#OH okay okay sorry i just realized why they assumed i dislike dean and dean stans from those tags

[marigoldjimmy]

You

[myinconnelly1]

A Life Unlived- Life Goes On pt. 3

Masterlist / Previous

Word Count: 1380

A/N: Season 4 still good luck don’t murder me  Happy Bday Donna!  Merry Christmas everyone!

Warnings: smut, themes of cheating, canon gore, angst- oh so much angst

“You haven’t said thank you yet,”  Castiel said flatly, as he stood in Myin’s bedroom.

“What are you doing here?”  She asked sitting up in bed, startled by his presence.  She could see the face of the vessel that he was possessing but also the ethereal light that made up his essence as an angel.

“You called for me, ask me for a favor, witch.  You know why I am here.  Now I need you to start paying off your debt.  Starting with Sam Winchester’s infatuation with the demon.  What do you know about her?”  Castiel asked.

“I only just found out that she was a demon.  Sam and Dean knew her before Dean died, but she had a different host I guess.  That’s all I know about her.  That and the blood.  Sam is drinking her blood,”  Myin spewed the words faster than she had planned to.  Then looked around her motel.  It didn’t feel right to her, but she didn’t know why.  “Is this a dream?”

“Yes, very perceptive.  Why did you summon me?”  Castiel asked.  Myin realized this was an interrogation without the torture.

“Dean needed to be saved.  Sam and I were looking for a way to do it, but we only found the spell that I used.  Sam doesn’t know that I cast the spell.  Dean either.”  Myin admitted dropping her gaze.  “How is that I can see you?”

“You gave me your sight as part of your payment. ‘So that I may see what is happening,’ if I recall,”  Castiel said.  He was all business.  Had he been human, Myin would have assumed he would have made a joke about the situation.  

“So you saved Dean? And now I can see you.  An Angel?”  Myin shook her head, she should have stayed out of this entire thing.

“Yes,”  Castiel said.  “You’ve always believed haven’t you?”

“I’ve always suspected there was something, but I didn’t know what it was,”  Myin rubbed her face trying to wake herself to be more aware.

“Don’t do that,”  Castiel said warningly.

“Do what?”  Myin said realizing that her skin was tingling and she had a headache starting.

“Try to wake up.  I’m keeping you here, you are no match for me,”  Castiel said matter-of-factly.

“What do you want me to do?”  Myin asked rubbing her skin trying to stop it from itching.

“Whatever Dean needs you to do.  He needs you to be strong, or he won’t survive Sam’s problem,”  Castiel’s voice echoed in Myin’s mind as she sat up in her bed drenched in sweat.

“Mommy, I have to go potty,”  Dani whispered as she stood in Myin’s room.  “It’s okay Mommy, the nice man will keep you safe.”

“The nice man?”  Myin asked looking at her oldest daughter with concern and confusion.

“The angel,”  Dani said with a small smile.

May 2009

“Dean?”  Myin asked in a concerned whisper as Dean pulled her through the hospital she worked at and into her office.  “What are you doing here?”

“I need your help, and I didn’t want anyone to see us,”  He said before turning the blinds closed.

“What is going on?”  Myin asked hearing Castiel’s words to help Dean in her ear.

“I had to lock Sam up,”  Dean said, squaring his shoulders as he faced away from Myin.

“You did WHAT?”  Myin’s voice jumped two octaves as thoughts of the hunter being in prison flooded her mind.  “Oh God, he’s probably receiving psychiatric treatments as we speak,” She started to ramble.

“What?”  Dean asked shoulders slumping as he turned to face her and grabbed her by the shoulders.  “No, I locked him in Bobby’s panic room.”

“Oh.  Why did you do that?”  Myin asked looking down at Dean’s hands on her shoulders.

