#Oh but a clownery would just be a circus no?

[starpros-sunshine]

I'm sorry friends I am not doing a very good job at the clownery right now do you still think I'm hot?

[kaiasky]

What was your salvia experience like?

Interesting. Drug talk under the cut.

I wouldn't recommend salvia w/o like, considering if it is Right For You, because I know a number of people who've had absolutely abysmal times with it, even when done in good conditions. That said, I personally really enjoyed it and never had a bad experience with it the ~10 times I did it (usually a few trips per night). I stopped doing it for the same "hmm, I feel like my beliefs are getting disconnected from reality and I don't want to continue that" reason I stopped doing other drugs.

I'm going to paste some shit that i wrote after the first time i did salvia, because i think it's really funny how unhelpful it is, and then I'll try and explain those more. This was written October 2021 after a night of taking hits of 5x concentrated salvia, and as you'll be able to tell i was fully in the swing of Narrative Bullshit:

---

I'm not a fan of smoking any drug but. salvia smoke is hot and sucks. [AN: would highly recommend a bubbler of medium size to cool down the smoke.]

It's not a particularly euphoric high, so it definitely feels like it could be bad if you have bad trips. I think the easy way to think of it is, it's basically whippits but for ur brain instead of ur body. [AN: e.g, disassociative feelings]

The body high is a heavy feeling--you could move your body if you had to, but why would you? wouldn't it be better to drift away? It's pretty easy to trip kill by moving a bit. Touch, motion keeps you grounded, so if you want to come down you just wiggle your fingers, touch the world around you. if you want to get high you get comfy and relax. It feels pretty controllable, like I've pulled the ripcord a few times when I wanted the feelings to chill out a bit, which is pretty nice (compared to like acid you can't "get normal" at will, and why I don't think lighter doses would particularly need/benefit from tripsitting. Bear in mind that this may not be a universal experience idk)

[AN: Borderline effects: hands shaking, colors look flat, a strong urge to sit down and close your eyes. When I tried taking a dose and then keeping my eyes open, I just felt kinda weird and uncomfortable for a minute.]

[AN: with eyes closed:] Geometry folds in on itself and a strong feeling of being pulled sideways or backwards, wheeling around, or your body sorta smearing away from you.

Alright. we gotta talk about the clowns. Clowns and other circus performers do make an appearance, as advertised, but classy clowns, not scary ones. I think that's why people in trip reports call them jesters, but it's definitely a circus vibe imo. I don't really know why but like. it feels deeply correct that this is the clown drug. I know that sounds fucking stupid.

The feeling is very much about performing and interstitial states, and verbs being the base thing of existence (like. Normally you can have man, and you can have a man running. But what if instead, you could have "running" and "a man running" but not really "a man" without a verb) That's why clowns are so good because they highlight that existence is performance that "to be" is a verb with many layers. To be a clown (noun) is indistinguishable from clownery (verb).

If don't particularly approve of the gender politics of salvia.

Very common to feel like "oh I need to tell xyz" but multiple layers of people who need to be told things. (I need to tell yall about telling the narrator about telling the wind about the eternal farmers I saw, spinning their merry way around the field of the universe).

Sensory experiences feeling fresh and new. The comedown is full of feeling sensory things and thinking "I was maybe put on earth to think about touching carpet, this is what I am for, born anew as I am now, to explore the carpet and to tell myself about the experience of touching the carpet. And to tell myself a story about how I was put on earth to touch carpet."

Acid music isn't as good, it just feels so complicated that my brain tuned it out. I think simple music that carries you along narratively is what you want--soundtrack music and stuff.

Obviously like. These are impossible to separate from what I expect of salvia and who I am as a person so take with a heavy grain of salt. Narrativizing myself is a very me thing, clowns is something I read online to expect.

---

So yeah. I think the biggest effect was feeling "lost" from myself and getting totally engrossed in what felt like many layers of a story. As an example like, I see a book unfolding and the pages start telling me a story of a fisherwoman on a lake, and she gazes into the lake and sees a delinquent teen smoking on a park bench, and the teen dreams of a giant switchboard that's alive. and the giant switchboard feels something grand and incredible and it [me] wants to hold onto it. we need to tell this to our husband when we get home from fishing--no wait, our friends at high school--no wait, who are we again??

It is definitely less euphoric than a serotonin psychedelic. As a baseline I'm uncontrollably euphoric on acid, and the pervading emotion of salvia for me was a kind of beautiful, contemplative melancholy. the dark souls of drugs, thematically. I would expect that if you're baseline less-of-a-happy-camper on other psychedelics then salvia might just be extremely unpleasant without the beauty or contemplation feelings.

Physically, it was a mix between stunningly pleasant and strikingly uncomfortable. The feeling of 'getting pulled apart' or 'reality flipping inside out' can be extremely weird and off-putting OR kinda exhilarating, but I liked the heavy relaxed feeling a lot.

The visuals salvia were really interesting to me. They're less detailed and pattern-y than a classical psychedelic (less whirling patterns and fractals) and more dreamlike. A lot of soaring over a landscape, or drastic changes of scale. It felt like I could control them the same way you might be able to lucid dream, by making 'suggestions' that my brain could run with. "We're zooming down endless green hills [conscious thought: but what's that? a castle on the horizon?!] we zoom into the castle, across it's countless parapets and towers, and into..."

(I'm happy to expand on anything or answer further questions, etc.)

---

as a final part i will paste excerpts from things i have written about salvia experiences, shortly after having them:

I met the embodiment of capitalism it was offices and piers and shipping containers that formed into a face on a throne. the ground dropped away from me and I started falling/being drawn toward the face. my body was spinning but my sight was unchanging and locked on the shifting face. and I started to get pulled apart and turned into components but then my headphones said "low battery" so I lost the vision.

Then I saw like a really cool anime opening for a mech anime where mech was being assembled in orbit. pieces snapped together like magnets and hovered a few mm apart like superconducting magnets levitating. it was cool

hilbert curve dandelions. also i owned a haunted fungal mansion in the dandelion dimension but I couldn't find it. too many dandelions.

I was the primordial sports ball. like if u imagine every sentence you could write about sports it is essentially the same. the goalie blocks the shot. the hockey player slaps the puck. the archer looses the arrow. they're all subcases of the primordial sentence "the [sportsman] [triumphs upon] [the sportsball]" (we must accept that salvia as it exists in my head is a very jungian-by-way-of-jordan-peterson drug and move on. im working on it dw). U might think that it is impossible to be the sportsball but think of sentences like "the safety tackles the running back". sometimes you can slide into being the sportsobject even if you are a person. and that's what I did. i one-electron-theoried the entire narrative space of sportsball.

