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#NOT because he tells everyone who listens that he doesn’t work. he simply.. doesn’t do that. where did that characterization come from
pepprs · 2 years
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currently.
#purrs#what if i was experiencing ordeals so mortifying and horrors so horrible i could not talk about them to anyone in full honesty and truth and#transparency not even the dearest people in my life who love me and actively want to support me and listen to me or my tumblr mutuals who#are literally my bestest friends who live in my phone and in some cases outside of it so instead i locked myself in my rapunzel tower and pr#proceeded to cut off my hair and then cut off my dress and then cut off my brain so it could stop perceiving stimuli and reacting to it#despite wanting to get better and thinking it’s getting better and i couldn’t even tell my therapist because he doesn’t get me but it takes#too long to find a new one and i don’t have time and also my tower was getting renovated and also i was a little bug who was getting.#crushed by giant rain drops falling on my shell and bending my antennae so im dizzy and also it’s as almost midnight and i had to be up at a#work awake in 6 hours and ready to fscilitwtbeblike 3 things but i was screaming and howling and pounding on the floor over the dumbest most#normal sjit in the entire world that i couldn’t tell anybody i was struggling over because it would make everybody in the world blow up and#die and explode. what if i had to communicate the horrors through memes and vague posts every single day and that was all that was truly at#my disposal and everyone thougut i was being weird and standoffish and mean but really i was pulsing hurt like a strobe light every second o#of every day. becaus ei think if all of that was true i would simply go to sleep without doing the dishes and redacted redacted redacted red#redacted. and i wish i could. but i can’t. I’m just a little beetle and the rain drops are so huge. lol#delete later#puslng INCOMMUNICABLE hurt *. like morse code. like fire flies. Because literally… 💡💡💡💡💡#<- girl who has had separation anxiety since the day she was born. but also girl who never texts anyone back. girl who is a hypocrite 🥰
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willow-jade · 1 year
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Gonna be honest, it annoys me (in a casual, not-actually-annoyed, 'he does not say that' way) a tad bit when people write Kaeya INSISTING and verbally trying to convince people that he totally slacks off all the time; every time I can remember, when Paimon accuses him of doing as much, he gives a reassurance about how he's gotten all his work done, is doing something for Jean, is actually on business, wouldn't be here if he wasn't on top of work, delegated to xyz, etc.
He doesn't respond to those allegations by confirming them - at least not to someone who he wants to think highly of him. Maybe it's different when he's trying to bait criminals (we wouldn't know), but to the Traveler, to his coworkers, and very likely foreigners he'd be meeting professionally + common citizens, he denies it. Not aggressively or insistently, but he also doesn't... declare that he neglects his job??
If he ever has in front of us, it was an outlier. The closest I can think of, though, is the voiceline where he calls it comparatively unfun.
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maxlarens · 3 months
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I got a lot to say so it might be long,
starting with, thank you for the Charles smau and the Lando fic <3
it took me time to choose an emoji lol but I've been doing an internship and time goes by way too quickly, but I decided to go for the strawberry one 🍓
and since you said you wanted to write for driver! reader, and that she was very intense about driving, maybe you can write something about her racing while she's sick/not feeling well but she still wins the race
woo hi again!!! literally no big deal! i hope ur internship is going well, it’s awesome that you’re doing one!! but yeah literally real life is always the priority as much as i’d also like to spend all my time on here lol. but anyway yay the strawberry is super cute 🍓🥺
and YES lol driver!reader is consuming my thoughts right now. i have other things i should be writing instead of this but i smashed this out in a few days😭 i decided not to make it a win because i have a thing brewing for driver!readers first win and i didn’t want to use up all my ideas for that. anyway!!! as usual thank u for the ask and pls enjoyyy 🤗
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OP: extraordinary machine
pairing(s): oscar piastri x mercedes driver!reader
summary: you push yourself to your limits. (also sorry i simply don't know enough technical terms about racing for this to be fully accurate but i hope it works)
word count: 3.4k+
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Here is a fact— you’ve got a fever of 39.4 degrees.
Here is another, indisputable fact— you’re racing in Imola today.
The fever had come on overnight after a persistent tickle in your throat all weekend. A mildly sore throat had turned rapidly to a snotty nose, full body chills and sweat pouring off you like you’d just run a marathon. You’re wearing a puffer jacket over your racing suit and it’s twenty-nine degrees out. You feel freezing, you feel delirious, and you’re eating Sour Patch Kids by the handful to keep the sugar rush going. Your race engineer, Rachel, keeps telling you that it’s okay if you can’t race. George can step in, I promise. You keep telling her I’m fine. I’m fine. I can race. But the expression on her face says she doesn’t believe you.
You’re telling practically everyone who’ll listen that you’re getting in that fucking car today. Rachel, George, your mum who keeps calling. Lewis keeps looking at you like you’re about to keel over and die and you want to scream at him you did this! Brazil 2015. You had a fever. You got on the podium. If I can’t do this and you can, what does that mean? But you don’t because that’s your 39.4-degree fever talking and this isn’t about being better than Lewis. It’s about knowing without a doubt that you can still get in that car and race your ass off.
Your phone keeps buzzing with texts from Susie that reassure you that you’d be disappointing no one at all if you had to let George take over this race. You’re not letting down women everywhere and you’re not letting down the team. I know Susie, you keep saying, but I’m still racing.
You know you’ve got to convince Toto when Rachel starts a hurried conversation with George and he starts grabbing his fireproofs like it’s a sure thing he’ll be driving in your place. Bundled up in your coat like it’s the middle of winter, you stomp over to Toto’s office and barge in.
“I’m racing,” you tell him without any preamble.
His head snaps to look at you, expression only mildly surprised— not that you would even notice if you didn’t spend so much time around him. He gives you a once over, eyes lingering pointedly on your jacket and then he raises his eyebrows, “It is twenty-nine degrees outside.”
You suck your teeth in frustration, “I know. The car will be hot. I can race.”
He frowns.
You plead, “Toto. Do not take me out of that car. I can do this.”
He shakes his head, “I can see you sweating from here. You’re not well.”
You shake your head frantically, ignoring how your vision starts spinning, “Let me race. If I fuck up you can put George in the car for Monaco. If I fuck up you can even replace me. I don’t care. Just let me drive today.”
Toto’s face pinches in the way it does when he’s considering something, you can see cogs turning in his head as he evaluates what you’ve said and decides if he should listen to it.
He sighs, “I am not putting that kind of ultimatum on you,” your heart stutters and stops in your chest, and you hold your breath, “Okay. Against my better judgement, I will let you race today.”
You let out an audible breath, it edges out into a sob that makes your aching body curl into itself. You press the heels of your palms into your eyes for a moment to suppress the urge to give in to your fever. It would be easier to give up, it would be easier to let George take your seat for the race so you could crawl into bed and cry the fever out. But none of this has ever been easy for you. You’ve fought tooth and nail to get here, you won’t forfeit a race and let people say you took the easy way out.
You look up. Toto looks concerned.
“Don’t make me regret this.”
“You won’t.”
You practically stumble onto the asphalt before the national anthem, passing your coat off to Rachel while your trainer wipes your forehead with a towel as if you’ve just finished a full-body workout. Your shoulders feel tense, you can’t stand up straight without shuddering so you’re hunched over awkwardly hoping it doesn’t come off looking too strange.
People are still milling about, setting things up while the drivers assemble. You don’t really notice on account of the fever state you’re in, but you end up standing between the McLaren boys. You must brush against Oscar because he looks down at you, eyebrows furrowed, mouth set in a line and his eyes wide like a puppy dog. You get lost in them a little— because of the fever. Definitely.
“Dude,” Oscar says to you, “You’re really hot.”
On your other side, Lando breaks into a fit of laughter. You frown, your brain trying the puzzle through the sentence. You feel foggy, your eyes feel heavy. You need more Sour Patch Kids, or a shot of espresso, or five Red Bulls. Max could swing it for you.
Oscar leans past you and swats at Lando’s shoulder, “She’s burning up, stupid.”
Lando’s laughter pauses, and he says seriously, “Oh shit.”
Suddenly, you’re being twisted around and you’re wincing at the contact on your shoulder that makes it ache even more. Lando puts a hand on your forehead and then immediately rips it away.
“Eugh. You’re sweaty.”
The back of Oscar’s hand replaces it. You twist away, brushing it off.
“You’ve got a fever,” he tells you, his voice thick with concern for you, “Have you told anyone? Does Toto know? Lewis?”
Instead of answering you press a hand over your eyes and crack your neck, trying to work through some of the stiffness in your back. You roll your shoulders and stand up as straight as possible, pushing through that aching, sickly feeling that runs through your whole body. When you finally drag your hand from your face— a thin sheen of sweat coming with it— Oscar is staring at you with a deep-set frown on his mouth. At his shoulder, Lando looks at you with a markedly less severe, but still concerned, expression.
“I’m fine, Oscar,” you insist.
You’re not. He knows you’re not. It doesn’t matter, you don’t want to seem weak. Not barely thirty minutes before the race. You can’t have either of them thinking you’d be easy for an overtake or that you’ll back out of a fight first. Off the track, fine— you’ve been vulnerable and honest with both of them at times. On the track is a different story. This is Formula One. You’re not here to make friends. They are not here to make friends.
“Mm,” Oscar hums, “Pretty sure you’re not.”
“You’re sweating bullets,” Lando adds, “Can see it from here.”
Something white-hot and pissed off flares up your spine. Oscar is not this kind of person, even on track; but the suspicion that he’s just trying to eliminate you as competition rises anyway. You think it because if the situation were flipped, you’d be weighing the pros and cons of having a sick driver on the track. Their weaknesses, what it means if they’re distracted. It doesn’t make you a good person, but you’re already pretty sure you aren’t one.
“I am fine,” you bite.
Oscar’s expression drops. Into something not quite offended… accepting, maybe? Resigned? It closes off to you, is what you mean. That’s fine, you’re trying to close yourself off to him. You’re re-drawing a line that you’ve been crossing without a thought for at least two years now. You’re not here to make googly eyes at Oscar and let him put his hand on your fever-ridden forehead and have him reprimand out-of-line, so-called professionals for you. You’re here to get in that car every Sunday and put your life on the line for a shiny trophy and fucking glory. Even if you’ve got a fever. Even if you’ve got a weird crush on Oscar Piastri.
“I’m racing,” you add in a different tone, feeling as if you’ve been a bit harsh on a well-meaning Oscar, even if you mean what you’re thinking.
Oscar nods, and says, “Okay,” in a way that really means, ‘If you say so, then it is’.
In the car, on the tarmac, sitting in your starting grid position, you’re shitting bricks.
Your cheeks are squeezed tight into your helmet, you can feel sweat, slick and soaking through your balaclava. Your arms hurt, your legs hurt, your ass hurts where it’s pressed into the seat. You’re not crying, but your mouth— hidden away by your helmet— is open like you’re about to. Set into a grimace that you breathe raggedly out of. Toto says something over the radio before the lights go out, you don’t hear it. You’re too busy regretting how earnestly you’d begged him to let you race. It would have been better if George had taken over. It might have been better if you’d passed out during the national anthem so you really had no choice but to sit it out. No one could say you weren’t committed to this sport if that had happened. They’d have plenty to say about women and their weak constitutions though.
You’re on autopilot when the lights go out. One second you’re freaking out like it’s your first time in a car, the next second everything is fading into background noise and you’re fighting a Ferrari and a McLaren for your original grid position. Twenty of you tear down the straight to turn two and you find yourself slotting easily into what you think is P4. Ferrari— not the same one— in front of you. Your mirrors reveal the McLaren behind you. It’s Oscar, you’re sure. You can tell by the way he sticks to your ass. Every nudge of the car you make he makes with you.
You press the radio button, “That Piastri behind?”
Crackle, “Yeah.”
“Knew it. He’s up my butt, Rach.”
“Okay. Go faster then. Not sure what to tell you.”
You make a face. You weren’t looking for sarky advice, you were trying to commiserate. You press the button and make a vaguely mocking neh-neh noise that gets a laugh and then radio silence because you’re supposed to be fucking concentrating. Which, okay, fair.
You press the throttle, done with trying to manage your tyres for the moment and taking Rachel’s comment as permission. You tear away from Oscar, stopping his fight to overtake you through the chicane in its tracks. You start slowly gaining on the Ferrari in front of you, its red rear wing growing closer and closer.
“Sainz in front?” you ask, already knowing the answer.
“Yup,” Rachel confirms before rattling off some lap times when you ask for them.
By lap thirty-something, you’re on Sainz’s ass like Oscar was on yours. You’re fighting him through every chicane, threatening him on the straights and generally behaving in a way that you know for a fact is putting him on edge. But Carlos isn’t giving up P3 without a fight.
A safety car goes out around lap forty, and you pit. Everyone ahead of you does as well. Oscar doesn’t, Oscar is lucky to have gone in earlier. Rachel tells you he’d made up four places after being forced to box for some tyre issue. You feel a strange mix of pride and jealousy swirl in your chest as you all file into a discordant line behind the safety car.
Verstappen leads the pack, as per usual. Then Oscar, Sainz and you. Leclerc is behind you, then Lando. You’re in P4, right where you started and right where you’ve been fucking sitting the entire race so far. twenty-five laps to at least make it onto the podium. Then you’ll be happy. Or not quite happy, you’d need pole for that. Content. You’d be content.
Max starts weaving. The safety car goes off and Max keeps you all ready and waiting until the exact millisecond that he decides the race can properly begin again. You hate when he does this— you know that’s exactly why. Eventually, finally, he gets going.
You have to run defence like crazy for a few laps to keep Leclerc behind you until everything is warmed up. The gap widens as you drive. At some point, you stop worrying about the Monégasque so much and focus your attention on car fifty-five like your life depends on it. The laps fly by as time ticks on. Twenty-five to go, twenty, fifteen, ten. You’re back on Sainz’s rear wheel, a gap of 0.2 to 0.3 that’s been consistent throughout this last stretch of the race. You’re watching him like a hawk, waiting for the smallest slip-up to take advantage of. Somewhere you can push, somewhere he’s weak. It’s hard— he’s covering all his bases. Not giving you an inch so you can’t take a mile.
You’re closing in on sixty-four laps— with only three to go— when he gives you that fucking inch. It’s in the first chicane. His wheel locks up, and he jerks the car slightly the wrong way, something like that. You get in his space and you push and he backs out first. You press down on the throttle and rocket past him, shouting FUCK! FUCK YES! to yourself.
P3. P3. God, you hope it’s P3.
You press the talk button, “Rach?”
“Yes, P3,” she barks, “Fucking, focus. Three laps to go.”
Those last three laps of Imola are some of the hardest of your life. Defending against Carlos is a task, of course, but it’s not even that. The sickness starts to creep back into your awareness as the adrenaline that had hit its peak during the overtake starts to subside. Two laps to go and you’re remembering the fever again. The sweat soaking your hair and streaking down the back of your neck. Your whole body is on fire and it aches everywhere. It feels like someone has taken a sledgehammer to the inside of your skull. You want so badly to close your eyes and drift away to sleep, but the car is flying through the air demanding your attention with the way it thuds against the track. You’ve got one lap to go and Carlos is on you like white on rice. You can’t afford to make a mistake until you’re firmly over that finish line.
So you don’t. You grit your teeth and you refuse.
Carlos is downright reckless in the last chicane, he tries to bait you by moving to one side and pushing but you’re not going to fall for something like that even if you’re near delirious from the 39.4-degree fever. Though surely it’s higher now, the car temp can’t be helping. You hardly realise you’ve crossed the finish line because you’re thinking so hard about how lightheaded you feel. On instinct, you slow down to a safe speed as Oscar’s McLaren enters your vision, but you think your toes have pins and needles and there’s some feeling tingling up into your shoulders. You blink hard and take a long sip of water so you can make it to the pits before your head starts to spin.
Crackle, “Where are you going? That was P3.”
“Huh?” you realise you’re following the other drivers instead of heading into the pits where you’re supposed to go, “Shit. Sorry.”
You edge back as carefully as you can, avoiding other cars that pass by, lucky you’ve not overshot too far so you can turn into the pits and park your car in front of the P3 sign without going around the entire track. That would be embarrassing. Or that would be more embarrassing than how disgusting you’re going to look when you take your helmet and balaclava off.
Toto, Rachel and a few of your engineers are there to meet you at the barricade when you clamber out of the car, unsteady on your feet. Rachel’s eyebrows are furrowed as she tries her best to smile at you, trying to put on a brave face even though you can tell she’s concerned you’re going to keel over. You brace yourself with a hand against the gate and tear your helmet off, then your balaclava. You’ve never been so fast to put a cap on your head, trying to cover the sweaty mess that is your hair right now.
“That was phenomenal work,” Rachel says, reaching to put a hand on your burning hot bicep, “You look fucking terrible, though.”
You suck in a ragged breath and you nod in agreement, trying to keep the black tinging your vision from taking over completely. 
“Get her something to drink,” you hear Toto bark, though it comes to your ears, muffled and staticky.
You’re fine. You’re fine. Until you’re not and your sweaty hand is slipping against the guardrail and your vision is fading into darkness and you’re falling face first into a metal railing. And, and, someone’s got their arm around your middle and you’re not on the ground with your face in the asphalt. You blink, hot tears— from what you assume is exhaustion— burning your eyelids. The arm around your middle is covered in something orange and black… Oscar. It’s Oscar who’s got you propped up, held firm into his body so your legs don’t collapse underneath you. The two of you sway and stumble for a second as you gain your footing back, your vision returning to normal, the buzzing in your ears going away.
“You’re good,” he breathes, “I’ve got you.”
You ignore the shiver that runs down your spine, you attribute it to your current state.
You remember the cameras that are on all of you right now. You try not to look panicked as you step away from him. You try to do it calmly and not frantically like you so want to. Toto has some electrolyte drink held out right in your face and you take it, chugging half of it straight away while you swivel around to face Oscar. You nod, feeling slightly better, but gripping the guardrail tight so as not to repeat earlier.
“Thanks,” you try a smile, but it’s just turning into a grimace because you feel like shit.
Oscar shakes his head, “Don’t mention it.”
“Great driving out there.”
His eyebrow goes up, touching the curl of his hair that peeks out from his cap.
“You’re kidding?” he says, tone laced with amusement.
You frown, which is much easier, “No. You drove great.”
He makes a face like ‘yes, obviously’, but somehow does it in a humble and endearing way that you find you like a little too much. It leaves you confused as to his point.
“No,” he scoffs, “Okay, yes. What I mean is that you just got P3 with a raging fever.”
You purse your lips, countering, “You don’t know I have a fever.”
His tongue darts out to wet his top lip, hiding the small smile that threatens on his face.
He shrugs, “Bit obvious, unfortunately.”
You roll your eyes. You think what he means is it’s a bit obvious because you look like absolute death. There’s probably sweat rolling off you in buckets, your cap is jammed on your head and your hair is probably sticking out at crazy angles. There were dark circles under your eyes before you left for the track this morning, they’re probably ten times worse now. He might also mean it’s obvious from the way your skin is burning hot, like touching a radiator in the middle of winter. Or, perhaps, the way you’d passed out into his arms a few minutes earlier.
You suck your teeth, “Well. I told you I was racing today.”
Oscar nods, biting the inside of his lip, “Yeah. You did.”
There’s more that neither of you are saying. A conversation that you’re trying desperately to have with prolonged eye contact, small little smiles and breaths out through the nose. You think it might be ‘I’m proud of you’ or ‘You’re very impressive and I’m going a little bit crazy about it’. That’s how you feel at least, somewhere in between the fever chills and the urge you’re suppressing to curl into a ball on the tarmac. This is okay, you think. You don’t have to be Oscar’s sworn enemy just because you’re both chasing the win. You can let him worry about you, but make sure he understands he can’t stop you from taking the things that you want. You can say things that mean other things and Oscar can smile at you like it’s something private for just the two of you.
You can be happy with that. Or not quite happy. Content.
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🏎️ song inspo (fiona apple my Beloved) -> https://open.spotify.com/track/5h9Iek7Hp9wayRt7fBp7Ab?si=9PnuH5CDSC-qTurLPGiTwg
💫 fill out this form if you want to be added to my tag list: @clowngirlsstuff @leclercsluvs @c-losur3 @mael1pastry @papayamusha @mvk1ma
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bonny-kookoo · 8 months
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Jungkook
Princess | Intro/ Part 01
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There's more to it than what meets the eye.
Tags/Warnings: Wolfdog Hybrid!Jungkook, Showdog Hybrid!Reader, Enemies to lovers, Angst, Fluff?, Brat!Reader, Jungkook has major brat tamer energy, reader has some issues, mentions of depression
Length: 6.5k Words
-> Masterlist
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Jungkook hates loosing.
And that’s especially true when it comes to bets- because he also can’t really pass up any opportunity to show off and be the best at something. So when he took on the bet with Jimin, he didn’t think anything of it- after all, even if he lost, he could still simply teach that so-called ‘puppy’ Jimin was supposed to be working with a killer choreo and make his way on top either way.
What Jimin failed to tell him, however, was that you are an absolute menace.
Not only are you spoiled to high heavens and dressed head to toe in pretty designer pieces designed and tailored just for you, no- your attitude is making him want to throw himself into a busy road to be run over by any moving vehicle willing to do so. It’s been not even thirty minutes he’s spent in the meeting room, and he already regrets his big mouth with Jimin.
But maybe it’s just a bad first impression. Maybe, you’re just having a bad day.
“So, basically, we’ve got four weeks to make it work.” Your manager says, having finished his plan as he stands at the end of the table everyone is sitting at, you included- though you clearly do not listen to the conversations happening at all, instead occupied with a game on your switch console, decorated in plastic gemstones and cute stickers, sound not even all the way down as to not interrupt anyone.
Jungkook feels his blood boiling. Can’t you at least attempt to listen? After all, it’s your career that’s on the line.
“I’ll need the possible song choices she made, and I also gotta get a copy of the guidelines and what the judges generally look for. Doesn’t have to be today, but I’d like to have it before we start making anything up.” Jungkook offers, arms crossed. You’ve not even looked at him once today.
If he just went by looks, you’d actually be quite cute- you're clearly taking good care of yourself, and you fall right into the category of hybrid girl he’d see himself interested in- but your character seems to be the exact opposite, as you stare down at the small screen in your hands, lashes long, hiding your gaze a little from him.
“We can totally do that.” Your manager says. “I- uhm.. Are you okay with that too?” He asks towards you, and you simply take in a deep breath before you sigh, shoulders shrugging and head somewhat nodding. Your eyes however never break away from your game, instead, you just adjust your seating postition a little before you become completely detached from the situation again. “I’m sorry about that. She’s.. Having a bad day.” Your manager justifies.
Jungkook smells the lie right away.
