#PERFECTLY DEPICTS THE WHOLE VIBE AND I'M UP FOR IT

[ashonheavenscloud]

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ seventeen members as p1harmony songs:

a/n: first post after revamp!! this was ultimately for my own personal enjoyment🤣 my ults as songs from my best boys <3 enjoy!

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☆ seungcheol:

Black Hole: the cheeky NANANANA at the start is so scoups. the intensity of the instrumental and the overall confidence this song exudes makes me think of cheol’s charisma on stage. not to mention this song has one of jongseob’s best raps of all time and that’s so fitting imo. + scoups is literally an inescapable black hole. ask any carat🫡

☆ jeonghan:

Love Me for Me: this song is so fun! and a little mischievous! and the bright chorus especially reminds me of jeonghan’s adorable character so much. idk what else to say for this, because the vibe just fits jeonghan perfectly that’s all😭

☆ joshua:

Gotta Get Back: there really wasn’t any other option for josh😭 the dreamy, nostalgic feeling of the song. the gentle romanticism in the lyrics. everything about this song SCREAMS joshua. it’s so soulmate coded i want to throw UP😭😭 i'm in pieces thinking about this

☆ jun:

BFF (Best Friends Forever): maybe it’s the cute, bright feeling of the song or the whole concept of best friends but this song is so lighthearted and whimsical and that’s exactly how i see jun😭 imagining him doing this kind of choreo too is SO PRECIOUS🥺😭

☆ hoshi:

Look At Me Now: the MINUTE that epic intro starts it’s hoshi coded. the power, the confidence, the intensity i can picture SO clearly hoshi in this song. even more with that powerful hook into a smooth dark chorus ugh if you know anything about the choreo for this song, you know hoshi would eat it up. i can’t imagine him being any other song than this, it just suits him so much.

☆ wonwoo:

More Than Words: the quiet, chill, yet gentle feeling in this song made me give it to wonwoo. this song feels like holding hands while walking in the park or eyes softening when they meet the one they love. it’s every day love, it’s quiet domestic romance, which is often the loudest and sweetest kind, and that is so so wonwoo.

☆ woozi:

Different Song For Me: woozi was honestly the hardest for me to pin, but the lyrics sold it for me. the idea that music embodies different emotions and acts as a comfort and strength in every mood. and the whole vibe makes me think of songs like circles and pinwheel which are close to woozi’s heart🥺

☆ dokyeom:

Yes Man: dude. just listen to this song and tell me it isn’t dokyeom personified. i don’t feel like i even have to explain but… “anything you want i’ll be your yes man” “i’ll take you anywhere, wherever it is i don’t care” “i’ll be your missing piece” goodbye😭😭 the all encompassing, exciting, ridiculously sweet kind of love this song depicts is the embodiment of dk and his big golden heart, that will readily open itself and is unafraid to show just how deeply he loves. mannnnn🤧

☆ mingyu:

If You Call Me: THIS ONE IS JUST VIBES ALONEEEEE which makes it harder for me to justify in words because it just?? makes sense?? and i consulted several people about this and they overwhelmingly agreed so it’s not just me🤣 the nostalgic rnb, the melodic raps in the verses… this song screams fools in love, heart on your sleeve and that’s SO MINGYU PLEASE 

☆ minghao:

Butterfly: i mean COME ON. the artistry of this song and the comparison of freeing yourself to fly like a butterfly is minghao to a T. not to mention the style of the song and the choreography would suit him so well. ugh. UGHHHH

☆ seungkwan:

That’s It: just one thing… the sass PLEASE ITS SO SEUNGKWAN😭 i don’t know how else to justify this, i just think if seungkwan walked into a room and p1harmony was there some witchcraft would play that’s it on the speakers idk. MMMMM IGEOJI-

☆ vernon:

Ayaya: dude. DUDE. this song is right up vernon’s alley. the stylistic autotune, the edgy dark verses, the chill yet powerful vibes. even some of the lyrics, about breaking out and fighting for your own life? ITS SO VERNON just listen to this song i swear you’ll understand

☆ chan:

Swagger: oh man. if i saw dino dance to a song like this you’d never see me shut up about it. “you know i ain’t shown a thing that’s my swagger” HELLO everything about this song, from the brass in the chorus and the groovy guitar in the verses makes me think of dino. he was honestly the easiest to pin this song is just MADE for him

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[padfootdaredmetoo]

Hello! I saw you opened requests... May I ask for a female character x Tommy Shelby?

Here's the plot: the protagonist wants to kill him cause he's responsible of her brother's death. She knows he's vulnerable due to Grace's death and she gets close to him taking advantage on his need to have someone beside. A night of love is the perfect moment in which she can carry out her plan, having him alone, disarmed and off guard.. (So NSFW is perfectly ok 😝)

Whether she ends up killing him or not is up to you 🍷 surprise me ✨

I'd just like to have the female protagonist on the "dominant" part. Like... In the show Tom is always the one who wants everything under his supreme control and many fics depict him as such ... Well, he gives me totally opposite vibes, if you know what I mean 😂

That's all ✨ I'm looking forward to reading this! ❤

This was a super fun request!!!! I hope I got what you mean..... I tried really hard. Honestly kind of a slut for sub Tommy. Never thought about it before- but - I might be in love.

Any way because I'm such a softy I made two ending options.... I'll let you all decide which one I was more into ;)

Warnings: dealing with loss, murder, gang type stuff, seduction with bad intentions, sex, oral sex fem receiving, orgasms, kinda kinky, hopefully hot

Eventually the moment he was dreading was clear in view. The large house came into sight making his stomach turn violently. As if sensing it Charlie started to kick up a fuss. His little cries for his mother doing nothing to settle the pain in his chest. 

Grace was dead. This house was horrible. Charlie seemed to loudly agree in his own way. So why did he come back? 

Appearances mostly. He needed to get his feet back on the ground and settle the situation. The Russians had a tight rope around his neck, if only they would pull a little tighter. The Italians were waiting in the shadows like hungry wolves. 

Charlie’s pudgy little hand tugged on the white collar of his shirt making him hate himself for thinking such things. 

He got Charlie settled back into the house, envious of the sleeping child next to him. He had no idea when the next time he would be able to rest. 

There was a lot of work to be done. 

______

Readers POV

Growing up in a mob family was not what most people expected. Your brothers carried an unhealthy amount of pressure, while you were completely ignored.

The Shelby - Italian feud had carefully made its way to your family. Your youngest brother was to prove himself to the family & organization by killing the ever annoying Thomas Shelby. Not a simple task by any means. 

You wished it was you that pulled the trigger, you wouldn't have missed. The aftermath of Grace Shelby’s body crumpling to the floor left you with two dead brothers, and an engagement to a man you hated. They fought hard to get out but it was no use. He went for a grand shooting in the middle of the room, your other brother's attempt to get him out was useless. Your stomach twisted as you knew taking a shot like that was a suicide attempt… Maybe this was his way out of the family business. Tears stung your eyes and you shook your head, surely he wouldn't have left the consequences on his siblings? 

You felt trapped by this grief, maddened by it. The way everyone reacted, especially your father, started a mass unraveling of your whole life. You became buried under harsh realizations and questions on how you were raised. Everything started to evaporate once they were dead, leaving you with a drive to fix the unfixable. You knew that there was no way out of your life's path, yet your mind was determined, spinning in blood lust. 

You laid in bed as the cool summer air caressed your skin. Mind engulfed by every bit of information you had collected about what had happened. The cocky smiles of their faces the last time you saw them slowly fading, replaced by the heavier, more traumatizing memory of their broken bodies being returned to your family. 

The rest of the crime families your father associated with thought it pathetic, and embarrassing. Out of shame or fear from the Shelby family, people started to try and back away from your father. This meant you were requested to marry into the Changretta family. You were given the task to clear the family name, strengthen bonds, bring the business back, all well someone else got to destroy Thomas Shelby….

A plan had started to form in the absence of sleep. They were your brothers, it was your family given the task, naturally it should be you to complete the task. If you could kill Thomas your family's reputation would be restored earning you enough praise to slip out of the unwanted marriage. Not to mention they would surely benefit from the division of the Shelby estate. 

You drape yourself in black fabric and sit in church everyday. Asking for forgiveness, asking for a direction forward. More than revenge, you wanted a way to escape all this life. Killing Thomas just seemed like the best way forward. Looking at the statue of Mother Mary in front of you, her eyes filled with something you’d never felt. You wanted her to tell you what to do. 

No clouds in the sky broke, sending a beam of light into the room. No one descended from the sky. No messages fluttering from the grand ceiling. 

Instead a group of girls sat in the back of the church attempting to speak in hushed whispers. You were annoyed at first, until you recognised one of the voices to be Ruth Berryman, a known friend of Ada Shelby. You listened as she described the family's peculiar way of grieving the loss of Grace. How Thomas had disappeared and would be returning to the public eye in a charity event hosted at his house. She went on to speculate that he’d hidden himself away to drown in women and opium. 

You didn't have any opium, but you were remarkably pretty when you wanted to be… All you needed to do was dress up and sneak in, then get Thomas alone.

A silence fell over the space as Elizabeth Gray made an entrance. You pulled your scarf around your head a little tighter as you watched her slender frame fall into a seat. She looked exhausted, you felt a strange sense of sadness for her. The image of your brothers flashing in your mind pushed that feeling down until it was unreachable. 

___________________

Your parents were more distant than ever, no one noticed you plotting away in your bedroom. As long as you were on top of your wedding planning no one paid you any notice. The loneliness started to seep into your bones again, making you feel weighed down. You poured another cup of coffee trying to shake the feeling off. Everyone would see you clearly once this was over…

The night of the event had come around. You had an entrance secured and a clear exit plan. 

You looked over your body in the gold framed mirror. The fabric rested heavily on your curves. You would never normally wear anything like this, and you couldn't escape the powerful feeling it gave you. Your body was displayed in a way that was elegant while also being undeniably sexy. You pinned your dark hair up and did your make up. 

You’d never seduced anyone before but looking over your final look you felt it shouldn't be too hard.

You pulled up to the large house, leaving your car down by the road. You were late enough that no cars were pulling up the drive to notice your descent on the house. Your long black wool coat covered you from chin to ankle, making you look a part of the woven night. 

You made your entrance under a fake name and joined the mess without anyone thinking twice about you. 

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Tommy POV

He wished that this event had been unnecessary. The effort it took to stand about moving from conversation to conversation was almost unbearable. His bones were on fire, head pounding, all he could do was pour more whiskey and hoped it would take the edge off. The night dragged on, until a woman caught his eye. 

She was tall, wrapped in a tight red dress, and had a look in her eye. The room seemed to be swallowed by her presence, the light bending to wrap around her. Her dark eyes held a gaze that made it hard to breathe. She walked over to him like this was her house, tall and proud, despite not being invited. 

“Mr. Shelby.” Her voice floated around him like smoke. She looked content as he held the silence between them, searching her eyes for what secrets they were holding. 

“I don’t believe we’ve met?”

“Y/N L/N” She held her hand out to him. He knew she was lying but he couldn't help but the wave of desire that crashed over him and holding her slender fingers in his hand. 

They chatted for a while, no mention of Grace, or work. He met everyone of her lies and questions with honesty. He watched as his answers spun around in her eyes, she seemed conflicted, but not surprised. He wanted to impress her, but she was unmovable, like stone. She conducted the conversation, and decided which of his answers she wanted to elaborate on. 

Things started to wind down, and he regretfully had to remove himself from her presence to wrap the evening up. She showed no interest in leaving, pouring herself another glass of whiskey. 

