#Monty Python rules | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

twistedteatime · 16 days ago

Text

Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader, Stucky x Reader. It's not specific. No pronouns assigned to Reader past "you".

Summary: Bucky Barnes missed out on a lot while being controlled by HYDRA. Steve Rogers missed out on even more being frozen in ice. Since Sam has made it his mission to update them on music, you decide that it's your job to update them on what they've missed out on in cinema.

Chapter Summary: Deciding that the guys need a break from blood, monsters, and people getting eaten you decide that it's time to start them on Disney's animated movies. So, naturally, you choose The Little Mermaid. Nothing horrifying happens in that...right?

Word Count: 6.5K

Warnings: Mild Language (Steve will deal), warnings that come with The Little Mermaid, Bucky and Steve questioning logic and people's intelligence, Strong reactions to Ursula, Alpine being angry, other stuff I probably forgot.

A/N: Yeah...this...took a turn. Poll for the next movie is at the end. If you notice typos along the line of he instead of the or is instead of his, like a word out of place. It's my keyboard. I do not support my work being put into AI in any fashion

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

You needed a break from MythBusters.

You didn’t regret introducing them to the show, but you needed a break from it. Reluctantly they agreed when you promised them it was going to be something completely different. Something classic and kid friendly.

Disney animation. The Little Mermaid to be exact.

You had debated starting with a different movie. Not Snow White. They were familiar with that. You contemplated starting with The Aristocats but decided against it after the mission they’d come back from and after deciding you didn’t need them trying to off the butler by dismantling the tv screen. Same thing with 101 Dalmatians.

Someone making a Poor Unfortunate Souls reference that they didn’t get was what tipped the scales towards The Little Mermaid for you. The fact that it was animation intrigued them both from the moment you mentioned that it was Disney. Still it took a few days for you all to actually be able to sit down and watch it together due to the mission debriefings that kept postponing movie night.

“Finally…a night at home…” Steve sighed as he put his feet up with his bowl of popcorn on one side of you while Bucky nodded with his Cracker Jack box on the other, “That mission was just…”

“Stupid.” Bucky said while handing you the remote.

“It was necessary, Buck.” Steve said but nodded when Bucky looked at him silently, blue eyes locked on blue eyes with a flat, unflinching gaze, “I could have gone without the crazy ferry boat guy trying to hide the explosives in a gas can stuffed with crawfish singing about crustaceans, though.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t jump on it.” You said and Steve sighed.

“The grenade was a dummy.”

“Don’t act like you haven’t jumped on anything else since then.” Bucky replied and you nodded in agreement while getting the movie started and Steve just licked his lips and sighed while shaking his head.

“Alright, enough. Time to watch the movie. Same rules as always. This is Disney so it’s different from the original tale written by Hans Christian Anderson by…a lot, but…it’s got music, pretty animation, and romance. There’s also a very fluffy dog.”

“Mao!” Alpine meowed from her perch on the couch and you reached over to pet her gently.

“You’re better, sweetie, and you know it.” You said, smiling as she purred, “Alright. Ready?”

They nodded so you hit play and relaxed, watching the opening castle sequence and waiting to see how long it’d take before you had to hit pause. You had a feeling you knew when and you weren’t wrong.

Their delighted fascination at the images dancing across the screen before them soon shifted to a glance of expectant knowing on Steve’s face and one of mischievous teasing on Bucky’s when Sir Grimsby’s green seasick face came on screen.

You paused.

“Get it out of your system.” Steve sighed and Bucky chuckled.

“That’d be you on that ship.” He said and Steve just rolled his eyes but nodded.

You said nothing and hit play again.

They were soon enraptured with the animation again. The colors, the fluidity, and the music. It was calming and they watched silently. Relaxed.

Then the seahorse herald announced King Triton’s arrival with his dolphin chariot lighting the chandelier in front of an ecstatic crowd. Steve narrowed his eyes thoughtfully. You weren’t entirely sure what was going to come out of his mouth but you knew it was something. Really you should have expected it.

“Why are those dolphins like horses but the seahorse has the frill thing?” he asked and you shut your eyes while silently chuckling and shaking your head.

“Because it’s Disney, Steve.” You said but Bucky had his own answer.

“Because you’d probly need 300 of those seahorses to pull Triton instead of three dolphins.” He said and Steve nodded.

You just shook your head and hit play again.