“He was so far out of his mind.  He was drinking that demon’s blood.  He wouldn’t stop.  He thought he could… well don’t worry about that.  I’ve got him detoxing, but it’s not going well.  I’m just not sure that I can listen to him suffer anymore.”  Dean said looking at the floor and finally releasing his grip on Myin’s shoulders.  

Myin wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to her height as she hugged him.  Dean’s body seemed to almost go limp in her embrace and she could tell he was crying against her chest.

“Life is not fair Dean Winchester,”  Myin said soothingly as she petted his hair.  “It’s harsh and continues to throw us at everything we dislike.”

“I’m sorry that I came here, and bothered you at work,”  Dean said pulling away from her and standing up straight.  He wiped the wetness from his eyes and started to walk to the door.  Castiel’s voice brushed over Myin again, like a command.

“Wait,”  she said reaching a hand out.  “What did you need my help with?”

“So wait you guys have been trying to stop Lucifer from rising?”  Myin sighed at the grandness of the information that had be presented.

“Yeah, listen… something is really bothering me.  I haven’t told Sam.”  He looked at Myin across her motel bed.  “It’s my fault that this is happening.  The first seal that breaks to start all this, is a ‘good man getting out of hell’.”

Myin dropped her eye to the floor as she realized everything was really her fault.  She looked up at Dean, wanting to tell him.

“Please, don’t try and comfort me, I already know the truth.  The angels told me everything about how the seals work,”  Dean silenced her with a hand as he spoke.

“Dean, I did a spell,”  Myin said as she pushed his hand down onto the bed.  “Sam was desperate.  He had found a spell, I was in a bad place when I found him with Ruby.  I didn’t think all the consequences out.  But I summoned Castiel.  I begged him to save you,”  Myin had tears falling down her cheeks as she spoke.

“You saved me?”  Dean asked as his hand covered where Myin’s had grabbed him.  “It’s not your fault.  We have control of our destinies.  Fuck fate,”  Dean growled as he leaned over some open books and kissed her gently.

“Dean,”  Myin whispered against his lips, remembering the last time he had come to her motel and kissed her.

“I want you, but only if you want me,”  Dean said firmly, holding her hand close to his chest.  The pain of everything she had gone through with Sam bubbled close to her heart.

“I do want you,”  She said finally before pressing the next kiss on his lips.

“Condom?”  Dean asked as he pushed books onto the floor and Myin pulled her shirt over her head.

“Pill,”  She responded, knowing she wanted to feel him.

“You’re fucking beautiful,”  Dean said as Myin exposed her breasts from her bra.  He laid over her, covering her body with kissed and gently teasing nips.  When Myin thought she would explode from the anticipation, Dean pulled her into his lap and set a pace to have them cumming all over each other.  “Shit,”  Dean said as he laid next to her in bliss.

“It’s been a little while for me, sorry if I was rusty,”  Myin teased.

“You were fine,”  Dean said, slapping her ass playfully, before grabbing his ringing phone.  “What’s up Bobby?”  He ask as seriously as he could.

“What do you mean he’s gone?”  Dean asked sitting up on the bed, the afterglow shattering almost visibly.  He hung up the phone and got dressed.

“Sam escaped.  I have to go find him.  Stay out of trouble while I’m gone.  We’ll figure this out when I get back,” Dean said as he kissed her and left the motel.

“I free you from your oath to help me.”  Castiel said as he fluttered in the room.  Myin jumped and squealed as she realized she was still naked but the angel paid her no mind as he came over and place his fingers on her forehead. She hit the ground, and woke up several hours later.

“Bobby what the hell is going on?”  Myin left another voicemail on the old man’s phone.  Every fiber of her being was telling her that something was wrong, but she couldn’t figure out what it was.