Polly set in on him about how stupid this was, but he shrugged it off. He knew that there was something this woman wanted to say to him, he was determined to figure it out. Everything about her was weighted heavily with significance. She was here for a reason, maybe because of the Russians, maybe the Italians, but he felt it was something above business. She had nothing vicious in her eyes, there was something she wanted desperately, but it wasn't violence. 

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Readers POV 

Thomas Shelby was an interesting man. He didn't try to step on your toes, he let you lead the conversation. Never mocking, always hanging on your words. His answers were not what you expected. He wasn't what you expected. Every time you touched him you felt something bigger than grief for the first time in so long. 

Eventually he took you into his study to wait while he wished his guests well. You listened as his family loudly made their way upstairs. Stumbling and laughing on the stairs. Elizabeth Gray’s voice carried into the office as she laughed and poked fun at another Shelby woman. 

You thought about snooping around his desk but you were stopped by the picture of a woman staring back at you. 

His wife's eyes found the words in the back of your head and twisted them painfully. She was dead, and the sadness in him was still very visible to someone who was grieving just the same. Dead at the hands of your brother. He flashed before you and you started to feel sick. 

It was either this or be married. Unfortunately your mind was already set. 

Thomas entered the room slowly, his eyes dragging over your lounging body. The couch was comfortable and the fire light only made everything seem more warm and  intimate. 

“Sit with me?” It was meant to be a question but it came out more like an order. He looked at you for a moment before sitting next to you. He was so close you could feel the cold air still attached to his suit jacket. 

You didn’t want to talk anymore. It would only make this harder for you in the long run. You needed to get him out of his jacket, make sure he didn't have any weapons still on him. 

You raised your hand to brush your fingertips along the short hair on the side of his head. He closed his eyes, and leaned into your touch, your heart gave a twinge as the fire light only made him look more tired. 

You were going to fuck up if you kept this up. You dragged your hand down and tugged on his jacket, he wordlessly removed it. 

“And the vest” You whispered, there was something in his eyes that made you hate yourself. A wetness started to pool between your legs, even your own body was betraying you. 

You pulled your skirt up your thighs and moved to straddle his lap. His hands went to your hips to help settle you into place. You felt the power of sitting here on his lap, his eyes heavy as he looked at you. 

“Do you want to kiss me?” You asked in a smoky tone. His eyes flashed in a way that made you feel like gravity had increased. You were falling into him more and more.

“Yes” His tone was breathy and you wished things were different as you studied him. He was so willing to let you take charge. You liked being seen. 

He waited patiently for your mouth to reach his, he let your lips take charge, and you deepened the kiss slowly. He was breathless, cheeks flushed, his hands were digging into your hips painfully. You loved the way he clung to your body, how badly he needed you to take his pain away. 

Your hand wrapped around the side of his neck causing him to moan. You pushed his head back to rest on the top of the couch exposing the length of his pale throat. You went in for a deeper kiss, holding his neck firmly in place you—----

Option one: 

Take your other hand up to your chest and pull the small knife from between your breasts. Quickly you drag it across the skin of his neck. He gasped into your mouth as the blood started to rush down his body. You looked into his eyes and admired the love you felt. 

“Thank you” He whispered softly. You held his body while he left this earth for something better. He slipped away so peacefully you knew that it must have been more of a favor to him than anything. 

The house was quiet and you made your way to the window behind the desk and slipped away into the night peacefully. Things went back to usual in your family so you decided it was in your best interest to move on. The war got worse, Tommy's brothers took over and his Aunt was determined to destroy your family. You had the money, so you ran away, unnoticed, placing as much distance between you and Birmingham as possible.

Option Two:

You stopped suddenly. Looking over his face.

“Tell me what it is.” He whispered, pupils blown out. You knew that it would be suicide to tell him the truth. Death seemed like a friend you would greet with open arms. Your vision was filled with the photo on his desk, his wife. His dead wife. The smaller photos of a little boy. Eyes bright, motherless. You pressed your head against his and took a shaky breath. 

“My brother - I - I came here to kill you.” You watched how his face didn't change. Stayed just as relaxed and calm. 

“What have you decided then?” He asked like he was asking if it was raining. You knew a part of him wishes you would go through with it, just like there was a part of you that would be more than happy to die at his hand. 

“I can’t do it.” You said feeling a weight lift off of you. 

“Why not?” His eyes were back in focus now searching you. 

“You feel different -” You couldn't explain it. He was different and it was intoxicating. “And you have a kid upstairs.” You shook your head. You would either die right here, or you would go home to die everyday beside your husband. Either way you’d finally made your choice. 

His big hands ran along your body and you could see him weighing his options carefully. 

“Be a shame if either of us died without fucking first eh?” 

You nodded at his crude words and your mouths met again instantly. 

You both fought for control at first, ripping each other's clothes off, hands groping frantically. You ended up falling off the couch landing flat on your back. The texture of the carpet was surprisingly soft and the heat from the fire kept you comfortable. He parted your legs, leaning down towards you. You gripped a handful of the longer hair at the top of his head and used all your strength to push his head where you wanted it. He let out a deep moan as you pressed his face into your hot flesh. He submitted entirely and ate you out like he was starved. Tongue caressing you coupled with the sharp suction created by his mouth had you writhing. 

“Ah yes. So good. Fuck -Tom” Your words came spiraling out of you as he worked you over. His eyes flashed up at you with a different kind of need. He wanted to make you happy, he wanted to know it made you happy. 

You were getting close, but you wanted to cum around him. You pushed his face off and he got up on his knees, heavy cock standing proudly. You wrapped your slender finger around him, the walls off your pussy fluttering at the size of him. God he was going to destroy you. You could see he was about to lose his patience with your hand, you were naked and strung out. It was his time to take charge. 

“Are you ready?” You asked him, tightening your grip on him, you wanted to push him further. 

“Yes” He moved toward you but you only squeezed him further causing him to moan. 

“See if I’m ready” You whispered into his ear like it was a dirty secret. You felt his fingers push into you slowly and his head dropped to rest on your shoulder. You let out a moan when his fingers rubbed against the spot you needed him the most. 

“Feels so good, so good at stretching me open” You whisper, feeling his jaw clench against your neck. You wanted to see his face but wouldn't push him. You had no idea what you were doing or why it felt this good. 

“Feel how wet you made me?” He let out a deep groan and you felt his cock twitch in your hand. 

“You think I'm wet enough?” 

“Yes” He answered out of breath. 

“Are you sure? You're so big” 

“Fuck - Yes” He was so far gone and you’d barley touched him. You were fairly confident that you could make him cum just like this, and it would still be the hottest thing that had ever happened to him. 

“You want to fuck me now?” You pulled his cock against your wet folds causing him to make a small strangled noise. 

You took that as the answer it was, lining the head of his cock up with your wet entrance you guided his hips forward. You expected him to take over, rip through you to find his release, take his revenge. Instead he followed the wordless directions of the hand you had placed on his hip. This time it was your turn to groan. He stretched you out so slowly, soon you were at your limit. Taking all of him was a beautiful and painful task. Guiding him to pull out and slowly move back in pleasure won over the pain and your hips moved to meet his shallow thrust.

“God, you fill me so well” You felt his body melt under the praise. You guided his hips in and out of you slowly feeling yourself slip away. The pace got quicker gradually and eventually he was fucking you with a stregth that ruined you for anyone else. 

There was only so much you could take before you demanded he touch you. His thumb circled your clit, his body pushing you somewhere it hadn't been before.

“Please, dont stop - Tom - Ah - youre going to make me cum - fuck baby make me cum” Words spiraled out of your moth and he drank each one of them down. Fucking you harder, he took you over the edge, your body swallowing him. Walls rhythmically contracting pull him over the edge spilling inside you. He rode both of the orgasms out before collapsing on you. Your arms held him tightly, not wanting him or the feeling inside you to go. 

He broke your hold and held himself above you. His hand came up to caress the side of your neck and you took one last look of his blue eyes before closing your own. You tilted your chin up exposing his neck. You waited for his other hand to embrace your neck, for him to take your life. 

“Promise you won’t bring harm to me or my family.” 

Your eyes flew open and met his gaze. “I promise” He gave you a nod then pulled out of you slowly. His mouth moved to suck a deep mark into your throat before he pushed himself back inside you. After pulling another orgasm from you he cleaned the both of you up. 

“What are your plans for next friday?” He asked as you both sat on the floor in front of the couch. You were sipping whiskey and smoking cigarettes unsure of what to make of the situation that just happened. 

“I’m supposed to be getting married.” 

“For business or love?” 

“Business, my brothers couldn't kill you and that led to a lot of problems.” 

His face twisted briefly remembering the problems it caused him as well. He was quiet and you felt yourself yearning to apologize. 

“We both lost a lot because of this. I don't even know who started all of  it but I’d like to end it. Leave all of it, everyone and thing behind if I could” He studied you carefully before lighting another cigarette. 

“How bout I make a counter offer then?” His words hit you like a truck. Surely he couldn't be serious. 

“I’ll marry you. Take the territory that would have been handed down to your brothers. In return you can do what you like within reason and the fighting stops.”

You thought about it for a long moment. You thought about all the plans everyone was making, how much destruction was about to move into action.  

“Can I do what I like to you?”You asked in a cheeky tone, desperate to stop thinking about everything. You watched his gaze get hungry. 

“Most certainly” 

“I won't share you. With anyone, ever” The words were out of your mouth before you realized what you said. He may not love you, this may be for business, but the thought of someone else touching him and having him like that caused your blood to boil.

“Somehow I don't think that will be a problem” The corner of his mouth pulled up into a ghostly smile. 

You clink your glasses together and fell back into a comfortable silence, your head resting on his shoulder. 

___

They did get married, it was a business deal that ended the feuding. (Saving John) 

She freaks out about how to look after Charlie because her parents were so distant towards her growing up that she has no idea what to do. Polly and her bond over this. Charlie almost immediately gets attached to her. Eventually she proves herself to the rest of the family. 

She takes good care of Tommy, giving him someone to trust. But she's very opinionated and they fight a lot. Its explosive and usually ends with them fucking against any surface. She just wants the family to be protected and doesn't like taking big risks. So they balance each other out a little. Tommy’s calm and she’s so tired of being calm that the first chance she gets to lay into someone she takes it. 

The first time she had to kill someone it was to protect Charlie. She broke down after the situation because she almost did that to Tommy. Everything she had now - a family that loved her and respected her, a husband that paid attention / was kind to her, a little boy that called her mum and ran to her every time he was scared - She got all of that from Tommy - He has to hold her for hours before she calms down. That's when they realize that they really love each other.

Tags list: @tommydoesntpayforsuits @misselsbells06 @kpopgirlbtssvt

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[amphibious-thing]

Hi! I'm working on a queer history project, and since you seem to have pretty good knowledge of D'Eon's life, I'd love to know if you have any thoughts on which moments of her life would be the most painting/drawing worthy! I need it to capture her Vibe tm

Ok I've been thinking about this and I have a few possibilities:

The Fencing Match Between d'Eon and Saint-Georges

This is almost too obvious. But it's iconic. She was wearing her iconic black dress. It shows her as the very capable fencer she was. It's just very d'Eon.

On the 9th of April 1787 d'Eon fenced Saint-Georges at Carlton House.

The London Chronicle gave the following account of the match in their 12-14 April, 1787 issue:

Mademoiselle D’Eon exhibited a curious spectacle at the assault which was performed before the Prince of Wales last Monday. The novelty of a Lady in petticoats engaging the most experienced and able masters of the noble science of defence, excited universal pleasantry. Those who were not perfectly acquainted with the Chevalier’s history stood in amazement, and even such as had formerly known her en culottes, were not a little surprized at the skill she displayed in fencing with Mr. St. George. Her petticoats did not incommode her in the least, and it was very clear that this retired Captain of Dragoons is much more expert at the riporte than a curtsey, and handles a foil with more grace than she does a fan. The assault upon the whole proved highly entertaining, and the satisfaction of the company was not a little encreased by the affability and engaging condescension of the Prince of Wales, than whom no man possesses more the spirit of elegant hospitality, and the captivating manners of the polished gentleman.