They watched the seahorse announce Sebastian excitedly then laughed when his fanfare was then played with a chorus of kazoos. The goldfish pulling him neighing like horses made Steve gesture at the TV again while Bucky narrowed his eyes and nodded in agreement.

“Disney.” You repeated and they gave up for the moment, watching the king and crustacean talk.

“What exactly is Sebastian?” Bucky asked while leaning over.

Steve answered.

“I think he’s a crab.” He said and you nodded and hit play so they could listen to Sebastian compliment Triton’s daughters and Ariel’s singing before complaining about Ariel not showing up to rehearsals.

You then stopped them from asking about how there was paper underwater, reminding them it was a cartoon before they silenced themselves to listen to the song Triton’s daughters sang. All with A names that the pair didn’t comment on.

They did comment on the huge empty clam shell opening up and Sebastian’s face in response along with Triton’s reaction. You paused, knowing this was going to be a more longwinded thing judging by Bucky’s face.

“They remind me of that one teacher we had whenever Steve would get into a fight in school.” He said and Steve thought and nodded.

“Yeah. Panic then anger, but it wasn’t my fault and you didn’t help.” He said and Bucky looked at him.

“Next time you ever have to go back in time make sure you tell my younger self to let you get flattened by Big Jim Bunson and every other guy in school.” He retorted.

“Don’t start.” You warned and pressed play when they nodded so you could watch the introduction of Ariel and Flounder.

They totally agreed with Flounder when he panicked about sharks. Then they stared in horror when it came into view. You mentally sighed.

You forgot about the shark scene.

“I feel so bad for Flounder…” Bucky said and Steve nodded before they both just stared dumbfounded at the screen when Ariel found the fork.

“Have you ever seen anything so wonderful in your entire life?!”

“Yeah.” Bucky said, “S’called a fork.”

Steve nodded and looked at Flounder when he questioned what it was before looking at Ariel when she said she didn’t know, “It’s basically the same shape as you fathers tri-the shark is outside.”

“Hmm…I wonder what this one is?”

“You have worse self-preservation instincts than Steve.” Bucky while shaking his head and Steve was too busy staring wide-eyed at the shark looming up behind Flounder in the window.

They watched carefully, and tensely, as the shark attacked and the chase scene began. Predictably they both yelled at Ariel when she went back for her bag with her things in it. They were relieved at the end when they got away.

They watched Scuttle, both arching an eyebrow but you waited until they looked at you when he declared the fork to be a dinglehopper. You remained silent and just smiled when they looked at you again when the bird described what the “dinglehopper” was used for. Then you paused.

“She has hair.” Steve said and you nodded.

“Her sisters have hair done up in hairstyles.” Bucky said and you nodded again.

“Do they not have combs?” Steve asked and you shrugged.

“I don’t know. I’m not a mermaid.” You replied and hit play and then pause again after Scuttle “explained” the use of the pipe and dated it back to prehistoric times when humans just stared at each other all day.

“I am so glad Sam isn’t here right now.” Bucky said and looked at you sternly when you smirked, “Don’t even say it.”

“Mm…I’ll be merciful. For now.” You smiled and Steve snickered before they watched as Ariel remembered the concert finally and took off.

At least until Flotsam and Jetsam showed up with their glowing eyes and Ursula made her first appearance.

Bucky shook his head back and forth at the screen, “No.”

“She’s a cartoon character, Bucky.” You soothed and he shook his head.

“No. I don’t like her. She’s evil. Why the tentacles?” He asked and Steve looked at you before he kept going, “Did they know? I doubt HYDRA would let themselves be portrayed as evil. I don’t remember anything to do with Disney.”

“Calm…breathe. It’s a children’s movie…” you soothed and he looked at you.

“She’s nightmare fuel!”

“She’s half calamari.” You replied and he calmed down with a deep breath, chuckling as Steve did when they both remembered what you had dubbed the HYDRA logo back when they first met you.

Calamari on Skull Island.

“Yes, she’s evil, but…it’s a Disney movie. They only stopped making the villains obviously different in recent years and they still actually kinda do that so…Ursula.” You continued and he nodded before letting you hit play again.

They watched as Triton scolded his daughter and as Sebastian helped him do so before Flounder attempted to defend her only to get her into more trouble when he mentioned the crazy seagull.

“What’s he got against humans?” Steve asked you and you paused when Ariel swam off upset with her father.

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I mean…I get we kind of suck but it’s not that great and safe in the ocean. You got Jaws’s relative and then the tentacle lady. Not exactly safe.”

