#Percy has another little sister and Keyleth gets that brother she always wanted

[crithaus]

man I am thinking about it but Zephrah is but one of the Ashari homelands, thus Keyleth is the heiress apparent of the air ashari people, the princess, and she was chosen which is cool according to the wiki even if Vilya was her mother she still had to be chosen to go on the aramente, which I wonder if she failed would her nobility pass on to the next person? Does her princesshood come from her mother or her position as tempest-incumbent? I would imagine the second one And I wonder how this stacks up legitimacy wise to the rest of Tal'dorei and Exandria proper cuz Syldor only seems super impressed by Percy even tho Syldor sucks and is a shit metric so nvm but inside her domain, her small but significant section of people, she is a la Germany during the 1700-1800s, a princess amongst the 3 other leaders of the Ashari, now it seems the Ashari governmental system is at least a little less centralized than say Tal'dorei but it still technically has Kiki as their princess now I'm making a point with this so bear with me,

And Percy, in much the same position, is, or was the second he stepped back into Whitestone, and especially showcased in TLOVM, the Big Man on Campus, the top authority, in fact he says in EP 64 to Syldor that he is of the Royal House of Whitestone, before his lil responsibility shirking ass defected to Cassandra he was the boss here, and if Whitestone is a Royal House and yet outside of Uriel's jurisdiction and his line of succession too, and Whitestone has had a Duke and a Count within it's borders as well and Percy being able to title people higher than he is, or being lower ranked than the people of those houses when they are not the main and royal House of Whitestone, is just silly and commensensically incorrect so he's higher here than duke, count, and baron, that's like principality status, one rung below Uriel's deal, a little Monaco in the Europe that is Tal'dorei. so he's a Prince, was probably the Grand Prince in the wee moments before he gave it to Cass, he's a Prince which is so cool, prince of a similarly insular people to Shepard, just like Keyleth

Keyleth is a little more involved in, to borrow from kerrick's letter, the 'gardening' of Zephrah post campaign but still she and Percy are on a very level field here which thrills the Me because it's two stressed out, very lonely and burdened babies, too young for this shit, with surprisingly good leadership skills and without either of the parents that knew how to do all this ruling stuff trying their very best to get through it all intact, Percy might took a hard left into evil demon territory for a second, but no wonder honestly that those two latched onto each other so hard, they had one other person who knew intimately the pressure the other was under, and I mean it goes even deeper truly,

They would have only began preparing Keyleth for her aramente when it became clear Vilya failed hers, years after she left, and Percy might not have been Julius or Vesper but after the massacre in the back of his mind he had to have known that when he went back he'd be in Charge for however long it took him to kill himself revenging his family, so by the time the two of them met they really were side by side with the wide gulf of Responsibility they Weren't Ready For in front of them, which makes it cuter to me that this was how Percy attempted to bond with Kiki at first prestream but like

Man, my little Royal Duo, kicking ass and taking names, Percy mighta broken the mold a little with this council but y'know I think if it were really a big deal despite Keyleth taking BH to him directly they would have had to talk to Cass and the rest of the Council first upon meeting them all so 😌 council served it's narrative purpose now my lord and lady can rule as they please, or at least Vex can which I will take to the Bank, I mean Lady De Rolo Coinmistress of Tal'dorei and her trophy husband? Absolutely (also this makes vex a princess by marriage and also it'll make Vax a PRINCE by marriage when they get him back (cuz they're gonna I choose to believe, it's what Vex deserves damnit, I refuse to be pulled from this fantasy) and he'll hate that it'll be so cute and funny)

But man this friendship, forged under the stoop of backs bowed by such responsibility set on them both far far far too young but bearing it flawlessly anyway, really is so... Percy's going to freak the fuck out when he finds out what Otohan did to her, it's gonna be so good

Their friendship man, it is so important to me. They see each other, they understand, through thick and thin and they are both broken and and a little fucked up but they still stick by each other, Keyleth rails at Percy whenever his bloodlust during the Briarwood arc gets outta control, and Percy's always there to shore Keyleth up when her charisma falls a little flat, it's a friendship built on being seen so deeply and understood in a way that only they can, even if it still isn't quite enough to mend their worse habits, even if it isn't enough to convince Percy to forgive himself then and it isn't enough for Keyleth to acknowledge that the past did happen and was horrible but the bright future is still being written. And they mirror each other sometimes, look at Percy during the Briarwood Arc vs Keyleth and Raishan, look at Keyleth seeing how poorly revenge treats Percy and yet committing to it anyway, they are so similar in so many ways. But it is enough, to be seen by each other.

also please look at this sketchingsparrow knows what I'm putting down

[vaxxy-the-raven]

I'm never gonna properly write for it, but I keep imagining this AU where Percy is an ex-gang member of Vecna's gang.

Maybe Percy killed someone important to Vecna or he stole money, idk, but he's on the run and shit comes back to bite him in the ass.

(This has been inspired by the song "You Can Run" by Adam Jones, btw, as I've had it on repeat for 2 days now)

So uh, here, I guess. Feel free to take this and make into something more solid -

Percy comes from a wealthy family that went into debt. To try and help his parents, Percy looks for work and finds himself being recruited into a gang ran by an intimidating man known only as Vecna.

Vecna's right hand woman, Delilah Briarwood, and her husband, Sylas Briarwood, take a quick likening to Percy and introduce him to their adoptive daughter, Anna.

Anna and Percy make fast friends, until one day Percy catches Anna betraying the gang's plans to another gang.

Percy confronts her alone, thinking he can handle it, but a fight breaks out and Anna gets shot in the abdomen.

Percy panics, trying to stop the bleeding, but Delilah walks in and all hell breaks out.

Percy has to run and he does, running faster than he ever has before in all his life.

He moves to a different city, laying low and doing odd jobs to keep himself afloat.

One day he runs into Keyleth, a young florist struggling to make ends meet, being harassed by some idiot. He defends her, quite publicly too, and is spotted by one of Vecna's many members.

And thus, Percy accidentally gets Keyleth targeted by Vecna's gang.

Cue Vax'ildan, Keyleth's boyfriend and also a former gang member (who also left on bad terms with his old boss) turned tattoo artist, chasing Percy down thinking he's put a hit out on Keyleth.

When he realises Percy's situation, tho, he feels like helping the poor bastard out. He knows what this is like.

Through this, Percy meets Vax's sister and an esteemed defence attorney, Vex'ahlia.

Soon, the men after Keyleth disappear mysteriously and things calm down for Percy.

Percy falls hard for Vex, fast, while she and Vax help him change his identity and disappear from Vecna's gaze.

Percy becomes a mechanic, becomes friends with the twins and Keyleth as well as his fellow mechanics, Grog, Tary and Pike, even with Pike's husband Scanlan.

Life gets really good;

Percy & Vex start dating, Vax & Keyleth get engaged and Taryon gets a boyfriend.

But then Percy slips up somehow, takes the wrong driver's license while out one day running errands and one of Vecna's spies see it, call it in.

Percy is followed home.

Then, during the night, Percy and Vex wake up to several armed intruders who don't seem to like Percy very much.

"Percy... Friends of yours?"

"Friends isn't the word I'd use."

Then Vecna swaggers in, grinning, baseball bat in hand.

Percy feels his world crashing down around him as he and Vex are manhandled out of bed to be tied up by Vecna's men.

"Percival, long time no see, it's been a while."

"I was hoping it'd stay that way, personally."

"Ahah, oh, dear Percival, quite the funnyman as always."

Then the baseball bat just narrowly misses Percy's face, crashing into the bed behind him instead, Vex screams.

"Don't mistake this as a social call, my friend, this is but business. No, you know exactly what I'm here for."

Vecna steps near Vex.

"Leave Vex out of this! It's me you want, not her!"

"Ah, but such a pretty thing, just like her brother... Would be a shame if anything happened to either of them, no? The boy just got engaged, didn't he?"

"Leave my brother out of this, you bastard!"

Vex's demand met only by laughter, her anger outweighing her fear.

Percy, shaking, terrified for his girlfriend and her twin, for all of their friends-

"What do you want?! I'll do whatever it is, just leave my family out of it!"

"Ah, ever the smart man, Perce! You took something of mine, however, so I must take something of yours... Insurance, to make sure you cooperate, you could say..."

"We don't have much in the way of money or valuables-"

"Ah, but I'm not after things of material value, Percy. No. I want you to have some... Motivation! You know... To do as I say, when I say?"

"Please, leave Vex out of this, I'm begging you!"

Percy, scared for his love, scared of what Vax would do if she got hurt because of him-

"Ah, but she's not it either, as I already have my insurance, Percival - Though, a matching set would fetch a far prettier price should you fail to live up to expectations, my boy."

"No! Leave Vax alone!"

"He killed my men, it's only fair I take him as punishment."

Percy hadn't know what Vax had done back then to save his sorry ass, but he feels sick knowing Vax did what he did because of him.

And hearing the devastation in Vex's voice is the final nail in Percy's coffin here, knowing Vax's life is in danger now.

"Alright! Alright! Whatever it is, I'll do it! Just please, don't hurt Vax! Or anyone else!"

Vecna laughs.

"A little late for that, your good friend put up quite the fight and my men may of had a little fun beating him down."

"You bastard! I'll kill you!"

"Oh, Vex'ahlia darling, I'd like to see you try, my girl."

"You fucking asshole!"

Percy, staring in horror at Vex as she hollers and shouts at Vecna, threatening the man.

Vex, furious and shaking, thrashing around to escape.

Vecna just keeps laughing.

"Maybe I'll keep the boy as my personal punching bag, or I could sell him to the highest bidder? What do you think?"

"I think you're making the biggest mistake of your life!"

"Or perhaps I can hand him to the Briarwoods, what do you think, Percy? Maybe that would take their minds off of you murdering their sweet Anna. Sylas has been wanting a pet to play with and Delilah could use another lab rat"

And Percy goes pale.

"She didn't make it?"

"What else is it did you think I meant by you taking something from me? The girl was smart and promising, Perce, the loss is felt."

"I didn't want to kill her, I swear! But she was up to something! I needed to know what it was!"

"Are you suggesting that a long standing and much trusted family member was planning on betraying her family and her gang? Oh, Percival..."

And Vecna shakes his head, tutting and sighing.

"I thought you were smarter than that."

"I'm telling the truth!"

Percy can't look at Vex right now, can't think of what she must be feeling right now.

Everything he's worked for, ruined in minutes.

"Well, in any case, you still owe me a favour... Unless you'd rather we just get this over with and I have Sylas execute the brother instead?"

"No!!"

And Percy balks.

"No! No! Leave him alone! I'll do whatever it is you want!"

"Good, because I really do like that boy, he has fire in him."

"Just... What is it? What must I do to make this go away?"

"I have a friend, a fellow by the name of Orthax, and he's been crossed by some folks... He needs them taken care of."

"You want me to become an assassin for you?"

Percy feels sick.

