#N/A personhood

[undonerhapsodize]

would yall make fun of me if i wrote a blurb for the 2nd OFA user when cannonically, mans doesn’t even have a name yet

[lunarmoves]

"do you guys ever wish you could cry?" you ask sun after one particularly exhausting day at the daycare.

he perks up slightly as he looks at you from across the room, blank white eyes inquisitively staring into your own. you take his silence as an indication to continue. "like just, fwoooosh"—you splay your hands outward with the onomatopoeia—"let it all out?"

sun's faceplate makes a sharp click as he tilts it to the side, then he goes back to sweeping up all the abandoned toys on the soft ground into his lanky arms. "now why would we want to do that, friend?"

you frown at his easy dismissal, but continue on, ever persistent in your inquiries. "you know, to make yourself feel better afterwards? ease some stress? especially after the day we've had." you add the last bit on with some dryness, thinking about all the fits and fights you had to deal with throughout your shift.

"mmmnope!" sun responds brightly. he makes his way over to the toy bin to deposit his haul for cleaning later. "can't say i see the appeal!" you're almost offended at this tone.

"come on, indulge me a little!" you complain halfheartedly and follow after him like a little duckling, stopping just a few feet away from his lithe form.

"my dear, all we ever do is indulge you," sun says not without a hint of fondness as he turns around from the bin and pats you on the head. it's not quite condescending, but you swat at his hand lightly and he pulls it back to point it up in a grand gesture. "but! very well!" he pauses, as though to prolong the moment in a dramatic fashion. then, "no. final answer."

"booo"—you give him a thumbs down and a wrinkle of your nose—"boring answer. try again."

sun laughs loudly and it doesn't quite sound like the one you are used to. a shiver crawls down your spine that you brush easily enough away for the time being. "'boring'? or is it just not what you want to hear, hm?"

yikes. he didn't need to call you out like that. you recover as quick as you can. "you can't tell me you've never wanted to cry before."

he doesn't even hesitate. "i've never wanted to cry before."

"ha ha," you say sarcastically. it makes his rays spin around once as he grins. "oh come on. doesn't it bother you that you can't express yourself like that?" you muse, more to yourself than anything, but he of course hears you anyways and settles an unreadable gaze on you.

"bother us? why would it bother us?" sun smiles widely at you, the edges of his grin taut and strained even with his eyes half-lidded and narrow. "why would it bother us that we cannot have water run from our eyes, or snot from our nose? that we cannot mimic something privy to organic beings? it is quite disgusting, frankly."

okay, now you're actually offended. even if he's right, he didn't need to say it in that way. "it can be cathartic for some people, you know!"

"ah ah ah!" sun wags a finger at you and seems to loom over your smaller form. he casts a shadow across your face. "you seem to forget one crucial detail: we are not people. therefore, it does not apply!"

"you clearly feel emotions, though!" you argue, even as you see white pupils alight in his eyes among a backdrop of hurricane grey. "you feel sad and happy and angry. why shouldn't you—"

"i think you've overstayed your welcome, friend," sun cuts across you in a whisper that makes the hairs on the back of your neck prickle. his head clicks to the left once and the sound is like a gunshot in the quiet of the daycare. his eyes squint into crescents at you, but there is no warmth in his gaze.

your jaw clicks shut. and when he speaks, something in your stomach abruptly bottoms out. "get out."

[tora-the-cat]

An interesting little fun thing with team 7 is that you assume that Sakura's gonna, like, woobify and simplify Sasuke by putting him on a pedastal,cause her goal is centered around him and shes a 12 y/o fangirl so like of course her understanding of him is skewed cause she doesnt see him as a person, just an object of affection, right? She's can't get Sasuke, can't imprint on and/or traumabond with him like Naruto and Kakashi do. They don't see him with rose tinted glasses, because they've lived through their own Horrors and empathize with Sasuke's experience.

......right?

WRONG lmao!! They have too many ghosts!! Naruto's single-minded codependent ass won't get out of his own way long enough to see Sasuke for who he actually is, only able to empathize with the parts of his trauma Naruto relates to and not really capable of understanding him outside of the context of himself (because Sasuke is. His other half). And Kakashi is far too jaded to be fair to him!! He can't decide if Sasuke is gonna end up as a mini-him or a mini-Obito or maybe a mini-Itachi, but either way he ALSO is too traumatized to see Sasuke AS SASUKE.

meanehile SAKURA'S autistic ass may have dogshit empathy, but you know what she does have? A special interest in sasuke. Nothing better to do then give herself a degree in Uchihaisms. She can write character studies about him. she can read his soul. Whenever she says something about him she is right. Every fucking time! She is RIGHT!!!!

