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New Concept Happy Birthday Status Editing | Code-0039
Are you looking for a birthday special template to make your videos more festive and fun? If so, you’re in luck! In this blog post, I will show you how to download and use a birthday special template for KineMaster, the popular video editing app for Android and iOS devices. KineMaster is a powerful and easy-to-use video editor that lets you create amazing videos with various effects,…
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Make your own Video from Photos….
Create your own attractive video from photos with song lyrics. love.ly Lyrical Video Status gives facility of making Video Status by adding photos from your own mobile gallery. Choose your favorite video template and add photos in it.
Lyrical Video Status features opt your favorite video template to create status, add your photos, click on export button to create video and lastly directly share on social media platform. One can also download their favorite trending template in phone gallery.
Make Lyrical Video Status and share on social media such as FB, Insta, WA etc. Convert your beautiful selfies photos into eye-catchy video status to upload on any social app as story status. After all process is complete video is saved in your gallery so you can watch it later also. Viral song lyrics video template for user is to create status with music track.
Select multiple photos from mobile gallery to add in popular theme for someone special to make memorable memories. Convert your photo into video in just few seconds with trending song lyrics of your choice. Lyrical Photo Video Maker with Song 2021 has various categories like Romantic Love, Happy Birthday, Sad, Attitude, Happy Diwali, Friendship and many more to create video status.
Best android app to create video easily with few steps with music song to make every occasion special. Lyrical Full Screen Video Status Maker for your love partner to make him/her very special on Valentine Day or Birthday. This app has large collection of video templates through which you can convert your pics into videos in just one minute with trending song lyrics.
One can make stylish video by just adding photos because template has effects, filters, animations, text style, emoji, song etc. Lyrical Photo Video Maker 2021 application has latest concept of inbuilt templates you have to just add your own beautiful photos for Photo Video Status.
My Pic Lyrical Video Maker All Song is new 2021 status app which can be used by every age people to celebrate Indian festivals Krishna Janmashtami, New Year, Navaratri, Happy Holi Dhuelti, Raksha Bandhan by making status to make the memories for life time. In few steps any one can make creative slideshow video from your awesome camera pictures.
Create daily new lyrical video and upload on you social media accounts or share in group circle. Full Screen Lyrics Video Status Maker to make videos such as Happy Anniversary, Shayari, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Rakhi, Breaking News and many more to choose according to your moods or celebrations.
Make a lovely video from selfie photos with music for your Brother, Sister, Daughter, Son, Husband, Wife, Grandparents etc. Choose any lyrical story video and add your pictures to video easily for upcoming festivals and day celebration. This application is easy to use just add your photos and transforms them into stunning video song status is ready to upload or download.
Magical Short lyrical video maker app contains song line is in Hindi, Telugu, Marathi, Tamil, Gujarati, Punjabi, Bengali, Kannada etc languages for the lovers. My Photo Lyrical Video Status Maker with Song is a tool which contains animation effect filters, famous song lines, dialogues and video transaction.
One can enjoy various video template and download it to share with any one. Template contains all types of effects to make status ready in just one minute of any function for celebration. There are lots of songs to choose from your favorite one of your most likes movie songs.
Directly Share your video status with friends and family.
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has got you covered. Start making amazing videos today!
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DSMP/iDots - The Conception (Crimson NG)
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Happy Birthday to the Halo twins, Abraxas and Asriel! They would officially be born at noon today, May 6th, 2023. When I say noon as the time of their birth, I specifically mean at 12:02 pm.
Back on March 21st, 2021, I drew the first design for Abel, which was his corrupted side. Originally, Abraxas was supposed to be the only child of Bad and Skeppy for the Crimson alternate timeline. However, I started to debate this idea for the universe when on March 22nd, the following day, I created Ozzy's first look as well. I thought that this could perhaps be Abraxas’s original form, but obviously, the designs and styles were very different from one another. I also struggled with picking a name for the only child, trying to decide between the names Abraxas and Asriel. I ultimately could not decipher which design and which name I liked most, so I then created the fraternal twin boys that are now the main characters of this AU.
As I have explained before, Abraxas and Asriel were conceived through pure and ancient magic. This magic known as the Aura of Fertility is what essentially carried the two. It is, what I like to refer to as their version of a birth mother, despite that it is only a spell containing powerful energy. The Aura has the ability to conceive offspring for individuals that find they have a limit to do such. The circumstances does not particularly matter, whether it be a couple of the same sex or opposite, difference in species, or even how many want to conceive and share the same offspring. Such as the case for the twins' parents, whom are both of the same gender and are of incompatible species.
I posted a status yesterday on DA about a new one-shot book I published to Wattpad. This render is in reference to the first chapter of the book, as I was unfortunately unable to complete part 2 of the short story similarly titled "The Conception." I hoped to have this particularly story done by Abel and Ozzy's birthday, but seeing as how I wouldn't, I wanted to still post something. So, I decided to make the picture you see here. If you have not checked out part 1 of the story and are interested, I will link it here:
The Little Things - Skephalo Family Oneshots (Crimson AU)
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Models:
BadBoyHalo @ TheBioticJoker (Planet Minecraft) (edited)
Skeppy @ Pumpapastej (Planet Minecraft) (edited)
Skeppy eboy @ P0mp (Planet Minecraft) (edited)
Abel (Infant Style 1) @ dawn-wasabi
Asriel (Infant Style 1) @ dawn-wasabi
Textures:
Wiccan White Pentagram Vector Clip Art (edited)
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Featured:
BadBoyHalo
Skeppy
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MCYT @ various content creators. Abraxas and Asriel belong to me. This next gen/au belongs to me.
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You are NOT permitted to use this render!
#dream smp#dsmp#idots smp#idots#minecraft youtubers#mcyt#mcyt badboyhalo#mcyt skeppy#badboyhalo#skeppy#au#crossover#mineimator
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The Red Devil’s Chronicles’ Devil May Cry January 2022 News Updates: Crypto Trouble, Anniversaries, Merch, etc.
Hey, how's it going? Hope everyone's 2022 year has started off all right. Here are all of January 2022's Devil May Cry related news updates I've found:
1. There's going to be another Devil May Cry V pachislot game.
2. CAPCOM is looking for content creators from USA.
3. January marks Johnny Bosch (Nero)'s and Morikawa Toshiyuki (Dante)'s birth dates.
4. The Deluxe version of Asmus Toys' DMCV Vergil figure comes with spiral swords. b) Speaking of figures, I came across this really nice-looking Trish one on Ebay from H3ll.
5. January marks the anniversaries of Devil May Cry 2, Devil May Cry 3 Special Edition, and Devil May Cry 4.
6. Prime1Studio celebrates Devil May Cry's 20th anniversary by selling certain merch that can only be found in the Shinjuku Marui Annex, in the Prime 1 Studio Gallery of Japan. b) Another thing you can find there.
7. Speaking of merch, the CAPCOM Cafe's holding another Devil May Cry V event this month with these cute little things available. b) And Dante's feature on the CAPCOM store's new art promo. c) And the CAPCOM store has these Devil May Cry V themed manicure sets. d) And more.
8. Crypto/NFT groups are stealing Casey Edwards' Devil May Cry V sound tracks. 9. The Visions of V manga got more updates.
My Thoughts On These Updates:
1. It's too bad that these pachislot/pachinko titles are exclusive to Japan, but we can thank Youtube for some of the wacky footage produced (these are from the previous pachislot title).
2. If I lived in USA and knew what to share from my own content I've created over the years, I would've loved to participate in the Capcom Creators program.
3. A happy (belated) birthday to Johnny and Toshiyuki. Great voice actors for sure.
4. I need more money....to have whatever figures Asmus toys creates. They definitely have improved on their figure building. I'm not much into female character usually, but that Trish figure looks really nice.
5. Happy anniversary to the 3 Devil May Cry games that came out January many years ago. I remember after playing the 1st Devil May Cry how excited I was to play DMC2. Even though I've played games since my preschool/kindergarten years, I still didn't understand gaming at first, I thought DMC2 was better than DMC1 due to the visuals, and stuff. But as the years went by, I understood more and can definitely see the reasons for the backlash with this game. But without it, there wouldn't have been a DMC3 to make up for the mistakes. And it had some pretty great concepts with it, too. Speaking of DMC3...Ahh, Special Edition. After playing the original 3rd, I got hyped when I found out that you can play as Vergil (my 2nd favourite character), fight Jester as a mini boss, and unlock more bonus content. Despite the lack of extra levels, I still enjoyed it. DMC4 on the other hand, I was so hyped about this game until I saw how repetitive and unfinished it was. Don't get me wrong, I still enjoy the cinematics, characters, and gameplay mechanics, but this game definitely needed more stuff happening.
6 and 7. That's awesome what CAPCOM features on their promo art for their store, and those acrylic stands in the next cafe event look so adorable. Japan really has better things when it comes to video game stuff. I got curious and looked up Devil May Cry stuff on Ebay, and I found out that you can get quite a bit of the CAPCOM store items on there, especially the Prime1Studio statues. Thing is, I'm not sure if Japan ships to Canada. Even if they did, it's very costly (according to the prices displayed). It's interesting that they have a manicure set 'cause I happen to be an aesthetician (someone who does nails and skincare stuff), so these would be interesting to have for my own enjoyment when taking care of my nails, especially the fact that they come with oils that are supposed to smell like the character fragrances.
8. If there's one thing I can't freaking stand, it's art thieves. Always get permission from artists if you want to share or sell something from them, even if they're credited properly. I've had to deal with a few Devil May Cry Facebook groups (and I got kicked out of 3 of them for this reason) for sharing fan art without the artists' permissions. Yes, giving proper credit like profile links and such is great, but please...please...PLEASE ask permission from them before sharing their stuff? If anything, you're just a clout chaser that’s stealing their clout and motivation of wanting to continue making any more content more than helping them out. I admit that I made these mistakes on my Facebook pages in the past, but I've removed all of them since 2020 and don't plan on reposting fan content anymore (except mod links) , unless I get permission which I will show proof of. I really hope that Casey gets his songs back. 9. I've been seeing some image previews and fan reactions on Twitter often of the Visions of V manga's continuation, but I still need to catch up. Glad it's still ongoing compared to the DMC1 comics and DMC3 mangas.
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ANNOUNCEMENT: NOT A HELLO, BUT NOT A GOODBYE EITHER
omg hi ... im like . ashamed to come back after saying brief hiatus in october and then disappearing off the face of the earth til FEBRUARY but under the cut i will be explaining myself and the following, if youre interested (and a tl;dr at the very bottom if you don’t wanna scroll thru this obnoxiously long post):
the reason(s) i was gone for so long
what i was doing during that time (its just a personal account yall can scroll past this idrc)
the status of those um . halloween requests
the future of this account
i. so . Hiatus .
i know. i know . i probably mentioned it when i made the announcement post, but my mental health likes to go on one of those rides. yknow the ones where you go like up rlly fast then down maybe and then up then DOWN .... its like that. i needed a break and every time i wanted to come back or thought about it, something would happen and i would get stuck in my own head.
a big reason for getting stuck in my head was (and i hate to admit this ... i hate to admit that i have Insecurities On The Internet) my feelings of inadequacy regarding my writing. i love to plot fics, i love concepts and characters and making little headcanons but i dont ... know if i love writing rn. and i thought for the longest time that like . whatever ill just push thru it its fine ill be fine but it kinda wasnt lmao you can kinda see it in my halloween reqs and what become of them when i get to that but i began to feel like nothing i had put out or would put out would hold up prose wise (and normally i dont feel like this im much more “idc its my life im living it” but thats not a rant for tumblr LMAO). i still feel like that -- like im better as a reader than a writer. but . You Know :-)
tl;dr: mental state go brrrrr
ii. anywhere here’s wonderwall
when i left, i was in a steadily decreasing mental and emotional state, made worse by a situation at work that really was a case of petty jealousy on my end and rlly isnt very consequential now despite how much pain and resentment it gave me when it Was a problem so i wont get into it. the tl;dr of november and december was me using work as an crutch and distraction -- i know my job, i do it well, it helped me not think about my responsibilities and obligations and inadequacies. of course, as the holiday season grew busier n busier i was scheduled so often that i moved 88 or so miles (according to my apple watch, which i ONLY wear at work since im never anywhere else outside my house) and fell into a cycle of showering n sleeping at my house before going back the next day. (theres definitely something to be said abt capitalism and “grind culture” here but once again its not the time or place snsjkdfds)
at the turn of the new year, i happened to remember a birthday card i hadnt filed away for safekeeping from a friend of mine that id been horribly out of touch with til that point. i started crying because i realized how out of touch id been in general up until that point. the month of january was great for me: i was focused, happy, and in a much better place than i had been before. the end of it brought me down focus wise and im hoping that enough time away from my distractions will refocus me bc i ... need it LMAO and though ive burned out from that level of productivity and gotten distracted again im ... trying to stay positive which i think is the most i can do 😁👍🏼
media wise, i got real into stardew valley (but burned out bc i played it extensively as a way to wind down after work), the pokemon platinum romhack renegade platinum (still havent finished it bc of school n i played it w the intent to see if i could nuzlocke it ... bitch its so hard but its so fun bc of it), briefly assassins creed: odyssey (im one of those ppl who completes an entire region before i move to the next so you can tell i burned out of that one + wouldnt have the time to properly devote to it even if i didnt), got back into genshin impact after pulling for xiao (after not touching it for like . months), and danganronpa. yes . danganronpa 😐 i Know. i stopped playing it after the second trial of the first game bc i was so hurt by the outcome and picked it up in late january only to get sucked in (thank god i had the foresight to buy the second and third games during the steam winter sale). rn im at the start of chapter 4 if anyone wants to come in my asks and um . talk to me abt danganronpa
tl;dr: I’m Into Danganronpa Now
iii. you realize halloween was three months ago right
i mentioned this in the first section, but i love to plot things. every request is plotted or at least has a solid foundation. i had fun detailing what concept i wanted to go with considering what i was given, and there were some bangers i might touch up in the future. but heres whats going to happen to the requests themselves:
there are two finished requests. one will be posted tomorrow and the other will be touched up (just bc i finished it doesnt mean its good 🧍♂️) and scheduled for next saturday. as for the ones i never got around to ...
i will not be finishing those requests. i hate to be That Person, but i feel like we all expected this 🧍♂️ what i will do is post all of my notes for each request in batches -- requests that have an @ to go with them will be mentioned in the post proper, but anon asks will be pictured. (there are some asks that came from blogs who are now deactivated but i wrote down all the prompts and remember most of those askers so ill cross that bridge when i get there) there will most likely be an excerpt or two simply bc i think i mightve written a few plot points or interactions in the form of bullet points. i rlly am sorry about doing this but i remember looking at my notion doc with all the prompts and feeling ... like i wasnt measuring up n it wasnt just to myself or to some intangible concept of “other” id constructed but it was instead to those who requested n actually WANTED to see and hear and read my writing and i ...... im gonna admit thats another big reason i avoided this site.