@waywardbaby​ @destielhoneybee​ @snffbeebee​ @deangirl7695​ @spnbaby-67​ @maddiepants​ @ladywinchester1967​ @woodworthti666​ @miraclesoflove​ @tumbler-tidbits​​ @emilyshurley​​ @akshi8278​​ @mannls​​ @wendibird​​ @bobasheebaby​​​ @theoneandonlymelol​ @chelsea072498​​ @donnaintx​​ @justsomedreaming​​ @supernaturalenchanted​​ @kalesrebellion​​ @prettydeaneyes​​ @emoryhemsworth​  @dontshootmespence​ @its-a-spn-thing @vicmc624​ @idreamofplaid​​ @anaelsbrunette​​ @winchesterxfamilybusiness​​ @kickingitwithkirk​​ @wayward-mikaelson​ @electraphyng​ @mariekoukie6661​ @deanwinchesterinthedarktower @katelynw93​

[dotthings]

All right here we go, my notes on SPN 14.17 “Game Night,” which gets into parental issues and closure, domesticity on SPN, Cas and loneliness and connections with others, parallels between Dean and Cas, waffles, Dean’s facade, Sam’s heartbreak, my boredom and dislike of villain characters who I am supposed to dislike anyway, the nature of souls, and God as absentee parent.

First off, S14 has to be possibly the most domestic SPN season ever. We’ve had glimpses. But S14 is really digging in showing us this family’s life in the bunker. Add to this, even though Cas wasn’t present for game night, how accepted and normalized it is that Cas lives there. That’s his home. He’s expected and if he goes he at least tells Dean and it’s temporary, it’s assumed he’ll come back. Our bunker family includes 2 characters who aren’t blood related to the Winchesters, Cas and Jack, but they are part of the family nonetheless, something S14 has made abundantly clear. 

Why is this domesticity important? Isn’t SPN about killing monsters? It’s important because SPN is about killing monsters. It adds texture and layers to our heroes, makes their lives even more real, and ups the drama factor when we can see them have moments of domesticity and being a family to contrast with the harshness and the monster fights and the darker aspects. SPN from the get-go, has as its primary fuel the bonds between characters. Most of SPN is about Sam, Dean, and Cas as charcters who have MHI and PTSD and how they keep on keeping on, and their bonds with each other and other characters. 

We also need to be reminded of the stakes. Our heroes need to be shown living the world they’re trying to save and we need to see why they care if their loved ones are imperiled. We need to see them being a family to understand what could be lost. Remember in ep 300 alternate Sam and alternate Dean we learn are isolated characters and we see Cas devoid of personal attachments, and that was their tragedy. 

The monsters are really just a backdrop to explore these characters. Because SPN is a horror/urban fantasy series, we aren’t going to spend a whole lot of time on the domestic stuff, it needs lots of monster-killing action, but all in service of revealing character, and the domesticity needs to be there as part of the emotional weave. It stood out to me how extra domestic the start of Game Night is, with Mary and Jack putting snacks together, Mary trying to talk to Jack, and Dean trying to fix the mouse trap game, they reference that Sam is off getting pizza and will be back shortly, and we have a reason Cas isn’t there but we know if Cas were he’d be right in the thick of the domesticity.

They also did it because of how hurty this ep gets later on, for dramatic contrast.

Dean, our smart little engineer. Dean seems really, really frustrated he can’t fix the mouse trap game which you might think is just there for comedy but it’s not. He’s really minds he can’t fix that mouse trap game. Dean hates it when he can’t fix things, doesn’t he. When someone in his family is hurt or something’s wrong with them and there’s nothing he can do. He’s also not over that PTSD from having Michael screaming and banging in his head. It’s the little things. You think SPN actually forgot he has PTSD, look again.

And where is Cas? Why, he’s off meeting with the angel Anael to get a fix for Jack’s soullessness, without telling Sam and Dean, because Cas...he’s still got issues which I’ll get to a moment.

