six-improbable-things

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Got 4 hours of sleep and was rudely awakened by my alarm from a dream where me, my boss, and the other interns had designed a tattoo in honor of a species of poisonous purple snakes. And I do actually mean poisonous, not venomous. I also don’t think it had scales??? Our boss was the model??

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I honestly think that Gura and Murderbot's last exchange does more for their relationship and understanding of each other than any other interaction in the entire season. (With the arguable exception of their brief mind-melding.)

Like, Gura was the first person to point out that it uses "I need to check the perimeter" as its default "I don't want to be here" excuse. And he calls it out for that. So when it tells him "I need to check the perimeter" (slightly pleadingly, tbh), he knows exactly what it means.

And he doesn't like it!!! Before, SecUnit/Murderbot leaving was his greatest wish. But he understands it now. He did so much work to get it back. He wants to give it a fresh start like the one Mensah gave him. He sees himself in it. ("You're avoiding eye contact." x2)

But he also understands what it's like to be forced to do things against your will. The rest of the team has no real experience in the Corporation Rim. Gura does. And he uses it to help the team. Including Murderbot!! ("We'll buy it." "It's not a possession!!" "Here it is.")

He's the one who knows that there is only one language that the Company speaks: Money. He's the one who proposes buying Murderbot's contract. He's the one who downloads MASSIVE amounts of data DIRECTLY INTO HIS BRAIN in order to restore its personality.

He was manipulated and controlled by the Company once. Forced to obey their commands. And so he gets it out of there. He offers to help it, show it the ropes.

And it turns him down. And that does make him sad.

But he also understands the need to leave. The need to make your own choices, even if they aren't the best ones. The need to experience freedom. True freedom, without training wheels.

And, of course, he understands how hard it is to break your training, even when you have free will. So he says what Murderbot needs to hear: "You need to check the perimeter." Reluctant, yes, but acknowledging.

So Murderbot thanks him. Because yes, it could have just left. But hearing that sentence repeated back made it SO much easier to open that door and walk out. A kind of metal lubricant, I suppose you could say. And so it says "thank you". And it means that.

(Also, ahhhhh, the parallels of Gura repeating things back to Murderbot when earlier it was Murderbot copying and repeating the words and phrases of the team.... wah. I love it.)

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I watched all of Murderbot in one evening (it is now after 2am), and I gotta say: I honestly think it works better as a tv show than as books. I usually hate saying that, and tend to find that most media does best in its original format -- hence why the creator(s) chose that format and not another one -- but this time I think it's true.

For one, I think that live video is the only way to well and truly capture just how fucking awkward Murderbot is. The long pauses are much more clearly felt in video format, as they're not dependent on your imagination or reading speed. You can see just how extremely desperate it is to avoid eye contact.

Also, I'm just a sucked for little HUD popups in visual media and the ones they made for this show are super cool. Also being able to literally see it popping into the other cameras is super fun. And SANCTUARY MOON!!!!! They literally filmed portions of a whole 'nother show INSIDE A SHOW. Absolutely insane, but 1000% enhances the experience of being inside Murderbot's head, and really gets across just how fucking chaotic it is. (I love that for it. My audhd monarch, tbh.)

And while tv with heavy narration can be a hard thing to balance with visuals and pacing, I think this show did an awesome job with it. (Side note: I'm never going to be over the last line of episode 10, or also the "Well, fuck that.")

Also, I don't know if it's just my imagination, bc it's been a while since I read the book, but I feel like the show went harder on the whump front. Or maybe it's just because I'm bad at picturing things in my head so seeing it on screen is more vivid for me, hahaha.

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Watching Jurassic Park and I have Opinions on this place as a zoo. Feeding the predators live prey?? There's other ways to provide enrichment! Also that enclosure is way too small for multiple large animals like that! Electric fences? Ha! Electric fences won't stop a fucking goat! Where's the zoo experts? Who designed these enclosures?? Were all zoos this shitty in the 90s???

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He doesn't know I'm coming, does he?

