#Parallel game's going strong today

[theebaddestbish]

The Gravesinger, The Marshal

And Their Respective Nora Baes

[exuvianen]

dating hc's with dr. ratio, aventurine + blade!

headcanons about what these hsr men do in a relationship witth you <3

cw: x reader, gn! reader (no physical descriptions), mostly fluff, sfw, headcanon style

notes: hsr brainrot… ahahaha... i hope i have a fairly good grasp on these characters and wrote them well. 

wc: ~1050 words, around 350 words per character. all under the cut!

feel free to drop an ask or to add on to my thoughts! likes + rbs are appreciated  <3

✎ Dr. Ratio:

He likes parallel play, or being alone together with you. He works on his own projects, like grading papers or writing a new thesis while you’re doing your own thing, like playing video games or reading. Occasionally, he might ask you for your input, such as ideas about his next thesis or what pose he should sculpt himself into next. 

He has a spare desk and chair for you in his office. You can choose to do work or entertain yourself there when you visit him and he’s still teaching a lecture, but feel free to take a nap on the plush sofa he bought just for you. 

He will nag you about your health but in an annoyingly endearing way. He fusses over you, telling you about appropriate attire for today’s weather, offering you an umbrella, and reminding you to drink water. 

He entertains all your ideas, no matter how silly or illogical. He’ll hear you out on anything you say, though he might have some very strong disagreements or objections to your ideas, especially if they are silly or completely nonsensical. However, he never turns you away when you bound up to him with a mischievous gleam in your eyes - he just sighs and prepares himself mentally to hear whatever goofiness comes out of your mouth. 

He’s your biggest cheerleader, supporter, and advocate. Though he may come off as intimidating, he is always willing to help advance your career or work. He has many connections and vast knowledge of the universe after all - why not utilize them for his beloved? 

He’s very good at dispelling any irrational thoughts in your head. If you’re panicking and your mind is disoriented, he’ll sit next to you and hold your hand gently, but firmly to ground you. He doesn’t speak at all when you vent out all your frustration, confusion, or anger - rather, he’s silently contemplative and then asks questions when you finish talking. He’ll indirectly guide you to a solution while gently calming you down as he dispels those pesky thoughts from your head.

He makes a custom alabaster head for you. 

♤ Aventurine:

A big fan of matching accessories and clothing. You don’t need to wear the exact same outfit, but he likes wearing complementary colors and jewelry to yours.

If you’d like, he’d be more than happy to bring you to casinos and public events with him. He wants to show off to you and let you witness his wit, talent, and skill like a peacock presenting its colorful feathers. 

He likes it a lot when you trace his skin through the spade-shaped hole in his outfit.

He hates the feeling of being vulnerable, but he likes being around you. This creates conflicting emotions inside of him. Oftentimes, he doesn’t know how to deal with it and just lurks by you. Pull him into a hug to quiet the voices in his head. 

He will send you packages or luxury items from the planets he’s visiting. You’ll be greeting a disgruntled Topaz or IPC soldiers at your door as they hand you various gifts ranging from limited-edition jewelry to flowers that bloom only once every 200 amber eras. He gifts extremely grand things, but he always knows how to find things that suit your tastes.

He’s a big spender on you. If you’re unused to the amount of money he’s willing to throw at you, he’s going to give you a lot of “exposure therapy” with his generosity. He’ll invite you to private auctions, lavish galas, luxury boutiques, and high-end jewelry stores. He’ll start filling your wardrobe with tailor-made clothes with the excuse that you should match his outfits when you attend formal events together, but his clothing contributions eventually infiltrate your closet pretty deeply. 

He enjoys being pampered and pampering you. Self-care nights are a must - as a representative of the IPC and one of the ten Stonehearts, he has to keep himself presentable and looking sharp, and that goes for his partner too! He’s more than happy to spend money to fund your trips to the salon or buy you any beauty products to use at home. He’d love to put on face masks together and share a drink or two with you. 

☠︎︎ Blade:

If you want to, and Elio’s script permits, he will bring you along on missions to safer planets. He’ll drop you off at a commercial district - feel free to go shopping or try out some novelty food while he wraps up his Stellaron Hunter business.

He likes getting his hair brushed. One of his favorite activities is sitting down and letting you comb through his hair after he cleans up from a mission. It’s an activity that leaves him vulnerable, but he doesn’t mind if it’s with you.

He’s an acts of service kind of guy. He moves to take your bags before you even say anything, holds open doors, and pulls out chairs for you. Brings you a cup of water and some fruit when you’ve been working for too long, and silently drapes his jacket over you when you shiver.

Tell him you like a certain pastry and he’ll show up every day and bring some. Show him a picture of a pretty flower and he’s boarding a spaceship to bring the flower to you personally. If you want something, he’ll do his best to get it.

He’s pretty quiet, but he’ll remember everything you say, what your preferences are, and what you like. He secretly writes it down in case his memory gets murky, and he’ll often reread his notes to remind himself.

He gives simple but traditional gifts to you, such as jade bracelets and pendants, and combs and hairpins if you have longer hair to wear or use them.*

He’ll treasure anything you gift to him. If you make an accessory for him, he wears it at all times. If your gift is small enough, he’ll stow it safely in his pockets and take it everywhere with him.

If family is important to you, he’ll send funds their way and ensure that they’re taken care of. 

As someone who’s often dead and then undead, his body can get stiff. He’ll enjoy it immensely if you massage him, and accompany him for his daily stretches and calisthenics. Even if you just hold him for a while, he finds that his muscles will relax from the warmth emitting from your body. Therefore, he quite appreciates having you physically near him.

* Combs, hairpins, Jade bracelets, and pendants were given as tokens of love and affection in Ancient China. These gifts have a deeper meaning/symbolism, but for the sake of post length, I did not write them all out. 

[demontobee]

Parallels between Lord Jim and Good Omens (2)

I have rewatched GO2 at least 10 times now (still counting, obvsly), and every time I notice new easter eggs that emerge from the massive web of intertextuality that Neil Gaiman created for us here.

So today, I wanted to focus on the way Aziraphale came up with the “undercover” name “Jim” for Gabriel. He read it on the spine of a book: Lord Jim.

That book was written by Joseph Conrad (a Polish-British writer with dubious ideas about colonialism) and published in 1900. The plot basically follows the life of a young idealistic seaman called Jim who has to defend himself in a trial that concerns a sinking ship which he and other members of the crew abandoned in a storm, leaving it and the helpless passengers to their fate. The ship did not sink in the end, and he was the only member of the crew who was held accountable for his deeds by stripping him off his naval certificate. The trial is where he meets the narrator of the story, Marlow, who is strangely intrigued by the young man, who seems to be engulfed by guilt and shame over his morally wrong decision to leave the boat. The narrator tries to help Jim to his feet and lands him a job as a post manager at some remote colonial outpost. There he becomes a hero by capturing a local bandit. Later he falls victim to a scheme against him, and a pirate raids a neighbouring community and kills the son of their chief, Jim’s close friend. Jim then goes there, and the chief shoots him as a revenge for his son.

I mean, the most obvious parallel is that Gabriel gets named after Jim. He, too, abandoned his ship (Heaven; and the question here is, did he know it might be a sinking ship as well?) and was put on trial and lost his position as archangel before he came to Aziraphale for help. But that’s not all there is to it.

Let us start with the formal (concerning style and structure) aspects:

narrative structure:

“Marlow has complete control over the story … and he exercises his power in increasingly complicated ways. Time is broken up: in a single paragraph of narration, Marlow will reference the past, the present, and the future. By manipulating the flow of the narrative, Marlow is able to create juxtapositions and contrasts that highlight particular aspects of the story. He is a master at withholding information …” (Source: Sparknotes)

As I have already discussed in another post, this is more or less how narrative structure works in GO, too (S2 maybe more than S1, but this still applies to both). We get minisodes from the past that directly reference and juxtapose situations in the story that takes place in the present. Take, for example, the Job minisode, which gives us information about the development of Crowley and Aziraphale’s relationship, but we also see how devastating and hard it was for Aziraphale to realise that sometimes he had to lie (or do something considered wrong in heaven) to do the morally right thing. This sequence is juxtaposed with the relative ease he exhibits in the present day when he has to lie to heaven on a regular basis (in this case, about the miracle and hiding Gabriel, which is kind of a big lie, too). The show also plays with our understanding and expectations of how time works, as S2 starts with a scene that takes place “before the beginning,” which undermines dramatic structure as it has been known and accepted since Aristotle. It is also interesting to note that in S1, we have a strong sense of an almighty narrator, since god herself is narrating the whole time and she sure lets us know that she is playing her own ineffable game here. In S2, however, we don’t have a clear narrative voice. This might make it seem like the narration is more neutral or less meddled with, but in reality, it just makes things even less reliable and situations more ambiguous, as we have no single voice to interpret them for us. Someone is definitely “withholding information” here, and I guess we’ll have to wait for S3 to get the full picture.

language/style:

“Marlow constantly ponders the "message"--the meaning of Jim's story. His language is dense with terms like "inscrutable" and "inexplicable," words that denote imprecision and indecipherability, but which also possess a certain quality of uncertainty in themselves, as words. He struggles to name things, and is often reduced to wondering if there even is a meaning to Jim's story and his fascination with it. Sometimes he concludes that the meaning is an "enigma"; sometimes he decides there is no meaning to be found at all. Words are constantly being contested in this novel; at least three major episodes center around the misinterpretation of a single spoken word.” (Source: Sparknotes)

I mean, “inscrutable” and “inexplicable”? Why not just call it “ineffable”? I also love how Crowley seems to wonder about the meaning of things (especially the distinction between “good” and “bad”), as one of the first things we here him say in S2 is something like: “Do you ever ask yourself what’s the point. I mean angels, demons, heaven, hell … it all seems a bit … point … less.” And obviously, the whole show is full of misinterpretations of words (e.g., “what does your exactly mean, exactly? I feel like my exactly and your exactly are different exactlies”), or, as we are all painfully aware, a whole way of communicating with one another (“aim for my mouth, but shoot past my ear”).

Now for some similarities concerning informal (aka content) aspects:

moral balance and “naïve heroism”:

“Even more tortured is the analysis of idealism and heroism that lies at the center of Lord Jim. Jim is a young man who enters the world motivated primarily by fantasies of daring and noble deeds lifted from cheap novels. His ideals break down, however, in the face of real danger; they are, in fact, untenable when applied to any form of reality.” (Source: Sparnotes)

That sounds like both Crowley and Aziraphale in a way. They both set out as naïve idealists, and both of them learn (Crowley earlier and faster that Aziraphale) that their (heavenly) ideals do not hold in the complex reality of life. A lot of what we see in S2 is Aziraphale coming to terms with accepting that doing the “right thing” on earth often involves breaking his heavenly rules and allowing for “shades of grey.”

struggling to comprehend own identity and moral consequences of own actions:

Both the narrator, Marlow, and the protagonist of his tale, Jim, are trying to figure out their identity. Marlow seems to tell the story mainly to kind of make sense of identity itself but also of him personally, while Jim tries to make amends for his morally wrong behaviour and tries to manifest his identity (as a hero) through action.

In GO2, we have a lot of identity struggles and questions of “who am I?”: Jim the amnesiac angel is the most blatantly obvious case, but we also have Aziraphale negotiating his identity constantly, e.g., in the Job episode when he asks “Then what am I?” after having lied to heaven for the first time . And I mean Crowley is just on another level of liminal identity entirely, isn’t he?

As a bonus (and I am probably going overboard here, but well), this is the description of Jim’s death:

“Then with his hand over his lips he fell forward, dead.”

  The imagery reminds me of something…ahhh yes:

Feel free to add your thoughts in the tags or comments!

[hollowtones]

what'd you think about jade shadows?

I put it under a read-more because I don't know how to talk about this without talking about spoiler stuff. The tl;dr is "I liked it but I wish there was a little bit more."

One of the things I didn't like isn't even really part of the quest itself, but I saw a mutual bring it up a few days ago & it's been on my mind since: it feels a little odd to have a content warning before your sidequest, and then not give you any way to skip the quest if it's content you don't think you'd be able to handle. Especially given there's a whole event & rewards that only unlock afterwards!!

OK on to the contents of the quest itself. There's a lot of themes of love and connection and empathy in the face of systemic cruelty or indifference, in this game in general, and a lot of how that manifests is stories about characters fighting for self-determination and agency (the Ostrons trying to stay free of the Grineer, the Solaris trying to destroy the systems that keep them in debt & deny them bodily autonomy, Umbra, the Tenno, the Lotus, etc etc).

