Cansado de esperar
El camarero está tardando demasiado.
Te llevo observando varios minutos, mirando el menú, respondiendo mensajes en el teléfono, tomando fotos, y aunque mi mirada no denota más que cansancio y tristeza no te das cuenta. Estás frente a mí, pero no estás conmigo.
Intento encontrar las palabras para iniciar una conversación, pero no recuerdo que es lo que nos mantenía unidos. No logro decir nada relevante, y tampoco te esfuerzas en mantener la conversación.
Hay un silencio muy largo, algunas quejas de la vida cotidiana. Pero nada más.
Nada...
De pronto los recuerdos del pasado llegan a mí. La emoción al encontrarnos después de tanto tiempo. Las horas de conversaciones, los secretos y las risas. Tú te emocionabas al verme y hablábamos por horas, tú compartías tu tiempo conmigo y disfrutábamos cada encuentro.
El contraste entre el pasado y el presente me duele.
¿A dónde se fueron esos momentos? ¿A dónde te fuiste y por qué no has vuelto? Estoy esperando que regreses pero estás aquí, frente a mí en la misma mesa.
Suspiro pero tampoco lo notas. Menos mal porque mis ojos se han humedecido.
Cuando te fuiste, supe que cumplir tu sueño era importante y que lo lograrías, así que esperé pacientemente tu regreso.
Pero nunca volviste.
Tienes el mismo rostro de la persona que esperé por años, pero no eres tú. Cuando me miras tus ojos ya no brillan, ni sonríes, y tampoco han vuelto las alegrías a nuestro lado, ni la felicidad que me brindaba tu compañía.
Pero seguí esperando a que volvieras, a que en algún momento pudiéramos volver a disfrutar de nuestras presencias como en los viejos tiempos, pero cada reunión llegaba a casa con esa pequeña decepción en el pecho porque nada era igual.
Hasta que el pecho comenzó a pesar de tantas pequeñas decepciones.
Intento detener la secuencia de pensamientos que me dicen que ya no soy relevante en tu vida, que has cambiado, pero viajan más rápido de lo que puedo controlar. Trato de ser justo y de entender que no es personal, que las personas cambian...
No sé si es de melancolía, tristeza o decepción, pero suspiro más lento y más pesado está vez.
Por primera vez entiendo lo que pasa. Simplemente ya no eres la misma persona.
Y yo sigo esperando a que regrese la persona que se fue. Espero a alguien que ya no existe, a alguien que ya murió, que ya no va a volver.
Y mi corazón se quiebra en ese instante.
Porque a quien esperé con tanta ilusión jamás volverá y yo ya me cansé de esperar.
Se me ha esfumado el hambre, el ánimo y la ilusión.
¿Por qué lloras? Tu mano se posa sobre la mía y despierto de mis pensamientos. Es la primera vez en la noche que me miras a los ojos, pero ya es demasiado tarde.
Suspiro por última vez y dejo mi parte de la cuenta sobre la mesa.
Me cansé de esperar…
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Ministory: A Deathly Vision
Summary: In a distant realm of Astrallis, its newly elected ruler experiences an unsettling vision, that has some serious consequences. But who could be behind a nightmare that he just went through?
Word count: 2.5k
Warnings: PTSD, reccuring nightmares, implied genocide i guess?
Rating: Teen Up and Audiences
Fandom: Doctor Who AU
Original Post Read on Google Docs
___
It’s been about an hour now since Mage decided to rest in his room after a busy day full of various shenanigans regarding political issues, meetings with influential people, and tons of other matters resting on his shoulders. He had been the ruler of Astrallis for no more than a day now, and yet, he still didn’t feel like it was something that could satisfy him. Not in its current shape, perhaps.
Quite frankly, he never wanted to be a part of this convoluted hierarchy. Still, he knew that if he hadn’t taken responsibility in his own hands, that place would fall miserably under the reign of greedy businessmen, who would stupefy the nation with their unreasonable promises. Fortunately, the turnout of the election was in his favour that night, as he obliterated his opponents with, as he thought – exceptional results. At last, the people of Astrallis could rejoice, and that fact alone was something at the top of his priorities. But with that, there came a cost – he was forced to put his old name behind him – at this point, he had become the Astral Mage.
His chamber, located in the Nighthold palace, was one of the more spartan ones, at least in comparison with many others. Though it was not without its own luxuries.
It was a small, circular room surrounded by the walls painted in purple, with a bed, as well as a little desk and a closet. One could assume that this place was fairly ordinary, however in the middle was something more, a truly marvelous feature. It was a structure built from the column-shaped, steel grilles. The tube extended from the floor up to the roof, and its interior was filled with an enigmatic substance, neither liquid nor gas-like, which swirled and whirled quietly and was shining intensively, resembling glimmers of fire. It was arcane – the source of Mage’s mysterious power, concentrated here for additional protection or, if needed, in case of an assault. He was staring intensively at the column for a long time, as its lavender glare stared at his face, still clean-shaven in order to look the part during the endless meetings that passed, as he approached a balcony behind him.
