#OF COURSE i dont get along with rose makes a lot of sense

[princebete]

What color is your aura?

Sage 

herb clippings, macha, bullet journals, mini backpacks, needlefelts, pistachio, laptop stickers

your essence is sage:

   you are introspective and retreating

. everything is organized and planned ahead; you are meticulous, stacking up a card tower you can't let fall.   it is difficult for you to untwist your tongue and tell others you need them

. you are the observer. you are the writer gone off alone

. you find kinship in like-minded individuals of green, forest, honeysuckle, and seafoam, who share your guarded nature.

   you are also drawn to the self-expressive sky and apricot, who will help you grow and embolden you to say what you need. however, you may struggle to get along with the overly-emotional personalities of rose and cream who ask you to be too vulnerable.

Tagged by: @lifebreather

Tagging: @demoisellebeauty​ @petitebeaute​

​Link is here 

[laalaaliaa]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could write a titans x reader who doesn't celebrate their birthday. Like you just don't care about it, youll just go along with your day like you normally do because you dont wanna bother anyone. And unfortunately, the team was not aware of this.

When you woke up you were met with a lot of smiles and 'happy birthday!'s. You just smiled awkwardly at them as you ate your breakfast calmly. You were bombarded with a bunch of smiles questions like "so, what do you want to do today?!". You were feeling overwhelmed so you quickly finished your breakfast and went to your room to hide.

You stayed there the whole day, not leaving unless it was important. They trued to pry you out but you just made up excuses.

The next day everyone apologized for not being able to celebrate it, you said that it was ok and how you don't really celebrate it because of all the attention. They took you out to celebrate anyways.

Thank you <3

Birthday blues

birthdays aren’t your thing, but they’ll make it one!

titans x gn!reader

enjoy and apologies for taking so long :)

(happy holidays to those who celebrate!)

It was loud, the minute you emerged from your room you were startled from your sleepy state at the sound of a party horn being blown in your ear. You held your ear defensively, a vague scowl on your face as you looked at your perpetrator. Gar only smiled at you, a party hat with the words ‘Happy Birthday’ written across as the horn hung loosely from his mouth. “Happy birthday Y/N.” He cheered, dramatically throwing up jazz hands as he blew the horn continuously.

You waved his gesture off mindlessly, the smell of food invading your senses and prompting you to walk towards the kitchen. Your mouth fell in shock at the sight of a birthday banner strewn across the wall, and balloons indicating the age you’d be turning. Right, today. Kori turned from the stove at the sound of your feet pattering against the hardwood floor, a bright smile on her face, enhancing her features. “Happy birthday, I am so excited for whatever you plan.” She sighed dreamily.

You laughed awkwardly at that, in hopes it’d discourage any questions about your plans for the day. “Smells good.” You changed subject, nodding your head towards the food she conjured up. Upon your statement she quickly turned back to the stove, removing the pan from the hot surface and allowing it to cool, an aroma following suit. “All for you, speaking of—the others should’ve been here by now.” She spoke, her back towards you as you glanced around the overly decorated kitchen.

Upon her statement, the rest of the Titan’s filtered in, greeting you with birthday greetings as you could only smile awkwardly. Once Kori turned back into your vision, a cake was in her hands, the age you were turning sticking out the cake as she lit the candles. You opened your mouth to protest, only to be cut off by the rest singing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you. Throughout the duration you clapped feebly, laughing once they finished and staring back at Kori who was already staring at you with a smile.

“Make a wish.” Rachel cheered from behind you, her hands comfortably wrapped around your shoulders as she gently guided you towards the cake. You could only close your eyes quickly before blowing out the candles, watching the way the smoke rose and disappeared before the sound of everyone clapping registered your brain. Kori set the cake aside, guiding you towards a seat at the table that had a sash, indicating that’s where your rightfully belonged.

“Now before we get started on plans for the day, you need breakfast—for energy of course, so I made your favorites,” She started, pointing out every dish as she squeezed your shoulder affectionately. “Enjoy, it’s all yours.” With a quick glance her way as she moved back towards the kitchen, you couldn’t help but feel guilty for all the effort she put in. As you silently piled all your favorite foods on a plate your head snapped up at the sound of Dick speaking.

“So, any ideas for today?” He started, snagging a piece of bacon from the plate Kori passed by with, before she distributed it to Jason and Rachel. You only shrugged, covering your mouth as you spoke with a mouthful, “Didn’t really think that far ahead, besides I’d rather just cool it for today.” Gar seemed to be shocked at your statement, his voice loud as he spoke, “Cool it? It’s your birthday, today is all about you.” He pointed out. You only smiled at his dramatics.

“I don’t really celebrate my birthday.” At that, he gasped in horror, a hand on his chest as he frowned. “Who doesn’t celebrate their birthday? That should be a crime.” He voiced out, his head low as he shook his head in disbelief. You only shrugged, turning your vision back to your plate as you began to eat quickly. “Are you sure you don’t wanna do something? we’d really love to celebrate your big day.” Rachel spoke from across you, a sympathetic smile on her face. You only shook your head, silence consuming you as the Titans voiced out questions and concerns.

You were caught off guard as Jason jabbed at you under his breath, “What type of weirdo doesn’t celebrate a birthday?” You fork clunk loudly against your dish, silencing all chatter as you pushed your chair out, “I’m gonna have to take a rain check for today.” Jason was punched on the shoulder by Rachel who gave him a condescending look before her gaze, as well as the others, fell on you as you left.

The remainder of your day was spent in your room, the possibility of a dent being in the one spot you laid in all day wouldn’t have surprised you. There were occasional knocks, with questions like—‘Are you okay?’ or ‘How are ya’ feeling?’ but you only gave vague answers before leaving it at that. You left your bedroom sometime during the night, lurking in the kitchen for any clues of left over dinner. You buried your head in the fridge, a frown on your face before you pulled back, releasing a startled scream and ultimately scaring Jason as well.

“Why the hell are you standing there like a creep?” You scolded, a hand on your chest as you stared at Jason judgingly, he stared at you warily, his bottom lip wedged between his teeth before he spoke, “Maybe don’t creep around the kitchen like a weirdo at midnight.” He justified, ignoring the way you scoffed offendedly at his statement. It was silent between you two, up until you moved towards the snack cabinet, half of the snacks gone of course.

“I also wanna apologize.” Jason piped up, the cabinet falling shut as you released it from your weak grip. You glanced back at him with a timid smile, waving him off as you assured, “It’s fine, I kinda do feel like a weirdo.” You joked, a halfhearted smile making its way onto Jason’s face as he recalled his earlier quip. “Look, maybe it doesn’t have to be a birthday celebration tomorrow, but we wanna take you out, maybe just for dinner, or even lunch—dunch.” He finished, dramatically pointing a finger your way.

You released a genuine laugh, scrunching your nose up as you questioned him lightly, “Dunch?” He nodded his head, a shrug following suit before he spoke, “Or Brunch.” You only hummed, telling him you’d ‘think about it’ before bidding the boy goodnight, and disappearing into your from for the remainder of the night.

The next morning was a great start, the Titans apologized for their pushy behavior and questions, and they took you out to eat, at your favorite restaurant too. You all sat at a large table, spilling jokes—even accidentally spilling a drink on Gar. It was great, and for once you enjoyed celebrating your birthday.

Dunch was the best.

[techtakesoff]

hi, ive been playing a homestuck ttrpg thing and the session manager and almost every other resource for classpects dont really define what a mage of breath can do or cant do. like yes they know direction and all that jazz but what can we do with it? how can we turn that explaination into something that can be used like a power? and i know that abilities are highly dependant on the type of person one is, but i just need general ideas of what we could do

tldr: please help i dont know what powers mages of breath have and my brain is too empty to theorize without doubting myself

 A Mage of Breath is one who actively knows Direction, Freedom and Change. As such their powers would be… interesting to say the least. 

 The first thing that comes to mind is an intuitive sense for where the Mage is, and more importantly how to get where they want to be, or if the Breeze wills it, where the narrative wants them to be.

At higher levels this might grow into an innate awareness of their position on the proverbial map anywhere they happen to be, be it underground or in a dense forest, they know exactly where they, and by extension their team, are located.

It might take some focus to Know the location of others, as the Mage is an active class, but it shouldn’t be too hard. 

 Another thing would be an intuitive understanding of how to exercise the Change they want to come about. Say the Time player foresaw the Black Queen killing an important person on Prospit, they travel backwards and consult with the Mage, who would have an itch as to what to Change to make that outcome turn in their favour.

This would start out as simply a gut feeling of vague nature, but might progress to a more solid understanding as the Mage climbs their echeladder. 

 They might have some knowledge about the game itself they’re not aware of - locked away for later use. After all, John’s classpect gave him some measure of one-up-manship over the rules of Sburb via the retcon.

The Mage might know how to dodge the rules of the game, sidestep the shackles constricting them. They might have creative ideas on how others could use the powers of their godtiers in unconventional ways.

 They would make a great advisor to the Friendleader, provided they learn to trust their intuition. This is where Moon sway may come into play.

A Derse dreamer would be more pragmatic and skeptical, which might lead them to go against the flow of their powers at first. A Prospit dreamer on the other hand would probably be more inclined to follow along with their hunches.

 There are of course some smaller things with Breath the Mage would be able to do regardless of their class verbiage - we see Rose use Light as a weapon in Collide, the Mage could very well levitate things or send someone back with a blast of wind.

They would be much less proficient in using their Aspect in this sense than say a Witch, but don’t be too quick to write off a classpect as solely the combination of their aspect and verbiage. The Sburb system is a lot more versatile than many people seem to think, your abilities are only as limited as your imagination and your willingness to think outside the box. 

[sheainlondon]

back of my mind. [b. chilwell]

inspiration: back of my mind — maria isabel <3

“i knew your love came with a price.”

ok so this is my first post on tumblr, i read a lot but i rlly wanna try writing so if anyone even sees this pls dont judge 🥺❤️

- also when i do write i tend to write in third person bc its a lot easier for me to describe things but i wanted to try first <33

I sat comfortably in the broadcaster booth, my little cousin on my lap as I slid on his headphones, then mine.

I watched Asher every Sunday, since my aunt and uncle had strange work hours. Asher always behaved and was a great boy, but even they needed a little alone time.

He liked coming to work with me and watching the football games, or pitching me his ideas for goal celebration calls.

He’d recently just started playing football, and with time became a huge Chelsea supporter, and was a big Mason Mount fan.

I myself of course enjoyed watching the blues as well, which is of course why I chose to intern there. But nonetheless, there was a little… history there.

The second half had already started, with the Blues up 1-0.

But as time went on, Watford started to press more and more, which eventually ended in a late goal from the other side.

The game now tied at 1-1, I began to tense up. We weren’t really gonna tie on the last game of the season, right?

As the clock ticked on, Lee sighed and took off his headphones. He rubbed his temples, then turned to me, “I gotta get down there for the postgame stuff. You and the big guy got it, right?” He joked, ruffling Asher’s hair.

“Yup!” I nodded, as Asher giggled, getting up from my lap to sit in Lee’s seat.

As soon as Lee left an incoming substitution came up on the screen in front of me.

‘Ben Chilwell >’

‘Mason Mount <‘

“Who’s that?” my cousin asked, trying make sense of the unfamiliar name.

“Ben Chilwell, he’s been injured.” I said slowly, hoping the bell doesn’t ring for him that it was my ex-something.

“Oh. Alright,” he grinned, “You should say, ‘Please welcome back, Ben Chilwell!’“ he exclaimed, stressing each syllable in his name.

“Sure, why not?” I giggled, swiping my blonde curls out of the way before getting the microphone ready.

The referee then gave his cue, as I came onto the mic.

“Substitution for Chelsea, number nineteen— Mason Mount.”

My voice echoed throughout the stadium as Asher looked at me in awe. I smiled and winked back.

As I watched Mount leave the pitch and hug Ben, a hint of nostalgia tampered with me as I closed my eyes and said into the mic,

“Please welcome back, number twenty-one— Ben Chilwell!” I exclaimed, as the crowd rose and buzzed, ecstatic for his return.

Sad happiness filled me, as I turned off the microphone and stood up, clapping along with them.

As he settled into his position, his head turned and looked up at me in the booth

Our eyes locked.

He nodded, with a heavy smile.

I gave him a thumbs up, just as Asher realized what was going on and got up on his chair to wave at him too.

The game resumed, and the ninety minute mark came.

James had the ball, and just made a splendid move to trick the Watford defenders, before putting in a beautiful cross, that perfectly directed off of Barkley’s head… into the goal!

I threw my hands up in excitement, before high-fiving Asher.

Quickly, I grabbed the microphone once more,

“Goal, Chelsea! Number eighteen… Ross Barkley!”

The three stoppage time minutes went quick, as the final whistle blew and the crowd erupted in cheers.

I watched the players intermix to congratulate each other, then signed off and wished everyone a good evening and safe drive.

Next, we had to get down to the pitch for the awards, speeches, goodbyes, etc.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ ✧･ﾟ:*

As Asher and I arrived on the pitch, Azpi had just finished his speech and congratulated Mount on his phenomenal season and was handing him his player of the year award.

Mason Mount highlights began to play on the Jumbotron above, and families flooded out behind us.

I located Lee, and we began to set up the interviews as the players took their appreciation lap.

We interviewed Rudiger first, then Thomas Tuchel.

“Y/N!” my brother tugged at my jacket as we waited for the next player. Asher then started to speak super fast and jump around at the sight of Mason Mount and Reece James.

“Woah, woah, slow down!” I giggled, squatting down to his height as Lee looked down on us and laughed.

“Go enjoy the last day, Y/N. It’s been a pleasure having you in the booth,” he nodded, as I got up and went to shake his hand, in which he enveloped me into a hug instead.

“No Lee, it’s been a pleasure working for you. Thanks for everything.” I smiled.

“But first how about I get Asher here a photo with Mason Mount, yeah?”

I grinned, as I saw number nineteen approach the interview booth, “He’d love that,” I watched as Asher’s eyes lightened at the sight of the young man.

“And wait,”

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Will you go say hi to Ben for me?” he winked, before his eyes drew forward towards a man in blue who seemed to be lost in the crowd without any family.

I slightly shook my head, but smiled.

I had to say hi.

Every time I’d look through my office window out at the training grounds I’d see him in the parking lot, as he’d be coming in for recovery.

And I’d wondered if anything had changed.

We both knew what we were getting into when we started seeing each other, with me being in the United States most of the time for school and him being a full-time football star.

But we knew that night in New York that it was time to say goodbye.

He took pieces of me when he left.

Just like how I kept pieces of him when he walked away.

“Go on,” Lee ushered me further onto the pitch, as my green eyes comfortably met Ben’s blue ones, to which he quickly looked away from.

I still saw oceans in his eyes. That’s one thing that never changed.

My air forces inched over the gorgeous green grass of Stamford Bridge, as my eyes flickered down and focused on the faded lines of where it had been perfectly cut.

I finally looked up, and I was just inches away from him. He was now coming towards me as well.

As soon as we were close enough, Ben wasted no time to envelop me in a huge hug. I smiled into his smelly jersey that held a faint smell of his familiar cologne.

“I didn’t believe Azpi when he said you worked here now.” he finally said, as we shared an understanding silence with each other.

“Interning, just interning,” I replied, as he hugged me tighter, “I’m sorry I never found you when I first started here. I guess I was just scared.”

He finally pulled away and looked me in the eyes, a soft smile locked onto his face.

“I think we both were.” he nodded.

Nobody spoke as we both took in the buzz of the bridge.

“Any plans this Summer?” I asked, breaking the silence, only wanting to hear his voice and everything about him.

“Yeah, I’m leaving town in a few days. I’m obviously not participating in the Nations League with England so it’s probably gonna be a pretty light next couple of months.”

“Nice,” I nodded, as I nervously tapped my left foot a little bit.

“What about you?”

“Oh, you know me… the normal rounds. New York, California… maybe even Italy this year.”

He nodded.

We both couldn’t deny there was an undeniable sadness between the two of us, not to mention Ben’s absent family members.

“Parents couldn’t make it?” I asked breaking into a new conversation, still in search for his missing loved ones.

“No,” he looked down, studying the ground as if he were in search of something down there.

His eyes glistened as they finally came back up, I could tell it was bugging him that nobody showed on the last day. His family was always first for him.

“I bet some of the other boys family’s couldn’t—“ I started, as his hand moved under my chin and pointed my face up towards him.

He looked as if he was ready to cry, as his hand dropped from under my chin and a sad smile overcame his face, “I just wanna look at you.” he gulped, “Forget about them… forget about everyone else. It’s just you and me again. Even after all those days we spent apart… you still sat at the back of my mind every single one of them.” he shook his head. He went from seemingly being unhappy with his parents to being upset about us.

“We knew it’d come with a price.” I assured, trying to shed light on the main reason we failed.

“I know,” our eyes stayed connected as he fidgeted with the hem of his jersey, “But right now, I-…” he stuttered.

“What?” I frowned.

Ben looked down at me as a ray of sun had moved onto us. He then raised his arm and slid it over my shoulder, softly declaring, “I think you’re all I need.”

[thotsforvillainrights]

youre doing so good on all these asks and prompts bestie its a full course MEAL today, thank you 🙏🏻💕 pls take your time and dont push yourself too hard!

since you're on a Skeptic and Trumpet kick, could i request how Skeptic, Trumpet, and Re-Destro confess to their S/O? maybe with a sprinkle of long-term pining in there?

(I finally updated the AU's. Now back to your regularly scheduled askbox answering! I'm glad to start with this one because it's such a cute idea ahhh)

~How Skeptic/Trumpet/Re-Destro Confess~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

~Skeptic~

-I saw a post on here a while back by someone about Skeptic asking you out over email and I have not let go of it to this day. If anybody knows what I'm talking about, please @ the account for me! I mean it sounds ridiculous but I genuinely believe he would do something like that! Just hear me out, just picture it! So he's the type of man I believe would be angry for falling in love with you or falling in love to begin with. Up until now his life has been just himself and he's been just fine with that. He doesn't even have pets! His life lately has been dedication to Feel Good, the Liberation Army cause, and Re Destro. When he falls for you oh boy does he spend a long time in denial. He thinks he's doing a good job at fighting off his feeling by being mean to you but he doesn't take the time to even think about how he's always watching you or how he seems to hover when you're around. Or maybe how weird he feels when he realized he's searching through any and all information to do with you. He's way too awkward sometimes and decided it would be a great idea to confess to you through email (which you already know Chitose and Hanabata are going to tease him about). In his mind it makes sense! I mean I could go further into this but I really wish I could find that post that person made OMG. If you read it you'd be like..."yeah, I get it now."

~Trumpet~

Doesn't waste a second when he falls for you. I mean maybe for the first month he sits and observes to figure out if he just thinks you're attractive or that he genuinely loves you. By the end of the month he comes to the conclusion that he loves you and that you're his soulmate. He even starts considering marriage right away but Chitose helps bring him back down to reality. I've said it before and I'll say it a million times again: He falls HARD. I'm at full belief that he jumps all-in when he thinks he's in love. Once he's got his eyes set on you, believe me you'll know it. He's ask you out by gently grabbing your hands into his and kissing the back of them. He opens up to you and pours himself out. If that doesn't work then he's trying again and again, never laying off unless you specifically tell him you hate him (or don't want him). He'll do anything from writing love letters, to literally paying a plane to spell it out in the skies for you. He once showed up to your place in a limo with a trunk full of roses and balloons. He's very persistent when it comes to you. Just think, if he's being this dramatic with simply asking you to date him then imagine how it's gonna look when he decides to propose to you! If you guessed over the top then you guessed correctly...

~Re-Destro~

-Out of everyone listed above, he likely takes it the slowest and does it just right. I think he might have you believing he's just a close friend but the entire time he's falling even more in love with you. He takes you out to lunch often and offers himself up for advice if you ever need it. He invites you to things that he secretly considers dates, but he also asks the others to tag along so you won't get suspicious. He spends a lot of time thinking about you and about how he feels when you're around him. He wakes up one morning in his empty bed and realizes at that moment that he genuinely doesn't want this life for himself anymore. He wants that cheesy life where he wakes up next to you or when he comes home to you waiting for him. He wants grocery shopping/running errands together. He wants gentle touches cuddled up under thick blankets while listening to each others breathing and the crackle of the candle burning nearby. He wants that moment like in romance movies when the two finally share that first kiss and sparks fly. He resolves to finally admit his feelings to you so he calls you up and invites you out to dinner that night. You (thinking that the others will be there) quickly accepts his offer. You're a little surprised when you find out they're not there and it's just him. Realization sets in after you ask him and he tells you "No, it's just supposed to be us." You nod and open yourself up to everything that he pours out at you. When he finishes he can feel his heart beat out of his chest. He figures if he were to die in this moment then he wouldn't regret a thing if you turned him down because he would've been blessed to have you even listen to his confession. Lucky for him you accept his heart and from that very second he decides that he'll give his all to make sure you're happy with him no matter what.

[unwrittenlibrary]

Saturday Sun I

Summary: it’s the beginning of may. mother’s day has come and gone, with your family trip coming up and things are seemingly falling apart even more. you and harry are forced to come head to head with real issues. (harry x fem!reader)

Word Count: 1.3K (second part will be the longer piece) 

Warnings: Angst. Cheating. Find all in depth warnings in the first two parts. 

Notes: hello, part three is divided into two parts, this first one focusing on some conflict & the second part to it will focus more on family dynamic & light resolution. part of this piece has harry’s pov instead of entirely the readers. 

Part One & Two (along with a companion piece) can be found in my h.s masterlist! 

-

i need to ask her

what’s going on?

are we going strong?

May - Part I

It’s the Monday before your flight.

April had come and April had gone and you were still struggling to focus on anything but your kids and issues with Harry. You suppose that’s okay, your next deadline was months away and with the trip coming up all you could focus on were those things. 

Mother’s Day had slipped your mind completely. You were busy making lists and triple checking flight info to even think of asking the kids and Harry about their plans. 

“How was your weekend? Everything went well?” Dr. Walsh’s voice forces you to look up from the new watch that adorns your wrist. 

You glance at Harry, who waits for you to answer. You shrug. “It was nice… Harry and the kids treated me yesterday.” 

The watch is a beautiful rose gold color and is a thin band compared to the band of your last watch. Your kids initials had been engraved onto the inner band. It was, by all means, a lovely and well thought out gift. Not only replacing the watch you had worn for a decade and had finally snapped, but reminding of the best parts of your life. 

“Tell me about your day!” Dr. Walsh smiles kindly. Her eyes move between you and Harry, polite and u judging, before landing on your wrist.

“I got breakfast, at the table, breakfast in bed is too hectic with three kids and a baby.” You laugh softly, thinking of the kids and their not well hidden excitement for your day. “And they all got me gifts. The twins made clay handprints in school. Seph picked out a new wallet for me and even bought it on her own!” 

It’s impossible to contain your happiness that rolls off of you when you talk about the kids. Bragging about their thoughtfulness and kind gifts makes you almost forget where you are.

“That sounds so lovely.” Dr. Walsh brings you back down. Your eyes move to Harry. His eyes are open and he’s smiling softly as you speak. But his fingers are fidgeting in his lap and you know he had hoped you would be proud of his gift too. 

And you were. But maybe that was the worst part. That it was kind hearted and well thought out and so very Harry that you almost hated it. You hated how one small gift had caused a sliver of hope to crawl into your bloodstream and make your heart race for him again. 

That it made you believe, for one brief moment, all his promises and words about never falling out of love with you and never wanting to let you go. 

“Harry got me a watch too.” You finally say, quiet and full of despair. “Mine snapped a few weeks ago… It has the kids initials in it. It was a good day.” 

Dr. Walsh nods. “It’s a lovely watch.” Her eyes move pointedly from it on your wrist to you. “So what’s wrong?” 

You fiddle with it, twisting it on your wrist and tapping the face anxiously. “It feels tainted.” You steadily avoid looking at Harry as you say the words. Dr. Walsh nods, but doesn’t say anything, silently urging you to continue. “I love it. And that… makes me feel guilty. And it makes me feel dumb because one stupid gift made me forget this bullshit for a second and I just felt that love for him again.”

There’s an intake of breath to your right, but Dr. Walsh doesn’t look at all shocked by your words. “It makes sense. You want to be angry. You have a right to be angry and when something gets in the way of that, you’re unsure of how to feel.” 

You nod. Her words make sense. You did want to be angry and after your brief elation with the gift you found you still were. 

“I am going to feel like this for the rest of my life?” You whisper. 

She shakes her head. “No. One day, this anger will be gone. But… it’s up to you whether or not you can get there with each other. If you can forgive Harry and let go of the anger. Or not. Neither is wrong.” 

You nod. Sometimes these sessions felt like she was strictly talking to you. Harry just listened. Spoke up when you asked him to, or when Dr. Walsh worked on exercises. 

A part of you found that it helped. You were able to say things you may not have ever said to Harry. But sometimes it felt like he was unsure if he should try and that made you angrier. 

-

Harry’s hopes are built up and shattered. It’s his own fault, he knows it is. Knows that this was an easily fixable marriage before he fucked up. 

You’ve talked about the cheating a little in therapy. Dr. Walsh has mentioned it, you’ve let your anger out, Harry has apologized. It’s a cycle that seems never ending. He doesn’t know what to do. All he wants so desperately is to fucking fix it. 

But...

The drive has been silent. You stare out the window at cars and buildings that pass. There are bags in the truck rustling around, a last minute stop for last minute items needed for the trip. 

You had been silent in the store too. Quietly checking off your list as Harry pushed the cart behind you. Had his gift upset you this much? You still loving him made you this angry? 

“I… I don’t know what to do.” Harry finally says, forcing his voice to cut through the silence. You startle and turn to look at him. “Tell me what to do.” He pleads. 

He knows you can hear the desperation in his voice. Whether or not you were angry at him, you knew him, you knew his tells and his emotions. 

“What do you want me to say, H?” Your voice is a whisper but still harsh. “I don’t know! I don’t know what you can do! Build a time machine. Don’t cheat on me.” 

“It feels like we’re going in circles.” Harry tries to keep his calm. He wants to keep the anxiety and hurt out of his voice. “Like, you’re angry then you see this chance and there’s hope, then there’s anger again.” 

You scoff. “I’m sorry my pain isn’t linear enough for you! I’m sorry that sometimes I see glimpses of you and I’m reminded of us ten years ago, so in love and oblivious to the outside world. Sorry that it all comes crashing down when I remember that you fucking cheated on me!” 

Harry sighs and his grip on the steering wheel tightens. “I fucked up so bad. I know. I know. God, what can I do? Anything.” 

“Why did you do it?” You ask instead of answering. There’s a coldness in your words and Harry’s aware you’re both trapped in the car for another twenty minutes. So are you, apparently. “And don’t give me the same bullshit about being selfish and not knowing why and it being a mistake.” 

Harry feels desperation claw at his throat and tears burning in the corner of his eyes. It’s like he can’t breathe, trapped in a coffin of your anger and his guilt. He tries to keep his eyes focused on the road as he talks. “I… I felt wanted. I liked the attention.” 

There’s a sharp intake of breath, but Harry keeps his face forward and eyes focused. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Y/N…” Harry trails off. “I… I can’t.”

You groan and fall forward with your head in your hands. “I need to know, H. I don’t… I just need to know because all I can think about is these what if situations and scenarios in my head. And I’ll just keep running through them until I hate you.”