Interesting Cas orders a waffle he’s apparently not eating. Maybe just to not appear out of place in the diner. While Anael doesn’t even get coffee. Like it’s important to Cas to behave as a human, even if he’s not actually going to eat that waffle. Maybe Cas just wanted a waffle. It’s a really cute waffle, I’d want that waffle. This is reminding me of Cas and the milkshakes in 14.15. Why do they keep showing us Cas and cute milkshakes, Cas and cute waffles. It’s tantalizing. Almost lampshading the fact that this idea of Cas and milkshakes, Cas and waffles, is appealing, the idea of Cas enjoying these things, and maybe Cas would enjoy these things, yet he’s not going to actually consume them. 

So Anael was Joshua’s right hand. That was a reveal that shows she was an angel of some importance.

I love the Anael and Cas dialogue. “Ill-conceived lone-wolf desperation.” Anael has seen some things. There’s several moments here where she sees through Cas’s bullshit, and several moments where Cas sees through hers. 

Cas is not only hiding his deal with The Empty, he’s gone off to find God to fix Jack’s soul without telling Sam and Dean.

Oh this Dean and Mary scene. I’ve talked about Mary’s arc before, and how purposeful the distance and remoteness is, why the character is meant to be brittle, and wondering what kind of progression we’d see, a softening on that. Here’s another moment of it.

“You’re here, okay?” “But I should’ve been here more. I know I can be closed off, hard.” “That’s where I get it from.”

Oh, this is making me worried for Mary. That’s an awful lot of emotional honesty and softening and I’m thinking about John in ep 300 and closure and how that ended up. Dean got to say what he did to Mary near the end of S12. “I hate you and I love you and I forgive you.” And that was why Dean needed Mary back. But Mary has stuck around for several seasons and there are still unresolved things there. Which this scene offered one step towards a resolution for. How very John paralleling of you, SPN. 

Dean relating to Mary’s facade isn’t spn vilifying Dean. SPN doesn’t think Dean is actually closed off and hard, the narrative doesn’t show us that, and the authorial voices don’t believe it. Dean does however construct a facade for himself and I’m not sure how people can claim it’s vilifying Dean for SPN to remember that. (People want consistency and SPN to remember Dean’s characteristics...it does). Dean references his facade here. 

Remember that Dean’s perception of himself is that he’s a hardass. The Dean we actually see--and yes SPN is not only aware of that dichotomy but plays with it consistently--is a big-hearted squishy vulnerable softie who outbursts his emotions often and does a terrible job of hiding how much he cares. But in his Dean’s own mind his face is impeccably forged.

He’s acknowledging here he realizes Mary has a facade too and her brittleness and remoteness isn’t because she doesn’t care. 

I think also Dean wants to relate himself to his mom. He modeled himself on John much of his life and had to find a way to being his own person away from that shadow, but he’s actually always been more like Mary and he wants to be close to her. So here he purposefully spells out a connection between them, even though Dean isn’t really just like Mary, their facades are still a commonality.

Mary saying “I’m grateful” for all the time she gets to spend with her kids. Her adult kids. Not the babies she lost. Her children as they are.

Ohhhh something bad is going to happen I can feel it.

We get smart researchy Sam, and Mary and Dean mother-son badass hunting team. I’m sorry we haven’t seen more Mary and Dean team-ups, I’ve been waiting for that. (See why I’m nervous? There’s a lot of Dean and Mary stuff in this ep I’ve been waiting for and was denied and now getting it...Marty, I’m scared. I know how SPN operates).

So Nick is basically a complete amoral psychopath now and I am both bored yet weirdly relieved the story isn’t even going close to trying to make him someone relatable or intriguing. Nick is one of the only things most of this fandom in all lanes agrees on: he has to go. And SPN is making him as unpleasant as possible, reflecting that.

Jack and Donatello have no soul and yet they show more conscience and care of others than Nick, who has his soul still, which is raising questions in my head about how souls work on SPN and can empathy be learned even if the soul is gone. It’s not that Jack isn’t incredibly dangerous without his soul, his inner compass is completely borked. But not totally absent. Donatello also has judgment about how to treat others. But Nick...Nick is only murderous. 