Vex is gaping in horror.

"It's just 8 people, Percy, and then this is all over."

"You can promise that?"

"I can guarantee it, my friend, and I never break promises."

"Who are they?"

"In due time, in due time... Now, we're going to untie you before we go, please don't do anything... Rash. I'd hate to have to kill you or your beloved, or her brother at that."

Percy and Vex tense, but stay quiet and let themselves be untied, staying still.

"Good, excellent. I'll leave the list on your dresser along with your new gun... Orthax made it just for you, be appreciative."

"Do I have a time limit?"

"Let's say... You have two weeks, then I'll give away the brother to either my best people or to the highest bidder - Depends on how I'm feeling on the day, you understand?"

"It'll be done before then, I can assure you that."

"So they all say, Percival."

And with that, Vecna and his men start to leave, but then Vecna pauses at the doorway.

"Oh, and, Percy? Don't trying running away again - I mean, I don't mind it, run all you like... But just remember, you can't hide. I'll always find you."

"Trust me, I'm aware."

"Good... Have a good night."

And with that, the couple are left kneeling on their bedroom floor, crying and shaking.

Percy stands first, heading for the list and weapon.

Vex stands next, sitting on their bed, fuming silently.

Then Percy gags and drops the list before running out.

"Perce?"

She gets up, swallowing.

Who did Percy have to murder just so Vax wouldn't be killed or whatever? How bad was it?

Who was to be killed in change for Vax's very life?

She bends down and picks the sheet of paper up, turning it over and reading the names;

Frederickstein de Rolo

Johanna de Klossowski

Julius de Rolo

Vesper de Rolo

Oliver de Rolo

Whitney de Rolo

Ludwig de Rolo

Cassandra de Rolo

[vexing-imogen]

the persistence of 2/?

read from the beginning | on ao3

Percy holds his breath, waiting for Vex to react to Pike’s statement. He likes to think he knows his wife well enough to guess at her potential reaction. He’s expecting confusion, shock, fear. A demand for answers. Possibly denial.

He’s not expecting her to laugh.

Vex holds Pike’s gaze for a good thirty seconds before she snorts and dissolves into helpless laughter. “Alright, that’s a pretty good one,” she says, pausing to wipe away tears. “You really had me going for a minute there.” She takes a breath to compose herself. “Did Vax put you up to this?”

“This isn’t a prank, Vex,” Pike says softly.

“Oh, come on,” Vex says, her tone shifting from humor to exasperation. “You don’t honestly expect me to believe that, do you?”

Scanlan shifts uncomfortably. “Do you really think we’d lie to you about something like this?”

Her response is immediate. “Yes.”

“Okay, fair,” he relents. “This does sound like something I might have pulled back in the day. But do you really believe that Pike would go along with it? Or Keyleth, or Percy?”

“Hey, what about me?” Grog protests.

“You would,” they all chorus.

Vex goes quiet, her eyes flicking from person to person. Percy can see the change in her expression, in her posture as she takes them all in. He sees the moment where she shifts from annoyed confidence to genuine fear.

“Prove it,” she finally says, her voice catching.

Keyleth frowns. “Excuse me?”

“Prove it,” Vex repeats. “If you’re really not fucking with me, tell me something that you’ve learned about me in the past five years. Something that you couldn’t possibly have learned from my brother.”

“You’ve showed me your titties,” Grog offers before anyone can stop him.

Vex’s eyebrows shoot up in alarm. Percy and Scanlan audibly sigh, while Pike facepalms.

“That’s not...really what she meant, Grog,” Keyleth stutters.

“It’s the truth, though,” he says. “And it ain’t like Vax could-”

“Okay, technically, you’re right,” Keyleth interrupts. “I mean, at this point, I think we’ve all seen them in some capacity.”

“I beg your fucking pardon,” Vex says, and Percy might have laughed if he weren’t completely freaking out.

“Not in, like, a creepy way or anything,” Keyleth defends. “You’re just naked. A lot. Sometimes. They’re really nice?” She turns to Percy. “Help me.”

He closes his eyes and thinks. Remembers a conversation had in bed one night, shortly after she’d earned her title of Grand Mistress. The way she couldn’t face him until after she’d told her tale. The tears she’d tried to pretend weren’t falling.

“Trinket,” he says, and her eyes snap to him, her gaze intense. “You once told me the full story of how you acquired Trinket.”

She swallows hard, her eyes darting around the rest of their friends, all of whom are watching him intently. If they’ve heard any of this story, it’s bits and pieces. He suspects he’s the only person she’s ever told the whole truth, that there are details she chose to hide even from Vax.

“Leaving out the bits that you asked me to never speak of,” he starts, “you were kidnapped by poachers. Trinket and his mother were also prisoners. You couldn’t save her, so you took him to raise as your own.”

His heart breaks just a little more when she turns away from him, a single tear falling down her cheek. She gives a tight nod.

Scanlan clears his throat after a minute. “Well, now that we’re acknowledging that this has happened.” He looks to Vex for confirmation, who nods again, sniffling. “I think the big question here is how did this happen? And how do we fix it?”

“I’d like to know that, myself,” Vex agrees, deceptively calm. “I’m guessing I got knocked out, somehow, since I woke up on the ground, but obviously I don’t remember how that happened.”

“We were getting ready to all go home after spending the weekend in Emon together,” Pike says. “We were saying our goodbyes when we got ambushed. It was a pretty easy fight, we scared most of them off pretty fast, But their mage hit you with a spell that I didn’t recognize. It sent you flying, and you hit a tree and were out cold.”

“Did anyone recognize the spell?” Percy asks. “Keyleth? Scanlan?”

Keyleth shakes her head, and Scanlan shrugs. “It could have been Modify Memory?” the gnome guesses. “I don’t know, I’m the worst person to ask about this stuff.”

“We could just ask the mage,” Keyleth suggests. “Can’t you speak with the dead, Pike?”

“Well, I could,” Pike says, “if Grog hadn’t turned the guy’s head into putty.”

“Sorry.”

“Regardless, Pikey, you were able to fix Grog and Percy when they lost their memories of the Feywild,” Scanlan says. “Couldn’t you just do...whatever you did then?”

Percy nods. “That’s right. Greater Restoration, wasn’t it?”

“Yes,” Pike agrees. “But I kind of used up all of my high level spells for today. Keyleth can do it though, right?”

Keyleth winces. “I...don’t have Greater Restoration prepared today?” She huffs a sigh at their disbelieving looks. “I didn’t think I’d need it, okay!”

Pike sighs. “I guess we just all go to Whitestone, and try it in the morning.” She turns to Vex. “Is that okay?”

Vex gives her a weak smile. “I guess it has to be.” She pinches the bridge of her nose. “Um. You still haven’t said.” She sighs. “Where’s Vax?”

There’s an unspoken agreement in the moment that their eyes all meet. Lie. 

“He’s not with us right now,” Keyleth says carefully.

Vex frowns. “Why not?”

“He’s working for his goddess at the moment,” Scanlan says. “He became a follower of the Raven Queen a few years ago, and then her champion.”

“He’s on a vision quest,” Pike adds. “He had this dream, about a week ago, and he just...left. Said it was a solo mission. And we don’t really have any way to contact him.”

Vex presses her fingers to her temples. “My brother. Is the champion of a goddess?” She lets out a shaky breath. “I think I need a minute. Or ten.”

They retreat to the other side of the clearing, and Keyleth’s hand is on Percy’s arm the moment they’re out of earshot.

“Hey, how are you doing right now?”

He sighs. “I am having about three separate panic attacks, but other than that...” He gestures at Vex helplessly. “What do I do, Keyleth? How do I help her?”

She shrugs. “What are you going to tell her about, you know, the two of you?”

“How do I not tell her everything?” he asks. “She’ll see it all once we get to Whitestone. The house, and her title, and gods Vesper.” He scrubs at his face. “I don’t want to overwhelm her, she barely trusts what we’re saying as it is, but I’m not going to let her hurt our daughter because she doesn’t remember that she exists.”

Keyleth tries to smile. “I know this sucks, but we’ll figure this out. We always do, right?”

They all sit in awkward silence for a few minutes, occasionally glancing over at Vex, who hasn’t moved. Eventually the silence is broken by Vex’s voice, tentatively coming through the earrings.

“Um, Percy, if you can hear me, I think you and I need to talk?”

============================================================

She watches Percy freeze in place for a moment before he stands. Pike says something that her lip reading doesn’t catch, and he nods. He doesn’t look at her as he crosses the clearing, his eyes fixated on a spot just above her head. He doesn’t look at her until he’s sitting down in front of her, his expression unreadable.

“Hi,” she says softly. “I wanted to start by saying I’m sorry for slapping you.”

He shakes his head. “Vex’ahlia, you don’t...given the context of the situation, you have nothing to apologize for.”

She shrugs. “I’m still sorry.” She looks down at her hands. “I also have some questions that I think only you can really answer.”

“Ask away.”

Vex sighs. “Are we...married?” she starts. “I only ask because you did kiss me, and everyone looked at me funny when I said that we weren’t, and I’m wearing this ring-”

He takes her left hand in his, rubs his thumb over her knuckles. “Yes,” he confirms. “Yes, you and I are married.”

“How long?”

He thinks for a moment. “Oh gods,” he mutters. “Not quite four years.”

“Oh.” Fuck, that’s longer than she was expecting. “Do we. Um.” She chews on her bottom lip. “Dowehaveanychildren?”

He squeezes the hand he’s holding, nods. She gasps, feels as though all of the breath has been punched out of her.

“A little girl,” he offers after a moment. “Vesper Elaina, after my sister and your mother.”

She doesn’t try to stop the tears from falling. “How old?”

“Three,” he says with a small smile. “Just barely.”

“Fuck.” She wipes away tears with her free hand. “Pike mentioned a place. Whitestone? Is that...”

Percy nods. “That would be home,” he says. “The de Rolo family, my family, has ruled there for generations. Still do, in a fashion.” He smiles again. “You’re technically a Lady.”

“Huh.”  She sighs. “One more question.” He nods. “Has Grog really seen my tits?”

He almost laughs. “You have flashed him on more than one occasion.”

She snorts. “Yeah, that does sound like something I would do.”

She loses track of how long they sit together, her hand in his, neither of them looking at the other. Their bubble is only broken when Keyleth approaches, twisting her hands.

“Hey guys,” she says. “Um, we were just talking about how we should probably get going soon. It’s getting late, which means it’s probably really late in Whitestone, and Cass will probably get worried if you guys aren’t home soon.”

“My sister,” Percy mouths when Vex glances at him. “You’re probably right,” he says to Keyleth. He stands, offering Vex a hand.

The world tilts and her vision blurs as Percy helps her to her feet. She’s back on her knees in an instant, and this time she actually does vomit. “I think,” she manages, breathing deep, “I think I might have a concussion.”

