#Now that i'm older and smarter I'd like to do better with this book since i recently learned packing tape isn't good for books long-term.

[valentinerose529]

Looking for advice on restorative bookbinding!

I recently learned about fanbinding and custom bookbinding, and I've decided it would be a super neat thing to learn how to do. Since i've never done anything like it before besides like, those little books we'd make in elementary school with folded printer paper and a staple gun, I'm looking for outside advice!

I got a very nice sci-fi book from my dad, but calling it well-loved is an understatement.

It's torn completely in half, but in my (limited) experience it's still salvageable. Like, as a book, it's still usable, i can and do read it i'm just careful with the outermost pages of each chunk.

I'd like to try my hand at rebinding this book, just as a beginner side project, since it's here and I already own it and nobody will read it except me, so who cares if the binding job is sloppy or crooked?

Each half is mostly solid, although the cover pieces and outer pages are only hanging on by threads.

The paper of the spine is pretty cracked, but the two cover pieces are in pretty good condition except for nicks and fraying around the edges.

the second chunk has a hole in the top page, but it only takes out like two words and i'm ninety percent sure i can extrapolate the blanks from the context if/when i patch that page.

It's about 860 pages long not counting the non-story ones like title pages, about the author, etc. I know there's a limit for how many pages certain binding styles can handle.

it's also printed on like, i don't know the name for it but it's that really thin yellowish paper that a ton of those old paperbacks are printed in (is pulp fiction the right word?)

Since it's a paperback, it doesn't have endpapers per se. Whatever cover I made and attached, would I need endpapers to glue to the inner cover? Would it be better to sacrifice the existing first and last pages to be endpapers (which i don't mind doing since the first has a story snippet and the last is blank), or better to glue dedicated endpapers to the text block at the same time I glue the two chunks together?

I don't really have a preference on hardback or paperback cover, I think hardbacks are easier for beginners to make?

I'd like to preserve the cover or at least the design of it somehow, so one of my ideas is to scan the cover and spine and print them out bigger onto a larger piece of paper if I decide to go with a hardback cover.

The second chunk has the paper of the spine on it (also hanging on by a thread). I'm not sure if I should scrape off the leftover spine paper/glue that's on the spines of the text blocks before I glue on a cover, or if it'll be fine to glue a fresh cover on top of it (after separating the graphic paper of the spine).

In terms of materials, I actually own a bottle of acid free archival quality book glue (I bought it ages ago in hopes of patching another book that tore in half from use), I have plenty of scrapbooking paper and cotton fabric left over from other projects, and I think my local makerspace has a dedicated bookbinding press!

It's a neat story, but the physical book itself has no sentimental value to me or my dad, so if I can't fix it I'll just buy a fresh copy and sacrifice this one as material for other paper crafts. I just thought it'd be a fun place to start learning how to bookbind, rather than trying to format and print and shape a fresh text block from scratch.

If you need more info about this project, please ask and I'm happy to share it. Any advice is appreciated, and thank you in advance!

[odysseywritings]

The Better Sister

@flashfictionfridayofficial

My older sister came over for the first time since Dad's funeral. We talked about important things over the phone but we stopped being close by the time she moved to the city with a lucrative career lined up for her. It was strange seeing her outside of a holiday, and when I asked her why she visited, she said it was something to do while her boyfriend visited his own family. She helped me pick up branches scattered in the yard after a nasty storm.

"So," Cheryl said in between the cleaning, "have you kept up with painting?"

"A bit," I replied with little energy. "Not many people here really want what I make. And it's hard to get anyone on the Internet unless I'm a great marketer."

She nodded and added, "You know, Dana, if you're looking for extra money, you could go into programming like me."

"I tried, but it's too complicated, even with beginner courses. I just wish there was more stuff here where I could... I don't know, feel successful and happy."

"Honestly, that probably won't happen if you stay here. If you want my opinion, Dana, you should put more faith in yourself. Otherwise, you'll be stuck here feeling miserable."

I don't know why I was so mad at her for that. It wasn't wrong, but how she said it, like it was so obvious. Maybe things were just easier when she was the smarter and prettier one and didn't get why I might've struggled more. I just wish she helped me more before she left. I grit my teeth and put on my best face.

"Maybe. I do try, though. I recently got a raise at my job despite the headache it's giving me, haha."

"That's good to show some ambition. Glad to see you coming out of your shell. Looks like we're done anyway so let's get back inside."

"Okay, but it's not looking good. Mom got worse with the hoarding after Dad passed away."

"God. Is she home now?"

"No, out shopping. Kinda glad because we can just relax."

We walked on a clear path surrounded by mountains of CDs, books, movies, tools, food cans, magazines, newspapers, and other items that merged into towering mounds of junk. I cleared up some room on the couch as we channel surfed. Mom's cat Robert Scritchum jumped up to greet Cheryl with needy affection as she made voices and messed with his fur. I'd feel more like that if we got him while the house and our mental states were in better condition.

We ended up watching a bad b-movie about an alien failing to kill a bird with a laser gun to keep things breezy. The mindless movie just made me overthink about the future. Would things be alright if I moved out and left Mom alone? Should I stay and try to tough out my issues?

I just wasn't cut out for this dilemma with my mental and physical issues. Every view into the window hurt my heart no matter what I chose. Cheryl would've handled this better. She was always the smarter one. The flow of overwhelming thoughts burrowed into my brain with an absentminded "It should've been you who stayed."

I looked back at the TV and then at Cheryl. She heard me say that aloud.

"You want me to stay here?"

My face burned and my gut sank. That wasn't supposed to spill out and now she'd think I was guilt tripping her.

"I didn't mean it, it just came out!"

Cheryl's face was hard to read and fixed on me. Her shoulders relaxed and put her hand on mine to calm my nerves. My heart rate slowed and I could breathe and think easier.

"I just had a bunch of thoughts and one of them accidentally came out. It's like... You were the responsible, rational sister. Thinking about the future of the house and Mom and your career. You would've handled that way better than me. I'm trying, it's just..."

Tears rolled without realizing it, and her hand held mine tighter, and she looked at me with gentle eyes.

"Hey, Dana, look. I appreciate what you're saying, but it's not that simple. I just can't come back to this life. Not with how I've been living now. And you shouldn't have to burden yourself with this. I don't know the right answer for you, but you've got a lot of resilience to put up with a lot of this and still be you. No matter what, Mom and I will support whatever you choose. Just please don't stress too much about it."

I sniffled and leaned over to hug her, trying to not get my runny nose on her shirt. I don't know how much of that solved anything but it was nice to just say it and to hear her without judgement. Whatever tension there was went away as we continued watching the cheesy movie and could laugh more freely. For the first time in years, we felt like sisters again.

[beesartandstuffs]

Shot in the Dark: Interim- Chapter 4

(oh, did I say the next few days? It’s today :3

Also, please not that while this chapter is written in second person, it is not a reader-insert.

Don’t forget to LIKE, COMMENT and REBLOG!!!)