I think it's interesting to try and explore a tragedy where we aren't able to help someone in time, where the powers that be have brutalized someone and we as individuals aren't able to get there in the nick of time & help them claw their agency back. I think it's an interesting thematic & emotional through-line (with very strong parallels to Ordis... very smart choice to make him the event vendor / narrator, I'm feasting good on all the new dialogue LOL), and I think there have been enough well-written woman characters in the game that don't get written out or killed for the sake of some man's tragedy or growth that I don't immediately roll my eyes about them trying a So Sad The Woman Dies story.

I do also think this would have hit harder if we got more information about Jade herself!! I realize "this woman broke a law and was completely dehumanized / made into a Thing by the empire, stripping her of herself to suit their ends" is Kind Of The Point, and they make enough of a fuss about "wow there's a lot that's redacted about her history, huh!" that I assume this is a plot thread they're leaving hanging for later. But I feel like the big moment would have resonated better if they gave us a little more info to establish this character, other than "she was heterosexual" and "the Orokin were fucked up, don't forget" haha.

(I do find it funny that the storyline about Ballas, who got Divorced So Badly that he Caused Nearly All Of Today's Problems, is all wrapped up, but the story keeps going "no no, don't worry, there's still plenty of opportunity to remind you how fucked the Orokin were." Here's these two people that broke some insipid law about conceiving a child & so their bosses and leaders broke their brains and turned them into bio-weapon lapdogs as punishment. Every time they go "BTW Something Was Deeply Wrong With The Orokin & We Still Feel The Aftershock Of That Today" I clap my hands like a seal.)

Warframe Babies Are Born!!!!! This little tyke is fuckin weird. What's their problem. I think it's weird and cool. I don't really feel much about "this character is a parent now!" type of storylines. (I did pop off when Stalker got to do his shithead honourable samurai defending a child with one arm thing. I'm a sucker for that & they made it coooooool. It feels like they're setting up some kind of "Lone Wolf and Cub" situation. The scythe being juiced up with BabysPower was also funny.) The baby thing is neat to me from the perspective of, like... This is something weird and new that's never happened before in this universe. That's exciting and kind of scary! I'm interested to see where they go with that. (Presumably in a year or two. Very funny to drop this on us when a completely different major story arc is right around the corner with 1999.)

Gianni's delivery was fuckin killer. I'm excited for whatever next arc they do with Stalker if it means they're gonna pay my boy to grunt and yell and scream more. It feels very strange to be acquainted with two people who've done voice acting in "Warframe" now. Me next? ^_^

I like our new Corpus weirdo. I hope she comes back. Fun to get more stuff with the Sisters of Parvos & with Mr. Granum himself. But I liked her a lot. It got a fuckin laugh out of me to have her through all the quest excited about her big promotion that she's going to get & resolving that with "Is that a fuckin baby??? Fuuuuuck! They don't pay me enough to shoot a baby with a gatling gun!" I wish her ending scene was a little more than just stoically standing aside but literally anything else I can think of feels way too cheesy or on-the-nose.

The facial animations on the Operator were really fuckin weird. I just remembered that. I thought that was just a thing on my end but I watched someone else play & the faces looked weird for them too.

Hunhow's a good inclusion. I like him seeing the Stalker stewing in his own misery because he hates the only people that could offer him help & going "aw man, c'mon buster, don't be like me now." I like his signature that he puts in his emails. I like that he's still an emotionally constipated weirdo that hates us but is still endeared to us in some way. (They make nods to The New Strange in his ending email, which makes sense given that this also feels like a quest setting up More Weird Shit In The Future, but I do get a laugh that it also reads as "JADE WAS PREGNANT? OKAY... WELL. DON'T FORGET THAT I HAVE A WOMB TOO, KID." Thanks Grandpa. Love you too Grandpa. Thanks for the sweeties Grandpa.)

The event quest feels like a nice bow on top. I like the parallels between Jade and Ordis. Wanting to afford her the dignity in death he could never be given. Acknowledgement of Ordan Karris is fun!!! (The line about him being conflicted with the thought of Granum un-cephalon'ing him has me rubbing my hands together.) I'm excited that we're getting so much of Parvos Granum lately. What a shit head. It's funny to see him so hyped up about Ordan. "Duuuude! Your history's famous killer!! That's awesome? Do you wanna work for me? C'monnnnn we both hate the legacy of the Orokin. Wouldn't it be awesome if MY rule was the one dehumanizing you and wielding you as a weapon instead?" This is something they've been establishing as early as "Parvos and Ballas in bed with one another doing shady back-room deals over a Warframe bodyguard and specter particle research" but it's fun whenever they sow the seeds of Parvos being so much like the Orokin he hated.

I wrote more than I thought I was going to!!! I like the thematic through-line idea of this quest but I wish they executed on it better. I like the stuff this is presumably establishing for the future. I really like the event quest as... not quite an epilogue, I guess, but as an addition. Other than that I thought it was okay! I wasn't expecting anywhere near the level of Whispers in the Walls, but that quest being such a high bar makes a "pretty okay" quest stick out to me a little, haha.

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Did you guess what BRF’s baby names would be and if so, what were your guesses? And which is your favourite?

I am way too proud of the fact that (as a history nerd) I guessed George because of the strong family line / George VI. I guessed Charlotte, Alice or Louise due to those being Queen Victoria’s daughters’ names that have been reused - but Charlotte was my top guess. I never guessed for Louis and wouldn’t have guessed his name anyway.

I didn't really play the guessing game for baby names.

I had a feeling a baby girl would Charlotte because of the Princess Royal pattern, but only for a non-heir daughter (as our Charlotte ended up being). I'm less confident William and Kate would have chosen Charlotte for a firstborn child - on the one hand, a) there hasn't been a Queen Regnant Charlotte before and they don't strike me as being that kind of a history-maker and b) I'm not sure that they were close enough to Charles at the time to be able to tolerate the amount of "Future Queen named after Future King Grandpa" PR Charles's team would have put out in 2013. But on the other hand, Charlotte follows the Goldsmith pattern - Carole (eldest daughter) and Catherine (eldest daughter).

I liked Alexander for George but I knew they wouldn't choose it for a first name because there hasn't been a King Alexander before and I feel like Elizabeth's "I'll choose my own name, of course" decision has set a modern tradition for the BRF. I don't think we'll see another British monarch use a middle name for their regnant name (e.g., how David became Edward VIII and Albert became George VI) again. I was pleased to see that Alexander is one of young George's middle names.

I liked Michael for Louis. If Charlotte honors Charles, Carole, and Diana, then it's only fair for Michael (Kate's father) to be included too. I also liked James for Louis too, but I knew it wouldn't be chosen because of then-Viscount Severn (William's cousin James), James Middleton, and James Matthews (Pippa's husband).

If William and Kate were to have had a fourth child -- and there was a period of time 2020/2021 when a lot of royal tarot readers and astrologists saw William and Kate having a fourth child and that child being a daughter -- I liked Lucy for her. Only for the parallels to The Chronicles of Narnia. But I think Frances or Francesca may have had the better chance of being chosen as it honors both Michael Middleton and, of course, Diana, since William and Kate's choices have all been rooted in their family.

Ernest threw me for huge loop (Eugenie's younger son). That kid's going to have a rough time in school. He'd have been better off as Ronnie.

August is fine. Unexpected, but on trend with today's baby names.

Archie and Lilibet were also very unexpected choices. Archie is fine but 'Harrison' for a middle name seems like Meghan was going for a branding opportunity, versus naming a person. Lilibet is the tragedeigh of the Windsor family and what a shame, because again, Meghan was naming a brand, rather than a person.

[soosoosoup]

Haaayy can you tell us more about your au where branch finds cooper's egg?

Hiiii!! Thanks for asking! And of course :)

lol turns out I had a lot more thought out. Fair warning, none of this is concrete, this was thought up a while ago and uhhhhh… writing is not my strong suit lol

In this au I had debated whether to make copper a little bit younger, I already hc him as the youngest of the snack pack so idk if its needed lol.

While in the beginning of making his bunker, branch (who’s maybe 7??) would travel farther out into the forest and gather supplies to build when he stumbles on what looks like an egg? Just in time too, ‘cause Coops pops out like in twt, does his little groove, & then proceeds to flop over to nap (being baby is tiring work).

Branch is just ??? cause like what?? Baby? Way out here in the woods?? Why does the baby have 4 legs??? Why is said baby all alone? And that last part makes b pause for a sec bc where’s his family? Did he lose them? Or is it even worse…was he left behind? (He might be projecting a lil).

Cooper and Branch proceed to live where other kids w/o families go. Caretakers try to care for cooper & he is not having it. After all, branch is the first person he’d ever seen, was the first person who’d carried him. He’s imprinted on branch and whole heartedly believes and he is his family. So if C needs to be taken care of B has to be there. It goes on long enough that the caretaker decides it'll just easier if branch helped take care of him; and who knows maybe he'll regain his color being around such a happy little goober.

At first, branch doesn’t realize how much he means to C and assumes his attachment will fade. After all why wouldn’t it when he’s being doted on by warm and cheerful trolls. But nope! Whenever the caretakers aren't taking cooper around the village, Cooper is always following Branch. Around the pod, and through the woods. Branch looks out for him, talks to him, teaches him what he can, and even plays games! I think the fact that branch has been a part of Coopers whole life gives him a sense of obligation perhaps like a big brother?. It's easy to be open to him.

All attempts to foster Cooper are unsuccessful. It's not that Cooper doesn't match the family, it's that he just doesn't want to live with them. Imagine a foster family having the time of their lives singing & playing around & when the time comes Cooper's like 'I had a lot of fun today! Time to go! what?? Stay here? be a part of your family? ...Nope :D

When the time comes that the bunker can feasibly house him, (preteen?) Branch packs up what little he owns, and prepares to leave that night. It's not like the anyone at the orphanage would chase after him. Well, except for one trolling.

It's been years, long enough that their bond is strong, they're brothers in all but name. At least unnamed on branch's side, he kind of refuses to acknowledge it.

Anyway- Branch waits until everyone falls asleep and sneaks out. He doesn't even make it out of the room lol. One foot out the door and a sleepy voice is asking him where he's going. Branch just says he's going to the bunker, that he'll see him soon, it won't be forever you see what im trying to parallel? and it's true. It's not like he's leaving to who knows where. Cooper just nods & yawns out a "bye, see you later". Love me a parallel

Branch lasts an hour or two in the bunker. He's on edge the whole time, racked w/ guilt. Has a little mental spiral until there is just one loud thought of 'what am i doing? there's someone waiting for me' and runs back.

In the joined room, Cooper fell asleep on branch's bed waiting for him. So making sure not to wake him, Branch rests coopers head on his lap. Leaning against the headboard Branch just stares at his vest left at the end of the bed & has a moment of clarity. Like oh, that's why i felt terrible, i left my little brother behind. (Keep in mind that no, he didn’t really do that, but he’s a kid and that whole ‘see you later’ really shook him so he’s making some jumps in logic)(there some projecting happening as well)

So yeah, gained a brother!! yay!!! Cooper beat you to that revelation yeeaarrrss ago lol.

One thing I like about branch being a big bro is this idea that the more he learns about what it means to be one, the less he can understand his brothers. And are they his brothers?? Over the years it’s not looking like it.

[aiza-luna]

Watch Dogs Headcanons - Animal Quirks/ Symbolisms.

By Aiza Luna :D

Feels like I'm writting a newspaper but nah, just more delulu Aiza journal 😭

Anyways!! Remember when I said I had Headcanons of giving my fav characters animal refs/ symbolisms? Well... Decided to do that today! 🥳

So lemme start with the list! First gonna do with some of the characters from WD1 that got most of my attention/ are more well-known. ( PS: trigger warning for people with Arachnophobia when arriving at Clara's part? Is right under Aiden's, skip if you so wish)

Aiden Pearce - Gray Fox. (Urocyon cinereoargenteus)

Ok, this one is basically common knowledge since we all know that's where his damn nickname comes from lol.

Aiden has a lot of paralels with Gray Foxes, from the round faces, to climbing skills to hunting abilities!

Foxes in general represents Cunniness, Witt, a Sharp Mind and a Dubious Morality with it's Trickstery Nature. However, Gray Foxes represent neutrality, a symbol of maturity, but also sadness and indecisiveness... That sounds familiar, does it? It fits Aiden's description awfully well!