“All the more reason for us to get you home and resting,” Percy says, rubbing her back. One arm goes around her waist, and she realizes his intent as he asks, “May I?”

She nods, keeps her eyes closed as he gathers her in his arms and stands. It helps with the nausea, but the pounding headache has returned, and she thinks she may have to ask Pike for another heal soon.

Vex hears, rather than sees, everyone gather around them. She briefly wonders exactly how they’re going to get where they’re going, but before she can ask, there’s a tearing sound just in front of them. She opens her eyes to see Keyleth opening a portal in one of the larger trees. There’s a city on the other side, and she doesn’t have time to ask before Percy is hurrying through.

It’s cooler on the other side of the portal, the sun is setting. They’ve apparently crossed the continent in mere seconds.

“What the fuck was that?” Vex asks weakly.

“Ohh, right,” Keyleth says, “I forgot you wouldn’t know about that. That’s how we travel for the most part. As long as I know of a tree in any given place, I can get us there.” She pats the trunk of the enormous tree they just stepped out of. “Hi, Sun Tree.”

“She always does that,” Percy murmurs in her ear. She feels his chest move with a sigh as she takes in the city square around her. “Welcome to Whitestone.”

[cadykeus-clay]

Would you mind sharing your thoughts about vex and Beau being cross campaign foils?

so!!!! first things first: apologies for taking weeks to answer this, finals + having adhd sometimes makes my brain turn to mush and forget every ask ive ever recieved. second of all, i’m assuming you sent me this bc of what i said in my vm vs. m9 how they view the world meta. and i’ll be real with you. i have exactly 0 memory of what was going through my head when i wrote that line, so i am simply going to type out a bunch of thoughts that i have on the similarities and differences between beau and vex and i hope that lives up to what you were expecting jsdflksjdksld

I'll detail some specifics in a moment, but overall, I think beau and vex share a very similar kind of trauma of exclusion in their formative years, that's caused them to have a lot of similar traits that manifest in different ways - for vex, she maintains control through her material posessions and beau finds an emotional control in her asshole-ness. I've broken this down into 5 points on which I think comparing the two really emphasizes that claim:

1. daddy issues: both beau and vex have awful no good terrible very bad dads. both syldor and thoreau can suck my ass. they both raised their kids with little love and impossible-to-meet expectations, alientating them and leaving them with lifelong feelings of inferiority and unbelonging. If beau and vex were to meet, i think they would have a very friendly toast to shitty dads, and then have a good drunk vent about it an hour later.

but, at the same time, the actual minutae of their trauma and the ways it manifests are nearly polar opposites. syldor wanted nothing to do with vex, or else wanted her to somehow become a full elf. her issue was that she would never be able to belong, despite her desire to, and as she grew up it lead to her being overly protective and even possessive of the people she found who DID accept her as she was. 

With beau, rather than exclusion, her father created an environment of toxic inclusion. He created a role for beau to belong in, disregarding her distate for actually fulfilling it. And, as such, she ended up making herself into someone who could have no expectations and pushed away anyone who tried to set them up for her. In the end, they both came to love themselves by abandoning the woman their father wanted them to be but for vex it was the laying down of an impossible dream and for beau it was the picking up of a mantle she had feared to wear.

2. brothers: now, on the topic of family, I also think its really interesting how their interactions with their brothers play out. We've got vex and vax, tied at the hip til the very end and then some; and then we've got beau and TJ - decades apart and with beau barely acknolwedging TJ's existence. But, even that distance between beau and TJ didn't stop her caring for him when they actually met. She gave him lucky Jade, and she entertained the idea of kidnapping him to get him away from her stinko dad. 

And I'd espeically like to talk about what she said outside the hag's hut - "I think Luc and TJ could be best friends", in comparison to the way Vex reacted when Vax told her was going to Zephrah with Keyleth for the year break. There's an aspect to the way they interact with their brothers that lets them slip back into those bad habits they formed growing up (NOT that i'm claiming vex and vax were like toxic for each other. but even good relationships can have unhealthy moments). 

With Beau, when she offers to give her happiness so TJ can grow up safe, she's trying to take on the role she's ""supposed"" to fill - the big sister, the protector - because she failed to fill the one her father set out. And with Vex, when she grows jealous of Vax, it's because she's afraid that his leaving with keyleth is a sign that she no longer belongs in his inner circle, and she falls back on that childish, desperate desire to do anything to be accepted unconditionally. 

3. romance: spoilers for 5 or so most recent m9 eps (115-120)  if you haven't watched them ahead!!!! at this point, both vex and beau have an endgame romance - percy and yasha respectively. Obviously as the m9's campaign is still playing out, that could change, but like. yasha wrote her a love letter and they're officially going on a date so i'm counting that as at least endgame-track rather than just random flirting. What's interesting to me is that they both seem to flip between the SAME roles between their (in-game) general perception and their actual pursual of romance. 

Vex gets characterized as a pretty big flirt, right? She's got the winks, the casual "darling". She's flashed grog her boobs on multiple instances with little prompting. Beau, similarly, has easily the most game out of anyone in the m9. She's slept with two guest characters and at least one more npc in the events of the game. Caleb made her a fuck mirror in her room in the mansion. And yet, in both of their actual romantic endeavors, they became the shy, uncertain type. 

Vex only confessed her feelings when Percy was laying dead before her, and not an hour of game play before percy kissed her in the woods, she had a talk with vax about how she was pretty sure he didn't like her that way and she didn't want to pursue it. Beau, similarly, spent a very long time convinced that yasha wasn't looking for love after zuala, especially not in anyone like her, asked everyone in the party if they thought yasha ACTUALLY liked her, just to be safe, and then still terrified to ask her out after recieving a literal love letter. I'd argue this shift comes from that same sense of unbelonging - they're very good at pretending they fit a role but doubt their actual right to take it when the opportunity is presented. This time, the role is the lover rather than the daughter.

4. authority: Both vex and beau grew up shunned by the upper crust of society, and grew to mistrust those kinds of people. And yet, both of their arcs result in them assuming such a position. Vex, thrown out of high society gets her place as a baronness, and Beau, running from leadership of her father's business ends up a top member of the Cobalt Soul. There's not a lot here, but I find it interesting how both of their stories involve them shedding their baggage regarding authority and power and assuming it in a way that they feel comfortable in - invitation by someone she trusts for vex, and a promise of freedom of will and control for beau.

5. their deadliest sins: this is the point at which their similarities culminate and transform to a fundamental difference. despite everything they share - shitty childhoods, the small piece of family that's still good, flirtiness masking shy love, and a mistrust of those in power - vex and beau are such different characters because of their biggest vices. Vex, both in game and out, is "the greedy one". She's stingy with money, she haggles for everything, she mourns the loss of physical objects. Beau is "the mean one". She cares little for people's feelings if they're not in her immediate circle, she focuses on her tough guy image, she laughs at things she knows she shouldn't. 

And, over the course of the campaign, as they find unconditional acceptance, they grow away from these traits (I won't say they grow out of them) because they heal from the things causing these vices to begin with. I've always been vocal about vex's greed being a manifestation of her class insecurity, and beau's asshole-ness stemming from her fear of being forced back into another position of complacency. And I stand by that now - all the similarities in their backstories are what tally up to these different women.

Despite her careful tally of party funds and her reflexive bargaining, vex is not cruel. she is not angry on her own behalf. She saves two boys from the market in the city of brass at great personal cost, she relinquishes an entire dragon's hoard to the devastated city of Westruun, she took the time to save a baby bear from a cage when she could have just cut and run after escaping her own. She's the first one most people go to when they need a shoulder to cry on, and she's devastated when they don't (thinkin about when Scanlan left). She carved "forgiveness" into the bow she stole from a man after killing him by proclaiming how much she loved someone, because she knew anger had no place in her heart.

And Beau, Beau is a bitch and she's harsh, but she doesn't hoard or protect like vex did. she spends her money without much of a second thought. She pitches in to help her friends buy a ton of glowsticks, and she loves to indulge in material desires like drink and good food and the nicer inn room. She's a member of an organization that's about making knowledge public rather than guarding it. And, though this may be controversial, I think her position with bowlgate of "its not our problem what cali wants to do with it", her long-standing mistrust of their alliance with the bright queen and  and more recently with the tomb takers of "i want to go in and talk, rather than assuming they're antagonistic, even if it puts us at a disadvantage" are both examples of this non-possessiveness too - she has no need or desire to get involved in controlling what other people are doing.

so, i guess the general conclusion here is: vex struggles to let go of things, of money, of people. beau struggles to let herself be known in case she gets wrongly interpreted again. they both fight feelings of inadequacy, they both fight the feelings of not belonging, of 'doing it wrong', they fight the perception of them as shitty people because of the shells they hide in despite their absolute hearts of gold.  but at the end of the day, vex's story is one of having to lay down what could never be hers so she can carry what is, and beau's story is one of allowing herself to be known so a place can be made for her.

[enkelimagnus]

A Castle in the Forest

Percy x Vex’ahlia, Chapter 5, 2641 words,

A Modern AU, in which Vex is a park ranger taking over the Alabaster Sierras post, and finds much more than she bargained for

Read on AO3

In this chapter, we move a little away from Vex and meet Vax, Keyleth and... Percy?

--------------------

Vax’ildan awakes to the ringing of the great clock in the corridor that leads to the bedroom. It clangs a little, old and cranky. Vax buries his face into the pillow. A scent of patchouli and spices linger onto the fabric of the pillowcase. He smiles lazily.

He refuses to open his eyes for a while, to let himself feel really awake. He has to leave Westrunn today, drive the last leg of his journey to Whitestone to see Vex. He’s missed her terribly, but right in this moment, in this bed, he really doesn’t want to leave.

He feels himself being gently pulled away from his pillow and back towards the man whose bed he’s currently lounging in, and lets it happen with lazy happiness. The only thing he really does is turn over to face the other, cuddling into his warmth.

“I shall soon contact the rulers of Whitestone to set up a teleportation circle…” Gilmore grumbles sleepily into Vax’s hair. “Having you leave me like this is much too cruel.”

Vax chuckles lightly and looks up at his boyfriend with a smile. Gods, he’s beautiful. He always is but this… sleep-mussed and heavy-lidded and warm version of Shaun Gilmore is one Vax especially cherishes.

“You would go through that costly and lengthy process for a few hours more of me?” Vax hums, kissing Gilmore’s lips lightly.

“In a heartbeat, Vax’ildan.”

Gods, he’s the only person allowed to call Vax by his full name. He’s the only person that doesn’t make it sound contemptuous. It’s beautiful on his lips, with his light Marquesian accent. Vax melts, reaching to slowly caress Gilmore’s chest.

He’s been in Westrunn for a week now. A lot of that week has been spent in this bed, though he did walk around and explore when Gilmore was working. That man will never stop working for anything, and Vax accepted that a long time ago. Watching the enchanter at work is entertaining enough.

Vax pulls up the deep purple sheets as he shifts to rest a little more comfortably by Gilmore.