“Practice will start at 7 AM then-” Jungkook starts, and that seems to catch your attention as your face turns into a frown. “-And we’ll practice the whole week, except weekends.”
“That’s too early.” You mumble, grumbling down at your game while your legs stretch out under the table, feet brushing against his shins. You’re not wearing shoes, only your knee-high socks, having discarded the slip on’s early on for no apparent reason other than comfort.
“She usually sleeps until.. 11 so..” Your manager starts, and Jungkook has to swallow a growl.
“8.” He says sternly, staring at you who scoffs down at your hands. “She’ll have to get up earlier then.” He decides, making you lift your chin a little, before you save your game, turn off the console and put it on the table, your arms now crossed as well as you finally, for the first time, look at him.
The fire in your eyes could seriously burn someone if it was to be manifested into a real flame, he decides.
“You’ll have to wait until I show up then.” You answer him, and his eyes narrow, feeling challenged. But before he can respond, your manager seems to sense the growing tension between you two, as he dissolves the meeting quickly to have you driven back home.
Jungkook however, can’t let go this easily.
“You forgot to tell me that she’s an absolute bitch.” Jungkook growls into his phone, sitting on his couch with the TV on but on mute. “There’s no way I’ll be working with her for four weeks without committing a crime.” He threatens, and Jimin has the audacity to laugh.
“Oh Jungkookie, don’t let her fool you!” He laughs. “She’s a literal angel, believe me. She just acts all tough.”
“Or she was just interested in you.” Jungkook denies. “I’ve spent barely an hour with her and I already know She’s gonna be a handful to manage.” He sighs.
“Come on now, she’s what? Half your size?” Jimin playfully exaggerates. “Just put her in timeout, big guy, and you’ll be fine.” He jokes, very much aware of Jungkook’s rather dominant nature due to his wolfblood. And while the joke is funny, it’s also a problem.
Jungkook doesn’t know if he can really stay calm while working with you. And his career could be over in a second if he so much as lashes out at you verbally- because no way would someone work with a hybrid choreograph or dancer who can’t keep his cool. He already has issues getting some gigs due to his wolfblood mixed in- one mistake and he can surely put his career to rest.
He really regrets taking on this bet now.
Hopefully this won’t end too badly.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
You really do not turn up at 8 like he told you to.
He’s impatiently waiting in the practice room, your manager and stylist and other staff already present- everyone trying to get a hold of you with no luck at all. It’s only until an hour later that another staff member informs everyone that you’ve finally woken up, and that you’re currently on your way to the practice room.
Jungkook is pissed, to say the least.
If you work like this the entire four weeks, there’s no way he can manage to push a good choreography into your head that you can pull off properly on stage. And if you fail, it’ll be on him- and he just can’t accept that. Hopefully, you’ll warm up to the idea of actually putting effort into this.
Hopefully.
When you finally turn up, you don’t appear to be sorry at all- still somewhat asleep and in no way ready to start practicing anytime soon. Instead, you sit down and take out your breakfast to eat, while your stylist runs a brush through your hair. But what’s odd about this, is more or less that Jungkook can sense a total shift in energy right now.
It’s like they’re shielding you, giving him no access to you until they deem the timing alright.
And you just robotically eat your little breakfast, while everyone else scatters around you, rushing from spot to spot. Jungkook isn’t too sure what exactly might be happening- but then again, it’s also not unusual to see such a scene. You’re a showhybrid after all- meant to look pretty at all times and in every living moment just in case there’s a camera around. And he knows that the practice is going to be filmed occasionally for some behind the scenes content for your fanbase- which is why you have your stylist around in the first place. You’re just supposed to look like you’re not wearing any makeup at all.
No one wants to see reality, because reality is what everyone can witness if they look in the mirror. And that’s boring. That’s not entertaining. That’s not something to be jealous of, or something to admire.
In a way, Jungkook starts to feel a bit sorry for you. Do you ever have a moment for yourself?
Either way, the moment the cameras start running, you switch character almost instantly. Suddenly you’re polite, soft spoken and determined to get every step right- though your true nature does poke it’s head through on occasion, especially when you can’t get something quite right the first or second try.
“Maybe we need to work on how to keep to the beat first.” Jungkook suggests, and at that, you seem to break, sighing with an agitated groan as your tail unravels, falling limp behind you. He’s not seen this happen often- his best friend Yoongi being a dog-hybrid with a curled tail as well, who can be quite grumpy most of the time. But even he never has his tail this.. Lifeless.
It’s unnerving to see.
“I’m not lobotomized, mutt.” You groan, making the manager motion to cut the cameras for a second. “I can keep to a beat, you’re just shit at teaching.” You growl to yourself, sitting down stubbornly as you visibly try and mask the fact that you’re out of breath.
Truth be told, Jungkook isn’t technically a choreographer. He usually works with professional dancers or simply follows whatever he’s given by an artist themselves- so yes, he might actually be a little rusty when it comes to teaching others.
Do you have to be so rude about it though? No.
“Well we’re going around in circles like this.” Jungkook shakes his head. “I’ll get us something to drink. Try and calm down a bit..” He attempts to soothe your temper, as he leaves the practice room- mostly so that he himself can escape the situation for a moment.
He’s not sure what it is. Maybe your scent full of anger and fear filling the space so much that it feels like it’s drowning him in the room, or the fact that you always have to be so rude-
Wait.
Fear?
Alarmed by that, Jungkook walks a bit faster with the water bottles in hand to get back into the room- just to find you not there anymore, everyone looking at him as if they’re surprised to see him back already. “Where is she?” Jungkook asks, and your manager blinks a little, caught off guard.
“She went to get something to drink.” He states, making Jungkook frown.
“I said I’m gonna get us some. Why did she go by herself?” Jungkook asks. “She doesn’t even know where the vending machines are.”
“She said you were taking too long.” A stylist mentions. Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose.
“I was gone for not even five minutes?” He growls to himself, before he hears you enter the room again, a small juicebox in hand that you punch the tiny straw into. “Don’t just run off.” He scolds you.
You roll your eyes.
“Yeah alright, Daddy.” You scoff, walking past him to sit in a corner- actually facing it for some reason, your back turned towards everyone else.
“Ah, don’t be alarmed.” Your manager explains. “She.. Sometimes does this. We don’t know either why, and we don’t really question it either. Give her a few minutes and she’ll be right back to practice.” He beams at him, and Jungkook feels weirdly played.
Something’s odd here.
But it’s also none of his business.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
The next day, you’re not there on time again.
And despite the fact that Jungkook had told you no food in the practice room was allowed, you clearly disregarded that as nothing but background noise, while you take out your bag of foods in the middle of the large room.
“I said no food in the practice room.” Jungkook scolds, walking towards you to stand right in front of you, arms crossed. “and you’re also late again. Two hours to be exact.”
“You said no food.” You shrug, lifting up the small bag of puffed rice crisps. “That’s snacks.” You respond, making him narrow his eyes and clench his jaw.
“put it to the side.” He says. “You’re here to practice, not to eat.” He reminds you, able to talk freely with almost none of your staff around today.
“can’t practice on an empty stomach.” You respond however, letting yourself fall into your bag, before you take out your phone to scroll on it while you eat your snacks- crumbs already littering the floor. “Why’s your wifi so shit in here?” You mumble to yourself, when suddenly, the signal stops entirely. “Hey, your internet cut off-“ you start, before you spot him putting his phone down. “Turn it back on-“
“Since you’re acting like a brat, I’ll treat you like one.” He simply says. “wifi stays off until you practiced.” He scolds, boldly taking both your snacks and your phone from you to put it on a table close by, the act alone catching you so off guard that it has you frozen in place while you process it. “Do you want to get up yourself or do I need to help you with that as well?” He asks, and you glare at him.
“Touch me and I’ll sue you.” You threaten, and he watches you for a moment as if to see if you’re serious- before he decides you’re clearly not, with the way your tail slightly twitches, clearly needing to be consciously held down by yourself to not wag.
“Alright that’s it.” He simply tells you before he walks towards you, and much to his dismay, you let yourself fall limply down onto the ground as if you’re trying to become liquid. “You’re being ridiculous right now-“
“let me have the wifi again!” You just huff. “and my snacks. I’m hungry.” You argue.
“get up earlier tomorrow and have breakfast then.” He shakes his head, before he grabs your wrists to lift you into a sitting position. But the moment he lets go, you’ve flopped back down again, lips twitching.
Now your tail is wagging, clearly.
“so that’s what you’re after, huh?” Jungkook clicks his tongue. “too bad. I’m not playing your game.” He says, before he walks to the side where all his stuff is, changing his shoes.
“wait- What’re you doing?” You ask, watching him tie his sneakers.
“going home.” He answers without looking. “were clearly not getting anywhere.”
You sigh, groaning out lout before you angrily hit the floor-
Getting up to walk towards him, pulling his jacket from his hands before you let it fall onto the table. “I wanna practice.” You pout.
“What a bummer, princess.” He answers, taking his jacket back to slip it on. “I don’t. Now get your stuff, and then-“ He tells you, walking closer before he points to the door behind you. “-get out.” He demands.
And you just angrily huff at yourself, doing just that.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
You fail to get to practice on time again the day after.
And the day after that.
But on friday, Jungkook has finally had enough of your poor excuses and frankly stupid behavior.
"Why is she late this time?" Jungkook asks your staff, jaw clenched as he's already frustrated again. You're clearly not taking this seriously, and he honestly doesn't know how anyone else has ever managed to work with you in any way.
"We're.. not sure." Your manager says, face showing his own shame about your behavior. "She turned her phone off, we can't reach her."
That's it.
Jungkook can understand a lot of things. You're used to being spoiled and having everything set in front of you on a silver platter- he gets that. Sometimes, people's minds can be poisoned by wealth and success. But turning off your phone? That's too far.
What if something actually happened? What if you're sick, in need of help, in danger? This is absolutely ridiculous behaviour, and he does not care anymore. "She said she lives in the city here, right?" Jungkook asks, and the manager nods. "Alright, where exactly?" He wonders, and a stylist of yours calls out your address.
And that sets him off even further- because you barely live ten minutes away from him. Which means there's not even a single reason as to why you would be late at all.
"What are you going to do?" Your manager worries as Jungkook changes his shoes and slips on his jacket, grabbing the keys to his motorcycle.
"I'm getting her myself."
If there’s one thing Jungkook hates, then it’s people isolating themselves just for their own convenience. It’s mainly due to his best friend years back doing that constantly- turning off his phone to get some quiet time for himself, until he actually did end up being in trouble.
And when someone tried to call him, and couldn’t get a hold of him, they just thought ‘It’s probably one of those days again.’
If Jungkook didn’t go against his better judgement, if he didn’t end up checking up on him despite his mind telling him that it was for nothing, Yoongi would not be alive today.
He rings your doorbell multiple times, annoyingly so to get you to stand up at some point. There’s no way you can sleep through that, especially when he starts angrily knocking onto your door. Suddenly, you open it, staring at him with eyes barely open. “What.” You ask, and Jungkook takes a look at you for a second.
You’ve clearly been asleep, but you don’t look rested at all- eyes barely open as you glare at him, and funnily enough, one of your ears is even a bit floppy- not quite entirely down, but also no standing as straight as it usually does. “You’re late.” Jungkook scolds. You attempt to close the door again, making him attempt something dangerous.
He puts his hand in between the door.
But, maybe Jimin wasn’t so wrong after all, because you immediately open the door again, now wide awake as you look at his hand, worried you might’ve hurt him. Only when you don’t find anything you push his palm back towards him, and cross you arms.
“Come on.” He says, nodding towards the hallway behind him.
“No.” You deny.
“What do you mean, no?’ he asks, agitated.
“I said no. I don’t wanna.” You answer, walking back into your apartment- and with your door left open, he takes it as an invitation to walk inside.
The second he closes the door and turns around, he’s in shock.
Cardboard boxes, trash bags, crumpled papers and wrappings all over the place. Shoes litter the entrance area, your coats are thrown over the chairs at your open kitchen which sink is filled with unwashed dishes. The windows are shut, curtains heavy as they hide the mess in your home from the outside world. It’s so dark that Jungkook feels like if he wasn’t a hybrid, he most likely wouldn’t be able to see where he’s stepping at all.
How long have you been living like this?
The apartment isn’t big, there doesn’t seem to be many rooms at all. After searching for a bit he finds you curled up in your large bed, pink bedsheets and blankets halfway on the floor while your little gaming console chimes and beeps while you play.
“..come on now, you’ve.. got the weekend off.” Jungkook says. “it’s just today-“
“I said I don’t want to.” You growl, face focused on your game. “now fuck off and leave me.”
Jungkook sighs. This really isn’t any of his business.
But somehow, as he walks back into the main area of the small apartment, he finds himself opening a new trashbag to throw away all the plastic strewn around. He puts your shoes in order, places the garbage bags in a corner to have them out the way, before he rips the cardboard apart to throw away easier later. He’s not sure why he’s doing that- maybe partially to annoy you and get you to get out of bed, or maybe because he pities you.
This isn’t just laziness. From the way you act, to the body language you scream out quietly, to the fact that you don’t seem motivated for anything at all.
This is something deeper.
“What’re you doing?” You growl from a corner, before you walk closer to rip the cardboard box from his hands, throwing it in a corner again. “I told you to fuck off.” You threaten, and he nods.
“heard it loud and clear.” He agrees with crossed arms, and you huff.
“Ears seem to be working then.” You snap. “the mistake must be in your brain.”
“I can assure you it’s working just fine as well.” He answers, and you snarl at that, distinctive canines showing.
“Then why are you still here digging through my shit?!” You bark at him, and he shrugs.
“Because no one deserves to rot away like this.”
It’s quiet at that, for a good moment. The only sound heard is the clock in the kitchen ticking, some faint rain against the windows, and a garbage bag slowly slipping a little from its position. And when it falls to the floor, he catches a short second of your eyes tearing up, before you turn around, looking away from him before you run off into your bedroom-
But the door won’t close with all the clutter, making you angrily growl at it while you try and somewhat pull it close.
Jungkook slowly walks towards you, to pull your hands off of the door handle, making you drop down to the floor in defeat, sitting right on your clothes that are laying on the floor. “leave me alone.” You cry to yourself, head low and hybrid ears even lower as you sit there, kicking away some of the clutter.
The wolfdog hybrid slowly squats down to your level, before he carefully moves a broken jar away from your leg and onto a small table close by. “What’s going on with you?” He finally asks, and you kick your leg again at that, a small box flying through the room.
“I just want to be alone!” You bark. “I don’t want anyone in here, I don’t want to go to practice, I don’t want to do this stupid contest, I don’t want anyone to look at me!” You complain loudly, and Jungkook would easily call this a textbook temper tantrum, if it wasn’t for your clearly desperate tears.
“did you tell your management?” He asks, and you scoff, sniffling.
“as if they care!” You huff. “it’s always just do this, do that, go here, eat that, smile, be nice, film everything.!” You tell him. “I want to go home!” You begin to cry now, hiding your face in your hands.
“Home?” Jungkook wonders, unsure what you mean. Isn’t this your home?
“I just wanna go home..” you continue to cry into your hands. “I wanna go see mom, and dad..” you mumble muffled into your palms, and Jungkook feels terrible seeing you like this. He doesn’t know you, but something is clearly not right. This isn’t acting, because your body language, your scent- everything tells him that you’re in genuine distress.
“Maybe you can visit them?” He wonders, slowly reaching out to put his hand on your knee, offering silent comfort that you, for now, seem to accept. “do they live far away-“
“they won’t let me.” You say. “they told them.. they told them I don’t wanna see them and that I hate them, and now they hate me.” You whimper.
“They?” the wolfdog asks, pushing some clutter to the side to sit down as well.
“the company.” You mumble. “because.. my dad didn’t want me to move away back when.. when I was still a pup.” You say. A pup possibly meaning that you were still underage. “and.. back then, I thought it was for the best. This was such a one-in-a-million chance..” you reveal to him. “I thought it was worth it.”
“Do they threaten you?” Jungkook worries, and you’re quiet for a moment.
“..They’re all I have.” You admit. “my.. my apartment. My money. My name. They own me.” You say, defeat evident in your voice as you slowly calm down again, tension leaving your body. “just.. leave me alone.”
“I cant.” Jungkook denies with a sigh. “not anymore.”
“fuck off-“ you start, grabbing at his hand, but he somehow moves it around, holding yours now instead.
“I won’t.” He sternly says. “Alright? I don’t know how, but I’ll figure something out.” He promises, and you look up at him with slightly red eyes, confused.
“Figure out what?” You ask, and he smiles.
“How to bring you home.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
You’re very clearly not very happy about Jungkook currently cleaning your apartment with you.
You’re slow and sluggish, and you constantly complain about everything- and Jungkook can somewhat understand it. You’ve quite literally buried yourself in this little cave, having someone take it apart like this must be horribly uncomfortable. But it’s for the best- and you’ll soon realize that.
That doesn’t mean you don’t annoy him, still.
“Come on now, get up.” Jungkook scolds you, as he watches you sit on the couch.
“What?” You complain. “I’m cleaning.. under the coffee table.” You pretend, but he doesn’t take that as an appropriate answer.
“We agreed on one area at a time. We’re still in the kitchen.” He says. “now get over here and help me with the dishes. I wash, you dry.” He decides, making you somewhat reluctantly get up. It’s odd to have anyone in your apartment at all, since not even staff is allowed inside- you constantly find and make up excuses to keep them out at all times. This is your only safe space, after all.
The only place no one is looking at you.
“yesterday..” jungkook slowly says, putting another plate towards you so you can dry it. “..you said that the company owns you.” He remembers, and you nod. “To what degree?”
“I have an independence license.” You say. An independence license is basically a permanent permit to live on your own, and also work on your own. Basically, with it, you don’t need an owner at all. “But.. the company has full control over my finances and such. And they own my, you know, brand name.” You shrug.
“I meant it, you know?” He tells you, draining the sink of the soapy water. “I’ll try and figure something out.”
“Don’t bother.” You simply say. “it doesn’t matter.”
“It does.” Jungkook denies, drying his hands on a towel. But you stay silent as you put the dishes away in their proper places, not really sparing him any glance at all again.
Jungkook doesn’t really know yet how to help you. First, he wants to somehow get into contact with your parents and set things right again- maybe he can get their names and phone number from jimin who’s been working you for a good while now. And then, maybe they can help, too.
“I’m tired.” You complain as you sit down on the now finally somewhat clean floor, all the trash in bags and in a corner.
“You can take a nap.” Jungkook agrees, and you look at him with positive surprise.
“wait, really?!” You ask, tail wagging a little.
“sure. You’ve been working hard.” He approves. “and now that your couch isn’t cluttered, you can take a proper nap there.”
“Why not my bed?” You whine, disappointed.
“bed is for proper sleep. Couch is for naps.” He explains. “if you go to bed now you’ll just start rotting again.”
You stay quiet for a good moment, before you speak again, looking out the windows, curtains by now pulled open. Slowly, you walk over to the couch to sit down on, staring at your hands in your lap.
“I’m such a fuck up, am I not?” You sigh. “imagine if people knew how much of a failure I am.”
“You’re not a failure.” Jungkook denies, sitting down next to you on the couch. “just.. a bit lost at the moment.”
“Jungkook..” you say quietly, looking at his chest. “I really want to go home.” You admit, and he smiles softly.
“I know. And I’ll figure out a way, promise.” He offers, opening his arms. And much to his surprise, you take the invitation- even so much as to crawl onto his lap, leaning against his chest with your arms wrapped around him. It’s a lot more than he thought this was going to be, but he also can’t deny that this feels oddly comforting for him too.
And even though your tail is still limp and lifeless, at least you’re starting to open up. And maybe jimin was right after all.
Maybe you’re just acting tough.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
Jungkook quickly learns that you really must’ve left home at a very young age- because you’re very much completely lost in translation when it comes to general tasks that fall onto someone when they live alone.
You’ve got no idea how to properly do laundry, you don’t know how to cook at all, and you have no idea what cleaning products to use for what. When he asked you if you had some window cleaner, you’d stared at him for a good second before you asked him why he can’t just use soap- and cooking in your book is simply boiling water for instant noodles.
It’s no wonder your apartment was in the state it was in. No one ever taught you how to look after yourself and your own home.
“Alright?” Jungkook asks while you stare at the washing machine with a determined gaze.
“put the clothes in, put the soap-squishy-thing in, close the door and then set it to that program there.” You repeat. Jungkook nods.
“But-?” He presses, and you stare at him for a second, thinking.
“But...uh..” you try and find an answer. “no colored stuff with white clothes? And no black with colors?” You try, and he grins, tail wagging.
“Good girl. See? You’re not dumb, you just didn’t know.” He praises. “now press start and then we can go laze around a little until it’s done.” He says, making you happily press the start button.
Something that Jungkook has noticed, is that the entire apartment seems oddly.. sterile almost, in that it looks and feels taken straight out of a magazine. You’ve got no thing personal it seems like, no blankets that aren’t a neutral color, no toys, no plushies despite you telling him by now that you love these things. Instead, you only really have your little gaming console and that’s it- your bedroom is mostly taken over by designer clothes and shoes, as well as all sorts of accessories. The bathroom contains shelves full of skincare for face and body, but everything else appears to be not at all to be your personality.
“You can get yourself some new blankets for the couch now that we’ve cleaned up.” Jungkook mentions, but at that you simply begin to pout next to him, legs pulled close to you as you slide down a little, slouching.
“Nah, they’ll say no.” You huff, watching the TV commercial play.
So you really meant it when you said that the company has full control over your money. He believed it might just involve big spendings, which would make sense- but it looks like it more so involves every single purchase you make instead.
“How long is your contract?” He asks, and you shrug.
“I think forever.” You say, flopping to the side, legs hanging off to the floor. “I don’t know.”
“Thats.. not legal.” Jungkook frowns. “did you never renew it?”
“Huh?” Your ears tilt towards him for a second. He still wonders why one of your ears is floppy these days. “..no. I don’t think I ever did.”
“I.. how long have you been with them?” He asks, and you hold your hands in front of you to start counting. And the more fingers you seem to add, the more concerned he becomes.
“Well, I uh.. wait, I left when I was..” you mumble to yourself. “and now that I’m.. I think eleven years?” You answer, looking at him.
The maximum contract length for hybrids is five years.
Five.
“I.. okay, can you do me a favor?” He asks, and you nod, slowly sitting up. “next time you’re at your company’s HQ, try and get a hold of a copy of your contract. But don’t tell anyone what you need it for.” He says.
If he can get a copy of whatever slave contract you’re under, getting you out of it will be easy. There’s strict laws for hybrids in place after all- one can’t just work them like pets, there’s rules every company has to follow. And that is the same in your industry as well.