Harry bites down on his lip and spares a glance at you. “What if… What if I tell you and you hate me anyways?” The question is unfair. He knows it is. But he can’t fathom a world without you in it. A world where he sees you on drop off days and has to plan separate holidays. 

“I don’t know.” You say quietly. But, it feels like answer enough. There’s no reason for you not to leave. 

And Harry guesses a promise to try was never really a promise to stay. 

-

notes: thank you for the patience! i understand this piece is short, this part has been a lil tricky and i wanted to get the first part to may out before summer courses begun. i’m hoping i’m able to continue writing through them, but i will warn readers i am enrolled in two of the three week classes that have a lot of work and move quickly. so patience will be appreciated. i hope everyone is safe & healthy and has a wonderful end of school/university/spring! and congratulations to all the grads these next two months. i’m planning on ending this series with a total of five parts (march, april, may, june, july) w/ two endings.

tags (im tagging a couple ppl who messaged me awhile ago (after the last part), if u dont wanna be tagged anymore let me know! sorry!@alwaysclassyeagle @yourgoldengirls

if u wanna be tagged just message me & let me know if u want it for just this series or for all my h writing! ❤️

[wosoimagines]

The Secret Is Out - Jill Roord/Reader

prompt: hi um could you maybe just maybe do a jill roord x reader where the reader plays for arsenal and the uswnt and they win the world cup and no one knows they’re dating and the r or jill accidentally like do something? idk if that makes sense but if you dont want to that’s perfectly fine! hope you are doing well! all love. Okay, look. There are some Dutch translations here. I don’t know if they’re right because I used google translate. If they are wrong and you speak Dutch, please tell me so I can fix them.

warnings: None.

words: 1919

(Y/N) POV

I cheered as soon as the final whistle blew. I had finally done it. I had finally won my first World Cup. After being one of the last players passed over during the 2015 World Cup, it felt amazing to win now in 2019 and to be such a big reason as to why we won.

Although I was happy, there was a part of me that knew that I had ruined a World Cup run for one of the most important people in my life. I immediately looked to search for the Dutch woman who had stole my heart. My smile fell a little at the heartbroken look on her face.

I caught her eye and she smiled at me. I went to move toward her, but before I could, someone had jumped on my back cheering. I wasn’t surprised that it was Sonnett. Lindsey, of course, joined where Sonnett was and Mal and Rose weren’t far behind her. 

Jill shook her head and it did hurt a little that she didn’t want me to join her. But I understood. My team wanted to celebrate and Jill probably just wanted to be with her teammates right now. I glanced to see how Danielle and Viv were as well as Sari. I wasn’t surprised when I watched Jill go join Viv. I knew that the two of them were really close.

Lindsey managed to wrangle Sonnett off my back just before Rose and Mal threw confetti on top of me. I grinned at them as I shook my head to get the few that stuck to my head off of me. I was a little surprised that it was Tierna who had dragged me back to where the team was celebrating on the pitch. I wasn’t too surprised when Christen and Tobin immediately joined me considering that they were my team moms.

We eventually were given our medals and I was a little surprised to find that I had won the bronze boot along with the bronze ball. I had taken a picture of the awards with Megan and Alex since they both won awards as well. I couldn’t help it as my attention was drawn to Jill. I was able to eventually hand my awards off so that they would make it back to the hotel.

Christen and Tobin had stopped me when I moved to go over to Jill. They both congratulated me and I had thanked them. I knew that I would never be the player I was without them taking me under their wing and helping me. I eventually was able to get past them and to the Dutch midfielder that I had been trying to get to.

“Hey,” I softly said.

Jill smiled at me even through her tears. I immediately hugged her. Jill held on tightly to me. The past two months had been hard for both of us to be so close to each other but not able to see each other.

“I’m proud of you,” Jill mumbled into my neck. I pulled back from her and smiled at her. “I’m really proud. I want your jersey.”

“You want to swap?”

The fact that Jill wanted to swap our jerseys even though they would end up at my apartment in London soon enough confused me. Everyone knew that Jill had signed with Arsenal, and while a lot of her stuff was at the apartment, we didn’t have time to unpack it before the two of us had left for the World Cup.

“No, I just want your jersey eventually,” Jill shook her head. I still wasn’t sure what she wanted it for.

“It’s probably going to smell like alcohol after tonight,” I chuckled. I knew that my jersey was probably going to get soaked in alcohol as soon as we entered the locker room.

“(Y/N)!”

I glanced over my shoulder to see Sonnett running toward me with a grin and a white jersey in her hand. Sonnett stopped beside Jill and I before holding the jersey out to me.

“Dude, they got us these cool jerseys,” Sonnett immediately started to say. I knew that if I didn’t get her to leave soon then I wouldn’t get to talk to Jill until after we left the arena. “There’s one for all of us.”

“Cool,” I said as I took the jersey. I glanced at Jill who looked ready to leave.

“Ik bel je later,” Jill muttered causing me to grab on her wrist. (I will call you later.)

“Nee wacht. Geef me een moment om van haar af te komen,” I said causing Sonnett to look surprised at the fact that I knew Dutch. Jill looked surprised that I was willing to get rid of my teammate. (No, wait. Give me just a moment to get rid of her.)

“Can you make sure that there’s some actual beer saved for me to drink and not to just spray around everywhere?” I asked Sonnett.

The defender immediately perked at the mention of beer. Sonnett nodded before rushing off to make sure we had beer to drink. I turned back to Jill before pulling my game jersey off.

“Here, this way I can’t lose it cause you know I lose everything,” I said. Jill chuckled a little at the before taking the jersey from me. 

I saw Jill’s eyes wander down to my waist and she smiled at the new tattoo that I had. I hadn’t shown her yet due to the fact that I had gotten it just after Jill had left to join her own national team and I wanted Jill to see it in person rather than as a picture.

“You actually got it,” Jill whispered.

“Yeah, I did,” I nodded. Jill touched the tattoo and lightly traced it. “Your handwriting and all. I figured it was appropriate since you were the one who started to call me Schatje.” (Little treasure.)

I pulled the jersey Sonnett had given me over my head. I glanced over my shoulder to see if anyone from my team was going to come to drag me away. I wasn’t too surprised that Christen and Tobin were headed my way, but I was surprised by the fact that the whole team was headed here. I looked back at Jill.

“I know we said we didn’t want to go public with our relationship until we got into a groove with both of us being at Arsenal, but my teammates got their kisses from their partners and, it’s been a while-”

I couldn’t finish what I was saying because Jill had pulled me closer to her. I immediately kissed the Dutch player back when I felt her lips crash into mine. I ignored the cheers and shouts behind me, but apparently Jill didn’t because she pulled back not long after. Jill glanced behind me before giving me a kiss by my ear.

“Go join your teammates. I have a room for us at a different hotel where we can have our own little party after you guys get done.”

My jaw slacked but I didn’t have time to say anything to Jill because she had already turned and ran to join her own teammates. I felt someone sling their arm around my shoulder.

“Way to get some, (Y/N),” Ash cheered right in my ear. I wasn’t too surprised that Ali slapped the back of Ash’s head causing the goalie to grumble and rub the back of her head. 

“Hey, Roord!” I called out. Jill turned around to look at me. “Ik hou van je, lieverd.” (I love you, sweetheart.)

“Ik hou ook van je.” (I love you too.)

“Oi, (Y/N)! What about me?”

I shook my head at Danielle. She often teased me over the past two years whenever Jill would call me since we were in different countries. But Danielle had been ready to throw hands for me many times during our matches for Arsenal. 

“Je bent zo behoeftig,” I complained. Danielle threw a glare at me and I laughed at her. “Ik hou ook van jou, kleine krijger.” (You’re so needy. I love you as well, little warrior.)

Danielle smirked at that and I saw her turn to brag about it to Jill. I only shook my head at them before turning to my teammates. I swiped the beer from Kelley’s hand before she could drink from it. Before the older defender could do anything, Christen and Tobin had already moved to my sides probably to talk to me about the relationship I had with Jill. I couldn’t help but smile as I told them about the Dutch woman who had stolen my heart.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grinned as Jill came out of the bathroom. I was already dressed since I was having to leave today to head to the US for our celebration. Jill was going to take her time, however, since her team wouldn’t be flying out until much later. Jill was dressed in one of my oversized shirts and a pair of shorts.

“What are you smiling about?”

“How lucky I am,” I said as I stood up from the foot of the bed. “I mean, I just won the World Cup and the woman I want to spend the rest of my life is still here even though she’s the one I had to beat to win the World Cup.”

“You want to spend the rest of your life with me?”

“I mean, yeah, why wouldn’t I?” I furrowed my brow in confusion. “Jill, I’ve been dating you for 3 years now. If I didn’t seriously see us together for the rest of my life, then I wouldn’t still be with you. One day, I’m going to marry you.”

“I also can’t believe you would think that I would leave you because you beat me for the World Cup,” Jill shook her head. She pressed a kiss to my lips. “I can’t wait for you to make me yours forever.”

I grinned as I wrapped my arms around her waist. I wished we could stay like this forever. But sadly we couldn’t. I did have a plane to catch soon.

“I’ll see you in London?”

“Of course you will,” Jill nodded. Jill pulled back from me before digging through her bag. “I have something for you. I was going to wait until we got back to London, but I might as well give it to you now.”

I took the little black box from her and smiled. I opened the box and chuckled when I saw the ring. The ring was a simple silver band with a designed etched into it. I slid the ring onto my finger before pulling my own small black box from my bag.

“I kind of got you one too,” I said as Jill took the box from me. “We were shopping for a ring for Tobin to give to Christen and I wanted to do something special for you. I’m not asking you to marry me, but this is a promise that I will marry you one day.”

Jill grinned before she kissed me. I smiled when she pulled back.

“I’ll see you in London, okay?”

The Dutch woman gave me one last kiss before I grabbed my bags and headed out of the room. I gave her a small wave just before I closed the door behind me. I couldn’t wait for the celebrations to be over and to be on a plane back to London.

[fanfic-collection]

Loki x Reader: Road Trip ft Bucky

Guess what? I wrote another fic and I DONT KNOW WHATS GOING ON. But I want Loki and Bucky to be best friends and I have a lot of Winter Soldier/Bucky feels and I needed to express them somehow so yea. But don't worry, I'll get back to the honeymoon fic, I just had to express some Bucky feels. There's like no angst in this at all, I just had to write Bucky

-

You walked into the living room and slapped a brochure onto the table between Loki and Bucky. “We’re going on a road trip!” You announced with excitement.

Loki lowered the book he had been reading and raised his eyebrow, looking down at the brochure.

“Route 66?” Bucky read aloud, “Oh man, Steve and I always talked about driving across that.”

Loki set his book down beside him, marking his page. Wistfully he added, “Thor and I once drove a distance along it. What year is it now? I think it was in the 1960s?”

You looked between the two of them bewildered, “Wait what?”

Bucky crossed his arms, “You do realize it was made in 1926, right?”

You cursed softly, grabbing the brochure from Bucky and quickly scanning it. “Am I the only one who hasn’t been to this place?”

“Sorry, love.” Loki stood, wrapping his arm around you and giving you a side hug.

Bucky chuckled, “It’s the most famous road in America, it connects the Midwest to the Pacific Ocean. You can drive the whole distance on one consistent road without branching off and get to California.”

You waved your hands emphatically, “Which is why we should go on a road trip on it! Bucky, my best friend, Loki, well duh, and you two are like, best friends. We would make the perfect trio. We would take turns on snack duty, navigation duty, and driving. Stark has the money for a convertible. Just the three of us, sailing down the road, eating, laughing, hanging out. Just friends being friends! What better a vacation than that?”

Bucky exchanged glances with Loki then the two looked back at you.

Sam and Natasha walked in at that moment.

“What’s going on?” Sam asked.

“Loki’s sweetheart, here, is trying to get us to go on a road trip along route 66.” Bucky replied.

You rolled your eyes at the pet name but smiled as Loki rested his arm on your shoulder.

Natasha nodded thoughtfully, “Yea, I’ve heard of that. Famous road, cutting through the western states, right?”

You pointed at her, “Eh? Does everyone know about this?”

“Don’t look at me.” Sam held up his hands, “Are you lot sure about this?”

“Well we haven’t made any plans, Sam.” Bucky said, also standing now.

“Plans, yet,” You corrected.

“Does Stark know that you plan on using him to finance this?” Loki queried mildly.

“He will. He always finances my plans.” You beamed up at Loki.

Loki smirked.

Sam shook his head and snorted; Bucky laughed.

“Alright, I’m game if you are.” Bucky said once he had stopped laughing.

“As you command,” Loki bowed low before you, “I will go where you go.”

“Good. I wish to go on a road trip.”

“Then I guess it’s settled. What’s the next step?”

-

Loki and Bucky stood with the bags, road trip supplies, snacks, and anything else that might be necessary for a two-to-three-week trip. Loki’s magical pockets may have been employed.

Moments later you came roaring into the lot where they were waiting, car skidding to a stop with a loud squeal of tires.

“Hello, boys.” You said, lowering your oversized sunglasses to stare over the rims to look at the two of them.

Bucky rolled his eyes at you as you popped the trunk of the car and he started tossing luggage in the back.

A tinge of pink rose on Loki’s cheeks and the back of his neck at the crop top shirt you wore, ideal for getting as much sun with the convertible top down on the long drive across the sunny plains.

Bucky sighed looking at Loki, “Alright you two love birds, you can’t be completely,” he waved his hand, “like this, the whole time or I’m getting a cab.”

Loki cleared his throat. True to form, he was wearing a black suit. “Apologies Bucky.”

“Sorry.” You mumbled.

“I’ll get snacks first. I guess Loki’s navigating then? No sense in having you switch from the driver’s seat.” Bucky jerked his chin at you.

Once everyone was settled in, you more carefully backed the dark green convertible out of the lot and took off down the road.

-

“So I thought about using a good old fashioned map to have us navigate.” You explained as you drove.

Loki looked at you aghast.

You grinned at him, “Sure, I thought it’d be fun. We could have a no phones rule, go completely electronics dead except for music.”

“You’re saying to the guy with a vibranium arm.” Bucky called from the back seat, sitting in the middle with his arms stretched out and watching the empty highway.

“Ok, almost completely.” You shot back.

“Your technology backwards planet is already bad enough as it is.” Loki muttered, resting his elbow on the door of the convertible. Despite his hair being slicked back heavily, some of it still fluttered wildly in the wind.

“Don’t you guys still ride horses everywhere?” Bucky called.

You laughed. The navigation indicated you should correct your course and you complied while Loki ignored the comment and rolled his eyes.

“Alright Bucky, snack me.” You ordered. There was a light tap to your head. “Hey!”

“Oh right, I thought you said smack me. Right, right, what do you want?”

Loki snickered and you shot him a glare before saying, “You got my favorite chips, right?”

“Of course.” Bucky passed up a travel sized package of chips to you, pre opened and you set them between your legs and began to eat as you drove.

From time to time, you’d pass one on to Loki.

“Loki, are you sure you want to wear a suit for a six hour car trip? With only breaks for bathroom stops and gas?” You glanced to the right.

Loki shrugged, “I’m comfortable.”

“Hey! It’s the Wrigley Field!” Bucky called from the backseat.

You and Loki looked in the direction Bucky was pointing. It was indeed a giant baseball stadium.

Again, Loki shrugged.

You imagined Loki had seen more impressive things in his lifetime than any sporting event humans could make, but hey, it was still neat. Reaching for the camera, you tossed it back to Bucky and indicated for him to take a picture. “We’re making a scrapbook!”

Bucky shook his head ruefully, “Alright.”

-

Over the next few hours you were on the highway and out on the real road, driving southwest. The three of you had stopped at a number of attraction spots, switched positions, gotten lost once or twice, refueled and now Bucky was driving, and you and Loki were in the back seat as the sun getting low in the sky.

You had packed a few blankets, just in case. The top of the convertible was still down, and Bucky was listening to some music that Sam had recommended, quietly nodding and humming along to it. Your eyelids felt heavy as you sat huddled in the back, the blanket wrapped tightly around you, leaning into Loki. Loki wrapped his arm around you, rubbing your bare arms through the blanket and murmuring gentle words of comfort. Between the roar of the wind, the soft lull of the music and Bucky’s singing, and Loki’s soothing words, you felt a smile spread across your face. You curled your legs up onto the seat and huddled into Loki, resting your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arms around his waist.

You were filled with your favorite snacks and drinks, tired from the hours of driving, and content to be with your best friend and well, Loki. Your heart swelled at the thought as you sank deeper into the soft material of Loki’s suit. All you could smell was him, even his hair seemed to whip around less in the wind. Maybe the blanket was holding it down. It felt so soft against your face. You wished you could stay in this moment forever, capture it with your camera and keep it in your scrapbook. Loki’s tender hands gently sliding over your thigh, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the sensitive skin as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

The car slowed down and the wind didn’t whistle in your ears so drastically. Perhaps you had reached a town. You weren’t fully aware of your surroundings either way, too engrossed in the complexity of Loki holding you. It wasn’t the first time, and you doubted it would be the last time, but you could never stop marveling at how incredible a feeling it was.

“Love.” Loki murmured softly.

You suddenly realized you weren’t moving, though there was the vague sensation that you still were.

“We’re at the hotel.”

Bucky stood on the other side of the car door, leaning down and looking at you. He looked tired but amused. “No fair sleeping before we got here.” He said mussing up your hair. “C’mon, we got a long day tomorrow. And I am not sharing a room with you two.”

Loki tilted your head down and kissed your forehead. “Come, let’s get you some proper sleep, loathe as I am to move.”

You smiled, “That sounds nice.”

[the-hate-keeps-me-warm]

kisses and cuddles

wooooooooo time for some more fluffy shit yall i loved making this so much this sorta relted to my weed garden fic but you dont need to read it (be cool tho)

Ruby was sitting in the cafeteria with Oscar and penny she was too tired to pay attention to what the two were talking about penny sitting across from her and Oscar was excitedly talking about something while Oscar liens looking interested she’s unsure how he’s so put together they were both up late hanging out dreading comics and it’s only 7 am she leaned on Oscar and closed her eyes hoping to get a little more sleep before She had to do missions she had a relatively short one today only a search and destroy so maybe she could get home fast and take a nap Oscar nudged her shoulder and she lifted her head “hey don’t fall asleep if you don’t eat you’ll be grumpy” he says she fakes a pout and starts eating the gross cafeteria food she assumed that atlas food would be good sense it’s so many rich folks but no she’s actually had  better tasting mres or maybe she was just getting spoiled eating Oscar and rens cooking “ruby why are you so tired did you have trouble sleeping” penny says drawing circles on the table with her finger “no me and Oscar were up late last night and I only slept like three hours“ penny frowns “while I am happy you and Oscar are spending time together you require at least 6 hours of sleep for maximum field efficiency” ruby just nods “so why don’t you seem tired Oscar you couldn’t of slept anymore than I did” she says with a yawn he shrugs and says  “I guess I’m used to it I had to wake up early back home so I always didn’t get a bunch of sleep” penny raises a finger “actually according to my scans  Oscars brain is only running at 89% efficiency and his hear rate is faster from his normal 48 beats per minute to to 51 it is likely that he simply better at hiding his tiredness” Oscar slumps “penny do have everyone’s heart rates memorized” he says exasperated “yes I also have all of your medical charts on file and criminal records why” he raises a brow “criminal record?” Penny nods “yes several of your team have criminal records qrow having the longest with 22 counts of public intoxication as well as 3 of public indecency and” ruby raises her hands “trust me you don’t wanna know the rest they had to make a new law for one of the things he did but who else has charges?” she tries to wake herself with conversation and it sorta works she also learns some new and unsettling things about her friends but eventually breakfast ends and she starts to get her gear ready she’s loading rounds into one of crescent roses magazine when someone knocks on the door to her locker room “it’s open” she calls out and incomes  Oscar he’s holding a small Tupperware box and a small metal tumbler “hey I wanted to give this to you before you go” he says with a sheepish grin he sets the box next to her and hands her the tumbler it’s warm and smells good “it’s coffee, don’t worry I added way too much sugar for you and the other thing is a surprise you said you don’t eat a lot on missions so I made it for you it’s a bit of an experiment so tell me if it’s bad” she’s grinning ear to ear and stands up from her weapon bench and hugs him “you are the best and I’m sure it’ll be great” she gives him a kiss on the cheek she’s been slowly trying to work her way up to kissing him on the lips but nose and cheek kisses were enough for her he smiles and his cheeks get all rosey  and he hugs her back and says “be careful ok sorry I know you can take care of yourself but just you know“ she squeezes him a little “yeah don’t worry I know  I’ll be careful and when I get back we are so taking a nap mister I’m not that tired” he giggles and looks up at her with a smile  “you won’t hear me complain and uh before you go could I uh kiss you like um on the lips” he says nervously she leans down pressing her forehead to his and smiles she smells his breath it smells like chocolate and coffee she feels her cheeks heat up to match his and says “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now are you sure you want to ” he nods his head wordlessly she takes his hand and gently presses her lips to his its short and maybe a little clumsy but it makes her heart soar when she breaks the kiss Oscars breath shakes slightly  and a little panic starts to fill her did she mess it up did he hate it and then he smiles and it all fades away “that was really nice” he says rubbing her knuckle with his thumb then there’s a knock on the door frame she looks up and weiss and Blake are standing there weiss looks annoyed and Blake is grinning “time to go ruby morning Oscar” wiess says already turning to walk away ruby quickly gathers crescent rose and Oscars gifts and says “bye Oscar I’ll be careful byeee” and dashed out the door behind the others Blake nudges her shoulder “your lucky I made weiss wait  ,god you two are adorable” ruby squeaks “will you stop spying on us”  “we weren’t spying you two dolts left the door open” weiss says annoyed 

 The mission was boring as she thought it was gonna be how normal soldiers couldn’t handle this she’ll never know on the airship ride home she opens   the box Oscar gave to her a note on top says “have a great day and stay safe” she smiles at the note and sticks it in her ammo pocket  it looks like a brownie is some kind and yang leans over and says “where did you get that”

“Oscar made it for me” she says taking it out of the container it smells like a peanut butter protein bar “ooo come on share with me pleassss” yang says putting her hands together “ugh your lucky I’m a good sister” she breaks off a small piece and hands it to yang and takes a bite of her own and it’s amazing it Taste like a peanut butter brownie but somehow better it’s somehow not dried out or crumbly yang seems to have a similar opinion “god if you don’t marry Oscar i will his food is too good”yang says with a laugh  she kicks yang in the leg “I know right I can barely eat the cafeteria food anymore” her and yang chat a bit about food until they finally land Oscar is standing on the landing pad waiting for her she bounce on her heels excitedly despite how tired she is when the door finally opens she rushes out to hug him “how did it go” he asks wrapping his arms around her shoulders “oh it was easy but soooo boring I don’t know why they asked us to do it” she says leaning into him he chuckles “well I’m glad it wasn’t dangerous at least did you like it” he asks sheepishly she puts her head on his “yeees brothers it was great what was it” he unwraps his arms and looks at her “there’s no name for it yet but it’s kinda like a protein brownie was it too grainy or anything what about the after taste” he asks “I didn't even realize it was supposed to be healthy” she puts her hands on his shoulders “Oscar I’m gonna need more of that” he smiles “happy to make some more tonight” he says proudly yang walks past and ruffles his hair “make sure to make enough for me too kiddo” and walks off “how about that nap ruby my teams still on mission so we should have some time” he says taking her hand “yes please” 

They walk back to team alpns dorm room after ruby changes into something more casual Oscar was already wearing his normal clothing he sits on his bed and smiles “I’m gonna get to have two naps today” she sits down next to him and throws her arm around him "you and your team  sure like your naps huh" he smiles as they lie back on his bed "honestly who doesn't like naps I never use to be a huge cuddler but it’s nice to have someone close to you, you know” they lie back Oscar resting his head on rubies shoulder “well I do  wish my team took naps together sometimes yang is a big cuddler too but Weiss  doesn’t like being warm and Blake can’t sit still even so less than you” he snorts as he takes her hand running his thumbs along her knuckles  “well I’m sure the others wouldn’t mind you joining our naps if have to ask but i'll warn you ren sits up in his sleep  Jaune snores and i talk in my sleep” she raises an eyebrow “you didn't last time” she says “that's cause we were smoking  but if i take a nap or if im really tired you can actually talk and I'll talk back” she grins “well what do you talk about”  he rests his head on her chest “usually about my aunt or all yall but Nora has told me i say lots of stuff about you if i'm asked” he says his cheeks getting just a tiny bit rosy she grins and plants a kiss on his nose “well i hope i get the chance to ask but i'll probably fall asleep first im super tired” she rolls over and wraps herself around him oscar adjusting to lay on her arm pulling a blanket over them "well if you can get me to talk I'll answer any question just nothing to embarrassing please" he says  “i would like to know what you have to say tho so maybe i'll try to hold out just a bit longer” she says closing her eyes as oscar lets out his relaxed sigh about half of Oscars communication was nonverbal she liked to mentally catalog the things he does when he relaxes he lets out a long almost high pitched sigh it makes her happy to hear that and it helps her relax her thoughts starts to get fuzzy as sleep takes her she wakes up a few hours later laying on her back oscar laying on top of her them both having wrapped around each other she hears quiet murmurs  coming from him to quiet to understand "Oscar are you still asleep" she whispers no response "Oscar are you comfy" he nods his head "of course I'm comfy I'm cuddling with ruby" she snickers he was definitely still asleep "who's the coolest person you know" she she's "ruby for sure she's so good at fighting and everyone trusts her I wish I was more like her" she runs her hand through his hair "how do you feel about ruby " she asked "I'm in love with her she makes me feel strong and weak at the same time when she's with me I feel like I'm safe and that we could do anything together i want to be with her forever" she's crying now "oh shit I didn't expect him to be that honest" she thinks as tears run down her face "I love you too Oscar"     she kisses the top of his head “you know i never used to want like romantic stuff and all the fluffy garbage i just wanted to be a huntress and fight grim stuff like that but you  make me want that stuff i wanna take you on dates and like hold your hand and stuff there are a bunch of things i wanna do like” she pauses resting her head on his “i forgot you were asleep for a second i'm starting to embarrass myself i do love you tho i dont know when your supposed to say that we've only been i guess dating for what 2 and a half weeks my dad always joked that huntsmen relationships move really fast nothing like holy shit we might die to move a relationship forward right but you make me feel like i don't know amazing and I love being with you you make all my worries disappear even if it's only for a little bit and i'm rambling and your not talking back” oscar lifts his head “its cause im awake and i love it when you ramble” she feels her face light on fire “w-what when did you wake up” he hums happily “around we might die  i think it was nice that stuff you said you can ramble longer if you want what that new gun you saw in that magazine” she smiles “it's a roller delayed blowback sniper rifle its a smaller caliber than crescent rose but it has a longer effective range because of the way the bore is shaped i prefer bolt actions to semi automatics for a long range rifle semi autos have there merits and stuff it's a lot lighter than crescent rose as well on account of it not also being a giant scythe you know i was thinking about carrying a pistol too crescent rose is great but shes heavy and she's also really hard to conceal  even when shes folded speaking of i need to clean her gears a bunch of dust got in them today you said you wanted to learn weapon maintenance i could teach you today if you want” “sure i can learn there's a lot of things oz knows but it's like a big library without a librarian its all jumbled up” she scratches the back of his neck “well i do not understand the dewey decimal system but i'm happy to help” they both giggle at her joke ruby keeps rambling until the rest of team alpn return 

Oscar is walking ruby back to her dorm they come to her door and they turn to face each other and oscar rubs his hands together “so ruby uh I got permission with ironwood to leave school grounds as long as someone's with me so I was wondering if you’d like to maybe go out like on a date” she smiles and puts her arms around his shoulders “sounds amazing sweetie I’m free this weekend where do you want to go” he blushes and says “well I actually have something in mind but I wanna keep it a surprise if that’s ok” she kisses him on the cheek “of course casual clothes or should i dress nice” he shakes his head “i mean it's really up to you but were not going somewhere fancy just a place I think you'll like" she smiles and kisses his nose and he leans up a little so there lips are level "can i kiss you again" he asks just above a whisper her pressing her lips gently against his is her answer they  hold the kiss for a few moments Oscars hands drifting to ruby's waist when they separate  she says "i think we're getting pretty good at that" Oscar smiles avoiding her eyes "yeah um It's certainly enjoyable" they break the hug "I'll see you in the morning I'll make that stuff you like ok" he says "yes awesome you're the best Oscar good night" she says as she slips into her from her teammates giving her knowing smirks 

[imma-fucking-nerd]

Coming Home

(Connor x Anderson!Reader)

A/N: just got this idea literally now and i dont really have all the details down so sorry if it sucks :p

——————————————

It had been..... You don't even remember how long it's been since you've been in Detroit. But once you hear about everything that was going down with the androids you packed everything you needed, got into your car, and drove. Why were you so determined to go back? To go home? Well there was one reason.