“I still have a few hours,” he hums. “Whitestone isn’t that far from here…”

Gilmore rolls his eyes a little. “I’d rather you not be driving through the Parchwood Timberlands in the dark, darling,” he points out. “There are many stories about the creatures populating that area. I would hate for you to find your fate.”

Vax huffs a little, but doesn’t say anything back. He loves Vex, wants to see her, but he has no desire to leave Gilmore. He doesn’t see him often enough as it is, both busy and living on very different sides of the continent. It’s a bit of a struggle sometimes, despite video calls and other nifty technological ways of seeing each other.

“Maybe you could just… call your sister and let her know you won’t be there for a couple of more days…” Gilmore points out, starting to pepper kisses over Vax’s face, anywhere but his mouth. “I’m sure she’ll understand…”

The kisses get a little more insisting and Vax can’t help the happy sigh that escapes his lips. Gilmore smirks at his success. That smirk does things to Vax’s heart and body that he can’t actively describe, especially right now as his mind is very focused on the direction and pattern of the kisses, on the light scratching of Gilmore’s facial hair.

They roll over a little and Gilmore’s hand gently comes to tuck a strand of long black hair behind Vax’s ear. Their eyes meet and Vax starts drowning in brown so dark it’s almost black. He can’t refuse this man anything, can he?

“Come on,” Gilmore hums. “Just a couple of days…”

Vax leans up to capture his lips but Gilmore moves away at the last moment.

“You’re playing, Shaun,” Vax points out, raising an eyebrow. He hooks one of his legs over his boyfriend’s hip.

Gilmore raises an eyebrow. “And what are you doing?” He asks with his signature smirk.

“I’ll call her,” Vax sighs after a moment. “If she doesn’t need me, I will stay. If I hear one thing that makes me think she needs me there? I’ll go.”

Gilmore nods. “Of course, beautiful Vax’ildan. I will never keep you from her if she needs you, or if you need her.”

Vax leans up again, and this time, Gilmore lets him kiss him. They make out like this for a moment, a bare hint of heat between them, waiting to be kindled to a burning fire.

“Thank you,” Vax smiles. “But I will do this once we’re out of bed. Right now, I have something much better to do.” He smirks and shoves Gilmore back gently, pivoting his weight to roll them over and straddle him.

The next hour or so melts away in between the two of them.

----------

Keyleth darts through the tangled weeds of the Parchwood Timberlands, avoiding bigger and harsher foes and finding her way back to where she’ll be safe for the rest of the night. Her rations are too short this time, she wasn’t carefully monitoring them, and she doesn’t want to go hungry.

Her backpack is heavy with clockwork machines that she needs to sell soon, and she’ll need muscles to carry it back into Whitestone. Her monthly task is complete, and she’ll soon be able to go back to her own work.

She left more food and resources than usual, and warned him that she wouldn’t be there for a while. She needs two months or so to get to Terrah and complete the first trial of her Aramente. She can’t wait any longer.

It’s been years already, and her people are waiting for her at home. They have no idea of the situation she’s gotten herself into here. They have no idea where she stands. Or where she is.

If she takes too long, they’ll think her dead, and she can’t imagine doing that to her father, not when the loss of her mother hangs over her like a shadow. Following in her footsteps was necessary but worrying for everyone. Including her. She doesn’t want to either die or cause her father more grief.

She rushes through the low bushes until she finds the now much clearer path. From there, her instincts guide her to the entrance of the tunnel and she passes through the smaller hole without issue. Being able to turn into small beasts is a blessing in these kinds of situations.

The tunnel is damp and dark and Keyleth hates it. Even when she’s in her wolf form it’s uncomfortable. And yet she finds herself there every month or so, stuck in this routine that doesn’t seem to promise to end any time soon.

She turns herself back into her regular form, stretches her arms out. Her belly is full now. She can try and sleep.

Drops of water crash into the stone below her feet, resounding in the empty tunnel. She decides to light a fire and does quick work of it. She’s done this what feels like a million different times.

Hopefully no one will notice the smoke coming out of the secret tunnel. That would be just Keyleth’s luck. Maybe that ranger will see the smoke and find the entrance and everything will be lost because Keyleth was cold and wasn’t careful this time.

She huffs, staring into the flame. Things have gotten so much worse now that the new ranger is there. The one before was either oblivious or just let them do things as long as they didn’t leave a blood trail.

This one, Vex’ahlia, seems very different. She sensed the fiend, which the previous one might have also done, but hadn’t asked Keyleth or anyone else about it. And she’s investigating it, and going around asking for help in defeating it.

The situation just got much more dangerous for everyone involved.

She closes her eyes and tries to calm down. Her pulse is quick, her mind working overtime. She needs to calm down. She doesn’t want to bring creatures that would sense her anxiety to her. And she doesn’t want to break. Not while her best friend might be in earshot, and might hear her pain and fear.

She’ll do the screaming and the crying and the possible breaking of furniture once she’s in an inn or in another cave on her way to Terrah. Then she’ll be able to let it all out and punch the walls and heal herself afterwards. Right now, it’s too close. She needs to hold on.

Keyleth decides to turn back into her wolf form to sleep. It’s easier to keep warm that way.

---------------

The gun is warm. It beats against his hand like a heartbeat, maybe to the beat of his quickened heart, his adrenalin and revenge-fueled heart. They’re gone, they’re dead, they all have wounds, perfectly round holes that turned their bodies cold when he shot them.

It gets warmer against his skin. His fingers are splattered with red dots, blood splatters. Everything feels blurry. His vision has long ago tunneled. The only thing he can see right now, really see, is her.

She stands across from him, arms raised, a rapier in her right hand. It’s useless, so useless. A contemptuous, hungry laugh comes out of his mouth, taunting her. A rapier is nothing against a gun. It will never be anything.

Percival…

The voice licks at the back of his skull. He knows what he has to do. His hand rises, the gun aimed at her, the bullet in the chamber, her name on the metal. Cassandra de Rolo.

“Brother…” She says softly. She’s distressed, he can taste it on his lips, it’s sugar sweet and delectable.

She’s all yours for the taking… the last of the ones who have betrayed you…

She has betrayed him. She shoved him away and called herself another name. Why isn’t Cassandra Briarwood the name on the barrel? It should be, if she renounces the De Rolo name.

But this is Cassandra. She was never supposed to die. He was always going to forgive her. She stands there in front of him and he loves her. He forgives her. He always will, over and over. He understands she didn’t have a choice.

Why is his gun pointed at her head, why is his hand so steady?

“I’m sorry,” she cries. Tears fall on her cheeks. He wants to taste her anguish. He wants to devour her soul.

What? No. It’s his baby sister. She’s everything, and he thought he had lost her forever. She’s everything to him.

She made the rebellions fail, she made Whitestone crumble. She’s the one who kept your people subjugated. It’s her fault….

Smoke fills every corner of his being, his body, his soul, his eyes. All he can see is the spot he’s chosen to fire at, right in between her eyebrows. Her hair is still brown, while his turned white months ago. She needs to die.

His little sister who saved him, whose body he still saw in his nightmares, shot through with more arrows than he could count. The one he still thought was dead when he killed the first name on his list, the first guilty one. His little sister that loved books as much as him, but liked sneaking out much more.

Cassandra and her bear plushie that he’s pretty sure he saw in her room when he investigated the castle. Cassandra who is wearing their mother’s armor right now. Cassandra who told him she saw the Briarwoods kill their parents, from the balcony she’d snuck onto in the middle of the night and yet who STILL, after EVERYTHING, wanted to become one of them.

The monster in his heart screens and shoves and claws into him and settles there. Cassandra is still staring at him, waiting.

“Why?” She asks. “Percy, why?”

“Because you betrayed us,” he replies. “Because you betrayed me.”

“I had no choice,” Cassandra shouts this time. Her tears are rivers on her face, there’s blood splattered on there too. He is vaguely aware of a singing burning pain where he was hit by the sharp end of a sword. “They took me in, they forced me to work for them, and then…”

“And then you TURNED,” he roars out with venom and hatred and the pain, the greatest pain in the world. He loves her, and the voice in his head keeps saying he should kill her. Because he loves her. Because he trusted her. Because she was supposed to be gone. Wait…

He freezes a moment.

“Did you know she was alive?” He asks out loud. He can see that Cassandra is confused. His grip falters a second.

Of course I knew, Percival…

The hand holding the gun starts shaking. He doesn’t know why. But it does. Betrayal erupts again in his chest, and it hurts almost as much as Cassandra’s did. It floods through him like a cleansing fire.

Cassandra had no choice. Orthax however…

“Was her name supposed to be on the gun?”

Get your revenge, Percival. She deserves it.

The hand gets steadier again. The tunnel vision comes back and smoke billows from his eyes again. But this time, the knowledge is enough. Percy shoves back.

“Answer me!” He shouts. Cassandra takes a step back.

Yes. I knew of her betrayal, and I knew that you wouldn’t accept it. So I hid it until you were ready… Now KILL HER!

No. No, no, no.  Percy shoves himself back, forces himself to take a step back. The gun is shaking now, greatly, and he knows he doesn’t have enough control. Orthax can still pull the trigger.

“Run!” He shouts at his sister. “Cass, run!”

She looks at him, stares in confusion. “What-”

“For the love of Pelor, PLEASE, RUN, NOW!” He screams, and forces another step back.

Orthax pulls the trigger and the shot goes wide, but Cassandra’s eyes widen.

“Percy… I’m sorry…” She still isn’t running. What will get her to run?

Orthax’s claws sink into Percy’s soul and the pain is greater than anything he has experienced before. His eyes water, but the liquid is not clear. It’s red. He’s crying blood. He’s breaking.

Another shot fires. It hits closer to Cassandra this time. She’s frozen in place.

“Cass… Cass please…” He begs, voice twisted from the agony of resisting Orthax. “Please go. If you don’t, I’ll kill you.”

Cassandra’s hand goes down, her rapier hits the ground and she starts running. Percy doesn’t manage to take a step back. Orthax laughs in his ear, triomphant, and another shot fires.

Cassandra screams in pain. Orthax laughs. Percy screams.

Her body stumbles to the ground and the name disappears from the barrel of the gun. The gun is warm in his hand, his eyes are still crying blood and he feels something breaking, over and over again as she seizes. There’s blood everywhere, a sea of crimson, that’s all he can see.

She stops moving. Percy’s heart stops beating for a moment. He dies with her there, until Orthax brings him back to life. Until he’s forced to watch her body be turned over by his own foot, prisoner of his own skull. She’s gone. Her eyes are open but the light is gone, they’re glassy and hideous.

The hand brings the gun up. In the place of the names he spent years thinking of killing, new ones have appeared. Keyleth. Father Reynal. Keeper Yennen. Simon Whisk.

His eyes open in the darkness of the room he inhabits in the castle. His hands are red with blood, and so is most of his clothing. He doesn’t know where the red is from. He doesn’t care to go look for what he’s done when he wasn’t in control.

