#ONE DAY GASOLINE 'VERSE ONE DAY

[vivelarevolution13]

the beloved name, exiled free verse poem (?) for @catws-anniversary, day 8 | april 2nd theme: bucky barnes | prompts: ghost story, memories, revenge | on ao3 here

Listen: this is a ghost story. Are you listening?

Good. Let me set the scene: here we are at the beginning of our path, here we are at the mouth of the river, still cool and smelling of salt and rotten fish and not gasoline. And here we have our protagonist who is like all other protagonists, which is to say he is handsome, maybe, or he used to be and he is young, maybe, or he used to be  and he is unimportant and mundane and utterly  human, maybe, or he used to be.

What about a name? This can get confusing, so let's call him Yuri or Yevgeny or Yakub, let's call him Joe or Jack or Jimmy— overplayed, overused, there's too many of those just running around all over the place, trust me. Let's just call him the universal name of all history, meaning let's not call him anything at all. Most of the real protagonists are nameless, and all history ever does is pile them atop each other, dead faceless weight on neat numbered lists, pour them out into shallow unmarked graves, send them home as bits of hammered metal and pairs of over-mended socks, meaning: 31 GOVT=WUX WASHINGTON DC 845PM 3-8-45

THE SECRETARY OF WAR DESIRES ME TO EXPRESS— Hello? Everybody home? Are you sitting  down? Sorry for your loss, ma'am. Sorry about the caked blood on his boots, about all the ugly, festering parts that nestled in the chest and grew outwards, stretching towards the sun. You should probably make it a closed-casket funeral, you should probably make it a nice picture on the mantle, a gilded frame for grief, because you won't like the thing the search party digs up from the snow.  Sorry for your loss, ma'am, truly, but know this: никто не забыт и ничто не забыто, meaning vechnaya pamyat, memory eternal, meaning we will forever honor your unnamed hero of a son on neat numbered lists and in the worn, earmarked pages of history. And don't that just beat all. Except for the ones that make it. Except for the rare ones deserving of a title, the ones left to carry history's weight, left to tell the story; left to be immortalized as the writing on the wall. They get to keep their names. You saw it, too. Not really, not the fleshy, messy parts between the syllables, not in a way that counts, and we're not here to talk about him, anyway. I'm the one calling the shots, I'm the one telling this story, so listen. If you say so. So we have our protagonist— tell me about the monster, then. Every good story needs a monster. Except I didn't say monster, did I, I said ghost: something caught in the  doorway but never fully in either room,  something that has a body which is never whole but always wants to be. The body which knows without knowing, which occupies the space between awareness and understanding; the nuclear shadow of longing.

But you don't want that, do you. You want something with clean-cut lines, something with teeth and a mean streak that adds up to more than just the disjointed sum of its parts. I don't blame you for that. So here: have your handsome young unnamed hero while he was still handsome and young and without the weight of a title for a name breaking over his back, sweating in summer heat. Have a scene drawn by a boy on a fire escape with a red-bellied bird over blue water that hasn't caught on fire yet; have a scene in which all the lights add up, in which there are no creeping shadows and the scenery makes sense.

Here is your kindhearted hero who walks tall and straight and shares his chocolate with the children sheltering in the basement of the shattered house, the thousands of children on whose bony backs the mythos of Leningrad was built— which is a thing our protagonist doesn't know then but will learn in time, with  practice and repetition beaten raw into the skin: pain, the mother and father and  inheritor of all earthly knowledge. And here is the monster which is, of course, a house with one too many locked doors, one too many broken windows and not enough light getting in to see his face clearly, to map into memory the places  where the glittering armor's cracked, where the boy's expression bleeds into the  bird on the page. The edges all crooked. The spine tilting to the side. The bird's not flying.

How can it, the boy who is not a boy but a man says, when its wing's broken? And our protagonist says: you're the artist here. Can't you make up a better story,  for a change?

I'm sorry. I tried to keep it simple. Let me start over.

There's something about the house you're keeping out of the picture. How did they get in if all the doors are locked? Where did they come from? Where did the overlap come from? The other side of the river Lethe, maybe, except that's just another myth our protagonist doesn't remember learning but knows anyway. Head stuffed full of stories, passed on in hope and bread and blood head stuffed full of cotton, gasoline-soaked waiting decades for something to  spark, except someone's cut the connecting strings, you see. Someone's hacked off the fuse. A lighter's useless if you can't even light a candle with it. A tool loses its value when it stops doing its job well, when it becomes nothing but the disjointed, disloyal sum of its parts and bites the hand wielding it, which is usually when the hand tends to get pissed. You know. I don't need to tell you this. The voltage wasn't high enough to burn out the fear of failure. If someone's cut the fuse, where's the flame coming from, then? Shut up, I'm getting there. We were talking about the scenery, about the roses next to the blown out window, pink on red on tablecloth white; we were talking about the dark-eyed girl in the basement with the one-sided dimple, the one-sided shyness, the handful of picked wildflowers when he walked back through the door, wanting to go back to a time when his body was a gentler sum of its parts.

What color were the wildflowers? Now you're getting somewhere. Pink, white, yellow; blue, maybe, the color of kindness. That is what they were fighting for, you understand, one and all: a kinder world, a world where little girls never end up hungry in basements again. That's what they were told over and over again by the same men in different suits.

I know what you're about to ask. No, the children never got out of the basement, and yes, the girl's eyes were blue back then, not brown a mirror of belonging, and in another version of events her hair was red, but that's a story for a different time. And the world? Well. Depends on who you ask. Anyway, we were talking about the boy on the fire escape and the boy in the shattered house drawing the same bird. Mythology carries weight even without proof of it ever happening, but this is different. Is it? What makes you say that? Well the birds looked alike, and the two boys didn't look alike at all except for all the ways in which they did, the lip caught between teeth and the line cutting between brows and the soft scritch-scritch-scritch of stubby pencil on cheap paper, a faint looping sound that should've driven our protagonist mad but didn't. Echo of a life repeated, of a sound as familiar as his own heart, which is the closest thing to proof of existence you can get.  I beat, therefore I exist. I am  beaten, therefore: there's still something permanent about this body that can't be taken away.

The boy's body wasn't permanent, or at least it turned out malleable despite its innate unbreakability, despite the hard-earned slouch of the shoulders and the same old broken nose and the twist to the mouth; not smiling, but close.  The eyes; not looking at, but not looking away.

Maybe it's not the boy that changed, but the looking. Maybe that's the part the protagonist made up after: the looking back. Explain the flame then, explain the devil in the details, explain the hunger cutting through the ribs, spilling the contents out into the world to be pecked at. If none of it was real, explain how all this light is getting in. Oy vey iz mir, I'll never get to the end if you keep this up. You sure ask a lot of questions, don't you? I don't like when you do that, just repeat words you heard once or twice— or a thousand times. Isn't that all storytelling is? Do you even know what they mean? Do you? They mean, enough already They mean, didn't I tell you to buzz off? They mean you've been at the wheel too long but I've been here longer, so let me talk for once, let me set some roots down in this shifting landscape you're running from and be more than just a collection of wild old hungers. I thought you said this is a ghost story. That's all ghosts ever are.

I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about our hero and I'm just trying to prove a point here, anyway. I'm trying to say maybe the birds weren't the same bird, maybe the bird wasn't even a bird and maybe the boy was something he made up, too, clinging onto hope like a thing with too many feathers, like a rope that could very well hang him. Maybe it's still enough on its own, anyway, the feeling that flutters through at the not-story, a robin's broken wing against the windowsill, the aftermath of a struggle; tender and violent and utterly unkillable. Sounds like a nice story. So why are you so angry?

Am I? Well, fear can sometimes cause an irrational reaction. Fear can make people dangerous, make them behave unpredictably. This is all empty rhetoric, of course, but you should understand. You're not people, either. Your lethality is not irrational. It's been hammered into a precise shape, like all things born out of a binary are— I know this story, too. It goes: Yes or no. Success or failure. Dot or dash. You finger's on the trigger: you pull it or you don't. What's your choice? Report. Never mind, I don't want to talk about this. 

Report status. Dot or dash? The choice of a small, bloody animal backed into a corner, which is to say no choice at all. The choice of go fuck yourself with the constant  interruptions, I was telling a story here.

