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#Nervous is mad at me right now
simm-mouse · 2 years
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Wow, actually made a part two of screenshot redraws
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rattusrattus3 · 1 month
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Yo, just as info: to be on the safe side, legally speaking, in the future you should get explicit consent from any/all customers whose names you wanna include in videos. Love you, proud of you!! <3
Thanks! Good call, will do!
If anyone would like me to remove the video or remove your names please let me know and I will!
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pepprs · 1 year
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hi update as of an hour ago i have a THERAPIST!!! an actual licensed therapist!!!! we have our first session on monday 😭💗
#purrs#she’s super nice and like.. Grounded in a way i wasn’t expecting from the website lol but i rly can’t wait for our first session 🥹💕 im a#little nervous bc i was trying to shop around for therapists and do consultation calls w a bunch of them and she’s the first one i reached#out to bc i just liked her vibe a lot (and her practice’s name is super cute omg.. hint -> 🍇) but the other counselors i reached out to#turned me down bc of my schedule not being during regular work hours and meanwhile she was like yeah my hours are flexible specifically to a#accommodate ppl in ur situation! which was so good to hear 😭 and she kinda automatically assumed we’re working together from the call but im#not mad abt it at all and i went with it. im rly hopeful abt it and kinda nervous but she said my issues are like a perfect fit for her#and that just in hearing me talk she can tell how thoughtful / introspective / whatever i am abt it and that her approach is to balance the#introspection and the emotion.. and SHE interpreted (CORRECTLY! and i forgot to even name it!) that constantly hoppping between clinical#interns waa probably very disruptive and plays into all my stress abt transitions and i was like YES thank you 😭 and she said she’s#committed to like long stable rs with clients so they can rly heal and get all the benefits out of it. and she also gave this whole big#speech abt how she doesn’t want $ to be a barrier to access for healthcare and i was like patrick voice i love you. lolllll 🥹 im excitedddd#i want her to send the intake forms RIGHT now i can’t wait to fill them out! hehe :’~D
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lesbianpegbar · 1 year
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alright so my tablet/pen is completely unusable rn. awesome
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lifelonglemon · 2 years
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Sooooo.... I hear porn fandom is coming back to tumblr.
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haxxy · 2 years
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pleased to be a member of the "single on valentine's day, but still enjoying the holiday" club ngl
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I forgot to post anything about this, but I did the scene where I had to read some of my writing to the dnd party (twice!) and they were SO nice about it. I couldn't stop smiling. (which was kind of a weird disconnect since the scenes were super dark, lmao.) But augh, I'm so glad they were nice to meeee. My poor boy Rook is Going Through It right now, and things are about to get worse.
Next session we also might get to do our first version of ship combat using the rules I made which is kind of wild. I'm very nervous, but I feel like after this last session and sharing stuff I wrote with them (out loud!!!) I can handle it. Probably.
#morrigan.text#I literally couldn't sleep saturday night because I was too nervous-cited for the session. But it actually went really well.#for everyone tbh. Not just me. Everyone knocked it out of the park with their obituaries for the dead PC and it was great.#we even made his player cry asdkjaskdjasd.#Rook's obituary was a train wreck but that's the whole point of it so like I accomplished my goal lmao.#everyone was SO mad at him it was kind of funny.#he stared down a FUMING ancient moon dragon and didn't get turned to ice so that's good.#my beloved idiot bastard man. he does NOT deserve the shit I'm putting him through right now.#mmm maybe I'll rewrite the scene where he stared down the moon dragon bc it was really intense and is much less monologue-y than the eulogy#which will make it easier to write. I suck at writing monologues into proper prose form.#anyways.#morrigan plays dnd#campaign: the vanguard#also... the fact that Rook literally JUST got done saying how no one needs him and then this fucking dragon (who is FURIOUS with him rn) is#like ''I'm not killing you because your friends need you and I need you''... god. My oblivious little baby boy. What the fuck Rook.#Accept that your friends love you goddammit.#and then the party bard who Rook has been beefing with for weeks was actually really nice to him??? and that fucked him up too.#but he still left the party (intending to only be gone a day) to think about shit and also grieve for his mentor who turned out to be evil.#since he knows no one in the party liked that guy anyways and they did violently murder him in front of Rook...#So next session Rook has ANOTHER funeral (kind of) and he also is gonna get kidnapped.#and Val gets to show up!!!! Val my beloved!!! I'm very excited to play them but I have no idea how the fuck to play them off.#they're the complete opposite from Rook in every way and Rook is easy for me to play. So Val will be... a challenge.#I'm not cut out to play characters who are genuinely good people lmao.
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painted-bees · 1 year
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A quick, sloppy little comic about Magritte
[OC's]
(image description under the cut)
[Image Description: It's a vertical comic strip of 14 panels arranged one under the other. The style is realistic, done with sketchy lines in a dark burgundy. It is not colored or shaded and there is no background. The comic features the interactions of a couple, Magritte (also called Margie) and Rafael (also called Raf). Magritte is a young woman, she is wearing a baggy armhole tank top with a tight fitting black top underneath, shorts and boots. She has a messy bun and a small messenger bag slung over her left shoulder. Rafael is her partner, wearing baggy pants, sneakers, fingerless gloves, V-neck t-shirt and an open button-up jacket with a hoodie and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair has short side with long top bangs and a short goatee.
 (First panel): There's only Magritte visible from the waist up. Off screen, Raf says to someone else: “Magritte has our tickets.” Magritte is excited, looking straight forward. Her left hand in on her bag's strap, her right hand rummaging inside her bag. Magritte says: "Yeah! Even made sure to put them in my wallet so that I wouldn't- uh..."
 (Second panel): She is beginning to look concerned, now with her face turned to her back, both left hand holding the lip to open the bag wider and her right hand still rummaging inside. Magritte says: "wouldn't forget.... Hang on, it's not on it's usual pocket. Haha." The last is a nervous laughter.
 (Third panel): Magritte is kneeling on the ground. Rafael is standing to the side and behind her, only his feet visible. Magritte looks frantic, searching inside her bag. Her right arm is forearm deep digging in her bag. Magritte says: "It's definitely here-! It's the one thing I never forget 'cus I never take it out of my bag!" Rafael says, firmly: "Margie, when you took it out to put the tickets in, did you put the wallet back in the bag?" The letters are bolded, with the word "back" underlined for emphasis. Magritte says: "Give me some credit, there's no way I'm that stupid." The last three words are underlined for emphasis.
 (Fourth panel):  The scene has changed and now Magritte and Rafael are in a car. We see them from the passenger's side. Rafael is driving, looking straight ahead at the road. Magritte is hunched forward, hugging herself with the left hand. Her right hand is holding her head. She is looking out the passenger window, avoiding Raf.
 (Fifth panel):  Rafael turns slightly to look at Magritte.