The street lamps have faded away, and people have returned home after a long day of work, but in the distance, there could still be seen a small number of Astrallians, who were hovering above the ground, getting back to their living quarters. Observing them was an activity that was a kind of routine for the Mage. Every day he stood there, looking at his happy citizens with a gazing smile. “If only I could live like them… peacefully…” he thought, as he took a step back to his chamber. Something was up in the air and he knew it, but he wasn’t sure if in these times he and his people were safe. He closed the door, next, with a turn of his hand he formed a night attire on his body using magic and he went to bed, which seemed strangely more comfortable than it usually was. After that, he fell asleep and immersed himself in a nightmare that he could never think of.
As he was standing on the top of the palace. His hands raised up, as they were repeating the same sequence – a turn and a strike. A tiny swirl of arcane flowed out from his palms.
Mage didn’t think much of it. He often liked to relax after long days of work, shooting trails of magic into the night sky. But he couldn’t have predicted that as it travelled towards the dome surrounding the building, beyond it a horror was unfolding.
On the dark sky, as if it was night, there could be seen a massive, black point. It was feeding upon the remains of the energy of Astrallis as well as of the soil, which was being sucked in by the hole. Mage knew it had to be one of those.
“But how… where…?!” he narrowed his thick brows, trying to spot its meddlings. The dimension was guarded by one of the strongest spells ever created, even a black hole wouldn’t go past it… And yet…
“I have to find the Councillors if I want to have any chance to escape. It is too late for the others…"
He summoned a staff that’s been immediately stuck to the roof of the Nighthold. The staff hooked itself inside the dome spell, as it resisted against the consuming power of the black hole. Thanks to them that place could still even exist.
As Mage turned into a white raven, he knew that in order to save Nighthold, he had to preserve the knowledge contained within. He needed it. Apart from that, the building possessed a significant amount of power, which Mage gained from.
In his mind, there was nothing quite like it.
He flew to the Court Hall, where he often debated with the Councillors about the future of the nation continuously. When he thrust into the room, the first thing that he could hear, were the screams:
“Sire! What is happening?! That thing is…” said the Councillor of Necromancy, Xulthemius, but Mage didn’t let him finish.
“Yes, I’m aware,” he called, “but we don’t have time to think about where it came from. Now our main goal is to move the Nighthold!” his voice was rapid, but calm simultaneously.
“But, My Lord,” they were interrupted by the Councillor of Fire, Ignitros. "it requires a tremendous amount of energy! We can’t make it, that hole will swallow us!”
“Anyway, we have no other option, we have to try!” Mage insisted. “We have to find out whoever is responsible for this mess.”
He knew that the black hole, which tried to suck the palace into itself, was made by someone or something, which most certainly didn’t agree with the existence of the dimension. Only huge amounts of arcane and quick thinking were able to destroy the spells that surrounded Astrallis. Mage swore to himself that he won’t stop until he finds the one who caused this.
“On my word, quick! Everyone, focus! Focus as much as you can! And now, one, two…” Mage screamed.
As soon as he said “three!”, he raised up in the middle of the chamber. Every single one of the Councillors (who were responsible for one of the seven components of magic: fire, water, air, necromancy, nature, light, and darkness) has shot at Mage with a beam corresponding with their element. The incumbent ruler focused on the palace. A dome, which was supposed to protect the Nighthold, was weakening, but at the same time, the building was soaked in the arcane, which started to cover all of the rooms, towers, roofs, and balconies. “You can make it, you can make it, you can make it…” Mage muttered to himself.
His hands were burning from the energy he produced, and his brain was on the brink of fainting, but he didn’t give up. He had to transport the Nighthold and he knew where. His people out there, on Earth will undeniably notice a stadium-sized palace materialising on the ground, so hiding it will become a necessity. At this point, three-fourths of the building was ready to transfer. Just a little bit longer…
But suddenly he heard a sound, like a thousand bubbles popped at once when poked with a small needle… The barrier couldn’t stand it. He turned around and in front of him, he saw a dark void and a silhouette of two creatures in it. These contours were getting bigger, and bigger, and moments later… they became alive as they pulled him into the darkness…
He was flying across it, as if through some kind of tube. Around him, there were… glimpses of someone’s life, if that made any sense... And then this damned smile, trapped inside the non-existent boundaries of the abyss. And then, moments after, everything started to turn into the shape of something that resembled what could only be described as a hurricane.
At the end of it, Mage saw something truly intriguing. In the distance, there appeared a curious shape rapidly approaching him. He tried to study it, when… a shady person emerged from the structure.
“Beautiful, isn’t it? There’s only you, Mage… only you and me… Just a moment and my brilliant scheme will work out just… right…”
***
He wanted to respond, when he heard another voice, approaching from a distance.
“Sir? Sire?! Are you alright?! SIR!!!”