That's not one of the options. Your finger is still on the trigger. The house is still on fire. What do you save?  What are you trying to pull? You know how this story goes so why rehash it why poke at  infected tissue, why— Because you won't talk to me plainly, you won't look at the thing head on, because I'm trying to be helpful, like I've always tried to be helpful, because the story goes:  We want to help you, you have to let us help you, you have to let us, so:  report.  I was getting there, why did you have to— Report. Answer the question.  You know, sometimes I think you liked it when they— Sometimes I think you like getting— Answer. Sometimes I think you— .-. . .--. --- .-. - two GSWs one to the stomach one to the thigh critical condition - .... -.-- / .-- .. .-.. .-.. / -... . / -.. --- -. . broken ribs shattered cheekbone pneumo thorax 32557038 you’ve known me your whole life exfil at 38° 46' 57.50" -77° 00' 54.22" you hear that assholes home by christmas and lying dead asleep on the couch lying dead sinking in the water lying strapped to a table when война закончена, слава героям Красной армии subject uncooperative try it again 32557038 sergeant 191 pts in most recent drill recommendation for additional training 3255 --- -. / . .- .-. - .... / I said .- ... / .. - / .. ... try it again / .. -. / .... . .- ...- . -.  he’s still talking  7038 initial report stated the body pulled from the Potomac was nonresponsive stated subject’s cardiac arrest lasted 176.83 seconds so try it again stated edelweiss, ein kleines edelweiss stated I give thanks before you for you have mercifully returned my soul within me stated 32557—

.-. . .--. --- .-. - Record skip. There's fuzz on the damn needle again. Where's it keep coming from? What was I talking about, again? You were about to tell me where the light keeps coming from. The light is irrelevant, the light casts shadows that don't make any sense, I told you, the light's just there for dramatic effect. Our protagonist is not an artist, he's not thinking about the light.

You're lying. You're leaving the important parts out again. You're ignoring what's happening in the house, you're ignoring the red string that's supposed to be leading the way, time-adherent. Of course. That's because all strings can be cut, all strings can wind up dead ends, all things can be taken away, including time. The string's not red because of the poetry of it all, bub. It's red because someone's bled all over it. We both know this, so  what's the point in reopening old wounds? That's how people hemorrhage. That's how the needle starts to skip. That's not how stories work. Why won't you tell me what he's thinking about? Fine. Fine then: he's thinking about the damn light, how it makes him look all translucent and tired and too human this man that used to be a boy that used to be a David long before they turned him into a Samson, and he tries not to think about how that story ends. He thinks about the light and he wants to say, keep your temples standing—the world's had more than its fair share of heroes and legends, and look  where that got us. Nothing good ever came from making a fallible man a myth. He wants to say: if there's someone who could knock them down blind it'd be this boy, but he'd rather look at him in this ghost light until the day he bites it than read his name in history books and over the tombstone of a hero's grave.

He wants, but that's not something fit to send back with the socks and the hammered metal, that's about as useless as crying over spilt milk, about as useless as the thoughts that lead nowhere but deeper into the pit our hero keeps crawling out of. And so he goes back to the numbers and the angles, to the sounds right outside the door, to the piece of metal in his hands because he was always so much better at that kind of thing, anyway. Things that can be taken apart and put back together, new from the old; things that can be forced into a form or a binary are so much easier to control. You know this, too. You're living, breathing proof of it.

Anyway, that's what he's thinking about at that time: speed, math, probability. Gravity, maybe. He drifted— wandered— walked purposefully so close to the edges of this man that he ended up wanting inside him, close enough to know him like his blood knows him, close enough to get warm and to shield from the draft through the broken windows snuffing the light out of them both. He'd ended up afraid of pushing too hard and ending up on the other side of him, afraid of falling off one hell of a cliff. And the boy who hasn't been  a boy in a while looked at him and said, Are you— and our man with no face said: Let's not do this again.  And they both carried on dealing with  things easier to handle, like smart numbers and smart maps and smart hands that did things they were good at but tried not to think about too hard at night.

He still ended up falling, of course. And then, well— a shot bird can't fly if its wings've been broken, a shot bird can't fly if its been fucking shot.

Someone lied to our protagonist, you see. It was a long time ago, but it still stuck.

But what about the light? 

Why the rush? Look, whichever end I tell the story from, we'll end up at the foot of the same cliff, the same river. I just don't know what more you want from me.

I want you to stop dropping the thread, I want you to stop playing dead already— that shattered house is on fire, and you keep trying to put it out with buckets full of bullet holes while I'm not looking and the water's all gone before you can even see it evaporate. The house is still on fire, the house is caught in a thunderstorm too many charged particles too close to the eye socket and the smell of crackling ozone and burning flesh and you need to get out— That's enough. Change the topic, I'm not doing this again. Please. Look, I'm  being nice about it. Fine. Do you remember who first told our unnamed hero that old Lie? No, but it starts like this: dulce et decorum est, except there's nothing decorous about flies on too-thin bodies, about the taste of fear like iron at the scraped roof of the mouth, about the things you saw your hands do; there's nothing about our hero that makes him a hero. Blood under the fingernails. White little petals high up in the pale mountains, white little petals on lapels, crushed to bits. You still remember how brown his eyes were, how young how quick the light behind them was snuffed out when all your muscles locked up, animal instinct. Mind you, it wasn't unwarranted— the motherfucker's knife was in your stomach. The pretty pale mountains were a screen for a world set on raging fire. Mind you, this was before the invention of a gun out of living flesh, before they gave you a title instead of a name. You were bleeding then, too.

I thought we were talking about the story.

We are, pay attention: Do you remember when you first realized the awful Truth? I know you don't, but it goes like this: you don't remember giving your life and you don't remember believing in something bigger than yourself, but your trigger finger does. Picturebook blue and gold over the river's surface, stretching yourself too thin towards the sun. Dulce et decorum est, pro patria mori. (Only one part of this sentence is a lie.)

You still haven’t told me where the light is coming from. And you still haven't told me why you want the answer so bad. I don't know. Is that what you've been wanting to hear? I don't know. You don't want to know. There's a difference. You're scared shitless is what you are, you sorry old thing. Falling back on old habits. I want to know how our protagonist ends up.

I’m working on it, alright. The road is long and potholed and roundabout and the story’s not much better, you see: the pictures are all there but the colors are too bright, the linework's all off, I still can't get the shadows to make any goddamn sense. Too many different mythologies, I think; too much static on the channel to pick the thread of the drama up clearly, and someone keeps cutting the transmission lines, anyway. It's downright sabotage, is what it is. Friendly fire. But our protagonist is getting weary, he needs a moment to lay his head down, so let me wrap up, will you, let me get a word in edgewise and put it in a way you will understand. Stop asking questions and let yourself sit in the house with one too many doors that you didn't notice before, one too many rooms and not enough hallways to connect them all. Make a place for yourself by the warmth of the fire in the burning house, and pay attention:

The doors are there for a reason. Did you hear what I said? Have you been listening? Someone's cut all the strings. Someone's left them to smolder in the ash, someone's bitten the hand that used to hold them raw, and now the monster's asking questions. Now the monster's off its leash, and it wants what all angry, abused abandoned things want, which is someone to be afraid of it for once, which is a way out of the maze, a clear path into the sunlight. It wants its due. I thought you said it was a ghost. Gimme a break— there's no place for semantics in this discussion, there's no place for a discussion at all. I'm telling you now: ghost, monster they're all just different words to say— something that's other, something on the outside looking in, something with no belonging. All different words to say: something that used to be something else once.

That's why our hero is no hero, you see: no Samson, no Oisín, no Theseus; at best, he's the minotaur. At worst, he's the ship. Something new from something old, over and over until it's unrecognizable. A gilded frame for grief masquerading as an honor. That's where the light is coming from, you understand. That's where all the strange old hunger is coming from: the blue of the wildflowers carved into bone; the beloved name exiled to the other side of the river Lethe. That's what the monster wants. A way back home. Monsters don't get to make demands. Only heroes do. You think? You still haven't figured it out yet, have you? You're still thinking in binaries. Who do you think I've been flapping my gums at all this time, who do you think our tired nameless protagonist with all that blood on his boots is? And who's the one out of the two of us here asking all the goddamned questions? Open your eyes. Put your ear to the ground. Listen: I lied. This isn't a story. This is a warning. Someone's cut all your red strings and that someone was you, pushed out of a century of quiet by the wrong dead body in the wrong burning river and a feeling you didn't understand in the shape of a name cutting your ribcage open to the sun; which is why you're so angry, which is why you're  scared shitless, which is why you've got more questions than answers. The needle's still skipping, so we’re flipping the whole thing over to B-side. Can you hear it? Can you mouth along to the crackling words? It seems to me you've heard that song before, so: wipe the record and start over. Maybe this time the melody'll actually stick.

And then? And then, you get your due. No gods, no mythologies, no more fucking stories, just this: you, blowing up the burning house and clawing your way out into the sunlight.

[nectar-cellar]

OC Obscure Associations

thank you for the tag!! @descendantdragfi @elderwisp @treason-and-plot @holocene-sims lets ignore the fact that im super late to doing this 🤍

honestly i had to think ab these a lot i hope they make sense even tho they probably don't 💀

-

ANIMAL: scared cold wet dog that was left out in the rain

COLORS: black

MONTH: december

SONGS: less than zero - the weeknd

NUMBER: 13

PLANTS: a small potted cactus

SMELLS: old books, gasoline, chlorine, the smell of grass and roads after the rain, sandalwood, smoke and leather

GEMSTONE: ruby and obsidian

TIME OF DAY: 3AM

SEASON: winter

PLACES: a late-night diner, an empty library

FOOD: chinese takeout, greasy cheesy pizza, falafel, instant ramen, fast food

DRINKS: black coffee, cans of redbull and monster, cheap beer, tequila, foul-tasting protein shakes

ELEMENT: earth

ASTROLOGICAL SIGNS: i'm honestly stumped by this one bc i'm not very well versed in astrology. what sign do u think he is

SEASONINGS: pepper, chili, cumin, cardamom, cinnamon, garlic, hot sauce

SKY: dawn

WEATHER: rainy, dreary, foggy days. a hot summer night. a snowy east coast winter.