[gorepill]

it looks like that user was on their way to the circus and got lost, oh wait, they aren't just a clown, they're the entire circus

heyyyy leet's be nice to clowns here!!! Clownery is a perfectly respectful position and that last user would NEVER!!!! be accepted in thee clown community </3

[kithtaehyung]

💌 get to know me!

tagged by the lovely @intokook​ and @imyourhobiii​ ty ty! lots of clownery under the cut lol sry this took awhile but i’ve been nothing but a potato traveling at light speeds for the past month

tagging (optional as always!): @kimtaegis @rosebowl @namjoonssweetestthang @blueandtaes @marvelousbangtan @hazeltae @tae-bebe @gimbapchefs @cowboyjinbop @taemaknae @kkulmoon @trustingofwinds @introtae @taehkims @mintagust @ddaechwita @calicooky @loverjimin @thatredwine @lcksndkys @taejinnies @dinamitae​ @balenciaguks @hobeah @taetaebaebear @bangtanhome @jimilter ++ anyone else wanting to do this!

when is your birthday? 

august 30th! ryen 🤝 kook 

what is your favorite color? 

iridescent (but i’ve been clowned and been told that doesn’t count as a color dsfjkhd, so i’ll pick grey or lavender)

what's your lucky number? 

3, 7

do you have any pets? 

nope ughhh i live vicariously through my friends’ photos and videos

how tall are you?

NOT TALL😭

how many pairs of shoes do you own? 

uhhhhh.. of what type lol

favorite song? 

is there such thing?? lol i have no clue but.. currently, “still with you” or “baepsae” 

favorite movie? 

idk a true fave but i have a few comfort movies: howl’s moving castle, pride & prejudice, mujhse dosti karoge and rush hour 2 lololol

what would be your ideal partner? 

kim seokjin next question

do you want children? 

either way is fine tbh

have you gotten in trouble with the law? 

i am an honorable citizen😌

what color socks are you wearing? 

none socks

bath or shower? 

sHOWER with jin’s shower playlist on full volume

favorite type of music? 

oh geez.. i love most. probably rap and hip-hop and r&b. jazz, too. and lofi. wait, classical/soundtrack? wait, spanish guitar-

how many pillows do you sleep with? 

1!

which position do you sleep in? 

sprawled across the bed lolol

what don't you like when you're sleeping? 

pants or socks, when it’s too quiet or too hot

what do you have for breakfast? 

erm, if i have time to make it, eggs/toast/fruit. if not, coffee and biscotti 

have you ever tried archery? 

yes! this question went off the rails and i like it lol

favorite fruit? 

mangoooo

favorite swear word? 

“i don’t give a shit, i don’t give a fuck”

do you have any scars? 

yuh

are you a good liar? 

let’s play run bts games and you’ll find out

what's your personality type? 

ENFP-A! every time i’ve taken the test. same answer lol

what's your favorite type of girl? 

a girl that can whoop my ass PLEASE

left or right handed? 

leftie!

favorite food? 

dim sum and i miss it sm😭

are you clean or messy? 

dear god, both

favorite foreign food? 

food is food put it in my face. (but korean, japanese, and indian food are the ones i’m currently craving) 

how long does it take for you to get ready? 

5 minutes tops lmfao 

most used phrase? 

huh, STOP, aksjdksljd, “all roads lead to hoseok,” CAN HE STOP???, *inhuman noises*, >:(((

are you a good singer? 

define good🥲

do you sing to yourself? 

we practice everyday, fam

biggest fear? 

clowns even though i am The Whole Circus

do you like long or short hair? 

long! i just don’t think i look good in short hair

are you into gossips?

i ain’t a snitch

extrovert or introvert? 

a lot of both

favorite school subject? 

what’s school

what makes you nervous? 

when i really want something

who was your first real crush?

nobody laugh but i think it was sasuke uchiha✌️🥴

how many piercings do you have? 

2!

how fast can you run? 

you wanna see some reeeal speed?

what makes you angry? 

2020

do you like your own name? 

yes!

what are your weaknesses? 

i spread myself thin bc i say yes to a lot of things, i take feedback better than compliments, and all seven bangtan men

what are your strengths?

*jungkook voice* i don’t have any

what is the color of your bedspread?

deep green! it’s like, palm leaves.

color of your room?

used to be rainbow with all the bangtan stuff i had up! i took them all down for a move, though. now it’s plain walls with just my black swan hanging display above my bed 

wELL that took away the last of my brain cells for the day LOL i’m gonna go nap. absolutely no pressure to do this! i just thought it was a good game to make up for all the ones i’m missing sdlfkjd 

[teenyweenynightghost]

Måneskin Group Chat- Chapter 5

(Ok so I will be a decent human being and give y’all a bit more of a warning. So when I wrote the angsty plot last night i was feeling dramatic so now i have to listen to sad music so i can get in the mood for writing what i hope will be the last non-text chapter. Anyway, once this is posted my writing is no longer my problem so be cautious)

Warnings: my writing, language

“Ethan”

His name echoed in my head over and over again, a beautiful song with no end, an orchestra made of nature’s most delicate creatures. The sounds of birds chirping and leaves rustling as the wind softly blows them all around...that’s what hearing and saying his name felt like. As if the sun suddenly peeked through an endless sea of stormy clouds. Everything began warming up, all doubts and worries left my mind, as if on instinct, so that it can be filled with the one thing that truly healed it, the one thing that truly healed my soul- my darling Ethan.

“Y/N?” Damiano asked from the drivers seat, again, and thus succeeding at making me stop thinking about Ethan, for a second time. I was close to killing him.

“What is it” I asked sharply. “We’re home” he responded, with a soft look on his face.

Oh. Shit.

Now this was very much not a fairytale anymore and the peaceful sound of birds chirping turned into an irritating non-stop alarm that scratched my ears. Focusing on all of the things that bothered me, I forgot to get out of the car, thus having Thomas slowly picking me up and putting me on the alley-way.

“You know what I realised” I said, softly looking at the sky.

“You’re in love with Ethan?” asked Victoria with a cheeky expression on her face

“What? No Im not Ethan is my best friend and I do- O MY FUCKING GOD” My face fell at the sudden realisation . Behind me i could hear three people losing their shit laughing. The world was spinning under me and the corners of my eyes turned black.

“Holy Fuck Victoria why the fuck didn’t you tell me earlier you dumbass YOU LEFT ME ALONE!” I kept on rambling trying to find an excuse for being in this overwhelming nerve-wrecking minefield of an emotion. Meanwhile, I am pretty sure I heard Damiano trying to help Thomas up, after he inevitably fell down from laughing too hard. At me.

A sudden wave of embarrassment rushed over me. “What the fuck guys! First you kidnapp me, then you tell me i love Ethan and now you’re laughing at me!?

Vic wiped a tear and tried to answer through giggles “Im sorry cucciola but the way you reacted to it all is just hilarious! I mean it literally is like that audio on tik tok with the piano song- at first its soft and peaceful, just like you were in the car ride here, and then the realisation hit, and, in perfect sync with the music you realised the clownery of it all!

I heard a howling laughter coming from behind me. I turned to see Damiano on his knees, choking and struggling to breathe, as he was cackling even harder than before. “Shut up” I muttered quickly and went inside. 