“Because you’re a good man. You are. It’s one of the reasons I’m so proud of you.” 

We are John paralleling like mad here. Sam gets to hear Mary is proud of him. Dean gets an apology for her distance and her letting him know she appreciates being with him.

Closure, closure, closure. Something terrible is going to happen. 

These Cas and Anael scenes are utterly delightful. Not just because Misha and Danneel have a great rapport but the themes the dialogue is wading into is making me rub my hands together in metaish glee.

“I believe in Heaven.” 

Anael was a believer. Joshua’s right hand. She was a good soldier. Unlike Cas, it doesn’t sound like she had much inclinations to rebel. It seem unlikely Anael ever needed a reset, but like Cas, she eventually did.

“I don’t need Heaven and I don’t need God. I’m happy,” Anael says.

There’s that theme of actual happiness vs. false happiness again.

“Really?” says Cas, who we know has figured out how important bonds with others are. “Because that sounds lonely.”

“We’re all lonely because we’re all alone,” says Anael.

Well this just got deeply philosophical. We can feel alone even when we’re with others. Anael feels God abandoned everyone and she’s not wrong, and she hasn’t found a connection with others the way Cas has. And Cas, even though he has found those connections, is still a lonely figure. Isolation, alienation, feeling he doesn’t belong have been major themes with Cas for years. But Cas knows things Anael doesn’t about how life one earth works.

Oh I so am enjoying Dean kicking the crap out of Nick.

Jack is soulless yet still cares about helping Donatello.

“My father was a monster.” “He loved you...and you broke his heart.”

Shut up Nick, you manipulative psycho. Love isn’t enough. Lucifer “loves” like Thanos “loves.” 

Back to Cas and Anael, “I’m doing this for Jack,” Cas says. Which he is, in part, but it’s not the only reason. Anael may have passed on coffee but she’s packing tea. “You’re doing this because you’re afraid. Because in your mind it’d be easier to call God than tell Sam and Dean Winchester the truth. Jack’s soul is gone.”

Here is my whole separate post of its own on over-protective Cas trying to shield Sam and Dean from the storms and while it’s done out love, it’s misguided and his methods of shielding them often end badly.

But if you think Jack is all Cas cares about? Jack is the only reason Cas has done anything lately? You aren’t paying close enough attention (also that’s ignoring big chunks of canon anyway but I’m talking specifically, that even some of Cas’s Jack decisions have been about protecting Sam and Dean from pain...read my post). 

There’s another samulet. Cas recognizes the object most likely to be the telephone to God because it’s similar to the Winchester samulet. It’s not identical to Sam and Dean’s. Similar but different design. Slightly different purposes. One glows in the presence of God. Another acts as a voicemail system. Are there others, with other purposes, related to God?

Chuck abandoned humanity and the angels but made sure means of communicating with him were left, perhaps scattered all over the world? In case of emergencies? Was it a full abandonment? 

Cas sneaking away from his family to call his father for help out of their sightline because he’s scared and worried, why is that familiar. Where have I seen that before...oh yes, Dean calling John way back in “Home” in season 1.

This while Sam and Dean are going through closure things with the Winchester parents and Cas is again looking for his absent father.

“Go home and tell Sam and Dean the truth.” GOOD PLAN, ANAEL. 

I love this exchange with Cas and Anael so much. This is the whole lynchpin of what Cas has learned.

“Just because God’s not with us doesn’t mean we’re alone.” “Why? Because we all have each other?” “Yes.”

Similarly to how Dean had already accepted himself without needing John’s approval to do it, Cas has already figured out he’s not alone even though his father is a chronic abandoner.

Now Sam is beating Nick! It’s the Nick gets beaten up episode and I am so here for it. Sam doesn’t kill him of course because Sam is a good person but I am also sort of sorry Sam doesn’t kill Nick. Which I don’t think is the takeaway they intended and yet.