“am I gonna go to jail?” You ask, and Jungkook shakes his head.
“No no, you did nothing wrong.” He denies, reaching out to pet your head- pleasantly surprised when you visibly accept the gesture.
Because he speaks the truth. You did nothing wrong.
You were simply used from the start.
♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥
On Monday, jungkook is standing at your door, 7 AM.
And you really, really do not want to go with him.
“Come on now-“ he urges again, pulling on your fluffy sweater while you cling to the doorframe of your apartment building entrance, having just seen what exactly Jungkook uses as his preferred means of transportation.
“No, you’re not getting me on that death-trap, no way in hell!” You complain, escaping his grasp just for a second before his arms are around your middle, easily removing your fingers from the door with a smile sent towards the security guard as reassurance, before he carries your struggling body towards his Harley. “No!” You complain. “This is kidnapping! Abduction!” You cry out, before he puts the helmet he’d gotten recently on your head, hands fastening the strap beneath your chin before he gets onto the motorcycle as well, sitting in front of you.
And the second it roars to life, you’re clinging to him with arms and legs involved, resulting in Jungkook adjusting your grip a little to not strangle him.
Well- at least he’s not driving fast.
“I hate you.” You complain when he removes the helmet again in the underground parking lot beneath the dance studio, pupils still blown wide, cheeks a bit flushed.
“If you just got up yourself like a big girl, I wouldn’t have to drive you.” He easily tells you, helping you down from the vehicle. “we’ll do this again and again until you learn.” He explains, stepping into the elevator with you- still lowly growling to yourself, pissed off at his attitude.
You’re not a kid. He’s stupid.
But it does work, because at least you somewhat practice with him for a few hours, before you stubbornly lay down starfish style in the middle of the practice room, demanding a break- one he grants for once, even if it’s just ten minutes.
“I really don’t wanna go to that contest.” You huff, half of your face squished against the shiny floorboards. Jungkook slowly walks towards you, squatting down to flick his finger against one of your ears that’s again, a little floppy today.
“I know.” He answers, because he does still remember your outburst, devastating cries edged into his mind.
“Hey Jungkook?” you ask, as he absent-mindedly rubs your ear between his fingers, almost enchanted by the softness of it.
“Yeah?” He answers, noticing the way you clearly enjoy such a simple touch to the fullest. You’re constantly surrounded by people, and yet it’s clear that you’re touch-starved and just treated like a doll and nothing else. How lonely must you have been until now?
“Do you have a girlfriend?” You ask. “or a boyfriend?” You wonder, leaning into his hand with closed eyes.
“No.” He answers, unsure and most of all suspicious.
“nice.” You smile, tail wagging softly. “I’m your girlfriend then.” You decide, and he freezes.
“...what?” He asks, sitting down now, a water bottle next to his crossed legs. “You can’t.. that’s not how it works.” He explains, but you shrug.
“My mom and my dad didn’t like each other either.” You reply, staring at nothing ahead, chin on your hands. “they just.. got together out of convenience. Cause they were the same hybrid breed, and I guess didn’t have anyone else at the time.” You mumble. “love isn’t real anyways. I’m pretty- isn’t that enough for you to like me?” You ask, turning your head to look at him with a gaze so.. detached that it makes him feel pity.
Is that your view on the world around you?
“You are pretty.” He responds. “but that’s not a foundation for.. a relationship.” He shakes his head.
“I don’t mind that you’re a mix.” You shrug. “you’re handsome, I’m pretty, and I have money.” You say. “if we get together thousands will flock to your dance studio. You’ll be super successful. “ You propose to him. “doesn’t even have to be for long. You can just.. I don’t know. Spend some time with me until you get bored, and then move on.”
“No.” He denies again. You frown.
“Huh.” You huff, slowly sitting up. “whatever then, I guess.”
“Do you even like me?” he asks you, confused, and you shrug before nodding.
“You’re nice. A bit stick-up-you-ass, but overall nice.” You offer.
Jungkook just watches you for a second, in full disbelief at what had been done to you. Raised in a place of luxury, with a golden spoon in your mouth and lies fed daily to create the view you have on everything around you right now. No kindness without some ulterior motive fits your reality. Everything has to be convenient for everyone involved.
“I don’t want a relationship without love, no matter what I might gain from it.” He explains himself, and you roll your eyes, before you flop onto your back, arms crossed again as you sulk. “You shouldn’t settle for less either.”
“Yeah well I wont get that.” You answer. “no one wants me. They want.. her.” You say, while twirling the silver name tag from around your neck in your fingers.
Until he leans over you, body entirely covering yours for a second, causing you to become nervous and wide eyed at his bold move. He’s looking at your neck, and you’re sure he must’ve realized what’s in it for him- after all, everyone is out for something to gain.
His hands move around your neck, fingers warm. You close your eyes as his face draws closer, awaiting the inevitable.
When suddenly, the collar around your neck is undone, and pulled off your neck.
“what-“ you ask, eyes open again as you watch him still above you, now looking into your eyes, and no longer anywhere else.
“I don’t want her.” He says, referring to the name on the tag around your neck that’s now in his hand, pushed into the floorboards where he holds himself up.
“But I’d like to get to know you instead.”
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wri0thesley · 1 year
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lion tamer - jing yuan x reader (12.4k)
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it's taken for granted you'll take the job that nobody else wants, whilst the general is indisposed. you just didn't expect things to turn out like this.
cw: not sfw, minors dni. chubby reader. reader is afab but no gendered terms are used. descriptions of raw meat (animals eating), food, pining, fingering, cunnilingus, coming inside. pet names including little bird, darling, little thing. reader is implied to be shorter than jing yuan.
This was a commissioned work.
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It’s a quiet whisper, at first - gossip among the lower-downs of the Luofu. You hear it on the fringes and the edges, but you dismiss it as really none of your business; you’re already working harder than most everyone else thanks to the small matter of your far shorter lifespan, and you don’t intend to set yourself back by listening to idle gossip. You have other things to concentrate on; the busywork that you’ve been assigned to as a junior (very junior) member of the Seat of Divine Foresight. 
Really, though they call you a ‘non-administrative support specialist’, you know what you really are; a general dogsbody, somebody to pick up all of the pieces that others sweep by. Still; just getting a position here means you’ve outdone most people, and you hold in your heart the idea that you could get even further up this ladder of success if you simply tried hard enough. You’ve heard tell that even some of the long-life species haven’t managed to make it as far as actually working within the Seat itself, so really . . . you can’t help but feel a little proud of yourself. 
Which is why you choose to ignore the swirling rumour about your esteemed Arbiter-General until you’re called into a meeting with Yong Hai himself. 
(The General is sick, the rumours say. The General may not last another day. The General’s laziness has caught up with him, the General may not make it, and what will we all do then--)
“So,” Yong Hai says, all business. “You’ve probably heard about it already.”
There’s a flare of disquiet in your gut; that the gossip and the rumours you’ve been so steadfastly avoiding are true. You don’t know what the Luofu would do with General Jing Yuan; you cannot imagine the ship and the world without him, when he has been such a stolid presence - and the way that the general public will react doesn’t bear thinking about--
“Stop that,” Yong Hai says, with an amused look in his eye even as he fights to keep his mouth in a firm, commanding line. “It’s not as bad as people are saying. The General has simply . . . contracted something that he isn’t bouncing back as quickly from as we’d hoped. We’ve had to send him off to the Alchemy Commission for a few days, just to see if we can work out how to help . . .” The secretary catches himself, clearly remembering he’s talking to someone who amounts to little more than custodial staff. He coughs. “Anyway. It’s left us in a bit of a conundrum, and after some discussion, we think you’re qualified to handle it.”
You tilt your head to the side as you try and think what you could possibly do to assist in this matter.
You’re no healer; you’re no nurse. You can’t help them figure out how to cure the General, you’re not equipped to sit at his bedside and mop his feverish brow (your cheeks go hot and your face burns at the very thought of it). You certainly can’t take over any of Jing Yuan’s actual duties. The idea of you as any kind of military strategist is laughable--
“How can I help, Sir?” You ask, partly because that is what’s expected of you and partly because you really have no idea what use you’ll be in the situation. 
“Ah,” he says, and then he coughs again - he looks into the corner of the room, as if he’s begging someone to help him, and you remember that he and his sister are most often found together. But here, it’s just the two of you, and he has nobody to help him to break whatever news he’s going to break to you. You hope it’s not going to involve cleaning up a sick-room; you’re really not good with that kind of thing--
“We need somebody to tend to his home affairs,” Yong Hai says, eventually. “He . . . Ah, look, I’m going to come out and say it. General Jing Yuan has a penchant for taking in stray animals and the like, and he only even agreed to let himself be looked at on the caveat we had to promise to find someone to look after them.”
You think of the statues of lions that decorate the place, and you feel a trickle of cold sweat down the back of your spine. You hope desperately that the secretary isn’t implying that you’re about to quite literally be fed to the lions--
“Stop looking like that!” He says, exasperated. “All of them are perfectly tame, and you’ll be in no danger. He has a . . . lion that he’s incredibly fond of. Several birds. And . . . ah,” he looks embarrassed again. “He’s informed us he usually leaves out a veritable feast for any other neighbourhood strays on his balcony, and he was very worried that they weren’t going to be properly nourished whilst he was away.”
Finches. You can do that. Neighbourhood strays - cats and dogs, you suppose - are all very well. But the lion . . .
That doesn’t matter. Yong Hai seems to have reached the end of his meeting with you, to his tangible relief. He’s already bustling about his desk and looking longingly towards the closed door. 
“A new schedule’s been drawn up for you and sent to you already,” he says. “All of the relevant information should be in the attachments! Have fun, won’t you? The General is so very fond of his pets, you see--”
Your phone beeps as if it is punctuating his point; the secretary beams at you, and you get the distinct impression you are being told to put your best foot forward and roll with the punches. ‘Get on with it’, as someone without any manners might say. 
“Understood,” you say, and you force yourself to smile and look on the bright side of things even if you’re sure you’re going to have nightmares about being eaten alive by a lion tonight. This is a post that the General wanted filled personally! This is almost as personal as someone can get to the General, actually; it appears you’ll be working in his actual home! It’s a . . . a step up! A stepping stone!
You force yourself to ignore that it is actually very much a case of sticking the lowest ranked person (and someone well-known for taking on as much as they can with cheerful aplomb, due to your fear of ever really saying ‘no’) onto the job that nobody else wants to do. 
“I’ll do my best,” you say, and Yong Hai beams at you even as he gestures for you to go and get to grips with your new role. 
Well. 
You have no other choice then, really, but to Get On With It. 
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You are quite frankly terrified the next day, when you turn up to your newest duty. The documents sent to you had instructed you to pick up raw meat for the lion from the General’s most trusted supplier before you went up to his chambers; apparently, birdseed and cat-and-dog food was kept there, but the lion’s appetite could not so easily be sated. You have to give yourself a pep-talk before all of it; have to convince yourself that running away from this new responsibility would be both awful for your career prospects and terribly cruel.
“Ah,” says the supplier, when you turn up and tremulously hand over your phone so he can see the attachments displayed on the screen giving you this new Meat Power, “So you’re looking after the waifs and strays and Mimi, then?” 
“Mimi?” You ask, your voice tremulous, and he laughs as he hands over two incredibly full buckets of raw meat. It’s a good job you’re not squeamish. 
“That’s the lion,” he says. “The General tried to name her Snow Lion after he realised she wasn’t just going to be a pretty little white housecat, but . . . Mimi fits. You’ll see!”
The concept of Jing Yuan attempting to adopt a pretty little white house cat and being saddled instead with a huge lion, and having to continue to refer to the powerful beast as ‘Mimi’ despite his best efforts, keeps you entertained right up until you’re outside the door to the General’s chambers and you remember that a carnivorous predator awaits you on the other side of it.
“Well,” you say to yourself, hoisting the buckets up and taking a deep breath, “there’s no point delaying the inevitable. If I get eaten today . . .”
And you let the pass-key you’ve been given float against the sensor, until the ornate doors to Jing Yuan’s chambers slowly part and admit you into the Arbiter-General’s inner sanctum. 
The first thing that you’re struck by is how it seems that the General left in a rush. The entire place, whilst not dirty, has an air of untidiness. You hear the cheeping of finches from the first room; excitement that their Master may have finally returned to play with them. You can’t help but feel sorry for them - from what Yong Hai has said, it may be quite a while before Jing Yuan is well enough to return to his home. 
There are touches of the General everywhere, now that you’re looking. Delicate flowers (you’ve heard he likes small, delicate things, and you can’t help the nervous tug at your clothing as you consider just how indelicate you find yourself). Ceramics and porcelain that you fear are so fragile they may shatter even under your gaze. An unfinished game of star chess, a coffee cup left half-drunk . . . That last one could fetch a fine price in the black market. You’ve heard those traders hawking ‘tissues used by Helm Master Yukong’ or even ‘a book enjoyed by General Jing Yuan’s protege!’. 
Before your mind can lead you too far down that dangerous path, though, the lady of the hour appears. 
She’s beautiful. 
You have to stop yourself gasping aloud. Any fears you might have had seem to fall to the wayside, unimportant, compared to the majesty of the lion before you; the pure white fur, the wise face, the mane that fluffs out from her. She’s pure white; lean, but perhaps with a little pouch at the tummy. Not a single snarl or tangle mars her fur, not a single speck of dirt upon her, like the false moon looking down upon the Luofu--
She sees that you’re holding two big buckets and seems to recognise them, because it’s barely a breath before her ears twitch and she pounces like a kitten, seemingly not realising that you are smaller than her owner and she is far larger than the average kitten is. All of the wind is knocked out of you as you cry out her name and are tackled to the ground. 
You find yourself beneath the warmth of her body, a sweet scent emanating from her fur as if the esteemed General regularly bathes and shampoos her. Delighted, she sticks her snout right into one of the buckets. A low, pleased rumble emits from her throat as she works her teeth over the meat--
You reach up, hesitantly, with the one arm that isn’t pinned by the great weight of her. Your fingers hover for a moment, unsure of what to do - is she like a cat? Does she prefer chin scratches or ear scratches?
You settle for a very light pet at the side of her mane, just by her face. Her fur is just as soft as you had thought she would be - a lady who is clearly incredibly spoilt. Well-cared for. You have another flash of a vision of Jing Yuan - combing her mane, tying a shiny ribbon about her neck to match the ribbon he wears in his own hair. 
Mimi pauses in her enjoyment of the food. Your breath catches in your throat, all of your senses on a sudden high alert - what if she didn’t like being touched like that? What if she’s about to mistake your hand for a part of the buffet you’ve brought her?
A moment that seems like an hour passes.
And then she leans into your hand with a pleased rumble-squeak-growl, her eyes closing in pleasure, and despite how your heart is beating and your legs are aching from the way she’s twisted them and trapped them beneath her . . . you smile. 
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For the first week, every time you let yourself into Jing Yuan’s space, you are alone aside from the animals he keeps there. Mimi launches herself at you, but you’ve learnt to sidestep and laugh and ruffle her mane, offering her choice little tidbits to curl up and gnaw on her food whilst you see to the strays that congregate on Jing Yuan’s balcony. They had taken a little longer to warm to you, but after the second day when it became clear if they wanted the same food Jing Yuan usually prepared they would have to come to you, they had thawed considerably. You leave them to their devices, and finish off with the finches. 
They hop from place to place in their cage, cheeping brightly. Sometimes they hop onto your finger or your shoulder, looking at you like you’re the most wonderful being in the universe. Once one had hopped onto your head and you’d stayed stock-still for five minutes, afraid of disturbing it. 
After all of the pets and animals are fed, you’ve gotten into the habit of sitting with them for a little while. Curling around Mimi and stroking her mane and her tail (you’ve braided it, actually, and told her how pretty she looks with little red ribbons in her fur as she blinked at you her slow, lazy blinks). Listening to birdsong. Letting the strays rub about your feet and imagining the Arbiter-General himself doing all of these mundane tasks. 
It’s strange, to think of him as so . . . so much a real person. General Jing Yuan has always seemed a man of mystery and just a touch of romance to you; a long life species who has outlived almost everyone he’s ever worked with, who has steered the Luofu into glories and battled bravely and heroically against Abundance abominations for longer than you’ve been alive. The first time you’d met him, when you’d gotten your place at the Seat of Divine Foresight (before you’d quite found out how meagre your duties really were), you’d been utterly tongue-tied. 
He’d been charming, naturally. Smiling and charismatic and low and pleasant-voiced, saying how glad he was to have you aboard and how he hoped you would enjoy your time here. There’d been, perhaps, a flash of sadness in his eye at the knowledge you were a short-life species-- but you’d quickly tried to dispel that notion, scolding yourself for your own romanticism. Jing Yuan is your colleague, your boss - better to not harbour such idealism, to make him into a storybook character instead of a man. 
Still. It’s rather hard to imagine him out of breath, puffing and wheezing, after pulling the bucket Mimi had gotten her paw stuck in off of the silly lion’s foreleg before she sent herself into a panic. 
You think that the menagerie that he keeps in his private quarters have grown fond of you in turn. The task that everyone had seemed to find so onerous quickly becomes one of your favourite parts of the day; there is something to be said about the healing properties to the soul of having a lion roll over to show you her tummy and wiggle enticingly until you give in to her and give her all of the rubs and tickles that she so clearly desires. 
So for about a week and a half, everything chugs along; you fall into routine, and the animals recognise you in turn. They sometimes still crane their necks and heads hopefully around you to see if Jing Yuan is around (Mimi especially occasionally looks dejected at his absence, though her ears perk up once again as soon as she remembers the buckets you come bearing are filled with delicious morsels for her), but when it is just you they still seem somewhat satisfied. 
Nobody gives you any warning that Jing Yuan has returned to his own rooms. 
Which is why you walk into the main room with your buckets swinging on your arms, singing a silly little song you’ve composed for Mimi about how the meat is soon to be ‘delicious and yummy’ in her ‘full-up-tummy’, you’re so surprised to hear a velvet soft chuckle floating from the big circular sofa in the centre of it that you almost drop all of those delicious-and-yummy steaks and thighs all over Jing Yuan’s ornately tiled floor. 
You stare at the sofa, your cheeks going all-over hot, as a mass of blankets moves and shifts and a slightly ruffled pale head emerges from them.
The General himself. 
It’s obvious, looking at him, that he hasn’t been feeling his best. His normally tied up hair falls over his face in unstyled sweeps, there are dark circles beneath his eyes and a sharpness to his cheekbones that you have never noticed before. Instead of the armour you have grown so used to seeing him clad in, he wears civilian clothes; a loose shirt that shows off the lines of his throat, his collarbone. 
Despite all of that, though, he is still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen. Your heart still skips a beat. He takes you in for a moment, his face scrunched up as if he is not quite awake; and then, a small smile spreads over his handsome face. 
“Don’t stop on my account,” he says, in that low, musical voice. “I’d like to know where the song has to go, after her tummy has been filled.”
“I’m so sorry,” you blurt out, awkward, nervous, unsure of what to say. “I-- nobody told me you’d be back, I can leave, I didn’t mean to--”
He holds up a lazy hand, the smile still on his face. His eyes are half-lidded, his overall look almost indulgent.
“Please,” he says. “I’m . . . better, but not fully recovered. I’ve been given strict instructions that I'm not to lift heavy objects or do anything more than relax for at least another week. I’d be much obliged - if it’s not too much trouble on top of your own duties, of course - if you could carry on seeing to my . . . what did they call it?” Another small, secret smile. “Ah yes. My little zoo.” 
“I-if you’re sure . . .” You say, surprised to find when you say it aloud that you’re relieved. You truly have gotten attached to all of the animals, even in this short time. 
Mimi butts your leg, impatient for her food, her huge paw petulantly tapping upon the floor. Jing Yuan laughs again, and you feel your stomach clench at the warm sound as it fills the room. 
“Oh, she likes you,” he says, in delight. “I’ve never seen her be so patient with anyone but myself, you know.”
“She’s been friendly since I met her,” you reply, reaching down to scratch her behind her ears and to place the buckets somewhere she won’t make such a mess (though she’s actually a fairly fastidious eater, for someone with no thumbs; you suppose she’s so proud of her lovely white coat that she doesn’t want to risk staining it).
Jing Yuan hums in consideration, his smile not leaving his face, as he watches you pet Mimi and her affectionate head bump before she dives back into her food. As you move into the other sitting room - the one that the finches reside in - you hear more rustling, and as you gather the birdseed you’re surprised to see that Jing Yuan is following you, sloping afterwards determinedly. There’s a definite tilt to his walk - the walk of a man who’s been in bed for a week - and you can’t help but say something.
“Sh-should you be out of bed, General?” You wince at the slight admonishment in your tone, fearing he will think you’re scolding him - but Jing Yuan simply smiles. 
“I need to check on my sweet little charges,” he says. “Come now. I’ve been in bed for days. Let me wander about my own rooms without worrying your pretty head too much about it, alright?”
It takes all of your grace not to turn into a pathetic, embarrassed mess at the easy way he says ‘your pretty head’ - somehow, you manage to keep your composure, keep some measure of poise, even as inside you feel yourself turn to mush. 
He sits down upon a chaise by the birdcages as you reach in to fill the small bowls and scatter the feed, his eyes not leaving you for a second. He smiles when he sees a finch or two hop upon your hand to peck at the seeds and bits left in the crevices of your palm. 
“A true animal whisperer,” he says, watching one of the more inquisitive finches hop up to your wrist and your forearm to tug teasingly at your elbow-length sleeves. “They’re not too fond of strangers, either.”
“I have been feeding them for a week, Sir,” you say to him, with a smile at the finch as you urge it off of your arm and back to the rest of its friends. “They’ve gotten used to me.”
He shakes his head, his hair falling about his shoulders, and you’re struck with the thought that he and Mimi even look similar. You’ve heard the old adage about how pet owners and their pets grow to look the same, of course, but you’d never realised quite how true it was until that moment and the sight of Jing Yuan doing a motion you’ve grown used to Mimi doing. 
He follows, too, as you take food and water onto the balcony. As cats wind around first your ankles, and then his - as dogs wag their tails and lick at your hands. 
“If I were a jealous man . . .” He says, laughing. “They must see something truly special in you.”
“Me?” You ask, aiming for a tinkly laugh but landing on ‘incredulous’. “No, they’re just sweet creatures. All of them are.”
He’s unerringly patient with the animals; his big hands tender as they scratch ears and tickle chins. Seeing the great General being so delicate makes your heart turn over in your chest; his big, scarred hands in direct opposition to the delicate bones and the soft fluff of all of the creatures that mass here. 
“Don’t be so modest,” Jing Yuan says quietly in reply. “I’ve known some of these animals for years. If they didn’t think you were something special . . .” 