I quickly made my way up the creaky stairs and ran to the bathroom. I slammed the door shut and let my emotions overwhelm me. My night had gone horribly wrong. I was right. I knew I wasn’t made for these things. God, what was my poor date even thinking. What was I thinking? Was I really in love with Ethan?

I kept sobbing and shaking until I heard a light knock on the door. I tried to wipe away my face quickly but it was too late. In a moment I had Ethan’s strong arms wrapped around me, bringing me the comfort i so badly wanted. “Shh, princess, it’s alright. You don’t have to think about anything right now” He had no idea how much those words meant to me. No idea how much he meant to me. I snuggled my face in the crook of his neck, as he shifted his weight so that we could both sit comfortably. He started humming lightly, and his vibrations only soothed me further. His fingers started playing with my hair, before going to my shoulders and massaging them lightly. I slowly closed my eyes, and noticed how I had unconsciously matched my breathing with his. He smelt like sandalwood and a dark stormy day, a scent which for years comforted me deeply. I slowly started feeling his muscles flexing as he picked me up and took me to his bedroom. He laid me down on the mattress and got right behind me. He helped take off my clothes and did the same with his. All we were now was a tangled mess of limbs.

I started becoming incredibly aware of everything. His breath on my neck, his calloused hands sliding up and down my bare back, barely even grazing it. I shivered and his eyed immediately met mine. “Are you cold, cara mia?” “No, don’t worry about it.” I snuggled into him even further, and soon there was nothing between us. Not even air.

For the first time that night, I felt at peace. As if nothing was in its wrong place, as if i wasn’t doing something bad or that I would regret. I knew what Victoria had said, and I just couldn’t wait any longer. Thinking back to all the moments Ethan had tried to express his emotions to me- offering me a warm cup of coffee every morning, offering to take care of my goats, despite being quite furious with my purchase initially. His actions spoke louder than his words. As if on cue, he tightened his arms around my waist and left a chaste kiss on my neck.

“Ethan” i muttered half-asleep. “Yes darling” His eyes were closed, no frown on his face and all of his muscled relaxed. He looked so at peace, so young. I smiled slightly and brought my forehead to his. Our noses touched, and thats when he opened his eyes too. I was met with his sleepy but affectionate gaze, dark and striking, reading all of my secrets.

“What were you going to say cucciola?” His eyes never once left mine, only gently bringing me back to reality. I smiled and brushed a hair strand behind his ears. “I’m in love with you.” His eyes widened. He scanned my face to see if he heard me right and i only smiled to reaffirm my words. His lips were instantly in mine, capturing them in what felt like the most passionate kiss I ever had. We moved in sync as he brought his hands up to cup my face, and I couldn’t help but smile. We pulled apart, no longer being able to breathe, but staying so close we could hear each other’s heartbeat. “ I’m in love with you as well”. He kissed me once more, then pulled me back into his arms. He brushed my hair again and with that, we both drifted to sleep.

                                                   -------------

I was awoken by a few light beams filtering through the curtains. Behind me, I felt someone breath evenly as their arms held me close. My mind wandered back to the events of last night. We were off to a rocky start, but it was all forgiven once I came home to him.

Y/n tried to turn softly so that she wouldn’t wake Ethan up. Now facing him, she couldn’t help but admire his soft features. She left a few soft kisses on his cheek, before lightly brushing her lips with him. At that, the boy in front of her opened his eyes, and smiled brightly. He cupped her cheek and brought their faces together, kissing her once more.

The pair stayed cuddled like this for a few more minutes before heading downstairs. Y/n approached the coffee machine and turned it on, while Ethan took some leftover patisserie from yesterday. After all of the food was on the table, Y/n went to sit down, only to be interrupted by Ethans grunt. He took a seat on one of the chairs and beckoned her to come closer. “C’mere amore”. Y/n did as she was told and went to sit on his lap. They ate together in silence, listening to the soft tunes playing on the radio.

Out of nowhere, they heard some giggling. They both turned around and saw three heads peeking from the staircase. Y/n rolled her eyes and sighed gravely, earning a chuckle from Ethan. The three musketeers who created so much chaos the previous night, emerged from their poor hiding spot singing Italy’s National Anthem.

Y/N scoffed at that and Ethan smirked. “So, who finally confessed” asked Victoria cheekily. “We both did, but Ethans came second” Y/n said proudly. Now it was Ethan’s turn to scoff. Thomas, who was still pissed that he had been woken up so early stole the remaining croissant out of Y/Ns plate and ate it in one bite. The rest of the band sat down and enjoyed some coffee too, as Y/Ns goats kept bugging the poor guitarist.

“Well, Im glad the issue between you two has been fixed. I was starting to choke on all that tension” said Damiano out of nowhere.

“Ha ah very funny” answered Ethan, his face completely blank. Y’N turned around and kissed him once more, to keep Damiano on Ethan’s good side.

The rest of their day was similar. Soft touches, random glances filled with love, kissed in between the bands’ practice sessions...

Truth be told, no one was happier than the two lovers who no longer kept their feelings hidden under the mask of friendship. 

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Omg so I was listening to some classical music and just as I was getting to the mushy parts it started playing a circus theme omg the universe is talking to me and im afraid its not good.

Anyway i hope you liked it, i will definitely continue chapter 6 as being chaotic and sarcastic, however , if yall want to, i could possibly write some blurbs with ethan x reader.

Until then, y’all can wait until the next chapter cuz its seven am and i have a long and empty day ahead of me 

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

✨Mon 21 Sept ‘20✨

Gossip Girl here- but I'm actually just a cheap knock off, something we were reminded of today when, in the plot twist of the year, the REAL Gossip Girl emerged to bring us today's Harry sighting! Well, okay, one of the actors from the show did. Well, fine, the actor's girlfriend. Whatever, my version is as accurate as that show was about continuity with who does the blog so I say it's valid! Anyway, Harry, about to be in LA for an extended period for Don't Worry Darling filming, which starts in just a couple of short weeks, is evidently making a stop in Naples on the way. He was spotted by the excited gossiping girls on the plane (and by many others who also took pics and video upon arrival at the airport.) XOXO! He was also seen yesterday before he left London (”nicely dressed”) and in pics walking around London sometime before yesterday (not as nicely dressed, he looks like he's ready for a trek in the mountains.) Oh and his team won a marketing award for Fine Line! It would turn my stomach to praise Jeffrey on main but it was technically Columbia Records who actually won the award so given that I guess I can manage it-- they did do a good job and get big results! May the grammy campaign be as fruitful.

Niall scoffed at fans who tried to trick him into stripping for them despite not having met the streaming goal he'd asked for to earn that, uh, prize, but set a new goal to allow them to try again. I'll just be over here covering my delicate gay eyes but if you're someone who would like to see that happen, best of luck to you! An old pic of Louis from after his show on the night he played Hits Live Manchester last November was posted- he's fully clothed (which I heartily approve of) and not in just anything, he's wearing the prototype smiley face hoodie! Remember the bad old days when there was NO LOUIS MERCH at all available in the world and we would just cry at pics of him and his crew wearing the samples? Not everything gets worse! We also got an old pic of him in another vintage Umbro shirt lol, a different one this time.