SHOT IN THE DARK MASTERLIST (find more stories here!)

~~~

It would be easy to say that your life goal has been very simple: Reunite with your parents and live the rest of your lives in peace. That's all you wanted, at first. That's the only thing that made sense.

Well, besides the fact that your mother was dead. For some reason, that never really deterred you. 

You remember the look on your uncle's face when you first said you wanted to see her. In retrospect, you feel bad. The lines on his forehead had deepened and he was speechless for a moment as you waited expectantly.

"Your… you can't see your mother anymore, Liam," he had said to you, as gently as he could. His eyes were misty but resolute. "We buried her in November, remember? Did you want to visit her graveside?"

You had shaken your head. No, you wanted to talk to her in person. You had questions that only she could answer. Uncle Damien hadn't been able to say anything else and Aunt Emma had spoken up. "Maybe we can talk about this when you're older, dear."

You were a reasonable child. You waited until about five years later, a week after your tenth birthday, to bring it up again. (You had waited a week in order to avoid interrupting the festivities.)

"I want to talk to my mom and dad," you had said, in the most grown-up tone you could muster.

Emma and Damien had exchanged glances.

Damien left to make a phone call.

All three of you woke up with bloody noses that night. 

~

Col. William was in a good mood when you sat across from him at the big metal table in the big cold room. A guard in a uniform stood nearby, but the Colonel was handcuffed. You weren't afraid of him, anyway. 

“Hello, Dad,” you said in a friendly tone. You sat politely in the big chair, your feet dangling several inches from the ground, with your hands in your lap.

He didn't look up from his notebook for a while, but when he did, he looked surprised. "Well, good morning, my boy," he said kindly, even though it was early afternoon. "My name is William J. Barnum, but you may call me Colonel. I'd shake your hand, but…" He gestured with the handcuffs on his wrists. You smiled slightly, and he continued. "What brings a young lad like you to a place like this?"

So he'd forgotten already. Emma had warned you he would. "My name is Liam," you said patiently. "You forgot me, but I'm your son."

"Son?" He shook his head, laughing. "Oh, I can't have a son. Celine would never allow that to happen. Her husband is quite the unpredictable man, you know."

Celine. Your mother. You grasped onto that, leaning forward. "What was Celine like, Colonel?"

He paused and tilted his head. "Celine is… strong. Stubborn, but brilliant, vivacious, enrapturing…" A sigh escaped his lips and he smiled dreamily. "My first love. My only love, truly."

Quickly, before you thought to lose your nerve, you asked, "Was she a witch?"

"Heavens no!" You were thankful that the Colonel laughed, instead of being offended. "Goodness, where could you get an idea like that? Ah, wagging tongues, most likely. Most unfortunate." Shaking his head, he looked down at his journal and laughed to himself. "No, she was not a witch, my boy. She was fascinated with the supernatural, had been since she was but a slip of a girl. I never discouraged her, but… I'll admit I did worry." He shook his head again, his smile fading. "But she was always quite a bit smarter than I, so I didn't question her. I assumed she knew what she was getting into." 

Suddenly, he frowned, and looked up at you. The sharp gaze of his dark eyes was sad but incredibly intelligent. "... How could this be?" he asked softly. "She told me she gave you up."

It took you a moment to realize that he knew who you were. "She did. Uncle Abe found me and took me to Emma and Damien."

He nodded, not seeming surprised. "Honest Abe… so he did hear me," he murmured. "You're a fortunate boy. Damien's probably a better father than I could ever be."

You never even tried, you thought you might like to say. But you didn't, because your father was here and he recognized you and you could be a family now.

"They'll raise you to be a good man," he continued, and your heart dropped. "I'm not getting out of here any time soon, so I hope you visit me again. It'll be a nice change from only seeing Abe every few months."

"But—" This isn't how it's supposed to go. You found him, he knows you. He's supposed to take care of you. "Why can't I stay with you?"

He smiled, and this one was sadder than ever. "Prison isn't a good place to raise a growing boy, I'm afraid. Besides, I'm…" He looked down at his journal. "I forgot again, didn't I? I remembered the wrong things."

"I remember wrong things too!" you insisted, but he shook his head gently at you, not looking up.

"Not like this. Like this, I'd… I couldn't do right by you. Emma and Damien are good people, they aren't… like me."

"What's wrong with you?" you demanded, hurt and scared and naive.

He didn't answer then, so you asked again. But he didn't say anything even when the guard came to pull you out. You weren't sure why the guard had come until you felt moisture on your face and your throat was sore, and you realized you'd been crying, which had escalated into screaming, and you didn't know how to stop.

The guard passed you off to the warden, nursing a bloody nose, and you didn't remember hitting him but you were sorry, and you tried to apologize but the only noises you could make were sobs and cries like a wounded animal’s.

Uncle Abe was waiting for you in the front office. You couldn't stand the look on his face when he saw your state, so you turned your face away, allowing yourself to be handed off like a limp marionette and burying your face in his shoulder.

He didn't say anything to you as he buckled you into his cruiser, but he did squeeze your shoulder. You guessed that that was his attempt at comforting you, so you decided to appreciate it.

The warden came out to the car, then, and Abe shut the door to talk to him in relative private. After a subdued but tense conversation, the warden handed Abe a package, which he tucked into his jacket.

He didn't say anything at all until he asked if you wanted to get some ice cream, to which you nodded miserably.

He let you choose a park bench to enjoy your treats. You always got chocolate with liberal amounts of sprinkles, and he indulged in a simple scoop of strawberry.

The park bench was too tall for you, but you were a bit small for your age. You didn't mind getting to swing your legs, and it's hard to cry when you're eating ice cream, because the salt doesn't taste very good, so you were starting to feel better.

Abe passed his cone to one hand and reached over with the other to ruffle your wild black hair. "Didn't go how you expected, huh?"

Wordlessly, you shook your head. 

"That's okay, kid. Nothing can really prepare you for that." His hand fell back to his lap, and you contemplated his statement.

"What's wrong with… with William?" you asked finally, having decided not to call him by either "Colonel" or "Father", for he was neither your friend nor a paternal figure. He had forfeited that right.

Abe sighed, took off his hat and ran his hand over the fuzz on his head. "He's… well, I dunno for sure, kid. He's not all there, yknow? Forgets things. Remembers things wrong. Thinks things are true that aren't. Stuff like that."

"I do that too," you point out, because it's true. Just the night before you had woken up thinking you had a dog, and Damien had had to keep you from going out in the cold to find her because she had "gotten lost in the golf greens".

It still felt like you had a dog, but there was no dog there, so you'd decided to believe Damien.

Abe knew you weren't lying. He simply searched your face, nodding thoughtfully, and finished his ice cream with a pensive scowl. As you both crunched on your cones, he spoke up again. "Liam, there's something the Colonel wants you to have."

You immediately abandoned your determination to forget William ever existed. "A present? For me?"

A small grin crossed his face as he reached into his coat and pulled out a package wrapped in brown paper. You reached for it instinctively, then remembered yourself and placed your hands back in your lap, waiting for him to speak.

Taking note of your rarely-seen excitement, Abe passed the package to you. "I think there's a note inside, but it might be hard for you to re—"

Before he could even finish speaking, you'd already torn the string and paper off and were reading the handwritten note tucked inside the cover of a small, plain, blank notebook.

The note was written in elegant but firm script. Some of the words were crossed out and rewritten, and you noticed that most of them were when he referred to things in the present when really they were in the past— a mistake you'd been known to make as well.

My Dear Son William Jr.,

I hasten to write this while I still have my mind. It comes and goes these days, and I fear that you may be predisposed to the same problems. Hence, this little gift.

My boy, sometimes the world will not make sense to you. Sometimes, you may forget things, or remember something that didn't really happen. In times like that, it may be helpful to have something you can look back on, something that you know is correct and unchangeable. 

The written word is a powerful thing, my boy, and I pray that someday you realize just how true that statement is. 

This journal is a tool, my dear son, to help you keep your mind in order. Everything you experience, every thought you have, write it down in this little book. It may feel silly at first, but I promise you, the minute you remember something that no-one else does, you can look back in this book and find the truth.

I hope you find it useful.

All my love,

The Colonel

