#Morgana is always so terrible in all these AU's lol

[pinkytoothlesso11]

Hi there! Here's another vampire AU for trollhunters.

• The night before sophomore year of high school, Jim is forcibly turned into a halfling. He does not remember who turned him.

• Barabra had went missing in his freshman year. Due to this, he is living with his Aunt Morgana.

• Morgana is a vampire, but she had nothing to do with her sister's disappearance. However, she used it to her advantage.

• The amulet chose Jim in this AU. Kanjigar was not happy with a halfling Trollhunter, despite Jim refusing to drink human blood.

• Claire and Toby both find out Jim is a vampire at some point. Not sure how. That part is up to you.

• Jim finds out his aunt is a full vampire. When Morgana learns her nephew is the Trollhunter, she keeps him a prisoner.

• Eventually Claire is brought to Morgana, and Morgana bites the girl. She releases Jim from the chains she had him in, but forces him to make a choice.

• The choice was to convert into a full vampire, or she would let Claire die. He chose to convert but refused to join his aunt.

• As a halfling, Jim can hide his fangs. He could only be invited into someone's house if they let him in. Strickler is a full vampire, and Morgana's servant. He switches sides upon realizing Morgana wasn't afraid to use her own family members or hurt them if they refused to join them. Jim only survived his aunt's wrath upon refusing to join because of Strickler helping him and Claire escape.

I do not know if Barabra is eventually found, but she definitely wouldn't be happy to find out Morgana hurt her own nephew.

How the rest of this goes is up to you. I will say this: Morgana is the one who ordered Jim to be turned. Merlin also doesn't find out his own Trollhunter is a vampire until Jim reveals his fangs during a huge argument. Douxie had 'mysteriously' forgot to tell him.

Well at least this time Barbara isn't dead lol.

Even then, her having gone missing for a year can't have been easy on Jim. Since likely if not directly Morgana who has Barbara locked up somewhere so she could try and (unsuccessfully) control Jim and make him one of her vampires, it's someone who equally wants to control Jim. So either Merlin, Angor Rot or Arthur. She would DEFINITELY be found though.

Strickler helping Claire and Jim escape, even knowing he would become a target too goes to show how he cares for Jim (and Claire) a lot. Although unfortunately Jim is a full vampire now. At least Strickler can help him adjust to that transition.

[bluejayblueskies]

If you're still doing the end of year fanfic ask thing; 13, 18 and 21?

fanfic end-of-year asks

13 - favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

the technical answer to this is probably the heavy rain/no thunder spotify track i write to 99% of the time asdlgkjagl BUT i did also spend a weird chunk of time listening to this song in particular while writing whisky lol

18 - current number of wips

oh gosh. including both posted and unposted wips, i've got

malevolent:

whisky

tattoo john

timeloop fic

tma:

SUU

10000 flowers

fata morgana

tim no eyes oops

Bad Gender Feelings

magic poetry

therapy somewhere else

bad martin feelings

more bad martin feelings (poetry specific)

moulin rouge au (does it count as a WIP if i've abandoned it?)

time travel fic

so 14 WIPs! i intend to finish at least 7 of those (all the malevolent ones plus 10000 flowers, fata morgana, tim no eyes oops, and magic poetry). the rest very well may float in the ether for all eternity 😅

21 - most memorable comment/review

ohhhhh gosh this is hard because i keep all the comments i get close to my heart 💜 i think it's a tie between the comments from anonymous commenter 'oh my' on whisky (if you're seeing this your comments are so lovely and i cherish them greatly 💕), the occasional new comment i'll get on it will be this, always talking about how the fic helped them resolve their feelings about s5 (which was why i wrote it so i love seeing it help other people!) (AO3 user Random_Reviewer left a comment like this that is so <3 <3 <3 to me), and comments on my aspec stuff talking about how it's helped people realize that they're aspec, come to terms with their aspecness, or just see parts of themselves in my writing (i got one from an anonymous reviewer on my aro!martin fic in the reciprocal a month or so ago that made me 🥰)

i know that's not a specific comment but! idk! i have a hard time picking the most memorable because i just love them all <3

(also! while i'm here talking about comments: i know that i'm absolutely terrible at replying to them, but if you're reading this and you've ever left a comment on one of my works, please know that i love and appreciate you SO MUCH and i've probably read your comment multiple times and gushed over it repeatedly. i have a hard time finding the words to reply to them in a genuine and meaningful way [SO sorry if you've ever left a question in a comment, i try to reply to those but sometimes i forget, feel free to send me a message asking the question again if i don't reply, my brain is a sieve lol] but i do love everyone's feedback 💕 yall are the reason i share my work and the reason i get so excited to write new things, and i appreciate you all 🥰)

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

are you still taking headcanon requests? if so, maybe how everyone would text in modern times? (like, who abbreviates everything, who never capitalizes, who always has perfect grammar, etc)

(Headcanon Masterlist) (Full Masterlist)

I wrote almost this entire thing then Tunglr wacked out and I lost it all😭, let’s try again, shall we?

Arthur and Lance text fairly... normally? Like... there are the odd spelling/autocorrect/grammar errors, but nothing too terrible, and they usually read everything before they send it to minimise mistakes. Their messages are legible and make sense. They don’t use emojis though, like... at all. Lance just never got into it, and Arthur thinks it’s childish and below him. We love him, but he’s a posh tosser no matter what au you put him in.

Leon, Percival, and Gwen are fairly similar to Arthur and Lance, except they’re slightly more laid back. Leon uses the thumbs up emoji all the fucking time, and will occasionally venture into 😡😶😐 territory when it comes to Gwaine. Gwen uses all the happy/blushy/flower/animal emojis because she’s cool like that. Percival uses things like :D instead of 😀.

Merlin never fucking looks at his phone, so fuck knows how he texts. It’s not that he leaves you on read, it’s that he goes on adventures at 3am and is either wanted by the cops for seven counts of first degree murder or is presumed missing and dead (the gang can never figure it out from the very confusing BBC news TV reports) and has left his phone in a ditch somewhere. It’s considered a miracle for Merlin to answer a message, and everyone has decided it’s just easier to call his landline (yes, he still has one of those things, because it’s the only way his mum will use a phone. She doesn’t text either) or drop round his place unexpectedly to explain the group plans to him.

Gaius will never text anyone voluntarily, he’d rather call or see them face to face. If he has to reply to a text, it’s always one or two words; it’s not that he hates you (”are you coming tonight? everyone’s excited to see you maybe :D” “No.”) he’s just... like that.

Mordred and Elyan are fairly normal as well. They don’t spend much time on their phones (Elyan is busy and Mordred would just rather be doing other things) but they can be relied on to reply at some point in the day, just maybe not immediately. They use normal abbreviations, like congrats, but nothing crazy or ridiculous.