Sam’s Nickrage. Sam tried to see the good in him and give him the benefit of the doubt. Nick turned out to be completely amoral, and Sam was wrong. And now there’s something wrong with Sam’s shared Team Free Will adoptive child, Jack, who Sam needed to believe in. Sam has had something wrong with him and he’s not all bad, he was worth saving, others are worth it too and Sam needs to believe that. Jack maybe will vindicate Sam in this by the end while Nick is proving to Sam that isn’t always true and I think being faced with that is breaking Sam’s heart. No not everyone is worth saving. Not everyone can be saved.

It’s almost like survivor’s guilt. Sam is a good man. Sam had demon blood in him, he’s made mistakes, he’s done some terrible things, he’s been through some stuff, and he is worth saving. Sam doesn’t seem himself as worth it while others as less worthy, and he’s having trouble not over-identifying on this issue. This is a very long arc for Sam--think back to S8 and Sam talking about knowing as a child he was tainted, that he’d never qualify as a knight, as a pure hero he saw in the books about King Arthur. 

But those are idealizations of the heroic paradigm. Someone can still be heroic while being tainted and imperfect. Sam’s figuring this out but he’s still struggling with the object of the proof that not everyone is worth being saved: Nick.

I am not here for Nick beating up Sam. :((((((((((

I am here for badass Dean which is always good to see.

Oh no Sam. :((((((((((((((

“Count with me.” “You always put me first. Your whole life.”

Look I know Sam won’t die-die for good yet but this is still upsetting, Dean trying to keep Sam with him and Sam deciding that should be his final words to Dean, because he’s aware of all Dean took on and he’s grateful. Sam knows. This is also a mirror flip on Dean’s head injury in Ouroboros. This made my heart ache. :(

No can we not have Lucifer back please? I adore 98% of the characters on this show, I’m serious, I am an ensemble gal, but Lucifer’s story has, for reals, played out. Nick is irredeemably awful and dull, Lucifer is boring and selfish and cruel and petulant and I’m bored. Luckily for me neither is being presented as someone I am supposed to or expected to feel sympathy for and I hope it stays that way. 

Hey SPN, you’ve successfully made me feel zero sympathy for characters who I clearly am supposed to feel zero sympathy for! You did your job! But do you realize how dull this is? I’m not sure this is supposed to be so dull.

Jack just saying no to Lucifer. Bye, Lucifer! Thank you, Jack!

Thank you Jack for saving Sam!

Hey Jack’s not doing too badly for someone’s who’s soulless...oops wait. No this is not good.

Look I get the way Jack killed Nick is not good and soulless Jack is really dangerous and that was a horrible way to kill someone which Jack didn’t have to do, he could have done it mercifully and didn’t. Of course Mary is horrified witnessing that, and I would be too, but otoh thank you, Jack for dispensing with Nick who is not just murderous. Murderous can be interesting, there are lots of interesting villains out there. But he is just so boring. The drama of Mary’s distress at what Jack did is undercut a bit here because I’m not sorry someone kills Nick. I rarely ever root for any character to die, even ones I dislike (just write them off maybe) but I’m making an exception.

Really Jack’s doing me some solids in this ep.

And then a bad. 

Okay, bad Jack. No, Jack, don’t hurt Mary. Which, I been knew, something bad would happen to Mary, telegraphed all ep, and there it is, after all that closure. It’s left ambiguous exactly what happened though. Is she dead? Is she banished to another AU world? Turned into a woodland creature? Was it even Jack who did it? We don’t know what exactly happened yet. 

[thepokyone]

Misunderstanding

Pairing: Castiel x Reader (ft. Dean, Sam, and Gabriel)

Content/Warnings: Fluff; angst

Words: 1550

A/N: This wasn’t requested, but it’s been on my mind so I figured I would write it. (plus no one requested a Cas soulmate AU) Enjoy, guys!

“Alright, there look to be around twelve vamps in this nest,” Dean said. “Cas, you and Y/N take the back, Sam and I will take the side.”