 (Sixth panel):  The point of view is now a side profile view from the drivers side. Rafael has his left arm leaning on the open window, his right hand on the wheel. Magritte is hunched over facing the passenger window. Rafael says: "I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about." Magritte says: "I can literally feel your disappointment."
 (Seventh panel): Back to the passengers side, Rafael is looking at the road. Magritte is frustrated, no longer leaning her head against her right hand and instead her hand is palm upwards. Rafael says: "Well, yes. It is a disappointing situation, but-" Magritte interrupts: "You'd think I'd be able to do the one thing I was asked to do-! That I'd at least learn from the last billion times I forgot shit. Rafael says, quieter: “that's not where I was going with this...”
(Eighth panel):  Magritte has her right hand holding her face with the palm on her cheek, left hand placing the tips of her fingers on her left temple and eye brows. She is frustrated and angry. Magritte says: "It's not like I've got anything more important rattling around in my brain.  But, for some reason, if it's not my music, or like.... food or something, then it's just not a priority. I can't make myself care enough to make it a priority!"
(Ninth panel): She now has both hands in front of her, elbows bent, finger extended in a vague hand gesture as if there was something in front of her. Magritte says: "I'm an adult in my 20s and I still manage my responsibilities like a child. I'd be more dependable if I could just stop and think for a second, but I'd probably forget to even breathe if it weren't for the..."
 (Tenth panel): Her frustrated expression turned to confusion. Her hands are still in the air in the same position as before. Magritte says:"... why are we parked?" Her noticing this stopped her rant.
(Eleventh panel): Magritte straightens up and faces the window entirely, left hand crossed over her body to lean on the car door. Rafael, off screen: "Margie." Magritte says: "Oh." Magritte's inner thoughts are written around her. "He stopped the car to scold me. No, not ‘scold’. Don't be a child about this. He's disappointed and just needs to make sure you understand so you can do better next ti-"
 (Twelfth panel): Magritte is still looking out the window, but now with a shocked expression. Rafael reached with his right hand, and its now resting gently on her upper back. Rafael interrupts her inner monologue with "I need you to stop repeating the shit your parents and teachers and such yelled at you growing up. They were wrong, and nothing you just said makes sense."
 (Thirteenth panel):  The perspective switches back to the driver's side profile. Rafael says: "A poor memory isn't synonymous with poor priorities. Nor does it speak to a lack of maturity. The priority was there, we just have to build a better habit of checking things before we leave the apartment. Both of us. It's gonna take time. You afford everyone else a ton of patience, all the time. Can you please afford some for yourself? The situation sucks, we were both looking forward to this. But it's not the end of the world. We didn't forget things on purpose. So let's take it easy and try to end the day on a good note. Alright?" Magritte says: "Okay... c-can we um...."
 (Fourteenth panel): Magritte has turned to face Rafael and her eyes are filled with tears and they're running down her cheeks.  Rafael looks startled, lifting his arm off Magritte's back. Magritte says: "Can we get some ice cream on the way back?" Rafael says: "O-of course!" End of description.]
This description was written and provided by Hiwi.
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hecate-fem · 10 months
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At this point even waking up is stressing me out
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sttoru · 10 months
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‘no matter how much time the king of curses spends with you, he doesn’t think he will ever understand you or your affectionate behaviour towards him.’
☀︎|tags. true form sukuna x female reader. heian era sukuna. fluff. bits of mentions of blood & murder. big size difference. cold-big-monster-having-a-small-soft-spot-for-a-single-human trope. reader gets called ‘little one, brat’. not proof read! let me know if you like my characterisation or not; it’s my first sukuna fic.
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a kiss on the cheek is one of the most innocent - yet apparently also the most difficult - things to do. it’s a small form of intimacy; not that hard to do. it’s really as simple as planting your lips on your beloved’s cheek. then all you do is retreat — maybe get a kiss on the cheek back from him. or on the lips.
“get moving. i’m not waiting all day for you.” sukuna grumbles. you had suddenly stopped in your tracks and the king of curses was confused as to what the reason might have been. the two of you had been walking through the courtyard for a few minutes now — well, you basically had to drag him out to take a little stroll together.
and now the same you was quiet. it bothered sukuna; you were always so chatty around him when it was just the two of you. he might have called you an ‘annoying brat’ for it, but he secretly enjoyed your company and voice.
“c-coming.” you reply in a quiet mumble, eyes glancing over at the monstrous frame that stood a few steps away. his dull yet sharp gaze was focused on you — like he was sizing you up. or rather: trying to figure out what’s wrong with the change in behaviour you showed.
sukuna watches you as you hurry over to his side again. he resumes walking, hands folded over each other under the material of his kimono.
though, he couldn’t yet let go of the fact that you were acting different around him. the king of curses’ suspicion only grew once he noticed how your fingers fiddled with your obi. you were anxious about something.
sukuna shakes his head slightly. some humans sure are difficult to understand, he thinks to himself. your happy yet reserved personality when you usually interacted with him had disappeared and made place for a nervous wreck. trying to figure out why made sukuna’s head hurt.
were you finally scared of him? like all other humans and curses were?
he doesn’t know why, but it felt like he would hate for such thing to happen. sukuna usually wouldn’t care if someone resents, fears or somehow even admires him. only you could make him think and care about such difficult and maybe even trivial things.
“uhm,” you break off his train of thoughts and his eyes are instantly on yours again, “may i do something really quickly?”
sukuna’s face doesn’t show any change in expression, but a small nod tells you everything you need to know. you clear your throat, “can you please lower your head towards me?”
lowering his head? oh, you got some guts. if anyone else had said that to him, sukuna would have obliterated them; there wouldn’t have been anything but red bloody dust left of their body.
but then again: it’s you. all exceptions the king of curses makes are for you.
sukuna slightly lowers his head to your level so you could do whatever you needed to. he’d be lying if he said that his curiosity wasn’t piqued. it always was when he was around you.
you gulp. it was time to do what you’ve longed to do ever since the beginning of your stroll: give the ryomen sukuna a kiss on the cheek. you don’t think he’d be mad—at least he never seriously gets mad at you. only to get a reaction out of you since your responses are always ‘intensely amusing’—as he says.
“go on.” sukuna’s breath hits your cheeks. he was so close—too close that it made you even more nervous in a way. as if you hadn’t even had your first kiss yet.
you swallow your fears and just go for it. your lips attach to his cheek in the fraction of a second—the speed of light—before they leave. it was right under his right set of eyes.
you take a step back and clear your throat. you try to escape the embarrassment of sukuna’s possible reaction by continuing your stroll, though were stopped by a strong hand firmly grabbing your forearm.
