#Mild Chain of Thorns spoilers

[streettealee]

Wasting Beats In This Heart Of Mine

The Last Hours fan fiction. James Herondale x Cordelia Carstairs x Original Character with a side of platonic Matthew Fairchild, served chilled as the winter of London, 1903.

“If you could do it all over again, what would you change?” “Everything.”

How do you say goodbye to the love of your life? What do you do when you can't say goodbye? If you had one more chance, would you risk the entire universe to spend the last hours of its existence with them?

Lila Raftis is lonely. James Herondale is tired. Cordelia Carstairs is missing. Matthew Fairchild is drinking too much. Somehow, they have to trust each other in order to save the world. Every world. Someone has created a tear in reality, and the clocks are counting down until the universe's collapse. Lila must impersonate Cordelia to help James repair this tear and prevent doomsday. Matthew's just trying to stay out of trouble. When Lila falls in love along the way, she must decide which is more important: love or the universe?

or, it's alternate title: A Gentleman's Guide to Conversing with Teasing Young Ladies (with Possible Violent Intentions) of Suspicious Circumstances from an Alternate Dimension Where One Does Not Exist, published in 1904 by James M.H. Herondale.

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42234207/chapters/106041132

Below are some art pieces I feel fit the vibe of the fanfic (I have done my best to credit. If anyone has an issue, please feel free to let me know and I will act as soon as possible) as well as some quotes.

Piccadilly Circus at night, Albert Henry Fullwood (1863-1930)

Image description: a watercolour painting of the location Piccadilly Circus on a wet and grey London night. There are people milling the streets and lamps alight, causing reflections on the pavement. There is a dark shadow of a fountain statue. The buildings in the background are also filled with lights. This is not a modern scene, but of the painter’s view of the space sometime between 1863 and 1930.

Cordelia Carstairs, cami @skyllowarts​ (April 2023)

Image description: a stunning art piece of the half-Persian character Cordelia Carstairs from Cassandra Clare’s The Last Hours Shadowhunter series. Cordelia has dark red hair, often associated with rose petals in the books or fire (as you do when describing red hair, apparently) and lovely brown skin. Her dark eyes are focused somewhere in the distance as she holds her legendary sword, Cortana, in front of her. The glow of the sword softly highlights her hair and face. A small globe necklace shines brightly at her collarbones above the neckline of her deep blue dress.

Memento Mori, Iren Horrors (September 2021)

Image description: a pale and dainty woman in a large, almost drowning red dress is walking by a mirror where her only reflection is a skeleton (her skeleton, quite possibly). Grey moths fly all about the room, and spiderwebs hang by the mirror. On either side of the mirror are red candles burning white. The woman is holding a key and looking ahead at something the viewer cannot see. Her dark hair is cut short and it is decorated with a skull-in-a-rose pin, while similar skull decorations adorn her ears and dress. 

Are you sure the only you is you?, @creature-from-the-mud​ (unknown)

Image description: distorted film tape of something dark with the white text outlined in black stating: “Are you sure the only you is you?”

credit unknown.

Image description: a black, white, and gold illustration of the primary The Last Hours characters assembled. Gathered from left to right are James Herondale, Lucie Herondale, Thomas Lightwood, Anna Lightwood, Alastair Carstairs, Grace Blackthorn, Christopher Lightwood, Matthew Fairchild, and Cordelia Carstairs. 

[purplebass]

TLH Characters and desire, romance analysis

It was expected from Chain of Thorns, being the last book of the series, to deal with mature themes and to feature one or more spicy scenes. Needless to say, since I'm going to talk about mature themes, don’t proceed if you aren't comfortable talking about s*xual themes. If you haven't read CoT, stay away because there will be spoilers. I'm warning you now before you proceed any further.

CoT featured several mild spicy scenes between different ships. When TID or TMI came out, the YA genre was different. There were spicy scenes, of course, but of the superficial kind. Spicy and mature themes was the NA genre’s specialty (featuring characters aged 18-25 mainly, more suitable to explore those themes). As the years went by, though, the genre changed along with its audience. The teens of the social media age are different from the generation before, therefore, YA books featured more mature scenes. We see how even TDA, which came out in 2016, had more spicy scenes and mature talk compared to TID. Naturally, even if TLH is more mature, it’s still a YA book so there are invisible editing boundaries that can't be crossed.