~~~

~~

~

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[punkscowardschampions]

Bea & Fraze

Bea: 👓 Fraze: ⛔ Bea: You'll get a right headache Fraze: Nah Fraze: Be more of one if I put 'em on 🤓 Bea: 🙄 Bea: be so 😎 when you don't pass this test Fraze: I ain't gonna either way Bea: Not with that attitude Bea: why not Fraze: Didn't study, like Fraze: too busy Bea: can't see, like Bea: such a bullshit excuse Fraze: Fuck off, I can see Bea: Alright well the squint doesn't look cute so you'll want to knock that on the head Fraze: Nobody's looking my way but you, babe Fraze: This ain't a paper to cheat off Bea: Better 🤞 they ain't Bea: since you're so concerned what they reckon, apparently Fraze: what are you on one for? Bea: you're distracting me with all your faces Bea: just put 'em on, idiot Fraze: You're distracting me with all this bullshit, that I'm reading easy, by the way Fraze: You know you're copycatting my Ma right now, yeah? That don't sound cute so you'll wanna knock it on the head even faster Bea: Not the same, your phones not even a foot from your face Fraze: And? Bea: 🤓 go sit up front Fraze: fuck that Bea: exactly Bea: what's the big deal anyway Fraze: you're the only one making a big deal out of it Fraze: like I said, Ma will be well proud Bea: whatever Bea: be like that then Fraze: Like what? Fed up that I'm getting a headache off you Fraze: Stop kicking off and get your own test done Bea: Bollocks Bea: you know why you've got a headache, even if you refuse to do anything about it Fraze: I ain't asking you to do anything about it except shut up Fraze: give it a shot if you wanna help, like Bea: you shut up Bea: go lie in a dark room Bea: that'll be cool Fraze: Miss ain't letting me go mid test, feeling fake sick is the oldest trick in the book Fraze: catch yourself on, she has Bea: it's not even fake Bea: you'll be seeing spots in a few Fraze: Who died and made you such a fucking expert? Bea: don't take a genius, babe Fraze: Shame, prime showing off opportunity slipping through your fingers there Bea: Get the chance when I ace this, won't I Fraze: 'Course Fraze: probably wanna concentrate then, yeah? Bea: what are you gonna do? Fraze: I reckon I'll text some girls who ain't you Bea: yeah, that's what I meant Bea: and that'll help Fraze: It won't hurt Fraze: Unlike the suggestions I'm ignoring from you Bea: Your funeral Bea: didn't you listen either Bea: if you don't get at least 50% you've got to come back and do it again at lunch Fraze: Me and Miss, it's a date Bea: enjoy Fraze: Cheers Bea: [slides him notes along the floor that's like everything from the board in as few words as possible 'cos that bitch] Bea: get it 'fore your mate does Fraze: [obvs takes he cos not gonna pass up that opportunity] Fraze: Why'd you bother? Bea: not like it took me long Fraze: Yeah but it ain't like you're gonna miss me that much at lunch Bea: Obviously Bea: idk does it matter Fraze: You tell me, you're the one being proper helpful today Bea: yeah don't say thanks or anything Fraze: Alright I won't Bea: 🙄 Fraze: You done already? Bea: yeah Fraze: fucking hell Bea: I ain't sending you the answers next Bea: before you even ask Fraze: Come on Bea: you ain't thick Bea: you can do it yourself Bea: and I wouldn't want to interrupt your lunchdate Fraze: Worth a try Bea: put half that effort in with your work Bea: mum enough for you? Fraze: 😂 Fraze: Yeah, you nailed it Bea: 👍 Bea: I'll take my bow Fraze: Let me get my 👓 on first, I'd be gutted to miss it, babe Bea: Funny Fraze: Nah but I'm trying to get this done, ain't I Bea: oh what, you'll be so much funnier when you're not busy Bea: sure 👌 Fraze: shut up Fraze: 'course I would Fraze: ask anyone in here, my rep precedes me Bea: maybe they've just got low-standards Fraze: Funny Bea: I'm done so Bea: got the time Fraze: not gonna clap for you like a proud Ma Bea: s'alright Bea: plenty will Bea: you focus Fraze: Let me then Fraze: Think about your 🌟s and head pat 🤓 Bea: like I care Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: I could be legit blind and still see how much you give a shit Bea: not about what anyone here thinks Bea: getting the grades to be where I wanna be, obviously Bea: what else is there, not gonna waste my time here when we've got to be Fraze: Never said it was for 'em, did I? Fraze: smarter than that, cheers Fraze: Even if this test don't show it Bea: I don't care what Miss reckons either Bea: and I said you weren't thick Bea: don't need to impress me Fraze: 'Cause Miss don't know fuck all and you're still the smartest person I know Fraze: I ain't trying to impress you, if you are, you are, babe Bea: Didn't say either way Fraze: whatever Bea: how you doing Fraze: give me the answers to the last couple and I'll be alright Bea: really Fraze: Why not? Fraze: what else you doing? Bea: you're such a pisstake Fraze: I'll be your best mate Bea: 😂 Bea: what an offer Fraze: told you I'm funny Bea: funny enough to be bezzies is another question Bea: hmm Fraze: You've got time to think it over, already heard that brag, like Fraze: can have more too if we fuck off after this Bea: yeah Bea: a valid point Bea: we've only got bullshit left today so Fraze: and I've got a headache Fraze: we both know what the best cure for that is Bea: 🍾? Fraze: Exactly Fraze: I got some hidden Bea: See? Bea: smarter than you look Fraze: You can just admit you're impressed now Bea: nah Bea: see how I feel after a few Fraze: there's 🚬 as well Bea: when did you get them Fraze: [throws her a smug look like 😏 IRL excuse him miss whoever] Bea: [looks back and pretends to be 😒 if the teacher looks but can't help but be a lil 😏] Bea: seriously where was I Fraze: [does an exaggerated stretch and puts his feet up on his desk to signal he's done cos pleasure to have in class] Fraze: dunno Bea: ugh Bea: how many have you saved me Fraze: loads Bea: awh Bea: cheers Fraze: What can I say? Great manners Bea: I'll tell your mum Bea: so proud 💘 Fraze: I'll take any good lad points I can get Bea: how many mates are you bringing for those points then? Fraze: For now you'll do Fraze: you really know how to stroke an ego, like Fraze: make a boy feel decent about himself Bea: not what mates are for Bea: you've been doing it wrong boys Fraze: 😂 Bea: I'll put a good word in for you with girls that ain't your ma Bea: how's that Fraze: I don't need your help Bea: sure Fraze: and what makes you reckon they'd listen to you? It'd put 'em off if anything Bea: why would it Bea: rude Fraze: just saying, not your mates, are they? Bea: doesn't matter Bea: everyone knows I'm smart Bea: regardless Fraze: book smart ain't people smart Fraze: they don't know you're that Bea: don't patronize me Fraze: don't be patronized when I ain't being Bea: yes, you are Bea: like I'm some stunted loser that can't speak to people Fraze: I'm saying none of 'em ever have a clue what's going on, that's it Bea: no shit Fraze: So get over yourself, it weren't about taking the piss out of you Bea: fuck off Bea: what was it about then Bea: telling me shit I already