Orthax laughs in his mind.

[megabees]

solitude is lonely

They are leaving, off to fight another beast.

Again.

She stays behind, she watches and heals and takes care of the homestead. The hearth can never go out when Pike Trickfoot is around.

But no one has ever asked Pike if this is what she wants. They think that this life of service is all that she has wanted. The truth of the matter, however, is that Pike serves because she loves Sarenrae, and she is indebted to her.

Pike would do anything for Sarenrae. Even, especially, leaving behind all that she is happy for.

It is so hard to know that you are expected to be a moral person, the alignment of a group, the one who is calm and gracious and always has their shit together. Calmness is just a front, just a handhold in the chaos.

Frankly, Pike is scared constantly and she is so very angry. She is angry with Sarenrae for requiring her to serve and to not let her be with her friends, and she is angry with her friends for never reaching out. How fucking hard can it be to ask someone if they’re okay with never being a part of the group? How hard can it be to invite her to come to a place? She has watched someone she loved fall in love with one of her best friends, all because she wasn’t there, she has had to live with knowing that she could not be with Grog during fights. It is only reasonable to be angry. Every time she pops up, they are thankful for her, but do they love her for anything other than her healing? Scanlan is loved for his laughter, Vex for her charm, Grog for his heart, Percy for his wit, Vax for his passion, Keyleth for her joy. What is Pike loved for that does not affect others?

Sarenrae tries. She is a goddess of redemption and forgiveness, after all. She can forgive Pike for her anger and her frustration, and she gives her opportunities to be with her friends many times. Pike is thankful, for the isolation would have killed her. Despite this, though, Pike knows that there is a difference between the love of a cleric and her god and the love of a found family.

It has only gotten worse since the dragons attacked, destroying what was believed to be a safe place, ruining the places where Pike considered home. Wilhand makes it through, and Pike is relieved, but her childhood home is destroyed. Greyskull Keep is decimated by Vorugal, Uriel is dead and everyone goes to Whitestone, Percy’s home, where they have just reclaimed it from vampires.

They . Not Pike. Pike sees Whitestone for the first time in the flesh after everything with the Briarwoods has gone down, and then she is expected to help keep it safe. It is her duty, so she does it. But they leave again, off on another adventure. Without Pike.  

Vex dies, and it is not Pike who brings her back, it is Kashaw. He’s a cleric who doesn’t even serve a god, and he is able to save her friend and she is not because she is not there. How is one supposed to cope with that? Vax trades his life away for his sister’s, and Pike is not even there to stop him, to try to save Vex on her own. Her family, saved by this faux cleric who doesn’t even seem to like them, just comes along with Zhara! If healing and serving is all Pike is good for, why wasn’t she there to help heal and save her family then?

Pike comes back and she threatens to fight a goddess, trying so hard to prove that she is worth the time and energy of Vox Machina. Hoping that maybe someday Sarenrae will agree that she is more needed there than in the temple or in the clinic, letting her fight and be free. They kill a black dragon and then Pike is needed again, called again only when they need her to resurrect Percy. If she had been there, maybe he wouldn’t have gone down. Two fights now, she has not been there to save a friend.

There is no one who gets her like Scanlan does. Support gnomes, both struggling with the feeling of being wanted, with feeling valued and alone. He makes her laugh, but he is struggling more than she has ever seen him struggle. He is so capable, how can he be falling apart in front of her very eyes? Does he worry about being loved?

Pike never reaches out to ask him how she can help, and he leaves in a storm of yelling and anger, and she is helpless to stop him. She is paralyzed. How can he willingly go off on his own to be alone? Doesn’t he know how good he has it? He is never alone, he never has to worry about not being able to save his friends. She is oh so angry, but more than anything, she feels alone. He yells and he leaves and some new fucking blonde guy replaces him easily and everyone leaves to help Keyleth complete her Aramente. Vax dies and Pike resurrects him, again only needed to help save others.

Pike is left alone again. No place that’s truly home, no ability to save her family when they need her most, trapped amongst her duties, never allowed to put down roots.

Someone who is made to support others should not be left alone.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

For Beau, being alone is a blessing and a curse.

She is never alone now, Jester in the room with her at all times, Caleb in the library with her, Fjord working out with her constantly.

When you grow up alone, you get used to others leaving, never creating those emotional connections with people who force you to be sad when they leave.

Why would Beau miss someone like her father when he obviously didn’t care for her at all?

In fact, she’s not very good at caring about others at all. If they don’t show her love and support, why should she care about them? No one tries, and if they do, they don’t do it right. With each moment where someone disappoints her by trying to car, she subconsciously puts another brick up in her emotional walls. It is Sisyphus pushing the rock up the hill, hurting only herself and allowing no one in.

But these people, they take those bricks and they constantly destroy them. Beau has never been cared for before.

Jester is kind, funny, and oh so passionate about all that she does. She makes Beau laugh and want to please her. How can Beau not let her walls down for that?

Caleb is her equal, her sibling. They understand each other because they are each other, brash and brusque and traumatized beyond belief. A kindred spirit, Beau is willing to let him in if he will let her in too.

Nott is like a little sister, Cad an older brother. They care for her, so she cares for them back.

Fjord is her captain above all. Any port in a storm, they always say, and Fjord is the easiest port to dock at. He wants her to improve, wants her to get better, and she has, with his help.

Yasha is quiet, quickly summing up what Beau thinks much of the time. She is quick with a blade and burdened with loss and there are moments where Beau sits with her and the silence between them speaks more than any words could even try.

These people are her home, and she has grown more than she ever knew possible with them. She is an Expositor now, she has spoken to kings and queens and risked her life constantly to keep this family together.

It’s not worth it though.

It’ll all end eventually, with an endpoint that gets closer at every moment. She’s happy now, but does that mean that she’ll never be happy after this? This family is nice now, but what happens in a year, or two, or ten, when everyone has moved on? How do you feel comfortable when there is no guarantee of this happiness and success lasting?

It’s easier this way. It’s easier to give it all up.

Beau is used to being lonely, she can take it.

So she offers it all up. This family, her position, her newfound little brother. A life in exile.

It’s easier to leave than to be left behind.

[nicolewrites]

heartstrings - iii

i did estimate for today! it’s late and i need sleep, so this might need editing later, but it’s done! probably just one more part after this!

part i | part ii

Rating: T Genre: Romance Characters: [Vax’ildan and Keyleth] [Percival de Rolo and Vex’ahlia] Words: 7080

Kiki @keylethashari has tagged you in a tweet: New Q&A up and we’re talking music! creds to @vexmachina @vaxmachina @burtreynoldsesq @thelumineers and others!! // CR1 Vaxleth+Perc’ahlia YouTuber/Musician/Celebrity AU

AO3

The next morning, Vax was already in the kitchen working on emptying out their liquor cupboard when Vex walked in. She zeroed in on the bottle of tequila he was pouring down the drain and frowned heavily.

“I know for a fact that that one belonged to you. You don’t have to drain your money too, you know,” she said. She slid onto one of the barstools and kept a critical eye on him.

Vax shook the last few drops of alcohol out of the bottle and left it sitting with the others by the sink. He looked at Vex sternly. “We’re going to take this seriously and if that means that I’m not drinking either while at home, I’m fine with that. Besides,” he added, letting his tone lighten, “it’s not like we’re a couple of broke street kids anymore.”

Vex cracked a small smile. “Have you started the coffee? I could really use a cup today.”

Vax tipped his head to the already brewing pot. “Way ahead of you, Stubby.”

She smiled. “Thank god.”

An almost awkward silence settled over the kitchen as Vax moved around, finishing the last of his purge while also getting the coffee pot set. Vex leaned forward on the counter and studied him intensely.

He raised an eyebrow at her stern stare. “What?”

“I saw the video on Twitter this morning,” Vex replied nonchalantly. “How long have you been planning to do that video with Keyleth?”

Vax shrugged. “She asked me to a couple of weeks ago. You’re not mad I did it without you, are you?” She shook her head. “Then what is it?” he asked.

Vex smirked and leaned her chin on her palm. “Keyleth’s pretty, that’s all.”

Vax rolled his eyes. “So is Percy. What are you getting at?”

“You seem awfully invested in this vlogger who you didn’t even know existed until several months ago.”

“And you’re the one who’s been seeing a movie star, so you don’t have much room to talk.”

Vex laughed. “Touché, brother. But really, what’s going on between you and Keyleth?”

“We’re friends Vex, god. Sometimes that happens with me, you know? I can have friends besides you,” he replied.

“Oh come on, Vax, I’m always the one with gossip, you have to give me something here,” she said, using her most winning smile.

Vax opened the fridge and pulled out a carton of eggs. He walked to the stove and pulled out a frying pan. With his back turned to her, he felt safe enough to reply. “You said it yourself, she’s pretty, but we’re just friends, really.”

“Fry me one too,” she requested when she saw the eggs. He cracked two into the pan. “You like her though,” she continued.

Vax shrugged. “We’re friends, it’s fun, and I don’t plan on messing with that.”

Vex sighed. “That’s the same reason you and Shaun never gave it a real shot. You can’t back out of all your opportunities for relationships just because you’re afraid, Vax.”

He focused on the steaming eggs in front of him. “Yeah, well, I don’t think Shaun and I would have lasted. We’re better off as friends. We both know that he was always more serious about me, than I was about him.”

The coffee machine clicked off to his left, and Vex slid into the kitchen to pour two generous cups of it. Vax flipped the eggs, careful not to break the yolks, and waited for Vex’s reply.

“Listen, brother, I don’t have the best track record with relationships, but I really feel like you ought to test the waters with Keyleth. Maybe she’s just as interested as you are. Although, if it means you make more videos with her than you do with me, we’re going to have a little problem.”

Vax gave her a skeptical look. “We’re twins, Vex, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

She sighed dramatically. “And here I had hoped.”

-

“A meet and greet?” Vex asked skeptically. Vax looked between his sister and Zahra.

“Sure, it would be a great way to connect with the fans you have in the area and really give yourselves a bump on social media,” Zahra encouraged.

Vax shifted. “That’s more Vex’s strength than mine.”

Zahra turned her gaze to him. “And yet you’re the one who went and collaborated with one of the biggest creators on the platform. The video you did with Keyleth and all the interactions you two have on Twitter have really boosted you beyond where you think, Vax.”

He sighed. “Yeah, well that’s easy. Keyleth is my friend so it’s easy to treat her as one.”

“Even though the whole world could be watching?”

Vex touched his hand reassuringly. “I think, as my darling brother is trying to say, it’s easy to pretend no one’s watching us because we’re so used to being nobodies that actually being someone is a little disconcerting.”

Vax studied her for a long moment. Her hair was neatly pulled into a stylish braid and she looked brighter and lighter than she had in weeks. Getting rid of the alcohol at home had been the easy part and he had seen how she would almost flinch when she ordered water at a restaurant. Still, she looked healthier and her light-heartedness was coming back, which Vax was infinitely grateful for.