John Buchan Telfer reprints the following contemporary newspaper article in his biography on d’Eon:

The most remarkable occurrence of the fencing match at Carlton House was the assault between Monsieur de Saint-George and Mademoiselle D'Eon, the latter though encumbered, as she humorously declared herself, with three petticoats, that suited her sex much better than her spirit, not only parried skilfully all the thrusts of her powerful antagonist, but even touched him by what is termed a coup de temps, which all his dexterity could not ward off. We hear that a celebrated painter has undertaken to hit off the semblance and attitude of the hero and heroine in this very interesting scene. Mademoiselle D'Eon had modesty enough, on her hitting Monsieur de Saint-George, to set it down to his complaisance; but the latter candidly declared that he had done all in his power to ward against it. A gentleman present assures us that nothing could equal the quickness of the repartee, especially considering that the modem Pallas is nearly in her sixtieth year, and had to cope with a young man equally skilful and vigorous.

The painter referred to in this article is Alexandre-Auguste Robineau who painted this depiction of the match.

[The Fencing-Match between the Chevalier de Saint-George and the Chevalier d'Eon, c. 1787-9 by Alexandre-Auguste Robineau, via the Royal Collection Trust.]

If you're going to do this one I'd consider using the Mather Brown portrait of Saint-Georges as a reference. Saint-Georges himself said "c'est si resemblant c'est affreux" [it's so lifelike it's frightful]. (The Chevalier de Saint-Georges by Gabriel Banat p342)

[Monsieur de St. George, c. 1788, print by William Ward after Mather Brown, via The British Museum.]

A Different Fencing Match

To mix it up you could depict her fencing Mrs. Bateman whom d'Eon had a professional partnership with. D’Eon complimented Bateman’s fencing skills describing her as “a youngling in her nest, that would rise and support the honour of female heroism in England.” (Diary or Woodfall's Register, 18 Jan 1793)

On Thursday the 30th of May 1793 Mrs. Bateman held a benefit night at the King’s Theatre in Haymarket. There was a performance of All in the Wrong, Mrs. Bateman played Lady Restless. The Morning Chronicle reports “After the play, the Chevalier D’Eon in generosity of friendship, displayed her wonderful talent in fencing. She first pushed carte and tierce with her youthful imitator, Mrs. Bateman.” (31 May 1793)

[Mrs Bateman, print c.1793 by Marino or Mariano Bovi (Bova), after Ludwig Guttenbrun, via the National Portrait Gallery]

You could also depict her fencing a gentleman in her stays and petticoats. D'Eon finding woman's clothes restrictive when fencing started to strip down to allow for more mobility. This incident caused a bit of a commotion in the English press.

After her fencing display with Mrs. Bateman at the King’s Theatre in Haymarket d'Eon fenced with a gentleman, in preparation she “pulled off her jacket, and thus stripped to her stays, with her handkerchief loose over them, and short petticoats that did not come half way down her legs”. (The Times, 31 May 1793)

The Sun was scandalised writing that “the indecent circumstance of her stripping herself to her stays, preparatory to her fencing, gave a very general disgust.” And while The Times conceded credit to “the Lady’s science and activity” they were horrified “to see an old masculine woman of sixty thus attired, and publicly exposing herself on the stage,” declaring that it was “an indecency which we shall never suffer to pass by without a very severe animadversion.” (The Sun, 31 May 1793; The Times, 31 May 1793)

Her Presentation at Versailles

After d'Eon returned to France in 1777 she was presented to the King and Queen at Versailles. While she had already been telling people she was a woman before this point and was already legally acknowledged to be a woman this was important because it was the first time she was being publicly acknowledged by Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette as a woman in a formal context.

On the 23rd of November 1777 Mémoires secrets pour servir à l'histoire de la République des Lettres en France reported:

Il doit y avoir aujourd'hui un concours de monde prodigieux à Versailles. Ensin la présentation du Chevalier d'Eon represent son sexe véritable, qui est celui de femme, annoncée depuis longtems, va s'effectuer dans son nouveau costume. Mlle. d'Eon continuera à porter la croix de St. Louis attachée à son côté [Today there must be a prodigious concourse of people at Versailles. Thus the presentation of the Chevalier d'Eon represents his real sex, which is that of woman, announced for a long time, will take place in his new costume. Mlle d'Eon will continue to wear the cross of St. Louis attached to her side]*

In the weeks leading up to the event d'Eon was prepared by Marie Antoinette's marchande de modes Mademoiselle Bertin. Bertin worked not only on d'Eon's dress but to teach her how to move in it. At the French court women were required to wear the grand habit de cour which was a lot for d'Eon to get used to:

La plus grande peine de M.ˡˡᵉ Bertin fut de me faire attraper la marche. la demarche, & la contremarche d'une femme à la Cour, de me faire avancer & reculer noblement en robe longue & deplyèe sur un vaste panier qui à lui seul remplissoit la monitié de ma chambre. Mais l'aimable & doucereuse Bertin aprés s'etre insinueé fort avant dans mon amitié, me fit avancer & réculer comme elle voulut, elle me fit faire toute ce quelle jugea convenable aux habitudes, aux usages & à la décence qu'on demandoit en moi. [The greatest difficulty for Mademoiselle Bertin was to make me learn the march, dismarch, & countermarch of a woman of the Court, to make me move forward & backward nobly in a long gown spread over an enormous hoop which on its own filled half of my chamber. But the kind & sweet Bertin after being strongly insinuated in my friendship before, made me more forward & back as she willed, she made me do all that she thought proper to the habits customs & decency that was required of me.]**

D'Eon complained that the first time Mademoiselle Bertin dressed her it took four hours and and ten minutes:

Je vous dirai que ma premiere toilette entre les mains de la chaste Bertin & de ses modestes Aides-de Camp, fut accomplie en moins de quatre heures dix minutes! juger de mon tourment & de ma patience! [I will tell you that my first toilette at the hands of the chaste Bertin & her modest Aides-de-Camp, was completed in less than four hours ten minutes! Judge my torment & my patience!]**

In repose to d'Eon's complaining Mademoiselle Bertin told her:

Mon brave capitaine ne jurez pas. Le jour que vous serez presentée au Roi & à la Renie, vous serez bien heureuse, si je ne vous fais pas lever à quatre heures du matin, pour être prête à une heure aprés midi [My brave captain do not curse. The day that you will be presented to the King & to the Queen, you will be very happy, if I do not make you rise at four in the morning to be ready at one in the afternoon]**

Of course we know d'Eon was wearing her cross of St. Louis but we unfortunately don't have a detailed description of her presentation gown. In her autobiographical writings d'Eon says it was made of embroidered white satin. Kimberly Chrisman-Campbell in her article Dressing d'Eon comments that this seems odd as "etiquette stipulated that only debutantes in mourning could wear white, rather than black, which was reserved for presentation at court, mourning, and some religious habits in the eighteenth century." She suggested d'Eon may be "literally whitewashing" history but concedes that it is possible that her "presentation coincided with one of the frequent and somewhat arbitrary periods of court mourning." (p104)

During the time d'Eon spent at Versailles she had to wear both formal and informal dress as dictated by the Court calendar. She commented that "Le deshabillé me convient fort, mais quand il ma faut porter le grand habbillement [sic] avec ajustement & parure c'est pour moi un grand tourment" [The informal dress suited me very well, but when I had to wear the formal dress with accessories and jewels, it was a great torment for me]**.

*this was translated by google translate. If anyone wants to add a better translation I'd love that.

**All of these quotes are from d'Eon's autobiographical writings which are all quoted and translated in Dressing d'Eon by Kimberly Chrisman-Campbell.

[cebwrites]

Hey there, how is it going ?

There's a man in my work place that makes me feel very uncomfortable and I'm not sure how to deal with it :(

I was wondering if I could suggest headcanons for how Corazon and Law would react/handle it if his partener was in the the same situation as me

I hope it's fine

oh my goodness anon, i’m so sorry that’s happening to you, if you ever want to chat or vent about this my dms are always open, dear! i’ve been in similar situations and the dread, the discomfort, anything else you’re feeling right now, is scary but also acknowledged <:’) i turned them into drabbles for the sake of flow and formatting, i hope that’s okay with you!! hopefully these can help distract you from the situation, if not provide some catharsis, sending all the love and good vibes to you ;;; 💕💓💞

(law’s part turned out a lot longer than expected so i decided to make a separate post for him that you can find HERE it’s also a lot darker though so i’d tread with caution;; )

Helping their s/o with someone uncomfortable (Corazon)

gn reader, hurt/comfort, a ton of fluff to make up for it cw: creepy aggressive behavior, mild depiction of a panic attack (if anyone wants me to tag anything else please dm me to lmk) word count: 0.8k

It’s a lovely day for a walk out on the town, you've been planning planning this date with your boyfriend for a while now and you were positivity ecstatic.

You only had to drop some things some things off at work and then you’d be off, doing tons of lovey-dovey (and clumsy) things with your beloved for the whole day! 

Your schedules rarely lined up so perfectly, so the two of you were determined to make it worth it with a whole laundry list of fun, nauseatingly sweet activities to do, starting with a rendezvous picnic in the park followed by kite-flying before it got too sunny, then ice cream; you continue to go through the list in your head, humming a sweet little tune to yourself when all those rosi-y thoughts stop short when you see him.

A man standing outside the shop you work at, the same man that been accosting you at your workplace for almost a week.

Fear builds in your heart as you duck behind a stall to avoid being seen. You consider ringing up a co-worker on your Den Den Mushi to hand in the paperwork for you, but that thought dies as soon as you turn and he’s standing right next to you.

“__-chan! I haven’t seen you at work in a while, where have you been??”

He singsongs and you instinctively take a step back, customer service smile already in full swing, with a not-so-discreet uncomfortable undertone.

“Oh, I’ve just been busy, you know. Planning things, and whatnot.”

“..Planning?”

“With my boyfriend! Planning things, with my boyfriend. We’re actually supposed to be going out today, so I really should-..”

You trail off, hands tightly clutching the paper bag withholding work details you should’ve handed in ages ago if it weren’t for this creep. Your throat feels tight, as if your ribcage had shrunk three sizes, you stare at that man with an unreadable expression, like a deer caught in headlights.

You were surrounded by people on a well-known street and it was about to be midday, why exactly were you so scared.  …Moreover, did he get closer?

Just as the man opens his mouth again and you feel like you want to cry, a fist extends from behind you and launches your unwanted pursuer across the paved canal, disrupting people’s otherwise quiet mornings but very will saving you.

“Sorry, my darling, did I keep you waiting long?”

His arms are around you in an instant and Rosinante lifts you with a little spin. Oh, Rosi. Your adorable, clumsy, endearing, ex-navy boyfriend Rosinante. There’s a distinct char in his scent - he must’ve had another ‘accident’ on the way. You love this man so much you simply must kiss him. So you do.

“Silly sweetheart, you were supposed to be waiting for me,” you laugh into his shoulder, trying to wipe the tears away before he can see.

Rosinante does, though, he always does. “I missed you, dear. I couldn’t wait any longer to see you.”

You huff a joyless laugh and gesture for him to set you down - the two of you were kind of making a scene, punching a guy into a wall and whatnot - pecking him on the cheek before he can stand upright again. He flushes pink, just like the hearts that adorn his charming little button-up. The resounding chime of your giggles only adds to this.