Your cheeks are hot again. Somehow, in the course of this conversation, Jing Yuan has gotten closer and closer to you. Out here on the balcony, under the warm false sun of the Luofu, there’s nowhere for Jing Yuan to sit and watch - so he’s stood close to you. Close enough that you can see the warm gold amber of his gaze, the fan of his lashes, the mole high up beneath his eye. You swallow, and the sound is almost indecently loud even with the background mewls and barks and purrs. 
“I’m glad that they found someone so able to do this for me,” he says, his voice still quiet. That single word, those single two syllables, somehow manage to be imbued with more meaning than you’d ever imagined they could be. “I’ll be looking forward to seeing you.”
“Just until you’re feeling a bit better,” you reply, cheeks still hot, throat still sore, heart still beating far too fast in your chest. You wonder what Jing Yuan is thinking as he looks down at you - if he has noticed your anxiety, the way that he seems to set you all aflutter. You hope he thinks it is merely because he is your superior, and not because it’s so very hard not to dwell on his looks and his warm voice and the surprisingly different persona that he shows when he’s doing this--
Jing Yuan is still smiling at you, from back on the sofa covered in his blankets with Mimi spread out protectively over his feet, as you foolishly wave goodbye and leave his chambers. 
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You get to witness Jing Yuan’s recovery firsthand. The first few days, he is still unsure of his own limbs; he still slowly lopes around the rooms. Once or twice, you come in to feed the animals and he stays wrapped within his blankets, Mimi only leaving his side to demand some cuddles and some meat from you. 
Despite his illness, though, he always has time to talk to you. He always asks you how you are feeling, what you have been doing; he teases you for how the animals seem to recognise you just as well as him now. When one of the finches pecks at your cheek, he chuckles and says;
“Ah, wouldn’t we all like to give our little bird a kiss like that?”
You don’t know how to respond to that, ducking your head, muttering something unintelligible that wins another of his laughs. His words err on the edge of being flirtatious. Once or twice he compliments your outfit, your hair - how lovely you look today. You never know how to react to such things; you force yourself not to dwell on them, reminding yourself of Jing Yuan’s own looks and his position and trying to tell yourself not to get attached and that the General is merely trying to be polite. 
One afternoon, he asks you to sit with him and have tea. 
It would be rude of you to say no; not when he has placed two teacups before him, anticipating your acceptance, a plate of sweet treats in an amount that would be gluttonous even for him arranged with the tea service. So you try and gracefully position yourself across from him. You try and remember your manners as you take the cup by the handle, as you choose the least ornamented and sugary of the delicacies on offer--
(It’s hard not to remember being told not to indulge at all. You feel conscious of eating in front of him--)
“Have this one,” Jing Yuan says, as if he can read your mind, and he pushes towards you an intricately decorated little cake resplendent with sugar roses and ruffles. “It’s one of my favourites.”
Your mouth waters. You give him an embarrassed smile as he encourages you further, reaching over to pick it up himself and place it upon your plate instead of merely pushing it.
“Really?” You ask, trying to pick it up neatly. “It’s a bit more delicate than I thought you’d like. I suppose I imagined you liking things a little rougher--”
Your face goes hot as you realise what you just said, but Jing Yuan ignores the innuendo and simply smiles at you. 
“Ah,” he says. “I like things that are . . . delicate. Smaller than me. So lovely to observe and enjoy, don’t you think?” His gaze doesn’t leave your face. You have never considered yourself delicate - the curves that you display have put an end to that - but under his eyes, you can’t help but think of the breadth of his shoulders and his height and think how a man like him could make even you feel small and breakable. “What do you think?”
The little cake is sweet on the tongue, flavoured with a hint of something you can’t quite name. Your eyes widen in surprise. 
“It’s wonderful,” you tell him, swallowing the bite and enjoying how the taste lingers. “Truly.”
“I’m so glad you enjoyed it,” he says - and then, he reaches over the table. “You have something--” 
You go stock-still, embarrassed and shocked at the intimacy of the gesture, as he uses his thumb to wipe a smudge of icing from the corner of your mouth. He keeps your gaze the whole time. It is something a lover does - it is not something you’d ever expected General Jing Yuan to do for you--
“There,” he says, returning to his cake as if nothing has happened. “It would be a terrible shame if I couldn’t see all of your lovely face, after all.” 
He is always saying things like this; off-the-cuff remarks that, if he were not the General of the Xianzhou Luofu, you would interpret as being flirty. He mentions them when you have tea together, when he ropes you into playing a game of star chess (“Don’t think I will go easy on you because you are nice to look at,” he says, as he places the counters into their starting positions), when he watches you and Mimi and you and the finches and tells you that he cannot decide which is cuter. 
You see him get gradually stronger and stronger. No more limping. He is almost always dressed, now. His hair no longer falls in shaggy waves about his face. His dark circles dissipate, his voice getting somehow even deeper and more velvety. 
The unspoken reality that soon, Jing Yuan will be well and you will no longer have to take on this extra duty hangs over your head.
You find that the idea makes you feel sick. You are not only enjoying caring for the animals, now, but you’ve also started to look forward to seeing the General. 
Well.
That’s not quite it.
You have to be honest with yourself, don’t you? 
You’ve developed a crush on him. 
You can’t imagine not seeing him. Not being greeted with Mimi’s butts and her batting paws; not hearing the pleased chirps of his finches whenever they see you. Not enjoying tea with him any more, simply existing in this lazy golden time when you do not have to think about work or his position above you or anything other than the four walls that surround you and the multiple hearts beating within it. 
Jing Yuan brings it up first.
“I’ve been thinking,” he says, coughing one day after the two of you have played a game of star chess that you were thoroughly destroyed during. “Well. I’m sure you’ve noticed that I’m getting better.”
“I’m glad to see it, Sir,” you say, forcing a smile to your face even as your heart falls into the region of your feet. “We were all very worried about you. Everyone is always asking me how you are and when you’ll be returning to work--”
His face clouds, a flinch so quick you almost miss it.
“Yes,” he says, a mournful tone to his voice. “I’ll soon be returning to work.”
You tell yourself sternly not to cry. This was never supposed to be permanent. 
“Then I suppose you won’t need me any longer,” you say, forcing a smile on your face. You are going to be gracious if it kills you.
“Ah,” Jing Yuan replies. “That’s what I’d like to talk to you about. I . . . we are all very fond of you, you see.” He motions to Mimi, who has come to curl beside you, her head laid against your knee. “I fear Mimi will riot if you were to stop bringing her all of those steaks, you understand. And who knows what she’d do, deprived of your song about her tummy?”
You squeak in embarrassment. Mimi lifts her head and gives you a slow, displeased look, much to Jing Yuan’s amusement. 
“Well. I’m very aware that it’s not part of your duties, and I’d be willing of course to pay you more for all of the trouble, but--” 
You see Jing Yuan falter for one of the first times; as if he is afraid that you are about to reject him outright. He coughs, trying to hide his anxiety, but it is an emotion you’re intimately familiar with and as such you recognise it for what it is. 
“We’re all so very fond of you,” he repeats. “Won’t you keep coming?”
You barely leave a breath before you’re happily agreeing. 
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It’s not quite the same. 
You knew it wouldn’t be; you knew that you wouldn’t see Jing Yuan anywhere near as often, as he resumed all of the many duties that the Arbiter-General has to take on. Despite how unenthused he had seemed to be returning to his work, you knew that Jing Yuan took his responsibilities terribly seriously). 
Still.
You had thought you might see him more. Might still be able to drink a cup of tea with him, even if it could not be the same kind of slow, languid time the two of you had taken over it before. You’d thought that there’d still be time for a conversation or two. 
The reality is that you almost never see the General now. 
At work, your paths had crossed only rarely; now, hyper-aware of his presence, you realise that you see him almost never. Not at work, and not at his own home. 
You’re still excited to see the animals - for the finches to happily chirp at you as if they’re telling you about their day. One of them rides about on your shoulder, now, even when you go out to feed the strays. You’re still excited to tell Mimi what a good girl she is and rub her tummy and play with her (she’s inordinately fond of ribbons and the chasing thereof, like an overgrown housecat). 
But without Jing Yuan there . . .
There’s something missing. 
You still do your duties as well as you can - Jing Yuan has negotiated a hefty raise for you, all things considered - but you can’t help sometimes leaving his home feeling a little empty at the lack of seeing the General. You can’t help being disconsolate as you think about him - as you remember his flirty little asides, the way he’d looked at you across the room, the smile that played across his mouth whenever he did. You know he couldn’t really be interested in you, that he was probably like that with most people - but a secret little flame cannot help but burn in your heart even so. 
Days pass, quiet, lonely. You work, and feed the animals, and go home to your own empty quarters. You work, feed, go home, work, feed, go home--
Until one evening, when you’re just about to leave Jing Yuan’s chambers, when the door opens and the General appears. He looks a little red in the face; his breath comes in short little pants. You’ve never seen him so obviously flustered; usually, Jing Yuan fits perfectly up to his reputation as the Drowsy General. 
“Are you alright?” You ask him, rushing over. You’re touching him before you’ve thought through consequences; finger hovering over his pulse point, reaching up to feel his forehead to make sure he’s not running a temperature. Through the panting, he looks at you and smiles. 
“I’m afraid,” he says, still breathing heavily, his voice rasping. “I made up a little lie to be able to get back here on an errand that doesn’t really exist.”
“General,” you scold him. It’s not like him to shirk responsibilities. He laughs. 
“Yes, yes, I know, little thing-- but I had to see you. I wanted to see you again.”
You think he’s misspoken.
“I have to get back,” he says, and he reaches down - his hands upon your cheek again. You don’t know how to reply, what to say, what is going on. All you know is that you are there, and Jing Yuan is there, and something is happening. Fizzing on the air is a promise that something is going to change. “But . . . I couldn’t-- I needed to finally--”
Jing Yuan kisses you. 
It’s a kiss as messy and rushed as he is right now. A kiss that says that he has to hurry back, despite how much he doesn’t want to. You, unused to being kissed and even more unused to being kissed by handsome military leaders who feel a hundred times out of your league, do not kiss him back. He’s messy and wet, and his teeth clash against your lips as you stand there, feeling foolish and wrong-footed.
He realises you’re not kissing him back, and he stops - he draws back, his eyebrows furrowed. He opens his mouth to speak. 
He’s going to say it was a mistake, you realise. He’s going to say he thought you were someone else, that he was carried away in the heat of the moment. You and Jing Yuan? No. It couldn’t be. It’s absurd, it’s silly, nobody could ever believe it - and yet.
And yet.
Your heart couldn’t take his rejection.
“I’m sorry,” you blurt out - and you push past him and out of the door and back towards the comforting ordinary normality of your own empty rooms. 
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Despite your embarrassment, fear and all of those other emotions keeping you up all night, when you wake up the next morning you know that things will be worse the more you put them off. So you get dressed for work and you thank Lan that, when you walk into the Seat of Divine Foresight, Jing Yuan is nowhere to be seen. 
You hope he is hard at work, far away from you. You cannot quite face him yet. You haven’t properly said goodbye to your foolish dreams. 
You can’t shirk your other duties either, so at the ordinary time you stand up from your desk (you’ve somehow been saddled with the job of reviewing paperwork for grammar inconsistencies. You feel certain there ought to be software of some sort that does this job for you, but it had been laid here on your desk when you’d gotten to it and you were not in the habit of arguing about your duties), and you head to the designated supplier of raw meats for Mimi’s consumption.
“Oh,” says the supplier, the evening after Jing Yuan had finagled a way to see you. “He told me to let you know to go straight up today.” 
You frown, not quite sure why; you hope Mimi is alright. It feels strange to be going towards Jing Yuan’s home without your arms weighed down with buckets of meat, but you push forward even so. You hope last night - the awkward kiss, the way he had looked at you - does not sour things between the two of you. You hope that he isn’t about to tell you to never come back. Your heart makes a new home, somewhere in the vicinity of your throat, as you hesitantly knock upon his door.
A beat passes. Your mind helpfully provides you with all of the ways in which Jing Yuan could be about to fire you - or worse, let you down gently and admit that he had a moment of weakness. In that moment, you suddenly seem so much more aware than before of yourself - of the unfashionable curves, of the amount of space you take up, of how a man like Jing Yuan could surely not have really wanted to kiss someone like you - and then, he has opened the door and he is smiling at you and he doesn’t look angry.
Instead, upon seeing you there, a smile passes across his face; tugs at the corners of his lips, crinkles the corners of his eyes.
“I was afraid you wouldn’t come,” he says to you - and he reaches across the threshold and his hand brushes your cheek, as soft and tender with you as he is with his finches. “I’m sorry if I frightened you last night.”
“I’m sorry I ran,” tumbles out of your mouth. “I just . . . I didn’t think you-- and somebody like me-- and I was afraid--”
He lays a finger over your lips, still smiling. 
“It’s alright,” he says, in that low, smooth voice. “I’m sorry if I caused you undue trouble, little bird.” The pet name falls from his lips as easily as any other trifle, though it makes you feel hot and aware of yourself and flattered all at once. “Please come in.”
He takes your hand to gently urge you across the threshold, his touch still feather light. You think, as he does it, of all of the other things those hands have done; all of the battles they have waged, all of the strength that must be contained within them despite how gentle his touch is now. 
“I’ve asked someone else to take care of the animals,” he says to you, not letting go of your hand as he leads you through the front room. You realise with a start exactly where he is taking you as he approaches a door you have never had reason to open before. He looks at you, eyes keen and golden. “I wanted us to be alone. I would hope, little bird, if you do not want this . . .” 
“I do,” tumbles from your mouth. It is nothing but the honest truth. You let the crush that you’ve been trying to deny, the fear of Jing Yuan not liking you or finding you attractive, the anxieties of not being good enough, all wash over you, in favour of the beating of your heart and the feel of his hand on your face and the sight of his hand upon the doorknob of his bedroom. 
He turns fully so he stands before you. Hands come up, cradling your face; thumbs brushing the plump apples of your cheek, fingertips upon the soft flesh. He is smiling still, even as he dips his head lower, so low you can see the multitudes of swirling shades of gold in his eyes. 
“Promise me,” he murmurs, low and soft. “Tell me you want me the way I want you. No expectations, little one. Your career, your position, your everything - nothing will change if you do not want me as badly as I desire you. Honesty.” You realise a tear has escaped from the corner of your eye. You have never felt so . . . seen. So very much wanted. So sure of anything in your life. He wipes that tear with his thumb, tilting your face closer to him so that if you just angled your head differently you could kiss him. “Promise me.” 
“I promise,” you whisper, and Jing Yuan’s lips meet yours. 
This kiss is entirely unlike the one from yesterday; this kiss is slow, luxurious. Jing Yuan starts off gentle with you, his hand still cupping your jaw - his lips moving against yours in slow, indolent waves. He nips at your bottom lip with his teeth and wins a gasp from you, a hitch of your breath, as your own hands come up to rest lightly upon his chest. You feel his mouth curve into a smile against your own. 
“You’re adorable,” he rumbles, pulling back just enough that you can still feel his breath on your face. “Truly - you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this to you.”
“I--” You helplessly stare up at him. You can barely believe this is happening, as he pushes open the door to his most private of domains. “Really?”
He laughs again, gently taking your arm and urging you into the room. You are helpless to do anything but follow him - to let him slowly, slowly, slowly pull you beside him and onto his bed. 
“You really have no idea how . . . desirable you are?” He asks, voice low and husky, humming with want. His hand skims over your cheek, the nape of your neck, following the line of your jaw and your throat to linger over your collarbone. His eyes follow the path his fingers take, not moving from your form for an instant. “You really didn’t notice me staring at you, little bird?” He leans in, close enough for his breath to tickle your ear. His lips brush over the pulse point in your neck, making you squeak in surprise again even as it sends a bolt of heat to the space between your legs. “Imagining what you would feel like under my hands? Imagining what you would look like, divested of that maddeningly conservative uniform they make you wear?” Another kiss, this one with a hint of teeth. You realise with a hot flush of embarrassment mixed with want you have cried out at the sensation of the almost-bite. “Imagining how you would react to every touch I gave you?” 
“Sir,” you pant, dazed and amazed and hot and needy. “I-- I thought about you, too--”
“Oh,” he murmurs, as his big fingers slide over your body, feeling the ample shape of you through that same conservative uniform. His big palms brush the soft chub of your upper arms, the meat of your chest, the shape of your waist and over the curve of your hips, basely appreciating your body even beneath the fabric. “I’m sure they were no match for the utterly filthy things I imagined doing to you.” 
His thumb digs into the indent of your waist, tugging you closer to him so that you’re pressed tighter against his body. He smiles down at you, every inch the conquering general, and your heart beats in time with the pounding between your legs. He looks at you like he wants to devour you. Wanting and hungry and lustful, like you’re the most delicious thing he’s ever seen. It’s not a look you’re overly familiar with receiving - but oh, does it feel amazing to be on the receiving end of it from Jing Yuan. 
“Such a fragile thing,” he murmurs down to you, and you almost laugh, for you do not feel fragile - but Jing Yuan continues speaking, and you get lost in the dulcet tone of his voice. “So very mortal. So very ephemeral . . .” He sighs, dips his head and kisses you again, a flurry of pecks upon your lips as his thumb draws circles where it rests. “Will you let me make the most of having you, little bird? Let me show you how beautiful you are?” He smiles. “I have always had a weakness for delicate things.” 
He means it. 
Any time you have ever felt too big; ungainly, or ill-shaped - all of it falls to the wayside under the warm haze of being looked at and admired and wanted by Jing Yuan. You find yourself smiling up at him, aware you probably look as though there is not a thought in your head, but the General doesn’t seem to mind as he looks at you with hunger colouring his gaze. 
“May I undress you?” He asks, voice low and cajoling. His fingers tease beneath the neckline of your uniform, and it feels as though they leave a trail of fire everywhere they linger. You do not trust yourself to speak; you nod at him, your breath coming out in short little pants. He makes a soft noise of approval, before his fingers are working at buttons and fabric. Cool air hits your bare skin; your uniform is gently cajoled off of your body, tossed aside to be worried about later as Jing Yuan’s hungry eyes drink in every new inch of your exposed skin. 
He does not stop praising you as he does it.
“Look at you,” he murmurs, as your top half is bared, as his eyes roam over your chest and his hands come up and squeeze the generous curve of them, palms rough against delicate skin. You shiver as his thumbs find your nipples, as they rub over them again and again until the buds stiffen beneath his touch and a soft whine escapes the back of your throat. “You’re beautiful.”
His tone is nothing if not worshipful. By slow, luxurious degrees, Jing Yuan helps divest you of your garments. As your underwear and bottoms are rolled down, as fabric bunches at thighs and knees, he does not stop murmuring sweet nothings about how soft you are, how beautiful, how lucky he is to be able to see you like this. 
About how he has been thinking about having you like this since the moment he saw you. 
“You looked so beautiful then too,” he murmurs, as your underwear is pulled from your ankles. He briefly gazes at it, the gusset saturated with your slick, and he smiles. “Ah . . . that little song, the nervous, shy reaction to realising I was there - the sight of you all soft-eyed and adoring with Mimi . . . I’ve never wanted to have my wicked way with somebody quite so much.” 
You’re bare beneath him, Jing Yuan slowly urging you to lay down upon the coverlets of his large bed. You suppose that it’s so large so that if Mimi desires to sleep with him, she can, but it alongside Jing Yuan’s own size simply helps you feel small and delicate and breakable in a way you never have before. 
“I wanted to know,” Jing Yuan murmurs, leaning down and brushing his lips over yours, teasing and feather-light. “If you would be quite so adorable, squirming and nervous and vulnerable, if I were to have you like this.”
Your cheeks are hot. Jing Yuan has not lost a single garment of his own, but you are entirely unguarded to whatever he wants to do to you now - bare of every scrap of fabric. His gaze lingering on your body almost makes you want to draw in; to curl around the exposed flesh of your stomach, to cover the pudge. 
Jing Yuan notices something in the way you hold yourself. He smiles down at you and cups your cheek.
“Don’t hide,” he breathes. “I want to see all of you, little thing. I want you to know how beautiful I find you.”
“I--”
He takes your hand in his, shifting so he is on his knees between your legs. Gently, he guides your unsure hand to the space over his own crotch. Even through the layers of fabric, you can sense the heat of him; the stiffness pushing against his trousers.
“If I did not want you,” he says, “why would you make me so needy, hmm? Feel what you do to me.” He presses your hand a little harder against it, a soft hiss of breath escaping him, encouraging you to not simply take his word for it. Your face hot as ever, you do so; give a gentle squeeze that makes him groan. “Ah-- be careful, sweet thing. I want to take my time over you.”
He lets go of your hand, gently urging you to place it back beside you. Your fingers find purchase in his sheets. You still cannot quite believe where you are; that it’s the great Arbiter-General leaning over you, looking down at you like you’re the most beautiful thing that he’s ever seen. 
“I-it’s not fair,” you say to him, your voice dry. “I’ve lost all of my clothes, and you’re still fully dressed--”
He chuckles. This time, when he bends down, there’s a slow, deliberate quality about him. He kisses your neck again; trails wet butterfly kisses over your collarbones, lower and lower to the swell of your chest. His hands come to cup the generous weight of them, even as his mouth floats closer and closer to your nipples, tightening and stiffening in anticipation. 
“I told you,” he says, murmuring in between flicks of his tongue against the buds. “I want to take my time over you.” He looks at you, eyes half-lidded. “Ah, you short-life species . . . You never learn patience. I have all of the time in the world to give you ecstasy over and over--”
People call Jing Yuan the Dozing General. As he applies his tongue to your nipples, though - as he suckles and nips and bites, as he kisses and squeezes until you feel dizzy with the attention he’s lavishing upon you, you realise that they are misinformed. Jing Yuan is not lazy or dozing - Jing Yuan merely likes to take his time over things. 
And oh, is he enjoying taking his time over you. 
You whine under his touch. You whimper and squirm, your cheeks flooding hot, your entire body prickling with tension and pleasure as his attentions upon your nipples send shockwaves of pleasure down to your sex. You feel wetness fair seeping out of you; slick rolling down your thighs, making a mess of Jing Yuan’s bed sheets. 
“Please,” you manage to get out, dry-voiced and wanting, after what seems like an eternity. “Please, Sir--”
“Jing Yuan,” He corrects you, a smile on his face as he continues to trail wet kisses over your bare skin. “What kind of man would I be if I allowed you to call me ‘Sir’ buried knuckle-deep in you, sweet thing? We are on even ground here.”
It’s hard not to think of him as the General. You are currently barely able to string a thought together, and he hasn’t even touched the place between your thighs yet. Still - you need him to touch you somewhere else. You need his attentions to give your chest a break (your nipples are sore, stiffened points - your skin slick with the wetness of his licks and kisses) and move to somewhere else. You force out, through your desire to genuflect to his status, his given name.
