so thinking about eddie and his upcoming isolation and how i really don’t think buck is gonna leave him alone in it. 911 writers i am begging for a moment like this:
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"i hear your voice every time that i think i'm not enough and i try to be tough, but i wanna scream. how could anybody do the things you did so easily? and i say i don't care, i say that i'm fine, but you know i can't let it go, i've tried, i've tried, i've tried for so long...it takes strength to forgive, but i don't feel strong" - the grudge by olivia rodrigo // the last of us
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au where henry never goes to hnl because victor catches virginia in the act of trying to get rid of their son and stops her. henry getting to continue his young life in the real world. henry getting to remain friends with scott into their teens. henry and scott spending every day together. scott going to av and henry tagging along, and henry getting to join an extracurricular of his own choosing (art? track and field?) and scott tagging along to support him. henry and scott realizing their feelings are more than platonic and getting those terrified excited butterflies every time they see each other. knowing it has to be secret, but desperately wanting to be open with each other about it. henry and scott brushing elbows, knocking their hips together, sitting far closer than average teenage boys might, but henry loves scott's arm wrapped around him and scott loves henry's weight leaning into his side. henry and scott finding every chance they can get to be alone. henry and scott joking about "practicing kissing" at a sleepover and they do it late into the night with nothing but a flashlight on so they don't get caught. it flickers just a little, because henry still has his powers, he just didn't have to foster them for his own safety, and the bulb flashes in time with his racing heartbeat. they both laugh afterward, a little awkward and breathless, but both over the moon. they don't talk about it. henry and scott waffling about dates to homecoming and prom in their senior year, both egging each other on to get dates while secretly being so jealous that it stings in their throats. they both go stag in the end, and scott gets henry punch and henry wishes just as much as scott that they could dance together beside their classmates. henry and scott returning to the creel household after prom to crash, a little giddy from dancing and a little melancholic from keeping their distance from one another. "let's dance," scott says as he tunes henry's little personal radio, "just for practice" and they both go pink in the face at the memory of sitting on scott's bed late that night when they were 14 and kissed for the first time. that was "just for practice" too. henry giggling, all bright and lovely, when scott twirls and dips him. the radio crackles. they both stare into each other's eyes and think "i never want to be without him." and they never will be.
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I'm so fucking tired of ppl assuming I'm a teenage boy I'm not that young and I'm not a guy and it's funny when it happens occasionally and I'm in an amiable mood and idm being a little gnc ik I present somewhat masc even if its not rly intentional and ik my autistic/adhd mannerisms make me come across a little childish sometimes even if im constantly masking at work or in public and I can't control how other ppl perceive me and ik its natural for the human brain to make social assumptions all the time bc there's so much information going in and out it has to process so it automatically categorises shit so I don't mind it happening OCCASIONALLY but I've been getting so fucking many unnecessary comments lately and not just from strangers but ppl I know too and if one more person says some offhand shit to me I'm going to black out and bite until there's blood leave me the fuck ALONE
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i need five thousand hours in the day to play music and listen to music and write music and read books and watch movies and and knit and draw and watch tv and go for long walks and edit videos and cook and clean and learn how to make fursuits and plush and paint and do sudoku puzzles and lift weights and play dnd and cards and make comics and have long phone conversations and go canoeing and hiking and swimming and get 10 hours of sleep every night and do cyanotypes and papercutting and
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I'm sad today but the sun is shining and it's Friday and I got to see my best friend last night and everything will be okay. Not right now, but hopefully someday.
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adding on to that, there are few things more intimate than grocery shopping together. sometimes I fear that I value these small interactions too much or just more than the people I am with, but it is worth it to view it as a deep experience. like, now I know what brands you like and dislike. what items you gravitate towards. what small treats you like giving yourself. and now next time I walk by an isle I’m going to be unconsciously thinking of you. like that’s wild and so sweet and shows people you meet and love stick with you. idk maybe I’m reading too much into it but I feel like mundane moments are sometimes the most important
yes absolutely grocery shopping is top tier romance to me. like. there are six different but identical types of apples on sale here but now i know which ones you pick. i know which flavour of crisps you like. we are picking out all the things we want to share with each other. and even if there's nothing really romantic about it isnt it so easy and so lovely to treat it like there is. i think if you are able 2 try and see love + meaning in the routine chores of life then you will have an easier time seeing love + meaning in life as a whole. also its fun
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