#Maybe I should kill myself
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girls that were created by their fathers
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hm
#me when the disability disables me#maybe i should kill myself#im really just being a burden at this point#mimi being a sopping wet pathetic cat
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Just hearing my mom go “fuck I think he cvt himself 😔” and I’m just sitting here like I’m not covered in cvts
#The way she cares so much#but was never like that with me#I get it he has bipolar and an abusive girlfriend so he gets to have problems and get help#and I’ve never struggled with anything clearly so my 4 year sh addiction is just for attention#God it’s like I’m fucking jealous or something#I’m so fucking selfish hes the one going through something rn and I’m sitting here cutting bc I feel like I need to prove my addiction#maybe I should kill myself#screaming
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i think i have an object permanence crush
#me and this guy havent had any classes together this semester so i honestly forgot he existed but i just saw him in the hall and wow#maybe i should kill myself
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My mom said the perals in boba tea grow from trees💀 someone please get her proper education
#silly#random posting#irl stuff#silly post#silly posting#Maybe I should kill myself#/hj btw lol#parents are weird#but here’s the yapper
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No mainstream edm song can ever do what Sail by Awolnation did
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tried to take some cute pictures of my milf outfit so I went to the back stairwell of the science building and was fucking around and long story short I ripped a massive hole in the ass on a bolt of a pipe. I can't get into it. and to make matters worse the camera was turned the wrong direction the whole time so I didn't get any cute pictures. eek.
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passage from my diary:
each year passes.
i scratch my hair,
i pick my nails,
i make dust
just to sweep it up again
#i don't even hate myself#but the beauty and the repeation of life makes me want to die#the sensation is just too much#and when i don't focus on any one thing i focus on that and it consumes me#the next page says maybe i should move to seattle#maybe i should kill myself#i just don't know what to do#every process is the same#every experience is tangential#i am just wasting my time doing the same circular ride#i love#i heartbreak#i eat#i sleep#i make new friends#i lose old ones#i keep friends#it's all the same#it's just so much
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I feel chaotic and frantic and I think I’m going to make bad decisions
#mine#personal#the weight of the world hit me like a train#the aching in my chest#getting divorced#crashed my car#losing my house#could have blood cancer#what the actual fuck#I have held it all in this whole time and it hurts so badly#I have nothing and no one#maybe I should kill myself
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I can’t tell if my support systems are shit or if I am just that much of a crybaby. Probably both
#I was supposed to meet with my therapist and then cowork with someone#they both cancelled in the space of ten minutes#it was fair but I have no backups lol#and my other friend told me something I should fix in my app and said she would call#hasn’t#the application is due in an hour and a half.#then my computer froze#so now I’m restarting it#also I have a dissertation chapter due#that got extended by a week but I’m still not done#and I don’t understand how to incorporate the material I was given#also I was on my period all this past week#actually now that I spell it out what the fuck#maybe I should kill myself#it would be traumatic for friends but with a little therapy they could push past it!#it’s for the PLOT
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Even my cousins ignoring me
#Maybe I’m just a horrible person and she’s finally realized it#maybe she finally realized how bad I failed her#Maybe I should kill myself#who knows#really sucks bc she goes through periods where she hate me or ignores me#and last time it really fucked me up#Shes basically a second little sister to me#so having her ignore me or call me awful names or attacks me#really hurts#and I know she takes things out on me to feel better about herself#but I’m very insecure and have attachment issues#and she’s one of my 3 favorite people#Screaming
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Its like life doesnt even care that im depressed
#im down here already not handling anything and life is like yolo heres some more stuff#i cant believe i just said yolo#maybe i should kill myself
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ENERGETIC ⚡️
you make me feel so high
#atsuoikage#haikyuu#oikawa tooru#kageyama tobio#miya atsumu#oikage#atsuoi#haikyuu!!#they are not any specific member i just chose based on shot composition and vibes#so pls dont come at me saying u think so and so should be X member instead of Y member#I just want the vibes of them being on a competition show like p101 and then debuting together bc i think them being the JP members tgt#would be very sweet and help bridge some animosity or rival tension that exists like they are competing but also#they feel solace in eos presence being from same culture same language etc#tobio looooooves oikawa HAHA hes sooo starry eyed over him... tobio calling oikawa hyung im gonna kill myself#atsumu and oikawa get close maybe after iwaizumi gets eliminated maybe earlier/midway in the show? bc tsumu understands what it feels like#to suddenly pursue ur dream alone.. samu maybe trained with tsumu at same company but quit before they even enrolled on the show#atsumu being the mediator whenever oikage bicker LOL#oikawa being stressed af and snapping at tobio and tobio is so sad tsumu is like there there... ill go talk to oikawa hell come around itok#ats comforting oikw like telling him to ignore the netizen / bad edit etc and calming him down slowly and getting oikw to apologize to tobio#also tobio crawling into oikawas bed in the dorms to sleep with him at night and oikawa wants to complain but likes cuddling... deep downLOL
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Found a cool color palette. Might finish it later. (Probably not.)
#star wars#star wars the clone wars#star wars rex#star wars the bad batch#Glitched half an hour on his face for no reason#just cause I couldn't figure a skin color#like I come from impressionism#you know this small art movement#where half of the Chinese artists I follow borrows their wonderful color palette#Color palettes who are perfect to draw noice anime boys#but (we can't lie) where everyone tend to draw only fair skinned characters#So I'm bugged trying to draw realistic people with that#would probably help if I forced myself to do studies ya know#instead of looking at gensh1n art#skill issue as people say#maybe is should draw on a bigger file too#like not draw face with realistic feature on a 300x300 px square XD#But again this drawing was me procrastinating on another one#I hate finishing illu#I just wanna plan/doodle and layout#for others#my jobs of heart are storyboard or color key artist#background paint or compositing hell no#clean animation? kill me#I had a burn out last time I touched a graph editor#too bad that's the most demanded and entry level jobs#v_v#tips for people who want to enter animation industry#don't be like me#finish stuff
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