantcaramel/@getemcowboybuckley | 4.2k | G

buck drags eddie to a taylor swift concert. wackiness ensues. i love love love a good social media fic (especially when formatted this well!) and seeing both buddie and eddie's swiftieism unfold is lovely <3

share this hour of make-believe | fleetinghearts/@shitouttabuck | 1.2k | G

quarantine finds eddie sharing a bed with a pillow-thief and sleep-talker. he minds less than he thinks. sleep talking buck my beloved <3 this is funny and soft and so good!

you could call me babe for christmas ('tis the damn season) | prettyboybuckley/@prettyboybuckley | 30.3k | T

Buck and Eddie pretend to be dating as Buck takes the Diaz boys along to Hershey. Once there, things get a little out of hand, and Buck comes to a realization... fake dating! fake proposal!! such a lovely fic!!

[precioustarkey]

journalism at its finest

summary: you have made a career for yourself by interviewing celebrities, but are feeling a little uncomfortable when one hits close to home.

warnings: none

i nervously climbed into my car. the engine only makes my nerves rattle more. growing up, i was infatuated with actors and musicians. i found myself watching movies for the actors instead of the plot. listening to songs for the singers instead of the message. i can't explain my relationship with the media. i guess being online a lot as a teenager is to blame.

regardless, i knew from an early age that i wanted to work in the industry. not as an entertainer, but in the background. i wanted to observe the lifestyle up close. going to college for journalism was the best decision i have made for myself because now i get to live out my fantasy. 

i get paid to interview these people. and though i find a lot of them uptight and spoiled, the nosy side of me loves picking them apart. because of my job, i try my best to stay neutral on these celebrities so that they don't feel uncomfortable. apart from the research i do in order to come up with my questions, of course.

today is different. there is a show called "outer banks" that came around during quarantine, so with my free time, i binge-watched the entire first season. as i mentioned, normally i watch tv shows and movies for the actors, but i hadn't seen anyone in this show. 

however, when i delved deeper into google, i found the name of one of the actors to be familiar. drew starkey. i quickly found out that he grew up in north carolina, as did i. confused, i pulled myself from my cocoon on my couch to find my old high school yearbooks. grabbing one at random, i see him grinning in his senior photo. how could i forget? 

ever since i discovered this, i avoided the show like the plague. even though i had been surrounded by celebrities for years now, i had never known one of them personally. it almost ruined the glamorous aura surrounding them. imagining him as a regular teenage boy in the classes we shared was humbling. he wasn't mean in high school, not at all. if anything, i remember finding it odd that he hung around the theater kids because he was a total jock.

because of quarantine, i knew that press would be difficult for the actors, and because of this, i never anticipated having to interview them. which helped ease my nerves. moving to los angeles meant that i would interview every celebrity on the new up-and-coming shows. part of me hoped the hype surrounding the show would die down before the lockdown did.

the entire ride to the studio, i told myself over and over again that there was no way he would remember me. he was a jock, and i barely spoke. it wasn't the fact that i was shy, high school just wasn't for me. i counted down the days to graduation. i was only there because i had to be. i put more focus on my studies than my social life. 

in the back of my mind, i can't help but fear that seeing him will bring back memories of being the closed-off kid i was back then. as long as no one mentions it, everything will be okay. i repeated that to myself a few times before parking my car in the lot. removing my seatbelt as slowly as possible to buy time.

my hands are shaking as i walk to my studio. i send passing smiles to my coworkers as i make my way to the bathroom. i confirm that my hair, face, and outfit look presentable, and read over my questions one last time. 

the cameraman walks up to me as i take my seat to wait for the cast to arrive. "i just got a call; austin and drew are going to be the only ones you're interviewing today. madelyn, rudy, and  madison will be interviewed tomorrow," he says, looking for any sort of confirmation. "that sounds perfect," i say, smiling, still looking at my cards. 

i hear footsteps coming from the hallway and quickly stand up. austin and drew emerged into the room with their crew. "hello! so nice to meet you, my name is y/n," i say with a grin as i hold out my hand to them. they do the same, introducing themselves as they take turns shaking my hand. 

all three seats are now filled, so we can begin the questions. the first fifteen minutes go perfectly; we're laughing, they're thoroughly interested in the questions, and they're giving great answers. turning my attention to drew, i ask, "has this sudden change in lifestyle been difficult for you at all? to go from putting your all into basketball, to then deciding on theater in college?" 

he looks taken aback by my question. that nervous feeling in my stomach is slowly creeping back. i made sure that his sports background was easy to find online, so i was confident he wouldn't be too surprised. "wait a second. y/n? y/n y/l/n?" i can feel my cheeks flush at his realization. 

"can i be honest? i was hoping you wouldn't notice," i said, covering my face with my note cards. we are now sharing smiles. "oh my god. i sat behind you in algebra, you're the only reason i passed that class," he says in between laughs. seeing him in person has brought all of those little memories flooding back. 

after a minute or so of catching up, their team urges us on. "we've got other interviews, guys," the man says impatiently. we carry on for an additional fifteen minutes or so before i have run out of questions to ask. we said our farewells, and i thanked them for coming.

just as they were leaving, drew turned around, brushing past the guys they had walked in with. "y/n can i get your number? i would love to catch up properly whenever we both have time," he says, pulling out his phone. "yes, of course!" i smile, quickly typing in the numbers before they are once again rushed away. 

it felt like no time before my phone started dinging.

part two is here!

[books]

Writer Spotlight: Elise Hu

We recently met with Elise Hu (@elisegoeseast) to discuss her illuminating title, Flawless—Lessons in Looks and Culture from the K-Beauty Capital. Elise is a journalist, podcaster, and media start-up founder. She’s the host of TED Talks Daily and host-at-large at NPR, where she spent nearly a decade as a reporter. As an international correspondent, she has reported stories from more than a dozen countries and opened NPR’s first-ever Seoul bureau in 2015. Previously, Elise helped found The Texas Tribune, a nonprofit digital start-up, after stops at many stations as a television news reporter. Her journalism work has won the national Edward R. Murrow and duPont Columbia awards, among others. An honors graduate of the University of Missouri School of Journalism, she lives in Los Angeles.

Can you begin by telling us a little bit about how Flawless came to be and what made you want to write about K-beauty?