Meanwhile zabywatch continues to be weirdly uneventful as the days past Gigi's due date (and the date an induced labour would happen if the timeline we were given is accurate) stack up, and Briana is... engaged?! Evidently she and recent addition to the circus Nick Gordon (seen this week galivanting about Vegas with the Jungwirth/Clark clan) plan to be married, or at least his sister posted a picture of them together with Briana displaying a ring, saying that her brother had “found his one.” Brody Jenner who? Maybe B got tired of the constant reminders that the tabs can't tell her apart from any other random LA blond that came with that association! Well she won't have to worry about that (or being papped at all) with this guy, unless they are actual soulmate schemers with some kind of Wile E Coyote level plan to get famous up their sleeves that we'll be subjected to soon. In fact it seems that we weren't meant to know about this at all (it was only posted to a private account and the post was deleted after fans got ahold of it) so the Brody thing might be that plan, which the continuing articles about he and her would seem to support. Uh oh what will they do now? Looking forward to this next installment of this cavalcade of clownery!

[slightlymore]

Rumours | Part 2

Part  2 to this request

Warnings: smut lol 

Part 1

I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with you. If you raised your hand and touched me I would feel nothing. You do nothing to me. I don't want it. I don't want to sleep with you-

"Stop it" Johnny's hand suddenly cupped your knee. You blinked as if awoken from a dream and stared at his fingers first then at his face. He was referring to how your leg was making the whole desk shake just a few seconds ago.

"Sorry, I wasn't doing it on purpose", you whispered looking away.

"Is everything alright? You seem anxious", he smiled kindly while his fingers gently caressed your knee as if soothing you.

Thanks. It only made things worse.

"I am fine", you replied with a squeaky voice.

Johnny looked at your almost pained expression, teeth biting down on the pencil, shoulders raised up in tension and just chuckled. Shrugging he got back to work on his part of the research.

You've been in that classroom for what felt hours but your papers were blank. Johnny's notes on the contrary were carefully written.

Easy to do that when you don't have a leaking pipe between your legs, you thought.

You closed your eyes with a deep breath. Maybe you should go on a walk, take a break.

Yeah. Maybe wash your face with cold water. Sounds good.

"Stop it or I'm going to french kiss you", he breathed out amused but faking irritation as the desk started to shake because of your leg again.

Wait.

What?

You felt your eyes widen and eyebrows rise until meeting your hairline. Without realizing you brought your fingers up to touch your lips and you felt the way your breath hitched.

Laugh, just laugh, he's joking, haha, come on, why are you shocked, he's messing with you, YN, come on, get your shit together, I swear to g-

"Not those lips" Johnny whispered leaning in slightly while staring at your mouth with a little smile.

He definitely saw how you jolted.

And he saw your shaking pupils and fidgeting fingers. He was enjoying it. What a jerk. You wanted to fight him.

You stood up on a whim. No, you weren't about to fight him. Who were you kidding? You needed to go away. You had to run away.

"Fuck-" you cursed as you hit your thigh against the edge of the desk.

"Hey-" Johnny looked at your leg. "Are you okay? Where are you-" but couldn't finish as you made a few steps and tripped on your bag's straps.

"Oh! Easy" he grabbed your arm and prevented you from falling flat on your face.

"I'm alright! I'm fine. Everything is fine", you assured him even if stuttering.

A low rumble made your head turn to look at him. His lips were pressed tightly together and his chin was shaking.

He was trying so hard not to laugh at you. But then he burst.

"No, no, wait, wait, YN, come on", he stood up and held your arm even tighter as you started to walk towards the door, mortified.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, please, stay", he added hovering over you.

You didn't want to turn around and face him. Your face was burning and you couldn't stand to feel so exposed in front of him.

“You’re allowed to laugh. It was pretty funny”, you mumbled crossing your arms on your chest.

“Will you look at me?” he asked softly. You shook your head.

Not only you had to see if the circus was open, now you were behaving like a child as well.

Johnny sighed. “I didn’t know it would affect you this way”.

Oh so now we do address the elephant in the room, huh.

“Let’s just- let’s just get back to work”, you turned around not feeling Johnny’s hand on you anymore, but he was still there making you bump your head into his chest.

“Ah-” your voice came out as a muffled sound.

Damn, it felt as if going against a wall.

Johnny’s torso vibrated on your forehead, indicating that he was laughing again. Great. There is no end to clownery.

You didn’t manage to move this time though as his fingers touched your chin and slowly raised your face to meet his gaze.

The only thing you were able to see was his neck and jawline. The desire to resist his aura and resume what you were doing before embarrassing yourself for no reason was waning.

“I thought you had some questions”, Johnny talked softly.

I don’t want to sleep with you. Come on, YN. This is what you’ve been repeating like a mantra the whole day. You don’t want it. Say it. Come on, say it. You don’t care if he’s a sex god or not.

“Yes” you whispered instead, trying to lower your head again because of the embarrassment.

Johnny let out a pensive “hm” and walked around you a few steps as if you were a pray he wanted to play with before eating. He stopped behind you and you gulped feeling his body pushing you until your thighs met the desk.

“Shall we start from the first one?” he asked, so close to your ear that you had visible goosebumps all over your body.

“What was that? This?” he touched your neck with his knuckles, going down to your shoulder, opening his palm on the side of the bust, caressing your waist, going to your stomach, stopping when he felt the button of your jeans.

“I think- I think I need a little more time to get the answer to this question-” you breathed out.

“I’m not finished”, he interrupted you, adding his other hand to the game. Then he put his lips to good use as well.

You couldn’t help it. It was overwhelming. It was too much.

You just moaned.

He wasn’t even doing that much in the first place. Groping you and kissing your neck. Was this something incredible? No. Then why you felt as if about to be thrown off the edge already?

When he slipped his cool fingers under your shirt you grabbed the edge of the desk and when he unbuttoned your jeans your whole body stretched upwards, tip toeing in his hold.

“Well” he smiled against your ear, gliding his hand underneath the fabric and making you jolt, “I was expecting some, but this exceeded my expectation” he added feeling how wet you were.

Your muscles twitched and you opened your mouth in a silent whimper as he gently picked up the pace.

But it didn’t last long. His hand soon moved and wanting to protest you turned around to look at him but the words died in your throat at the sight of his tongue licking his fingers.

He hummed at your expression. “Just tasting the meal” he explained, almost innocently. “And I must say, it’s very delicious”.

Your core got even hotter and your head lighter. You wanted to reply to that, but you had no thoughts. Not that he left you any time to do it as his hands dragged down your jeans until they met your ankles and his fingers were quick to caress your ass, making you open your legs as if he was a policeman checking if you carried something on you.