know Fraze: you fuck off Fraze: one rule for you, yeah? Bea: Asking where your fucking glasses are isn't patronizing Fraze: Treating me like a fucking kid is Bea: you act like one Fraze: fuck you Bea: seriously Bea: you can't see, just put them on, it's not hard Fraze: mind your own business, it's not hard Bea: fine Fraze: good Bea: bye then Fraze: Jesus, they're broken, alright Fraze: are you happy now? Bea: No Bea: how broken though? Fraze: am I fucking optician like? Bea: well is it the frame or the lens'? Bea: because we can fix the frame Fraze: If I put 'em on I'd look like the kitchen window after Joe took that wanky free kick and busted it but I said it was me Bea: Hmm Bea: okay, so you need to tell your ma and yeah she'll have a go about looking after your shit better but under 16s are free so it won't be massive drama Bea: until then we can steal one of those carbon copy pads from the art room, easy two sets of notes Fraze: That's actually a decent idea Fraze: first one you've had Fraze: almost reckoned you'd lost the knack, babe Bea: piss off Bea: you know I hadn't and how often I have them Fraze: don't make me actually laugh Bea: no laughing matter, boy Bea: you're such a 🃏 Fraze: [drumming the tune of ace of ♠s with his pencil on his desk so she can hear cos pleasure to have in class again ha] Bea: wow wanna start a band Bea: sure Joe will be in Fraze: 'Cause what he needs is more groupies Fraze: fuck that Bea: 😂 Bea: idk if he's there yet Bea: or they'd like that term Fraze: can we get out of here yet or what? Bea: Oh so you think we're cool again Bea: just 'cos I've solved all your problems Fraze: Come on, you know you wanna go Bea: Maybe Fraze: You don't wanna be stuck here, ain't no maybe about that, babe Bea: alright Bea: let's go Fraze: yeah Bea: can we 🚬 before we run Fraze: 'Course Fraze: who the fuck do you reckon you're asking, like? Bea: 😏 Bea: alright Bea: calm down Fraze: That ain't really me either, is it? 😏 Bea: 😱 are you saying I don't know you that well after-all? Fraze: you ain't got nothing to prove to me Bea: damn right Fraze: [let's say the bell goes so they can leave] Bea: [hit up that smoking spot lads] Fraze: [5ever a mood but don't get caught thank you] Bea: [don't need that today they'd be pros by now] Fraze: [when you're so little still but so grown oh my heart] Bea: [probably the youngest there awh] Fraze: [they so would be, little badasses that can hold their own and Bea is the smolest lil egg] Bea: [when you're cute so sketchy older boys always let you hang its just a thing] Fraze: [and when you could beat older lads in a fight and probably have] Bea: [#squad] Fraze: [gotta go get the booze from the hiding spot, probably buried Alaska style ha, none of the rest of y'all are invited bye] Bea: [toodles] Fraze: [where should we send 'em? playground or somewhere more secret so they won't get spotted?] Bea: [hmm probably be snekky] Fraze: [good plan] Bea: [I don't think Rocky has been born yet so they could attempt the house first lol] Fraze: [oh yeah good point let's send 'em there first and then they can always run if they think they hear someone should we want] Bea: [risque, they would, also not a huge walk] Fraze: [exactly dr phil] Bea: [okay so it is a bit cliche but in a good way I think, 'cos usually these moments are like you're for some reason close enough to kiss and then you just look at each other after a MomentTM and it's like welp, anyway, what if one of the 'rents does pop back for something so they have to get in a wardrobe sitch and hide 'til they gone?] Fraze: [omg yes because I call bullshit on adults/teens fitting in most wardrobes when peeps try and pull that shit but she's smol so believable] Bea: [he'll have to crouch but deal boy] Fraze: [love that for him haha] Bea: [even closer casually] Fraze: [when you're gonna have to get out and pretend none of it ever happened] Bea: [oh lads, good times] Fraze: [story of years of their lives literally] Bea: [soon children] Fraze: [Ali's cat should do something to almost lowkey give away their location since there's no dog yet, remember when Clove was throwing herself at the door lol] Bea: [heheheheh oh bluebs at least you will be ignored orrrr we could get 'em in trouble, means they wouldn't get chance to gloss over in person so we could do awks convo on messenger later] Fraze: [okay so he makes 'em go to work with him and to separate 'em for our own ends we could say Bea is counting stock in the back and he's cleaning up somewhere else idk pub stuff] Bea: [yes, that about sums it up, just in such bad moods lmao you could've been shame-walked into school] Fraze: [at least we can start 'em complaining] Bea: why have you got an easier job Fraze: how'd you reckon? Bea: there's 0 thought involved Bea: I may as well have stayed in school Fraze: there's loads of 💪 involved Fraze: wanna swap, like? Bea: 🙄 Bea: obviously not Bea: how would I manage Fraze: You're a girl, be fucked if you couldn't hack cleaning Bea: you're such a twat Fraze: Don't mean I'm wrong Bea: doesn't mean you're right either Bea: rude doesn't mean it's a harsh truth automatically Fraze: 'Course not but this one's bang on Fraze: Look at my Ma, spends her life picking up after us lot Bea: that's her choice Bea: don't have to be a mum Fraze: you don't wanna then? Bea: no Bea: why would you Bea: like you said, all she does is pick up after us Fraze: must be more to it than that or no fucker would bother Fraze: don't get nearly enough handouts to be in it for the cash Bea: nah don't be thick Bea: most are accidents Bea: or to fix the fuckups with the previous Fraze: Pretty obvious which I fall into, golden boy too Fraze: It don't need to be your turn to tell me shit I already know now, just 'cause you're bored Bea: not shattering any illusions Bea: but you asked so Fraze: I asked about you, not what the standard is around here Fraze: I ain't planning in following in any of these fuckers footsteps Fraze: or coming to 'em for childcare tips Bea: and you think I am? Bea: not one for the parenting books but could be worse I guess Fraze: you ain't talking about moving the goalposts, babe Fraze: why wouldn't you if you can do it better Fraze: goes for anything Bea: I can think of plenty of things I'd rather do Fraze: Me too but eventually I'll have done all them Bea: you gonna be one of those middle-aged dads running around after a toddler then Fraze: Be rude not to knock out a few with my supermodel missus before I run off with the hot nanny, like Fraze: give her something to remember me by and shit to do when the work dries up Bea: 😂 Fraze: what you laughing for, don't you reckon it's a good plan? Bea: I reckon you shouldn't repeat that to anyone else Fraze: alright but you should've said you were that desperate to have a secret with me 'cause I reckon I could've done loads better Bea: I'd hope so Bea: that's kid's stuff, like Fraze: you done treating me like one then? Bea: depends Fraze: on? Bea: you Bea: not acting like one Bea: obviously Fraze: I don't, obviously Bea: okay Fraze: come