“Rosi?” you hum, hand held snugly in his as the both of you walked.

“Yes, dearest?”

“I think I’m a little tired to do everything on our list today. Do you think we can postpone?”

“Of course, mi más querido tesoro. We can plan another day out for us anytime the sun shines high or the moon glows brightly for us.” 

You roll your eyes and just how cheesy your boyfriend can get; Rosi dips low to press a smooch to the back of your hand so you grab him by his hat strings for a surprise kiss before he can fully stand up again and the man spooks so badly he falls up a nearby staircase, disturbing a surly looking cat on the window sill with his clamor, and ends up with more than just a few boo-boos worth kissing.

‘They’d need antiseptic!’ 

You can hear a kid with his spotted North-Blue hat with a temper not unlike that cat in the back of your mind, a fond smile already spreading on your face as you pull your boyfriend out of the pile he’s made of himself, dusting the clumsy clown off.

“__, I love you so much. How is it that you put up with me?” Rosinante mentions as he gags a wad of cat fur out of his mouth, sitting on the steps, seemingly unaware of the flames he’d stoked in your heart and face, only grateful that he didn’t spontaneously catch fire this time. 

By the time he looks back, you’ve already walked ahead, so he scrambles to his feet, “__! Wait for me!”

You turn to him, smiling, rivalling the afternoon sun’s very rays with it, 

“You’ll have to be faster than that if you want to share that triple scoop sundae with me, Rosi~”

[necroangelz]

HIA YOU SEEM SO NICE JAJAAHDHEJWV- I remember following you from one of my Tumblr accounts (I have like 4 and have forgotten about the passwords of most of them)- So you may know me from there ig!!

Actually I came back here because I wanted to ask something- What is "Needy Streamer Overload" about?? I keep finding the game pretty intriguing and since you had it on your layout I thought I could ask you- (I also felt that it was a perfect opportunity to try to socialize a bit and meet more people on Tumblr-) Sorry if I'm bothering you! ^^

@.mistysaur

AWWW THANKIEEE 🥹🥹 and yeah I'm pretty sure i know uu from there!!

oh boy. let me see if i can explain NSO without dropping 19 paragraphs LOL

also, don't worry, uur not bothering me at all!! i love when ppl send me asks bc i have a hard time talking to ppl first, so this is also a good time for me to socialize!

ramble under the cut >:3

anyway, at its core, NSO is a game about managing the streamer career of a very mentally ill girl. the player is p-chan, the manager of their ' girlfriend ' Ame or k-angel/omgkawaiiangel, and they basically tell Ame what to do throughout the day. they can hang out, spend time together, play games, go on the internet, go outside etc. doing certain actions gives Ame ideas fur streams. there are many types of streams uu can do, each streaming category has level 1 up to level 5 streams, streaming is what gets uu followers. certain streams can get uu more followers but they would also increase ame's stress...

the player also has to manager her stats, her affection, stress, follower count and mental darkness. there's not much story because the whole game is centered around the players actions if ya get what i mean. the endings center around the effects of ame's stats if that makes sense.

NSO is a very fun game (i guess it's obvious that i love it lmao) the gameplay could get a little repetitive bc it's all the same but the graphics and music are so so cool. the interface is like this little computer and stuff and uu see Ame through the webcam screen and uu select her daily activities through app icons. the music is so catchy and perfectly fits the vibe of the game.

NSO is also a good portrayal of the toxic side of the internet—during some of the worst endings, ame spirals in front of the camera during a stream, and instead of having sympathy for her, her fans are quick to turn on her and dogpile on her instead. laughing at her misery as if she wasn't a person at all. they spread rumors, talk about how they always hated her from the start, doxx her, and then move on to the next entertaining internet personality with no loyalty to ame at all. it shows how people online can become cruel to each other because, well, it's all online, so they believe nothing is important or significant. NSO also depicts parasocial relationships, internet addiction, and wanting to get attention, love, and gratification from the internet. in general i love how NSO portrays the internet because everything feels so... real. the stream chats, the comments under ame's tweets, even Ame's texts to the player, they all feel so natural. like they're all actually said by people who spend way too much time on the internet and hence use slang and ways of speech that are common online. i always felt really bothered that mainstream media, especially those made by adults, SUCKED at portraying the internet. NSO isn't like that

so ya that's nso :3 if one thinks that NSO is something one is interested in, and one is sure they won't be triggered by it (bc yeah this game is super heavy) please by all means check it out!! i don't have any playthroughs to recommend since i don't watch playthroughs, but there's def some fun ones on yt! or buy it!

[mysaldate]

Curious but

What mythological creatures would you give some of the AFK Arena characters? Or what they give you the vibes of?

Ok so I know this is likely for the anti-honesty ask but I can't help but answer this genuinely because hoo boy, let's go!

Since AFK Arena has so many characters, I will list as many as I can without really going deeper into my reasoning. If you have more questions, feel free to ask! Also, I will be tossing in a lot of mythological creatures from all over but I will just say up front that I am not overly familiar with most mythologies out there and I'm also into DnD quite a lot lately so that will influence my opinion a lot.

And the ones who are canonically mythological creatures already won't count unless I have a different hc for them (except Vedan, but that's just like... a must).

Note: Pygmalion originally referred to a specific painting woman that came to life but later on, G. B. Shaw used it in a more general, metaphorical meaning of a personified piece of art.

A special case will be Cecilia. I would see Cecilia as a sort of creature associated with vengeance but not in the Erinyes or furies sense. Something more methodic, systematic. Ayakashi akashi comes to mind but that's not correct either since, from my understanding of them, they do not tend to be malicious for the most part.

The vampires range from those who view their condition as a necessary evil, through those who suffer through it, and all the way to those who enjoy their condition as is, you can probably guess who is who.

As for the dullahan, I know they are usually depicted as headless horsemen but it is less about the exact depiction for me and more just... vibes I guess? Like, the dullahan are not explicitly evil, usually, they are searching for something that was valuable to them in life or protecting a certain area. They are lost souls with a calling before anything else.

Golems were created for a specific task while pygmalion exists for its artistic value.

Valkyries are the only ones where I stuck to the specific gender originally associated with them because I mean, come on. It's valkyries, the whole point is that they're powerful amazing warrior women.

Fairies and sprites are more mischievous and free-spirited but not all of them are very fond of unexpected visitors so it felt right that some of them are shyer than others.

I don't think I need to explain the succubus/incubus tier, I'll just say I didn't expect not ending up with a single guy in there, that surprised me too. But just to be perfectly clear, I could definitely imagine most of my favorites in there regardless of gender.

Angels range from helpful and kind to steadfast and brave, and everything in between.

Fallen angels are either tragically robbed of their home and innocence or they are the evilest of them all, those who chose corruption despite having the light within their grasp.

Devils are methodical and systematical in their evil, they like to have things in order and won't cause random destruction on a whim.

Dragons have a deep sense of pride as well as an innate desire to gather the things they consider valuable – be it money, symbols of recognition, or sentimental objects. They are also fiercely protective of things and people they value.

Merfolk and sirens are two sides of the same coin, blessed with natural charm and attractiveness and using it to either bring joy or suffering to their surroundings.

Poltergeist is a powerful undead presence often driven by the thirst for revenge or deep regret, and they come in all flavors from depressed to vengeful.

Furies are creatures of revenge and vengeance but they can be chaotic and they often go overboard and don't ever stop.

[jax-is-rattled]

Like A Death In The Hall

Wrote this as a fic bc I'm trying to hype myself up for posting more fics. And it gives me practice for writing Copia and the band ghouls interacting with bw bc I'm a cringe ass nae nae baby and I'm mushing them together like a kid playing with dolls. ANYWAY THIS BITCH IS GONNA BE ROUGH SO BUCKLE UP. AND READ THE WARNINGS.

CW// forced "medical procedure"?, suicidal ideation, self harm, body horror, very graphic depictions of said body horror, serious case of the ouchies, whole lotta hurt, self image issues, bws just not having a funky fresh day yall

Just be warned in general

Sister Imperator had told the skittish ghoul that she needed to tell him something very important. That it was about his job as the cardinals assistant. So she called him down to said cardinals office, pulling him from dinner where he sat at the opposite end of the table from the ghouls and into another chair in the dim office.

The other ghouls were still a bit skeptical of him and he was terrified of them. The wound of theirs was still open so they had the right to be angry and skeptical. Scared even. The three older ghouls had most of their other band mates stripped away from them, sent back to the pit or killed presumably, and were forced to adapt to new ghouls. And the current fire ghoul, Dew, wasn't even supposed to be a fire ghoul. Or so he's heard. So when they pulled August from a watery grave only to get a fire ghoul, the band was a bit nervous that Dews time was up as well. That he wasn't good enough to keep and needed replacing like the others.

He thought about it on the way down to the office. It had been almost a year, but he still didn't blame them, not one bit. But it would be nice to just sit down and explain to them that he was just an assistant, nothing more nothing less. They wouldn't have it though. Dew snapped and swung when he'd get too close or talk too loudly or did much with the others really. Mountain refused to acknowledge his existence, would talk around him if he had to talk in the general vicinity of him. The earth ghoul talked to the others perfectly fine, just not him. Aether was sweet, though. Checked up on him and all that jazz, but he seemed like he didn't want to get too close to him. He couldn't blame them but it did sting a bit. The others were kind to him, he vibed pretty well with the water ghoul, Rain. It was relieving that at least someone was ok with him existing in the wing.

He hadn't even realized he was standing infront of the door to the office until someone opened it for him, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to where he was. He shuffled into the musty office, not exactly expecting to see Dew sitting in the chair next to where Sister Imperator was pointing for him to sit. He was wondering why he hadn't seen the ghoul staring daggers into his forehead at the table earlier. Guess this answered his question. The door closed behind him. The way Sistor was looking at him had his hair standing on end. The Cardinal waved happily at him from where he stood next to Sister, so he waved back just as happy, if not a bit confused, as he sat.

"The cardinal doesn't need a fire ghoul as an assistant-" Sister said, rather bluntly as she arranged papers on the desk. August could practically feel his heart fall out his ass at that. "Cool, so why the fuck am I here?" Dew butted in with a huff of annoyance. "If you'd let me continue you'd know." Sister snapped back, "ahem, we don't need a fire ghoul burning important paperwork, but the Cardinal enjoys your company," August visibly relaxed at that.

"So we're changing your element."

He didn't quite understand what that entailed other than the obvious, but the way that Dew sucked all the air out of the room through his teeth and went pale as snow and the Cardinal looked like he had been shot, it wasn't a good thing. "Wh-what uh what are you changing him to, Sister?" The Cardinal sputtered out in a rush.

"Water."

He felt like he was going to puke.

His mind completely turned off. He heard Dew and the Cardinal argue for him but he didn't understand a word. He gleamed a loud 'was I not enough proof that this isn't a good idea?' and a 'he's harmless he can't even keep a flame!' but that was it before he was being dragged out of his chair by the old era ghouls that he hadn't even seen when he walked in. He was too shocked to fight back as he was pulled out the door and it was shut, closing him off from the conversation he didn't even get a word in.

He opened his mouth to plead to them to let him go as they dragged him down the halls, but nothing came out. So he thrashed. He kicked and twisted and snapped and bit but all it got him was a rush of quintessence dragging his mind into a pit of inky black as his body went slack.

He doesn't remember much of the ritual. Brief flashes of red and the smell of fire thay were quickly overtaken by deep indigos and violets. And the smell of lake water. Sharp and cold. The colors and smells were quickly drowned out by the searing pain that zapped through his body before he was out again.