You felt so exposed. The little tiny part of your brain that still hold onto the Idontwanttosleepwithjohnny agenda was asking what were you doing.

But it soon got completely annihilated as he finally slid his fingers inside of you.

You whined loudly and he didn’t worry to tell you to keep quiet, if anything, your pretty sounds made him eager to move even quicker.

Fuck, he knew what he was doing. And he was doing it so well.

“So” he spoke up rather calmly, “the next question was?” he asked.

You let your whimpering breaths be your reply, tightening your hands on the edge of the desk and throwing your ass back to get some more.

Johnny hummed pleased. “If only you knew how beautiful you look right now”, and you grind your teeth, sucking in the air through them, feeling him so deep inside of you.

And then he wasn’t there anymore.

With a loud and dirty sound he slid his fingers out. You turned around trying to look at what he was doing through the fog of pleasure.

He smiled brightly at you as if he didn’t just fingered your pussy and grabbing your ass he made you sit on the desk, getting as close as to speak against your lips.

“Question two”, he whispered and suddenly fell on his knees, dragging your panties off your legs. He then looked up again with puppy eyes and chuckled.

“Grab my hair and direct my face where you want it” he ordered. ”Get your answer”, he added.

You swallowed nothing as your mouth got suddenly dry, completely opposite of what your dripping heat was doing, and that’s exactly where you wanted it.

His hair was soft and silky through your fingers as you nudged at his head to move. He kept on looking up at you with those honey eyes of his and it was driving you insane. His big hands wrapped your thighs and he went in.

Just like that. Burying his face between your legs, not wasting a single second.

The moan your voice formed was probably the loudest you’ve ever heard on your own lips. and your hands started to shake as you felt Johnny’s hot tongue swirling your clit.

Fuck, he was actually french kissing it.

You gripped his hair even harder while with the other arm you supported your weight on the desk.

When he raised his face to look up at you again he smiled and licked his lower lip, glistening with your juice. Then he placed the tongue on your clit again, flicking it with the tip, wanting you to see that.

“Fuck-” you whispered and threw your head back, closing your eyes, feeling Johnny’s low hums against your core.

“I think that-” you swallowed. “-I’m” you couldn’t finish your phrases. “-I’m cumming- Johnny, please-” you begged him even if not knowing for what.

When your legs started to shake by the strongest orgasm you’ve ever experienced in your whole life, you tightened your hands in his hair and he groaned doing the same with your waist, gripping it hard as if cumming himself. You were still breathing heavily while he slowly started to rise by placing soft kisses on your lower stomach, going up, lifting your shirt as he went, undressing you all.

His hands then went to your back and unclasped your bra, feeling your breasts with his palms, finally kissing your lips.

You let yourself go into the feeling, so exhausted and drained all over. He caressed you while softly biting your lower lip and you felt his hands drawing circles on your skin.

Sure that everything was over, you didn’t even notice when he unbuttoned his own jeans.

With a sudden movement he tugged you closer by grabbing your ass and filled you all up in one go.

You yelped, surprised and overwhelmed by the sudden sweet pain, panting against his lips, digging your nails into his back.

“John- Johnny”, you begged.

“Answer 3, acquired”, he spoke with a deep and breathy voice.

Yes. You gave it to him. You didn’t see or feel that many dicks before, but he was definitely the biggest on campus.

“O-okay” you replied, as if acknowledging it. “Okay” you added.

“Okay” he repeated. “Now let’s see if I can fuck you for hours or not”.

[greenbriar-j]

cooking with aiden and finley <3 (it’s long but v fluffy)

“You make it sound like I’m useless in the kitchen.”

“You are. Quit taking up so much space!”

“Oh, so it’s my fault the dorm designers made the kitchen smaller than your dic-“

“Aiden,” a lilting voice breaks through the argument. “If you finish that sentence, I am never speaking to you again.”

“Emmie, please,” Aiden says as we both look up. “Pfft.”

Aiden chortles a bit, but I can’t fathom why. Emerson looks like she could kill me again, in a wonderfully blue dress that looks like it was designed just for her. Her hair is straightened perfectly, curling inward gently at the ends. Her makeup is different, too, though I’m in no position to describe the way that works. All her jewelry is silver, including my lightning-shaped ring on her finger. 

“Babe, why didn’t you tell him you’re bad with onions?” Emerson asks, glancing between Aiden’s mess of onions and me. For a moment I’m confused, then remember that the two friends address each other as couples would. “Finley,” she says. I smile softly at the sound of my name. If she always says it like that, I’d never want a nickname from her anyway. “He’s a crybaby with onions. He probably can’t even see right now.”

“Where’s Florence?” June asks.

Aiden sniffles loudly. “Junie, I’m dying, and you’re asking about another man. I’m wounded.”

“Cut it out, you big baby. Akira said she’d send Florence so you don’t fuck up the seasoning.”

“I’m doing the seasoning, so I sent him away,” I answer before Aiden neatly sidesteps the question again. “I make a killer steak, so y’all better be ready.”

June and Emerson settle at the bar stools by the nearest counter and exchange a look. Rather than respond, June hands Emerson some lip gloss, and they get caught up in a conversation about it.

“They’re ignoring us, aren’t they?” I nudge Aiden with a foot.

He kicks me back with unnecessary force. “Obviously. Make them eat their words, Schultz. We have to knock their socks off.”

“Neither of them are wearing socks.”

“I am holding a knife. Don’t make me use it.”

I turn to him to make a serious rebuttal, then have to hold in a laugh at his teary expression. If I had known I could make him cry this much just with onions, I would’ve made him cook ages ago.

Soft music starts to play through the kitchen. I recognize the song from the playlist Emerson plays every time I give her free reign in my car. Emerson waves a tiny speaker at us. “I’m setting the mood. Although I think I should’ve prepared carnival music instead, for the amount of clownery going on here.”

“I forgot to mention you look amazing. Now play me some sexy tunes for my sexy cooking.”

“Sure, baby,” Emerson smirks.

“You know she wore that dress to our senior prom? I have the matching tie.”

“So?”

“So you’re second place this time.”

“Is this what we’re competing on now? Who sees her new clothes first? Just so you know, this is the playlist she made for me. Specifically for me.”

Circus music interrupts the conversation. Emerson laughs at our expressions, and June smirks too. “If you’re both done flirting, I’m a little hungry over here. Also, Finley, I’m pretty sure this is your playlist.”

taglist: @abbystardis @astrowriting @aelenko @asoftplxcetoland @chazzawrites @halleiswriting @jess---writes​ @marchdove​ @mouwwie​ @mastery-in-procrastination​ @nightmares-and-fireflies​ @pe-ersona​ @theoldcity​ @thescatteredscribbles​ @unbearable-lightness-of-ink​ @waterfallwritings​

[bunnymajo]

Losing my mind over your Tabitha and Adam and the WHAT post because that was my exact reaction too. I watched the whole thing a while back and it is A Time. I ultimately elected not to include on my list of magical girl cartoons because iirc Tabitha actually doesn't use her magic all that much in it what with all the... clownery going on, but tbh that was just a technicality I was using to yeet it off the list so I would never have to think about it again lmao.