on, say it with feeling, babe Bea: Maybe when there's some proof Fraze: are you out later? Bea: are we allowed out later is the question Fraze: it's only the question if you're a little kid Fraze: I'm going, come with Bea: where? Fraze: you'll see if you ain't too scared of my Ma's wrath, like Bea: yeah right Fraze: I dunno, sounded like you were gonna pussy out there then Bea: I just don't like to waste my time Bea: nothing wrong with that Fraze: I don't waste your time Fraze: ain't ever Bea: didn't say you did Fraze: If I invite you out it's worth going and I did Bea: alright Bea: we can see Bea: not like homework is much to compete with Fraze: Cheers for ranking me above it, know how much of a swot you are Bea: shut up Fraze: Like to see you try and make me Fraze: just keep counting, babe Bea: easy Bea: you're clearly working hard enough to lecture me Fraze: Thought you might be missing Miss Bea: you're the one who wants her to be your first cliche Fraze: Nah, just 'cause she's missing me don't make it mutual Bea: 😏 Fraze: what can I say? Pleasure to have me in class is all hers Bea: definitely not the rest of ours, like Fraze: I'm well gutted I don't make your day Bea: Obviously Fraze: Yeah Bea: I'll survive Fraze: you and me both Bea: thank god Fraze: I told you there's no need to tell me shit I already know and how lost you'd be without me falls under that Bea: you reckon Fraze: Obviously Bea: Mm Bea: anyway Fraze: 😏 Bea: shame all these bottles can't go missing Fraze: but a few of 'em could Bea: you reckon Fraze: don't you reckon? Bea: I don't wanna fuck over your dad Bea: but I am doing stock so realistically Bea: one or two wouldn't be missed Fraze: one or two ain't gonna bankrupt him Fraze: it'll only matter to us Bea: okay Bea: I'll put them behind the bins, don't forget Fraze: I won't Bea: I ain't sharing with every fucker either Bea: make it last just me and you okay Fraze: 'Course Fraze: they ain't sticking their necks out, that's me and you Bea: right Bea: exactly Fraze: we'll ditch 'em easy Bea: always do Bea: though they're pretty persistent, give 'em that Fraze: Pleasure of your company, babe Bea: 'Course Bea: never mind if they get a sniff of booze or cigs Fraze: there's the secret you wanted then Bea: Yay Bea: let you off for telling me what I already know there as well Fraze: Playing nice for as long as the stolen goods last, yeah? Bea: I'm doing the actual stealing Bea: you gonna snitch? Bea: doubt that Fraze: fuck off Fraze: I ain't that cunt Bea: I know Bea: I'm saying, I don't need to play nice Fraze: You don't know how Fraze: It's why I'm miss' fave even though you get all the gold stars Bea: 😂 Bea: don't make me laugh Fraze: why not? Fraze: we ain't in that much trouble Bea: because I don't wanna Fraze: come on Bea: why? Fraze: why not? I asked that first Bea: Because I'll look insane Bea: in here on my own Bea: stocktake isn't the height of hilarity Fraze: stop before you get hysterical, like Bea: har dee ha Bea: you're never that funny, boy Fraze: You never get me in that good of a mood Bea: who does Fraze: I'll let you know when I meet 'em Bea: so sweet Fraze: shut up Bea: no, I mean it Bea: so adorable Bea: 💘 Fraze: and I mean it, shut up Bea: so sensitive Fraze: don't take the piss Bea: calm down Fraze: don't fucking tell me to calm down either Bea: jesus Bea: what's the issue Fraze: what's your issue? Bea: Nothing Bea: I'm fine Bea: you're being weird Fraze: You're being more of a bitch than standard Bea: Not really Bea: you're being more of a pussy Fraze: No I ain't Bea: sure Fraze: I'd be a pussy if I let you bullshit and didn't say fuck all Bea: What's your point here? Fraze: Why do I need one but you're a twat for the sake of? Bea: I ain't but whatever Bea: this has been boring for too long Fraze: Yeah, that shit we can agree on Bea: great Bea: happy days Fraze: what do you want? Bea: nothing from you Bea: I am going to see if I can go Bea: homework would be a better use of my time Fraze: He's a pushover, mention a deadline and he'll be convinced Bea: Yeah Bea: I've met him before Fraze: One of those involved, toddler chasing da's, like Bea: Not old though Bea: or a total cliche Fraze: Let him know, there's worse ways to point score Bea: tah Bea: I reckon I've got this Bea: you get in trouble much more than I ever do Fraze: see you later then Bea: TTFN Bea: I'm taking the bottles Fraze: whatever Fraze: they're yours Bea: I mean you don't need to try and get them in the car with your dad Fraze: like I was worried Bea: I'm not asking for a thanks, I'm just saying, they're gone Fraze: alright Bea: ✌ Fraze: Go do your homework 🤓 Bea: you as naive as your dad? Fraze: don't be stupid Bea: then don't take the piss Fraze: so sensitive Bea: so funny, you Fraze: I keep telling you Bea: Trust me, I know Bea: you've got more planned than talking tonight, yeah? Fraze: I ain't planning on doing any talking Bea: then I'm still in Fraze: you weren't ever out Bea: so sure Fraze: yeah Bea: well Bea: you know there's nothing better to do around here Fraze: obviously, I live here too Bea: 💔 Fraze: You sound it Bea: not as much as you Bea: gutted Fraze: Nah Bea: mhm Bea: 👑🍀 Fraze: Have a drink, it'll make you less of a wind up Bea: brave Bea: I could drink through your share Fraze: Like I said, its yours Fraze: I didn't do fuck all Bea: you would've if you could so Bea: only fair Bea: I didn't get the cigarettes or drink earlier did I Fraze: whatever Fraze: we didn't get to drink much earlier, barely counts Bea: need a better spot Bea: somewhere between home comforts and hiding from cops/nosey concerned citizens god knows where Fraze: I'll think of something Fraze: like you said, don't need my 🧠 for what my da's got me doing Bea: still more fun than double english, yeah? Fraze: Well yeah Fraze: 'course Bea: so no need to complain, like Fraze: I'm just saying, I'll sort it Fraze: no more interruptions Bea: no more wardrobes Fraze: don't need neckache and a headache, like Fraze: it ain't gonna keep me off school tomorrow Bea: have as much chance as growing pains Bea: no sympathy for your plight Fraze: they are fucked though Fraze: not that you'd know Bea: don't take your rage out on me Bea: you can reach the top shelf Bea: there are no perks to being small, lurch Fraze: 'course there are Fraze: you can get away with loads of shit Fraze: just 'cause you look cute Bea: well you fucked that from the off being born a boy Bea: no one would be calling you cute Bea: maybe your ma 💕 Fraze: 😂 Bea: 😏 Fraze: you home yet? Bea: yeah Bea: still a while before the others descend Fraze: give the cat a swift kick for us before they do Bea: I'm not committing animal abuse for you Bea: I won't feed it, because I'm certain it does not need it Fraze: shit partner in crime you are Bea: excuse you Bea: maybe we should go over the approved and not crimes, like Fraze: too late for that, ain't it Fraze: you know too much to just be replaced Bea: you're really gonna murder me to end it all Fraze: don't take the chance Fraze: behave better than that snitch