You nodded, waving the angel over to walk with you. The sun was high in the sky as the two of you crept silently around the building. You were picking your way carefully through the leaves, watching for anything that could cause you to fall. Castiel tripped in a hole, limbs flailing, and you grabbed him before he could crash headlong into the wall and heaved him back. “You alright?” You whispered.

“I, um, yes. Fine,” He stammered, quickly taking the lead. The angel was adamantly refusing to meet your gaze. “This way.”

Shaking your head, the persistent wonder if Castiel even liked you filtered through once more. “There’s the door,” You whispered. “I’ll open, you go in first.”

“Alright,” He said, and you slowly turned the doorknob, pulling it quickly open. Castiel went in first, the two of you beheading unsuspecting vampires with little resistance. It wasn’t long before your ran into Sam and Dean, who had killed half. “I believe all the vampires are now dead.”

“Alright, good work team,” Dean said. “Let’s get rid of these vamps and get out of here.”

Castiel disappeared, wings fluttering, and reappeared a few moments later. “It is done. Shall we go?”

“Sure,” Dean said with a shrug, leading the way out.

You nodded for Cas that he could leave first, and you leaned down to tie your shoe. A painful smack of person-against-wood drew your attention to Cas, who was rubbing his face and glaring at the doorframe. “Cas, are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine,” He said stiffly before leaving. You noticed that his wings had twitched uncomfortably as he spoke, and you wondered, not for the first time, why in the world you could see them. From how it sounded, no one else could, and you weren’t going to bring it up. Shaking your head, you finished tying your shoe and went after them.

Castiel, it seemed, had already left without saying goodbye, leaving you to slide in the back seat of the Impala. “Hey guys?”

“Huh?” Sam asked, glancing back.

Dean too looked back at you. “Something wrong?”

“No - well, not exactly,” You said. “Do you think Cas has been acting weird lately?”

The brothers exchanged glances, and Sam shrugged. “Maybe a little more surly than usual, but… not really.”

“And you’re sure he doesn’t mind me?” You asked. “Because sometimes I get the impression he doesn’t like me.”

Dean scoffed. “Please, Y/N, that’s ridiculous. Of course Cas likes you.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” You said with a smile. But inside, you weren’t so sure.

You didn’t see Castiel for a few days after that. When you did, he tripped again, hit himself in the face with his own wing (which only you could see), stuttered more than usual, and generally gave you the cold shoulder. He barely looked at you, much less talked to you. Which hurt more than you wanted to admit. What had you done to make him dislike you so much?

Deciding you wanted someone to talk to other than the Winchesters, you left the motel you were currently staying at, praying for Gabriel. “Hey Gabe, I understand if you’re busy but I could really use somebody to talk to.”

Gabriel appeared in front of you, lollipop in hand. “Heya, cupcake, what’s up?”

“There’s just something that’s been bothering me lately,” You said. “Can we go somewhere quiet to talk?”

“Sure can.” He popped the lollipop in his mouth and offered his arm. “Shall we?”

He took you to an empty park, the two of you sitting on an old bench that looked questionable at best. Gabriel broke the silence first. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“It’s just…” You sighed. “I don’t think your brother likes me.”

“Who, Cas?” Gabriel asked, grinning for a reason you didn’t understand. “Sure he likes you! Why would you think otherwise?”

“See, that’s what everyone keeps saying!” You said in frustration. “But everything he does indicates the exact opposite!”

“Meaning what, cupcake?” He asked.

“He doesn’t even talk to me, he hardly ever looks at me, and every time we do talk he stammers and snaps! He’s not like that with anyone else, and I don’t know what I did to make him hate me so much!” You exploded.

Gabriel chuckled. “Cupcake, I promise you that Castiel does not hate you. In fact, he likes you a great deal. My baby brother can just be a bit, oh, shy sometimes. Look, what I mean is, don’t worry your pretty head too much about it. Everything will work out just fine, you’ll see.”