“Jing Yuan--”
“Hmm?” He asks, raising his head. His lips are swollen and pink, his eyes amused. “Do you need something, little bird?”
“Please . . .” A soft exhale, trying to work through the mass of sensations and needs that your body seems to have become. Jing Yuan does not stop touching even as you try and get out your words; still gently squeezing and toying with the weight of your chests. He’s smiling, enjoying watching you desperately work through the haze of your desire. 
“Your words,” he says, a maddening smile pulling at his lips. “Tell me what you want, and I promise I’ll do all in my power to give you it.”
“Please,” you say again, your brain fuzzy. His hands move from your chest now; big palms travelling over the curve of your stomach, your hips, resting there in a way that makes you almost lose all of your senses. “I want you to touch me . . . there--”
“Where, little thing?” He’s still smiling. “Here?” A gentle squeeze to your hips. “Here?” His palm roves over your stomach, the soft pouch just above your mound. You whimper again. “Ah. Come now--”
“Between my legs,” you whisper, voice tight and breaking with desire. “Jing Yuan, please--”
“Ah,” he laughs, dips down and kisses you once on the mouth. “You need only to ask. Spread your thighs for me, lovely thing.”
You do, utterly helplessly. Jing Yuan sighs reverently, moving further down so that he can bend his head to look at you. Your face burns under his scrutiny, fearful that he will find something lacking in your body even as his eyes greedily drink you in like you are the finest wine. He breathes deeply, and you hope that your scent is not off-putting - and then, his fingers are sliding slowly and surely up the soft plush of your legs and closer and closer to the space between your thighs and your heart is beating too fast and your breath is coming in short pants.
“Calm down,” he murmurs, and you keen as his hands reach your sex; as he uses his thumbs to spread the plump lips of your labia apart and the cool air hits your slick, heated core. “Ah, darling . . .”
There is so much in those two syllables. Hunger and desire and adoration, all mixed together as one. In another world, with another person, it might have made you feel self-conscious; but Jing Yuan looks down at you as if you are the most beautiful treasure he has ever had the good fortune to witness. 
He leans down, down - and you squeak as you realise what he’s about to do, surprised, but it does not deter him at all as he lets his tongue take a slow, luxurious lick down your sex. The base of his tongue presses against your clit, the pressure on the swollen hitherto ignored nub almost enough to make you come right there and then - but then he pulls back again, chuckling.
“Mm,” he says. “If I allow myself to sample too much of something so sweet, I’m afraid I’ll lose my composure.” He moves his hand instead; lets his fingers explore the length of you, fingertips brushing against your clenching entrance and dancing about your swollen clit. There is little pressure exerted on your sex; merely Jing Yuan’s slow, considering explorations. You clench your own fingers into the bedsheets in order to stop yourself writhing. 
“Lovely,” Jing Yuan says to himself. “Ah, you feel like velvet. Such a pretty thing; so perfectly made . . .” He sighs, even as the tip of his longest finger nudges against your entrance. Your hips move of their own accord, trying to suck him in and get him to put his finger inside of you, but he clicks his tongue with an amused chide; “Impatient,” he says. “Ah. You’re lucky you’re so irresistible--”
He slides his finger inside of you, slowly but certainly. You sigh, your lashes fluttering closed - his touch stokes all of those fires inside of you, of course, burning to fever pitch . . . but the sensation of finally having something inside of you has also made you realise how empty you felt before. It feels good, to have something to fill that pulsing space. Jing Yuan watches with rapt attention as he slides his finger half out, and then half inside of you again. 
You have had some experience, but you have never felt the way Jing Yuan makes you feel. 
“You take it so well,” he murmurs. “Look how pretty you look with something inside of you. Ah. I could spend hours doing this to you . . .”
You make a soft whine of discontent at the idea and he laughs, clicking his tongue even as he’s letting his second finger dance at your entrance ready to join the first. 
“No, even I do not have the patience for that right now,” he agrees. “Not when you feel so wonderful, little bird. Not when I cannot wait to see you come apart.”
The second finger; a slight scissoring motion as it enters you, getting you used to the size and stretch of two of his digits instead of one. The heel of his palm presses against your clit with every wet pump, sending frissons of pleasure to the tips of your toes; but he still does not rush himself. He still lets himself enjoy the feel of you clinging tightly to his fingers, the sight of them disappearing inside of your slick, drooling hole. 
“Does that feel good?” He asks you, deciding you haven’t spoken recently enough. “Tell me if you want me to go faster, sweet thing--”
“Please,” you say, ragged, breathing heavy. You can feel a tight hot ball of tension between your legs, rolling in your gut, threatening to overwhelm you. “Please, Jing Yuan, faster--”
“Very well,” he smiles, and he crooks his fingers inside of you to find your g-spot - causing your back to arch involuntarily, a whine of pure enjoyment to loose itself from your throat. At the same time, his thumb moves to play with your clit - to toy with the bud, to roll and to circle and to press against the swollen bundle of nerves. What already felt like electric shocks of pleasure move on; instead, they are lightning bolts, ricocheting up your spine and stopping just short of striking earth. 
“You’re close,” Jing Yuan says, and you are staring at his mouth. How a strand of your own gossamer-thin arousal is still glimmering at the corner. How his eyes are so focused on you that his gaze feels almost scorching. “That’s right. Let go for me, sweet thing--”
His soft entreaty pushes you over the edge, and the lightning strikes home as your peak hits you with all of the force of a storm.
His fingers work you over the crest of your orgasm, the two inside of you constantly rubbing against that spongy spot that makes you see stars, the big pad of his thumb roughly sliding over your twitching clit in circles and lines. As the waves come to a head and then slowly begin to dissipate, he slows his attentions too - until the slow strokes of his fingers fade out into nothing. He does not seem to care that you’ve soaked his fingers and his palm and the fabric he wears and his bed too - merely keeps looking at you, smiling, like you’re giving him the most precious gift imaginable. 
“Good,” he praises you. “But . . . I’m afraid that just that taste from earlier wasn’t quite enough, little bird. May I use my mouth on you?”
Who would ever believe this? Who would ever imagine little old you, on the Arbiter-General’s bed, as he looks at you and waits for your permission to fuck you with his tongue? You feel rather tongue-tied yourself - but you recall what Jing Yuan said earlier, about using your words.
“Please do,” you say, aloud, and Jing Yuan gives you that same smile that makes you feel like the only being in the whole universe.
“Thank you,” he says, sounding entirely like he means it - like it’s truly an honour for him to be able to serve you on his hands and knees. And then he has moved his body further down the bed, elegant and graceful and leonine, and his mouth is heading towards the slick-soaked place between your legs and his tongue is glinting wet in the bedroom and then he is on you, licking at you, hungrily devouring your sex like it is his last meal before an execution. 
You’re still oversensitive from his earlier attentions, and the sensation of the wet muscle of his tongue working over you almost pushed you into another early orgasm. Your fingers move from where they’re still clenched into the bedsheets to cling to his hair instead, pulling on the silvery pale strands as your back arches and you blindly cant your hips forward towards his mouth.
He groans aloud at having his hair pulled, and the groan sends vibrations all through your body that make you feel weak at the knees, your toes curling. His tongue continues its assault; back and forth, back and forth. Wetness drools from your sex and onto his face; you can feel the heat in his cheeks, the fan of his lashes against your bare skin. 
He twirls his tongue about your entrance, teasingly dips into it, as the channel of your sex constricts and pulses in an attempt to pull him even further in. He groans as your hands knit further into his hair, fucking you for a moment with his tongue before he seems to try and work his face further into your sex. 
It’s like he wants to engulf you; soft noises of pleasure keep falling from his mouth, interspersed with rumbling groans. He’s almost gyrating against the bed, you realise, your cheeks hot - grinding his crotch into the mattress as if he’s desperate to have some attention of his own. 
That sight makes your mouth go dry; all of the moisture in your body instead congregating between your legs to make a new home in Jing Yuan’s mouth and smeared across his cheeks. 
His tongue flicks across your clit and the noise that escapes you is almost animal; Jing Yuan says something, perhaps, or at least makes some kind of muffled noise from his position happily buried in your sex before he shifts his tongue just so and his mouth fastens around your clit fully. 
Sucking and licking, suckling upon the pearl like his life depends upon it; tongue occasionally just brushing under the hood, where you’re most engorged, and you can do nothing but cling onto his hair and pull at it as the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt rips through your body.
You cannot put into words the way that you feel as Jing Yuan devours you. Your entire body feels, suddenly, as if it weighs nothing; as if sparkling lights suffuse your fingers and toes and you float into the stratosphere, white lights dancing behind your eyes in time with your whine (a whine so loud you’re sure everybody on the Luofu must have heard of it).
You come down, eventually, to the sound of Jing Yuan panting. The wet noise as his mouth separates from you, the pleased grin on his face as he uses his thumb to wipe his mouth of some of your slick. It’s a pointless endeavour, really; his face is so saturated with it you’re not sure if he’ll ever be dry again. 
“Darling,” Jing Yuan repeats, looking you in the eye, smiling like the cat who has gotten the cream. “You have no idea how much I enjoyed doing that.”
The words almost make you go over shy - but you push that to the side. There is no point, you decide, being nervous of a man who has now known you so intimately.
“In which case,” you say, breathlessly - your voice is still a little scratchy from the moaning and whimpering you’ve been doing - “Will you let me make you feel just as good?”
He looks at you for a moment, before he throws his head back and laughs.
“Why,” he says. “Of course I will.”
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“Come,” Jing Yuan is murmuring, and he is finally removing his own clothes. Armour drops to the side of him, shirts unbuttoned and fastenings unhooked. His body is muscular and dotted with scars, befitting his status as a military hero; a light dusting of pale hair upon his proud chest, down into a trail to the vee of his hips. You swallow, your throat dry, trying to blink back the waves of pleasure that are still lapping gently at your shores in order to concentrate on what’s going on. His face is still wet with your slick, his hair damp with sweat and falling in messy strands over his flushed face. He looks well-fucked even without you touching him back, as if merely getting you to feel good was enough for him. 
His cock. It’s stiff against the hard planes of his abdomen, a thick, pretty specimen bubbling with precome at the flushed tip. He sighs, running his hand over it once, and your mouth practically waters at the way it twitches. It looks stiff and hard enough that you wonder if it hurts, to want so badly - but Jing Yuan looks at you and smiles, as he rearranges himself on the bed. Pillows are moved, and before you know it he has sat against them, propping himself up like an emperor upon his throne. His cock stands proud and wanting, and he gently pats his thigh as if he is calling an obedient animal to him.
“I don’t wish to hurt you, little bird,” he says - and again, you think of how it feels to be smaller than him. How he does not care about the flesh that spills from straps or curves over fabric. How he looks at you like the most beautiful thing in the world and calls you ‘delicate’ and ‘little’ and ‘precious’ and means them. “Come. Take a seat. As slowly as you need.” 
Despite how he has seen you so intimately, you cannot help but feel a little flare of fear as you approach him. He smiles, entirely at peace and at comfort with you going at your own pace, and you could kiss him for it.
“Touch,” he murmurs. “Don’t be afraid.”
With trembling fingers, you reach out; let your hand encircle his cock, get used to the width and the feel of him and imagine it inside of you. He pulses beneath your palm, a soft hum of pleasure falling from the back of his throat as you give it a cursory pump. He curses softly as your thumb rubs across the slit of his cockhead, the bubble of precome wetting the pad.
“Touch,” he says, with a smile. “But don’t get me too excited, little bird. I don’t want to come anywhere but inside of you.”
Your cheeks go hot at his easy profession; your tongue darts out to trace your lower lip. You’re used to the feel of him now; the heat that seems to stir beneath the surface of his cock, the veins that marble the side of his shaft, the ruddy pink of the head. Taking a deep breath, you spread your legs and let yourself readjust, straddling him. His own hands come up to cling to your thighs, sinking into the soft flesh there.
“You’re so soft,” he murmurs, as if in devotion, as if praying to an Aeon. “You’re beautiful.” 
His cockhead brushes your clit as you fit it snugly between the lips of your sex; you shift your hips, until it catches against your entrance and your eyes flutter closed. 
Your eyes are still closed as you begin to lower yourself down, so you feel every inch of him as he makes his home within your body. Your eyes being closed, of course, you miss the softness and the warmth that fills Jing Yuan’s gaze as he looks at you. The brief moment of sadness that passes behind his eyes as he remembers that you are a short-life species; that he cannot have all of the time in the world with you, to teach you pleasures the likes of which you do not yet know. The sadness he cannot spend his lifetime learning you by heart--
But you hear the soft murmur of your name, as he bottoms out inside of you and you take a moment to simply rest there with him buried as deep inside of you as he can go. You feel the way one of his hands slides up your spine to grip the back of your head and to pull you into a kiss as deep and adoring as anything else he’s done so far. 
Teeth and tongue and lips, whimpering and gasping into one another’s mouths until you do not know where he ends and where you begin, Jing Yuan somehow manages to murmur;
“Move whenever you want, sweet thing. Set the pace.” 
It does not, in the end, feel like either of those things happen. Instead, it feels as though the universe sets the pace for you; as if you simply know when to begin to move your hips, how to bend and angle yourself just so in order for Jing Yuan to hit all of the most sensitive spots inside of you.
One hand remains on your hip, helping you with the pace - the other remains on the back of your head, to allow him to kiss, as if he doesn’t want to let his mouth separate from yours for any longer than necessary. It’s a romance that you didn’t expect of the General, but it’s hardly one you’re going to complain about when his mouth feels so good and the constant nibbling of your lip and curl of his tongue against yours is distracting you from the mounting pleasure already starting to coalesce inside of you. 
There is nothing in the world for a while except Jing Yuan’s body underneath yours. His hands, his mouth, the feel of his shoulders beneath your own palms where you cling to him for leverage. You sweat and breathe and kiss and fuck as one, until the call inside of you becomes too much to ignore.
“I’m--” You pull back from the kiss to whisper, voice hoarse. “I’m going to--”
“Shh,” Jing Yuan says, kissing again. His own voice climbs in pitch, and you hear a shiver and a shudder in his syllables that makes you aware that he, too, is not far from his own release. His teeth nip at your lower lip as he half-begs into your mouth. “Please. Come again for me, sweet thing, little bird, pretty-- let me feel you--”
Your third orgasm crashes over you, your sex spasming around his cock, tight and hot and pulsing - and Jing Yuan groans into your mouth as you push him over the edge too, and you feel his cock spasm in turn. Ropes of hot release shoot inside of you; you had thought, earlier, that having his cock buried all the way inside of you was the extent of how full you could feel. 
You were wrong.
You bite at his lips, whining and half-sobbing, as the please encompasses you like a cloak of warmth. Jing Yuan groans in return, his hips making needy fast circles to chase the dregs of his own release. It feels right, for the two of you to peak together like this. For the two of you to chase every last drop of pleasure, entwined together and sweating and kissing and as close to one being as it’s possible to be.
Eventually, your breathing slows. Eventually, the kiss turns tender instead of frenzied. Eventually, you pull back from Jing Yuan with a foolish smile on your face and your cheeks hot and tears of pleasure (that you hadn’t even realised you had cried) rolling down your face like sparkling diamonds.
You stare at each other, the enormity of what has happened washing over you. Jing Yuan’s face is calm and serene, but his eyes are bright still, his cheeks still high in colour. 
You fear for a moment that he is about to dismiss you; that what the two of you just shared will mean nothing now that it is over. You fear that you’re about to go back to what you were before; a colleague and an employer, a General and a subordinate. But then, Jing Yuan lets out a deep rumbling sigh, pleased, as he collapses back upon the pillows. He opens his arms for you to dismount, his cock sliding slippery and wet outside of you, his come trickling down your thighs.
“Come here,” he murmurs, sounding tired but terribly pleased; the cat who has gotten the cream. He’s like a lion once more. You are helpless to resist his indication that he wants to cuddle, and so you let him pull you into his arms, let him manoeuvre you to lay against his chest until you can hear his heart beating. His fingers stroke your head, like you’re a sweet-tempered animal yourself. “Mmm. Rest with me, little bird.”
You let yourself. Your body is aching and sore from the orgasms and the sex, and you let your eyes drift closed, lulled by the comforting rhythm of his breathing. 
A sleepy kiss is dropped onto the crown of your head.
“Enjoy it whilst you can,” Jing Yuan hums. “Before we start having to make room for Mimi every night.”
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luvjunie · 1 year
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— headcanons. what life is like for miles!42
a/n: i honestly didn’t mean for these to get so angsty oopsies!! i kept adding on so they’re also very lengthy wc: 1,751
contains: mentions of grief
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Everyone thinks he’s rude and impossible to approach—but that’s a common misconception. In reality, he’s actually quite shy and simply prefers to keep to himself. His quiet nature often causes him to come off ill-mannered, which is completely unintentional on his end and partially the fault of those who assume what he’s like instead of actually getting to know him.
He used to be open to making friends and spending time with peers, but after everyone found out his dad died— which was impossible to prevent considering the man who used to drive him to school now had a giant mural made in his honor— he began receiving a ridiculous amount of pitied stares in the halls, began hearing hushed whispers about how hard things must be for him at home now. And even though they were, he hated that he was being treated differently by those he once kept close to him, like a charity case. As if he were fragile and would break— like he often did when he was alone.
His old friends were supposed to be his distraction, something to take his mind off how he now had to grow up faster than he’d liked. Something to remind him that his trauma hadn’t aged him as much as he feared; that he truly was still a kid at heart. But instead, they served as a constant reminder of the worst thing he’d ever had to live through— skated around him like he’d blow up the second they said the wrong thing; responded with heartfelt condolences instead of laughing with him whenever he’d tell a funny story about his dad. So eventually, he drifted away from them and began keeping to himself all together.
Don’t put him in a box because of his prowler side hustle, this boy is smart as hell!! Especially with one parent now being gone and his mom struggling to pay the bills? He takes his academics very seriously, he has no choice. He has to get it out the mud somehow and he doesn’t have the privilege of skipping classes as much as 1610-miles does. He’s working two years above his grade level in AP Calculus and AP physics, and has been accused of cheating on his tests a couple times due to how fast he completes them, as well as the fact that he has never once asked a question from the seat he chose in the back of the room.
It’s not something anyone would expect, but he enjoys baking a lot and he’s damn good at it too. When he was younger, he’d spent one summer with his Mamá Lena (Rio’s mother), who had him in the kitchen helping her cook and bake almost everyday and it just stuck. It’s a secret talent of his that never really comes up in conversation, and that you wouldn’t know about unless you’ve seen him doing it. His banana bread muffins using a recipe he took months to perfect taste like the gods themselves made them, and he’ll slip one into his mom’s work lunch whenever he makes them because he knows they’re her favorite.
He’s a lover boy at heart, if you were to look into his playlist, the songs you’d find in there probably wouldn’t be what you’d expect. Listens to bobby bland, which was heavily influenced by his uncle, old school rap, and he really likes love songs from the 90s because they make him feel calm, and allow him to imagine what his life would be like if he could have something like what they’re singing about. He’s terrified he’ll never be able to experience that due to his inability to open up to others. And often, he doesn’t even try to express the emotions that are tough to swallow, a firm believer in the saying that ‘once you’re down, it’s hard to get back up.’
Keeps his room pretty clean. It’s probably the one and only thing he has control over in his life, a constant for him. His room is his safe-haven so he treats it as such. It’s basically the same as 1610’s, just with a more matured look, a lot less color and less expression. He unfortunately lost that spark for a lot of his interests, so you won’t see more than a small punching bag, some boxing gloves hanging from the doorknob and few stragglers in the form of posters he didn’t feel like taking down.
He doesn’t like to argue, at all. He hates fighting with anyone he loves and he’s very quick to forgive them or squash the disagreement all together now that his dad is no longer here. When Jeff died, they were still on rocky terms from their previous dispute and even while years have passed, Miles still has yet to forgive himself for that. So now, he usually lets bygones be bygones, and never lets a conversation end on a bad note.
Continued growing his hair out once he realized it was a way for him to bond and spend more time with his mom. Within the little availability they do have, between her working doubles at the hospital, him being pulled in every direction now that he’s the ‘man of the house’—uncle Aaron’s words— and having to do things he’s not proud of to assist her while still going to school during the day, they make the time. Miles only gets it braided by her, and he enjoys the talks they have when he’s sat on the floor between her legs with his back to her. And when she’s done, regardless of how ridiculously embarrassing it is, and how he’s now over a head taller than her, he always lets her pinch his cheeks and call him her ‘handsome little man’. He hasn’t looked at a pair of hair shears since.
On that note, he is very, very defensive when it comes to his mother. Miles is not the kind to go around beating people up just for kicks; mostly because he’s not that kind of person, but also because even if he wanted to— he can’t.
In preparation for stepping into the prowler role Uncle Aaron put Miles into boxing/m.m.a classes when he turned fourteen, and he took to the skill very quickly. So well, in fact, that his hands can now technically be considered deadly weapons in the eye of the law due to his extensive training— which means he could get slapped with a ridiculous assault charge that would have him doing some time in a juvenile correction facility over a simple fist fight. (if he’s not masked as the prowler obviously).
But, some kid in his history class thought it’d be funny to make a slick comment about how Mrs. Morales was ‘single’ and ‘up for grabs’ now that his dad had passed, and the situation ended with Miles suspended for a week after he’d basically thrown his desk over to get to the kid, his knuckles bruised, and a tirade of complaints from the boy’s mother about his now-rearranged nose. However, after hearing the disgusting comment he had made about Miles’ mom, she was kind enough to not press charges and forced her son to apologize to the both of them.
That woman is his saving grace, literally. She stepped up in ways he didn’t even know were possible after his dad died, barely taking time for herself to grieve because she wanted to make sure her little boy didn’t fall apart. He doesn’t let anyone disrespect her and that’s always made known by him. He’s a mama’s boy.
They kind of have a titfortat thing going on, him and his mom. Like how she always stops in to ask him how his day was, if school is going well or if he needs anything, even if the time isn’t ideal and she’s talking to a sleepy Miles at 1am in the morning who can barely keep his eyes open. Or how his uniform is always freshly ironed and laid out for him in the morning, regardless of how exhausted she is and how badly she wants to crawl into bed after her shift. Or how when he’s sick, she’ll drive all the way across town to one of the only fresh markets that sells yuca root and white yautia so she can make him sancocho (a traditional puerto rican dish). It’s the one thing she knows always makes him feel better.