Oh she doesn't actually use magic in it, that's a relief shame.

I included on the blog because it's at least magical girl adjacent/related to Bewitched and I have to respect the majokko elders. And also because it's just so.... Out There that I had to let people know haha

But yeah, I would love to know the story of how someone went "Hey why don't we make a cartoon movie about those witch kids from Bewitched at the circus and they help a clown rock band" Like how??

I'd blame the success of The Partridge Family show but it predates that. The 70's were just like that I guess.

[they-callme-ami]

Lunch Break (Tobias x Black! Fem MC)

    It’d been a few weeks now… and you couldn’t stop thinking about that night, your date with Tobias.  Not only had you eaten some bomb ass Carribean and dancing, but he made you breakfast the next morning.  This man was a keeper but you were terrified to try and take it further.  Dating was always hard for you, since you were so used to hearing and seeing and living through the whole ‘I don’t date black women’ bs you heard for years.

What if he didn’t like you like you liked him? What if he was just entertaining you and teasing you again? Leading you on for future hook-ups?  What if he didn’t like black women?  That question was something you had to ask every time you met a new guy, and it was humiliating every time you were right in your suspicions.   These were terrible thoughts to have while heading towards Mass Kenmore with exactly 40 minutes for your lunch-- thankfully it was only a 10 minute ride to get to Kenmore from the hospital.  When you finally arrived, you were surprised to easily just...walk in.  No guards asking for a Kenmore badge, no weird looks..you just walked in before bumping into a familiar brick wall--or, rather, a familiar set of broad shoulders and abs.

“Oh sorry--” He looked down at you and his eyes widened...nervously?  “Y/N---uh, Dr. Y/L/N...what are you doing here?  Has Ethan made you his lap dog or somethin?  Came to send me a message, Lassie?” He grins and a few laughs from his female coworkers rang through your ears as they whispered and pointed..and he winked at them. Oh HELL nah.

“Actually, this is a message from...just..can we talk somewhere else, Dr. Carrick? I promise you don’t want ANYONE to hear what I’m about to say.”  You put on a fake smile but even he could see he got you 4 levels of fucked  up.  The two of you headed to the elevator and by god, you had never smacked anyone so fast. 

“Ow! Y/N I--”

“Carrick you got me FUCKED up with some ‘lapdog’ shit so you better say sike right now.  I skip my lunch break to come talk to you and I will be damned if you say somethin’ else....” You crossed your arms as the two of you got to the floor with his office.  You walked inside and just as you got in, he closed the door hard--oh fuck-- and locked it.

“Okay first off--if you smack me again we both gon’ act a fool. Second off, you still work at Edenbrook and I got a reputation to uphold if you forgot. Loveable asshole and all.” He smirked and walked closer. “And, three...as much as I love you coming up to work during my lunch break and smacking me in the elevator, why are you here?”

Goofy.  Utterly goofy. Clownery.  You were the damn circus as Tobias just read your whole entire ass.  Of course he was putting up a front for everyone here…

“....So what’d happen was, uhm...I uh--...I wanted to, uh…” You looked down, embarrassed and when you looked back up, Tobias had his arms crossed with a smirk, tapping his foot and humming.  Head-ass nigga here…”Look, I’m sorry...I guess I forgot you and I are still kinda...work enemies.. I have no idea how June handled this shit before y’all--”.....did they ever break up?  What if he was still with her again--what if now he thought you were just crazy and--and--

“Y/N, hey….hey hey, why are you crying?” His hands were suddenly wiping at your cheeks and pulling you back to reality. Dammit, you were crying over this?  You must look like an emotional mess to him right now.  Stupid...why would he like you?  You worked for his rival hospital, you were 10 years his junior and he probably didn’t even like black--

“Tobias, do you like me? Like...Like actually like me? I...I know I was so confident when I asked you out 2 weeks ago and it was one of the best feelings in the world...but, you seem too good to be true and I’m terrified you’re just playing me...be straight with me okay?  I’d rather you just tell me right now if this is just sex or whatever.  It’s nothing I’m not used to so just rip the bandage off now.” You just poured it out.  It came crashing down...you managed to handle your career on the line--your damn life on the line--but the wound that still stung was how you were viewed as a black woman...especially to black men.  You wiped your eyes and sniffed a bit as you just emotionally broke down and let your fears take hold of you.  You guarded your heart tightly...every insult that would come towards you, there was always that small voice in your head.

 ‘It’s because you’re a black woman.  Undesirable.  Dramatic.  Loud.  Angry.’  you had prepared yourself for the rejection to come...but instead you felt his arms around you and your eyes widened.  He was hugging you tight...and you felt wetness on your shoulder….tears, from him.

“Hey.... you should know, I broke it off with June months ago..it was a week after the incident at Edenbrook..look I...I know I’m terrible at playing it straight and serious like Ethan but...it’s unfair of me to not be upfront with you.  If I sent some mixed signals--made you feel some kinda way...I’m so sorry Y/N.”  He pulled away and held your face in his hands.  “I want to be with you.  I want to be with your crazy, loud, funny, emotional and adorable self.  That night we--...that night I almost lost you, I-I…” he choked up a bit and held you tighter, as if you would slip away if he didn’t. “ I felt scared for the first time in a long, long time.  I just thought...it’d be better to move on from it, since you seemed to like the confident and strong and cocky me.  I wanted to be strong for you, I wanted you to feel happy….but...I do want to be with you, for real.  No one else.  Just you...if you’ll let me.”

You looked at him again while he spoke and could only smile before finding your voice.  “Tobas….” you said in a raspy voice before continuing, “We are some of the biggest fuckin’ babies I’ve met huh...blubbering and shit…” You smile and kiss his cheek.  “Gah...this would have been easier over text y’know.”

“Sure….but then, I couldn’t do this.”  He grabbed you again with a laugh and kissed you sweetly.  The two of y’all kissed or whatevah, no big deal...but it was to both of you.  He pulled away with a sigh.  “Now….let’s head back downstairs, go out and grab some lunch nearby, and let me show you off in front of my coworkers.” He smiled and tucked your curls behind your ear.  “I’ll even let you hold my hand and everything.” Tobias winks.

“Hah--I don’t think pettiness suits me…however, who am I to disagree with the guy who runs shit here?” You walked out the office...hand in hand.  He stared at you the whole time and as you walked by those same laughing coworkers, Tobias yanked you close and kissed your forehead.

“I hope you’re okay with me driving you back to Edenbrook?  I don't want my girl walking back to work by herself…”  he said, kinda loud as y’all walked past them.  Okay, pettiness looked fantastic on the two of you. This was definitely a productive lunch break.