“Gabe,” You sighed as the two of you stood. “That’s not really much of an answer, you know.”

“I know. Sorry I can’t give you a clear one. Look, just give him time. He’ll come around.” He gave you a friendly kiss on the cheek.

The air prickled as Gabriel straightened, a smirk on his face. Castiel appeared, wings flared out behind him. He was angrier than you had ever seen him. “Get your hands off of her, Gabriel!”

“Oh hey, baby bro! We were just talking about you!” Gabriel said happily.

“Y/N, come here,” Castiel ordered. You glanced uneasily back and forth between Gabriel and Castiel’s bristling form. Cas’ eyes softened. “Please.”

For reasons beyond your understanding, you found yourself listening, walking towards him. Gabriel grinned. “I’ll just leave you two to chat, then! Toodles!” The archangel abruptly disappeared, leaving you and Castiel alone.

You shot the still-angry angel an uncertain smile. “Hey, Cas.”

“Y/N,” He greeted uncertainly. “I, um, I am afraid I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“Oh?” You asked, nodding for him to continue. His dark wings had relaxed, pulling inwards and ruffling uncertainly. “Is this, uh, about the wing thing?”

He gave you the first, slightly amused smile he had ever sent your way. You decided the expression suited him. “Yes, this is about ‘the wing thing’, as you put it.”

“You don’t seem surprised that I can see them,” You murmured, the two of you still standing beside each other. “Would you like to sit?”

“If you wish,” He said, and you reclaimed your spot on the old park bench. “As I was saying, I haven’t been completely honest with you. I’ve known you could see my wings for quite some time. I had always suspected, but then you brushed past them once - and no one should be able to actually touch them.”

“Why not?” You asked. “I realized pretty quickly no one else could see them, so I did a little research of my own. Couldn’t find anything.”

“No, I wouldn’t have expected you to,” Castiel said. “To see an angel’s wings means that you are their soulmate, their other half. And I’ll admit that despite this our interactions have not been… cordial, if you will. Which is largely my own fault.”

Your brain was still processing the fact that you were Castiel’s soulmate. “I’m you’re… how long… why didn’t…” Eventually you gave up trying to formulate a response.

Castiel’s lips quirked upwards. “It’s alright, I know it is overwhelming. Angelic soulmates are a well-kept secret, for their own safety.”

You asked the best question you could come up with. “How long has Gabriel known?”

“He was the first person I approached,” Castiel said. “I was… unsure about how to go about handling the information. And I knew he would be the most helpful regarding the matter. I should also tell you that soulmates are rarely not romantically involved. Though I will not hold it against you if you wish to merely remain friends.”

Your eyebrows raised. “Cas, I never said I didn’t want to be with you. Why would you think that?”

“I just assumed you would dislike you, after the way I have acted around you in the past,” He said simply.

“Cas, I don’t dislike you,” You said, watching his face change into a relieved expression. “You’re my friend. Even if you were a bit rude for a while there.”

“Oh,” He said simply. “Good.”

“May I touch your wings?” You asked uncertainly.

You watched Castiel’s face redden and wondered if that was the wrong thing to say. “If you want to. However I should warn you that my wings are… sensitive.”

You cleared your throat. “Gotcha.” Still, you reached out hesitantly to stroke a hand down his wings. The feathers were soft, one coming loose, and Castiel stiffened, face still red. You decided to quit torturing the poor angel for the time being, staring down at the black feather in your hand.

“It didn’t hurt,” He told you, sensing your concern. “And you can keep it, if you’d like.”

“Oh,” You said, slipping the feather in your pocket. “Thanks. Should we return to the boys?”

“They will be alright,” Castiel said. “I would like to stay here for a while, get to know you a little better.”

You smiled, scooting a little closer, and he hesitantly put an arm over your shoulders. You leaned into his side, a silent reassurance that his action was acceptable. “I’d like that, Cas.”