Gwaine is the most annoying fucking texter in the world. If he’s able, he’ll replace a word with a stupid emoji, he abbreviates EVERYTHING, he’ll spam the chat, his grammar and spelling is legit terrible. Instead of saying “I’ll see you before lunch tomorrow at the pub.” it’s “👁ll c u tomoz b4 🥪 @ 🍻!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” and it’s fucking infuriating. It probably takes him longer to figure out what emojis and shortenings he can use, than if he were to just type the whole thing out. Elyan and Merlin think it’s hilarious. Lance always has to ask someone else to translate. Arthur and Leon hate it with a burning passion, and honestly? That’s the main reason he does it lol. It’s a lot of effort on his part, but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make, just to wind them up.

Morgana is a bit like Gaius, but less severe. Her texts are normally pretty short, but she’s prepared to have a conversation if she really has to. She types so fucking fast and never makes a mistake and no one knows how she does it. She rarely uses emojis, just maybe 😊 and ❤️ when speaking to Gwen.

~

I hope this is what you were after anon!! I love you!!

[incorrectsibunaquotes]

House of Anubis (Merlin AU)

Time to combine my two fav shows into something! It wouldn’t follow the exact same plot as Merlin bc obviously there’s more characters, and also...well you’ll see what I mean.

Instead of Camelot, the kingdom is called Anubis, and Albion is referred to as Amun.

King Eric Sweet rules over Anubis with his son Prince Eddison “Eddie” Sweet and his ward Lady Nina Martin

King Eric has banned magic throughout his kingdom, but he is in reality more of a puppet king to Victor Rodenmaar, the Court Physician.

Victor is a sorcerer himself, but in this version, for every sorcerer killed, he can take their magic and use it to put forward his goal of finding the secret to eternal life.

Both Eddie and Nina are Seers in this AU, but neither of them know it. Nina’s visions are much worse than Eddie’s, and Eric only knows that Nina possesses magic.

Eric is hiding this fact from Victor, because even though he is king, it’s Victor calling the shots.

The other characters are here as well, obviously, but they don’t all have equivalents

Eddie is the Prince, and he is essentially our Prince Arthur, only he has magic. His visions are not as vivid or terrifying as Nina’s and so he has absolutely no inkling of his own power. He’s acts a lot like he did in Season 2 of HOA, sort of that arrogant/bad boy type, but once he eventually gets involved in trying to take down Victor, he grows into himself. Instead of his parents being divorced, his mother—a magic user herself—died when he was very young (in reality, the first of Victor’s victims, but this is a big secret so shhhhh)

Nina basically takes the place of Morgana in this AU, but she (probably) would not go absolutely insane like Morgana did. Her parents were close friends of Eric and his wife, and when they died in a terrible fire, Eric took her and her grandmother in to the castle in Anubis. Her grandmother died not long after, and Eric officially made Nina his ward. She and Eddie grew up similar to siblings. She has terrible nightmares/visions of the future and is a very, very powerful Seer, but she doesn’t know that it’s magic. After all, it’s illegal.

Fabian in this AU is sort of like Merlin in that he comes to the kingdom to study under the Court Physician. He does not have magic, but does not agree with Victor’s brutality, and often helps magic users escape before Victor can get his hands on them. He is extremely taken with the Lady Nina, and is trying to help her with her “nightmares”

Amber is a Lady of the court that lives with her nobleman father in the castle, who is on the royal council. She and Nina are best friends, and she is the only one who knows how severe the visions are. She is betrothed to Sir Mick.

Joy is also a lady of the court, and her father is also on the royal council. She was once thought to be a Seer, but these reports eventually turned out to be false. She is often very vocal and is known as one of the most politically savvy noblewomen at court.

Patricia also has a sort of Merlin role in that she was the young, plucky peasant to stand up to the Prince, get thrown in jail (but she actually managed to land the punch), get realeased by Lady Joy (as Patricia is Joy’s newly hired maidservant they’d already hit it off—in this way she fills a sort of Gwen role too. Not to mention...ya know), immediately after get into a mace fight in the marketplace, then later on save Prince Eddie’s life from a (this time non-magical) assassin. She and Eddie have that very back and forth banter (and sexual tension) that Merlin and Arthur have, but she is obviously not appointed as his manservant lol. She doesn’t have magic either, but has always secretly wanted to be a knight, but couldnt because of her status as both a peasant and a woman.

Alfie is a a serving boy in the castle who is known as a troublemaker by all. In this way, he is also a Merlin-sequel character. He is in love with Lady Amber, who doesn’t give him the time of day, and is Mick’s manservant, and best friends with Willow, one of the kitchen maids, Patricia, and Fabian.

KT fills a Lancelot role. She is a skilled (lesbian) swordswoman who longs to be a knight of the realm. She saves Fabian’s life while he’s out gathering herbs, and in return, he promises to help her out. She, Fabian, and Patricia meet up at Patricia’s house in the lower town, and she and Patty hit it off (*wink, wink*). They try to pass her off as both a noble and a male, and nearly get away with it, but she ends up getting banished (don’t worry, we’ll see her again). She finds out about the Victor scenario and pledges to help Fabian should he ever need her.

Jerome is a sort of Gwaine character, who’s not a knight but should be. He is on the castle guard, because of his lower status (when in reality he is the son of a nobleman but spurned that title). He’s cheeky and good with a sword. He and Eddie are an interesting duo and often spar together.

Mara is a sort of, kinda noblewoman who works in the library with Jason Winkler and Daphne Andrews (the royal librarians amongst other things). She is training to take Daphne’s place, and is one of the most educated people in the kingdom despite her status and gender. She and Willow are good friends, and Mara and Sir Mick have often crossed paths (another *wink, wink*)

Willow is a kitchen maid, who is in love with Alfie, but he just has noticed yet. She’s just like she is in HOA canon, and she does have magic potential (but she doesn’t know how to use it, and so goes undetected).

Sir Mick is a young knight of the realm, (sort of a Sir Leon/Sir Percival character) strong and noble—if a little thick. He’s always the first to run into danger to help a friend and feels duty bound to any path he takes. While he’s betrothed to Amber, he can’t help but be caught up in the beauty that is Mara.

Victor is kinda irredeemable oops, but yeah he’s more Uther than Eric is. He wants to take over the world and live forever by killing magic users and stealing their power for himself.

Sibuna is a thing (they’re the lil group trying to save sorcerers) started by Fabian in this scenario, actively participated in by Alfie and Patricia. Later, Nina and Amber get involved, and later still, Eddie and KT do.

It’s a fun time. Maybe I’ll write some stuff set in this universe but yeah.