You paused to answer, thinking about it for a moment on how, “Well…it’s kinda complicated. This movie has sequels. Disney sequels…kind of have a reputation as being…crap compared to the originals. Some aren’t as bad as others. One of the ones for this explains why he hates humans so I’m…a bit torn on telling you outright. I’m leaning towards no because I want you both to see this as I did. The sequels took a good while to come out so Triton hating humans was just a thing for a long time that people theorized about.”

They nodded and accepted that answer. Pressing play again you all watched as Triton sighed, moped, and Sebastian complained about teenagers. It also allowed them a moment to see Triton as a concerned father, though you knew what was coming was going to trigger some thoughts from both.

Until that moment, though you watched them both stare flatly at the screen when Sebastian went off on what he’d do if Ariel was his daughter. Then they nodded when Triton thought before shaking their heads when he assigned Sebastian to keep an eye on Ariel.

“Saw that coming.” Bucky said and you and Steve both nodded then watched as Sebastian caught Ariel sneaking off with her bag and followed her, “It is so weird watching him swim…”

“Yeah…” Steve nodded as they watched him swim into Ariel’s grotto and stare at all the human stuff while Ariel sulked.

“I just don’t see things the way he does. I don’t see how a world that makes such wonderful things…could be bad.” She said; Bucky didn’t miss a beat.

“Try living in it.”

“SHH!” Steve shushed him when Ariel started singing.

You were surprised when they both just watched, listened, and thought. Quite honestly you were expecting some sort of comment but they both sat, listened, and watched. At least until you understood that it connected with them in two different ways…but that thought was quickly displaced.

“I betcha on land, they understand, they don’t reprimand their daughters. Bright young women, sick of swimmin’, ready to stand!”

“No.” both of them said shaking their heads and you sighed and paused.

“What?” Bucky asked blinking at you, “We all know that’s not what it’s like. ‘Specially back in the 40s.”

“Yeah. I mean…it’s better now but c’mon.” Steve said, “We’re adults and we get yelled at all the time. Sure we’re men but look at what Nat’s had to go through.”

“Yelena.” Bucky added.

“Peggy was far from typical for the day.” Steve added and Bucky nodded as did you.

“I know, but Ariel’s a teenager idealizing a world she’s fascinated with. Y’know…grass is always greener type of thing? Movie?” you reminded them and they nodded before allowing you to hit play again.

They returned to watching the rest of the musical sequence, enjoying it until Sebastian crashed into everything and started freaking out. Then they watched as she spotted the boat passing overhead and swam off, completely ignoring Sebastian. The question that came next was one that got you pretty good.

“Wait. It’s nighttime?” Steve asked and you nodded slowly, “How’s there light under the water then?”

“Yeah. I thought it’d be daytime. Sure it’s murky but…it’s underwater.” He said and you blinked.

It wasn’t exactly something you’d paid attention to, still you just shrugged and answered as simply and honestly as you could, “Movie logic.”

They nodded and let you hit play again to watch as Ariel surfaced and stared in wonder at the fireworks before swimming towards the boat. Comments on her self-preservation instincts followed. Then comments on the dog when Alpine meowed at the screen.

“C’mere, Al.” Bucky soothed and scooped her up to put her on his lap and pet her, “You’re better.”

“Mao.” She replied and purred, watching with him when Ariel spotted Eric and instantly fell in love.

Then Scuttle showed up.

“Is that seagull drunk?” Bucky asked and Steve thought for a moment.

“The seagull sounds familiar.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Y’know…yeah. Rewind it.” He said and you rewound it to play the seagull again, and then again, “This is gonna drive me nuts…”

“Leonard Hacker.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, “He was enlisting about the same time we were. He’s not drunk it’s just how he talks.”

You googled it and nodded, “Yeah, Buddy Hackett was his stage name. Served three years in an anti-aircraft battery.”

Bucky nodded, “Alive?”

“No. He passed in 2003.” You explained and they shook their heads.

“Shame.” Bucky said and Steve nodded and you hit play again to let them watch Ariel swoon over Eric then watch Sir Grimsby introduce Eric’s statue of a very over the top statue before complaining about Eric not being about to get married, “I take it back. He’s not you, Steve. He’s Sam.”

“He’s Nat if she got seasick and was a man.” He replied and you shook your head at them then listened to Eric say that when he finds the girl of his dreams he’ll know.

“It’ll hit me. Like lightning.” He said and the clouds in the distance started flashing.

“Hurricane acomin’!”

