#Mona Lisa Curse

[sailorsenshishitposter]

"Hey, that's my sandwich!"

Wait, this isn't a chocolate cornet...

[3000-beesinatrenchcoat]

I am so sorry everyone. I have created this cursed image and now I must interrupt your scrolling to share it with you. I will tell my favorite Leonardo da Vinci joke

"If Da Vinci saw the Mona Lisa in an art museum..."

"He would have Louvred it."

[a-confused-wizard]

me when there's no moral in orel

[everyones-least-favorite-bard]

tagged by my most esteemed western au colleague @foxpunk to make myself in this picrew + post the most recent song i listened to

beaming uhhhhh @not-a-kelpie @ciboriaadastra @toast-of-eden @solcarow @buqbite and @rusquared go off gang

[dnangelic]

@zenigatakeibu asked: “HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” Zenigata beams. He’s in rather high spirits, a rare sight these days, though that may just be the sake talking. Judging by the way he sways, it seems he’s already helped himself to more than his fair share… Not that anyone would blame him. A ‘little’ something to help take the edge off. An inspector’s work is never done after all, not even on holidays. “HA–!” He drops like a gymnast to Daisuke’s height– a squat so fast it’s a wonder he doesn’t collapse– holding a pochibukuro in front of his face. The envelope is bound in red and white mizuhiki cord; inside sits a generous ¥10,000. From uncle to nephew. “For you, kid,” Zenigata’s smile softens. He offers it out with both hands. “Don’t spend it all in one place, hm?”

' ah ! zeni-sa --- ack . augh ... ' wow , that was strong . the stench of alcohol hits him in a massive wave , and he can only shut his eyes and plug his nose for a moment . how many cups , bottles , and barrels did it take to get someone as huge as intimidating as zenigata drunk ? he tries not to imagine it , else he'd likewise start to worry about the inspector's liver , but it was new years after all --- wasn't it ?

if anything , it was nice to see the other looking so carefree . although he's managed to preserve the upturned corners of his smile for the other , the boy's just as unprepared for zenigata's earth-shaking , world-class squat . unsure of whether it was from the force of magnitude of the inspector's sheer bulk or his own typical skittishness , daisuke nevertheless swears that his feet have lifted into the air for just a single miraculous moment .

any more intense , and he'd think that the other had drunkenly mistaken him for a sumo wrestling opponent . instead --- a pochibukuro juts out into the space right in front of his nose , practically pushing him stiff backwards . eyes widen ; gleam and glimmer with innocent wonder at first sight of the gift , but if there's any gasp that audibly escapes him , he's quick to try to cover it .

' w-wait , for --- me ?! are you sure you don't have the wrong person ?! '

wasn't this just too much ? daisuke would have never wheedled the other for funds or personal fortune . it wasn't as if they were even blood related , and even then --- well , it might have been a little arrogant to even think , but he was sure that an inspector's mundane pay would never be able to match the wanton , burgled fortune of a phantom thief .

even so , that was nothing that he could ever confess --- and he couldn't possibly deprive zenigata of a considerate act like this either ! who could decline an envelope that had been so readily prepared and delivered ? just imagining the other's drunken smile potentially turning into a sobered-up frown would mean that he had left them both nothing more than broken hearts and a chilly night .

if anything , knowing the sorts of troubles that might have waited ahead of them ... daisuke desperately wanted to give them both a good start .

' u-um , well , i --- ! ' his head bows , and his body bends to double him over in an instant . he prays that the other can't see the guilty sweat and tremble of his palms as he timidly accepts . ' if you're sure , then ... t-thank you , zeni-san . you really didn't have to do this ... ' how much was in it ? hopefully not too much , right ?

at least there was some convenience to the instance . when his hands fumble through a pant-pocket , he hurriedly retrieves a new year's present of his own . ' actually , i was going to go out and find you ... ' it's a little ironic , being found first , but maybe that's just how things were meant to be . back straightens , and a hand rubs at the nape of his neck as he bashfully laughs a little . ' i really --- wanted to give you this . '

it's a wooden omamori , flat tied and and hand-painted by none other than the boy himself . on the front , the inspector had been carefully depicted : dashing and determined , broad-shouldered frame easily fitting into the edges of the charm . on the back , its presumable purpose : good health and protection .

' zeni-san , um ... i'm sure there are times where your job is dangerous , or stressful , but --- i think that you're always trying to keep people safe . i've always felt safe around you , and that's why ... um --- m-me too , i ... i want you to be safe . ' from the bottom of his heart : the burning lump starting to pound furiously , forcefully in his chest already . ' i know that i'm still young , and there probably isn't anything else that i could do for you , but i was still hoping that you'd accept it . '

it's a trade he tries to make quickly . tucking zenigata's envelope away , he presses his own gift into the other's grasp --- before dashing away , whether or not the other wanted him to wait for a return of gratitude . feeling the heat of his curse , quick to tuck himself away into someplace where he wouldn't be witnessed , or recognized ...