MAGICAL POWER: mindreading / telepathy

WEAPONS: a metal baseball bat. brass knuckles. a small pistol.

SOCIAL MEDIA: twitter, letterboxd, an empty grindr profile

MAKEUP PRODUCT: he doesn't wear any but smudgy black kohl eyeliner and black nail polish are very him. maybe some glitter face paint too.

CANDY: chewing gum he bought from the corner store

METHOD OF LONG DISTANCE TRAVEL: plane (economy seats)

ART STYLE: a rough pencil sketch made in a notebook... also, not sure what u call it but that art style you see in older superhero comic books

FEAR: fear of abandonment

MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE: the griffin, or alternatively, a vampire with a moral dilemma

PIECE OF STATIONARY: wooden pencil

THREE EMOJIS: 🖤🙏🔥

CELESTIAL BODY: the moon 🥺🌙

[eternalspring4]

seeing parallels between heaven help us (mcr) and hell followed with us (aj white)

so i started rereading hfwu and im already insane about it. and i was listening to my hfwu playlist while i worked on a painting of benji, and heaven help us came on. and then i realized, the line, "mostly i've been sprawled on these cathedral steps while spitting out the blood and screaming, someone save us now" parallels PERFECTLY with benji's begging god/something to save him from new nazareth AND how he vomits up the flood rot/organs for the "spitting blood" part. then i realized the entire song narratively represents the book. lets go one verse at a time.

hear the sound, the angels come screaming / down your voice / i hear you've been bleeding / make your choice / they say you've been pleading: someone save us!

okay, well here the angels represents...the angels... the sound could either be their prayer or gunshots. and i think the next part matches up with how nick recognizes the flood rot benji spits up and knows that benji is the seraph from the first time they meet. the choice nick makes is to take benji into the ALC and to not say anything. the pleading is how benji frequently begs god to save him from new nazareth

and out of this old hotel / but i can't tell if i've been breathing or sleeping or screaming or waiting for the man to call / or all the above / cause mostly i've been sprawled on these cathedral steps while spitting out the blood and screaming, someone save us

"this old hotel" is the ALC, and benji "waiting for the man to call" could refer to how he's just waiting for the angels to come capture him again OR for the seraph to take him. then the spitting blood part is the flood rot organs vomit thing. yeah.

as you're falling down / and will you pray for me? / or make a saint of me? / and will you lay for me? / or make a saint of me? / cause i'll give you all the nails you need / cover me in gasoline / wipe away those tears of blood again

this part goes with the devasting part towards the end when benji is in new nazareth again and how the angels all praise and worship him. i'm not sure about the nails and gasoline part, this book doesn't deal much with themes of crucifixion. HOWEVER, the gasoline COULD be with the ALC fire scene.

and the punchline to the joke is asking: someone save us now / come crashing down / we'll hear the sound / as you fall

this part matches a little too perfectly. at the ending of the book, it's the IRONY. that benji uses the weapon the angels made of him to destroy the angels. the punchline to the joke is that benji uses all of his manipulation and trauma to fight back. the ALC group will witness benji take down this group that has killed lord knows how many people.

final thoughts:

im not accusing aj white of plagarism or anything, it's probably a coincidence. i genuinely just found this super fucking cool. i'm posting this so that i can look back on it and possibly make an animatic one day. also sorry if any of this is off or anything i haven't gotten past page 40 and i don't remember a whole lot of details

[spade-riddles]

Haven't listened to any leaks, but I'm already cracking up nosing through the tag for the Swiftie perspective on TTPD.

"Joe didn't cheat on Taylor, Taylor cheated on Joe!"

How could he cheat on her? It wasn't a real relationship 😂

She's tried to erase his influence with not one, but TWO beards already. She wants Toe out of the picture, dead and buried in the minds of fans, and what achieves that better than hinting she was so bored she cheated on him? This doesn't surprise me at all, but apparently it's a world-shaking idea to Toe Nation. I can only assume they didn't listen to her verse on Gasoline when it dropped. I've been expecting this since then.

* assorted wailings about Taylor's poor treatment of Toe *

Taylor manages her public image like a military operation, and yet since Midnights, it's like she's been going out of her way to present her fans with "problematic" behavior, and force them to confront it. "Anti-Hero", "Dear Reader", all the wine and weed, Tratty, 🚜 . . . She's trying to get these children to accept she's not who they think she is, and may one day disappoint them. But they just don't get it. Now she makes an album inviting people to assess her flaws, and they still can't accept that it's okay for her not to be perfect.

"The Toe breakup was because of Joe's depression, and Taylor was unsupportive!"

I'm howling. I would bet my car the depression is a lyric about Taylor herself they just THINK is about Joe. Apparently these fans also believe Renegade was Taylor singing her love to poor broken Joe, though, so I don't rate their lyric analysis skills highly

I can't wait to see what else flies over their heads. Swiftie and Anyone But Karlie Gaylor batshittery has become my favorite part of any new album rollout 😁

[rhettabbotts]

Morning time by Zach Bryan is so Rhett coded

oh OH!!!!! i could write an entire book on how this song is so rhett coded 🥺 pls bear with me as i word vomit over this

you in the morning time reminds me of the summertime. and any time that ain’t right now seems to be a waste of time.

rhett loves waking up next to you. the way the morning light shines through the window and casts shadows of your sleeping frame. you look so soft and delicate, he can’t believe you’re there in his arms. you give him a warmth that reminds him of early summer in wyoming, those days that are just right - perfect.

i fucking hate love, but i love you in the evenings. - i love you in the evenings but i fucking hate high hopes.

rhett’s had his heart broken one too many times. he always has a fear that you’ll eventually leave. he thinks that he’s only worthy of being loved in the dark, being hidden from the rest of the world. he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, doesn’t want to believe that you’ll stay.

cutting grass for cash and gasoline to prove i’m worth your touch and time.

rhett would break his back working to make enough money to take you out on fancy dates. but you tell him that he doesn’t have to do that. he’s scared that he’s not doing enough to show you that he cares. but you don’t need the five star restaurants and expensive bouquets. you just want him.

the way i figured i was worthless when i lost a love that should’ve stayed.

when maria left him, he felt like he wasn’t worth loving. he had given her his all, left his family to be with her. but she walked out. but then he met you. and again, he knew that once he showed you all of him, you would leave. but you didn’t. and you haven’t. and you won’t.

you in the morning time reminds me that each day is mine. to be grateful for the rising sun sneaking through the window blind. the way you tell me it’s alright the past has passed, and right now has arrived. you in the morning time makes me glad i’m still alive.

okay i had to include this last verse because my god.

you have shown rhett just want it means to love unconditionally. you see him, every part of him, and you love him just the same. all the good, all the bad, and everything in between. you make him want to be a better man, for you and for himself. you know about his past, about the things his family has done, and you don’t run.

the softness of mornings with you give him purpose. knowing that he’s going to have you by his side come daybreak gives him the courage to face whatever the day may bring. and when you wake up with a lazy smile on your face and you place a kiss to the scar on his shoulder, he knows everything is going to be okay. just as long as you’re right there in his arms.

[gender-in-a-blender]

music tag game

write one song for every letter in your url and then tag as many people as there are letters in your url

I was tagged by @darkurgetrash! ty 💛 this was so fun and I may have put too much thought into my choices to show the diff genres and bands I enjoy — including some throwbacks I still put on to this day 😌

G - Gasoline / Maneskin

E - Enter Sandman / Metallica

N - Night Terrors / SPELLES

D - Demons / Hayley Kiyoko

E - Experiment On Me / Halsey

R - Rabbit Heart / Florence + the Machine

I - I Had Me a Girl / The Civil Wars

N - Next Girl / The Black Keys

A - All I Wanted / Paramore

B - Burning / Yeah Yeah Yeahs

L - Last Nite / The Strokes

E - Eat Your Young / Hozier

N - New Again / Taking Back Sunday

D - Daylight / Harry Styles

E - End of Beginning / Djo

R - R U Mine? / Arctic Monkeys

DO I EVEN HAVE 16 MOOTS ON THIS ACCT?! that’s so sad 😂 this is what happens when your lose the page you’ve had since 2010 and have to start over fresh.

no pressure tags:

@between-awake-and-asleep @broodiestbat @bleedingoptimism @m0nomercy @paralleledfate @effelants @themeghanlodon @little-paperboat @chrystalmethchristian @el-tur-el @ninjantome @tinkerbclla @ktplier @lihhelsing @robbie-verse @sereinpetrichor

[x-heesy]

SwaG attack

Intro]

Are you gonna bark all day, lil' doggy?