regardless, youll definitely get what i have (and likely more than just my bullet points and illegible handwriting).
tl;dr: im sorry. what i have in terms of plot, concept, and interaction for every request will be posted, but i cant say ill ever complete them and mean it.
iv. so what now?
well i mean . im not entirely sure how sold i am on haikyuu in the content creation department (as a creator n to a lesser extent, as a consumer). as mentioned previously, its no longer my primary focus. it doesnt mean im not into haikyuu anymore; i have a lot of love for those boys but i cant rlly say im even caught up w recent fandom activity and also havent even finished s4 pt2 LMAO thats on my to do list
and despite all that, i still want to share my plots n concepts and snippets and maybe even fics. it wont happen anytime soon. it might not even happen. but i mean . its better than me saying i wont write ever again shjdkfs but either way ill probably use this blog as a personal blog w the occasional ask game for dialogue prompts (those are always so fun i love making up aus to fit like . the most mundane prompts)
as for my works (past and any potential future), ive opened an ao3 acc here n ill be editing n possibly expanding on my old works to post there. tumblr, to me, is The x reader hub, but i figure more x reader fics on ao3 is never a bad thing.
ill be deleting/posting drafted posts to the queue since they were all meant to be queued anyway as well as (sorry again 🧍♂️) deleting or answering asks in the inbox. (moots if you get a notif from me saying i rbed your post from months ago ... mind your business) im very hard to get ahold of and its ... a problem. expect an overhaul of the nav n shit to reflect my new direction n also because i feel like i cant tell if my passion for carrd is shared by the majority HSDKLFS maybe its better to read my info in a normal post ykwim .......
and of course . if youve read all this n decided im no longer worth the follow, i sure as hell cant stop you. thank you for wanting to, at some point, hear what i have to say -- it means more than you think.
tl;dr: writing will be edited and reposted to ao3, this blog will be a personal blog with a hint of writing (sometimes)
the tl;dr to end all tl;drs:
im back! i wont be as active as i used to due to a lessened interest in haikyuu in general, but i have an ao3 acc now where all my past work will be edited, possibly expanded, and reposted. any future work will also find itself there. my halloween requests will be posted in batches as incomplete concepts, plots, and snippets of scenes; i wont be promising to finish any of them.
there are still fic concepts im attached to and want to finish, but i cant promise any more writing on my end. this blog will be a personal blog with maybe writing, not a writing blog with my personal thoughts all over it.
regardless if you stick around or not, its been crazy sexy cool (equal emphasis) being on haikyuu tumblr even tho i wasnt around for long ... even tho its not my main focus anymore, im still excited to see what the future might hold 🤝
love, ari 💌
#did i have an announcement tag#announcement#also regarding work hsjkdfsd the company i work for didnt give my location the opening for the full time position i wanted#my managers all agree id be promoted if we had it but we dont so i . hee .#anyway um i hope everyones doing well#some of my moots changed urls while i was away and now i have no idea who anyone is#its like when you see your familys friends and theyre like omg youre so big now! i remember when you were a baby and youre like 🧍♂️#and you have to play along bc apparently they remember you hskdfsd#im not very funny in this post but i figured id rather be honest considering my lengthy absence#consider this my comeback stage
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immj2 09.10.20 lb
lol, lemme preface this by telling you what i know about the show from my out-of-context insta-viewing:
kabir sends his gf riddhima in to spy on vansh RAISINGHANIA (naam ka wazan check karein ji. kaafi hi bhaari-bharkam, just like the fake baritone the actor playing the character is being forced to put on.) vansh is some kinda shady, but idk WHAT SPECIFIC KIND of shady..... like is he just your garden-variety-evil-capitalist-ala-ambani-bezos, or is he into shit like drug smuggling and human/organ trafficking???? no one knows. maybe a little bit of both. but kabir’s a COP, and we all know that those fuckers are the shadiest shits around (#ACAB) so yeah, true to type, kabir shadyyyyyyyy. he’s actually the secret illegitimate son of vansh’s stepmom and together they wanna ruin vansh and take all his monies. so anyway, kabir sends in riddhima, who’s just a whole special brand of dumbass, but also extraordinarily determined in the way only tellywood heroines are. so she’s basically sticking her nose everywhere that doesn’t belong and being a pain in the ass of literally everyone in the show, including her own (coz she seems to get injured in novel and entertaining ways in every second episode.) kabir ultimately manipulates her into marrying vansh, while vansh has apparently married her KNOWING that she’s a spy and is probably playing the long game to see who her puppet-master is. long story short, heterosexuality is too potent a force and the Stupid Spy Girl and Gangsta Guy are currently slowly giving in to the Feelz™, despite missing that one-little-teensy-weensy-who-even-needs-it-in-a-real-relationship thing. y’know, that little thing called, idk, i think it’s called “TRUST” or some such strange unheard-of concept.
oh, in between all this there’s also some bizarre plot about some ex of vansh’s called ragini, who’s dead??? missing? idk. kabir is real interested in that and wants to jail vansh for it, but we’ve long forgotten about ragini by this point #RIPSis anyway, there’s some kinda statue of her’s in the attic or some shit, coz vansh is some kinda modern day gender-reversed medusa who turns women who cross him into statues??? idk man, idk. so riddhima is pretty much in constant danger of being statue-d.
also vansh has a requisite irritating famiy in tow, that he’s burdened with being in charge of (coz no rest for the unfortunate eldest son who lives in this godforksaken mansion, be that an oberoi or a raisinghania) feat: a dadi who is well-meaning, but as annoying as the one in IB was, constantly spouting platitudes about how vansh and Spy Girl trooooooly lurrrrrrrrrrve each other *kissy noises*; some chachi/chacha who are all “HEY WHY DOES HE GET TO BE THE BOSS, WE WANT CONTROL OF THE CRORE-ON KA BIJNESS TOO”, some very fake kanji-eyed siblings/cousins who are supreme bitches, and ofc one (1) normal sibling who is sweet but really does nothing around here. oh and there’s his right hand man/bff too, who seems to be not 100% (maybe just 83%?) incompetent like everyone else. that poor sod just got suckered into marrying Kanji Aankhon Waali Bitch Sister, who is pregnant with some total rando’s baby, and is just an all-round asshole to Riddhima/Right Hand Man, because “ugh, yeh do kaudi ke middle class naukar log, cheeeeee.”
ok now that the sasta, not-at-all-useful recap has been done, LET’S GET INTO THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.
———————————————————————
the chachi is screaming her goddamn headdddd off coz her room is on fire. ofc it is. when has anything good ever happened in this manhoos house of horrors.
lmao the kanji eyed cousin has like 3% concern that his mom will be fried like a taaza jalebi. he's literally sauntering luxuriously towards his mom's room jaise park mein tehel raha ho.
chachi's screaming is getting on my nerves. aunty you're wasting valuable oxygen this way.
riddhima is behind some secret box that aryan and chachi stashed in the room.
THESE PPL ARE SO CHILL ABOUT A WHOLE ROOM ON FIRE (note: it’s shivaay's room in IB) and they're just hanging out in the living room (which if you’ll remember, IS ATTACHED TO THE ROOM THAT WAS SHIVAAY’S) as if fire doesnt have a tendency to y'know.......... SPREAD RAPIDLY.
riddhima is fighting with the bloody fireman saying ki i need to save the box. #priorities
aaaaaaand the fireman is kabir, who has come to haath maarofy on Box of Secrets.
and we know this coz he did a DRAMAAAAAAAAATIC reveal by taking off his mask. in a room FULLY ON FIRE. idhar non-flaming rooms mein bhi ab mask nikaalna danger ho gaya hai, and this guy justtttttttttt dgaf. tum jaison ki wajaah se hi we can't bloody stop the spread.
my god this house has been decorated soooooooo fucking tackily. never thought the oberois would be the classy ones.
shady saasumaa and riddhima stinkeye-ing each other over a bowl of shehed. lol, what even. truly some "rasode mein kaun tha" lvl of politics.
oh ho, saasumaa and kabir lagaaofied the aag.
saasumaa gloating over the fact that riddhima will now never get her hands on Box of Secrets.
flashback time: hahahahaha KABIR LITERALLY LOBBED A MOLOTOV COCKTAIL INTO THE ROOM AND CHACHI DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING HEAR IT OR ANYTHING. lmao everyone in this show is a dumbass. how blissful life must be with just one (1) working brain cell.
riddhima runs into flaming room. ofc now we will have a prolonged sequence where kabir tries to keep his identity and riddhima being the dheent that she is, will give chase.
please note, that not even 48 hours ago, this woman walked barefoot on a bed of coals AND a hallway full of broken glass. AND NOW SHE'S RUNNING FULL SPEED BEHIND KABIR AS IF SHE’S PT USHA. SIS, TUMHARE PAIR HAIN KI KYA HAIN? YOU'RE LONG OVERDUE FOR AN INTENSE PEDICURE AFTER THIS WEEK.
and ofc, he got into a getaway car and made it away.
yeh lo, iss beech mein dadi behosh. ouff.
whooooooooops, dadi has some weird blue nishaan on her neck.
LMAO KABIR SHOT AT RIDDHIMA WITH A POISON BULLET OR SYRINGE OR SOME SHIT, WHICH HIT DADI INSTEAD. LMAO MAN THIS SHOW. IT'S SO FUCKING DUMB, I LOVE IT.
some more stinkeye politics between saas bahu.
bahu is passive-aggressively giving saasumaa roses to congratulate her on winning this round.
riddhima is dheent!max. she's like kuch bhi ho, i'll find the secret anyway and your victory will witherrrrrrr awayyyyyyyy like these flowerssssss and you will be left with the thorns that will prick youuuuuuuu!!!!!!!
LMAO SAAS IS FULLY ROLLING HER EYES AT RIDDHIMA'S DRAMATIC ASS #SAME
just looking at helly's ears is making my ears hurt like a bitch.
hey riddhima, have you ever thought that maybe this secret child of hers is NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS?????? like honestly, the entitlement desis have to know the workings of other ppl’s wombs.
lol dumbass mummyji crumpled the flowers in her hand and played right into riddhima's stupid kaante waala metaphor. #ramMilayiJodi
hero ko covid hai toh ainvayi ke phone calls se kaam chalaana pad raha hai.
the dude left his house for literally the first time in months and the place is on fire and dadi got shot in the neck with poison. and the wife doesn't think she should tell him so that he doesn't become "pareshaan". sure, this seems like a dude who'll take this kinda thing real light when he finds out later.
(hint: he’s not. he’s a crazed, overprotective weirdo about his family. sound familiar?????)
this guy's dialogue delivery is so dodgy. idk what it is, it just seems so affected.
that plus the ainvayi ka editing just showing him in some random car (clearly from the earlier eps) is just adding to the jankiness of the scene.
husband dude seems to know wifey's quirks quite well. kinda cute, kinda creepy.
lol kal tak toh yeh banda itna romantic nahi tha. like he had a smooth moment here and there, but he was mostly real awkward and robotic and unsure how to handle These Strange New Feelings™. now he’s spouting cheesyass lines about being able to see the one who is special to you with dil ki aankhein and idk what.
who are these people who like SHARING their room with another person? #unrealistic
but i also i get you, riddhima. he was pretty much the only thing worth looking at in this room, coz the rest of it is so damn fugggggg. this room should be the one set on fire.
dang, some steamy scenes between them in the flashbacks. ouff abhi jaake episodes dhundne padenge. coz #tharkiTTisTharki
riddhima doing dadi seva. boooooooooring.
ofc dadi ki sui is always atkofied on playing cupid for pota, taaki she can score some par-pota/potis.
riddhima ki best friend ka happy birthday hai.
riddhima is like a lottttt has happened in my life, can't really tell you over a call. yup, that’s for sure.
ok apparently sejal who said she’s in dubai now is NOT in dubai?? she's just up and flew to mumbai to "surprise" riddhima...... on HER OWN birthday? #doesNotCompute
lmao kabir's annoyance with mummy's useless glass of water. WHY DO MOMS THINK EVERYTHING CAN BE SOLVED WITH DRINKING MORE WATER?!?!?!!
now he's yelling at mom about how she's ruined everything. sure. blame the only one who's actually doing shit around here, while you sit on your ass in this room, glaring and growling like a hangry bear.
some menacing dialogue about how he needs to thikaane lagaaofy riddhima's hosh.
which has been overheard by bff sejal, who went and dropped a showpiece from shock. cool. so she gonna die. bye sejal, hardly got to know ya!
sejal being here doesn’t even make sense. she thought he was a PT teacher. then why did she show up here at his police waala office? also how did she connect the dots about the whole damn story with like 0.04% context that she got from what she overheard? kuchhhhhhh bhi.
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2020, According To My Tumblr Archive
January
Like many, freaked out about the Dhawan!Master reveal
Unus Annus reached 2 million subs
Ethan finally saw his sub count reach 1 million
Reblogged the elf pussy post with a version of the elf practice meme and now every time I see that meme, I think of that post
Finally made my Dyspraxic!Chase post
Fleshed out Creator!Jackie a little in terms of Nyesha (his girlfriend) and his prosthetics
February
Got really into Take Me or Leave Me for a short while which led to me watching RENT for the first time
Finally made that follow up to A Talk With The Creator I’d been meaning to write for months (aka A Day Long Overdue)
Started posting Unus Annus trigger warnings for a few weeks after the video where they demonstrate how they’d kill each other as a joke
Reached the 100 follower milestone after nearly 4 years on this site
Got very into WTNV again and binged like 60+ episodes in the space of 2 or so weeks
March
Watched Starkid’s Black Friday
Posted The Doctor on the anniversary of The Friend’s posting
Made some posts about the women of TLoJJ for International Women’s Day
Bupine received an anon ask teasing her about a typo which is common in our friendship group. Usual suspects were accused until the true culprit revealed themself via an acrostic (aka me being extra and I loved every second of it)
Went to the cat cafe in Nottingham
Made sure people were aware of World Puppetry Day by sending anon asks to people I thought might get a kick out of it
Posted Fighting Stolen Breaths
Steven Universe Future ended
Having been in the beginning stages of creation since ~Oct 2019, Jumbled AU content starts appearing
April
Spent the 1st doing an ask event for the Jumbled AU as a way of properly introducing it
Confused a bunch of people outside the Jacksepticeye community when I made a post saying how great it was that $400k had been raised in 2.5 hours during the HopeFromHome stream
Posted The Vlogger for Chase’s birthday
Got hyped to write a Śmigus Dyngus fic featuring Jumbled!Chase and his kids but got sick (regular illness, don’t worry) and therefore never finished it
Norbert Moses existed for 24 hours but he will exist much longer in our hearts
Managed to stay up to see 4:20am on April 20th
Posted the prologue and officially began the story of Jumbled
Watched Ghost for the first time
May
Fanders finally got the continuation of Selfishness vs Selflessness (Putting Others First aka SvS Redux) and learned Deceit’s name
Started talking about The Fall of Naesia
Pretty sure I hyperfixated on Queen for a week or so
Got introduced to ‘Storp Chorleigh, this game has gorn on lawng enuff’ and my life has significantly improved
CumGate happened
Got into ATLA
Black Lives Matter
Created the ‘it’s gonna be gay’ post that would destroy my inbox for the next few days
Had my first experience behind a wheel
June
Posted Flag, the response to which has made me proud of it
Poland scares and disappoints me part 1 (queer rights edition)
Sean posts another blooper video which causes me to make edits that subsequently inspire me to write Little Interruptions
Created an entire mythology purely because I thought a winged humanoid/merperson pairing was a cool concept
Reminded my friends why I should never be allowed to stay up until 4am because I just start talking nonsense
July
Finally watched An Inspector Calls and immediately wanted to make a Sanders Sides au with it.
Started talking about Creator again
Had another ask event to celebrate Jackie’s birthday
Also posted Photographs for his birthday which I love
Reached 150 followers around the middle of this month, I think
Discovered Kipo but wouldn’t fall for it head over heels with it for another month
One Direction celebrated their 10th anniversary and I was possessed by my 15 year old self for a week
Posted The Mediary which properly brought Creator AU back to my blog for a short while
August
Eddsworld came back after years
Posted The Creator and officially completed the main part of the au
Poland scares and disappoints me part 2 (queer rights edition continued)
Finally revealed Jumbled Anti’s identity to the world and got threatened on my birthday because of it
Discovered the Unus Annus video I’d been waiting all year for would be centered around them chewing on dog toys but it did feature “I’m the Unus to your Annus” so that was cool
Binged the first 2 seasons of Kipo in like a day and correctly predicted the Mega Monkey’s identity ages with very little foreshadowing to go off of
September
Started showing my love for Puppet History
Among Us was a thing
Got back into Playchoices
BBC Ghosts came back for series 2
Watched Pride twice in 24 hours and made sure everyone knew I’m heart eyes for it
October
Trump got sick
Family friend took one of my teeth
The world was blessed with Patton in a dress
Replayed Septiscape ahead of Soulscape’s release and liveblogged it
C!Thomas got a love interest and I’m really happy for him
Kipo season 3 came out
Literally the next day, the Dream SMP brainrot officially began
Discovered Thanzag existed and fell for the angsty side of their relationship despite knowing barely anything about the game
Poland scares and disappoints me part 3 (abortion edition)
Started bingeing The Magnus Archives and got through 150 episodes in about 2 weeks
Halloween was an eventful night for both the Jacksepticeye and Unus Annus communities
November
Unus Annus began its epilogue period
Watched V For Vendetta for the first time which was probably the least eventful thing to happen on the night of November 5th 2020
Destiel became somewhat canon and people found out Putin was thinking of resigning because of that
US elections
Unus Annus died following a 12 hour livestream
Somehow, my mad attempt to summarise every video of Unus Annus kinda paid off
Supernatural trended again because of its finale
Went through a period of questioning whether I’m asexual but settled on ‘sex ambivalent allosexual’ for now
Destiel became canon again but reciprocated and Spanish this time
Discovered Webtoon and Castle Swimmer
December
The monolith saga began
Elliot Page came out as trans
Mark went to hospital for an obstruction again and the community became very invested in his recovery process
Scotch eggs with your drinks became a brief meme over here in Britain
Your New Boyfriend was released
Destiel’s canon status was brought back to the spotlight once more
Watched The Godfather for the first time
Reached 200 followers
We got somewhat of a Dan and Phil video after so long with Phil trying on clothes while Dan reacts behind the camera
BBC Ghosts came back for Christmas to say Tories suck and you should make the most of your time with your family
Got into Mother Mother after Wilbur played the intro to Hayloft and I decided to see what the fuss was about
Watched Bridgerton and immediately felt the need to write something historical
The Mishapocalypse returned
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Lol ah if I ever do cross line, slap this book anon with a fish lol
PREACH IT!!! facts, facts and once again facts were spoken. You have summed up that entire section brilliantly love! Dare I say, mic drop
Onto the merch and I saw! I was surprised in a good way to see them! Hybe must have heard us complaining lol but no, they can create nice merch! While not the svt color scheme,it is very much in line to what you can think of merch for the boys. Simple and cute I think! Very bright from the orange shades i remember seeing, granted I will admit the bag is very similar to the one they sold for txt's online fan concert as well(?) So idk if this is just their common purse style they have pre-made and will change it up via color scheme wise but nonetheless, we can see decent merch being made. I think we will see over time improvements, I could very much see hybe adopting the bts album inspired merch for svt (idk how long that lasted but I do recall seeing merch inspired by their love yourself album or their tear albums so I could see maybe hybe putting out merch related to a mini series of the YMMD era? Of course please do not take my words as facts. I sadly don't work for hybe xD but just an idea I could maybe see happening and I think that could be cool! These might be a bit more pricier because I remember those merch were like limited edition so they cost a bit more which funnily could be the going svt merch idea you gave! I think that would be fun like imagine a makeup purse or a small bag based off the old pastel title screen ahh that would be cute!) Now brings us the ahem, more obvious cash grabs. Now, I will say the only time I can recall this also happening with sm artist. I always remember seeing those bday limited edition merch being sold and this was usually small items like a necklace, key ring, etc. It wasn't a t-shirt or something wild so maybe this is where hybe got inspired? Idk if this will be for all hybe artist though, would be weird if it just for svt. Like I get it, more members means more money but like ??? Make it make sense. I do agree with you, if we do have a good balance of good quality merch and have the few not so great merch it can work out? Of course call out merch that isn't ok like the plastic water bottles (I doubt that helps because fans of bts did this and welp, the resold it like I said so I doubt bighit would listen but still, we should make our voices heard!) And oohhh gotchas! Yeah I haven't hear of the rings situation at all, am happy they didn't do it. I guess in a way, I could maybe see what pledis wanted to do? But why replicas? They could have just done a simple svt inspired ring, not the personal one the boys own jdjajdjajs
Oohhh touche, while I'm personally not a fan of streaming parties, I can see why companies do them and it is valid c:
Caratland, ah yes. I keep forgetting about it fjsdns. Are you planning on watching it? I'm sure we will see some new songs being performed and knowing the boys, they will find a creative way to mix things up haha.
Before I go, I must say I remember finishing hoshi xD bro I remember seeing this happen live while my twitter gc were all watching the kcon livestream and we were all losing our minds xD like the timeline was in chaos and laughing about how they could lose hoshi but also how very on brand it was so anon, a great way to become a fan lolol
(is the slapping with a fish a reference to something or just something you like to say? dhfjfh either way it makes me laugh!)
yeah it makes sense if they would have the same template/design for basic merch items like totes, shirts, hats and things like that and just changed the color or print design. honestly that doesn't bother me so long as the basic sort of merch is in addition to more unique merch items if that makes sense.
ooh old album inspired merch is an interesting idea! although honestly I'd just settle for reprints of the old albums themselves OTL idk if that's something hybe can do directly though since they're not the original manufacturers of the old albums. like I'm sure pledis could reprint the old albums if they really wanted to, but there may be legal issues to work out if they want to switch to hybe manufacturing them + selling them permanently on weverse shop. idk how easy or hard that is since I'm not a legal expert but that would be my guess! i still hope it happens some day though... finding old albums is hard TT
yeah i wouldn't be surprised if other companies have done birthday merch, it seems like the type of thing kpop companies in general would try to make money off of dhfkf. honestly the concept of birthday merch in general I'm just like... *sigh* yeah, ok. like i don't think it's immoral to profit off of it or anything but it's just an example of capitalism at its finest you know? at this point I'm just like, if you're going to make birthday merch at least go all in with the individual member customization instead of making it all plain black TT like I'm sure some ppl do like that kind of design and no judgement there. it's not inherently bad. but its all very... professional? corporate? not sure if those are the words I'm looking for dhfkf but like they could have incorporated a lot of personal elements like the cherry motif or let cheol dress up in his favorite clothes for the photoshoot and things like that you know? also the hand thing was just weird at the very least i hope they scrap that idea for the other members if they get bday merch TT and yeah I'll also be interested to hear if other hybe groups also get b-day merch...
I actually can't remember if the rings were "replicas" in the sense that they had the members names on them/were the exact design SVT members had. it may have been a "carat" version of the ring, in which case replica may not be the right word to use. but either way they were definitely marketed as being like... the equivalent of a seventeen ring if that makes sense? and that being the case even if wasn't the exact same design it still wouldn't have sat right with me, it just feels too close to home. i do remember thinking at the time that they could have made something like a bracelet or necklace that could be like a mirror to SVTs rings but still something distinctly different. like it could still show SVT and carats connection while not intruding on SVT members status and the work they put in to get that title... but i digress!
I'm almost certainly not gonna watch it live dhfjfh for one online concerts and fanmeetings just aren't worth the cost for me... maybe if it was $20 or less id spare the money but I'm not gonna pay $50 to watch a livestream at 3am DHFKFH. and even if i were considering it, I'm traveling on the 9th so i can't be up late to watch it live even if i wanted to. i know they have delayed times for replays but if it's not live then it's even less worth it to spend the money imo. so likely I'll just keep my eyes peeled for a pirated version after the fact dhfkf
it really was so chaotic... its interesting to hear sometimes the crazy ways ppl got into the fandom or were first exposed to SVT dhfjfh especially since my own stanning story is more sentimental(?) rather than funny
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EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO NOW ABOUT NOVA ELIZABETH TAYLOR !!
UNDER THE CUT YOU WILL FIND COUNTLESS CHARACTER TRAITS, FACTS AND STATS ABOUT NOVA.
*just added
**edited/changed
name: nova elizabeth taylor
nickname(s): just nova, no nicknames.
name significance/meaning: in portugeuse and latin the word nova is translated as ‘new’. but in the english dictionary the word it used to describe a star showing a sudden large increase in brightness and then slowly returning to its original state over a few months.
gender: cisfemale
age: twenty one
birthday: september 28th 1998
zodiac sign: virgo
birthplace: brentwood
ethnicity: white
nationality: american
skin tone: pale
eye color: brown
natural hair color: brown
height: 5 ft 10 in
weight: 128 lb
lefthanded/righthanded/ambidextrous: right handed
age character appears to others: 19
dyed hair color: dark brown
usual hairstyle: down, uncombed
tattoos: none
piercings: visual
clothing style: visual
voice: audio
extrovert or introvert: introvert
personality traits: reticent, sardonic, dependable, uncoordinated, dreary, indifferent
optimist or pessimist: pessimist
mood: grumpy, bored
attitude: laidback
strengths: determined, intelligent, witty,
flaws: sarcastic, reserved, self-critical
mannerisms: running her fingers through her hair, crossing her arms, rolling her eyes
habits: biting nails, biting bottom lip, cracking knuckles
morning person or night owl: night owl
pet peeves: when people tell her to do something she was planning on doing already, hearing someone chew their food
favorite sin: sloth
favorite virtue: patience
ruled by heart or mind: mind
mindset: it izzz what it izzzz
motivated by: herself
life motto: i am the cause of, and the solution to, most all of my problems.
energy level: 6.2/10
memory level: 8.2/10
disabilities: none
phobias: heights
addictions: marijuana, cigarettes (she doesn’t drink alcohol)
allergies: peaches
job title: book store clerk
education: bachelor of arts - english
college: university of vancouver
work ethic: average
job history: has had the same bookstore job since the eleventh grade
income: $15.24/hour
dream job: author
what job would she do poorly at: doctor (she would definitely suck at bedside manner)
favorite foods: fries, chocolate ice cream, broccoli, spinach,
favorite drinks: nestea, water
favorite movie: the fight club
favorite music artist: khalid
favorite book: twilight
favorite place: brentwood
favorite activities: taking photos, reading, surfing (she sucks at it but enjoys it)
favorite time of day: sundown
what makes them happy? taking pictures, being around her friends, summer
what makes them sad? every season that isn’t summer, the concept of family
hobbies: photography, writing
favorite animal: elephants
raised by: mother
parent status: separated
mother’s name: elizabeth hanes
mother’s age: 41
mother’s background: american
father’s name: anthony taylor
father’s age: 42
father’s background: american
relationship with mother: nova and her mother don’t have the strongest relationship. growing up, nova felt as if her mother was too hovering. there were always limits to what she was allowed to do. as nova got older, she started to rebel against her mother's rules and demands which caused a strain in their relationship. although they don’t despise each other, they also don’t show much intimacy towards the other. nova never felt as if she could trust in her mother with her secrets or go to her for advice. she was too afraid she would judge her too harshly if she knew the personal details of novas life.
relationship with father: this is probably the most complicated relationship in novas life. until nova was fourteen, her father was in jail. during that time they had no relationship as he had been out of her life since she was an infant. by the time she was fifteen her father reached out to her and asked her for money. and so nova managed to put together some money to give to him. whenever she would visit brentwood she would secretly visit her father and help him around the house (buy groceries, lend him money, clean his house). this sort of relationship went on until she was eighteen. she was tired of feeling used by her father so she cut him out of her life. she continued to visit brentwood but avoided him at all cost. she was 20 when her father (kinda??) fixed up his life and nova allowed him back into her life. (you can probably find more info here)
only child? no
first born, middle child, or youngest? first born
# of siblings: one half brother
relationship with siblings: novas kinda like a mom figure to her brother. despite the big age gap between them they get along fairly well. he goes to brentwood with her every summer
how has family life shaped the character? nova often distances herself from emotionally getting attached to people. she can come off as very standoffish when it comes to having close connections with others. this isolated behaviour has rooted from her vacant relationship with her mother and father. having no relationship with them fostered her to have a very self dependent nature.
sexual orientation: bisexual
relationship status: single
notable ex-lovers: n/a
top 3 loved ones: the gang
top 3 disliked ones: her father, ??, ??
how have they changed as a person throughout their life? nova has slowly become less of an introvert overtime. throughout her teens nova barely spoke without being called upon and kept to herself. now as she’s getting older she voices her opinion and thoughts when she see’s fit.
major regrets: the first time she lent her father money. she believes it was the start of the dark rabbit hole he dragged her through.
biggest life lessons learned: rely on no one but yourself. nobody is as loyal to you as you are loyal to yourself. if you don’t set high expectations and dependance on people they can’t disappoint you.
religious beliefs: atheist
core values: respect, hedonism, loyalty, humor
morals: always be loyal to your friends. never break a promise, and never make a promise you can't keep. never trust anyone. take less than you give.
favorite memories: the first time she met the gang
least favorite memories: finding her father passed out drunk (the many many times)
things they want in life: to be happy and one day maybe have a family of her own
things they don’t want in life: to be wealthy. she’s a strong believer that money doesn't buy happiness
any secrets: that she is still in contact with her father
what they think of themselves: very little. nova is very self deprecating it and can be a bit excessive at times. she thinks she lacks motivation and personality at times. she also thinks she can be a bit of a jerk when she wants to be.
what they wish they could change: nothing. although she doubts many things about herself and her past actions, she knows that she wouldn’t be who she was without any of it. even so, she knows that it’s impossible to change the past so why dwell on it.
what they wish they could have: a family
risks worth taking: finding that treasure. no matter the cost
things they take for granted: life, good health
what they have doubts about: her future and the direction it is headed
what makes them feel alive: usually anything that ignites her soul. her favourites are: running into the cold ocean water on a hot summer day, developing a photo that turned out perfectly, hearing her friends laugh …
what do they want to be remembered for? her photos. she doesn’t really mind if the memory of herself fades, but as long as the memories she captured in her photos live on forever
#☆°。intel !#man this is so messy i literally have a bunch more to answer but i'm just gonna leave this here for now#shruggggg#nova u strange human
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ALL THE FANTASY ASKS!!!! or any five, if that's too many???? ^^
I will do all of them (under the cut, of course)
edit: another friend asked me some so I’ll answer those separately
Fairy- What is something that you get excited about?
Trying new foods, new series or seasons of series, learning new things
Dragon- Sexuality?
Bi and like ??? not sure about the romantic and/or sexual spectrum tbh
Griffin- Gender?
Cis woman… probably. Tbh I don’t even know how to approach Knowing for sure ya feel? Like.
Unicorn- Who do you look up to?
Honestly a lot of people, right now I’d say Mary Bucholtz and Anne Charity Hudley who are amazing intersectional cutting edge linguists who I’ve had the honor of learning from in their class! Also all of my friends, they’ve really been through so much and accomplished so much!!!
Spirit- Have you ever been in love?
Not yet!
Ghost- Favorite song?
Hhhhhhh I can’t choose one
Poltergeist- Favorite song lyric?
“And I’m the kinda person who starts getting kinda nervous when I’m having the time of my life” from Kacey Musgrave’s “happy and sad” but I think there are a lot of Iconic lines in the music I listen to
Ghoul- Who is someone that makes you laugh easily/who’s company you enjoy most of, if not all of, the time?
You!!! 😊 But most of my friends
Goblin- What makes you happy?
Pokemon, comforting yummy things (especially sweets and warm drinks), cooking, both time with loved ones and time completely alone recharging, and well written fiction
Dwarf- Favorite tv show?
Another one I can’t answer 😅I like so many series I’ve lost track
Vampire- Are you currently reading any books? If so, what book(s)?
Hm, I just started one (How I got here by Ceil Lucas) but I’m not sure if I’ll stick with it
Werewolf- Who is your family? Who do you live with?
My family is my mom and my siblings, though I have a network of friends who are pretty close to, and I live with a friend!
Siren- Favorite color?
Purple or pink, they tie and then blue (… hence why I stick with bi)
Hobgoblin- Do you like anyone?
Not currently
Wraith- Any scars?
Nope
Specter- Have you ever been in love?
Not yet (also this one’s a repeat of spirit?)
Chimera- Will you/do you want to get married?
Possibly!
Changeling- Do you want children?
Not really, or at least, I don’t want the ordeal of pregnancy and giving birth. I might be down with a partner with kids or adopting tho! But in that case I would first have to reflect on whether I was 100% in/committed a LOT, I will not be irresponsible with a person’s whole life
Oracle- Do you like children?
I do! Though I fully admit I like them better when they are at the point where they can communicate to some extent… I struggle with kids who are like
King- Describe your ideal day.
Waking up refreshed, relaxedly making a good breakfast, going on a walk while it’s still cool and quiet, reading a good book, having a meal with someone else, and finishing the day off with a treat
Queen- Age?
22
Princess- What is your relationship with your parents like?
Ok well with my mom we’ve gotten really close these past couple of years, we always got along but I feel like now I’m her confidant (and sometimes mutually) and I have the emotional maturity to be there for her which I love. Sometimes I wonder if it’s a little too much but idk. With my dad it’s strained because most of my childhood memories of him are him pushing me out of my comfort zone or to do things I didn’t want to (re: golf), I know he really loves “me” but I’m not really open to him and sometimes I berate myself for that, sometimes I wonder why he always expects others to go/do things his way and I consider shutting him out (both my siblings already have). He’s helped me a lot in other ways though. He lives in China so we don’t talk or see each other that often
Prince- Birthday?
March
Necromancer- If you could spend a week with anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?
Honestly not sure, do we have to like live together???
Castle- What is something that not a lot of people know about you?
I’m not sure... I feel like there’s a lot, probably, but I guess I’ll go with that I’m really bad with names
Tower- What is (at least one thing) something that you’re afraid of?
Falling into complacency/self-satisfaction in terms of activism, career, life in general
Magic- Describe your crush without saying their name.
Not possible haha
Enchanted Forest- Height?
5″6′
Magic Healer- Any pets? If so, what are they?
Nope
Potions- Relationship status?
Single
Potion Making- Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I’ve uhhh I’ve never kissed anyone so
Divination- What do you think about yourself?
Idk, I wish I was less of an awkward turtle and I have some other issues with myself. But I also know I can have a big heart and I have a lot to be proud of too. In general I feel my self-concept is very nebulous if that makes sense???
Visions- Do you miss anyone?
Maybe
Curses- How do you show affection?
Gifts and checking in!
Charms- Are you religious?
No, I’d like to be sometimes but I wasn’t raised that way
Jinxes- If you could be anywhere, where would you want to be?
Honestly idk… Maybe Italy? Or Japan. There are a few places I want to see, because my friends are from there or there’s food I want to try etc., but also I want to see what the world outside the US is like, since I feel like we’re really insular/self-centered here
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92 Questions
A “should we know us a little better” tag
RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
Tagged by @karaokegoddess </br> THE LAST:
1. Drink: pepsi
2. Phone call: my dad?? probably
3. Text message: from yahoo that told me my account key lmAo
4. Song you listened to: mamasita by latino sunset
5. Time you cried: at the fair with my friends cuz i’m a pussy ass bitch
6. Dated someone twice: no but i wanted to
7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yea,,
8. Been cheated on: who knows
9. Lost someone special: yea
10. Been depressed: every 3-5 business days and occasionally on the weekends
11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: hell no </br> LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: black, green, gold (how on brand of me) </br> IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: the last year has been long and i have no concept of time so idk man probably
16. Fallen out of love: nah
17. Laughed until you cried: nope
18. Found out someone was talking about you: it’s a complicated situation
19. Met someone who changed you: they haven’t really changed me but they really made me happy just by existing
20. Found out who your friends are: yep lmao
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: i haven’t kissed anyone since my freshman year </br> GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: nearly all of them
23. Do you have any pets: at least 5+
24. Do you want to change your name: yes a million times yes
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: bowling?? i think??
26. What time did you wake up: not even like half an hour ago
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: playing fishdom and sleeping
28. Name something you can’t wait for: death
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: not even like,, a couple minutes ago
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: wish i wasn’t so apathetic!!
31. What are you listening right now: nothing
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yea he was a douchebag
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my hair not being the cute kinda curly but instead the puffy, tangled kinda curly
34. Most visited Website: instagram
35. Mole/s: one on my back, like riiiiight on my spine
36. Mark/s: a shit ton of miscellaneous freckles, a birthmark on my hip, a couple scars, some bruises, some cuts, and some acne bumps
37. Childhood dream: rich af and never having to work a day in my life
38. Hair color: brown, with some blonde highlights and a red tint
39. Long or short hair: long??????
40. Do you have a crush on someone: my super amazing gf and this hot girl who’s absolutely terrible for me but whatever
41. What do you like about yourself: HA
42. Piercings: two on both ears, and a septum
43. Bloodtype: i have absolutely no idea
44. Nickname: j*dey (which i asked people to stop calling me), low-key loki, “the worst lesbian"
45. Relationship status: it’s open
46. Zodiac: scorpio
47. Pronouns: she, they, xe
48. Favorite TV Show: i don’t really watch shows anymore, but i like deadliest catch and batman beyond
49. Tattoos: not rn but i’d like some
50. Right or left hand: right
51. Surgery: never
52. Piercing: already answered this lmao
53. Sport: i hate participating in sports but girl’s volleyball is… interesting…
55. Vacation: my bed, some chips, a nice cold one (pepsi), and the ac on blast
56. Pair of trainers: idk my vans are pretty nice </br> MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating: i WAS eating mac n cheese
58. Drinking: pepsi
59. I’m about to: idk go on youtube??
61. Waiting for: nothing
62. Want: nothing
63. Get married: idk sounds nice
64. Career: rich af and never having to work a day in my life </br> WHICH IS BETTER?:
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs
66. Lips or eyes: lips
67. Shorter or taller: taller
68. Older or younger: older
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach
71. Sensitive or loud: loud??
72. Hook up or relationship: hookup
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: both have advantages and disadvantages! (i didn’t even bother editing this answer lmao) </br> HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: nah
75. Drank hard liquor: nope
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i didn’t "lose” them, i knew where they were, it’s just some assholes fucking broke them
77. Turned someone down: oh heeeeell yea i love doing that lmao 78. Sex in the first date: i haven’t even had proper sex tf
79. Broken someones heart: eh, maybe??
80. Had your heart broken: oh yea
81. Been arrested: no
82. Cried when someone died: yea but it was discrete, sorry but i don’t cry in front of others, ESPECIALLY not in front of family
83. Fallen for a friend: hahaha yea </br> DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: not in the slightest
85. Miracles: god i hope they’re real cuz i super need like twenty
86. Love at first sight: no
87. Santa Claus: nah
88. Kiss in the first date: why not
89. Angels: not really </br> OTHER:
90. Current best friends name: ronan, dan, tara 91. Eyecolor: brown
92. Favorite movie(s): (i accidentally erased some of that question so idk if that is what it said but oh well) idk i really like the Descendants movie and i really wanna see the second one, Uma is like my gf and idk anything about her besides she’s a badass pirate </br> TAGGED: @transmanlukeskywalker @preciousnerd @robonino-main
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Make your own Video from Photos….
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What is Art?
Open main menu Wikipedia Search EditWatch this pageRead in another language I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love is the debut studio album by American rock band My Chemical Romance, released on July 23, 2002. The album was produced by Thursday vocalist Geoff Rickly at Nada Recording Studio in New Windsor, New York.[5] I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love cover.jpg Studio album by My Chemical Romance Released July 23, 2002 Genre Post-hardcore[1][2] emo[3] punk rock[4] pop punk[3] Length 41:12 Label Eyeball Producer Geoff Rickly Alex Saavedra (tracks 3 and 8) My Chemical Romance chronology Like Phantoms, Forever (2002) I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love (2002) Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004) Singles from I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" Released: May 27, 2002 "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us" Released: December 15, 2003 "Headfirst for Halos" Released: April 5, 2004 Background and recording Edit I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love gave My Chemical Romance an underground following. However, the band did not break into the mainstream with the album; that came with their second album, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge. During the recording of I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love, lead vocalist Gerard Way had to perform vocals while having a dental abscess, making vocal work difficult for him.[6] Style and lyrical themes Edit I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love has a raw sound featuring guitar riffs, very energetic vocals and occasional screaming. Despite being sold under the post-hardcore and alternative rock genres,[7] it is considered an emo album with strong influences from punk rock, hardcore punk and heavy metal.[8][9][4][10] I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love is often regarded as a concept album. It involves two Bonnie and Clyde-esque characters who are eventually gunned down in the desert. On My Chemical Romance's next album, Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge (2004), the unnamed man supposedly then finds himself in purgatory, where he makes a deal with Satan: his hellbound lover for the souls of a thousand evil men. He is then resurrected and sent on his gruesome task.[11] Though it is generally accepted by the group's core fanbase, this has led some to attribute its supposed existence to over-analysis on the part of hardcore fans.[12] The alleged storyline is not confirmed by the band, but some evidence includes: The following album's cover, named "Demolition Lovers" (As is the final song on I Brought You My Bullets...) and its interior artwork (including the text that reads "The story of a man, a woman, and the corpses of a thousand evil men.") The lyrical themes of the final songs on both of the band's first two albums, which are "Demolition Lovers" and "I Never Told You What I Do for a Living". The lyrics of the latter include "They gave us two shots to the back of the head and we're all dead now" suggesting that the character (if it is linked to the storyline) has been killed and has failed in saving his lover from Hell. The song "It's Not a Fashion Statement, It's a Fucking Deathwish" from Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge also includes themes of a man rising from his grave, who suggests that his purpose in doing so is to commit a murder. Another theme apparent on the album is the nature of vampires, as in both the undead creatures and, metaphorically speaking, those who seek to corrupt and exploit others.[13] The song "Skylines and Turnstiles" was written shortly after the September 11 attacks and expressed feelings of sorrow and loss,[14] and "Early Sunsets over Monroeville" was inspired by the George A. Romero film Dawn of the Dead. Gerard himself describes it as "a sweet song about Dawn of the Dead", with the lyrics using references from the film. Before the September 11 attacks, Gerard was working as a comic book writer and animator. He was working on a vampire comic (which he never completed), and has also said that is the reason for the vampires in the lyrics. Release and promotion Edit Professional ratings Review scores Source Rating Allmusic 2.5/5 stars[15] Alternative Press 3.5/5 stars[3] Drowned in Sound 8/10 stars[16] IGN 7.9/10[17] Rolling Stone 3/5 stars[18] The Guardian 3/5 stars[19] Text on the disc reads, "Unauthorized duplication is a violation of applicable laws and will result in Gerard coming to your house and sucking your blood."[20] The album was re-released on vinyl on February 3, 2009, with a clear as well as white and red edition. It has sold over 300,000 copies in the USA as of February 2009, also achieving a Gold sales status certification for sales of over 100,000 copies in the UK. The 2005 and 2009 re-releases of the album contain a bonus Eyeball Records sampler CD. There are several different versions of the sampler, and each one contains different tracks. Since the closure of Eyeball Records, this album is currently out of print on every format. The album is very rare in the United States, however it returned to iTunes in on September 23, 2016; the album was also brought to Spotify and Google Play the same day. To promote the album, My Chemical Romance played in bars and clubs around New Jersey. Tour manager Brian Schechter noticed the band performing and thought the band would be perfect for opening for the band The Used. Eventually, Schechter became the manager for My Chemical Romance and I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love was noticed by Reprise Records, a major record label connected to Warner Bros. Records. Reprise Records signed My Chemical Romance in 2003.[21] Track listing Edit All tracks written by My Chemical Romance, except for "Romance". No. Title Length 1. "Romance" 1:02 2. "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us" 3:51 3. "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" 5:26 4. "Drowning Lessons" 4:23 5. "Our Lady of Sorrows" 2:05 6. "Headfirst for Halos" 3:28 7. "Skylines and Turnstiles" 3:23 8. "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" 5:04 9. "This Is the Best Day Ever" 2:13 10. "Cubicles" 3:51 11. "Demolition Lovers" 6:06 Total length: 41:12 Re-release/iTunes deluxe edition bonus videos No. Title Length 12. "Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough for the Two of Us" (video) 3:53 13. "Vampires Will Never Hurt You" (video) 5:37 Total length: 50:42 Personnel Edit My Chemical Romance Gerard Way — lead vocals Ray Toro — lead guitar, backing vocals; rhythm guitar (on tracks 3–7, 9–10) Mikey Way — bass guitar Matt Pelissier — drums, percussion Additional Musicians Frank Iero — rhythm guitar, backing vocals (tracks 2 and 8 only) Note Iero was a full-fledged member at the time, however, he joined after the other four already started recording. Production Produced by Geoff Rickly Tracks 3 and 8 Produced by Geoff Rickly and Alex Saavedra Recorded and mixed by John Naclerio 5/15/02 – 5/25/02 at Nada Studios, New Windsor, NY Mastered by Ryan Ball at Checkmate Sound & Recording, Suffern, NY Original artwork, layout, and design by Marc Debiak and Gerard Way Photos by Alex Saavedra Chart positions Edit Chart (2007) Peak position UK Albums Chart 129 Chart (2009) Peak position Japanese Albums Chart 250 Certifications Edit Region Certification Certified units/Sales United Kingdom (BPI)[22] Gold 100,000^ United States (RIAA)[23] Gold 500,000^ Release history Edit Region Date Label Format Catalogue Japan March 25, 2009 Warner CD WPCR13347 United Kingdom April 12, 2004 Eyeball, 20:20 9866233 United States July 23, 2002 Eyeball EYE20022 June 21, 2005 7200222 February 3, 2009 LP EYE20059 October 9, 2015 Reprise 550187-1 References Edit ^ "Happy Birthday, Gerard Way: Wake-Up Video". Newsroom. Retrieved April 24, 2015. ^ "An Obituary For My Chemical Romance - NME.COM". NME. Retrieved April 24, 2015. ^ a b c "My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love – Alternative Press". Alternative Press. Retrieved April 24, 2015. ^ a b Ritt, Megan (July 5, 2009). "Guilty Pleasure: My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". Consequence of Sound. ^ "Chemical reactions". Kerrang!. London: Bauer Media Group. 1425: 21. July 28, 2012. ISSN 0262-6624. ^ Garland, Emma (January 30, 2015). "Gerard Way and Geoff Rickly Reflect on the Intertwined History of My Chemical Romance and Thursday". NOISEY. ^ "My Chemical Romance: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love: Music". Amazon.com. ASIN B00006EXL5. ^ "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". IGN. 14 August 2004. Retrieved 4 April 2013. ^ "My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". Alternative Press. 23 July 2002. Retrieved 4 April 2013. ^ Loftus, Johnny. "Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge – My Chemical Romance". AllMusic. ^ Demolition Lovers song meanings (imnotokay.net) ^ Erlewine, Stephen Thomas. The Black Parade review at Allmusic ^ "Gerard Way Biography". Mcraddiction05.tripod.com. 1977-04-09. Retrieved 2012-02-23. ^ Sharpe-Young, Garry. New Wave of American Heavy Metal. Zonda Books Limited, 2005. ISBN 0-9582684-0-1. ^ Henderson, Alex. "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love – My Chemical Romance". AllMusic. ^ "Reviews – Albums – My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". Drowned in Sound. Archived from the original on 2007-07-09. Retrieved 2012-04-29. ^ Jesse Lord (2004-08-04). "I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love – Music Review at IGN". Music.ign.com. Retrieved 2012-02-23. ^ "My Chemical Romance: Album Guide". Rolling Stone. Retrieved 2012-04-29. ^ Caroline Sullivan (April 9, 2004). "Pop CD: My Chemical Romance, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love | Music | The Guardian". London: Arts.guardian.co.uk. Retrieved 2012-02-23. ^ Music with a Warning Label (amiright.com) ^ La Bella 2008, p. 23. ^ "British album certifications – My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". British Phonographic Industry. Retrieved 25 July 2012. Enter I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love in the field Keywords. Select Title in the field Search by. Select album in the field By Format. Select Gold in the field By Award. Click Search ^ "American album certifications – My Chemical Romance – I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love". Recording Industry Association of America. Retrieved 25 July 2012. If necessary, click Advanced, then click Format, then select Album, then click SEARCH My Chemical Romance interview, Life in a Bungalow, 2008-03-16 "Bullets" My Chemical Romance Film, Andy DeAngelo, 2010-06-22 Works cited La Bella, Laura (2008). My Chemical Romance. The Rosen Publishing Group. ISBN 9781404218185. External links Edit I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love at YouTube (streamed copy where licensed) Last edited 10 days ago by Kokoro20 RELATED ARTICLES Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge Studio album by American band My Chemical Romance Headfirst for Halos single Vampires Will Never Hurt You single Wikipedia Content is available under CC BY-SA 3.0 unless otherwise noted. Terms of UsePrivacyDesktop
#my chemical romance#gerard way#frank iero#mikey way#james dewees#ray toro#i brought you my bullets you brought me your love
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-THROWS MY URL AT YOU-
❚ : : — ♚ Send me any url │ Accepting!!
SCREAMS AND CATCHES IT CAUSE OMG YASSSS BLASSSSS
Do I Follow Them?: hella yea XD for about 3 days now I think? lmao I cant remember not even a week B’]
Why Did I Follow Them?: Honestly?? I got a REALLY great vibe from you. I dont even know why. I read the rules and skimmed a bit through everything else (with me I go back several times to clarify things and whatnot) but honestly, It might be the theme– or something I dont even know XD tbh I love Pokemon OCs. Honestly I love your OC and i dont even know why???? lmaoooo
Do We RolePlay?: Yes. We do, and Im actually rather excited to RP in the future as well!! Thanks for the starter I really love it. ^-^
Do I Want To Role Play With Them:I actually really do. I dont even know why, but I REALLY WANT TO. All the interactions. Bring it on. and like I legit want to RP with you and have a good interaction with our muses that I’d actually personally revive one of my other blogs or make a completely new OC to interact with you. Opps my bad. XD No but really, I love Red so much, and I can see him be kinda chill with him. XD
An AU Idea For Our Muses:Hmmm…. Bringing on the AU Ideas. Damn, I have so many, where to even begin. Hmmm… oh!! How about an element bending AU ( kinda like ATLA but lets just ignore the fact that there is one avatar and that everybody could actually train to bend all the elements if they trained well enough XD )
Anyway. so yea, Red’s particularly well versed in the elements and sub-elements (so like ice, thunder, metal, etc) You know maybe we could have it so the elements range from the many pokemon elements – with the main elements being Water, Grass, Ground, Flying/Air, and Fire. We’d probably have to exclude Fighting only because the fighting type would probably be incorporated in al the other types. ANYWAYYY back on track.Red is obviously already gonna be mastered in many of the elements– not that he has mastered them, its just that he literally is just a natural in all types (he’d probably be really good with the Ghost/Psychic elements, mainly because I have him set an aura user and he gets ‘high’ off of ghosts in his main canon lmaoooo I have to bring up those head canons for you sometime). Clearly Silas would be well in tune with fire, but he probably has a hard time dealing with elements that aren’t well for the Fire element because fire isn’t good with these specific elements (so Water, Earth, Ground, and even metal and Ice etc, you get the point yes?) maybe he also has a problem controlling the fire. IDK maybe the fire sometimes gets out of control. IDK thats really up to you.
Anyway so now that we have the idea and concept set, maybe they could interact in this AU in some sort of way. I mean in this AU, Red would have an easier time communicating with Silas. Maybe not telepathically speaking, but the idea could probably get the point across easier. Also, depending on how well the personalities of our muses, maybe they’d actually mesh well together and maybe Red could be a peer in helping Silas with his element bending problems. Maybe Red can see the potential in Silas’ ability with fire bending and actually helps him just concentrate on that specific element rather than trying to help him with the other elements – maybe even to the point where they both figure out how to use fire to defeat water and other elements fire is weak to (duh make the fire so hot that the water evaporates XD lol jk jk its probably would me more intricate than that)
A Song For Our Muses:Flaws – BastilleSince you love my Autoplay on my bloge so much B] No but really I love Bastille, Two things to describe Red: Chess and Bastille lmaoooo Ahhhh… I got a two disc edition for the album for my birthday so I just love listening to them. But yea, I think this is a great song for them. Wouldn’t you agree? ^-^
Do I Ship Our Muses?:Um… I guess kinda? then again, What muse do I not ship with Red. Whether it be something of a platonic or enemy relationship. Though I’d actually see a romantic relationship here if we actually considered it and tried it out. Problem is that I am a singleship blog (with few exceptions). I have been debating about making it dualship for the sake of others and myself, but like??? Red current status atm is this: ???wtf?am?i?doing?imnotagoodboyfriend??lol but yea, Im pretty sure his relationship with Copycat is officially ended (maybe not really even though he does really love her and Gemi and I have made their bby a thing like a year ago XD) Then there is Red and Blair. I honestly would have to see that situation. So essentially: yes I do actually ship them, but there may be a problem with ‘officiality’ and what not and also there is the fact that he’s asexual and a demiromantic. so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ lmao sorryyyyy
What I Think About The Mun:Ahh…. The mun. SCREAMS BE MY FRIENDO PLEASE THANKS. I honeslty dont know you very well atm. and seeing as I have a tendency to go silent from time to time, I wouldnt mind sharing my discord with you. I’m very active on my discord and my 2 servers I run, so if you ever swung by to talk I would love to do that. (specially in my servers cause I do you the voice channels a lot and I have a happy place to go to to keep conversations private.) anyway… HUGGLES FRIENDO TIGHTLY. You’re pretty great. Loving the IC AND OOC (via the tags lol) interactions. Stay beautiful hun.
Overall Opinion:Great Theme. Great Character. Great Mun. Great everything. Its people like you that make me feel less nervous because you bring smiles to my face. so THANK YOUU SOOO MUCH. Would follow any day in a heartbeat.^-^
Blog Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
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on the shores of determinism, the existentialist lies
fandom: death note, death note: another note
characters; beyond birthday, A (death note), roger ruvie, mello | mihael keehl (briefly mentioned)
summary: He finds it hard to ponder-why and what, in this situation, are so closely associated with one another that it’s hard to differentiate the two.
Why is life; what is life.
He doesn’t know the answer to either of them, and it’s frustrating beyond belief.
warnings: graphic descriptions, suicide, character death
notes: not going to lie, i've had this written for quite some time now but haven't had the courage to post it. this is the longest thing i've written for a one-shot, and i'm honestly kind of proud of it, considering that at one point this was just a careless project. it took a long while to edit it, and it will probably continue to go through countless more-the curse of a perfectionist. for now though i'm really happy with it!
i want to thank @apocolypticprince on tumblr for helping to beta this around november, and countless more people for helping to read through it and discuss it.
read on ao3!
i.
Time doesn’t exist.
For Beyond Birthday, time has never existed. He’s established in his mind that time is simply a construct that rules everyone else’s lives to keep people planted to this earth with a sense of reality. It’s a fact, really. Time is a theoretical formula that has allowed people to function, as though their life is an equation based on the matter of time and all that it brings. Time is a simple thing that tells a human when to sleep, when to wake, when to go to work. When to eat. When their doctor’s appointment is. When their next meeting is, or when they next have a test.
He’s never understood why he needs to obey this standard rule. There’s nothing in the universe that says he can’t stay awake during the ‘night,’ or sleep during the ‘day,’ other than the melatonin that rids his body of any energy; despite this, he continues to stay awake until he passes out into the next sunrise. He’s come to figure that humans do it just because it’s convenient, for survival. The sun that comes during the ‘day’ that warms the body and floods the planet with energy, filling the plants that he sees erupt from the ground and making them lush and healthy, depositing the oxygen filled air with its dangerous, burning rays.
Time is a simple concept that has taken over everyone’s lives. It’s a creation of man, to tell what the present is.
This, however, has always confused Beyond, for at this time, now, he is outside laying across the small bench in the courtyard, watching the younger children run around and play. He lies there soaking up the warmth, radiating from the storing heat in his black button up shirt. He should be inside taking a test, using all of his useless knowledge to better his competition, so he can, eventually, be a part of, if not greater than, the greatest detective in the world. It’s something that he wants, something that he knows he can achieve, regardless of whether he’s able to do the actual job.
He will do it. In the future, he will do it, because his confidence, hubris, is too large, too sure that he will one day be able to rise to the top; above A, above L, above all of the people who claim to be the smartest.
The future, though, doesn’t exist either. Nobody can predict what can exactly come, not even a second from this time. At any moment, Beyond could witness one of them trip and fall, and scrape his knee against one of the stone steps. Or, perhaps, he could stand whenever he pleases, and he could trip over his own feet. The future, for the most part, is unpredictable.
The future, he knows, can be altered. People’s interpretations can be altered, so they think differently in the future. Anything can be changed, as it often is, so that something won’t happen; such as him stacking pebbles against the arm of the bench. They will fall over, after placing about twelve high. They’re leaning towards him, so he starts to shift the mass of the rocks away from him, so that, when they do fall, as planned, they will fall onto the ground.
And sure enough, with the small plop of stone against stone, the pile topples over and onto the solid dirt ground, bouncing carelessly by the weight of gravity.
Beyond sighs and looks over to one of the doors. The future annoys him. The future makes this feeling of dread, a feeling of unknowingness ring through his body. Time constitutes when things will happen. Time is only real because people made it to be.
So why is it, then, when he looks above the heads of his peers, those numbers can be calculated to a specific date-a specific time of the year?
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know and he can only assume that this…this oddity is another form of time. That this math he’s able to do mentally, to calculate what he knows can only be death, is in its own, unique form that can be translated less elegantly into human time. The time scares him. The dates make him pity the children who have smaller numbers.
He sees A beginning to approach the door that leads out into the courtyard where Beyond is. He looks thoroughly disgruntled, and almost mad, but at this point in time it’s almost normal for him to always look like that. With his mousy brown hair, and piercing aqua-colored eyes, and that stupid grey sweater he wears all the time. His books tucked neatly under his armpit, and his eye bags prominent against his pale skin.
Typical.
“B, where the hell were you?” A shouts.
B shrugs. “Where does it look like?”
A rolls his eyes. “You know you missed your test. You’re going to fail.”
“No I’m not,” Beyond replies. “I rescheduled it.”
Do you really think I would let myself fail?
“We were supposed to take it at the same time, you know.” A grumbles.
“And?”
A sighs. “Nothing. I just figured you would want to.”
“I was only taking a break.” Why would you figure that?
“Taking a break during a test time isn’t really, well...the time to. They’re trying to prepare us.”
“It’s not guaranteed, though.” B sits up from his lounging position. “It wouldn’t matter if you were A, you could still place below me. They’re just supplying us knowledge that only might be useful. You know that, right?”
A is quiet for a few moments, taking in Beyond’s words.
“I’m not even sure this is something to strive for anymore.” A mutters. His eyes have found something new to focus on.
With all this heavy priming and training and stress, it’s hard to believe that they’ll ever get there. There isn’t a need for some of this curriculum. The job shouldn’t have to name them as backups. B imagines this is what A thinks.
“It’s not like we have a choice.”
A nods in agreement. “I just…hate waiting.”
“So do I.” It’s not just you.
“It’s been years, you know?”
“It’s not entirely useless.”
“I don’t know about that.” There’s a pause. “I can barely keep up with homework, and we’re expected to handle ten times the amount we already have. I don’t think I can do it-”
“Shut up.” B’s voice grows a little louder, “If L didn’t think you-we-were capable, we wouldn’t be the only two for the position. We’re the most intelligent ones here, A, don’t you dare say that you aren’t good.”
A lets out an exasperated noise. “Easy for you to say that. You don’t have to work for your grades.”
There’s a slow tension starting to build between them. B doesn’t bother to say anything to that. He’s learned that it’s better to just leave A alone when he’s on one of these rants. It’s one of those days, B has decided.
He figures they shouldn’t have “those days.”
“You’re stressed.” B says.
“You think?”
I know. “Let it be.”
“How can you say that?” A looks quite bewildered.
“Worrying about the matter won’t change L’s mind any sooner. And you being stressed isn’t helping anyone.” He says, mostly in reference to himself. “Only time will tell, I guess.”
Only time will tell.
A picks at the skin of his lip. “I guess.”
“Do you need a break?”
He nods. B pats the empty seat next to him, and A sits on the bench, looking down at the remainders of the pebble tower.
But time doesn’t exist.
ii.
Beyond has always been confused by religion.
Religion has always played an important role in humanity. It was originally used to explain what could not be explained. It was used to give humanity hope, especially in where they would go after death.
But this world has science now. Beyond can see how a body decomposes into nothing but bone, and knows how saprophytic organisms break down every little organic material until the body is nothing. He knows that this body was once a human, but is no longer living. The body cannot thrive. There is no visible spirit, Ka, soul, or whatever else you want to call it that can be seen.
Of course, he can see death. He can see when it will happen, predetermined, passing the laws of time not existing. He can see a person’s time-when the body will finally fall to the ground, becoming nothing but dead organic waste.
He just doesn’t know what happens after a person dies, and it’s something that has always plagued his mind. Is there a god? Is there a Heaven or a Hell?
Is there even an afterlife at all?
He supposes that the reason humans cling to useless beliefs is to comfort themselves. He thinks others may find it unsettling, the way a human can just disappear, because even though a person may live on by a legacy, or a name, there is nothing left for them to accomplish. Eventually even that’ll fade away. He guesses it must be hard to realize that, or people straight out deny it. Then again, who is he to judge the little blonde boy that grasps at his rosary like a stuffed animal when even he doesn’t know what’s after this.
There is an existing force that controls humans. He’s quite sure of it. He knows that the universe, the Earth, and all its systems are balanced based off an equilibrium, between the physical status of existing and an unseen force that somehow manages to control. It controls how people do things, how people see things, and judges whether a person should die, if a person is bad or good, or, simply, when.
When will this couple get pregnant? When will the child start to grow up and mature? When will new data be discovered? When will death occur?
Another unpredictable thing, and not one that B has figured out. Natural selection is, well, natural. It happens every day, at unknown times, and it seems that humanity has increased the chances of killing off their own species by accidents and a conscience and dangerous machinery and feelings. None of this is natural. Humanity created these things to adapt, to evolve, so B doesn’t quite know if he should classify these happenings as natural selection.
But he supposes that they must be natural if he knows that that’s when a person dies. Natural selection isn’t just the random taking of a life-rather, a predetermined state of choosing to keep the population in check. Who the person was means nothing. Whether they die by machine or by illness is all the works of where and when.
The scene unfolds in his head as his eyes scan across the paper. A person-a woman-goes to work late that day. She reaches for her coffee as she is driving. It spills. In a quick effort to look for napkins, she takes her eyes off the road, starts going across an intersection without looking and oh, here comes a tractor trailer, well it looks like two people are dead because of this now and many more witnesses to the tragedy.
The universe is a mysterious thing. Because something made that woman look away from the road for just a few seconds. Hell, she didn’t even have to pick up the coffee. The accident, the gruesome accident that B is reading about in the newspaper could have so easily been avoided if the she had just paid a little bit more attention. Hadn’t looked away. B sees things like this in the news all the time. Robbers break in to houses and become murderers, an accident happens and the person whose fault it wasn’t becomes the blame, because they survived. But why does it have to be these specific people? B hates thinking of these things like fate, and destiny, because really, what good comes out of dying at the hands of another?
Nonetheless, the only word he can think of to describe these situations is fate. These people are fated to die. B has seen the numbers change before, drastically even, but the ones he usually sees stay there for a long, long time, set out to die at a particular moment. And in this moment that he’s reading about, it just happened to be these two people. The universe was apparently fed up. Decided it was time for her to go. Decided it was time to look down, speed across, ignore the honking horn and red light, decided that it was also time for the truck driver to go in that split moment of time.
He wonders if that’s just how the universe works.
And he wonders this as he looks up from his reading, across the table at A, who is studying with such fervor that it almost seems unnatural. He wonders what makes him look up from the paper at this moment, what makes him lean over to grab the steaming hot cup of coffee, what makes him take the loudest sip possible just to annoy the fuck out of A.
Well, whatever made him do it worked, as A looks up, looking exhausted and vexed as to just why he had to do that. B smirks. A rolls his eyes.
“I’m trying to take notes, you know.” A’s voice is hoarse from the lack of talking.
B folds the paper mechanically. “Sorry.”
They both know B isn’t sorry.
A shifts so he’s sitting up straight in his chair. The light coming from overhead hits his face at just the appropriate angle, the one where B can see every little facet that contributes to his weariness. He can see the glazed over eyes, the slight twitch of his upper lip, the bags, ever so visible, practically black at this point. The poor boy looks so tired, and for a moment B actually does feel sorry for interrupting him.
It doesn’t last long.
“You should probably go to sleep.” B suggests.
A glances away from him. “I’m fine.”
“You’re going to die from sleep deprivation.”
(He can’t tell if he’s joking or if it’s a genuine prediction.)
“You’re going to die of a caffeine overdose.” Is A’s reply.
Touché.
There’s a silence between them. B takes it to look at the numbers, which are the same as ever, and A looks sad for a minute. Well, he looks an assortment of emotions-sad, stressed, tired, angry, but content at a second’s thought.
“Seriously, you should go to bed. It’s not healthy.”
A laughs. “Since when have we ever had time for our own health? And since when do you care?”
“Since…right now.” He decides.
“Yeah. Okay. It’s nearly ten at night and you’re drinking a cup of coffee.”
Which is a fair point.
“What’re you studying anyway?” B asks. He reaches for his cup again, ignoring A’s last remark.
“Nihilism.”
That’s not what they’re studying in class. “Why?”
A rubs at his eyes. “I don’t really know. Personal interest?”
B shrugs. “Heavy material for so late.”
“I guess.” He runs a hand through his hair, which looks as though it hasn’t been washed in a few days. “I’m really tired.”
“I said go to bed. I mean if you have no real work to do now then might as well rest.”
A nods and starts to collect his belongings. He closes the book he was reading and a very worn notebook, gathering his pens and stuffing it all into a distressed looking book bag. He finally yawns as he stands up, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “Are you coming?”
“Eventually. I was going to finish this. Need the extra kick.”
A shrugs in response. “See you later then,” and he begins walking towards the doorway, hesitating at the frame for a split second before walking out and around to the staircase.
iii.
It’s almost appropriate for Beyond to contemplate the meaning of life after his discussion with A.
The idea of nihilism-particularly existential nihilism-has always intrigued him. It doesn’t strike him as negative, and he isn’t offended by it like everyone else. To everyone else, life means something. It’s simply hard for him to believe that humans are needed on this planet when all they’ve done is interrupted the environment and on a universal level, they are nothing compared to the complex function of expansion. Humanity has grown far and wide within the Earth, developing things that only actually exist based on their understandings, but it does nothing for the universe. In the largest perspective possible, humans are nothing.
Which backs up the cynical point that really, his life isn’t worth anything. It’s not worth money or science or, hell, it wouldn’t really make a difference to the universe whether or not he was dead. He can accomplish all he wants, and while it makes a difference to this world, to people and their emotions, it wouldn’t make a difference to the vastness of the nullity he and everyone else lives in.
Humans are the only species known to have the ability to imagine; only humans are able to think of things that aren’t really there. It’s how, as a species, they’ve been able to evolve, how they’ve been able to come up with science and technology and math, even, numbers and languages and time. Languages are just noises that signify meaning, technology seemingly random variations of numbers that mean something to another man-made machine, science being used as a mean to explain the previously unexplained.
And that’s the thing, isn’t it-everything has to have a meaning or an explanation, and everything is why.
So, why is it that he is alive? Why has nature created him, his body, his mind that spins like wheels in his head? The little boy that always looks scared out of his wits would tell him that it’s because of God, and he’s set him out on a path to get to an achievement, and the world will eventually need him, which B thinks is a load of bullshit. He’s one person. He has the power to make an impact on humans, and he knows that he can do it, but what does it mean? What does it mean to the universe?
Nothing, absolutely nothing in the long run. It doesn’t mean anything to him, and he doesn’t get why it would mean anything to anyone else; so why is it that he is alive, when he can easily choose not to go forth with actions of any kind?
He’s back to square one.
If he can’t know why, there’s always room for what, which he finds to be just as complicated of a matter.
He finds it hard to ponder-why and what, in this situation, are so closely associated with one another that it’s hard to differentiate the two.
Why is life; what is life.
He doesn’t know the answer to either of them, and it’s frustrating beyond belief.
If life is meaningless, then it means that everything people have constructed-society, conspiracies, government, morals-is also meaningless, and B finds some of it true.
There’s no need for set standards when it comes to people, and conspiracies go with the fact that only humans can imagine. Government? He can understand the need. Otherwise there would be a lot of strain between individuals. Morals? Without them, there would be utter chaos. Morals are important, he’s always known that. But some part of him, like a whisper, wants him to think that humans only find things to do to fill the gap of nothingness of life, living by these just to occupy themselves. Another, almost sickening part tugs at him in the back of his mind, if life is meaningless, and everything humans have created is nothing, then morals are just artificial standards to keep everything from going to shit.
He can’t bring himself, no-he doesn’t want to bring himself to think about that, because it justifies murder and crime and everything he’s being trained against. It means that the killing of a person is neither right nor wrong, when clearly it is wrong, but if humans are nothing to the universe and death to the universe is meaningless and one person dying is meaningless then it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s right or wrong, it’s just in between, it doesn’t mean anything-
“Are you okay?”
B looks around the room for the source of the voice. It’s A. He’s sitting on his bed with Macbeth split open, the spine standing up to hold his place, the same worn notebook next to it.
“Yeah. I’m fine,” B says. He’s sitting on his own bed with his own copy of the play laid out in front of him. He is nearly finished with the book, perhaps five pages left. He doesn’t know the significance of reading it. He assumes it’s only an example to analyze the complexities of people, but at this point, this is child’s play, and this work is simple; a pleasurable read at best.
“You’ve been staring out your window for ten minutes.” A states, and looks out his own window. It’s raining. B isn’t surprised.
“I’m just thinking.”
“About?” He wants elaboration. B folds the corner of the page.
“Macbeth.”
“Just Macbeth,” A says, in a slow and unbelieving tone.
“Well,” B takes a moment, leaning against the wall, “Macbeth’s character, actually.” A convincing lie. “Antagonist or protagonist?”
“Antihero.”
“Clarification?”
A smirks. Game on. “Macbeth is very ambitious, enough so that he brings it to the point of murder to reach his goals. He can’t live in comfort knowing that he’s killed people to reach his goal and is psychologically unprepared to deal with it. But he never quite sees it to kill himself like all of Shakespeare’s other villains-rather, when it comes full circle, he pulls out this bravado in front of the English soldiers when beforehand he was an absolute mess. By the end, it was a game-he was fighting and winning in the beginning, dying like a self-proclaimed martyr in the end.”
B nods, “And by antihero…”
“He is the protagonist that does questionable, no-morally wrong doings.” A finishes.
“But after he realizes he’s wrong, he thinks it’s pointless.”
A looks slightly confused. “What do you mean?”
“Shakespeare displays the perfect view of a nihilist through Macbeth at that point-‘ Out, out, brief candle! / Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player / That struts and frets his hour upon the stage / And then is heard no more; it is a tale / Told by an idiot, of sound and fury, / Signifying nothing.’ First we consider he’s in the middle of a soliloquy about his absolute disgust for his life and for what he’s done. Second, these lines demonstrate the current view of his life, that it is meaningless, or rather, that the existence of such life doesn’t quite mean anything.”
“Why would Shakespeare include that if Macbeth was so determined take the throne?” A inquires.
“Think about it,” B says, “Self-doubt. Awareness. Tempted so easily, ready to do anything for his aspirations. It’s supposed to symbolize how this inner turmoil he’s been suffering through the entire play has brought him to his knees, and that murder wasn’t ever the answer. Had he not tried, though, and a warrior could never inherit the position of being a king. At that point it was a lose-lose situation, and no matter what he wouldn’t make it. Being so ambitious, and aware of himself, he saw his fault, and began to speculate the meaning of his actions.”
“It’s possible that Shakespeare was implying these views, but I think only a true nihilist could read into such a passage like that. Taken out of context it can be read-”
“-Just the same as within context of the soliloquy.” B cuts him off. A’s mouth is left ajar for a moment, but he quickly closes it and jots a few notes down in the notebook beside him, as if to end the conversation; a look of defeat washes over his once amused attributes.
I win.
iv.
B has always known that death is inevitable.
It’s natural. It’s normal. It happens everywhere, every day, and not just to living organisms. It happens to the stars above in planetary nebulas and supernovas, it happens to the comets that burn up in the atmosphere of the Earth, it happens to a pen when the ink runs out, finally drained from its chamber and rendered useless to anyone unless the cartridge is replaced.
A’s dead body is of no use to anyone. Perhaps, when decomposition is allowed, bacteria and fungus and insects will absolutely feast on it. If it were ditched in the wild, then it may have been used as a food source for animals, and still disturbingly enough as an item of unspeakable things. But aside from those rare and extreme cases, the human body is nothing, and it cannot be replaced. The physical form will eventually start to swell, the stopped blood will pool in the position the limbs are left in, and the warmth once produced by homeostasis will make the skin cold and tight as rigor mortis takes over. It will begin to rot from the inside out, just as anything else does, as it was meant to do. Again, it was inevitable for this to happen, and he doesn’t understand the emotions that come along with mourning.
The human body, at a funeral, holds a lot of emotional and personal value. People cry at the sight of it, for it, because once that body was thriving with life, because of how that brain developed a personality, because that brain is now unable to go on. Cell production has stopped in every which way, there are no more thoughts, and all B can think of is nothingness that can be seen by the blind eyes of the dead; a vacuum, perhaps, is what he can imagine takes the space of the once active brain.
So if life doesn’t mean anything-if a person is of no value-and this was meant to happen, then why does B feel so crushed? So upset and sad and angry?
A is gone. A has experienced death, taking his own life with his own hands. B found him hanging from the ceiling, his face deep blue from asphyxiation, swaying slightly from the breeze coming in through the unlatched windows. B didn’t know what to do-whether to scream or cry or whether to take him down, to check if he were truly dead or still slowly suffocating. He didn’t need to check, he could see that the numbers over A’s head were gone, and so was his name, vanished, and B had never seen the aftermath of a death; he knew that A was dead-
And he felt numb. Numb because he knew that eventually A would be dead. Numb because he felt as though the world was lying to him; numb because the day before A was a mess, and he wasn’t eating, hadn’t been eating, he’d started crying halfway through their physics lesson after lunch and B had to comfort him-and it was then that he finally got to see A up close, and he was skinnier and gaunt and absolutely exhausted to the point where he was falling behind, he couldn’t focus on the lessons, and B had thought something was wrong and there was absolutely nothing to prevent this from happening, nothing that he could do. It happened as too much of a shock. A’s numbers hadn’t changed. Not in the slightest, he was supposed to live so long, so, so long, and he doesn’t understand why he wasn’t able to see the change in this supernatural way. Shouldn’t they have told him the truth? Shouldn’t they have said when he was supposed to die properly?
And there’s that tricky word again, fate; A wasn’t fated to die this way. Is that it?
B had slammed the door shut because God forbid anyone see him like that. God forbid anyone see A hanging by his neck from the ceiling, and he ran, ran down the hallway and nearly fell down the stairs and the other kids were staring at him because why, why was B running like that, why did B look so scared, Roger was going to yell at him, but he skidded to a halt in Roger’s office and slammed that door shut too-
“A is dead.”
Roger raised an eyebrow at him, almost alarmed. “Excuse me?”
B had taken a shuddered breath there, and there was a tightness and burning in his chest as he croaked, “A is dead,” those dreaded words; a lump in his throat he hadn’t known was there started to make its way up his throat, and his face was suddenly wet, he was crouching on the ground while notes of anguish left his mouth and he didn’t know why he was crying or why he’s crying now or why Roger had to place those awkward arms around him in an attempt to comfort him.
The funeral has just finished. The priest has wrapped up his funeral rites. It didn’t matter if A was religious or not-it was done. Students are leaving the cemetery grounds, crying, or leaving decently saddened, and it’s only B left standing at the top of the hill. He doesn’t know why he’s still standing at the coffin, which is closed and glossy and black and wet with raindrops. Maybe they’re tears, he doesn’t quite know. He can’t think at this point. Everything has been a blur the past few days, and he is numb and sad and everything hurts.
It’s hard.
This is the most human B has ever felt, and it betrays the fact that this doesn’t mean anything, it shouldn’t mean anything. A’s death means nothing to the universe, and A is gone at his own influence, and who knows where A is now, if he’s in an afterlife of any sort of it he’s simply gone; and yet, A’s death means something to Beyond. He doesn’t want to believe that he had to die, he doesn’t want to think of A going to a heaven or a hell or anywhere in between. He is angry at A, for thinking the way he did, but it makes him feel selfish for putting the blame on A, because it wasn’t him that drove him to the point of ending it all.
He’s weeping openly, god he’s so weak, he shouldn’t be like this right now. He wants to kick at the ground and scream like a child. He’s grieving. And he doesn’t understand why, but he thinks A deserved just a little more time, he wishes L would’ve chosen, he wishes so many things at this moment-that this didn’t mean anything and that he wasn’t feeling because it just hurts like hell. Because A was his friend, and A cannot be so easily replaced as an ink cartridge in a pen can. Because A’s mind was not useless and had so much more to accomplish.
B thinks that maybe the universe isn’t meant to be understood.
v.
Beyond wonders, as he sits on the curb by a mostly empty gas station smoking a cigarette, just who he’s become in the past few months.
Things have changed. A lot of things have changed. For one, he’s in Los Angeles, hot and smoggy, as opposed to the wet and cold of Winchester, England. Two, he’s gone from completely comfortable furnishings to sleeping under an itchy blanket in a rundown motel. He’s worn the same pair of jeans nearly every day since he got here, and he hasn’t bothered to wash any of his clothes. Not that it matters to him. He can’t find the time to care about anything anymore.
He had tried really hard to be okay. He had tried really hard to adjust to the absence of A’s presence, but it wasn’t working. His bedroom felt too empty and spacious, the house itself was quieter, he didn’t realize just how much the simple state of his being meant comfort to him. It didn’t matter that for once people felt sorry for him-he didn’t want the pity from the little boy that always played on his Gameboy. Pity was and is something he would rather not receive, because it shouldn’t matter that they feel sorry. It shouldn’t matter that now he gets the attention, and what really made him go over was now he had L’s attention, even for the slightest of moments; the moment he had L’s attention, the moment he said I’m sorry over a fucking computer, B was done, because all A had wanted was attention from this guy, this fucking coward who couldn’t even see them in person-
B takes a deep breath on his cigarette, inhaling as much of the smoke as possible. It caresses his lungs and tickles his airway, the taste of nicotine settling on his tongue.
He doesn’t care about A anymore. He’s dead, and that’s that. He can’t bring him back, and there’s no point in wallowing in sadness and grief when there’s absolutely nothing he can do. And it’s a little strange, when he puts it into the perspective of the cars passing by him, and the occasional person walking down the road, that all their lives remain unchanged by the death of A. At the end of the day, A’s death means absolutely nothing.
A new emotion has recently arisen within him. Anger. It manifests in ways that he has a hard time keeping control of, like flipping the small table in the motel room and tearing up the skin on the back of his hands and smoking until there’s not a single cigarette left in the box. It’s stupid of him to do things like these because it doesn’t make him feel better afterwards. It makes him feel even worse. And he wonders just when he let these useless emotions take so much control over him, more specifically, why he’s so agitated all the time. Anger is one of the five stages of grief, maybe that’s the reason for it (he thinks for a split second), but he’s no longer grieving. He’s no longer mourning. So if it isn’t A, then it must be L, and that’s the spot, his grip on the stick of tobacco tightens, his teeth grit against each other…
Beyond thinks he’s an absolute asshole. Beyond thinks now that it wasn’t A that caused A’s death, but L, and he hopes the bastard feels awful about it. He wants L to feel like it was him that killed him, physically killed him, because that’s exactly what he did. A couldn’t handle the pressure, couldn’t handle the work that was given to him, he couldn’t handle even thinking of the future position. The position of L, if he were to die. They were just replacements. They shouldn’t have been fucking replacements. What if L had died, and A had taken the position? What if A had died? They would’ve just expected B to step in then, to replace A, but he can’t be replaced, not so easily. A had more emotions. A wasn’t a robot. A understood. L couldn’t be bothered to understand.
God, he’s back to that again. Emotions, he thinks, are going to kill him. He takes another drag from his cigarette.
L doesn’t have anyone to take his place now. It’s quite bemusing, since he knows that L will probably try again to find the closest ones to his own mind. It’s a stupid concept.
It’s all Beyond had to live for.
It isn’t fair. If life was supposed to be so grand, then why did it just give him that? L wouldn’t have died before thirty, at least, he doesn’t think so. It would only leave Beyond to wait and wait and wait for his time to come, but more likely A would be chosen before him out of slight favoritism. And wouldn’t that be boring, just waiting around? So fuck it, he left Wammy’s after a few months of trying to cope, after a few months of more waiting and even a few more after his eighteenth birthday and even a year after that on the streets just waiting for something to happen, He spent over a year waiting and waiting and now, he thinks, fuck it. If life is meant for him to do something, then he’s going to do something that people will remember for a long time.
If he can’t have an impact on the universe, he can at least impact humanity. Besides, it doesn’t mean anything anyway. He can still be as good as L, as smart as L, on his own. He’s thought of getting a job, but that’s too dull. He doesn’t want to sit day after day doing work that isn’t up to par with his own intelligence. If it doesn’t mean anything, and he’s supposed to do something, he’ll try and break L in the only way he can think of.
Beyond never thought he’d end up here. Sitting on the street, his cigarette nearly out, thinking about murder. Murder, of all things, and not in the way he used to think of it before. He used to sit and contemplate and solve cases, but now he’s sitting and contemplating and creating cases. Cases that L wouldn’t be able to solve. Crimes are wrong, they’re supposed to be wrong, but they aren’t right either, it wouldn’t matter if a few people died for the sake of something to do. If that’s what life is supposed to be for him, then he might as well fulfill it.
“Disculpe?”
A voice. A stranger. Beyond looks up from the stub of his cigarette to see an older man talking to him, nervous looking.
“Qué deseas?” His tone is cold. He has no reason to be nice to the man.
“Uh, yo necescito ir a…” He stops. Obviously Spanish isn’t his first language. Beyond feels slightly offended.
“I speak perfectly good English.” Beyond’s voice is cold, and his English-like accent seems to confuse the older man. He reads his name, Believe Bridesmaid-how peculiar that they share the same initials. He’s going to die soon, he calculates. Isn’t that a shame.
“Oh! I’m sorry. I just-”
“Need directions?” He attempts to take a final breath off the stub, but there’s practically nothing of it. He rubs what’s left of it on the cooling pavement and reaches into his pocket to find the pack.
The man, Believe, starts to fiddle with the rings on his hands a bit. He’s trying to act smooth, but the actions and stumbling speech is taking that effect away. “Yes. I’m not familiar with this district, could you tell me how to…?”
“I’m not from around here. Sorry.” Beyond lights the fresh cigarette. It’s sort of a lie, mostly so, but he wouldn’t be able to remember where the house he grew up in is from where he’s sitting. He wouldn’t even be able to remember the area. All he knows now is he’s in west L.A., by some shitty stores and not so good neighborhoods.
“Figured by your accent. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
He starts to walk away. Beyond doesn’t feel bad. Not a bit.
vi.
The skill of deceiving is one he’s picked up in a most artful way.
He starts by observing the people around him. He watches them with a careful eye, picking apart every little attribute, the motions that evince their feelings, what may be considered unnatural in what he’s seen. It’s easy to watch, especially in a little but cramped café. People are walking in and out with somewhere to go, coming here for a brief stop in their journey. For others, this is where the trip took them, thus their sitting down and leisurely enjoying their time here.
Beyond watches in a state of openness, his body displays a façade of casualty. It’s different from the persona he’s been in for a few days now. On the opposite side of where he’s staying, he sits in the café, sure that Naomi Misora won’t walk in to see someone resembling Rue Ryuzaki drinking coffee in the corner. Eccentricities are what he’s looking for. Rue Ryuzaki is a very strange man, and Beyond needs to crank up the notch on him a little bit. Misora seems weirded out by him already, boy does his back hurt from laying under that bed for four hours, but Rue Ryuzaki needs more improvement. So here he is, a killer in perfectly plain sight, watching movements of people to get a sense on what he can add to Ryuzaki’s character.
It’s strange that if he’s caught (which he absolutely won’t, he’s sure about it), he’ll be called a killer. A serial killer, to be more specific. According to human standards, he is a killer, taking the lives of those who weren’t ready to die. They had so much more to live for, their families would say, the public thinks, but they don’t understand. When Beyond approached those people, searched them, stared at their faces and read their names, he knew, in some nauseating way, that there was no getting around this. These people were going to die on the dates that he had planned on committing his crimes.
The crimes themselves require an immense amount of involvement, as crimes do. He’s only ever worked on the opposite side, figuring out the puzzle rather than creating it. Sending the criminal away rather than becoming the criminal. This side is nearly as interesting as the one he’s worked with before, but he’s not quite sure he was cut out or destined by any means for this side. He’s doing a good job-at least, the police department doesn’t have a single suspect, or any sufficient evidence, but he doesn’t…enjoy these crimes. They don’t fulfill any needs or desires he has, only sate his curiosity with anatomy and experimentation; excuses as to not be bored. The classes back at Wammy’s classified many serial killers as sociopathic, narcissistic, and he knows for damn sure he’s not narcissistic. He’s surprised he hasn’t killed himself.
Does that mean he falls under the class of a sociopath? Maybe he has some tendencies. Then again, he has almost the same brain as L, so does that mean L thinks in the same way? Could L himself be a sociopath? L could become a criminal if he wanted to, just as B could become L if he wanted to. But B isn’t equal to L. He’s nearly there, and nearly greater than L.
Was he meant to kill them?
It’s a question left for him to ponder on. Had he not planned on doing these murders, would these people still have died? Did his arrival to Los Angeles influence the date to change, or did he simply decide to take advantage of the dates and coincidental names? His thoughts, his actions, did they influence the universe? Or did the universe influence him to do this, destined him to think like this all along?
He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. God, does it frustrate him too, because he’s spent too much time questioning the damn universe and just wanting to know reasons. The least the universe could do is give him a simple hint, because that force he’s wondered about for years seems to be controlling him just as it did all that time ago, just in a more brutal fashion. He’s learned to stay so open-minded ever since the unexpected death of A, and he can’t trust what he sees anymore. He can’t trust what he used to know.
God, he doesn’t know.
A woman in the corner is on the phone laughing. She’s very free with her movements, and despite there not being anyone in front of her, she talks with gestures and hands. He can hear her struggle to find words for things she’s describing with her hands. This trait is too common. His eyes flick to the man sitting behind her, who is quite old-his skin is wrinkled and his eyes appear kind and wise, and he looks out the window drinking a cup of tea. It seems he is also observing. He bounces his leg up and down-perhaps he’s meeting someone, or trying to keep himself attentive, for he’s awfully calm in his nature. Beyond takes a sip of his coffee and shifts his head to look on the opposite side.
A killer in plain sight.
How strange that is. He’s spent his time doing things he shouldn’t have, per what morals state. He did it on his own accord, to one-up L, and he’s doing a damn good job of it. So he thinks, anyway. His evidence is purposeful. His signature; there isn’t any. He smiles at it, because he knows L is working on the case, he knows Naomi Misora is working for him, and he knows that L knows B is the one doing it. He just doesn’t have anything to prove it with.
And he won’t have anything to prove it with.
He’s already decided that. He’s also decided that he’s going to die in a few days. How odd to it is to think of it so casually-he’s going to die, going to be gone in a blaze of heat and energy. Fire will be painful, very painful, but it’s the only way to upkeep what he’s going for. He doesn’t want L to be right. He doesn’t want L to see any part remaining of him. If that were the case, he could easily slice open his veins, or force sleeping pills down his throat, but he doesn’t want to be seen. He doesn’t want to be suspected with a face, and the media can’t do that if he doesn’t have a face. Fire will suffice for the chore at hand.
Will it be time?
What if I fail?
He doesn’t have time to think about that. Beyond takes another swig of whatever is left in the cup, grounds swirling in a bitter black mass at the bottom. Focus, he chides himself, you aren’t here for downtime. His eyes start to scan the room again-a father and two children sit at a table close to the counter. The father is too fixated on keeping the younger one sitting down that he doesn’t notice the older one, dropping cubes of sugar into his tea like there’s no tomorrow. The child must love sweets, and B thinks he’s intelligent to take advantage of the situation. He looks so focused on putting as many as he possibly can in there-Beyond has counted seven, eight, nine, ten from the time he started watching, and for a moment their eyes lock; a brief exchange, don’t tell my dad, a nod in reply, the child smiles and goes back to his sly shenanigans. The naivety of the child is all too enticing, so human, and he knows that the child will get in trouble for putting that amount of sugar in his tea.
Rue Ryuzaki can act just as naïve. He’s practically a child anyway, and this mannerism is something he can hone in on in the next two days. It doesn’t require that much skill-perhaps masking the overwhelming sweetness of the drink so it doesn’t show through his body language, but that’s about it.
The bell to the front door rings, and two cops walk into the café. Their presence simply won’t do, and abandoning the cup atop a pile of magazines, he slides out of the closing door.
vii.
Beyond Birthday is scared.
This is one of the only times he’s felt like this before. His gloved hands shake just the slightest, his pulse pounding against the skin of his neck. He’s been waiting all too patiently, taking in the air around him, knowing it’ll be gone soon. The time on the stove-the time that doesn’t exist-ticks away as slow as it possibly can. It’s been hours since he arrived in the apartment, and hours that he’s had this planned.
It isn’t that he’s scared of death. He’s scared of dying.
Death is inevitable. He accepted this long ago. He knows that eventually he, too, will rot into nothing but frail bone, and other organisms will take the place of his body. If he were to die naturally, that is. By the time he’s finished, there won’t be any bone left of him-not a single hair, not a piece of flesh, not even the beating muscle of his heart. He will vanish into the nothingness that may exist, perhaps scarring the mind and nose of Misora, or Bluesharp Babysplit, maybe even the cops. Whoever walks into this room first will find his smoldering body and smell the disgusting fumes of his burning insides.
But he’s scared of dying. He hates to admit it. He hates how he can accept such a normal thing, but not for himself. He wants to die, he wants to die, he wants to win whatever game this is between him and L and he can only achieve that if he dies. The pain will be enough to knock him out within the first five minutes, hopefully, and then he can just lie there, unconscious, and wait until that stupid light or dark or whatever it is finally takes him, but god, what’s after? It will have been worth his death, otherwise he wouldn’t be in this position, and he’ll be so satisfied; he’s afraid.
Afraid because he doesn’t know if there’s a heaven or a hell. He knows for damn sure if there is a heaven, he isn’t going there. He’ll continue to burn in the fiery pits of hell, or maybe he’ll be sent to purgatory, or maybe he will simply cease to exist. Will he see God? Any god? Does he even have a soul worthy enough to be judged? Then again, who is God to judge man for his crimes? That’s what laws are for; he’s broken so many since he arrived in L.A., his entire existence is a broken law.
Beyond Birthday is scared.
What if he can’t do it?
No, he will do it. He can do it; he must do it. He’s already dismantled the fire alarms and smoke detectors in the room. He’s already replaced the lock on the bedroom door, ready to be turned, and he has the canister of gasoline and a box of matches hidden in the back of the closet in a box under some blankets. He has the power to do it. He has the power to end his life, or try to, because at this point he doesn’t know how lifespans work anymore and everything is such a mess-
Breathe.
The shaking of his hand has intensified. He takes a seat on the couch, wary of any fibers potentially getting caught in the woven fabric of the cushions. The makeup he’s wearing is starting to make his skin itch.
What if he doesn’t die?
He can’t see his own lifespan, so he doesn’t know when he’s supposed to die. He assumes it’s just how the eyes work, but it’s shitty now, because he just has to know. He should know if this is his time. Thinking about it is probably making it not so. It’s one of the only things, aside from the universe and religion and time that is confusing him into a point that he just needs to fucking do it to find out, but this anxiety that’s speeding through the roads of his veins and roaring up into his brain that’s stopping him from doing it.
A died. A died long before he was meant to. His lifespan didn’t change. Would his? Would he be able to die with the same causes as A? He’s had this set in his head for months. For months, he’s thought of wanting to die. Is that long enough of an influence? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know, he doesn’t know and he won’t know until he just does it, and he starts to stand up from the couch and stalks into the bedroom, knowing that he has no choice at this point. He’s come too far to let it all go to waste. He’s going to die and he will succeed and the universe with all its control and fate is leading him to this, but it could also lead to a devastating end; not the one where he dies, the one where is isn’t done dying, and he’ll be put out and dragged to a hospital and maybe thrown into prison for arson because he’s left no evidence for the murders, he’d be fine with just that-L still won’t be able to prove a fucking thing.
He smiles at that.
Beyond Birthday twists the doorknob. Waiting isn’t an option anymore. Waiting had become procrastination. He’s going to do it now, face whatever comes next, because it doesn’t matter. He’s won. He’s won the game, and he’s going to go out knowing this, and L will know it too. L will know it was him that was working with Misora. L will know he lit himself on fire, shrunk into the flames, and he won’t be able to do anything. And if a bone is left behind? It’s not like it can be used for anything. He can’t be arrested if he’s dead.
Beyond steps inside the room and shuts the door behind him, locking the thumb twist lock. The Wara Ningyo hangs on the opposite wall as he enters, and he walks to the closet. His frame continues to shake with anxiety and excitement- he’s about to win. He digs into the tote with the blankets, finding the red barrel of fuel, finding the box of matches, he’s so ridiculously close to finally being gone it’s almost relieving.
A voice in the back of his head continues to question him. What will happen if he does fail?
He can’t do anything then. He shakes his head. Closes the closet door and listens to the sounds of the ticking clock on the wall, tick, tock, tick, tock, tick, tock, he feels as though this is the moment he’s been waiting for, for so, so long, even though it’s not been that long at all. He unscrews the cap on the canister, the pungent smell of petrol flooding the room.
He pours the can of gasoline over his head. This isn’t for A. This isn’t for L. This is only for himself.
(The mephitic scent weighs his clothes down like lead weights; the odd yellow color embeds itself between the filaments of his shirt.)
There’s no turning back. There’s no turning back.
Beyond Birthday, with both all the care and none in the world, strikes a single match.
#fics#death note#death note: another note#death note fanfiction#beyond birthday#a (death note)#roger ruvie#mello#mihael keehl#fanfiction#one shot
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Hi! 2,3 and 13 on the Meme for Fic Writers? :D
Thank you so much for asking! Questions are from here.
2) Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?
Not really. I like my hurt/comfort angsty things I write. Though maybe there is something, but I’m not sure if there’s a name for this. But I once considered writing a silly lighthearted Modern AU Hiccstrid fic, with them being in college, and I was planning to basically have Hiccup do a Computer Science major, and then have every chapter start off with a... term or concept from CS, as it relates to his relationship woes. Such as “Complexity theory is about determining the complexity of problems. The more time or effort it takes to find a solution to a problem, the higher its complexity. Much research in CS is about finding faster algorithms for problems, and thus reducing their complexity.
Hiccup considered the problem 'Figuring out what girls think' to have an extremely high complexity, requiring an amount of research generally rewarded with a Nobel Prize.”
I once read a fic (unfortunately I can’t remember what it was called) which did such a thing for physics terms, and I thought it was cute and funny. Maybe one day I’ll write it.
3) Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?
There are of course always the problematic tropes that I don’t want to get involved with, but one that is common in the HTTYD fandom that I hate, is the “Name kid after dead relative/lover/friend/pet/whatever” trope. I know, I know, sacrilege, but I just don’t like Hiccstrid naming their kid Finn or Stoick or something like that. I personally feel it’s a bit creepy. The kid is unique, a new person. It shouldn’t be a... replacement of the dead person. And I know it’s typically not meant to be, but to me that’s what it feels like. “We lost Stoick but we have a new Stoick now”. The baby is not a new Stoick, he’s a new person who is different from Stoick.
13) What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?
I think I benefited a lot from Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 rules of writing. This is probably getting a bit long, so I’ll post them all here and write down my thoughts about them below the cut:
Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.I tend to interpret this in two ways. One, keep it short. Don’t waste the reader’s time with endless description of things that don’t matter, sideplots that go nowhere, or strange observations. Two, be upfront with your intentions. Don’t start a story that appears to start as a fluffy coffeeshop AU but halfway through suddenly turns into some kind of Hunger Games horror dystopia. The reader who probably followed the story for fluff will feel cheated, and the horror fan has to slog through chapters of other stuff, and you’ve wasted their time.
Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.The worst thing a reader can feel towards your characters is not hate or disgust. It’s indifference. It’s “I don’t care what happens to any of these people, so why should I keep reading?” Make sure the audience wants the protagonist to succeed. Wants them to overcome their troubles. Make sure the audience feels like the character has not been treated right, and deserves justice.
Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.I find this incredibly good advice to keep in mind when writing side or background characters. Let’s say your characters are taking a cab. Remember that the cab driver is a person too. They have a name, and goals. They want to go home on time. They want to listen to their favorite radio channel. They want the characters to not be so loud. They want their kids to go to a school as good as the protagonist is going through. And sure, the audience doesn’t need to know their life story, far from it. But it can make your world feel so much more alive if the characters’ loud conversation is interrupted by the driver turning the volume of his music up. It allows you to show how your protagonist will react to this. Are they empathetic? Insulted? Maybe they love the music and start a conversation with the driver. Another point where this rule applies is for villains. Keep in mind that even though your villains do horrible things, they do them because they want to accomplish something.
Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.I used to have my own addendum to this rule: Worldbuilding should also be a valid use for a sentence, I thought. But slowly I realized that it’s already in the other two things. Worldbuilding is cool, but I think that ultimately it should be subservient to the plot and characters. Especially when you’re looking through the eyes of a character, every sentence you write is what the character sees. And what the see, how they see it, how they respond, that shows character. What you show and how you show it reveals more about the plot and character than the world itself.
Start as close to the end as possible.A remarkably simple rule, yet incredibly right. When starting a story, or editing it, always ask for the first couple of chapters “Are these necessary?” Interesting stories, no matter their genre, tend to start the same way: There is a status quo that is broken. Frodo’s calm life in the Shire is interrupted by his uncle’s birthday party and the magical ring he gets after it. The Dursleys’ perfectly normal life is interrupted when a magical boy is left on their doorstep. A friend disappears. A lover is murdered. Status Quo is broken: The world is not as it should be anymore, and the protagonist has to set it right. Another way to rephrase this rule is to say: Begin at the very start of your story, then simply throw everything away until something happens that the reader has to know. Delete until you’re forced to summarize the deleted events in the rest of your story. Because if the reader didn’t need to know it, they shouldn’t have to read it.
Be a sadist. Now matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.I love this rule. Not because I’m a sadist personally, heck, it hurts me when I write such horrible things. But because indeed, we don’t see the true strength of a character until they’re in their lowest point and they still don’t give up. Throw them over the edge of the cliff, and only then can you see them truly soar. You want your readers to wonder how in the world the character could ever overcome these hurdles. This quote from Lord of the Rings seems appropriate: It's like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? And then, when the reader is wondering that, you make your character soar. They get back up, keep on fighting, and your audience will cheer and yell and cry in relief.
Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.This rule pretty much speaks for itself. There will always always always be people who don’t like what you write. Who don’t like the genre you write. Who don’t like the character you write. Screw those people.
Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.I should emphasize here that these are rules originally intended for short stories, but I agree with the rule in general regardless. I hate it when stories do this thing, which I call ‘the 4th wall censor’, where something important is referred to vaguely even though everybody in the room knows about it, simply because the audience doesn’t know. This is also the hallmark of a good detective or thriller story. Your twist or reveal shouldn’t depend on keeping something hidden from the audience. The signs should be there all along, in foreshadowing and offhand remarks that combine into a great picture once you realize it. Not the “Haha, turns out that the crime scene contained this vital clue that wasn’t mentioned before!”. Of course, there are circumstances where you want suspence or unreliable narration, but always ask yourself if it’s actually necessary. If the entire suspense is born from intentional miscommunication between you and the reader, then maybe the book wasn’t that clever to begin with.Probably way more than you wanted to know, but I hope you learned something!
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