It’s my unfinished business from my time in Seoul. Especially in the last year I spent living in Korea, I was constantly chasing the latest geopolitical headlines (namely, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un’s big moves that year). It meant I didn’t get to delve into my nagging frustrations of feeling second-class as an Asian woman in Korea and the under-reported experiences of South Korean women at the time. They were staging record-setting women’s rights rallies during my time abroad in response to a stark gender divide in Korea. It is one of the world’s most influential countries (and the 10th largest economy) and ranks shockingly low on gender equality metrics. That imbalance really shows up in what’s expected of how women should look and behave. Flawless explores the intersection of gender politics and beauty standards.

Flawless punctuates reportage with life writing, anchoring the research within your subjective context as someone who lived in the middle of it but also had an outside eye on it. Was this a conscious decision before you began writing? 

I planned to have fewer of my personal stories in the book, actually. Originally, I wanted to be embedded with South Korean women and girls who would illustrate the social issues I was investigating, but I wound up being the narrative thread because of the pandemic. The lockdowns and two years of long, mandatory quarantines in South Korea meant that traveling there and staying for a while to report and build on-the-ground relationships was nearly impossible. I also have three small children in LA, so the embedding plan was scuttled real fast.

One of the central questions the book asks of globalized society at large, corporations, and various communities is, “What is beauty for?” How has your response to this question changed while producing Flawless? 

I think I’ve gotten simultaneously more optimistic and cynical about it. More cynical in that the more I researched beauty, the more I understood physical beauty as a class performance—humans have long used it to get into rooms—more power in relationships, social communities, economically, or all of the above at once. And, as a class performance, those with the most resources usually have the most access to doing the work it takes (spending the money) to look the part, which is marginalizing for everyone else and keeps lower classes in a cycle of wanting and reaching. On the flip side, I’m more optimistic about what beauty is for, in that I have learned to separate beauty from appearance: I think of beauty in the way I think about love or truth, these universal—and largely spiritual—ideas that we all seek, that feed our souls. And that’s a way to frame beauty that isn’t tied in with overt consumerism or having to modify ourselves at all. 

This is your first book—has anything surprised you in the publishing or publicity process for Flawless?

I was most surprised by how much I enjoyed recording my own audiobook! I felt most in flow and joyful doing that more than anything else. Each sentence I read aloud was exactly the way I heard it in my head when I wrote it, which is such a privilege to have been able to do as an author.

Do you have a favorite reaction from a reader? 

I don’t know if it’s the favorite, but recency bias is a factor—I just got a DM this week from a woman writing about how the book helped put into words so much of what she felt and experienced, despite the fact she is not ethnically Korean, or in Korea, which is the setting of most of the book. It means a lot to me that reporting or art can connect us and illuminate shared experiences…in this case, learning to be more embodied and okay with however we look. 

As a writer, journalist, and mother—how did you practice self-care when juggling work commitments, social life, and the creative processes of writing and editing?

I juggled by relying on my loved ones. I don’t think self-care can exist without caring for one another, and that means asking people in our circles for help. A lot of boba dates, long walks, laughter-filled phone calls, and random weekend trips really got me through the arduous project of book writing (more painful than childbirth, emotionally speaking). 

What is your writing routine like, and how did the process differ from your other reporting work? Did you pick up any habits that you’ve held on to? 

My book writing routine was very meandering, whereas my broadcast reporting and writing are quite linear. I have tight deadlines for news, so it’s wham, bam, and the piece is out. With the book, I had two years to turn in a manuscript. I spent the year of lockdowns in “incubation mode,” where I consumed a lot of books, white papers, articles, and some films and podcasts, just taking in a lot of ideas to see where they might collide with each other and raise questions worth reporting on, letting them swim around in the swamp of my brain. When I was ready to write, I had a freelance editor, the indefatigable Carrie Frye, break my book outline into chunks so I could focus on smaller objectives and specific deadlines. Chunking the book so it didn’t seem like such a massive undertaking helped a lot. As for the writing, I never got to do a writer’s retreat or some idyllic cabin getaway to write. I wrote in the in-between moments—a one or two hour window when I had a break from the TED conference (which I attend every year as a TED host) or in those moments after the kids’ bedtime and before my own. One good habit I got into was getting away from my computer at midday. I’m really good about making lunch dates or going for a run to break up the monotony of staring at my screen all day long.

What’s good advice you’ve received about journalism that you would pass on to anyone just starting out?

All good reporting comes from great questions. Start with a clear question you seek to answer in your story, project, or book, and stay true to it and your quest to answer it. Once you are clear on what the thing is about, you won’t risk wandering too far from your focal point.

Thanks to Elise for answering our questions! You can follow her over at @elisegoeseast and check out her book Flawless here!

[kohiandie]

just a little rescue update: we've had four adoptions in the last two weeks, which is major! pringle, wobbles, pita, & rye gone to homes we're very hopeful for!

four kitties adopted

invited to host an adoption event in late october

calbee's made some great socialization strides -- he'll now come down to us for treats & food with some very sweet meows

finally got to the bottom of marshal's tummy troubles: coccidia & giardia OTL so big disinfecting / quarantining for the babie

stripes was neutered alongside miel -- he tested positive for fiv, meaning he'll have to be the solo kitty in someone's home or go to someone with another fiv+ baby at home. this boy is seriously an angel, obsessed with people, loves being in the car / exploring, super super social, so we're hoping he can find someone soon!

also marigolds because dia de los muertos is very important in our community & seeing them really reminds us of the sweet souls we've lost in a very bitter sweet kind of way. we miss gio a lot, ragnelle, & more, so we buy a ton to put around the house.

we've still got a full house over here, but every year (every few months, tbh) we grow a little more. from other people offering to foster or volunteer to just getting the word out around tx! it's been so nice ;;;

[dddragoni-drabbles]

The first time I ran into another me out there, it wasn't pretty. This was still in the first few days after the Shattering, before we'd figured out just how Infinite the Infinite Cities were.

It was the first time I'd stumbled into one of the truly dangerous realities. This particular version of Los Angeles had fallen victim to some sort of mutagenic plague- former people stalked the streets, twisted into monstrous forms, and aggressive to any outsiders.

(Don't fear, dear reader- that LA and most like it have been safely quarantined. Pay attention to warning sings while you're venturing through realities, and you'll be just fine. Unless you're brave enough to venture into the unmapped frontiers- then all bets are off.)

When it happened, I was already rather on edge, having had a close call with one of the inhabitants, lost track of the rift I'd come through, and taken shelter in some sort of old bunker. So when the door of my refuge opened and I saw myself looking in, I...