Or are you gonna bite?

[Verse 1: Skits]

Ah, okay

Here we go again, civil hit ’em

100 kilogram sledgehammer rhythm that'll split 'em on impact

Swimming like Gibbens through this track

We keep the safe guarded by Rhodesian Ridgebacks

Underground studio, witch craft

Stuck in the booth like a movie role

The hash in the air smells like cookie dough (Who you know)

I couldn’t give a fuck less about

Try rapping that tuff with ya guts hangin' out!

That about does it, ya heart rate plummets

Ya best friends vomits, the sky rains comets

No shoulda, woulda, coulda or what ifs

Hacked into nugget sized trash bag rubbish

You talking to the one that wrote branded at 21

Fuck ya Instagram, fuck Donald Trump and Lil Pump

This is rebel shit, heavy metal shit

Spit at the cops and skip school for the hell of it!

They call it hip-hop but where are the bars, yo? (Where are the bars?)

Yeah, you treway but you rap with armee

I catch bodies like Narcos

Stuff a fake rapper face first in a wood chipper like Fargo

I scribble riddles that kill all you little Lils

Ya body is in the shed while I pillow talk with yo widow

I bet a lot of parents don't like Skits

But it goes like this...

Ahem, listen kids

Hook]

Thats not a knife, this is a knife

Thats not a rapper dont give em the mic

Thats not a classic fuck all the hype

Fuck all your likes, give me your life

[Verse 2: Jay]

See, I'm anti social, I don't wanna talk to niggas

Mind yo fuckin' business, I don't wanna chalk them niggas

Count yo fuckin' fingers, now you gonna lose some digits

When the Reaper set foot inside the buildin’ shit get vivid

Live it to the the limit, any sin I did commit it

Niggas try to live it, I can see it’s just a gimmick

See, I'm an old spirit, but my body young, nigga

Got a drum gun ready to stun these dumb niggas

So Imma lay ’em flat like a flat earth theory

Y'all niggas don't wanna come near me, I swear, B

I fuck 'em up beyond recognition, that’s the first step

Skits pour the gasoline, we light 'em up like birdsnest

Burst chest, alien, I'm the worst yet

Perfect organism, cut yo circuits

See, I'm in deep space, y'all niggas always delayed

Better listen to what we say, or get erased, B-day

Anger in my chest, I gotta let out all the energy

Soundcloud rapper, you is not who you pretend to be

I will beat one of y'all niggas, I wanna be one y'all niggas

So I can jump on the cliff and never have to see one of y'all niggas

I'm a different type of breed, yeah, different type of trap, yeah

Slit a rapper throat and fuck his bitch right in the ass, yeah

I bet a lot of parents don't like Reap, but I'm in too deep

Don't sleep

Hook]

Thats not a knife, this is a knife

Thats not a rapper dont give em the mic

Thats not a classic fuck all the hype

Fuck all your likes, give me your life

Thats not a knife, this is a knife

Thats not a rapper dont give em the mic

Thats not a classic fuck all the hype

Fuck all your likes, give me your life

Give Me Your Life by Dope D.O.D.

@luna---zylum @bigbonzo @boanerges20 ❤️‍🔥

[ace-of-squirrels-card]

Turpentine is my all time favorite song. It was my top song from Spotify wrapped in 2023 despite being released on October 20 (wrapped was released Nov 29 lol). It's about searching for meaning in a meaningless life. Let me tell you what's so fucking amazing about this song: an essay, by me, ace of squirrel

Soak your clothes in kerosene

Cleanse the mind of ketamine

Slide your mom on top of me

Wash yourself with turpentine

Okay this song opens with very classic Tom lyrics. Wacky, silly, seems meaningless, casually vulgar. In many ways this entire album feels like a return to form, and that opening verse is a great example.

My arms, I've raised again

Today I don't feel bitter

I have no path within

Don't know if I'll get better

My own mind's unclean

Can't taste anything

What if I'm not like the others?

A broken man, a Frankenstein

What if my heart won't recover?

I'll clean myself with turpentine

Then there's an immediate tone shift to these really raw lyrics. These lyrics are heavy. It gives the impression of someone who woke up one day, no longer recognizing themself. As if to say "Is this what I've become?" Feeling like somehow, the whole is *less* than the sum of its parts. We're all just these broken pieces, haphazardly sewn together and hoping it holds. 

Meanwhile the guitar has this desperate, almost panicky feeling behind it. Somehow this is also very classic blink.

I feel like I'll cave in

I'm anxious, I am weathered

I've lost my way again

I know there ain't no treasure

These lyrics *kill* me, my god. These lyrics are saying we're crumbling apart, breaking at the seams. We're on this journey, we're lost, and we know that nothing good awaits us at the end? There's such a hopelessness to this verse.

My mind breaks with ease

Sticks and stones and dreams

We already have the ingrained association of sticks and stones being things that hurt us. Now you want to lump dreams into that category? Oh honey, who hurt you

Sharks smell the blood in the water

We're all just lambs to the slaughter

It's only all the time, this time

A generation lost and forgotten

Clawing at the lid of the coffin

Your God ain't coming back this time

We have this fun little moment that is very Mark here. We see these "spoken word"-like verses from Mark in a lot of his other songs (and especially collabs like Find My Own Way or Let Me Down). While a lot of the lyrics sung by Tom feel like an internal monologue, Mark's verses look outwards. The world around is more than uncaring. It's actively harmful, maliciously negligent. There's a sense of desperation and utter loneliness and constantly fighting to survive. 

Quit your job and have a drink

Take a pound of ecstasy

Blah, bla-blah, bla-blah, fuck

Wash yourself with turpentine

This ^ *this* ^ 

Self destructive, desperate. It's like they want to convey how meaningless everything feels and the best way to do that is not even bother writing a lyric here. Love it. 

Light me like a trampoline

Stick your dick in Ovaltine

Snort a bag of Dramamine

Douse yourself in gasoline

Throw up in the limousine

Jack off to a magazine

Wash yourself with ... turpentine

Goddamnit

Ughhhh this last verse. Amazing. It's back to classic goofy Tom, but it feels *very* different given the context of the rest of the song. Theater of the absurd. It really pulls together the meaning of the entire song. Its not so much some silly lyrics, and more like a desperate attempt to feel something. Anything. Self-deprecating at best and horribly self destructive at worst. 

Just from the perspective of a rhyming scheme, the structure is *chef's kiss*. They're showing off a certain mastery of language in this song that I would've expected from more ....respectable artists.

The song as a whole is about searching for meaning but struggling to find it. Filling the void in your heart with whatever you can, but never being fulfilled. Doing all this dumb shit, acting a fool even if you're not, because you feel so broken on the inside. It's this delicious dichotomy between deeply meaningful and hopelessly meaningless. Now THAT is classic blink (just look at Take Off Your Pants and Jacket, which somehow has a really heavy song about about a broken family dynamic but also a song about grandpa just ate seven fucking hotdogs). 

You can hear it throughout the entire album, theres this  apology to each other. It's all of them saying "I lost track of what was important. I forgot who I was because of dumb shit that didn't matter." And turpentine is that introspective lynchpin. 

Anyway y'all thanks for reading, that was a lot to come out of an account that mostly reblogs weird Danny phantom content. 

[thats-the-teen-spirit]

Top 10 songs of 2022, reviewed by yours truly

10, Artificial Suicide by Bad Omens

I was pretty late for the new Bad Omens album hype but this song has always been in rotation since the album release in February. The rest of the album is pretty good as well, but this song stands out for me because of heaviness and the lyrical theme. Bad Omens are one of the bands nowadays that dare to change without faking it. Amazing song.

9. Miracle by A Day To Remember

I'm one of those elder emos who remember the biggest hype around ADTR around 2014 or so. I always considered Homesick as one of the greatest albums of all time and after their last album, You're Welcome, I was just as disappointed as everyone else. Thankfully being an Imagine Dragons cover band didn't last long. They came back with this single with probably one of my favorite breakdowns of the year. Completely unexpected but very well done.

8. Techno Train by Electric Callboy

German metalcore band Electric Callboy had a pretty busy year. First they tried to apply to the Eurovision song contest with their song 'Pump It' that brought a lot of new fans to the band, but ultimately got rejected because of their old name and old lyrical themes that, needless to say would be 100% cancelled today. Because of this rejection and because they realized they're here to entertain, not offend, they changed their name. Then they put out bangers after bangers with schlager turned deathcore song 'Hurricane', a collab with Conquer Divide called 'Fuckboi', and a song about being a Spaceman with a german verse I don't even understand. Then they released their album Tekkno which is arguably one of the best overall records of the year. This song however stands out just because of the lyrical ridiculousness. The CHOO-CHOO-CHOO in the breakdown is the thing this year that never fails to make me laugh. 100% banger.