[hayleysstark]

hello, follower here accepting your $3 to submit Merlin whump prompt (though if we’re being honest I don’t need money to request Merlin whump lololol) I’m a sucker for any fics that involve Merlin getting cursed to be some kind of animal or beast and then either getting wounded bc its a fragile animal like a rabbit or small bird or smth OR it’s like a massive beast and Arthur attempts to kill it unknowingly that it’s actually Merlin until he morphs back into his human form :’) have fun x

I wish you would write a fic where… Send me an anymous (or not) summary of the fic you wish I would write. (maybe I will write a tidbit)

“though if we’re being honest I don’t need money to request Merlin whump” ANON YOU,,,,,,,,, ARE A WHUMPER AFTER MY OWN HEART ;A; anyways I’m not great with transformation AUs tbh I don’t think I’ve ever written one before so this is,,,,,, bad + melodramatic lol but I really wanted to try my hand at it in spite of my inexperience!! I hope you like it!!

Arthur’s never taken Merlin for a coward. Not really. Or, at least, not for a very, very long time now. Since the incident with the poisoned wine, at least. Hell, perhaps before even that—it’s certainly not any ordinary man who’d pick a fight with a crown prince, accuse a well-respected knight of deception, dishonorable conduct, and sorcery to boot, then turn ’round and face down an afanc scarcely a day afterward—but now there’s a dragon loose on a wild, fiery rampage in the heart of the citadel, and the idiot’s off in the tavern.

True, Gaius didn’t exactly say it, in so many words, but Arthur’s learned to read between the lines, to hear what isn’t said aloud, to find the truth in all the nonsense, all that I thought he was with you and he should have been home by now and don’t be too hard on him Sire—

Rubbish. That’s what it is.

Merlin’s just off in some tavern or other, hiding out until Arthur vanquishes the dragon, or perhaps so deep in his cups he hasn’t even heard about the dragon yet.

Either way, there’s a dragon in the citadel and Merlin’s in the tavern and everything is awful.

So it’s another Tuesday in Camelot.

It’s an age before Arthur finally lands a blow on the great beast, but at last, his gleaming blade breaks skin and sinks, buried to the hilt, in the dragon’s glistening, green-gold scales. The monster throws back its head, and lets out an enormous, ear-splitting roar, so terrible the trees quiver all the way to the roots, so terrible the birds startle from their nests and up into the sky, and a blinding jet of bright, searing flame pours from the immense, open jaws. 

And then the horrible sinuous, serpentine body lurches to the side, and crashes heavily to the earth. It sets the trees to shaking again, branches trembling as if in a high wind, and a storm of dead, withered leaves fluttering lightly all around the dying beast.

Arthur doesn’t sheathe his sword, not yet, because there’s a part of him, a strange and anxious and unshakable part of him that says this isn’t over yet, this isn’t over yet, when all is said and done, you’ll see this isn’t over yet, and he edges, cautiously, ever closer to the dragon, one hand outstretched because this isn’t over yet—

—and then there is a burst of brilliant, blazing light, and the wasted frame of the dying creature disappears in all the radiance, all the gold, brighter than the rising dawn, and Arthur has to turn his head away, and the empty space behind his eyes burns fiery yellow and orange—

And then, all at once, there is silence, and darkness, and everything is still, and when Arthur dares to look around again, the dragon is gone, and—

—and Merlin is there.

Merlin is there, in the grass, right where the dragon had fallen, skin pale as parchment and lips grey and eyelashes fluttering, rapid as a heartbeat, and scarlet blood soaking his side in thick scarlet streams and Excalibur’s flawless pommel jabs sharply upward, like a crooked finger, from his body—

Arthur doesn’t think about it—he doesn’t ask where the dragon has gone, he doesn’t ask how Merlin got all the way out here when he should be off in a drunken stupor somewhere or other— he doesn’t ask how it happened, and maybe he should, but he doesn’t, he doesn’t ask, he doesn’t even care, he just lurches forward and presses both palms to the wound, because it’s all he can do, it’s all he can think to do, even though he knows it’s hopeless, knows it’s over, knows no one in the world can lose that much blood, and still live—

“—Arthur—” Merlin rasps, and turns his dark head, a little, grass and fallen leaves tangled up in his hair, “—sorry—”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur says, because doesn’t the idiot know he needs to save his strength, doesn’t he know he’ll only make himself worse if he tries to chatter on like he always does, doesn’t he know he’ll just make—?

“I—I’m going to get Gaius,” Leon says. He’s practically as pale as Merlin, looks like he might pass out any second now, and his quick eyes dart from the blade in the servant’s side to the blood on his tunic, but he doesn’t say it, doesn’t say any of it, doesn’t say how can Merlin have the exact same wound as Arthur just gave the dragon, in the exact same spot—?

“—sorry,” Merlin says, again, a hoarse gasp at the back of his throat, as the steady thump of Leon’s boots on the grass gets fainter and fainter and fainter in the distance, “sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t mean—I tried not to—couldn’t stop—I was—”

“No—don’t—” Because shut up isn’t working the way it should but he can’t can’t can’t let Merlin say it, can’t hear it, can’t listen, can’t let Merlin say—

“—I was the dragon,” Merlin says, and it’s like he thinks Arthur is going to hit him, to strike him, to shake him, to take him up and beat him, or cast him away to die, to turn his back in disgust or fear—

“—no,” Arthur says, “you weren’t. Don’t—don’t think you can get out of this, Merlin. Everyone knows you were in the tavern.”

Merlin’s lips give a lazy little twitch up at the corners. “Morgana,” he slurs. “S’a curse. I couldn’t—couldn’t fight—” His eyes start to flutter shut again.

“No—no—” Arthur shakes him a little. “No, don’t, Merlin, don’t go to sleep, Gaius can help, Gaius will help you—”

The tired lines around Merlin’s dull eyes pull tight with pain. “—tried to fight it—”

“—yeah,” Arthur says, tightly, “I’m sure you did. You fight everything.” And you have to fight this, too, you have to fight this, you have to, I don’t know what I’ll do if you—if you don’t—

Merlin drags in a low, labored breath, like he’s got something stuck in his lungs, like the blood has flooded up the back of his throat now, like he’s drowning in his own blood, and he—

—he doesn’t let it out again.

[asortafairytale]

Fandom meme tagged by @nyx4 and @cleoselene xoxo which took me 90 years to finish but it’s HARD OKAY thinking is hard

A: Your current OTP. Jace/Alec from Shadowhunters. Apparently this makes me problematic but I don't care

B: A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind. This is hard because if I started watching a show because of someone they typically told me their ship ahead of time and then I was looking for it.  So I guess the closest I can come up with is that I lowkey ship Sephiroth/Genesis from Final Fantasy because of @nyx4 but I've never played the game

C: A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't. Arthur/Merlin from Merlin.  Everyone always went so over the top with Merthur, and I shipped it for a few seconds but I never really liked Arthur so it was hard to care.