I'm not going to lie to you, dear reader. I panicked.

I threw myself at my doppelgänger, and we exchanged a few blows, but the other Thunder's cooler head prevailed over my panicked flailing. They pinned me to the ground and covered my mouth, and I'm thankful they did- one of the monsters might have heard my screaming if it had gone on for much longer.

After I calmed down, the two of us got to talking, and it turned out that we had a lot in common. Who could have guessed? Like me, they'd been living an uneventful life, and after the Shattering, they'd ventured out into the unknown for reasons they couldn't quite explain. We made a plan- we'd shelter here together for the night, then find a way out of this LA in the morning.

Then when I woke up, they were gone- along with my wallet and most of my spare clothes.

So that's the first lesson about Parallels- while you may have much in common, they're still their own person in the end.

-Exceprt from An Explorer’s Guide to the Infinite Cities, By Thunder Rockwell, Chapter 5: You, Yourself, and You

[moonwatchuniverse]

55 years ago… Apollo 11 press briefing 1969, August 12 after spending 21 days in quarantine the Apollo 11 astronauts gave their first NASA post-flight press conference, narrating a 45 minutes film and answering questions. The Apollo 11 Moonwalkers stayed 21.5 hours on the lunar surface with their Moonwalk lasting 2 hours 31 minutes collecting 21 kilograms of Moonrocks. During lunar EVA, only Edwin Buzz Aldrin wore his NASA-issued Omega Speedmaster 105.012-65 (NASA n° 43) as Armstrong left his (NASA n° 46) onboard the lunar lander Eagle. While in quarantine, the astronauts still wore their Speedmaster on the long black velcro while here we see the Omega Speedmaster on a lightweight steel mesh Jacoby Bender Champion bracelet. This was probably the mission watch, but later crews received two NASA-issued Speedmaster chronographs, one for daily life & training while another was already allocated to their specific spaceflight mission. A day later, cross-country celebrations brought the astronauts to New York, Chicago and Los Angeles. Between 29 July and 6 November 1969, the Apollo 11 astronauts and their wives travelled the world as their Goodwill tour visited 24 countries! (Photo: NASA/Mario De Biasi/Mondadori)

[cal-daisies-and-briars]

Hod so many of your fics sound good! 😍

In order of preference right now (just in case you don't feel like (or have the time to) doing all of them 😅

🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏🛏

📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖📖

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Thank you so much! 😊

THANK YOU!

30 for 🛏️:

---

Eddie bites his lip. He looks at the ceiling. Buck thinks Eddie probably knows he’d be asked this question, and is still scrambling to come up with a coherent explanation anyway. Which is actually all the explanation Buck needs. 

“Eddie,” he begins to let him off the hook. “You-”

“I just can’t be there on Father’s Day,” Eddie blurts. His eyes are big and pleading. “It’s so quiet. And it’s so loud because it’s so quiet. And no one is talking to me, and…”

Buck steps forward to hug him, lifting his arm awkwardly around the duffle bag.  

“Of course you can stay here,” he says soothingly. “You can stay as long as you need.”

Eddie slumps forward, just a little. Leaning his weight against Buck. Good. Buck wants to take it. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

“Of course,” Buck says. “But, uh… You know we’ll be going quarantine-style, right?”

“What?” Eddie asks, pulling out of the hug. 

“I don’t have a couch, Eddie.”

“What?” Eddie asks. “Still?”

“You’ve been here! You know this!”

---

30 for 📖:

---

 “I got this one, kiddo.”

“Thanks,” Christopher says.

The man rhymes off an email that tells Buck two things about him. One, his name is Edmundo Diaz. Two, he works for the city. Which confirms the whole firefighter tee shirt thing. 

“Alright,” Buck grins at the pair of them. “I’m gonna print your card and then you’re all set.”

“Yes!” Christopher whoops.

“Why don’t you go pick out some books, bud?” Firefighter Edmundo Diaz smiles at his son. 

“Okay, Dad!” Christopher replies confidently. “I’ll be in the kids’ section.”

Buck tries not to laugh. He’s so damn cute. 

Christopher walks off towards the kids’ section, turning in the direction of the nonfiction books. Ah, a kid after Buck’s own heart. How many books about beetles is too many books about beetles? Insert Mean Girls meme. The limit does not exist. 

Buck collects the printed plastic card from the machine, and hands it, still warm, to Edmundo. 

“Thank you,” he says, taking his son’s card. 

“Yeah, of course,” Buck smiles. “Welcome to the Los Angeles Public Library.”

“Not just for the card,” Edmundo says. “Thanks for letting him answer the questions.”

Buck raises an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I?”

---

30 for ⚡:

---

“He’s not allowed to watch R rated movies. No matter what he says.”

“I know, Eddie,” Adriana says. “I lived here for a bit, remember?”

They’re moments away from leaving for their trip. Too many moments, if Buck is to be believed. But Eddie has to make sure his sister and Ravi really understand the gravity of their responsibility. Christopher may be nearly fourteen, but Eddie doesn’t care. That’s. His. Baby. 

“Yes, but that was a while ago,” Eddie reminds her.

“I know CPR,” Ravi interjects. 

“I’d sure hope so,” Eddie replies. 

“EDDIE!” Buck calls from the driveway, where he is finished loading the car. “COME ON!”

“This is really giving me family road trips flashbacks,” Ravi whispers to Adriana.

“Have you and Buck secretly been married for twenty-five years?” His sister asks. “If so, why did we pay for a wedding gift?”

“Adriana, I am serious,” Eddie says sternly. 

She rolls her eyes. “No R rates movies. No coffee, don’t trust him when he says he’s had it before. No video games after ten. Check his English homework, sometimes he’s sassy about the novel assignments. Anything else?”

That covers it, really. 

Eddie taps his foot nervously.

[p-redux]

Waking up to the Team letting me know not 1, not 2, but at least 3 women who have dated Sam Heughan, may still be dating him, are in Las Vegas for the F1 Formula 1 races! 🤗

So, many people have surmised that Sam would be in Vegas this weekend because of the F1 events. No sign of him yet. BUT, look who IS there. Gia Marie, the ex he quarantined with in Hawaii during the Covid-19 pandemic. 👇

His ex, Monika Clarke, the one he was papped kissing with at a restaurant, and walking with her in New York. BTW, some people are convinced they have still been secretly seeing each other here and there, and have some receipts for this. Who knows. 👇

And, Susie Evans, most recently seen with Sam on the MPC boat trip in Los Angeles and IN his hotel suite at Shutters On The Beach in Santa Monica. She's there too AND at the Wynn, the hotel where Sam stays when he goes to Vegas. 👇

Granted, Susie did tag a female friend, but still.