When he woke up in his own room, he felt like he had been struck by lightning. Like someone had cracked him open and taken a hand mixer to all his insides. He felt like he was being rearranged from the inside out. And in all actuality? He was right. He was being rearranged from the inside out. On top of that he was ice cold. His teeth chattered as he tried to pull himself under the blankets he was unceremoniously dropped on. It felt like the hardest thing he's ever done with how little energy he had. He felt like he was dying.

After an hour of trying to warm himself under a blanket and failing, gasping and whimpering through the pain, he remembered the bathroom he had connected to his room through his haze of pain. A searing hot bath felt like the only lifeline he had left. There was a sharp throb under his horns and he practically threw himself off the bed, getting tired and angry over the pain and the cold. As soon as his feet hit the floor he felt like was about to crumble like a kicked sandcastle as an even more intense pain wracked through him from the tip of his horns to the end of his tail. He wiped out his nightstand when he stumbled, gasping as he tried to steady himself on the wall. He continued his struggle to the bathroom as the room spun around him.

"Dying. I'm dying aren't I?" He thought to himself as he slammed the door open and collapsed to the floor. He wanted to die at this point. They should have just killed him and got a new ghoul. His mouth felt like he was chewing on bricks and glass. His teeth hurt. his horns felt like they were about to either fall off or explode. Were his hands always this pale? Fuck he was so cold. He pulled himself up by the edge of the sink. As soon as he saw himself in the mirror he felt like screaming. Crying. Anything to get the anguish out. His skin and the tips of his hair was pale as a sheet and his mouth was dripping with that pitch black blood that pumped through his veins. Those golden honey colored eyes swirled with ice blues. He doesn't know what the fuck was looking back at him in that mirror, but it wasn't him. That's not him. He isn't him anymore.

He wasn't the same fire ghoul the Cardinal loved and grew attached to.

The sharp throb in his horns from earlier came back ten fold, almost knocking him over. And his eyes landed on his horns. They looked weird against his hair and the splitting skin at the base.

Those aren't his anymore either.

They had to go.

He wrapped his hands around one of those beautiful golden horns that he loved so much. And he pulled. He pulled and pulled and when the horn finally snapped off in his hand, the wave of relief almost had him sobbing. But there was one more horn. He repeated with the second one, but it wouldn't budge. He thought about slamming his head onto the porcelain of the sink to break it, but before he could put it into action it finally gave way.

He managed to stumble from the sink to the side of the shower and crank the hot water on as high as it would go. It's the only way he'd take showers normally. He loved how hot the water could get in his room. But as soon as he slipped under the water, still in his clothes, he felt like he was being dissolved in acid. He screamed. That hot water felt like searing hot razors taking him apart down to his bones, flaying him open and laying him out. Skinning him alive. And when he opened his eyes he realized it was. His ash gray skin sloshed off him in thin sheets to reveal soft pale skin and fur. If this didn't kill him he was going to do it himself.

He just wanted to be warm again.

There was a knock on his door and Dews surprisingly quiet lilt drifted under the door but he couldn't understand it. He did the only thing he knew was left. His voice was rough and his throat was raw from screaming, but he managed to call out a single word.

"Help."

[lovetaled-a]

1 and 3 !! <3

book you’ve reread the most times?

i think catching fire by suzanne collins ! my roleplay days barely missed my hunger games phase in high school that was very much my emotional support series. i would still consider it overall to be the strongest in YA that i've read ( or having the most relevant/mature breadth ) for the themes it utilizes and the speculative element of the society depicted. it also spawned that whole dystopian YA craze,  while none of the other additions came close. the depth of the themes, the lines, the romance subplot that was perfectly fit in the scope of a greater story ..  the friends to lovers,  the unlikely allies,  the fake dating because if we don't our families will die but oops one of us has actual feelings  ..  and i would say stylistically,  the irony that the author implied by the games being twistedly-absorbing to an audience that you actively take part in while reading really resounds with me.  i feel like catching fire even more than the other the two books showed the revolutionary aspect in the series the most,  introduced the characters i love ( finnick )  and is a strong example of a second book in a trilogy,  part of the reason i see that trend happening of me favoring the sequel in most of my favorite series.  never mind that it was tragic and disturbing and didn't exactly end happily ..  i'm sensing a pattern here because the other book i've read the most is clockwork angel.  for the plot.

( the plot: )

3. what is your favourite genre?

for the most part,  fantasy !  gotta have that magical component to a story for me to be really involved,  especially when it involves fairytale or mythology tropes and reworks them in an interesting way.  however ..  i do not like high fantasy in any respect.  can’t do asoiaf,  anything sanderson,  or those stories with too much worldbuilding and detail that bogs down my enjoyment of simpler tropes and characterization,  which is why my fantasy reading mostly stays in the YA category.  i also really enjoy a good romance/slice of life vibe and would say that’s my comfort genre.  and for classic literature i am into gothic romance.  works by the brontës,  mary shelley and other romantic era authors/poets,  old monster novels,  paranormal romance,  gothic feminist pieces  ..  love that stuff.  and finally my area of expertise with my lit degree so far is regency fiction/romance.  a subgenre i will never give up and hope to do my thesis on !

[nyx-b-log]

Parallel Hells by Leon Craig - Review

read: oct 2022

goodreads link here

content warnings: references to rape, gore, transphobia, homophobia, anti-semitism, sexism, and mass death, plus depictions of consensual kink, drug use, death (in the singular), and satanic rituals. these aren't all in each of the stories, but they do crop up.

if you want to try out her writing, two of her stories from this collection (in slightly different forms than published) are available here and here.

rating: 4 stars

summary:

a short story collection, featuring horror and horror-adjacent stories. very queer, often leans gothic.

opinion:

it's really good!

this isn't normally my kind of scene (short stories and/or horror) but this was pretty accessible thanks to the minimal level of gore.

rather than the horror coming from blood and guts flying everywhere (though there is some of that in unfinished and unformed), there's a sense of the uncanny that lingers throughout, that there's an unknown and terrifying world just out of sight but never far from mind. from the illness-induced hallucinations in the opening suckers to the house that never seems to make up its mind where the rooms are supposed to be in raw pork and opium (linked above) to everything about the last story saplings, it's rarely frightening but always unsettling.

but, unusually, there are some stories which have happy endings. not in that the monster gets vanquished (there's rarely a 'monster' to speak of), but that life goes on, the main character takes risks that may or may not turn out well beyond the scope of the story, or that they break free from whatever has been tormenting them since before the story began. though it's occasionally a sad read, it's never despairing or depressing. there's hope here, and it's appreciated.

there are thirteen stories (could it have been any other number, really), and they cover a range of settings and time periods. some modern (raw pork and opium, saplings, the bequest), others in the vague past (unfinished and unformed, a wolf in the temple), often in very specific settings like oxford uni in lick the dust or the house in pretty rooms.

transformation and generational trauma were two themes that stuck out to me, but i feel like this is the kind of collection which different people will relate to in different ways. living both queer and jewish crops up more than once, as do the effects of complex romantic relationships, two things which i suspect will speak to others a lot more than they did to me.

in terms of queer rep: every main character is queer (mostly queer women) and there are trans women abound. gay men and nonbinary folks also make their appearances, but the focus is definitely on queer women specifically. there's also normalised kink and bdsm, with it cropping up in a few stories and never being shamed at any point. it's welcomed with or without the queer link, too.

the writing itself is also great, with lots of precise word choices and clever depth woven into each story in a way that makes me want to read the whole thing again just to pull out those details i missed the first time. there's a slightly old-fashioned vibe to the whole thing too which i really appreciated.

the only one which didn't really click with me was pretty rooms, which no matter how hard i think about i'm not sure i understand. it's the most abstract of the thirteen, which doesn't help matters.

favourites for me are probably lick the dust (for that damn hand alone) and no dominion (which sets out to do one specific thing and does it perfectly).

if you're in the market for a short collection of queer gothic tales, this is for you!

[mountain-man-cumeth]

What did you mean by devs being American causing an issue with worldbuilding? Your essay was good reading, I'm just a little confused. Can't an American write fantasy inspired by roman history?

ofc they can, i didnt wanna go off on a tangent as the post was long enough but i can elaborate here:

vesuvia is not rome. i mean when you look at bgs, the visage seemed to be lifted from greek/persian architecture 600 BC-400 AD. blending of these two characteristics is actually very fascinating and accurate to how civilizations evolve. the time period they were going for cant really be pin pointed as easily tho, since some inspiration seem to be taken from 1400 AD baroque (palace gardens, sign posts, etc) and i dont think its an issue either, there are 2000 y/o structures that people still inhabit to this day with modern modifications and i think its fine on its own. the problem arises not from the aesthetics but with the application, imo:

- gladiatorial fights or combat as the entertainment of masses ended at around 200 AD (could be earlier, but it was after christianity made it roots at roman empire)

- some things like the stove and teapot became a thing at 15th century and it even then stoves werent a common household item for another hundred of years or so i believe.

now this matters a Whole Lot. there is a society in the mindset that is A THOUSAND YEARS behind its technology at the very least. dont get me wrong, violence as entertainment persists to this day but here we have a very specific sort of entertainment that is most primitive, using very primitive tools. its like depicting early 2000's having public hangings as a pass-time.

a non-american likely wouldnt have made this mistake solely due to exposition. because we have a general idea of what falls where, as we have museums and monuments full of our history. we keep seeing remnant in our everyday life

on top of that, vesuvia being depicted as this busy city bustling with different cultures still FEELS like its forcing the reader to assume that POC are minority. as we don't get to meet any "vesuvian" that is not white-coded. and the main cast that is foreigner never speak in any dialect or use different mannerisms, they feel assimilated in a dystopian kind of way even, which is and has never been the case for any metropole. they look diverse but they dont act diverse. theres no colour as to their customs aside from decor. muriel having tapestries, nadia's sister dancing in a certain way etc. is new to MC but its left there. and this separation of cultures as all or nothing is a strictly american issue, north american even. i cant even understand eastern turks and this indian, arab, kazakh, slav and scandinavian understand eachother perfectly at all times. when i log in to raid w my mates we argue for 5 hours over the proper way to drink tea. i havent been able to comprehend any word our serbian gm said in 5 years.

this is just an observation and i may be wrong since i only interact w american culture thru media/internet but i get the feeling that left leaning american society in general is too reluctant to get their hands dirty. by this i mean meddling with foreign cultures. the white people are not allowed in certain communities (often for rightful reasons) and the immediate assumption is that its same everywhere. its not though. in most places people are happy to share their cultures, customs, make fun of eachother for their traditions... its more like an awkward family reunion. some have vendettas and some are just vibing. when its not at the verge of extinction, you dont have to protect these values with your life, they can be played with. when my partner calls it "greek coffee" i get riled up but its not offensive, its all abit of fun. Bcs neither him nor czech ppl are personally responsible for the erasure of my culture or anything. my culture still persists.

in truth, to be true to a culture will sometimes have to make others feel uncomfortable. some parts of foreign customs are odd, it makes sense to the people exercising them as its a normal part of their life but for an outsider it can be grotesque or absurd. it can range from taking your shoes off on your way in to chopping of lambs' heads in the streets. but no, vesuvia doesnt feel remotely as chaotic, it doesnt feel like it has its own deep rooted identity in the world of arcana. cast looks like those diversity pamphlets of universities. they don't have any variety, they dont smell odd(yes, its a thing. the smell of peoples sweat differs by diet), they dont cook/eat weird shit, listen annoying music, they are just... american with a very british kinda aristocratic twist on satrinavas.

feel free to correct me, i am not too familiar with every which culture or anything, these ramblings are more of an observation than legit reconstruction

[emily-the-fae]

Ok so I have been in the interest area for some time

And I may have gotten interested in several Draculas

Here is a list of who I have on team:

5. Bram Stoker's Dracula

I mean come on, Gary Oldman in late Victorian era suits is just extremely handsome. The warrior that became a vampire: seductive, cruel, very nice when in love.