You saw various questions on their faces when the hurricane was announced yet they didn’t say anything. They simply shook their heads and watched as the storm battered and hit against the boat and the sailors before it suddenly ran aground.

“Y’know. He’s goin’ back for his pet. He’s alright.” Bucky said before sighing as the screen focused on the powder barrel, “Of course they’re gonna blow him up.”

You bid your time and held your tongue. You knew you’d get your opportunity soon.

“Well, at least Ariel’s saving him. I mean, he should be in worse condition than that but…it’s a Disney movie.” Steve said and you nodded while watching the scene shift to the beach where Ariel was tending to Eric, “Okay, how’d she get him all that way out of the water?”

“Probly durin’ high tide and then just…kept hold of him. Or she’s stronger than she looks. She’s a mermaid.” Bucky replied and Steve nodded, eating some of his popcorn before choking on it as he laughed at Scuttle peeling Eric’s eye open then listening to his foot for a heartbeat.

Bucky laughed with him as well and you couldn’t help joining them even as Ariel started singing happily again when Eric started breathing. They calmed as Eric started coming around. Then, when the shot of Ariel looking down at Eric with the sun behind her came on…you couldn’t help yourself.

“So when Steve rescued you from the HYDRA base in Austria was that what he looked like with the light?” you asked and Bucky looked at you while Steve tried not to laugh again.

“I thought I was hallucinatin’ and then I was very confused because he was tall.” He answered and you nodded, smiling, “You’re up to somethin’…I know that smile.”

“Yeah…” Steve said slowly; you just smiled more and kept silent while hitting play.

The urge to point out the similarities between them and Eric and Ariel was strong, but you resisted. For now at least.

They let it go for the moment, watching Grimsby tease Eric about drinking too much sea water. Watching them watch Sebastian go on about forgetting the whole episode they’d been through so he’d stay in one piece you knew a comment was coming as it went in one ear and out the other with Ariel.

Bucky shook his head and glanced at you, “You’re saying Ariel is Steve…and y’know what? I agree. Talkin’ to him about not doing something dangerous is like talking to a brick wall. That whole thing. That was me back in the 40s tryin’ to keep him out of trouble. In one ear out the other.”

“What?” Steve asked with a smile that smile he wore whenever he was being purposely difficult and Bucky just shook his head while rolling his eyes and turning back to the screen when you unpaused it then paused it again when Ariel sang as Eric and Grimsby walked away, “They can’t hear that?”

“Apparently not.” Bucky answered and took a bite from his Cracker Jack box and you hit play again instantly causing him to scowl as the eels showed up and Ursula returned and started gloating about how easy it was before it showed her “garden”, “Ugh…what the hell did she do to them?”

“I don’t know, Buck, but it’s not right.” Steve said scowling at the screen.

“That entire lady isn’t right.” Bucky said and they watched the scene shift to Ariel with her sisters and the one announcing to their father that Ariel was in love, “Huh…”

“Triton took that well.” Steve said and the scene shifted to Sebastian pacing back and forth while Ariel daydreamed and picked petals to determine whether Eric loved her or not, “Well at least she has a plan.”

Bucky nodded then watched Sebastian try to get Ariel to stop daydreaming about Eric before the next music number began. They watched and listened, nodding with Sebastian reminding Ariel that the fish got eaten on the surface. All while Ariel went on unimpressed.

They continued watching as Sebastian went on about all the different fish and Flounder whispered some sort of plan. Sebastian was clearly having fun and they were clearly enjoying the animation and music, but neither were surprised when it ended with Ariel missing.

“Yep.” Bucky nodded, “I know how that feels. Enjoyin’ yourself…then you look over and…where’d they go?”

Steve said just pointed at the screen as it showed Triton happily imagining who the lucky merman to get his daughter was, “Shh.”

Bucky shook his head and scratched Alpine on the ears when she nudged his hand for attention. They both watched Triton question Sebastian and Sebastian try, and fail, not to panic or say anything.

They both then tilted their heads at the sight of the statue in Ariel’s grotto.

“This reminds me…” Bucky started and Steve sighed, “Yeah. Of that one weapons dealer that had a shrine to you.”

“Look, I know it was weird…but…well it was weird and yeah. It does.” Steve said and gestured at the screen, “I wanna know something more important. How’d Flounder get that statue into the grotto? It sinks so it’s obviously heavy.”

You knew he was just trying to divert the attention off of that particularly strange and somewhat uncomfortable mission, but you paused anyway. Bucky was nodding in agreement with him. They were also both looking at you.