... as always , it was impossible to smother the force of his desire .

were it not for his curse and family inheritance --- he might have flung himself at the inspector in an instant , and clung to the man for as long a time as his thrumming heart felt necessary to express its care . instead , praying that zenigata didn't think of him any more poorly , or an outright rotten child for running , he'd settle for clutching at the man's gift envelope --- carefully considering both budget and every brand new , new year story to tell to make up for things .

forget touch ; he'd listen carefully .

soon enough , he'd share with the other how he had spent little by little in all sorts of places --- a happiness nurtured , and blissfully shared , for as long as zenigata too remained in good health and high spirits .

--- may both of their wishes have come true .

[gatsby-system-folks]

No you don't get it. I'm an entirely different person when I play video games. I do not recognize myself it's so funny. I don't get smarter or anything tho no I get worse. I'm normally pretty level headed and a bit of a smartass but the second I pick up an Xbox controller I become the world's biggest bimbo. I wish I was fucking joking. I went to a video game bar the other day and I didn't even try to play any games lest I annoy anyone around me. The dudes I was there with made me play one game and I fell off the edge of the map more times than I can count. I sat in the corner and drew hollow knight shit.

[sc0ttpilgrimm]

I shouldn’t be allowed to have photoshop but here we are

[pharaohs-curse]

yu-gi-oh! au where Mokuba gets supper buff

[xxmarionandtheriotxx]

I do have the Mona Lisa

[fabuloustrash05]

Incorrect RaMona Family Quotes Part 38

Thalos: You know, with that baby face of yours we often forget how old you are.

Vincent: I’m 18 years old…

Sal: Oh look, he’s getting cranky. He hasn't had his juice.

Vincent: Well, my straw did break off in the carton-

Vincent: SHUT UP!!

Thalos & Sal belong to @bludinkdragonz

Vincent belongs to me

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Boki

Star finger is now in perfect range

Didn't like how the flash turned put but thought I'd still upload them

[shitmyfriendjohannasays]

Cursed Images

[tangyangie]

𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 °❆⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

desc. their favorite winter activities.

notes. i wanted to wait to post this when it was snowy outside for me but that never came because it never snows anymore sobbing !!!1!11!!1!

anyways this is like a modern-ish au... i guess??

snowball pelters. as soon as you step outside, you're getting a load of freshly balled up snow—the powder having been turned into an extremely dense sphere—straight to your face. if that's not enough, you'll get some down your back, too. oh, how they just love to see your face cringe out of frigidity, squeezing your eyes shut and mouth so eager to speak, yet being unable to get a single word out. they'll laugh with no shame and taunt you, so your only choice is to take a snow shovel and bury them. see how confident they are then, being completely submerged in the white powder. they'll curse you under their breath (lovingly) and follow you around all day, refusing to not torment you by tossing messily made snowballs at you.

yelan, HU TAO, yae miko, WANDERER, heizou, cyno, TARTAGLIA, faruzan, eula, beidou, xinyan

snowman makers. they are the most adorable beings you'll ever see. so concentrated on getting the proportions of the snowmen right, even if they're not the best at it. they look at others' snowmen and get concerned that their own may be a little... unsteady. meaning, the head was too large for the body and was constantly falling over and destroying itself. with a frown, they'd be determined to get it back up on their own, (politely) refusing help. once they get the snowman to hold up long enough for them to go find some sticks, you'd fix it up for them. taking a little bit of snow off the top, adding it to the lower half, and reinforcing the bottom with some rocks covered in snow. once they come back with arms for the snowman, you innocently smile, sitting down in the snow as they eye you suspiciously, but smile and pat you on the head. do they know? ...you can't be sure.

XIAO, gorou, furina, kazuha, KOKOMI, albedo, collei, shenhe, ayaka, TIGHNARI, nilou, ganyu

hot chocolate drinkers. they cozily sit inside, watching their favorite re-runs as they sit on the couch. they watch the people freezing outside with a smug look, lazing around and doing absolutely nothing, wrapped in the largest blankets they could find. this is their... fourth? fifth cup of cocoa, and the bag of mini marshmallows they take from is quickly shrinking. honestly, they feel like a teddy bear with how warm they are. you've got no clue how they're not sweating and dying from the heat. their smirk makes you want to toss them out into the snow and watch them suffer, but they suffer enough when they accidentally spill burning hot cocoa on themselves.

lumine, LYNETTE, venti, kaveh, KIRARA, yoimiya, aether, ayato, MONA, xingqiu, lisa, yanfei

driveway shovelers. they are stuck outside all day, working on clearing the asphalt of snow. it's almost hopeless—the snow doesn't stop, so any of the driveway that gets cleared is covered again in only minutes (it's so tired...) and all that you're left with is someone who's extremely close to face-planting in the snow. honestly, they're probably hoping to get hypothermia—at least it'll put them out of their misery. but them, being the hard workers that they are, miraculously manage to finish shoveling, and join the hot chocolate drinkers after their time in hell, collapsing on the couch (and probably falling asleep).