of a cat Bea: 😒 Bea: you've got more chance 💀 me than telling me to 'behave' Fraze: lucky I don't want you to then Fraze: tonight'd be proper boring Bea: yeah? Fraze: yeah Bea: your friends ain't MY favourites but Bea: bit harsh from you Bea: they'll be 💔 Fraze: don't make me laugh Bea: come on Bea: why not Fraze: you got out, I'm still pissed at you Bea: no you are not Fraze: already aced one test today, fancy your odds? Bea: it's subjective Bea: no proving it either way Fraze: take me at my word that proves it Bea: but you're also saying you still wanna go out later so that contradicts it Fraze: I don't have to like you to have a drink with you Bea: but you do Fraze: don't flatter yourself Bea: fuck off Fraze: you first Bea: why are you bothered Bea: you don't mind being at the pub Bea: I know your dad ain't working you to the bone Fraze: Still don't compare to being home alone doing whatever you want Bea: don't worry, not like I've got time to throw a massive party Fraze: not like you would Bea: you don't know Fraze: bullshit Fraze: I know you Bea: obviously not Fraze: are you kidding yourself yet babe 'cause you ain't me Bea: you're such a dick Fraze: why are you bothered? Fraze: you don't need to impress me Bea: I'm not trying to Bea: I'm telling you how it is Bea: you're rude Fraze: to you 'cause you are to me Bea: oh yeah 😂 well special Bea: you're a delight to everyone else Fraze: unless there's a gun to your head, feel free to fuck off then Bea: I have Bea: be more mad about it Bea: not gonna be here when you're back, easy Fraze: What's your problem today? Fraze: you were alright earlier Bea: yeah well Fraze: What? Bea: forget about it Fraze: So you can avoid me, fuck that Bea: I don't appreciate being called a loser by you Fraze: I never said you were Bea: Bullshit Bea: you've been doing nothing but Fraze: Bullshit Bea: whatever Fraze: it's not Fraze: I ain't mates with no losers, you know Bea: well you don't like me do you Fraze: Don't be thick, it don't suit you Bea: Couldn't if I tried Bea: but thanks, that was ALMOST a backhanded compliment Fraze: Shut up, I just said I like you Bea: good Fraze: You gonna stop sulking now then? Bea: I am not sulking Bea: quit whilst you're even Fraze: Whatever Fraze: Are you gonna run off when I get back or not then? Bea: No Bea: dead giveaway, your dad ain't that much of a pushover Bea: your mum needs to see we're in before we ain't Fraze: so you are scared of her Fraze: knew it Bea: again, no Bea: idiot Bea: I'd just rather not get caught Fraze: we won't Fraze: she ain't caught me out doing anything for ages Bea: let's not get hyperbolic Bea: 🐈 managed it today so Fraze: yeah but if my Ma had been home she wouldn't have given a shit what the cat was doing Bea: maybe Fraze: come on, you know she'd have been in and out well before my da Bea: that has nothing to do with how clever you are Bea: or stealth Bea: so don't be cocky Fraze: never said that one did Fraze: I've got loads of other examples though Fraze: probably half of which you were there for Fraze: it ain't being cocky if you can back it up Bea: 😏 alright Bea: the others are back, Joe was on wrangling duty alone so he's in a good mood Fraze: always is Bea: yeah but you forgot, they had play rehearsal so he had to stick around for that joy 😬😂 Fraze: 😂 Bea: they're STILL singing Bea: even if I wanted to do homework Fraze: come walk with me, he's letting me off Bea: you need a chaperone too? Bea: okay Fraze: armed guard, like Fraze: that much of a troublemaker Bea: shh Bea: you're making me laugh and I don't want to encourage any of 'em Fraze: 🤐 Fraze: hurry up then Bea: alright alright Bea: lemme put my shoes on Fraze: you better I ain't carrying you home Bea: weakling Bea: I'm SO small, remember Fraze: it ain't 'cause I couldn't, princess Bea: well that's just mean Fraze: we've called a truce for now, like Fraze: don't mean I'm gonna play that nice Bea: however will I cope Bea: 🙄😏 Fraze: the booze will help Bea: your da recruited you for promotion? Fraze: would if he was smart Bea: trademark it Bea: not sure its an original concept but can work around that Fraze: 👍 Bea: be outside, I don't wanna hang about, like Fraze: alright princess, calm down Bea: k I'll get murdered Bea: you live with that Fraze: I'm not gonna let anything happen to you Fraze: don't be dramatic Bea: when the audience demands it Fraze: what? Bea: you're all about the dramatics, don't lie Fraze: you got my mates with you then? Bea: they didn't come knocking askinf if you could come out to play, no Bea: sorry Fraze: well there ain't any audience to worry about without 'em Fraze: I don't reckon you're that sorry Bea: I don't think you are either Bea: that's more of a story Fraze: if I wanted to piss about with 'em, I would Fraze: I picked you Fraze: end of story Bea: to me, yeah Fraze: I don't owe 'em fuck all Fraze: don't worry about it Bea: do my best Bea: bless 'em 💔 Fraze: you don't know how to do anything else Bea: thought we weren't playing nice Fraze: it weren't a compliment Fraze: sounds fucking knackering to me Bea: that's why I do it, not you Fraze: cheers for falling on that bullet, babe Bea: not for your sake or anyone's but you are welcome Fraze: I know it's for your own sake Fraze: I ain't that much of a div Bea: Good Bea: bit awkward if not Fraze: you ain't the only one who wants to get out Bea: I know Fraze: good Bea: not long now Bea: grand scheme of things Fraze: how'd you work that out? it's ages Fraze: can't believe Da had you counting Bea: Shut up 😂 Bea: so we're about half-way Bea: it's called optimism Fraze: halfway is only nearly done if you're half arsing it, babe Fraze: that's realism or whatever Bea: Stop being pedantic Bea: 🤓 Fraze: I dunno that one, like Bea: trust me, you do Fraze: come on, what's it mean 🤓? Bea: excessively concerned with minor details or rules; overscrupulous. Fraze: 😂 Fraze: you reckon I care about rules? Bea: when it suits you Fraze: I do everything to suit me, why wouldn't I? Bea: Exactly 😂 Fraze: What the fuck are you doing, any slower and you'd be dead Fraze: it ain't that long of a walk Bea: I didn't just drop everything to run, God Bea: I'm basically there Fraze: Legit or the same as how you reckon halfway is nearly done? Bea: 😑 Bea: I can turn around Fraze: don't though Bea: I won't Bea: don't like wasting time, yeah Fraze: I ain't forgotten Bea: Good Bea: [show up hoe] Fraze: [when you can't stop yourself from smiling when you see her though cos that's just how it is Bea: [gurl same even if that wardrobe situation was awkward we all know you're about it] Fraze: [passes her the 🚬 he's been smoking while he waits cos we know she ain't got any] Bea: [nudging his shoe with hers like tah when she takes it, also probably start walking 'cos a pub isn't an ideal place to chill outside of] Fraze: [strutting together but we all know they have to take a detour because fuck going straight home, should we say playground or shop?] Bea: [let's say playground] Fraze: [always here for that, on you go lads, get amongst those older kids