“Disney…” you reminded them and they looked at you, eyebrows raised, “Look I don’t know how Flounder got the statue into the grotto. I don’t think it’ll even fit through the skylight. It’s a cartoon. For all we know he had a bunch of his family help him move it. Just watch the movie and stop questioning cartoon logic.”

They both nodded and you hit play. They grimaced at the sight of Triton watching his daughter swim about and cling to the statue of Eric. They watched the argument that took place, both shaking their heads.

Then they both scowled when Triton charged up the trident and destroyed all of Ariel’s treasures. Then Bucky scowled even more when the eels showed up and started talking.

“No.” he said and Steve looked at him.

“I mean, I can see how she’s tempted.” He said and Bucky looked at him scowling, “It’s not the same.”

“Of course you’d see how she’s tempted.”

“Don’t you two start arguing.” You said and hit play and they watched Ariel swim off with the two eels and Sebastian try to stop her.

“I agree completely with everything the crab says about Ursula. Stay the hell away from Tentacle Lady.” Bucky said and groaned when Ariel told the crab off, “Of course.”

“Well at least he’s not giving up.” Steve said and they looked at Ariel’s lair, “Okay she has an evil villain lair.”

“Yeah…that’s not creepy or a warnin’ sign.” Bucky added while petting Alpine, “She’s livin’ in the skeleton of a giant sea dragon thing. Sure. Totally fine. The shriveled-up husks of the Sea Witch’s victims are trying to stop you and you keep on going because this is such a good idea.”

You just let Bucky complain as Ursula talked and you looked at both him and Steve when she started singing. They both scowled. Then they gave her a new name.

“Zola.” They both said and you paused the movie while looking at them and they gestured at the screen.

“You can’t say we’re wrong.” Steve said, “HYDRA scientist. Got arrested. Given a reprieve by the government to start over and work for them. Still completely devoted to HYDRA and evil the whole time.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah. ‘Oh, Sargent Barnes, you look so weak and tired, here let me strap you to this gurney and make you feel all better with my homebrewed super soldier serum’. That is Madam Zola.”

“She’s a cartoon character, boys.” You reminded them, hit play, then paused again when Ursula gave Ariel three days.

“Three days?!” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Same amount of time in the original story.” You said and they shook their heads and shook their heads when Ursula asked if she and Ariel had a deal.

They then shook their heads again when she asked for Ariel’s voice as payment. They watched in horror as Ursula made the potion while going on about how Ariel wouldn’t need her voice because human men really only wanted quiet women that were pretty and dumb. Both just shook their heads with sighs yet before they could say anything about that they were both face palming when Ariel signed the contract.

The wide-eyed look on their face while Ursula cackled insanely, shaded green on the tv was almost comical. Alpine hissing at the screen was, but you managed to hold it in

They watched as Sebastian and Flounder rushed Ariel to the surface after she was turned human. Alpine watched as well, meowing when the dog Max appeared on the screen again as Eric daydreamed about Ariel’s voice. Steve’s eyes narrowed.

“He’s not gonna recognize her because she can’t talk.” He said and you smiled.

“Mmmm…maybe.” You said and they watched as Ariel marveled over her feet and toes.

Then they shook their heads as Scuttle arrived and tried to guess what was different about her until Sebastian blurted it out angrily then began freaking out and panicking. They watched as he slowly understood when Ariel looked at him before agreeing to help her. Then raised their brows when Scuttle said he was going to dress Ariel like a human.

“Oh this’ll be good.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, petting Alpine when she cuddled into him more as Max barked, “Just a cartoon dog, Al.”

“Mao.” She replied and Bucky nodded.

“Not real.” He said and nodded at what Scuttle dressed Ariel in, “I was imagining much worse actually.”

“Yeah.” Steve nodded, “So was I.”

You nodded in agreement and watched as they watched while Eric discovered Ariel and she smiled at him excitedly.

Then you waited as Eric looked at her, staring into her eyes as if he had a revelation only to say she looked familiar as he looked at her thoughtfully. Thoughtfully but cluelessly and obviously not remembering the person that saved his life.

“Have we met?”

Steve looked at Bucky. Bucky hit the pause button himself and looked at Steve and then you. You tried not to smile, but it was a lost cause.

“Yeeessss?” you asked and he licked his lips, eyes narrowed as he gathered his thoughts and Steve just smiled slowly and full of amusement that bordered on mischief mixed with retribution.