Black Sails | 1.01

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“A sleeping mother snow leopard curled up in a doughnut shape, front paws resting against her back, while her tiny, eyes-and-ears-closed kitten nuzzles into the fur of her belly and wraps their arm around her”

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Lucy, trying to keep Lockwood awake on the lift in 1x08: Stay with me, okay? You've been shot. You've lost a lot of blood.

Lockwood, slipping in and out of consciousness, mumbling: Have not. I know exactly where the blood is.

Lucy:

Lockwood: A lot of it seems to be on you, for starters.

Lucy:

Lockwood, doing weak 'ta-da' hands: Case solved.

Lucy, pinching the bridge of her nose: Give me strength...

Lockwood, very earnestly: I think blood needs to be in your body for that, Luce.

Kipps, 800% Done: This is why people shoot you, Tony.

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thank fuck for the "schedule send" feature on Outlook, because while I absolutely will message my friends and family at 1am, I do not need my boss / internship supervisor to know that I was wide awake and sending him an email at 1am.

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in honor of me surpassing 100 Morrigan Notes in the Black Desert notes doc the last time we played, here's a compilation of some of my favorites. (In reverse chronological order.)

(tumblr image descriptions has transcripts/alt text)

Not pictured: The 5+ smiley faces to indicate "I know things but I'm not saying anything" and 5+ variations on "I WAS RIGHT" / "I FUCKING KNEW IT!"

Not really Morrigan Notes, but still funny:

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For those of you who wisely avoid Facebook have this excellent image from the San Antonio Zoo page.

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And actually, on the subject of the undercover DEPRAC officer, I have so many feelings about that scene because like

That is the only time in the series where we see a "normal" adult/kid interaction.

This is a universe where childhood has almost ceased to exist. Children are put on the front lines of the war against the Problem at age 8 (books) or age 13 (show), funnelled by their parents into a career that ends their education, curtails their future past the age of about 20, and forces them to be miniature adults before they even hit puberty. Children are exposed to death, injury and trauma every single day and nobody bats an eyelid, because it's legal and normal and expected. And the series is full of adults who get frustrated at or blame the young protagonists for not being competent adults as teenagers - for making age-appropriate mistakes or errors in judgment.

But this DEPRAC officer sees two kids, way out of their depth, breaking into a facility that will get them killed, and he tries to shut them down immediately. No. You're babies. Go home. Leave this to the professionals. He risks his cover - his life, with his wife and his daughters - to give them a way out of that warehouse.

And Lockwood? He is like, the prime example of the adult child agents are expected to be. He's - what, 16? 17? And he's a homeowner with a mortgage, an entrepreneur, an employer who runs an accredited organisation. He spends the entire show trying so hard to project this mature, professional persona - even to Lucy.

But in that scene - when Winkman's thugs have them cornered against a locked door, when they have one rapier between them and he knows even being a swordfighting prodigy won't be enough to get them out alive - he isn't any of those things. He's a child. And he looks helplessly to the one adult he knows is on their side to save them.

And the DEPRAC officer - a husband, a father of two, who doesn't know these kids and has already taken a risk to give them an out they didn't take...

He does. Even though it costs him his life. They're kids, and he protects them.

No wonder that hit Lockwood so hard, in a world where children are so rarely protected at all.

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The psychiatrist who wrote the criteria for narcissism just made an extremely important point about what’s wrong with diagnosing Trump with mental disorders

Dr. Allen Frances says in speculating about Trump’s mental health, we are doing a disservice to those who do suffer from mental illness. In a series of tweets, he explained why he doesn’t think Trump is a narcissist — and how harmful it can be for us to keep assuming that he is.

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Curious about people's reading preferences, reblogs for sample size are very appreciated ❤️

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Being a sex-repulsed (aro)ace but also wanting a sex-neutral society is such a weird balance to have in your mind. On one hand it's like "yes, I believe that sexual content is okay, even if it exists for no other purpose than people's enjoyment and pleasure", but on the other it's like "does this book/movie/tv show really need this extended sex scene?"

Like, I want people to live free of shame and discrimination for creating or enjoying sexual stuff, but at the same time, I don't really enjoy it myself, and sometimes it gets on my nerves how many pieces of media have (imo, largely unnecessary) sex scenes.

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someone say a yuri ship . first one u think of