DILUC, wriothseley, neuvillette, dehya, JEAN, keqing, CANDACE, zhongli, thoma, shinobu, noelle, mika

hill sledders. they'll bust through the door at the first speck of light, holding anything that they could safely use as a sled. honestly, they would sled on a shoveled pile of snow if there wasn't a hill, but they're determined to find a good place to sled. so, they'll drag you along, running around until you can spot some type of slope that'll get you faster than 1 inch per second. once you do, they're so excited they'd probably forget the sled on the way up. so, you're stranded at the top while they carefully slide back down to retrieve the sled. by the time they get back to the top, you're already unimpressed, but they manage to cheer you up. they sit you on the sled and push you down, hopping behind you and holding you tight. cause if they weren't, you probably would've been found sticking out of the nearby heaps of snow.

amber, NAVIA, lyney, fischl, ITTO, charlotte, xiangling, bennett (crashes into a tree), kaeya

sleepers. exactly what is sounds like. they will be BURIED in bed all day. not even a fire alarm will be loud enough to wake them up—they are completely knocked out. honestly, they wouldn't even realize it. they were just so cold when they woke up in the morning, so they didn't even bother to leave. they instantly fall back asleep, so the only way to wake them up is leaving them until they thaw in the snow.

ei, baizhu, chongyun, ROSARIA, alhaitham, ningguang, sucrose, LAYLA, freminet

notes. ngl winter would be the best season if it wasn't so damn cold 🤗🤗 it's soooo pretty IF IT SNOWS

also listened to beabadoobee's cover of winter wonderland at least 30 times today so go do that please

and i have never gone sledding before actually so if it sounds like that "𝖘𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖟𝖊 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖑𝖊𝖌𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖗𝖍𝖞𝖙𝖍𝖒 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖔𝖗𝖘𝖊" thing i'm so so so sorry

[mendingbone]

i keep seeing people in their late teens/early twenties having a "[X] content intended for younger audiences does not feel satisfying to me anymore but i don't know where to start to branch out into adult fiction" moment and i thought i would give some recommendations for adult fiction for my fellow creepy crawly queer people. all or at least a LOT of it will be on the darker and more fucked up side bc i primarily engage with horror and thriller media personally but feel free to add on with more or recommendations from other genres :)

edit: i am continuing to add to this list so there might be new recs (highlighted in pink) in here every once in a while! also want to add that there's a variety of POC, queer, and disabled authors in here as well, i am also all of the above (asian, bi/aro, poly, disabled) and tried to incorporate as many of their wickedly talented, compelling narratives as possible. that's all, happy reading!

A Certain Hunger, Chelsea G. Summers

A Darker Shade of Magic, V. E Schwab*

A Dowry of Blood, S.G Gibson

Animal, Lisa Taddeo*

A Ripple of Power and Promise, Jordan A. Day*

Bunny, Mona Awad*

Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi*

Cursed Bread, Sophie Mackintosh*

Dark Places, Gillian Flynn

Dead Girls Don't Say Sorry, Alex Ritany*

Drive Your Plow Over the Bones of the Dead, Olga Tokarczuk*

Eileen, Ottessa Moshfegh*

Fruiting Bodies, Kathryn Harlan*

Goddess of Filth, V. Castro*

Gone Girl, Gillian Flynn

House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski

If I Had Your Face, Frances Cha*

Iron Widow, Xiran Jay Zhao

Jackal, Erin E. Adams*

Juniper and Thorn, Ava Reid*

Kindred, Octavia Butler*

Manhunt, Gretchen Felker-Martin*

Mexican Gothic, Silvia Moreno-Garcia

Ninefox Gambit, Yoon Ha Lee*

Rabbits, Terry Miles*

Scorched Grace, Margot Douaihy*

Sharp Objects, Gillian Flynn

She is a Haunting, Trang Thahn Tran

Slewfoot, Brom*

Sorrowland, Rivers Soloman

Summer Sons, Lee Mandelo

Supper Club, Lara Williams*

The Centre, Ayesha Manazir Siddiqi*

The Change, Kirsten Miller

The Death of Jane Lawrence, Caitlin Starling*

The Dreamer Trilogy, Maggie Stiefvater

The Haunting of Hill House, Shirley Jackson

The Hollow Places, T. Kingfisher*

The Human Origins of Beatrice Porter, Soraya Palmer*

The Jasmine Throne, Tasha Suri

The Locked Tomb, Tamsyn Muir

The Luminous Dead, Caitlin Starling*

The Red Tree, Caitlin Kiernan*

The Unfamiliar Garden, Benjamin Percy*

Vicious, V. E Shwab

Wake, Siren, Nina MacLaughlin*

We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Shirley Jackson

What Moves the Dead, T. Kingfisher*

[gatsby-system-folks]

SO SOMETHING WASN'T QUITE RIGHT ABOUT OUR MONA LISA DESIGN. SO I TRIED GIVING HER A DIFFERENT BODY TYPE AND

These sketches are kinda shit but HOLY CRAP LOOK AT HER.

ALSKSJENKWLWPCPDOEIAHWVRJY