D: What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? An X-Files fanfic uploaded to Gossamer titled, embarrassingly enough, "My Immortal" to which I attached my real name.  I was 14 or 15 and therefore very stupid. (I have since had this and another removed from the site, thankfully).  I also handed this fic into my English teacher to read.  Even more embarrassing.  The plot? Mulder loved Scully but he wanted to make sure that she loved him so he tried to make her jealous and when she did act jealous he was like "lol jk" and then I went into a lot of detail on a kiss they shared (THAT MY ENGLISH TEACHER READ) and then they got engaged and then they both got shot outside of Mulder's apartment for WHATEVER REASON and died.  Hence "My Immortal", because they'll be together in death.

E: Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what? Yes, and I shall find the post I made on Livejournal so I can bring you direct to the source.  It was for Legend of the Seeker, and I got the idea to Photoshop a fake Facebook post based on an episode (I forgot where I got the idea, if I saw it in another fandom or what).  Anyway the result was this:

https://imgur.com/Zo5Bi6x

It spun of control and spawned an actual Facebook RP which is where I met the two people who tagged me in this and AIN'T LIFE REALLY CRAZY SOMETIMES???

F: What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? The X-Files. I got into it when I was around 11 or 12 and was a pretty active member until I was 17 or 18. Which doesn't seem very long, but to be heavily into it, I feel it was. And then I came back around to it when the revival was announced, so it's been an on and off relationship.

G: What was your first fandom? The X-Files, probably, in terms of content-creating.  Maybe if I'm counting things like "I pretended I was Xena a lot and I would call my friend on the phone and we’d talk about Xena" then maybe Xena: Warrior Princess

H: Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows? Real-life, hands down. I hate animation.

I: Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? Lol what -hasn't- Tumblr caused me to hate?  Tho...you know what...I've never said it on this hellsite for fear of reprisal, but I'm going to do it. Tumblr turned me off Sansa Stark back in season 2 or so.  There was so many posts where people were so aggressive about unfollowing and hating people who didn't like Sansa and it got so irritating I started to dislike Sansa by association. So congrats, Tumblr, you played yourself. Also, this site turned me off The Musketeers around season 3. So much Aramis hate, kind of soured me since I watched the show for Santiago Cabrera. And then that association soured me on Santiago, so. Thanks.

J: Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. I'm going to say Teen Wolf. It was all over the place when it was first airing and people either loved it or thought it was ridiculous so I started watching it finally and it was ridiculously great. But then they killed off Allison and ruined my life :)))))

K: How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s). I don't really know what my current fandoms are - I'm kind of really into Shadowhuters rn but not in a "making things" sort of way. Anyway, I have heard some very terrible things about this fandom so I am wary.

L: Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? I don't read fanfic and I'm not into fanart so.

M: A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to. @nyx4 again. Got me into watching Sons of Anarchy. I had tried previously and got about 10 minutes in and couldn't stand it but she said it got better so I powered through and then I was into it.

As for non-TV and movie stuff, @tsukinosusagis got me into a shitton of music and like he said a few days ago “Remember when Lights created our friendship??? ICONIC”

N: Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over). Legend of the Seeker on its Livejournal days, back in 2009 and 2010 were my favorite. Nothing on tumblr.hell is a good fandom. All of it should burn.

O: Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of? Lmao I'm really bad at this.  I suffer trying to pick songs for ships so idk

P: Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). SHADOWHUNTERS PIRATE AU. Also, it's not an AU, but I have a very elaborate setup in my head for an episode of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang is convinced the bar is haunted and the name of the ep is "Paddy's Pub: The Most Haunted Bar in Philadelphia"

Q: A ship you’ve abandoned and why. Cersei/Jaime because Jaime is a rapist. Also made me stop watching GOT because I was really mostly watching for Cersei and Jaime but I didn’t wanna see Jaime anymore so

R: A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. Morgana/Lancelot from Merlin. I'm sure there's a lot in the actual Arthuriana stuff that people ship, but I'm just talking about the show. I was only able to find maybe 1 gifset and 2 fics about these two.  Granted, I only shipped them because SANTIAGO CABRERA AND KATIE MCGRATH so maybe nobody else cared.

S: What's a headcanon you have? I don't really have any of these.

T: What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships? Jace/Alec (Shadowhuters), Aramis/Porthos (The Musketeers), Red/Snow (Once Upon a Time), Rizzoli/Isles (Rizzoli & Isles), Eliot/Quentin (The Magicians), Penny/Quentin (The Magicians), Xena/Gabrielle (Xena), Mac/Dennis (It's Alway Sunny), Willow/Tara (BTVS)

U: What are your favorite male/female ships? Mulder/Scully (The X-Files), Cesare/Lucrezia (The Borgias), Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker), Richard/Cara (Legend of the Seeker), Gemma/Tig (Sons of Anarchy), Mitchell/Annie (Being Human), Spike/Dru (BTVS), Jim/Pam (The Office), Jane/Michael (Jane the Virgin)

V: Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what? Yeah, Darken Rahl/Cara/Dahlia from Legend of the Seeker. And it has to be a threeway, because any two of these characters together I don't ship but the 3 together? YES YES YES

W: 5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms. Bo Dennis (Lost Girl) Ilithyia (Spartacus) Dana Scully (The X-Files) Quentin Coldwater (The Magicians) Gemma Teller (Sons of Anarchy)

X: 3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms. Why would ya ask me this question when you asked for my favorite ships above, bro?

But I guess

Mulder/Scully (The X-Files) Richard/Nicci (Legend of the Seeker) Jim/Pam (The Office)

Y: A fandom you’re in but have no ships from. Most of them - like even if I do have a ship, it's pretty lowkey?  A lot of the above are lowkey.  But I'll say Black Sails. 

Z: What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it? Lol Jalec I guess? Like I'm saying it right now, but I'm not gonna go out there and go big with it because lots of annoying people out there.

[merlinficreview]

But It’s A Good Refrain Review!

But It’s a Good Refrain by lady_ragnell

Word Count: 23090

Alright friends, enemies and others. I decided to use this for the next review because it’s got a fairly high number of hits. I thought about doing The Student Prince next, but since I just finished reviewing a Modern Royalty AU, I thought I would do something else first. I’ve never read this fic but it sounded vaguely interesting.

The fic opens with Arthur trying to change the radio channel from some girl calling into a talk show to complain about her boyfriend. Morgana refuses to let him change the channel. “’He isn’t torturing them,’ Morgana snaps. Arthur is especially sorry that he chose to drive down with her when she’s in an even worse mood than usual due to their father refusing to donate to the charity she runs. ‘He’s listening. Something that you obviously don’t know how to understand or do, but this show really helps people.’”

Put him in his place, Morgana! Also LOL Holy First World Problems, Batman. Did you catch exactly what Morgana was pissed about? Her dad not donating to the charity she wanted him to. I mean, I guess I get it if he was donating to Republicans or something else terrible like that, but the fic doesn’t imply that it was for anything other than small animals or children. Get over it, Morgana, someone who needed that money still got it.