IF Sam is seen in Vegas, WHICH lady will bring him luck that night? Let's roll the dice, shall we, or how about a spin on the roulette wheel, or perhaps the slot machines. 🤔❤️

[hemmohaze]

The One Where They’re Quarantined Together

June 2020

Gabriella’s been living with Luke since Los Angeles issued a shelter in place order for the entire state so he suggested instead of her commuting from Orange County from her apartment to his house everyday, just move her stuff in.

101 Dalmatians was playing as background noise for Petunia and her new cocker spaniel she adopted through a friend of Crystal. She named her Rowan. The two dogs immediately getting along the minute she brought her home.

Gabriella got up from their bed and slipped her feet in her fuzzy slippers, her feet muffling any sound as she made her way down the kitchen and making a pineapple açaí bowl she's been craving for the past 2 hours. She heard four sets of paws running towards her as she hit her leg and gave her best puppy eyes.

"You want some pineapple girlies?" She baby talked them. Their tails wagging back and forth.

Gabriella threw three individual slices of the fruit on the floor as Petunia and Rowan ate it and Petunia waddled to the couch while Rowan played with her turtle chew toy.

She heard the noise of a guitar and faint singing coming from the basement. Figuring she hasn't seen Luke in a while, she made him a glass of iced water. Whenever he’s writing music time isn’t a thing to him.

She trotted downstairs trying to muffle the sound her steps as she reached the dimly lit room, The Mac book being the only source of light in the space.

She knew about his life on the road from such a young age. He was constantly on the go and this is the first time in 5 years he's had a chance to sit back and relax. Except that's the farthest thing he was doing. Standing in the doorway he doesn’t even acknowledge her presence, way too focused on the guitar sitting on his lap and the voice memo he’s recording.

Gabriella likes to sit in the room with him sometimes whenever he's been writing and to give him some ideas or just company. It makes her feel peaceful and relaxed listening to his voice. He’s so creative and that’s something she admired about him.

She walked up to him and placed her chin on his broad shoulder. "Hey."

He turned around and looked at her, already smiling at her. "Hi."

"I got you some water." She stated as she put the glass down.

He rubbed his eyes and silently thanked her with a kiss on the lips and gesturing for her to take a seat next him.

She took a seat on the couch in the corner of the room being careful to not trip on any stray wires to sit next to him. Laying her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her back, fingertips brushing against her exposed spine.

“You okay baby? That sounds a little too sad? Even for you.” She asked concerned.

He smiles somberly and almost looked amused. “It’s not meant to sound that sad to be completely honest with you. It’s more of a look into how seventeen year old me felt as a teenager at the time y’know thick into the music industry. I have most of the lyrics but now I needed a guitar riff for it.” He explained.

“Can I hear the full song or whatever you have?” Bianca asked softly looking at him with pleading eyes.

“Course you can baby.” He smiled at her, picking up the blue guitar.

"All this running in motion time slips by till you’re lost in your mind,” He starts until he gets to the end of what he has. Looking up from his guitar he sees faint tears in his girlfriend’s eyes, making him concerned.

“What’s wrong?? Do you not like it.” He quickly asked.

"It's so beautifully sad Lu." She laughed through a sob.

"So these are happy tears right??" He questioned unsurely.

She nodded and threw her head back in laughter.

"But 3 days from now is CALM release day! Aren’t you so excited! " She shook his shoulders excitedly.

“I’m gonna be severely underwhelmed.” He joked making Gabriella slap his chest.

“You little shit.”

——————

Gabriella took the album release very seriously around the house as she bought a cake from Publix and noise makers in the color scheme of the album. She also delivered the noise makers to the other boys front porch’s and a little care package for them since they definitely all won’t be able to hang out as a group for a while.

She decided to be a good girlfriend and make celebratory waffles for all of the bands hard work that finally paid off. On her mind was also a celebratory blowjob for Luke, but he didn't need to know all her plans

Luke smelled waffles and groaned slightly as he pushed Petunia off his leg as she looked at him with a face that read 'I wanna murder you'

He slid on a t shirt and walked downstairs to see Gabriella listening to 'Vapor' as she cleaned the kitchen up in nothing but an oversized sweatshirt and some purple lace panties.

"I want to breathe you in like a vapor I want to be the one you remember." She sung to Rowan in her arms.

"Really? You couldn't have picked something from Youngblood to sing to her. At least thats two years instead of 5.” He laughed at her swaying the puppy who yipped at Luke to get his attention.

"Sounds Good Feels Good was the reason I became a fan so this album is special to me. Plus I went to Sounds Live Feels Live in LA with my best friend and that’s when I fell in love with you so don’t even." She defended.

“Whatever makes you happy.”

“Your voice is a blessing her puppy ears to the pop punk goodness that is Sounds Good Feels Good. I don’t think you should be treating me like this whenever I woke up extra early and made you waffles.” She pushed the plate towards him and a cup of coffee.

———

The band took shifts over their instagram live later that evening. First it was Ash by himself on an iPad, might add. Then Micheal and Calum, yet Micheal’s phone died before he could talk about Best Years. Now it was Luke’s turn.

Gabriella sat curled in a fluffy blanket on their shared bed rewatching Vampire Diaries while Luke attempted to join Calum on his livestream. He finally got it to work after 2 minutes of Calum struggling.

“How old are you Cal? 90?” Gabriella joked as soon as Luke joined Calum, the two yelling in excitement of seeing each other.

“Did Ella just call me old?” Calum’s laughter rang through the phone.

“Sure did dude.”

Luke shook his head slightly, reading the comments of people calling his girlfriend funny and asking where she is.

“Lemme give the children what they want.” He sighed in fake annoyance turning the phone to Gabriella who waved her hand with a smile. “Hi you guys!”

“What are you drinking, wait lemme guess.” Calum asked as he saw Luke’s tequila cup when he turned the phone back around.

“Ahhh tewqulia.”

“We ran outta beer so second best option here.”

“Bit of naughty water.” Luke said in a weird english accent that made Gabriella chuckle slightly.