Desire and the TLH characters, rated

Before we talk about the main item of discussion, let’s talk about sex drive. The sex drive is the libido, that is, sexual desire. People have different libidos. There are people who experience sexual attraction and get physical with others, while others simply don’t experience either. In TLH, the core characters experience different levels of desire:

We have characters with high libido who are very open about it (meaning that the other characters know that these characters like to have sexual partners/sex). They practice sex and use sex as an outlet not to create deeper emotional bonds (Matthew, Anna); 

We have characters with ordinary libido who show the amount of desire one would expect from a random person of their age; (James, Cordelia, Thomas, Lucie, Ari, Jesse, Alastair). 

We have characters with low to none libido, who don’t seem to care about physical desire at all and value mental attraction over physical (Grace, Christopher).

High libido: Anna and Matthew Anna and Matthew are the characters with the highest libido. We know Anna has had a lot of partners, and Matthew is also described to have had several partners. They’re not afraid of being scandalous, but they’re afraid of love and especially Matthew, thinks he doesn't deserve the love he receives (everyone loves Matthew and Anna dearly). They clearly know how to charm people and if they love, they love big. At the same time, most of these types of characters are afraid of commitment, so they use sex as an outlet to delude themselves that they’re happy that way. Anna and Matthew responded to romance in different ways. Anna rejected Ari’s love until the end, while Matthew hopelessly embraced his love for Cordelia until the end. I think Matthew is still in love with Cordelia after CoT’s epilogue. 

Ordinary libido: James, Cordelia, Thomas, Lucie, Ari, Jesse, Alastair Nothing much to say about them. They’re the norm of how a random person from the audience could feel at their age. There’s more ordinary characters in TLH because editors and writers, alike, prefer to play it safe. They write characters who would experience the same thoughts and things as the characters of their novels, but this doesn't reflect reality, of course. As the genre changed, the audience changed too and the social media audience is very different and is tired of "the norm" most of the time. There are some of them that are probably hornier (like James, Cordelia, Thomas and Lucie) while some others (Ari, Jesse, Alastair) who are more subtle about it. 

Low to none libido: Grace and Christopher

I probably said it once, but I think none of them cares about romance or sex. I think Grace is probably aro/ace and Christopher might have been as well. They don’t care about physical attraction. They care about each other’s minds more than the exterior. What they consider “sexy” is their brain, and that gives them serotonin, attracts them like magnets. If Kit hadn’t died, I’m sure we would’ve had Gracetopher being together and experimenting together. Perhaps they would’ve married, but also… not. I think they would’ve been happy just being mentally stimulated together. 

Couples analysis: how desire, romance and physical interactions were handled in TLH

Jordelia: first desire, then romance

From the get go, the reader knows that James and Cordelia desire each other and also like each other because we are shown their interest a lot. Jordelia are often described as a carnal couple, and often, their romantic feelings are clouded by their desire and the lines are blurred. The miscommunication trope (and the bracelet) delayed their love declaration, and we were shown their desire more than romance. There are several occasions in which they are close to getting physical but don’t (the whispering room). When the spicy moments happen, the reader expects it and says “finally!”. We were mostly shown Jordelia’s desire first and then romantic interest much later. Their romantic tension needed to be resolved first to solve the sexual tension. And I don’t think CC wanted to repeat what she did with Wessa (they had sex before they were married and Will thought Tessa didn't love him until after).

Blackdale: first romance, then desire

Lucie and Jesse should be enemies because of their families, unlike Jordelia who are friends from childhood. They bicker a lot and Lucie sometimes makes Jesse angry (like when he discovers her writing about him), but they resolve their issues by communicating, which is something Jordelia does much, much, later. This is one of the things that makes them their beta couple. Lucie and Jesse are more open about their problems and feelings and they trust each other. The main obstacle to them being endgame was the fact that Jesse was dead. After that was solved, and Jesse regained his physical form, there was room for the next step in their relationship. I’ve read posts of people complaining that Blackdale turned horny and aren’t pure anymore (whatever that means!). Desire was the next natural step to their relationship. They both wanted to experience what it felt like to finally touch the one you love, after being deprived of that for the most part of their relationship that far. By this point, knowing how straight-forward Lucie is, it’s not surprising that she wanted to take her relationship to the next level. And this, the reader, doesn’t expect. There are many reasons why we don’t see Blackdale getting physical as spicy physical. One, is to oppose Jordelia’s development. Two, since Lucie is sixteen, CC can’t write her in explicit situations like the other characters who are older (bc of the YA limitations). Three, I think Jesse wants to be a good boi and he doesn’t want the Herondales to think he’s taking advantage of their daughter. I don’t think we will ever see them in such situations unless CC writes a novella about that, but it should be a post marriage novella. 