“If you think it would really help, then I guess I can agree to that,” he said, directing the statement at Zahra.

Vex sighed. “I suppose it could be kind of fun, couldn’t it?”

Zahra smiled broadly. “Excellent! I’ll start drawing up some ideas and you two can let me know your schedules so I don’t have to double-book you or anything. Is there anything else we need to talk about in the near future?” Zahra’s gaze drifted between the twins, heavy with implications.

Vex laughed shortly. “If that’s your way of inquiring about our relationship statuses, I think it’s pretty obvious in certain cases. Vax has obviously friend-zoned himself with Keyleth.”

He elbowed her. “We are friends, that’s it. Besides, what’s up with you and Percy then? If you’re so keen to throw me under the bus, that is.”

Vex smirked and pulled out her phone. She tapped out something before dropping it back into her purse, raising a challenging eyebrow.

Vax and Zahra’s phones chimed with Twitter notifications and Vax rolled his eyes. He unlocked his phone and did a quick search to find Vex’s profile.

Vex @vexmachina • Just Now

Darling, I think I left my coat at your place the other night @percivalderolo

The tweet was short, sweet, and spoke volumes all on its own. By the way that likes and replies were pouring in, it had been unexpected, but that was just the way Vex liked to live. She was still smirking at him when he looked back up and he rolled his eyes at her antics.

Just then, her phone rang abruptly. She furrowed her brow and pulled it out. Vax caught a glimpse of the screen and saw that it was, funnily enough, the very person that she had just tweeted about. Vex answered the call and brought her phone up to her ear.

“Hello Darling, what can I do for you?”

Vax didn’t hear the replied, but Vex smiled and gave a light chuckle.

“No, Percy, I didn’t actually leave my coat at your apartment, it’s fine.” She paused as he replied again. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow and no you should definitely not reply to my tweet. You’ll take all the fun out of it.”

Vex hung up the phone and looked between Vax and Zahra. “Does that answer your question? And yes, I will do the meet-and-greet.”

-

Vax was lying sprawled on Keyleth’s couch as he explained to her the story behind Vex’s tweet. Keyleth laughed and Vax lolled his head to the side so he could make eye contact with her where she sat on her living room floor, fiddling with several dozen plastic flowers, trying to weave them into a semi-sturdy crown.

“And Percy didn’t care?”

“I mean, didn’t care is a bit strong. I didn’t really get to hear his reaction, but he didn’t seem torn up about it.”

Keyleth giggled and smiled. “That’s good. You know, Percy and I have actually been friends for years, but it took him ages to open up to me so I’m glad he’s doing better with that for Vex. They sound sweet together.”

Vax paused and blinked. “You and Percy are friends?”

Keyleth nodded. “I met him shortly after he moved to L.A. with Cassandra. I was new to the city and we actually ran into one another close to Whitestone’s main headquarters. We got along well-enough and,” she smiled shyly, “fame between a movie star and a YouTuber is getting harder to distinguish. I think he might be the most anti-paparazzi person I’ve ever met.”

Vax nodded and stretched his arms up. “I’ve heard as much from Vex.” He glanced at her again. “There’s actually something I wanted to ask you.”

She jerked her head up, their eyes locking. She blinked and Vax momentarily forgot how to speak as sunlight drifted across her face, illuminating her freckles and making her hair shine like copper. “To ask me?” she parroted.

Vax sat up quickly. Keyleth shifted and cocked her head curiously. “Vex and my birthday is actually coming up. We were going to put something small together with us and a few of our friends outside the business, but I know she was planning to invite Percy, so I wanted to know if you would like to come?”

Keyleth beamed. “It would be an absolute honour.” She paused, getting a gleam in her eyes. “But, you know what would be even better than a small get-together? A Scanlan Shorthalt Birthday Extravaganza!”

Vax laughed and shook his head. “Come on, we’re friendly with Scanlan and such, but we would rather keep this tame.”

Keyleth leaned across the coffee table and touched her hand to his knee. “Vax, trust me. Scanlan is, surprisingly, capable of tame. It’ll be you, Vex, Percy, your other friends, me and Scanlan at one of the best mansions in L.A.” She smiled. “Oh, and probably Grog and Pike, because the three of them are kind of a packaged deal.”

Vax sighed. Keyleth smiled at him and he was torn. He wanted to keep it small so that he could keep the alcohol away easily, but Keyleth’s offer did sound tempting. It also sounded like something Vex would enjoy since she wouldn’t have to snap at him for babysitting her when she didn’t need supervision at all times.

“I’ll ask Vex,” he consented after a long moment.

Keyleth’s hand squeezed his knee and she smiled brilliantly at him.

-

To his genuine surprise, the party was practically perfect. Scanlan had been excited to throw it and at first, Vax had worried, but Pike had promised not to let him get out of hand, on the condition that she and Grog were also invited. It was an easy sell and already made all parties involved more comfortable.

They had laughed, told stories, and sang stupid karaoke songs for hours. It was close to 1 in the morning and the group had splintered into smaller factions. Kima had been basically adopted by Grog, Pike, and Scanlan as they took over Scanlan’s overly large TV to play video games. Grog seemed to be especially enjoying Kima’s company as he’d actually voluntarily chosen to be on her team over Pike’s, leaving Pike and Scanlan to team up. Ironically, this proved his downfall as the Pike-Scanlan team was sweeping the floor with Kima and Grog, but the four of them were laughing and having a great time.

Gilmore, Allura, Percy, and Vex were in the kitchen having a civilized discussion and telling stories about how they all met. A lot of it was very embarrassing for both of the twins, but Vex took it all in stride, her arm looped through Percy’s and a stupid fake birthday tiara perched on her hair.

Vax had been talking with them, but when he realized that Keyleth was missing, he excused himself to the back of the house to look for her. He managed to guess her location on the first try because she was seated in one of many cushioned pool chairs close to the edge of the property, her eyes trained on the sky wistfully.

Vax approached silently and slipped into the chair next to her. He studied her briefly: her red hair was tucked into a loose ponytail with Pike’s spare hair elastic and she was wearing a light green blouse with ripped jeans. It was casual and yet she made it look elegant all the same. She didn’t seem to notice his arrival so he cleared his throat gently.

“What are you looking at, Kiki?”

She jumped and almost fell off of her chair, clutching a hand over her heart in fright. “Geez Vax I didn’t even hear you approach. Are you secretly a ninja or something?”

He gave her a small smile. “Maybe in another life.”

She returned the smile. “And, well, I’m looking at the stars. Or, I’m trying to.”

Vax squinted up at the sky. There wasn’t a lot to see between the lights of the city and a few scattered clouds. “Anything interesting up there?”

She laughed lightly. “I don’t know, honestly, the light pollution makes it hard to see most of the time.”

He studied her face again. She looked content, but also a touch sad. “Was it better at home?”

Her smile spread and she got a faraway look in her eyes. “Miles.” She looked over at him and he saw excitement glimmer in her eyes. “Zephrah is high up and far enough from any big cities that we have the most beautiful nights. Imagine huge clear skies and more stars than you can count.”

“If just thinking about it makes you look like that, I can’t wait to see it,” he said. He almost didn’t realize what he said until the words were out. He clamped his jaw shut and waited to see her reaction.

Keyleth smiled faintly, her timidness creeping in as she looked out over the edge of the deck towards the glittering city of Los Angeles. “I don’t regret leaving though. Being here has been important for me: I’ve grown into my own person and there’s so much I learned here I never could have learned if I’d never left.” She looked back at him. “And of course, I met all of you. So I really don’t regret it.”

Vax looked up at the sky. “Coming here was probably the best thing that Vex and I could have done. We’d worn out our stay in London; it just wasn’t our home anymore.”

Keyleth looked at him curiously. For all he’d shared with her, this felt more raw and sensitive than anything else he’d given her as insight into their past. Vax felt the corners of his mouth lift half-heartedly.

“Our mother died,” he said suddenly. “Stabbed by some mugger in an alley. It threw everything in our lives out of loop and just opened a lot of doors we didn’t need opening. We finally made the choice to move on and come here and it changed everything. We didn’t have degrees or higher education, but we found a stupid hole-in-the-wall apartment. We met Gilmore and Allura and Kima and it was good. Then Gilmore finally made us start the channel and since then,” he paused, his fists clenching and unclenching, “it’s felt like everything has spiralled so out of control.”

“Do you regret it?”

He laughed and shook his head. “Never.” He looked up and locked their eyes. “You said it best, right? If we hadn’t done that we never would have met any of you.” He looked back at the house where he could hear the laughter of his friends and he smiled faintly. “It’s nice to be wanted.”

Keyleth reached over and took his hand in hers. Her fingers were long and slender and they fit between his almost perfectly. She had a freckle on the back of her hand that Vax locked his eyes onto, almost afraid to look up at her.

Vex was right. He cared so deeply for her, but he wouldn’t dare push her. He valued her as a friend more than anything else and the last thing he wanted was to lose her and the semblance of love he’d found in his life. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, and adore her, but he was afraid. He looked up and saw she was just watching him shyly.

Her eyes were beautiful and they glimmered with more emotions than the easily readable happiness and kindness. There was doubt and fear in them too, but they were so unapologetically human. Keyleth wasn’t perfect and he was so thankful for that. It made her even more beautiful.

“Cannonball!”

Grog’s voice cut into the atmosphere abruptly. It was all the warning they got before there was a loud bang and a huge spray from the pool as he leapt in. The resulting splash nearly drenched Vax and Keyleth, but Vax was quick on his feet and he managed to stand and pull Keyleth with him just out of the splash radius.

Kima cheered as she sprinted outside and leapt in after Grog. More laughter followed and Vax watched as Pike and Scanlan dashed out of the house and jumped in as well, their hands tightly linked. Keyleth laughed loudly and Vax realized that he was holding both of her hands. He dropped one quickly and tugged her towards the house.

“I’m not really feeling like getting soaked, are you?”

She giggled. “No, you’re definitely right. Let’s go.”

Using their still linked hands, she pulled him into the living room of the house, just as Vex and the others were trickling outside to watch the spectacle taking place in the pool. Gilmore, Allura, and Percy all didn’t appear to even notice Vax and Keyleth, but Vex cast them a meaningful look as she walked past. Vax gave her a stern look in reply and she just winked before he was left alone with Keyleth.

Keyleth was still giggling. “Wow, that was an adrenaline rush I didn’t know I needed.”

Vax chuckled. “Near-death experiences will do that to a person.”

“I don’t know if I’d call that near death,” she said, nudging his arm.

He shrugged. “Grog and Kima together? That sounds frightening.”

Keyleth smiled and the conversation died. Vax became painfully aware of their proximity and privacy. His own heart was racing and there was something about the way that Keyleth was looking at him that made him throw caution to the wind.