you shouldn't be hanging with but are] Bea: ['how'd you break your glasses then?'] Fraze: [shrugs cos he never wants to talk about fights that don't go perfect for him obvs] Bea: [a slight eye roll but changing tact 'when even, then?'] Fraze: ['the other day' be more vague boyyy] Bea: ['when are you gonna drop it on your mum?'] Fraze: ['dunno, depends if Da grasses us up for earlier or not'] Bea: [nods like true life, you know he wouldn't lmao] Fraze: ['I'll tell her tonight if he keeps his mouth shut, like'] Bea: ['gonna bother making up a story or you just gonna ride out the nag?' be thinking 'we had PE today, could say they got broke then'] Fraze: ['see, this is why I picked you over those useless fuckers' nudges her as he says it] Bea: [😏 but genuine under it, nudging back 'could lob a ball in your face for extra realism, if you like'] Fraze: [😏 back but then a genuine little lol] Bea: ['take that as a no' as she's going through park gate] Fraze: ['take it as I ain't as sure of your aim as you are, babe'] Bea: [scoffs 'if that were true, you'd be happy to let me try, duh'] Fraze: ['Fuck that, I'm saying you'd go too far 'cause you've been waiting for the chance to hurt me, not that you'd miss'] Bea: [evil smile like damn you got me but shakes her head and heads for an available swing] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah I keep saying I know you and throws someone off a swing so he can have the one next to her #truelove] Bea: [we all love a swing moment] Fraze: [soz random kid but she ain't your bae] Bea: [at least it won't be an actual kid this time of day lol, should be wearing school skirt for that moment of letting it fly but not showing your knickers, aka a dangerous game] Fraze: [yassss] Bea: [casual see how high you can go contest always] Fraze: [we should let her win cos he'd hate that but also be impressed af obvs] Bea: [heheheheh] Fraze: [he can jump off further though that'll please him] Bea: [yeah you don't need to be doing that in whatever lowkey heels you tryna wear to school bitch] Fraze: [don't hurt yourself bab] Bea: [there should be dickhead teens doing something dickheadish 'cos always] Fraze: [100%] Bea: [they'll have to walk away anyway 'cos not sharing their spoils so byebye] Fraze: [run babies run, take her sleeve and go boy] Bea: [that backpack be rattling a girl came out prepared] Fraze: [boy gotta offer to carry that cos gentlemanly you know] Bea: ['I managed this far, like' but gives it him anyway 'cos you may as well honey] Fraze: [gives her a look like yeah that's the point it's my turn now cos you've done your share] Bea: [gives him a look like cute] Fraze: [gives her a look like shut up] Bea: [lil lol] Fraze: [another genuine smile cos happy to be with the bae] Bea: [just talking about whatever shennanigans he missed at home] Fraze: [and he's filling her in about shit she missed at the pub it's like honey how was your day lol] Bea: [god bless 'em] Fraze: [when they are already a better couple than drow] Bea: [at least that's a ways away for everyone rn 'cos no one is less here for it than Bea] Fraze: [thank god ro and ali are living their best spooky kid lives rn] Bea: [they might be about to get separated tho? like soz] Fraze: [not yet I don't think cos it's when they 11ish and we said Rocky ain't born yet here but soon lads] Bea: [a few years then, defs living your best lives] Fraze: [we also need to think of a place for them to hang out like the hideaway way back when lol but more legit] Bea: [yes, like an allotment or a dump/wasteland moment, something not yours but shelter is there] Fraze: [that's 100% the vibe I was thinking too] Bea: [unless I can think of anything more specific we should go with that, I know in certain spots 'round here cars get stolen and left a lot so they could probs chill in them as and when they're found] Fraze: [oooh that's such a mood] Bea: [contaminate a crime scene honey] Fraze: [lol crack on kids, you know he's gonna open the door for her like a gentleman bye] Bea: [just giving him a look that's like amused like she's so over it and he's silly but also like oh and a LOOK 'cos we know] Fraze: [shamelessly giving her a LOOK back cos when has he ever given a fuck everyone knows he's in love with her at this point] Bea: [checking all the compartments in case they missed any good loot but probably not, maybe there's a lighter though] Fraze: [I approve wholeheartedly cos they'd be buzzing] Bea: [such sweet babies] Fraze: [I just keep screaming inside cos they're so young but crack that bottle open boy] Bea: [I hope you took something paletable girl] Fraze: [we know she knows her shit thanks creepy old dudes of the past] Bea: [truly, and can handle it so no embarrassing moments on that score] Fraze: [literally she'd be better than him on it but his pride and need to keep up would stop him from being cringe either] Bea: [you got this boy, she wouldn't let him get schwasted anyway lbr] Fraze: [not when you've gotta go home and tell Tess about your glasses boy] Bea: [exactly so they won't be knocking it back hardcore just taking that edge off sweaty] Fraze: [it's always one of those days for you two, we get it] Bea: [especially when you had a moment in the wardrobe lol] Fraze: [we all know he hasn't stopped thinking about it since it happened, god bless] Bea: [we should do a drinking game like best day/worst day but not that 'cos he knows lmao but like your funniest mem etc] Fraze: [it can just be happy ones we don't need to hurt ourselves] Bea: [keep it light lol] Fraze: [but don't think about how close him and Joe used to be and all those cute mems] Bea: [exactly it'd still get feelsy and emosh 'cos life they've been living but it isn't like let's go deep into the trauma] Fraze: [#bondingmoment cos you obvs aren't close enough you two] Bea: [its coming boys] Fraze: [imagine the texts from his friends that he's shamelessly ignoring rn] Bea: [boys are so highkey for the squad at that age] Fraze: [and you know he's #leaderofthepack of his school mates that are similar age to him so] Bea: [exactly dr phil] Fraze: [can we do another moment or is that flying too close to the sun?] Bea: [we absolutely can they obvs happen a lot] Fraze: [realistically who do you reckon should instigate it cos might be relevant in the aftermath] Bea: [hmm literally either or not to be annoying about it lol] Fraze: [maybe she should cos then she can also stop herself cos remember those younger years and he can be like wtf] Bea: [solid logic I'm wid it] Fraze: [bonus points if she stops herself before anything's really happened at all cos that bitch like its v subtle and other peeps might miss the cue but he be knowing cos he's that bitch] Bea: [yes absolutely hence you'd feel more awks bringing it up 'cos you could just gaslight him like what are you chatting about lol] Fraze: [literally cos you know that would've happened before on both sides] Bea: [mhmm, bonus of 'we were drunk' when you ain't even] Fraze: [you both know neither of you are even tipsy lads shut up but don't because so real]

