#My short kings apparently

[qtubbo]

I just realized is everyone but mariana on team soulfire short??? Like I think they have the smallest average by a lot

[elaina-writes-things]

I haven't seen a single episode of Hazbin Hotel yet. Prime's fuckin' expensive lmfao

Anyway, my TikTok FYP has been flooded with songs from the show, and fortunately I got a look at Big Daddy Lucifer himself, so...I think it's pretty clear I wanna take that for a ride.

I may make a part two. I may not. All I know is that I needed to write about him or it'd consume me.

~~~

Goddamn. Literally.

Look, you hadn't been a saint when you were alive, but you definitely hadn't anticipated eternal punishment in Hell. You hadn't killed anybody, or stolen anything, or been a huge hedonist. As far as you were concerned, you'd lived an extremely average life, the only remarkable part being that huge semi truck flattening you after the driver fell asleep behind the wheel. To you, the fact that you were condemned was bullshit, which is why you'd found yourself doing everything in your power to make it through this clearly-hastily-thrown-together rehab program at the Hazbin Hotel.

Now, though, standing in the lobby and watching a delicious little king strut around, you realized you wanted — needed — to fuck that guy more than you needed to get to Heaven.

"Charlie said her mom's pretty much out of the picture, right?" You whispered to Vaggie.

"Uh, yeah?" She whispered back, glancing at you briefly with her one good eye, then back to watching her girlfriend give Lucifer a tour of the hotel. "Why?"

"Just asking," you mumbled, enthralled. He was singing, now, with a voice like the gorgeous fallen angel he was. You wanted to know how musical his moans sounded, and what other sorts of things that mouth could do.

A glass of water suddenly appeared in front of you, held in a pink-gloved hand. You looked at Angel Dust, who smirked back and winked.

"Drink it up you thirsty bitch."

"Shut up," you hissed, taking the glass and pointedly setting it on the counter. His smirk only grew.

"Don't gotta be supes tall to ride that ride," the spider continued.

"Oh my god."

"Nah, He ain't watchin'. I could, though, if that's your thing."

You wanted to bury your head in your hands but refrained. If you did that, you wouldn't be able to stare at all six of Lucifer's wings. Those things were huge. How often did he preen them? Were they sensitive? Were they an erogenous zoNE OH SHIT CHARLIE AND HER DAD WERE COMING THIS WAY.

Like the others crowded together on the edge of the lobby, you straightened up and plastered a polite smile on your face. Down the line, your names were called out, and the king of Hell shook every corresponding hand. Then, he was face to face with you, and it shouldn't have been as adorable to need to tilt your head down just slightly to meet his eyes as it was.

"And this is another one of our guests! They volunteered to stay! Voluntarily!" Charlie boasted, giving her dad your name. Your hand fit nicely in his — warm, he was exceptionally warm. You didn't realize how cold Hell was until just this moment — and noticed how terribly it was trembling.

Lucifer repeated your name as Charlie gave it, staring almost as intently at you as you were to him. You'd give almost anything to hear him say it again.

Fuck, he had such pretty eyes.

"Thanks! I get that a lot!" He grinned. You'd said that out loud like an idiot. In your periphery, you could see Angel trying his best not to burst out laughing. Fuckfuckfuckfuck.

"That's good," you murmured without thinking, eyes flitting up and down, "your body deserves to be praised."

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

The hand clasping yours tensed up, squeezing briefly, painfully. You both stared at each other with wide eyes, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife.

Then Lucifer quickly withdrew, turning away as though you weren't there and had never existed to begin with.

You ignored the curious look Charlie gave you, the wheezing coming from Angel, the annoyed understanding from Vaggie, and everything else as you excused yourself to go up to your room. Your face was beet red and your stomach was tight with shame. You wanted to disappear under the bed sheets, never to be seen again. Had you really just told the king of Hell you had a thing for praising people? At the very least, he probably thought you were a total whor—

Squeak!

You lifted your head up from where it was buried under all your pillows, coming face to face with a little, rubber ducky. It was cute, sporting two, rosy cheeks and a white top hat.

Gently lifting it, your fingers brushed against a scrap of paper taped to the underside.

"If you meant what you said, I'm free tonight."

A phone number was scrawled on the back. Your heart was thumping wildly in your chest as you read and reread the note, unable to fight the stupid grin on your face.

"Holy shit," you blurted, "I'm gonna fuck Lucifer."

[kenobihater]

WHO organizes their books this way holy shit??????? it's one bump away from total collapse - banged up covers, mangled pages, books all over the floor! and what happens when you wanna read a book from the bottom, huh???

[fistfuloflightning]

It’s be a shame if you tripped up now, shidi.

Archery, Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian prompt from @unforth :)

[lesamis]

being a fic writer is so funny. i just gave my phd thesis into print and literally my first thought looking at the final word count, the culmination of 3+ years of agony and research and blood and tears etc., was "well that's substantially shorter than the exr college au i wrote as a 19 year old in a depressed haze over six months"

[bmpmp3]

vocal synths and winter designs

[libraryspectre]

Strawberry Spring is a very early short story by Stephen King that had a huge impact on me when I was younger. It's about a college campus living in fear of a serial killer. What stuck with me the most was the tense atmosphere. The tone is hushed, but with a mix of panic and perverse excitement just under the surface. The quiet unease is what really draws me in every time. Please read it at the link above!

Edit: also, it's a really quick read. I think in the print edition it's only like 9 pages

[kanalaure]

had a thought when i was in the shower, and the thought was 'maglor dual-wields bc he and maedhros learned to use a sword left-handed at the same time' and it started turning the wheels in my head