7. The King And Queen of Gasoline by Hot Milk

British pop punk duo hot milk has been on my radar for a couple years now but with their new EP they got a place in my heart for sure. This song in particular is so catchy, that after a single listen it got stuck in my head for days. I couldn't figure out what it was but then I realized and it hit me. The verse, the guitar riff and the chorus are all so unforgettable that there's no way someone forgets them in this century after a couple listens. The lyrics are as emo as ever, which of course were also appealing to me. Their earlier song that I really love is 'I Think I Hate Myself' which has major Welcome To The Black Parade vibes in its bridge and its solo, which I thought was worth mentioning since that also come out recently before this EP. Both are amazing songs by an amazing band.

6. Masterpiece by Motionless In White

Some people in the metalcore community always judge MIW for being a Breaking Benjamin turned goth cover band and, well, they're not entirely wrong. Chris Motionless has absolutely been heavily influenced by Benjamin Burley's vocal takes as every clean chorus he writes, could be on either Phobia or Dear Agony by the aforementioned band. Masterpiece though is not just a BB cover, it's also a masterpiece. It brought the band a place as nr. 1. on the Mainstream Rock Airplay, being their biggest achievement since 2013. They absolutely deserve it, as the song and the whole album works greatly as a getaway drug to metalcore and metal in general. MIW, BMTH, Bad Omens and Architects are absolutely today's Linkin Parks and Slipknots as far as spreading heavy music goes.

5. The Foundations of Decay by My Chemical Romance

This song was the biggest surprise release of the year for me. Not just because we haven't got a new official release from the band in nearly a decade (except the rerelease of The Black Parade and Fake Your Death from their best of album), but because the song really really differs from the last official album of MCR. Danger Days was almost a pop record with bangers all around and TFOD compared to this is like a completely different band, reminiscing on the eras way before The Black Parade, their most successful record yet. The production of this song is the only questionable thing about it, the vocals are really low-mixed, the guitars however are as punk and grungy as it gets. It even has a breakdown. Very nice surprise from Gerard and the boys.

4. Strangers by Bring Me The Horizon

Whoever knows me knows that I'm a huge fan of BMTH. I love everything they've done from amo to Count Your Blessings. They're the only band in the scene that dictate the current style of metalcore writing and producing. The songwriting duo of Jordan Fish and Oli Sykes is unquestionably one of the best at ther job in the past like 20 years, they can do whatever the fuck they want to do with music and people are gonna enjoy it. With the Post Human EP series they celebrate genres they love and pay homage to them by mixing them with their own style. This is what happened in their last EP, Survival Horror as well. Back then they chose NU metal for the style. Right now in this album cycle this style is emo. With both singles heavily influenced by emo bands, Strangers stood out for me because of the unexpected 6/8 time signature. Brings me back to the good old days with Brand New and Taking Back Sunday on repeat.

3. Anabolic Spudsman (thique edition) by Bilmuri feat Will Ramos and Spencer Stewart

This song is probably the most random entry on this list. I'm very surprised Bilmuri is not mentioned as one of the most innovative bands of the scene right now. This song is so unexpected and fun that I can't even categorize it in a genre. Or multiple. This song is all over the place. It has a really catchy verse and pop-ish vibes, well, except the current king of deathore himself Will Ramos is serving his time as the backing vocalist in the meanwhile. The chorus would fit in a Billboard Nr. 1. song, it's that poppy. Then around 2 minutes the breakdown hits, Will screams our butts off, aaaand we're back to the pop vocals for the rest of the bridge. Then the biggest surprise, a fucking saxophone solo. This song is amazingly unexpected, well-written and all over the place, I love it.

2. Call Me Little Sunshine by Ghost

Yes I have to mention Ghost. Impera was released in March and was on repeat for me for the rest of the year. The first single Call Me Little Sunshine was never skipped. The guitar riff reminded me of their song Cirice, the lyrical theme of course was about Satan, who else, and the production was raised to the next level by Papa and the Ghouls. The live version featuring the Ghoulettes' backing vocals is even better than the album edit. The rest of the album is great as well, honorable mentions are Spillways, Respite on the Spitalfields and Kaiserion. With this easy to play doomy song they showed that there's still that edge in them despite growing more popular with each release (Looking at you tiktokers listening to Mary On A Cross).

Pain Remains (I-II-III) by Lorna Shore

Technically my first place is 3 songs in one. This is gonna be the longest song review so bare with me. Lorna Shore has been around for a while with multiple vocalist and several other member changes. They never stood out for me from the crowd, as I've never been the biggest deathcore fan myself. But I have to admit, the whole record Pain Remains singlehandedly saved deathcore overnight for me. Obviously they needed a charismatic new frontman, a couple of catchy symphonic elements (which were always there but were left ignored by me for some reason) and reaction channels and tiktok hyping up their upcoming album. When the first Pain Remains was released, I thought I was witnessing history being written. It was a freaking deathcore ballad, with more genuine emotions than the When We Were Young festival's whole lineup. The videos are also well made and tell a story about a man losing his lover which causes him to go down on a depressive spiral, ultimately ending his own life. The trilogy has also several callbacks to itself. Dancing Like Flames' fire comes back in the third act, In A Sea Of FIre as the fire that burns down our protagonist's house and life with all of his memories about his love. The most disturbing one is the second act, After All That I've Done, I Disappear, where he tries to end his own life right next to his wife's casket after her funeral, but failing in the end. The first 2 songs have solved the whole genre's only problem for me, which was the lack of emotion and genuineness. The raw emotion in the 'A World Without You Is Not Meant For Me' scream has me shivering every time I hear it. They made a truly amazing record with Pain Remains and I really hope they continue to do so with similar projects in the future.

[sapphire-weapon]

Favorite ships in RE verse (Remake included)? Ik you like Ashley/Leon so feel free to scream about them. I'm also curious to know if you have any ships among the side characters.

oof. aight. so.

Leon/Ashley is the only "real" RE ship that I have, in the sense that it's the only one that I actively create and seek out content for. I'll go into the whys and hows of that a little later, but. In case anyone was curious why I go so hard for Leon/Ashley --

Actually. When I reblogged this post initially, I almost tagged it as #WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I SHIP LEON/ASHLEY #THIS IS WHY

I restrained myself because I don't like doing that to other ppl's posts, but. It's a pretty accurate representation of what drew me to the ship initially 18 years ago. Queen/Knight ships are my absolute favorite dynamic for a ship ever ever ever ever. Hands down. No contest. And what are these two -- especially in OG -- if not that?

My second favorite kind of ship? Doomed ones. Missed opportunity ones. "If only things were different" ones. "Our roles in each other's lives will never allow this to happen" ones.

And that's also them.

Real talk? I would actually like the ship way less if I thought for a second that there was a chance that Leon and Ashley could/would actually get together in canon. I'd still like it, but not nearly as much. (which is why it's really funny when people try to be like "it'll never be canon" YEAH NO SHIT I HOPE IT NEVER IS)

So I was cursed to fall super hard for this ship from day one. Like, there wasn't even a chance in hell I wasn't going to ship these two. No other two characters in this series have a dynamic that's even kind of similar to this.

And then the remake happened and it poured even more of the shit I already liked about it on top of what was already there and I was like "mmm yes it's delicious thank u capcom"

So that's my whole thing with those two.

And outside of those two? Well.

Back in the days of early RE fandom, we were so small and so starved for fan content that it was commonplace for people to read fics for ships that they didn't care about or even like lmao. I once read like 80,000 words of a Wesker/Leon fic because that was all I could fucking find that I hadn't read yet (and also wasn't weird monster dog porn -- late 90s/early 00s RE fandom was fucking weird ok).

Those early fandom days were also kind of magical, though, because so much of the canon was wide open to so many different ships and interpretations and scenarios. Like, as time has gone on and RE has grown larger and larger, the world of RE has started to feel smaller and smaller. It's way way WAY harder to write a canon-compliant fic these days, because there's so many moving parts to the story now, and a lot of details have been cemented in place that never used to be there.

Like, it's rad that the canon has so much to consume in it. But it sucks because it feels restrictive as a result.

So, like.

I have actually written fics for so many different, random ships over my 25 years in this fandom, because this fandom used to be more of like a... swap meet, sort of? Where we'd all just take requests from each other and write fics for each other and share them around -- because the fandom was so, so goddamn small back in the day.

I have actually written fics for:

Leon/Ashley (of course)

Leon/Claire

Leon/Luis

Chris/Jill

Chris/Rebecca (seriously)

Chris/Leon

Steve/Claire

Billy/Rebecca

Wesker/Ada (this one was fun, actually. I'd fuck with this one again)

Of course, there were people who were ride-or-die OTP folks (though this actually didn't get really bad or become any sort of real majority in the fandom until after RE4's release, and that's only because RE4 just dumped so much gasoline on the Aeon vs Cleon war holy fuck. RE fandom became a fuckin minefield after RE4), but a lot of us really just dabbled in a bit of everything. So I never really got like... super attached to any one ship, if that makes sense?

There is actually something very nostalgic about Leon/Claire for me, if you can believe it, because the ship was only viable until about the time of Degeneration, so we're going way back. That movie made it very clear that these two were not at all going to stay as active parts of each other's lives, so the ship basically died upon its release.