[ineffablebffs]

1. A Better Son/Daughter by Rilo Kiley

Your ship may be coming in

You're weak but not giving in

To the cries and the wails of the valley below

And your ship may be coming in

You're weak, but not giving in

You'll fight it, you'll go out fighting all of them

(You'll be better

You'll be smarter and more grown up

And a better daughter or son)

2. Wake Up by Arcade Fire

Somebody filled up

My heart with nothing

Somebody told me not to cry

But now that I'm older

My heart's colder

I can see that it's a lie

3. Everything is Alright by The Glorious Sons

I'm the closest thing my mother had to a daughter

I used to be ashamed of that but now I'm kind of flattered

I learn that my weakness is a weapon anyway

So I haven't touched a pretty thing in forty days

4. The Mother We Share by CHVRCHES

Come in misery, where you can seem as old as your omens

And the mother we share

Will never keep your proud head from falling

The way is long, but you can make it easy on me

And the mother we share

Will never keep our cold heart from calling

5. BLOODMONEY by Poppy

I know what it feels like

To have my soul sucked out of my body

I finally know what it feels like

To be dead

Your soul can't be saved from the sins you've ignored

And the devil is well aware he is adored

Never forget the excess of a man

Because the grabbing hands always grab what they can

6. Video Game by Sufjan Stevens

I don’t wanna be the center of the universe

I don’t wanna be a part of that shame

In a way, I wanna be my own redeemer

I don’t wanna play your video game

I don’t care if everybody else is into it

I don’t care if it’s a popular refrain

I don’t wanna be a puppet in a theater

I don’t wanna play your video game

7. Rebellion (Lies) by Arcade Fire

People say that your dreams

Are the only things that save ya

Come on baby in our dreams,

We can live our misbehaviour

(Come on hide your lovers

Underneath the covers)

8. Reasons I Drink by Alanis Morissette

I have been working since I can remember, since I was single digits

Now, even though I've been busted

I don't know where to draw the line 'cause that groove has gotten so deep

And nothing can give reprieve like they do

Nothing can give a break for this soldier like they do

9. Black Sheep by Metric

Hello again

Friend of a friend, I knew you when

Our common goal was waiting for the world to end

Now that the truth is just a rule that you can bend

You crack the whip, shape-shift and trick, the past again

I'll send you my love on a wire

Lift you up, every time

Everyone, ooh

Pulls away, ooh

From you

10. Young and Menace by Fall Out Boy

We've gone way too fast for way too long

And we were never supposed to make it half this far

And I lived so much life, lived so much life

I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice

(Oops I did it again

I forgot what I was losing my mind about)

11. Red Heart by Hey Rosetta!

Were you born a closed book,

Full of secret lines? (and bound so tight)

Or did you learn to lock it,

As not to break your spine? (oh! you were bound so tight)

Cause you shut up

And you're all shut inside

12. Gay is Not A Synonym For Shitty by Fall Out Boy

I've loved everything about you that hurt

So let me see your moves, let me see your moves

Lips pressed close to mine

True blue

But the prince of any failing empire knows that

Everybody wants, everybody wants

To drive on through the night if it's a

Drive back home

13. Combat Baby by Metric

I want to be wrong but

No one here wants to fight me like you do

Combat baby come back baby

Fight off the lethargy

Don't go quietly

Combat baby

Said you would never give up easy

Combat baby come back

14. It's Not a Side Effect of the Cocaine, I Am Thinking it Must be Love by Fall Out Boy

All the ways you make my stomach turn

And all the long drives

With my friends blur

And I wish I kept them inside my mind

I hide behind these words

(But I'm coming out)

15. Ivy by Frank Ocean

I thought that I was dreamin' when you said you loved me

The start of nothin', I had no chance to prepare

I couldn't see you comin'

The start of nothin', ooh, I could hate you now

It's quite alright to hate me now

But we both know that deep down

The feeling still deep down is good

16. Blue Eyes by Mika

Your heart is broken

To your surprise

You're sick of crying

For blue eyes

(Come, sorrow is so peculiar

Comes in a day, then it'll never leave you)

17. The Fault in Our Stars by Troye Sivan

The weight

Of a simple human emotion

Weighs me down

More than the tank ever did

The pain

It's determined and demanding

To ache, but I'm OK

(You lost

A part of your existence

In the war against yourself)

18. Happy Ending by Mika

Wake up in the morning, stumble on my life

Can't get no love without sacrifice

If anything should happen, I'd guess I wish you well

Mm, a little bit of heaven, but a little bit of hell

(This is the way you left me

I'm not pretending

No hope, no love, no glory

No happy ending)

19. In Our Bedroom After the War by Stars

Wake up, say good morning to

That sleepy person lying next to you

If there's no one there, then there's no one there

But at least the war is over

20. Love Love Love by The Mountain Goats

Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun

But the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one

Love love is going to lead you by the hand

Into a white and soundless place

Now we see things as in a mirror dimly

Then we shall see each other face to face

~BONUS TRASH TRACKS~

21. The Archers Bows Have Broken by Brand New

What did you learn tonight?

You're shouting so loud, you barely joyous, broken thing

You're a voice that never sings, is what I say

You are freezing over hell

You are bringing on the end, you do so well

You can only blame yourself, it's what I say

22. All-American Boy by Steve Grand

Ripped jeans, only drinks whiskey

I find him by the fire while his girl was getting frisky, oh...

I say we go this road tonight

He smiles, his arm's around her

But his eyes are holdin' me, just a captive to his wonder, oh...

I say we go this road tonight