“I’ll get you for this.” He said and you blinked at him as innocently as you could, “Don’t give me that. You’re both telling me that I’m Eric.”

“Yes.” You nodded and smiled more, “And if you start trying to get me back for it…we’re gonna watch Alien next and that will give you nightmares.”

“We already know aliens exist.” Bucky said and you tilted your head with a smile.

“How about the kind that burst out of your chest after hugging your face against your will?” you asked and he looked at you in horror, “Yeah…so…shush and watch the nice animated cartoon movie where you get to be an oblivious prince and Steve is a sheltered mermaid that thinks forks are hairbrushes.”

Steve laughed until he scowled, “I am not Ariel.”

“You are so Ariel.” Bucky retorted and you hit play so they could watch Ariel and Eric interact and watch her try to pantomime an explanation to him that she lost her voice before falling into his arms, “Yep. You.”

“Shut up, Eric.” Steve retorted and Bucky scowled at him.

“Knock it off.” You said with a smile, “Ariel.”

They both quieted down so you hit play again, the scene with Ariel enjoying her first bubble bath playing out with Sebastian being subjected to a scrubbing board and then being flattened. They both grimaced at it then tilted their heads when he was just flattened. A look from you silenced them, causing them to nod and mumble “cartoon, right” before watching as Sebastian landed in the kitchen.

“Oh no…” Steve said and you smiled as Sebastian fainted at the sight of stuffed crabs.

They then watched as Eric argued with Grimsby before staring in awe at how pretty Ariel was when she was presented to him. They nodded as he pushed her chair in for her, clearly approving, then they both shook their heads when she started to use the fork to brush her hair and blew into the pipe. What really got a reaction from them was hearing the chef’s “special” was.

“Stuffed…”

“Crab?”

“Yep.” You smiled, “And now the musical number Les Poissons. Queue the crazy French chef guy singing about how much he loves fish and cooking them…with murderous glee.”

“What?” they both asked and you just pointed at the screen.

They jumped as he started chopping up the fish with hard zealous strikes of his cleaver. Faces contorted in confused horror while Sebastian nearly puked at the sight of it. Looking at them you could see they felt sorry for the crab.

Looking at Alpine you could tell she was getting hungry.

“Hee hee hee…”

“Haw…haw…haw…”

You snickered but didn’t pause.

“Zut Alors! I have missed one!”

“Run Sebastian! Run!” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Guy loves his job but there’s something not right in his head.” Steve added, eyes wide as the chef started to prepare the little crab and stuff him, “He’s still alive!”

“Eh? What is this? Oh!”

They both jumped as the music shifted and Sebastian began fighting back and trying to escape. Heads bobbed to the music as smiles spread across their faces. At least until Louis the chef dove headfirst towards Sebastian with the cleaver in his hand.

“I think I’d better go see what Louis is up to.”

“You really don’t want to do that, ma’am.” Steve said and Bucky shook his head.

“No…it’s…gonna be bad.” He said and flinched at the mess depicted in the next scene then stared Steve at the sight of the chef’s torn clothes and disheveled appearance, “You need a new job.”

“I hope they’re not gonna serve her fish…” Steve said they watched Eric gaze at Ariel and Bucky smiled.

“See. He recognizes her. He’s not me.”

“Mhmm…” you nodded, knowing fully well what was gonna happen later and they watched Sebastian scamper across the table into Ariel’s dish she slammed shut before agreeing to join Eric on a tour of his kingdom the next day.

“Wonderful! Now let’s eat before this crab wanders off my plate!” Grimsby said with a smile.

“Too late.” You all said at the same time and laughed lightly then watched Ariel gaze down at Eric playing with his dog only to wave shyly and retreat bashfully into her room when he noticed her.

“And she’s still using the fork to brush her hair…” Bucky said and listened to Sebastian talk about the day being the single most humiliating one of his life then watched Ariel sink into the bed.

Both Steve and Bucky nodded but otherwise were silent while listening to Sebastian go on about what to do the next day to Ariel to get Eric to kiss her. That’s when the silence ended.

“Crabs don’t have lips.” Steve said and Bucky looked at him.

“Cartoon.” He reminded him and nodded when seeing that Ariel was asleep, “Yep. She takes advice as well as you do, too.”

You just shook your head at the two, “Don’t start.”

They nodded and watched as the seahorse ran back to Triton, reporting that they couldn’t find Ariel or Sebastian anywhere. They were clearly conflicted about how they felt about Triton at this point. Seeing a need for them to voice this you paused on the image of Triton sitting on his throne regretfully.