To a minor degree, we can also say that Fairstairs could be a foil to Jordelia too, but only on the surface. Matthew tells Cordelia he loves her one chapter before James does. And I think their connection is mainly friendly. They are better as friends. Even though CC said that Matthew tends to fall in love with people he knows he can’t have and it’s more of a phase (as we’ve seen with Lucie), I don’t think he’s fallen out of love with Cordelia by the end of CoT. 

Thomastair: romance and desire, balanced Thomas and Alastair present another common trope, which is enemies (?) to lovers. I wouldn’t say they’re exactly enemies, but more like hot and cold. Thomas liked Alastair, and Alastair liked Thomas. We can assume that Thomas fell in love with Alastair in Paris or even before that. The main obstacle to their union was Charles and Alastair himself, and his self-doubt. Thomas was very open about his feelings in the sanctuary, but it was too early. It wasn’t until CoT for their romance to really kick off and for them to get physical with each other as lovers. I think Thomastair got even more spicy (though not super explicit) scenes compared to Jordelia. Like Jordelia, declaring their feelings and being on the same page was what moved their relationship further. They weren’t oblivious to the miscommunication (or more silent treatment) either, because after Tom finds out what Alastair did at the Academy, he doesn’t talk to him for a long time. Alastair also gives Tom the silent treatment at the beginning of CoT. In opposition, Charles/Alastair was the negative beta couple to Thomastair. They started off with sex and yeah, Charles may have loved Alastair to some degree, but it was more selfish and there was an imbalance in this relationship. Charles didn’t respect Alastair’s feelings at all, nor Alastair as a person. 

Arianna: from physical desire to romantic love When CoG started, we knew that the only couple who was already physical was Arianna. It is clearly alluded to on several occasions when they are at the Hell Ruelle, that is their preferred place to be intimate with each other. Anna never took Ari to her house to have sex, because her house was too personal and we knew Anna's main issue with being with Ari was allowing herself to be loved, to love and be vulnerable. One's house represents one’s inner world and while Anna allowed people in her house, I think that the first time Ari was allowed in Anna’s bedroom was when she let her stay after she ran away. Arianna is the only other couple where the characters seemed to communicate with each other. I say seem, because what they initially tell each other (especially Anna) are lies. Anna tells Ari she doesn’t want to fall in love with anyone, and Ari accepts this at first, lying to herself that she's fine with it, but then she decides she won’t accept any longer to be in a non-exclusive relationship. Throughout CoT, we see how Anna struggles to be around Ari, whom she clearly loves, and in the end she’s able to overcome this and finally let herself be happy. 

For the reasons mentioned at the beginning of this post, I won't discuss Gracetopher. They never turned into a real couple, and if they did, their relationship would've been different from the others.

[zickmonkey]

Fairchild Family Fic

Mild Chain of Thorns spoilers, Matthew tells his parents his secret. 2,270 words. Also soon to be cross posted on Ao3.

"Jamie?" Matthew had knocked on the office door Cordelia had led him to, before opening it completely, not waiting for his parabatai to call back. Surprising himself when he opened the door without trouble from his shaking hands.

"Math?" James was already looking towards the doorway, towards him, his eyebrows drawn in just enough his face began to crease, his golden eyes direct on Matthew.

"My- my parents leave for Idris, tomorrow. It's their last night in London-"

James cocked his head, "Are you thinking of going back with them?"

"No." He shook his head. "Oscar and I are staying. I was going to tell them, tonight, about-about what- I was going to tell them, before they left. I was- I was hoping you'd come with me."

His friend's head was at enough of an angle that his dark hair was free, tumbling off his forehead in groups, looking messy and carefree. But his face didn't match, the look of worry didn't leave it while he nodded.

"Of course, Matthew. Of course I'll come with you." James stood up, putting aside any concern he visibly felt for his friend and smiled. A gesture Matthew appreciated, when his friends smile had come to be such a comfort over the years, a common similarity.

• • •

James had held Matthew's hand the entire carriage ride to his parents house, keeping it still in between both of their laps.

"I don't know what I'll do," Matthew murmured, "if they don't forgive me." They were stopped outside of his parents house, should've been going in it. But he wasn't ready to move, just yet.

"They will, Math. There's not a doubt in my mind that they will." His parabatai had gently let go of his hand, signaling that it was time to go, but he leveled a clear look at him first that said he wasn't done with what he was saying. "But Matthew, will you forgive yourself with them?"

"I'll try."

"That's the most I could ask for."

James stepped out of the carriage without waiting, giving Matthew no opportunity to change his mind. Not when it would mean leaving his poor bestfriend stranded.

His hands were shaking as he followed James, standing beside him, both of them facing the Fairchild home. His hand no longer held his parabatai's, instead they only held each other in a half hearted attempt to keep them still that failed miserably.

"What if they don't let me in?" Matthew looked at his friend with what felt like the fakest smile he'd ever put on, trying pretend it was a dumb joke and not something he really was scared of. He couldn't bare the thought of walking up to the doors only to be locked out, worse if he'd have to knock and they'd refuse his entrance.

"It's your home, Matthew. And they're your parents. Their door will always be open to you."

"They might not consider it my home anymore. . . I've rarely visited since I moved out. Recently I haven't at all, aside from after Edom. After Belial, and London. . . I'd let my mother lead me home, I slept in my old bed, but I'd left early in the morning. Before they'd woken." He could only imagine how it must of hurt his mother to find him gone like that, without even saying goodbye. It made him want to go inside even less.

"Your mother will let you back in now, too. She will lead you to the same bed, if you need it, she will love you just as much Math."

He shook his head, hanging it just enough he could see the shined black leather of his shoes, before he separated his hands and reached one out to ask for James's.

"I don't suppose if they cast me out yours would take me in? They accepted a ghost, why not someone who attempted matricide?" This he had completely meant as a jest, but Jamie did not laugh, even for his benefit.

"They won't cast you out, Matthew. You're their son."

He allowed himself one more breath before he lead James up the steps, and despite having a key, knocked.

He could not have bared to try the key to find out the locks had been changed, so he did not try.

It took too long for someone to answer.

Long enough that he began to believe they'd spied him through a window and had refused him entry, that he should just turn and leave.

He'd just begun to tug on James's hand to do so, when the door opened.

Matthew stared at his mother, and his mother stared back.

"Matthew," It was less greeting, and more of a numb surprise she hadn't meant to voice. "James. Hello." She hadn't stopped looking at her son.

"Is Charles home?" He asked.

His mother had always been small, both height and stature, but she'd always had a way about her that made her feel so much bigger. You forgot, when she was in a room, that she was so slight, so small, she was always in charge. If not in charge, confident to the point you'd know to turn to her if anything went even slightly off plan.

He hadn't felt as though he towered over her until now, and it was less that he felt tall, but more that he felt she was small and delicate and he was massive. He was taking up all the space- he felt as though he couldn't breathe, he had to be taking up all the air as well- and leaving none for her, for his mama.

She looked briefly disappointed, before she shook her head.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course you can. Is that why you knocked? Did you think-"

"I forgot my key," Matthew lied smoothly, and silently yelled at himself. He was here to be honest, and he started it by lying.

Charlotte stepped from the door frame, Matthew stepping in, finally letting go of James's hand.

"Where's papa? Downstairs?"

"No," His mother was still watching him, and only him. "He's in the sitting room."

"Good." He'd replied. "I need to talk to the both of you."

His mother nodded, only now looking away, starting her walk towards the sitting room Matthew was equally familiar with.

He was used to the soft neutrals of the furniture, the way it was both refined and regal, a part of him missed it. He missed his home.

And he missed his father, who sat in his chair, busy with something in his hands before he'd looked up and smiled at his wife. Then, noticing them, at his soon and his son's friend.

He barely let his mother sit down before he started talking.

"When I was in the academy there was a rumor about me. I didn't- or about our family. I- I didn't believe it, at first, but then I couldn't stop thinking about it." He hadn't even gotten to the real hard part yet, and still he could not look at either of his parents. "It was that I was a bastard. That Henry couldn't possibly be my papa. That it was Gideon Lightwood, instead."

"That's what you needed to discuss with us? Matthew. . . of course Henry's your father. Gideon is a friend-"

"No. I- that's not it. I know now that you're my papa," He looked directly at his father, the man he had once been so close to. He looked unconsciously to make sure his father was perfectly intact, still so used to taking care of him, and despite the distance felt himself relieved when he saw no new burns or cuts on his skin, his browning red hair wasn't even tinged. "And you are the best papa I could ever have. I am glad that it is you.

"I am not accusing either of you of mistakes, I am telling you of my own. I am asking for forgiveness."

He took a moment- he wanted to keep going, instead of leaving them wondering any longer.

He didn't know how to continue when all he could hear was his heart beat, all he could feel was the cardiac muscle slamming against his ribs and his lungs refusing to inflate.

James put his hand back on Matthew's, and he could breathe again.

"When I was a boy, I believed it. I did the unforgivable. I went to a shadow market, I was young and stupid and I was tricked. I'd thought I'd bought a truth potion. I never should've doubted for a moment who my father was, I never should've played with the faeries.

"I made the scones you always liked, mama. And I added some of it. I was going to hear the truth, I'd decided. But it was all a lie. I was a fool.

"I'd nearly killed you."

He took a moment before he said what was left, his head hanging low.

"And I did kill the baby. My sister.

"I'm sorry. I am so so so sorry." He felt like all of him was shaking, he probably was. His stomach was in his throat, almost literally. It was taking all of him not to vomit on the floor. He was trying to avoid crying, and wasn't entirely sure he was succeeding.

James's hand tightened on his own when neither of his parents spoke.

Matthew had known James was wrong. He had known that what he'd done was unforgivable. He'd let Cordelia convince him it wasn't. He'd let James.

"Matthew," he heard his mother, but he didn't look at her. "You've kept that to yourself this whole time?"

He didn't hear anger in her voice, though he was sure that's why she was asking. Because he'd known what he'd done and he'd let them love him.

"I know." He murmured. "I should've told you. I should've told you so you stopped loving me. I'm sorry, that I let you continue to after everything. I tried to get away, so that you'd stop-"

"No, Matthew." He was surprised, this time, when it was his father, sounding surprisingly clear. And there. "You should've told us so we could help you."

He hadn't meant to, but he looked up. He was shocked by how gentle his father sounded. The way he heard no anger from either of them.

He didn't see it, either. His mother's hand was tightly in her husband's. Both of their brown eyes were darkened just slightly by the shadows of their drawn in brows while they watched him.

"Help me?"

"Yes, Matthew. We could've helped you let go of this burden, earlier."

"I wouldn't have deserved that." He knew it was what he was asking for now, that he shouldn't he arguing against it.

"You did. You do. Matthew, you made a mistake. It would be a different story, if you had meant the harm you caused. But we know you hadn't meant it, we know you, Matthew. We know you never would've done it intentionally."

"And Matthew," he looked from his father, to his mother as she took over the conversation. "We lost you too. We lost our baby, but losing you was harder.

"We just want you back."

He looked between both of them, back and forth, even once looking towards James. "You forgive me?"

"We do." His mother nodded.

Matthew had stopped trying to keep his tears away, now. They poured down his face while he stayed on the opposite side of the room as his parents.

He felt small again. Young. He wanted his mother to hold him, he wanted her to stay in London instead of return to Idris. He remembered when he'd held her skirts so tightly as a small boy begging her not to leave and he had the urge to do it now.

"I've stopped drinking." He said instead. Instead of asking that they hold him or stay longer. He was grown now, and while he wasn't a fan of his brother, he was sure Charles had never fallen at their feet and begged them to love him.

"You have?" He heard a tone of happiness in his mother's voice.

"I have. I stopped- I stopped after Paris. I- I've been sober for- for a couple weeks. I'm trying."

"That's wonderful, Matthew!" His mother stood up from where she was sitting, gently separating her hand from Henry's, and walked towards him.

She wrapped her arms around him so tightly he let out a loud breath by accident, before he buried his head in her shoulder, and sobbed harder. He held her back just as tightly. Not letting her go for too long.

When finally he let her go she stepped just slightly back, before returning to her chair, and her husband.

"We have good news, too." Matthew watched him place her hand back with her husband's. "We're expecting another baby."

"You are?"

"We are. And we are very happy that you'll get your chance at being a big brother."

[ladyhindsight]

Your revision post is so helpful for my new set of notes, thank you.

(Mild CoT spoilers)

Honestly Thomastair is just like, a normal relationship, and of course the author had to make it weird by making Thomas say he loves Alastair more than anything before they even got together. I was like... how even? They barely know each other besides their time as academy peers. But of course, most of the great love stories of TSC are exactly like that, like you pointed out.

Thomas was obsessed with Alastair because he found Alastair attractive, and that was it, he actively hated Alastair's personality. It's a mystery how that turned into such deep love that of course included loving him more than anything else, that's how love works in this universe

Thomas hating Alastair's rude personality leads to the point that I found interesting about Thomastair/Alastair's development. Alastair's rudeness and insistence on keep his "goodness" hidden.. is mentioned like an actual problem to their relationship.

There's this CoT quote I found particularly interesting and represents what I'm talking about very well:

He only watched Alastair: Alastair being gentle, Alastair being loving, the Alastair Sona had known, but Thomas so rarely ever saw. As Alastair bid goodbye to his mother, Thomas could not help but wonder: If Alastair was so utterly determined to hide that part of himself from Thomas, did it matter that Thomas knew it existed at all?

THIS!!!! THIS!!!!

Impossible to not think of certain TMI and TID characters and even that TLH character who are endlessly loved by several people even though they behave absurdly because we "know" they have good souls and whatever shit. And of course that's how it works, you can do whatever shit, what matters if you're secretly good but misunderstood, people will sense that and love you anyway. Treating people well is not necessary to build (and keep!) relationships! This is the message these books have been sending all along with all the ships envolving a jerkass - and this quote goes and contradicts it all? Makes me think...

(I'm not talking about "person that used to be cool and turned into asshole" bc the ones who loved them will probably keep the hope that they may go back to their kinder version - I mean characters that were introduced to others being assholes from the get go)

The "did it matter... ...at all" speaks a lot, that's the exactly the point. You can have faith that someone is secretly kind, but if they never act like it, does that faith make any actual difference? Absolutely, according to most of the romance in the TSC (and certainly many works in the romance genre, I know)

I actually like the romance trope of the assholerish love interest, I just don't like being manipulated to think that he is actually just a silly funny guy because deep down he is good. An asshole is an asshole, to find him just a silly funny guy should be more up to the reader than treated as a fact by the writing

- R

Big agree.

Barely knowing each other and having loved one another for a long time seem to be the two main options of romance in the series. The only ones (with adequate enough focus) to escape this are Kit and Ty, but who knows how it will unfold. I’d be more understanding of Thomas and Alastair’s relationship if such scenes like the one in Paris had occurred more than once. If there was ever a more solid foundation to the intense love they fall in. But as it is rarely so with any other couple, I’m not really going in Chain of Iron or Chain of Thorns hopeful. Jace and Will are both sparkling examples of being loved despite their abhorrent behavior, just because they are secretly good while showing none of the care and respect to others that they receive.

It’s interesting that Alastair is allowed such perspective (or rather Thomas thinking about Alastair’s behavior), because it reflects on other things that are worthy of noting. What little I have read about the companion stories, one point that struck me odd was the part where Alastair expresses pretty misogynistic thoughts on Charlotte being Consul. I don’t know if it is supposed to be a reflection of the bad company around him, because I can’t otherwise think why he would think that at all. Other than antagonistic characters being written expressing controversial things because they are antagonistic, of course. Much in the same vein like your last message. Any of the Good Guys could never!

[wellokaythentryme]

I’m on chapter 10 of chain of thorns and mild spoiler warning- James herondale annoying the fuck outta me rn fr. Boy- speak ur damn mind. Enough is ENOUGH I refuse to have Julian 2.0 please