Anyways, Arthur tells Morgana that talk shows like that are all scripted and fake. “’He is not a fake, and I know that because—‘ Morgana stops, cheeks going pink.” Oop. Busted.

“You have! You called Dragon’s Lonely Hearts like the Billy No-Mates you are.” Damn, Arthur. Not only are you making fun of her for calling a radio show for help, you’re saying she has no friends? Harsh. Morgana says that he helped her after a bad breakup. Good. You do you, Morgana, Your brother is the worst.

“’Well, I suppose they aren’t paying him or anything,’ Arthur allows. ‘My God, you’re mercenary. I always forget that about you.’ He just raises his eyebrows, since Morgana is the one who spends her life putting a bottom line on everything, even if it is for pandas or irrigation or whatever the hell her catchall charity is supporting this week.” An irrigation charity? Ok. Sure. If I were Uther, I wouldn’t have donated to that one either. And why wouldn’t Merlin (let’s all be real honest, we know it’s Merlin) be getting paid?

Then Morgana makes fun of Arthur for not being able to hold a relationship for more than three months. Pendragon Siblings, man.

So Morgana brings up Dragon’s Lonely Hearts while out at the pub and everyone except Arthur listens to the show, which Arthur is super bitter about. Arthur is even annoyed that his girlfriend listens to it.

Let her do what she wants, Arthur.

“(The breakup with Vivian four days later, incidentally, has nothing to do with this discussion, no matter what Morgana claims. It has everything to do, however, with Vivian’s habit of telling him what sort of ring she wants and leaving wedding magazines around his flat.)” I mean, I can’t fault Arthur for not wanting to propose to his girlfriend of three months. Yikes. That warrants a discussion first rather than a breakup though. “Hey man, I’m super uncomfortable with all these marriage hints you have been dropping. We’ve only been together a few months and I’m not ready for that step.” Done.

So then Uther asks Arthur if he should do commercials for the radio show. “Arthur firmly puts paid to that idea, since he suspects the audience of Dragon’s Lonely Hearts is quite liberal and wouldn’t appreciate Uther’s philosophies.” Told you Uther was Republican.

“The rest of it he finds out when he and Mithian go out for lunch and she cheerfully slips in a story about a friend of hers who got set up on a date through the show and how her boyfriend proposed this past weekend. ‘You should put your name in,’ she says, probably just because she knows it annoys him.” Damn the whole world listens to this show.

Mithian suggests that Arthur try speed dating, which Arthur shoots down ASAP. I don’t blame him. “When he does, she makes a great point of changing the subject, and Arthur assumes that’s all he’ll hear about Dragon’s Lonely Hearts for a while, that it’s one of those odd things that seems like it’s everywhere for a few weeks before fading into obscurity again, like the time when all of his friends ended up talking to him about ducks completely by chance within the same week.” Can we please get all these random conversations about ducks? This is cracking me up for some reason.

The next scene is two weeks later. Arthur is at the gym and you guessed it, Dragon’s Lonely Hearts is playing on the radio there. Vivian is calling in and bitching about Arthur.

Good.

“Well. It sounds like the Dragon takes a deep breath from the crackle of the speakers. You sound like an intelligent woman, Viv, so you know this already, but I’ll say it anyway: if someone doesn’t change their previous behavior, then they’ll never change the way their relationships end. This bloke—Arthur, right? This bloke clearly has a pattern that’s working for him, and if he’s doing things the same way he’s always done, then sure as anything, he’ll end it the way he’s always done as well.”

Go in, Merlin! Obviously Arthur can’t have that, so he leaves the gym to go call the show and will undoubtedly prove Merlin right. The thing that is most interesting to me is that Arthur seems mostly offended that he has being trash talked on a show that his sister is probably listening to. He specifically thinks about that. That’s weird to me. Be more concerned about your boss or coworkers hearing this, Arthur.

“When he does check his phone, after a few deep breaths and a swig out of a bottle of cider, he’s got texts from nearly all of his friends. He only bothers reading Morgana’s, since hers is undoubtedly going to be the worst, and puts up with having to scoll down several times through all the HAHAHA to get to I could almost feel sorry for you if it weren’t true.” See? I would be more worried about a coworker texting me, “umm is this you they are talking about on this show?” Or my boss. How embarrassing.

Mithian calls Arthur and tells him to turn on the radio because Merlin is taking a call from a woman who is specifically calling in about men like Arthur. “’A woman called in to talk about men like you,’ she says, but under it he hears —and I have never met a man like that who wasn’t a terrible user in some strange woman’s voice.

Neither have I, to be honest, says the Dragon, laughing a little, putting Arthur’s hackles right up. I do always have to keep in mind that I’m only hearing one side of the story, but someone who breaks up after three months nearly every time, who usually only dates his friends … well, that’s a sign of someone just looking for convenience, really, not love.”

Damn straight. Read him, Merlin.

So then Arthur decides to call in to the radio show, for reals this time. I mean… I would be fairly embarrassed and humiliated too. “A cheerful woman answers the phone. ‘You’ve reached Dragon’s Lonely Hearts, can I get your name please?’ ‘Arthur,’ he says as calmly as he can manage. There’s a pause. ‘Oh, shit,’ she says quietly, and then in a much less cheerful and more timid voice she says ‘Are you going to sue us?’” LOL I like her. Keeping the important stuff in mind.

“’I am not. But I would like to say that I don’t appreciate my friends texting me to let me know that people are talking about me on a radio show and making assumptions about my character that I can’t defend against.’ Another pause, and then the woman says brightly ‘I’ll put you through!’ in a tone that Arthur recognizes from the workplace, that of someone who doesn’t want to deal with whatever problem’s been dumped in her lap, and suddenly he’s hearing what must be the end of the song playing on the radio and someone counting down quietly to prepare to go on the air.” I have 100% used that annoying, “OK then! I’ll get the manager!” cheerful voice to get rid of someone insufferable before. I like this person and hope she sticks around.

So Arthur is put on the air and complains about all his friends making fun of him. Merlin asks him to share his side of the story but Arthur won’t. I don’t know what Arthur was expecting to happen then. “There’s very little to say about the other side of the story, I’m afraid. I get in relationships that I believe will work out, and if they don’t seem to be satisfying both of us I end them.”

How romantic…

Merlin tells Arthur that’s not why you date people. “You have no right to sit in a studio and judge people you’ve never met and who don’t ask for your advice. You know nothing about me and you aren’t saying anything you couldn’t get out of a university counseling textbook or a romantic film, so I’m going to guess you don’t know much about love either.” Arthur. You called HIM. Stop. Merlin then basically hangs up on him. Good.