“You lost your temper is what you did.” Bucky said and Steve nodded.

“Yeah, after being a racist jerk, but…I have to give it to him…he at least seems to care about his kids.” He said and you nodded as did Bucky.

“Yeah…just wants to keep ‘em safe. Can’t blame him for that…but…y’know…if he wasn’t so hardheaded this might not have happened.”

“Yeah, but Ursula would have still found a way to interfere.” Steve said and Bucky nodded vigorously.

“Oh yeah. No doubt. She’s still gonna do something horrible.” He said and you nodded and pressed play when they signaled for you to.

They watched as Ariel was given a tour of the kingdom, enjoying the sights, scenes, and activities, including dancing. Bucky nodded with approval, for a moment. Then he shook his head.

“No…no…don’t let her drive! She’s Steve! You don’t let Steve…drive.” He said and shook his head as Ariel took off.

“I don’t drive like that.” Steve protested and gestured at the screen, “Besides they’re fine. See?”

You just shook your head and they looked at the screen when Scuttle said that the scene called for vocal romantic stimulation.

“I do not think ‘seagull song’ as romantic stimulation.” Bucky said with a chuckle Steve shared while shaking his head.

“No. Yes, Sebastian you’re surrounded by amateurs.” He said and tilted his head, “How’d they all know to listen to him?”

Bucky sighed, “Because Sebastian is a famous court composer. I don’t know. Shh, maybe you can learn something about setting a mood for once.”

“What’s that mean?” Steve said and you looked at him.

“Shh.” You said and he sighed and they watched, then watched Eric try to guess Ariel’s name.

“She does not look like a Mildred.” Bucky said and Steve shook his head.

“Rachel isn’t too bad. Wait, he can actually understand Sebastian?” Steve asked and you nodded.

“Disney movie.” You reminded him and they watched as the animals sang and then as the flamingos shut Scuttle up before the kiss was interrupted by the eels knocked them both out of the water.

“I knew it!” Bucky said and pointed at the screen, “Don’t you call Ariel a tramp you over-purpled calamari broad! I hope Jaws eats you.”

“What is she doing?” Steve asked you and you just pointed at the screen.

“Just watch and Jaws isn’t in this movie.” You said and Bucky looked at you still gesturing at the screen as Eric played his flute and moped.

“There’s a shark! That counts!” he said and you nodded then they both glared when Ariel’s voice started playing out of the shell around the mysterious woman’s neck and cast the spell on Eric.

“Oh…hell no!” Bucky growled while staring wide-eyed full of wrath at the screen.

“Shit.” You thought to yourself, “Movie! Cartoon! Calm…down…”

“Did she just brainwash Eric?” Steve asked and you threw a piece of popcorn at his head, “Hey! No throwin’ food!”

“Shut up!” you said and gestured at Bucky glaring at the screen.

“She’s right, Buck. It’s a movie.” He said and Bucky nodded, taking a deep breath.

“Right. Movie. Cartoon. Disney.” The ex-assassin nodded, relaxing then scowled at Scuttle flying in and excitedly babbling to Ariel “He’s getting married…not to Ariel. He’s getting married to that evil b-yep. There she is.”

“Oh no…” Steve said, shaking his head.

“I know and if this were the original story you’d be both very upset, but this is Disney.” You said and they looked at you briefly before scowling at Ursula singing in the mirror, “In the original story he does get married to some princess he thought rescued him, but it’s not the sea witch, though she does try to get Ariel to stab them both with a dagger so she doesn’t turn into sea foam.”

“What?” they asked and you gestured at the screen as Scuttle asked if he’d ever been wrong.

“Yes.” They both said.

“When it’s important?!”

“Debatable.” Bucky said and they watched Sebastian make a plan and put Scuttle to work stalling the wedding after having Flounder tow Ariel, “Okay so the fish is stronger than he looks.”

“Apparently.” Steve said and ate some popcorn, “I wanna see what Scuttle does.”

“Mh.” Bucky nodded as he ate some of his own snack and they watched him squawk and gather the other wildlife, “This’ll be good.”

They then watched as Ursula’s human form kicked the dog Max, scowling. Bucky scowled intensely at the sight of Eric just standing there stock still, responding “I do.” Like a robot. At least until the animals attacked.

Then the most satisfied smirk appeared on his face. Steve chuckled as he looked at Bucky and watched the ensuing chaotic fight, including Max pausing before biting down hard on the “bride’s” butt.