Hank Anderson.

Your father.

When you left you changed your number and never brought his so you had no way of contacting him. No way of knowing if he was even still there or not with the whole evacuation. But you had a feeling his stubborn ass was still there, and if not you'd ask his captain where he went off to.

You nervously tapped your fingers against the steering wheel as you grew closer and closer to your childhood home. It'd felt like a whole other lifetime since you've seen it. You wondered if Sumo was still alive and kicking. You hoped so. You also hoped the same could be said about your father. Hoped he wasn't stupid enough to fight the androids who wanted freedom. You knew how much he hated the things.

Suddenly memories of the night you left started coming back to you. How he came home drunk once again, seemingly ignoring your existence. How you felt like you had enough. All the awful, hurtful things you screamed in a fit of anger and pain.

I wish it was you instead

That was the sentence you remember vividly saying the most. The sentence you regretted the most. You knew he was hurting, you were hurting too. But in the heat of the moment you needed to make him hurt more. Why? Now that you thought back on it no reason justified it. But you were just a kid who lost their brother and needed their father. A father who was so grief struck that he ended up neglecting his other child. At least thats how you saw it.

You didn't know why you didn't come home sooner. Maybe you thought if you built another life for yourself you could forget where you came from. But that wasn't how it worked. And you just hoped that it wasn't too late to make up for a young persons mistakes.

You were so lost in your thoughts you almost didn't realize you were right infront of your childhood home. It hurt to look at. However the dim lights that could be seen through the window gave you some hope that the pieces of a broken past could be mended.

Parking your car on the street you sat there for a moment. Then two. Then three. For some reason you just sat there, staring at the house. As if as soon as you got out it would disappear. Or maybe it was because your gut was twisting in anxiety of what was to come.

Sucking in a deep breath, you opened the car door and hopped out, stuffing your hands in your pockets after closing the door. You took slow steps towards the entrance, anxiety building up and twisting into knots in your stomach with each step. It wasn't too late to just turn around and leave. It wasn't too late to just forget again. But you knew you couldn't. Because one day it would be too late to get any sort of closure, and that was a thought you couldn't bare.

Your feet stopped once you reached the door and slowly you took out a hand from your pocked, raising it to knock on the door. To be honest they were pathetic attempts at knocking, as if you didn't want to be heard but at least you could yell yourself you tried. However it must have been loud enough because not too long after the door could be heard unlocking. Your heart was pounding in your chest and ears as you stared at the door.

Once it opened you expected to see the face of your father, shocked to see you there. However your heart dropped when you were faced with a young looking man with well kept dark chestnut hair and curious chocolatey brown eyes. But the thing that stood out to you the most was the LED on his right temple. He was an android. That couldn't be right.

"Can I help you?" The sound of his soft voice broke you out of your thoughts.

"I uh- I'm sorry I thought... I thought Hank Anderson lived here but I uh- I guess I was mistaken I'm sorry," you spoke as evenly as you could and tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to build.

He was gone. You were too late.

But just before you were about to turn around and quickly leave, the android spoke up.

"No you were correct, he still resides here. But I'm afraid he's a bit.... Indisposed at the moment," he spoke with a small awkward smile, looking back into the house for a second when he paused.

You gave a small sigh of relief. He wasn't dead. But then you just became confused. He lived with an android? What the hell happened when you were gone.

"May I ask who you are?" the android inquired politely, tilting his head slightly.

Jesus dad must hate this guy. 

"I uh- I'm.... I'm..." you stumbled over your words as you tried to explain just who you were.

You noticed the androids once pale blue turn yellow and his gaze on you grow a little more intense. What was he doing? Before you could even open you mouth to speak again his eyes suddenly widened.

"You're his daughter/son," he spoke softly, barely above a whisper.

Now it was your eyes turn to widen. How did he know that? Did he scan you or something? All you could do was give a small nod in return. The android's LED shifted from yellow back to it's passive blue.

"My apologies Ms/Mr Anderson, would you like to come in?" He opened the door wider for you as he spoke, offering another awkward smile.

"Y-Yeah. Thanks, and please just call me (Y/n)," you said, giving him a small smile in return as you too a step inside.

"Of course, Ms/Mr- I mean, (Y/n). My name is Connor, by the way," he spoke as he closed the door behind you and locked it.

Your small, somewhat forced smile immediately grew once your eyes landed on the old st bernard padding over to you, his tail wagging excitedly. You wasted no time crouching down and giving your old friend a hug, meanwhile he gave you lots of slobbery kisses.

"Hey Sumo, it's good to see you too," you said with a grin.

When you lifted your gaze up you immediately recognized the figure sprawled out on the couch, and your smile dropped. Not necessarily because you weren't happy to see him, but because it seemed as though he never changed. Slowly you stood back up, and Connor immediately noticed the small frown on your face, and the cause of it.

"Would you like me to wake and sober him up?" Connor asked quietly, making his way over to Hanks unconscious form.

"No! Uh no, no that's okay. I'll just, wait until he wakes up in the morning. It's fine," Connor stopped at the sound of your voice and nodded.

"I should put him to bed then," was all he said before he started to drag your drunken father from the couch.

You could hear him grumbling and cursing under his breath as Connor dragged him along to the his bedroom. Despite knowing he probably wouldn't even know you were there, anxiety built in your heart of the possibility of hearing him say your name again. You hoped to god you wouldn't hear that. You didn't want your first meeting with him after years to be when he's too drunk to even see straight.

Luckily Connor was quick to putting him to bed, completely ignoring his ramblings because as soon as his face hit the pillow he was out like a light one more. Once your father was gone you sunk onto the couch with a heavy sigh, your eyes cast downwards. You really did not think this was how this night was going to go. But you supposed it could be worse. You father could have been dead. At least he had someone looking after him.

Looking up you saw Connor awkwardly standing infront of you. He was staring at you, his LED blinking yellow once again. It honestly made you a little bit uncomfortable and you awkwardly shifted on the spot you were sitting on. Thankfully Sumo was there to shift your focus as he hopped up next you you and rested his head on your lap. Just like old times. A small smile graced your lips as you pet the hounds head.

"Do you have anywhere to stay?" Connor suddenly asked, breaking the silence.

That question made you realize that you in fact, did not have a plan of where you were going to go if things went south.

"Uhhh no. Not really. But I could get a motel or something," you answered, looking up at him sheepishly.

"Nonsense," he shook his head, "I doubt the Lieutenant would have any problems with you staying here. As long as you don't mind the couch, that is."

You rose a brow slightly at the use of the title your father earned.

"I'm his partner," he quickly added as he noticed your confused face.

"Ah, that makes sense. Bet he was thrilled when he got that news," you chuckled softly.

"He was not. But I like to think I've grown on him," Connor smiled, your sarcasm completely going over his head.

You opened your mouth to say something but shut it, a small smile spreading across your lips. You knew for a fact that Connor must have driven your father nuts just from that alone. But in all honesty you thought it was kind of endearing.

"Anyways, I think I will stay. But where will you go?" you asked without really thinking.

"Androids don't require sleep," he answered simply.

"Right," you responded quietly, your cheeks growing warm in embarrassment.

Suddenly Connor turned on his heel and went into the linen closet for a moment before coming back with a spare blanket and pillow.

"Here you go, I hope these will suffice," he said as he handed them over to you.

"Yeah these will be fine, thanks," you smiled up at him as you took them from his hands.

You tossed the pillow to the other side of the couch and gave Sumo one last pet before shooing him off the couch.

"I uh hope you don't mind if I go to sleep now," you said as you unfolded the blanket and layed it out for yourself.

"Of course, I completely understand. You must be very tired, I'll be sitting in the kitchen if you need me," he spoke with a soft smile before turning to the kitchen.

It wasn't that far but it was the best he could do to give you some privacy. But before he left your small voice stopped him.

"Hey Connor?"

"Yes, (Y/n)?" he inquired, looking back at you and tilting his head slightly.

"Can you please wake me up before my dad gets up? I don't really want to be asleep when he first see's me," you almost pleaded, your gaze shifting away from him during the last sentence.

"Of course, (Y/n)," he nodded, making sure to keep note to not bee in sleepmode for too long.

"Thanks," you smiled up at him as you took off your jacket, letting it drop to the floor unceremoniously.

"It's no problem. Goodnight, (Y/n). It was a pleasure meeting you," he said with surprising sincerity, picking up your jacket and folding it neatly as he spoke.

"Thanks Connor, it was nice meeting you too," and that was the last thing you said before you laid your head on the pillow and drifted off to sleep.

It must have been the morning already because you woke up to Connor softly shaking you and calling out your name.

"My apologies (Y/n) but you asked that I wake you up before your father saw you, and I'm quite sure he'll be awake any moment," he spoke softly and slowly so your waking brain would understand what was going on.

Immediately any tiredness in you left as Connors words sunk in. This was it. It was finally time. You sat up and went to stand, maybe a little too fast because you suddenly felt dizzy and accidentally stumbled into Connor. Before you could mumble out an apology the android spoke.

"Are you alright?" His voice was laced with concern and you couldn't help feel heat rise up to your cheeks.

"Uh y-yeah, I'm fine. Just stood up too fast, sorry," you mumbled quickly and before any of you could say anything else a new, but all too familiar voice spoke up.

"Connor, who the fuck is-" Hank stopped mid sentence once he saw your face and his expression immediately softened and any hangover symptoms he was going to bitch about suddenly didn't matter.

"(Y/n)?"

"Hi Dad."

———————————————

A/N: holy shit i feel like i really started to fuck up during the end there ugh im sorry. Also sorry there's not much (y/n) and Hank interaction. Maybe I'll do a part 2 if y'all want idk. Anyways hope y'all enjoyed!

[hansolmates]

vernon; blossomed (m)

feat. tattoo artist!vern x flower shop fem!reader based on nonnie’s big brain

genre/warnings: flangst, lang, wild generalizations of how tattooing works, gratuitous love for side characters, mild drinking, phineas and ferb references, mild foreplay

word count: 12k

Vernon called you his Rose. 

Not exactly his Rose, because you were definitely not anyone’s property and he wanted to give you nothing but your full autonomy, but it’s because he’s never had the chance to ask for your real name. 

But when he first spotted you in the little lavender and honey colored flower shop across the street, you were tending to the rose bushes at the front entrance. You were cutting roses and you didn’t look utterly graceful, in fact you stabbed yourself more than once with the thorns. He couldn’t help but laugh when you laughed when your co-worker had to hand you a new bandage every minute. 

He decided then that he liked you, even if it’s not wholly sexual or romantic, he liked you. 

Or maybe he just liked the idea of you, the way you’d lounge around in the canopy swing with your boots tucked under the seat, fluffy yellow socks wiggling out in the sun. Sometimes you’d read a book, sometimes for well over an hour. He liked how you soaked up the heat and created your own little world, happily unproductive. 

It was only a seven meter walk from the flower shop to the tattoo parlor, but the view from his front window required zero walking distance and a sure-fire lack of ever bumping into you. 

“Vernie’s got a crush on the Flower Girl,” Yoongi sing-songed, chugging along a box full of random-ass materials that Vernon was supposed to clean in the morning. 

Vernon scowled, and swatted away the older one’s hand when it dived in front of his face. 

Yoongi whistled like he was an old-time animation, singing the day away. “Vernie’s stalking his crush.” 

“I’m not stalking,” Vernon snapped, swiveling around in his rolling chair. “that involves shit like literally following her around,  photography, I dunno, being a weirdo?” 

“You definitely qualify for one of those.” Yoongi replied tartly, and he fought the urge to grin when Vernon finally turned back to the window, only to narrowly miss your form. The swing was now unoccupied, the only thing remnant were your working boots lined up against the entrance. “It’s been what, two weeks? Just ask her out already.” 

“You think I would’ve done that by now if there wasn’t a reason why?“ 

Soooo you were dating someone. Some super tall, super handsome guy would stroll up to the flower shop every morning, coffee in hand. Before you’d take your proffered coffee, he’d pucker his lips for a good-morning kiss in repayment. Vernon looked back to Yoongi, who was staring right back at him and confirming his suspicions that yes he was being a fucking weirdo for paying attention to things like that. 

Yoongi pressed his lips together, puffing his cheeks out in slight irritation. “So you’re stalking a taken girl,” he whistled lowly, “should I regret hiring you?” 

“Not funny.” 

“As repayment for effectively creeping me out,” The older one slipped his hand into his electric yellow windbreaker to twirl Vernon a ring of keys. “You’re closin’ up for tonight.” 

The brunette’s jaw dropped to his lap, and he got up from his spot by the window. “What? What happened to Minghao?” 

“Sick,” Yoongi shrugged. 

Closing up meant that Vernon had to stay until 12AM, at the very least. The area was off a college town and that meant a lot of young lucrative artists would stop by pretty late, hence the closing time. Usually Yoongi and Minghao were the night owls, but tonight Minghao was supposed to fly solo because Yoongi landed a last-minute recording gig. “C’mon, can I at least close early?” Vernon whined, “it’s summer. No one’s here.” 

“What, ya gotta date or something?” Yoongi smirked, swinging the entrance open. Halfway out the door, he added loftily, “don’t forget to water Patricia. It’s been two weeks.” 

The door slammed and Vernon was left alone. He spared a glance at the window, only to see that your boots were now gone from the patio and only one light was on in the shop. Vernon turned to his company for the night, their jade succulent, aptly named Patricia Planty. 

With Patricia Planty watered and a stomach full of Wendy’s nuggets in his body, Vernon busied himself up for a grueling five hours. Thankfully he brought in his laptop, as if he were expecting Yoongi to pull a fast one on him tonight. He drew some random things on his tablet: rockets, stars, the occasional squirrel, and roses. When he was tired of drawing, he’d blast the speakers off the joint and mess around with some of his music programming. When he was tired of doing both, he’d vegetate on the couch and read Reddit articles. 

It was past eleven when the first customer of the night stumbled in. Vernon fought the urge to groan, putting down the pen of his tablet on a particularly intricate constellation. 

“We’re closed!” He yelled through the office door. A white lie, but who would know? 

“Google said you were open until 12!” A voice yelled back, sounding slightly strained. 

Crap. Vernon lowered the volume and pushed away the swivel chair, swinging the office door open. With a rough clear of his throat and hoping not to look like too much of a jerk, he faced his customer, “Welcome to Nu ABO—” 

It was you. Cheeks ruddied, and your eyes glassed with a fresh glaze of tears. Your lower lip worried into a wobbly frown. Vernon’s Reebok’s glued to the concrete of the parlor, effectively stopping him in his tracks. The smell of mulch and a mixture of flowers penetrated his nostrils, but it did nothing to distract the utter hurt etched on your face. 

“Um, hey,”  his voice was gentle, yet unsure. “What are you doing here?” 

You just looked at him, incredulous. Vernon could have sworn he saw your left eyebrow twitch. Of course, you’ve never met him in your entire life, yet Vernon felt like he knew you since the beginning of your summer work. “Gettin’ a tattoo.” You replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, rubbing away a stray tear. 

He didn’t want to say it, but Vernon sighed and reasoned, “But it’s just that, ya kinda look—” 

You brushed past him, going straight into the artist room and plopping on the worn leather chair meant for customers. It was still high up because Vernon was cleaning the underside of the metal, so you had to do a little hop to get on. “I don’t care what kind of design. I looked up your Yelp online and everything looked pretty good.” And you then proceeded to unbutton the top of your blouse. 

“Holy shit,” he bounded over to you, grappling his fingers between your shirt before you could undo the rest of it. His breath was probably hot and heavy, compared to yours which was fresh from the cool summer air. Your faces were so close, closer than he ever fathomed. He didn’t think you two would meet this early in the year, as he was emotionally preparing to visit your flower shop at the end of the month, making up some spiel on how he needed to purchase real roses to replicate a commission. Not now. Now was a spontaneous episode, where he was trying to refasten your shirt and ignore the petal pink lace of your bra baiting his eyes. 

When he sensed that you would in fact, stop taking your shirt off, he backed up. “It’s just that, after eleven we don’t really apply tattoos. We just take consultations.” He tried to sound defeated, rubbing the back of his neck. Again, another lie. But Vernon wasn’t about to ink you on the spot, especially when you looked like this. 

“Is it because I’m upset?” You cried, “because I assure you, I’m in the right mind!” 

He winced, lolling his head back and forth. “That’s debatable.” 

You frowned, “C’mon, I have money. Just do me this one solid.” 

“What? No, you don’t even know what you want!” Vernon was exasperated. Not that he imagined the first time meeting you would be a walk in the park, but at the same time he wasn’t expecting to argue with you. 

"Don’t you want to be part of my spontaneous young life? Give me a tattoo that I’ll think about with my children 30 years from now?” He would laugh if you didn’t look like you were crying a river ten minutes ago. “As long as it’s not a tramp stamp, because I don’t think I can pull that off—" 

"Did you break up with your boyfriend or something?” Vernon blurted out before he could regret it. 

Your face morphed into something Vernon couldn’t understand. Pain, for sure. But a sort of relief knowing that you didn’t have to hide it. “Damn,” you give him a tired smile, “does the whole town know or something?" 

You cried again. This time, Vernon reacted quicker. Pulling out a Wendy’s napkin from his flannel pocket, he proffered it to you. He was thankful you didn’t question whether it was clean or not (it was!) and you proceeded to cover your snot and tears all over it. 

"Do you wanna talk about it?" 

You sniffled and blew a particularly large chunk of snot before you shook your head. 

"Do you… want fries?” He gestured to the small table in the room, which had some leftover fries from his combo. “I can heat ‘em up in the microwave." 

Due to the fact that you ran out of tissue room, you rubbed your face with the entirety of your sleeve. You peeked out mid-rub, and replied with a soft, "hell yeah I do." 

His heart twitched. Even betwixt your teary expression, you were so freakin’ cute. He shuffled back to the office, nuking the leftovers in the microwave until they were piping hot. Vernon waited a bit for them to get cool, and fiddled with the music so a soft R&B playlist bounced off the walls. He couldn’t believe you were here. Scratch that, he could, because you were bound to run into him one day due to pure proximity. 

But he didn’t imagine you’d be plopped in his artist room at 11:32, bleary eyed and shoving potatoes in your mouth. 

Vernon busied himself with his phone, and typed a hasty you wouldn’t believe what just happened… to the employee group chat. 

[June 11, 11:33PM]

Bo$$ man: dont tell me u put aluminum in the microwave AGAIN

Hao hao: the chinese mafia came for me, didnt they? good thing I called out 

Jeonghan is a prick: use your resources! sharp items are everywhere :) emergency money is under Patricia’s table

Bernie: tf is wrong w all of you 

Bernie: SHES HEREEEEEE

"M'sorry,” you mumbled with a mouthful of fries, breaking Vernon from his mid-text crisis. He felt his phone buzzing like hell as he shoved it in his pocket, but ignored it for the sake of you. Your previous high of emotions has long worn off, and now you were looking a little embarrassed as you fixed your gaze on the empty container of fries. Your face is blotchy and red, and you’re especially puffy due to the salt you just consumed. “I should go home." 

He didn’t want to be intrusive, but the look on your face showed it was clear that you didn’t want to go home just yet. Drumming his fingers against the metal table, he casually suggested, "Why don’t I do your back?" 

You looked at him like he was crazy. "You still wanna tattoo me? After I cried like an idiot and ate your fries?" 

"You’re not an idiot for being upset. And I offered you my fries.” He pulled out an ink canister, and a thin needle. “This is temporary ink we use to practice, or for customers who wanna test out the look. Lasts one to two weeks. And y'know, it’s a nice distraction." 

You looked skeptical, unsure of his kindness. "Why my back?" 

He shrugged, "It’s the biggest canvas. And if you don’t like it, you don’t have to look at it." 

Still, you’re not convinced. There was something strange about him, something almost too sweet. While your schema may be marred by television and movies, the man in front of you didn’t seem like he quite fit into this little shack. He’s full of color, in his eyes and in his stature, his words clean and pure as he tries to soothe your aching heart. And as much as you tried not to check him out, you spotted no tattoos on any viewable part of his body. 

"And it’s kind of cathartic, really.” He watched your lips quirk up in a smile at the word usage. Not only sweet, but probably smart. Your first smile all night. Cheeks effortlessly heated, he continued, “you kinda just let go into the feeling. And it’s always fun to not know what’s been drawn until the very end." 

You’re curious. There’s excitement in your vision as he gestured to the available cot, inviting you. "Alright. Ink me up." 

Vernon grinned, and started preparing the workspace. Handing you a medical gown, he quickly shuffled away to prepare the ink and needles. He didn’t really work with the clients as deeply as this, he was really just a glorified secretary that took care of the consultation. While he washed his hands, he heard the faint rustle of fabric, definitely your shirt and bra. He turned up the temperature of the water, acutely aware of how hot his hands were getting. 

"Um,” your voice is muffled from being pressed up against the cot, your face presumably propped with pillows. “So are you Yoongi?" 

"Nah, I’m Vernon.” He wheeled over a cart full of supplies, the metal clanging against the concrete. “’M usually the guy who wipes the sweat off his brow." 

You hummed your own name in response, resting your cheek in the plushness of the cotton pillow. There’s a number of sounds paired with the R&B in the background. The smack of Vernon putting on gloves, the click of the needles and the slickness of the balm Vernon has applied on your back. His touch was warm, as his palm crescents across your back to soothe the balm into your skin. He then wiped it down with a paper towel until your skin was smooth and dry. 

"Any ideas yet?” He asked, and from the corner of your eye you see him switch out a needle for a new ink pen. 

“Maybe, stars?” Your voice is muffled against the cushions, as you’re hugging them close to your body. “And maybe something inspired by Spiderman? I liked that new one with Miles, he’s a cool one." 

You could hear the smile in his voice, "I liked that one, too." 

You stuff your own smile in your pillow, how embarrassing could it be that this stranger can make you feel better so fast? Mingyu would be groveling if he saw you now, topless, letting a man ink you up in however way he wished. "Will it hurt?" 

He chuckled at that, "Nah. The ink will sit on top and sink in, I barely have to apply any pressure. Just relax." 

Under the discretion of Vernon, who offered you fries and liked Spiderman, you relaxed. The first stroke of the needle and you were a goner. You closed your eyes and let him do his thing, You couldn’t tell what exactly was going on through his mind as he was painting your back, but you could tell his art was rather cacophonous: stiff pokes here and there, smooth strokes, and wide breaths of ink staining your back. The ink melted into your skin, bonding to your cells under Vernon’s careful control. 

It was almost 1AM when he finished. He tapped your back, urging you up. Tired, and slightly dazed, you sat up. You realized a little too late that you’re only wearing a thin hospital gown, the straps having fallen midway through the process. The air was cool against your skin. 

Vernon totally would’ve gotten a complete view of your sideboob if he wasn’t blushing like a maniac and looking away, and you respected that. His arm is punched out, fisting your button down. You hastily snatched it away, and turned around in order to look decent. 

“The ink won’t show up fully for another six hours, so until then let me know how you like it.” 

“Thank you so much,” you smiled gratefully as you do the last button of your blouse, and pulled out your phone. “Do you accept Venmo or Cashapp?” 

“Oh, yeah.” He accepted the proffered device, and put in the necessary charges. 

Once he gave back your phone, you added a sizable tip to the price he typed up. “The time really flew by,” you noted the time on the corner of your phone, 1:07. “It was really, an experience like you said.” 

He shrugged, and threw you an easy smile. “I try.” 

"Can I get a real tattoo from you someday? Y'know, when I’m ready?" 

"Ah, no. I’m not really under the apprenticeship.” He looked bashful when he said it, as if he were caught doing something wrong. “I just work here for the part time money. I do art on the side, though.” 

You had the urge to ask what he doesn’t do on the side, but it was late and you were probably holding up the poor guy for your trivial questions. “Regardless, I’m still thankful it was you that did this for me.” 

In three strides, he opened the small door for you. “My pleasure. Have a good night. Or, morning. Or if you’re one of those people who don’t consider it morning unless it’s light out, then good night?” 

“Good night,” you giggled, “get home safely.” 

“You too.” 

The screen door slammed shut behind you, along with the main door. Your car is parked in the grass patching of the flower shop. You jogged over, and the summer air made you shiver, your back still raw and warm under Vernon’s touch. 

You couldn’t wait until the flower shop closed. 

If Wonwoo noticed that you moved the porch swing relative to the placement of Nu ABO, he hasn’t brought it up. You weren’t spying on Vernon, no. But your skin was starting to itch with curiosity and in your haste to leave last night, you didn’t even ask what he designed on your back. 

“Are you stalking the tattoo guy?” 

Despite the voice being petal soft, you flinched. Assistant Manager Joshua Hong with a bouquet of boat lilies, was accusing you of stalking. His Converse tapped rhythmically against the wood paneling, looking down at you like a guilty child.  

“What?” you floundered, waving around the florist magazine in your hands. “Josh, I’m studying! And the sun was in my face so I moved the swing.” 

“You’re studying,” Joshua flickered his eyes to the run down shack across the road. “The tattoo guy?” 

“I already said I wasn’t!” 

“Then you’re telling me you spent all last night doing that,” he reached over to tug at your starched work collar, “all by yourself?” 

Your hand flew to your neck, as if you were trying to hide Vernon’s hard work. “I just wanna see what he did, all right? And I’m trying to be very patient until closing because if Wonwoo sees me going there,” you jerked a head none-too-gracefully at the direction of the parlor, “he’s gonna tell you-know-who.” 

Joshua frowned, because he already knew. After all, he stayed in the back room with you all last night, wiping away your tears. “Well, whoever did it is truly an artist,” he said genuinely, “it’s beautiful.” 

Joshua finally left you alone, and you suddenly felt emptier than before. Sure, the breakup with Mingyu was conventionally bad, but why were you so conflicted with your feelings? You didn’t want Mingyu to know you were hanging out with other guys, but you wanted to let go of him. Maybe you were trying too hard too fast. 