At some point during their segment they started talking about cake flavors instead of the album tracks.

“How do you not like red velvet cake??” Calum asked in pure confusion.

“Well, it’s not the fact I don’t like it. I mean- you don’t go to a birthday party and they sing happy birthday and then they cut the cake, you’re like ‘eh red velvet cant wait to eat this one.’

Sometime during that conversation Gabriella ended up falling asleep. Luke gathered Petunia and Rowan so they could go potty before they slept anywhere near their room or in Rowan’s case on the bed since she always finds some way to sleep on Gabriella.

“Ella.” He whispered shaking her shoulder slightly. “How did you fall asleep that fast?”

“The sound of your annoying voice lulled me to sleep.” She laughed slightly.

The two laid together later cuddled up watching some random rom com but it was mostly background noise as they were heavily making out. Gabriella pulled on his lap as he took in her appearance. Black ribbed tank top and some blue silk shorts she got in some sale at La Perla a couple years ago.

Luke pulled back slightly and leaned his forehead on hers. “I think I heard something about a blowjob earlier this morning. I think I deserve one now that the album’s officially out.”

“Hm maybe you do for all your late nights and hard work.”

She quietly tied her hair up before moving down and kissing his waistband of his shorts, inflecting a groan from him. She pulled his dick from his basketball shorts as her eyes widened in excitement. Nothing compared when she got to suck him off.

“Shit.” He cursed when he felt her tongue kitten lick his tip.

She spit in her hand and slowly jerked him off. She slipped him as far as she could go and jerked the rest she couldn’t in her freshly manicured hands.

“Your mouth is so good.” He groaned as she made a choking noise.

She knew he was close by the way he was basically whining for her mouth as she widened her green eyes more making her look innocent as ever as spit covered her chin.

“Fuck, open your mouth.” He quickly said.

She obeyed as she stuck out her tongue waiting for his release, she felt it coat her mouth and some on her chest. Gabriella stuck out her tounge proudly displaying nothing.

“Good girl.”

He pulled his shorts back up his legs and grabbed a tissue, cleaning his release up off her chest.

Her hair clung to her sweaty neck due to the heat of the room as she had a dazed out look in her eyes.

“You okay??” Luke questioned noticing her dazed and confused look.

She nodded and climbed on top of him and laid her head on his chest.

“Happy album release,” She smirked grabbing a yellow noise maker from the bedside table and blowing it into his ear making him flinch.

“Jesus Christ.”

[merrybloomwrites]

I'll Be There for You - Platonic Smosh x Reader

Summary: 2020 starts great for reader before covid enters the chat and flips her world upside down. Her friends at Smosh are there to support her through one of the hardest times of her life.

Word Count: 2.5K

CW: covid, quarantine, parent death, panic attack

AN: Was listening to a Smosh Mouth episode and they brought up filming during quarantine and it randomly inspired this story. I lost my own dad during covid and Smosh was absolutely one of my escapes during that time so this story may just be me processing that haha

No romantic relationships for reader in this, just lots of supportive friends.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From the moment you hear about this new virus, you’re nervous about it. The news stations are trying to keep everything positive, spin it like this is no big deal. But what you see on social media is telling a different story.

You’re not so much worried for yourself as you are for your family. They’re all the way across the country on the east coast while you’re in Los Angeles. And many of your family members have lung issues. While you don’t know much about this coronavirus, it seems to be most harmful to people’s lungs, leaving you to worry. 

It seems crazy to be taking a trip right now, but the threat doesn’t seem to be too bad. Travel is still permitted, and so your group goes ahead with your trip to Australia. You’ve been looking forward to this for months, and try so hard to not allow your anxieties overshadow your excitement. 

It’s a solid group on the trip: Shayne, Courtney, Ian, Damien, Sarah, and Matt Raub. All of you are trying to ignore the increasingly worrisome news and keep things light. You attend two different expos, doing live shows as well as meet and greets with fans. Those bookend the trip, with lots of different activities in the middle, including visits to a couple zoos to learn about local wildlife. 

You hold koalas and snakes, laugh with your friends, and for a little while, you forget all about the bad things that are happening. 

But you can’t hide from it forever. Despite everyone joking about the virus, you can’t help but be afraid. Every day of the trip, more news is revealed, and things look more and more grim. 

Towards the end of the trip you do a couple planned meet and greets at Sydney’s Madame Tussauds. You’re on the verge of a panic attack the whole time, feeling like every person you talk to could be carrying this unpredictable virus. 

Ian picks up on this and pulls you aside during a break.

“You okay?” he asks, concern etched on his face.

“I can’t shake this feeling, like we’re all going to get infected and then bring it back home, and every time a new person comes in the room it’s like another chance for germs to spread. What happens if we get sick? We don’t know anything about this virus, or what it can do to people, and there’s more and more cases everyday-” your rambling cuts off as you gasp for a breath. The panic attack is officially setting in, the room spinning around you as it gets harder to breathe. 

You hear Ian say something, but the ringing in your ears prevents you from understanding him. A moment later Sarah is standing in front of you, catching your eye and encouraging you to breathe with her. After a minute of matching her breaths, you’ve calmed down and gotten through the worst of the panic attack. 

Sarah leads you to the couch, sitting next to you, close enough to be a grounding presence but far enough that you don’t feel closed in. Ian walks over, crouching in front of you and handing you a water bottle. 

“Sorry about that,” you finally say.

“Don’t you dare apologize,” Sarah says. “Your feelings are completely valid.”

Ian nods before saying, “I know we’re all making jokes about this, but I think everyone’s just covering up how scared they are. I’m definitely scared. You’re right to say that there’s so much we don’t know. I’d say don’t worry about all that, but that’s stupid because you’re gonna worry anyway.” 

You laugh at that, feeling much better now knowing that you’re not alone. Ian smiles and places a comforting hand on your knee and you reach out to hold Sarah’s hand as well. The three of you sit for a moment and then Shayne walks in the room saying, “Time to start up again.”

He looks at you guys, sees the redness in your eyes and notices the way the others are comforting you and asks, “Everything okay?”

“Yea, I’m good now,” you answer. “We’ll be right out.”

Shayne nods and walks away. You go to stand but before you can get up Ian says, “You don’t have to go back out there if you’re not comfortable. We can do the rest without you if you need some space.”