The next morning, Morgana angrily knocks on Arthur’s door. “’You’ve got a fucking key!’ he yells anyway…” I don’t know why this is cracking me up so much but it is. Morgana refuses to use her key. She says it’s because she’s too mad. I guess.

Morgana says she knows Arthur feels bad about being a shitty person towards Merlin and asks what he’s going to do about it. Which is… strange? I mean if I were in Arthur’s position, I would just let the guilt gnaw away at me until it dissipated over time and I no longer had the compulsion to think about it every ten seconds and it became a distant, though embarrassing memory that I just think about occasionally. I could call the show and apologize if I were in this situation but let’s be honest, I wouldn’t. Letting things fester is basically my go to response for everything.

I guess I need to work on some things.

Morgana suggests that Arthur write Merlin a letter to apologize. “Don’t say maybe, Arthur, you’ll waffle long enough to talk yourself out of it, and you hit a button last night. I’ve listened to this show a lot, and people have been awful to him, but I’ve never heard him lose his cool like that. This matters.” I do that “well maybe I’ll do this” waffling thing too.

WHY AM I IDENTIFYING WITH ARTHUR? I AM NOT OK WITH THIS TURN OF EVENTS.

And of course no one pushes Merlin’s buttons like Arthur! Even anonymously!

“He puts the toast down a second time automatically because his toaster never manages it right the first time and turns around to watch her, because she’s obviously got something else on her mind. Sure enough, the coffee isn’t even ready before she speaks again. ‘Now that that’s over with, are you okay?’” That’s sweet of Morgana and everything but let’s talk about this toast situation. If your toast isn’t heating up well enough… why don’t you just turn it up higher? If it’s at this highest level and not working, you need to get a new toaster. Or just enjoy your bread and quit bitching.

“’I don’t know why any of them are still friends with me.’ She raises her eyebrows and he turns around to butter their toast as the coffeemaker goes off and she starts pouring. ‘You I understand, since I never actually dated you, thank God, Uther would have had a heart attack when he found out, but the rest of them? As last night illuminated so clearly, I’m not a very good boyfriend, and after Leon and Elena, Percival and Mithian had to know …’”

Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. WAIT. I need a second here.

Why is Arthur’s go to explanation for why he and his sister still hang out because he never dated her and not because she’s his SISTER? And why is the thing Arthur fixates on in this hypothetical about how Uther would freak out about him dating his sister and not you know, ARTHUR DATING HIS SISTER? Why did Arthur even say that sentence in the first place? Why is this even a hypothetical that needs voiced? I’m starting to think that the reason Arthur’s relationships fail is because he has repressed feelings for his sister.

For some extremely baffling reason, Morgana has no comment about their dating hypothetical and just tells him they are going for a walk and he is going to buy her something for annoying her. What? Just. WHAT?

Sometime later, Merlin receives Arthur’s letter and accepts his apology live on the radio. The next day, Arthur is working and Mithian calls to inform him that Arthur’s apology letter is all over the fan sites for Merlin’s show.

So the next Friday, Arthur is once again at the gym and Merlin’s show is playing. Merlin says they’ve been getting a lot of mail about Arthur’s letter (he still doesn’t specify who it’s from). “Maybe I should be deliberately mysterious more often, if it gets my fans so excited. Maybe then I’ll get more listeners and they’ll give me more money. Right, then, I’ll cop to it, the apology was from a man who’d asked me out and now we’re making mad passionate love when I’m not on air.” Arthur starts worrying about how his friends are going to respond to this.

“Congrats on your radio boyfriend. Cannot decide if that is more or less lame than having an internet boyfriend, Percival has sent, because everyone thinks he’s an adorable gentle giant but he has a mean streak.”

It’s funny because you would never expect that from Percival.

The next week, Arthur leaves work early and goes to hang out at a café and drink coffee where Elena finds him. Because all of Arthur’s friends are creepy stalkers and far too invested in his life. She pulls up a bunch of personal ads from fans of Merlin’s show (and now Arthur, apparently) who are taking out ads to find him. Wtf? Be creepier, people.

I want to point out this though: “’So, I was looking through the personals this morning—‘ ‘Oh God, Ellie, no. I won’t date anyone who wrote to the paper, and neither will you, I thought you learned your lesson after Craigslist.’” Personal tip from me to you, never date someone you find on Craigslist. You will get murdered. The end. 

“’You have got to be kidding me,’ he mutters. ‘Morgana is behind this somehow.’ Elena eyes him. ‘You are extremely paranoid where Morgana is concerned, you know.’” I was just thinking the exact same thing, Elena. Arthur is way too obsessed with his sister. Stop it.

“’I don’t know what this is all about, since the Dragon made it quite clear that nothing was going on, but it’s getting ridiculous, and I suspect I’m going to have to lecture all of you so you won’t turn me in.’ ‘Turn you in.’ Elena snorts. ‘It’s not as if you’ve committed murder, but I wasn’t going to call in and say “oh, I know this upstanding gent, you wouldn’t happen to want to meet him for a drink, would you?”or anything else like that, because I’m not stupid.’” LOL I love Elena in this.

Elena decides to start googling stuff about this extremely odd but entertaining drama. “All sorts of threads theorizing about who the upstanding gent is, that seems to be the favorite for you rather than Mr. Right for Now, apparently the Dragon’s used that phrase quite a bit with some of his callers and this distinguishes you.” Either Merlin has a crush on Arthur for no reason or he knows exactly what’s going to get him more fans and is exploiting it.

“The prevailing theory seems to be that he isn’t dating you, but he’d like to, and that’s why all the adverts are in the papers, they think they’re doing him a favor, or that it’s like the whole Sherlock thing. Can’t figure out if it’s a show of support or an attempt to deliver you on a silver platter, though.” 

“’The silver platter, definitely,’ he tells his palms. ‘Morgana, remember? She’d like to serve me up roasted with an apple in my mouth.’” Stop being weird and paranoid about your sister, Arthur. It’s not normal.

“’Maybe Mithian and I can start making a scrapbook of all this, we’ll take it out at your wedding and talk about that time you had an imaginary romance with a radio host.’ Arthur manages a smile. ‘And who exactly, in this fantasy of yours, am I marrying? I’m on a bit of a hiatus after Vivian, if you hadn’t noticed.’ Elena grins in return. ‘Oh, maybe you’ll marry the Dragon, then it can be the scrapbook of the story of your relationship.’ ‘Never going to happen. Even if, by some freak of chance, we were to meet and not want to kill each other, I would never date him—and, more to the point, he would never date me.’”

Arthur is hanging out at his flat listening to Merlin’s show the next Friday. The show is about cheating and a couple of callers bring up Arthur, aka, “Upstanding Gent.” Merlin mentions a couple of times that he and Arthur have never even met but his callers are having none of it. One of the callers mentions his girlfriend possibly cheating on him with a celebrity. He uses a hypothetical of it being Benedict Cumberbatch. “Arthur snorts, since his friends are always teasing him for his crush on Sherlock Holmes, and waits to hear how the Dragon reacts.” I really just wanted to point this out since sometimes, Colin Morgan looks like he could be Benedict Cumberbatch’s sexy, hot younger brother and Merlin is clearly Dragon in this and Colin Morgan played Merlin.