'sasuke would NOT compliment me this directly or explicitly express worry unprompted, especially if it gets in the way of his goals' correct.

'Sasuke shouldn't hide that curse on his neck its not healthy BUT if I tell anyone about it he'll never trust me again, which might be even more dangerous for him then the curse mark. Like he can probably handle the curse mark but no one else can stop him from ripping peoples arms off.' correct.

Speaking of! 'Sasuke would not hurt me even when he seems to be...possessed? whatever the only way to knock him out of it is to present myself as Alive and thus something to be protected rather then something to be avenged, because he gets really stuck in his own head about revenge' CORRECT

'hey so um. like. Sasuke's gonna leave Konoha. I'm not sure anything can stop him at this point and honestly I'm kinda starting to doubt anything should, so the only thing I could possibly do to help him at this point is ALSO defect.' CORRECT!!!!

[stardustdiiving]

Sometimes I think about we got the very first rumors that playable Scaramouche would be Anemo + get a design change around July 2022 (it was a month or two out from 3.0 release) and a sizable portion of people were melting down on my Twitter recommended over it bc they were absolutely certain this qualified as genshin “ruining his character”. Like they had a hashtag over it and everything it was so funny

[hometownrockstar]

i wanted to start being called other names ive been giving to my alters now that i feel more confident in having osdd so u all can call me names such as Sunnie and Lamby from time to time as well as still Tommy or Thomas... it just feels a little odd to be called thomas all the time when i often dont think im thomas. U can like this post if u want to show u read it but it is not required or anything ^_^

[luetta]

one of the most underrated feelings is when you discover a new song it completely dropkicks the emotional waterslide you were going down and punts you into a new mindset and direction

[tiptapricot]

I was going to ask abt transfem marc too but they beat me to it lol

You said you had headcanons about the system and their relationship to gender? I'm listening,,,,,,,,,

YUSS!! I’ve talked ab stuff off and on in various other posts, like the ones I’ve done on clothing, Jake’s sense of self/home, and some of these, but I’d love to do a lil dedicated hc post just on my gender vibes for em :-)

Since I’ve just done the one on Marc I’ll do only Steven and Jake in this one, though Marc’s gender stuff can vary, again, based on the headcanons I work with (like sometimes he’s a cis man sometimes he’s a trans man sometimes he’s ?? sometimes he’s transfem, etc).

Some of this esp Jake’s stuff will get into heavy hc territory but I hope I can give my vibes for my thoughts in a cohesive way anyway. This will also ofc be an examination of their genders through the lense of western/American systems of gendering, as well as through English language understandings and descriptions of those experiences. There is so much that can also be filled out culturally and through the lens of different languages when it comes to concepts and connection to gender and the self. So while this is limited to a certain scope, I hope it can still spark some thoughts and ppl are welcome to add on their own ideas as well :-)

Let’s go!

Steven’s vibes to me are generally autigender man/cis+. He would use the label of man, he doesn’t necessarily feel outside of the binary or like he connects strongly with anything outside of being a man, but it’s different for him conceptually and in experience than it is for neurotypical cis men.

He doesn’t really think very strongly about the role he’s meant to play, the stereotypes he’s meant to fit. Gender isn’t really a concept on his mind as far as something to worry about or adhere to or live up to. He’s just… vibing. He’s soft spoken and friendly and snappy and awkward. His experience with others is more shaped by how they accept him for his behaviors than how they perceive him for his performance of masculinity. Because he doesn’t try very hard.

He likes loose clothing for sensory reasons, big sweaters, comfortable pants and shoes, things with patterns that make him happy and relate to his interests. And that includes skirts sometimes, maybe occasionally dresses if they’re long sleeved. He doesn’t think “I’m a bloke I can’t wear a skirt” he just does. He talks to people and connects with them, he’s earnest and kind, he cries and loves his fish. He doesn’t have this same weight that can come with trying to fit within the bounds of gendered expectations.