They were quite very bold when they named the movie "Bram Stoker's Dracula" to be honest - like, yes, it is very evident that they followed the author, but decided to add a more romantic plot with some Victorian sensuality. My personal opinion - they tried too hard: they wanted to fit their own storyline of Mina x Dracula love to the original Stoker story, while keeping up at least in the beginning to the author's stile of reading diaries and switching POVs in 2 hours of screentime - it did not go as smoothly as one might have wished, the time is obviously not enough, the story and character relationships are a bit rushed. Besides some characters were well... Lucy's lovers are a bit dumb - far worse than they were in the book and Lucy - ok I get it, you wanted to add eroticism, but not like that!!

In general not so bad. I like it, feels like a nice interpretation.

4. Netflix Dracula

Well, the storyline began as if it could have been Bram Stoker's, but proved to be very different from the original quite quickly. Another nice interpretation. Van Helsing is a female and a nun - that's quite an interesting change. (Seriously, I love the character, she's a big mood.)The modern versions of characters in 3rd episode seemed kinda cool too

Absolutely loved the idea of Dracula absorbing the memories and knowledge with blood, it's really cool. ( Can I please be a vampire too? I really need that for my studies!)

Claes Bang portrayal of the vampire seemed very impressive. Loved it - didn't expect to but loved it - it was the first Dracula movie I watched and it left me under a spell.

Plus the human-eating irony - Hannibal Lecter would have shook Dracula's hand for that, those two have a common sense of humour and aesthetic.

As with the previous one, I enjoyed the interpretation quite a lot.

3. Van Helsing

Well, in that one.

The story has almost nothing to do with the book, doesn't even try to, but the plot they made is exciting - the ancients old enemies concept and all that stuff. The gothic Transylvania/Budapest/Paris/wherever else they were depiction is lovely - it gives the viewer this sense of darkly beautiful atmosphere of vampire stories; soundtrack adds to the picture nicely.

Characters, well... Anna is cool if you look at her in terms of personal - keep up the family values and stuff. BUT a young lady wearing tight trousers in 19th century, are you kidding me??? I'm sorry, but that weirded me out a bit. Same with that moment when "oh I fell five meters and before that soaked under rain, look at my perfectly soft curls" - the female characters in that movie are a bit overly fancy for the time and the action genre - same with Dracula's brides, they're kind of cute, love their babies and Dracula, but why on Earth are they always half-naked?

Van Helsing has a bit of a younger and sadder Mad-Eye Moody vibe. "I kill monsters, although I do pity the humans that sit inside of them. These things need to die" - that kind of person. Hugh Jackman plays him nicely, I felt him very fit for the role - he and Dracula are basically what really saves the film and makes it interesting.

Dracula here is just.. I mean aw. He's hot. He's got a nice accent, he turns into some flying half bat thing that looks hella cool, and he removes his cape in such an extremely graceful gesture that it makes one faint. Love that guy.

(+ the ballroom dance scene was very sensual and gothic, it was one of the reasons I started watching the movie)

2. Dracula Untold

The story of medieval Dracula and how he came to be a vampire - to protect his people and his family. Politics, love, monsters and broken dates. That movie has a great plot and some points which make you stop and wonder (oh do I love the quotes of those "sometimes the world doesn't need another hero, sometimes what it needs is a monster" and of that sort, just beautiful)

It is kind of tragic, but it has a bright side to it, I am extremely grateful to the authors for what they did to the ending.

And Dracula himself well... Luke Evans is just gorgeous in the role. The ultimate strong warrior vampire - a monster to his enemies and a loving husband and father to his family. Dracula redeemed. This one is sweet.

1. Castlevania

Aaaand here we go on my favourite one. If you don't mind watching anime and you love vampires/gothic stuff - you're probably gonna enjoy this. I did. I loved it: the plot, the characters, their relationship, the whole concept of the vampire community and Dracula the vampire King, their motivations. It's catching, it's mesmerizing, it charmed and drew me in (read: I cried and wailed together with my friend, this left me a trauma, I had to write a big fanfic to make up for the pain).

Main characters - Adrian, Sypha and Tevor are a bit Ron, Harry and Hermione but they are a lovely trio, I love the tension between Trevor and Adrian. Very loveable characters, and I dare say quite well written.

And, well, Dracula. Excuse me, this one is my personal favourite. I mean - a beautiful castle, that is moved by some cool mechanisms to wherever Dracula pleases, an enormous library with all the forgotten knowledge of the world. Dracula himself is extremely well-educated, well-mannered, THE gentleman (and yeah well 8ft tall but let's skip that bit). I love that character he is in so much pain I want to hug him and cuddle him into warm blankets. He is a sweetheart.

So that was a short attempt of a person who is terrible at criticizing stuff to write some film reviews. In case anyone is interested. And for me to reassemble my journey into the vampire world.

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Okay. I passed Y6CHR45, and... I want to say that this is very bad. I mean, that... This plot twist with Merula is very illogical and obvious. I'm not a fan of Merula, but. First, why it's obvious. Because in the storyline, Merula is our rival, not our friend. How many nasty things did she do MC, etc. Well, it's too obvious that in the future they will try to make her our enemy. Second, why it's illogical. Merula has very different goals. Don't be the same as your parents, take revenge on Rakepick and kill her, become stronger and more powerful. There is not a single point in being with 'R'. Why would she want to work with someone she wants to kill? I think it would be logical if Merula joined the Death Eaters. She and her aunt had been threatened by the Death Eaters. This is what Merula said in Y5CHR28. And Andre was talking about the mark on Merula's hand in year six, when Bill taught us the Barrier Spell. Still, I think Merula was framed by someone. Merula was still ready to drink the Truth Serum. And one more thing. Won't the MC say anything about it? Not to the professors, not to Ben, not to Jacob, not to anyone about what they saw in Knockturn Alley? Hey, JC, we have a Muggle Studies class on Y7, and there will be Merula. MC will just forget about it or what? It's just stupid. I apologize, I have nobody to express this misunderstanding of the JC logic. 🤨 And one more thing. I don't think Merula is a mole. In fact, I think the mole is Penny. Because it's very logical! 'R' could have threatening and blackmailed her, like... They could steal Beatrice, or threaten to kill her, if Penny didn't follow their instructions. Penny, in her fifth year, said she would work with anyone to save Beatrice. And if you add it up in this form... I mean, Penny is the most logical option. She's the most popular girl at Hogwarts. She knows every rumor, she knows the secrets of many students. No one will even think about it! How can you think of one who is very kind, helps everyone, understands Potions, etc? This is my theory, and honestly, I still stick to it. Knowing the character of penny, for the sake of Beatrice she would betray even MC.

I don’t know, I don’t think of it as being that illogical. I suppose it was rather obvious, but in a sense, those two ideas are in conflict with each other. If a plot twist is logical, it can be predicted. If it’s not, then it won’t be, but that’s a whole different problem. In any case, this got very long, so I’m putting it under a cut.

Was it obvious?

She has been our enemy from the start, but her character arc seemed to suggest that was changing. In a way, this actually made her a less obvious suspect. At least to me. She was the primary antagonist of Year 1, but we quickly got used to her nonsense. Stopped taking her seriously. Meanwhile, the story gave her depth. Many players grew to care for her, many pitied her, but even the ones who didn’t no longer saw her as a serious threat. At the same time, the scale was gradually increasing. By Year 5, Merula wasn’t the antagonist anymore, not just because she had been deconstructed, but because the story was darkening, and the times of a school bully being the villain were long over. Hell, by Year 2 we knew about R, and by Year 4 we had Rakepick to wonder about. Year 5 not only brought Merula’s character arc to the point where she became more of a friend (but no less prickly and combative) it also fleshed out the game’s Big Bad to the point where it became clear that this was much bigger than MC, or anyone in their year. Year 5 also exonerated Ben, and later unceremoniously killed the “Rowan is R” theory by having Rowan be imperius’d like Ben was. 

No one took Merula seriously anymore, people felt sorry for her, and we felt as though we understood her completely. That nothing she did could surprise us. This was capped off by the betrayal of Rakepick, compounded with her using the Cruciatus Curse on Merula. Because MC was betrayed, but not by any of the students. But by their mentor, who was always shady in the first place. Merula was put in a horrible position where even her greatest Antis surely felt a twinge of pity for her. Anyone left who suspected her probably wouldn’t have after that night. What’s more, it played into the idea that we understood Merula perfectly. Because she reacted exactly as one would expect her to. She regressed. Year 6 depicted her as someone firmly on our side, but predictably not someone who would be nice about it. From her jabs about Rowan, to her fawning over Jacob, people were annoyed with her, but no one suspected her. The game practically taunts the player, in hindsight, with the veritaserum scene. Because that’s just it - no one thought she would betray MC. They were worried she would go rogue, but no one doubted her loyalty. 

Why did she do it?

As for the logic of her decision, I likewise disagree. I believe Merula had every reason to join R. I don’t think that the Cabal and the Death Eaters are so different that one would make sense for her to join, and not the other, if that makes sense. She could have gone either way, but at a guess, Merula doesn’t think very highly of the Death Eaters. She refers to Voldemort by his name without a care in the world. If they really were threatening her, I feel like she wouldn’t want to cave in, but she might be attracted to joining a rival faction that could provide her (and her aunt?) with protection. If there’s one thing we know about R - it’s that they have a history of making enticing offers to children, provoking them to “prove” themselves to be accepted into the Cabal’s ranks. The description of them being her new “family” gives me cult vibes, and it really sheds some light on why Merula might have been drawn to them. She was lonely, she was angry, she wanted power...and R came along to offer her everything she wanted at the time. Whether she wants to leave now is uncertain, but if we assume that she’s been the mole since the very beginning, it’s probably way too late for her to just walk away. R would not allow that.

As to the sequence of Rakepick torturing her, we don’t yet know what was going on in that scene. Though I am feeling somewhat vindicated in the knowledge that there was more to that scene that meets the eye, just like I was sure there had to be. Perhaps Rakepick and Merula planned that whole thing, perhaps it was staged. Which would mean that Rakepick faked the spell, and Merula pretended to be tortured, and that her entire vendetta against Rakepick has been a facade. Or maybe the curse was real, but Merula agreed to it beforehand. Or maybe she knew the betrayal was coming, but Rakepick went off-script by turning her wand on Merula. Either way, if Merula’s vendetta was real, I don’t think it’s out of character for her to want revenge. Who cares if it’s someone on her side? This is Merula we’re talking about - I don’t think that would stop her. Now, if we assume she was not yet an R mole at the time (I think she was, but for the sake of argument)  then perhaps R reached out to Merula, apologized for Rakepick’s torture and promised that they did not authorize it. Promised that there would be consequences, and Merula could be the one to inflict them, if she agreed to join them. It’s a longshot, but I guess it’s possible. 

The Future.

The existence of this twist doesn’t really create any holes, I don’t think, and while it may put the writers in a tricky position moving forward, that’s not the same thing as them screwing up the continuity of the past. They’ll have to find a way to make this work, and until we see the ramifications, I’m willing to wait on judging how this arc plays out. MC will have a choice to make, certainly, in how they handle this. I can’t wait to see the dialogue. What they do next remains to be seen. Do they confront Merula? Turn her in? Or...if we want to be really sneaky, what we should do, in my opinion...is act as though nothing’s changed. Spread the word to people like Moody and Ben, but...do not let Merula catch on that we know. The way to salvage this situation, from a purely tactical perspective, is to let R believe they still have a spy at Hogwarts...but begin to feed her misinformation. Lead them astray. This is quite literally a war tactic, because hey...this is a war. Now, the issue with that is that Merula will likely face punishment once R figures out that she’s being misled...but hopefully we can save Merula before that point, and to the players who despise her - or even feel like she’d deserve it for her treachery...they probably wouldn’t care anyway.