But Vernon made everything so, so easy. 

No, you are not letting him be a rebound. The inner conflict in your head was giving you a massive headache, you couldn’t tell if the vibes you were feeling last night were because of the recent breakup or just an authentic spark. 

The storm door shuttered boldly, and you jumped. Wonwoo stepped out, and gave you a weird look. “You alright?” 

“Me? Yeah, fine.” You gripped the collar of your shirt and pretended to fasten the buttons. 

He was unconvinced, either that or the pinched look he was sporting was an indicator of a bad day. “Listen, I know things are gonna be weird because my best friend is your, y’know,” he trailed off, painfully trudging through this conversation as easily as trudging through quicksand. “He’s gonna stop by a couple more times during the week, doing me a few errands. So if you wanna take the week off, recalibrate before the the month ends, just let me know. ” 

“Won, please,” you wanted this to end, “we don’t have to talk about this, alright?” 

He awkwardly twirled around his car keys. “Alright.” As simple as that, he threw himself in his sedan and drove off, dirt brushing the pavement. 

You glared at the dust cloud until his car was far from your sights, the mustard color blinding your vision. “Honestly,” you said to yourself, finally hopping off your swing into the direction of the shack, “he thinks I’m five and never experienced heartbreak.” 

“Welcome to Nu ABO!” this voice was different, and you slowed your steps. It doesn’t quite have the husk that Vernon’s voice held, but definitely matched the energy. The boy stepped out, and his eyes sparkled in recognition. “Flower Girll,” he said to himself, and you suddenly felt like you got caught, “I don’t think we’ve met before.” 

"We haven’t,” you replied warily at the pet name, “where’s Vernon?" 

"Oh, he’s around.” The guy waved noncommittally to the air in the room, crouching his head to look down at you. He stuffed his hands in his black overalls, which covered a painfully bright rainbow tye-dye tee. “Curious to see Vern’s ink though. He’s only ever done small stuff.” 

“I thought he wasn’t an apprentice.” 

 He flicked his wrist around to show you a beautiful line of Chinese calligraphy. "Keep the secret between us, ‘kay?” He winked. 

“Minghao, leave her alone.” Vernon stepped out of the small bathroom hidden in the artist room, a white towel behind his neck. You took in his disheveled appearance. His face was red from washing his face, and he wore the same clothes from yesterday. “Hey.” He said. 

“Hi,” you replied, “did you sleep here last night?" 

"Uh, yeah.” Vernon rubbed at his neck again, and stuffed the towel in his backpack. “I usually do the morning and afternoon shifts, I covered for this guy last night,” he jabbed his fist in Minghao’s shoulder, “but still had to do my day shift.” 

“So,” Minghao rocked back and forth in his boots, “why are you here?” 

You suddenly felt self-conscious, and gripped your phone between your two palms. A little part of you was disappointed that Vernon was not alone, but another part of you was relieved. It helped slow down the pace of your feelings (feelings?) that was heading in a direction you were not anticipating. “I wanted to say thank you again for last night.” You coughed, and Minghao grinned wider at your explanation. “And I was wondering if you could take a picture of my back? I haven’t had a chance to look at it.” 

He beamed, and you could tell he was happy that you wanted to document his work. “Oh, of course! I completely forgot last night.” 

Vernon moved to grab your phone, but Minghao swiped a hand in front of him. “Can I take your photo?” He asked you, although the look in his eyes said that you didn’t have much of a choice. 

Your cheeks burned at the sudden intrusion. “Huh?” 

“I mean, have you seen this guy’s Insta?” Minghao scoffed, albeit playfully as Vernon mirrored your flush. 

“What are you talking about?” Vernon exclaimed, thoroughly insulted, “my profile is tastefully abstract.” 

“It looks like it was tastefully done by a three year old.” Minghao pulled out his iPhone, and adjusted the filters. “I’m doing you a favor here, Flower Girl.” 

You looked warily at Vernon, who slumped in defeat, “If you’re going for that e-girl vibe, I guess Hao’s a better photographer.” 

“Better than your pictures coming out blurry.” Minghao shot back, holding the camera to your face. “There’s no light in here,” Minghao glared at the singular window in their tiny studio, the sill decorated with a single jade succulent. “Got any ideas?" 

Vernon shrugged, "You said I have the taste of a three year old, so." 

With Wonwoo gone for the day, you realized that you did have an idea of where you could take a tasteful picture. The thrill excited and terrified you. You only wanted a simple picture to see what it looked like, but Minghao looked as equally as excited to see your ink. Maybe it was the fact that the art was fleeting or that Vernon was really that talented, but it encouraged you to offer the setting up.

"I think our greenhouse has plenty of light,” you gestured out the studio’s only window, which was in perfect view of the flower shop. “We should be closing up soon, so it’s free." 

Minghao nodded approvingly, "We can try." 

And with a hasty "be back @ 4:20!” sign taped on the front door to Nu ABO, the three of them walked across the street to the greenhouse. 

You went in first, nearly bumping into Joshua who was bent over, pot in hand. 

“Hey Josh,” you grabbed the keys from the front desk, “borrowing the greenhouse." 

"Hey Josh,” Minghao and Vernon mimicked, who found it amusing that you just brushed by without an introduction. 

You rolled your eyes, hearing them exchange pleasantries and bro fists. The plexiglass doors to the greenhouse unlocked with a turn of your key, the smell of heat and grassy rain hitting your nostrils. Joshua placed the pot somewhere, following suit as the boys were right behind you. 

“Awesome,” Minghao exhaled, stepping further into the greenhouse. It was a small one, but comfortable enough for a couple patrons to browse around. “I’m gonna move around some plants if that’s okay, I gotta vision.” 

Joshua looked a little frazzled watching Minghao talk to himself and start moving the settings around (“The hydrangeas don’t go there, are you crazy?”) and started helping Minghao move the pots and placements around. You and Vernon hung around the entrance, giggling to yourselves. 

You tried to bump his shoulder, which didn’t even reach his. “So, what’s your Insta handle?” 

He quirked his brows at that, “Why, so you can judge my aesthetic too?” 

“No,” you replied, faking your shock. “I would never insult your taste!” 

With a roll of his eyes he said, “Speaking of taste, since your shift is over and my shift is over,” Vernon rocked back and forth on his feet. “Wanna grab a bite?” 

Something’s fluttering in your stomach, and you stomp it down. It’s an innocent invite, yes. Unfortunately it was not-so-innocent in your twisted mind knowing that you are still fresh from a breakup, yet your backed is marked with Vernon’s work. “You must be tired though,” you tried to reason, “you should get some rest, I don’t wanna bother you.” 

“Not a bother,” he said immediately, “besides, I wanna ask you something.” 

That got you curious. Before you had a chance to ask, Minghao was ushering you over, telling you to stand in front of a bundle of orchids. They’ve bloomed a Canary yellow, encasing you in a golden ring of flowers overlooking the terrace. The new friend has gestured for you to undo your shirt and he turned away in respect. It’s different with an audience and an expectation.  You made haste to undo the buttons of your blouse, then your bra, throwing it aside. You felt the warm, moist air kiss your back, and you heard a low whistle coming from Minghao. 

“Beautiful,” Minghao exhaled, “Vern, you’ve outdone yourself." 

Beautiful. Vernon made you beautiful.

Your body was simmering, and you could do nothing as you let Minghao photograph you. You focused your eyes on a puddle dripping from a faucet in front of you, counting the seconds between each droplet. 

“And, done.” 

You shoved on your clothes, and felt extra awkward as you fumbled to reach for the straps of your bra. You nearly slipped on the puddle as you walked back to the boys, who were busy over Minghao’s shoulder. 

“Super awesome,” Minghao handed you the phone brightly, “so much texture and feeling.” 

The screen showed a halo of foliage that surrounded your bare back, blush orchids kissing the frame with color. Your work shirt bundled under your hips, and fell under your elbows to reveal a city sky. You were breathless, zooming in to capture every detail of the ink. A navy sky, blanketing buildings across your back in a diagonal, splaying from the bottom right to the top left. On the bottom, skyscrapers reaching for the stars. 

If you zoomed in enough, you could tell that the stars were shaped like roses. 

“I don’t know how many times I’ve said thank you in the past two days,” you started, causing Vernon to grin widely. “But thank you, I’ve never felt so beautiful.” 

Vernon scoffed, “I didn’t do anything, I’ve only enhanced your beauty. That’s our shtick.” 

You handed Minghao back your phone and thanked him. He then rushed off, saying he had to stay at the parlor since Yoongi was coming soon. Immediately, Joshua began putting back the plants in their rightful places. You and Vernon followed suit, starting with the smaller ones. 

“So,” Vernon picked up a tray of succulents, “are we still on for dinner?” 

Wide-eyed Joshua crept in-between the foliage, laughably appearing under a series of hanging plants like a madman. “Dinner?” he asked, looking between you two. 

“Yeah man,” Vernon reached to pull Joshua away from the plants, “wanna come?” 

Simultaneously disappointed and relieved, you let out a subconscious exhale. Joshua was coming, which meant that there would be no possibility for feeling weird (or catching feels), being awkward or fighting any oncoming feelings with Vernon. 

"On Thursdays there’s this really good half-off sushi deal by my place. We can take out and eat at my apartment?” Joshua’s kindness was palpable at the offering of his home, and the both of you smiled gratefully.

Not more than two hours later, the three of you are bundled away in Joshua’s two-room, empty boxes of carryout stacked high. The television was playing reruns of Full House, the only source of light in the dim space. 

“Are you gonna go home soon?” Vernon asked, and turned his head to the corner of the room. Joshua is cuddled up in the single couch, tucked in a wearable blanket with the armholes. 

You shrugged, “I dunno. Usually I crash here for sushi nights,” you patted the couch lovingly, “This is my second bed.” 

Vernon chuckled, tucking his feet under his thighs. It made him look impossibly small in comparison to how tall and lanky he actually was.

“So, what did you want to ask me?” 

Vernon looked between his legs, as if he were trying to piece his words together. “Long story short, I got waitlisted at my top graduate school option,” he then pulled up his phone, revealing the picture of your back that was taken that afternoon, “but I was thinking that if I made a portfolio of this kind of art, it would really tip my application over the edge. Originally I was thinking of just sending my usual art, but it just popped in my head today while we were doing it.” He looked up through his eyelashes, wisps of copper looking expectantly at you. “If you’re comfortable with it, would you be my canvas?”  

“Live art,” you surmised, “honestly, I’m honored that you would want me to be a part of something so big. You think I’m that good?” 

No, you weren’t doubting Vernon’s art one bit. The fact that your back would be out on display for a bunch of strangers was unnerving, to say the least. 

“Are you kidding?” Vernon zoomed out of the image, revealing the curve of your back and the generation of life reflected in the greenhouse. “This is wicked. You’re stunning. We’d make a great team!” 

You felt your body heat at the statement. His presence was almost too refreshing, and you wanted to return the favor of helping you out last night. 

“Lucky for you,” you shot a quick text to Wonwoo, “I’ve planned to take this week off.” 

Over the course of the week Vernon wanted to do an artistic timeline of sorts, adding and retouching the already existing ink on your back until the canvas was full. It felt fulfilling, letting yourself become a vessel of success for someone. The following day, Vernon shot you a text revealing his portfolio, and said how excited he was to see you. 

You met in the shack after his shift, and Vernon let you into the office and locked the door. You can hear the rap being played in the artist room where Minghao and Yoongi were working with a client.

The artist was muttering to himself as he invited you to sit at the couch. Something about whether he wanted to start from the “top-down” or “bottom-up.” Instead of contributing to his madness, you turned away from him and started shedding your shirt. Today was a plain cotton shirt, and you shucked it off and balled it in your arms. 

No less than five seconds was Vernon’s hands on your back, and despite the warmth radiating from his fingertips, you couldn’t help but shiver. Vernon had explained that while he did a large portion of your back the first time, there was still room for growth and he wanted your back filled by the end of the week. 

“Do you mind if I,” his hand hovered over your bra. 

You shook your head, and with his thumb and forefinger he flicked off both your bra straps with ease. Your hands flooded themselves in the fabric of your t-shirt, which silently accepted your death grip. 

“Sorry, do you feel weird?” He definitely sensed your lack of vocality, and put one strap back in case. 

“I’m fine,” your voice is light, what else could you say? 

“Whatever you say,” he hummed, and resumed his work. 

You opt to take in the sounds. Minghao laughed about something in the other room, coupled with the zing of the needle. The music pulled to a stop and boomeranged back into a smoother arrangement. 

“I think we’ll start from the bottom-up and build from there,” he then placed his hands around your waist, poking at the dive between your waist and your bottom. 

There’s an unmistakable heat that pooled within you, which caused you to wring your shirt harder. It was going to be a long week. 

By Wednesday, he was in your apartment, working on the sides of your waist. The day after every session, Vernon would take a picture of yesterday’s work and show it to you. A gummy grin would always take over his face, either proud of himself or happy that you loved the new addition. 

Despite the fact that the only thing covering your body was a thin gown medical taken from the shop, every pore of your body felt unbelievably hot. You really shouldn’t be mixing alcohol on a Wednesday night, but Vernon was excited that he was halfway done with the project and it was time to be “poppin’ bottles.” 

You felt a little drowsy as a result of that, but nothing terrible. Like he said, the feeling was cathartic. 

“Aren’t you drunk too?” you murmured into your navy blue whale plush, “what if you accidentally stab me?” 

Vernon laughed, and it shook the couch. You couldn’t see his face as he sat on the floor, getting in the crevices of your skin. He poked at your skin a little harder than usual, as if he were testing the possibility. “That’d still take a lot of strength.” 

“You’d be surprised,” you sighed, “those little sticks florists use to keep the babies upright? Flat as a thumb and I still manage to impale tomatoes with them.” He doesn’t respond to that, and you’re left drowning in your own answer. You wondered if he truly thought you were a crazy tomato-killer, or was concentrated on detailing a particular patch of skin. “Can I tell you a secret?” you blurted, “honestly, I think flowers are beautiful, but I really hate working at the florist. The only reason I’m doing it is because Joshua really needed the help and he knew I wasn’t going to do shit until my city job starts in September.” 

“Huh,” Vernon stopped, resting the heel of his hand on your back. “That’s funny. Explains all the cursing when you’re cutting roses outside.” 

“You’ve watched me outside?” you grinned into your cushion, “creepy much?” 

“Do you wanna know a secret?” Vernon blurted, evading your question with one of his own, “I’ve had the biggest crush on you since you came by in May.” 

You tensed, and if Vernon noticed, he didn’t react. He kept on doing his business, marking your back with baby’s breath. It had to be the alcohol talking. If he drank at all, you couldn’t even tell because you couldn’t get up and he was strikingly coherent. All this time, and you didn’t even notice? 

“You don’t have to answer,” he said, as if he knew you were strung speechless. “I just, wanted to say it. We’re cool.” 

And you agreed, pretending to fall asleep. 

Friday was around the corner before you knew it, and Vernon wanted to photograph the final piece where it all started. The greenhouse was devoid of human life at the crack of dawn, unless you counted Joshua who was asleep on the counter because he was the only one with a key that knew of your recent escapades with Vernon. 

Vernon was just as tired as you are, but he was adamant about having the photo taken at dawn, as the first picture was taken in the late day. There was some contrived symbolism attached to it that you didn’t really understand, but you trusted his vision. Besides, your panda eyes wouldn’t be revealed in the photo, so you could master the art of sleeping upright while he took photos. 

“Alright,” Vernon set up his camera. He was dressed in a university zip up and matching sweatpants, like he just rolled out of bed. “Everything’s set up, whenever you’re ready.” 

Likewise with you, and you pulled off your hoodie, not bothering with a bra. Despite the fact that the room was temperature controlled, the cold morning air still managed to worm its way to your bare top. You quickly rubbed down your gooseflesh with your palms.  

You two engaged in a comfortable silence as you tested out your poses and he adjusted his frame. After a couple of practice shots, the air seemed calmer.

“Cold?” Vernon asked casually.

“Anything that isn’t under the sheets of my bed is cold as hell,” you muttered, trailing your fingers delicately across your waist. 

“That’s a nice pose,” Vernon said to himself, “we’re almost done. Then you can go to bed for the rest of your day. Unless you’re down for breakfast?" 

You two still haven’t spoken about his little confession the other day, but in all honesty there was no reason to bring it up. Your lives were going in different directions, and you knew Vernon deserved more than a halfhearted summer fling. 

"I think I’m down for bed and breakfast,” you replied wryly. 

“Smart girl,” Vernon chuckled, “can you change your pose for me? Like, pretend that you’re stretching.” 

You didn’t understand what he meant by that, so you ended up flexing your arms in different directions. 

“No, we’re not doing yoga.” He let his camera swing around his neck as he rushed over to you. The sun was a soft white, the antithesis of golden hour as you two rushed to make the magic happen. He grabbed your arms from behind, twisting the left wris in an unusual angle. 

"Ah, Vernon!” You jerked around to face him, now fully awake. “I’m not a Barbie doll, you can’t just move me like that." 

Vernon doesn’t respond. He let go of you as soon as you screamed, eyes blown wide and pupils a thick black. His stare is frozen to yours, and his hand is in mid-air, a centimeter away from your bare breasts. 

"Oh,” you said, “did I whack you with my boob when I turned?" 

"Yeah, you boobed me.” Vernon looked afraid to stare anywhere but your face. “I’m so sorry." 

"It’s okay,” you bit the inside of your lip, “I don’t mind if you touch me there." 

Now, Vernon looked terrified. 

It’s been a long week. A long, surreal week. You wanted to tell Vernon about your conflicted feelings, you wanted to ask about his little crush, and what on earth did he find appealing about you. You wanted to tell him how much you trusted him with your body, and how you wanted him to do more to you than just ink. 

It’s then, the gaping boy shook himself together. His hands encircled your neck, haloing at the finishing piece of his work, an echelon moon. Vernon’s fingers trailed to cup your face, and you felt your whole body warm in anticipation. Patient, you waited for his carmine eyes to flutter shut, and you smiled, finally closing yours—

"The fuck is this?" 

In an instant, the air was sucked out of you like a blackhole, and Vernon immediately shielded you, throwing his jacket across you like a towel. 

"Mingyu,” you said shakily, clutching the cotton coat tighter around your form. 

It’s then that a no-longer bleary-eyed Joshua stumbled into the greenhouse, seconds too late. 

Mingyu threw down the sack of fertilizer he hauled on his back, black dirt smattering the floor.  “Its been barely a week and you’re fucking someone in the greenhouse, of all places?” Mingyu was angry, plain and simple. “I thought we agreed on a break." 

"You agreed on a break,” your thighs were numb from leaning on them, but Vernon’s hand on your back encouraged you to get on your feet. “I agreed that two years was too long to wait." 

"And who are you?” Mingyu squinted his eyes at Vernon.

“He’s none of your business,” you stepped in front of him, tugging his hoodie  closer around your frame. 

Mingyu’s face fell in realization, and he looked between you two with forlornness that made your stomach churn. “C’mon baby,” your nails embedded themselves in your palm at the jab, “can we go outside and talk about this?” 

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” your voice was paper thin, but loud enough for Mingyu to hear across the room, “I’d prefer you leave us alone, and do not talk to me ever again.” 

It took all your composure to turn around, and you glared a hole into Vernon’s chest. You felt your body bleed goosebumps around your arms and legs, not out of weather, but out of anxiety. You hugged yourself to shut the prickly feeling down. You heard Joshua do the only helpful thing this morning and it’s his soft utterances that finally pulled Mingyu out of the greenhouse. ,

What’s left is the drip of the hose, and the two of you, unmoved.

Thankful for the silence, you looked up at your companion, who was speechless. Vernon’s lower lip was puckered out slightly, face contorted as if to say I’m sorry, that kinda sucked. The tell-tale signs of emotional overload began to prick at your eyes. 

“I’m so sorry,” you wiped your face. Since when did you start crying? “I’m so sorry that I let all of this happen, and I let myself let this happen, and I’m such a mess and I’ve been trying to hide it all this time, but I’m selfish and I just wanted to see what would turn out of it.” 

“What are you apologizing for?” Vernon tried to lighten up the mood, and offered you an easy smile and reached for a hug.

“I’m sorry because I don’t know if I like you or not!” you outburst, and pushed him out of arm’s reach. “I feel so fucking guilty I just got out of a relationship and I can’t tell if I like you or I like your attention, honestly. And it isn’t fair because you’re just so sweet and kind and easy to love. Either way at the end of the summer I’m moving into the city for my full-time job. And I, I, I don’t know!” 

Vernon forced his way into your space, barely a foot apart. He didn’t touch you, but his warmth still emanated from the jacket you were wearing. He didn’t seem upset, then again you were probably upset enough for the both of you. 

“Hey, I offered to do your back because I knew you needed a distraction,” Vernon said softly, “no strings attached, ever. You do you, right? Focus on yourself.” 

You wished he was mean about this. It would’ve made it easier. “What if this is the last time we talk? What if I want to ignore you for the rest of the summer?” you murmured, already knowing you. should enjoy these final moments. 

“We’ll live,” he shrugged, and finally broke the space between you. His lips planted themselves between your forehead, melting away the lines that marred your brows apart, “and we’ll heal.”

The city was daring. The city was unforgiving. 

You tugged your scarf closer around your neck, which constricted your airflow but also prevented any possible windchill from slicing your neck. In your other hand you were hauling a week’s worth of work in a luggage that had once packed your things in August and sent you to this very career path. 

As much as you loved your new life, you wished things would be a little more boundless. The box of your workspace, the box of the elevator, and the box of your goshiwon apartment were starting to feel particularly stifling this weekend. 

It was Friday (or FriYay, as your co-workers dubbed) and that meant a weekend vegging out with a comfort meal and a new movie. There was a Burger King and a Gongcha under your apartment complex, both calling your name. 

Boba and burgers, the perfect way to end a week. 

You munched on your fries as you scanned the Gongcha menu, craving something sweet to contrast with your salty meal. 

It is then a low, sultry whisper sauntered in your direction (in a Gongcha, with children) and you almost choked on your fry. “I would know that back anywhere,” the offender drawled. 

What a strange pick-up line. The paper bag crinkled in your grip, and you turn around to see a familiar perky face in a scarlet Adidas tracksuit. Of all the places, he was here. 

“Hey, Flower Girl.” Minghao greeted, wiggling his fingers in a wave. He was on a tall stool, long legs splayed out and a cup of oolong milk tea hung lazily in his grip. His cup was at least 50% ice, and he was shaking the cup like a rattle every ten seconds.

“Normally, people would start with a simple hello,” you replied wryly, ushering him over to wait with you in line. 

“Normally,” Minghao shrugged, and slipped an arm around your shoulders as if you were long lost friends, “how have you been doing? Planting gardens for the spring?” 

“Please,” you scoffed. To Joshua and Wonwoo’s chagrin, you’ve forgotten a lot since the summer. “I can’t even make a corsage anymore, my brain’s on overload. What about you?” 

It looked like he was waiting for you to ask that. You barely got your order in before he started spitting out his story. “Didn’t you hear?” Obviously you didn’t, and he didn’t give you a chance to answer. “Two letters. RM.” Again, nothing. “The RM? The hottest rapper in Korea? Anyway, he was one of our clients in August—he got a sick design of a koala and an alpaca, cooler than you think—and gave us a massive tip on his Instagram story. We were famous overnight! We were getting crazy clients left and right—fuckin’ Sana wanted a little heart on her sternum, hottest thing.” 

“So you were able to relocate the parlor to the city?” 

“The big push was when Yoongi dropped RM his demo,” he shook his cup furiously, ice clanging, as if he never got tired of this story. “Like, I didn’t even know they were texting! I’ve been running the parlor mostly, I’ve always wanted to live in the city, but RM funded a lot of it and is helping Yoongi make his mix.”

In the back of your head, the question of an aspiring grad student was niggling in your brain, but you pushed it down. “So, if Yoongi’s working on his demo and you’re supposed to be running the parlor, why aren’t you there now?” you asked.

He stared at you as if it were the most obvious choice. “Because I’m here, drinking boba with you.” Minghao then grabbed your finished drink from the employee’s hand, ushering you out the door. “And now you’re going to follow me, because my break was over fifteen minutes ago.” 

“What?” 

“I have your boba,” he’s already out the door, waving your precious beverage like a fish to its line. “Hurry up, now I’m sixteen minutes late!” 

You groaned, lugging your suitcase full of work and now cold french fries back into the freezing weather. The wheels of your suitcase are cracking in exhaustion, mirroring yours. You just wanted your damn milk tea, hot fries, and a Netflix catch-up. What was the point of following Minghao to Nu ABO, when there was no reason to be there other than … 

“Oof!” your face slammed into Minghao’s back. The light was red. “Did Vernon move here too?” 

“Duh, who else would be covering for me?” 

“You’re trying to set me up!” You cried in betrayal, jabbing him in chest with your finger. “Y'know what, I’m just going to get another boba. You keep that.”

You two glared at each other. Minghao looked relentless, ignoring whoever was bumping into him on the streets. His eyes suddenly glinted to your rolling luggage, and he snatched it from your grip, running into the streets. 

“Can’t replace your work, right?” He laughed, forcing you to chase him down the block.

You felt sweat start to develop on your back, contrasting with the icy weather. Your work blazer and pinstripe loafers were not suited for vigorous activity. Minghao has an unfair advantage, being tall and athletic, and you had just finished half a bag of Burger King. Damn him. 

Minghao stopped in front of a sunken in building, with stairs leading downwards to a neon-lit parlor with the name glittering in electric periwinkle font. Flustered, you gasp at the cold air, finally able to stop. Despite having lost your breath ten meters ago, you managed to tell Minghao you’re proud that they have a real parlor. 

Your heart was beating in your ears, and you can’t tell whether it was because you haven’t worked out in months, or because Vernon was behind that door. 

Minghao dumped your luggage behind the reception area, and went straight into the artist room. This new parlor was much bigger, so when Minghao disappeared into a hallway he was out of your sight. You wait around, letting yourself sink into the familiar hip hop playlist. There are pictures littering the walls, all covered with a clean black frame. You see Yoongi and the supposed RM, sporting his koala and alpaca ink (which actually did look sick) and some photos of Minghao’s work, all of his designs being simultaneously colorful and graceful. 

It’s then in the epicenter of this wall is a long black frame that cut across the horizon, seven images of a woman with flowers and stars inking her back. 

Your back. 

“Beautiful, right? I’m sure it takes you back.” Minghao was over your shoulder, flicking his fingers between the photos. “Lots of customers have requested these designs. He never makes them the same way, though.”

Instead of answering, you followed Minghao down the hallway and into the artist room. Vernon had just finished with a client. Poking in head first, you saw him ticking off protocol off a printed list, speaking concisely. The client was listening intently, and you see he has an arm sleeve with peonies. It’s then he noticed Minghao intruding once more, and frowned. 

“Dude, you got milk tea without me?” Vernon said, affronted. 

“Ya didn’t ask.” Minghao vigorously shook the ice in your tea like a baby rattle. 

“You didn’t mention it, therefore I couldn’t have asked.” 

“You’re so smart, Hannie,” he beamed at him like a proud parent complimenting his son, “that’s why he’s going to grad school.” 

You let yourself in fully, and you felt shy as Vernon’s lips parted slightly upon realizing who his second guest was. 