“I’ll be fine, but thank you,” you reply. He smiles and gives your leg one last squeeze before standing and giving you a hand up. It’s a nice moment, one where you’re reminded about how wonderful it is to work for Ian. He’s a kind boss, but also like a big brother to you, and you appreciate having him in your life. 

The rest of the time in Australia goes smoothly, and then it’s time to fly home. Sarah and Ian stick by you throughout the long day of travel. You don’t ask them to, but you can tell they’re worried that you’ll get anxious in such a crowded space. Somehow that makes it easier, and you’re able to spend the day joking with your friends rather than panicking. 

You’re exhausted when you get home, saying a rushed goodbye to your friends and heading home.

And then the isolation begins. The world practically shuts down completely as soon as you get back to the states. You go from constantly being around people, to being completely alone. It’s fine at first, you’re exhausted from traveling and this gives you a good excuse to be lazy for a few days. 

You spend a lot of time on the phone with your family, begging them to stay inside the house and stay safe. And they seem to listen, only going out twice for supplies. But apparently that’s all it takes. 

Just over a week after the Australia trip your mom gets sick. It’s obvious right away that it’s covid. For one thing, your mom has worked with children for decades. Her immune system is impeccable, you’ve never seen her get a cold or the flu before. For her to be sick is odd, plus she has all the symptoms, so it’s a no brainer.

And then a few days later, your dad is sick as well. You knew it was inevitable, that once the virus was in the house he was going to get it as well, but hearing it for sure makes your blood run cold. 

He already has a couple of lung issues, and you can’t help but feel like this isn’t going to go well. You hate that you’re stuck on opposite coasts and can’t do anything to help. You call them as much as possible, wanting to stay positive and hearing their voices always helps.

But then your dad gets worse and ends up in the hospital. You finally tell your Smosh friends what is going on. You’d kept it quiet at first, but they picked up that something is wrong. 

You try to continue on like normal, assuring your friends that you’re fine, but they don’t accept that. While they never overstep, you’re often surprised with kind texts or things appearing on your doorstep. 

It’s a particularly bad day. Your dad has just been placed on a ventilator. You get the news while in a zoom meeting, and everyone can tell that something has happened. 

“You okay, Y/N?” Courtney asks. 

You shake your head no and think about what to answer. You could be vague, just say it’s an update about your father and leave it at that. But these are people that care about you, that want to support you. 

“My dad just got put on a ventilator,” you reply. 

“My god, Y/N, I’m so sorry. Did they say anything else?” Shayne says. 

“Apparently the doctors said it’s a preventative measure. Supposed to let his lungs heal. But we’ve all seen the statistics. Most covid patients don’t come off the vent.” 

“If you need to go you can,” Ian says. “Don’t feel like you need to stay on this call.”

“No, that’s okay. I’d rather keep working. Either that or sit in silence in my apartment,” you answer with a shrewd laugh. 

“Alright, well if you need to leave at any time please feel free. No explanation needed, we’ll understand,” Ian says. 

The meeting resumes and you sit quietly while they plan the upcoming Smosh Games schedule. You don’t have any input, and it’s pretty clear you’re not really listening, but you’re comforted by the sound of your friends' voices. 

The zoom call finishes, and you’re left alone with your thoughts. You’re not sure how much time passes, but the sun has moved to shine through a new window as husk begins so it must be a while. 

You’re startled back to reality by a text on your phone. Your heart races, fearing it’s you mom with even worse news. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see it’s from Spencer, his message saying, “Check out your front door.”

Doing as he’d instructed, you see a bag that had been delivered. It’s takeout from chilis, enough food for multiple meals, all your favorites. 

This is just what you needed. Your appetite hasn't been great, but smelling the familiar food has your stomach growling. After sending him a thank you message you dig in. 

Now full of comfort food, you manage to do your normal nightly routine of cleaning up the apartment and taking a shower. You go to bed feeling scared, but supported. 

Three days later, you get the news you’d been dreading. Your moms calls in the morning, saying the doctors think he won’t make it through the day. It’s a Sunday, and you have nothing to distract you. People text, but you leave them unanswered. 

It’s a beautiful day in Los Angeles, and you do the only thing you’re allowed to do: take a walk. 

Losing track of time, you wander through neighborhoods, making sure to keep distance from other people out walking. It pains you to see happy families, people who are making the most out of this pandemic. People whose lives aren’t being drastically changed forever. 

You get back home in the early afternoon. Soon after, your mom calls. You almost ignore it, knowing what she’s going to say but wanting to delay the inevitable. But you know you can’t do that. 

It’s a short conversation, your mother unable to say too much between the tears. 

You hang up feeling numb. It grows dark outside and finally you text Ian, asking for the next day off. 

His response is immediate, expressing his condolences and telling you to take at least the week off. You ask him to send a message to the others, not wanting to have to do it yourself. 

You wrap yourself into a cocoon of blankets, lay in bed, and cry over the loss. 

The next few days you find that you’re exhausted, with random bursts of high energy. You use the energy to respond to your friends' messages, thanking them for reaching out and telling them you’re okay. 

You speak on the phone with Damien for a while a couple days after it happens. While all of your friends are supportive, he’s the only one who’s been through this before. He truly understands what it’s like to lose a father. His experience, his words, everything he has to offer is incredibly comforting to you. And when he says he’ll always be there to listen, you know he’s telling the truth and not just saying what he thinks is the “right thing”. 

And then that Thursday, just a couple days after your dads death, the vlog of your time in Australia is released. 

You get the notification that it’s been posted as you always do, and instead of being excited that a new video is up, it sends you into a breakdown. You’re crying, gasping for breath, and you need someone there with you. 

For the first time since all of this began you cannot be alone. People have been offering to stop by and because it’s been over two weeks since any of you have been around others it’s technically safe. But you always refused, assuring them that you’re fine. 

Now, however, you need people around you. Through tears you find your phone and immediately call Courtney, asking if she and Shayne could come over. She says yes without hesitation and stays on the call while the two of them make their way to your place. 

Needing the comfort of your room you say, “Front door is open. I’ll be in my bedroom when you get here.”

“Just a couple more minutes,” Courtney replies as you climb under the covers. 

“Okay,” you murmur to let her know you heard her. 

As promised she and Shayne enter a few minutes later. Without hesitation Courtney climbs into bed with you, wrapping you up in your arms. You melt into the embrace, sobs ripping through your body. 