“You know I’m in love with you,” he murmured lowly.

His free hand cupped her face and he kissed her. Her lips were soft and warm and for a second, she was completely frozen against him. Vax nearly panicked until there was a tentative, gentle response. It lasted only for a moment before Keyleth pulled away, eyes wide and cheeks flaming red.

Vax dropped his hand from her face and tried to catalogue the emotions he saw flickering across Keyleth’s face. He saw awe, and shock, and a hint of admiration, but it was all quickly buried by fear. Keyleth gently stepped away, stepping out of his space, and shook her head. Her fingers brushed against her lips and her shoulders crumpled a little again.

“Vax, I,” she mumbled tensely, “I can’t.”

She stepped back again, and again before finally, she turned and basically ran out of the room towards the front door. Vax was left standing alone in Scanlan’s living room. Shame flooded him hotly followed closely by the sharp pain of rejection. As much as he wanted to think he knew how to read Keyleth, her running away was about the last thing he had expected. He stared at the place she disappeared and felt an unfriendly coldness grip his chest.

He had ruined it.

-

“She ran away from you?” Vex exclaimed in surprise.

Vax groaned and dropped an arm over his eyes. He was lying on the couch in their living room the day after the birthday party where Keyleth had fled after he kissed her. “No need to rub it in, Stubby.”

There was a rustling noise before a pillow thudded against his stomach and he groaned. Vex had clearly chucked one of the pillows from the armchair she was occupying at him. “She ran away from you, and you didn’t go after her?”

He lifted his arm and levelled a glare at his sister. “What was I supposed to do? She said she couldn’t and I didn’t want to push her, that would have been even worse especially since I dropped that on her so suddenly.”

Vex pursed her lips. “I still can’t believe you’re in love with her.”

“Just days ago you were encouraging me to be, so why is it hard to believe?”

“Because, brother dear, even though you are free with your affection, it’s been a long time since I’d actually seen you look at anyone like that. I’m happy for you, I promise.”

He sighed and picked up the pillow she had thrown at him. He traced his finger along the outer seam. “I messed this up,” he said bitterly. “I shouldn’t have done anything.”

Vex threw another pillow at him. “Vax’ildan, you did not mess it up. You were honest and that’s good. You need to talk to her and figure out why she ran away.”

“I tried calling her this morning and she didn’t answer. Am I supposed to just blow up her voice mail?”

Vex crinkled her nose. “No, definitely not. You just need to do something that she can’t ignore or hide from.”

Vax rolled so he was on his side and made eye contact with Vex. “I’m not going to publicly show up at her apartment with flowers and loudly declare my love if that’s what you were envisioning.”

Vex laughed. “Not quite what I had in mind, though I do like the image. I have a better idea.” She slid her phone out and tapped a few things. Vax’s phone chimed on the coffee table and he reached for it.

[Vex] I Was Made For Loving You | open.spotify.com

He stared at his sister. “Tori Kelly?”

“Featuring Ed Sheeran,” she replied. “Everyone knows he’s the king of romantic love songs.”

“What am I supposed to do with this? Bring a boombox and go stand outside her apartment, blaring the song until I get her attention?”

Vex rolled her eyes. “No, dummy, you’re supposed to sing it. We do make videos for a living and if you want to get Keyleth’s attention you need to make it clear to her that you want it. It will be an obvious message to her while also not drawing in all the media attention that you literally yelling about how much you love her would.”

Vax glanced at the album cover on his phone screen and then back at his sister. “You want to do this song, right? It’s not just a ploy for this?”

“I do,” Vex promised. “Maybe I can’t say anything to Percy yet, but this should be a nudge in the right direction either way.”

Vax sighed. “If I go get my guitar, we’re doing this my way.”

Vex grinned. “Listen to the song. You’ll like the guitar parts anyways. Plus, it’s already a duet so there’s not much rearranging required.”

Vax nodded but didn’t move from the couch. “Okay, I’ll do it. But, tomorrow. I need a day to wallow.”

Vex snorted. “Well, that doesn’t sound pathetic in the slightest.”

He gave her a pointed look. “You’re the one who had a fit after the paparazzi caught you and Percy together. Let me have this.”

She sighed. “I’m picking the movie then and since you threw out all of our alcohol, it actually has to be a good one.”

-

In the end, it took them a week to get a sound and video combination that they liked enough for the cover. Vax edited the video, partially because he liked editing, but also partially because he was mildly afraid Vex might throw in something about Keyleth that he really didn’t want to be in it.

He started it with a shot of his hands as he played the guitar introduction before it panned to Vex as she sang the opening of the song. He played with the lighting and contrast in post a little and found a balance he liked that was still natural but had subtler ethereal vibes. Overall, it felt like one of their better videos and he did like how they ended up with their arrangement of the song as well.

The video got the approval from Cassandra, who apparently adored it, and so he queued it up to post at noon. Cassandra had been working with Zahra to plan a meet-and-greet/mini-concert for Vox Machina coming up and had insisted that they would play the song live. The idea made Vax’s stomach turn, but it was a good cover, and Vex seemed to want to, so he would do it anyway. Plus, with the event that coming weekend, at least they were prepared to perform it.

The video went live and his phone immediately chimed with a notification from Vex.

Vex @vexmachina • Just Now

New video’s up! See @vaxmachina and I take on @torikelly and Ed’s I Was Made for Loving You -> youtube.com/watch?v=klRueW

He retweeted Vex’s tweet and stared at the compose button for a long moment before selecting it.

Vax @vaxmachina • Just Now

It’s Tuesday and you know what that means #voxmachina | youtube.com/watch?v=klRueW

He placed his phone down and picked up his guitar. He strummed a few chords and hummed along, trying to perfect the melody he was working on. The lyrics had been developing at a rate that was just slow enough to be discouraging, so he was trying to work on different aspects of the song to reignite the inspiration.

He was playing a particularly tricky cadence when his phone chimed. Vax sighed, but place the guitar to the side. He glanced at his phone and furrowed his brows.

Kiki @keylethashari has retweeted your tweet: wooooooooow!! <3

Vax smiled faintly at the notification and placed his phone face down on the table again. He and Keyleth hadn’t spoken directly since the kiss occurred, but they had interacted on Twitter, retweeting and liking each other’s posts. He wanted to talk to her again and for them to regain what they had had before Vax had screwed the whole thing up.

He moved to grab his guitar again, but his phone vibrated. He paused and stared at it. It vibrated insistently again and again. It took entirely too long for him to realize that it wasn’t notifications: it was a phone call. He didn’t even think before he answered the call.

“Hello?”

“Vax?”

A faint smile tugged up his lips. “Hey Kiki,” he replied gently.

He heard her exhale deeply. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to pick up. If anyone had treated me like I did to you, I know I wouldn’t have.”

Vax paused, unsure how to reply. “I shocked you so your reaction was justified.”

“But cutting you out wasn’t. You’re one of my best friends, Vax, I should have never treated you like that.”

He breathed out slowly. “Keyleth, I get it, it’s okay.”

“I wasn’t fair to you and I haven’t really been fair to myself. I miss you.”

He smiled. “I miss you too.”

“Your event is this weekend, right?”

“Yeah, we’re meeting at the Emon Center for Performing Arts.”

“I’ll be there. If I could see you right now, I would, I promise, but I’m actually in Zephrah.”

Vax straightened in his seat. “You went home?”

Keyleth sighed. “I missed it more than I thought and I needed some perspective. My dad gives good advice. He’s the one who told me to phone you instead of just showing up on Saturday.”

Vax laughed. “Not that I wouldn’t have appreciated that as well, but I’m glad you called. I like hearing your voice.”

She let out a breathy giggle. “I’m glad I called too.”

-

The Friday night before the event, Vax was going over the preliminary questions that had been submitted on Twitter. He and Vex were sorting through which ones they wanted to answer and then they would send those over to Zahra for final approval before the official questions were selected. He was lounging on the couch in the living room, scrolling through the question results on his laptop while a new video was exporting in the background.

His peace and quiet were disturbed by the ringing of the apartment phone. Vax scrambled for it, pulling it to his ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi Vax! I’m outside, can you buzz me in?” Pike greeted cheerfully.

“Pike? What are you doing here?”

“Unimportant at the moment, but if you could let me up, that would be great.”

“Uh, alright I guess,” he paused to push the button which opened the auxiliary door. “But, really, why are you here?”

“Thanks, Vax!” she said brightly before disconnecting the call.

Vax stared at the phone in confusion. He hadn’t spoken to Pike since his birthday and he had no idea how she’d gotten their address or why she had shown up unannounced. He loitered around the door for a minute until there was a crisp knock on it, signalling her arrival. Vax opened the door quickly.

Pike was alone, her light hair twisted into a loose bun and she was wearing a purple concert tee that was probably Scanlan’s with a pair of black leggings. She smiled at Vax and stepped into the apartment, closing the door behind her. Vax stepped away from the door as Pike slid her shoes off and dropped her purse on the ground next to them.

Then, she turned her blue eyes on him and fixed him with a firm stare. “What’s going on with you?”

Vax blinked, taken aback. “What?”

Pike tilted her head. “What’s going on, Vax?”

He stepped further away, feeling his defensive walls sliding up. “Pike, I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Her gaze softened. “Let’s sit,” she suggested, moving past him to the couch.

Vax sat beside her warily and fidgeted with his sleeve. “What’s going on?” he asked.

Pike studied him. “You’ve withdrawn. Something happened last week or the week before that caused you to withdraw completely. You blew off hanging out with everyone last night, which, according to Vex, is completely unlike you. Every time you look at a person, your eyes get this haunted, sorrowful look.”

Vax blinked. He hadn’t realized that his friends had actually noticed his behaviour. Since the disaster with Keyleth, Pike was right in her observation that he had withdrawn into himself, sheltering his emotions more tightly than normal. Between Vex’s issues, the mess with Keyleth, and the general pressures of mounting popularity he wasn’t particularly fond of, his mind had been a mess recently. Pike’s gaze on him was gentle and soft.

“Vax, are you okay?”

He let out a long sigh. “There’s a lot going on.”

She nodded. “Of course. Do you want to talk about it?”

Vax looked down, frowning. “I don’t want to stick you with all of my problems.”

Pike touched his hand gently. “Vax, I want us to be friends. Ask Scanlan or Grog, I’m really good at listening to my friends. At the very least, let me give you a hug?”

Vax looked at her. Pike’s blue eyes were gentle and earnest and her face was open. She seemed to be completely honest and like she was prepared to be patient with him for however long he needed to discuss everything that had been going on. Vax exhaled deeply and let his shoulders hunch and his guard drop.

“I told Keyleth I loved her and she ran away.”

Pike smiled sympathetically. “Oh Vax, is that why she disappeared to Zephrah for a while?” He nodded slowly. Pike squeezed his hand. “Vax, do you know what happened to her mother?”