[danganronpedits-archived]

hiya! i love the way you do kin matchups so i would like to request one. danganronpa and its fangames please owo im your friendly neighborhood gremlin with a love for mischief. i like purposefully annoying and pissing people of bc its funny. i used to be a malicious jerk, but have been taking steps to be a better person. despite being extroverted and friendly, i dont get attached to others easily. oh also i love birds and fairgrounds/circuses. thank you, knock yourself out

ooh... haha, you sound really different from a lot of the anons i’ve gotten! thank you so much for requesting(and for the compliment ^^;), this was veery fun to plan out! hope you enjoy it :)!

from danganronpa, i first match you with...

kokichi ouma!

just to start off- that owo???? i just??? you mean to tell me that kokichi WOULDN’T use that? starting off, both of you are total gremlins. ingame, i mean, spoilers and whatnot, but kokichi literally runs a gang based around mischief and pranks. the fact that his gang is dedicated to that and only that i feel like is something else you have in common- while kokichi ingame can definitely be malicious, this is likely because, well, it’s a killing game. more specifically, one that basically no one trusts until the first murder happens and everything is suddenly real. i’m not trying to excuse his actions in it, but i feel like if he had that same personality of his outside of the game, there would be less of a need to be so distrustful and harsh towards others- after all, the outside world is intimidating and threatening, but there’s a lot more places to run to if someone wants to kill you, rather than in one single academy. sorry, i kind of went off on a tangent!

the two of you are rather extroverted, and while he’s not exactly friendly, he has this demeanor that implies that he’s going to be a sweet, adorable little guy. not saying that that’s you, but you know! the two of you seem very energetic, at least from your typing style, though that may not translate into real life. he loves getting on other people’s nerves for his own entertainment, ie kiibo. i would also say that he doesn’t get very close to others easily, as we see with both the cast of the killing game. plus, this is more theorising, as kokichi is strongly implied to be an orphan, that’s also something that causes trust issues/trouble getting close to people in victims of this, as, well, they weren’t able to be taught those kinds of bonds. again, i’m not saying that you’re an orphan, but that’s something the two of you are very likely to have in common. finally, i mean, dice has a clown aesthetic. he definitely likes fairgrounds/circuses.

from danganronpa another, i match you with...

satsuki iranami!

satsuki is definitely one that jumped to my mind right away. quick one, she’s literally the ultimate clown- she loves circuses! plus, the owo. how can i resist pointing it out. while i wouldn’t say she intentionally bothers others for the sake of comedy, it’s more like... a lot of her comedy can come off as annoying occasionally, just because it’s so clownlike,(who would’ve guessed, haha) which is such a niche art in my opinion. i think both of you are very energetic and extroverted, as well as friendly, but neither of you seem to get particularly attached to the people around you- at the least, satsuki doesn’t seem to express it. you both do seem extroverted and friendly, but i think that lack of attachment to people can make you seem insensitive or rude at times, as it’s a bit harder for satsuki to be personal and genuine with someone. i wouldn’t be surprised if you share that with her.

satsuki, being a clown, is definitely someone who i think would have a love for mischief- i kind of teeter totter between the headcanon that she can appreciate all kinds of performance and comedy, versus her being like... an entertainment purist that only sees clownery as the valid kind. but regardless, a lot of the circus aesthetic is based around mischief and playing with people’s perceptions, so she seems like she’d have a fondness for mischief too! satsuki also, just from her talking about her inferiority with her siblings, could be someone i see as having more roughness or rudeness thanks to that insecurity. that’s just a headcanon, as we don’t know too much of her past from my knowledge, but it doesn’t seem too unlikely. obviously, she’s a better person now/she always has been the person we see ingame, so we don’t know exactly. linuj feed us more satsuki info 2k20

from super danganronpa another 2, i match you with...

hibiki otonokoji!

hibiki and kotoko were really hard for me to pick from between these two, but as you can see, the former won out! hibiki Has The Gremlin EnergyTM, in my eyes, and she does use... the cursed owo. while i wouldn’t exactly say hibiki’s one for mischief, she does take on a form of that- her half-jokingly picking on people is what i’d consider to be this. some of these comments do come from malice, as she has her own insecurities that she hasn’t quite worked through yet. i definitely don’t blame her for having these, and if you relate to her i don’t blame you for having them, as there are several good reasons as to why she’s been held back. however, we see ingame that she does have a lot of potential to grow, like how you’ve talked about becoming a better person that’s less driven by just rudeness. in fact, she can become rather kind to other people- of course, her efforts and growth are cut off, but still...

hibiki does enjoy, at least at the beginning of the game, picking on people and bothering them. i’d say that this is for a mix of both her amusement, and as a defense mechanism. her sister has likely caused her trust issues, which makes it harder for her to really get close to people. after all, we see exactly this ingame. setsuka, and i suppose her sister, are really the only people that she’s able to trust at first, despite having a cheery and extroverted demeanor. i think that she does have a lot of potential to trust others and be open, but this potential tends to get stifled by her environment. also, finally, we don’t really know her thoughts on a lot of her hobbies/interests i don’t think? but like, birds sing, and she’s a vocalist. maybe there’s a connection there?

-

it’s time for minor matchups! however, i’ve specially noted hiyoko saionji for someone that you’d remind me of strongly in the past. otherwise, from danganronpa, you somewhat remind me of kotoko utsugi, genocider syo(not too much of toko), and miu iruma! and also, you remind me a tad of monaca towa. from the danganronpa another series, you remind me of setsuka chiebukuro!

gah,, i feel like that was really long haha. hopefully it was alright, though! please remember that you know best, anon, and that if you’d like anything in this post changed, please let me know! (also, requests are open again!)

-mod tsu

[animaopen]

When you walk over to where Sidestep and Anathema are sitting, lounging, along the roof, you can’t quite make out what they were doing. But there was laughter, and insistence in ‘no, no, Themmy, I’m not showing you again’. Another shove of ‘oh come on, I’ll show you how to—’ but it’s cut off, with how they turn towards you.

“Charge.”

“Charginald.”

Without a beat, they respond at the same time. You frown, not quite sure who said what exactly, but in gold cursive script above their heads, you could almost read the ‘we were up to no good’ perfectly. And naturally, you don’t believe it.

“Am I interrupting something?”

“Nothing at all,” Sidestep responds without a beat. Mask turned up around her mouth, and there’s a hint of a smile just there.

Dangerous. “Absolutely nothing?”

Anathema bounces back with an “Absolutely nothing.” Reaffirmed, one hundred percent.

As if you can’t notice the bag from a nearby shop, and a part of you knows you should probably reprimand them for walking into a supermarket in uniform,

But there are those fancy little cakes you like on top, and gold script above their heads again. Alright, fine. Sit down on the other side of Anathema, dig into the bag. Neither of them argue, settling back into a conversation you can’t keep up with. Might be the one from before, but you’re too caught up 

“Are those cherries?” Only a handful were left, really, but there were pits on a lid, and several stems tied. Not the only remains left of fruit, as you could see several lots of peel as well. 