For my HC of his mannerism:

- When Aiden was younger, he used to climb trees all the time back at Belfast. His mom used to yell at him afraid he would fall. ( Wich he did. A lot actually.)

- Like a fox, he has great hearing, detecting easily when people are approaching by.

- He loves fruit (He likes Strawberry Shortcake and Banana Cake) and meat! Although he rarely has time to cook for himself and relies heavily on fast food, he is an enjoyer of chicken and hare meats!

- When Aiden manages to sleep without stress (in very rare occasions), he tend to sleep curled up under his sheets without noticing.

- He has a strong smell. When not because of his constant exercises running after criminals, is because of his wooden deodorant + his trench coat of leather. lol

(Like even after showering, his smell is not bad, just strong than usual.)

- His face is secretly very sensible. If he shaves his face and gets touched their somehow, he'll shiver and recoil bc that's a VERY sensitive face. Even with his stubbles, he can easily feel the texture and touch of someone on his cheeks, like a fox with it's whiskers. 🥺

Clara Lille - Trapdoor Spider! (Liphistius malayanus)

This one is also, once again, common knowledge! I mean, she's called like that in game- lol

Our dear Badboy17, the tattoo girlboss herself, it's pretty obvious where the spider parallels go with Clara: Her lethality, how she work in the dark, carefully using the web in her favor... But is there more to it? 🤔

Spiders represent the Resilience, Unseen Danger and the Connectedness.

All those meanings fit Clara perfect: She's connected to many things, Aiden, the Club, Dedsec... She works in the dark corners, weaving her web of connections and the benefits she can get of it. Similarly, she is an unseen danger, a person that can discover everything about others without them even suspecting, and using that against them... But she's also Resilient. Despite her connections and actions, she weaved her own path to redemption on helping Aiden, to try to fix her mistake and make amends for her past actions... And much like a spider, she was easily killed, because while Spiders are easy to disappear from our sight, people won't think twice about killing them if they're considered a "threat" to them...

For my HC of her mannerisms:

- Clara is excelent with handscraft: Eletronics, Art, Sewing... She's great at anything that requires hand work since she's very precise and perfectionist.

- She's into Urban Exploration! She loves to find dark, abandoned and hidden places left in urban areas, specially if they have some connection to Blume as a bonus.

- One of her favorite foods is Sushi! Is quick, pratical and she just like fishes. (One of Trapdoor Spiders prey 🥰)

- Is not afraid of insects but doesn't like them at all, will either kill or try to take them away from the place, if the insect is harmless.

- Clara has pretty good instinct, mostly reflex in near-body combat, but she rarely displays them since she rarely needs to fight someone nowdays or is caught offguard by gunned opponents.

- She is a solitary person, in the sense that she stays hidden in her little corner and rarely gets out with others, aside for working at the tatto studio she works on. :')

Jordi Chin - Korat Cat. (Felis Catus)

This one was suggested by @paul-poppy-art but I think everyone here agrees Jordi gives major cat energy. XD

Our favorite Fixer is funny, odd and sarcastic lovable sociopathic asshole and we all know it, but saying out loud, that does fit the description of a cat! 😂

Cats are hunters, and their symbolism is mostly tied to Indenpendence, Inteligence and Mystery, this fits Jordi perfect.

A man that works indenpendely, his only criteria is who pays more, wich will be more advanteging to him. An Inteligent and calculative killer that always has a plan in mind and a mysterious person whose' past we know nothing about! Still, he stays by Aiden's side and display his affection in a more non-verbal way (like a cat lol)

For my HC of his mannerisms:

- He has a pretty light walking, you can't hear him comming behind you... Wich is either very dangerous or annoying, depending on your situation.

- Jordi is incredibly sensitive to his surroundings and always knows what is happening around him. You can't surprise him, you simply can't.

- When not working, he tends to stay layed down or sit a lot, like a "big lazy cat". lol

- Is a clean freak. Likes to keep all his work and himself the most well-presented her can. He absolutely despite Aiden's lack of self-care. 😭

- Has extremily good reflexes and flexibility, if he gets to you, you're Fcked. (proof is at WD2)

- Is not a verbal type of guy to express his feelings, but more of the type of doing small gestures to the people he cares for. He brings them food as one of his love languages.

(Kinda like when a cat brings a bird at home to "feed their human". lol)

T-Bone Grady - Bearded Collie Dog. (Canis Lupus Familiaris)

Now is turn for the legendary Hacker Dilf himself!! 🥳

Honestly T-Bone was both easy and hard because well... His name. XD

I struggled a Lot with what race he could be, but looking a bit up, I think Bearded Collie would fit like a glove! For his character design, mostly. 😂

Dogs symbolism is tied to Loyalty, Fidelity, Alertness and Protection.

We see this a lot on T-Bone, he won't hesitate to attack to defend himself, although to his friend's he's loyal and always watch over them and their safety.

(Him trying to reach Aiden to alert him in the Bad Blood DLC) and of course, him always being in alert for Fixers after him.

My personal HCs for his mannerisms:

- Will occasionally pace around or throw/ destruct somethings if too stressed.

- Spend a lot of time on his hair and beared, and tends to let some hair strings behind.

(like a true big furred dog lol)

- Like the Bearded Collie breed, T-Bone doesn't usually "bark", he bites first.

(See his meeting with Aiden-)

- Can't really stay inside for too long, gets easily bored and just generally hates being idly by.

- Is curious and enjoys a challenge, this old a-hole will take anything to unlock areas/ information that no one else has access to.

(See his Wiki)

- Will always be around the people he cares for, like, physically. He follows/ stays around his friends like a dog with his owner. 😭

(Shows much more Physical Display of Affection out of the main Trio tbh)

Nicole Anne Pearce - Bumblebee. (Bombus)

HEAR ME OUT OK? The patterns on her shirt and her color palette reminded me so much of a Bumblebee! 😭

They're so chonky and floofy! Tell me Nicky ain't cute like them? 🥺🥹

Bumblebees symbolises Hardwork, Productivity, New Beginings and the Importance of a Community! I think those describes Nicole very well!

She's a hard-working single mother providing for her child(ren), her job as an Event Planner reminds me of the systematic work system of bees! Her community (family) is extremily important to her and she fought for their best... Unfortunetly, she had to re-start her life after everything that happened in WD, so all the animal symbolisms fit her character very well. :')

My personal HC for her mannerisms:

- She has the habit of "hum" while working, doing chores or running errands.

(Like the buzz of a bee lol)

-Nicky loves flowers but she doesn't have a garden since she rarely has time to dedicate to it. :')

-She loves honey! And she used to eat a lot of honey-made when she was a kid! 🥰

- Woman can't stay still, she's always moving around trying to do things: Chores, return calls, etc. Aiden used o joke she was "too much of a busy bee".

- She has a pretty characteristic floral smell. Almost all her house smell likes a garden, always with a floral hint in the air.

(Aiden used to find it comforting whenever he visited her and the kids.)

And that's it for today!! There are still missing some other characters from WD1 I still wanted to correlate to animal symbolisms, but this already long af 🥲

I'll (MAYBE) post a part II about the other characters I wanted to associate + another part talking about WD2 characters and their animal symbolisms I Headcanon them with 🥰

Anyways, thank you all so much for reading my delulu ramble, love you all 🙏🏽🩵

[loquaciousquark]

I finished my Durge run! Got that Tactician achievement too, hoorah. Lots of thoughts about the Dark Urge/Astarion romance under the cut.

My final thoughts now that I've finished it - it's fine. Honestly? It's fine. I think there are some interesting parallels drawn specifically for his backstory with Cazador compared to the Dark Urge trying to resist the urges, but I didn't come out of the romance feeling like it was the end-all be-all One True Romance version for the character. I think there are some interesting dialogue lines ("is today a 'wed you with a delicate veil of blood staining your white curls' kind of day?" made me laugh every time), and it's definitely fun to see some major hurt/comfort vibes play out on screen in the attack-the-romance scene, for sure. That said, I didn't feel like there wasn't anything in that romance I couldn't get for myself with a dominate spell and 4k words of fic with a Tav I like much more.

And like, there's nothing at all wrong with the Dark Urge background! I think it's really interesting to have that internal struggle kind of flavoring the run, and of course it makes sense to have strong Bhaalspawn ties in this particular canon. I think the stuff that's added with Isobel and Scleritas and Orin is very interesting and it definitely added depth to to the Sarevok interactions, and even the conversations with Withers had a lot more nuance! I can definitely see why some people call it Tav+, because it is a customizable character with a lot of extra dialogue options that a regular Tav doesn't get.

That said, the particular type of character that Dark Urge is is one that's not as compelling to me, and setting that up against Astarion's arc felt correspondingly less compelling than the Tav arc I made on my first rogue run. I've played amnesiac characters with a twist before (KOTOR) and in that game I found myself similarly uninvested in the character to the point that I went full Dark Side with her very early in the narrative. To date, she's the only evil main character I've ever intentionally played! There's just something about that blank slate background that doesn't appeal - I find that my characters are generally very strongly shaped by their histories and backstories, even if the details of those backstories develop over the course of the game. They make choices because of who they are and what they've experienced and who they've lost and loved, and I find it hard to create a character with a consistent internal moral needle when there's no backstory to guide it.

And I guess that's part of why the Resist path for the Durge just makes me internally go ???? Because realistically, if I've spent my entire formative life being excitedly murderous, ritually necrophiliac, gleefully cannibalistic, and generally not very nice, why does the amnesia change that? Why would that character want to become something else? How do I internally justify a character making that sort of MASSIVE ethical and moral shift just because of a brainworm and a knock on the noggin? I get that it's fun as a player to try to play a good character with these unexplained evil urges, and I totally get why it's narratively satisfying to see good arise from the ashes of corruption, but I just can't find a way to make the character want to be good in the first place! I had this problem with Revan and I've had it again with the Durge, and that foundational schism was just something I could never really overcome enough to buy into the immersive fiction of the character.

Plus, as far as the Astarion romance goes, I think the Durge arc generally pushes into that similar need to resist the uncontrollable commands given to you by an outsider. It's very much the same space. The thing is, Astarion tells you he knows how important it is to resist those compulsions in the night attack scene, but--we KNOW he couldn't! We know he tried for two hundred years and never once could defy Cazador, and it broke him so badly he gave up resisting at all. And there's some interesting parallels there maybe, that he wants so badly for you to succeed that he's willing to ignore two hundred years of his own personal history, but it puts a pretty despairing tinge to the whole first half of the romance arc. And honestly, that makes me very sad for him.

I think it's just again a less riveting pairing. The Durge/Astarion romance is about both of them overcoming external compulsion through inner will and good choices and white-knuckled defiance, except the timescales of those compulsions are vastly different. And maybe there's a little bit of needing to depend on each other's support to do that, but it's not really so for Durge; you can do the entire Bhaalspawn questline without having Astarion in your party once and you only lose out on a few lines of dialogue. He definitely cares about you, sure, and he can talk to you about how worried he is for you, and that's nice--but there aren't a lot of times where his emotional support is directly critical for you to overcome your urges. On the other hand, I think it's arguable that your friendship (and relationship) with Astarion are directly responsible for his success against Cazador with that last persuasion/insight check combo. If you could have his emotional support be more directly impactful in terms of your ability to resist the urges or Bhaal in Orin's temple, I think I'd be more on board.

In addition, I find two characters going through the exact same narrative arc at the same time not as interesting. Like, if Astarion already had beaten Cazador before the Durge stuff happened and he could directly talk about what was successful for him and help you along the way, I think that might honestly have interested me a bit more. The mirrored arcs we have instead are a little less fascinating than complementary ones. And honestly, there's something about Durge trying to relate to Astarion's centuries of struggle with their own, like, two days of fighting that compulsion, that feels just a little pfeh to me.

And maybe that's why I liked my original Tav so much? As I developed the romance with Astarion, I could shape elements from her backstory (and the way she changed and grew from those events) to make a character that I felt resonated complementarily with Astarion's arc and emotional needs. I could create a character whose defining trait was hope and had always been hope her whole life, because I feel like that's a useful trait to have against an LI who explicitly lost all hope in any rescue. A character who has stubbornly clung to hope throughout a miserable broken life and a miserable broken family paired against a character with a similar background who's lost that hope and has to relearn it--I like that! I like that the characters can teach each other things and can learn from each other. I like that they can make each other better by sharing aspects of themselves that the other person doesn't have.