I don’t think we can really judge based on the Muggles Studies classes, or anything that we know about Year 7. I also don’t expect Jam City to consider what we “know” and in all fairness...I mean, they don’t have to. That is unreleased content. Nothing in the data-mines is, strictly speaking, canon, or part the continuity. With the way that scene ended, it suggests that Merula won’t be returning for Year 7. Maybe. The data-mines contradict this, but data-mines don’t provide the full context. They aren’t released content, and anything could change. There were once data-mines that confirmed Skye as being in MC’s year, as well as suggesting that Murphy felt embittered about his disability. Both of these things were cut. So they’re not canon. In general, I think Jam City has a terrible approach to dealing with hackers, but one thing I will say in their defense is that they aren’t required to write their scenes based on what the fandom has discovered in the data-mines. If we’re confused, well, that’s kind of our own fault. But I’m sure everything will become clear eventually. I hope.

Penny. 

For meta reasons, I don’t see them pulling a double twist and revealing a second character to be the “real” mole, but it’s not impossible. And I’ve said all along that the Year 1 characters were the real suspects. MC unknowingly being the mole was my theory, mostly because Moody is shady as all hell. But Ben is shady too, it’s just that he had a rock-solid alibi in the form of Rakepick trying to kill him, since she couldn’t have known that Rowan would intervene. Setting aside Merula, since I’ve also said from the start that she isn’t a good liar...that leaves Penny. I really don’t think Penny is shady. I’ve never thought that. I’ll admit that she does essentially approach MC out of the blue to befriend them, but I mean...so does Ben. This happens on a much larger scale later on with Alanza. I can believe Penny would go to the ends of the earth to protect Beatrice, and maybe when she was imprisoned in the Portrait, R contacted Penny and strong-armed her into this deal. The issue is, Beatrice is safe and sound as of sixth year. The Black Lake incident is still a bit spotty, and perhaps that was R going after her again...but I just don’t think there are enough hints for me to believe it, personally. If this were true, why was Ben the character who insisted on coming to the Portrait Vault instead of Penny? She could have demanded to come along too, and no one would have blamed her. Everyone would have understood. Not to mention, Penny has severe tells when she’s stressed. She does not act like herself. She’s mostly back to normal in Year 6, and her behavior reflects that Beatrice is safe now, just pulling away. If Beatrice was still on the hot-seat, I feel like Penny would not be keeping it together. Finally, that raises the question of how much Beatrice is aware of all this. Does she know about this deal? Because I find it hard to believe she wouldn’t tell anyone.

[tempo-takoyaki]

Hi, do you think you have any TPN fanfic you'd recommend? I don't mind any ships or gen fics. I'm just trying to find interesting/good fanfics to read but I couldn't find any fic recs yet in this fandom. I like your fics, so I just thought I might like your recommendations. By the way, thank you for writing the Can You Hear the Sea fic and Giver fic (those two are my favorites!)

Wow thanks ! (^^)/ I’m honoured to be trusted enough to give fic recommandations ! I mostly choose my authors currently, so I will do something similar here. 

@piperemerald : (Piper_Emerald on Ao3), Mostly Norray. One of my favorite authors in the fandom! She planifies everything in her fics, which means you are guaranteed to have a good and smooth reading, I once got so caught up in one of her works that I missed my subway station. Incredible writing, but most importantly very good characterization, all her characters feel human and real (which is something I appreciate a lot). I would love to just recommend all of her fics right on the stop but it would be too long, so I’ll simply select a few ones.

Falling For Your Voice (Norman/Ray, rated M, Emma/Violet and Yuugo/Lucas as backgrounds ships) : Modern Life AU where Norman is a renowned singer and Ray a famous but anonymous writer, the both falling in love with each other through the words in their works. What I said about the author is still the same, incredible writing style, amazing characterization, at the same time funyt, tender, and kind of heartbreaking too. It was the first fic I read from her and I have no regrets. 11 chapters of pure bliss. I want to also precise that, while rated M, there’s no explicit sex scenes despite having mentions of it. And all characters are aged-up of course.

An Hour To Midnight (Norman/Ray, rated T) : Coffee Shop AU. I... Don't really have nothing more to say to describe the work. I want to spoil as less as possible because there’s a ton of little details that I love in this one-shot. It’s a coffee shop au, but a really good one. One of my favorite work by the author. If I only have to say one thing to recommend it: Ray is dislexic and I live for that.

Now, I will stop there for Piper_Emerald, but I could also recommend Language Barrier and Pomegrenate Seed as well as Cursed and In The Next Mile too. All Norray. And all amazings. But this time I prefer to let you check by yourself.

Now then , to our next author: @justanotherbnhalover (hi) (7FlyingPancakes7 on Ao3), like previously, mostly Norray. No, I don’t have a bias because we get along, I sincerely love her fics a lot. It depends on the fic more this time, but I particularly adores the AUs she makes and the universes she creates around it, they are not just good fics, but good stories too. Her writing style is amazing, able to capture every little thought of her characters like she is putting us in their heads (not excluding intrusive thoughts too). The writing style is what captivates me a lot too, she just creates sentences that makes you shiver.

To Die For (Norman/Ray, rated M for… explicit reasons) : What can you do when a serial killer falls in love with you? THIS FIC. THIS FIC. I have a personal history with fanfics depicting unhealthy relationships, and THIS FIC is awesome. Not only its a clear example of how far the author can go with writing intrusive thoughts,  but also a great thriller. Will Ray discover that Norman is the killer? Or will Norman manage to fool the person he loves for his whole life? WHO KNOWS. The fic isn’t finished yet, but I would recommend you to read it anyway.

This Song Is For You (Norman/Ray, rated T) : Mermaid AU where Mermaid Norman gets charmed by Ray’s singing. A very interesting take on a Mermaid AU ! But it’s not just the context, the story itself is good. Unlike other fics, it’s not as mystery centered as others, but the Mermaid universe is enough to get completely into it. Not only that, but again, a very good writing, and as funny as always too... I love Mermaid stories so be prepared yourself to be given more.

Now, I could’ve recommended other fics, but TSIFY is the only finished Mermaid fic (hence why I recommended it) and I wanted to propose something else besides Smile (While You Can), though I still recommend it too.

Another author (and finally not Norray, at least I’ll choose some that are not Norray) @amaikana ! (hi) (amaitori on Ao3 for non explicit works). Very productive author ! ... Does not finish their multi-chapters fic a lot though. (Think of them as this book entirely made of first chapters). But every single one-shots are a ray of light in the darkness (mostly because some of them are very funny). Is mostly focused on slice of life short stories, so it’s also nice to take a break from all those angsty fics! I would categorize her as the “feel good” author. There’s some angsty stuff, but the majority of the works are mostly fluff.

Blue Eyes (Gen, rated G, some Rayemma on te side but nothing more) : Cute stories about Ray and his new adopted brother Norman. A serie of cute one-shots with Norman being 6 years old and Ray 10. Like I said, very good to feel good, it’s adorable, it’s funny, and it’s about kids. 

Chance Among the Stars (Norman/Emma, rated T, Ray and Norman are biological brothers) Fate/Stay Night Heaven’s Feel AU. It’s more than just because I am a Fate fan, but this fic is genuinely one of her best works. It’s filled with emotions and magical lores and it’s cool as hell. Also, I like angst.

And that’s it because those are mostly really short one-shots or series of one-shots so... it’s better to see for yourself ! :D (Also lots of OT3 to my joy).

Now, we will go into the territory of fics that I read without checking the author’s other works a lot. It’s not that I dislike the author’s other works, let’s just stay I mostly remember the fic (and only started to do it by author recently too).

I got a ticket to another world (Norman/Ray, rated T, written by heismysoulmate) : Norman adopts a very strange cat. A cool fantastic one-shot and a cool short story overall. The characters are interesting, and the relationship development is good.

pushing youth to the limits (Norman/Emma/Ray, not rated but definitely M, written by sugacookies_with_tae) : A cleptomaniac, a murderess and a depressive on a road trip. It’s what I’ll say to summarize the plot, because if you’re like me, you’ll think “wow, it’s either really good or really bad, I’m going to read it”. Spoiler: it’s good, it’s good in the type “who cares?”. I don’t know how to describe it, it’s just a bunch of fucked up kids trying to live and it’s somehow interesting? Wow. (Also, if its plot comes from a K-pop music video. I watched it, and uh... actually don’ t. It’s not that the music is bad or the clip is bad, it’s just that you might try to compare it to the fic, and I honestly prefer to just enjoy the story.)

love me like you do (Ray/Emma, rated T, written by isshun) : Actors AU. I don’t know what else I have to say to describe it, it’s just good. The author alternates between the actors living their life and what people say on the internet with very realistic tweets. It’s super cute and very nice, and slow-burn too. A very good one-shot overall.

Deep Blue (Norman/Ray (YES AGAIN), rated T, written by NanamiChiLovesYou) : Mermaid AU, Little Mermaid AU, Ray, a mermaid, transforms himself into a human in order to find a way to protect his family who still lives under the sea. This fic has awaken a lot of us to Mermaids, and for good reasons. It’s very good. The whole transformation thing is perfectly executed, all characters are intersting... And it’s unifinshed (*goes sobbing in a corner*). But it doesn’t matter, because it’s just awesome ! Unlike with TSIFY, the universe is less developed in order to focus more on the characters and their interactions, which definitely gives another vibe.

Here are all my recommandations ! (^^)/ I hope you will find your happiness in all of those ! (There’s a ton of others but I can’t remember, I also avoided talking about smut here, but if you want smut fic recommandations you can ask me)

There’s a reason why there’s so many Norray fics despite me not particularly being a big Norray shipper but I won’t write them down here, if you are curious, don’t hesitate to ask me about why those specific preferences.

[shiros-boyfriends-are-pretty]

Why I'm worried about the ATLA live-action series: A look at the importance of suspension of disbelief

*disclaimer: I am not a movie critic, have never studied animation or film-making, and have limited experience in acting. I am speaking from the perspective of a consumer*

I'm sure many of you have heard, they're making a live-action ATLA, and although I'm happy they have a lot of the original creative direction and will cast an entirely Asian cast, I'm still really worried about the medium.

Firstly, what made Avatar so great was its INCREDIBLE ability to balance heavy topics with pure whimsy! In between learning more about the trauma of the past and how it affects the future, we have fun moments like Sokka tripping balls on cactus juice or Iroh being a whole mood or Toph's amazing ability to laugh at everything somehow.

Animation, whether it is 2d or 3d, has the ability to bring in exaggerated and hilarious facial expressions, impossible contortions, gags, and strange movements, creating a type of humour hard to replicate in any other way. It provides a suspension of disbelief.

Suspension of disbelief is defined by Wikipedia as, "an intentional avoidance of critical thinking or logic in examining something surreal, such as a work of speculative fiction, in order to believe it for the sake of enjoyment". In ATLA, the audience can ignore the fact that physics in this world are unrealistic because it's a cartoon! All the jokes and animals add to the colour fantasy world, and it is all accented by the bending!! As a medium, animation can achieve with ease what actors rarely can: pure, unaltered whimsy. And for ATLA that is essential.

I'm not saying conveying that whimsy in live-action is impossible, but when the Baloo from the Jungle Book remake talks while looking ENTIRELY like a bear that could very much kill you, you get a MUCH different vibe than when Yogi Bear exists as an exaggeratedly unrealistic talking bear in his movie.

Let's take a deeper look at the Jungle Book.

The original movie, although full of the influence of its problematic origins and creative direction, was fun, with upbeat songs and interesting animal characters in an easily digestible format. On screen was only what was important for the viewer to understand the story, nothing overwhelming or distracting. The medium provided that suspension of disbelief. Animals can talk? Sure, go ahead! Hypnotic snake?? Add that right in. A human boy could survive for so long in the jungle?? Of course!! It's a fantasy.

But the live-action version, was borderline terrifying at moments. It's a gorgeous movie!! But I really don't think it was anywhere NEAR as fun to watch. Any talking of animals seemed jarring against their realistic depiction. The scene where Mowgli leaves the pack is so much more heartbreaking and sets a much sadder tone due to the realism and darkened lighting. King Louie's makeover as a grotesque gargantuan monstrosity haunts me to this day. It doesn't feel like a children's movie anymore, it feels like a weird attempt to get audiences to praise D*sney for having amazingly talented staff.

The whole movie was an impressive feat, but by spending so much time and money on realism they lost the heart if the story as it originally was, and created something completely distinct. Which isn't bad, per say, but in the pressure of realism it lost all the fun that made the original good.

A good counter-example is the Alice in Wonderland series of remakes, which i believe was the first live-action remake D*sney did(correct me if I'm wrong). They perfectly captured the off-kilter, whimsical air of the whole tale. But with Alice, suspension of disbelief was written into the story. She spends her whole time in Wonderland! A topsy-turvy off-putting new reality that tossed all known laws out the window. Realism had no place there to begin with, so creating a surrealist fever dream did the trick in suspending the audience's disbelief even through the live-action medium.

Avatar the Last Airbender is right in the middle of these two. It has the suspension of disbelief in both its fantastical elements and its animated medium. But it also is heavily influenced by meticulous study of real cultures and their myths.

I fear that the necessity to depict these worlds in a complete and accurate way will detract from the fairy-tale like aspects of the whole story if not done with IMMENSE consideration and care. They need to depict the amazing creatures in the story, have age-appropriate casting, write the characters with all the nuance of being REALLY young kids with the fate of their WHOLE WORLD in their hands. And on top of all of that, the suspenison of disbelief needs to be there!!! If they can follow in the Pokémon live action movie's footsteps and depict loveable creatures of the fantasy world, that could help balance it out, but the epic potential of the bending scenes in a live action format will likely push them to age up the characters and essentially turn it into almost another action movie, losing the beauty and nuance of the original.

That's not to say live-action has no place in the ATLA world! For example, the story of Avatar Kyoshi (video description here) is so heavy and dark that I don't think an animated cartoon would do her justice, because there is no place for the whimsy of ATLA in her story. She is arguably the most "yes murder" of all the known avatars, and her story is so action-movie-like that it would be a perfect candidate for a live-action medium (not to mention canon LGBTQ+ rep!!!)

I hope they can pull it off, but I really dont wanna put my faith that a live action medium won't turn ATLA too serious. They need to find a way to add whimsy and fantasy into the world to the same degree they add the realism necessary to pay respect to the influencing cultures, and though it isn't impossible, it will be difficult.

[refusecollectionpoint]

So, RCP: what keeps inspiring you to draw in this recurrent melancholic, yet warm scenery? It scratches my curiosity, since this style does look pretty modern than the average star wars-y vibe. Not that I'm complaining, of course. It's really neat, beautiful and super nice to look at, even if you aren't familiar with SW characters. Since I follow your work for months now, even years, and I deeply adore what you do, I'd love to hear your answer. Keep up the amazing work and happy new year.

Thank you for sending me this message. I’m very grateful while reading it. You’ve raised a question that I’m thrilled to discuss about.

“Recurrent melancholic, yet warm scenery”

For me, there’s no lack of inspirations because my mind is filled with numerous images when I think about Huxlo(& Star Wars). Those scenes pop out from nowhere. Every single one of them looks like a synopsis of a outstandingly splendid story.

I wish I know the stories, but I don’t. All I’ve got is a pile of glittering crystal shards.

One of my favorite things in Huxlo fandom is collecting stories from those who have seen those shards. I’m willing to spend days in depicting some beautifully confusing scenes with frustration and anxiety because I’m certain that right after I post the pictures, someone will say, “I see the story”, and then I can finally finish the puzzle in joy when people explain it to me. 

Most of my friends in Star Wars fandom are super talented writers who tell stories that make me explode like a firecracker. I resonate to their writings as much as our minds link to the same main server. When I read their fics, I feel like I’ve read those many years ago; I feel like I’ve already read those a million times; and I feel like the feeling of déjà vu is taking away my breath. The writers always say, “of course you know my trash well, most of the plot is based on your trash”. They have no idea how I feel. Their writings make me literally the happiest person in the world. I failed to tell them how mysterious it is — How can I have no clue about what I’m doing but still keep going on? How can they see the shards perfectly as a whole? How can they put waves and lightnings in their writings? How can we enjoy being with each other?How can my soul burn in ecstasy without shame? Fuck, I’m apparently in love. Only love drives people crazy like this. I don’t know what’s the magic in The Force Awakens, but since I accidentally watched this fucking film in cinema and fell head over heels in Huxlo, I’ve found peace in my life. 

Hux and Kylo have such a poisonous relationship. I’d like to see all the gracefully disturbing things happen to them. I’d like to see all the wonderfully terrible things happen to them.

My skills of sketching, anatomy, composition, perspective, and coloring obviously have a lot of things to improve.I hope I can increase the amount of practicing and make posts on a daily basis this year. I’m still learning making better trash, so my style will vary in the process of study. You said that my style looks relatively modern, I’ll take it as a compliment.

I don’t think I answered your question well. In short, the concept of Huxlo itself has inspired me to present every scenery in my posts. Thank you again for your sweet message. Please feel free to send me asks. 

🎉🎉🎉  Happy New Year !!!!! 🎉🎉🎉

[discovering-ellie]

August 19, 2021 - Post Three

Okay, so after thumbing through that A to Z Self-Care Guide I got last week, I decided to buy myself a tarot deck. I found this absolutely gorgeous deck that just perfectly matches what I think my aesthetic is and, ugh, just yes.

Anyway, after trying my best to shuffle these cards, I attempted a Self-Care spread. The card in the middle is my problem, upper left is what to do now, upper right is what to do later, bottom left is what I need to hear, and bottom right is what I need to avoid.

So let's get into it!

My problem: Five of Wands (reversed). Avoid conflict, compromise, truce "Conflict is uncomfortable, however, running away from your problems will not solve anything. Nipping it in the bud can help you practice confronting the issues head on instead of shying away. In the act of avoidance, you tend to scatter your energy and prolong the conflict, making it even worse! This could also be a pattern of compromising your values to appease others. You may be feeling competitive vibes, especially from your coworkers. Listen to your gut instincts on who you can trust, as some people will not have your best interests at heart. Learn to choose your battles and if this is worth fighting for. Reserve your energy for bigger battles ahead and come to a truce to ease the situation. Sometimes keeping the peace is more worthwhile than being right." My Interpretation: Well, if this isn't an accurate fucking depiction of my problem, I don't know what is. It's no secret that I avoid conflict because of how uncomfortable it makes me and, as a result, it always makes the situation worse. I'm working on nipping my issues in the bud, but this is definitely still a battle

What to do now: Nine of Wands Wisdom, Perseverance, Last Stretch "Almost there! You can see the finish line, and at the last minute, you are faced with an obstacle. This challenge can be seen as a setback or a test of your character. Expect the worst and protect yourself against any foreseeable attacks. Better to be prepared than to be sorry later! Throughout this journey, you have accumulated experience and gained enough wisdom to handle anything that is thrown your way. You've gained tools to deal with your inner struggles and now you have confidence in your abilities to overcome and persevere. Trust in your strength and power to make it to the end. Learn from your mistakes so that you can navigate setbacks easily in the future. Challenges are difficult, but believe in your abilities to make it through. You can do it!" My Interpretation: What I'm getting from this is encouragement to continue using the tools that I'm learning to get me through my struggles as they arise. I need to keep moving forward in my process, trusting it and continuing to learn.

What to do later: Nine of Pentacles True Colors, Splendor, Vitality "Indulge yourself! You deserve it. Your hard work is paying off and you are now reaping the rewards. You feel at ease with your financial status, income, and schedule. Live loud with luxury, allowing yourself to enjoy the abundance that you've created. It is now the time to celebrate and treat yourself, whether it's buying that item you've had your eye on or giving yourself time to rest. By staying true to yourself and your vision, you are improving the quality of your life. Show your true colors by saying yes to your independent spirit and the creations you are bringing forth into this world. Acknowledge your accomplishments and what it took for you to get to this place of fulfillment and satisfaction. Rich in inspiration, connect and replenish the unique beauty that you possess and provide in this world." My Interpretation: I feel like this card is telling me to acknowledge and celebrate how far I've come on my journey. I know that I still have such a far journey left ahead of me, but that doesn't mean that I should downplay all of my efforts so far.

What I need to hear: The Tower (reversed) Warning, Fear of Change, Avoidance "Whew! You've managed to avoid a disaster, getting out of harm's way just in time. The Tower Reversed is a warning that drastic changes are on the way, however you are given time to prepare before the storm. This is an opportunity to take preventative measures to soften the blow, so to speak. There is also an indication that you are resisting change and you are doing everything in your power to avoid these unfortunate but necessary occurrences. Prolonging the situation will not help. Face your fears and accept change as a start to a new beginning. Contradicting thoughts and actions make way for a confusing outcome. Actions speak louder than words, communicating your innermost thoughts. Take risks, be bold, and put yourself out there. As they say -- go big or go home." My Interpretation: Man, this card is really calling me out, isn't it? The section about change and facing my fears absolutely speaks to me and I know that it's telling me to just do the damn thing, but there's still a lot of fear behind "the thing." Additionally, I believe that this is telling me to continue to work on my communication with others and to give actions to back it up. Like it said, I need to take risks and be bold.

What I should avoid: Two of Wands Advance, Explore, Prospects "A new world is calling your names and you are confidently stepping forward, ready to see what's next! There is an enticing path laid before you, and you have conceptualized a plan to take action and progress towards your bigger ambitions. However, you're faced with leaving your comfort zone to venture off into unfamiliar territory. The big picture is clear, and you know what you are capable of. Bold and fearless, as you step into your own personal power you enable others to do the same. Making the decision to leave the comfort of home is not always easy, but can be necessary for your personal growth. Take the risk! And have a backup plan. You will learn so much about yourself and discover the world in so many ways. As J.R.R. Tolkien wrote, "Not all those who wander are lost."" My Interpretation: This confuses me because this card seems like such a positive card full of hope and encouragement, but it's in the "What I should avoid" slot. Does that mean I should avoid the urge to NOT step out of my comfort zone and explore? I'm still very, very new to this whole tarot thing, so if any of you with more experience have any clue what this could possibly mean, I'd really appreciate the input.

UPDATE: a friend that is well-versed in tarot gave me this interpretation for the Two of Wands: Two of Wands - this meaning can be taken many ways. To me, in this slot after reading your pulls and your interpretations- i am pulled to say this:: stay your path to healing you, this is working for you now. There will be a time to step out and explore but now, just stay the course That doesn’t mean don’t explore, don’t step out of your comfort zone - as this will play out naturally. But keeping the foundation of your path and the course to the next level of healing