When you’ve finally cried yourself out, you pull away and notice Shayne’s no longer in the room. A moment later he walks back in, carrying water, tissues, and your favorite cookies. You smile weakly at him and pat the bed, inviting him to join you and Courtney. 

He sits next to you, and you’re effectively sandwiched between the two of them. It’s comforting to be surrounded by two of your best friends. You’d always been close with them, and we’re happy that nothing changed when they started dating. 

They’re two people who will always have your back, no matter what. They stay with you until the next morning, Shayne leaving temporarily to pick up anything he and Courtney need for the night. 

You hadn’t realized how much you needed to be around people, but it’s clear how much it helps to actually see people and talk to them without a screen. 

Finally, you start accepting people’s invitations to hang out. You make good use of your apartment complex’s patio area so that you can hang out while still social distancing. You don’t often talk about your dad or how you’re doing, but rather about other mundane things. It feels good to talk to friends about something even somewhat normal. 

The other cast members take turns filling in for videos that you’re supposed to appear in. You’d tried going back to business as usual, but found that you couldn’t be as lighthearted and funny as you usually were. Rather than try to fake it, you’d switched to a more behind the scenes role for the time being. 

In May and June, fans start to notice that you aren’t appearing in any videos. Many theories float around, and you decide you’re ready to make the news about your dad public, instead of letting the rumors continue to spread. 

You make a post about your father on Instagram, a picture of the two of you with a caption explaining the loss. Support floods in, from friends, family, and fans alike. 

Though it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever experienced, it’s so nice to know you have such wonderful people who will always have your back.

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AN: Thanks so much for reading! I'm working on two stories for Whumptober, One Spencer x reader and the other Damien x reader!

[jmdbjk]

Episode 4: Disconnected

Beyond the Star, produced by HYBE Media Studio

Namjoon gives a brief recap of their rise from debut, through the struggles of the next few releases and then they take off with Wings, Fire, Blood Sweat & Tears, Fake Love, and Idol and all their accolades and awards.

They open this episode with behind scenes from filming the ON MV at Los Angeles' Sepulveda Dam. It was hot that day.

[did you say something Jimin? ahem... anyway]

Regarding the previous years to this point in time, Namjoon says he may not have made the best choices all the time but he believes he made the best choices he could at the time. Yoongi says they compacted 20 years into 7 years at the expense of their physical well-being.

Namjoon says he tried to prove himself to the world but now sees that what he's left with are the choices he wanted to make at the time with all his effort and he learned a lot from them.

Jungkook says he lived a life fit for himself, that if he had forced himself to do something that didn't suit him, it would not have been good. He did what he wanted to do and experienced a lot. All decisions he made for himself and which helped him grow.

In other words, they chose to work hard and run full speed ahead and we know that led to an almost burnout situation.

Namjoon states the lyrics of the song ON are what they mean: they've been through it and are on the other side, they made it to the other side together. Bring the pain, bring it on, it will only make us stronger.

It is heartbreaking to hear them talk about how much work they put into the MOTS tour, how involved they were with equipment and production decisions. Yoongi said it had been a while since they'd been this excited about preparing for concerts.

Things were planned that we never knew about. A large-scale gala for TV promotions?

And then the news early 2020. Jimin was asking if there was any chance the concert would ever go ahead as planned...

During the two years or so of the pandemic, each member dealt with the social distancing, self-quarantining, loneliness and lack of live performances in their own ways. They did a lot of nothing during this time. The footage shown here was not of them during the first months of the pandemic. There were no cameras set up during that time. They used footage from times when they COULD film safely to help represent how they were during isolation. Looks like Hobi and Jungkook in the hotel suite after the Grammy Awards and footage of Jimin in his apartment in late 2021, etc.

There were long periods of time when everyone, including you and me were asked or required to abstain from going outside, to isolate away from others, to not socialize with more than 5 or 10 people at a time, even with our families.

Bang PD reflects that BTS were at the peak of their careers, they lived to perform, and had to overcome the feelings of helplessness and that's how he believes they've grown as humans.

So they innovated...they produced the first online ticketed concert: Bang Bang Con. Over 750,000 viewers watched.

It was reported on the news that BTS was once again changing the industry.

And then on August 21, 2020, they released a song to enjoy with the fans:

If The Most Beautiful Moment in Life was the turning point, Dynamite was literally the explosion that shot them into the stratosphere.

Dynamite broke records of every kind: on Youtube the MV set a new record of over 3 million peak viewers during its premiere, almost doubling the previous record, and set a new all-time record for the biggest music video premiere on the platform and the most viewed YouTube video in the first 24 hours, earning 101.1 million views and setting three new Guinness World Records.

In the U.S., Dynamite debuted a #1 on the BBHot100, and is BTS' first #1 single in the US. The song became both the longest-running number one on the Digital Songs chart by a Korean artist and the longest-charting song by a Korean artist on the Hot 100, when it spent its 18th non-consecutive week at #1 the Digital Song sales chart and 32 weeks on the Hot 100, three of those weeks at #1.

Hobi said it was overwhelming that their sincerity had reached all parts of the world. Jin said it was a song to simply enjoy with fans.

Bang PD said he knew what this would mean for their future and what a positive impact it was.

Yoongi said they did the song in the hopes of giving everyone strength during the trying times of the pandemic. Namjoon says because of the situation (the pandemic) they lost so much (cancellation of the MOTS tour) so during that time, the strength of music and performances were their way to give comfort and support to the fans.

With the ongoing pandemic, they had to adapt. In October 2020, they produced Map of the Soul ON:E ... two online concerts that had a record-breaking 993,000 paid viewers from a total of 191 regions across the globe. It was performed at the Olympics Gymnastics Arena. It was elaborately produced. It was expensive. Lots of man-hours went into it.

They said they enjoyed doing it, they worked hard but it was a challenge because the missing element was a live audience... Army was missing. It would never replace a live concert's energy but they were still thankful they could even do it to begin with. It would be another year before BTS was in front of a live audience again.

Overnight on Nov. 24, 2020 they gathered in front of the television in their dorm to watch the 63rd Grammy Awards nomination announcements. Only four of them were there: Jimin, Namjoon, Jungkook and Tae. I had heard the others had schedules the next day and needed to sleep.

They had never known how the Grammy nominations were announced, this was their first experience and when BTS was announced you could feel their astonishment through the screen. The first Korean artist to ever be nominated.

During the Grammy Award broadcast (done remotely), they also performed their own song, Dynamite.