Having a hopeful Durge doesn't feel the same, because first, that hope is incredibly recent and only comes out over the course of the game because right before the game started, they were still full murderbaby. It's not as longstandingly stubborn despite setback after setback over many many years the way I can have Tav be. And second, again, I can't figure out why an otherwise perfectly content murderous bastard would ever want to hope for anything else after taking a fall off a skyship. I guess that's my biggest problem, that I can't get into the fiction of the character at its baseline well enough to build anything of substance on top of it.

So now, having gone through both the Tav/Astarion romance and the Dark Urge/Astarion romance, I can definitively say I prefer the Tav version. I think the extra stuff you get in the Durge run is fun, and I think the Durge material itself is great and wonderfully tied to the lore outside of the romance, but in terms of the Astarion romance itself, it's just not as captivating. Too similar in the wrong ways and too disjointed in the ways that matter most, and I'd rather have a Tav I can build to fit what I want, someone I can shape to draw out the elements of his character I'm most interested in exploring.

I will say that at one point my Durge sorcerer did roll a 44 on a persuasion check at one point, which was extremely exciting. But I think I'll be going back to my "canon" rogue Tav on my next game to figure out that exact story now that I know her much better, and that'll almost certainly be the one I stick with for future fics.

[adarkrainbow]

Spooky season fairytales (2)

If there are two "Halloween fairytales" among the great and well-known classics, it would be "Hansel and Gretel" (see my previous post), and "Snow-White".

I have to admit that Snow-White has strong connotations with winter, and has been interpreted many times as a winter or spring tale (the spring interpretation being part of this wave of analysis which has every female fairytale protagonist saved from death or sleep be a symbol of spring - Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood, and many more). But when you think about it, Snow-White is the perfect Halloween tale. It involves kind of "resurrecting" the dead. It involves a witch as an antagonist. It is centered around an apple, which is THE Halloween fruit. It relies on the use of disguises. It has a magical mirror - and Halloween was a night for divination by mirror and other mirror-rituals. EVERYTHING IS HERE!

And it also helps that surprisingly, it got the horror treatment many, many times. More than actual horrifying fairytales. But I'll blame this on the first movie in my "Spooky watch-list":

DISNEY'S SNOW WHITE!

Why is it on a list of creepy, dark and horror movies you ask? Because this movie, despite being incredibly sweet and a childhood classic, was also frigginly terrifying. It traumatized entire generations of children - kids had to be removed from theaters due to some of the creepy sequences. And still today horror pieces take inspiration from Disney's movie!

Three specific sequences form the "horror trio" of this movie. 1) The scene of Snow-White fleeing the hunter in the forest, and her terror-induced hallucinations which make the forest a place of horror. 2) The scene of the Witch-Queen going in her skeletons-flled dungeons, brewing deadly poisons, and ESPECIALLY the scene of her painful and frightening transformation into the old hag. The old hag herself is a terrifying visual which defined the image of a witch for most of the 20th century, and stayed a children's bogeywoman for generations. (By extension the Magic Mirror itself is a very creepy element of the movie, with its eeriness and uncanniness) 3) The sequence going from Snow-White's death to the death of the wicked queen. This climax of the movie is also yet another scene of great terror for any little kid.

Overall, it is ironic, but Disney's Snow-White stays one of the creepiest and more frightening faithful retellings of the Grimm fairytales - at least for a third of the movie. The rest is just wholeness cuteness and beautiful animation.

Of course, nowadays when you search for "dark fairytale movies", you will always end up hearing about 2012's "Snow-White and the Huntsman". One of the two Snow-White movies released on this year, alongside "Mirror Mirror" - and the two competing in very different lanes, since Mirror Mirror was a more light-hearted, humoristic, and "traditional fantasy" take on the fairytale, whereas "Snow-White and the Huntsman" was a "grimdark" take on the story, which marked the grimdark genre of the 2010s clearly embodied by the televisual success of "Game of Thrones".

I also like to draw a parallel between this movie and "Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters", which form the two "adult dark action-fantasy" fairytale movies of the 2010s. Not that they are identical, far from it - "Witch Hunters" is a fast-paced, video-game-like, "punch-em-all-kill-em-all-and-big-explosions-everywhere" type of "dark fantasy action movie", with a lot of humor (or of attempts at humor), while this movie truly goes for gritty fight scenes, vicious war depictions, and is dead-serious in its treatment of the story as a grand epic about survival in the wilds, the destruction of nature, evil sorcery and kingdom-destroying conflicts.

If you ask me, I understand why the reception of this movie was very divisive, and why it was a success despite everybody mocking it or hating it at the time of its release. This movie is a true "neutral" piece. It is an admirable movie - because it has absolutely stunning visuals, impressing special effects, and it is a gorgeous movies with some fascinating and clever ideas. It does take inspiration from the Disney movie "Snow White and the seven dwarfs", very clearly, but the way it twists these references into proper horror material or true dark fantasy matter (such as the "dark forest") is done very well. But it is also unfortunately a forgetable movie by many aspects. For example, I personally did not care about the two titular characters (Snow-White and the Huntsman) which did not felt like actual characters, but more like simple "plot-puppets", here to clearly fulfill a very archetypal and stereotyped fantasy plotline filled with rushed elements and extremely-thin character development. Hopefully not all the characters are bad - and in fact, beyond the stunning visuals, there is one character this movie should be seen for.

Ravenna, the evil queen. She is definitively one of the "best" part of this movie (though definitively one of the most evil and vile characters of fairytale movies) - everything about her from her concept (the queen of Snow-White turned fantasy evil overlord/inhuman witch-queen) to her crazy outfits passing by her impressive magic spells and the way her actress truly offers an intensely deranged embodiment of narcissistic evil... This is one of the more monstrous and frightening depictions of the evil queen I saw and I am all here for it. Two scenes in particular stand out for me: the poisoned apple scene (which is a true twist that does come off as very well executed) and the concept of the "magic" mirror and how it works.

Unfortunately, for an excellent half of the movie, there is another that is... at best average, at worst boring - hence the "neutral" of this movie. And of course, there is also the very awkward fact that instead of hiring dwarf actors for playing the dwarfs, they hired big-named actors of average height who were then "shrunk" by special effects... A very bad move that did not go unnoticed at the movie's release and does hit a bit more this very ambitious but ultimately half-working piece. Go watch it for Ravenna, for the Dark Forest, for the Sanctuary and the Magic Mirror and the poisoned apple scene... But the rest you can skip without losing much.

However, "Snow White and the Huntsman" was certainly not the first attempt at making Snow-White a dark and mature fantasy movie. Oh no! There was a predecessor long before it - a movie that should not be forgotten and did mark the history of Snow-White adaptations. I am talking of course of the 1997's "Snow White: A Tale of Terror", still coming at the top of "dark fairytale movie" lists.

This movie as to my knowledge the first real attempt at making a horror story out of Snow-White - in a time when making fairytales dark and "edgy" wasn't a common fashion. It also stood out for many different reasons - but it most notably stood out for its treatment of the "evil queen" character, Lady Claudia, played by none other than friggin' Sigourney Weaver herself! One has to watch the movie just to see Weaver's performance and appreciate the handling of the character of Claudia. This movie was one of the first ones who tried to depict the "wicked stepmother" of the tale as an actual human being, driven to evil rather than just evil from the beginning. Claudia is a woman who is seen falling into despair and madness as she is hit with all sorts of blights, ranging from things we can relate to (an impossible relationship between step-daughter and step-mother) to absolutely awful things - and this all serves to draw an explanation as to where her narcissistic vanity and where her hatred from Snow-White comes from, instead of just cartoonish petty jealousy. And once the human side of the character has been fully established, we delve into a terrifyingly inhuman one, as she becomes a dreadfully powerful wicked witch - to tell you the scope of this movie, the first two attempts at murdering Snow-White, the comb and the corset, were replaced here by Claudia summoning NATURAL DISASTERS.

Mind you this movie is far from being perfect - and while it is admirable in term of fairytale movies, it is definitively not working great as a movie simple. For the most part it works and is absolutely "gorgeous" (sometimes in the most repulsive ways): you have good acting, cool ideas and concepts, fascinating costumes and set pieces (the "magic mirror" is immensely cool), some good practical special effects, and very cunning use and display of character psychology and character growth (I especially appreciated the twist of Snow-White, here Lilly, trusting the obviously monstrous and frightening old woman, because she learned from experiences to not trust appearances and that ugliness doesn't mean evilness).

But all that being said, there's flaws. Already if you are an animal lover be careful: there are some visuals that can be harsh, and there are some animal stunts that seemed dangerously unsafe (I unfortunately could not find information on if animals were actually hurt). Outside of that, the climax of the story and grand final does seem a bit confusing and throw-around a bit, with some stuff coming out of nowhere, some things never explained (and not in the good "mysterious" way, in the "I want the visual and the idea but I don't know how to fit it in" kind of way), and there's some moments where you sense they truly wanted to go far with the shock value (*cough cough* the father tied to the upside-down cross* cough cough*). Plus there's the whole rushed relationship between Lilly (Snow White) and the outlaws (seven dwarfs - except here only one is a dwarf). You start with a point A (Lily is the terrified hostage of outlaws that are not pleasant nor kind) and you have a point C (Lily is now a good friend of the outlaws and admired by them, and even has a romantic tension with one of them - you can guess which, he's the one they purposefully made sexier than the other), but the point B about the development of such a character growth is missing.

Overall it feels that this movie was a project too ambitious for its means and for its time - but we won't hold a grudge towards it, because for its two thirds it stays a brilliant and truly strong piece of dark fairytale storytelling with excellent ideas (that were truly new and groundbreaking at the time of the movie's release), and while the last third is confused, rushed and incomplete, you still feel the heart and the intentions there.

However if I end up learning animals were actually hurt during the making of the movie, I'll really be pissed off (I am especially thinking about the horse stunts at the beginning, which didn't look really safe).

Not a movie, but to conclude this post I HAVE to mention Neil Gaiman's brilliant and disturbing shot story "Snow, Glass Apples". Released in 1994 - and it is no spoiler what the story is about now - it is not the first time someone reimagined Snow-White as a vampire (Tanith Lee did it before in her "Red as Blood" book), but it is certainly the most popular take on this idea and what in fact made this concept more well-known in popular culture.

Beware however - because this isn't just about Snow-White being a vampire, and the "stepmother" an actual benevolent queen and good witch, in a simple twist of the original tale. Oh no... It is a dark and depraved (in a good way) piece that depicts Snow-White as a old-fashioned vampire, in the style of the original Dracula and the folk monsters that came before him. We are talking of a frightening nightmare, of a village-decimating plague, of a repulsive undead succubus, of a blood-sucking beast in human shape...

One thing I do find fascinating with this story is that in its depraved elements, it ends up being an eerie echo to the first chapter of "Ludwig Revolution". Those that read the manga will know what I am talking about.

If you do not want to read the short story (despite it being actually available for public freely right here), there is a brilliant and gorgeous comic-book adaptation by Colleen Doran released in 2019. The beautiful, detailled, richly ornated, carefully-crafted art of Doran serves to better highlight the Gothic morbidity and the repulsive folklore behind this tragic and poetically bleak retelling, by adding fairytale colors to the nightmare, and freezing the horror in a stained glass.

[sybaritick]

"Which Of Cal's BG3 Fics Should I Read?" Flowchart

1 / Do you have a strong ship preference?

yes, for Bloodweave, Astarion/Gale: go to 3

no, any ship is good: go to 2

2 / Consent issues...

are hot admittedly. i love coercion and power imbalance: go to 4

are not what I am looking to read about today: go to 5

3 / One of the things I really like about Bloodweave is...

the parallels between Gale's condition and Astarion's vampirism: read oh, rotten little thing!

Gale absolutely seems like the type to want to get bitten by a vampire: go to 6

their banter and teasing: go to 7

4 / and when it comes to said dubiously consensual situations...

I enjoy a little mind control/hypnosis/enchantment to get somebody's guard down: go to 8

I want it to be all-natural manipulation, no magic necessary: go to 9

5 / but something I do kink on is...

Gale should get fat: read Appetites, then catalyst!

a little D/s roleplay about what might have happened if Astarion went through with the ascension: read Alternatives!

cute post-canon established relationship + Gale getting walked in in when he's trying out some particular uses of Mage Hand: read On Concentration!