I feel in some ways if he had to try and conceptualize his own gender it would be strange, a role that’s not exactly been strongly felt or enforced (he wasn’t a part of a lot of the hypermasculine parts of their life, doesn’t have the same input Marc or even Jake do), but he also feels comfortable in being a man, in that being his label and the space he occupies.

He likes suits, he likes being called someone’s boyfriend or husband, he likes being called Mr. Grant, he likes the memories of receiving his tallit on his bar mitzvah, and still leads blessings over wine and challah on Shabbat, but none of it feels like an obligation. He also thinks makeup can be really fun and expressive, he likes wearing earrings or bracelets if they add a pop to his outfit, and he lights the candles on Shabbat without feeling out of place (until he encourages Marc to start doing it, to heal through that reclamation of the motherly role [idea courtesy of @fdelopera ]). He’s just comfortable where he is, not feeling the need to do too much and not feeling a need to change.

His brain experience plays into that conceptualization of gender and self, something that can’t be separated when describing it and in some ways can’t be described. Gender is experienced differently when you do not meet the same social expectations/understand the same social cues for it to be taught to you, when the rules themselves don’t make sense, when you have a blended experience of life.

So Steven is Steven, and that’s all he needs to know, and all he needs to be :-)

Jake is more complicated. Again I’ve talked about it before, I think perhaps even in its own post, but I forget the things I’ve ranted about on discord or in various ppls dms versus actual posts. Most of the text I’ll give here is from a wonderful conversation with spicyboelives over on Instagram, as that’s one of the best times I’ve been able to express my thoughts on this, but the ideas themselves have grown from multiple conversations with multiple people.

Essentially though, Jake’s having a ball.

Gender is one of his ways to reclaim and take hold of his sense of self, of his personhood, and as such it is multifaceted and strange. It has pieces to it, distinct ways of experience. To delve into his gender I have to delve first into my thoughts on his existence, and how he feels about that existence, because they’re deeply related and hard to talk about separately.

Jake Lockley protects. In my headcanon of his role and actions he’s a gatekeeper, a physical protector, and an extractor. He handles things Marc can’t, and his goal is to get them away from the threat or neutralize the threat so they’re safe, whether that be a direct attack, or self harming tendencies Marc may be enacting.

When he’s not out—for fast moments, for adrenaline filled snapshots of an outer world—he keeps them steady on the inside, makes sure whoever’s in the front seat is who needs to be and that no memories are trying to backseat drive them into a car crash. With such limited time out, and such a specific purpose, I think personhood as a concept would be complicated. He doesn’t get to experience things the same way Steven and Marc do, and he’s got a lot of responsibility and awareness from the start on what to do and how to do it.

He’s their transport, their traffic coordinator. He’s not fully a person, and he doesn’t get a chance to Be someone for a long time. So he builds it on his own, finds what he likes, the things he can take and repurpose into his own meaning and use, make them his so he has something to keep and someone to be. He defines his own edges, his own boundaries. Jakob wrestled with G-d and Jake takes that for himself. He is the lock and key for memories and he takes that. He forms himself into a man, into an experience, into a tool and a vehicle and a weapon. He is himself, and he is nothing. He is a man, and he is no one.

Jumping forward, for a moment, there was a joke in fandom early on about Jake using she/her pronouns. This came from that scene at the end of episode two where Khonshu threatens Marc with making Layla his next avatar, but he says “you may not like my next candidate, near and dear as she is to you.”

And as Khonshu ended up always wanting Jake, some people were like “omg she/her Jake real.” And then as me and other people are wont to do, we took that seriously. I’ve seen a lot of transbian Jake headcanons and similar stuff, and I realized I really liked some kind of gnc aspect for him. It tracks. Gender is a part of identity and self definition, and queerness is contradictory and strange and powerful. So then I headcanon Jake with the following:

—he/him for the man, the boy, the cabbie, the smile

—it/its for the tool, the entity, the weapon, the space he displaces, the cracks in between

—she/her like how you reference a car or a boat, taking power from things he loves and the weight of painted nails pushing a flat cap up, or lipstick under a mustache; gender nonconformity is confusing and not stuck to the binary idea of people and men, and he is not wholly a person, not wholly a man

He is Jake, and his boundaries can’t be defined by anyone else but himself because they are his to control and his to grip with moon-shielded knuckles, to pull back beneath the suit and tie into the practiced Someone he’s chosen to be.