“Hey,” Vernon exhaled, and gave you a small smile. He looked happy, content. As handsome as ever, he ran a gloved hand through his hair, soft curls bouncing as he shifted around the parting. “This is uh, a surprise.” his eyes flickered to Minghao, who held his arms out in a passive shrug. “A good one to end the week.” 

“Hi,” you bit your lip, feeling shy, “so, you decided to get certified and you’re going to grad school? I missed out on a lot.”

“That’s okay, we got time.” Vernon assured, “besides the fact that I got a project due tomorrow morning that I’ve barely started, and then I have a field trip I gotta go to on Sunday—”

Before it could drag on any longer, Minghao hacked out a very loud, and very fake cough. You broke out of the rêve, and muttered a “gimmie that” before snatching your precious bubble tea out of Minghao’s hand. 

Vernon mirrored the cough, more out of embarrassment than annoyance. “Lemme finish up with this client, yeah?” And he jerked his head back to the patient, going on about safety. 

Minghao led you out of the room, whispering a “you’re welcome” in your ear that taunted you for the rest of the night. 

Vernon finished at 5, just like he did back in the little shack at university square. He came out in a 2XL neon green hoodie, leading the client out the door and telling him to “take it easy”. As soon as the client’s gone, he comes over to you. You’re still staring at your pictures, as if you couldn’t believe that you were on display, looking like a tasteful nude model. 

“Hi again,” he said, dusting the imaginary dirt off his pants. 

“Hi,” you replied, feeling tingly at the sound of his voice. Did you really miss him that much? 

"Um, is it cool if I hug you?" 

It certainly has been awhile. You nodded, unsure if you could form a coherent response because you could tell Vernon was blushing and he was being too damn adorable for you to handle. 

Upon permission, he brightened. The warmth of his cotton hoodie enveloped you like the way hot chocolate feels after a cold day. You breathed in his scent, realizing how much you missed the scent of fresh laundry, especially on him. 

"How are you?” He asked casually.

“Uh, m'okay.” You answered softly, “a little cold nowadays." 

He hugged you tighter in response. With one more squeeze he let himself go, but kept you at an arm’s length. "Wanna get dinner?" 

You looked at him funny, "didn’t you say you had a project due tomorrow morning that you haven’t started?" 

Without missing a beat he altered, "Wanna get takeout? I’ll do work and eat while,” his eyes darted to your luggage, “you do work?" 

While you wanted to say that it was Friday (FriYay!) and you weren’t planning to open Pandora’s Box until Sunday night, you obliged and followed him to his place. 

On the way over, Vernon got his well-needed milk tea (and your second round) with two matching cartons of jajangmyeon. You trailed behind him rather than next to him, due to the fact that he was also lugging a Joshua-sized canvas on his back. In fear of being knocked out or ruining his work, you settled for walking a meter apart. 

Vernon lived on the second floor of his complex. You imagined a sizable one-room similar to your goshiwon, but you’re in awe when you see a fully furnished living room and kitchen. You smiled at the singular jade plant decorating the windowsill, one you remembered as Patricia Planty one session months ago. The hardwood was so shiny you could see your reflection in them. Kicking off your shoes, you stumbled over the kitchen countertop, reveling at the onyx granite. 

"I’ve never seen this much granite in my entire life!” You cried, spreading your hands over the cool rock. It was so well polished, you could see your reflection.  He was certainly living the high life this year. 

Vernon shook his head, setting the take out down and pulling out the containers. “It’s RM’s old place. I rent it out with the guys." 

"God, this is ten times better than my place! Your kitchen is bigger than my apartment!" 

He flicked your bowl of jajangmyeon over to your side of the countertop, the sauce and noodles premixed for you. "Eat up, babe.” He stuffed a radish in his mouth, now working to mix his own noodles, “we got a lotta catchin’ up to do." 

Whether it was your hunger or the casual use of the word "babe”, you abandoned the granite for now and did as told. 

An hour later, you’re flipping through their mounted TV, taking full advantage of their Disney+ subscription as Vernon is laying on the floor.  

“I thought you were working,” you chastised, letting yourself sink further into their couch. It was like resting on a big, fluffy marshmallow. You never wanted to leave. 

Vernon is splayed out like a starfish, papers and watercolors spread around him. His large body stood out against the white linoleum floor, his neon green hoodie reflecting on the shiny surface. “I am.” he replied blandly, “I’m waiting for lightning to hit me with a burst of inspiration." 

"Grad school’s biting you in the butt?" 

"Big time." 

Another bout of silence hit the two of you, and it was surprisingly nice. You finally started to notice that Vernon is picking up some art utensils and is doodling something. (He still is on the floor and hasn’t sat up properly, but progress is progress.) 

It felt oddly domestic, but you didn’t mind. There was no need to ask about the past, Kim Mingyu, or any other silly drama you two entrapped yourselves into last summer. What mattered now was the warmth of each other’s presence on this chilly night.

Your eyes are heavy and fighting against the long day, and before you know it, you’re asleep just as Rapunzel escapes Gothel’s tower. 

You haven’t awoken to the morning sun in a long, long time. While the notion sounded awfully depressing (because it was), you really didn’t have much of a choice because the goshiwon was closet sized, and closets had no windows. But today, the sun blasted you, forcing you up. This was accompanied by the the tell-tale sounds of breakfast, which was weird because you only ever ate cold food in your room, because there was zero ventilation. The scent of dark roast muddled your senses, forcing you awake. You twitched at the sudden stench, and snapped your back straight. Were your walls always this pristine white? 

"Didn’t know you were this early in the game, Flower Girl." 

You never went home. While Vernon was long gone and probably off presenting some haphazard art, Minghao and Yoongi (for the first time, in the flesh!) were watching you from their marbled island, while you rubbed the crusties out of your eyes. "Usually, encroaching on a significant other’s apartment is reserved for the 5th or 6th date.” Minghao teased, waving his Nutella toast in your face. 

“Oh, shut up,” you glared at Yoongi, who was slowly chewing on his own toast. There’s was black spark in his eyes, like he’s relishing on whatever has unfolded. “And you, you. I know this is the first time we’ve met and you haven’t said a word. But shut up too. Your thoughts are awfully loud.” 

You’re embarrassed, and you pull up your hands to mediate your fired cheeks. Instead of your palms, you feel worn cotton dabbing at your face. You wiggled your fingers under the neon green hoodie. Vernon put on his clothes for you to wear. You were in a very uncompromising position, and his roommates were reveling every second of it. 

Yoongi shrugged, throwing you a flippant grin. “Whatever you say, Flower Girl.” 

Contact emerged in the form of texts and images. You wondered how Vernon managed to keep things casual in light of how sudden your meeting was, but you relished in the way things fell naturally. 

[February 19, 2:10PM]

Vern: Is this still your number 

Vern: If so, here’s what i submitted for my project

Vern: IMG.934

Vern: if not, pls enjoy this picture of a pink platypus. the medium was watercolor nd if you’re curious, i got the idea from sunsets and phineas and ferb. Enjoy your day

You: hey look, there’s perry

Vern: nice

Vern: wait, this doesn’t confirm if ur u or a stranger

Vern: are u just a perry enthusiast 

Vern: evidence pls

[February 19th, 6:08PM]

You: IMG.48

[February 20th, 12:22AM]

Vern: ooh

Vern: look cute in my hoodie 

You’ve toggled with the idea of just cutting straight through the bush and asking him out the next time you see him in person. A little part of you liked the chase, however. That feeling where you’re tugging between friendship and something more, and you can’t help but feel like you’re fifteen everytime his name popped up in your messages. You self-dubbed it the-honeymoon-to-the-honeymoon phase. 

[February 27, 5:34PM]

Vern: what are you up to 

You: it’s hour 32. I’ve been under the covers and have survived solely on celery and honey-butter chips. currently binging all netflix comedies. debating on whether to send for help otherwise i may never get up

Vern: that’s the spirit 

By the time two weeks passed, you felt confident enough to ride off the mutually weird text messages and constant contact to meet with him. By then, you’re knees deep in the honeymoon-to-the-honeymoon phase. You’re languidly floating in that river, hoping you’re not rushing it by agitating the waters. 

[March 8th, 10:10PM]

You: hey

You: you up? 

Vern: nah. mastered the art of sleep textin

You: just wanted to ask if you could help me pick out a tatt that would fit me

You: if you were available. I’ve heard from the mullet-monster that you’re a hot commodity drowning in appts and deadlines

Vern: wait forreal? 

Vern: i can pencil u in. tomorrow night @11? 

You: so soon? What happened to being busy

Vern: not for u. Already have an idea in mind

By the time you arrived Saturday night, Minghao was slapping your back across the door, gabbing on about a “major banger” they were missing uptown. He looked the part, the only person you knew that could fill out an all-studded denim fit. Like a disco ball at a rodeo. He barely said good-bye before he hopped in a Lyft, cheering for freedom. 

You poked your head into the artist room, and saw Vernon playing on his phone. His fist dug into his cheek, carob pupils glazed over. You almost felt bad for wanting his attention this late.

“You usually do the day shift,” you commented quietly, holding up a bag with two milk teas in hand. 

Vernon looked up, illuminating in a half-smile. “Y’know me, always covering. Just for the hour though, this shouldn’t take long since we’re just looking at ideas.” 

He slapped a hand on the client chair. This one was much better than the cot they had in their shack. This one was pure leather and gleamed high quality. You placed your drinks on the countertop and eagerly bounced onto the seat. “Comfy,” you murmured, and wriggled your sneaker-clad feet.

“Good,” there’s a sharp snap from the plastic seal and Vernon is sipping into his milk tea seconds after you put it down. He’s chewing on a particularly large gulp, gnawing on pearls like no one’s business. With his rolling chair, he slid over to you, seamlessly reaching for your wrist. 

If he noticed that you’re wearing a particular neon item, he doesn’t comment. He turned on the overhead lamp, letting a soft white light bathe your form. When he finally spoke, he chanted your name in a sing-song, tapping your wrist in beat. It’s as if he  were envisioning the color blooming on your skin. 

You let him do his thing, and he pulled out his phone, scrolling through his gallery. You see pictures of his friends, some of his family, and digital art. He scrolled slower at the myriad of images: a colorful orca, lavender constellations, and budding roses. 

You were seeing a lot of flowers nowadays, with the burgeoning of spring and the recent ending of Valentine’s. It’s only now that you notice how apparent the theme is throughout the parlor, particularly in Vernon’s affinity. 

“Why don’t you call me it?” you asked softly, peering over his form to see him mulled over a picture of periwinkle lupines. 

“Huh,” he’s distracted, and has now swiped back to the colorful orca image. 

“Flower Girl,” you uttered, “they call me that, but you don’t.” 

Vernon clicked his phone down, the lupines flicked away. He peered at you through his lashes, the white overhead making his eyes appreciably bright. “Before I knew your name,” he started slow, making faces to himself as if he were debating on whether to tell you, “I’d call you Rose. You were always by the rose bush planted outside the shop.” 

“Avoiding work,” you crinkled your nose, however relished in the endearment, “being named after a rose is too big a compliment.” 

He snorted, “That’s what they said. Hence, Flower Girl was born,” he’s easy about it, but now he’s put his phone down and is rubbing circles in your wrist. You wonder if he felt how clammy your palms were getting from the minute intimacy. 

“You know what flower I’d compare to you?” you asked, “freesias.” 

“And what do those mean?” 

“Thoughtfulness,” the pad of his thumb still lingered on your skin, his grip painfully apparent. “And renewal.” 

“Why renewal?” 

“Because,” you swallowed, “you make me feel renewed. And this time I’m sure it’s because it’s you.” 

Vernon looked like he wanted to smile, trying so very hard not to embarass you whilst you poured your heart out with delicacy. His coral lips were tucked in a thin line, teeth biting at his lower lip. Drop by drop, he was going to accept that dew with as much care as possible. “Only me,” he inquired, pressing into your pulse. 

Your mouth was sand dry.  “Uh-huh.” You exhaled a breath long clutched in your throat, hot air fanning into Vernon’s face. He paid no mind, and (to no avail) was still trying to hold in his smile. “You’re dimples are showing,” you whined, poking the little dip in his cheeks with your free hand. “Use your words.” 

“Like?” he elongated, playing dumb. You supposed you earned his brand of torture, after all, seven months is a long time to make up for. 

“Like how we want the same thing?” you tried. 

“How do you know I want what you want?” he feigned, furrowing his thick brows. Acting could’ve been another career possibility for him, portrayed by the way his eyes were blown with confusion, his mouth parted like a kitten.  

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! Forget words!” you broke, nearly shaking from the nerves. 

It’s then that Vernon finally gave you a concrete response. His grip on your wrist was near painful as he eagerly tugged you closer, kissing you. There’s enthusiasm in every action from the way he pulled you closer, large hands melding to cup your cheeks. A little part of you is both breathless and invigorated at the energy stinging the room, and you can barely keep up until Vernon spilled kisses down your neck. 

He threw up the armrest holding him back, tucking his knee between your legs as he lapped you up, kissing you fully. The chair was much too small for the both of you, his large body pressing you further into the cushions. 

He sat up a bit, bumping his head on the lamp. He paid no mind. “By the way, I like you, too.” Vernon puttered cheekily, rubbing his scalp. Just as swiftly, he latches onto your neck and sucks at a sensitive spot. You can feel his teeth showing from the smile in his kisses. His thumbs rubbed lazily over your jaw, enjoying the feel of your soft skin under his rough palms. 

“Really,” you exhaled, relaxing against the headrest as Vernon’s wandering hands traveled lower. “Had no idea.” 

“But I’m happy,” Vernon is fumbly and sweet, mumbling in the crook of your neck while his fingers toyed with the waistband of your sweatpants, “happy you’ve healed, and happy for us.” 

He’s excited, almost too excited. The space between you two was warm, the lamp beating under your skin, awakening something between you two that was left behind that summer. It’s as if winter left him dormant, and you were the fresh flower waiting to be bloomed under his touch.

“Are you always,” you gasped, two fingers already worming their way inside your panties, “talkative at this part?” 

“Not if you wanna talk,” and the ever-zealous Vernon Chwe gets to work, sticking out his tongue in surprise when he finds that you’re already drenched. “Shit, you’re so beautiful,” he holds onto that word dearly, and pressed his forehead against yours, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to hold you like this,” he reached for your delicious bud, and you felt your senses flower into pleasure. 

He makes a noise, low in his throat as he watched you melt against the seat. “I like you like this,” he said thickly, his voice matching the slick sounds emitting from yourself. “Comfy, relaxed. You always looked so stuffy in those work suits,” you feel wholly undeserving of this worship, as he licked a long strip from your collarbone to your neck, “would love to help you chill out a lil’ more.” 

A whine bubbled from the back of your throat, your eyes rolling shamelessly as you feel the pads of his fingers working circles between your folds. “Ah, I’ve—I’ve fantasized about this,” you confessed, “every time you’d ink my back. At one point we just stopped covering myself with those stupidly thin gowns. All you had to do was turn around.” Vernon blinked rapidly, mental pictures ticked like film in his pupils. His hands stuttered across your slick, inserting two fingers between your folds as you continued. His pace was slow, yet purposeful as he made sure you felt him with every thrust. Rings adorned his fingers, and the cool sensation surprised you. You shivered in pleasure. “Mm, I’ve imagined us kinda like this in that little shack, hard against the cot overlooking the shop,” 

“Dirty,” he said, as if recalling the weather. 

“And ah—wondering what kind of tattoos you have,” and in your haze you reached for him, your hand gripping firm at his gunmetal belt buckle. You tucked your fingers between the button of his light wash jeans, palming the telltale signs of something hard, “please? You’ve done too much for me, lemme return the favor.” 

“Not now,” he pressed his forehead to yours, “you can guess my ink on our way home.”

“Wha?“ You’re dazed, feeling warm with affection and drowned in the moment. You feel his fingers, slowly pumping out of its rhythm and resting on your thigh. You groaned at the premature end, his shiny digits resting on your fleece sweats. 

“They’ll kill me, this is new leather,” Vernon said, “and now we can afford security cameras, which are so small even I can’t find them.” 

“Unbelievable,” you laughed. You’re not frustrated, only endeared. 

“Besides, I’d rather have our first time somewhere private. Undisturbed,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, "somewhere where there’s lots of granite." 

You melted, pulling at his collar to pepper kisses on his nose. The mention of coming home to his pretty kitchen was icing on the cake. "You know how much I love your granite." 

(After your granite fantasy was fulfilled, you spent the rest of the weekend huddled in Vernon’s room. You’re living off take out and mutually satisfied with the unhealthy means. When you’re not eating or watching movies, the two of you are drafting your first piece. 

Freesias and pink roses.)

(His tattoo was also very cute.) 

[blainesebastian]

if you haven’t already written a fic about Sebastian picking up blaine while he’s curled up in a ball to the bedroom and peppering his face with kisses please please do with cherry on top! (Also i dont know if I explained myself well but I hope you got the point lol )

yessss, i hope you don’t mind but it’s not as ANGSTY as i’m usually capable of lol *u* enjoy xoxo love you! 

--

Sebastian hates having a busy work schedule but it pays the bills. It’s not that Blaine doesn’t understand, they both have high demanding jobs—time, effort, responsibilities, all keeping their New York life patched firmly together. They make it work, communication is key, something Blaine severely lacked in his last relationship (and well, effort, in Sebastian’s honest opinion). Talking through a lot of things helps, especially when hours run late and emotions run high.

Blaine’s theater schedule can sometimes be unpredictable and Sebastian’s law firm pulls him in when he least expects it (and usually at ridiculous hours) but the money and experiences have been good, so neither of them really complain. Blaine does admit one morning in a rush to eat breakfast and leave before eight that he misses him and Sebastian leans up from the counter and makes sure to kiss him. Because he misses him too and he hates that their erratic calendars cause early mornings and late nights.

Blaine presses him against the kitchen table to kiss him back, arms wound around his neck, mouths moving greedily like this might be the last intimate embrace that they share. They accidently knock piles of mail and fruit to the floor and end up leaving the apartment at 9:30—but it’s completely worth it.

No one ever told them that this was going to be easy, that balancing life, work, and a relationship wouldn’t have its challenges. But that’s okay, because they’re going at it together and Sebastian thinks that’s what really makes the difference.

Regardless, Sebastian feels bad when he can’t promise his presence at things Blaine puts together—like he’s throwing this small, congratulatory mixer at their apartment for the part he’s recently gotten on Broadway. Him and Blaine already celebrated privately but this is more so Blaine can invite his friends and theater people. Not an incredibly big deal but of course, Blaine wants him to be there.

And he would be—if it weren’t for this one case burying him alive with paperwork. He’d actually rather be anywhere else than stuck in his office in lower Manhattan, especially when there’s a party going on at his place. He can picture Blaine dancing in the living room, drinking a little too much so that his cheeks have that soft shade rose color Sebastian likes so much, eyes a liquid honey because he’s happy. Sebastian’s been getting a few pictures and texts over the development of the night but he also knows Blaine isn’t sending too many because he doesn’t want to be a distraction.

Sebastian calls him anyways when he has a small break, just to hear his boyfriend’s voice which has a slightly high-pitched excitement when he picks up. “Sebastian!”

The taller chuckles lightly, running a hand through the front part of his hair. He can hear gentle noises filtering in from behind Blaine—the soft cluster of beats in music and general chatter. “Hi, B. Are you having a good time?”

Blaine grins into the phone, Sebastian can picture it when he talks, “I’m having the best time.”

“I can tell.” He smirks a little; he’s not drunk yet but certainly on his way.

“Are you coming home soon?”

Sebastian lets out a soft sigh before shaking his head, “No, I’m sorry. I won’t be home until late. Trust me, I’d much rather be with you.”

Blaine hums a little and there’s some shifting on his end—if Sebastian had to guess, he probably slipped into the bedroom to continue their conversation and is sprawled out on their bed. “I’d much rather you be with me too,” He drawls out, “I’m very cuddly right now.”

Sebastian laughs a little, leaning back against his chair and drums his pen on his desk. “Oh, are you?”

Blaine hums in confirmation, “So sorry you’ll be missing it.”

Sebastian leans up to rest his elbows on the edge of his desk, glancing down at the paperwork he still has yet to complete. “You won’t be just as snuggly when I get home?”

There’s a long series of gentle noises from Blaine, like he started to agree with a sound but then ended up humming along to the song currently on in the living room. “Mayyyyyyybe, guess we’ll have to see, huh.”

Sebastian smiles, “I love you, go drink some water okay?”

Ironically, Blaine’s a pretty high-functioning drunk. He knows when he needs to drink water in-between alcohol. Sebastian’s seen him come home, practically tripping over his own feet and still able to floss and brush his teeth before tumbling into bed.

It’s rather impressive.

“I love you more.” And Blaine hangs up without another word—most likely because he didn’t want Sebastian to try and convince him that he was wrong about who loved the other more. Spinning his boyfriend into a tizzy while he’s tipsy and on the phone probably won’t be as entertaining anyways.

So Sebastian concentrates on getting his work done so he can go home to him.

--

By the time Sebastian makes his way into the apartment complex and unlocks their front door, it’s going on two AM. Definitely not the time he wanted to be home but there’s not much he could do about it—he did manage to put in a personal day for tomorrow (technically today) so at least he can settle in.

He turns the light on in the living room and glances around to survey the damage—it’s actually not as bad as he thought. Some wine glasses and dishes left about in the dining room and kitchen but nothing seems destroyed.

Blaine, as drunk as he can get, is still a neat freak. He was probably stumbling around in an attempt to clean despite the fact that he should have been concentrating on having a good time and worrying about all that tomorrow.

He sighs and takes off his coat and shoes, setting them near the couch before making his way into the bedroom—to find Blaine curled up on the floor near the closet. A soft, sudden chuckle leaves his lips because he’s half undressed and their dalmatian, Fitzgerald, is lying against Blaine’s back. His ears perk when he ears Sebastian, sitting up and beginning to wag his tail as his other owner steps closer.

He smirks a little and crouches down, petting the dog between his ears. “C’mon.” He motions for him to scoot and the dog gets up only to jump onto the bed but at least he’s out of the way.

Sebastian smiles, shaking his head as he reaches for the shirt Blaine seems stuck in, one arm in and the other out, and tugs it over his head. His boyfriend makes a soft moaning noise, turning into the touch. The taller’s pretty sure he’s not going to be able to get him out of his jeans, not down here anyways, so he maneuvers Blaine’s body until he can pick him up bridal style.

Blaine’s head falls to his shoulder, a soft pinch between his eyebrows at being moved and Sebastian instantly smooths that away by planting a bunch of soft kisses on his face. Blaine relaxes, especially when Sebastian lays him down in bed. It’s much easier to undo his jeans and tug them off, deciding his boyfriend can sleep in just his briefs for the night.

Sebastian runs his fingers through his messy curls, a small smile tugging the corners of his mouth when Blaine just barely blinks awake. “You’re home.” He croaks out.

The taller hums, “Yeah, I’m getting into bed soon. You gonna be sick?”

Blaine shakes his head and presses his face into his pillow, a gentle whining noise following. Sebastian, at this point, knows that means turn off the light and come here. He rolls his eyes but follows the request, moving around in the dark to get ready for bed. He strips down to his boxers and white t-shirt, brushing his teeth and shifting the dog down to a spot by Blaine’s feet so he can crawl into bed.

Blaine moves rather instantly, sensing the shift of weight on the mattress and Sebastian wraps his arms around him, keeping him close. He buries his nose and lips into his curls, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and a twinge of sweat on his skin. The taller runs an open palm up and down Blaine’s spine, over and over again until he feels him drift off into sleep.

Sebastian knows that this relationship thrives on communication, on being able to be honest with one another—but he also knows that it’s built on this too—on how easy it is to come home.

[reeesea]

Something Sweet: Part Seven

~sweet home~

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

pairing: minsung, han jisung/lee minho

warning: mild language

words: 4.7k

summary:  Home is where your bros at right? right.

a/n: I actually like this chapter, shocker. i hope you enjoy 

ao3

----------------

Minho stared at the video file sitting on his computer, on the familiar application site that had been haunting his mind for the past couple years. The debate he found himself in with himself on whether or not to submit another application, had become his default subject of thought for much of the past few weeks. All building up to right now. Something had tipped the scale though. Something that reminded him if he didn't submit an entry this year, that he might as well have given up on his one dream. His one goal. The only thing that had been keeping him motivated through university. So once again he found himself rationalizing, and knew that if anything he had to try, at least just one last time. 

Upload complete, Thank you for your entry!

Minho sighed loudly. He had sent it in. The first part of the application. It was just a basic dance routine supplied by the academy. He had practice and recorded it all within one sitting. Having been a part of a dance crew for much of the past year had allowed him to quickly pick up choreography and perfect it. The other reason being that he wanted more than anything to get the overbearing presence of the audition tape out of his head space as soon as possible. A heavy sigh left his lips as he laid back down on the studio floor, not too long after a ping of his phone revived just enough for him to check his messages.

[Rich Boy Han Jisung]

2:50 pm

Minho-hyung!

I hope your day has been going well~

Sadly, no updates on when ill be free :/ 

They’re working us hard for the debut

It’s alright Ji, work hard!

You better be taking care of yourself tho...

4:03 pm (new)

Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)

{link attached}

I hope you like it!!!!

Oh, no i havent

I’ll give it a listen ^-^

As of late it wasn’t uncommon for Jisung to send the older songs he thought he would like. Always saying some cheesy line that was so blatantly sweet it made Minho flustered everytime. This time of course was no exception. 

Ping.

HYUNG THAT EMOJI

Asjdnjsfma

I knew I was rubbin goffon you 

Kkkkk

Dont get too ahead of yourself 

atleast I can still type coherent sentences

~goffon~ 

Boo :p

Why Jisung was so persistent about sending him songs was lost on the older, but it was a sweet reminder that someone was thinking about him. It had been a while since Minho had even imagined that someone took a few minutes of their day to actually consider how he was doing. It didn't quite make sense to him that suddenly out of nowhere, there was his boy, man, person, who purposefully took the time to dedicate brain cells to his existence. Wild. 

Minho hurriedly clicked the link to the song that Jisung had sent. It was an upbeat song, with a strong but subtle strumming of a guitar to keep the song’s pace just quick enough to be comfortable. “There's no one else that could ever hold me like you do.” The lyrics were in the realm of positive longing and companionship, but the dips into minor chords and tone of the singer created a mood of desperation. More than anything, the song brought forth a story to Minho. One that he could see with his eyes close and feel his body wanting to move to. 

A smile stretched across his face, as he rose from his spot on the floor, dusting off the dull ache and pressure in his shoulders from having just finished a routine not even 10 minutes ago. 

“But I know that I'd be crazy, Not to wanna be the one to keep you up all night”

Woah there Jisung, at least take me out to dinner first. He made a mental note to tease the younger later about his “Made me think of you :)” line later. Already stretching and drawing a plan in his head, Minho took his phone and saved the song, pressing the repeat button twice, to allow the guitar chords and chorus harmonies to carry on endlessly. A smirk stretched into an excited smile. Not wanting to jinx himself, a shy “finally” was whispered in the back of Minho’s mind at the surge of inspiration, but not spoken aloud just yet.

---

Flashing lights, heavy makeup, hot clothing, and too much fog from the smoke machine is all Jisung had thought about for the last couple hours. 3RAHCHA was in their last photo shoot for their debut. The concept photos would be released later through the week, slowly revealing the three members and their group as officially signed with JJP ent. 