6 / You're so right about this. And when might Gale be daydreaming about said vampire bite?

in act 1, because Astarion's so sweetly manipulating Gale into being a willing food source: read nor heaven peep through the blanket of dark!

in act 3, after Astarion's been plying him with sweets: read Appetites!

post-canon months after Astarion's ascension, because even though Gale has long since left him, he can't quite get the thought of him off his mind...: read At Knifepoint!

7 / and about said teasing...

it should be because Gale's gotten himself all caught up in the remnants of an Ensnaring Strike: read Ensnared!

it should be about Gale's thing for femdom... especially when it comes to Drow women uwu: read Certain Talents!

8 / I like your taste. How heavy do you want it?

gut his higher brain functions for me: read Incentives for Compliance!

just a little something to take the edge off, and Gale's baiting you into it, really: read Suggestion!

just a little something to coax him a bit closer in this already-fucked-up situation: read At Knifepoint!

9 / and you'd like to leverage that +6 to persuasion and deception for what in particular? The world's your oyster, with that sort of charm.

slow-burn moral corruption because you know how useful Gale could be if it weren't for the lingering remnants of ethical principles: read Tephra Year!

I just think he could stand to put on a few pounds: read Appetites (and if you've read Tephra Year, definitely read Highharvestide as well!)

i just enjoy bizarre mind games more than sex. i want them fully clothed standing across the room utterly fascinated with one another. and i like default!Durge: read Grim Trigger!

convincing Gale to let me bite him while he's rendered helpless by sussur flowers' anti-magic properties: read nor heaven peep through the blanket of dark!

enjoy! :D

[yjano]

Who I am now?

Part 11.

Pairing: Jake x Mc.

Genre: Angst, comedy, dark romance.

Warnings: Strong language, angst scenes. 18+ content can be found.

Words: 5.9k

Author's note: This story contains mature topics and is not fully related to the duskwood game. A different parallel with different personalities. Thank you everyone for following and liking this! lly.♡

•

.

Jake focus.

.

The next morning, I walked out of the shower, feeling refreshed and tousling my dark wet hair with a towel. I entered the main bedroom, wearing a pair of ripped jeans and a black hoodie. I stopped in my tracks when I noticed Mc helping herself to the complimentary breakfast of warm buttered toast and the black coffees provided by the couple who owned the place.

I gulped, letting the hand holding the towel drop to my side as I was studying Mc discreetly, walking toward her. It's all cool, Jake. Just simply grab your toast and don't scare her. Stay calm. An exhausted Mc was curled up against the corner of the couch, wearing a red hoodie Lex had donated her. She was biting into her buttered toast. Upon noticing my gaze on her, Mc pulled the hood of the jumper over her head, covering half of her face and shielding her dark circles and the sore red skin around her worn eyes.

I walked over to pick up my slice of toast and tried to give some space to Mc by sitting on the unmade bed a distance away from her. I bit into my breakfast warily, waiting for Mc to speak her regular flurry of questions she usually asked every morning. So it was more than just worrying to see her so silent and wary early in the morning.

Finally, when the silence got too deafening. I cleared my throat, standing up to brush away the toast crumbs.

"Mc, we should get going," I muttered, secretly hoping to elicit a reaction from Mc. But unfortunately, she didn't say anything just simply nodded, finishing the last of her toast. She stood up, weakly brushing the tiny crumbs off of her hoodie front as well.

When she stood up waveringly, I got a full view of Mc's sleep-deprived self. Her skin was pasty under the morning light, her eyes were bruised from rubbing them dry, looking as if she'd be ready to fall asleep within seconds. Her shoulders were slumped in an exhausted manner.

I looked away, trying to ignore the guilt of feeling eating me alive. Distractedly grabbing a black backpack I hauled it onto my shoulders before wordlessly walking towards the room's door, listening to Mc's shuffling close behind.

We both walked towards the center of town after leaving the motel, cycling in the half-deadness of it all. For some unknown reason, people have disappeared from the town. But it's Duskwood. The ssight was more than just unnerving to me but still, neither of us said anything.

Soon I figured out the reason for the lack of people when we passed by a public library noticeboard stuffed full of brightly decorated posters advertising a amusement park party taking place today. I read the bold font denoted on the poster.

"Join us for live entertainment. Fun booths, slides, homemade foods, and drinks are available for free!"

I furrowed my brows slightly. Didn't Mc wrote that she wanted to go to an amusement park on her bucket list. It's not as big or as great as I'd want her to experience but it'll do. I nodded to myself warming to the idea already.

I looked over my shoulder to see a fidgeting Mc sitting on the carrier, pulling the sleeves of her jumper over her hands, completely disregarding the noticeboard we'd stopped in front of. I started to pedal down the desolate roads with the intent to find that amusement park. Maybe the amusement park will make her brighten up a bit more.

It didn't take long before we arrived at an amusement park. The large grassland was flooded with hundreds of people walking around holding clear plastic buckets of baby pink candy floss and wearing large smiles and pretty sundresses. There were dozens of rides set and lit up, intending to attract the attention of several townsfolk with their bright red and blue flashes and loud carnival-type music.

Amongst these few rides, there was an army of stalls weaving in and out of crowds of people, offering and selling homemade tasty snacks and cool drinks to eager children and adults.

"Wow." Mc breathed, climbing off the carrier in a trance state. I followed her actions, climbing off the bike's seat with a small smile on my face. I was glad that I managed to evoke a reaction from her. I dumped the bicycle against a small tree nearby, ditching it completely. We won't need that anymore. I faced Mc, licking my lips unnoticeably.

"Wanna go on a couple of rides?" I asked with a corner of my mouth tugged upwards in a little knowing smirk.

"Yeah!" Mc whisper shout with her hands clenching into fists excitedly as she was looking around with her big eyes. I smiled, leading the way happily whilst listening in on Mc gasping at everything we walked by.

It seems to be working. I stopped amid bustling townspeople and looked over at a wide-eyed Mc with a smirk still firmly placed on my face.

"What ride do you wanna go on?"

Mc looked at me at the sound of my voice and visibly froze under my gaze. Her smile dropped quickly and soon was replaced with a thin line. My smirk faltered when she looked away.

"Oh. I don't care." Mc muttered hastily, shoving her fisted hands into the front pouch-like pocket of her hoodie. I sighed internally, looking away and studying the array of rides set out before our eyes. I tried to not feel defeated, but soon enough I spotted a striped red stall nearby. One that proffered oversized plushies if you managed to knock a tin can pyramid with three balls. Three balls equal three tries.

"How about that one? Wanna get a plushie?" I questioned, pointing out the stall to Mc. She nodded and we both made our way to the stall, silently despite being immersed in a throng of loud cheers and screams belonging to excited townspeople. Who was eating, playing, running, riding rides, and laughing loudly with their friends. These people were the complete opposites of the rather awkwardly silent us.

"How much is it to pay?" I asked as soon as we reached the stall. The stall owner, dragged a wet lollipop from his lips and grinned at me before answering.

"5 euros."

I handed the demanded amount of money and motioned for Mc to have a go, stepping to the side and watching Mc timidly grappling for the ball set on the stall's counter and picking it up. Her brows furrow in concentration, she lift the ball high in the air, the tip of her tongue poked out from her mouth when she flung the ball as hard as she could toward the stacked tower.

The force Mc had used to fling the ball was way too strong. She ended up flinging the ball right over the tower, making it hit with a loud thwack against the thin wall of the stall. The man chuckled throatily.

"No worries beautiful, you still got two tries!" He beamed, pulling out a saliva-coated lollipop from his mouth. Mc rolled her eyes, readying herself for another throw.

"Mc, try to throw it low, and swing your arms forwards with less force." I offered, trying not to laugh at her expression. Reluctantly Mc followed my instructions and threw the ball whilst biting her lower lip. The ball just missed the tower making her groan out loud.

"Last try now. Don't fail!" The man reminded unhelpfully. I disregard the stall owner.

"Come on, Mc. You were close." I murmured, pushing my body off the stall's counter to get a better view. Mc applied my instructions again and aimed for the bottom of the tower. It hit the center bottom which should've to allowed the tower to topple forward. Mc turned to me, squealing with joy and jumping up and down on the spot.

"I won! I really won!" She smiled widely looking at me excited over her win. I immediately reciprocated the big smile when I caught her looking at me, feeling glad she was smiling again.

"Better luck next time, beautiful. It was so close." The man sympathized, smiling wryly, picking up the three balls Mc had flung. Mc looked over at the man, smiling confusedly.

"You didn't get them to fall." The man shrugged with a knowing smile plastered on his face.

"But I did." Mc protested, looking over to see the collapsed tower. Only the tower wasn't collapsed, not one can have fallen. "But-" Frowning, she picked up the ball and flung it at the same spot, successfully hitting it in the same spot. Her jaw dropped open when the tower didn't budge at all. As if it'd been glued down together.

I on the other hand, soon realized what was going on after years of experience. Gritting my teeth together and turning toward the stall owner who was looking at Mc, with his gross lollipop twirling around his fingers.

"Hey." I cleared my throat loudly, placing  a gun discreetly in front of him on the counter. The man leaned against the counter, flickering his gaze downwards at the object. Nearly swallowing his lollipop whole, choking himself on the candy. I tilted my head forward slightly whilst maintaining eye contact with the suddenly fearful stall owner.

"Alright, listen up you litle bitch. Give her the damn bear plushie she won it fairly. I'm not standing for this rigged bullshit." I hissed narrowing my eyes at him. "So if you don't want me firing a bullet into your forehead, make her smile by giving her the motherfucking plushie."

The stall owner gulped hard and nodded, hurriedly moving to grab one of the plastic wrapped plushies hanging overhead. His lollipop was threatening to fall from his glistening lips. Mc, noticing the man's actions, stopped playing and blinked at me and the man, completely lost.

The man with a frozen smile on his face, forcefully handed the plushie to Mc who took it with big eyes, surprised at the gesture.

"Wha-"

"Please take it! You won it fairly!" The man smiled falsely, looking at me uneasily. Mc looked down at the big plushie in her arms before smiling widely. Her sore eyes formed into happy crescents.

"Thanks!" She grinned, tightening her grip around the plushie. Tue stall owner, looking very pasty, nodded jerkingly and looked over at me. Mc did the same, smiling hard at me and waving the plushie to show me her prize. I quickly shoved my gun behind my back and fixed a light smile on my features.

"Yeah thanks, man. Bye." I grinned, walking past the nervous stall owner, motioning for Mc to walk along with me.

We went on a few rides and then there were a bunch of vending machines that I spent a good twenty minutes wasting my money and making an unimpressed Mc sit on a bench, idly slurping the last dregs of his fizzy drink. And now, well...

"What's next?" I asked casually, side-eying Mc. There was a large inflatable slide, acting as a massive centerpiece. But there were already several people lined up at the side, holding a variety of inflatable rings and mats which'll soon be used to slide down with. Mc's eyes widen at the sight and an excited gasp left her parted lips when she watched people slide down the slide all at once.

"Guess it's this then." I mused, watching Mc's reaction. We walked ahead and lined up in the queue, waiting for the people to hand in the inflatables so we could have our turn. I stood out of the line and shook my head when someone handed me the inflatable. Instead, I motioned for the person to hand it to Mc. She frowned at me, taking the inflatable ring, and looking at me questioningly. I rifled around for my cigarette box and lighter.

"There's no way I'm going up there," I muttered. "I'm afraid of heights, and going up there will just worsen it for me." I said bluntly, taking out the items needed to smoke.

"Really?" Mc asked, surprised. It was probably the first proper word Mc's said all day to me, and I can't help but offer up a weak smile as I nodded. Taking a cigarette out of my cigarette box and packing the rest away into my jacket pocket as Mc was staring at me.

"There's no way I'm going up there," I murmured again, placing the cigarette between my lips and lighting the stick up with the lighter. Mc turned away chuckling. Is she laughing? I peered around a little to see Mc laughing quietly behind the hood of her hoodie, using it to conceal herself.

I coughed up the smoke I'd accidentally held in way too long and turned away, sputtering like crazy. I felt Mc reaching out to pat me on the back in an attempt to help me. But it didn't help.

"You shouldn't smoke," Mc mumbled when I recovered myself. Ignoring her I brought the cigarette to my lips once again, breathing in the smoke whilst turning away from Mc. Reddening slightly because, I just embarrassed myself in front of the many people queuing up, and becaude Mc had looked so damn cute, hiding her tiny bout of laughter behind that oversized hood of her jumper.