And Miles does nice things for her, too. Like draping a blanket over her sleeping form when she dozes off on the couch in front of the TV. Or making sure her phone is plugged in, so her alarm goes off in the morning, because sometimes she knocks out before she can bring herself to do it. He even goes as far as to secretly slip some extra cash he’s made from a recent job into the ‘RENT’ jar she keeps on her dresser— dropping a hundred in every now and then when she’s not there to see him do it. She’s never once asked him for help, but the one time he took it upon himself to offer it, he was shot down in seconds, and was made to promise her that he wouldn’t worry about it ever again. Her exact words being “You’re too young to worry about something like this mijo, okay? You take all the money you make from your after school job, every single penny, and you save it. Mama’s got this.”
But sometimes, she doesn’t. And Miles knows that she wants to be strong for him. For them. But it takes two, he knows that as well, so he helps out anyway.
And with prayers that they’re not short— Rio counts everything in the rent jar towards the end of the month, and a string of celebratory whoops and hollers will always sound from her room when she realizes they surprisingly have some extra cash that’ll allow her to take some days off and relax for once, and maybe even do something fun together. He’ll listen from his room with a knowing smile, more than happy to let his contributions remain undisclosed to affirm her efforts of providing for them the best she can. With her energy so depleted from how demanding her job is, she’s never suspected it was him discreetly assisting, and chalked it up to her forgetting how much she’d mindlessly dropped in there after each paycheck.
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syoddeye · 2 months
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consequence / ink
price x f!reader | 1.6k words series directory tags: alcohol, miscommunication (resolved) a/n: john is a down bad, as the youths would say. thank you to my beloved @/pfhwrittes for britpicking. ☕
her cast is gone. a sleeve hides the arm, but it’s clearly off.
john holds the door for a customer, unsure if he ought to take another step or retreat while he can. he tried to compose a text on the flight, on the drive, in the shower. a heads-up, a ‘hello, i’ve returned, i’m sorry, don't worry about my face when you see it’—but he couldn’t. somehow, he thought simply turning up would be better.
when she spots him, the look on her face says a text would’ve been the right call.
ah, well.
she glares over the other man’s shoulder as he pays. he’s truly awful because it only makes him happier to see her. if she didn’t care, her face would be a blank slate.
the man takes a short eternity to move to the end of the bar. john checks to ensure he isn’t holding up a queue he knows isn’t there, if only to buy another second—
“yurbeck.” she blurts out.
“sorry?”
slower, she repeats herself, “you’re back.”
“i am. you’re healed up.” 
“you’re not.”
the black eye he sports is ugly but faded. yellowish, with ugly splotches of blood still pooled beneath the skin. he’d like to say, you should see the other guy, but the bastard’s probably jaguar shit by now. instead, he shrugs. “looks worse than it feels. can we grab a drink when you’re off?”
she glances and frowns at her coworker, who’s clearly listening in over the noise of the espresso machine and sighs. her uncertainty is as plain as day.
“no.”
alright. damage control. he can fix this, he thinks, heart crashing into his gut. he didn’t leave her on bad terms. “listen, i know—”
she interrupts a second time. “we’ll go to mine.”
his mouth shuts, teeth clacking. he won’t argue with that.
~~
before you leave the café, you check your last exchange.
>> thanks for dinner the other night. i had a wonderful time. unfortunately, i won’t be by for a bit.
> ominous > prison?
>> not quite. work. i won’t be able to text.
> well don’t be gone too long > i might forget your order
it’s ridiculous, in hindsight, all your worrying over a man you assumed ghosted you. a regular you took a stupid leap of faith for. the shopping trip was a way to test the waters, and despite an awkward intensity he seemed desperate to hide and his bad jokes, john charmed you. even when you extended the exam to your place, he passed. no snide comments about cece or the decor. he helped with cooking without being asked. washed the dishes. it was a wonderful time. he said it. you believed it.
but two months isn’t ‘a bit’. it’s a disappearing act.
you say as much, as annoyed with yourself as you are with him. he quietly concedes he could have explained better. you tell him friends don’t go MIA for weeks. he laughs.
~~
“funny you should say that.”
“what?”
john stares hard at her profile as they walk. this part is always hard. pivotal. he puts it simply: “i’m in the military—special forces. that’s why i was ‘MIA’, as you put it.”
her brows raise, but she doesn’t falter. “oh.”
his lip curls. he’s been cussed out, fawned over, and ditched entirely for sharing his profession. no one usually reacts so little. it’s a divisive topic. everyone’s got an opinion. 
“that’s it? oh?” john echoes, trying to tease something out. he once listened to her harsh critique of the illegibility of packaging at the café—he cannot imagine her indifference as genuine. “you can ask questions, y’know.”
“okay. where were you? what were you doing?”
crawling on my belly through mud and fending off giant cockroaches. shooting. getting shot at.
“seeing the sights, meeting people.”
that withering glare returns, but it’s shorter-lived this time. she huffs. “see, i assumed ‘special forces’ means it’s the type of military business you don’t get answers about.”
“yes and no. i can’t compromise my clearance.”
“what can you tell me?”
he smiles when she sneaks a look, irritation giving way to curiosity. “i sunburn very easily.”
she snorts. “no way, not with that complexion.”
“and, i have thirty, forty mosquito bites where the sun doesn’t shine.”
john’s bruised cheek hurts from grinning as she laughs. this is the first time he’s heard it uninhibited, neither bitten back nor politely smothered by a hand. he needs to brush up on his humor. he needs to hear that sound more often.
“sorry. i’m a mess.”
john aligns their shoes and removes his jacket. it’s hardly messy. her flat appears mostly unchanged, except for the small mountain of citrus on her dining table. a single banana. she starts to sweep it into a plastic bin, but he catches a stray orange, and his thumb drags over an odd indentation. he turns it in hand, eyebrows pitching at the sight of a rose etched into the skin.
“is this…?” 
he watches her press a machine into a foam insert, then hurriedly zip a case shut. the look on her face clearly says he wasn’t supposed to see that. 
she takes the orange and shrugs. “something i’m having fun with. a new hobby.”
“solid work for a hobby.”
“don’t tease.”
“you’d know if i was.” 
she excuses herself to change after setting the bin aside, stepping over a wary cece. the cat stands guard at the mouth of the hall. unimpressed. he can practically hear the and where have you been?
john gives the cat a fond but tight smile. he’ll need to get in good with her again, too, it seems. he checks the water bowl before settling onto the couch. cece follows to investigate, her tiny black nose tapping his knuckles when he offers a hand. 
her aloofness swiftly melts after he coaxes her into his lap, though he suspects that the subsequent stabbing of her kneading paws is her brand of punishment. little thing seems to relish it.
“you can move her if she’s too much.”
his face lifts, and he wonders if the cat feels the palpitations in his chest.
given what he’s only just learned, he shouldn't be surprised, but the patchwork tattoos decorating her arms steal his breath anyway. the impulse to touch is instant. to trace every fine line and jealously ask where she had them done and by whom. 
he grips the arm of the couch hard, and cece pauses her biscuit-making, eyes half-lidded and judgmental. dismissing the cat, he nonchalantly places a throw pillow over his lap and scrubs a hand over his face.
the plot thickens.
“nice ink. didn’t realize you had any. makes sense.”
“yep. twenty-one. mm. no. twenty-two.”
far more than what the shirt shows. “any damage?” 
her head tilts as she cracks the refrigerator, pulling two bottles by their necks. “nope. don’t got anything there.”
john takes a beer as she plops down. she tucks her legs beneath, and he studies the artfully drawn black shapes on the one arm: a network of barbed thorns and flowers, a woman contorted into a skull, a mouse sleeping in a sardine tin, a stamp, and several stars.
“do you have any?” she asks, taking a swig.
nothing as lovely as hers. the first and last instance john had time to sit for a piece, he was clean-shaven and further from the thick of it. but she’s shown him hers; returning the favor is only polite. “one.” he sets the bottle aside to ruck up his left sleeve. she shifts, and the tips of his ears redden. fuck he wishes it wasn’t so—
“traditional. ha, had you pinned for the type. cute.”
cute. the ink has faded into muted tones, the lines softened. the mermaid’s once coy smile blurs into a vague shape, and now that he looks at it, the anchor’s shank is slightly crooked. the subtle, natural distortions of time make the mermaid perched in the curved arm of the anchor appear as aged as his face.
“can i?” 
she extends a hand. has she touched him before? intentionally?
“yes.”
her fingers follow the lines without an ounce of hesitation or hovering. the corner of her mouth quirks when john instinctively squeezes his bicep, the mermaid’s blue tail flexing under her thumb. he can’t tell what she’s thinking despite watching her pretty eyes. he simply laments he doesn’t have more to show her if only to keep her this close.
john’s focus narrows to the heat of her hand as it moves. he imagines five perfect ovals burning into his arm hair where she grabs and adjusts her view. that his skin might melt, and her palm would graft to his limb for all time, barring surgical intervention.
the first words out of her mouth in a minute are a bucket of cold water.
“six inches, right?”
“what?”
her gaze flicks up. “from the tip to the base?” a prolonged beat passes before she adds, “or, i guess, to the fins of her tail?”
she’s gonna be the death of me. 
“i think so.”
“it’s aged well.”
“ah. you’re taking the piss.”
“you’d know if i was.” she echoes. “i’m serious. i’m guessing it’s fifteen or twenty years old? it could look worse.” her nails scritch in a tight circle for a half-second, long enough that he might combust, but she pulls away and swirls her beer. “why’d you stop at one?”
“busy schedule. and i don’t want to be too identifiable.”
“yes. the chops are the subtler choice.” she smiles behind the bottle. “now i’m taking the piss.”
john thinks of precisely three responses to her cheek, none of which make it to his tongue. he sips slowly, catching on a slip of skin when she stretches, the hem of her shirt lifting just so. a tempting black line practically hooks his eye before it disappears.
“oh, you’re funny. got me curious, though. which one was your first?”
her legs straighten, and she pushes to her feet. “it’ll be easier if i show you.”
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shotmrmiller · 8 months
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okay so !!!! so what if you’re a jealous and possessive pet? like your boy tells you it’s okay to play with the other boys and the other pets and even encourages you like sucking their cock or riding them or eating out one of the other pets but the image of him doing that with someone else’s pet just shatters you. if they’re in a different room that’s bad but being able to see it happen is even worse. you can see the smile they give and the sounds they make and you thought you were special to them but it doesn’t feel like that — how would the boys reconcile something like that?
like knowing the other boys and pets are sharing and playing and you feel bad, especially when they’re all together and everyone is playing but your boy is the only one who’s not and it tears you up because you want him to enjoy and have fun but the thought of him kissing someone else or fucking them, finishing inside them… you could cry.
(bonus angst where one of the boys goes and visits another pet and comes back smelling like them, maybe marked and obviously fucked, and you hadn’t necessarily talked about that yet and it just crushes you and you refuse to sleep in the same bed as them for…. well, for awhile.)
UGH. YOU. I LOVE ANGST.
im a whore for hurt/no comfort so ill try to help write something here cuz if it was me, they can kick rocks. but its not. So.
for the first part, oh man. It's a bottle-it-in situation, imo, because i feel this in my soul. The low grunts you worked so hard to wrestle out of them are easily tumbling out of their mouth now, because of your hard work. It's something so gut-wrenching because that face of ecstasy should only be for you? Then the insecurities kick in. What if they're prettier, what if they're tighter, what if they're simply in another league altogether? (this is me as a hit dog that is hollering)
he's never treated your playdates as a chance to essentially cheat without cheating, he honestly only wanted you to make friends—wanted to expand on the kink you live and breathe by. But regardless, that's how it feels. And this is where the shutdown begins. The silence, the lack of enthusiasm for wanting to put on your collar, the distancing, and when he says, "Does my pet want to play with me today?" you burst into tears. Ugly sobbing, loud wails.
He freezes, for a second, because never in the time you've been together has he ever heard you cry like this. It's agonizing and when he immediately throws himself at your feet, he tries to cup your face with his large hands when you jerk yourself away from his touch.
You've never rejected his touch.
His heart cracks with hairline fractures because this is his love, his future that's falling into pieces in front of him and you don't even want his comfort. He lowers his hands and fists at the fabric of his trousers to hold back from reaching out to you.
For the first time in a long time, his eyes well with tears, and he swallows thickly, trying to open up his throat a bit to be able to say something, anything.
His voice warbles as he says, "Baby, talk to me." He gives you plenty of time to respond, but you don't. Once the tears are exhausted and your body is worn out, you simply turn your head to the side, eyes away from him. The tears that had distorted his vision now fall, dripping onto the cold floor he's still kneeling on. You don't even want to look at him.
"Talk to me, baby, please." His forehead touches your knee. "Please." His tone is desperate as he begs. The sight of a man who's killed people with his bare hands, sniveling by your feet pulls at your own heartstrings. Sigh.
"Would you like to know where you erred?" He whips his head up to look at you, nodding like an idiot.
"Your mistake, was assuming I wanted to share and be shared." He opens his mouth to say something, but you're not here to listen to him. He's here to listen to you.
"No. You presumed I wanted to the same as the other pets, just because we share the same kink? I had to sit there and watch— listen to you fuck someone else, and I couldn't say anything because then I would've been the buzzkill."
You clench your jaw and look directly into his eyes. "Do you know what it's like? No. You don't. You forget that the boys are your friends, your brothers in arms. Not mine. I sat with acquaintances, at best, and had to stomach whatever the fuck that was."
"I no longer wish to—" but he panics here, adapts a crazy-eyed look and cuts you off.
"No, no, no. Please, god no. You're my everything, you, I—" he hiccups, and his shoulders start to shake once he wraps his arms around your waist, and lowers his head onto your knees again, and chokes out, "I am nothing without you. Please."
Having cried all your tears, your sadness fades into sharp, biting anger. "It didn't seem like it though. You were quick to pass me around like some harlot. You're just gonna give me to anyone you see? Hm? What about the neighbor that has been hitting on m—" and he jerks his head back up, eyes deadly, dark with hostility.
"I'd fucking kill him for even having the audacity to ask if he could touch you the way I do."
Scoffing, you say, "And that's how I felt. Fucking strangers touching what should be only mine, kissing what is only mine," your tone turns hushed, "what I thought was mine, anyway."
Holding his gaze, you purse your lips. "I need time to think. You broke my trust. I'm not sure how to move forward from here."
--
this is too long im sorry uh, so he gives you all the time in the world, all the space you need, for which you're grateful. He's not overbearing, never crowds you. never says anything out of line. He seems fully repentant, dotes on you like his only reason for existing is to keep you as happy as you can feel. He tells you he loves you every bloody day, even if you don't repeat it back. He says it firm, unwavering.
And that's the balm that allays the pain in your heart. But you love him, still, so so much. With a deep breath, you tell him that you're not going to leave him, that you love him still and that's why it hurt the way that it did. But he'll have a ton of groveling to do.
The shaky smile he gives is full of relief. He pulls you to him, in an embrace so tight that you can barely even breathe. And after, he holds your face so tenderly, as if you're made of porcelain, and asks for a kiss, one you agree to. It conveys everything he's been sayings all this time, that he loves you.
and months pass, intimacy slowly turns back to what it was, but with reverent kisses and worship spilling from his lips. Words so sweet, that you break down in tears mid-act because you feel something finally shift back into place. Ofc, he freaks because "Darling, oh god, what's happened" but you pull him in for a kiss, and just tell him that you love him so much. His smile is soft as he says it back.
Then you pull out the collar again, and he panics but you calm him. That you feel ready. You want to play with your owner, and your heart is in his hands, to please take care of it.
A couple of tears fall from his eyes as he clicks your collar back around your neck and swears to never hurt you this way again.
Playdates turn into him being the only one to touch you and vice versa. And he answers to no one when they ask why.
i had a good time im sorry its so long I JUST LOVE ANGST PLEASE.
I hope i gave you what you were looking for ❤
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zaimta · 2 years
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Hey, can i request some friends to lovers relationship headcannons for Gray, Natsu and Loke from Fairy Tail with and fem!reader please
彡FRIENDS TO LOVERS
a/n- the crazy thing is this is a trope that would work for them the best, can you tell loke is my fave i went crazy on his
«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»«────── « ⋅ʚ♡ɞ⋅ » ──────»
GRAY
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unfortunately for you since y’all are friends he always walkin around in his drawls, he simply does not care
he makes fun of you to no end, and don’t let you talk about something he could care less about either
“shh shh wait you hear that y/n?” he cups his ear “i don’t hear anything??” “you see because that’s the sound of someone who gives a fuck.” you rose a brow “i don’t hear any- oh.”
he thinks he’s so funny
he’s actually thee worst person to go to for relationship advice, if he openly does not like the person you’re dating and you come to him about your problems he’s like “break up with them” with no type of hesitation
at some point, you had to stop goin to him for relationship advice and only talk to him for a good rant
even if y’all are real tight he won’t tell you about ur, until he goes to that moon island and the memories resurface for him, then he’ll tell you all about it
but he’s not a big sentimental guy so it’s a little hard for him but you’re glad to know he could trust you
when he catches feelings for you he denies it terribly, he could catch himself starin at you too long and he snaps his neck in the other direction with a quickness
and don’t let anyone mention it either because it becomes even more obvious
“what are you talking about?? me and y/n? nah we’re just friends…” he says while watching you laugh with your friends with a smile
refuses to ask anyone for advice, he hopes to suffer quietly and move on
he’s the type to confess on accident, probably during a quest and you almost get hurt really bad and he saves you, you try to brush it off n make a joke out of it and he gets mad at you for it
“you could have died back there y/n. do you have any idea how that would have affected us at the guild?! how it would affect me!?” he sighs before continuing “you drive me so damn crazy you know that? i can’t live without you.”
he indirectly confesses to you with that and y’all are basically dating
unsurprisingly he acts the exact same, the only thing that changes is the fact that if he teases you too much you can shut him up with a kiss and he’s always like “oh?”, he is very aware of his effect on you and will continue to annoy you for more kisses
when he strips down it’s way more annoying than when y’all were just friends because he teases you about it
“are y’a that crazy about me that you’re embarrassed y/n?”
a good hit upside the head will do the trick just fine though
he still won’t be able to open up about things easily though, after years of constantly trying to brush things off it doesn’t come naturally to him, but he appreciates that you’re there to listen
NATSU
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this trope was made for him actually
as his friend he would always drag you along to do all kinds of shit, he drags you along on quests 24/7 and trusts you to watch his back
if he starts a fight in the guild he always comes over to you smiling like an idiot whether he won or lost, constantly asking if you saw the new move he did or how cool he looked doin it
he’s at your house more than his own, he lives to annoy you first thing in the morning, he swears it’s funny but it’s not so funny anymore when he gets rocked for playing too much
he talks to you about igneel from time to time when something reminds him of his father or when he thinks of him just cause and he always tells you that igneel would love you if the two of you would meet each other
he’s not shy about his feelings towards you, he’s kinda obvious about them but not obnoxiously obvious about it, it’s clear to everyone else but not you because that’s just how he is
he would be around you more but it wouldn’t feel new because he was already around 24/7, but he would become slightly more touchy like throwing his arm around your shoulders n junk
he compliments you more too
“hey y/n! lookin good!”
eventually, y’all start jokingly flirting with each other, it goes on for a good while until you catch feelings. you try to ease up on the flirting but he keeps going so you admit that the flirting is getting to you and admit that you can’t flirt with him anymore if it’s not real and he says
“wait i thought we were already dating?”
once y’all are official things are more clear between the two of you, he screams “fun dates” guy so he loves going to nearby fairs with you on dates
he loves eating the food there and having you try some of the food
nap dates could be his thing too, you would have to talk him into it because staying still for long periods of time aint his thing, but when he comes over and he’s really tired he just wordlessly drags you into your bedroom and collapses on you and falls asleep immediately, run your fingers through his hair he loves that
his kisses have playful energy to them, you can feel him smiling into the kiss and it’s the cutest thing ever
when he tells you about igneel it’s different from when y’all were just friends, he talks about you meeting him, and him showing you off to his father knowing that he would love you as much as he does
LOKE
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y'all would be real close, when he was interested in he would tell you immediately which happened literally every day, he would be like
"hey you see that girl over there? i think I'm gonna go talk to her"
and you would never be able to talk him out of it either
but at the same time, he would keep certain things from you like him being a celestial spirit, he was planning to never tell you about it till his time was up, as he feels his time fading he's filled with regret, instead of telling you how he felt he just ignored his feelings with other women and in the end he wasn't even able to tell you that he loved you
when lucy makes a contract with him, she insists that he goes and confesses his feelings for you
"we all know loke, y/n might not have noticed but we see the way you look at her…and ironically you don’t see the way she looks at you either” his eyes widen, and lucy extends her hand to him “go get her”
his confession is the sweetest thing ever
with encouragement from lucy, he wasted no time running back to the guild, he almost tripped a couple times from the brute force of his start but he didn’t care he needed to see you. he burst into the guild hall out of breath “where is y/n?!” he shouted. the other guild members crowed around loke wondering what happened, asking him about his new look, and wondering why he ran out of the guild earlier “there’s no time for that dammit where is y/n?” cana spoke over the crowd “she’s on her way home to i would go get her now before she moves on if i were you!”
he started running once again by the time he found you, you were a few steps from your house before he shouted “y/n!!” causing you to stop in your tracks at the sound of his voice “loke?” he ran up to you and sweeped you into a hug, he hugged you so tight as if you were going to disappear “i won’t leave you like that again i promise.”
the two of you share a kiss and he tells you everything, he talks about him being a celestial spirit, he tells you ab the previous wizard he made a contract with and why he made up the identity “loke”
from there he tells you his real name, and every time you say it he gets butterflies
as for y’all’s relationship he’s often out of the celestial world hanging out with you on days he’s not on lucy’s schedule
out of respect for lucy y’all never have anything planned on the days he’s contracted, and out of respect she doesn’t call him when she knows y’all are busy, she is y’all’s biggest supporter
when he’s seen around the guild he’s normally seen with you close by, his arm will always be around you one way or another whether it’s your shoulder or waist it’s gonna be there
as the king of the zodiacs, he often calls you “my queen”
he seems like the beach date type, but not during the day during the night time so y’all can see the stars, he points out his constellation
“if there’s ever a time i’m not able to be with you the stars will always be by your side.”
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mattatouilletkachuk · 3 months
Note
could you do number 2 with nico? thanks!
Hidden Away With You || Nico Hischier
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Prompt: . 2. “Is now a bad time to mention that I’m claustrophobic?”
WC: 1k+
A/N: This is literally just fluff. Tooth rotting fluff.
Summary: You brought your boyfriend, Nico, home to meet your family. Somehow you end up hiding away and stuck in a room nobody ever goes into with just yourself and Nico, your boyfriend who takes up too much space
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For the weeks leading up to you bringing Nico back to your hometown to meet your family, you had a pit in your stomach that grew larger and larger. You loved your family, truly. However, you would be remiss to mention that your family could be a bit much.