The multicolor lights had been running through his vision for so long that as soon as he walked into their Green Room, he had almost forgotten what color everything actually was. Looking in the mirror he saw the blonde highlighted streaks in his hair had settled nicely, slightly slicked back. The stylist had surely done their jobs well. Painting the three rappers up to look less like the nightcrawlers they were, and into something that leather and fishnet clad superstars might look like was definitely a challenge. Jisung had his makeup done just enough to give his eyes a smoky look to them, and grey contacts to emphasize his gaze. The ensemble he had on looked like something that had come straight from a catwalk. Fishnets crawling up his arms from his gloved hands and an asymmetrical shit he for sure would not have been able to put on without the help of his stylist-noona. All that plus some leather pants and combat boots, he definitely looked more like his persona J.One than the notorious hoodie clad couch potato named Jisung he usually found himself as. 

Having just finished his own solo shoot, he signaled Changbin to head on to the set as he returned. The older nodded from his chair in front of the makeup station, as the artist finished the final touches to his eyeliner. Jisung watched as the shorter rapper walked out to the set in a white puffer jacket that he somehow pulled off, even with the bright red pants he wore. A part of Jisung was thankful his stylist hadn’t taken that many liberties with his outfit, but the makeup and outfit Changbin wore really only emphasized his intimidating stare and the wideness of his shoulders. It was undeniable that their concept photos would come out well. 

Chan, who was seated on a couch, eating some of the provided sandwiches, was already hunched over his computer and mixing equipment again, airpods in. Probably working on tracks for their third comeback knowing him. Not wanting to jump right back into work Jisung snagged a few snacks from the buffet and found a chair he could lay on. Listening to music that wasn't work had become a rarity for Jisung in the years he had been with 3RACHA. Of course he always tried to stay on top of the recent pop and hip hop trends, but straying any farther than his trusty morning and workout playlists was more than unlikely. 

Lately though, Jisung found himself looking through a lot of random indie, alternative, “western” pop, and especially dance music. The versatility of the genres was comforting to Jisung in the rather turbulent state his emotions and mental state have been in, as the debut approached. Also Minho. Meeting Minho definitely had introduced a whole new set of feelings Jisung was still working on navigating. As he listened to the different songs that populated this radio, he told himself he was just looking for some inspiration for his lyrics and 3RACHA’s new music, but even he knew that was mostly a lie. 

Ever since that night at the bar with Minho he found himself always considering the older and what he would think of a song or how he would dance to it, or if he would even like it. After pointing out that he liked a particularly upbeat pop song with melancholic lyrics, during their impromptu karaoke session, Jisung had been delvinging into all related categories to find songs he thought the older might enjoy. He wanted more than anything to inspire his older companion? Partner? (that was a later Jisung question.) but he wanted to repay the man who had allowed him to get out of his creative slump. That night, as soon as the youngest rapper had returned to the 3RACHA “house” he felt the start of at least 5 separate tracks and choruses appear in his brain. His two hyungs jumped into action along with him as Jisung desperately tried to write and record everything that was jumping out of his brain at once. 

Jisung remembered Chan’s smile and encouraging words as he fitted a few of his new verses to songs they had previously put on the shelf. After finding a particularly emotional but upbeat song he immediately wanted to send it to Minho. He always got hung up on what to say with the link. Other than the thought vomit that occurred every time he chooses to send him a potentially good song: “Found this song? U Like???” No Jisung, what are you five?? “I think you will enjoy this song. Please give it a listen? :0” No that just sounds desperate. 

“You doing alright there Ji, I can hear you sighing through my earbuds?” Chan peeked out from under his styled bangs with a raised eyebrow, sending Jisung into a red embarrassed mess that he had been caught. He hoped his layers of foundation would cover it up. 

“Yeah fine fine, don't worry. I’m FINE.” Attempting to hide Jisung curled up tighter into his arm chair. Just be casual Jisung it's a song not a marriage proposal dear god. “Have you heard this song? Made me think of you :)” Good, yes fine. Send.

Minho responded immediately and cutely with an emoji that made his heart jump a little. Minho would respond always with a variation of a “Thanks! I’ll go listen”, but Jisung had yet to receive any confirmation that the older actually enjoyed the links he sent, much less had found some inspiration in them. At this point the only thing he could do was hope. He wanted nothing more than Minho to be smiling because of him.

--

Officially exhausted, it wasn’t until late when the 3RACHA boys had finally made it back to their apartment. The day Jisung had, had been anything but short. Almost collapsing immediately on the couch. Sana notified them that she had already ordered food to be delivered for dinner and that they should go to bed as soon as they had finished eating. Chan looked like he was about to pass out on the couch before the food even arrived, which was more than likely at this point. After their shoot they were immediately sent to a few other meetings laying out their marketing and schedule plans for the upcoming weeks. Although glad they were able to part with their artistic and career decisions with their company, it did add a lot of work and responsibilities to the trio. 

Jisung’s phone had died somewhere after meeting 3 of 5 and he had submitted to having to carry the lifeless brick with him anyway. Not ideal for his wandering mind and anxiety that comes with a few too many stressful meetings. Once finally arriving home he went and plugged his phone in at the charger on the kitchen counter. Lighting up with notification buzzes as it rebooted back to life. 

[ 5 new messages from Lee Minho hyungie]

Immediately cursing himself internally for not bringing his charger with him, he opened his messages from Minho ignoring all others. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

5:45 pm

Hey Jisungie, just finished up practice!

Actually may or may not have danced to the song u sent…

Maybe I’ll show you some day hehehehehehehehe ;)

7:21 pm

Han Jisung, did you forget your charger again >:/ 

Well I’m off to my late shift, I hope you have a good night~

Jisung always found himself smiling at Minho’s before work texts. They were always so cute. Either some sort of sweet well wishing or some other Minho-esque goodbye, along the lines of “don’t die mysteriously while i'm gone ;p” or “Have a good night, try not to miss my WONDERFUL company too much <3”. (The hearts always made Jisung grin hard, even if they were sarcastic)

This night though, Jisung found him almost jumping in victory at Minho’s text. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

12:35 am

YOU DANCED TO THE SONG

Really?!?!?!

What did you like about it? 

When can I see????

You better not leave me on read after work!

Jisung tried to imagine what kind of dance Minho would do to the track he sent,and suddenly found himself flush at the thought of watching the other dance. Somehow, watching Minho dance, felt more intimate than any other situation that they’ve shared. Thankfully Minho seemed to want to hold off, so at least of the time being Jisung’s heart was safe. The exhaustion and stress from the day faded ever so slightly as soon as he thought of Minho with coordinating blush to match. 

Jisung you lovestruck fool.

“Jisung! Food’s here!!! If you don't hurry Chan’ll eat your portion again.”

“HEY! It was one time.” Laughter filled the apartment gently as they all respectively fought gravity to get up and make their way to collect the food from the delivery man.  

---

Minho tore up the stairs and through their apartment door as quickly as he could without spilling the carry out food he had in his arms. The clock was ticking a little past midnight and fear set in that the older would miss their planned celebrations. 

Bursting through the door, “Did I beat him?!” The oldest was frazzled from rushing in order to beat their third roommate home from work.

“Barely! I was afraid you wouldn’t make it, with having to bring the carry out.” Hyunjin’s sigh of relief was visible throughout the boy's now relaxed body. He had spent the last ten minutes hoping that they would still be able to pull off their surprise party for the youngest. Pacing around and failing to come up with any backup plans if Minho had been later than Felix. Thankfully for them both, Minho had a way of always being on time. 

“Hey all that matters is I made it. Is everything else ready?” Looking around Minho could see that Hyunjin’s bed was transitioned back into the couch setting and that the floors had been tidied up. A couple stray balloons littered the floor as well as a home made “happy birthday felix” sign hung from their living room screen divider. 

“Yep, I've just been waiting anxiously for you to get home for the past half hour.”

The door handle of their apartment began to jiggle, signaling the two boys to spring into action. Minho setting down the carry out, and Hyunjin frantically lights candles on the small cake on the coffee table. The door swung open, revealing a disheveled after-work Felix wandering through the door. As soon as the boy turned toward their living room, he was accosted with shouts and the flailing limbs of his hyungs. 

“Surprise!!!” “Happy Birthday!!!” 

Felix’s smile erased any of the signs of exhaustion off his face immediately as soon as he spotted his hyungs excited expressions. The cake, the streamers, the balloons, and sign all sparked some joyful tearing of his eyes as he set down his things and made his way to the small cake with a few random lit candles on top. The clock had crossed over into the next day as Felix had made his way home, that he had almost forgotten that it was now technically the early morning hours of his birthday. Coming home to joyful cheers instead of their usual exhausted silence had given him a certain happiness that he hadn’t realized he was missing. 

For all of three of the roommates this was their first time having a celebration in their small home together. By now the sense of home was undeniable and without realizing it all of them had begun to consider each other and their shared 3 room apartment, home. 

The disjointed singing of happy birthday followed by the laughter and conversation surrounded their coffee table as the three enjoyed their small carryout feast and cake. The warmth that their company gave each other lasted well into the night.

“Hyung! It's my birthday, stop eating all the cake!!!” 

“I have no idea what youre talking about Lixie.” Minho says while actively taking another bite of their 2 person sized cake. 

“Hyung!” The laughter of the oldest filled the room followed by the other two’s not too long after.

“Happy Birthday Lixie~” The smile hadn’t left the freckled boys faces since he had sat down, and remained as he pulled his two roommates into a forceful hug. It was his birthday so the boys both submitted to the clingy nature of their third roommate, as always.

---

It was late into the early morning by the time Minho had checked his phone. 

[ 5 new messages from Rich Boy Han Jisung]

A soft pang of guilt hits his chest after reading the younger’s texts and realizing that he did in fact leave the other on read for the better part of the last two hours.  

2:43 am 

I’m so sorry Sungie!

We were celebrating Felix’s birthday, and I didnt check my phone…. 

Look at the cute cake we got him!

{photo attached}

Minho sent the selfie of the three of them with Felix’s cake, if anything just to lessen the guilt in his chest. Hoping that the cuteness of Felix’s smile would be enough to forgive him for low key ghosting him for a few hours. Minho knows that on the days Jisung has the most schedules are the hardest for him mentally, and he always tries his best to be there for him and send him a message or two to lessen the load on those nights. The fact that he hadn’t been there tonight filled him with some worry. A part of him hoped that the younger would’ve been asleep by now but their late night track record did not exactly support that. 

---

Jisung had been lying painfully awake in his bed for an hour when he heard the buzz of his phone. Slightly upset with his body for not giving into the exhaustion he had gathered from the day, and just letting him sleep, he turned to the side table to check the messages. Awake fully ,but only mentally half conscious, he read through his messages:

Minho. Oh, yay, it's Minho.

Felix’s Birthday. Oh right he had mentioned that coming up.

Cute cake. Aw that cake is really cute… wait. 

Birthday.

I have one of those, around this time to- 

I missed my birthday. I forgot my birthday. Everyone forgot.

The cute picture Minho had sent was so filled with happiness that Jisung almost let the pain slide and pass the moment by. But something just didn't feel right in letting himself forget his own birthday. The fact that the others hadn’t remembered didn’t bother him too much. Chan, Changbin, they were all busy with schedules and he can't blame them. Especially since he, himself had forgotten. No birthday text from his family either. Unsurprising though since he rarely got in contact with them since moving to Korea in high school. He forgot though. 

He wasn’t quite sure why this was bothering him so much. Some people don't even celebrate their birthday, or remember how old they are, but Jisung had always prided himself on never letting his work take over entirely who he was. To exhausted-Jisung, he couldn’t help but feel like this was one step toward losing the grip on who he was, and that was in itself, terrifying. 

The coldness of his bed and the dark expanse of his room seemed to only perpetuate the way Jisung felt. Floating, alone, lost. His insecurity was starting to come into focus, and no wonder it had been keeping him up. He had been spiraling for days probably, without even knowing it. The buzz of his phone lit up his face, snapping him out of his own thoughts for a moment. 

[Lee Minho hyungie]

2:50 pm 

You okay Jisung? 

I hope I didn't wake you

Jisung noticed that the app had revealed that he had read the messages and was indeed awake. Unfortunately, exhausted-and--spirling-Jisung was the only one present enough to send a response. Hopefully Minho wouldn’t mind him too much. 

You didn’t wake me, was already up :/ 

It looks really fun hyung

I just realized something too

My birthday was yesterday

I forgot it

Jisung found himself fighting the watering of his eyes as he sent those messages. Why was he crying? He just forgot, he was busy. It was okay. Right? The tears seemed to only cloud his vision more, blocking him from reading the messages from Minho that were buzzing and populating the screen. Not bothering to wipe his eyes, he let them blurr.

Wh- do you- mea- ???

Jis--ng ar- y-- ok--?

I-- sorry i- di-nt -----

---- wa-t --- ca-l?

--sung?

A few moments passed, without him realizing it, as his phone buzzed some more, screen changing to the incoming call screen. Sucking up his tears and drying his damp screen, it took a few tries before answering the call.

---

“Jisung!?” Jisung nearly flinched, just nearly. 

“Hi hyung, How was work?” hoping to cover up his tears by changing the subject. Jisung thought it was a pretty good attempt.

“How wa- what, no. Jisung are you okay?” There it was again. The undeniable worry in Minho’s voice. Ow. 

“Yeah I’m okay.” Despite Jisung’s efforts it was obvious to Minho that the other had in fact been crying. Not wanting to push the younger though, he allowed him to change the subject

“.... okay, I just want to check in on you. I worry you know, Sung!” 

“About me? that's silly hyung.” The distance in his tone replaced Jisung’s usual brightness, and it hurt Minho to hear it. 

“I don't think so. How am I to know what my favorite customer is up to? You may be a soon to be rap star but that doesn’t keep you from ignoring your hyung.” Even though Jisung giggled at that, the irony of the statement wasn’t lost on Minho. A wave of guilt washed over his chest as soon as he said it. 

“I am sorry though. For not answering sooner and everything.” 

And for reminding you of your birthday, and making you cry, and not being there to make you smile.

“No don’t be sorry! That’ll only make me feel worse for bothering you… I think the exhaustion was just making me delirious, I haven't been sleeping well these past few nights.” Minho had to fight his initial protective instincts that told him to scold the younger for not taking care of himself, because a part of him knew that the younger was certainly trying his best to do so. 

“Well if you can’t sleep ever, just call me okay? I’m usually up from my shifts anyway. Plus if I'm not up surely one of my roommates is. Felix will probably never let go of you once he finds your birthday brothers." Hearing Minho's laugh lightened the tight pressure that Jisung hadn't realized had been settled in his chest.

"Okay hyung, i'd like that I think."

"You better. My time rarely comes free, and this is a limited time offer." Jisung’s laugh is a little bit more enthusiastic this time. 

“Of course hyung.” A silence came over them for a moment. Not an awkward one, more of a point of realization and relief. Like the feeling after having a good cry, in Jisung’s case. 

“Happy belated birthday Jisung.” 

“Thanks hyung… Did you have a fun time with Felix?” 

“Yeah! It was actually a lot of fun. Just some carry out and cake after work, but it was good to relax with them. We don't always have free time together, and haven’t had the chance to celebrate anything until now. Hyunnie luckily found a cake on sale at the mart today, sparking this whole thing.” 

Minho remembered the frantic call from the younger as he delved into his plans for giving Felix the “perfect surprise birthday celebration” because he had “found the perfect cake to match Felix’s cuteness.” It was on sale. Also because “Come on Min-hyung Felix would absolutely do the same for us.” Explaining the situation to Jisung really did solidify the fact that Minho knew Felix, would in fact, plan some adorable birthday celebration for the older two if given the opportunity. 

“What would you guys have done if he hadn't found the cake?”

“I’m not sure maybe it would’ve just been a carry-out celebration.”

“Still sounds really nice hyungie. You and your roommates seem so close.” 

“I suppose shared rent does that to people.” Minho laughed it off but he had begun to cherish the brotherly bond that had grown between his roommates. 

Not having ever considered it before, the fact that the roommates were only able to buy a cake because it happened to be on sale, revealed to Jisung that their financial situations may have been farther apart than he realized. Money had never been a barrier that Jisung had to face, always having family (or honestly Changbin) help pay for his living and pursuit of his dreams. Sure he’s had part time jobs in the past but he never found himself worrying about not making enough each month. Not going to university definitely was a large factor in maintaining his “affordable” lifestyle.

“It's nice you do things for each other. I can't remember the last time my hyungs and I have done something together that didn't have to do with our music.” Jisung started to feel some sort of jealousy at the closeness that Minho and his roommate had found in each other. Financial guilt and emotional jealousy are a strange combination for a half conscious Jisung to say the least. 

“Are those fools not taking care of my Sung properly? Illegal, tell them to call me I have to yell at them too. They better not be working you too hard.” 

‘My Sung’ Jisung almost choked. Almost. 

“Nonono Hyung! They take care of me fine, we're all just exhausted with work.”

“Hmmmm okay they get a pass this time, but please relay my threat.”

“Okay okay I will.” 

“You should probably get some rest soon. You're busy tomorrow right?” 

Jisung yawned in response, which was enough convincing for Minho that he needed to rest. 

“Okay looks like it's sleepy time for hardworking Jisung~”

“Wait hyung!” Jisung wasn’t quite ready to sleep yet, even though his body was actively fighting him.

“Yes belated birthday boy?”

“Thank you for not letting me be a sad gremlin all night. It would've been nice to have spent my birthday with you, but you still made me feel better.”

The musings of sleepy Jisung were just about enough to let the fondness burst from Minho’s chest. As much as he continues to hide it, the fondness still seeps into his voice, “Of course, Jisung we always have next year.” A promise he wasn’t sure he could keep but Jisung always made him want to try new things. 

“Next year?” The sleepiness had definitely taken over, making his voice much softer than his usual bright edge. 

“Yes next year... Goodnight Sungie, call me back if you can't sleep okay.”

“Mmkay, G’night hyungie.” Already half asleep by the time he hung up, Minho was glad that the younger was finally able to rest. Glancing at his roommates huddled together on the couch already drifting off, Minho accepted that it was his turn to finally rest knowing that all his younger companions were all safely sleeping. Hyung instincts he supposes.

-----

one ~ two ~ three ~ four ~ five ~ six ~ seven ~ eight ~ nine

[readingwritingcrying]

A good omens prompt? Crowleys a snake, and snakes dont sweat/are cold blooded. No way to internally regulate temperature. So maybe something about that? Overheating in the gardens or something?

nonnie, this prompt was absolutely galaxy brain of you. I’ve read several about him being too cold, but I haven’t seen any with him overheating and it was so much fun to write! Thank you so much, and I hope you enjoy!

Similar to how angels and demons don’t need to eat or sleep, they also don’t need to sweat. They don’t need many things a human might, as their grace (or equivalent demonic energy), was. However, there were still limitations. Their bodies could be killed, causing rather inconvenient discorperation. They could change physique depending on lifestyle, most things very similar to a human unless miracled to be otherwise. 

Angels, however, tended to fit in better, at least in terms of appearances. Demons tended to have more animal-like features. Crowley was no exception. His eyes, his tongue, even the way he walked was reminiscent of the beast he was cursed to be. He always hurt some in a human form, and most importantly to this moment: he had absolutely no internal temperature regulation. 

Sure, when Crowley’s flat was chilly, what was a little demonic miracle to warm it up? But when the whole of London felt like it was fucking melting, there just wasn’t much he could get away with.

Especially not now. 

Since the not-apocalypse, he and Aziraphale had to keep it light on the miracles. Little things, sure, after all, they weren’t hiding, just trying their best not to give Heaven or Hell any new reasons to be upset with them. So Crowley couldn’t just get rid of the heatwave, no matter how much he wanted to. 

It caused a whole lot of grumbling from him, at first. Crowley’s flat had air conditioning and heating because he knew it was necessary for himself. He may not have mentioned as much to Aziraphale when they had decided to move in together (a decision made after the second week where Crowley had refused to leave the angel’s side other than to tend his plants). He was a demon for- for Someone’s sake. It seemed silly to need such a thing.

He only regretted it this morning. Crowley’s eyes blinked opened slowly, squinting at the bright light that shone through the window. Normally, he would be content to bask in its warmth. But the whole blessed house felt like an oven. He groaned and sat up lethargically. The black silk of his bed was cool to the touch, and for a moment, Crowley was tempted to simply nap the rest of the day. But a breeze and the rustle of leaves reminded him of more pressing matters: his garden.

Crowley squirmed his way out of bed, dressing with a quick demonic miracle. Black leather pants with a black shirt to match - he had quite sensibly forgone the jacket today. It was worth it, with how hilariously flustered his angel would get whenever he showed a bit more skin than usual (really, Aziraphale’s sensibilities hadn’t changed in decades). 

As Crowley sauntered through the cottage, he realized Aziraphale wasn’t there. He froze quickly, horror flooding like ice through his veins. His slitted eyes darted around the cottage to check for any signs of danger until he spotted it. 

A little yellow note stuck to the door. It wasn’t actually a sticky-note, it was just a square of paper, but since Aziraphale thought it was, the paper found itself not minding being hung from the wooden door. 

‘Someone e-mailed about a misprint bible I’ve been just dying to get my hands on! I went to go meet them, and, well, I wasn’t sure if I should wake you up, you really did look quite peaceful my dear. I’m not even sure if you’ll wake up before I’m back since I won't be very long, I’ll be home for dinner, but just in case.

-Aziraphale’

Crowley’s face relaxed into an easy grin as he read the note. He could hear the words in his head as if the angel were saying them himself - even in a short note, he managed to have the same rambling quality to the way he said things. If Crowley were being particularly truthful, he would admit that he found it rather endearing. 

Letting the pleasant feeling sink into his chest, Crowley was soon out the door. He kept a sizable outdoor garden as well as the smaller one they had in an extension to their cottage. It was odd, modern, and not at all fitting to the homey style of the cottage. As well, it was quite ugly. But it was a decent sunroom, and nearly all the smaller houses seemed to have one. 

But since they ate in there, Aziraphale spoilt them absolutely rotten. It was a lost cause. 

Crowley walked slowly through the garden; face neutral. He glanced casually at the plants, inspecting them from afar with a carefully practiced disinterest as he decided on what he would need to do. Each plant would need careful watering, he could carefully snip at a bush here or a tree branch there, and with a furious hiss, he spotted a patch of weeds that had dared to grow in his garden.

Those he would destroy carefully, slowly, and painfully. Make an example of them.

Decided, Crowley got to it. He was utterly absorbed in it, as he usually was. The sun beating down on his back as he worked was almost forgotten. Each plant was meticulously tended to, checked for spots or for sagging leaves, or pests as the sun rose higher in the sky. 

He didn’t even begin to notice something was wrong until he stretched up with sheers in his hands only to drop them as pain seized his muscles.

He recoiled with a grimace as his muscles cramped, trying to move or breath in a way that didn’t flood his senses with a sharp stab of pain. Eventually, in what felt like hours but couldn’t have been much more than a minute, his body began to relax. 

If his body was that determined to be a snake, it would have to damn well wait, Crowley grumbled in his mind. Pain wasn’t unusual for him, but it usually wasn’t like that. As if he would let that from stopping him, of course.

He was rather busy at the moment, and couldn’t very well garden without arms. He wanted to finish, have Aziraphale come home, have dinner with his angel, and be some semblance of normal or at least of right.

And that was that Crowley pushed forward. The cramping didn’t stop. He was hot, and his muscles seemed to groan and tense with every small movement. And he was tired. It was something that shouldn’t really be possible. He hadn’t used great amounts of demonic power, and he had even slept the night before.

It really should be concerning. He was just too tired to be concerned. As another cramp shot through his stomach, Crowley knelt down in the grass. His skin was a burning shade of reddish-pink, his face was flushed, and his lips were dry. 

Crowley considered calling it a day and retreating to the shade of the indoors. Maybe he could take a cool bath, even. The thought was tempting enough after several minutes of feeling miserable on the ground, he decided to go along with it. A soak might help the cramps, even.

He wasn’t expecting the wave of dizziness when he stood. Crowley groaned a soft noise of discomfort, and steadied himself against the nearest tree. He waited for the odd spell to pass, but his head was still spinning, tilting, pulling his insides along with it. Everything was twisted all around in circles, making a mess out of his vision.

Cooling off in the shade would… well, it would have to do, he decided. Crowley let himself slide down, propping his back against the small trunk of the tree. An apple tree, of course. He growled in frustration as his limbs shook from the motion.

It was so hot and Crowley felt so… weak. 

Letting lethargy overtake him, Crowley let his eyes shut against the bright sun. He was breathing much too heavily, his heart feeling like it was starting to pound right out of his chest. He could barely hear himself think, and even if he could, it hurt his head too much to.

All too quickly he found even if he wanted too, he couldn’t move.

…

When Aziraphale returned from his outing, he could immediately tell that something was off. At this point, he had become rather familiar with the demon Crowley’s presence. Now that they were finally allowed to be together officially, they had hardly spent much time apart. Not that Aziraphale minded - he very much liked their current situation. He found the freedom to express his affections... well, quite honestly nervewracking at first. But aside from the lingering fear he would somehow mess things up, it was nothing short of heavenly. 

He, of course, noticed Crowley’s sudden clinginess as well. And Aziraphale knew that when his - friend? Lover? Crowley seemed so much more than just that - felt like it, he would let him know why. And until then, he was completely happy to indulge him. Actually, he always would be happy to indulge him. 

All of this is to say, Aziraphale was very much attuned to Crowley’s specific demonic presence. So when he arrived at their cottage, he was instantly worried.

It was still there, but it was so much weaker than it should be. He dropped his bag containing the book he had acquired and rushed inside the front door. “Crowley? Crowley, dear, are you alright?” His voice broke into a bit of a tremble. He wasn’t there. Aziraphale checked their bedroom, but there was no sign of him. 

At least the bed was messy, sheets pushed out in a way that confirmed at least Crowley had gotten up of his own volition. 

Aziraphale wrung his hands anxiously. Heaven and Hell couldn’t possibly have come for them yet, could they? Surely not in any organized manner, but if a stray demon ran across them, he feared it might be stupid enough to try and attack them. He needed to find Crowley. 

After confirming that he was not in the house, even in another form, Aziraphale walked back outside to check the backyard. 

Seeing Crowley was both relieving and even more worrying. 

He was awake, his eyes open only just, glasses slid down until they were hanging off his long nose to the point of being useless to actually conceal his eyes. They were all a golden-yellow that Aziraphale adored, but they stared out of focus, not yet seeming to register that Aziraphale was there. His skin was red and flushed, and even from here he could hear Crowley’s labored breathing.

Without a second thought, Aziraphle rushed to his side, kneeling down next to him. “Oh, Crowley, what happened, dear boy? Are you injured?” 

The demon only gave a small “Mn,” in response, and he couldn’t tell if it was a negative or positive answer. Feeling for himself, he was relieved not to find even a scratch on Crowley.

“You’re burning up,” he observed softly. His hands found their way to Crowley’s forehead, which should have been slick with sweat but it was completely dry. Snake, Aziraphale remembered. While Crowley had never mentioned it before, it was very much possible that he had no way of cooling down.

Crowley turned his head to the side, seeming to try and escape Aziraphale’s touch, muttering something incoherently. His eyes were clenched with fear, and with a start,, Aziraphle realized that he must not even recognize him yet.