“Good dog.” He said and both frowned when the shell amulet broke until realizing it was a good thing, breaking the mind control on Eric, but both of them frowned as they talked, “Shut up and kiss already!”

Ursula cackled as the sun set and you had to physically sit on Bucky to stop him from leaping at the screen when the witch grabbed Ariel and gloated. Steve launched out of the couch and grabbed Alpine in mid-leap the screen, having let out an affronted growl at it.

“No!” he told her, landing on the floor before holding her as he got up, “It’s just a movie.”

“Movie!” You reminded Bucky as he scowled and pointed his finger at the screen.

“S’not fair! S-she violated the contract! She interfered!” he protested and you nodded as he watched Triton bargain with Ursula to save his daughter.

“I know, Buck, but it’s gonna be okay.” Steve said while comforting the cat.

“That’s not how royal succession works!” Bucky scowled and Steve nodded.

“I know, but movie. Movie.” You said and pointed as Eric stopped Ursula from hurting Ariel, “See, they’re gonna fight back. It’s gonna be a battle, but it’s gonna be okay.”

He took a deep breath but nodded and smirked when Ursula zapped her own eels, “Good. Wait…what’s she doin’?”

“Well…she’s made herself a bigger target.” Steve said and Bucky nodded, watching Ursula brag about her power and bring up the sunken ship.

“Yeah, a very big target for a very big spear.” He said and nodded when Eric rammed the boat straight through Ursula, “Good.”

Steve nodded as well but didn’t question how Eric got to the shore so fast, he was busy petting Alpine, calming her from seeking revenge on the tv for upsetting Bucky, “Yeah. See, princess? The bad lady’s gone. All gone.”

“This better have a happy endin’ or I swear…” Bucky grumbled and you nodded while pointing at the screen as Ursula’s garden captives were transformed back to normal, including Triton.

They watched Triton show remorse, looking at Sebastian when he said kids needed to be free. They both shook their heads at that before smiling when Triton expressed how much he was going to miss his daughter before turning her into a human. Both were emotional as the music picked up and transitioned to the two getting married after kissing.

They then laughed when Louis the Chef returned to chase Sebastian only for the crab to win once again by cutting a rope. They then both watched Triton embrace his daughter before letting her go be with her new husband, sailing off into the rainbow together.

The credit music started playing after the last kiss, you hesitated for a moment, “So…maybe…maybe you’re not ready for Disney movies just yet. That��uh…that had a strong reaction…”

“Ursula is pure evil and shoulda been chopped, fried, and put in some Japanese sushi dish you feed to prisoners.” Bucky said with a scowl and Steve nodded.

“Music was good though.” He said and Bucky nodded, relaxing a bit as the music played again.

“Yeah. Scuttle was funny.” He added and Steve nodded.

“Animation was gorgeous.” He said and Bucky nodded.

“Oh yeah. Absolutely. All of the animation was great. Different from Snow White but still Disney and great.”

“What are the sequels like?” Steve asked and you shook your head.

“We’re not watching the sequels right now. You two need a break.”

1 Week Later

“Bucky…what the hell did you order?” you asked as you set the box down on the table that had just been delivered.

Steve set his coffee cup down to stare at the large box and nodded, “Yeah…Buck…what is that?”

“I ordered some cat toys for Alpine.” He answered and opened the box with one of his knives and you started shaking your head when you saw what it all was.

“Really, Bucky?” you asked and he smiled and tossed the Ursula shaped kicker toy on the floor that Alpine promptly launched herself at to punish followed by two jingling Flotsam and Jetsam toys she smacked repeatedly with her paw.

“Good girl.” Bucky said with a smile and sipped his coffee.

A/N: I couldn't help the comparison between Bucky and Eric and Steve and Ariel. I mean...I only have so much restraint. As for Bucky's reaction, well...he feels strongly about things. Time to decide the next one!

I hope you enjoyed it! Please feel free to let me know! I appreciate all likes, I do because it lets me know you like it, but if you really like it reblog it and if you really really like it comment and tell me, write some tags, send an unhinged gif. It's all accepted and I'm not picky, just let me know.

That is all.

Ao3 Link: Super Soldier Theater: The Little Mermaid

Series Masterlist🍿MASTER Masterlist

Taglist: @maryevm

Previous Movie:Jaws

Next Movie: Monty Python & The Holy Grail

🍿Winner: Money Python & The Holy Grail🍿