“Imported. Very expensive.” 

Without missing a beat, Sidestep speaks up, around a mouthful. “Anathema put it on the Rangers card.”

“Hey!”

You groan, politely ignoring how Anathema goes to throttle Sidestep. “You’re going to have to explain that one.”

“No way.”

Arguments rile up again, completely and totally dissolving into laughter. Elbows and comments and maybe you should be concerned that the two of them would attract attention from security, but neither of them seem to care at that moment. Too caught up in whatever Anathema was trying to get Sidestep to do.

“Hey, Charge, I have a question—”

“—Themmy, no—”

“—Want to see a trick?”

You don’t know what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t Anathema juggling. Faster, faster. Sidestep flicking her hands in between, trying to put her off. But to no avail, as they land cleanly in Anathema’s hands, held up with a “tada!”

“Cute. Might give you an edge in the next fight.”

“I was thinking that I could make little balls of goo, maybe throw them at people?” They grin, big and bright, and you have to roll your eyes. Try not to encourage it.

Gotta be all upright and stiff. “Baffle them with clownery, right?” Nope, can’t keep the smile off your face, and how Anathema takes it in their stride. 

“Don’t be fooled, Charge. I could put even you and your circus tricks to shame.”

“What circus tricks? Hey, Anathema, don’t ignore me. What ‘circus tricks’?” Try to move, grab them, but they dance up and away. Taking lessons from Sidestep, it seemed.

Sidestep, who was leaning back, watching how Anathema continues to dodge, duck and dive out of your reach. Laughing and giving tips. You think she’s looking at you, with how she lingers just a little too long, but the mask is in place, and you have to fall back to the ground, done.

Roll your head over, “thanks for the help.”

“Always happy to help.”

Snort, and lay flat on the ground now. Stretch your fingers out wide. Bump against something and you turn to see it’s Sidestep. Her hand. Can’t read her face, because her mouth lies flat. But Anathema drops in, quite literally, separating the two of you.

Don’t think about how you feel a little warmer before.

“Sidestep, show him your trick.”

“No.”

“Come on, it’s really cool.”

A tense moment passes, and you wonder who just might give in first. But Anathema is incredibly smug, so much it’s radiating off them in waves not even Sidestep can ignore, before you practically hear them roll their eyes. 

“You’re an asshole.”

“Love you, too.”

Sidestep snorts, plucks a stem from an abandoned cherry, and flips Anathema off once more. “I know exactly what you’re up to.”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do, you prick.”

Something wordless passes between them, you can’t hear it. Sidestep can’t hear you. Stem placed on her tongue, and you know what she’s doing next, with the slight movement of her jaw. Oh. Well. Apparently Sidestep had many hidden talents, including tying a cherry stem with her tongue.

You don’t know how that makes you feel, so you try to focus on anything but her lips, how they spread into a smile. Is it a show? Of how her tongue rolls out, unveiling the neatly tied stem. How you can’t look away.

Before she picks it off, drops it to the side, and “voila!” A flourish, trying to break the tension. It doesn’t work at all, with how she wets her lips, grins.

Suddenly, you are acutely aware of scuffing on the side of your boots. If there is a pause, you let it pass by, until Anathema and Sidestep start again. Something about timing how fast she could do it, do the trick, and you do not think about her lips. Her tongue.

Swallow hard. Think about everything else, of course, of course. You had to. 

[the-pit-of-space]

my official dnd story

((CUT TO THE 4TH PARAGRAPH FROM THE BOTTOM FOR THE ACTUAL 'JOKE' I JUST NEEDED TO PROVIDE SOME CONTEXT))

hey so with all the adventure zone graduation stuff happenin ((sidenote its AMAZING so far MWAH)) i was reminded of my first and so far only dnd group that actually played dnd.

(not, because they were bad, they were super chill, ive just never had a chance to join another, but im always looking. hi, im tea and im open to joini-)

ANYWAY!! a bit of backstory on this group. there were four people, including me (tea), and for the sake of privacy well call them uhh,, A, B and C. i cant think of any good fake names rn jfjghd

so A was our DM, and he was So Goddam Good. the whole campaign was homebrew, using 5e mechanics nd stuff, and oh my GOD i loved it so MUCH!!! the world was so detailed too, it was goddamn amazing.

he'd run this campain before for different players, with uh, varying levels of success and cooperation, and was looking for a new group via craigslist!!

surprisingly, this Isnt where i come in

B and C were a couple, and B reached out to A and yada yada yada They Decided To Play Together

but, they needed at least one more person.

HERE is where i come in. i had recently joined a dnd discord, and dndiscord if u will, looking for a group. B posted he was looking for someone to play in [REDACTED], A [REDACTED], USA, where i happen to live, and so i answered!!

((ill give u a hint its hot as shit where i am))

next thing i know, we're all chatting in our own little groupchat, and are set to meet up at a coffee shop later that week!!

lets, uh, skip ahead a bit, actually, or else ill tell the whole thing day by day

(though, fun to note, i am and was Teen, and they were Adult, and were uh. Very Shocked when they found out i was Teen at the coffee shop)

so lets run down their characters, hey?

i had BONES, pronounced like justin mcelroy telling you what the first haunted doll watch doll is made of. he was a half-elf bard, formerly part of a travelling circus, and had a degree in both Dumbassery and Clownery

B had,,, A Character, certainly!! i uh. for the Life of me cant remember his characters name now, or at least how to spell it, so,, ill describe him!! he was a homebrew race, a big bipedal elephant man, and despite popular belief was a cleric!! he had the braincell of the party, most of the time

C had Craig, who i to this day love with all my heart. Craig was another homebrew race, a cricket-based alien, whose planet was hyper capitalist and specialized in vacation getaways. he gave off Huge hitchhikers guide to the galaxy vibes, in the Best way. he claims he was a professional at dumbassery, but if theres a degree on his wall, i havent seen it

and, uh, A was our DM, so. thats all the characters.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH TAZ GRADUATION, i hear you ask?? IS THE ONLY CORRELATION THE FACT THAT YOU WERE PLAYING DND??

nope!!! you see, the very Second justin spoke as his character, i swear to the Lord it was Elephant Friend all over again.

you see, while he Did tell us his name, by george were Craig and BONES dumbasses, so they did Not remember.

theres, uh. actually a pretty Iconique scene, if i do say so myself, where BONES and Craig were looking for Elephant Friend. the other context both isnt important and would take too long to explain. so! BONES, being a fukin,,, Dingus Wingus, just starts calling out 'FRIEND?' and Craig joins in.

so there we were. walkin through the abandoned streets, just yellin friend at the top of our lungs, trying to find our Elephant Man.

it turned out he had gotten bitch-slapped nearly to death by an old lady ghost.

and thats my official dnd story!! uhh if this,, Intrigues you, blease ask me more abt this campaign i miss it so much crAIG IF UR OUT THERE-