If he was that disorientated, it couldn’t be a good sign. He could discorporate, even. Aziraphale had to cool him down, quickly. If he didn’t… well, there was no way in hell, literally, they were going to give him back. 

“I’m going to get you inside, but I’m afraid I’ll have to pick you up,” Aziraphale explained to the dazed demon. Crowley turned slightly, hearing him, but gave no answer. 

With a determined sigh, he braced himself, scooping up Crowley in his arms. Aziraphale’s heart broke a little at the panicked hiss he let out but held firm as he walked inside. His struggles were weak, and no match for the angel’s hold, but the fact Crowley was fighting him at all stung and worried him to no end. 

He would be okay. He had to be.

Aziraphale hurried back inside, making sure the temperature was suitably cooler in the cottage than outside. They were in the middle of a heatwave so different from the usual summers in England, and most of the houses didn’t come with any air conditioning. Most houses didn’t have an angel, and really, either could work the same if it wanted to. 

Gently, he sets Crowley down on the couch. Its brown leather was cool, and Aziraphale hoped that it would provide even a bit of relief.

He managed to find a thermometer (which they had gotten once they realized under unfortunate circumstances that Crowley, and most likely himself as well, could fall ill) and pressed the device to Crowley’s lips. 

They remained stubbornly closed. 

“Please open your mouth, dear. I won't hurt you, I promise,” he tried to reassure. Crowley’s gaze- his glasses had fallen off completely after Aziraphale had picked him up - was still clouded, but relaxed ever so slightly. Someone else might not have even been able to tell the difference. But knowing someone 6,000 or so years had its advantages. 

He was able to coax the thermometer into Crowley’s mouth, tutting when he read the final temperature. 40.7 degrees, entirely too high for his mortal form. 

Heatstroke, most definitely. He couldn’t let Crowley stay in those clothes - all tight, and entirely too warm, especially the leather pants he was so insistent on wearing. Even during a damn heatwave.

Aziraphale took off Crowley’s shirt first. He felt his heartbeat through his fingertips. It was fast, rapid, and weak. 

“Zziraphale…” Crowley whined in a panic. 

“Shh, I’m here,” he reassured him carefully. He spoke in warm tones, trying to keep Crowley from too much stress when his temperature was clearly too high for him to be anything but delirious. Eventually, the shirt was off. The tight leather pants were next.

It was a bit more of a struggle, with a much less willing Crowley. But at the very least the only Effort that was there was the effort Aziraphle had in maneuvering the leather atrocities off of him. 

Finally, Crowley’s skin was bare, pressing into the cool couch. His skin was still red with heat, and if he had been human, Aziraphale imagined he would be blistered with sunburns. 

Aziraphale was impatient. He simply couldn’t stand to see Crowley in such a poor state, still so defenseless and confused by his surroundings. An idea struck him. If he ran a cool bath - not freezing cold, he didn’t want to shock the poor demon and make the situation worse - it might do more good.

That, and draw less attention than constantly performing miracles to keep the heat down in their cottage.

With that in mind, Aziraphale quickly drew a bath up in their bathroom (which they really only had in case of human guests, and mostly because Aziraphlae really enjoyed the clever invention humans called bath bombs). After checking the temperature to make sure it was suitable, he went to retrieve Crowley.

He was lying on his side, curled up and looking dreadful. “Crowley, may I pick you up again?” Aziraphale lay his hands on Crowley’s back, encouraged by the fact he seemed to press into his hands instead of flinching away. 

Crowley murmured something that sounded nearly like a “sure,” and the slight nod confirmed this. Gingerly, Aziraphale scooped him up. He was muttering something that Aziraphale couldn’t quite make sense of, but that was really no surprise given his current state.

His plan was going rather well until they actually made it to the bathroom. When Crowley’s eyes blinked open, they stayed that way, staring at the water. Not noticing, Aziraphale tried to set Crowley in the bath.

Before he could think about what was happening, Crowley was struggling again, letting out a pained yell, hitting, scratching, whatever he could manage. “‘Ziraphale! Aziraphale! Angel!” he cried, his voice not managing to be loud even as he called for help. 

A wave of guilt crashed through Aziraphale as quickly as he realized what Crowley must have thought he was doing. He thought it was holy water, he didn’t realize it was Aziraphale and thought he was going to be killed. The cries of his love brought tears to his own eyes, although it shamed him to admit it. Too emotional. 

He set Crowley on the edge of the bath, safely dry. “Crowley, dearest, I’m here. You’re safe. Please, nothing will hurt you,” he said, repeating similar things until his desperate escape attempts settled, and finally, Crowley’s eyes seemed to actually settle on the angel’s, seeing him.

“Will you get into the bath please?” Crowley shuddered, his eyes closing with a shake of his head. How many times had Crowley been threatened with this, or whatever else hell had up it’s sleeve before the Trial that Aziraphale had gone to? He had been so caught up in his own fear of consequences, Aziraphale hadn’t realized how much it must have affected him.

To Aziraphale Crowley seemed much more careless, always showing up when he wanted him, and saying things that were far too dangerous, too fast. 

Only with his guard forcibly down could he see how he had been wrong. “You must trust me. Please, Crowley,” he all but begged.

A beat, and then, “Anything,” Crowley agreed. 

With a great sigh of relief, Aziraphale helped Crowly into the bath.

…

Crowley caught sight of the bath with the water, and his mind froze with fear. Whoever had him they. They must have found them. They must have found out, about their lie, and he was too dizzy and disoriented to properly fight, but damn if he wouldn’t try.

He thrashed about, calling for his angel, hoping by some miracle he would be heard, that they would make it out of this. His limbs ached and his head spun, but he couldn’t just submit. 

Please, please. I can’t leave him. I can’t leave him alone. 

They seemed to relent, hold relinquished, and the water at a safe distance away. It must be holy water, he could feel… he felt awful. But he could at least tell there was a holy presence and nothing in hell felt like that, so it must be holy water. 

“...dearest, I’m here,” Crowley heard, his heart lightening with a bit of hope. “You’re safe, nothing will hurt you.” 

Aziraphale. He came. 

“Will you get into the bath please?” Crowley’s mind felt fractured with confusion. Why would he ask him that? The angel was safe, he couldn’t want him to go into the holy water. That couldn’t possibly happen.

He couldn’t find the voice to explain it to Aziraphale though, his throat too dry, so he just shook his head, trying to ignore the way it made him feel the world spin. 

“You must trust me. Please, Crowley.” And that was so unfair. He couldn’t say no when Aziraphale used that tone of voice, and he knew that but why…?

Whatever the reason, Crowley could never refuse his angel, and in his feverish mind, not even this. “Anything,” he said, betrayal and confusion comforted only slightly by how soft and pleasingly cool Aziraphale’s hands were as he helped him into the water.

Crowley shuttered, letting out a low wine as he first touched the water, fully expecting to start sizzling away. 

He didn’t.

In fact, he was laying down, half-submerged, and he wasn’t dead.

It hurt to try and think about at first, but Aziraphale waited patiently beside him, comforting him with low voices and hums, and the occasional rubbing of his right shoulder with soft hands. 

Eventually, he had cooled down enough to think properly. Or at least, think, instead of bursts of realizations powered by blind instinct and emotion. 

“Angel,” he said, voice rough and dry. 

“Oh! Crowley, are you feeling much better?” asked Aziraphale, starting at the demon’s sudden inturruption. 

“Nngh. Could be worse. What…?” He trailed off, making a gesture, splashing a bit of water, to reference his current pradiciment. 

Aziraphale huffed. “You gave me quite a scare, you know. You were nearly passed out in the garden, and don’t you know not to work in such heat? And with black leather, too. You’ve been practically delirious for a good bit.” Although he tries to sound annoyed, Crowley can easily see through the weak front to his obvious worry and care.

He might feel bad for making Aziraphale worry, but that’ll have to wait until he stops feeling so bad himself. “Nn- uh, yeah,” he agreed, wincing at the sound of his own voice. Too damn loud, it is. His head is still pounding. 

“Is there anything you need?” Aziraphale asked. Crowley thinks about it. 

“Water?” He realized it seemed like a silly thing to ask for, considering he was in a tub full of it. “A cup. For, uh, drinking. Throat hurts,” he quickly explained. Aziraphale looks at him a little strangely, but before he can think, there’s a cup of deliciously cool water being pressed into his hands. 

He takes a long, indulgent sip, savoring how it soothed his dry throat. He could feel the cold as it traveled down to his stomach, making him feel just a bit better. “No need for a miracle, really,” he chastized Aziraphale, voice more tender than biting. 

Aziraphale chuckled self-consciously. “I hate seeing you this way, you know.” And Crowley does know. For mostly immortal beings, death isn’t a concept they deal with often, not for themselves. There’s always the assumption of tomorrow, and thousands of more tomorrows because they weren't really meant to end. 

And Crowley knew that when you had to consider it, it was more frightening and painful than he’d like to remember. He wanted to explain it, but that might’ve meant having to say some rather difficult things, and he was too tired for rather difficult things. “Sorry,” he offered instead, which might have been the easiest sign he still felt a little like shit warmed over. 

Aziraphale gave him a tender smile. “How about we get you to bed? I’m sure you’re tired.”

Crowley nodded and stood up. As he stepped out of the bath, he leaned heavily on Aziraphale. The water got the idea and got out of the way, not wanting to bother to two with any residual dampness. 

With his help, Crowley managed to stagger to their bedroom. He flopped on the bed, a small sound of comfort escaping his lips. “Commere, ‘ngel,” he said, voice muffled by the pillow. 

“I wouldn’t want to make you any warmer,” Aziraphale hesitated, luckily versed in Crowley-speak, with or without most levels of distortion. 

Crowley lifted his head from its comfortable spot and shot him a Look. He might not be able to resist any ask of Aziraphale, but Aziraphale had to surrender to the Look, so it was only a matter of time until a soft, shirtless angel was available for cuddling.

Crowley let the exaustion finally take its natural course, and he was soon asleep, possibly even followed by Aziraphale.

[jyunshiim]

𝗅𝗈𝗏𝖾𝗅𝗈𝗋𝗇; 𝗋𝖾𝗃𝖾𝖼𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝗇𝖾𝗏𝖾𝗋 𝗍𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝖽 𝗌𝗈 𝗀𝗈𝗈𝖽༆

Genre and themes: hanahaki!au | unrequited love | fictional themes | unwanted love | college!au | fem! reader X Hendery | fem! X Xiaojun |

TW:  blood

Listen to:  Moonrise by Day6  | 4am playlist

➪  You wait patiently. Quarter to 7am is when you leave your mellow apartment, that you rent out, to get to your university. It was a 1 long, boresome train ride to get to Seoul University; you studied incredibly hard just to pass the entrance exams so you were always determined to be on time and not miss a day. not even one. The sun was rising, setting the city aglow and despite just being past dawn, people were bustling around in the university already, grabbing coffee from the local cafe or a sweet treat they craved that morning from the nearby patisserie for their breakfast. Seoul was absolutely magical.

8:10am: You had an early Biology lecture that morning and you barely had time to grab something energising, not even an energy drink but it was common for you to miss breakfast for the first 3 hours. The air was light and comfortable enough to walk to classes. In summer, there were clusters  of sweaty students scattered on the verdant greenery of the school making it very hard to walk through. The hallways were incommodious and it was impossible to walk through without feeling the heat and stickiness of everyone skin brushing against yours and the pungent aroma of sweat. The lecturer was already in the room and a few students were dispersed around waiting for the lecture to start.You went and sat at the seat you always sit at -since first year university -and you put your belongings down on the desk and got out your textbook, small white pencil case and your apricot coloured, spiral spined notebook which you just purchased last week. you clear your throat quietly and put a strand of you dark hair behind your ear before you scroll through your phone to pass the last 10 minutes of waiting time, replying to messages from your best friends.

Coffee club-

You had a group chat with your friends; Sicheng, Hanna, Minseo, and Xiaojun. Xiaojun always treated you so politely since you were kids.you both went to the same high school and you were always seen as a cutesy couple but you both weren’t, of course.You guys were close but never shared any romantic feelings for each other, at least you didn’t. They were talking about meeting at ‘Kangmin’s Koffee’ after University; The cafe had always been a place where you all hung out after uni and shared what happened in the day over coffee. Of course you’d say yes because you love your friends so much. 

10:55am: 

After university, you packed up your textbooks and walked out of the lecture room sighing at your study schedule. You would notice students waiting outside the room and one of them was familiar to you,perhpas because you’ve seen him around with Sicheng and his friend Yangyang – but never actually knew his name. You signed out swiftly and walked out of campus and took a right and to the dainty little cafe cafe adorned with pink blossoming flowers and wooden chairs and tables.The cafe was opposite this beautiful florist that captivated all the local people. The flowers were always fresh and almost had a nostalgic sense to it. you just wished someone would surprise you with a bouquet but that was impossible since you never had time for relationships. Sicheng scooted up next to Xiaojun and the waitress brough over the 5 coffees that they ordered before you came. “i know you like hazelnut coffee with extra ice so thats what i ordered you,” Xiaojun smiled playfully giving a gentle nudge. You took a sip of the coffee and indulged in the saccharine coffee, the flavours mingling with one another, the caffeine flowing through your bloodstream. It was heavenly to you and only Xiaojun knew you had such a sweet tooth.

“ew stop acting like a couple,” Minseo spoke in her soft gentle voice covering her eyes jokily. 

“we are not dating!” you giggle and push him away and he sits and smiles at you endearingly. 

“you both look like you wanna eat each others face,” Sicheng teases and jokes with Xiaojun and Xiaojun gets defensive.

“I DONT,” his cheeks flare up a blazing red. He gets flustered and you all laugh but you comfort him. The atmosphere was entrancing, the laughter of you and your friends echoing down the bustling streets and the last bit of warmth fading into horizon along with the sunshine. September was one of your favourite months for this exact reason. Xiaojun always walked you to the train station before vanishing as soon as you board and go on your way. 

You walk into your dorm. The fragrant rose scented room invited you to your cosy apartment, the white fluffy rug between your toes making you feel as if you were  on a cloud, the warm fair luminescent lights hung from the ceiling giving the room a relaxing atmosphere. You sigh and sink into your mattress curling up into a ball but the chime of your phone alerted you. As you looked down at the bright screen, you drag down to see the notification. Of course it was Xiaojun.  

Xiaojun: hey, get home safe?

YN: yeah i got home okay, quicker than usual to be honest

Xiaojun: okay good! what you doing now?

YN: Probably going to make dinner now, how about you? you better not be playing games again and forgetting to eat:/ make sure you eat okay

you sounded like you care too much about every aspect but it’s fine you’re just friends, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea.....

Xiaojun: yea i will, i’m studying for my Korean writing exam it’s so hard :<

YN: you’ll do well, i promise you :< ily

Xiaojun: you too! and thanks yn i know you will always give me the support 

Xiaojun offline

University was normal for the past month but as October came around, you felt this wave of motivation flood you. You wanted to change something or do something nice for yourself.  A cool halcyon autumns afternoon you and your friends met again at the cafe. It was a lot breezier outside than the last month; the sky was a painted an orangey pink hue and the street lamps illuminating the streets already. Whilst walking 20 minutes earlier to the usual spot, a thought sparked in your mind. You thought to get yourself some flowers for you apartment to fit with the autumnal theme. The glass door opens and the tingling chimes sound throughout the store and a worker gets behind the counter.The various fresh floral scents wafted past you; roses, lilies, gypsophilias and other various flowers and plants. You look around to see what variety there is and what you want for your bouquet-

“hey do you need any help,” a worker speaks to you. 

“i was wondering if i could get a combination of the pink roses and the gypsophilias?” You ask before whipping your head around to see a young boy, the same age as you you presumed and you paused examining his face. where have you seen him?

“wait, do you go to Seoul Uni?” you say with a sweet smile 

The boy smiles and you notice his little flower brooch; Hendery. “yeah i do, I major in Media production,”

“ohh yeaa you’re in my lecture room after my Bio lecture,” you recognised him, you just never knew his name.

His dark umber hair was floppy, perfectly waved in a way which framed his facial structure. As you looked at him making eye contact out of politeness you couldn't help but notice his glossy coffee orbs and the way he smiled so.. softly. It reminded you of Xiaojun. 

“ohh yeah,” he lets out a weak chuckle, “so roses and gypsophilias?” he begins to pick them up and take them to the table for the other worker to arrange them for you. 

“Yes please Hendery, thank you,” you smile and go to the counter to pay for them. Of course Hendery is taking your payment. As you hand your card, his fingertips brushed against your soft skin and you retreat, panicked. He moves his eyes to meet with your and you divert your vision to none other than your phone. “Here’s your card,” he slides it across the table to avoid the contact and smiles whilst returning a small bow too. He looks up and smiles again. “ your flowers will take around 20 minutes to be arrange and packaged would you be able to pick it up soon?” he asks following store rules and protocol of course... right?

“oh yes i’m at the cafe opposite with a few of my friends so i should be able to get them!” You smile and nod your head

“ahh okay! i hope to see you soon,” 

As you turn around and leave and go to the cafe opposite you can see him through the shop window mindlessly staring out of the window. You wave at him and he gives a shy one back. “yn! where’s our coffee?” Sicheng asks as he jogs over with Hanna and Minseo walking close behind him.

“oh i-” you stuttered

“she was on a secret date with someone, what’s that i smell? a new perfume,” Minseo teases

“nahh it’s definitely for Xiaojun, where is he anyway?” Hanna turns around and sees him running, holding his bag to his chest. 

“s-sorry for being late,” he pants his ebony hair messy.

“why is your hair messy?” you ask fixing his hair as he sits down “ it looks cute, right guys,”

They all agree in unison and Xiaojun chuckles, “ thanks guys,”

As minutes went on, they turned to an hour. You completely forgot to pick up your flowers but you still didn’t recall until you heard rustling and a throat clear from the left of you. The group stopped talking. “uh um hey, we’re closing up now and-” he puts the flowers into your hands. “see you around,” he smiles and head off. You looked at him on his motocycle driving off and you looked back at the group smiling and whispering.

“Its not what you think!” 

You friends look at you and then back at each other. “soo are you guys a thing or can i have him?” Hanna asks jokily

“NO I mean YEA I-” you try to think straight, this was really embarrassing “yeah do whatever he just happens to go to our university and works at the florist where i went to get some flowers for myself” – they all in unison said ‘ahh’.

Hendery became more talkative with you in university and as time went on you both became good friends. Hendery’s tender smile greeted you almost everyday and it was clear to see his shy barrier he had was slowly melting away to reveal his extroverted personality. Hendery was like a star beaming in a stygian night sky and his bouncy energy like a puppy waiting for a treat. Hendery had such a sweet winsome personality and you were happier than happy to be friends with him. One evening after University Hendery saw you outside waiting at the bus stop since you were on your way to meet the others at a Korean BBQ restaurant. It was colder and ever so dismal but as he walked next to you he greeted you and noticed that you were cold. “ You seem cold?” he tilts his head his soft locks being pushed back with his warm-skinned fingertips. “oh yeah well I’m a little dumb and i forgot to get a scarf or gloves. I didnt really know it’d be so cold today,” you let out a weak chuckle before rubbing your frostbitten hands trying to accumulate the body heat you had left. “Hey yn,” Hendery puts his hand on your shoulder and you feel a sudden warmth immersing you “take these,” he hands you his leather gloves “also are you sure you don’t want a lift to wherever you’re going? the buses are really full,” he informs you. You think a little bit. He has a motorcycle, you have to hold him. What will Xiaojun or the others think? You decided to take the offer. “if you don’t mind and if you’re free please join me in our meal!” you smile was gleaming and perfect. In his eyes.

You sit behind him and he hands you his helmet. “where’s yours?” you ask concerned. “oh don’t worry you wont be the cause of my death,” he jokes around “it’s not too far so we should be okay yn, hold tight okay,” he advised you. Your hands wrap gently around his waist and you felt butterflies in your stomach. Xiaojun hugged you and often playfully threw you onto the trampoline at his house when everyone was around and you were slightly tipsy. You felt a small pang in your chest. Rapidly, Hendery went from 0-60mph, zooming through the streets of Seoul. The city made you feel like you were in a movie scene running away with your true love, only right now it was a friend of yours taking you to the korean bbq place. The sun disappears and the moon replaces the suns place. The glowing orb in the sky illuminated the streets and reflected off the shop windows. It was peaceful, so serene. The abrupt stop meant that you arrived, your face slamming into Hendery’s back which made you move back quickly. “ yn, you alright there,” he smiles and lets out a little chuckle. You stutter slightly trying to pull the helmet off not knowing how you even got it on. 

“wait that’s not how you take it off,” he inches closer and gets to the twisted clip that got stuck to your necklace. He untwists the necklace being ever so careful and precise. You knew for a fact your friends could see you and this ‘mysterious’ guy outside standing only inches away from each others face. This only made you think... is this how people kiss? You felt his finger lift your chin up so he could see the buckle. “ahh i see the problem,” he smiles seeing the issue. The silver chain was jammed in the buckle and Hendery was gentle with you. This was NOT what you had planned. “AH! got it, you okay?” he asks you handing the helmet on his bike. “yeah i’m okay, thank you,” you gulp and he opens the door for you and your friends all exclaimed at the fact you finally arrived. You and Hendery both sit at the table; “ohh hey Hendery i didnt know would come too?” Sicheng fist bumps him and pours him a soju shot. “ I can’t drink, i’m gonna have to drive home,” he points at his ride outside and a subltle smile paints across his face. It was a little awkward, especially because of Hanna and Minseo since they didn’t know how to keep anything lowkey. Xiaojun always put extra beef on your plate and the girls kept teasing him. “hey, shes my best friend of course i’ll give her extra?” Xiaojun chuckle and nudges Minseo. “then why don’t you act like that with me?” Minseo pouts jokily and Xiaojun sarcastically rolls his eyes “okay Miss Kim Minseo, here is your beef and an extra bit of kimchi too” Xiaojun placed it on her plate and then of course Sicheng was joking around too pretending to be the girls mocking them playfully. To you, you looked at Minseo and Xiaojun and they...looked cute together. Besides your thirsty friends and the random pit in your stomach, the atmosphere felt euphoric; drinking soju, eating luscious  flavoursome food, talking and joking around with the people who you love the most. You sit and go for the water jug at the same time as Hendery and your hands collide again. why does this keep happening? You withdraw your hand away from it so he can pour himself a glass of water. “shall I?” he says holding the clear glass jug hovering over your glass and you just nod. 11:36pm. The restaurant was closing and everyone was en route home.

 The onyx night sky coruscated as the heavenly bodies gleamed, the solitary moon illuminating the street you stood on along with Sicheng, Minseo, Hanna, Xiaojun and of course Hendery. “Lucas should be here soon,” Sicheng says to Xiaojun as he looks at his phone and then loking back up to the road. You all waited for each other to go home so everyone was safe especially during this time of night. “How are you getting home yn?” Xiaojun asked. You stopped bretahing for a split second, “umm i’m not too sure? I can take a night train,” you say looking for your train card. You scavenge through your purse to look for it but it wasn’t there. The paleness took over your face and you looked up in panic; “ I don’t know where my train card went?” Xiaojun looked at you and put his hands on your shoulders, “ hey, it’s okay you can probably take a taxi home or even stay with Hanna and Minseo?” you thought about that but in fact you couldn’t since the girls had a small dorm within the campus which was only enough for 2 people and there was no space for an extra person. “It’s fine, I’ll find a way home” you say a little downhearted. “If you don’t mind I can drop you home,” Hendery broke the silence, grinding the floor with his heel. Everyone glance at him as if he were some sort of hero and you were the damsel in distress needing saving - but you knew that you lived too far and this was a reason why you’d only hang out after classes. “Hendery to the rescue,” Xiaojun and Sicheng praise him (as boys do) “ We trust Hendery, he’s a safe driver,” they reassure you but all you could do is give a weak smile back and move towards the motorcycle. As he hits on, he passes you the helmet and you decline the offer, “you’re the driver, you need it more?” you insist, concerned about his safety. “yn, trust me, nothing will happen to me,” You hesitate but take it and put it on your head and sit behind him. Your arms wrap around him again and Hendery takes a deep breathe, closes his eyes for a second and smiles to himself. He starts the vehicle. “i’ll see you guys on Monday!” You say to the others, looking at Xiaojun. 

Hendery drove down the incandescent streets of Seoul. Your fingertips fiddled with each other but they also rested on his stomach, the warmth of his body warmed you up on this cold journey home. For a little while, to have a break from straining your eyes, you closed them but your head unexpectedly rested in  his back and Hendery’s head twitched as if he was going to turn around but he couldn’t. It was soon after midnight when Hendery arrived to your apartment complex and you felt the hasty breaks. “you’re home yn,” he says and you shake your head blinking to see your home. “ thank you Hendery, thank your for joining me for our meal i hope it was enjoyable for you,” you say handing him his helmet back and stood on the pavement. “It’s okay, anytime honestly,” he smiles - so pure. so innocent. “maybe we should get a coffee together sometime,” he blurts out unexpectedly which came to you as a shock. “of course! you don’t have my number so you?” you ask him and he shakes his head. you both exchanged numbers and you knew that he would become a part of the coffee club...

A seed has been sown – A flower grows when it has been sown deep in the ground and eventually grows roots, a stem and blossoms into something beautiful. Beautiful things have evil outcomes.

You and Hendery started talking more over text and even call and of course sometimes there would be group facetimes where he would be included too. It felt amazing to have such great people and friends who were there for you although you couldn’t help but notice one thing. Xiaojun. One evening as you were cooking on facetime, you noticed Xiaojun texting someone on his phone, smiling, but not the kind where he found something funny. The smile where someone makes your heart flutter, like it’s on a million candy floss clouds floating to - well- who knows? You didn’t want to poke your nose in his private life but since you were kids, you told each other everything? whether it was embarrassing or not like the one time you fell in a puddle because you were too scared of a bee. 

“hey Xiaojun,” you say as you go closer to the webcam “why you so smiley for?” you sounded a little passive aggressive but you didn't mean to.

 “Just talking to someone,” he smiles but that’s all he says and your friends notice.

 “Hey yn, wanna go to the new boba themed cafe tomorrow?” Hendery asks 

 Sicheng gasps “OIOI let me come as well,” he says. 

Hanna frowns “ I have a Liberal arts examination tomorrow after uni, I can’t go but i hope you have fun! i’ll go next time,” she smiles. 

“how about you Minseo? are you free tomorrow too?” Sicheng asks whilst tackling his puppy that was trying to eat his phone.

“I have to help my mother.. with groceries” she nods with her sweet smile.

“what ‘bout you,” Sicheng tries to get Xiaojun’s attention

“o- OH me, I cant tomorrow sorry~” 

You had to go offline. You declined the call without notifying that you’re going offline.

That night as you sat on your phone on your chat with Xiaojun wanting to rant to him you stopped and deleted the message and slammed your phone down on your bed. Your chest hurt really bad, was it your asthma acting up again? You try to sit up and search for your pump in the bed side table where you put all your medication for easy access although when you used it, it didn’t work. Maybe you were just exhausted so you needed to sleep. Your phone chimes, it was Hendery:

Hendery: Hey, you alright? you seemed off on facetime and then left

YN: not really... 

should you lie?

YN: just going through a stressful time

HENDERY: do you wanna talk about it? i’m here to listen to you

YN: thank you but i’m not feeling well right now and i was half way through making dinner and i just can’t be bothered to continue. I wasted so much.... 