the thing is. it was, as his brother's regent and someone who lost three family members (three kings) to morgoth in quick succession (the last time bc morgoth is a sore winner and couldnt resist sending an army to a meet up), the best choice to make with the resources and information they had. leaving him, i mean. they didnt even know for sure he was alive until he was hung from the mountain, and the noldor literally could not have survived losing a fourth leader that soon (not to mention this would have put celegorm in charge, and..... well. well.................)

but

you cant tell me he didnt want to. you cant tell me that didnt eat at him to leave his only older brother, his king, hanging there while he lead their followers as best he could. but after everything............ really, how do you apologize to someone for failing to save them while proof it could have been done was dangling in front of your face?

and when i was thinking about all that i got this image. that when maedhros limps his way to the practice grounds for the first time, maglor is there. he stares at him across the field, and draws his sword with his off-hand.

"it's fair," he says, and nothing else

it's the only apology he knows how to make

[thesaddestjoysandthesmallestlies]

I don’t think I say this enough, but I really love Winter. They’re one of the nicest people ever, and they’re just always so amazing!!! I love them so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so very much! <2222

[paul-simon-juggling]

I asked an AI to physically describe Paul and Art and it is 👌adamant👌 that they are both over 6 foot for some ungodly reason.

[pameluke]

was tagged by the immer lovely @cannellaeluce to share my top 10 comfort movies. I'm not actually sure I have 10, but I'll try!

In the random order that I thought of them, except for the first one because that's my absolute favorite movie.

Silverado (1986) Favorite movie when I was a kid, a classic in my family, stellar cast, fun shoot-outs, hot people in leather pants on horses. Amazing score that lingers in my head and cheers me up.

King Arthur (2004) Great score, great cast, lots of pretty greenery, SARMATHIANS OF MY HEART, great fight sequences, hot people being bloodied on horses

PS, I LOVE YOU (2007) For when I need to cry but can't. (I once watched this three times in a row because I really needed to get it out of my system)

The Mummy (1999) I like to reawaken my bisexuality occasionally. It's fun, it's pretty, it's romantic, it's FUN, and there would have been hot people on horses if they hadn't been on Beni's side of the river.

Transformers (2007) Mostly it's the score, but also the cars transforming into robots and fighting other robots is just fucking cool. Best at getting me out of the couch when I'm struggling with my mental health.

Fast Five (2011) In a way all the Fast and Furious movies are comforting. There is something incredibly relaxing about hot people in hotter cars and lots of explosions. Fast Five is my favorite though because FUN HEIST and Han and Gisele <3 <3

White Fang (1991) Big Nostalgia factor. Young Ethan Hawke and a wolfdog struggle to survive in Alaska. The Gold Rush! THE NATURE. The drama and evil bad guys. The love between the wolf and the boy... Love the book as well, but the movie, argh, my heart.

9. and 10. Should probably go together to the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Two Towers is probably my favorite of the three, but Fellowship the most comforting, but then Return of the King has 'DEATH DEATH DEATH' but also all of the healing and 'you bow for no one' and honestly, I never just watch one. I'll watch Two Towers first, cry when Haldir dies (my favorite moment of the trilogy is when the elves arrive, the whole battle of helms deep runs me through the whole scala of human emotion which is comforting in how cathartic that is), then start the whole trilogy. Perfect blanket and hot chocolate in the couch weekend comfort.

Tagging @vrabia, @soleil-moon-bye, @antiquecompass if you're in the mood, no obligation of course. I always feel awkward about tagging, so everyone who wants to is welcome to list their fav comfort movies. (I added a lot of thoughts because I was in a talking mood, but that's just extra!)

[gaywario420]

this is the kinda shit id get up to

[toonfinatic]

People calling men that are barely below average height "short kings" are WEAK and will not survive the winter much less any season... instead start calling men under 5 foot short kings or die by my blade!!!!!

[todayisafridaynight]

Oh yeah I think Kiryu will pretty much just have his own thing going too lol, and it's half "answering questions for old fans" and half "intro to Kiryu so people new to the series don't have to buy the entire Kiryu Saga," so I'm curious to see how that'll play out as well. But We'll See.

ALSO I mean....... Tendo's getting arrested right... Ichi did just accuse him of attempted murder via Explosion in front of a whole bunch of cops... but then, even if they did end up in prison together, Jo wouldn't know it was him unless Ichi told him, I guess... C'MON ICHI MY BOY DO IT FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT (provided Jo hasn't been defanged and declawed)

Also I just love the hospital scene solely for the perspective here making Jo look shorter. Can you imagine if they kept Tsutsumi's actual height and Jo had to stare down a guy who's taller than him in his scenes with Ichi...

i simply NEED ichi to spill the beans like. not just so jo can get closure but also so he can follow up on his promise to ishioda if you catch my cold 👁️💋👁️ im talking IMMEDIATE First Visit after the funeral tell him. its an open secret cops let inmates kick the shit out of each other under the right circumstances aint it.... me thinks they can turn a blind eye just this once on ex-yakuza business right..... not me though im watching with popcorn in hand--

OMG BUT NO RIGHT I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT why does he look so short what is going ON with the perspectives in this room ☠️☠️ aoki already has no right being taller than six feet he shouldn't ever look taller than jo either (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`)

[abyssaldyke]

Adventures in gender with the TSA: instead of asking to hear my voice, the agent just confidently hit MAN and then sheepishly told me to get back in the machine when it screamed NO DICK at her. Joke's on you, I left it at home.