“where’d you think you’re going?”
sukuna’s deep voice echoes through your ears. you were surprised to hear the tone of it; almost soft. a tone sukuna uses on rare occasions: in your presence.
you turn your head around and smile sheepishly at the king of curses before you. he doesn’t return the same (not that you expected him to), however he does unexpectedly ruffle your hair for a split second. or at least he attempts to.
his large and warm palm lands on top of your head and he gives it a little and subtle shake. sukuna had seen you do a similar action to someone else before, thus he concluded that he could do it to you. maybe as a form of endearment or. . whatever you used it as.
he did find the way you tried to scurry away after giving him a kiss very adorable. even if he wouldn’t say so out loud.
“now, come along. we don’t have all day.” sukuna nonchalantly mutters after retracting his hand. it left as fast as it came, though you were still stunned at the slight show of affection the king of curses returned.
you instantly catch up to sukuna again—walking next to him as fast as your legs could take you. you were a bit more at ease after you got a positive reaction to your little kiss. it was a pity that he didn’t smirk or laugh at you—maybe mocked you like he usually would. but that head pat made up for it.
even if it did leave your hair a little disheveled.
you couldn’t properly see sukuna’s face, but the faint smirk tugging at his lips was undeniably there. even if it was for just a split second.
“how very interesting.” sukuna mutters under his breath so you wouldn’t catch on. he sighs and shakes his head, unable to keep out that memory of you looking so cute—standing on the tip of your toes to plant a kiss on his cheek with your comically small hand on his jaw line. he doesn’t know why he found that to be so thrilling.
you flutter your eyelashes. you were curious about what he might have commented on, “may i ask what you had just said? i didn’t quite hear it.”
a short second of silence hangs before sukuna tilts his head to the right to look down at you again; his face expressionless, but still having a hint of a grin on his lips.
“i said you better hurry before i gobble you up right this instant.” he replies, (playfully) intimidating you with his sharp red eyes that glinted with a form of danger.
you shiver (though knew the threat was an empty one) and instantly pick up your pace. you even get ahead of him, walking as fast as your legs could. you answer with a curt ‘my apologies’ and walk like you actually have somewhere to be.
sukuna’s grin only grows as he sees you get ahead of him. if you had turned around, maybe you could have caught onto that light flicker of affection in his expression.
“i’m coming for you, little one.” sukuna adds just to ignite some more fear into you and you react as expected, “you’re not escaping me today.”
it was a funny sight; your reactions always make him enjoy his time with you even more than he already (secretly) was.
the way his body reacts in mysterious ways when you’re around, is still very much an unsolved riddle to the king of curses. and the reasons as to why you aren’t scared of him and can easily give him all your ‘love’ are also still yet to be discovered.
until then, sukuna will continue to enjoy teasing you.
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year
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I so badly do not want to do my homework omg. But who else is going to do it? Nobody
#keep trying to tell myself that it’s not even anything really bad but like… i couldn’t get one of the main elements to work last time#i tried it and now i’m really nervous#i’ve planned it out already and i have most of the info i need. i just need to actually code the fucking webpage#i hate it heeeere#and then i have even MORE homework to do tomorrow AND i have class today and wednesday AND both of those classes will give me homework#it looks like less homework than i was given last week though. hopefully#can i just say like.. the workload is so uneven. like why last week did i have to basically code up 3 webpages#and this week i only have to do one. it doesn’t make sense#i had plenty of time to do it tbh. i just didn’t want to#i think i’ll make a start after lunch. yesterday i started right after breakfast but i didn’t actually get anything done until like noon#because i spent over 45 minutes trying to fix one tiny problem and then i had to go for a walk to clear my head#and then i went to the shop and bought snacks and then i came back and immediately discovered my selectors were wrong#after i’d fixed that the entire rest of the project only took an hour and forty minutes. so#and that was a replication task… this task is my OWN page. i decide how it looks; i don’t have to dig around trying to recreate#someone else’s code. so theoretically it shouldn’t take too long because i should just be able to get all the elements working; put them#where i want them and slap some sort of style over the top of the structural code#but in practice i feel like it’s going to be terrible lol#i think i’m going to go in with an idea of how i want it and not be able to get it to look like that and i’ll be SO mad#but anyway. i’ll start in an hour or so because honestly i don’t think my brain is fully on until i’ve been awake for several hours#personal
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futuregws · 1 year
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sturnsbae · 5 months
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heyyy can you write smth about matt calling the reader "my baby" in podcasts, videos and even in front of their families without caring who's around?
MY BABY - MATT STURNIOLO
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warning: very very soft matt, so if you’re not into pure fluff then this story is not for you!!
matt never fails to express his love for you. he’s so passionate about loving you, and making sure you know that. one day around the beginning of your guys’ relationship he had accidentally let a new nickname slip, and you fell in love with it.
you were wrapped in his arms cuddled up in his bed as both of you were dozing off. “i love you. you’re my baby,” matt had groggily let slip out of his mouth. the corners of your lips had turned up when he said this.
“i love that nickname,” you had said. so then it became yours. all yours.
~
the guys are recording a podcast episode on happiness and your name is brought up per usual. matt’s face lights up immediately and a big smile appears on his face.
“oh yeah she’s a huge form of my happiness. it’s like an instant serotonin boost whenever she’s around, she’s my baby.” he smiles, not at all ashamed that both of his brothers are around, as well as all of the viewers who will be listening to the podcast episode.
“it’s so cute that you call her that,” nick smiles in awe.
“it’s disgusting nick, don’t lie to him,” chris groans.
“shut up chris, you’re just mad that you’re single,” matt retorts.
~
matt’s phone rests on the center console of the car facing with the screen up. he’s in the middle of talking to nick when he feels a buzz and notices his screen light up out of the corner of his eye. his head turns and he notices that it’s a snapchat from you.
he grabs his phone and leans back in his chair as nick and chris bicker, opening the photo from you and immediately blushing. he bites the insides of his cheeks to prevent a smile, but ultimately fails when chris calls him out on his so called “antisocial” behavior.
“dude get off your phone, stop being antisocial! we’re filming!” chris rolls his eyes.
matt shuffles to put his phone away, not enjoying the sudden spotlight on him. “sorry sorry, i was just snapping my babyyyy,” he sing-songs to piss chris off.
“ew dude! i hate couples,” chris huffs and crosses his arms as he slides down in the passenger seat.
“you’re just mad that matt is cheating on you with y/n,” nick chuckles from the back seat.
“you know what, you’re right!” chris says as he sits up and gets close to the camera shaking his finger at it, “you know what y/n! i’m matt’s passenger princess not you! and i was his baby first too!”
“oh my god,” matt laughs and rolls his eyes playfully at his brothers antics.
~
you were visiting his parents in boston for the first time, and you were beyond nervous to say the least. it was such a nerve wracking feeling to be meeting the most important people in his life besides you and his brothers.