HENDERY: if you want i can help you out? I know Hanna has to study, idk about Minseo, Xiaojun has guitar practice now and Sicheng has dance rehearsals 

YN: thats what they said after i left right?

HENDERY: yea and I’m free so

YN: I mean if you want i dont wanna force you

HENDERY: anything for a friend

The fact that a new friend care about you more than your best friend who you knew since preschool

HENDERY: I’ll be there in around half an hour what’s your house number?

YN: ahh okay, I can pick you up from downstairs 

HENDERY: okay that’s fine :D

Hendery offline.

That evening when Hendery arrived, he brought extra snacks and ice cream as well as soju. “H-” you were cut off by him. “I know you like soju so let loose a little” he smiles “you didn’t need to buy me so much?” you exclaim. He goes over to your hob to see that you’re making cheesy tteokbokki with some ramen and were also half way through making a kimbap. “Easy meal, i can make this” he continues from where you stopped from. You kept looking at your phone to see if you got any notifications.. none. But you tried to forget about ti since Hendery was here to keep you company and you had someone to eat with. You felt suffocated so you opened your window a little to ventilate your apartment and you took a pump of your asthma pump and assisted Hendery with the food. The aura was serene and everything felt bright as if the stars had lowered themselves for you tonight. The food had been plated and the drinks were poured into glasses and you both sat on the couch facing the tv watching a show. “how you feeling?” he asks. You noticed that he asks you that quite often? why? “A little, you’re a good chef!” You compliment him and as you do you see his rather charming face glow up. Your phone chimed and you reached over for it and see the notification; “who is it?” Hendery asks, curious if it’s one of the others. “Oh, it’s just Xiaojun I don’t know what he wants right now,” you unlock your phone and read the message;

XIAOJUN: wyd

You felt your stomach spiralling viciously. were you about to throw up? Your chest began to hurt with affliction. 

YN: nothing hbu

XIAOJUN: I was talking

YN: to?

XIAOJUN: a friend of mine

YN: since when were you so interested in this friend that you’d ignore us on face time

You could feel it was getting harder to breathe and your cheeks were burning up red. “hey yn, you’re going red? easy slowly you might choke,”he coughed 

XIAOJUN: why are you so passive aggressive? if i’m annoying you i can go

YN: and talk to this friend, okay

XIAOJUN: ?? 

YN: nothing, I’ll go back to hanging out with Hendery, at least he cares.

XIAOJUN: you’re with Hendery!! Since when were you and him a thing! I’m happy for you :D

YN: we’re fucking not. he’s my friend... it’s a shame how my childhood best friend doesn’t give a fuck about me

yn is offline.

XIAOJUN: yn? what? what happened what did i do

XIAOJUN: lets talk this out

XIAOJUN: hello? come back online, i do care.

XIAOJUN: yn...

xiaojun is offline.

You threw your phone on the floor and got up leaving your food on the table and going to the bathroom. Quickly you knelt down at the toilet bowl and your stomach heaved what you just ate and not only that a bunch of water. It wasn’t bile, you knew what bile was but this was pure water that exited your body. You began to get chestier coughs and in this time Hendery knocked on the door. “ yn, you don’t sound well, do you want me to help you? can i come in?” Thats exactly how Xiaojun would speak to you and how much he cared for you. Your night was crashing down on you like an asteroid destroying everything that night. Hendery opened the door and saw you dangling over the toilet bowl having difficulties breathing and your cheeks tear stained. “oh my god, yn-” he rushes to get to you and tries to pick you up but your mind was a mess and your previous memories disrupted the present. “XIAOJUN GO AWAY!”

“Hey, yn... I’m not xiaojun I’m Hendery” he says gently trying to solace you. He was understanding and heartfelt. He had all the qualities that Xiaojun has to make a perfect best friend. Eventually you got to your bed with Hendery’s help and he cleaned the apartment up for you. He went into the bathroom and you heard the tap running but even closer he was heaving too? Maybe it was the cheese? who knew.. “ hey yn, if you need me you’re free to call or message me anytime okay,” thats what Xiaojun said too once. You nod and he leaves the apartment until the next day. 

The growth of roots 11:43am: You had your early morning lectures and you sat on the University steps on your phone since.

MINSEO: hey where are you?

HANNA: library studying :/ hbu

MINSEO: looking for Xiaojun

MINSEO: and yn + sicheng

HANNAH: ohh okay, Hendery?

MINSEO: ohh yeah i forgot about him 

HANNA: where’s yn?

MINSEO: idk??

XIAOJUN: you lot spam, i’m coming out from the back entrance, i’ll be there

*seen by yn*

XIAOJUN: i see you lurking yn

YN: okay

XIAOJUN: aren’t you meeting with your boyfriend

MINSEO: boyfriend???

YN: Hendery is not my boyfriend, can you fucking not :)

yn has turned off her activity status...

Xiaojun taps your shoulder and smiles at you profoundly and offers you a hand to help you up. “what are you doing here alone?” Xiaojun asks despite you going off at him. “i dont know i wanted to be alone?” you scoff as subtle as you could. “ well Xiaojun is here now,” he says as he wraps his arm around your waist but it felt different.. to you at least. His flawless smile made you forget why you were mad at him in the first place; as you begin to walk your phone chimes.

HENDERY: hey where are you? I’m waiting at your bus stop :D

YN: i’ll be there soon sorry for making you wait

HENDERY:  it’s okay :D x

As you got to the main road, Xiaojun still had his arm around and Hendery called your name from afar but as he saw you both his smile dropped into a frown. Did you plan something without telling him to stitch him up? You writhe out of Xiaojun’s arms but he grabbed your arm. “where you doing?” he pouted and that was it. “w-with Hendery,” you gulped but your skin felt as if it were on flames and your lungs were clogged? you brought your asthma pump today too just incase. “oh yeah, he’s taking you out,” Xiaojun nods “ Have fun,” he suddenly drops your arm. You walk to Hendery not wanting to look back but Hendery saw what he saw and he didn’t want to say it....yet. That afternoon the boba shop with Hendery was diverting, it was a shame that it was just you two though... 

9:21PM: you sit at your dining table and scroll through your phone before you see a photo of Xiaojun on your feed but you thought nothing of it and scrolled past it. A painful knot began to grow within your lungs? what was this pain? You didn’t know what it was but the pain was just unbearable. It was difficult for you to breathe but you used your asthma pump but it didnt work this time so you ran to the bathroom again and your couldn’t help but throw up again but this time it was strange? There were red petals and leaves and peculiar vine looking things which startled you and couldn’t stop. The feeling was worse than last time, this time is felt tighter; there was was no scientific meaning behind this. You sat against the bathroom wall and pondered who you should tell? Maybe you’d keep it to yourself since no one would believe you right and claim that you’re making it up for attention, at least you hope they wouldn’t think that. You help your phone between your trembling hands, you were terrified. Coughing was painful; it was as if tiny thorns impaled you lungs and tight vines and roots were wrapping around it more and more every day. The question is, why? The whole night you sat in your apartment alone and agony. Help me. 

Your mind echoed with theories and conspiracies, were you a mutant? a glitch? or was this all a dream. The December Christmas festival was a big thing in Seoul so everything was decorated in red, white and green with snowflakes and mistletoes hidden around the street where the Cafe was. The tinsel glistened in the fairy lights swathed the tall street lamps as well as the shop windows. It was  Christmas day the following week and your friends organised a small Christmas party just amongst you and your friends and they decided to book a Karaoke room and then go to your apartment since you were the only one who lived alone. “what do you think yn? are you okay with the idea?” Minseo asks her pretty dusty pink lips pouting at you. She looked twice as pretty today; her hair was loosely curled, her eyes glittering soft pink and champagne, her lips a dusty pink and her clothing all neat and pretty. “yeah, that’s fine” you nod looking down and feel you coughing start up again covering your mouth “ excuse me..” you blurt out before running to the bathroom and locking yourself in a stall. “what happened?” Hanna asked confused and concerned “should we go to check on her?”. “I think she’s feeling unwell but we can go,” Minseo adds on and Hanna immediately gets up. Meanwhile, whilst you were coughing up blood, petals and full flower buds excruciatingly your phone chimes. 

XIAOJUN: hey, are u at the cafe with Minseo and Hanna? Sicheng and I are around the corner.

you ignored it since your excruciating pain didn't allow you to respond to him. Your eyes tear up smudging your eyeliner and staining your cheeks. Once you felt okay enough to leave, you fix your makeup and open the bathroom door. Opposite was the mens bathroom and you saw Hendery walk out too, brushing his thumb over the corner of his lip. “are you okay?” he asks looking at you noticing you were crying. “ i’m fine, just don’t feel well,” you lie “ your eyes are red? are you okay?” you ask him. There was a short silence. “just choked....on a hazelnut,” he responded. You knew he was lying but he knew you were too. December 24th 5pm the group met at the karaoke bar and went into the room they booked. It reminded you of your first year at university when it was just you and the girls; it was the first time you got drunk and had to crash at Hanna’s mothers house (of course she stayed with you). You all sat around the table and you were wedged between Xiaojun and Hendery. Great. Hanna and Sicheng picked a song and of course it was Girl Generation, Hanna’s favourite. You sat there next to Hendery and Xiaojun and Hendery tapped your shoulder to break you out of your dazed state. He slid a small shot glass across the table and you took it before choking on the pungent alcohol. “WOAH WOAH slow down yn, you normally never drink this quick or like this,” Xiaojun takes the shot glass from you. “and people change best friend,” you shrug his arm that sat on your shoulders off “ Hendery, please can you pour me an-” before your coughing began acting up again although this time you couldn’t run out since you were stuck between them; you felt liquid rise up your throat and thats when everything was out of your control and you coughed up blood, water buds and petals again and everyone gasped in shock and horror! “y-yn...” Xiaojun, Hanna and Minseo stopped and stared at you whilst you were trying to get rid of the flowers and buds. Hendery however put his arm around you and covered you and whispered something to you...

“hey, breathe slowly, it’s okay..” his mellifluous tone calming you.

“should we give you some space?” Xiaojun asks as he moves to sit next to Minseo and gave you and Hendery some space. Your heart ached and you closed your eyes and leaned into Hendery’s chest and he let out a small gasp. Hanna and Sicheng were back to the karaoke so the terrible singing, except Sicheng, drowned out the intrusive thoughts. Hendery hesitated putting his arms around you to form a hug, but he did anyway and comforted you. Around 7:30pm it was time to go to your apartment for the gift exchange for the secret santa you all organised. You had Xiaojun. oh the luck. Recently he hasn’t been acting the same and a pit fell in your stomach. You all sat in a circle. You sat next to Sicheng and Hendery this time. Xiaojun sat next to Hendery and Minseo. Sicheng gave his give to Minseo which was a fluffy pink purse like bag she had been wanting for months now and her face began to glow, the lights doing her all the justice. She was just... ethereal. you compared yourself to her a lot. “OMG Sicheng thank you so much I’ve been wanting this for so long” and hugged him. Next it was Hanna to Hendery; he unwrapped the gift and it was a silver plated rose pin. “ I didn’t know what to get but you work at a florist and seem to like flowers a lot,” She let out a soft chuckle. “ Its great! thank you!”. Minseo got Sicheng and got him a silver ring which looked rather expensive. You hesitated to give your gift to Xiaojun. You bought him a pair of shoes he has been wanting for a while and you wrote in your card;

‘ I hope we can step we can walk through everything together and not miss a single milestone.’

He smiles at the card - “ me too, let’s be friends even after we’re married,” but you know what he meant by that. Lastly it was Hendery. He gifted you a jewellery set which were little daisies made of silver as well as a little note inside 

‘ You look absolutely beautiful in silver, I hope you wear these and think of me, Hendery x’

“Thank you so much Hendery I love them so much!” You smiled at the gift. 

That evening as everyone drank hot drinks and played games together, you noticed something. Something about yourself. A deep desire that had been whirling in you mind and heart for the longest time had finally arisen and you decided that it was true. You look at him. His ebony locks neatly sitting over his forehead, his guitar bag on his back, his pearly white smile- everything about him. But he’s your best friend? you cant fall for him. This is what your heart was striking itself over and over again; your own best friend and your forbidden feelings for him. It all made sense. Whenever your eyes collided it felt like a million fireworks exploding into the sea of darkness, illuminating the void in your vacant heart making it feel vivacious. Your emptiness felt revived whenever he touched you, or your stomach would flutter when he would speak to you; his mellifluous voice echoing in your ears. That was it. You were completely in love with Xiaojun. It made sense after all these years you would grow such strong emotions for him and it was obvious now that you liked him. Perhaps he had the same feelings for you too since thats how he would act around you with all the holding and intimacy between you both and how he would care about you so much. You were certain of it. As you thought to yourself whilst in a room amongst your buoyant friends, you thought that perhaps you could confess to him. Now? okay maybe not now... maybe ask him to hang out after Christmas day? it was the best option. Eventually, as it hit 4am, everyone dozed off on the floor, couch and armchair. Xiaojun was curled up on one side of the couch, his arms hugging a cushion of yours and Sicheng on the other side. Hanna slept on the arm chair, Minseo slept against the sofa and Hendery slept on one side of your bed. Everywhere was occupied and you had no choice but to use the unoccupied space on your bed but it was fine he was your best friend so it was normal; you did this with Xiaojun and the girls multiple times.

You waited a while until New Years Eve to do what you have been planning for the remaining time that was left between Christmas and NYE. There was a firework display that was over the Han river and you and your friends went to see it. It was colder during the night time so you wrapped up warm and everyone was so effervescent and laughed together drinking sparkling Champagne or Prosecco. You stood next to Xiaojun and tapped his shoulder however he was too focused on the drink and on someone else talking to him. It wasn’t easy to hear each other since people were bustling around from town to the river. “Xiaojun!” you shout so he can hear you and he turns around smiling, his cheeks flushed a light pink. Everything seemed... different. He was glowing, his lips were a blushing pink, his skin like smooth glass. Everything had seemed to have enhanced? “I want to tell you something,” you say to him, a knot forming at your throat and you struggle to gulp your nerves. “ What is it?” he asks you lowering himself so he can hear you. His face was only inches away from your face and you wanted to do it, you really wanted to but you waited until 12am. “I’ll tell you after t-the countdown,” you stutter. He nods in confirmation and goes back to the group. Hendery talks and smiles with Sicheng but there was a fragment of pain and suffering in his eyes and you could tell when someone was hurting from a distance. He asked Sicheng to hold his drink before he went elsewhere.. did you want to follow him and ask hi if he’s okay or should you wait and tell Xiaojun how you felt. You chose him instead...

There was 1 minute left. You waited for the countdown. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1.

  HAPPY NEW YEAR! 

You look for Xiaojun since he wandered off closer to the front of the river. You run through the crowd of people but stop. Everything darkens. You feel empty. It felt like you feel out of heaven and everything was taken away from you. The heavenly passion, the sweet intentions you had vanished; Destroyed into an abyss of torment and pain. You felt the tear of you heart. I’m sorry. you tell yourself. You wish you didn’t have to witness what you did but.. well.. you did. 

Xiaojun stood there smiling ear to ear. The smile was sweet but you never saw him smile with so much admiration and love in his gaze before. You froze and watched what was happening, the pain in your heart only getting increasing worse and worse restricting you from breathing more. You see the girl he was looking at and it was none other than Minseo... His blushed lips pressed against her peachy toned lips, Minseo tip toeing to reach him and put her arms around his neck. He lifted her by the waist and the both giggled into each others kisses. You had it. You couldn’t do it anymore. Maybe it was time for this to all stop once and for all. Xiaojun comes up to you and sits beside you. “hey yn, what were you doing to tell me earlier?” he asks tilting his head back so his locks were pushed back from his face. “oh,” you pause. What else do you have to lose? “X-Xiaojun...” you stutter and he nods. “I-I loved you,”

Your heart stopped. It skipped a beat.

“huh?” he asks “you love me,” he chuckles “I’m glad you had the courage to tell me that yn but-” he gulps and smiles again “I love someone else...”

You didn’t know what to say but your tears took over. Hendery wandered around looking for you and saw you sobbing and Xiaojun not knowing what to do. He runs up to you; “ Yn? hey you okay, whats wrong,”. You didnt speak but just cried. “why is she crying?” Hendery asks Xiaojun concerned. “ I told her I love someone else... I didn’t know she liked me” Hendery stopped whilst holding you. “she liked you?” – rejection never tasted so good.. right

Now there were thunderstorms within Hendery’s mind and heart as well as yours.

Everything went black. 

You woke up. The bright light blinded you and you blinked hard to see where you were but the pain in your chest was.... gone. “how long has it been?” you ask a nurse in the room. “hmm 4 days,” You were shocked. “did i get surgery?” you ask. “ yes there was a peculiar blockage in your lungs and we had to remove them,”

You were pain free.

“ someones here to pick you up though,” The doors open to Hendery and Xiaojun. “Hey how are you now,” Xiaojun asks “I’m sorry about New Years, It’s just me and Minseo hung out once and there was this feeling i never had, i’m sorry i lead you on”

you thought for a bit. “I never liked you like that? I didn’t romantic feelings for you,” Hendery turns around and nods but leaves. “i’ll be back,”

“but you told me last night you did? i’m confused,” Xiaojun thinks

“oh, well i don’t,” You shrug

Hendery comes back and tells you both that it’s time for your discharge.

Months pass as everything is back to normal except one day. 

It was a refreshing spring day, the blossoming flowers glided through the spring breeze as the sun light cascades onto the viridescent greenery. You sit outside and always waited for your friends and always complimented how Xiaojun and Minseo looked, despite the memory that had been removed from your heart and mind. Hendery gave Xiaojun a small box and a card to give to you on your birthday; “ make sure she gets these on her birthday,” he tells him “i’ll be out of town for a while....” he lied but Xiaojun didn’t know but agreed to do what he asked. But as days went by a member of your friendship group vanished. Where did Hendery go? 

One evening, you received a small box and a card with it on your birthday. 

“ To my one love YN,

Since the second year of university when i first laid eyes on you I couldn’t control my feelings for you. You swept me away. I’m sorry I couldn’t spend your birthday with you but i had something i had to take care of. I have something important to tell you and that is you did love Xiaojun and whatever pain you felt was something i felt too.... for you. But getting the buds, vines and thorns removed it also made you lose all romantic feelings. Im sorry but I couldn’t see you in pain anymore. But i’ll be back... and hopefully my feelings wont get in the way anymore. 

-Hendery”

The silver rose was placed in the box. Hendery loved you? A rush of guilt and sadness flood through out you and now you were worried about him. He was in more pain than you were but he was strong and endured it just to make you happy. Because despite him being in pain, your happiness made him feel at ease. You called, messaged, you did everything you could. No answer at all. He disappeared. No sign of him at all and all you have left is a silver rose..

Where did Hendery go? 

[naptoons]

Broken- Erick Colon

Warnings: verbal fights, cursing.

Theme: Angst

Summary: you and Erick thought getting together would be great, you guys liked each other since you were in middle school. But never told each other, you’ve dated other people and now y’all are broken. So broken that the relationship becomes toxic.

A/N: I apologize for all the angst buttttt yah girl ain’t feeling the fluffs at the moment, I’ve been in a very let down mood so i apologize. But enjoy!!!

Proofread? : no.

Being in love with Erick consisted of bricking, kissing and makeup sex. Then back to yelling at each other and making each other mad. Loving each other started to become a chore. The push and pull of wanting to and being scared. You both thought this relationship would save you both. But y’all are far to broken for each other.

“She was all up on you Erick!!, did you not notice or you just dont fucking care?!” You yell at him for the fourth time this week, because he was so nice he couldn’t notice his friend was being too flirty, even though she knew you guys were together and you were standing obviously right there. “Y/n?” He sighs “how many fucking times do I have to tell you shes a friend?!” “ friends?! To be all cuddled up in you like that?!” “I don’t understand why you’re so fucking pissed about it y/n I’m with you for fuck sakes!” Erick huffs walking over to the sofa, you stand on the wall apart from him, fighting the urge to block his view of the tv, you weren’t done with him, cause he doesn’t seem to understand how this friend of his has a crush on him, to make matters worse it’s an ex.

“You’re probably fucking her that’s why you don’t care” you mumble with your arms crossed Erick’s leg bounces up and down trying to calm himself down, he was angry at how big of a scene you made at the party, you had leaped over the arms of Richard and Joel, pulling her hair down to the floor as you got a couple of hits in, to make matters even bigger you threw a drink at her. “Y/n-please I’m done arguing with you” he demands through gritted teeth.

“Well are you? Are you cheating on me?” You ponder, Erick doesn’t answer instead he drinks water from the glass “of course you would go back to ex, she’s everything I’m not Huh?”

“How ment times i Gotta tell your she’s just a friend?!” He yells at you standing up and throwing a glass cup close to you, your body shutters in fear. You’d never thought these arguments would result to you guys putting your hands in each other. The impact of that throw just shattered all over your foot.

“Baby—“ he shutters before two members come in, Richard and Chris looking at Erick, one in anger and one in utter shock

“What the hell is wrong with you?!” Richard yells at him, walking towards him Chris grabs your arm softly moving you out the way of the shattered glass. Joel and zabdiel turn around the corner looking at your cut feet, Joel lifts you up bridal style to take care of the glass in your foot.

Joel sits you on the sink grabbing the first aid kit, he sees your somber mood, your eyes look so distraught and scared, Joel swallowed the lump in his throat thinking how he can advert your attention from what just occurred. “Hey you wanna go grab some frosty’s? Or do you want McDonald’s milkshake?”

“If their machine works” you dryly joke

“True,” he laughs a little “so what do you want? Or do you want both?”

“I want spicy nuggets and a frosty, maybe a McDonald’s caramel sundae”

“Orders up” Joel smiles, “Cmon lets go”

Sitting on the grass, you pick at your frosty slowly turning it into a milkshake anyways, Joel notices how you’re spacing out so he rubs your back softly “do you need space?”

“No, cause when I’m alone I don’t know what I might start thinking, or doing”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Joel whispers, as if theirs someone following you guys.

“I’m a mess Joel, a broken mess and I knew this all to well, I knew this before I dated him, my last two relationships were scarring, one was verbally abusive, and the other cheated, I don’t know why I thought Erick would save me, I should’ve never jumped into this relationship—" your voice cracked

“If I knew I wasn’t ready” you barely finished, but Joel caught every vowel and Constant. “I fuck up every relationship I have”

“Hey no, that’s not true, listen those guys they fucked up the relationship to not even consider how you felt, because love shouldn’t be difficult, love is when you’re so terrified of hurting the other person, of they loved you they wouldn’t have dare to break you”

“Is love constantly arguing?”

“It is if you’re arguing about something that could potentially cause you guys to separate, that means both of you are scared, and sometimes it’s a defensive mechanism because you don’t want another relationship to turn out as the last”

“Arguments are nothing but miscommunication gone wrong” Joel hums at the end “and when that happens neither party is listening, it’s just pain talking” drinking the frosty from your cup you nod your head. Yeah, it makes sense now, neither of you guys are communicating because you both are scared of your bruises resurfacing, so instead of flight, you fight instead. It’s just pain on top of pain.

“So if you want, take a break think it over, do you love him? and is it worth the wait for you guys to heal?”

“Are you saying we’re together at the wrong time?”

“No, love has no time, and it surely doesn’t wait either, I’m just saying healing takes a while, but you can still be together and heal too, communication is one form of healing” he bumps your shoulder softly

“Wow, you really do give out great advice”

“If I did, id be with my ex right now, I’m just trying to prevent you from making the same mistake”

“Thanks Joel”

It’s been four weeks since you saw Erick, you were trying to give yourself and him enough breathing room to think about your relationship. And not only that but to discover who you are within yourself. ”now or never right?” You ask yourself standing in front of their house, ringing the doorbell you Yep your foot on the welcome mat. “Aw fuck it I can’t do this” just as your about to turn around the door swings open, and there he was. Even after all these weeks, he still gave your butterflies, and your cheeks rose in color.

“Hey” he starts off softly

“Hey-um can we talk?” You ask fiddling with your bracelet, it was the bracelet he bought you back from touring, with every stop they had you always remembered to buy you a souvenir. Since you couldn’t travel along with him cause of school.

“Yeah of course come in” you walk in the house, following Erick to his room, sitting in the bed he sits across from you giving you enough space so you’re not uncomfortable or scared. He’d never want to see you make that face, specially on his accord.

“So I’ve been thinking, that we’ve been having way to many fights, this break we had from each other was much needed” you look to see ericks head looking down at his hands , his body looked so stiff and somber, he didn’t seem like himself. “But, I know that I still love you and I have so much growth for myself, I have a lot of room to improve, so just know it’s not your fault, nor is it mine, and it’s not our exes fault either, we don’t get to choose how or when we get hurt in this world, but we get to choose how we deal with the pain, and we both chose poorly” you turn your body fully towards him.

Erick looked like he hasn’t been motivated to do anything for these past weeks, you had hoped he’d be taking care of himself like you did, but this hit him in a different way. “Hey Erick, I’m not mad at you, I’m disappointed in you nor am I upset with you, I know you didn’t mean it, it was just fear talking so dont-“

“How you can you forgive someone that almost threw glass at you? How can you love someone that argued with you until they pushed you away? How can you even for a second, still love me after all the pain I’ve gave you?” Erick finally looks at you, his eyes drowning in every negative emotion you can think of. “Y/n you don’t deserve the repeat of opening and closing so much, you deserve to be happy, you deserve someone who is there twenty-four-seven, you deserve someone man enough to actually listen and value what you say, because all I did in that relationship was made you cry alone countless nights, and gave you more problems then I was worth, y/n you really are an angel, and I can’t drag you down for being stuck in the past”

You stood up from the bed still eyes laid on Erick, you stood in front of him removing his hand from his face. He looks up at you shocked and dazed. He was wondering why are you still here? How could you even look at him? “Listen, I’m not going to force you into a relationship if that’s not what you want but listen to me carefully” you pause for his answer

“Okay” he lets out an unsteady answer

“Erick, remember when I told you that even if you were a shattered glass house I would still pick you up and rebuild you?” You ask him

“Yeah” his voice simmer down slowly

“I didn’t make that promise because you were my friend, I made that promise because I know what type of person you are, Erick you’re the most wholehearted, passionate and charming man I’ve ever been with, so why the hell would I ever stop loving a person like that?”

Erick gazes at you again his breath stuck in a tight air bubble, “Erick, yeah you scared me that day, but what made me scared wasn’t the glass, it was that we couldn’t help or understand each other, so I thought I would lose you, I can’t pretend that day didn’t happen, but I’m willing to heal it, to heal us, only if you want too” you kiss his knuckles softly. You missed the way his hands fit into yours, the way he would rub circles on your inner thigh when he was driving. The crinkle in his nose when you pull out the awful dad jokes.

You missed him.

“I’m willing to try too, I love you” Erick stands up hovering over you just by a couple inches “you look beautiful by the way” he caresses your cheek In one hand, while the other holds your waist.

“You idiot, my cheeks and eyes are swollen but I’m beautiful?” You punch him softly

“Always beautiful the hell you mean?” He furrows his eyebrows, “your as beautiful as the moon dancing across the water” you giggle with a slight blush tint from ear to ear, luckily it was dark in his room, next thing you knew Erick pressed his lips on yours, passionately he softly laid your back on the bed and hovered over you.

We had to save ourselves. In order to save our relationship.