But prior to that? That was one of THE BIG SHIPS in the fandom. So, the vast majority of fics that I wrote back in the swap meet days were Leon/Claire, because the majority of my fandom friends fell more on the Cleon side of things.

Today, I don't like where their dynamic has gone in later canon. There's nothing there anymore, and I've lost all interest in it.

But... at the same time... when RE2make happened, it was something I thought about revisiting just for old time's sake. I haven't pulled the trigger on it yet, but I do still think about it from time to time. Maybe I'll actually go ahead and do the thing one of these days, now that I'm back in the habit of writing RE fic again.

But anyway.

The point is. Any side ships I have, I really just enjoy in passing. Like, if I see nice art of Chris/Jill or Billy/Rebecca I'll definitely reblog it because I do enjoy it, but I have never even one time gone out of my way to find it or any fics of them. Most of my contributions to side ships are thinkpieces and meta analysis.

Leon/Chris is one of the ships that I've done deep dive meta analysis for -- and half of that was just to piss off fanboys who were already mad about RE6 to begin with, because those fuckers made the fandom UNBEARABLE in the early 2010s -- but I still don't go super hard for them.

Same thing with Remake-verse Leon/Luis. I've done meta for them because people have asked me for it, and I do find their new dynamic absolutely fascinating from a literary/storytelling standpoint. They're another ship I do enjoy, but... again, mostly in passing.

So. idk if this actually answered your question. RE ships are just kind of a weird topic for me in general most of the time, because I went so, so, so long just looking at characters' individual arcs as opposed to engaging in actual ship content.

I've talked about this a little before, but I did go through that period (around 10 years) where I tried to pass it off that I had no ships in order to seem like an "objective" source for canon information (which, in hindsight, is so fucking stupid because I could've just done what I'm doing now and kept objective facts about the series/canon differentiated from my ship shit, but w/e), so in those 10 years, I didn't really engage with RE ships, like, at all.

So now I'm just kind of at the point of "dude whatever idc as long as we're all having fun."

[lunar-wandering]

i've decided that, in reference to Glitxed, that it actually is connected to ANOTHER story of mine- the Cyber Thunder Cider-verse, in that, it happens centuries after it.

i mean, it makes sense. in Cyber Thunder Cider, the very first man-made android (Joule) is created. and, also within the same story, they discover an alien android (Torch) that was built centuries in the past to observe Earth and protect it.

considering both androids and aliens are story points in Glitxed, it totally works to connect the two.

i could have it be that like. the reason why the androids prior to the most recent z-models had such random power systems (ones that included gasoline, or steam, etc), is because so much time had passed since Joule's existence, that people didn't know how he had been powered anymore, and tried to come up with solutions on their own.

technically, Joule was powered by electricity, so, in the end, the electric grid that all robots are hooked up to does work. but what the people in the modern day of this story don't know, is that Joule was powered by alien electricity- and was usually re-powered by the half-alien kids he stayed with.

what's fun though is that, although lightning bolts recharge him... Access is also powered by alien electricity.

too bad there's no half aliens, or just outright aliens, around anymore.... probably

[katyldamusic]

I finally had some time to listen to RUSH!

In general I like it. However.... my thoughts:

- I'm here for upbeat rock songs I can dance to!

- is it just me or the vocal production on some of the English songs sounds off? I really do not like effects on Damiano's voice. Seriously, wtf? The guy sounds amazing live. No doubt about it and someone thought it'll be a great idea to hide his vocals under fuckload of sound effects. Really? Whoever produced it should consider career change. When Supermodel was released I went on a rant about vocal production on it and here we are again....

- I like the fact that we can clearly hear Vic's bass. It's usually the guitar that shines. In fact musically I really, really like it. Someone can write songs these days and we CAN hear real instruments. (with the exception on supermodel imo).

- I'm honestly suprised they didn't manage to squeeze verse about cocaine into the loneliest... I feel like Damiano is still a little bitter about esc incident and while writing new songs he thought "You want dr*gs? I SHALL GIVE YOU THE DR*GS!"

- in the battle of the two upbeat radio singles between Supermodel and Gossip there can only be one winner - Gossip. I had it on repeat since it came out.

- "own my mind" is a great opener. "Supermodel", if it needs to be on this record, belongs in the first half. "The loneliest" would be way better closer.

- italian songs squished together between English ones - weird. Just weird. And I like these songs. But did I already said it feels weird? Because it does.

- "kool kids" will be a definitive skip for me. I get the musical reference. I get where the inspiration came from but the vocal production repuls me. If I hear live version in decent quality I might revisit my thoughts, but if it wasn't on the album I wouldn't care two shitts.

- least favourite: Kool Kids

- meh: Bla Bla Bla, Supermodel

- favourites: Own My Mind, Gossip, Baby Said, Gasoline, Don't Wanna Sleep, Read Your Diary, La Fine, The Loneliest.

[sionisjaune]

your wip list had so many amazing sounding titles but you know my eyes were immediately drawn to one: directly to the sun (charles/damianos)!!!!!!!

WIP game

It's you and me and charles/damiano against the world!!! I can do nothing more but grant your humble request. These are the imaginary lyrics to the rock ballad Damiano writes for Charles and performs at the end of the fic:

Verse You scream so pretty when you crash, crash, crash You're so beautiful when your dreams turn to ash I wanna kiss you when you cry, cry, cry Ruin my makeup, baby I don't mind

Pre-chorus One day I'll write you a never-ending song You can take it with you when you drive into the dawn Baby wear my pearls and I'll drink your gasoline I'm begging take me with you, can we take this to the streets?

Chorus Kiss per hour You're just faster Than the others Be my lover

[obsidiancreates]

-petpet- Hope you’re getting good rest and feeling a bit better today! 😴👍

Descendants of the Trio AU:

For your comical entertainment, consider if the sibling squad (Space, Illinois, Heist, Date + Yancy) ried to prepare an elegant dinner at the Manor. Together. It could’ve been for a holiday or just something done on the fly. “Brotherly bonding.”

Oh, how about for Eric’s birthday? If anyone could unite for a cause, it would be for Eric.

Picture Heist and Illinois competitively cooking but getting nowhere in putting anything on the table. They often forget about the food, because they’re too busy criticizing and critiquing the other’s technique. (Heist did make a pretty decent breakfast in HWM, but Illinois exploring the world may have made him feel a bit educated in terms of cuisine. On Illy’s own, he feels like a Kraft Mac ‘N Cheese kinda guy, but you can’t tell me that the man doesn’t know fine spices from all the mummy tombs he’s explored.)—Everything’s debated: Salt-pepper ratios, what to season your pan with, which ingredients are acceptable in a dish, etc. 

Space has to take charge by giving Heist and Illinois a recipe book of various things (per Eric’s preferences) to stop their bickering if they were to get anything done.

Date is in charge of decor. Maybe that ability to make romantic items appear becomes useful…Maybe it doesn’t. If he has to go to the store, it’ll be with borrowed money. Of course. (I wonder if Dark gave the boys specialized ‘Markiplier Inc.’ credit cards in case of an emergency.)

Yancy inherits Wilford’s ability and fondness for baking, so he’s got it covered for the birthday cake and desserts. Something about the  camaraderie makes him feel nostalgic for doing these sorts of things for his prison fam, so he’s having a blast! (I like to picture Yancy would always be a little awed to work with /actual/ fresh ingredients—like fruit.) Just hopefully, he’s well-versed with /modern/ kitchen appliances, you know? I’d think he’d be more comfortable with gasoline stoves and ovens than the electric ones.

Space is busy making sure the Manor doesn’t burn down and ensures everything is put together in time. He hadn’t felt this much urge to have his fire extinguisher ready in a very, very long time. Definitely feeling the stress of his father to keep the boys on task without property damage.

No, Dark doesn’t know a thing about anything of this. So, when he enters the Manor with Eric—It’s a bit of a surprise for him too.

—Melody anon

*bumps head into the pets like a cat* :D Thank you! I do feel better, got a little sleep last night this time XD

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE IDEAAAAAAA

I think Ego Manor has older appliances honestly, because half the people there still struggle with what a Flip-phone is sometimes. So Yancy should be very comfortable!

Date's ability helps a little bit, probably. Eric likes flowers, so those are easy, and he can probably get tablecloths and napkins folded into animals and stuff like that. But for streamer and such, has to go to the store (he does indeed have a Family Credit Card, most of the money comes from Bim's shows and The Googles getting money in in various ways, from Stock Market to straight-up hacking banks)

Space has a new respect for The Captain after this XD He had already respected them anyway but now it's tripled.

Heist and Illinois for sure burn everything before Space takes over XD Burn or undercooked trying to get done faster than the other. Probably they both somehow curse a dish by accident too. Stop playing with mysterious ancient items, boys!

Dark doesn't know how to react at first, and then hears Space organized it all and the next day gives Space a pair of his old cufflinks from when he was mayor. "I noticed you needed them when you wore that suit last night," is all he says about it.

He's very proud.

[baekhvuns]

Hellaaaaaauuuur, I'm in Taiwan, but I'm going home soon :/

So CBX, I'm glad they won, but I'm also confused about the whole thing, it's awkward af to be working with people you sued ajgghshgajaasgsdgsd also I wouldn't trust SM, but I hope everything improves and works out well. Baek said to trust him, so there's nothing we can say since we don't know all the details

Omfg, have you seen Shinee in Thom Browne, I can't believe Minho and Jinki are the ones serving skirts??? makes me even sadder Jinki won't be promoting. But heeeeey Shinee variety shows!!!

Baek ILY you came with a whole ass Powerpoint presentation on Ateez's lack of good photos <3333 I feel like I'm nitpicking sometimes, but I genuinely care about the pictures especially if I'm buying albums. I bought so many from artists I don't stan because of the photobooks. TXT for example, I bought two of their albums before I even got into them, because WOW same with NCT. And they don't even need to try that hard, like I said before: some of the pics members post on SNS are much better, wtf??? Very true on the settings + clothes combo, sometimes the colours are so off it makes the photos look even more lacklustre... they rely on members' looks, but they still edit them to the point of the boys looking strange :( Like https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1669978356861874176?t=MOHn2peZLBCxzCiWmfTMAA&s=19 and https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1669972664046469123?t=6JuN7g_tRmtkZ2jJofzqLA&s=19 - he looks hot, but come on. This https://twitter.com/pshsource/status/1670647944469696512?t=7ewg9ktCAqqyvfKprFNCBg&s=19 is better, and the lil ponytail is cool, but again it's because HWA IS A MODEL

Now onto the album, yeah it's like Movement and I feel the same about it, except Outlaw doesn't have Cyberpunk <3 each song has cool parts, but they blend together too much. Can't even tell which one is my fave honestly, I still cannot distinguish all of them based on the verses. I haven't listened to the album a ton, because I didn't have time also the album is kinda an assualt on my senses 😭. Coming from me - noise music lover, lmao. Bouncy grew on me, it's catchy, I'd rather if Ateez gave me something else, but it's the only track that's different

Bestie my bff/flatmate met Yuta in Paris and hopefully she meets TY too, but FUCK PARIS!!! This video lowkey reminds me of our meeting, so fucking random https://twitter.com/yutpeu/status/1670738437585108993?s=20

Anyways, you're right Yuta is a great actor, the difference between that movie he did and his current drama is soooooo 😂😂😂 and the fact so many people don't know his voice and claim he can't sing, but he can do this https://youtube.com/shorts/YcuQlxS3hjA?feature=share4 !? 127 has a lot of singers and not enough singing lines, their line up never made sense to me. Like Jaehyun is a good singer with nice vocal tone, not a fucking rapper, STOP IT. I think they'd benefit from having another proper rapper instead of so many vocalists. 2 Baddies is questionable, but Yuta's "fill up the tank pour gasoline on me rah"??? Okay rockstar!

Speaking of Jamal Jeong, this https://twitter.com/jaehyunpetals/status/1669874106874073088?s=20 video is so fucking funny I've been laughing at it for days and not Troye pulling him also?! Have you seen the vid where Troye tells him he was born in South Africa and Jaehyun literally has his "if you're from Africa then why are you white" moment, I CANNOT

Hoooooold ooooon the challenges, first Taeyong x Felix, now Taeyong with Woo and Yunho. The universe knew I'd die if it was Hwa, lol

Can we talk about Hwa's room??? He did not dissapoint me, the only one so far who has a room with some personality, not just b&w hotel look (soz WooSan) or a literal man cave (Yunho). His room is gamer nerd aesthetic x high fashion girlie DID YOU SEE THE YSL STUFF???? ANTHONY VACARELLO WHERE IS HIS SHOW INVITE THEN. The Folklore vinyl made me laugh, I won't comment, but it's a crime his room is so small :///

BODYGUARD ANNIVERSARY SOON WTF?!?!

And wdym HWA AND SAN WENT TO DINNER WITH KAI AND WE WEREN'T THERE

Wow, I'm so normal... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1670391008151109632?s=20

He is so great and amazing and spectacular https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1670014890969292804?s=20 - DV 💖

hello!!

Hellaaaaaauuuur, I'm in Taiwan, but I'm going home soon :/ /// So CBX, I'm glad they won, but I'm also confused about the whole thing, it's awkward af to be working with people you sued ajgghshgajaasgsdgsd also I wouldn't trust SM, but I hope everything improves and works out well. Baek said to trust him, so there's nothing we can say since we don't know all the details

HELLOOOO LMFAOOO BACK TO BRITAIN 😭😭😭😭😭😭 i think this is like the first time sm backed off??? no bc some ppl are not able to read,,, im vv glad they have an agreement and now will change things on their contracts, not only theirs but potentially everyone at sm will now have a chance to change those contract terms now,,, cbx really became sm’s character development??? im also hoping they weren’t threatened into this,, but as long as baekhyun says it’s fine then it must be, he’s the lawyer i just hope he isn’t be scrutinized and singled out 😭😭😭 AT LEAST WE ARE GETTING THE COME BACK??? ALL THE PRODUCERS ARE SO EXCITED AND ITS MAKING ME SCREAM BC ANON THIS????

do u hear this (put the volume up rly loud) that baekhyun siren call oMG???? ANON ALL THE BEST OLD SM PRODUCERS ARE COMING BACK??? THAT SIREN CALL??? the way im gonna buy this album the minute they drop the photos omg anon u will not hear the end of me talking about their voices ALL THE SM HIT MAKERS BMWDJWK

Omfg, have you seen Shinee in Thom Browne, I can't believe Minho and Jinki are the ones serving skirts??? makes me even sadder Jinki won't be promoting. But heeeeey Shinee variety shows!!!


I DID AND IM SO PUMPED??) THE STYLING AND THE TEASER PHOTOS?? TAEMIN BACK TO SKUNK HAIR AND HIS FRECKLES??? OH LORD SM BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THAT ART,,, see it’s so simple but the depth?? the filter?? wowzie BUT YES SHINEE SHOWS!!! im also quite upset about that but i hope kibum does a ending fairy w onew’s face in it 🤲🏻🤲🏻

Baek ILY you came with a whole ass Powerpoint presentation on Ateez's lack of good photos <3333 I feel like I'm nitpicking sometimes, but I genuinely care about the pictures especially if I'm buying albums. I bought so many from artists I don't stan because of the photobooks. TXT for example, I bought two of their albums before I even got into them, because WOW same with NCT. And they don't even need to try that hard, like I said before: some of the pics members post on SNS are much better, wtf??? Very true on the settings + clothes combo, sometimes the colours are so off it makes the photos look even more lacklustre... they rely on members' looks, but they still edit them to the point of the boys looking strange :( Like https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1669978356861874176?t=MOHn2peZLBCxzCiWmfTMAA&s=19 and  https://twitter.com/hwalilac/status/1669972664046469123?t=6JuN7g_tRmtkZ2jJofzqLA&s=19 - he looks hot, but come on. This https://twitter.com/pshsource/status/1670647944469696512?t=7ewg9ktCAqqyvfKprFNCBg&s=19 is better, and the lil ponytail is cool, but again it's because HWA IS A MODEL

NO BC I WAS SO FURIOUS I WANT BETTER PHOTOS 😭😭😭😭 right! like it really matters when a photobook is very pretty,, sometimes i don’t even like the songs but the photobook? im buying it. it’s like a magazine collection for me fbenjck nct’s resonance album was the definition of simple but it was so pretty to look at?? a whole magazine style,,, THE NCT SEOUL CITY ONE IS JUST TO BEAUTIFUL !!!! no bc they really do post better on social media,,, petition for booba to do their actual album’s photo books !! ur right, the clothes are like the same colour as the bland background which just fades them out plus the extra photoshop on their lips that DISAPPEAR???? idk if u saw but i was looking thru the deja vu san photos,,, i think they made his nose longer? i think it may just’ve been me but when i first saw it it’s all i could think off,, those photos with the wire have sO much potential like PUT SOME FILTERS LETS NOT MAKE IT BLAND, USE CYBER CORE LIKE ITS THE PERFECT TIME??? like zoom into some random part of their face,, like just show us art 😭😭

honestly that orange ones are so pretty, i wish they did something like that!! i made a another one that i wish was the aesthetic / theme for this comeback,,, cyber core ateez pls 😭😭

Now onto the album, yeah it's like Movement and I feel the same about it, except Outlaw doesn't have Cyberpunk <3 each song has cool parts, but they blend together too much. Can't even tell which one is my fave honestly, I still cannot distinguish all of them based on the verses. I haven't listened to the album a ton, because I didn't have time also the album is kinda an assualt on my senses 😭. Coming from me - noise music lover, lmao. Bouncy grew on me, it's catchy, I'd rather if Ateez gave me something else, but it's the only track that's different

each song does have some pretty good parts,, i also cannot distinguish between them.. they seem very cohesive to each other in a sense if u finish one song u don’t even know u finished it bc the next one correlates to the one u just finished,, ASSAULT TO MY SENSES FBWMDBWMBDWKBDKWHDWKHDKWJDKW LMFAOOOO bouncy grew on me too bc i be doing that dance challenge every second <3