Suddenly, he felt like something splashed on his cheek. He was all soaked. The blanket was under the bed, and above him, there was a figure standing.
“It’s you who is guilty! YOU!” Mage shouted, still thinking that he was dreaming.
Then he started blinking in confusion, seeing one of the Councillor’s proteges before his bed. She must’ve ran in here just about now.
“Augustinde? Wha… what’re you doing here?”
“It’s all right, it’s all right. It was a nightmare, nothing more” she said. “You alright… my lord?”
He grunted. “Well, yes… Was that bucket really necessary?” he jolted, lifting himself from the washed-out bed, following the girl as she walked across the room.
“Sorry. Happens to all of us, My Lord. I tried to wake you up more conveniently but with little effect. I… I had to use something stronger. My apologies.” Augustinde’s voice was still breathy and shaky.
“You know you don’t have to call me… that?”
“Like what?”
“Well, you know. All of these titles… It’s giving me a headache, honestly,” he gave her a coy, but sincere smile.
“Mage will suffice.”
He walked up to a small nightstand in one of the corners of the room. She followed him there, picking up a small, ornate glass.
“I think you may want a sip of this,” she handed him a glass of arcaneberry juice, berries, the seedlings of which were feeding on small animals and organisms.
“Bottoms up, it clears the mind. Come on!”
He chugged it down his throat. Truth be told, he rather enjoyed the mix of herbal sensations this curious plant often gave him.
“Better?”
“Yes, thank you.”
“Shall we sit and assess this mess?” he asked, glancing back at his bed.
The girl nodded at this invitation, sitting on the opposite chair.
“So, what’s the big idea? I was taking some time off at the balcony, stargazing, listening to birds singing. And then I heard your scream. I… I tried to alert someone, but it’s a hard time trying to find anyone this time at night, so…” she spitted out. “What happened?” her hands were fidgeting. “Were they skinning you, or something?”
“No… it was worse, Augustinde,” he exhaled.
“The whole world disappeared.”
“I’m sure it was not that bad… “It’s all right, it’s all right. It was a nightmare, nothing more!”
Mage leaned on his arm.
“I don’t think it was a nightmare, you see. It couldn’t be. It felt too real. And well, if anyone can tell the difference, I’d be one of them. Trust me.”
Augustinde glanced at the desk across the chamber. “Um, was it because of that?” she pointed at the lilac-tinted rock lying on it. It shimmered in the warming glaze of a lamp nearby.
He looked in that direction.
“What made you think that?” he narrowed his eyes.
“Maybe it just had some, I dunno… effect on it?” she clicked her lips. “Heard that some gemstones can do that.”
“I saw someone in there…” Mage leaned in his chair. “In this… in this… tunnel, roaming, buzzing with energy of some kind. Can’t put my finger on it, but their presence was alluring… somehow.”
“Well.. if that’s of any help… My neighbour had a nightmare once… her house burned in it. I asked her about it, she also thought that she’d die…” she straightened her back.
“Turned out the whole hussle was just about a dry sheaf of grass in the backyard. What if that nightmare is trying to tell you what you should do? It can’t be without a reason…”
They sat in silence for a bit. It was Mage’s fault though. His face looked intense, as if he tried to consider the possibility, accessing his knowledge to the deepest extent.
“Well, I don’t know. But I know what I saw,” there he raised voice. “It was like a premonition, a… vision, that’s for sure. But it being real? That’s the question.” he explained.
“Ohh… Never took you much for a clairvoyant,” her voice trembled. “I wouldn’t take it personally, that’s for sure. You know, maybe it was something stupid, like that thing about this new composter they’re adding to the saplings?”
“I’m quite afraid that it may very much be… personal. That’s what visions like these do, they… feed on those fears of ours, those… feelings…–” he bit his lip. “And if you’re trying to imply me practicing some unorthodox, herbal remedies, then fear not. My line of work is more than enough. Ask your mother.”
He started to walk in circles in his room, thinking. What if it really was a vision of the Astrallis’ end? It’s not the first time he heard about them, but they didn’t always play out as perceived. Maybe it is his fate? Who were those contours in the vortex? Could they be responsible? Are they and will they be behind all of what could happen to the Astrallis? And how will his vision change? So many questions, and yet still no answer of knowing how much time is left.
He heard the door creaking.
“Will do. Sorry, but I need to leave, or… you know, while the night's still young.,” she sputtered before leaving. “Goodnight. And please finish that juice!”
“Yes, of course. Night.”
But Mage did not follow her advice. He didn’t return to bed. He was too fixated on the vision. There must be some way to ensure the safety of his people. Add more protection spells, monitor the outskirts of the dome, and most importantly, talk with the Councillors. Yes, these were some possibilities… After all, it would be an understatement to say that getting the whole realm torn down would be nothing short of a PR disaster.
Whatever the case was, he knew it was time to take some measures. He knew that his world was at the edge of destruction, and if it had to come, it would be him who would avenge all of those, who would die…
– Dktr Ps: Season 1 –
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