I could go on.

Um. Anyways.

You are not subtle, Author.

Then again, neither am I.

What were we talking about? Oh right.

When the show ends, Merlin apologizes to Arthur on air for his creepy ass fans. Arthur then sends an email to the radio station. When Merlin responds, he assumes it’s another creepy fan since he’s gotten other similar emails. Arthur tells him it’s really Arthur emailing. Then Merlin responds with, “Oh, shit. You aren’t writing to say you’re going to sue or something, are you? This really isn’t something I thought would get this out of control.” I love how worried everyone working at this radio station is about getting sued. Arthur responds and says he won’t sue, but just wanted to share that his friends are making fun of him too, for the whole situation.

Arthur meets Mithian with Elena, who has a new boyfriend. “So what do you think it will be this time?” Arthur asks as Mithian takes a sip from her drink. “Wife locked in the attic, Elena looks just like his mum …” This actually made me laugh. Poor Elena. She must be super unlucky in love, damn. Mithian has a different theory, “’Neither. He’s a free spirit, she can’t expect commitment because nothing can hold him down. Possibly with the added bonus of borrowing money from her.’ ‘I’ll buy the free spirit, but not the borrowing money. Leather is expensive.’ ‘I don’t really want to ask how you know that.’ ‘I’m Morgana’s brother, so no, you don’t.’” What the hell does Morgana have to do with this conversation about leather? Arthur seriously can’t go five minutes without talking about his sister. It’s so weird.

Arthur tells Mithian he emailed the radio show and that Merlin hasn’t responded yet and Mithian is suspicious that Arthur also has a secret crush on Merlin and that’s why he’s not trying to hit on anyone during Elena’s date. Ok. “Or only related insofar as perhaps he might have been right when he called me out on dating for convenience and that I should wait for someone I can’t be logical about—and again, if you tell Morgana, I’m going to have to kill you.”  So he is accidentally taking Merlin’s original advice. Good job, Arthur.

Over the weeks, Merlin and Arthur keep emailing a little back and forth. “He listens to parts of the show whenever he happens to be in his flat while it’s airing, though he misses quite a few because Elena’s boyfriend is into clubbing and she doesn’t like going alone to meet him.” Good job, Elena! Not meeting strange men alone. Proud of you, etc. I’m also happy that Arthur and their other friends don’t seem to have any sort of problem hanging out with Elena on her dates. Though she really shouldn’t be dating someone she feels uncomfortable being alone with after a certain point.

Anyways, Cenred ends up being shitty to Elena and dumps her after they have sex. That Friday, Elena calls into Merlin’s show. Arthur starts freaking out because he is obviously listening. Elena tells Merlin she seems to always get asshole men and Merlin says he used to be like that. Then there’s secondhand embarrassment when Elena starts talking about her friends. “Oh, they definitely are. They are fine, upstanding people. Arthur is going to kill her. And Morgana, because he recognizes the muffled giggle in the background.” Merlin ignores that subtle hint and gets Elena to tell listeners about herself so he can set her up. Then, “And like I said, she winds up, I have lovely friends, if you date me you’ll probably spend quite a bit of time with them. Yes, the upstanding ones, says M, and Arthur already knows this is going to be one of the calls mentioned in their e-mail later. I know him, you know, Elena adds in a conspiratorial whisper, and either Morgana is prodding her to do it or he’s misjudged her level of cruelty.” Oh god. How embarrassing.

A couple of men call for Elena including: “Hello, Ellie, I’m Gwaine, comes the new voice when M asks for the next caller, a bit rough and Irish. Oh, shit, M whispers, but covers it over so quickly Arthur thinks he might have imagined it. Good evening, Gwaine, welcome to Dragon’s Lonely Hearts, and what makes you want to date our lovely Elena?” So hopefully he isn’t one of the people who has cheated on Merlin.

Merlin emails Arthur and asks if Elena is really his friend and Arthur says she is. Then Merlin says that Gwaine is his friend. So not an ex-cheater boyfriend. That’s good news.

The night Gwaine and Elena go in their date, Elena won’t let any of them go with her. “(Arthur’s on duty, though, and she’ll call if things do go wrong, so he feels better about leaving her than he would otherwise).” That’s a good friend, guys. Seriously.

Of course Arthur is listening to Merlin’s show and a woman is complaining about how you can’t meet people who are boyfriend material at clubs. “So maybe the club scene isn’t your place for doing that. My upstanding gent hates picking people up at clubs, it’s all a matter of where you feel most comfortable, like I said.” Merlin then emails Arthur right away to apologize for that slip. How do you “accidentally’ slip something like that about someone you aren’t dating or interesting in dating? That’s weird. Merlin has to know what saying that will do to all the creepy fans.

Elena and Gwaine have started dating and during dinner with Arthur, Elena talks about Gwaine and mentions his friends and Merlin’s name. Arthur emails Merlin later and lets him know he knows his real name. “Thanks for telling me. I don’t mind—I figured when Gwaine called in that we’re going to meet someday, and he’s been teasing me about you. I trust you not to tell the whole world you know the Dragon, so it’s fine. It really is. You keep reacting like you expect me to hate you and I don’t, I promise. There are a few lines of space, and then the signoff—this time it says Merlin instead of M. Arthur spends the whole time he’s getting ready for bed smiling.” Aww.

Morgana shows up the next Friday to drag Arthur out to the club with her and she figures out that he’s been talking to Merlin. When they get to the club, Elena introduces everyone to Gwaine. “’Gwen’s just got strange work hours sometimes, but yeah, Merlin’s a psychology student during the weeks.’ Mithian raises her eyebrows. ‘Graduate work?’ That shuts Gwaine’s face right down. ‘No, he’s almost graduated, though. He had a bit of a gap after A-levels, is all.’ Arthur thinks of Merlin mentioning a husband that first night they argued on the radio and decides he doesn’t want to hear any more of that from Gwaine.” Poor Merlin. I don’t remember him mentioning being married before though.

After some investigating, called scrolling back up to that part of the fic, Merlin did on the sly mention being married during their fight. I don’t know how I missed that.

When they leave the club, Gwaine gives Arthur Merlin’s number per Merlin’s request. Arthur then texts Merlin and Merlin tells Arthur he was fending calls about Arthur all evening. There’s some cute banter. The next show Merlin does, Arthur is listening, (obviously) and someone brings up Arthur during their call in, “I imagine it’s how your upstanding gent must feel. First he apologizes, then you claim you aren’t in contact, now you know all about his opinions on everything, the poor thing must be confused. Honestly, if he weren’t the man of my bloody dreams I’d be done by now.” Arthur texts Merlin that he isn’t confused and Merlin tells that to the caller.