Bestie my bff/flatmate met Yuta in Paris and hopefully she meets TY too, but FUCK PARIS!!! This video lowkey reminds me of our meeting, so fucking random https://twitter.com/yutpeu/status/1670738437585108993?s=20

FUCK????? ARE U ALL HAVING A YUTA MEET UP WITHOUT ME???? FUCK ???? WHEN IS JT MY FUCKING TURN FBWKFHWKJDKS STOP U LIVED A WHOLE KDRAMA 😭😭😭

Anyways, you're right Yuta is a great actor, the difference between that movie he did and his current drama is soooooo 😂😂😂 and the fact so many people don't know his voice and claim he can't sing, but he can do this https://youtube.com/shorts/YcuQlxS3hjA?feature=share4 !? 127 has a lot of singers and not enough singing lines, their line up never made sense to me. Like Jaehyun is a good singer with nice vocal tone, not a fucking rapper, STOP IT. I think they'd benefit from having another proper rapper instead of so many vocalists. 2 Baddies is questionable, but Yuta's "fill up the tank pour gasoline on me rah"??? Okay rockstar!

RIGHT!! the movie it fit him so well, like his sharp features just make it even better ??? sm get him into movies??? NOOO LITERALLY LIKE ME TOO I FORGOT HOW HE EVEN SOUNDS LIKE BC THEY DONT EVEN GIVE HIM LINES,,, that’s the problem w nct like u guys have some of the best vocalists in the industry but the songs are too small or the lines are just not being given fbwndbsn RIGHT HE IS HE IS !!! HE SINGS SOOOO PRETTILY PLS LEAVE THE RAPPER TO MARK 😭😭😭 the rAH GOT ME FBANBDKS

Speaking of Jamal Jeong, this https://twitter.com/jaehyunpetals/status/1669874106874073088?s=20 video is so fucking funny I've been laughing at it for days and not Troye pulling him also?! Have you seen the vid where Troye tells him he was born in South Africa and Jaehyun literally has his "if you're from Africa then why are you white" moment, I CANNOT

JAMAL 😭😭😭😭😭 LMFAOOOO I LOVE KPOP LIKE THIS FBEKFBKW saw a twt that said “how u whiter than a white guy” I SCREAMED FHWKFHWKDHWK

Hoooooold ooooon the challenges, first Taeyong x Felix, now Taeyong with Woo and Yunho. The universe knew I'd die if it was Hwa, lol /// Can we talk about Hwa's room??? He did not dissapoint me, the only one so far who has a room with some personality, not just b&w hotel look (soz WooSan) or a literal man cave (Yunho). His room is gamer nerd aesthetic x high fashion girlie DID YOU SEE THE YSL STUFF???? ANTHONY VACARELLO WHERE IS HIS SHOW INVITE THEN. The Folklore vinyl made me laugh, I won't comment, but it's a crime his room is so small :///

THESE CHALLENGES ATE !!!!! THE TAEYONG ONE FHWKHDKW SCREAMED we could’ve had a kai x hwa x san…..

HE DID NOT DISAPPOINT AT ALL HES SO COMMITTED TO THAT CLEAN GIRL GAMER FBWKDHSK I SAW THE YSL STUFF HE’S ALSO MANIFESTING IT AND SO ARE WE !!!! he’s a swiftie….oh he will go when she comes to sk

san is me in hwa’s room

BODYGUARD ANNIVERSARY SOON WTF?!?! //// And wdym HWA AND SAN WENT TO DINNER WITH KAI AND WE WEREN'T THERE

DONT REMIND ME I WILL DROP THE TEASER THIS WEEK AFTER MY MIDTERMS 🫡🫡 FBWMDBWMDBKW AND WE WERENT THERE??? HOW DARE THEM?? no bc what would they talk about like kai would not speak a word if not spoken too 😭😭😭 these introverts pls LIKE???

Wow, I'm so normal... https://twitter.com/MAS_43ver/status/1670391008151109632?s=20 /// He is so great and amazing and spectacular https://twitter.com/shinestarnation/status/1670014890969292804?s=20 - DV 💖

wow. i just did not let out a shrill.

AANDDD??? THIS LINKUP???

and this titanic thing??? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND omf they must be mf terrified to be in their, in the dark alone in the water so deep like 😭😭 & like i did not know titanic was that close to canada like damn??? the submarine may have been imploded or flooded?? but they heard knocks from the ocean,,, like omg i hope they find them bc the oxygen is running out,, 40 hours of life support left i desperately hope they find them bc they 19yo kid in it got a whole life ahead omg 😭😭😭 ppl on twt saying titanic still taking lives 😭😭 i hope w some miracle they’re all alive ,,,, imagine them rn in that ocean thinking while we all just sit in our rooms seeing this,, it’s so unsettling my fear of the ocean skyrocketing <33

😀😀

😧😧 LMFAOOO

😶😶

[frizzy-frizz-frizz]

Okay this is about to be long and I'm very sorry about it

Two birds is so sad but like who is the other bird??? I'm leaning towards jean kind of

AND YES I listened to the melodrama album the same time as I read aftg so liability and Kevin became so so linked in my head like "the only love i haven't screwed up she's so hard to please...one girl swaying alone stroking her cheek" LIKE that one line where Neil is like Kevin is harder on himself than anyone else

Wait for it has only recently been linked to Kevin in my head but "my mother was a genius my father commanded success" "a legacy to protect" also hamilton in this song would be Neil and it works so well??? Dorothea is so very Kevin i don't know who's singing the song it could be andrew/neil/jean but the song's subject?? "a queen selling dreams" "A tiny screen's the only place I see you now" So glad you enjoyed them

Every marina song you mentioned is so so him I agree with every choice like take oh no and are you satisfied and shake them together and you get him at like rock bottom

Also GASOLINE??? like I know the song I was obsessed with badlands but with him???? "Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me???" "You're part of a machine, you are not a human being

With your face all made up, living on a screen" DO I EVEN HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING THIS SONG WILL BE ON REPEAT FOR A WHILE HOLY SHIT

Afraid?? "When I wake up, I'm afraid

Somebody else might take my place" oh my god?? "And if you leave me, then I'll be afraid of everything" him with andrew??? Hello I cannot take this

Prom queen?? "Turned her tears to diamonds in her crown" got his hand broken and then learned to play with both hands?? Who does it like him??? And then "Dissect my insecurities I'm a defect, surgical project It's getting hard to breathe There's plastic wrap in my cheeks" im obsessed guy grew up in the public eye that's gonna fuck him up so

I can't even pick one line from dare you to doubt me the entire song works so well for him

I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED LISTENING TO THE PLAYLIST YET

Young gods from badlands also works if its before he joined the foxes I think

The greatest by sia is so him

Also Gold Rush by taylor swift was actually written for him

The got away from me entirely I'm so sorry

NO NO ITS OKAY you dont need to apologise its such a pleasure to read text walls like this thank you so much :))

(okay this got long i'll put a line break)

Two birds is a kevjean song in my heart cause its just- kevin and jean are so intrinsically tied together, they know each other first and foremost. but the curx of the matter is that kevin had to leave and jean couldnt.

"There's nothing I wont understand" and "I won't let go of your hand" followed by the main verse where kevin is still trying to escape the 'wire' while jean is fixed in place. and they're forced to watch each other from their positions.

and you just know that as kids they swore they'd stay together but the truth is, toward the end of the books, with everything between then they might never play on the same team again. and that is where the song ends almost as abruptly as the books, leaving kevin and jean to build new relationship from the ashes of what they used to have

IM SORRY I JUST HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS ON THIS

"everybody wonders what it would be like to love you" UM?? "what must it be like to grow up that beautiful" this is so him im sobbing. Kevin who grew up in the public image, future of exy, commodified at birth. (Also is it just me or does it feel like neil josten, 'demisexual who never really understood his own attraction' is listening to this while making a kevin day binder on the run?)

I NEED a compilations of close up shots of kevin in the ravens vs foxes game to "the greatest". Seeing him score with his left hand to it would be euphoric. I just know it. oh to be a random exy fan in the aftg universe.

And I've had Dorothea on repeat cause "are you the soul I met under the bleachers?" NEIL REMEMBERING WHAT KEVIN WAS LIKE AS A KID. "......known for who you know, you know you'll always know me". THIS. So many thoughts. so many. I'm screaming its perfect.

ALSO! CONSIDER: "Through the Ghost" by shinedown. the singer wrote it like speaking to his own reflection. "the world will never know you like I do" ITS SO KEVIN I THINK

IM SO GLAD YOU'RE ENJOYING THE PLAYLIST

yes yes you could tell me that kevin day himself wrote 'dare you to doubt me' and 'afraid' and 'believe' and I wouldnt disagree

wow this got long