“they’re gonna love you, y/n. you’re my baby, they know how much i love you. they’re gonna love you just as much, maybe even more!” matt reassures you as you both walk a few paces behind his brothers in the airport.
you give matt a nervous smile as you both approach the car where both of his parents are waiting in the pickup line. mary lou quickly gets out of the car and hurries to hug her boys, before approaching you and matt with a big smile.
“hi sweetie,” she smiles to matt
“mom, meet my baby y/n!” matt smiles as mary lou wraps you in a tight hug.
“it’s so nice to meet you, mrs sturniolo,” you smile.
“oh please honey, call me mary lou,” she smiles at you. you then walk off towards the trunk and put your bag into it. as you walk off, mary lou turns to matt, “now i see why you call her that. she’s such a sweet and pretty girl. you did good, matt.”
i’m sooo sorry if this is bad it was so rushed 😭
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maruflix · 2 months
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  — ★ 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊 𝐒𝐏𝐎𝐓. (𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄-𝐀)
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☆ — “S.. SORRY…. ARE YOU ANGRY?”
SYNOPSIS : Everyone fears them, but who do they fear? (+ bonus text messages✨)
FEATURING : Umemiya Hajime, Sakura Haruka, Tomiyama Choji, Togame Jo, Takiishi Chika x f!reader
Read the SECOND PART with Suo Hayato, Kiryu Mitsuki, Hiragi Toma, Kaji Ren, and Endo Yamato here!
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UMEMIYA HAJIME
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Everyone knows by now that one of Umemiya Hajime’s love languages is teasing. Once you get that man’s attention on you, he will not stop pestering you until the end of the world, showering you with his attention to try to get yours.
But sometimes, he can be too much.
“Wha- Hajime!” You’re peacefully reading the manga you just bought when it’s suddenly snatched from your hand. The sun beams on Umemiya’s face as he sticks out his tongue playfully, a beautiful smile adorning his features. 
You glare up at him, or rather, at his right arm who’s now holding your manga. You make  a futile attempt to swipe it away, but the white haired man only holds it up higher away from your reach. The pages are now flipping away and you grimace, knowing that you’ve lost the page you were reading earlier. And it was such a good scene, too…
“Give it back!” 
But Umemiya only grins wider, stretching his long arms higher and higher. Next to him, his friends shake their heads in disbelief at his childishness. “Then take it baaack~” He can’t lie, he loves seeing your pretty eyes shining in anger. He loves seeing all your expressions, but he can’t deny that he has a mean streak in him. It’s satisfying to tease you and watch you get all flustered and annoyed.
“Umemiya Hajime!”
His friends looked away upon hearing the murderous tone in your voice, knowing that their leader is completely and utterly done for.
“You have three seconds to give me my manga back.”
Umemiya can be a bit oblivious, but he’s not stupid. Slumping his shoulders, he gives you a look resembling a kicked puppy and gingerly hands you the manga back. “O-okay… don’t be mad at me…” He pouts, but is met with a deadly glare.
“See?! Now I have to find what page I was reading!”
Nervous, he tries to help you but doesn’t know how, so he resorts to stuttering next to you, making you more annoyed. “S.. sorry…. Are you angry?”
“Heck yes I’m angry!”
You dodge his kisses, only relenting when he literally kneels down in front of you and begs you to forgive him, resting his head on your lap.
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SAKURA HARUKA
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“Help!”
A woman’s voice breaks through the day’s tranquility, followed by sounds of feet thudding on the ground. Several shop owners and pedestrians turned to look at what’s going on, their brows furrowed when they found out that it was another pickpocket.
The young man in question is already taking off, a woman’s wallet clutched between his arm and torso, speeding down the street, a victorious smirk on his face. However, just as he’s rounding the corner, his face comes into contact with a fist, causing him to fall to the ground.
Rubbing his nose crossly, he looks up to see a white and black haired boy, towering over him with his arms crossed intimidatingly in front of his chest. His lips are pursed in a straight line and his eyes are burning. He looks scary, if it wasn’t for the cute purse that hangs on his arm. “What the heck?!” He spits out, quickly getting to his feet to make an escape.
An arm shoots out in front of him. “That wallet. Give it back.”
“Mind your own business, boy!” He moves to push him away, but he effortlessly takes his arm and twists it behind his back, making him yelp in pain. The pickpocket tries to hit his assaulter’s head, but is instead whacked on the head with an object. He flops down on the ground, holding an aching head with an aching arm, the stolen wallet quickly forgotten.
Sakura Haruka rolls his eyes at the weakling in front of him before picking up the wallet and returning it to its rightful owner, who thanks him over and over again. 
Just another day as Furin’s guardian.
“Sakura Haruka!”
Sakura flinches when he hears his full name being called out in a harsh tone, already knowing who it is without having to turn his head. He’s practically shaking in his boots when he finally faces you, hands on your hips, glaring daggers at your boyfriend.
“Did you just whack someone in the head using my purse?!”
Gulping, Sakura’s hands move to pat your purse, trying to return it to its original state (it now has a small dent from where it comes into contact with the pickpocket’s head) but fails miserably. “Umm..! Please wait a moment…” He grumbles, gently hammering your purse to fix the dent, finally succeeding as the purse returns to its form with a satisfying ‘plop!’
“You…” Taking big steps towards your boyfriend, you glare at him with rage, grabbing him by his collar. 
It is truly a sight: the Sakura Haruka, who usually holds other people by their collar, is now having his own collar grabbed by a girl, and instead of being offended, he only looks mortified.
“I-I fixed it! Here, good as new!”
“It’s not the same! You’re an idiot!”
Not far from there, Kiryu holds up his phone, recording the whole thing. He stops the video when the two of you finally stop arguing and Sakura slings an arm around you, giving you a peck on the cheek before turning beet red. Chuckling to himself, he opens up the gang group chat.
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TOMIYAMA CHOJI
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Even after his fight with Furin High’s Umemiya, Tomiyama Choji is still an enigma. He looks like someone who wears his heart on his sleeve at first glance, but no amount of bubbly cheers and close-eyed smiles can tell a person what’s really on his mind.
Like right now.
The Shishitoren guys are chilling at the Ori, chatting and opening up bags of chips. The mood around them has greatly improved and they are now much more comfortable with each other. Tomiyama and Togame join them, sitting a bit further up, but still engaging in conversation.
“So, where’s the little princess?” Togame casually asks in an attempt to make small talk, but pauses when he feels his friend stiffen up.
Tomiyama smiles, but his eyes betray him.
“Umm.. is everything okay between you two?”
“Of course!” The Shishitoren leader beams, “Why wouldn’t it be?”
The guys in the front lower their voices, partly out of nervousness but also out of curiosity. They have often seen Tomiyama’s girlfriend hanging around at the Ori, laughing at his jokes and matching his energy. But not today.
“Well..” Togame ponders whether he should pursue the matter, but he’s actually a bit curious as well, so he presses on. “She usually comes here after school ends..”
At this, Tomiyama’s smile finally fades. He glances at the other guys, who instantly snaps their head away as if they weren’t at all eavesdropping earlier, then glares at his friend openly. “... What of it? She doesn’t have to come here every single day, does she?”
Togame knows now that he’s touched a nerve, so he drops it. Sighing, he opens up his phone, something that he rarely ever does, and decides to save the day by contacting a very special person.
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You burst into the Ori not long afterwards and Tomiyama immediately bolts to you, tackling you down and muttering apologies in between sobs. When you finally forgive him, he gives you the brightest smile and kisses your cheek, pulling you up from the ground and guiding you to sit down next to him, his arm encircling your waist.
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TOGAME JO
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Togame Jo is a calm person. A very, very calm person. But calmness doesn’t equate to patience, and the Shishitoren guys know that better than anyone. It’s no easy feat to be the second-in-command, especially with someone like Tomiyama as the leader.
Togame rules with an iron fist. It’s true that he has mellowed down after the altercation with Furin, but the fact that he is intimidating remains standing. Now, he’s not even fazed when he argues with Tomiyama and stands his ground stubbornly, something that he usually avoids before fighting Furin High. That is why everyone still interacts with him cautiously, especially when they get a feeling that he’s in a bad mood.
Today is such a day.
The guys witnessed first hand how badly Togame and Tomiyama’s bickers can go, both sides unrelentingly stubborn. They’ve stopped fighting each other, but the tension is still there.
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Just then, a girl walks up to them, an annoyed look on her face as she proceeds to… lecture Togame?
“Tomiyama told me that you threw the first punch!”
“Huh?!” Togame glares at his friend, who returns his glare with a victorious grin. But he can’t say anything because it was true, he did throw the first punch— he got Tomiyama good.
“I told you to solve your arguments with cool heads, not fists!” The girl is you, and you’re now scrunching your nose in frustration at the two guys in front of you.
Aruma, Kanuma, and some of their friends are hiding behind a wall as they shamelessly peep. They thought that Togame would certainly explode right about now. He has looked irritated all day, just got into a fistfight with his friend, and now he’s being lectured by some girl? Their friend, perhaps, but still… lecturing the Togame Jo is a pretty nerve-wracking sight.
Imagine their surprise when instead of exploding in anger, Togame lets out a small huff and looks at the ground. “You never take my side… is your boyfriend Choji or me?”
Tomiyama roars in laughter when you guiltily try to cheer him up, the previous arguments forgotten. He’s still laughing as he snaps pictures of the two of you. You’re hugging Togame tightly, face buried in his chest, but unbeknownst to you, Togame is now smirking as he rests his chin on top of your head.
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TAKIISHI CHIKA
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Takiishi Chika is an all-around scary guy. He always looks two seconds away from socking someone in the face, he beats up everyone who so much as looks at him the wrong way, and he’s made it clear he isn’t interested in making friends.
Lately, though, another person has been added to his entourage. Not another scary guy like Endo Yamato, but rather a beautiful girl who looks like a perfectly law-abiding citizen.
The first time you show up, Endo is damn sure that you won’t last more than a week. Either you get too scared, make a mistake and get punched in the face, or Takiishi will grow bored of you and tell you to stay out of his way.
Neither happened.
He’s been counting the days: it’s been exactly four months, and he notices that you have only been getting closer to Takiishi. But perhaps, perhaps, today will be the day that you break.
You’re standing your ground fearlessly, staring at him angrily. Takiishi, as usual, returns your stare with a stoic one. “Why don’t you want to spend more time with me?!” Your face is all scrunched up, your hands balled up into fists.
Takiishi blinks. Once. Twice. He clearly disagrees with your earlier statement, but he doesn’t know how to respond, so he remains silent. But he clearly made the wrong decision because your frustration grows, tears glistening in the corner of your eyes. Surprised and unsure how to react, Takiishi opens and closes his mouth mutely.
“So it’s true, then. Endo was right.” You sigh in defeat, tears now running down your face, “You don’t actually love me. You like him more than me.”
Endo nearly chokes when Takiishi snaps his head towards his direction, his face dark and eyes flickering in pure anger. He’s sure that Takiishi would stomp his way to him and bash his head in, if it weren’t for your sobs.
He watches, learning his lesson about messing with you when Takiishi quietly pulls you into his arms, calming you down by rubbing your head gently. His movements are stiff and awkward, but even an idiot can tell that he treats you like a treasure, letting your tears wet his black jacket.
But it wasn’t finished yet— Takiishi kindly makes sure that Endo completely learns his lesson when he beats him half to death, threatening him to never talk to you that way ever again.
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NOTES : Wind Breaker fandom, I offer tribute!!!
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Trinity's parents in the Hello Neighbor cartoon treat her exactly like Joyce Summers treated Buffy at the beginning of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Like exactly. And seeing as how that really didn't bode well for our poor Buffy, for her physical or mental health (though Joyce did get better), I'm already so worried for Trinity.
It may be too early to say... but Trinity's parents may even be worse than beginning!Joyce.
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aperrywilliams · 3 months
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My Lover Boy (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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——————
Author Masterlist
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Request: "Can you write something super angsty, like the reader and Spencer have something going on, but technically, they're just friends, and then everything with Lila Archer happens? She's sad but tries not to show it to him, and he is mad at himself for getting with Lila. Derek is teasing him, and it's super angsty, but it all ends up okay."
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Summary: You think something is going on with Spencer, something beyond friendship. But you start to question it when a case in LA pushes Spencer to spend time with Lila Archer.
Word Count: 4.6k
TW: Angst with a happy ending. Use of some strong words. Some suggestive comments. Mention of having sex. If I forgot something, let me know.
A/N: Thanks for the request! Keep sending them to me.
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"Hey, did you get something?" You ask Spencer when he returns to the precinct. He and Gideon were at a gallery open to obtain information for the case you are working on in LA.
Spencer shrugs. "Not really. They all were more interested in photos and the press."
"Celebrities," you huff playfully, and Spencer chuckles.
"Yeah. Something like that," Spencer agrees.
"I'm going to grab some coffee. Do you want some?" You offer, standing from where you were checking the case folders.
"Sure," Spencer accepts, sitting and grabbing a folder for himself to inspect. You pass by him and squeeze his shoulders in a gentle gesture, subtly kissing his head.
"I'll be right back," you murmur before leaving the room.
Things with Spencer have been kind of odd for a while. Sure, you still are coworkers and friends, but ultimately, it is like you both are getting to terms with the idea that something else is going on. You don't know what it is really, and neither of you has sat to talk about it.
Why? Lack of time, maybe? Fear of being misreading the signals? Both?
Whatever it is, you have been acting like nothing is happening, although you almost kissed after a bar outing two weeks ago. You would have if Morgan hadn't called Spencer when you were about to kiss outside your apartment.
After the interruption, neither of you brought up the topic again.
Now you are stuck in LA, trying to solve a case involving celebrity killings. So, of course, the media and the locals have been nailing your asses for answers.
There is no time for anything else but to try to catch the unsub as soon as possible. Hotch asked you to narrow the unsub comfort zone. It's a task that's usually assigned to Spencer, but Hotch has him tracking information from one of the possible unsub's targets: Lila Archer, an actress with a promising career ahead.
"Pretty boy now has the best assignment in this case," Derek sighs as he slumps into one of the chairs in the meeting room.
Elle and you scoff at his dramatics. Morgan points an accusing finger at you.
"If you have seen her, I'm sure you would agree with me."
Neither of you pays too much attention to Derek's tantrum and keeps working instead.
It's almost night, and when Hotch returns to the precinct with Gideon and no Spencer in sight, you raise an eyebrow.
"Where is the genius?" Elle asks.
"With Miss Archer. We need to keep an eye on her, and Reid has the rapport already," Hotch explains before asking for your progress in the task you were assigned.
How does Spencer suddenly become a bodyguard? You don't know, but don't question it. You assume Hotch knows what he's doing.
An hour later, Garcia calls, saying the cameras at Lila's property show a strange person wandering around. The fact Spencer is not answering his phone makes everyone flock out of the police station, and all of you think the unsub is trying to get into the house.
What if the unsub is already inside and hurt Spencer? Shit, you are a nervous wreck, although you try to mask it to the rest of the team.
When arriving at the house, Hotch split everyone: Morgan and Elle are assigned to the front. Hotch and you take the backyard. Gideon, with the patrols, canvass the main street.
As you approach, your heart beats faster and faster. With your gun aimed, you're ready for anything but the fact you hear laughing coming from the pool.
You are covering Hotch's back, and he is as confused as you after opening the gate.
You both see Lila getting out of the pool in a fit of laughs and Spencer, entirely clothed, inside the pool.
"Are you okay, Miss Archer?" Hotch asks, holstering his gun and checking the surroundings with his gaze.
"Oh, Agent Hotchner. I didn't know you were coming," she mentions casually, wrapping a towel around her torso.
Realizing danger isn't imminent, you holster your gun, too, and reach a hand to help Spencer.
"What the hell happened?" You ask him as you take in his drenched clothes and wet gun resting at the edge of the pool. Spencer doesn't look at you, only mumbling, "I fell."
Well, weird but not implausible, considering Spencer isn't the best-coordinated man in the world.
You help him, grabbing a towel from a chair and handing it to him. You take his gun and remove the bullets from the soaked chamber.
You want to know more about the whole situation, but before you have the chance to ask Spencer, you see Derek, Elle, and Gideon coming.
Finally, the alert came from a paparazzi who was around the house and wanted to take photographs of Lila. And regarding the pool? Lila said that she wanted a dip, and unfortunately, Dr. Reid tripped and fell.
No one says anything about it, but the looks Elle and Derek give Spencer catch your attention, as does the way Spencer avoids talking to you until you are called to return to the precinct.
Despite the incident, Lila insists Spencer stay as you continue investigating the evidence.
So you all come back to the station, minus Spencer.
You don't know why Elle instructs you to check the camera roll recovered from the paparazzi, but there you are, in a dark room, revealing what could be pieces of evidence.
What you do not expect is the kind of images that are showing before your eyes: Spencer and Lila Archer making out in the pool.
What-the-fuck?
Now, the scene you found when you arrived at the place with Hotch makes a little more sense. Spencer was entirely soaked while Lila, with a smug expression, walked into the house with a towel around her torso.
You don't know what reaction comes first. But you can recognize the deception and the way your heart shatters into a million pieces.
They were kissing. In the pool. At night. Like nothing is happening around them.
You have been working your ass to catch an unsub, and the doctor is enjoying himself with a movie star. In addition, they lied about the whole ordeal.
The tears pool in your eyes, but you are fighting not to let them fall. Not here. Not for Spencer. Not for anyone.
Why bother, anyway? You are just friends.
What? Will you ask him for an explanation?
It's not your place, even if you thought something was going on between you both.
How stupid you are. You don't stand a chance with him. Spencer only sees you as friend material.
With the entire film revealed, you shove the photos into a manila folder and leave the dark room.
Elle raises an eyebrow when she spots you walking toward her. You throw the folder over the table.
"Here's what you asked me for," you say in a harsh tone before turning around and walking out of the precinct. Elle doesn't say anything and doesn't need to open the folder to know what's going on.
When the team moves to Lila's house again a few hours later, already knowing who the unsub is, you stay behind in connection to Garcia to coordinate at the police station. You don't need to be there again.
You won't get exposed to see Spencer and Lila together.
Early in the morning, with the killer in custody and Lila Archer safe, you are ready to come back to Virginia.
During the flight, you seclude yourself in the farthest seat, headphones on and eyes closed. It works. No one disturbs you.
But you fail to notice Spencer's eyes on you the entire time.
After touching down, Hotch gathers you in the office to do the debriefing when you only want to go home.
Spencer tries to talk to you a few times, but you slip away from him every time, using whatever excuse not to speak.
Finally, Hotch officially closes the case and sends you home with two days off. Without saying goodbye to anyone, and with your heart broken, you run out of the BAU.
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Spencer looks for you when he exits the conference room, but you're already gone. His guts tell him something happened to you, and he is worried. Usually, you're open to talking to him, and with this thing going on between you both, Spencer doesn't know how to ask you about it. But even if he wants to do that, he needs to have you in the same room first.
And that will only happen once you are back at the BAU in two days.
He thinks maybe he should go to your place but refrains from the idea. Perhaps you're just tired, and he doesn't want to make it worse.
He doesn't know you sulked in your apartment the entire time, and when you all return to work two days later, you are not still talking to him.
Spencer trails behind you like a lost puppy. He tries to make some conversation with you every chance he gets, but you avoid him like the plague. Spencer still doesn't know why you're acting so cold with him, so he goes to someone who might know: Elle.
Spencer walks to her desk, ready to get some kind of answers.
"What is it, Reid?" Elle asks without looking at him. Spencer clears his throat.
"Do you know if something happened to her?" he questions, referring to you. Elle rolls her eyes in annoyance before lifting her gaze to him.
"Are you kidding me right now, Reid?"
Spencer frowns in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
Huffing, Elle digs through the stack of folders on her desk, pulls out the one with the photos you developed, and passes it on to Spencer.
"Serve yourself, genius."
Spencer proceeds to check what is inside, and his cheeks immediately start to burn.
"She - she saw these?" Spencer stutters. Elle pulls a face.
"If she saw these? She developed the camera roll and gave these to me."
Spencer wants to die. It makes perfect sense, but that means he screwed it up.
"Why did she do that?! I mean, no one else could have done it?"
"I asked her to," Elle says, folding her arms over her chest.
"Why did you do that?!" Spencer squeals.
It doesn't matter why, but he still can't believe you saw everything. Spencer knows it was wrong to kiss Lila back, but for him, it didn't mean anything. His heart already belongs to you, even if he hasn't told you yet.
"What did I know that she would find out photos of you and Lila sucking each other's faces? I thought there were only pictures of Miss Startlet swimming and you stupidly falling into the pool. Isn't that you told me happened?"
Spencer Reid has rarely been left speechless, but this is one of them. A mixture of shame, regret, and anger at himself makes his stomach churn, and he wants to dig a hole to disappear.
He needs to explain to you what happened. But how could he approach the subject? You and Spencer are friends in the first place, and he didn't tell you what really happened in that pool. You had to see it for yourself in those pictures.
And thinking about your 'situationship' makes it even worse.
Spencer leaves Elle's desk, thinking about what to say and looking for the best moment to talk to you. But luck isn't by his side: in mid-morning, Hotch announced there is a case.
At least it's local this time.
In the afternoon, he spots you walking alone in one of the hallways. It's now or never, he thinks.
"(Y/N), wait!"
Hearing your name, you reluctantly turn only to see Spencer jogging to catch up with you. You want to turn again and leave, but it won't be subtle if you do that.
"What is it, Spencer? There is something about the case?" You ask flatly. Spencer knows you know it isn't about the case, but he has to assume you don't.
"I - uh. No. It's not the case. I - I just want to make sure you are okay?" His voice is wary, and the fidgeting of his hands is a tale-telling that he's nervous.
"I'm okay. I'm great, actually," you say, faking cheerfulness. Your patience runs thin, and Spencer isn't helping.
He frowns, knowing what you are doing.
"Don't be like that. I really wanted to make sure you are okay," he mumbles shyly. You cross your arms over your chest—a defiant look in your eyes.
"And why I wouldn't, uh? Something bad happened to me? There is a single reason why I shouldn't be okay?"
Spencer contemplates his response for a second. How does he say it in a way that does not sound self-centered?
"I don't know. You haven't talked to me since the last case in LA."
Spencer opts to bring up the obvious and let the overwhelming evidence out of this for now.
"And that bothers you?" You ask in a disbelief tone.
Spencer knows this isn't working.
Damn to his inability to lead meaningful interactions when he needs to.
"Yes! I mean, we - we're friends. You can tell me if something is going on."
The friend card. Spencer thinks it's the safest approach. But he's wrong. You laugh humorlessly.
"Honestly, Spencer? I don't know if we are friends anymore."
Your tone tries to be cold, but behind it, there is a tiny wavering you try to suppress at all costs.
"What? Why are you saying that?"
That's the limit Spencer reaches and pushes you to snap.
"Because friends don't lie to each other! When I asked you what happened at Lila's house, you lied to me!"
Spencer gulps because he knows you are right.
That is what he needed to say first, and not have to wait until you were who threw it at him.
"I'm sorry," he mumbles, gazing at his feet.
And then again, the guilt, the embarrassment.
Why did he do it? He isn't attracted to Lila. Why did he kiss her back?
"Yeah, me too. But you know? I'm glad. I'm glad you finally found someone and that now I know where I stand."
It hurts you to say the words. Spencer can see the crack in your demeanor, and he is the one to blame.
"What? No! No, I'm not- I didn't find someone," he chimes in an attempt to clear this up. "It's not what you think."
"Isn't? I saw the pictures, Spencer. I developed them myself. I know what I saw."
"She kissed me!" Spencer exclaims, trying to get afloat because he feels he's drowning.
"So what? If that's the case, you kissed her back!" You spat, angry at the lame explanation coming from Spencer's mouth.
"It was a mistake! I shouldn't have done that! You have to believe me."
Spencer tries to take hold of your hand, but you don't let him, yanking your arm and keeping your distance from him.
"Why do you think it's a mistake? Uh? She's pretty, almost famous, she's into you. I don't think it is," you start, and Spencer frowns. "What I can't understand is why you didn't tell me the truth before I could find out from those goddamn photos. What did you expect? That I would criticize you? What would bother me about your love adventures in Hollywood? You said it yourself: we're just friends."
"(Y/N), please," Spencer tries to get to you but is to no avail.
"It's your fucking life, Spencer. Do what you want with it! But let me out of it."
Without another word, you storm out to who knows where but far away from him.
Spencer knows he fucked up big this time. And his attempt at apology made things only worse.
He didn't see you for the rest of the case. Spencer assumed you secluded yourself in Garcia's office.
From his spot at his desk, he can only see Elle's disapproving look.
There is no reasonable reason for what he did, and that consumes Spencer's brain. He doesn't like Lila. He has been pining for you long enough to be sure he loves you.
'Men are men,' Elle usually says when Derek brags about his conquests. Spencer always felt proud of not being that way. And what happens when a pretty actress jumps at him? He goes with it. Elle is right, then. He is like any other man.
The question is if he will do something to gain your trust - and affection - back. How can he fix this?
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A whole week has passed since the case in LA. The BAU looks pretty much the same as always, if not for the fact you only talk to Spencer when it is strictly necessary. The team doesn't pick up much of it, though. Only Elle knows what's going on, but she won't pester you with questions or unrequited advice.
Spencer is doing nothing extra to call your attention, although you can feel his eyes on you sometimes during the day. But you assume he got your message, and he'll go on with his life.
The problem is you can't bring yourself to do the same. You know your chances with Spencer are a past thing, but your heart still doesn't get the memo. And you try, really try to be neutral, professional, and collected. It works in the majority because nobody asks questions or refers to what happened in LA.
But the state of 'everything is fine' in you is fragile, and you know that.
It's Friday afternoon, and everyone wants to end their reports to go finally home. You see Spencer from the corner of your eyes. He is deep-writing in what you assume are the details from the last case. Elle is doing the same. You are trying to focus on your work, but the tiredness makes you go slower than you want.
Suddenly, the glass doors open to reveal a grinning Derek Morgan walking straight to Spencer's desk with something under his arm. It looks like a newspaper.
"Hey, lover boy!" Derek claps Spencer's back with a shit-eaten smirk plastered on his face. Spencer looks up at Derek with a frown. "Don't look at me like that Casanova. You are the one who didn't tell me about your little something with Miss Starlet."
Morgan places a newspaper he's carrying on Reid's desk. The cover is a photo of him making out with Lila Archer.
"W- what?" Spencer stutters as his cheeks redden. His eyes quickly move from the newspaper to find yours, and you only want to disappear. Averting his gaze, you try to focus again on the file you are reading. Elle rolls her eyes from her desk.
"My man! You slept with her that night, didn't you?"
"Morgan, stop," Spencer pleads, but Derek doesn't relent, even when the air in the room becomes way thick in instants.
"You can tell me! Is she good? I bet she is-"
"Morgan, no!" Spencer's high-pitched voice tries to make Morgan shut up.
"Come on, give me something pretty boy. She is wild in bed, doesn't she? How many hickeys did she leave on you?"
You actually cringe at Morgan's words. The sole idea of Lila and Spencer sleeping together makes you sick to your stomach.
You're about seconds to stand and get out.
Elle, who is observing the whole scenario - thing Derek doesn't - huffs in irritation.
"Why don't you and lover boy go to spill your gut about your sex life out of here? We are trying to work if you didn't notice."
Morgan frowns. Usually, Elle backs up his teasing to Spencer. But when he is about to say something again, you're - not so subtly - grabbing your things and storming out from the bullpen.
Your collected attitude goes out of the window.
All of them be damned, you think.
Spencer is standing right away to chase after you, leaving Morgan with a confused look, silently asking Elle what the hell just happened.
"I am only going to say that you are a total asshole, Derek Morgan," Elle states before returning to her files.
Meanwhile, you're pressing the elevator button, and you can feel Spencer rapidly nearing you.
“(Y/N)! Please, wait!"
When he's by your side, you intentionally look to another way.
"Not now, Spencer. Just let me go."
Just let me go. That statement has more meaning than the explicit one you're voicing.
"Morgan is only messing with me. I didn't sleep with her."
Spencer thinks blurting the truth will be enough to stop you from running away from him. But things are already more complicated than that.
"It doesn't matter, Spencer. Now, let me go."
Your insistence is more like an agonizing plea. You're so tired. There is no fight you want to engage in right now. You think you won this time when the elevator doors open, but it's short-lived as you see Spencer stepping inside as well.
"No! It does matter!"
The elevator doors close, and now only are you and him.
"Why? Uh? Why is it so important for you to tell me this?"
Your sudden raised voice takes Spencer aback. You're pissed off.
"Because - because it is the truth!" He defends.
And maybe he's right. Perhaps he didn't sleep with Lila, but your heart is already broken, and you only need space to get used to the idea and heal.
"Spencer. I already told you you don't owe me an explanation. Truth or not, it is not my business anyway."
Your tone is not angry but deflated, exhausted. Your gaze drops to the floor.
Spencer wants to scream; there is so much in his chest to say, but his brain doesn't cooperate in spilling something coherent.
"But I want it to be!" He decides to say, and he gets you to look at him again.
"What? are you talking about?"
"I want it - I want it to be your business," Spencer repeats, and you don't know what to say; you don't even know what he means.
The elevator dings and the door opens. You both stand there for a second, frozen after what looks like a confession. Or not. You're not sure.
"You don't know what you are saying," you mumble, deciding to move and pass him to walk into the parking garage.
"I know I should have said this before," Spencer continues walking after you. "I know I should have said something that night when we almost kissed. I regret I didn't."
You stop when he mentions that night. At this point, you thought he didn't care, and it didn't mean anything to him.
"Nothing happened that night," you say bitterly.
"But it should have. Don't tell me you didn't feel it," Spencer poses a hand on your shoulder to stop you from turning away again. Your eyes fill with tears, but you're fighting not to let them fall.
"And what if I did? It doesn't change anything," you shrug, a painful look in your eyes.
"It does! Because I love you and I do really want to make it up to you. I want you back. I want to amend the hurt I caused you for my stupidity."
Did he say 'I love you'? That takes you aback.
"Spencer-"
"I know I messed up. I know it was stupid to kiss Lila back. It doesn't matter if she did it first or not; you're right. But believe me, it didn't mean anything to me because she was not you. She is not you and will never be."
"You're confusing things," you shake your head, still not giving credit to his confession.
"After our fight the other day, I really thought about stepping back and leaving you alone. I have been torturing myself all week trying to conceive a life without you on it, mourning the lost of our friendship, and above all, mourning the lost of the prospect of to be your person, and you to be mine."
You can't keep your tears at bay anymore, so you let them free. Spencer cups your cheeks, and you can see tears in his eyes, too.
"But I can't. I can't let you go. Not without telling you the truth. And if you don't feel the same, that's okay; I won't push any further, and I'll leave you alone."
You can't tell him that you don't feel the same way because that would be the biggest lie in the universe. You are also sure that you love him, and that is why this situation has broken you so much.
You blink away some of your tears as Spencer looks at you, trying to read the truth in you.
"I think I have been in love with you since ever," you blurt out, with a half sob and half chuckle. "And I felt so heartbroken seeing you kissing her, and now Derek comes suggesting-" you trail off.
"Hey, don't think about that. I messed up, and I didn't say anything earlier because, to me, it didn't mean anything. I'm so sorry," Spencer apologizes, running his thumbs under your eyes to wipe some of your tears.
"How can - how can we start over?" you ask him shyly but hopefully. Spencer hastens to reply.
"The way you want it. If you want time to think, or if you want us to go slow, we can do that. If you wish to, can we go on a date first? Officially, a date? We can do that," Spencer rambles, and you smile for real for the first time in weeks.
"Yeah, we can go on a date, officially a date," you concede, and Spencer can't contain his excitement. "But, can I ask you for something first?"
"Of course. Just name it," Spencer says as his hands rub your shoulders lovingly.
"Can you kiss me now?" You request, with the most faked innocent look you can muster, making Spencer laugh.
"I can do that," he nods, looking at you intensely, gaze flicking between your eyes and your lips. Then Spencer leans down, closing his eyes at midway. You wait with batted breath until finally, his lips softly touch yours.
It's a tentative, sweet kiss. Your arms go up Spencer's shoulders until they land on his neck. His hands fall to your hips to pull you closer as the kiss deepens. It's no longer exploratory; it's hungry, messy, passionate, and you couldn't have wanted it any other way. You're sure this kiss is a thousand times better than the one he had with Lila, and Spencer completely agrees with that assessment because it's you.
That makes it perfect.
It's the need for air that makes you part after a while.
"Wow," you both say at the same time, starting to laugh like teenagers and trying to catch your breath.
When the laugh subsides, you narrow your eyes in contemplation and Spencer's eyebrow furrow.
"What?" he asks, and you look at him—a mischievous glint in your eyes.
"We agreed to a date first, right?" you ask, and Spencer nods.
"What if we skip that and make up for the lost time? What do you say, my lover boy?" you suggest, with a playful smirk on your face. Spencer's cheeks flush, but he is definitively excited with the idea. He quickly grabs your hand and runs with you to your car.
There is a lot to make it up, he agrees.
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