Alas, they did not win but they'd made so much history and broke so many records in 2020, the year of deep lows and the highest highs.

They felt motivated, knowing they still had room for success and had something to strive for.

They were proud to show the world that there are singers like them from Korea and that Army and BTS exist.

[notoriousbeb]

The My Tears Ricochet Deep Dive

While this song obviously has a clear reference to Taylor’s masters being sold to Scooter Braun in November 2019, I don’t think that’s the full story being told here.

When she released Folklore, Taylor shared via Instagram that “My Tears Ricochet” is about an “embittered tormentor showing up at the funeral of his fallen object of obsession.”

Now, why is she fallen? Because her work has been taken from her. Okay, one question answered. ✅

Now, who is the “embittered tormentor obsessed” with Taylor? Scooter Braun, of course…But see, I actually don’t think it’s that simple. I get why that’s the obvious first choice, though.

(Back story for new kids who don’t know why Scoots is trash: In July 2016, Taylor was outcast and called a snake due to a leaked phone call by Kim Kardashian and her then-husband Kanye West. Scooter was Kanye’s manager. Then Kanye put out the video of the song in question from the call—featuring a naked Taylor lookalike. Then Justin Bieber posted that video to Instagram with a photo showing him on a video call with Scooter and Kanye. The caption said, “Taylor Swift what up.” So, they’re all three supreme douche-canoes of the highest order).

However, I think Scooter’s top priority (as always) in buying Taylor’s masters was simply to make money. And if he pissed her off while doing so, that was probably a delightful bonus. But I wouldn’t say he bought her masters because he was obsessed with her. This deal was nearly three years later, and nothing had popped off between the camps in the interim.

I have more on this tormentor/obsessor/muse, concept; but first, back to Folklore. Upon its release, Taylor also revealed in a YouTube livechat that it was the first song she wrote for the album. And that leads me into a bit of timing discussion.

I think Folklore was the result of a few seismic events in Taylor’s life: a run-in with Harry at Ed’s wedding in December 2018 (which I think helped to spawn his second solo album, Fine Line); followed by talking to him during early quarantine in March 2020 in Los Angeles when the Lover tour got postponed and then cancelled; the pandemic itself pushing her, like many of us, into some serious introspection; and, of course, the sale of her masters to Scooter in 2019.

Since this is the very first song Taylor wrote that ended up on Folklore, my speculation is that perhaps it was penned in those first couple of days of the pandemic, before she reconnected with Harry in LA.

Fine Line would have been newly released—just three months prior—and on her birthday no less.

Which leads me back to the tormentor and obsessor. You know what I might find tormenting, if I were Taylor? If I’d been waiting for this one guy to grow the fuck up for years and then (perhaps after we ran into each other at our good friends’ wedding?), he confessed to me that he still wanted me but, even at 25, he still didn’t have his shit together (please see, “Renegade,” “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter”).

Then, after I piece myself back together following snake gate, some epic twat who bullied me online back then buys my work out from under me from the guy I thought I had a good working relationship with (Scott Borchetta) and while I’m dealing with that bullshit my ex I’m still pining for releases album on my birthday with songs seemingly about us and how he still wants me.

Yeah, that’d have me plenty tormented. And feeling like, since his first album was also quite “a tip of the cap” to me (his words) as well that, yeah, someone was a little obsessed with me.

So, anyway, the lyrics:

We gather here, we line up, weepin' in a sunlit room And if I'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes, too

We open at the funeral Taylor told us about. Then referencing a potential cremation. If she’s burning, so is he. Because they’re twin flames? Because they’re so close?

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe All the hell you gave me? 'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you ‘Til my dying day

Does this sound like someone talking to either a bully or a former business associate? To me it sounds like a very messy, very difficult, former lover.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around, saving face And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I can see how people could think this was about Scott, but not Scooter. But T herself said this whole thing was about one muse: The embittered obsessor attending her funeral.

Anyway, my take: it’s a lover she couldn’t let go of easily, so it ended messy.

And now he’s out promoting an album full of songs about them, pretending it’s not, because he’s a gentleman. But while he’s acting like she’s nothing to him, they both know what he said to her in private, and what those songs are really about, and no matter how much she cries and waits and wants him to grow up and come get her he just can’t — or won’t.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll means Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

This is a Biblical allusion to Ecclesiastes 3:5: “A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.” I think she’s referring here to an idea revisited again in “loml,” that she thought she’d be safer and maybe get the life she wanted with someone more stable, versus being in a relationship that left her starry eyed, like she was with Harry…and that’s how she wound up with Joe for six years.

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene

Ah, would it really be a Haylor lyric breakdown if we weren’t talking about ghosts and haunting at some point? 👻 They obviously haunt one another because they can’t shut up about each other. (Not that I’m complaining!)

Two Ghosts: “We're just two ghosts swimming in a glass half empty.” ....Ready for it?: “Wonder how many girls he loved and left haunted.” Cardigan: “I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs.”

You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

Even while doing the press for Fine Line, H was wearing her ring. Should we talk some more about the Haylor ring? Or burying and graves? Nah. I think these posts sum it up very well.

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace 'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake Cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

I think these lines could be a reference both to things he’s said to her and in his songs about her, particularly the pointed ones. “Lights Up,” for one, which to me, reads like an argumentative back-and-forth about why must things change in a relationship against the backdrop of fame. It also seems to include a tie to “Peter” with “I’m never coming back down,” as compared to “I didn’t want to come down.”

And I can go anywhere I want Anywhere I want, just not home And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones

And where is home in this case—and so many others? Each other.

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

I imagine this is her picturing him listening to her old albums, as she hadn’t done her rerecords yet. Also, again, doesn’t this all seem a bit…intimate and dramatic for a business relationship? Like, picture this moment in the Eras Tour in your mind, please, and tell me with a straight face that you’d sing like this for your former boss. It certainly doesn’t seem like anything you’d say to someone like Scooter. Why would she ever want to talk to him at all?

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet

So, this is where we get into the “embittered” part of Taylor’s original description of the song’s muse—the person visiting her funeral. Why is he bitter? Because he lost her. She didn’t stay. Perhaps because his own bad behavior pushed her away. “All the light couldn’t put out the dark running through my heart?” “I know you were way too bright for me. I’m hopeless, broken.” Also, and again, please see, “Renegade,” and “To Be So Lonely,” and “Peter” and also “Chloe or Sam or Sophia or Marcus.”