In line with this, through a semi-recent conversation, I realized something else for him. Cars get people from place to place, they’re an escape, the rumbling engine and headlights showing the way, and for the system Jake is their transport. He gets them out, gets them away, pushes them off-road when they have to dodge an obstacle.

And I think there’s something there that really connects, that feels right. Humans anthropomorphize vehicles of all types, see them as a friend and a companion, and isn’t that what he is? I feel like Jake really connects with cars on an identity level, just with what feels right, with what he does, with how he experiences the world and the ways his brain connects with things and people and himself.

So like… in more modern terms, I feel like he might be partly cargender/otherkin for cars as well. He’s not a fully human headmate, and vehicles are something he aligns with, connects to, and loves on a self level. Maybe he’d even be a car in headspace sometimes, stuff like that can happen, and I think it’s an interesting layer to explore for him and his actions and who he is (and can even add an interpretation to the Shiva memory scene of the cab in the background being Jake, being him watching over Marc at the time, hovering in the periphery).

With all of it, with all of him, it is complicated. But she knows, she gets himself. Jake doesn’t need others to understand it, to know why it is the way she is. He just is.

Just Jake.

[substitious-bastard]

just randomly remembered that moss once just- ate a teaspoon of chilli powder?? to prove a point?? like what was that??? idek anymore

[lanayrru]

i rly loved totk don’t get me wrong but ! imagine if the story rly set the stakes and actually committed to them, gave u the chance to actually connect with the sages - ancient ones too - only for it to be taken away to rly cement the gravity of the upheaval. pushing even further, if the roles were reversed and it was zelda on the current end trying to keep what remains of hyrule safe while link fulfills a prophecy as the first hero back in ancient times . . . just a balance of storylines and zelinks’ character arcs between botw and totk. a proper second chance for both of them that doesn’t necessarily prove their fates (and their abuser, in zelda’s case) right . . . yknow?

[mx24]

Snowgrave Spamton...

[firstenchanterorsino]

Neat concept to consider: a Dark Urge origin character could technically regain their memory if they had Regenerate cast on them.

I say could because if someone wanted to be a stickler for wording, it can be validly ruled that Regeneration doesn't apply to internal/organ damage as it specifically only details regrowth of "severed body members". However, also equally valid ruling to say that it would make sense it would recover significant internal damage.

I think it's pretty sensible to say that Regenerate would restore it, as it has been firmly established in-game that the majority of the memories lost for the Dark Urge are explicitly due to physical trauma to the brain. Since Heal is described as having healed a sliver of the permanent damage which then caused immediate memory recollection, safe to say that complete restoration of the brain would come with total or almost total memory recollection.

Which leads to the most interesting character building point of this which is: how would regaining their memories affect the Dark Urge, especially if the identity they developed post-amnesia is fundamentally different from who they originally were? Would the reclamation of memory be processed as gaining their prior sense of identity in some way, or would it get processed more like witnessing the memories of an entirely separate person from their POV?

I think it's only a given that the answers to these questions heavily relies on whatever path the new Dark Urge has chosen, as well as whether or not the Dark Urge still has Bhaal's blood. Even more intriguing character development musings that the fraction of one's Dark Urge interpretation is influenced by where in the timeline memories are regained. Further expanded upon, another question is if the return of their memory would drive the Dark Urge back to the ambitions of their old self or if it would only serve to fuel atonement more than they were already motivated to.

> ur welcome to use this post as a prompt btw

[nohkalikai]

screams

[evvlogetarian]

Feeling a little bit sappy right now but man am I glad that in the past year/almost two yrs I've grown more in2 myself as a person. : ) Liking the shit I like, not rly caring if it's "likeable" or not...I'm sorry I'm just cringe n free!!! Im me!!! Yes I will play my stupid games n draw my ocs. I'll go to my silly conventions n dress up. I'll get all the silly videogame tattoos I want. What abt it

[latinokaeya-moving]

i really really love characters as weapons/instruments/tools for other characters kind of obsessed with what type of connection and deeper level of understanding must come with that kind of relationship i just think it’s really neat

[lampllghter]

tags.

[itisnotdefended]

i keep trying to patch holes that let floods breach my hull. my bones are bending under the pressure of 10,000 leagues.

what's one person to a paragon? what's a sailor to a ship?