You also loved Nico and you knew that he loved you, otherwise, why would he choose to spend a week with you in the town that you grew up in with people he didn’t know when he could be back home in Switzerland with his own family? He already doesn’t get the see them that much due to him living in another country for most of the year.
That’s not what you were feeling guilty about, though. You’re parents had decided to host a barbecue with the few neighbors that they had been friends with for years and it had finally gotten to the point where they had started swapping embarrassing stories about their children. You knew it was coming and you thought you would be able to handle it. After all, you had heard the same rendition of your mortifying childhood choices every year.
You forgot to factor Nico into all of that, though. You would have fathered your parents pass around the picture of you from the third grade when you had a horrible haircut due to Timmy Devlin sticking a wad of gum in it during class. You could have stomached Nico seeing the picture of an eight-month-old you smiling as you proceeded to roll around in your own waste.
The stories, though, you booked it back inside when your mother brought up your first date and how you had chickened out of it. The stories that followed after that would only get worse. You knew from experience, but how could you look your boyfriend in the eye while he heard about all the mistakes you made and mishaps you found yourself in? Would he laugh along with everyone else? Would he look at you differently?
You didn’t know and you didn’t want to find out. So under the guise of getting more ice, you snuck down the hall that was opposite the kitchen and squeezed your way into the small half-bathroom. You knew that if someone were to come looking for you it would take them a while. The bathroom you were currently holed up in hadn’t worked for years. You were so certain of it that you didn’t even shut the bathroom door as you sat on the toilet lid and buried your head in your hands.
You would find the courage to go out there eventually but right now you wanted to stew in your own self-loathing. Not for the first time you wondered why you couldn’t have just acted somewhat normal as a child. You remembered the last boyfriend that you had brought home to meet your parents. You thought you were safe from the stories because it was the winter holidays and you had assumed, wrongly, that they would be focused on literally anything else other than embarrassing you. You were wrong again and by the time it was time for you and your boyfriend to head back to the city, you hadn’t heard from him again after he went home.
You didn’t want that to happen with Nico. Unlike with the boy before him, you would truly be devasted if Nico ended things after this. The other guy had simply ghosted you and if Nico decided to leave you, you decided that that was how you wanted him to do it. You couldn’t handle listening to him tell you why he thought it was the best the two of you stopped seeing each other.
Before you could spiral further into the scenarios you built up in your head you heard your name being called. You were going to ignore it until you noticed the heavy accent.
You perked up a little as you called out, “I’m in here, Neeks!”
The footsteps came quickly down the hallway and before you knew it your boyfriend stood in the doorway to the small bathroom. His thick eyebrows were scrunched in concern and his eyes were warm but worried as he took you in. Before you could say anything he stepped into the already small bathroom and went to close the door.
“No-,” you tried to say before he shut it but you were too late. He had closed the door and because of the size of the bathroom, there was barely an inch between the two of you.
His eyes were wide at your shout, clearly not expecting a reaction quite like that. “What? What did I do?”
You could already feel your heart start to race at the close quarters. It wouldn’t be long now until you started to sweat.
“The door handle for the bathroom is broken. It has been for years but my parents never thought to fix it because no one uses this bathroom. Everyone uses the one upstairs.”
Nico looked at you, the confusion still evident on his face. So you decided to be as blunt as you could be, “it won’t open from the inside. Someone has to open it from the outside. We’re locked in here!”
Nico glanced at the door and tried to hide his grimace. He wasn’t claustrophobic but this was a small bathroom, barely big enough for two people.
“So we’ll just call your parents,” Nico suggested, already going to pull out his phone to call your parents.
You just shook your head and tried to control your breathing. The reality of being in a small space that you couldn’t get out of was finally hitting you and you felt like you might vomit or faint.
“You won’t be able to,” you said, your voice shaking. “There’s no reception on this side of the house. Don't ask why, I don’t know.”
“Okay,” Nico said soothingly, but you could see in his big brown eyes that the predicament that the two of you were in was finally settling in for him. “I’m sure that someone in your family will realize that we’re missing and come looking for us.”
You loved his unrelenting optimism but right now, as horrible as it may sound, you kind of wanted him to start panicking as well.
“Neeks, everyone was already several cups deep when I left. They likely forgot we were there or thought we went to be alone.”
He sighed, defeated. His shoulders slumped and he leaned back against the burgundy-painted walls. You wished that you could find it in you to say something that might lift his spirits but just as you were about to say something you felt suddenly dizzy, reaching out behind you to grab the sink to steady yourself.
“Uhm, Nico?” Your voice is quiet and weak ask you attempt to get your boyfriend's attention. You immediately have his attention. The bathroom door is forgotten temporarily. “Is now a bad time to mention that I’m claustrophobic?”
His arms wrap around your middle and pull you against his chest before your shaky legs give out beneath you. You close your eyes and turn your face into Nico’s chest. His shirt is still warm from the sun outside and his vanilla and wood scent mixed with the few beers he shared with your family is a soothing balm for your racing heart.
You try to focus on him and only him. He lets you melt into him and stands quietly for a few minutes as you slowly sync your breathing to his.
“I’ve got you sunneschii,” he says, his voice quiet. There’s no need for him to whisper it but it makes his words feel more personal even though it’s only the two of you in the room.
When you finally trust yourself to speak without stuttering, you look up into his warm eyes and everything else around you melts.
“What does that mean?” You attempt the foreign word and know the second you see his dimples and boyish grin that you butchered the word.
He hums and tucks a stray piece of hair behind your ear. Before he can answer your question there is a loud knock on the door and your brother’s voice shouting your names.
“Saved at last,” he says in the same tone before calling out to your brother to let him know that the two of you were indeed trapped.
The door handle jiggles and your brother throws himself into the door to open it. He smiles cheekily thinking that he walked in on an intimate moment between you and Nico. It was intimate but not in the way he thought. I’m any other situation you would have rolled your eyes, probably even flipped him off but he did just free you from the confines of the bathroom.
“Thank you,” Nico’s voice is heavy with his accent as he calls out to your brother.
He gives a mock salute in the direction of the two of you and you just know that he’s going to be going back outside and telling your parents what he thought he saw. It would likely end with Nico having to sleep in the guest bedroom. It’s not that would actually stop you if you wanted to see your boyfriend in the middle of the night.
You were the first to step out of the bedroom with Nico following behind you. You were trying to figure out if you were going to try and tough it out in the backyard with your family and their friends again or make a run for it to your bedroom.
You hadn’t come to a decision when Nico grabbed your waist and spun you around to face him again. His large hands slid up your body to grasp your face in his hands. There was a need in his big brown eyes.
You brought your own hands up to cover his as his thumbs started rubbing small circles onto your jaw.
“What are you thinking, baby?”
The question was soft, almost a sigh. He didn’t answer right away, simply leaning down and placing a kiss on your forehead. He didn’t move back, instead, he ran his nose down your cheek and planted another kiss on your jaw, right where his thumb was a second ago.
“I think we should tell everyone that all that sun made us tired and go up to your bedroom.”
Your cheeks filled with heat at his bluntness. You had been thinking the same thing but you hadn’t said it out loud.
You waited a minute to get a hold of yourself. Finally, you managed to say, “Fine, but you have to tell my parents. I refuse to look them in the eyes after that last story they told about me.”
It was only then that Nico finally pulled away. His laughter rang throughout the hall away and the disappointed look you gave him only made him laugh harder. You quirked your lips up, not at the story that was replaying in your head, but from your boyfriend's carefree laughter.
“Sneaking your boyfriend in at fifteen and then hiding him in your closet,” he tried to say as he caught his breath. “You had to know that wouldn’t work.”
You groan as if you’re irritated but you hit him lightly on the chest to let him know that you aren’t actually upset. “I was a kid!”
Nico raises his hands in defense but his smile is on full display. “As long as you don’t make me hide in a closet tonight, I don’t care what happened to your old boyfriends.”
You roll your eyes and grab his hand as you walk out of the little hallway and to your bedroom. Maybe no one would notice you two were gone. Maybe they would. You didn’t really care anymore.
“Good choice but I have the right to banish you to the closet anytime I want tonight,” you tease.
“I’ll just cuddle with your brother,” he shoots back. It makes you laugh and you don’t even try to hide it.
“After the trauma, I just went through!” You gasp, but jokingly say, “You would trade me in for my brother?”
You’re outside of your bedroom door now and you're still holding Nico’s hand in yours. His thumb is rubbing circles onto yours. You don’t think he’s conscience of what he’s doing but it still brings a small smile to your lips.
“Traumatic event?” Nico asks instead, leaning against the wall.
His eyes flutter and his cheeks are still warm from the sun. Despite your parents warning you about not having any “funny business” while you’re here, you look at Nico and think that it won’t be a problem. You feel comfortable and warm inside just by being in his presence and it is obvious to anyone that as soon as Nico’s head hit a pillow he would be out like a light.
“I got trapped in a small bathroom. It was very traumatic,” you pout up at him and his smile is lazy but sweet. “I was so scared.”
Nico opened the bedroom door and led you in, “Come here, then. I’ll hold you while we nap so the scary bathroom doesn’t come to get you.”
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riki-riks-chick · 4 months
Note
hihi 🙋🏻‍♀️
this may seem like an odd request but ill try my best to explain it 😭 have you ever watched jennifers body? Could you please write reader with a personality like Jennifer Check with a Heeseung boyfriend? like not related to the initial lore but more of a just overly confident hot girl who everyone wants but can’t have, with her gloomy tall boyfriend?
sorry if this doesn’t make sense 😭
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Sunshine And Rain ┃L.HS
antisocial!heeseung x overlyconfident!reader
heeseung is a bit of a loser and feels he's not cool enough for his popular girlfriend
fluff! small kisses, self-doubt, reassurance, yn loves her loser bf, grumpyxsunshine trope kinda
wdct: 2k
ty for the request i kinda like this one 💚
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Third Person POV~
Nights in Hongdae were always some of the best. You could walk around in whatever skimpy clothes you dared to put on, and no one would question it. You could also drink your ass off without any worries because it's the weekend and you don't have to get up for work the next morning.
Your friends invited you out, telling you all about how you guys could have so much fun if everyone brought their boyfriend to make sure you guys were safe the whole night.
You were especially excited because you had finally convinced your boyfriend to go out with you. He wasn't thrilled of course, but you promised not to force him to be social, and he agreed.
You're currently at the second club of the night and its 10pm. Heeseung has probably only had a few drinks, but you're well over tipsy.
You were sitting at the bar together, though Heeseung was hardly paying attention to you, and some man came up to you.
"Aren't you a pretty little thing?..." He smiled and you rolled your eyes. "Sorry, I'm taken. Sorry for you though, I'm not sorry I'm taken.." You respond cockily and the man scoffs. "I don't see a boyfriend around."
"He's right here." You gesture towards Heeseung who's to your right, turning to stare at the man attempting to court you, his hand is resting lightly on your waist. "Yeah, like this loser is your boyfriend. What are you a hooker? Do you sleep with losers like him for cash?"
Heeseung's hand tightens against your hips before he pulls back, standing up from his chair. "If I were you, I'd walk away." His voice was low, and deep. You'd always get excited whenever he got jealous or protective.
The man clearly wasn't taking you or Heeseung seriously because he scoffed out a laugh, taking another sip from his drink. "Listen, sweetheart... I'm not convinced by whatever this is that you and this boring fellow are up to.. Come home with me and I'll show you a real good time.."
Heeseung sighs against your ear, grabbing the man by the collar as you grab his wrist, simply shaking your head. You then push Heeseung behind you, glaring at the man. "Listen here... You're the real fucking loser and if you don't take your dumb ass away from me in the next five seconds, I'll find your facebook page and tell your wife that you like to spend time trying to fuck other people's girlfriends." You speak straight up and forward, making the man's eyes widen. "Wife? I don't have a wife!"
"Says the ring on your finger. Now fuck off." You then grabbed Heeseung's hand, pulling him towards the dance floor, your drink clutched in your right hand. He made sure to grab your clutch when you started tugging on his arm.
"Baby.. You know I don't like dancing.. It's too crowded.." Heeseung speaks into your ear, making sure you can hear him over the bass of the loud music. You simply pull him closer, taking another sip of your cosmo. "Hee, baby.. That's the fun part. You get an excuse to be pressed against me in public without anyone noticing or caring."
He simply chuckled at your slurred explanation, spinning you around so he could pull your back to his chest. He held your hips gently, swaying you against him. "I don't deserve you.."
"Oh shut up, if I wasn't dating you I'd be with some perverted asshole who only wants to fuck me." You reassure, reaching back to place your hand on his nape, making him rest his head against your shoulder.
"Why didn't you wear the outfit I picked out for you?" You finally question and Heeseung chuckles, pressing a soft kiss to your neck. "The shirt was too brightly colored, and the pants were uncomfortable.." He mumbles, wrapping his arms around your waist as he nuzzles against your neck. "Baby.. The shirt was light blue. That's not bright. You need to wear something other than black for once."
"I like the clothes I wear." He responds, and you can tell there's a pout in his voice. You simply smile, ruffling his hair. "If you like it, so do I.."
The night continues on as Heeseung continues to follow you and your friends around Hongdae. He's been mostly silent tonight except for his small conversations with you. On occasion he exchanged a few words with your best friend's boyfriend, only because he'd met him before and felt it would be rude to ignore someone he knew.
Once it hit midnight, you decided to part from your friends, not wanting to overwhelm Heeseung too much.
He took you to a convenience store to get you some water, and a hangover drink before simply just walking with you. Pretty street lights illuminating the streets, nicely colored signs all around you. Your hand is in his and he's smiling at you. Nights out are always so much better when he's with you.
There are a few stragglers walking around and Heeseung can tell that all eyes are on you as you walk by.
You've been dating for almost two years now, and he feels like he should be used to it, but he doesn't like that he never has you to himself. And it's not your fault because you're naturally outgoing and confident, it has nothing to do with how pretty you are. He's extremely lucky to be with not just the prettiest girl, but the most lovely and caring girl as well.
You've always been genuine with Heeseung, defending him whenever anyone tried to question why such an outgoing girl was with such an introverted guy. He fell harder each time you explained that his social life didn't matter as long as you were apart of it.
And now he's watching you walk confidently, heels sounding delightfully against the pavement. He doesn't even know how you're still wearing heels when you've been walking and dancing in them for hours now.
He's pulled from his thoughts when he feels you stop walking. "Heeseung... Do you wanna hang out in this cafe for a little while? It's been awhile since we've been to this cafe together.."
He couldn't say no to you if he tried, so he nodded, opening the door for you and letting you walk in. Even though it had been a long time since the two of you had been here, he still knew your order by heart. He ordered for the both of you before leading you to a quiet booth in the corner. He let you sit down before sliding in beside you.
"Did you have fun tonight?..." He questioned, wanting to start a conversation with you after being mostly silent. "I did.. But I was worried about you.." You reply, glancing up at him. He raises an eyebrow. "Why? I've been okay.."
"I feel bad dragging you around with me sometimes.. I know you don't really like clubbing.. Plus all the guys that approach me. I don't like when people disrespect you." You take his hand in yours, squeezing it gently as he smiles, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "Baby, you don't have to feel bad. I'd do anything for you, you know.. It doesn't bother me when other guys try to talk to you.. You're a very wonderful woman, and I can't blame them.."
You smile at his words, giving him a kiss. "You're always so sweet, Heeseung... But really, I promise that next weekend I won't go clubbing.. It'll just be us. Okay?" He nods, caressing your cheek. "Okay then, we'll do that."
The two of you spend the next hour in the cafe, talking and laughing together. When you finally get up to leave, the barista stopped you. "Hey, could I get your number?"
You simply scoffed, grabbing Heeseung's hand before leaving the cafe. Heeseung was slightly shocked. Usually you'd come up with some cocky response to turn guys down, but you simply walked away.
You were quiet afterwards, and Heeseung didn't know what to say. You stayed silent until the two of you finally got back home.
You kicked your heels off at the door, dropping your coat, which Heeseung gladly picked up for you.
"Heeseung, I'm gonna shower.. Do you wanna join?" You asked, glancing back at him as he followed you towards your bedroom. He simply nodded, setting your coat on the dresser, his own following.
You disappeared into the bathroom, taking off your makeup while Heeseung set out some clothes for the two of you to wear after showering.
He then joined you in the bathroom, turning on the shower before pulling his shirt over his head.
He then moved to stand behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist as he nuzzled into the crook of your neck.
You smiled, finishing taking off your makeup before washing your face.
Heeseung's hands were already working on unzipping your skirt, tugging it past your hips to let it hit the floor. He then pulled your shirt over your head, dropping it as he turned you around to face him, pressing his lips softly against yours.
You kissed back, sliding your hands up his sides as he cupped your jaw, tugging you closer.
Eventually he pulled away, kissing your forehead. You finished undressing before stepping into the shower. The water was warm and you already felt so much relief from the slight headache you had.
Heeseung pressed you against the wall, catching you completely by surprise as you stared up at him. "What?..."
"What's the matter? You're never this quiet.." He mumbles, his tone filled with worry. You simply sigh, reaching up to ruffle his hair. "I'm fine. I'm just tired." Your excuse is definitely not going unnoticed by Heeseung, he shakes his head, cupping your cheek. "Are you upset with me?.. I'm sorry if it's embarrassing having people talk about you because of me.." He asks, saying the words with no expression.
"Heeseung, I'm not embarrassed of you. And I'm definitely not upset with you. Stop saying nonsense." You speak firmly, gripping his wrist as he nodded. "Okay.. I'm sorry." He apologizes, smiling weakly as he pulls away.
You tug him back by his hips, staring up at him. "Now you seem upset... Hee, baby.. You know that I love you no matter what others think. Right?"
He nods, though the motion seems hesitant, and you sigh, running a hand through your hair. "If it makes you feel better, I won't force you into coming with me anymore.." You suggest, but he shakes his head. "I enjoy being with you, I just wish I wasn't such a loser.. That way people would think that you have a cool boyfriend.. Someone who's not afraid to have fun or socialize.."
His words make you scoff. You cup his cheeks, pulling him closer so he was only a few inches away. You kissed his forehead before pulling back to stare into his eyes. "Lee Heeseung.. I don't give a fuck about what others think.. I only care about you. And I like that you're a little boring at times, it's a good contrast for me.. You're like the rain to my sunshine.. You're perfect and nothing will ever change that.."
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ive never seen Jennifer's Body so I hope I displayed yn's personality right 🫣
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callme-holly · 3 months
Note
Hiii! I hope ur having a wonderful day/night <33
Do you think you could do the gang (separately) with a reader who's a drag racer? Like they built their own car and everything?
Pls make sure you're eating well and drinking plenty of water!
(This is also my first request ever if you couldn't tell 😭)
The Gang Dating A Drag Racer [the outsiders x drag racer! reader]
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authors note - I actually loved writing this, I wont lie. I'm still working through requests but exams are done now so I should be little more on it with posting :) word count - 1.1k
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Darrel Curtis - 
I can see you two meeting through Sodapop.
His brother goes to a lot of drag races with Steve and when the two boys see you, they instantly know they have to introduce you to Darry. 
Imagine them just bouncing up to you at the end of your race and giving you a phone number, telling you to call it as soon as you get home.
Obviously, you do, and Darry is the one to answer. He’s understandably a little confused at first but the two of you seem to fall into conversation easily and before you know it, he’s being called away by one of the gang because he’s “been on the damn phone for too long, and dinner is getting burnt”
He’ll tag along to your next race after work and that’s the first time you see him.
He’ll be all smiles and will ask you out on a date while the boys cheer him on in the background
When you two actually start dating, he tries to go to all of your races 
He’s insanely protective over you and will spend most of the race freaking out then cheering you on
He does not care whether you win or lose, as long as you’re okay
If you need help with your care, he’ll do his best and will pick up any parts you need on his way home from work
Sodapop Curtis - 
This boy fell in love with you the second he saw you get out of your car and instantly started gushing over you
He’ll go to every single of your races just to stare at you before Steve finally gets sick of it and forces him to ask you out
You two are so perfect together, I can’t even
He is your biggest supporter and your number one fan like he’s cheering the loudest out of everyone
He’ll brag about you to everyone. He’s just so proud to call you his <33
Soda will help you fix your car whenever you need and he loves driving around with you so much
You need something for your car? No problem, baby, he’ll get it for you! 
Overall he’s just incredibly supportive and he loves you a whole lot. 
Ponyboy Curtis - 
Much like Darry, I can see Pony caring more for your safety than whether or not you win your races
Sure, he thinks it’s cool and all, but it’s not really his thing and if he comes to watch you, he’ll stand at a safe distance away so he’s not caught up in the crowds 
Afterwards, he’ll come and find you and he’ll give you a small, reassuring hug, though it’s more for his sake that yours
He loves watching you work on your car
He’ll very rarely help out thought because, let's be honest, he wouldn't have a clue what he’s doing
But I can see him just sitting a few feet away, book in hand as you work
Johnny Cade - 
You two were probably introduced by Dallas, mainly because Johnny very rarely hangs around at the race track
The big crowds and the noise just isn’t his thing, but after he finds out about you, he’ll stay at the fence line and watch, just to make sure you’re okay
He’ll let you come to him at the end of your race, and when you do he’ll just pull you in for a big hug, regardless of whether others are watching
If you’re fixing up or adding to your car, he’ll sit quietly and watch
He doesn’t really understand what you’re doing, but that doesn’t bother him. He’s simply happy to be next to you
It’s the same as when you rant to him about different cars and all the parts. 
He doesn’t have a  clue what you’re saying, but he’ll nod along and listen nonetheless. 
Dallas Winston - 
He honestly thinks you’re so hot and will brag about you to no end
He’ll go to every single one of your races, and he’ll sit looking smug throughout the entire thing
He isn’t afraid to let people know that your his, especially if you win
The minute you’re out of your car, he’s by your side, slinging an arm around your shoulders and pawing at you before anything other guy even has the chance to look at you
He’ll steal all the car parts you need, just tell him what you need, at he’ll be gone 
Dallas probably won’t help you fix up your car, instead, he’ll probably do the opposite
He’ll stand behind you with his arms wrapped around your waist, doing anything and everything he can to get your attention
I can see him knowing a fair bit about cars; he probably picked shit up from his short time in new york as a kid 
He tries to listen when you rant to him, but he has a bad habit of zoning out 
Steve Randle - 
YOU TWO ARE SO PERFECT
Steve is your number one supporter, dare I say even more so than Soda
He’s going to every single one of your races, no matter what
He’ll be screaming and cheering the loudest for yu and he will brag about you to everyone else around
Your guys’ go-to date is either working on your car together or going to some local car show
You can both talk for hours and hours about different types of cars and their parts and it honestly drives that gang insane
Steve has definitely got a spot in the garage at the DX for you so that you can work on your car at the same time as he’s working 
If you win your race, he’s running over to you and twirling you around without hesitation, peppering your face with kisses
He’s so in love with you, it’s almost sickening <33
Two-Bit Mathews - 
Once again, your biggest support
I know I said Steve would scream and cheer loudly, but this boy is a whole new level
He’s jumping up and down and calling your name the second you step out of your car before running over to you and giving you the biggest hug
He’ll probably also brag about you, but only because he’s super proud of you
Honestly wouldn’t trust him to help fix up your car, however, he will go and retrieve anything you need
If you’re working for too long, he will get bored and he will come and bug you until your attention is on him once more
He’ll listen to you talk for hours just to see you smile and sometimes he’ll join in just for the sake of conversation
He’ll try and pretend he knows what he’s talking about, but he doesn’t know shit about cars other than the fact they look cool and you look damn hot when you’re driving one
He tries for you though <3333
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hannie-dul-set · 1 year
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THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF.