"Next!" The owner of the ride suddenly called out, causing the queue to shuffle forward. Mc make it in with the next round of people and waved at me. I watched on as I was smoking waiting for Mc to climb onto the slide and seat herself at the ledge at the top. Mc was sitting in the middle, a wide smile on display as she was waving her plushie in the air. I couldn't help but smile back and raise my hand a little to wave back.

"3, 2, 1! Go!" A man called over a loudspeaker, initiating a flurry of people to go down the slide, squealing as they hurtle down to the safety mats arranged below.

I laughed at the way Mc clung to both the inflatable ring with her hands and her legs wrapped around plushie to not drop it as she was sliding down, mouth opening wide as peals of loud laughter escaped. When she finally reached down to the mats placed on the ground, she climbed to her feet hurriedly and ran back to the queue without saying anything to me apart of.

"Again! Again!" She smiled, running back. I shook my head at the sight but let a grinning Mc line up again.

She's happy. I exhaled the smoke from my lips in a small huff. It's better to see her like this than how she was like last night.

After two more go's, Mc and I wandered around the amusement park in comfortable silence, slurping down brightly colored icy slushies that I had bought when I caught Mc eyeing it at one particular stall. I was about to pop the question of leaving the park to carry on when Mc suddenly burst out that she needed to pee.

"There should be portable toilets somewhere," I murmured, looking around. A second later, Mc spotted a row of them. A good few meters away, hidden behind a red glittery stall named

'The kiss booth'

Mc immediately pushed her slushie and plushie into my arms and bounded in the direction of the toilets without a word to me.

Before I could see where Mc had ran off to over the mess of her plushie and slushie shoved onto me, Mc had disappeared to god knows where. She was nowhere in sight. I panicked, looking around frantically for the toilets or Mc but I couldn't find her with the dozens of townspeople surrounding me, trapping me in place.

Fuck. Fuck. I'm so fucked right now.

I groaned loudly, barging in the direction I hoped was the one Mc went in with a half-metre-long plushie and two cups of slushie in my hands.

.

Mc focus.

.

A couple of minutes later, I emerged from the portable toilet seat, wiping my hands down with a lemon-scented wipe.

"Excuse me?" Someone walked right in front of my pathway, abruptly blocking me off. I looked up from my hands and wipe, worried as to why this person decided to stop right in front of me.

"I need to, sorry if this offends you or annoys you, but could you pull down your hoodie? I need to confirm something." The guy asked, bending down a little to try and see my face better but my hoodie persistently blocked half my face off.

Oh- no. He recognized me! He knows I'm the missing girl from the news channel.

Fuck, where's Jake...But maybe I am panicking for no reason. Not everyone watches the news right? I was hesitant for a few seconds but then with shaky hands, I reached up to push my hoodie off my head. I waited for this dude to hasp out 'I knew you were the girl from the channels!' But instead.

"I knew it! I knew you're good-looking!" Whilst excitedly taking my hand in his, he tugged me along somewhere.

I was slightly alarmed, stutteringly following after the guy who led me to wooden steps leading up to a tiny makeshift stage. The guy with a grin pushed me up those steps and patted my back.

"Do me a favor and go sit in that empty chair, please? I need someone to fill that seat while I go pee otherwise my I will pee my pants. Please!" He begged with smile straining.

"Uh-"

"Great! Thank you so so much you're a lifesaver! I'll be right back in two minutes!"

"Hey yo-" Before I could call after the boy and ask him about what the hell he was talking about, an overwhelmingly pretty girl patted me on the shoulder.

"Are you our temporary replacement?" She urged and before I could open my mouth, the girl was already tugging me by the hoodie to the empty desk the guy had pointed out earlier.

"I suppose? What do I have to do?"

"The customers were getting antsy. Please sit here! I'll give you a couple of seconds to ready yourself before we start." With that, the girl left, leaving me confused.

I looked down at the two-seater desk I was seated at. It was covered in red crepe material paper. I picked up the laminated sheet and read it.

"The kissing booth - Color type

White Peck - on cheek/forehead.

Pink peck - on lips.

Red - kiss.

Maroon - French kiss."

I widened my eyes, looking around to see myself on a miniature wooden stage along with four other people who sit in the same condition as me on chairs accompanied by desks. I turned around to see half a motherfucking town lined up to participate in this 'kiss booth' scheme which seemed to have been thrust upon me.

People ranging from freakishly young to creepy old folks who had wide smiles on their faces. From people who were shy and jittery to people who were smirking cockily at their friends, spritzing mint spray in their mouths, are lined up. I spotted a lot of maroon-colored tickets being handed out to townsfolk who pay a surprisingly heavy amount for tongue action. I feel sick.

I am gonna have to kiss some old guys or some irritating fuckboys? Fucking hell, I don't wanna kiss someone random.

You have time to run and they won't even notic-

"The kissing booth is now open! Let's kiss!" A person beamed, speaking through a loudspeaker to attract the people's attention. the people cheered in response.

The first four customers walked on to the stage. A gang of boys with gelled hair and branded tracksuits clung to their weedy frames walked up to the stage. I'm not going smack my lips with some kid's chapped lips. I stood from my chair just when one of the boys, the boy that was assigned to my desk, spat out swear words.

"Hey, you motherfucking cunt, it's my turn! Fuck off jiggly balls, she's mine!" The boy grunted, roughly pushing the man holding a plushie and two slushies in his hands. My mind went blank for a second, I tried to see the man, my savior's face behind the plushie.

"Don't you have preschool lessons to go to today, you little fucker?" The man gritted out threateningly as he wrestled with the young boy. The young boy cussed at the plushie guy but the guy ignored him, walking straight toward my desk. Uncertain about the man's identity, I shrunk back in my seat, my throat tightened as the man harshly dumped the plushie to the side of the table and-

"J-JD?"

"Mc, what the fuck are you doing at a bloody kiss booth? You tell me you're going to the toilet but I see you at a motherfucking kiss booth-"

"First you steal my place and now you're stealing my time! Back the fuck off!" The bratty kid yelled but Jake ignored him.

"-Ready to kiss some fetus."

"What? Do you think I really wanna kiss some random kid?" I retorted, narrowing my eyes at him. The fuck he is on about.

"Kiss and leave loser!" The kid yelled but this time I ignored him.

"Someone made me fill in their spot while they went to the toilet," I explained, with cheeks getting red from anger. "I didn't realize he was making me join the kiss booth until now." I hissed, sitting up in his chair. "I thought he wanted me to look after some fucking brownies not the fucking kiss booth."

"Come on kiss already! My mom is coming this way!"

"Fi-" Jake started but got cut off by that annoying bratty kid.

"You stupid dick! If you ain't gonna do it, let me!"

Jake's eye twitched.

"Fine, fine whatever. That's all fine but I couldn't find you. Let me know before running off okay? I have spent five minutes walking around looking for you." Jake bitterly remarked whilst glaring over his shoulder at the angry kid.

"It was only five minutes." I raised unimpressed eyebrows at him. I know you were worried about me, Jake. I can read you like an open book right now.

"Five minutes in which I could've bought candy floss but- "

"You're so annoying, don't make me come over there you fuckhead!"

"I-"

"I'll beat you up loser!" Jake clenched his jaw hard.

"We should probably just leave. The guy should come back soon enough."

"What guy?" Jake asked, trying to not gather plushie in his arms and fling it at the whining shit behind him.

"The guy who asked me to fill this place-"

"If you don't motherfucking kiss already I will drag you down!"

Jake was looking like he was ready to pull his gun out on the kid but he stopped himself. His hand clenched into fists when the kid continued.

"Tell them to hurry up I wanna get my kiss too!"

"Oh, for fucks sake. Come here." Jake gritted out and with a rough tug at my collar, Jake brought his face closer to a stunned me before pressing our lips together.

I stayed stock still, too shocked to move away. I was sitting there on the seat with my body rigid.

What.

I am being kissed by Jake.

Oh my fucking god!

Push him away, Mc! What the fuc-

But my body seemed to ignore my brain's wishes. I closed my eyes and carefully parted my lips, relaxing into his kiss.

This is so so wrong. But I liked it too much to stop it.

.

Jake focus.

.

I'm not supposed to be doing this. Oh my god, what am I doing? Ths is so messed up.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Despite my thoughts, I delved deeper into the kiss which started as a firm press and changed into a softer, deeper kiss. A change was done by me. What the fuck I am doing? But fuck godamn, Mc's lips are the softest I've ever experienced, and no matter what my brain tells me. I can't pull away.

"Fucking finally. It wasn't that hard you loser!" The shit kid yelled again, catching our attention and causing me abruptly pull away from Mc. The shit boy's irritating voice acted as a bucket of ice-cold water, shocking me awake from my and Mc's little moment.

We broke away but our heads were tilted with our foreheads resting against each other. We were breathing heavily, it was only a ten-second kiss. A ten-second kiss rendered me and her breathless somehow, our chests were heaving, and lips parting slowly.

I stared into her eyes with an unreadable expression. She was staring into my blue eyes with an unreadable expression as well.

"Oh my god." She gasped suddenly, pushing herself back in her chair and slapping both palms over her mouth. I am myself was shocked at my own actions. I wanted to slap my hands over my mouth as well and run away as far away from Mc because just looking at her lips makes me wanna- I saved myself by playing it off casually, putting on a cool calm facade in front of freaking out Mc.

"Well, that's two things crossed off the bucket list. Even if I wasn't the person you wanted to kiss." I muttered nonchalantly, wiping my lips with the back of my shaky hand. I stood up and quietly cleared my throat before reaching out to grab the plushie. I looked over my shoulder, raising an eyebrow at Mc who refused to move a muscle.

"Well, are you gonna move, or do you wanna have another round with that whiny shit? I saw he requested french kissing." I addee, smiling humourlessly.

Mc held her breath, slowly rising from her chair. She gulped several times. Timidly following after me.

~

Now, Mc was curled up against the train window, her knees were drawn to her chest in a protective stance and her red face was buried low in her hoodie, hiding away from the public.

I was sitting two seats down from her, my body was hunched forward and stiff. I hadn't moved from this position in at least ten minutes. I turned my face away face. The tips of my ears were a prominent shade of red.

On the half-full train, people chattered about random things. Mc and I hadn't exchanged glances or words with each other. We both were blushing and shocked or freaking out too much to look at each other.

Jake, what the fuck did you just do?

Why? Why you kissed her? To get that kid to shut up? No, that's not it and you know it. So then why did you kiss her?

I didn't think straight. That kid was yelling at me, Mc's face was exposed to the whole town and the previous stress of trying to find Mc made me do it. Yeah. all that and maybe because just wanted to do it. I wanted to do it for a long time.

I changed my posture, straightening up and leaning against my chair with my back cracking in protest. I rested my head against the seat's headrest and stared up at the faded red light fixtured of the train.

Mc's lips were surprisingly soft. They were not tacky with glossy lipstick, and they were not chapped and bleeding. I coughed loudly. What the hell? You're out here daydreaming about her lips for fucks sake when you're meant to be finding ways to get her to a safe place. Away from Richy. But her lips were so damn soft and plump.

I tilted my head to the right to look over at Mc's huddled figure. I watched her lift a shy sweater paw to her lips, prodding her lower lip with her index finger thoughtfully. Mc's cheeks bloomed red soon afterward.

She's cute as fuck. Damn.

I hastily tilted my head back to stare up at the light fixtures, gulping hard. I dropped my gaze from the ceiling and stared at the window.

I think- I fall in love with her harder each time she flashes me a smile.

.

Mc focus.

.

Oh my god.

I subconsciously lift a hand to my lips, touching my ower lip with a finger. Did I just had first kiss with Jake like that? Just like that we kissed infront of the people?

I hurriedly dropped my hand from my lips when he caught the sight of my reflection in the train's window and realized how weird I look. But wow. I remember his lips firmly pressed against  mine and it felt so good...So damm percent. I felt my cheeks glow hard.

My breath got caught in my throat when I remembered the texts I'd texted him. The thing about our kiss and how the world would disappear around us. And goddamn it disappeared. It was just me and him.

I knew that I won't experience this type of feeling again when Jake decide to tell me the truth. Maybe he doesn't love me anymore but I don't care. I wanna hold on to this feeling for as long as possible. The feeling of having him around, the feeling of his touch, the feeling of his caring side. The feeling of-

"Excuse me, but could you move your plushie? It's yours right?" A girl questioned, pointing a manicured finger in plushies direction. I nodded, mumbling a quiet sorry before pulling the plushie onto my lap, a little fazed.

Once the girl sat down, my mind wandered off again. Wandered right back to the kiss booth where I was sitting in front of Jake, letting the kiss take the breath away from my lungs. Immediately the image sank in and I found myself pushing my face against my plushie, muffling a squeal in the object. The girl glanced at me concerned, but I didn't care.

It was really nice. I smiled widely looking at the distance. Kissing Jake was really nice. Blushing, I wrapped my arms around the plushie's stomach, hugging the toy hard as I was looking out of the window at the fleeting scenery outside. Just when I thought I couldn't fall harder for Jake, I fell harder.

.

Jake focus.

.

Five minutes later, my phone vibrated against my thigh, startling me out of my dizzying array of thoughts. Sighing I lifted my phone up and without bothering to look at the notification displayed on the screen, I swiped my thumb across the glass, unlocking it before waiting for the messages to load.

My face broke out into an immediate grin as I read the message. It was automated messages sent in coarse slang and accompanied by an excessive amount of emojis because they were used to throw off the police.

U: 18+ !6!6!9

U: mEgA rAcE tAkiNg plAcE. BroOm bitches$$$

U: ITs goNnA bE BiG moTheRfUckeRs.

U: nO.1 rA$er "S" iS attending.

U: sO cOmE hErE bABY tO yOur favOriTe ra$er.

U: Do not reply to this message.

I beamed at the messages, smiling particularly hard at a specific name embedded in the text. "S"

Can't wait to meet you again.

.

Richy focus.

.

Ikari squealed excitedly, clapping her hands as she studied herself in the full-length mirror.

"I think this is the one, it suits my body type perfectly, right?" She smirked, looking over her shoulder at me sitting on the black couch. She quirked an eyebrow at me, waiting for the answer. But I didn't care about the way she looked. I was just too relaxed sitting there on the couch, smoking the last of my cigarette whilst staring dully into the distance. Where is she?

She pouted at me, making her way toward me and hopping on my lap with her hands wrapped around my neck.

"I didn't move on from Jake just for you to stare blankly in the distance when I'm talking to you." Ikari muttered, bending down to become level with my face. I looked up at her with my eyes lidded with boredom.

"I was thinking about something. I'm much better than Jake." I retorted, unimpressed. "Put some damn clothes on, Ikari. Not in the mood to play right now."

"Oh? You should think only about me." She giggled, pulling away and standing tall over me. I rolled my eyes at her and sighed. "And." She added, smiling pulling her dress off, letting it reveal her new lingerie. Transparent black playboy lingerie that was proudly on her body.

"You love me in lingerie, especially black lingerie, Richy or should we play roleplay where I call you the man without a face hm?" She tilted her head coyly, red hair falling to the side with some strands effortlessly brushing across her face. Her red lips formed into a smirk when she noticed my reaction.

I reached out and grabbed her waist, tugging her hard making Ikari stumble forward onto my lap again. Her little smirk got bigger but dear she doesn't know I'm only using her for now. Once I will find Mc everything will be over.

"Call me the man without a face. It turns me on." I warned running my hands up her smooth thighs. Ikari just simply laughed, a light tinkled in her eyes. "I will show you how good I can be. Better than the nerdy loser who was all over you."

"Whatever you say, Richy-" Ikari was abruptly cut off by the sound of my mobile vibrating against the leather of the couch. Before I could reach over for my mobile phone, Ikari snatched it up quickly, reading the notification with a curious look in her eyes. I stifled my annoyance at the action and instead focused on her thighs, rubbing and squeezing them slowly.

"Oh, There's another race taking place." Ikari read the texts as I was tugging at her lingerie lazily. "Are you going to go?" She asked, looking up at me with her pretty hazel eyes.

"Yeah, I guess," I murmured, finally having enough of my cigarette I stubbed the thin stick against the couch's leather armchair. Mc was supposed to stay with her friends but I guess Jake got involved in it. I will fuck him up. Just because he's not so nerdy anymore it doesn't mean he can win the fight.

"Now shut the fuck up and deal with what you started," I answered with the corner of my mouth pulled upwards, yanking my phone out of her grip and pushing the device aside. Ikari obliged, grinning as she rocked her hips against me.

"If you're going, I'm coming along. I'm sure Jake is gonna be there to cheer for that annoying racer. What was his name? Sam? Whatever, I wanna see how he's getting along without me." She muttered, smirking slowly. "I bet he's in shit condition, he couldn't live without me for more than a second so I wonder how he is now. Probably alone, crying about me." She commented dryly whilst running her hands over my torso.

"Yeah, can we not talk about him when I'm trying to fuck you?" I murmured, snaking my palms under her lingerie with great intent to touch her warm skin.

"Of course, my bad baby." She chuckled, slipping her dress off of her shoulders, letting the thin dress easily fall to the floor.

[anncanta]

Dark compass and salvation: Agatha Van Helsing and Will Graham

We have already talked about the parallels between Will and Jonathan. And today I want to talk about those between Will and Agatha.

The whole second and third season of Hannibal is built around Will deciding, ‘Okay, since you're so obsessed with me and you're so hard to catch, I'm going to go to hell and become like you. But I'm going to catch you.’ This has both a direct absolutely detective meaning and a symbolic one – expressed by Will's words ‘I'm a good fisherman’ addressed to Jack Crawford. The Fisher King, I would say. One of the guardians of the Grail, let me remind you just in case. I remind you of this so that there is no doubt about who is on the side of good here and whether there is anyone in this series who is on this side. Of course, it is. And this is Will.

But let's return to the direct meaning. Will wants to catch Hannibal and understands that this cannot be done in the usual way, even with the help of the best FBI agents. Therefore, he decides not just to enter the beast's cage, not just to penetrate its lair – he decides to become a beast himself. This is where all these disgusting staged – and real – actions and scenes that the second season is filled with come from. In the third season, as one might expect, Will goes so far that he himself begins to doubt who he is and whose side he is on. And it is interesting now to compare the relationship between Will and Hannibal with the relationship between Dracula and Agatha.

Agatha, at first glance, is much ‘worse’ than Will. Firstly, unlike him, she does not work as a detective, does not help the police, and is generally interested not so much in solving crimes or the acts of dark forces, but in dark forces as they are. Let's remember Agatha's laboratory in the first episode: it looks almost the same as Dracula's, the only difference being that there are no people locked in boxes there. When Dracula appears at the convent, Agatha admits to him that she set the trap not in order to catch and neutralize him, but in order to study and find out his limits. Very quickly, Dracula gives her this opportunity, albeit on his own terms.

And here we suddenly see that where Will ‘comes down’ and acts out Hannibal's drama with him, skillfully mixing reality and fiction (an ideal example is self-defense murder when Will butchers the body of a young man who wants to become a beast and invites Hannibal to watch the creation of his own hands) and gradually becoming more and more involved in the game, Agatha consistently remains in her place. She chooses the whites, plays on the side of the whites, and even when losing, she does not want to lay down her arms (‘The last thing your eyes will ever see is the contempt in mine!’). But the difference is subtle, and it is not just that Agatha is more morally strong or has greater strength of character. The fact is that she has a different partner.

I said earlier that in order to catch Hannibal, Will had to ‘go down’. In the series, this is shown a little clumsily, but clear and simple: the essence of Hannibal is personified by a dark figure with deer antlers, which Will constantly sees, either in reality or in a dream. We might think it's Will's own Shadow, but I don't think so. I think that Hannibal would want Will to see it like that, and would do everything for it. We should not forget that a psychopath (and, as it is correctly said in the series, a psychopath is almost always a narcissist) projects his or her condition and inner world onto the victim. Therefore, Will's tossing is the banal suffering of the narcissist's victim, who after some time begins to confuse reality and fiction and doubt everything. By the way, I think that Will was well aware that this would happen. He is both the fisherman and the bait in this story, and as the latter, he fully expected to be eaten.

The main thing here is that Will is actually playing with himself. That human thing that remains in Hannibal and that draws him to Will, to Abigail, even to Jack is human enough to be deceived and go after another person, but not enough to remain human and stop killing. This aspect of the character and the character's history is very well shown in Red Dragon with Anthony Hopkins when Hannibal shouts to Clarice, ‘Say it! Say it – if you love me, stop!’ He knows she won't say that, and he won't stop killing. It's the same here.

With Agatha it's different. In some ways, she is much more cynical than Will, much less sentimental, less inclined to look back on circumstances and feel sorry for others. She doesn't feel sorry for herself either. Remember, on the Demeter, 

‘Where is he? Where is Dracula? Where did he go? Was no one watching?’

‘We were helping you!’

‘Well, in future, get your priorities right! There's a vampire on board this ship!’

The relationship between Agatha and Dracula is more complex and develops in two stages. The first is a meeting in a monastery when an absolutely self-confident adventure hunter sets a trap for a vampire and turns out to be indirectly responsible for the death of all the inhabitants of the convent. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that the desire to save Mina is a desperate attempt to at least fix something, to at least somehow atone for this sin. In this moment, when she and Dracula are alone, Agatha, perhaps for the first time in her life, understands that knowledge and victory have their own price. And she makes a new decision.

Remember the scene at the gate? Over the course of several minutes, Dracula and Agatha learned from experience that a vampire cannot enter anywhere without an invitation. Now let's return to Agatha's laboratory and see what's happening. First, she offers herself to Dracula – but this is like offering a piece of meat to a dog, this is the same thing she did at the gate, and in fact, he tells her so, ‘You'll be part of me. You'll travel to a new world in my veins’. This is not only intimidation, it is also a statement of what will happen – I will eat you, and you will become part of my body. And then she does something incredible – she says, ‘Come, boy.’ She invites him.

And this changes everything. Now he doesn't eat her but goes inside her. And there she has as many rights as he does, if not more.

You understand, right? Will, in order to catch the monster, enters Hannibal's territory (in the third season – literally, coming to the castle where Hannibal was born and raised – which, by the way, is a direct reference to Dracula and vampires). Agatha, in order to cope with the monster, forces him to enter her territory.

There is one nuance here that is clearly visible at the image level.

Hannibal with Will is a monster, while with others he is an elegant psychiatrist working with the FBI, a gourmet, a musician, a brilliant lover, an artist, a connoisseur of the arts. Dracula on the ship is a monster, lavishing exquisite smiles and leaving behind traces of blood, and with Agatha, he is a man talking friendly and cheerfully at the table.

There is a rule: human needs human. It means, among other things, that we reveal ourselves best in our relationships with others. In contact with another person, we become who we really are. No, we can lie for a while, and even successfully, but sooner or later, if you wait and watch carefully enough, a horned monster will come to the surface or a gentleman will crawl out of the skin of a wolf. It's all about what is under the mask.

In both cases, it's a dangerous dance. In both cases, it ends in death. And I would even dare to say that in both cases it ends in redemption. The ending of Hannibal shows that Hannibal realizes that Will has lured him into a trap and that he will most likely kill him. In the finale, Hannibal's fatigue is visible. He himself understands that it is possible to kill a monster only together with the corporeal shell in which the monster is imprisoned – Hannibal gave this monster too much. That's why Hannibal follows Will in the end.

Dracula chooses his ending himself. He could continue to live after Agatha died, preserving both his way of life and, more or less, his view of the world. But for the first time in many years, he saw himself, understood himself, and made a different choice. Wanting to help Agatha leave, he left of his own free will and actually took her with him.

Actually, that's why these are such different stories. That's why, interacting with Hannibal, Will falls ill, and interacting with Dracula, Agatha is healed. Will at the beginning of the story (and this is confirmed by Hugh Dancy, who plays him) is a decent person who sincerely wants to reduce the amount of evil in the world. Agatha at the beginning of the story is a person disillusioned with life and the world, who herself does not understand very well which side she is on. In fact, this is a movement in opposite directions. From good to evil and to self-sacrifice for the sake of victory over evil in the case of Will and from evil to good and to becoming herself in the case of Agatha.

But in both cases, salvation is in love.

[helloanthy]

tbh i was kind of expecting vriska at the end of the colors of utena

idk if this is python sending this anon because what a coincidence it would be ! but either way ill take this opportunity to share our conversation about hs/rgu from 2 days ago

🐒 munke [10:20 PM] on my last helloanyhy i drew anthy as kanaya mayhaps i should terezi her this time [10:20 PM] not character parallels .jus anthy cosplay things

🐍 python [10:20 PM] terezi [pog]

🐒 munke [10:21 PM] terezis ur rose bride

🐍 python [10:21 PM] anthy cosplays all the homestuck trolls

🐒 munke [10:21 PM] (makes u into bug cannibal)

🐍 python [10:21 PM] om nom nom nom [me turning myself into a bug and also you so i can cannibalize you] [10:22 PM] terezi's name is razor gillette and shes an orchid mantis

🐒 munke [10:22 PM] my brain is getting chemicaliszed so i cabt mental exercise but bow do u think anthy n vriska would get alkng oe not

🐍 python [10:22 PM] ummm… i imagine something similar to how anthy and nanami get along

🐒 munke [10:23 PM] did u kno ladbugs hav to drill a hole thru the females exoskeletob to creat an orifice to mate [10:23 PM] wohldnt that be heinous [10:23 PM] rips u a new asshole

🐍 python [10:23 PM] vriska: does not agree with anthy's submission so she comes in with a lot of bluster [10:23 PM] anthy: 🙂

🐒 munke [10:23 PM] omg. vrisknami ?+ [10:24 PM] nariska

🐍 python [10:24 PM] nanami is not A vriska, i think, but she feels very adjacent to me [10:24 PM] i need 2 ponder that one more [10:24 PM] i do know i consider wakaba and jade to be similar though [10:25 PM] i think vriska considers anthy to be very boring. so she might provoke her a lot. like how she was w aradiabot [10:25 PM] but also that was bc vriska considered aradia a friend… so idk with a stranger she might just be rude

🐒 munke [10:26 PM] wait ur wakajade parraleld [10:26 PM] i would like to hear defensr

🐍 python [10:26 PM] theyre both sidelined by the plot very heavily [10:26 PM] w wakaba its like lampshaded but w jade less so [10:26 PM] they both couldve been the protag in another comic

🐒 munke [10:27 PM] ahhhh [10:27 PM] rebound girlies ……..

🐍 python [10:27 PM] theyre both aware of how distant they r from the canon… and hate it [10:27 PM] yeas… [10:28 PM] i think the difference is that jade was sidelined bc she was too powerful for the plot. like she is the most involved in sburb of the beta kids (her life does not truly begin until they enter the game) but shes also the least involved in all the big battles bc shes too strong [10:28 PM] the hand of god taking her off the table… [10:28 PM] i think wakaba is just sidelined bc its not her story LOL [10:29 PM] like she HAS her own plot she can be involved in (shes the princess of that other world or whatever and she literally found her prince) but she doesnt want it ‼‼ she wants to be in this one. [10:30 PM] thats all i have maybe theres another utena character who jade is a closer analog to idk [10:33 PM] i think in terms of like… placement irt the plot? vriska's thing is that the story is always trying to sideline her but she (and also the hand of god very transparently) keeps putting her back in. and also terezi did that once too lol. but nanami and vriska share a similar role of … being subjected to a lot of humiliation (plot wise) but also their backstories are a trauma dump. and also ofc the personalities

and today

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] did u send me an anon on hehlloanthy about vriska

🐍 python [1:13 PM] not at all [1:13 PM] what does it say ⁉️⁉️⁉️‼️⁉️‼️⁉️

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] 🤨

🐍 python [1:13 PM] BELIEB ME

🐒 munke [1:13 PM] ok well im ghonna post our conversation about rgu/hs parallels then [1:13 PM] just to share 💜

🐍 python [1:15 PM] okay addendum to what i said before [1:18 PM] for homestuck, rheres a difference between hussie the self insert joke and hussie the wielder of the hand of god. re: vriska remaining relevant via the hand of god. like hussies self insert is an allegory for the narrative going off the rails and out of their control. but ofc like theyre the one still writing and arting for it, so they arent truly divorced from the narrative decisions jn the real world. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE

🐒 munke [1:22 PM] yes

🐍 python [1:22 PM] i just want to circumvent the haters 😈

🐒 munke [1:22 PM] HSFJDFJSKDHFOKDSJ

[omegasmileyface]

Vital tenets of media depicting space travel

it's big. everything is SO far apart. a lot of beloved space media doesn't give you any sense of vastness and desperate farness. desolation. i still love them, but its very important to me. if youre making a space journey, the distance should be mind-bogglingly farther than you can imagine, and uncomfortably long in waiting times. this can expand to other, less literal parts of your story. scales human minds can't easily comprehend.

things that are almost like home... almost. historically, i think of planets that looked suspiciously like SoCal and aliens that looked suspiciously like humans due to limitations in effects in film and TV, but today we see this more in ideas like parallel universes and convergent evolution. when you travel, you often come across something that reminds you of home, but with something a little off. these coniferous forests look like back in the rockies, except there are trees I've never seen before where the spruce and tamaracks should be. this culture has a "let's eat dinner together" tradition just like mine, but everyone is sitting on the floor. it's almost familiar enough to feel like you know what you're doing.

relating space travel to a historical parallel. i think if you were creative enough you could subvert this, and "reflect the past in the future" is a core idea of sci-fi in general, but like... Firefly works really well because it uses the moral values and story themes of Westerns, yeah? and you don't have to go all in like they did, but think to yourself "what were humans like in times of far travel and expansion? can i draw inspiration from Polynesian sailing culture? or Chinese train lines? would humans react to the back-and-forth shipments of resource ships more like they did to British commerce sailing or to USAmerican trucking?

number 3 above should help define your aesthetic. i am a strong believer that sci-fi aesthetics should have some thought behind them. dont just make things blue-and-white LEDs and sleek plastic Apple™core futurist because you can (or just because it's a nice shorthand for the imperial bourgeois, though that can absolutely be an influencing factor. because i agree). would touchscreens be practical or not on this ship? would things be dirty due to a rushed, uncaring labor culture, or clean due to strong health infrastructure, or somewhere in between because it's just home? is the equipment uniform because it's part of a single government program, or all over the place because everyone does it, or a mash-up of the two because there are strict tech requirements to make it work and it would fuck everything up if you deviated a little but you decorated on top of the necessities?

BE FUCKING WEIRD. space is weird. look if you want to get some kind of social commentary across or be lauded as Perfect you should probably follow everything i said above and also carefully think up a scientific system where everything you mention is consistent and you very carefully don't mention anything that wouldn't be consistent. if that's where you want to go, godspeed. i liked Ender's Game as much as the next youngest child with an abusive brother. BUT don't be afraid to be camp. break rules (my rules, others' standards of the genre, the laws of physics, your own previously-established rules) when it's fun. make things stupid and pretty for no reason. assign numbers to things that could never ever make sense. even the most serious of space travel stories do well with a scene or two where Someone Gets Space Madness or A Wormhole Appears And Everybody Gets Genderbent or We Need To Have An Alien Fashion Show To Afford Repairs or what have you

refuse to make up your mind on whether space is magic and gods are real or not

[tfw-adhd]

For sharing sunday!

My fav show ever (Succession) is ending today, I'm watching the finale at 3am and then promptly descending into madness 🥺 This has been my biggest and longest lasting fiction hyperfixation - it's been going strong since I started it in Feb 2022 - and I can't tell you how much I'm gonna miss both the show and the fandom.

The main characters are a family of horrible rich people but they're all so complex and traumatised and human, them and their dynamics are like nothing I've seen in a show before. The three adult siblings are the main part and what makes me go insane the most, they're such a realistic portrayal of the sibling experience, the good and the bad, and man I cannot believe this is the last we'll ever see of them. They parallel my family in some ways too (we're not as messed up lol but still) and that makes it all the more personal. They managed to be insanely relatable despite coming from a completely different world, not to mention so freaking hilarious. Just... them 💛

Show/book/game withdrawals always suck but I have literally never been this invested in a character like I adore these sibs and I'm not ready to say goodbye. Mostly, I just appreciate that we got this show the way we did - the writing and cast and directing and music and whatever else all came together to make something magical and I'll be forever grateful.

Aight thanks for listening and if y'all have any mental stability to spare for us Succ fam tonight send it our way, we'll need it

Sent 28th May~

Ahh I hope it all ties together how you want it to in the finale! I’ve never seen that show, but I feel like I’ve heard people saying they like it!

Sending y’all my single braincell to help you get through this!!

[kickthepitch]

Chelsea v Liverpool

I want to start off by saying that, for Bruno to come in and change the lineup and give us two potential goals as acting manager is something I deeply respect.

This match had nothing to do with our coach and everything to do with our players.

Forwards: Kai and Joao

Tough day for these two lads, no argument around that. While Joao kept the consistency in skill as he does in other matches, Kai Havertz looked a bit sloppy. Havertz is a phenomenal player, but it was not his day. From missing Enzo's behind-the-back pass to aiming wrong on his cross-shot, Havertz was not awake this game (not to mention the tough blow of his overruled goal). I never have bad things to say about how Havertz plays, but with all the commotion at Chelsea, the team needs him now more than ever. To his parallel, Joao Felix seemed to be doing all the right things and having all the wrong endings. He has been a very opportunistic player during matches: seeing passes before they happen, working well to dribble through defenders, and finding Enzo's golden passes. But today, none of this was getting passed Liverpool's back four. Our forwards, despite their talent, most likely felt the pressure of today's match weighing on them and could not perform.

Mid 5: Chilwell, Kovacic, Enzo, Kante, and James

They are the stars of the match. Kante came back ready to play, and he delivered. Personally, he was the (true) star of the match for me; I loved seeing him back out there in his element; he is a physical player with superb dribbling skills; his touches are consistently accurate, and though his long passes are off occasionally, he makes up for them by defending hard. I have nothing but the best to say about the way he played. The same could go for James, who gave a stunning performance on all ends. Though his goal was overruled, the shot itself was beautiful and what fans love to see from James. You can see he has loads of potential and ambition from anywhere in the stands; though he pushes harder in some games more than others, he is a solid right mid. To his opposite (LM), we have Ben Chilwell, and if you have read some of my other posts, you know I am a fan of Chilwell. He flew slightly under the radar in this match but still kept his versatile techniques. Defending down below but springing up the pitch to aid Havertz and Felix; players like this make a difference in the overall team performance as they can divide themselves equally when needed. Enzo and Kovacic both played similar ideologies of soccer with different executions. Enzo, like always, played the perfect balance of gentle and aggressive, he came in strong in the back, but when it was time to push up, he took his time and looked for the best shot he could find. This is not the same about Kovacic; I felt his playing was a little rushed today, but he had the same intentions as Enzo (find the best shot). His passes looked a bit disorganized and hasty, but he rarely plays this way, so I will gladly slide him under the umbrella of stress with our two forwards (it's been a rough couple of weeks for the team)

Back 3: Cucurella, Koulibaly, and Fofana

Let's talk about Cucurella, I see some different opinions on the kind of player he is, but today he ran. When it was time to come back and defend he sprinted and dropped back as any defender should. Sometimes we can see Cucurella trying to catch up to the Forwards, but today he was always ready for them, which is progress. Koulibaly was honestly a man on a mission, let no one pass through, and he succeeded. He had two vital blocks throughout the match, which saved Chelsea from taking a loss. Though I do not see much appreciation for him, it is wholeheartedly deserved. Fofana, similar to Chilwell, was not the star of tonight's match but still gave his best effort. He played a better tactical game tonight than Cucurella, with his precise passes and a strong dribble here and there.

Keeper: Kepa

One thing to say, beautiful block on the shot made by Gomez. Other than that the team did not let Liverpool make it close to the goal that often so Kepa was in the clear for most of the match.

The team played to the best of their abilities for all the hectic media around Chelsea at the moment, but it was not enough to get a push on Liverpool. As stated in the beginning, Bruno did wonderfully as an interim coach today. Walking in with loads of pressure on a job you did not think would fall on you is a lot, and the fact that Liverpool did not score and we did technically make it in the goal twice proves that he has a good understanding of how the team works (we just need secure finishes when we shoot)

Liverpool played a very respectable game, they came in strong and finished strong. Though I do think Chelsea put up a good fight, Liverpool did not back down at all throughout the match. Our teams looked somewhat similar as the Forwards struggled while the back and midfielders flourished which just explains why no one was able to score tonight.

Hopefully Chelsea can figure out the next steps to winning soon, just in time for Saturday's match again the Wolves and next weeks match again Real Madrid (Champions league quarter final)

What are your thoughts on the match?

Let's go Blues!!

Pic via Chelsea’s Instagram