Then there’s some cuteness with Arthur texting Merlin every time a caller mentions him. “You should just call in, Merlin sends at the end of the night. It would save me having to play translation service.

You underestimate your fans. They’d recognize my voice and call en masse to tell you to stay away from me.

You apologized.

They’re less forgiving than you are, I would imagine. I was awful that night.

There’s a pause. You aren’t awful now. Before Arthur can begin to think of a way to respond to that, another message comes through. Gwen’s scolding me for not paying attention and I’ve got to get home. Go to bed, Arthur.”

“Shit shit shit, he texts Mithian, without really expecting an answer, and puts down his phone for the night.” I had to space it all out because there’s no quotations and I didn’t want it to be confusing as to who was talking. It’s pretty cute and the correct way to write this sort of banter. I know I’ve read quite a few fics where authors will try to replicate the banter Arthur and Merlin have on the show and it never works because almost every single one I’ve read has had it basically just being Arthur emotionally abusing Merlin and Merlin putting up with it. This is also a good way for Arthur to bring up that he was indeed an asshole at first and for Merlin to point out that he apologized and that he’s nice to him now. That never really happens in other fics.

Elena and Gwaine make plans for Gwaine and Elena’s friends to all meet. Merlin and Arthur reassure each other they are ready to meet.

“Arthur runs into Mithian on his way to Elena’s favorite diner, and she immediately stops him, suppressing a smile. ‘You can’t wear a tie to eat chicken and terrible chips, Arthur, even if your Merlin is going to be there. Come here.’ ‘He’s not my anything,’ Arthur argues, but he lets Mithian tow him forward to unknot his tie and unbutton the top button on his shirt. ‘Oh, but you’re his upstanding gent, aren’t you?’ She stows his tie in her handbag. ‘Are you going to be okay?’” Mithian is a good friend. She checks on Arthur a lot like this in the fic but it’s not pushy and overbearing like in a lot of fics I’ve read. It’s sweet.

Merlin and Arthur FINALLY meet. “Merlin smiles, and Arthur’s imagined him looking like many things, but never this. He may not be Arthur’s usual type, but … he brushes his hand against Arthur’s wrist under the table. ‘So how are we handling this?’” Good job, Merlin, not making this about you and asking Arthur what he wants.

When they are all introducing themselves a little later, Merlin says he hosts a radio show on the weekends. It doesn’t take long for everyone to figure it out and they are all equally surprised.

After dinner, Arthur and Merlin hightail it out of there and go for a walk. Merlin tells Arthur to stop freaking out. Arthur asks Merlin why he isn’t freaking out too. “’That’s because I have had some really terrible dates in my time,’ Merlin says once they’ve got properly started. ‘I’m like Elena being an arsehole magnet, remember? You being shy doesn’t even make my top twenty worst dates.’ Arthur can’t help objecting to that. ‘I’m not shy! I’m just … adjusting to the change.’ ‘You spent half of dinner looking like I was outraging your maiden virtue.’” That actually made me laugh.

“’I was afraid I was going to have to piss you off properly before you’d loosen up. Look, I know this is awful, first-date chemistry alongside month-of-dating knowing each other, but we’re going to have to soldier on.’ ‘A month of dating?’” I am as confused is Arthur here. Texting someone you have never met in person isn’t dating, Merlin.

“’Now that we’re … doing whatever it is we’re doing, you should mention it on air. Or not, actually, I feel like you’d be responsible for half your fans ending up in A&E with heart palpitations.’ ‘Doing whatever we’re doing?’ Merlin grins. ‘Dating, I think, unless you have any particular objections. Maybe in a while we can slap the boyfriend label on it.’”

I probably wouldn’t bring the fans into it though. They are weird enough about Merlin and his Upstanding Gent. They kiss and Arthur tells Merlin he won’t be inviting Merlin home because he has to work in the morning.

“’You’re sort of a prince,” he says quietly. ‘And I’ll let you out of dragging me to your flat, which is probably much larger and neater than mine, as long as you promise to call me soon.’ ‘We’ll be talking on Friday for your show, anyway.’ ‘Before then.’ Merlin finally straightens up and it occurs to Arthur that even if they aren’t still kissing they’ve managed to get tangled up. He unwraps his arms from Merlin’s waist and lets Merlin catch his hand before they can get too far apart. ‘I’m liable to pine, otherwise.’ ‘You could always call me,’ Arthur points out.” So I like this because I like Arthur going against this fandom’s ridiculous notion that Arthur is the MAN and must do all the MANLY things like calling Merlin first.

Sometime later, Arthur is Merlin’s special guest on his radio show. Arthur eventually falls asleep during the show because Merlin’s on in the middle of the night. “He isn’t aware of much else until he hears Merlin saying ‘—five minutes left, and as some of you might have noticed, my upstanding gent has been quiet for a while now. This is because he’s fallen asleep, the daft thing, but I suppose that’s what comes of being a businessman by day. So, since it’s been a special show—and I’ll bet you’re all hoping I can talk him into coming in again every once in a while—I’ll sign off for the night with one last song for him. Thank you all for listening, as always, and this is the Dragon saying good night to you. I’ll be back again next Friday at ten.’”

Then, “Arthur drags him down into his lap instead. ‘Am I a prisoner?’ Merlin inquires. ‘Absolutely. Until I can bring myself to move, at least.’ He stretches his neck out and lets Merlin nuzzle at his hair even though Gwen is watching and looking like she wants to lunge for her camera phone.”

Fucking cute. Even with Gwen being a voyeur in the background. Merlin invites Arthur to spend the night. The end.

So I really liked this fic. It’s definitely the best one I’ve reviewed so far and probably even fairly high on my list of fics that I like in general. No drama for drama’s sake, it’s pretty well written and characters react and behave in realistic ways. It’s an interesting plot and stays entertaining throughout the story. The only thing I wish we had more information on was Merlin’s previous husband but, it’s not handled in a way, the few times it’s brought up, that makes me feel like the story is incomplete without us knowing what happened. I was also concerned about Arthur’s weird obsession with Morgana. I found Merlin and Arthur are pretty cute too, which is rare for me. I like that Merlin and Arthur had some flirtatious banter that wasn’t Arthur just being emotionally abusive towards Merlin. I also like that Arthur’s bad behavior towards Merlin in the beginning was handled well and in a believable way. A lot of the time, I find Arthur’s attitude and behavior towards Merlin way over the top and then Merlin’s subsequent accepting of Arthur’s non-apologies and terrible behavior toward him just stupid and unrealistic. It’s not like that in this fic, which I really appreciate. I wish more fics had this Merlin/Arthur dynamic.

Seriously.

Until next time: