#Niall and Bryan are saying Not Again

[sunshineandlyrics]

Same Same x

[whatacaitastrophe]

Is It Over Now? - Alternative Prologue

Chapter Song Inspiration: "Something in The Orange" - Niall Horan (originally performed by Zach Bryan)

Chapter Warnings: drinking to cope

Spotify Playlist: Here

Fic Chapter List

Chapter Notes: so I finished my tactician mode run as fallon this week, and i played it exactly how it plays out in her story (god!gale leaves her, karlach goes illithid, etc). I have now seen the epilogue party and how it goes if you romanced gale and he ascends to godhood and my brain has been whooshing ever since. So if i were to re-edit/re-write this entire story (i’m not– not right now anyway), just imagine this chapter slotted in between the prologue and chapter one.

Prologue B: You're Never Coming Home

When Fallon received the mysterious invitation requesting she attend a reunion party six months after defeating The Netherbrain, in the spot near The Emerald Grove where it all began, she immediately threw the invitation in the bin. Though she had seen most of her former companions several times since they parted ways on the docks, and though it would be nice to see her former companions again in one large group, Fallon had absolutely no desire to go anywhere that he might show up. Would whomever was throwing this party have even thought to invite him? Would he have even received the invitation? Fallon didn’t know where he was anymore, or if he’d become the god he sought out to become. As far as she knew, nobody had heard from him or spoken to him since he left. 

Not that Fallon’s friends dared to mention his name in her presence, so even if they knew of his whereabouts…they probably wouldn’t tell her. 

She should have expected that Shadowheart would show up at The Elfsong Tavern, where Fallon was still living, and demand Fallon attend. When Shadowheart threw open the curtains in the suite (curtains that had remained closed for the last six months), Fallon whined and buried herself under the blankets in her bed. “That’s fuckin’ bright, fuck.” Fallon complained, the dull headache she had from the previous evening’s attempt to drink until she reached peaceful oblivion intensifying. 

“Serves you right for living in darkness and not leaving this room for six months.” Shadowheart chastised her, and there was little sympathy in her friend’s tone. 

“That’s not true– I’ve left this room,” Fallon argued as she poked her head out from under the blankets, squinting as her eyes adjusted to the daylight now flooding her space. “I’ve gone downstairs.” Her words were slurred, and Fallon squeezed her eyes shut again, willing her brain to focus. There was no question about it: Fallon was definitely still a little drunk from last night.

Shadowheart tutted at her with her tongue and shook her head. The cleric didn’t need to say it for them both to know Fallon’s argument was weak, and going downstairs to the bar was not what Shadowheart meant. “Regardless, you’re leaving this tavern. You’re leaving Baldur’s Gate, and coming with me to the reunion party. If you won’t come willingly, I am prepared to drag you there kicking and screaming.”

“It’s not like I don’t know what you’ve all been doing. I’ve seen most of you in the last six months.” The only exceptions being Lae’zel, who had been off helping her people overthrow Vlaakith, and him. Everyone else had been by to see Fallon at least once in the last six months. Shadowheart ignored Fallon’s protests and disappeared from the bedroom. The sound of running water filled Fallon’s ears moments later and she realized Shadowheart was running her a bath. When the cleric reappeared, she stalked over to Fallon’s bed and ripped the blankets back, robbing Fallon of their warmth and the elf squawked with protest as she unsuccessfully reached for the blankets to cover herself again, if only to hide what she was sleeping in from her friend. 

Recognition immediately passed over Shadowheart’s face as she scanned the purple tunic that covered Fallon’s body, and pity filled the cleric’s eyes. “Where did you find that? I thought he took–” Shadowheart asked softly.  

“It was in my pack when– when he left. My guess is he left in such a hurry that he forgot I had it.” Fallon answered bitterly, unable to meet Shadowheart’s eyes. She hated the look of pity on her friend’s face, and Fallon wanted nothing more than to disappear back under the blankets and for her friend to leave. 

“And you sleep in it…to torture yourself?” Shadowheart questioned.

Fallon shrugged and curled her body into itself, wrapping her arms around her knees and pressing them to her chest. “I guess so.” The truth was that Fallon slept in the purple tunic because it still smelled like him, and when she wrapped her arms around herself before falling into her alcohol induced slumber every night, she could pretend they were his arms instead of her own. It didn’t always keep the nightmares she had about that day on the docks at bay, but at least when she woke up in a panic, the feeling of the velvet fabric and the lingering smell of his cologne was enough to bring her back to reality. Fallon was more certain than ever that he had enchanted his clothes to smell the way they did, because after sleeping in his tunic for six straight months, the familiar smell never faded. 

Shadowheart sighed as she took a seat on the bed at Fallon’s feet. She gently reached for Fallon’s hand and squeezed it. “If you stay home, he wins. He’s already robbed you of enough happiness– don’t let him take this from you, too.”

Fallon looked up at Shadowheart, fear shining in her eyes. “What if he shows up? I don’t think I can–” She said thickly, her voice threatening to crack as panic rose within her. 

“If he shows up, we’ll protect you. If you don’t want to speak to him, you don’t have to, and I will personally spend my entire evening concentrating on the most powerful Hold Person spell I know if he tries to speak to you without your permission.” Shadowheart tells her with more conviction than Fallon has heard from the cleric in a very long time. 

“And if Shadowheart’s spell fails, I will rip his throat out if he comes near you.” Fallon’s head snapped up as a new voice entered the conversation, and she saw Astarion leaning against the door frame of her bedroom. The serious look on his face softened when they made eye contact, and he offered her an easy smile. “Hello, darling. Miss me?”

“That depends. Are you here to help her drag me to this party?” Fallon eyed the vampire warily. 

Astarion pushed himself away from the door frame and entered the room, his red eyes looking around in distaste. “Well right now I’m here to drag you to the bath because if you smell half as bad as this room does, the only person surviving this party is me because I’m technically already dead, gods.”

Fallon scowled at him as he raised the collar of his shirt above his nose in an attempt to filter the alleged smell of her bedroom, and she looked to Shadowheart for confirmation it was as bad as he said. 

“He’s being dramatic, but…it does smell a bit like something died in here. The fact that you don’t smell it yourself is all the more reason to get you out of here for a while,” Shadowheart scrunched her nose as her attention turned from Astarion to Fallon. “Do we…want to know how long it’s been since you bathed?”  

That she couldn’t remember was telling enough. “Probably not.” Fallon shook her head, and Astarion made a disgusted noise in response. 

Shadowheart closed her eyes and sighed. “Please come to the party with us, Fallon. We all miss you.”

Fallon missed her friends, too, and hearing about what everyone had been up to in between taking turns checking in on her would be a nice distraction. “Ugh, fine.” She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood, completely unbothered by the way Astarion’s eyes went wide as he realized Fallon was not wearing any pants, and the purple tunic barely covered her ass. If her friends had wanted her to be decent when they came over, they should have sent word or, at the very least, knocked. 

Aside from poking her head in to leave what Shadowheart deemed an “appropriate” outfit for Fallon to wear to the party (“Honestly, I’m just glad I found something clean.” she’d said), Astarion and Shadowheart did not bother Fallon while she soaked in the tub, or tell her to hurry up. When Fallon emerged from the bath an hour later, the smell of lavender hit her nostrils as she re-entered her bedroom. No matter what Shadowheart and Astarion claimed her room smelled like before, it definitely hadn’t smelled like lavender. Fallon’s jaw went slack as she observed the now pristine room. Fallon found Shadowheart and Astarion waiting for her in the sitting room and she gave the pair a look of awe. “Did you clean my room for me?” 

“I cleaned your room, yes.” Shadowheart confirmed and Astarion glared at her. 

“Excuse me, I–”

“You did not help, you fluffed her pillows so you could say you helped, but I did all the work.” Shadowheart cut him off, and Astarion rolled his eyes. 

“Whatever. We’re going to be late. Shall we go?” He stood from his chair and walked to Fallon, offering his arm. Fallon nodded and inhaled slowly, deeply, trying to calm her mind. 

“Lead the way.” Gods, there better be alcohol at this party. 

There was, mercifully, an abundance of alcohol at the reunion party, and everyone else seemed as interested in partaking as Fallon did. Wyll himself said he intended to drink a half-dozen bottles of wine by the time the night was over, so Fallon did not feel guilty for taking an entire bottle of red for herself. There was no sign of him yet, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t coming, so Fallon kept drinking. She was mindful to stick to the same brand and type of wine, so each time she opened a new bottle, it was less obvious. 

If anyone noticed that the elf had three full bottles of wine to herself in under two hours, nobody tried to stop her. It seemed like everyone was too happy to see her, especially out and about, to bother with telling her to slow down the drinking (if they noticed at all). Based on the look Astarion was constantly giving her, he’d definitely noticed. As she opened her fourth bottle of wine, her vision blurring at the edges and her balance beginning to falter as she swayed slightly, Fallon wondered why her friend was so uncharacteristically silent in his judgment of her. Then she saw a flash of silver out of the corner of her eye as something, rather someone tried to skirt their way out of Fallon’s line of sight. 

That was when Fallon felt it: the pull of otherworldly energy calling to her from across their former campsite. Slowly, Fallon turned her body as she searched for the campsite for the source. When she found it, Fallon inhaled sharply and nausea immediately began roiling in her stomach.

Gale. 

Not only that, but if the silver glow surrounding his body was any indication, he was a god. The man she loved more than anything had succeeded in his quest to reforge The Crown of Karsus and seize its power for himself. He’d gotten what he wanted, while she’d been left behind wondering what could have been. Shadowheart was at her side in an instant, and Fallon gripped her friend’s arm to steady herself and keep her entire body from trembling at the sight of him. 

“How long has he been here?” Fallon asked quietly. 

“Just long enough for Astarion to tell him to stay away from you.” Shadowheart rested her hand over Fallon’s.

As though he’d heard his name, Astarion appeared in front of Fallon, blocking her from Gale’s line of sight. “Are you okay? Say the word and I’ll take you home.” 

“No,” Fallon shook her head, closing her eyes. She was not okay, but she also wasn’t going to run away. “I’m not leaving. Remember what Shadowheart said before we came here? If I leave, he wins. I’m not letting him win.” 

“Are you sure?” Astarion asked, concern etched across his face. 

“I’m not leaving.” Fallon reiterated, as deja vu flooded her system and reminded her that she, Astarion, and Shadowheart had a similar exchange once where she refused to leave a location because of Gale. Only back then, it was at the Stormshore Tabernacle, and instead of waiting for Gale to leave before departing herself, she was waiting to leave until he returned from being summoned by Mystra.

Astarion sighed. “Okay. Just say the word though–”

“I’m fine, Astarion.” Fallon snapped. She was not fine, and they both knew it, but Fallon was too stubborn to admit it. Fallon released her grip on Shadowheart’s arm and took a long drink from her wine bottle, closing her eyes as she willed the alcohol to bring her to peaceful oblivion where she was unbothered by Gale’s presence. If Shadowheart and Astarion exchanged any looks, she did not see it. 

Fallon needed a distraction. Something stronger than wine, and when she turned to walk away from Astarion and Shadowheart as she lowered the bottle from her mouth, her eyes landed on the tall, broad figure of Halsin standing by the fire. 

A distraction, indeed. 

Fallon sauntered over to the druid with a coy smile on her face. “Hi friend.” She greeted like she hadn’t been speaking to him for half the night already. She stumbled slightly in her drunkenness, and her free hand instinctively reached for Halsin’s abnormally large bicep to steady herself, and the druid’s hands instinctively went to her waist to steady her. Fallon giggled. “My hero! I would have Fallon into the fire if you weren’t here. Wait– did I say Fallon instead of fallen? I’m Fallon.”

Halsin laughed softly, shaking his head. “Yes you are, friend. You’re also very drunk,” The druid’s hands dropped from her waist as soon as he was sure that Fallon was steady on her feet. “I take it you’ve had a good evening? The presence of a certain wizard hasn’t soured your mood?” 

“What wizard? There are no wizards here– just gods and mortals,” Fallon slurred, rolling her eyes. “My evening has been lovely, thank you. It’s been so good to see…well, almost everyone again. Could’ve done without Volo crashing. Or the god. Though I could think of a few ways it could be better.” She took another swig from her wine bottle as she eyed Halsin mischievously, like a cat circling in on a mouse. 

Halsin raised an eyebrow at her with a wary look on his face. “Oh?” 

Fallon stepped closer to Halsin, and as she did so, her eyes found Gale’s. Fallon inhaled sharply at the intensity of his gaze. He was watching her. Good. She turned her attention back to Halsin with a smile. “I seem to recall a time when you wanted to lay beneath the stars with me,” She placed her free hand on Halsin’s broad chest. “How about you and I find a place to watch the stars later…just the two of us?” Fallon bit her lip in a suggestive manner, her lips curling into a smirk as she eyed the druid.

Halsin covered Fallon’s hand on his chest with his own, and brought her hand to his mouth, kissing the back of it softly before redirecting her hand to her side and releasing it. “Flattered as I am that you sought me out, you have had quite a lot to drink this evening. I cannot in good conscience take you to bed in this condition,” The look on his face could only be described as gentle disappointment, like he was about to scold a child, not reject a fully grown woman’s advances. “However if, when you are sound of mind, this conversation comes back to you and you have sorted everything out with Gale and Astarion, you know where to find me.” 

Fallon stared at Halsin in confusion as he took a step back from her. “What do you mean? Sorted things out with Gale and Astarion?” 

Halsin chuckled. “It’s not often that one finds themself in a position where a god is ready to smite me where I stand and a vampire prepared to rip out my throat simply for placing my hands on a woman’s waist, but that is what just occurred,” He shrugged. “So you tell me.” 

With that, he bade her goodnight and Fallon was left alone by the fire, pouting and confused. Across the flames, she saw Gale again, and he looked smug. It was possible that was just his face now that he was a god, but even in her inebriated condition, Fallon had a feeling that wasn’t the case. Fallon downed the rest of her wine bottle and tossed it into the dirt with a soft thud before storming over to the god. 

“I wondered if I’d see you here,” Gale greeted her with a smile far too smug for someone who was seeing his ex-girlfriend for the first time in six months after abandoning her. “I imagine this must be quite a shock. Whatever you’re feeling, do not be afraid. I’m still me…just an improved version.” 

Fallon stared at Gale, stunned into silence at how casual he was being. “So you did it then. You became a god?”

“I told you I would, didn’t I?” Fallon hated the condescending smirk on Gale’s face. No, this was most definitely not an “improved” version of Gale by any means– Fallon knew that and she’d only been in his presence for less than thirty seconds.

“Was it worth it? Is godhood everything you dreamed it would be, despite what you had to give up?” Fallon asked him. 

“Of course it was worth it– it’s not like I had to give up anything of consequence. I had nothing. Spurned by my goddess, my power all but depleted, my reputation destroyed… That’s what I gave up when I reforged the crown.” 

“And me.” She muttered, her eyes dropping to the dirt beneath their feet. His words stung, and Fallon could feel the anger bubbling within her. 

“Sorry, what was that? I may be a god now but that doesn’t mean my hearing has improved.” Gale chuckled jokingly, completely oblivious to the fact that he’d upset her at all. 

“I said ‘and me.’ You had me, Gale. Though from the sound of it, I was nothing of consequence and meant nothing to you, so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised at how easy it was for you to give me up.” When she looked back up at him, fiery drunken anger shone in her eyes. 

Gale looked completely taken back by her outburst, and the mask of the confident god faltered. “Fallon, I– I did this for you. I told you that I needed to reforge the crown, then I could give you everything.” 

“Don’t. Don’t fucking lie to me. You did not do this for me. You were only thinking of yourself. If you were thinking of me, you never would have left me behind in the first place,” Fallon spat, and she reached forward to shove Gale as her anger manifested physically. The god of ambition was unmoved by her attempt to shove him. She was not sure when it happened, but Fallon had begun crying. “You were everything to me, and I meant nothing to you.” 

Gale tried to take a step towards her, reaching for her, but Fallon stepped back and out of his reach. “Don’t fucking touch me!” She yelled. As though he’d been waiting in the shadows for this very moment, Astarion appeared almost out of thin air and he stepped between Gale and Fallon.

“Back up, wizard.” He snarled at Gale, placing a hand on Gale’s chest as a warning to not take another step.

Gale tilted his head, his gaze flitting back and forth between Astarion and Fallon, then a look of understanding passed over his face. Gale’s nostrils flared as he scoffed.  “Well you certainly didn’t waste any time, did you?” He quipped to Astarion, causing the vampire to get right in his face. 

“Walk away, Gale. Now. Need I remind you that this very specific group of people have taken on the effigies of four different gods, and won?” Astarion threatened, and Fallon glanced around only to realize that the rest of their companions had gathered behind her– every single one of them ready to back Astarion if a fight broke out. 

Gale looked at his former companions, assessing the situation carefully. Then, slowly, he raised his hands in defeat and backed up. “As you wish. It was time for me to return to the heavens anyhow,” Gale’s eyes fell on Fallon and he looked at her longingly. “I truly did come here ready to offer you everything. How unfortunate that I believed you would wait for me.”

With a glow of ethereal light, Gale disappeared, and Fallon immediately collapsed into Astarion’s arms as sobs wracked through her body as their companions surrounded her. “I hate him,” She sobbed into Astarion’s chest. “I hate him.”  

Those three words were the only ones she knew as Astarion carried her back to Baldur’s Gate via the portal they arrived through, back to The Elfsong Tavern and up to the suite. She repeated her mantra as she allowed Astarion to help her change into a set of night clothes Shadowheart found while cleaning, and as he helped her into bed. 

“I hate him” was the last thing she said before she passed out in Astarion’s arms, curled up against his side. 

The headache was what woke her bright and early the next morning, followed by the nausea. Then the panic set in as she tried to remember the events of the previous evening, but her memory failed her completely. 

“The last thing I remember was talking to Lae’zel about Shadowheart moving in with her, and that was…pretty early in the evening?” She asked Astarion for confirmation, and he nodded. 

“Jesus…” Fallon paused for a moment, chewing on her lip as she tried to remember, but nothing came. “Did–did he show up?” 

Astarion was quiet for a moment, but then he sighed and shook his head. “No, darling. He didn’t come.” 

Of course he didn’t. Fallon blinked back the tears that formed in the corner of her eyes. “He’s never coming home, is he?” She said more to herself than to Astarion, and Astarion, bless him, seemed to know this, so he did not answer her. 

“I want to be alone, please.” Fallon said quietly as she laid back down on the bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. “Please, Astarion.” 

The vampire surveyed his friend silently, as though he were trying to figure out if she meant her words or not. “Alright. Shall I come by later to check in?” He asked as he rose from the bed..

Fallon shook her head. “I’ll call you if I need you. Promise.” She nodded her head towards the sending stone on her bedside table. 

Astarion nodded and began walking to the bedroom door, but he stopped halfway to the door and turned back to look at Fallon. “He never deserved you.” Astarion said softly. 

As he exited, he noticed the purple tunic Fallon had been wearing when he and Shadowheart arrived sitting on the top of a pile of dirty clothes, and in a split second decision, Astarion checked to make sure Fallon wasn’t watching before swiping the tunic from the top of the pile with the intention of throwing it away the second he passed a garbage bin outside the Elfsong Tavern. 

[sheenashifts1217]

Helloo!! I'm sending in an ask for a shufflemancy/channeling reading from a person in my WR <333 My Name: Angelica (Angel for short) DR Person's Name: Nova, she/her. She's my best friend in my waiting room Question: Does Nova have any advice for me on my shifting journey? Thank you so much for taking the time to do this (if you end up accepting, ofc) and I hope your channeling skills improve very soon!♥

Hello my love, thank you so much for this ask!

This is my first reading I’ve done on someone who isn’t myself or someone I personally know.

Nova showed me two songs for you. The first one being Still by Niall Horan

The lyrics that first stood out to me were, “My mind is complicated. Find it hard to rearrange it but I’ll have to find a way somehow”

I’m taking this as maybe your point of view towards shifting. You realize that there is a lot to your mind and consciousness and you’re struggling, but you don’t want to give up. Nova sees this as well and she is saying she’s proud of you for persisting and not giving up. What I specifically heard in my mind was “tell her I’m proud”. You will find a way that works for you because you already assume that, so you know it.

Another few lines that stood out to me were “and I just don’t know why, the stars won’t shine at night”, “so tell me you want it, a thousand miles away from the day that we started”

Again, I see this as the first line being your pov or feelings toward your shifting journey atm. You’re almost at a cross roads of finding what works for you. You feel like you’re doing everything you possibly can. My advice for that is to just let go. Don’t do anything that feels like it’s draining you. Shifting should be fun and a way to get to know yourself. Nova is really wanting you make sure you take time for yourself and don’t push yourself too much. Instead, just let it happen. The second line is Nova quite literally saying “I know you want it, look how far you’ve come”. I keep hearing her say she’s proud. Nova wants you to keep going, but to find balance at the same time. You’ve made amazing progress, but you need to make sure you don’t lose yourself. I heard “find you”. Nova is also very excited to spend time with you. You are such an important person to her.

The last lines that stood out to me were “I’m still in love with you”, and “we’ll be alright”.

Nova loves you so much. I’m really feeling almost like you all COULD be platonic soulmates or something very close to that, like sisters. I also feel like the line “I’m still in love with you”, could be you still being in love with shifting despite any struggles you may have had with it. Leading into the “we’ll be alright” line, you know and Nova knows that you will shift. You already have, you just have to claim it and become aware. Nova is ready for you to be there with her and spend time with you. She is reminding you that you are all you need to shift and that you already have shifted. The world is yours, all you have to do is claim it. You will find what works for you and continue to grow.

The other song is Something in The Orange by Zach Bryan, but the version sung by Niall Horan. Idk why it played the Niall version, but i believe that was confirmation that Nova really wants you to get this message. (Maybe one direction means something to one of you?)

The main parts that stood out to me from this were “I miss you in the morning”, “we’re not done”, “you’ve been waiting all night”, and “to you I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am”.

Again, this is Nova confirming how excited she is to see you. She misses you and she knows you’ve been putting forth your best efforts. You’re persisting and she’s so so so proud of you. She says keep up that drive you have, but also use that energy to take care of yourself. Shift for you and she will be there. When I heard the last line, “to you I’m just a man, to me you’re all I am”, I thought of that old tiktok trend where you show someone important to you with that song. Your and Nova’s bond is strong and she wants to be that sister for you. She’s guiding you and is always there for you.

Anyway, I’m feeling the overall message here from both songs is to keep the faith in yourself and keep finding what works for you while also finding your own pace. Shifting isn’t a race, but a walk. When you go on a walk, you take in things around you as you head toward your destination. Take in what helps and what hinders. Take yourself and nourish yourself. There is no time limit because time is not linear. Nova is extremely proud of you and she knows you’ll do it. Trust yourself.

I hoped this helped and resonated at least a little bit. Feel free to tell me if it was accurate or not. I’d love to hear back. I love you ❤️

[actualhumansunshine]

Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?? Fingers crossed that this makes it to your inbox.

I’m a few hours early, but wanted to make sure I wished you a “Happy Birthday!” I hope you are doing well and your 32nd trip around the sun is a memorable one. Were you able to see Niall while he was on tour? Did you get to have your gooey cake (can’t remember what you call it, but you poke holes in the cake and then pour condensed milk, I think, over the holes)? I think I remember reading about this in one of your posts/in your tags. Gosh I miss reading your tags on things 😭 Anyway, let’s get to the real reason why I’m here. 1.) something you learned the last year

2.) something you regret

3.) something you wish someone had told you

4.) what do you want to be when you grow up

5.) a song you heard that you love

Hoping you spend your day doing something fun and you are content (or feeling however you wish - hey maybe you want to be sad and that’s ok). Thinking of you. 🥳

HELLO!!!! before we get into the rest of it i just want to say how much i appreciate you showing up every single year, and that goes doubly so now when i've been more mia than not 😭

unfortunately i wasn't able to see niall on tour (the downsides of living in buttfuck nowhere 😔), but rand and gwen sent me some really lovely videos when they went to the MSG shows so i almost feel like i DID see him.

and you remembered the cake too omg!! you're right, you pour condensed milk and caramel over it, then top with whipped cream. it's SO fucking good. this year tho, i decided to get an oreo blizzard ice cream cake from dairy queen and it was fucking delicious.

anyways onto the questions:

i don't exactly know how to phrase this as 'something i learned' but i feel like my biggest takeaway from the past year is that i finally feel like at the big ol' age of 31 going on 32 i'm like....coming into myself? figuring out who i am and what i like and how i want to spend my time and who i want to surround myself with and all of that. so maybe the thing i've learned is that what everybody says about your 30s being the time when you REALLY get to enjoy life as a fully realized human is actually true.

this isn't a cop out i swear, but i....don't think i have a regret from the past year? at least not anything major that really stands out rn? there's maybe a fleeting thought every once in a while that i wish i could've gotten to this part of my life where i really do feel so happy and fulfilled sooner, but i don't know that it's necessarily a regret because ultimately isn't it the journey that makes us who we are...

oh god, i really am just gonna be repeating myself from the past however many fucking years but GENUINELY it's ok to not have everything figured out!!! the day will come when it starts falling into place and up until that point it kinda fucking sucks but that's ok!!!! again, it's all just part of the journey 💕

honestly i LOVE that job i'm in right now so if i could just do that...i'd be so down (and yes it is the same job i talked about last year lol)

and once again, as per usual, you fucking know me and you know that i could never share just ONE song, so here's a top five of the year:

charlie xcx - von dutch (literally THEEE gym song of all time)

zach bryan - the good i'll do

tyler childers - all your'n

artic monkeys - stop the world i wanna get off with you

sabrina carpenter - bed chem (i know it just came out two days ago but i've listened approximately 5 bazillion times, song of all time, album of all time, artist of all time, HORNY QUEEN 👑🫶)

[mrobson]

it’s my top singles of 2023!

100. Fall Out Boy - Hold Me Like A Grudge

099. YUNGBLUD - Hated

098. Beverley Knight - Systematic Overload

097. Alec Benjamin - Different Kind of Beautiful

096. PNAU. Bebe Rexha & Ozuna - Stars

095. Becky Hill & Chase & Status - Disconnect

094. Ava Max - Choose Your Fighter

093. Maisie Peters - Body Better

092. Måneskin - HONEY (ARE U COMING?)

091. Sigrid - The Hype

090. Sam Fischer - Hard To Love

089. Fred Again… & Obongjayar - adore u

088. Carly Rae Jepsen - Shy Boy

087. Kenya Grace - Strangers

086. Loreen - Is It Love

085. Zara Larsson - End Of Time

084. Zach Bryan & Kacey Musgraves - I Rememeber Everything

083. Tove Lo - Borderline

082. Alessandra - Pretty Devil

081. Paramore - Running Out Of Time

080. Rita Ora - You Only Love Me

079. Nothing But Thieves - Keeping You Around

078. Sam Smith - Man I Am

077. Alessandra - Queen of Kings

076. Maisie Peters - Run

075. Troye Sivan - One Of Your Girls

074. Jason Mraz - You Might Like It

073. Stormzy & RAYE -The Weekend

072. MUNA - One That Got Away

071. Anne-Marie & Shania Twain - UNHEALTHY

070. Jason Mraz - I Feel Like Dancing

069. Mimi Webb - Freezing

068. Jessie Ware - Freak Me Now

067. Jonas Brothers - Waffle House

066. Conan Grey - Never Ending Song

065. Sigala & MNEK - Radio

064. Taylor Swift - All Of The Girls You Loved Before

063. Paramore - C’est Comme Ca

062. Kelly Clarkson - mine

061. Tove Lo - I like u

060. Dylan ft. Bastille - Liar Liar

059. Zara Larsson - Can’t Tame Het

058. Jonas Brothers - Wings

057. Chase & Status & Hedex ft ArrDee - Liqour & Cigarettes

056. Romy - Loveher

055. Tate McRae - greedy

054. Conan Grey - Killing Me

053. Niall Horan - Meltdown

052. Billie Eilish - What Was I Made For?

051. Dagny - Same Again (For Love)

050. Jason Mraz - Feel Good Too

049. Tori Kelly - missin u

048. Becky Hill & Lewis Thompson - Side Effects

047. Kylie Minogue - Padam Padam

046. Leigh-Anne - Don’t Say Love

045.Jessie Ware - Pearls

044. Calvin Harris & Ellie Goulding - Miracle

043. Troye Sivan - Got Me Startec

042. Måneskin - BABY SAID

041. Kelly Clarkson - roses

040. Maisie Peters - Lost The Breakup

039. Dopamine & Sigala - Feel It Deep Inside

038. Nathan Dawe & Bebe Rexha - Heart Still Beating

037. Zara Larsson & David Guetta - On My Love

036. Ed Sheeran - F64

035. Ellie Goulding - Like a Saviour

034. Loreen - Tattoo

033. Calvin Harris & Sam Smith - Desire

032. Fall Out Boy - Heartbreak Feels So Good

031. Rita Ora - Don’t Think Twice

030. Purple Disco Machine. Duke Dumont & Nothing But Thieves - Something On My Mind

029. Alec Benjamin - I Sent My Therapist To Therapy

028. Måneskin ft. Tom Morello - GOSSIP

027. Dagny - Heartbreak In The Making

026. Fall Out Boy - Love From The Other Side

025. Doechii - What It Is

024. Bimini - Rodeo

023.Jodie Harsh - Hectic

022. Charli XCX - Speed Drive

021. Alok. the Chainsmokers & Mae Stephens - Jungle

020. Nothing But Thieves - Welcome To The DCC

019. Romy - The Sea

018. Charli XCX & Sam Smith - In The City

017. Joel Corry, Icona Pop & Rain Radio - Desire

016. Regard & Ella Henderson - No Sleep

015. Carly Rae Jepsen - Psychedelic Switch

014. Romy - She’s On My Mind

013. Christine & The Queens - To be honest

012. Cian Ducrot - Heaven

011. cassö, RAYE & D Block Europe - Prada

010. Olivia Rodrigo - vampire

009. Everything Everything - Cold Reactor

008. Bebe Rexha - Call On Me

007. The Blessed Madonna ft. Jacob Lusk - Mercy

006. Taylor Swift - Cruel Summer

005. Swedish House Mafia - Ray Of Solar

004. Troye Sivan - Rush

003. Nothing But Thieves - Overcome

002. Jessie Ware - Begin Again

001. Romy - Enjoy Your Life

[liam-93-productions]

Liam’s full interview with Tings Magazine - Part 2

Note: the interview was recorded in may 2020. 

You had the support system of Harry, Louis, Niall and Zayn during your teen years. When that support system stopped, having to deal with it by yourself, did that seem like a harder loss than it did leading up to that? It felt more like an identity crisis because that was like your crutch almost, being a part of the band. It got to the point where it was almost invincible. But that kind of got let go. I had serious questions about whether I wanted to be a solo artist. My thing was if the right song came then I wil, then obviously “Strip That Down” came along and I couldn’t really say no.  It’s a bit crazy, especially being released on such a pedestal. You don’t want to undo your legacy for what you set for yourself because you achieve so much so quickly. It’s kind of funny. I was playing poker the other day for a charity. Bryan Cranston and Aaron Paul and a couple of big Hollywood celebrities at this one table and me, which was the most random thing ever. They were like, “I’ve got questions that I like to ask people at the poker table. What was your first job?” Everyone was like I was a paperboy, or I was that, and I was like my first job was One Direction. And Bryan Cranston was like “You can’t really go anywhere from there. You’ve set yourself a hard task.” And I thought it was really funny, but it’s so true. One Direction was such a massive thing and I think we were all just existing since One Direction and in a sense, the hype of the comeback is the thing that’s kept us bubbling along. For sure, from that start, it was this massive identity crisis, you were a part of this unit and you knew how you fit in the unit. You knew the part that you played and as soon as that was gone, you couldn’t play the same role and carry on that way because the other units weren’t there to put it all together if that makes sense. So, you really had to try to discover who you were but in the public eye. That was stressful. 

How was that process for you, other than being stressful? How did you go about doing that? Really badly (laughs). 

Not at all. I disagree with that. You are very much different now than you were then. And you’ve grown into who you are now in a really amazing way. Was part of this identity something that was brewing during your time at One Direction. I feel like you hear Zayn do interviews and he’s been very clear about feeling different than how he’s been projected in One Direction and the identity that he’s become now. Was that the same case for you? Or was it more of a discovery process where you had no idea who you were when you left? Oh no, it was a complete discovery process. I mean if you look as simple as clothes. We were told what to wear at the start. It was like having four twin sisters. It was like ‘you can’t wear that’, ‘I’m wearing this’. So, we each got our thing. Mine was like plaid shirts. And for two years of my life, I just wore plaid shirts because that was my thing. Then we came out of that and went into this black phase where we all wore black t-shirts and black jeans or white t-shirts and black jeans. And when you come out of it and you don’t have to wear black t-shirts and jeans anymore, I was like, ‘what the hell do I wear?’ I went through a complete transition of clothes and different things. And that is only one element of your life, your appearance, what you look like.  For other things, for humor, you only experience the same humor for five years, around the same people. Then that changes. You meet other people. And we become more into the P.C. generation of things and it was like “we can’t say this anymore. We can’t do that”. And that was like another thing. As you try to develop, you make several mistakes. I went through the gangster rap phase. And it is the same with music as well. At first, it was like all the chains and rap, it was like escape the boyband scenario for me. 

The Miley Cyrus effect. The Disney to bad girl effect.  Exactly, I wanted to escape and identify myself differently. And I kind of pushed that to as many limitsas it could go to. Ever since then, as you get older, you realize that time is a wonderful thing. Instead of being on a race to be a certain someone because all your role models are so far ahead of you because they are already there, but they didn’t start there. For me, when I got into acting and doing auditions most recently, I started looking at actors that I love. Brad Pitt is one of my favorite, favorite people, you know, who’s transitioned to being the most amazing person, who has his own identity. I was thinking, how did he do it? So, I watched an interview of him at twenty-six. You have to watch it. He barely answers a question in the interview, you can’t believe it’s the Brad Pitt you see now. 

That’s thirty years of media training in between. Exactly! And this was when he did his first role. I already had my first role, being in One Direction, so I’m even further on than he was at my age. I don’t have to worry so much now I just have to have trust in the process of whatever life is, I know this sounds a little bit around about the house, but I just think you have to take a back seat and move steadily into things.  When you are a kid, you are in such a rush. You’re like I want it now. I want to be this guy. When I did my Hugo thing, it was all about muscles and training, and I was looking at Mark Wahlberg. And Mark Wahlberg is freakin’ Mark Wahlberg! It’s a taken him years and years to be Mark Wahlberg. It’s just where you set your sights for your role models, I guess. It’s the little thing that it has to come now and that’s what pop stardom is like, because you need it right now because you are already in it. I’m not waiting to come up, I’m already in it. 

Quick and constant. There’s this constant need to feed the system or you’re out of the system. Yeah, and it’s easier for artists nowadays. If you look at NSYNC, after they broke up, it was like, unfortunately, nobody really cared about what J.C. and the other boys were doing. So, they didn’t get the articles. Now, it’s like you are your own charge in that. You can be the front page of so-and-so if you really want to be. You just have to do the right thing on your channel. So, it’s like being able to be in charge of that stuff helps artists a lot more these days. But once again, that’s pressure because we are all in charge of our press and media from our phones. Whereas, they would have to go into work and have someone lay our the interviews or they wouldn’t get them. So, I suppose it’s a different type of pressure really. 

Yeah, and it’s a different landscape. They would have it laid out for them, and those interviews would last months and months, where today it’s like one day. Then it’s swipe up, swipe left, and onto the next thing. The lifespan of what we put out is so much shorter.  That’s the ting. I had TikTok out yesterday and I haven’t really invested a lot of time into something. But I made this really stupid song about cookies that went with my video. I literally just made this fun song in my house and we were like “Screw it” let’s make a music video for it. We did like one of those Lonely Island type videos and put it out. It’s one of the pieces of content that I cared about the most because I made the whole song and whatever. It was fun, and I wanted people to enjoy it the same way I did.  But even when you post something like that, I see some people where it just goes completely over their heads, that this is just a fun thing to look at. It doens’t mean anything. It doesn’t mean that my next album is going to be about freakin’ cookies or whatever. I think we’ve lost some of the lightheartedness, having to take ourselves so seriously all the time. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s like, you can view the average time that someone looked at a post, so it’s that cutthroat. If they stayed on for five seconds or whatever, the average time should be the full time and if it’s not, the post was bad. You have that power now, but it’s in seconds. Even the average time someone came on to look at it, it’s down to the seconds. 

You brought up the hype of a reunion and relevancy and keeping that alive. That interest. Where does that stand? There’s a lot of conflicting articles about a One Direction reunion. What can you say or not say, what’s the official word? To be honest with you, I keep mixing up the words reunion and anniversary. Our anniversary is coming up; it’s ten years that we created the band which is amazing. It’s a huge achievement for all of us. Every so often, I’ll accidentally say reunion and I’ll be like “oh my Dog, that conflicts another report.” I’ve been really clear that there’s not a reunion, just because I know music schedules. Harry just put out a music video and that’s got two years in it before we even think about a reunion. And I just don’t think everyone’s done yet. I think everyone’s enjoying their time, making their own workm that little bit of freedom. Um, and One direction is not exactly a side career that you can have. It requires you to be fully in it. Until we can all stop and commit to the band for whatever reason, I don’t think it can come back. I think there will be a reunion and I’m excited about it and I think it’s be a lot of fun. It will be interesting to see if we have the same essence that we had as kids. 

Essence meaning synergy on stage or camaraderie? I think a little bit of both. I mean One Direction was such a free time, and people enjoyed the fact that it was five lads on a stage having a good time. They didn’t care if we sang in tune or if we fell over. That’s what the show was about. It was chaotic. We’ve all become these more polished popstars. I don’t know if we have the same carefreeness about us, is what I’m worries about. But it’s been nice we’ve all been talking, staying in touch. It’s the first time that everyone’s spoken in the last five years. It’s just nice that everyone’s grown into being nice people. There’s none of them that I really hate. Everyone’s grown up into nice young men who just gone on a bit further from where you left them. 

Who are you closest to? Do you speak to any of them regularly? We have a big respect for each other. And I don’t think we give each other enough credit for how we’ve helped each other as well. I speak more to Louis and Niall than I do anybody else. I speak to Harry on occasion. I think we don’t have very much in common as people. There’s nothing wrong with us. We just don’t have as much in common. And Zayn, sadly, has fallen completely by the ... which is terrible. I feel for him sometimes, but at the same point, he made his decision on that. And it’s not something you can go back to lightly. If I saw him on the street, would I say hello? 100 percent. It doesn’t bother me, intrusively. I’ve already spoken about his great news. Having been through it myself, ... it’s interesting. I just think it’s a lonely scenario to be in, not being able to speak to the other people that helped you get to where you are. 

If you were to guess, or maybe you already know, would you see that reunion including Zayn or is that over and done with? I think it’s over and done with, for the time being. You can never fully discount it because you had the Robbie Williams Take That scenario. I remember watching that concert when I was in the band. It was so interesting that they were in a band, he left and had all the success he had, and came back. He had his own section of the show which I thought was interesting. They weren’t down in the dumps. They had some of the biggest hits in Britain. I don’t think you can fully discount it. I know for now it’s not possible. I think, for now, it would take certain people to admit wrong in a scenario and I don’t see that happening because they don’t even realize it yet. That’s a little further down the line. 

If a reunion happens, how do you think you would envision that creatively? Everyone has such different formed identities.  I actually think that we’ve picked up on that already, not knowing what is about to happen next. I remember from the tour screens from the very last tour. The introduction with the songs showed us on video doing different things. It set us apart ever so slightly. But I feel like if we came back together, it would be a celebration of what One Direction was, what is now, and each of the members. I think the tour screens would Harry is a completely different aesthetic that I was. I just think the band’s name is completely ironic because everyone has gone in opposite directions. Maybe, that’s the point of the name. I don’t know. Yeah, I just think it would fit back together quite seamlessly, for completely different reasons. 

[cali-holland]

1. 6 of the songs you listen to most? 23. How do you vent your anger? 32. What’s the worst place you have ever been to? 61. Are you wearing socks right now? 96. Do you have any relatives in jail? 97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

1. 6 of the songs you listen to most?

Lie To Me by 5SOS, Lover by Taylor Swift, Black and White by Niall Horan, Miss Me More by Kelsea Ballerini, Never Be Alone by Shawn Mendes, & Play It Again by Luke Bryan (this is all according to my Spotify lol)

23. How do you vent your anger?

I tell people (either the person who pissed me off or someone else) and I get out my own reasonings of why I’m mad, but then I listen to whoever I’m talking to and hear what they have to say on the situation. It really helps me grow as a person because then I realize my mistakes and I can learn more points of view.

32. What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

I don’t know. I went to a party with my old roommates (they’re bitches though so I guess my old apartment with them is ultimately the worst place) and it was just awful because we were all in sweaters and we only stayed for like 10 minutes, but my anxiety HATED that night.

61. Are you wearing socks right now?

Nope haha

96. Do you have any relatives in jail?

Nope

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

I’m sure I have when I was young. I tend to be able to hold it lol

[niallismymuse]

Chapter 3

Tessa spent the days leading up to the camping trip working as hard as she possibly could. She needed to finish the projects she had already started, because if she left without completing them, a tight knot of anxiety would squeeze her chest until she couldn’t focus on anything but the work that needed to be finished. It would ruin her trip.

She ignored the roommate problem entirely; it was something to worry about after the trip, purely because she didn’t have enough time to interview applicants until she was home anyway. And even if she did, she didn’t want a practical stranger living in here when she was gone.

It had nothing to do with the still-cold silence between her and Jess. Nothing at all.

She had texted the group chat and informed them that Niall was coming. Melody had been excited, and Ryan had cheered simply for more testosterone. Lyrica had seemed excited too; apparently Niall knew how to throw down some alcohol, which was mostly what they did on this trip.

Jess hadn’t said a word.

And it was fine. Whatever. The Christmas gift would remain unopened and at her apartment, for now at least.

She kept in constant contact with Niall over text, telling him what he should bring and informing him that he would have to share a bedroom with Ryan. He seemed excited. It’s been a while since I’ve done something as spontaneous as this, one of his texts read.

This wasn’t that spontaneous – he had a couple days to prepare – but she understood what he meant. It was hard to uproot your system when it was work, and mostly just that. Sometimes at parties, she didn’t know what to do with herself, like she had forgotten how to act after hours of being on the computer.

Well, usually she drank some tequila in those situations and got over it quickly enough. Tessa loved to dance; she wondered, briefly, if Niall would dance with her at the cabin. While she hadn’t been an avid listener, she knew enough about his One Direction days; he hadn’t been much of a dancer then.

She could throw it down, though. Maybe that would be enough for the both of them.

Tessa sighed and took her headphones off, before rubbing at her tired face with her hands. She was going to work herself to death. And ever since having Niall over the other night, she felt like her work hadn’t been quality. Her mind was moving in lopsided circles, like a flat bicycle tire. Work. Niall. Work. Niall. Was this video even worth her time? Did Niall like her as a friend or did he like her like her? Did this concept make sense, and would it translate onscreen? Would Niall have a good time at the cabin?

Eventually, she had to stop and take a break from everything – the video she was working on, and her own brain. Tessa tossed her mouse aside and pushed herself up from her desk, rubbing at her temples and closing her eyes. She exhaled slowly, feeling her shoulders slump as she let all of her anxiety filter out of her. Maybe she needed to go to a yoga class, or something similar, and stretch it out.

As she was weighing the pros and cons of heading to the local gym to see if she could catch a class, her phone rang. Curious, she picked it up and bit her lip when she saw who was calling. It was her mother.

With more apprehension than she was willing to admit, Tessa accepted the call and lifted the phone to her ear. “Hello?”

“Oh, so now you answer me. You’ve been avoiding me for days, and you better have a good reason for it.”

She barely restrained herself from rolling her eyes. Tessa loved her mom, she really did, but she was often overbearing and some people (like her husband) would even say that she has controlling tendencies. She hadn’t spoken to her since before the pictures of her and Niall had blown up on the Internet, though Maria Jenkins had tried her best to change that. She had been calling every day.

Tessa decided to go with something somewhat close to the truth. “I haven’t really felt up to talking to people, Mom.”

Her mother changed tactics immediately. “Aw, sweet girl, I can’t even imagine the stress you’ve been under, especially with what’s been in the news.” She paused, giving Tessa a chance to chime in with exactly what had been in the news, but continued when she remained silent. “But you can always talk to me, and you can always come home for a little bit. We’ll take care of you and get you right on track.”

Maria had been trying to get her back home since Tessa had left to attend college, years ago. She had never anticipated that her only child would want to leave the nest so soon, and she took any chance she could to remind Tessa that she could always come home if anything was too hard, or if she was struggling.

Privately, Tessa was pretty sure that if she agreed and went home to stay for longer than a holiday, she would never leave again. She had a sneaking suspicion that her mother would try to find a way to keep her there forever – visiting while on breaks from college had been trying, at best. She nearly became a fugitive from her mother one winter break, sneaking out of windows at night just to get out of the house.

“I’m good, Mom, thanks. I’ve just been relaxing around the apartment.”

“Good, good.” There was a weighty pause, and then when her mother spoke again, she sounded almost concerned. “That man…he’s treating you good, right? In life and about this whole paparazzi situation?”

Tessa felt her eyes nearly well up. Of course, her mom was worried about her. She loved her, after all, and vice versa. “Oh, Mom, we’re not together…but he’s a very good friend to me, yes.”

She waited to hear how ‘friends don’t kiss each other’s cheeks like that, Tessa’, but her mother merely sighed instead. “Okay, my girl. I trust you. Just…call me, okay? I miss you. And if everything gets to be too much, you can always come home, even if it’s just for a day.”

Tessa hung up a few minutes later, after chatting about some lighter topics. She felt both better and worse. Better, because her mother did truly love her. Worse, because she was a shitty daughter.

With a sigh and a shake of her head, Tessa tried to put everything out of her mind. She grabbed her purse and her wallet and walked out of her apartment. If she hurried, she could make the 3:00 yoga class, and since she was already dressed in athleisure wear, she booked it out to her car.

Tessa just needed some time to think and to absorb.

✩✩✩

Suddenly, it was New Year’s Eve, and Tessa was packed and ready to go. She was just waiting for Niall to pick her up around noon, and then they would drive up to the Big Sur Campground.

They had decided yesterday to drive up together. She was a little nervous – the drive was on the long side, and there would be nothing to do but either talk or sit in silence. What if she said something awkward? What if she accidentally revealed she had been wondering if he liked her?

Tessa used to be the type of woman that would straight up tell someone if she liked them, but she referred to those times as her college years. She hadn’t done that since junior year of college, and anyway, that method had given her Bryan, an ex, who was a fucking loser.

Besides, she just…didn’t feel like Niall liked her back. He threw off so many different signals, it spun her mind around in circles. She didn’t know how to figure him out. All she knew was that she liked him, and that they were driving to the cabin together.

Someone knocked on her door. She didn’t have any more time for internal freakouts. Tessa took a deep breath and did what she did best – repressed everything until she had time to drink some wine and sort it out. She grabbed the straps of her duffel bag and opened the door. Niall was standing there, smiling down at her. “Hey, Tess.”

He nearly took her breath away. He was dressed in dark jeans and a neat, evergreen-colored, long-sleeved shirt. His hair was flat along the top of his head, with minimal styling. His eyes were shining. Niall was, quite honestly, the most beautiful man she had ever seen.

“Hey, Niall. Are you ready to go?”

“I should be asking you that,” he replied, amused, and pushed his hands down inside his pockets. “Are ya?”

“I am.” She smiled and pushed the door open further. “I’ve got my bag and everything.”

“Here, I’ll grab it for you.” Niall paused, holding his hand out – not trying to take her bag, but offering to carry it. She obliged him and handed him the straps. He blinked and adjusted his grip, feeling the weight of her bag. There was the distinct sound of glass clinking together, and his eyebrow shot up. “Is there alcohol in this bag, Miss?”

“Absolutely, Sir, for it is almost time to get lit. It will commence upon arrival.” Tessa replied with a formal air, and Niall burst out laughing. She smiled and stepped out of her apartment, shutting the door behind her and locking it, before setting her key inside her purse.

“This camping is sounding better and better.” Niall shook his head as he grinned like a child in a candy store. He then started off and led the way out of the building, choosing to take the stairs down rather than wait for the elevator. She didn’t mind, trotting along beside and slightly behind him – she was always cautious now walking down stairs, as she had been known to fall down them as a child.

“I prefer to call it glamping, myself.”

They walked out into the bright, but chilly Los Angeles morning. Tessa was grateful for the long-sleeved shirt she was wearing, since the wind had a bite to it, but Niall hardly blinked as he unlocked his Range Rover and popped the trunk, placing her luggage inside of it. He snapped it shut and then gestured towards the passenger seat. “After you, Tess.”

She clambered inside the car, feeling distinctly, for the first time, the acute difference in their lives. Yes, she made good money, but she was positive she couldn’t afford this car. Which was fine, because she dearly loved her own car, but still.

She knew he had money; he was a major popstar, of course, she would be blind not to see it in the little things (like the beautiful watch he wore, his shoes, etc.), but Niall never bragged. He was quite humble, actually. It was only in moments like this that she remembered that he was a step firmly above her financially.

This can only be as awkward as you let it be, Tessa reminded herself, so don’t. You’re not beneath him, in any way.

So, once more, she pushed it away and buckled herself before smiling gamely at the man sitting next to her in the driver’s side. “I’m glad you’re coming, Ni.” She had never used the nickname before, but it felt right.

Niall turned to face her and reached over and patted her on the knee before resting his hand lightly there. She felt her cheeks redden and bit down on her lip, but he merely squeezed her knee and murmured, “I’m glad too.”

He pulled his hand away and started the car; the engine rumbled on with a quiet purr, but Tessa was too busy gathering herself to comment on it. Niall plugged the address to the Big Sur Campground into his GPS and then smoothly reversed out of his parking space before pulling out of the lot and into the LA traffic. And thus, their trip began.

Tessa was silent for a few minutes, as she didn’t want to distract him – the traffic could be, and currently was, quite atrocious. But after a little while, Niall glanced over at her quickly and then back at the road. “Are ya comfortable? You’re awful quiet.”

“Oh! Yes, it’s really nice in here. I just didn’t want to distract you from driving.”

Niall chuckled. “Oh, the traffic doesn’t bother me. We’ll be out of here in no time.” Indeed, his fingers were loose on the steering wheel – there were no white knuckles, which she might have had if she were driving.

“How does this not bother you?” She asked, genuinely curious.

“If you think this is bad, you should see London’s traffic. I would say it’s a bit worse.”

“Damn.” She was impressed. “This is pretty shitty, too. And it’s only 12:15!”

“Well, it could be worse. We could be driving at five in the evening.”

After that, the nervous spell she had been under was broken, and they casually talked and laughed all the way out of LA. It only took about forty minutes.

“And now, five hours until we’re at the campground.” Tessa mentioned after glancing at the GPS on his phone, and then laughed.

“Want to listen to some music along the way? You choose.” Niall told her and gestured towards the stereo.

“I…don’t really listen to much music, really.”

Niall shot her an incredulous glance. “What the fuck? What do you mean you don’t listen to much music?”

Tessa made a face and shook her head. “I don’t spend a lot of time actively listening to it, I mean. I turn on the radio when I’m in the car, but besides that…”

“No Spotify or anything?”

She looked at him quickly. “If you’re worried about it, I’ve listened to all of your music, you know.”

Niall blushed, his cheeks going ruddy. “I…I wasn’t worried about that…I just…music is such an enjoyable experience, something everyone needs to relax or have fun with.”

Tessa couldn’t help it; she reached over and pinched his red cheek, making him scowl. “My favorite song is ‘You and Me’, by the way.”

His scowl softened. “Thanks,” Niall answered softly, his cheeks turning an even darker shade of red.

She could tell he was still a little embarrassed, and she was enjoying it, but she decided to lessen his suffering. “How about you play me some of your favorite songs, then?”

He cleared his throat and then nodded his head towards his cell phone. “Pull up Spotify, and you’ll see a Playlist titled ‘X’. Shuffle that one.”

Tessa did as she was instructed, and immediately a song by Fleetwood Mac popped up. She was familiar with the general tune of it but not the words, so she merely listened. Niall, however, immediately perked up and began to sing softly along, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. She found herself entranced by his voice, by him, and couldn’t stop herself from watching him.

Niall was aware of her gaze on him; she could tell by the little smile that was lifting up the corner of his lips just slightly. But he didn’t stop singing along, and so she didn’t stop watching him, her smile appearing to match his.

Eventually, a song turned on that she knew, so Tessa belted it out as loud as she possibly could – though she was pretty sure Niall was trying to be louder, judging by his cackle of delight – and even started dancing, shimmying her shoulders and generally making a fool of herself. Niall was singing along or trying to; he was laughing so hard she wasn’t sure how he could sing, much less drive.

It was the most fun five hours she had spent in years. So fun, in fact, that she was almost disappointed when they pulled in to the campground and parked by the check-in building. Tessa ran inside and grabbed the parking pass that was provided upon arrival for guests. They were in Cabin F, the last in the first loop of cabins. As they drove down the dirt lane towards their cabin, she could see that it was actually quite secluded – there were trees surrounding it almost entirely, and it was about fifty feet away from the closest cabin.

Two other cars were already parked in the driveway, and a wave of apprehension hit Tessa right in the gut. Jess and Lyrica were already here – as were Ryan and Melody. She had figured that they would arrive before her and Niall, but seeing that they had…yes, it was apprehension she felt. About Jess, none of the others.

Jess hadn’t even spoken to her recently, not even through the group chat that they had all made to keep updated about the trip. Tessa wasn’t stupid – she had posed a direct question to Jess only once, and when that had gone unanswered, she had stopped trying. And now she was about to go on a camping trip with her.

She was going to need a lot of wine to get through this trip. Luckily, she had anticipated that, and all of the wine needed was currently in her bag, plus some.

And, yes, there were some clothes in there too.

Niall parked behind the other two vehicles, and Tessa immediately hopped out. Niall quickly followed suit, and together they took their luggage out of the back of his car. Right as they began to make their way up to the cabin, the front door flew open and Melody rushed outside, Ryan hot on her heels.

“Tessa!” Melody squealed, charging down the stairs and launching herself towards Tessa. She wrapped her in a tight hug, squealing all the while. “We’ve been waiting for you guys! Hi!” The last word was directed towards Niall, who took the whole scene in with a smile. Ryan, still up on the deck, mouthed ‘drunk’ and pointed sharply at Melody. Tessa was already well aware – she could smell the tequila on Melody’s breath.

“Wow!” Tessa replied cheerily, giving Melody a quick squeeze back. “You have had some drinks today lady, haven’t you?”

She saw as Lyrica and Jess came out onto the deck with Ryan. Lyrica waved. Jess did not.

“Well, we’ve been waiting for hoouuurrrrsss for you and Niall! And it’s 5 o’ clock, you know. The drinking hour.”

Tessa laughed. Niall had already met her friends before at that house party Lyrica had thrown back in June, but she thought it might be helpful to introduce him now. “Melody, this is Niall. Niall, this is my friend from college, Melody.” She smiled, and Melody immediately straightened up and plastered her best ‘professional’ smile on.

“It’s lovely to see you again, Melody,” Niall replied formerly, before tossing in a wink. Melody giggled, covering her mouth.

“And up there is Ryan, and well, you know Lyrica and Jess.” Tessa continued to smile, trying her best not to allow any tension to radiate through.

Lyrica started walking down the steps from the deck, and Jess followed, her hand entwined with her girlfriend’s. “Tessa, I’m so glad to see you! And you too, Niall.” Lyrica grinned and came over to hug her, Jess staying a few feet back. “We’ve missed you.”

Really? Tessa asked herself, but she hugged Lyrica back, because she loved her like a sister, and Lyrica was definitely the more mellow of the three of them, the peacemaker, and it was evident that she was trying to fill that role just now.

“Hey, Jess,” Tessa added after a moment, making eye contact with her best friend over Lyr’s shoulder.

Jess smiled and gave a little finger wave. “Hey Tessa, Niall. Nice to see you.” And there it was. There was no warmth in her voice when she said her name, no affection, nothing. But there was no coldness, either; just plain indifference, like she was an acquaintance just met instead of a best friend with over a decade of strong history.

She looked good, though. And when her eyes landed on Lyrica, they sparked with happiness. And despite their current issues, Tessa didn’t begrudge her that.

“Well, let’s get this party started! Get on in here!” Ryan charged down the front steps and took both her bag and Niall’s, grinning widely. “Niall, I hope you don’t mind man, but you and I will be bunking in the same room. Separate beds, of course. Tessa and Melody are sharing too, and obviously, our resident lovebirds have a room together too.” He gestured towards Lyr and Jess.

Tessa, of course, had already warned Niall of this, so he took it all in stride. He reached over and clapped Ryan heartily on the back. “Sounds good mate. Lead on.”

Ryan led the way inside. They entered into a living room, which had a small TV and a couch with some armchairs situated next to it. Just past the living room was the dining room table, already covered with wine and beer and all sorts of other alcoholic beverages. To the left of that room, and out of sight, was the kitchen. Two hallways led from the living room, and Ryan took the one on the left side. At the end were two doors right across from each other, and he deposited their bags outside their respective rooms. He then whirled around and clapped his hands together before rubbing them together. “Tessa, I’m assuming you brought some goodies for us?”

She smirked, and crouched down beside her bag, unzipping it in one fluid motion. Nestled inside were two bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila, and another of vodka. And beneath that, obviously, were her clothes, but no one cared about that.

Melody cheered, reached down into the bag and grabbing the wine. “Our Queen Tessa has brought us gifts!” She called and danced her way towards the dining room table down the hallway, which held all of the other alcohol that was brought.

Niall shook his head, looking both amused and delighted. “You got some good shit, Tess.” He reached down and grabbed the tequila, looking over it and turning it in his hands.

She grabbed the remaining bottle of vodka and lifted it high in the air, a queen ready to knight her warriors.

Niall looked at her steadily, waiting for her to speak.

She smiled. “It is time to get lit.”

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taglist: @angryniall @stylishmuser @confusedkiwifan @irish-nlessing@takemedancingmaine @hap-ppy-days-van-ish-ed @stayclose-holdsteady @playboyxniall @savvyflowers @day-dream-niall@awomanindeniall @militrybarbi @klairelavarias

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Updated Updated Masterlist

I should just link this in my bio or something and then update as needed. But that would be smart or something. Anyway.

Tom Holland

Sick Day- The reader is sick; Tom takes care of her. Fluff.

Officially Untitled, Unofficially titled I Almost Posted This On My Main Blog - Reader has a terrible day at work; Tom cheers her up. Fluff.

Tom Holland Hair Watch 2017 - When Tom makes a concerning tweet about his hair, the reader visits him on set to see what's up. FLUFF.

Waiting - The reader is waiting on her doctor's office to call with some test results. Fluff again.

Chilly Nights - Reader and Tom are hanging out on the couch; the reader is cold.

Tonight, I'll Need You to Stay (Part 1) - Tom helps the reader escape an abusive relationship. Domestic abuse, swearing, angst.

Tonight, I'll Need You to Stay (part 2) - Tom helps the reader move on from her abusive relationship. Smut

Love Will Come to You - The reader is Tom's new co-star; she keeps falling in love with the wrong guys and Tom can't stand to watch it.

If I Take My Heart's Advice - The reader is torn between her current boyfriend Aiden and her ex, Tom.

I give you peace when peace is fragile - Tom catches the reader self-harming herself. Warnings: self-harm, blood, angst.

Drunken Confession Night - Movie Night with Harrison and the three eldest Hollands always devolves into Drunken Confession Night. This time, though, Tom drops a bomb.

Things That Go Bump - Tom and the reader are in bed talking about ghosts; they hear strange noises and go investigate.

Tom After Dentist - Tom gets his wisdom tooth pulled and has some interesting things to say, especially to his girlfriend of a couple of months.

Third Time's a Charm - After Tom (allegedly) breaks his nose a third time, the reader makes another trailer visit.

You Should Be Here - The reader passes away; Tom tries to figure out how to go on. Angst.

Tom Dating an Older Woman - A headcanon about Tom dating an older woman.

Love in the Apocalypse - The reader is on meds for a cough that make her have crazy dreams...about Tom and the zombie apocalypse.

Can't Not Be With You - The reader tries to seduce Tom while drunk; he refuses to take advantage of her.

Holland Family Ski Trip - Tom teaches the reader how to ski while the family visits Sam in France.

Small bump - Tom wants kids. You don't. Now what?

Sod Off, Valentine's Day - You have a cold. And your period. On Valentine's Day.

Golden Dreams - AU in which you and your ice dancing partner Tom go to the Olympics. You'd never considered falling in love with him...or have you?

battered fighters - You and Tom have a nasty argument. He tries to make it up to you

‘close your eyes before the sleep’ - Tom’s girlfriend is working on her thesis for her masters’ degree; Tom wants nothing more than to give her a break.

This blurb I wrote that doesn’t have an official title - Tom wants to celebrate your anniversary by playing a song for you - but the only instrument he has handy? A kazoo.

Share a Coke - Soulmate!Au. When you turn 18, you get the chance to meet your soulmate. You’ll know when the day a Coke can with their name on it shows up in your fridge. Tom wonders if he’ll ever find his... until a can with your name on it appears.

Harrison Osterfield

Harrison Potter - Harrison comes home from Milan with a baseball cap and a secret.

"I could stay here all day" - Blurb based on a tweet from Harrison about wanting to stay in bed all day.

"Can it stop snowing plz" - Blurb about staying at Harrison's during a snowstorm

take a chance - Movie night with roommate Haz turns into something both of you have dreamed about. Smut.

Don't Move - Harrison wants the reader to be more assertive during sex. SMUT.

“y tho” - Harrison is sick with a terrible cold; fortunately, you’re a really good nurse.

‘loving can hurt sometimes’ - The reader and Harrison fight over comments made about her on his Instagram.

Golfing with Harrison - a blurb about Harrison teaching you how to golf, and Third Wheel Tom insisting on keeping score.

The First Time - the reader loses her virginity to Harrison. Smut.

Marry Me - Harrison is invited to his best friend’s wedding; she has no idea he’s in love with her. Based on the song “Marry Me” by Thomas Rhett; written for a writing challenge @upsidedownparker hosted.

Be Alright - Based on the song “Be Alright” by Dean Lewis. Tom and (eventually) the reader help Harrison put the pieces of his broken heart back together.

Your Guide to the Afterlife - The reader dies. Harrison is her guide to the next step in her eternal journey.

The Hand Fic - Harrison knows how to use his hands. SMUT

Roommate AU

Roomies - AU in which the reader goes on a bad date, watches Cheers, and realizes she may be falling for her roommate Tom.

'I need a favor' - Tom asks the reader, his roommate, for a (pretty big) favor.

The Cure for a Broken Heart - After getting dumped, your roommates Tom and Harrison help console you. But who knew that the cure for a broken heart was already under your own roof?

Headcanons/General AU

Road Trips with Tom - A headcanon about what a road trip with Tom would be like.

Tom Dating a Famous Writer - Headcanon about Tom dating a famous writer.

Tom Caring for Your Baby Daughter - Headcanon about Tom taking care of your baby daughter.

Headcanon about an ER trip - A headcanon inspired by my recent trip to the ER.

Headcanon about Nurse Tom - in which the patient, under sedation, tells him to "fight me"

Four Days - Four days in the life of a keyholder at a small-town store, who flirts with a cute fireman named Tom.

- 'I think i wanna marry you' - Five boys (Tom, Harrison, Harry, Sam, and Jacob) and the moment they knew they wanted to marry you.

'Baby, just say yes' - Five boys, five proposals. A companion piece to 'I think i wanna marry you'.

‘marry me, today and every day’ - Five boys, five weddings.

Royal!AU

Royal Minder - a headcanon about the reader being the royal minder for bratty Prince Tom.

The Princess of Starbucks (Royal!Reader/Barista!Tom) - Bored with palace life, the reader - princess of a small country - sneaks into town for a day of anonymity. While at the coffee shop, she meets the most beautiful boy she's ever seen working the counter.

Peter Parker

Personal Space - You're trying to study, but keep getting distracted by one Peter Parker.

Stop Staring at Me! - The reader has a crush on Peter. Ned knows something she doesn't.

Prom Night - The reader is up for prom queen. She's dating Flash Thompson but has a crush on Peter Parker; both boys are running for Prom King.

Dive - The reader asks Peter to pose as her boyfriend to make Flash, her ex, jealous.

First Kiss with Peter - a headcanon about your first kiss with Peter.

You need a blue sky holiday - You had a bad day. Peter vows to turn it around.

First Time Peter Says He Loves You - a headcanon about the first time Peter says those three little words.

Jacket - “Take my jacket, it’s cold.” Written for a writing challenge.

Someone Else’s Star - All the reader wants is to be in love. But is she wishing on someone else’s star? Inspired by Bryan White’s song “Someone Else’s Star.”

This blurb I wrote about a rainy day - It’s a blurb about a rainy day. 

Candygram - The reader hates Valentine’s Day. But will Peter give her a reason not to?

Annabelle’s Homework -  Peter is so in love with Annabelle Stephens, he thinks nothing of doing her homework for her. The reader is upset by this. Mostly because Annabelle isn’t in love with Peter… she is. Inspired by Alec Benjamin’s song “Annabelle’s Homework.”

Boyband!AU

The Boys in the Band - The four Holland brothers and Harrison are in a boy band. All of them (minus Paddy) are fighting for the reader's affections.

Too Much to Ask - Sam Holland meets the girl of his dreams, has his heart broken, and deals with the aftermath. Inspired by Niall Horan's "Too Much to Ask."

Miscellaneous

Trois - Tom, Haz, threesome. That’s all you really need to know.

Hazza - The infamous Harry/Harrison threesome fic. Smut.

Harry Holland

Harry's New Glasses - Harry is self-conscious about his new glasses; his girlfriend, the reader, thinks they're hot.

3:30something - It's 3:30 am and the reader can't sleep; Harry does his best to help.

Here For You - Harry is there after the reader’s grandfather dies.

Finals Week - Harry helps the reader de-stress while preparing for finals.

The Bench - you seek solace in the bench at your favorite pond when you and Harry have your worst fight yet.

Sam Holland (note: I do not write for Sam anymore)

Steady Rain - Sam comforts the reader during a thunderstorm.

Jacob Batalon

I Hate Christmas Parties - Jacob plans to tell Laura he's in love with her at Zendaya's Christmas party. When she arrives with another man, he's devastated - until he finds someone who's as miserable as he is.

Love is Christmas - Jacob and the reader, who met at Zendaya's Christmas party, have a cookie-baking and holiday movie date. (This one got approximately zero notes but I liked it so read it, ok?

A still-untitled prompt request - Jacob and the reader make love in front of the fireplace on Christmas Eve. NSFW.

Baseball!AU

No-Hitter - Pitcher Sam Holland goes for his first career no-hitter.

Heart and Hustle - Tom, standout high school third baseman, plays in the championship game.

After Practice - After a tough practice, minor league first baseman Harrison needs a release. Smut.

Ned Leeds

Actual Mom Friend Ned Leeds - A headcanon about everyone's favorite Guy in the Chair.

Salamander - Ned befriends the new girl in school. But she has a secret.

Single Dad!AU

The Recital - Single Dad and CEO Tom Holland tries desperately to make it to his five-year-old daughter Lily’s first dance recital on time.

Guilt Trips and Sundaes - Tom feels bad about yelling at Lily, so he takes her out for ice cream. They run into a friend of Lily’s from school... and her single mom.

Sweet Pea - Single dad Harry Holland gets upset at his daughter Eleanor.

Past Curfew - Architect Harrison Osterfield is worried when his teenage son Evan misses curfew.

Double Trouble - Music professor Sam Holland, under lots of stress, snaps at his twin daughters Rose and Iris.

Spiderling - Peter Parker gets upset at his daughter Julia. 

Stray Kids

Just a Tiny Fire - Pairing: Han Jisung/Reader

The reader has been stressed out at work, so their best friend Jisung tries to help...but causes a minor calamity instead.

Untitled Han Jisung Fic - Han Jisung/Female Reader

Jisung and the reader celebrate their one-year anniversary. Smut, fluff, the other 7 are total doofuses (and Changbin may or may not be channeling a frat boy, I haven’t decided yet).

This Seat Taken? - Seo Changbin/Female Reader

The reader finds herself falling in love with her best friend, Changbin.

Series

The Tea Shop Girl - Pairing: Harrison Osterfield/Reader

Harrison Osterfield falls for the girl that runs the tea shop down the street.

In Charge - Pairing: Accountant!Tom Holland/CEO!Female Reader

The reader, CEO of her own company, has an “arrangement” with Tom, one of her new accountants.

Spy vs. Spy - Pairing: Spy!Harrison Osterfield/Spy!Female Reader

Harrison Osterfield, one of Britain’s top spies, keeps getting thrown into missions with rival spy (y/n). Can they work together without killing each other? Or will something more develop?

Win-Win - Pairing: Female Reader/Tom Holland

Temporarily homeless, the reader needs a place to stay. Her friend Tom, who has a reputation for being a womanizer, has an extra room… and an idea.

Blood in the Water - Pairing: Female Reader/Mob!Harrison Osterfield

Harrison Osterfield is the most feared man in Kingston and leader of one of Britain’s most notorious mobs. How far will he go to protect the ones he loves?

As always, I accept requests! I mostly write Tom Holland, as you can tell. But I will write Harrison or any of the Hollands (not Paddy - I’ll include him in a fic but I won’t write one about him). I’ll write Peter Parker too. 

[honeyhesharrystyles]

THE NUT CASE    |      CHAPTER 1     |    GUILTY UNTIL PROVEN INNOCENT

+ D E T E C T I V E   H A R R Y    S T Y L E S

Cold.  That's all I felt as I trudged through the snow that covered the ground  in front of my house. The sound of my phone ringing is what was heard  through the quiet of the night. It's been ringing all day, pissing me  off more and more. I inhaled a slow breath, and exhaled, the cold air  instantly making it look like a cloud of smoke. Snatching my phone out  of my pocket, I opened the door to my car and snapped into the phone  with a voice like venom, "Styles."

"H-Harry?" a small voice whispered.

My brows furrowed, the bitterness in my voice quickly being replaced with concern. "Gem?"

When  I turned my car on, the soft voice of Billy Joel began coming out of  the radio and I shut my door, hopefully stopping the cold from making my  nose and cheeks any redder.

"Harry... J-Jake... H-He's... He's not getting any better. S-so.. they took him. Harry, they took him."

I sighed sadly for Jake, my once strong and happy brother in law. "Where Gem? Where did they take him?"

"Orange  County's Mental Hospital. I-I'm... I'm here now, but they won't let me  see him harry and I-" she let out a loud sob, not able to finish her  sentence.

"Okay, Okay, listen Gem. I'm on my way just- Just stay there alright. I'm sure they'd let us in if I speak with them."

Plugging  the keys in the ignition, I turned the car on and was slightly calmed  by the soft purr of my engine. Backing out of my drive way was pretty  hard to do at night and I cringed as I heard the sound of a trash can  hitting the ground. Ignoring it and telling myself Maria would pick it  up when she came over, I finally backed out of my driveway and drove  off, listening to the sound of my older sister's heart shattering over  and over again the longer she waited for news on her husband.

+

"Harry?"  was the first thing I heard as I stepped through the doors of the  hospital. And then came the trembling arms that wrapped themselves  around my neck.

I rubbed my sisters back, whispering calming things into her ear.

She  pulled away and sniffled, watching me with watery eyes. "They took him  about 2 hours ago and- and i've been begging the lady upfront to let me  see him but she's been ignoring me and I don't know what to do Harry,  I-"

"Okay shhh. Let me handle this."

My boots clicked   against the ground as I walked up to the lady, smirking as her blue eyes  met my green ones and she visibly tensed up as I got closer. "Excuse   me, Miss? My older sister an I would really like to see someone very   close to us. Is it possible you can give me his room number?"

She gulped. "U-Uh, I... S-Sure... What would h-his name be?"

"Jake  Bryan." Her red nails tapped against the keyboard quickly as she  searched the computer for Jake. I noticed the way she kept looking up at  me and the way she'd blush when I caught her looking. She was cute. I  don't understand how someone like her could give anybody a hard time.  "U-um... I'm sorry sir but Jake Bryan has been announced unstable and  isn't allowed any v-visitors until-" She squinted at the screen and  pursed her lips. "Until December 30th."

Behind me, I could hear Gemma's sharp intake of breath. I knew it would be a matter of time   before the sobbing started up again and the thing i hate most in this   fucked up world is seeing my older sister cry.

I smiled back at  the woman, putting on my most charming smile I used mostly on female   witnesses who don't want to confess. "Listen. We really need to see   someone very important to us. Would you please let us through? We'll be in and out. I promise."

She stared at me for a second longer,  finally agreeing after I bit my lip nervously. I did a small victory  cheer as she walked in the back room to grab a key for Jake's room. A  small scoff came from my right and I looked down to see my sister  staring at me in disbelief. "How the hell??"

I laughed quietly  as the nurse walked back into the room, flicking her wrist as a gesture   for us to follow her. Walking through the halls of a Mental Hospital   should freak me out but it didn't. I've been through way to many cases   that are far worse than the things happening here. From mutilated bodies  to the remains of someone who has been set on fire. But walking through  these halls still make me feel for the souls that lost their way.

"Okay."  The nurse said, stopping in front of a door that read 'ROOM 310' in bold  letters. "He's in here. But if someone comes by and you guys get in  trouble, it's your fault." She snapped. We nodded and she turned the  lock. The click of the lock sounded and signaled us that the door was  open as the nurse nodded at us and walked away, leaving us to see Jake  ourselves.

When we walked in, Gem and I expected the worst, but  instead we found Jake sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. It  snapped up instantly at the sound of Gemma's shaking voice. "Jake?? Oh  my god.."

Gem ran towards him as the two embraced, both holding  on each other for dear life as I strode over to the bed and stood  against the bed frame.

"Gemma..." Jake sighed into her shoulder.  She pulled away, allowing him to speak clearly. "I-I'm sorry babe I  just... I keep hearing the explosions a-and the screams- Oh my god  Gemma, the fucking screams. They sound so painful." A lone tear slid  down Jake's face, dripping off of his chin and splashing onto the gown  that the hospital gave him. "A-And it hurts so fucking bad to know  that... I could have saved them. B-But I was weak- I let them die Gemma,  it's my fault-"

She shook her head, pulling him back into her  chest, crying with him. "No baby, it's not. You tried your best. You did  what you could."

I frowned and immediately felt like I was  intruding on a personal moment so I quietly excused my self from the  room and left the two of them to sort things out. I shut the door with a  soft click and walked down those halls again with a heavy heart. Seeing  Jake like that is so weird to me. He was strong. He was okay. But now  he's broken. Jumping at even the smallest thud. As I passed the desk of  the lady from earlier, I heard her snapping at someone. I guess I was  wrong about her not being able to hurt someone.

Chuckling at my  little revelation, I sat down in a seat in the lobby, waiting for Gemma  to come out with news. My phone buzzed in my pocked for the millionth  time and I finally gave in, picking it up and answering it.

"Styles!" I snapped.

"Harry, where the hell have you been all day?" Niall, my best friend, asked.

"Is that any of your damn business?" I said, rolling my eyes.

He laughed. Of course he laughed.

"Guess not. But hey, guess what?"

"What Niall. What can possibly be so important that you've called me 400 times today?"

"Well. Chief Liam found out about you and Pam."

"WHAT?"  I sneered. Pam is one of my co-workers. She's annoying, she's loud and  she's rude. But she's a good fuck, and we'd been going at it in my  office almost every chance we got.

"Yep." He said popping the P.  My anger began to fuel up even more as I heard Niall crunching on some  crisps, rather loudly might I add, in my fucking ear. "I came into the  station today and saw him yelling at her. When he got finished, I went  up to her to ask her what happened, and she just spilled everything.  Apparently, the station camera's caught you outside of your office."

"Fucking  hell. I thought I was careful. Shit, Liam's going to kill me." I told  him, pinching the bridge of my nose. "Alright, when I get back, we have  to-" I was cut off as a woman sat in the row of seats across me. "Uh,   Niall... I'm gonna call you back." I told him, hanging up before he   could reply.

She was short and very small. Her hair was long and  ginger. The red veins in the white of her eyes and the bags under them  told me that she wasn't getting any sleep. And her pale skin also told  me that she didn't go out much. The cuts and bruises on her lips told me  that she bit them a lot, maybe out of nervous habit? And the white  scrubs she had on told me she was a patient.

It took me a while   before I realized who she was. Everybody at the station talked about her  a lot, and there was even talk about her case re-opening and one of us  being assigned to it.

"Hello..." I said slowly, studying her, my fingers twitching as if automatically wanting to reach for my gun.

"Hi." She whispered, staring right at me.

"Can I help you?"

"Why do people always ask that?" She said, tilting her head at me.

I gulped and cleared my throat. "What-"

"Why do people always say 'Can I help you', when they know that they have no intentions of helping anyone but themselves."

I stared at her weirdly and looked around, searching for a nurse, then darting my eyes back to her. "I'm... I'm not sure."

"Well if you're not sure, then why'd you say it silly?"

I looked down at my watch, then back at the corridor where my sister was. "Um, I have to go-"

"Wait!"  she exclaimed, making me jump as I stared down at her with my knees  bent, about to stand up. "I'm.. I'm sorry if that was weird, I just....  I'm not good at this."

I sat back down in my seat, straightening up and clearing my throat again. "Good at what?"

"Talking.  I mean, I don't really get out much because of the rules here. They're  so strict, you know? And it's hard because I've been stuck inside  these walls for 13 years and I'm becoming very claustrophobic. What's  changed out there? Did they finally finish that amusement park they were  opening downtown? What about milkshakes, do milkshakes still exist?  God, what i'd do for a chocolate and fudge mil-"

"You're rambling." I told her, stifling my smirk as I saw her blush and drop her head.

"Sorry, I-"

"Scarlett  Rose!" Someone called, making us both look away and over at an older  woman rushing towards us. Scarlett stood up quickly, looking down at the   floor with guilt written all over her features. "What are you doing out of your room? You know you're not allowed!"

She flicked her  head up, her fiery orange hair flicking out of her face at the gesture.  "I'm sorry nurse Matthews. But I got bored-"

"Yeah, but you  could get us BOTH in trouble for being out here." The nurse then glanced  over at me, smiling softly. "I'm sorry if she caused you any trouble."

I  nodded once, watching her drag Scarlett away. I watched as she looked  back over her shoulder, green connecting with brown for a moment as she  disappeared behind the double doors that led to that corridor and left. I  looked back down in my hand, after feeling my phone vibrate as a text  from Pam came through.

But I didn't get the chance to read it  because when I looked up, I saw Gemma coming from the hall, a small  happy smile on her face. I forgot about the text from Pam and addressed  my tear free sister.

"So?" I asked.

"He says he's okay  for now. They're feeding him properly and he's soon going to get scrubs   too. He also introduced me to his nurse, Ronnie. Ronnie told me that for  now, I can only make hour calls to him but in a month or so, I'll be   able to visit him regularly." She told me with her eyes shining.

I smiled widely. "That's great Gem."

Gemma  and I walked out together, the cold hitting us and making us pull our  coats tighter against our body for warmth. As I walked towards my car,  Gem spoke again. "Uh Harry? Is it alright if you drop me off at my  house? I took the bus here."

I nodded and gestured for her to  get in. When we got in the car, I turned the heater on and shut the  door, blowing into my hands to warm them up.

Gemma and I sat in   silence as both of us got lost in our thoughts. I should have been   thinking about chief liam finding out about Pam and I's secret affair,   or the fact that I still need to buy a new laptop after the coffee   incident yesterday, or even that fucking trash bin I knocked over   tonight but the only thing that was plaguing my mind at the moment was �� the rambling ginger, and her innocent brown eyes.

[carolinabronova]

Songs.

30 Seconds To Mars The Kill (Burry Me)

99 Souls The Girl Is Mine (ft. Destiny’s Child)

ABBA Lay All Your Love On Me

Adam Lambert Fever If I Had You

Adele Chasing Pavements Rolling In The Deep Send My Love Someone Like You When We Were Young

A-ha Take On Me

Akon Don’t Matter I Wanna Love You (ft. Snoop Dogg)

Alicia Keys If I Ain’t Got You No One

All Angels The Scientist

Ana Carolina É Isso Aí (ft. Seu Jorge)

Angus & Julia Stone A Heartbreak Big Jet Plane Big Jet Plane (Acoustic) Draw Your Swords Just A Boy Paper Aeroplane Yellow Brick Road

A Perfect Circle Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Rhythm Of The War Drums

Arctic Monkeys 505 Brianstorm Do I Wanna Know? Fluorescent Adolescent I Wanna Be Yours One For The Road R U Mine? Stop The World Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?

Aretha Franklin Say A Little Prayer

Ariana & The Rose In Your Bed (Kevin Drew Remix)

Ariana Grande Almost Is Never Enough Bad Decisions Be Alright Be My Baby Best Mistake Dangerous Woman Everyday (ft. Future) Greedy Into You Jason’s Song (Gave It Away) One Last Time Right There (ft. Big Sean) Side To Side Sometimes

Athlete Rubik’s Cube

Austin Manuel I Just Want You To Love Me

Backstreet Boys If You Want It To Be Good Girl (Get Yourself A Bad Boy) I Want It That Way

Banks Drowning

Bee Gees How Deep Is Your Love More Than A Woman Too Much Heaven Tragedy

Ben E. King Stand By Me

Beyoncé 7/11 Baby Boy (ft. Sean Paul) Best Thing I Never Had Blow Countdown Drunk In Love Ego Formation Hold Up Love On Top Partition Sandcastles Sorry

Biel Demorô

Black Keys Howlin’ For You

Blue Öyster Cult Burnin’ For You (Don’t Fear) The Reaper

BoA Eat You Up

B.o.B So Good

Bon Iver Creature Fear Perth

Bonnie Raitt Can’t Make You Love Me

Bonnie Tyler Total Eclipse Of The Heart

Breaking Benjamin I Will Not Bow

Bright Eyes First Day Of My Life

Britney Spears 3

Bruce Springsteen Dancing In The Dark

Bruno Mars 24k Magic Calling All My Lovelies Chunky Gorilla (ft. Pharell Williams and R.Kelly) Locked Out Of Heaven Talking To The Moon That’s What I Like Treasure When I Was Your Man

Bryan Adams Heaven

Calvin Harris Feels (ft. Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry and Big Sean) This Is What You Came For (ft. Rihanna)

Camila Cabello Havana (ft. Young Thug)

Captain & Tennille Love Will Keep Us Together

Carly Rae Jepsen Run Away With Me Your Type

Cary Brothers Loneliest Girl In The World

Cash Cash Overtime

Charlie Brown Jr. Me Encontra

Charlie Puth Attention How Long Marvin Gaye (ft. Meghan Trainor)

Charli XCX Boys

Cheat Codes Let Me Hold You

Chet Baker My Funny Valentine

Chris Brown Liquor Show Me (ft. Kid Ink) Strip Take You Down

Christina Grimmie Must Be Love

Christina Perri distance

Chromeo Come Alive (ft. Toro Y Moi)

Ciara Body Party

City And Colour The Girl

Claudinho & Bochecha Fico Assim Sem Você Quero Te Encontrar

Clean Bandit Tears (ft. Louisa Johnson)

Coldplay Charlie Brown Hymn For The Weekend (ft. Beyoncé) Swallowed In The Sea Violet Hills Viva La Vida

Colbie Caillat Bubbly

Counting Crows Accidentally In Love

Cyndi Lauper Girls Just Wanna Have Fun Time After Time

Daft Punk Around The World Digital Love Harder Better Faster Stronger Lose Yourself To Dance One More Time Something About Us Technologic

Damien Rice 9 Crimes Delicate Rootless Tree The Blower’s Daughter

Danni Carlos Coisas Que Eu Sei

Daughter Landfill Medicine Run Touch

David Guetta Bad (ft. Vassy)

Dawin Dessert (ft. Silento)

Demi Lovato Sorry Not Sorry Stone Cold

Destiny’s Child Bills, Bills, Bills Bootylicious Independent Women Say My Name

Disclosure Latch (ft. Sam Smith)

DJ Snake Leon On (ft. MØ and Major Lazer) Middle

DNCE Cake By The Ocean

Drake Fake Love Hold On We’re Going Home How About Now Marvin’s Room One Dance Passionfruit Too Good (ft. Rihanna)

Dua Lipa New Rules

Duke Dumont Ocean Drive

Earth, Wind & Fire After The Love Has Gone Boogie Wonderland Fantasy Let’s Groove September

Eden Project drowning.

Ed Sheeran Cold Coffee Drunk Give Me Love Grade 8 I’m A Mess Kiss Me Little Bird One Night She Small Bump U.N.I The Man Wake Me Up

Ellie Goulding Love Me Like You Do On My Mind

Elvis Presley Can’t Help Falling In Love Suspicious Minds (You’re The) Devil In Disguise

Erasure A Little Respect

Escape The Fate Zombie Dance

Etha Franklin At Last

Evanescence My Immortal

Fetty Wap 679 (ft. Remy Boyz) Again My Way (ft. Monty) Trap Queen

Fifth Harmony All In My Head (Flex) (ft. Fetty Wap)

Flight Facilities Crave You Crave You (Adventure Club Remix)

Florence + The Machine Cosmic Love Caught Drumming Song Never Let Me Go Seven Devils

Flo Rida I Cry

Francoise Hardy Voila

Frank Sinatra Fly Me To The Moon If I Had You Moon River

Gabrielle Aplin Home Please Don’t Say You Love Me Start Of Time

G-Eazy F**k With U (ft. Pia Mia) Lady Killers (ft. Hoodie Allen)

George Martin Pepperland - Remastered

Gilberto Girl Vamos Fugir (Gimme Your Love)

Glen Hansard All The Way Down Falling Slowly Lies Say It To Me Now

Grayscale Palette

Gym Class Heroes Cupid’s Chokehold

Halsey Gasoline

Hozier Someone New Take Me To Church

Hudson Thames How I Want Ya

Hurts Illuminated Somebody To Die For Stay Unspoken

Ingrid Michaelson Can’t Help Falling In Love You And I

Iron & Wine Flightless Bird, American Mouth

Israel Novaes Vem Ni Mim Dodge Ram

Ivete Sangalo Quando A Chuva Passar Se Eu Não Te Amasse Tanto Assim

James Blunt You’re Beautiful

Jammil Praieiro

Jeff Buckley Hallelujah

Jeremih oui

João Bosco E Vinícius Chora Me Liga

Joe Walsh Turn To Stone

John Mayer Free Fallin’ Gravity Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

Johnny Cash Hurt

JoJo Beautiful Girls

Jon Secada If I Never Knew You (ft. Shanice)

Jordan Fisher All About Us

Jorge Vercilo Que Nem Maré

Jota Quest Blecaute (ft. Anitta and Nite Rodgers)

Justin Timberlake My Love (ft. T.I) Summer Love

Kanye West Bound 2 Power

Kate Nash Nicest Thing

Katy Perry Birthday

Kendrick Lamar DNA King Kunta Loyalty (ft. Rihanna) Poetic Justice (ft. Drake)

Kid Abelha Como Eu Quero

Kina Grannis Valentine

Kings Of Leon Pyro Sex On Fire

Kodaline All I Want

Kyle Edwards Starboy (Harder Better Faster Stronger Jersey Club)

Labrinth Jealous

Lady Gaga Bad Romance Do What U Want (ft. R.Kelly) Edge Of Glory G.U.Y Just Dance Marry The Night Million Reasons Monster Perfect Illusion Speechless The Cure You & I

Lana Del Rey Born To Die Dark Paradise Freak High By The Beach Love Religion Ridin’ (ft. A$AP Rocky) Sad Girl Serial Killer Video Games West Coast Young And Beautiful

Lauren Aquilina Wonder

Leonard Cohen Hallelujah

Leona Lewis Bleeding Love

Lil Dicky Lemme Freak

Lil Wayne 6 Foot 7 Foot

Linda Ronstadt I Will Always Love You

Lionel Richie Just Go (ft. Akon)

Lissie Everywhere I Go

Little Big Town Girl Crush

Los Hermanos Anna Julia

LS Jack Ô Carla

Lulu Santos Como Uma Onda Sereia

Lykke Li I Follow Rivers Until We Bleed

M83 My Tears Are Becoming A Sea

Madonna Material Girl

Maiara & Maraisa Medo Bobo

Mariah Carey #Beautiful (ft. Miguel) Emotions Obsessed Touch My Body We Belong Together

Marianas Trench Haven’t Had Enough

Marina & The Diamonds How To Be A Heartbreaker Oh No! Primadonna Teen Idle

Marisa Monte Depois

Maroon 5 Feelings Makes Me Wonder Stutter What Lovers Do

Marvin Gaye Sexual Healing

Maskavo Um Anjo Do Céu

Matthew Perryman Jones Only You

MC G15 Deu Onda

MC Leozinho Se Ela Dança, Eu Danço

MC Marcinho Glamurosa

Michael Sembello Maniac

Miguel Adorn coffee Simple Things Sure Thing

Mike Posner Cooler Than Me I Took A Pill In Ibiza Looks Like Sex

Miley Cyrus 23 (ft. Mike Will Made It, Wiz Khalifa and Juicy J) Wrecking Ball

MKTO Classic

MØ Fire Rides - Night Version

Mumford And Sons Little Lion Man Sigh No More White Blank Page

Muse Neutron Star Collision Plug In Baby Resistance Starlight Supermassive Black Hole Undisclosed Desires

My Chemical Romance Helena (So Long & Goodnight) I Don’t Love You The Light Behind Your Eyes

Natalie La Rose Somebody (ft. Jeremih)

Natiruts Me Namora

Nelly Dilemma (ft. Kelly Rowland)

Neon Trees Animal Everybody Talks Mad Love

Ne-yo Closer

NF Got You On My Mind

Niall Horan Slow Hands

Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds O Children

Nick Jonas Jealous Teacher Wilderness

Nigahiga Bromance (ft. Chester See) Nice Guys (ft. Chester See and KevJumba)

Ninja Sex Party FYI I Wanna F Your A Peppermint Creams Sex Training The Decision

Oasis Wonderwall

Olivver The Kid Attica ‘71

Olly Murs Dance With Me Tonight Kiss Me

Omarion Post To Be (ft. Chris Brown and Jhené Aiko)

One Direction Fireproof Happily Night Changes No Control Perfect Stockholm Sydrome Strong You & I

Outkast Hey Ya!

Panic! At The Disco Death Of A Bachelor Nine In The Afternoon

Papas Da Língua Eu Sei

Paramore Ain’t It Fun Misery Business Still Into You

Passanger Let Her Go

Paula Fernandes Não Precisa (ft. Victor e Leo)

P.Diddy Last Night (ft. Keyshia Cole)

Pentatonix Can’t Sleep Love Fantasy I Need Your Love La La Latch Love Again Natural Disaster

Pink F*cking Perfect Please Don’t Leave Me Sober So What Who Knew

Player Baby Come Back

Post Malone Rockstar

Psirico Lepo Lepo

R5 Dark Side

Rae Sremmurd Black Beatles

Raleigh Ritchie Bloodsport

Redfoo New Thang

Rich Homie Quan Flex (Ooh, ooh, ooh)

Richie Campbell Do You No Wrong

Rihanna Can’t Remember To Forget You (ft. Shakira) Don’t Stop The Music FourFiveSeconds (ft. Kanye West and Paul McCartney) Love On The Brain Needed Me Russian Roulette Te Amo Unfaithful Where Have You Been Wild Thoughts (ft. DJ Khaled and Bryson Tiller)

Rise Against Savior

Roberta Campos Minha Felicidade

Robin Thicke Get Her Back

Robot Koch Nitesky (ft. John Lamonica)

Ryan Adams Wonderwall

Sam Smith Nirvana Palace

Sarah Jaffe Clementine

Scorpions Rock You Like A Hurricane

Scott Bradlee’s Postmodern Jukebox Stacy’s Mom

Scouting For Girls Heartbeat

Seal Kiss From A Rose

Selena Gomez Bad Liar Fetish (ft. Gucci Mane) Good For You Hands To Myself Perfect Wolves (ft. Marshmellow)

Seu Jorge Carolina Mina Do Condomínio

Shania Twain From This Moment On Man! I Feel Like A Woman You’re Still The One

Shawn Mendes There’s Nothing Holding Me Back

Shura Touch (Canvas Remix)

Sia Cheap Thrills Elastic Heart

Simon & Garfunkel Bridge Over Troubled Water

Skank Ainda Gosto Dela Tão Seu Vamos Fugir Vou Deixar

Sleeping At Last As Long As You Love Me Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic Venus

Snoop Dogg Sensual Seduction

Stevie Nicks Edge Of Seventeen

Stevie Wonder Isn’t She Lovely

Story Of The Year Until The Day I Die

Talking Heads Psycho Killers

Taylor Swift Blank Space Love Story Safe And Sound (ft. The Civil Wars) Style Wildest Dreams

Tears For Fears Everybody Wants To Rule The World

The 1975 Chocolate FallingForYou Somebody Else UGH! The Sound

The Archies Sugar, Sugar

The Barr Brothers May 4th

The Bird And The Bee How Deep Is Your Love

The Black Eyed Peas Meet Me Halfway

The Black Keys Howlin’ For You

The Beach Boys Good Vibrations Wouldn’t It Be Nice

The Beatles Hey Jude Yesterday

The Black Eyed Peas Meet Me Halfway

The Cataracs Ready 4 The Weekend (ft. Icona Pop)

The Civil Wars Poison And Wine

The Cure Boys Don’t Cry

The Glitch Mob Between Two Points (ft. Swan)

The Irrepressibles In This Shirt

The Jackson 5 I Want You Back

The Killers Human Somebody Told Me When You Were Young

The Last Shadow Puppets Miracle Aligner

The Lonely Island 3-Way (The Golden Rule) I’m So Humble (ft. Adam Levine) Jizz In My Pants Spring Break Anthem

The Maine I Must Be Dreaming Into Your Arms

The Middle East Blood

The Neighbourhood Daddy Issues #icanteven (ft. French Montana)

The Platters Only You (And You Alone)

The Police Every Breath You Take Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic Roxanne

The Pretty Reckless You Zombie

The Script Breakeven

The Turtles Happy Together

The Weeknd Acquainted A Lonely Night Earned It I Feel It Coming Often Or Nah (Stwo Remix) Starboy The Hills Wicked Games

The White Strips Seven Nation Army

The Zombies Time Of The Season

T.I Whatever You Like

Tim Maia Descobridor Dos Sete Mares Gostava Tanto De Você Não Quero Dinheiro (Só Quero Amar)

Tinashe Superlove Quit You (ft. Lost Kings)

Tom Odell Can’t Pretend

Toni Braxton Un-Break My Heart

Toto Africa

Tove Lo Cool Girl

Tribalistas Aliança Já Sei Namorar Velha Infância

Troye Sivan Fools for him. Wild (ft. Alessia Cara)

U2 One (ft. Mary J Blidge)

Usher DJ Got Us Fallin In Love Hey Daddy (Daddy’s Home) U Remind Me

Van Halen Why Can’t This Be Love

Vinicius Cantuária Só Você

Wesley Safadão Aquele 1% (ft. Marcos & Belutti) Camarote

What So Not Jaguar

Whitney Houston I Have Nothing I Wanna Dance With Somebody I Will Always Love You

xxyyxx About You

War Why Can’t We Be Friends

Yvonne Elliman If I Can’t Have You

Zara Larsson Ain’t My Fault I Would Like So Good

Zella Day Hypnotic (Vanic Remix)

[squishyharold]

You said prompts are always welcome :)))) how about "I got pulled by someone but he just wanted to make his flat mate jealous and now they're fucking it our of their systems and I've been left in the living room with an awkward boner and you're their other flat mate who witnessed what happened pls help me" NARRY

oh boy, oh anon, this got a bit out of hand… I hope you actually like this haha  ✌💛🌞

the worst night of his life

narry fanfictionrating: explicitwords: 6940pairings: narry (side-lilo and brief larry let’s never talk about this again) (accidental and light daddy-kink )

Harrypractically falls through the door when Louis’ finally manages towiggle a hand behind him to open it. It’s not that easy with theirlips connected in such a messy kiss, all wet with a bit too muchtongue but Harry hasn’t been kissed in weeks and hasn’t had a shag inmonths so he doesn’t complain. He’s on the edge of being tipsy afterLouis bought him only two drinks and then asked him to go back to hisplace to fuck. Harry was briefly worried about being too easy butLouis’ hands on his arse were quite convincing.

Sonow they’re stumbling into Louis’ flat (that seems way too big forone person) and Harry gasps when he’s being pushed against the edgeof a table. He makes a little noise of complaint but Louis ignoreshim and grinds against Harry’s hips instead, letting out anexaggerated moan that echoes through the whole room.

Louisusually isn’t the type of guy Harry would go for but it’s just forfun anyway, so why not? After a few more awkward kisses and touchesHarry decides to just turn off his brain and let his body do therest, like dipping his fingers into Louis’ trousers to touch morenaked skin. God, it really has been too long since he has touchedsomeone and has been touched by someone. And Louis is definitely intoit, still making those obnoxiously loud noises while he tugs atHarry’s long curls and rolls his hips again. Harry whimpers when hefeels Louis press against his half-hard dick and he’s so ready tojust bend over the table and let Louis fuck him right there becauseapparently he’s not just that easy but also that desperate.

Butthen one of the quite many doors open and Louis’ rips away from hismouth, leaving Harry cold and confused. There’s a guy looking lividwhile he yells at Louis and Louis yells back at him like he’s done ita thousand times before. Harry’s alcohol muddled brain barely keepsup with what is being said.

“Doyou think this is a game?” The bloke growls with his handscurled into fists.

Louisjust snorts, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Whatisn’t?”

“You’resuch a fucking arsehole, has anyone ever told you that? Just becauseyou don’t care about what the world thinks of you doesn’t mean otherpeople see things the way you do! Not everyone can make thosesacrifices and pretend that the world can go fuck itself.”

“Jesus,Liam, I didn’t ask you to give up your life for me, I just asked youto tell your fucking friends!”

“AndI told you it’s not that easy,” Liam hisses and now he’s almostnose to nose with Louis. “I see them at work, too, and what willyou do if I lose my job? Who will pay your share of the rent, huh?”

“Fuckyou,” Louis almost spits into his face. “I never needed afucking sugar daddy, I just needed my best friend, my boyfriend,not to be ashamed of me.”

Liamgroans in frustration. “And I told you that’s not it, I told youa thousand times. When will that ever get into your thick brain,huh?”

Harrycan see how Louis’ shoulders are trembling with anger (or maybesomething else). “You can talk all you want, Liam. It’s theactions that count.”

There’ssomething taunting in Louis’ voice that Liam picks up on immediately,eyes flashing dangerously. “Is that why you’re cheating on me?Are trying to make a point? That’s pathetic.”

Louisholds up one finger in front of Liam’s face. “First of all,you’re not my boyfriend anymore so it can’t be called cheating,”then he raises a second one, almost shoving it into Liam’s eye,“second of all, I’m alwayspathetic you fucking donut!”

Harryblinks, not quite sure how it happened because he’s pretty sure heonly blinked once, but suddenly they’re grabbing each other’s facesand kiss so desperately they almost fall over. But they don’t. Liamis pulling Louis toward the bedroom instead, the one he just came outof, muttering strings of “Fuck you”or “I love you”into his mouth (Harry is not quite sure which one it is, maybe it’sboth).

Thedoor closes with a bang and then Harry is just left stare standing,staring at the wood like it’s an enchanted cupboard that leads intoanother world where he doesn’t feel like a piece of crap. Wow,he thinks. That’s a first.

He’sheard rumours of this technique before, about making out with somerandom person to make your crush jealous. It’s something he has alsoseen in movies before, something that made him sit on the edge of hisseat because he loves romcoms and all the fake drama and the sweetslow burn until they’re finally together.

Whatnone of these movies ever depicted is how shittyit is to be the onewho is used to make someone else jealous. They don’t even explain howthe fuck this person is supposed to find their way home now. Harrywas so busy snogging Louis on the bus he doesn’t even know where heis. At least no one else witnessed this disaster.

Butas if on cue (because apparently the universe hates Harry), anotherdoor opens and a boy with damp blonde hair steps out of the bathroom,rubbing a towel over his head. He wears nothing but a pair ofsweatpants and a tank top, humming something to himself that soundslike a lot like Bryan Adam’s summer of 69and they instantly lock eyes.

Hestops dead in his tracks when he sees Harry still standing there likea fucking idiot with an uncomfortable boner and his floral shirt halfunbuttoned (though it always looks like that). They look at eachother and the boy frowns at Harry, mouth opening to ask a questionbut then Louis moans loudly from behind the door and his mouth snapsshut again. Harry feels his face grow incredibly hot when the guy’seyes flicker between him and the door and he finally makes theconnection.

Harryfeels so humiliated he wants to die and he prays to any god who willlisten to just let the ground swallow him whole so no one will everknow about the worst night of his life.

“Shit,”the guy curses and rubs the towel over his hair one more time beforehe drapes it over his shoulder and beckons Harry over. “Comeon,” he says and moves to open another door that probably leadsto his own bedroom. And since Harry doesn’t know what else to do hetakes the offer like a drowning man in search for an island or someshit like that.

Theroom is small and cosy with a desk that is so loaded you can’t evensee the surface and a chair that has become a closet for every pieceof clothes this guy owns. There’s an Irish flag above the bed thatHarry quite likes and the soft light from the desk lamp makes himrelax a little. This room kind of feels like safe space.

“Sitdown with me.”

Theguy is already sitting cross-legged on his bed and pats the spot infront of him. Harry bites at his lips because he’s not quite surewhat the guy is trying to do but then he just toes out of his shoesand joins him anyway.

“So,are you alright? My name’s Niall.” Harry can hear his accentnow, it’s a really nice one.

“Harry,”he provides quietly and rubs his nose so he doesn’t start to cry.

“Niceto meet you, Harry. And I’m sorry about Louis, he’s the biggest knobin the world but I didn’t think he’d pull something like that. It’sshitty and I’m sorry you got caught up in it.”

Harryjust tries to shrug it off and plays with a loose thread on Niall’sduvet. “It’s okay. I didn’t plan for my evening to end like thisbut… it’s okay.”

“It’snot okay,” Nialll huffs and when Harry looks up he can see himglare at the wall like he’s superman with his x-ray vision and cansee exactly what Louis and Liam are up to. “They’re a fuckingnightmare to have as flatmates and an even worse couple but theycan’t seem to live without each other. Last week Louis broke Liam’sphone so he’d lose all his contacts and the week before that Liamthreatened to beat up a guy who was flirting with Louis. Which ishilarious because Liam once cried because he accidentally killed aspider that he wanted to carry outside. Louis kinda wormed his wayinto Liam’s heart and now it’s a never-ending drama with them.”

Harrylistens to the story and now it makes absolutely sense why Louisinsisted to go to his place even though Harry’s was closer, why hewas being unnecessary loud and why he told Harry at the club that hewas perfect because helooked nothing like him. Buthis stupid tipsy ass didn’t care and now he’s in this mess. GreatJob, Harry.

“Sorry,”Niall says when he notices that Harry doesn’t comment on it. He’s notsaying anything, really. “Do you want a cup of tea or something?I can even fix you some food, though I gotta warn you, I’m a shitcook.”

Harryfrowns at that because everyone should know how to cook, it’s vitalunless you don’t care whatever shit you put into your body. Nialldoesn’t look like he doesn’t care, he’s quite toned with nice armsand… well, he looks fit. Which doesn’t help with the boner thatHarry is still having. He probably needs a cold shower.

“I’mfine thanks–” He cuts himself off and his eyes widen when theyhear the first moan drifting over from the other room. It’s highpitched like someone’s being sweetly tortured and then he groans Fuckyes, Liam and Harry wants toactually die. His cheeks turn a few shades darker and he hides hisface in both hands. He’s so fucking embarrassedhe can’t even function properly.

“Erm,I’m gonna put on some music, yeah?” Niall’s blushing a littlehimself like he’s embarrassed on Louis’ and Liam’s behalf and thathelps a little at least.

Niallcrouches down in front of his stereo, the only expensive thing inthis room – no wait, that’s not true. Harry spots a guitar leaningagainst the wall, free of dust and shining brightly like it’s beentaken proper care of. Harry wonders if Niall would play something forhim if he pretended to cry. But that would be just as shitty aspulling someone to make someone else jealous. So he holds back thetears and just sniffs a little until Niall has put on a song loudenough to drown out the sounds Liam and Louis make.

“TheChain!” Harry blurts out because he fucking loves the song andeven manages to smile at Niall when he slumps back down on the bed, alittle comfier this time, so Harry makes himself more comfortabletoo, with one leg thrown over the edge of the bed and the other stilltucked underneath his thigh.

“Ilove Fleetwood Mac,” Niall says with a grin. “My band and Icover a few of their songs sometimes.”

“You’rein a band?” Harry asks and his eyes flicker over to the guitaragain. “Yeah, makes sense. Do you just play?”

“Ising sometimes,” Niall shrugs. “We don’t really have ourown songs yet.”

“So,are you any good?”

Harrytries not to stare when Niall laughs because first of all, it’s agreat laugh and second of all, he looksgreat when he laughs.

“Nah,we’re probably shit. But it’s fun, so.” He shrugs. “It’sjust a hobby anyway. I’m studying sound engineering, that’s why Istill have to put up with shitty flatmates.”

Harryhums, nodding to himself. “I’m studying law. Doesn’t leave muchroom for hobbies but I always loved to sing. Probably have a betterflatmate though, Zayn’s barely home but he always pays the rent ontime.”

Niallgroans like he’s jealous. “Can we switch?”

Harrylaughs. “No way, that would be even more awkward than it alreadyis.”

There’sa serious look on Niall’s face this time, it almost looks stubborn.“Honestly, Harry, listen to me: If anyone should be embarrassedit’s Louis, not you. Can’t believe he even managed to pull someonelike you, you’re way out of his league.”

Harrycan’t help but snort and brushes a few strands of hair behind hisear, mirroring the grin Niall is giving him. He’s trying to cheerHarry up and he wants Niall to know that it’s appreciated. Niall nodsat him approvingly and shifts a little closer with his tongue stuckbetween his teeth so he can poke Harry in the ribs.

Hemakes a strangled noise. “What was that for?”

“Youjust look very pokable,” Niall says, still grinning and Harrycan’t stop grinningback. He doesn’t know if it’s because he’s still a little drunk or ifhe just feels very comfortable around Niall. So comfortable in factthat he already forgets about Louis and Liam and concentrates on themusic instead, singing along to the chainwith his upper body rocking to the beat of it.

Nialljoins him by humming some harmonies under his breath, moving hisfingers to the right chords of the song like he would with his guitarand then they’re just jamming together and Harry feels a littlelighter, so light he might just fall off the bed.

“Careful,”Niall laughs and keeps him steady by getting a hold of both of hishands.

“I’malways careful,” Harry lies but he’s such a bad liar that even astranger calls him out on it.

“Ifeel like that’s a complete lie,” Niall snorts while the songchanges to Landslide.“I bet you trip over your own feet like an oversized puppy.”

“I’mnot. I even do some boxing.”

Niall’seyes flicker to his arms immediately, like he’s trying to see themuscles underneath the awful print. But Harry loves awful prints andhe’s not ashamed of it.

“Areyou any good?” Niall asks with a raised eyebrow and Harry jutshis chin out in defiance.

“I’mamazing!”

“Yeah,sure,” Niall chuckles to himself. “But I’m sure you’rebetter at singing. Honestly, you sound great, have you ever thoughtabout joining a band?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

Harrytilts his head. “What, yourband?”

“Sure,”Niall says and tilts his head in the same direction. “You need aproper hobby, don’t you? Boxing is lonely and you study lawwhich can’t be that exciting.” Harry can’t really argue withthat. “Don’t you think you could use a change of scenery?”

Insteadof answering Harry just throws his head back and sings loudly, “WellI’ve been afraid of changin’ ‘cause I’ve built my life around you,but time makes you bolder even children get older and I’m gettingolder, too… Oh, I’m getting older, too.”

Harryalmost gets lost in the music like he always does. Doesn’t matter ifhe’s listening to it on his way to class or during a workout. Noteven the shower is safe from him and his  performances and when he’scooking he sings the list of ingredients to the tune of BritneySpears. Also, the best part about Christmas is singing Christmassongs with his sister. Fuck,music takes up so much space in his life, he didn’t even realise ituntil Niall pointed it out.

WhenHarry tips his head forward again and opens is eyes Niall is evencloser, his hands still squeezing Harry’s. It surprises him so muchthat he feels himself lean forward as well, it’s pure instinctbecause Niall is so fit and he smells so good since he came fresh outof the shower and Harry probably smells like a liquor store and thatdoesn’t seem to bother him at all.

“CanI kiss you?” Niall asks quietly, all serious now and on the edgeof desperate. It makes Harry’s head swim and his heart pound. Evenhis dick almost swells back into fullness just from that question.

“Yes,please,” he says politely because his mother said to always bepolite.

Niallsmiles and lets his hand smooth over Harry’s wrists and up to hisarms to get a better hold of him and just haul him into Niall’s lap.He goes willingly, eagerly, and smashes their mouths together beforehe can even straddle Niall.

Harryis so much taller than him, so he has to hunch over to kiss himproperly and Niall’s head is tipped back all the way to kiss himback. It’s already so much better than kissing Louis and that hasnothing to do with skill, Harry has kissed enough people to knowthat. Kissing always involves two people and those two people have tofit together in order to be ‘good at kissing’. Niall might be shit atkissing in general but Harry wouldn’t care because he’s greatat kissing Harry and that’s all that matters to him right now. Heenjoys the slow drag of their lips, the hint of teeth grazing hisbottom lip whenever they move their heads to change the angle.

They’recompletely in sync and Harry breathes little needy moans againstNiall’s lips, squeezing his thighs together like he’s preventinghimself from grinding into his lap. He’s holding back, he knows heis, because he doesn’t want to be a charity case here, he doesn’twant Niall to feel sorry for him, he just wants to be wanted. That’swhat he always wants.

“Doyou want me to fuck you?” Niall whispers against Harry’s lips,hands roaming his back. “I’d fuck you good until you scream.What do you say, hm? Do you want Louis to hear what he’s missing outon?”

Harrymoans and wriggles on Niall’s lap, already feeling hot all over. Fuckyes, he doesn’t just want to be fucked, he wants to be claimed and towash away the humiliation from earlier. Because Niall doesn’t look athim like he’s a second choice, like he’s bait for someone else. Hiseyes are so wide and blue, so hungry for Harry like he’s the fuckingjackpot. Harry’s always a fucking sap when he’s had alcohol but hethinks he might be able to fall in love with that look on Niall’sface. He’s definitely able to get fucked by Niall, that’s not even aquestion.

ButNiall is still just looking because Harry hasn’t given him an answeryet and the fact that he waits for consent, that he even asked if hecould kiss Harry, makes his cock jump with need.

“Howsturdy is your bed?” He asks instead and Niall’s patience turnsinto shy confidence.

“Haven’tfound out yet. I usually don’t take people home.” His fingersmove up under the hem of Harry’s shirt, trailing over his bare skin.

Harryfeels himself shudder and carefully drapes his arms around Niall’sneck, “Good thing I was already here then. Now let’s find out.”

Niallblindly grabs for the remote of his stereo to turn it off before helets it drop to the floor and kisses Harry again. It’s rougher thistime, with more tongue and teeth but not too much, it’s just rightand Harry feels like he could get off just from kissing Niall. Well,and maybe from rutting against him like a brainless animal becauseNiall tastes so good, smells so good and feelsso good, he doesn’t know what else to do. But Niall doesn’t seem tomind, he’s already growing hard himself. There are hands popping thelast few pathetic buttons on Harry’s shirt before it’s shoved overhis shoulders and he’s half naked.

“Come'ere,” Niall mutters and breaks away from Harry’s lips to drapeone arm around his waist and flip them over.

Harrymakes a surprised noise when he’s suddenly on his back with a heavilypanting Niall on top of him. His eyes and hands follow every line ofHarry’s body, starting from his hip  over his stomach to Harry’schest. He’s swallowing hard as he re-draws the tattoos on his skinand Harry just lets him.

“Fuck,I want to get my mouth on every inch of you but I don’t think thenight is long enough,” he says like it’s just a normalthing to say even though it’s not and Harry stares at him like he’sinsane and wants nothing more than to be infected with it.

“Just.Just start anywhere you like,” Harry whines and squirms on theduvet so he can push his hip against Niall’s.

Niallis only grinning and lets his fingers trail over Harry’s arms, downto his wrists. He pins them above Harry’s head in one swift motionand bends down to kiss him at the same time. It immediatelyextinguishes any will in Harry to break free, he just goes bonelessinstead, breathing through his nose as Niall kisses all the words andnoises out of his mouth.

“You’reso fucking pretty, you know that?” Niall murmurs against Harry’smouth before he licks back into it. He’s not so careful anymore, notso composed and when he moves around, Harry can feel how hard he inhis sweatpants. It would be nice to touch him, to circle his fingersaround him and feel how big he is, to find out how much he’s going totake up his arse in a minute.

There’sthe faint noise of a bed creaking in the other room but Harry quicklyforgets about it, tunes it out completely when Niall lets go of hishands to shift back on his legs and open his trousers. It takes a bitof effort to get them off but when Harry is completely naked heshivers with Niall’s mouth leaving kisses on his skin as he crawlshis way up Harry’s body (of course he leaves out Harry’s desperatelythrobbing dick).

“Fuck,”Niall curses and stares at Harry like he did something odd.

“What?”He asks, suddenly anxious that he fucked up. But he didn’t even doanything, did he?

“You’reso good for me already,” Niall says in awe and kisses alongHarry’s arm with pleased little noises rumbling in his throat untilthey reach– oh. Now Harry understands. He’s talking about the wayHarry just kept his hands above his head, even when Niall let go ofhim. His fingers curled around the little rods of the headboard oninstinct, he didn’t even think about it. But it seems to drive Niallmad with want so he better pretends to have done it on purpose.

“Iwanted to fuck you on your hands and knees,” Niall growls intothe skin on his neck, tormenting it with bites like they’re a treat(and oh, they are to Harry). “But now I really want to look atyou while I take you apart piece by piece.”

“Niall,”Harry whimpers, body jerking against him. “You’re not even nakedyet.”

“Hmm,I think I like it when you’re naked and I’m not.”

“Niall,”he complains a little louder which only makes Niall chuckle.

“Alright,no teasing. I think Louis teased you enough today. Fucking dick moveof him, god, I reallywant to hate him but it means I get to have my way with you so Idon’t really know what to do.”

Hepresses his thumb into the fresh bruise he just left on Harry’s neck,making him gasp. “Fuck me. Please.”

“Ah,”Niall says. “Right, that’s what I wanted to do.”

Hisfingers wrap loosely around Harry’s dick, nothing else, just toground him as he leans over to his night-stand to provide a bottle oflube and a condom. It kind of works though, Harry expects to go wildwith the faintest touch but Niall excites him and calms him down atthe same time.

“Tellme what you like,” Niall asks while he coats his fingers withlube. “I don’t know you yet, but I want to make you feelgood.”

Harrycan’t really think, the word yet making his fuzzy brain ponderall the possibilities. But Niall’s finger is already teasing the rimof his hole, his eyes watching Harry carefully.

“Ilove being stretched out until it’s just enough,” he finallysays when he meets Niall’s eyes. “Just enough so I can stillfeel it when you fuck me. I like when it’s too–” He gasps atthe first finger entering him. “Too much. I like it rough but Ialso love going slow, I…” He trails off for a moment andcloses his eyes when Niall slides his finger in and out. “I wantto be taken care of—fuck! Niall.”

Theother boy grins and licks over his teeth as he repeats the movementthat barely grazes Harry’s prostate.

“Notyet, but good thing I already found it.”

Harrygroans. “You’re the worst.”

“Maybe,”Niall murmurs and gives Harry a look that he doesn’t know where toplace. “But I think you’ll love it.”

“Fuck.”

Hisfingers tighten around the headboard as Niall keeps stretching himout, adding a second and third finger with softly spoken words thathave Harry keen and writhe on the bed. Who knew that asking what helikes could be such a turn on? He has been in countless situationsbefore where he felt like he couldn’t say anything. He didn’t hate itbut sometimes he didn’t enjoy it, he just endured it until the lessnice parts were over. With Niall it was completely different, hemakes it so easy to just say it out loud and he doesn’t feel bad forguiding him when he gets it wrong. Not that there’s anything Nialldoesn’t nail on first try.

Harrycloses his eyes and takes a deep breath when Niall finally strips outof his clothes and then quickly climbs back between Harry’s legs toroll on the condom and sink into him, careful and slow. His handssqueeze Harry’s sides and keep him warm and steady as he bottoms out,breath catching in both of their throats. It’s just the way Harrylikes it, stretched enough but with a slight burn that makes himsquirm underneath the body on top of him.

Whenhe opens his eyes he can see Niall watch him with a trembling jaw,like he’s barely holding himself together. He’s waiting and Harry’sheart jumps with arousal and affection for this guy that he just met.He loosens his hands from the headboard because they’re starting toache but also because he wants to hold Niall.

“Youcan move.” Harry doesn’t recognises his own voice, he sounds sowrecked already. “Come on.”

“Roughor slow?” Niall whispers against his lips but doesn’t kiss him.It’s driving Harry mad.

“Rough,”Harry decides right then and there, digging his nails into Niall’sback to urge him on.

Niallpulls almost all the way out before he thrusts back into him,stealing Harry’s breath once more before he gives in and kisses him,teeth catching Harry’s lower lip. He starts with a quick pace andHarry loves it. He wants Niall to know how much and tells him betweenkisses, whenever there is enough air in his lungs. Doesn’t matterthat he can’t really think straight and that it’s more gibberish thanactual words.

“Youfeel so good,” Harry whimpers when Niall changes the rhythm andfucks harder into him, face pressed into his neck now.

“Ifeel like that’s my line,” Niall gasps, hands skimming downHarry’s body to grab his thighs and jerk his hips forward.

“Ohfuck, fuck.” Harry’s hand grabs at Niall’s bleached hair.“Fuck you, get your own line.”

Niallcackles into Harry’s skin and he can’t help but laugh, too, which isridiculous. Sex with Niall is fun and that’s a word he hasnever associated with this kind of activity. Sex is usually hot andgood or very awful but never fun.

“Alright,”Niall says and stops moving, which makes Harry complain and squirm onthe bed. “Jesus, you’re such a little monster aren’t you? Can’teven keep still for a moment while daddy is catching his breath.”

And– oh. Harry did not expect that. He didn’t, but now the words haveslipped out of Niall’s mouth and they make him shiver all over, makehis cock twitch where it’s trapped between their bodies as heproduces a strangled noise in the back of his throat.

Niallbraces himself on his hands to stare down at Harry like he didn’teven mean to say it, but when he sees what the words did to Harry hiseyes grow dark.

“Didyou like that, too?” He asks and rocks back onto his kneeswithout pulling out of Harry, who’s still moving around so Niallgrabs at the fat on his hips to keep him still. It’s that groundingfeeling again, the certainty of being in good hands, the best handshe could possibly be in and Niall has very nice hands. They’reso rough and calloused and Harry wants to die on the spot becausehaving Niall’s dick in him like this, having Niall’s eyes roam hisbody in fascination, it’s enough to drive him close to the edge. Onlyhis neglected cock stands between himself and a mind-blowing orgasm,he can tell.

“Yeah,you liked that,” Niall realises with an intrigued growl and thenhe rolls his hips to watch Harry arch off the bed in pleasure. “Youreally, really liked that.”

“Please,”Harry breathes and brushes away a few strands of hair that stick tohis face. “Please don’t stop.”

“No?You still want it rough, baby?”

Harrynods so fast his head hurts and tries to reach out for Niall with onehand while he props himself up with the other, dragging theirforeheads together.

“Pleasefuck me, daddy,” he says in a shy voice that has Niall groanlike he’s in pain.

“Ohgod, okay, jesus. Come here, babe.” He catches Harry’s mouth ina kiss before he can say anything else, thrusting his hips at thesame time to fuck him deep and raw. “Such a good boy,” hemutters and Harry is about to faint from how well he’s being fucked.It’s like the alcohol has evaporated a long time ago, theintoxication he’s feeling coming from Niall and how great his dickfeels each time he rocks back into him.

“More,”he whispers and falls onto his back again when Niall pushes at thehollows of his knees and almost bends Harry in half. That’s it,that’s it. Niall’s dick finally rubs over his prostate and itmakes Harry grow restless. He stops his arms from flailing around bygrabbing his own hair with one hand and clawing at his face with theother, his little finger trapped between his teeth.

“Shit,how are you– so hot. Louis is a fucking idiot, I can’t believe helet you slip through his fingers.” There’s sweat gathering onNiall’s forehead, his still damp hair plastered to it as he givesHarry these looks that make him blush. He wants to be good for Nialland he basks in the attention he’s receiving. Niall can’t even blink,can’t look anywhere else and Harry loves every minute of it. “Youcan be as loud as you want, love. Let them hear, yeah? I want them tohear how much my boy is enjoying himself. Come on, Harry.”

Hecaresses the back of Harry’s thigh before he finally reaches for hiscock that needs to be touched so desperately. Harry could’ve done ithimself but he wanted to last longer for Niall, he didn’t want tocome yet, didn’t want the night to end. This night, that somehow hasturned from the worst night of his life to the best night of hislife.

Niallgives him a firm stroke, thumb circling over the swollen tip andHarry lets out a choked cry as he writhes on the duvet with his nailsdigging firmly into cheek. It’s so different from all the other timesHarry has hooked up and it has never been so hard to keep his bodyand his thoughts together. Niall’s words, the sounds every time hiships meet Harry’s, Niall’s eyes worshipping his body, it makes Harryforget about his less exciting and mostly troubled life. Which inturn reminds him why he wanted to get drunk and hook up with someonein the first place.

“Louder,”Niall demands, sounding less controlled and more like he’s about tocome. “Do you know why I want them to hear? It’s not–” hetakes a deep breath but his words come out jerky anyway from the wayhe’s fucking into Harry. “It’s not for my sake it’s for yours.Louis, he should be taught a lesson, yeah? He shouldn’t fuck withpeople like that. And I want him to know, that… that you can have agood time without him. You’re having a good time yeah? How does myboy feel?”

“Sofucking good,” Harry breathes and then whimpers when Niall pullsaway from his cock and his thigh to lightly slap his arse. He holdson to it painfully hard, but it’s just the right amount of painfuland Harry would have no trouble telling Niall if it wasn’t.

“Language,”he groans, which has Harry half-moaning and half-laughing.

“Sorry,sorry! So good. Feels so good,” he corrects himself and now thathis legs are free again he spreads them a little wider, causing Niallsink deeper into him.

“Fuck,”Niall chokes out because apparently he’s the only one allowed tocurse and somehow that turns on Harry even more and has him groanlouder. “I take it back, fuck them, I want you all for myself.”

It’senough, all of it is enough to make the heat coil in the pit ofHarry’s stomach. Niall recognises the moment and quickly curls hishand back around Harry’s dick, stroking him as fast as he fucks himand then the heat simply unravels again, making Harry’s mouth fallopen as he comes hard. He feels his toes curl in the duvet and he canonly hold his breath for a moment before the moans fall from hismouth, loud and unapologetic

“That’sit, there’s my good boy. So pretty, so fucking pretty I can’t even–oh god.”

Harrycan’t help but feel a little disappointed when he calms down from hisorgasm and notices that Niall already came and is currentlyrecovering from it with his head fallen back and his chest rising andfalling in quick motions. Harry didn’t want to miss it but he’s alsovery pleased that he could make Niall come at all.

Theireyes lock a moment later and it kind of brings them back intoreality. A reality where Harry is not Niall’s boy and they’repainfully aware of the silence in the other room. Harry feels sore,his legs are aching and he nervously bites at his bottom lip, notsure how to read the look Niall is giving him. But then the cornersof his lips turn up into a smile and the knot in Harry’s chestloosens instantly, making him mirror the expression until they’rechuckling and giggling.

Harryis still kind of out of it and barely notices Niall pulling out andgetting rid of the condom. But he feels the faint sensation of a wetcloth cleaning up the mess on his stomach before a warm body slipsback into bed with him. Niall’s struggling a bit to get the duvet outfrom under Harry, yanking at it and laughing when Harry just sprawlsacross it like a star fish to make it extra hard.

“Brat,”is what he mumbles against Harry’s ear when he’s finally able to pullit over both of them.

ToHarry’s delight Niall just curls around his back and pulls himagainst his chest where it’s still a little sweaty but mostly warmand cosy. Other guys either tend to not cuddle at all or let him bethe big spoon because he’s so tall but Niall doesn’t care, he presseshis face into the back of Harry’s neck, leaving kisses on his skinwhile telling him to go to sleep. And well, there’s nothing elseHarry can do because he’s so tired and pleasantly exhausted, hisbrain completely wiped from anything that ever bothered him.

*

Theyfuck again in the morning, though Harry doesn’t really want to callit fucking. It wasn’t even planned, Harry just kept wriggling hisarse until Niall was hard again and asked him quietly if he wanted itrough or slow. Harry picked slow this time and turned around to kissNiall lazily while he was opened up with three fingers.

That’show they end up on their sides with Harry’s leg hooked over Niall’ship as he keeps rocking in and out of Harry. They’re not in a rushand Niall’s movements are so gentle and slow that Harry almost fallsasleep again. Not because it’s bad, it’s just so nice and soft andHarry easily goes pliant in Niall’s arms. They are looped around hisbody, fingers splayed over his back.

“Lovehow you feel around me, baby,” Niall whispers and leaves kisseson his cheek, his jaw. “Don’t worry, daddy is taking care ofyou. Do you want a proper kiss?”

Thewords let the heat curl in Harry’s body all over again and make itquite obvious that he didn’t just enjoy them because of last night’salcohol.

“Yesplease,” Harry hums against Niall’s mouth. It’s not proper, it’sjust very sweet the way Niall pours himself into the kiss and Harry’sheart actually flutters a little. Woah.

“Howclose are you?” Niall murmurs after pulling back.

“Dunno.Close…? Want you to come inside me.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah…”

“Wantme to fill you up?”

“Mhm.”Harry nods, which is ridiculous since Niall’s wearing a condom.“Need you, daddy.”

“Fuck.Be a good boy and come with me then.”

Harrywhimpers. “I can’t.” He doesn’t actually know if he can orcan’t because Niall is going so slow and it doesn’t feel like there’sa build-up to anything but then he feels Niall’s hand sneakingbetween them and his head lolls back in pleasure. “Oh.”

“Thereyou go, come for daddy. Just for me this time, I know you can.”

AndHarry does. It’s just a tiny orgasm compared to last night but itmakes him feel fuzzy around the edges and he’s actually consciousenough to feel it spread in his body until he’s trembling with it.He’s giving a soft sigh while he burrows himself deeper into Niall’sarms and enjoys the little jerking motions as he comes as well.

Theyjust stay like that for several minutes or hours, Harry can’t tell,but at some point he hears two people bickering outside of the doorlike an old married couple, hears cupboards being opened and closedagain. Harry couldn’t care any less. He watches Niall through hoodedeyes but Niall is too focused on the little bruises he left onHarry’s neck and shoulder, kissing them while brushing back his hair.

Harryhasn’t felt this calm and sated in ages and it suddenly hits him thatthis might end any second when Niall decides to throw him out of hisbed. And he didn’t even have the chance yet to convince Niall not todo that. All Niall did yesterday was ask him what he likes. He tookcare of Harry and Harry never bothered to ask what he likes.

“Ilike fucking pretty boys,” Niall says when Harry blurts out thequestion like a scared teenager asking for his crush to hold hishand.

“Ohreally?” Harry mutters, not exactly happy with the plural inNiall’s answer.

“Mhm,”Niall hums and runs a delicate finger up and down Harry’s thigh thatis still thrown over his hip. “I also like dating prettyboys.”

Harry’sfrown deepens and his bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Boy. As inone boy, which is me. You should date me.”

Healready loves the lazy smile that appears on Niall’s face as he presses themcloser together. “Sounds good. I think I’d like that even more.”

Harrynods and decides to be brave by leaning in for a kiss that has Niallmoan in a completely non-sexual way. It’s more like he’s tastingreally good food, which makes Harry realise how hungry he actuallyis. Especially when the smell of coffee reaches him.

“So…”Niall looks very pleased after they break apart. “Now thatwe’ve settled that: Are you ready to have the most awkward breakfastin your entire life?”

Harrygives him a look. “It’s only as awkward as we make it, Niall.And I want to make it very awkward… for them.”

Niall’ssmile turns into a grin and then into a laugh and Harry joins him amoment later.

Yeah,definitely the best night of his life.

[finding--cat]

To read the previous instalment, click here.

To visit the story page, click here. 

Thank you for reading. Your time spent here is a gift to me.

Part I: The List 1.4

“Ugh. It’s all so expensive,” Rosen groans, closing the magazine and casting it aside. She picks up her mug of tea and, while cradling it to her chest, blows the steam away.

“It’s a wedding,” Ari points out. “Did you think it was going to be cheap?”

In the middle of the week, after Ari finishes a shift with Kalene, Rosen picks her up and takes her across the street to a café. She’s spent the day perusing bridal catalogues and says she wants Ari’s opinions. It takes the same amount of time for Ari to order them teas as it does to figure out that Rosen doesn’t want her opinions at all – she wants Ari’s approval.

“Kind of?” Rosen admits, barely sheepish. “Not cheap, but I guess I assumed Mom and Dad would chip in more than they are.”

Ari quirks her brows and lowers her eyes to the bridal magazine in front of her to save Rosen from her cynical expression. “They’re covering the dress, the photographer, and the booze. That’s a pretty substantial contribution.”

“Yeah, but think of how much else there is.”

“Well, it’s at the Hawley family farmhouse, so don’t tell me the venue’s breaking the bank.”

“Actually, it is,” Rosen says matter-of-factly. “Do you know how much work it takes to clear out and decorate a barn?”

Ari laughs, short but loud, drawing the attention of three women in line at cash. Ari covers her mouth to suppress another giggle. “Do you?” she throws back.

Rosen finds this less than funny. “I will. And so will you, because we’re starting work in the fall once the harvest’s done.”

“Goodie.”

“But that’s just the venue. The food will cost us a fortune.”

Ari pauses, her mug of tea held at her lips. “Please don’t tell me you’re slaughtering Hawley pigs.”

Rosen side-eyes her. “Of course not. Oh, but we are serving rack of lamb, so you’re either gonna have to eat it or figure something else out.”

When Rosen busies herself reopening the bridal magazine she set aside, Ari gives her the finger.

Too engrossed in the magazine, Rosen points to a particular article and scoffs. “This whole page is about selecting your wedding dinner music — I didn’t know I had to think about that. I haven’t even got our first dance song picked out yet. I’ve narrowed it down to Luke Bryan, Brad Paisley, or Dierks Bentley.”

“What?”

“What do you think?”

Ari shrugs. “Are those country artists?”

“Obviously.”

Ari laughs again. This one prompts a frown from Rosen.

“I’m sorry, but since when do you love country music enough to give it the first dance at your wedding?”

“Since when have I not loved country music?” Rosen counters.

“Since freshman year of college when you went with Christian to see Slipknot in concert because it was, according to you, ‘the purest form of music’.”

If Ari’s memory serves her correctly, Rosen spent her eight-month relationship with Christian Pell in black. Her carefully selected Gap clothing was shoved to the back of her closet to make room for new picks from Hot Topic, and her black eyeliner was so thick she went through a pencil every few weeks. When they split at the end of first year, Rosen went back to flats and cardigans and blouses, and Ari never saw her vintage Iron Maiden or Black Sabbath shirts again.  

“Ugh,” Rosen scoffs. “Why do you have to remember everything? I like country music now. Get over it.”

“Because Jackson likes country music,” Ari finishes for her.

“Because it’s romantic,” Rosen snaps, “and I want it at my wedding. Okay? Is that okay with you?”

“Mm hmm.” Ari mashes her lips together and doesn’t say another word.

“Oh, God,” Rosen says after another minute of reading the article, “there’s so much music to consider. What vibe do I want at the reception? What music plays when Jacks and I are introduced as husband and wife? What do I want guests to hear when I walk down the aisle?”

At that, Ari looks up. “Are you considering live music?”

Rosen tilts her head in contemplation. “I’d say yeah, but something tells me Beyonce only books two years in advance.”

“I mean for the ceremony. What about live music?”

“You mean like a harpist? I could walk down the aisle to a heavenly harp.” Rosen cocks her head in contemplation.

“Or maybe a guitarist,” Ari tries again. “He could play whatever you want and it would sound more authentic. More intimate.”

For once, Rosen takes her suggestion seriously. “That might be nice.”

“I might—” Ari begins, then thinks better of it and stops mid-sentence. But Rosen stares at her expectantly, and she feels pressured to continue. So she adds, “—know someone. I might know someone who could do that for you.”

“Someone from home?” The skeptic crease in Rosen’s forehead rules out that option. “Because I’m already concerned the motel across from Sherman’s is running out of rooms. I can’t fly anyone else out here.”

“No, not from home,” Ari assures her. “He… he lives here, actually. In Tillson City. Which would probably make Jackson happy, since you said he wants to keep the services for the wedding local.”

A bout of silence follows in which Ari’s positive she hears every individual coffee bean filter through the grinder behind the bar.

Finally, Rosen speaks. “You met someone here?”

“Yeah.” Ari doesn’t want to go into detail, so she quickly adds, “He’s a musician. He plays almost nightly at Sherman’s – I met him the night I went on the date with Luke.”

“Oh.” Satisfied by her explanation, Rosen shrugs her shoulders. “He plays weddings?”

“Yeah. He’s really good, too. So... it might be cool.” Ari hitches her breath, hoping she doesn’t sound like she’s pleading. After all, Linda said Niall’s picky with his performances – even if Rosen agrees, it doesn’t mean Niall will.

Rosen seems to like the idea, hemming and hawing as she drains her mug of tea. “Maybe,” she says. “I’ll think about it.”

Bringing her mug to her lips, Ari hides her smile.

.

Ari may or may not have (but definitely did) volunteer to assemble and arrange the picnic table in order to be nearest to the backyard entrance. The boys’ll come ‘round back, Jackson said, so she texted Niall to do the same.

“I feel bad for Luke, poor guy,” Rosen said earlier in the day, “coming into tonight thinking he’ll get a second date only to see you with another guy.”

“It’s not like I’m dating Niall,” Ari said while arranging a bundle of snipped sunflowers in a vase for the centrepiece. Pausing, she blinked before whipping her head in Rosen’s direction. “And it’s not like Luke and I were ever dating, either.”

Rosen responded with a heavy sigh. “Obviously I’m happy you found a friend. It’s just frustrating that you’re leading Luke on. It looks bad on me, too, you know.”

Ari had a lot of things to say about that, but instead, she decides to police the entrance to Jackson and Rosen’s barbecue to ensure she gets to Niall before her sister does.

Unfortunately, the slam of car doors and masculine guffawing beyond the gate means she’ll have to go through Luke first. He ribs another guy that Ari remembers as ‘Pike’, sending a haphazard punch to his chest and then chasing him up the gravel path. Another one of the friends (Schultz? Schafer? She can’t remember), walks slowly behind, his arm draped lazily around the shoulders of a girl popping bubblegum.

As Luke and his friend see Ari, their laughter fades and their pace decelerates to a collective walk. They let themselves in through the gate, Luke holding open the door for the remaining couple.

“Hey.” Ari extends a general greeting as she opens a plastic bag of napkins.

The two guys seem to recognize her and give small waves as they pass, with the girl grinning widely as she blows a bubble with her gum. Luke, to his credit, comes to a halt in front of Ari. He stuffs his hands in his pockets, almost endearingly demure until his eyes travel the length of her body like a tiger stalking its prey.

“Hey, cutie,” he drawls, head tilted to expose his cut jawline. He wears fitted navy cut-offs and a polo shirt, his feet bare in boating shoes. He belongs on the cover of an Abercrombie catalogue. And Ari, wearing one of Rosen’s high-necked striped tanks tucked into a pair of high-waisted black shorts, may just fit in right alongside him somehow.

Ari raises her brows but refuses to allow her upper lip to curl in revulsion. Instead, she brings a hand to her mouth to cough. “How are you?”

“Better after seeing you again.” He’s confident and cool, staring Ari down as if waiting for her to start grovelling. If he’d entered her life a year ago, she may have done just that. When her self-esteem was at its lowest, who’s to say she wouldn’t have been entirely persuaded by his ‘God’s gift to women’ aura?

“Can I get you a drink?” Ari asks at the same time Jackson asks the others, “Y’all want a brew?”

He shakes his head. “I’ll get it. Can I get you something?” He gives her no time to reply, suggesting, “Beer? Cider? Boys and I brought some coolers for the girls. They like that sugary shit.”

Ari shrugs and fakes a smile. “Not this girl.”

Luke’s grin is less conciliatory than smug. “Like that about you. Jacks said you were different from other girls.”

Ari cocks her head, spine stiffening. It’s a gross comment on Luke’s part, but she ignores it in favour of a more pressing thought. Of course Jackson spoke about her to Luke before they met – it only makes sense – but it’s unsettling all the same. Different? By ‘different’, Jackson meant ‘mentally ill’, not ‘unusual beverage preference’.

Does Luke know that?

It occurs to Ari that Luke may very well know. She glances around the patio to Jackson’s friends – three surrounding the grill, five standing in a circle laughing. They may all know about her. Rosen’s sick, fucked up sister who can’t be trusted to take care of herself, who can’t be trusted to be on her own, who wears their parents out with her special needs and has to live with her sister because everyone else needs a fucking break from her existence.

Her breath comes short as she returns to Luke. He’s a broad man, bigger boned and over six feet tall, and to Ari, he may as well be a brick house. Bigger than her in every way. Or maybe he’s not big at all; she’s just very, very small.

“But that’s cool,” Luke continues with a lazy shrug. “I like a challenge.”

Ari shakes her head slowly, brows tugged inward. “I’m not a challenge.”

He snorts. “So what are you, easy? ‘Cause I can work with that, too.”

“Nice,” she utters under her breath. She huffs and fixes her stare on him, refusing to give into the other eyes she feels upon her. Their eyes, Rosen’s eyes, the eyes of the world. “I’m not anything – not to you.”

He wiggles his brows, nostrils flaring as he sniffs. “’Least you could do is gimme a chance.”

The glares of others may be a source of her paranoia, but she can’t bear them anymore. She drops her gaze to the table and begins to fan out the napkins. It’s not in her to be direct or to say exactly what’s on her mind. She’s never the one with the scissors when it comes to cutting ties; she’s the one watching the rope from a distance waiting for the elements to erode it to dust, no matter how long it takes. She’d do the same here – she’d let Luke, in all his arrogance, believe they were involved until finally, one day, he accepted on his own terms that they weren’t – but Rosen’s voice echoes in her mind. She thinks Ari’s behaviour looks bad on her. This is Ari’s temporary home but Rosen’s permanent home. She needs to make friends. She needs to be liked.

So Ari needs to be different. She needs to use the scissors this time.

“I’m not interested in pursuing anything beyond friendship right now,” she says, eyes trained to the napkins. “I’m sorry if there were mixed signals or miscommunication, but it is what it is.”

“You sure?” Luke’s closer than she’d like him to be, nestled right next to her at the picnic table. “Your sister said you’ve been pretty lonely.”

That one stings like rubbing alcohol on an open wound. Ari nearly hisses at the singe but bites her lip instead, finding that it helps to tame the quiver. She arranges the condiments in order by colour, murmuring, “There are different kinds of loneliness.”

He hovers near her with a retort while Ari desperately thinks of a way to escape, to dart to the bathroom and run cold water over her flaming cheeks. Jackson has no idea the service he’s providing when he interrupts.

“Here, Brentwood,” he says, handing Luke an uncapped bottle of beer and slapping his shoulder. “Folks wanna hear your account of the Hokies massacre last week.”

“Epic,” Luke bursts, followed by a laugh. “Morgantown was the loudest I ever heard it. Best part was the three dudes streaking at halftime with WVU painted across their bodies…”

Ari gathers enough information to learn they’re discussing football – WVU is becoming a familiar acronym, and Jackson holds Sunday afternoon football sacred enough that it’s easy to put two and two together. All in all, Jackson did her a favour. Her shoulders deflate as Luke joins the group near the grill, waving his beer in the air as his storytelling excitement builds.

In her head, she counts the number of people present. Eight guests, plus Jackson, Rosen, and herself. It seems like everyone’s arrived and the grill is heated – she should go in and put the finishing touches on her potato salad and baked beans dish before bringing them out.  

Stepping through the sliding door, she spots Rosen at the sink, still wearing her apron as she washes a stack of cutlery.

“Did you talk to Luke?” Rosen asks. No hi, how’s it going, did you meet anyone new?

Ari goes straight to the refrigerator. “Yep.” In other circumstances, she’d spare Rosen a glance, but not right now. Right now, that open wound still hisses from the sting.

With soapy hands, Rosen turns to follow Ari with her eyes. “Did you tell him…?”

“Yep.”

Long pause. “And?”

Ari shakes her head with a sigh. Balancing the two bowls in her arms, she crosses the kitchen and opens the sliding door with her foot. “It was fine.”

Then she’s gone, back into the abyss of people she doesn’t know but who know her – know the worst thing about her, the thing Jackson and Rosen certainly told them. That she’s lonely, sad, helpless. Ill.

She’s arranging the bowls on the table when a familiar face pops over the top of the gate and disappears just as quickly. Before she can react, the gate swings open to reveal Niall. Casual in skinny jeans, a red and black striped tee, and his signature black baseball cap, he juggles the door to the gate with his ankle because his arms are preoccupied by a gigantic watermelon.

… A watermelon.

Ari’s face breaks into a grin at the mere sight, and when Niall pretends to wipe a bead of sweat from his brow and genuinely comes close to dropping the enormous fruit, she can’t suppress a laugh.

“Hey! You made it.” She leaves the table as it is to greet him at the gate.

“Yeah.” Niall blinks, seemingly surprised by her statement. “’Course.”

“And you brought a… watermelon.” Her effort to maintain a straight face results in a snort.

“Yeah. I, uh, I wanted to bring something meatless, ‘cause I know you don’t eat meat. So…” he trails off, eyes darting from Ari to the watermelon and back again. When she covers her mouth with her fist to laugh, he dons a serious face and leans in close. “Is it stupid?”

“No! No, not at all. Here,” Ari says, helping him roll the watermelon from his arms to hers. “It’s an amazing barbecue food. You didn’t have to bring anything, is all.”

“Gram raised me never to arrive to a meal empty-handed.”

“You’ve definitely arrived with both hands full.”

He snorts. “My first idea was to bring pot brownies, but I wasn’t sure how well it’d go over. New crowd jitters, I guess.”

“I thought you went to high school with them?”

Niall presses his lips together and fights an eye roll. “Haven’t exactly kept in touch.”

Ari nods slowly and surveys the crowd surrounding the barbecue. Years and years after high school, it remains clear that Niall’s and Jackson’s friends are from different worlds. In their preppy style of dress, in the way they stick close to one another and peer over their shoulders at the incoming guest, they’re opposite of Niall’s casual wear and open, approachable personality.

“Come in with me,” she suggests, watermelon cradled to her stomach like a pregnant belly. “Gonna cut this up.”

Niall follows happily, giving a small wave but ultimately ignoring the huddled group shooting him confused glances and muting their voices to just above whispers.

Rosen, folding up her apron and checking her hair and complexion in the reflection of the mirror, looks over in surprise as Niall appears at the door. He holds it open for Ari, who barrels through with the watermelon and sets it down on the counter. While she begins to rifle through the drawers in search of a long knife, she says, “Rosen, this is Niall. Niall, this is my sister, Rosen.”

On autopilot, Rosen smoothes her hands over her jeans and then steps forward with one outstretched. “Hi, Niall. Nice to meet you.”

“And you,” he replies. “Can tell you’re sisters.”

“Really?” Rosen blinks. “Ari takes more after our dad than I do…”

“No, no,” Niall says quickly. With a shy grin, he adds, “Just… the accent. Not often we have more’n one New Yorker in Tillson City.”

“Oh.” Rosen’s shoulders relax and she smiles. “Well, in a couple months, it’ll just be me again. Wouldn’t want to disturb the balance of this little old town too much.”

Niall shrugs. “Eh. I say we could use a shake-up. We need some outside perspective.”

Outside perspective? With Rosen in her apron prepared to entertain Jackson’s friends for the evening, dreams of law school long forgotten, Ari’s not convinced Rosen cares as much for fresh perspective as she does adopting traditional gender roles.

There’s a satisfying squish as Ari slices into the watermelon. She looks over her shoulder with a grin to find Rosen’s gaze fixed to the guests outside and Niall’s on her.

.

Jackson’s announcement that the ribs are ready is met with a stir of excitement from the guests. They assemble into a single line behind the barbecue, each holding a paper plate and nearly salivating as they wait to be served. Beer in one hand and tongs in the other, Jackson proudly serves the meat.

“Get in line,” Ari urges Niall, who loads his plate with potato salad and baked beans at the picnic table.

He shakes his head. “Nah, ‘m good.”

“I’m told it’s not a true southern cookout without ribs.”

He pretends to scoff but isn’t able to hide his amusement. “Been to plenty of cookouts and I’ll be to plenty more. I’ll survive without the animal flesh.”

She bites her lip, taking one of Rosen’s homemade cheddar biscuits from the pile and setting it neatly on her plate. “You don’t have to hold out because of me. I’m not offended.”

He displays a toothy grin. “Still no.”

Once everyone has their main dish and moves to the picnic table, Ari and Niall find themselves without seats. The table is sturdy but small, and with everyone squeezed together, there’s no room.

“Ari, bring chairs from the kitchen,” Rosen instructs from her seat on the bench next to Luke. “You can put one on either end for you and Niall.”

One on either end? Ari glances at Niall, who moves his tongue along the inside of his cheek as if pushing words back down his throat.

“Okay,” she says, gesturing for Niall to follow her. To him, she whispers, “We can just eat on the step, if that’s okay?”

He agrees easily, so they flop down side-by-side on the stoop leading from the kitchen’s sliding door. Rosen looks over her shoulder in annoyance but doesn’t comment. Other than stray glances from members of the group, it’s like they’re forgotten entirely, which should maybe bother Ari more than it does.

“You have a lot of cookouts back home?” Niall asks, spinning corn on the cob between his hands before he cranes his neck to take a bite over his plate.

“In Long Island? Yeah. Well, in the summertime.”

“I guess that makes sense. Pretty cold here in winter too.”

“We have barbecues, though… not cookouts.”

Niall widens his eyes, but waits until he’s chewed and swallowed before asking, “What’s the difference?”

“We use the grill for hamburgers and hotdogs, mostly. I thought that’s what they’d be serving tonight until Rosen told me this morning that Jackson was deciding between ribs and pulled pork.”

He sets down his half-eaten cob and turns his palms face-up, greasy with butter. Still, Niall goes on, “Yeah, pork is a big feature down here, I guess. Not so much beef.”

“How come?”

“Dunno. Lotta farms ‘round here… lotta cows wandering around… maybe we’re sentimental.” He uses his knees in an attempt to shift the plate on his thighs but nearly drops everything before jerking in panic to save it all.

Laughing, Ari sets down her plate and fetches him a stack of napkins from the table. Niall takes them gratefully when she returns and begins to wipe his hands.

“It’s all the same to you anyway, isn’t it?” he asks.

“What’s all the same?”

“Pork, beef… you don’t eat it, right?”

Ari leafs through pasta salad with her plastic fork. “That’s recent, but yeah.”

“Oh, is it? When did you go veg?”

“A few months ago. Not long before my, um,” she stutters, pushing her hair over her shoulder and averting her eyes, “before my accident.”

“Oh.” Niall nods thoughtfully, comfortable to sit in silence. After several seconds, he asks, “What inspired you to give it a shot?”

She shrugs, sighing deeply. She musters a weak smile, able to meet his eyes because she trusts they won’t be burning through her. As expected, they’re not – Niall’s blue stare is searching and warm, but not judgmental.

“It was an item on my list,” she admits. “You know, the list I wrote to—”

“I know the list,” he interrupts with a grin.

“Right.” She presses her lips together, dimples appearing in her cheeks. “I wanted to make big changes. Replacing meat in a diet may seem hard, but it was the easiest item to check off my list. And checking something off, that made me feel good. You know what I mean?”

Licking his lips of a juicy bite of watermelon, he looks up like he’s been caught robbing a bank. “Not really,” he admits sheepishly. “’M not—I mean, I don’t make a lot of lists. Doesn’t mean I don’t respect it, though. I think it’s cool. I should try it.”

“Going vegetarian?”

“No. Yeah, I guess, but I meant making lists. Should use it like you do, to improve myself. Make myself better.”

Shrugging again, Ari nudges him playfully. “You’re pretty all right, aren’t you?”

He rolls his eyes dramatically.

She laughs and tries not to stiffen when the others look over. Niall, for his part, is good at avoiding their leering stares. Maybe it comes with performing in front of a crowd for a living.

“So did Rosen get it right? Is this a true West Virginia cookout?” she asks.

“Not bad, for a first try. Food’s good.”

“I’ll tell her.”

“No music, though.”

“Is there supposed to be?”

“Maybe not with this crowd.” He shrugs. “When me and my buddies get together, we try to get a few tunes going.”

“You all play together?”

“Yeah, definitely. No fun if someone’s sitting on the sidelines.”

“Hmm. Intriguing.” Ari winks. “We should’ve invited them.”

Niall cracks a grin. “That would’ve gone over well. My crowd – the misfits, if you will – we never really jived with these folks.”

It’s Ari’s turn to roll her eyes. “High school was a long time ago, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” he agrees, leaning back on the step to rest against his elbows, “but some things you don’t forget. Not in this town, anyway.”

Before Ari can inquire further, Rosen comes to stand before them, tapping her foot as she waits for them to make room for her to walk into the kitchen. Ari and Niall spread apart on the step, but it’s only as Rosen gives her a glare from beyond the glass door that Ari realizes she’s meant to assist with the cleanup.

“I’ll be a few minutes,” she says apologetically to Niall.

“Can I help?”

“No, no. You’re a guest. I’ll meet you back out here, okay?”

“Uh… okay.” He finally eyes the picnic table of his former peers as he hands her his empty plate. He uses his napkin to wipe his lips once more before crumpling it up and placing it on top. “Actually, can you meet me out front? I wanna show you something.”

“Sure. See you there. I’ll be quick.” She gives him one last fleeting smile before ducking inside.

Rosen hovers over the sink, scrubbing away.

“What can I do?” asks Ari.

Rosen gestures to the counters, loaded with dirty dishes, used paper plates and plastic cutlery, and general disarray.

“I’ll start with a trash bag,” she offers. While she opens up a fresh bag from the pantry and begins to stuff it with garbage, it’s hard not to take notice of Rosen’s increasingly tense posture, the way she scrubs pots and pans harder and harder. Ari’s mad at her – she’s allowed to be sore, especially after speaking with Luke – but still, she finds it within herself to ask, “You okay?”

“Why didn’t you guys bring out the kitchen chairs?” Rosen blurts out, like the question has been sitting on the tip of her tongue and bubbling over like lava for an hour. “You just sat alone, off in the corner.”

“You wanted us to split up on opposite ends of the picnic table. He’s my guest – that seemed unfair.”

“How are you gonna get to know anyone if you keep isolating yourself?”

“I am getting to know someone – Niall.”

“Maybe the rest of us want to get to know him, too.”

Ari grinds her teeth in exasperation, forcing herself to take a calming breath before she bites back. “I don’t know, Rosen. From the weird, awkward looks everyone was giving us during dinner, I kind of believe Niall’s side of the story that there are some lingering unpleasant memories from high school.”

“Oh, grow up.”

That does it. Ari refuses to reply and begins to throw plates and cutlery into the trash bag like a child.

Jackson enters to what can only be described as a scene: Ari noisily stomping around the kitchen, Rosen scrubbing so hard at the sink her arm must be entirely numb.

“Everything… good?” he asks carefully.

“Fine,” Rosen snaps. “Ari was just leaving to spend more time with Niall.”

“Is that what I was doing? Great. Will do. Here, Jackson.” She thrusts the trash bag into his arms and walks straight out of the kitchen and into the living room, pausing at the front door to slip on some shoes.

From where she stands crouched near the door, Ari hears the two of them hissing at one another in the kitchen.

“—don’t know why she would even invite him if she was gonna ignore us. Why not go somewhere else if they wanted to be alone?” Rosen complains.

“Who cares? Your sister’s your sister. Let her do her thing. Why are you so invested?”

“I’m not invested—”

“You are,” Jackson argues. “You think everyone didn’t notice you flirting out there with Luke? Like you were trying to get Ari’s attention?”

“I was not flirting with Luke—”

“And I don’t appreciate that, by the way.” His whisper turns jagged, cutting with every breath. “Those are my friends out there, you got that? I don’t care who you’re trying to make jealous or what you think you’re doing, you don’t come onto them in front of me. You show some respect.”

“Jacks, that’s the last thing I was trying to do—”

Ari slams the door. She doesn’t need to hear any more. And if they realize she was eavesdropping? Who cares.

On the front stoop, she pauses, closing her eyes to inhale another clearing breath. Air fills her lungs and expands her chest, and when she releases, she feels centered. It’s a yoga trick. She should do more yoga.

She should be more vigilant about checking it off on her list.

Where’s Niall? Ari opens her eyes to the tiny front yard, driveway and street loaded with cars… and no humans. Niall did say to meet him out here, didn’t he?

“Over here!” With an accompanying whistle, she glances right, where Niall’s truck is parked along the ditch. She grins, partly due to excitement and partly due to relief, and skips — genuinely skips — across the grass to join him.

Niall squats on the edge of the truck bed, the tailgate lowered and the bed hollowed out. He extends a hand and pulls Ari up without much effort, steadying her with hands on her hips when she rocks backward.

“Thanks,” she says breathlessly, taking in her surroundings. With a slight frown, she asks, “This is what you wanted to show me?”

He laughs. “Well, yeah. This.” He gestures to a trash bag quite similar to the one she’d filled in the kitchen, but opens it to reveal a number of throw pillows and a blanket. He guides Ari out of the way and spreads the blanket over the bed of the truck, setting up pillows on each end of the tailgate. Then he gestures her forward, giving her his hand for support as she lowers herself to a seated position against the pillows. He flops down beside her, but not before tossing her a can of beer he filched from Jackson’s cooler. He cracks one open for himself and tugs an acoustic guitar onto his lap.

“Am I about to get my own private concert?” she jokes. Her contagious smile is quick to infect Niall, who never looks quite complete to Ari without a massive grin on his face.

“If you play your cards right.”

She arches her brows. “I have cards, do I?”

He chuckles, averting his eyes as he fiddles with the tuning pegs. “You know you do.”

“I do?”

He rolls his eyes. “In case it wasn’t obvious, I don’t really go to a lot of weekend cookouts with former high school football jocks.”

She watches him pick a few strings and tune the instrument, her smile barely fading from its glimmer even though her stomach flips. “What kind of cards would you say I have? Two pairs? Straight flush?”

Niall looks up, unfazed. “All the spades.”

She blinks. “All the spades? What sort of poker hand is that?”

“Who says we’re playing poker?”

Talked into a corner, Ari’s lips part to grasp for words, but there are none. Before clamping her mouth shut, she retorts, “Do you always have pillows and blankets in your truck?”

He shrugs. “In the summer, yeah. Like to have ‘em just in case.”

“In case of a cookout?”

“Yeah.” His fingers leave the strings for a moment so he can take a gulp of beer. “Or a camping trip, or a long drive, or a nice sunset.”

“Or a girl you’re trying to woo with a romantic atmosphere?”

His cheeks flush the lightest shade of pink, but still he grins unabashedly and goes back to picking strings to the softest melody. “It is all about the company you keep,” he agrees, “but I haven’t woo-ed in a while.”

Cradling her beer between two hands, Ari asks, “Why is that?”

“Hard to, ‘round here. Hard to make any changes ‘round here, really. Everyone’s set in their ways. Nobody’s expecting a big career move or a new house or to see something new in someone they’ve known all their lives.”

Ari nods slowly. She’s beginning to recognize a tune he’s picking. “Did you woo in New York?”

“I did woo in New York.” He pauses to concentrate on Dust in the Wind, only picking his head up to briefly return, “Did you woo in New York?”

“I woo-ed in New York,” Ari repeats.

“When was the last time you woo-ed in New York?”

Ari gives a stilted laugh. “It’s been a few months since the wooing ended,” she admits. She takes a sip of beer, and it tastes stale in her mouth – more from thoughts of Louis than the beer itself. “But I don’t want to talk about that right now, if that’s okay.”

“Sure,” Niall agrees easily. He cracks another lazy smile. “Withholding your spades?”

“For now. For tonight.” She licks her lips to sing along with the lyrics, “Dust in the wind.”

Niall is quick to join in: “All we are is dust in the wind.” He clears his throat and disguises a smile before looking off down the road to where the sun meets the horizon, a glowing pink orb surrounded by smoky orange sky. “Speaking of wooing…”

“Yeah?” Ari prompts, narrowing her eyes in amused suspicion.

“How’d your sister come across Jackson Hawley, anyhow?”

It’s not the question Ari was expecting, but she takes it in stride. “They met in school,” she explains. “She got into law school and was debating which strand to study. A mutual friend set them up on a coffee date so Rosen could ask questions before making her decision.”

Niall changes tune while he digests the information. “Two lawyers, huh?” He gives a low whistle. “Talk about a power couple.”

“Yeah. What could have been.”  

He glances over, raising a brow.

“Rosen only did a year of law school.”

“Jackson didn’t do a good job convincing?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure.” Ari settles back against the pillows, taking a sip of beer before setting down the can. She folds her arms across her chest to keep herself warm as the sun dips below the trees. “The thing is, Rosen’s a really smart girl. She’s succeeded at everything she’s ever tried. She keeps her head down and works hard – if she’d finished her law degree, she would have kicked serious ass. No doubt.”

“Then how come she didn’t?”

Ari shrugs, clamping her lips shut to contain her suspicions. But it’s so easy out here, being away from the crowd, chatting with Niall, the soft music guiding their conversation and creating a calm atmosphere…

“Jacks was working as a clerk at one of the firms downtown. As soon as he put in his time, he was deadset on going back home and working for his father. However he and Rosen fell in love, it happened fast, and she prioritized their relationship over her career.”

“Huh.” Niall lets that sit for a while, humming a tune as he strums. While Ari burrows further into the pillows and tries in vain to warm her bare arms with her hands, he asks, “What does she do now?”

“Nothing since she’s been here. She says she’s looking for work, and I believe her… there just aren’t many opportunities for employment.”

“Yeah. Might have to go as far as Charleston to find something, really.”

“She’s holding out for an admin role at the firm. I know that’s what she’d like. So far, Jacks hasn’t come up with anything.”

“You really think she’d want something like that? They say mixing business and pleasure is never a good idea.”

“Says the man who plays his guitar for a living,” Ari says. She stretches her leg to nudge his thigh with her foot.

Niall grins cheekily. “I’m just saying that a husband and wife working together could be the greatest thing… or could be the worst thing. Not sure if there’s an in-between.”

“I think Rosen would love it,” Ari says, crooking the corner of her mouth in indecision. “When she’s involved in something, whether it’s a relationship or a school project, she’s all in. It’s Jackson I’m worried about.”

“Why’s that?”

“I don’t know.” She presses her lips together and stares into the mouth of the beer can.

After a moment, Niall ceases his playing and looks over. “You do know. You’re just not saying it.”

Ari nods. With a sigh, she admits, “I worry that he wants a wife, not a life partner. He wants someone to stay at home and look after the kids, someone who’ll have the laundry done and dinner on the table by the time he’s off work. And if Rosen’s that kind of girl, then she’s not the girl I used to know. She’s not the sister I remember.”

Niall turns back to the sunset and resumes playing. He keeps his eyes on the fret board as he places his fingers. “Maybe people can change for the people they really love.”

“No,” Ari blurts out before she can stop herself, “maybe the people they love should love them back as who and what they are – even if that means compromising what they really want.”

“Is that love?” Niall returns. “Compromising what you want?”

“No. Love is acceptance.” When he doesn’t reply, she presses, “You don’t think so?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think you’re wrong, I just hope there’s more to it. For my sake, at least.”

Puzzled, she sits back against the pillows and waits for him to elaborate.

He doesn’t. Instead, he begins to sing. Ari joins in on the chorus of James Taylor’s Fire and Rain, a broad smile on her face and Niall’s cryptic comment long forgotten. Just the street stretching down the hill, leaves on the trees tinged in gold under the setting sun, and the gentle breeze.

“This is how it is with me and mine,” says Niall.

“What is?”

“Cookouts. Hangouts. Stuff like tonight. We talk, sure, but there’s always music. Something in the background to set the mood.”

“You still do that, even now, as adults?”

“Yeah. Everyone can do a little of something. When the high school band’s back together, we bring back the old stuff.”

“Zayn sings for you?” Ari guesses.

Niall nods matter-of-factly. “He can play a bit of the keyboard, too, but he was always the dude with the pipes.”

“You were okay to take a backseat on the vocals?”

He scoffs. “Me? I’m no frontman. Nothing wrong with going solo, but to me, being in a band’s better – and I’ve always admired the great ones. Pink Floyd, The Who, Sex Pistols, Fleetwood Mac, Rolling Stones… always wanted to be a part of something like that. Always wanted to make music with other people.”

“Do the other guys enjoy it as much?”

He shrugs absently. “Think so, yeah. We had a good time together.”

“Why don’t you get back together, then? Re-establish the band?”

“Nah. When it was done, it was done. They wanted to move on, distance themselves from music.” Niall hesitates, fingers frozen on the strings before his chin falls to his chest and he begins again. “Not me, though. Music is… it’s my favourite part of myself. I don’t want to forget that, or push it away.”

He pulls the body of the guitar closer to his stomach, cradling it protectively like a newborn. The next few chords he strums, the guitar might as well be a balloon and his fingers nothing but pins.

“Because then you’re not at home in your own skin,” Ari muses.

“Liking myself a little less every day,” Niall finishes. He glances over. “You know what that’s like?”

She doesn’t have to verbalize a reply to speak to Niall – he sees her affirmation in her calm stare, her fingers tightening around the can.

“I know what it’s like to not feel like myself. To feel detached, lost in my own head and unable to see over the walls of the maze to find my way out.” She hesitates, softly adding, “That’s why I have my list.”

“It brings you back?”

“No,” she says, deflating. “It just helps me from slipping too far and too fast.” After all, she’s been unmoored from her inner self so long that she couldn’t recognize the harbor even if her boat was docked.

Niall ponders this with a wave at another truck that whizzes by. He receives a honk in response. Catching Ari’s eye, he sighs in resignation. “I don’t want to have a list.”

She smacks her lips and averts her gaze, absently running her thumb over the lip of the can. “Yeah.”

“I don’t mean that it’s bad,” he’s quick to say, “I just mean… I want to keep my music. I can’t give it up, even if everyone else has. Even if they say I should get a real job and stop dicking around – this isn’t dicking around to me. Anything else I did would be insincere.”

A peaceful calm envelops them. It shouldn’t bother Ari, but it does. She should have a comment. A personal anecdote, perhaps, but what does she have to add? She lost her passions before she even recognized what they were. Niall’s luckier than he knows.

Maybe he sees that she’s deep in thought, brows furrowed and lips twisted, or maybe he notices the way she shivers every time the breeze comes through. Either way, Niall moves closer to her in the bed of the truck, scooting an inch or so every few moments until he’s right there next to her. He leans back to rifle through his bag of pillows and emerges with a throw. Before Ari can protest, he covers her with it and tucks it over her shoulders and under her chin.

“I don’t need it,” she insists, grasping the throw tighter around her and sinking into its warmth.

He smirks. “Very convincing.”

“Seriously, I’m—it’s summer, I’m fine.”

“’S what it’s here for.”

“I know, but I—”

“Baby, it’s cold outside,” he interrupts, strumming along with his jolly tune and easily picking up the melody on the guitar. “Take the damn throw – baby, it’s cold outside.”

“Niall, I honestly don’t need it—”

He’s quick to follow up with, “Baby, it’s cold outside.”

“Seriously!”

“No place for bare arms to hide…”

“Niall,” she giggles.

“Don’t want you to catch a chill – I’d be remiss if you froze and died,” he finishes the verse to a guffaw of laughter from Ari, who nods in approval and accepts the throw once and for all.

“Your improvisation is impressive,” she says in a giggle as Niall sets his guitar aside.

“So’s your laugh,” he returns in earnest, his eyes on her lips.

There are still faint rays of light peeking out above the trees, but Ari hopes the sun has set enough that he can’t see the colour rising to her cheeks.

When his eyes flicker to hers, he finds her stare fixed on him, watching thoughtfully.

“What?” he asks, ghost of a smile playing at his lips.

She places the back of her icy hand to one of her cheeks, surprised that it’s warming from his words and gaze alone. It’s easy with Niall. He’s handsome and friendly, and when she’s with him, there’s a perpetual glowing ball of warmth hovering above her ribcage and beaming all the way down to her toes. She didn’t know anyone could get inside her skin anymore. For so long, she was impenetrable. Even when she tried to open up, her soul clamped shut.

“It doesn’t bother you?” she asks, because she needs to know. “That I’m… like this?”

“Like what?” he asks, smile fading.

“That I’m… struggling,” she stammers, as if it hurts to say. “That I was on medication, that I’ve been exiled to West Virginia by my family. That I religiously stick to this list that keeps me sane.”

Niall shrugs, the curve of his mouth indicating that he’s in the midst of contemplation. He blinks. “Does it bother you that I’m from Middle-of-Nowhere, West Virginia? That I wasn’t part of the in-crowd in high school? That I never finished college and I get high with my grandpa?”

She rolls her eyes, chewing on her lip to bite back a smile.

“Gramps always says there are certain things we don’t get to choose about ourselves, so there’s no sense devoting too much time to worrying about them – or worrying about anyone else’s ‘set-in-stones’. Only thing we should mind ourselves with is who people are – their character.”

Nodding slowly, Ari replies, “Sounds wise enough.”

He shoulders up next to her, bouncing back against the plush pillows. “I needed to hear it a lot. In high school, anyway,” he explains. “There were some things about myself I didn’t like at the time. Things that used to keep me up at night. But I can’t change them, just like you can’t change what happened to you. So I look at you and see a success.”

Ari fights a laugh. “How so?”

“You made a change. Left behind what you knew and came down here to be with your sister.”

She scoffs. “That wasn’t really a choice.”

“Yes, it was.” His gaze burns. When she turns to him, his eyes are a sharp glacial pond in contrast to the pastel colours in the sky. “You chose to start fresh when you could have kept going down the same path. That list you keep – that’s your choice. Nobody’s making you abide by it.”

Block of lead in her chest, Ari gulps. “Thank you.”

“I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know deep down,” Niall says with a shrug. “And to me, it’s exciting. You’re exciting.”

“I’m exciting?” A bubble of laughter gurgles in her throat, but she contains it so as not to offend him. Because he looks serious. Is he an idiot?

Thankfully, Niall laughs for her. She joins in. “Look, I’m from Boone County,” he explains. “The most exciting thing that’s happened here all summer is when Billy Brant’s prize pigs started a revolution and escaped from his farm. Cops had to close down the main road for half a day to round them all up. To meet someone new around here, someone who’s not stuck in the same old rut, doing the same thing they did the day before… that’s exciting to me.”

Ari nods to herself, envisioning life from Niall’s perspective. Perhaps she is an excitement. Maybe that explains the wary eyes of the locals when she wanders downtown and Luke’s agreeableness to go on a date with her before they’d even met. She’s new, and everyone else in Tillson City is not. It doesn’t mean anything to her, but it’s significant to Niall.

And to her, it’s significant that he’s out here serenading the sunset with her.

With a smile creeping onto her lips, she replies, “You’re exciting to me, too.”

Niall nods, though he asks, “Why?”

“Because…” she trails, eyes falling to her lap, “you’re the first person who’s told me without words that I’m not a lost cause.”

After a moment of silence, even the strings of Niall’s guitar cease to vibrate. Ari lifts her chin to find his eyes boring into her, shoulders moving in time with his breaths.

“Nobody really is,” he murmurs, “but even if someone was, it wouldn’t be you.”

She leans forward without prompting, without a verbal reply on the tip of her tongue. Though the air around them has her shrugging the blanket higher on her shoulders, between them the air crackles with heat. If their skin touched, there might be a spark, a little burst of lightning in the summer night.

She’s curious to test it out and see.

Niall takes his lip between his teeth as he leans into Ari, ducking his head to meet her but then pausing, eyelids fluttering. He licks his lips. “So, um… about Luke…”

Ari stays where she is, afraid of disturbing their balance even though the topic has gone awry. “I spoke to him tonight,” she breathes back.

“Yeah?”

“Mm. I, um, I made it clear that we’re not going past a first date, or whatever that was.”

“He didn’t cause you any trouble?”

“No. Not after I explained I’m not in a place to be dating someone right now.” Niall’s eyes widen ever so slightly. She sees him inch back, suddenly aware of how close they are. How they very nearly share the same breath. And though she knows she should shut up, stop talking, or fix what she’s said, she goes on. “My last relationship ended not too long ago. It was bad. It was bad for a long time, but it was worse after it was over. He was the last person I had – the last person who was in my life other than my family, and when he was gone, I was alone. And I don’t think I should have that again, that sort of contract or commitment with someone, because I don’t want to depend on anyone – and I can’t have anyone depend on me. I need to learn to rely on myself.”

He nods through it all, but when she’s done, he appears more confused.

“I didn’t tell Luke all that,” Ari blurts out, relieved Niall’s no longer close enough to feel the heat in her cheeks. “I didn’t tell him any of it. I just… I think Rosen got a little ahead of herself and wanted me to be one hundred percent back to normal right away. That’s why the whole thing with Luke happened, but it’s not happening anymore. He knows that now.”

“Oh.” Niall tightens his fingers on the neck of his guitar and sits back against the pillows, staring straight ahead.

Should she apologize and take it back? The words are on her tongue, because she’s instantly regretful of the loss of his warmth. But thoughts of Louis are rising in her brain like steam, fogging every mirror and windowpane, and she knows she can’t do to anyone what she did to him. No matter how she admires and enjoys Niall, it’s in his own best interest for her to keep a distance. Emotionally, at the very least.

“You are normal, by the way,” he adds softly. “Maybe just not her definition of the word.”

“Yeah,” says Ari, blank and monotone. “Maybe.”

“Good. So.” He swallows. “You’re off the hook.”

“Off the hook.”

“Cool. Look, I should probably get going. Good to settle into Sherman’s before everyone starts on their second round, especially on Fridays.”

Ari’s hand follows him when he pushes himself up, as if she intends to pull him back – but she doesn’t. She watches him hop down from the bed of the truck and turn to offer her his hand.

“Okay.”

“Thanks for the invite.”

“Of course. Glad you came.”

Ari takes his hand, which he then puts on his shoulder for support. She grips near the collar of his shirt on her descent from the truck bed, quickly dropping her hand when she’s safely on the ground.

“Sorry if that was weird,” she says, rolling her ankle and shaking her head as if ridding herself from a trance. “I didn’t think… I don’t know what we’re… doing here.”

“No weirdness,” Niall confirms. He clears his throat. “We’re friends, I hope. Friends?”

She nods eagerly.

But then they stand there. Facing each other. Hands at their sides, lost words on their lips.

Niall coughs again and pats himself down. He hears a jingle in the right pocket of his jeans and digs out his keys. “You doing anything on Sunday?”

“No. Why?”

She watches him pull together the pillows and blankets and stuff them haphazardly into the trash bag. “Know it’s not too exciting, but I got a standing date with Mickey on Sundays after church when Gram goes out with her Bridge friends. He’s asked about you – he’d be thrilled if you joined. No pressure, though. Just the tender feelings of an old man.”

Ari giggles. “No pressure?”

“None at all.” Acting like himself again, Niall shoots her an adorable grin.

“Maybe,” she says with a shrug, knowing that maybe definitely means yes.

“Maybe?” His brows pull together, sussing her out. If she’s as transparent as his expression implies, she may need to learn some new tricks. “Okay.” He throws the bag over his shoulder and makes his way to the driver’s seat. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

Ari backs up to the slant of the ditch, where she stands with one hand in her pocket and the other ready to wave. She jumps at the bang of the engine, but waves him off with a laugh.

There’s other laughter too, and it comes from the backyard where Jackson and his friends are drinking and dining. Ari can barely hear the sounds of shouts and giggles as she makes her way up the driveway, smiling to herself and heading inside to be alone with her thoughts.

.

Jackson’s friends leave well after midnight to choruses of “MOUNTAINEERS, YEE-UH!” and promises to return on Sunday afternoon for the game. If Ari was ever truly teetering on the fence of joining Niall at his grandparents’ house, she’s not anymore – she’s most certainly going.

Ari, who’s spent the remainder of the evening in her bedroom, exits quietly in her pajamas once the house is silent. Jackson and Rosen speak in low but argumentative tones in the kitchen. Ari ignores what seems to be yet another quarrel and heads to the bathroom across the hall to fill a cup with water. She returns to her room and douses the succulents, pleased that the one she’s called Herman has sprouted a new leaf. She’ll share the good news with Kalene tomorrow.

On her second trip to the bathroom to refill the cup for herself, Ari pauses at the top of the stairs when she hears her name from the kitchen below.

“There’s nothing Ari needs to know.”

Rosen’s voice is quickly followed by a scoff from Jackson. “Well, I’d speak to her about it if I were you.”

“Speak to her about what? What is there to say?”

“Let her know Horan’s not who she thinks he is.”

“Who is he, then?” Rosen demands.

Hand on the banister, Ari frowns. What does Jackson care?

“Look, I went to high school with him. I know things.”

“What things?” Rosen hisses, exasperated.

There’s a long silence. Ari’s about to shake it off and head to the bathroom when Jackson suddenly suggests, “Set her up with Luke instead.”

Ari’s eyeroll is met simultaneously with Rosen’s sigh. “She met Luke. They had a date. You didn’t want her to pursue it at first, and now she doesn’t want to pursue it – what else can I do? She likes Niall; he’s harmless.”

She should feel something in her chest for Rosen – warmth, affection, love – for sticking up for her. There’s a softening, certainly, but nothing strong enough for the tendrils of her heart to grasp. Still, after a cold evening with her sister, this is the nicest thing she could ask for.

“That’s what you think,” Jackson argues.

“So what? He’s not harmless?”

“Not by a long shot. Not if this is the game he’s playing.”

“What are you talking about?”

“He can’t give her what Luke can.”

Rosen snaps, stomping her foot on the floor and demanding, “Jackson, what do you mean? Spell it out for me. What are you saying?”

“For fuck’s sake, Rosie, he’s a queer!”

Dead silence. Ari can’t even hear them breathing anymore. Jackson’s voice echoes in the kitchen and filters upstairs, reflecting off the walls into her head.

If there’s a response from Rosen or follow-up from Jackson, Ari doesn’t stick around to hear it. She slips back into her bedroom, cup un-filled, and closes the door.

[leafypyrolunaricegum]

Fanfiction: When You Meet (Leafy/Pyro/Luna/Ricegum x Viewer/Reader)

!!!WARNING!!!: Swearing

LEAFY: You work at a coffee shop called Lava Java. You stood behind the counter, looking around. No one in the booths and seats. You just want to go home already. You look at the clock on the wall about the door. 8:28am.

The bell rings as the door swung open and closed shut after. You eyes now focused on the messy, dark brown headed guy with the snapback and laptop. He wore a black hoodie that has a floral skateboard print saying “Vans Off The Wall” and ripped, black jeans with black combat boots.

He gazed at your eyes, with his big, brown pupils. He smiles and sits in a booth, by the window. You decided to get his coffee for him, and getting to know him. You walked to his booth, with a notepad and a pen in your hands.

“Um, hello, welcome to Lava Java. How can I help you?” You asked him in a polite voice. The guy look at you with his beautiful brown eyes and smiles. He speak up, “Hey, um, (Y/N),” He read your nametag on your red uniform. “Can I just get a mocha?” “Yes, in a mintute.” You replied, writing down the order.

You go to the counter and grab a small, white glass coffee cup. You fill up the cup with the coffee that was made earlier. You look at the guy, typing away on his laptop. You go to his booth and set his order on the table.

“Thanks.” Is the only word he said after that. You decided to walk away, until you hear, “Hey!” You turn around and saw the guy with a piece of paper in hjs hand. “The name’s Calvin. I think that we can hangout sometime.” Calvin told you.

You walk to him, grab the paper, and opened it. It was a phone number. You smiled and thanked him.

END.

PYRO: Wearing a light jacket, you walk around the streets of the UK. You look around. Shops, food, people all around. It was very different from home. You really like traveling, since it’s very fun. You smiled and decided to explore some shops. You look up at a sign saying, “Maggie’s Mask Shop”.

You walk into the door as a little bell rings. The door close by itself. There is a young lady saying, “Hello there, (Miss/Mister). Do you need any assistance?” You replied, “Oh, no thank you.” She smiles and walks behind the counter.

You look on the walls and shelves of the wonderful masks that is displayed. Since you’re not watching where your going, you tripped and fell on top of someone, as you hear, “Oh fuck!” You stood up and your eyes scans on the floor.

You tripped over a guy that was wearing a white and golden mask, and light brown messy hair. He stands up and dust himself off, apologized to you. He takes off the mask and you blushed.

His face has a few pimples on his face, making him cute and young. His green eyes attracted you as he smiles. He was wearing a pink sweater and black jeans with white converse. You smiled and hide your face.

“What’s wrong? I’m too fucking hot for ‘ya, mate?” The guy joked and laughed. You laughed with him. The guy introduced himself to you. “I’m Niall, Niall Murphy. We can, I don’t know, maybe get some shitty lunch.” You smiles and replied, “(Y/N) (L/N), and yes, I am quite hungry.”

You both smiled, and got out of the mask shop, going to the nearest restaurant.

END.

LUNA: This isn’t the first time that you are late in Calculus. But you really don’t care. As long as you don’t die and able to go home, you’re life is fine. You walked into the classroom. 8:12am, the clock on the wall says as it ticks.

Your calculus teacher, Mr. James, lectures you about being late…again. You didn’t listen, since you’re gonna do it again, but that’s alright. After the little lecture that Mr. James gives you, you sit in your seat, that is in the very back in the corner. You take out a notebook and take notes, but later turned into drawings.

Later, Mr. James partners you with a guy named Austin, that you really don’t know of, for studying funtions. “Maybe he can do all the work for me,” you thought to yourself. After Mr. James announcing the partners, everyone got up and meet with their partners. A guy comes to you and questioned, “Are you (Y/N)?”

When you about to speak, you froze. His big, brown eyes, light brown hair, and his smile. He wore a blue beanie, a red hoodie, blue jeans, and black and white converse. You admire his looks as you smile.

“Yes, that’s me.” You replied to his question. The guy smiled and beamed, “Nice to meet you! I’m Austin. Should we study now?” “Yeah, sure.”

You both sat down, and start studying.

END.

RICEGUM: You, a youtuber, are going to a convention, of meeting your fans and other youtubers. You smiled as you got there, and walked around. You talked and take photos with your fans, trying to connect to with them.

It’s actually fun, and you really like that. You look around, trying to find the bathroom. You tape on a tall guys shoulder. He turns around and looks at you. You stare at him quietly.

He has black hair, brown eyes, and a great smile. He wore a black and white sweater, black jeans, and black Nike shoes. He stares at you back, in silence.

You blushed and asked, “Um, do you know where the bathroom?” He answers, “No, um, but, I’m Bryan, but I’m also Ricegum.” You smile and introduce yourself. He smiles and replied, “Awesome, so, do you wanna go to get some drinks?”

You look up to him and answers, “Okay, sure.” You guys giggled and go somewhere to get something to drink.

END.

And you both will never forget about that moment.

(I worked on these on a school night of 12am to early 2am, so I hope you like them.

- Ashanti)

[thewebofslime]

Robert Kraft brings girlfriend Ricki Lander to Allen & Co conference July 12, 2018 NewsfeedsMedia Robert Kraft brought a very special guest with him to Allen & Co this year, with girlfriend Ricki Lander joining the New England Patriots owner at the annual conference. This marks the first time that Lander, 38, has been to the Sun Valley retreat, which Kraft, 76, attends every year. Lander was not seen with Kraft when he arrived on Tuesday, but was photographed with the Patriots owner on Wednesday morning heading to the first session of the day. This latest appearance together seemed to confirm that the two are indeed still going strong after Lander welcomed a child late last year. Lander shared her first photo of daughter Monarch just six days after she and Kraft hit the red carpet for the annual Met Gala in New York City back in May, with the post suggesting that despite previous reports the baby was born this year. That would confirm speculation that Lander had the child via a surrogate, as she has been seen in public with Kraft multiple times since the holiday season, and at no point appeared to pregnant. ‘This year has been overflowing with love, light and blessings. A beautiful little angel came into our lives,’ wrote Lander. ‘She has brought more love and joy than I ever could have imagined. I love you so much little one…Thank you for choosing me as your mommy!’ A spokesperson for Kraft and the Patriots declined to comment on the billionaire’s role in the child’s life. Scroll down for videos My girl: Robert Kraft attended the annual Allen & Co conference with his longtime girlfriend Ricki Lander (pair above on Wednesday) Baby love: Lander welcomed a child late last year but it is unclear if she gave birth or had a surrogate and if Kraft is the father of the child Ring on it: Lander, 38, has been dating craft for close to seven years (pair above at the ring ceremony for the Patriots in 2015) Shey girl: Sheryl Sandberg smiled and waved to the media on Wednesday as she emerged for the first day of the Allen & Co with beau Bobby Koptick (Sandberg and Koptick above on Wednesday) Jules et Les: Les Moonves, the head of CBS, was also spotted walking with his wife and the host of two of his network’s shows, Julie Chen (above on Wednesday) Friend or foe: He will be coming face-to-face with Shari Redstone (above) this week, who has filed a countersuit against Moonves for making what she deems an illegal power grab Lander, 38, has also made her Instagram page public for the first time, revealing that Kraft also put a ring on it three years ago. Not an engagement ring though, but rather a Super Bowl ring following the Patriots 2015 victory of the Seattle Seahawks. That ring is valued at $36,500 and contains 4.85 carats of diamonds. More recent photos show Lander admiring the Costume Institute exhibit at the Met last Monday night at the Met Gala. Lander is nearly 40 years younger than Kraft, and the couple has been together off and on for nearly six years. Back in March when the news first broke about the child a spokesperson for the Patriots confirmed that Lander had a baby – but made it clear Kraft is not the father in a statement. ‘Last fall, Ricki Noel Lander became the proud mother of a beautiful, healthy baby,’ said a rep for the New England Patriots back in March. ‘While Robert Kraft is not the biological father, he is thrilled with Ricki’s blessing of having a healthy child. With respect to her family’s privacy, we will not be commenting any further.’ The statement also does not implicitly say that Lander herself gave birth to the child. Lander suddenly disappeared from Kraft’s side in January 2017 after the couple appeared together at the Golden Globe Awards. The aspiring actress wore a plunging black dress for the event, while Kraft wore a black suit and his trusty Nikes. Just a few weeks later, Kraft brought his son Jonathan with him to the event and not girlfriend Lander, who he began dating a year after his wife’s death. Eileen Donahoe, John Donahoe, Ben Horowitz and Felicia Horowitz Ingrid Fitzgerald and Niall Fitzgerald (left); Philipp Schindler and Chris Ilitch (right) Meg and John Hock Niraj Shah and Jill Shah (left); Justin Kelly and Susan Kelly (right) Kimberly Querrey and Lou Simpson Orion Hindawa (right); Jose Antonio Fernandez (left) John Driscoll and Lauren Driscoll Kevin Sabet (left); Nick Griffin and Adriana Cisneros (right) Mike O’Hanlon, Maria Macaya and Fernando Rodes Lander was also not with Kraft at the 2017 Super Bowl and subsequent victory parade after the Patriots bested the Atlanta Falcons. She and Kraft were seen together in Los Angeles this past December though, with the pair getting lunch together a week before Christmas. That gap and Lander’s lithe frame during that outing made it seem as though she gave birth in the fall, as the Patriots spokesperson said in their statement. Lander and Kraft were together again at the Grammy Awards in late January and then NBA All-Star weekend the following month followed a few weeks later by the annual Vanity Fair Oscar party. In between those outings Kraft and the Patriots lost their fourth Super Bowl in franchise history when they fell to the Philadelphia Eagles in Minneapolis. Lander was there for the loss, popping up in the background of a photo posted by Willie McGinest to Twitter as she chatted with Bill Belichick’s daughter Amanda. The Patriots owner, who made his fortune in paper and packaging and whose net worth is said to be more than $4billion, reportedly bought Lander a mansion in Los Angeles. Kraft has also taken steps to make sure that her financial future is secure thanks to a number of investments, Page Six reported. ‘Bob is fully supporting the child,’ a source told Page Six. ‘There is a lot of tiptoeing around the subject at the Patriots offices. Everyone is afraid to openly talk about it.’ Kraft already has four sons from his marriage to Myra, who died in 2011 after she was diagnosed with cancer. During the 2011-2012 season, the Patriots honored Myra Kraft with special patches bearing her initials that were clearly displayed on their uniforms. In 2013, the sons successfully petitioned the Massachusetts Supreme Court to alter the family trust so that they could have more control over assets. It is believed that the trust will be changed once again in order to provide for Lander’s child. Kraft and Lander split in late 2015 after three years together, reportedly over Lander’s desire to marry the billionaire, whose day job is serving as the Chief Executive Officer of The Kraft Group, a diversified holding company with assets in paper and packaging, sports and entertainment. The lovebirds were back together however early the next year, putting their May-December romance on display for all to see as they attended a number of events together. Under Kraft’s ownership, the Patriots have become a model of success for sports franchises. Since Kraft purchased the Patriots in 1994 for $175million, the team has captured five Super Bowl championships. In total, the team has appeared in nine Super Bowls since Kraft took over. The Patriots are tied with the San Francisco 49ers and the Dallas Cowboys for second most Super Bowl championships in the history of football. The Pittsburgh Steelers (6) own the most Super Bowl titles of any NFL franchise Love was in the air on Wednesday as couples strolled the campuse at annual Allen & Company conference in Sun Valley. Most of this year’s guests emerged from the Sun Valley Lodge around 9am and were seen walking hand-in-hand with their significant other to the first session of the day, with Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and her billionaire beau Bobby Kotick of Activision Blizzard leading the pack. CBS president Les Moonves was seen soon after, leaning into his wife Julie Chen, who hosts The Talk and Big Brother for her husband’s network. Chen seldom makes the trek to Allen & Co but may be by her husband’s side this year as he will inevitably come face-to-face with Shari Redstone, who recently filed a countersuit against Moonves claiming that he was trying to take control of the company and its board with an illegal power grab. International visitors: Francois-Henri Pinault, chief executive officer of Kering, and venture capitalist Aviv ‘Vivi’ Nevo Di’s guy: Michael Bloomberg (left) and Diana Taylor (right) were spotted heading to an early morning session on Wednesday Doting couple: Brian Grazer and wife Veronica are seen on the campus Wednesday morning (above) Spotified: Daniel Ek of Spotify and Sofia Ek (right); Sam Altman of Y Combinator with his boyfriend (right) Double date: Josh James, Marina James, Meghan Tolia and Nirav Tolia (left to right) head to a session Stacey Bendet was back in action on Wednesday morning too, wearing her third dress of the week less than 24 hours after arriving in Idaho. This time it was a Gwenda floral-print dress with a pussy bow in red from her own line, worn under a draped open front leather jacket in red also from Alice & Olivia. Bendet than topped it all off with her signature oversized sunglasses and a tainbow embellished tote, also from her fashion line. The designer, who is married to Eric Eisner, wore dresses in yellow and teal on Tuesday, driving home her belief that it is ‘all about rainbows’ and not bitcoin. Also spotted on Wednesday were Brian Grazer with his wife Veronica, Niraj Shah of Wayfair and his wife Jill and Daniel Ek of Spotify with wife Sofia. Bryan Lourd, Michael Ovitz and Francois-Henri Pinault were in Sun Valley as well, but were photographed with their respective other halves: Bruze Bozzi, Tamara Mellon and Selma Hayek. One attendee who did bring along his lady love this year was Rupert Murdoch, who was one of the first to arrive with fourth wife Jerry Hall. Murdoch is the talk of the camp this year, as Walt Disney and Comcast fight for Fox’s entertainment assets. The company is selling off its studios as well as its products, with shows like The Simpsons and movies like Avatar. Disney is reportedly in front with an offer of cash and stock valued at $71.3 billion, while Comcast had previously offered all cash. Fox Business reports the telecommunications company is using its time rubbing shoulders with Disney CEO Bob Iger wisely, and executives are preparing a new deal. Comcast CEO Brian Roberts seemed confident when he arrived at the camp, Bloomberg reported, offering a cheerful wave to waiting media and pointing out ‘it’s a beautiful day’. Brian Grazer and wife Veronica, Michael Lynton and wife Jamie and General Motors CEO Mary Barra with husband Anthony have been seen on campus as well this year. Lachlan and James Murdoch will also be joining their father at the conference, which is also being attended by the Wojcicki sisters, Anne and Susan . Sneakrheads: Michael Eisner (left) and Karina Hogg (right) were among those seen on the campus Wednesday Hall monitor: Rupert Murdoch and his wife Jerry Hall were seen arriving on Tuesday but not early Wednesday Tommy Frist and Julie Frist (left); Carl Kawaja of Capital Group with wife Wendy Holcombe (right) Bryan Lourd (above) is seen with a cup of coffee as he heads off to a session on Wednesday Dennis Lynch and Marshall Lynch (left); Omid Kordestani and Gisel Kordestani (right) Kaz Hirai, chairman of the Sony Corporation (left) and Kenichiro Yoshida, chief executive officer of the Sony Corporation (right) Lisa Piepler and Richard Piepler (left); Lindsay Levin and David Levin (right) Julie Logan and Frank Sands, CEO and CIO of Sands Capital Management Eddy Cue (left), the SVP of Internet Services at Microsoft; Brian Roberts, chairman and CEO of Comcast (right) Martin Indyk, who was previously the special envoy for Israel-Palestinian negotiations, and Gahi Buri Kevin Sabet, who founded Smart Approaches to Marijuana with Patrick J. Kennedy and serves as the director of the Drug Policy Institute at the University of Florida, was spotted on Wednesday walking with his wife. Live Nation Entertainment, Sirius XM and TripAdvisor chairman Gerg Maffei, who is also the president and CEO of Liberty Media, was also seen arriving on Tuesday afternoon. Matt Quayle, the co-creator of Squawk Box and Squawk on the Street, was seen as well, filling the spot that is given each year to a member of the CNBC team, who will interview a number of the attendees over the next few days. And rounding things out were Michael Fux, the multimillion-dollar mattress man behind Sleep Innovations. The annual conference has become known as a dealmaker’s dream, with some of the media and technology industries’ biggest sales taking place in the sleepy Idaho town. This year should be another eventful one thanks to the pro-business policies that have been touted and put in place by President Donald Trump. His offspring will not be making an appearance however like last year, when Ivanka Trump arrived with husband Jared Kushner.

[cali-holland]

Lyric Prompt List- Blurbs

Request a number, or numbers, and a character!!! Then I will write a small blurb for you! The quote may not be used in full in the blurb, but it would be like the basis of it...

Requests: Open - please read the rules briefly here

Tag List: Open - let me know if you’d like to be tagged for anything!

Main Masterlist here

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FLUFF

1. “Can I go where you go? Can we always be this close?” ~ Lover, Taylor Swift

2. “I give my hand to you with all my heart, I can’t wait to live my life with you, I can’t wait to start” ~ From This Moment On, Shania Twain

3. “There’ll never be another, I promise that I’ll love you for the rest of my life” ~ Black and White, Niall Horan

4. “And now you’re lifting me up instead of holding me down, stealing my heart instead of stealing my crown” ~ Butterflies, Kacey Musgraves

5. “But I don’t want “good” and I don’t want “good enough”, I want “can’t sleep, can’t breathe without your love”” ~ I Want Crazy, Hunter Hayes

6. “Every night I’m with you, I fall more in love, now I’m laying by your side, everything feels right since you came along” ~ Fallin’ All in You, Shawn Mendes

7. “I wouldn’t trade a day for the chance to say, my love, I’m in love with you” ~ The Words, Christina Perri

8. “You thrill me, you delight me, you please me, you excite me, you’re something I’d been pleading for” ~ I’ve Been Waiting For You, Abba

9. “I’ll wait for you I promise I will, I’m lucky I’m in love with my best friend” ~ Lucky, Jason Mraz

10. “Take my hand, take my whole life, too, ‘cause I can’t help falling in love with you” ~ Can’t Help Falling in Love, Elvis Presley

11. “All I can do is say that these arms are made for holding you, and I wanna love you like you made me feel when we were 18”  ~ 18, One Direction

12. “Now I’m speechless, over the edge, I’m just breathless, I never thought that I’d catch this love bug again” ~ Lovebug, The Jonas Brothers

13. “We’ll run away together, we’ll spend some time forever, we’ll never feel bad anymore” ~ Island in the Sun, Weezer

14. “I love you, baby, and if it’s quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely night” ~ Can’t Take My Eyes Off You, Frankie Valli

15.“When I take a look at my life and all of my crimes, you’re the only thing that I think I got right” ~ Lover of Mine, 5 Seconds of Summer

16. “Baby you’re like lightning in a bottle, I can’t let you go now that I got it” ~ Electric Love, Borns

17. “I try to shut my eyes, but I can’t get her outta my sight, I know I’m gonna know her, but I gotta get over my fright” ~ Somebody’s Baby, Jackson Browne

18. “You wear white and I’ll wear out the words I love you and you’re beautiful” ~ Marry Me, Train

19.  “What if I just pulled you close, what if I leaned in and the stars line up and it’s our last first kiss, what if one of these days baby I’d go and change your name” ~ What Ifs, Kane Brown

20. “You’re my survival, you’re my living proof my love is alive and not dead” ~ I’ll Be, Edwin McCain

21. “Tell me how to win your heart for I haven’t got a clue, but let me start by saying I love you” ~ Hello, Lionel Richie

22. “Do you ever think when you’re all alone, all that we can be, where this thing can go? Am I crazy or falling in love?” ~ Crush, David Archuleta

23. “‘Cause it’s a beautiful night, we’re looking for something dumb to do, hey baby I think I wanna marry you” ~ Marry You, Bruno Mars

24. “If I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world?” ~ Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol

25. “Baby you’re all that I want, when you’re lyin’ here in my arms, I’m findin’ it hard to believe, we’re in heaven” ~ Heaven, Bryan Adams

ANGST

26. “Maybe if I got my timing right, I wouldn’t end up alone” ~ I Love You, Alex & Sierra

27. “Could you tell me is it all a waste of time? Are you leaving my love behind? Baby, say the word and let me know” ~ Leaving My Love Behind, Lewis Capaldi

28. “All my senses come to life while I’m stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I’ll never leave again, ‘cause you are the only one” ~ One, Ed Sheeran

29. “Don’t give me those eyes ‘cause you know me and I can’t say no to you, we can’t have each other even if we wanted to” ~ Don’t Give Me Those Eyes, James Blunt

30. “You couldn’t have loved me better, but I want you to move on, so I’m already gone” ~ Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson

31. “If I should stay, I would only be in your way, so I’ll go, but I know I’ll think of you every step of the way” ~ I Will Always Love You, Dolly Parton

32. “You’ll never know the endless nights, the rhyming of the rain or how it feels to fall behind and watch you call his name” ~ Leave Your Lover, Sam Smith

33. “Last night I lay in bed so blue, ‘cause I realized the truth, they can’t love me like you” ~ Love Me Like You, Little Mix

34. “You always thought that I was stronger, I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start” ~ Fall For You, Secondhand Serenade

35. “I confess, I can tell that you are at your best, I’m selfish so I’m hating it” ~ Cherry, Harry Styles

36. “Look I don’t want you to myself, but I know I don’t want you with anybody else, don’t think you want to hear that either” ~ Details, Maisie Peters

37. “If this is my last night with you, hold me like I’m more than just a friend, give me a memory I can use” ~ All I Ask, Adele

38. “I wanna hold you when I’m not supposed to, when I’m lying close to someone else, you’re stuck in my head and I can’t get you out of it” ~ Back To You, Selena Gomez

39. “If you leave, don’t leave now, please don’t take my heart away, promise me just one more night then we’ll go our separate ways” ~ If You Leave, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

40. “If you ask me how I’m doin’, I would say I’m doin’ just fine, I would lie and say that you’re not on my mind” ~ Not Over You, Gavin DeGraw

41. “I should take down all those pictures from my wall, promises we made won’t fill this empty space” ~ Somewhere in My Car, Keith Urban

42. “You’re the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be and I don’t want to go home right now” ~ Iris, Goo Goo Dolls

43. “When you are too in love to let it show, oh but if you never try you’ll never know just what you’re worth” ~ Fix You, Coldplay

44. “I don’t care if I’m forever alone, I’m not falling for you ‘cause this baby is loveproof” ~ Crush Culture, Conan Gray

45. “I don’t wanna look down, I don’t want us to break up in the clouds, all I want is to stay us, to stay with you now” ~ Incomplete, James Bay

46. “But I always thought you’d come back, tell me all you found was heartbreak and misery, it’s hard for me to say, I’m jealous of the way you’re happy without me” ~ Jealous, Labrinth

47. “It isn’t over unless it is over, I don’t wanna wait for that, it’s gotta get easier and easier somehow, but not today” ~ Not Today, Imagine Dragons

48. “And I know that I’m drunk but I’ll say the words, and she’ll listen this time even though they’re slurred, so I dialed her number and confessed to her I’m still in love, but all I heard was nothing” ~ Nothing, The Script

49. “Will you whisper in my ear those three words I wanna hear? Tell me that you love me, the way you used to love me” ~ Tell Me That You Love Me, James Smith

50. “Now I’m half a world away from you, but you’re always on my mind, there’s a million words that I could’ve said and you might still be mine” ~ Million Words, The Vamps