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p — CHOI BEOMGYU x gn! reader. g — humor, fluff. w — swearing, beomgyu is embarrassing but that's nothing new with my recent works. 1.6k words.
note — inspired by this post. i'm supposed to be studying rn.
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everyone in your department knows that choi beomgyu is not to be trusted.
no, it’s not like he scams people with overpriced products on the university buy and sell forum. he doesn’t give you wrong answers during tests to fuck you over. he isn’t seeing multiple people at once behind their backs like a shitty fuckboy, either.
but when choi beomgyu tells you that there’s a buy one take one promo at the coffee shop near campus, you should probably think twice before rallying your friends over because of your shared coffee addiction. it’s the reason why hueningkai showed up to a department party last month wearing a penguin costume when the theme was business-casual. it’s the reason why choi yeonjun sends a string of curses to the group chat bi-weekly because he’s told that there’s a quiz today, only to arrive at an empty classroom.
it’s all harmless. it’s all fun and games and for a good laugh— but nevertheless, everyone knows to think twice before listening to the honeyed words that fall from choi beomgyu’s mouth. the problem is, the bastard is charismatic and he knows it. “he’s weaponizing his pretty face like a motherfucking gun,” you mentioned to soobin one time. so even if people are ware that he’s slimy little bitch that likes to fuck around a lot, they still listen to what he says. even when in doubt.
well, they��re all fucking stupid.
“hey, let’s compare hand sizes!”
and you refuse to be branded as a gullible idiot, too.
“what?”
the sandwich you’re having for lunch suddenly feels dry on your tongue. “gimme your hand,” he insists, and you narrow your eyes at him. what...what the fuck is this bastard trying to do? “i wanna know whose is bigger.”
now, that’s a familiar line. it almost made your heart flutter when he’s batting his eyes at you so expectantly with that pretty face of his from across the cafeteria table, the fingers of his right palm outstretched and ready to catch yours upon your consent.
almost. but there’s no way in hell you’re humoring his dumb ass.
“sure,” you respond. and, after wiping your lips with a napkin, offer out your open palm for him in the air.
his face brightens— a tiny smile pulling at his lips.
beomgyu reaches out for your hand. before he can press his palms against yours, you quickly fold it into a middle finger.
it’s almost funny how his expression quickly tumbles into despair.
“eat shit, motherfucker.”
you clean up your tray and leave your dumbfounded friend behind. you have no idea what his intentions with that was, but you aren’t risking making a fool out of yourself at the suggestion that beomgyu might be trying to (pathetically) hit on you. he’s probably just concocting some more mischief— especially since you’re one of the people he has yet to victimize with his dumb jokes.
so you’re not surprised when he makes another attempt. but what you don’t understand is why he keeps trying to hold your hand.
“booooring. this class is so boring.”
he’s sitting next to you inside the lecture hall. so far, not that out of the ordinary. you do your best to catch up with your professor’s discussion, but from the corner of your eyes you see beomgyu finally giving up and melting his head into the desk, burying his face into his arms. “this sucks,” he muffles, before craning his head and you can feel him staring at you from below. “aren’t you bored?”
“i’m trying to pay attention, beomgyu.”
“pay attention to me,” he whines. “i’m bored. let me scribble on your hand to pass—”
“please shut the fuck up.”
at some point, it’s starting to confuse you more than annoy you. all signs lead to a boy simply trying to get the attention of his crush, but this is choi beomgyu you’re talking about. you just can’t trust him. not even when he always tries to follow you around in the hallways. not even when he drops a warm latte at your desk every 7AM class.
“i know how to do palm reading. do you wanna—”
“i’m not superstitious,” you immediately put up your shield to his spear. “thanks for the coffee.”
you really don’t understand him.
“there was a hit and run incident yesterday. you should hold onto me just to be—”
“red light. let’s go.”
you seriously don’t fucking get him.
“aaaah! i’m falling! grab my hand, i’m falling to my death!”
what the hell is he trying to do?!
“beomgyu, it’s a four-foot deep pool,” you deadpan, face flushed and it’s definitely not just from the heat of the sun. he perishes into the water with a splash. my god, what’s going on with him? you shake your head, trying to ward off an incoming headache. 
really. if this wasn’t beomgyu doing this shit, you’d be a hundred-percent convinced that he’s trying to make a move on you. that he likes you and is trying his stupidest to catch your attention. but it is beomgyu, and everyone knows he can’t be trusted unless you want to be laughed at. being this week’s joke isn’t on your bucket list. so no matter how many more attempts he’s going to make, you will be impenetrable. you will not be fooled.
“hey.”
that is until he shows up all serious in front of your classroom the next week. 
students are pouring out from the door, and you’re a heavy obstacle from their rush to go home because for some reason, choi beomgyu is there— also obstructing the traffic flow in the hallway. 
“what is it now?” you cross your arms, narrowing your eyes at the worryingly large bouquet he has in his arms. “are your hands cold? do you want me to hold them to keep you warm?”
“that would be nice,” he replies. you seriously want to hit him. “but, no. that’s not what i’m here for. i decided that it might be best to stop asking for your hand because you might actually punch me this time.” this is a public area, you’d like to remind him. and that dangerously constructed statement of his is eliciting murmurs from the passersby surrounding you. you feel your face flush. 
“if you phrase it like that, people are going to get the wrong idea.”
“let them misunderstand, i don’t really care,” he shrugs. “what i care about is clearing up the misunderstanding between you and me. i don’t think we’ve been on the same page for the past few weeks.”
you furrow your brows. “what are you getting at?”
“taehyun told me that you think i’ve just been fucking around with you,” he says. “and i have to admit that i definitely have nothing to blame but myself and my reputation. but i want to tell you that i have been seriously, seriously serious about you.”
“sure,” you snort. “i definitely trust you, beomgyu.”
he frowns. “dammit, taehyun was right. you really don’t trust me.”
what did he expect? for the past year and a half that you’ve known him, he’s been nothing but unserious and troublesome. beomgyu brings mischief wherever he goes and you don’t want to make a misstep and be caught in that shitstorm— not even when your heart is racing a little too fast for comfort at the moment. not even when those flowers actually look really pretty.
“but i expected this. i’ve come prepared,” beomgyu tells you. what is it this time? you exhale. had he been normal, you might’ve trusted him at his first attempt to shoot his shot with you. “i’ve come to the conclusion that in order to get your trust, i need to stop messing around with everyone. and that begins with being completely, absolutely, unapologetically honest.”
again, this is a public area. people are staring and you’re starting to get a bad feeling.
“i’m in love with you.”
holy shit.
“i’ve been in love with you ever since taehyun introduced us to each other, i think.”
there’s fire somewhere. 
“that was over a year ago!”
that somewhere is your face.
“yeah, and?” he raises a brow. “that means i’ve liked you for over a year. i can do the math. i’m not stupid.” you want to throw yourself into a ditch and die.
“beomgyu, tell me you’re kidding.” not even your hands can fan out the inferno overtaking your face right now. somehow, there’s a lot more people around you than you remember, and while you’re suffering from a sudden onslaught of unprovoked feelings, beomgyu looks relatively unfazed. “you can’t be serious. if you’ve liked me for that long, then why haven’t you done anything until recently?!”
“funny story,” he starts. there is nothing funny about this at all. “i didn’t think i had a chance until soobin hyung told me you thought i was pretty the other week.”
soobin, that fucking rat. 
the context wasn’t even a positive one! you said he was using his pretty face for evil!
“i—” 
like what he’s doing now.
the words get stuck in your throat when you notice that beomgyu actually looks earnest. he’s not smiling or laughing— but patiently waiting for you to say something in response. your mouth is dry. your ribcage is shaking. it doesn’t fucking help that there’s three dozen people watching the scene unfold. couldn’t he have chosen a more appropriate place to pour his fucking heart out?
“you know what, let’s go.”
it’s an act of impulse. you quickly grab him by the hand and lead him away from the crowded hallway with hurried steps. “damn,” he says, trailing from behind you. “i didn’t have to try and convince you this time.”
what’s ironic is that this is the most honest you’ve ever felt of him. his palms are clammy and slipping through your fingers. he’s making jokes, but his desperate squeeze is telling you more than what he’s actually saying. “everyone knows to think twice before listening to me. but everyone also now knows that i’m pretty much in love with you, so that’s a win for me.”
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THE BOY WHO CRIED WOLF. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.
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loneberry · 1 year
Text
For a certain kind of person — the person who, usually, strives to be a responsible parent, a sensitive friend, an upright citizen, a person who tries to care about their community — it can be impossible not to succumb to the incessant urge to mimic someone else’s supposed balance and feeling of wellness in life. What do we even know about them really?
I’m increasingly seeing this in my work as a therapist in New York City. So are my colleagues. One said to me recently that he was tired of listening to his patients talk about the impossible advice inhaled on Instagram and TikTok — to say nothing of the self-help industry. “Doesn’t anyone come asking to be more free?” he exclaimed. “They don’t,” I said pessimistically. “Everyone wants to make the right decisions.” The problem is it’s very hard to tell someone that pursuing the abstract question of “right and wrong” ways to live will lead you into a cul-de-sac. It avoids the deeper question of desire, and desire is a compass.
The promised image of goodness skirts pleasures that — for obscure reasons — you aren’t sure you can want. I see patients grow fearful when they can’t tell if what they desire is compulsive — just another rote, maybe addictive, behavior, or a real attempt to test the boundaries they live under. How do you locate free will in a world this compulsory? Unsettling desires challenge our perception of who we are and what life might look like. ...
My patients have spent time on the couch struggling with the joys and pains that come with their wish to take drugs, not to expand consciousness but just because; quit their job, not to re-evaluate life but simply to stop working (along with the bonus pleasure of thumbing their nose at their employers); or give in to an irksome captivation with the wrong person at the absolutely wrong time. ...
These pursuits certainly aren’t what you ought to do — much less post about — and yet I find that it’s when we dwell on our secret enjoyments that we learn the most about ourselves. Sexual and aggressive feelings, veering self-destructive, are finally confronted without the veneer of rationalization.
--Jamieson Webster, "I Don’t Need to Be a ‘Good Person.’ Neither Do You."
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invissimp · 9 months
Text
Yule Blue ||
Authors notes: I didn't expect to finish this until Saturday or Sunday but Suprise!
Part 1
my requests are open!
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Silence, that’s all you and your friends sat in after you confessed your feelings for a certain Slytherin. Hermione wasn’t surprised at your feelings just shocked you said it out loud and around Harry and Ron. The latter let out a gasp and told Harry to pinch him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming which he did and Ron responded with “I didn’t actually mean it!”
Harry just remained sat at the couch with a unreadable expression on his face but it slowly turned into a smile, just a small one which he hasn’t done a whole lot these days. Well at least Harry and Hermione was fine with it. You couldn’t tell with Ron at this point because he was just confused with all the information.
They all sat in a circle around you listening to what you told them about how Draco confronted you in the hall, and how you simply ran away from him.
Thankfully the common room was empty since everyone was either asleep or doing a potions essay. Shivering at the thought of the essay due in a couple of days that you haven’t started on.
“Well why didn’t you just tell him that you fancied him?” The weasley asked like it was the simplest thing in the world.
Harry shook his head at his bestfriends words while you and Hermione just rolled your eyes. Godric you loved Ron as a friend but he really couldn’t read a room for his life.
“Well Ronald if you must know he told me in Hogsmeade that he asked damn Pansy Parkinson to the Ball.”
That was news to your friends, this time it was Hermione’s turn to gasp at your words while Ron and Harry jaws had practically dropped to the floor.
They weren’t stupid by no means, it was obvious something happened with you and Draco but none of them would guess something like that could’ve done it.
“Let’s just talk about it tomorrow, yeah?”
————
The conversation did not continue into the next day, a week had pass and it was now the day of the Yule Ball. Obviously you avoided Draco, you could feel him staring at you in the Great hall, in classes, the hallways, everything.
He of course tried to talk to you but thankfully one of your friends were always by your side, one time even the Weasley twins stared him down to get him away from you.
Although you were thankful about your friends being protective, you wished that you could just take a stroll around the school without being followed.
As of now you were sitting in the common room with Harry and Ron, the two boys were talking about dates for the Yule ball while you were writing a letter to Narcissa Malfoy.
It seemed as though Draco didn’t inform her about you ignoring him, since his mother seemed very happy in her letter saying how she wants you to come over during the summer holiday for a week.
Narcissa was a very kind woman and a wonderful mother to her son even if he was a brat sometimes to people. She would be devastated if she found out Draco’s only true friend was purposely ignoring him about a stupid ball.
You decided to simply face Draco, standinf up from the floor just to be asked, “Y/N can you go to the ball with me, I’m only asking because I need one. Just as friends though.”
The boy who lived asked you to the Yule ball. As friends but still. You expected to be standing in the corner watching your friends dance with each other and Draco dancing with Pansy.
But now? Now you can go with one of your best friends and simply enjoy with others although it wouldn’t be as fun if you could dance with Draco. But not everything works out fine.
“Yeah Harry that’s fine.” You could tell by his shoulders going down some to signal that he was less stressed by the pressure of having to find a date, even if it was just a friend. Harry of course would’ve preferred to go with Cho Chang but just like you not everything works out fine.
Ron groaned in his hands, “Blimey i’m the only one that doesn’t have a date in the whole school ain’t I?”
Laughing at Ron’s words, even though he shot a deadly look at you. Harry just rolled his eyes at his friend and thanked you for going with him last minute.
Nodding at his gratitude before sitting back down to finish your homework. It was really last minute since the ball was tomorrow. Which meant Christmas was tomorrow.
———
Waking up to the sound of Lavender squealing about how it was Christmas and the Yule ball. Rolling your eyes at her voice.
Walking down to the common room to see your friends already sitting waiting for you. “Happy christmas.” You grumbled rubbing your eyes.
Opening up your presents, A couple muggle books for Hermione that she heard you talking about, Ron gave you a chess board claiming that “it can finally help you beat me.” Harry got you some new quills since you were running low on them.
Opening up one last gift you already knew who it was that gave it to you. He still cared enough to give you a Christmas gift. Unwrapping the small gift to see a small box which opened.
Opening it up to see a necklace with a small black swan it. Just like how he said his ornament was going to be. You hadn’t looked at the trees at all so you had no idea if he did stick to his end of the deal, you did though.
Putting the necklace on and it felt right at home like it’s been there ever since you were born. Maybe you should try to talk to Draco tonight at the ball.
Hermione pulled you up to the dorm to get ready for the ball. Although you weren’t all that nervous but Hermione was rambling about how she hopes she doesn’t embarrass herself in front of Viktor and everyone during the opening dance of the champions.
Now your stomach was doing flips, you completely forgot about having to dance with Harry in front of everybody. You weren’t nervous about dancing with him, just hoping that you wouldn’t end up tripping and falling in front of everyone.
You assured Hermione that everything would be fine with Viktor and how great they would be tonight together.
———
Doing the last finishing touches on yourself, your hair was now done, along with your makeup. Hermione left just a few minutes ago. Realizing that you were running out of time and quickly put on your dress.
Harry told you that he was wearing simple black robes so the color of your dress didn’t have to match with his thankfully. You had chosen a simple long green dress. Making sure that you still wore your necklace you received this morning.
Walking out of the Gryffindor common room and down the steps to where mostly everyone was waiting to go. The hall erupted into whispers with everyone gasping and pointing up at you.
You saw Harry standing with the other champions by the doors which were starting to open. You locked eyes with a pair of grey ones. Bloody hell did Draco look nice tonight.
Putting on a normal face while walking by him. Feeling him pull your arm towards him and him leaning down to whisper in your ear. “You should’ve been here tonight with me. Not potter, not that damn Steven Bottom either.” He whispered with no remorse in his voice. It was all in a demanding type of way.
Swallowing nothing in your mouth before walking away and up to Harry. You could feel the blood rush up to your face. “What did Malfoy want?”
“I’ll um tell you later.”
Nodding at your response. After a short while everyone was in the great hall and it was time for the Champions to come in.
Now you were on the dance floor with Harry and the other Champions. Looking over at Hermione to see her smiling at Viktor. You saw Ron standing next to Padma looking like he would rather get bit by Sirius in his dog form again.
You felt someone staring holes into the back of your head. You didn’t even need to turn around to know that it was a Malfoy.
The music started playing, you and Harry started dancing together. It was just two friends dancing together. The opening dance didn’t take long thankfully and Harry excused himself to talk to Ron.
Nodding at him while deciding to go talk to a few of your other friends. Stopping by Fred, George and Angelina to talk with them.
Walking over to the trees which were decorated. You were informed that the professors decided what was the best ornaments and they would be hung up. Right dead in the center of the biggest tree was a Black swan right next to a White one.
So he did stick to his end of the deal. Smiling softly at the thought of Draco. Interrupting your thoughts was a cough next to you. It was Draco you recognized it immediately, since it was his fake one which he used to get your attention in class.
“They make quite a good match dont they?” He said more like a statement than question. Nodding at him, what he said earlier in the hall still hadn’t left your mind. That’s all you could think about.
“I mean what I said earlier, I shouldn’t have been such an idiot about not asking you to the ball. I’ve fancied you since second year and I have no clue why I haven’t done anything about it.” Taking a deep breath at his words before going on, “It made me feel some type of way when you said Bottom was practically asking you to this and when I saw you with damn Potter. It just wasn’t right. You should be my date right now.”
Taken aback by Draco Malfoy basically love confession to you. Taking a glance at him to see he was staring right at you waiting for your response. “Your a bloody idiot you know that right? You're lucky I fancy you to.”
He seemed visibly relieved by your words. He took a step closer to you, closing the distance “So you wouldn’t be bothered if I did this then?”
Letting out a weak no to his question before he leaned down and connected your lips with his. It was pure bliss, nothing you’ve ever felt before with a person.
Breaking the kiss between you two, the slytherin stood up straight.
“I believe you owe me a dance.”
———
Taglist
@le000xxgrd @ttsbaby01 @princessvader15 @naya29 @ashdoctor
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multifandomlover01 · 11 months
Text
You Are My Sunshine
Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (in mind but it’s not explicit I don’t think)
Key: Y/N = Your (First) Name
WC: ~700
No warnings, this is pure fluff
Summary: End of 1x4; Spencer’s 24th birthday but Spencer talks to and goes on a date with reader instead of JJ (not explicitly anti-JJ, reader simply takes her place)
Ep: 1x4
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GIF credit: shivlinagirl
“Oh, I almost forgot. I have something for you.”
Gideon began rummaging around in his bag.
“Oh yeah?” Spencer asked, interest piqued.
“I forgot to give it to you at the party.”
Gideon produced a medium sized rectangular package.
“But you don’t give birthday presents.” Spencer said as he slowly took the gift from him.
Gideon said nothing, only looking at Spencer expectantly.
Spencer opened the present, which he could already tell was a book. He was excited. He loved books. And Gideon never gave anyone a birthday present. His excitement turned very quickly to confusion as he completely removed the wrapping.
“I already have this book.” Spencer stated simply.
“I know.”
“Why would you give me a copy of a book you knew I already had?” Spencer’s confusion only grew.
“I didn’t.”
“But-“
“Look at the front cover.”
Spencer did so. He was greeted with: “Property of Doctor Spencer Reid” in big black letters that were in his own handwriting.
“Hey! This is my copy! How did you get this?”
“From your apartment. Sorry.”
“I’m an FBI agent, I think I would know if someone had been in my apartment.”
“So am I. And I think I would be able to make it look like I wasn’t there.”
“Touché. So why’d you get this from my apartment just to give it back to me?”
“Because it happens to be someone’s favorite book.”
“Not mine. While I do appreciate it greatly, there are many other works I prefer to this one.”
“I wasn’t talking about you.”
“Then who?” Spencer was confused again.
“The only person who doesn’t consistently interrupt you when you’re talking about things that everyone else interrupts you or just walks away from you for talking about.”
“Y/N?” He looked over his shoulder at you. You were too engrossed in a book to notice.
“Exactly. Go talk to her about it. You ever done that before?”
“Talk to her in general or about the book?”
Gideon chuckled.
“The book.”
“Right. Uh, no. I knew she liked to read as she does so often, but I never knew this was her favorite book.”
“Well now you do. Happy Birthday.”
Spencer smiled.
“What do I say?”
“You always seem to know what to say to her. You seem to be able to talk with her more easily than you can with anybody else.”
Spencer nodded before standing up. He turned to walk towards you. He stopped and turned back.
“How did you know?” Not how he talked to you so easily. Not how he knew what your favorite book was. But how he knew that Spencer liked you.
“How do I know anything?” Gideon shrugged.
“Thank you.”
“You’re quite welcome.”
Spencer sat in the seat across the aisle from you, book in hand. He cleared his throat, causing you to look up from my book and in his direction. You smiled.
“Hi.”
“Hi. So, um…Gideon told me that this was your favorite book.”
“Yeah, it is. We had a conversation about books a week or so ago. Did he offer up the information or did you ask?”
“He told me. Is that ok?”
“It’s got you over here talking to me. So, yes, it’s ok.”
“Do you actually like talking to me?” Spencer asked you, looking down at his hands.
“Of course I do.”
“It-it’s just that…no one else seems to.”
“I’d say that’s their loss.”
“You really think that?” Spencer asked, looking back up at you with a hopeful expression.
“Sure I do.”
“Why?”
“Because I find you a very enjoyable person to talk to.” You smiled at him genuinely.
“You don’t find me annoying?”
“No. I like to listen to you talk.”
“Well I guess you are the only one on the team who doesn’t interrupt me.”
“Yeah…I hate when people do that…it’s so rude.”
“Really? Is that why…is that why you sometimes ask me later on what I was talking about?”
You nod.
“So you’re really interested in what I have to say?”
“Yes. I am.” You chuckle as you smile, still baffled as to how he’s not getting it yet that you actually like him and his ramblings.
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