Vax’s eyebrows shot up. In all the time he’d known Keyleth, she’d never spoken of her mother to him. “No, I don’t.”

Pike nodded. “Well, that’s her story to tell because I don’t even know all the details. But, I know it has made her wary of relationships. You need to talk to her about that because,” Pike paused, smiling, “because I see how you look at her and I know how she looks at you. It’s special, Vax, so hold onto it.”

He let out a breathy chuckle. “I hope so,” he mumbled.

“And Vax? If you need to talk about anything else, I’m available to listen. And if not me, then talk to Vex. You guys are partners after all.”

Vax pulled Pike into a hug quickly. After a brief pause, her arms wrapped around him in return. “Thanks, Pickle.”

She giggled. “No problem,” she paused, before continuing, “Stringbean.”

Vax pulled back and raised an eyebrow. “Stringbean?”

She crossed her arms and pouted. “Hey, Pickle is a common one so I was trying to find a vegetable and you’re all long and lanky so I thought it fit.”

He chuckled. “I love it.”

She beamed. “Good, now tell me everything.”

-

Over the course of the event, Vax posed for more photos than he ever had in his life. Most of them were also with Vex, but some fans wanted individual shots of the twins. The sheer number of people that had turned up to meet Vox Machina was startling, and Vax was even more grateful to Pike for listening to his fears and for giving him a pep talk the night before. It made everything manageable.

Several of their friends had shown up in support including Gilmore, Allura, Kima, Grog, Scanlan, and Pike. Percy was on set shooting a film and couldn’t come and Keyleth had messaged Vax saying that she had just landed at LAX and was on her way directly from the airport. Scanlan, Pike, and Grog had drawn some attention, but Pike had been quick to affirm that they were simply present to support their friends and that none of them would be taking photos, questions, or signing autographs.

They were at the point in the day where Zahra and Cassandra had managed to corral all of the guests into sitting in folding plastic chairs as Vex and Vax sat on stools at the front of the room, each of them with a microphone and Vax with his acoustic plugged into a sound system. With all the eyes in the room trained on them, a dark nervousness clenched in Vax’s stomach and he stared down at his hands where they rested on the word strings of his trusted guitar.

Vex touched his arm and nodded confidently. She was smiling and Vax took a deep breath. He started strumming firmly and launched into the song.

“Do you hear me? I’m talking to you,” he sang lightly.

The crowd started cheering almost as soon as he started singing and Vax instantly looked down at his guitar as he continued to sing. Vex jumped into the song, capturing the audience’s attention. Vax managed to get through the piece by barely glancing up, and judging by the cheers of the crowd around them, it didn’t seem to matter.

After the song, he placed his guitar onto its stand and Cassandra jumped up from her chair to stand in front of the crowd beaming. “Ladies and gentlemen, you have just heard one the first live performances by Vox Machina. We at Whitestone Records are so excited to announce our partnership officially and that we’re collaborating with these incredibly talented artists to bring you Vox Machina’s music by the album. We’re going to give these two a quick break, but then we’ll bring them back to answer some questions.”

The crowd cheered and Cassandra turned to the twins, beckoning for them to follow her. She led them into a side room which was obviously a meeting room with a conference table and a minibar. Vex immediately went for the mini-fridge and pulled out two bottles of water, tossing one to Vax. Ordinarily, he would have caught it without issue, but he was still distracted and fumbled it. Vex gave him an odd look, but she didn’t have time to push it as the door to the room swung open again.

Zahra led the way inside this time, leading Pike, Grog, Kima, Allura, Scanlan, Gilmore, and lastly, looking tentative and shy, Keyleth. Vax immediately placed the water bottle on the table and strode to her side. For a brief moment he was terrified for what she would think, but she just pulled him in and hugged him tightly. She smelled like flowers and Vax knew in the moment that the awkwardness between them was put on hold for the moment.

Scanlan and Pike immediately engaged Vex in a conversation while Gilmore and Allura got chatting with Zahra and Cassandra. Vax slid his hand down Keyleth’s arm to find her hand and he squeezed it tightly. She squeezed it back before tugging him closer to the door, more out of earshot of the others.

“I got here just in time to see you sing,” she said after a moment.

Vax stared at her. “Oh, I, uh, didn’t see you.”

Keyleth brought her free hand up to his face and touched his cheek lightly. “Are you okay?”

He exhaled shakily. “I don’t know. I’ve performed in front of people before, but today something just feels off. I can’t describe it.”

Keyleth tipped her head and smiled sympathetically. “Hey, Vax, it’s okay. I’m sure no one really noticed. I mean, I only saw because,” she cut off, pausing awkwardly.

Vax gave her a half-smile. “Because you know me,” he finished.

“Alright!” Cassandra said suddenly. Vax stepped back from Keyleth quickly and looked at the label owner. “Let’s get back out there for that Q&A.”

Vax made eye contact with Keyleth one more time and she gave him a reassuring smile. The cold sensation in his stomach lessened a bit and he followed Cassandra and Vex back out to see the two hundred or some odd people who had gathered to meet Vox Machina.

-

The Q&A was fairly painless. Thanks to the screening they had done of submitted questions, most of them were related to the actual music and not Vex and Vax’s personal lives. The unsettled nervousness was lessened after Keyleth’s arrival, but it never really fully went away. Thankfully, Keyleth and their other friends had found a spot to stand at the back of the crowd almost exactly in Vax’s direct line of sight so he could look to her for a reassuring smile whenever he needed it.

The event had wrapped up pretty quickly after that, though many people lingered to try to snag one-on-one conversations or take more photos. Vax found the majority of the people were very pleasant and nice and polite. It was mostly young 20-somethings and he got more than a few compliments on his guitar playing and arranging skills.

There was one particularly pompous guy who seemed absolutely sure that Vax was some kind of professional with multiple music degrees. Vex was only too happy to reply that neither of them had received university degrees and they were both completely self-taught. The prick had stormed off in a huff after several other people laughed along with the twins.

Only about fifteen people remained in the venue, including their friends, when Vax finally managed to look for Keyleth again. She seemed to be in the middle of a heated discussion with a man in his early thirties and Vax frowned. He walked towards them and Keyleth scowled at the person she was talking to. He caught the tail end of one of her statements as he approached.

“Frankly that’s none of your business and I’m appalled you would try to ask me that,” she snapped. The man sneered, but didn’t reply as he noticed Vax approaching. Keyleth stepped around the man to stand at Vax’s side. “I’d appreciate it if you left now,” she added.

Vax folded his arms. The man didn’t move. Vax shifted his weight and levelled a heavy stare at the man. “Do I need to call security?”

“Only if you and that bitch sister of yours actually think you’re going to end up anywhere besides two twin holes in the ground,” the man snarled.

Vax and Keyleth both recoiled and only after a horrifying second of nothing, did Vax realize that the man was reaching for something on the inside of his coat. The stranger pulled his hand free and Vax lunged for him. His hands closed around the man’s wrist and over the barrel of what he discovered to be a small handgun.

Keyleth screamed behind him and he heard Vex cry out in shock from further away. Vax struggled with the man, attempting to aim the weapon upwards as the man tried to level it. For a brief moment, Vax was winning the strength contest, but then his hand slipped off the barrel and it slid downwards suddenly.

A piercing shot sounded and Vax stumbled back. The pain was sharp, unfamiliar and spreading a lot quicker than he was expecting.

Keyleth cried out and grabbed his arms, trying to keep him on his feet. There was a loud squeak of shoes as Grog full out launched into a tackle, smashing the shooter to the ground and knocking the gun free. Vax stumbled, his breaths coming faster than they should have.

“Vax!” Vex screamed. She was at his side in only a moment, but as his sister’s hands desperately clutched his left side, and Keyleth tried to hold up his right, Vax’s vision blurred.

His weight dragged them all down to the ground and the last thing he saw was the absolute terror in Vex’ahlia’s expression before his eyes slid shut and there was just silence.

[dontgofarfromme]

Afterimage

Vex’s eyes can’t pierce illusions, and her magical talents are small and shoddy in the face of those like Keyleth and Scanlan, but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, she sees things she shouldn’t.  Things that nobody else does. But then, none of them has died as many times as she has. 

Or, Vex'ahlia and her ghosts.  

[ao3]

--    

There must be something, Vex thinks, about dying. Something that untethers your soul just slightly more each time you do it, something that makes you harder to retrieve each time you drift beyond the gate. Vex’s eyes can’t pierce illusions, and her magical talents are small and shoddy in the face of those like Keyleth and Scanlan, but that doesn’t change the fact that sometimes, she sees things she shouldn’t.  Things that nobody else does. But then, none of them has died as many times as she has.

She notices it first in the year after Vecna--the fact that Whitestone Castle is a house of ghosts. It’s not just because of the brutal murders of the most recent rightful owners--it's something that she thinks must occur to any venue this large and lived in and old. The former inhabitants visit their old home more frequently than Vex had ever assumed was possible. She doesn't see them all the time, of course, and they aren't the wailing, shrieking spirits of the undead--in fact, Vex is almost certain that they are fully, one-hundred percent deceased and not on this plane despite interacting with it in the slight ways they do.

Rather than haunting, the ghosts hover, as though the castle is some sort of tourist locale. They drift across the floors, peering at the décor and the furniture. Some of them appear to even interact with one another, as though discussing how in their day the gallery was furnished far better, and who hired the person that placed that chandelier in the foyer because honestly, it’s gaudy, you’d think the de Rolos would know better. The residents, though, they treat with care.  More than once Vex sees the shimmer of a near-invisible hand clasp over Cassandra's to still its shaking as she attempts to draft yet another letter for yet another duty that should never have been hers. More than once she has seen the flash of a proud, amused smile as Percy talks circles around tentative allies and potential enemies with a poise Vex knows comes from participating in and observing years of terse, life-or death negotiations. She is proud of him, for taking this on, proud of both him and Cassandra. She sees their family watching and knows they feel the same.

Nevertheless, she sometimes avoids the castle. Her house, in contrast, is new and nearly entirely untouched by death; and sometimes the flashes she sees across the planes are too much. She doesn’t want to always live with the dead. She tells Percy what she sees, sometimes, but she doesn't share the details. It seems private, in a way. A secret, between her and the dead.

Keyleth is still the summer breeze, and Pike the sun, and Scanlan as fondly irritating and Grog as unrestrained and brash as ever. There is a weight to all of them now, though, that creeps to the forefront of the group. They see each other in short but increasingly frequent spurts, in the brief moments that Keyleth can transport via plants to Whitestone for a few hours between meetings, or that Scanlan can pop over using the Gatestone until someone of arcane means finds his singing through the entirety of their political meetings disruptive and sends him back. Their homes are miles apart, but with what they’ve been through Vex finds that they're closer than ever. Perhaps they have all finally grasped the insignificance of the time they have here--the fragility of their lives.

Vex doesn't see the ghosts that linger in Vox Machina’s thoughts often in real life—the people she knows seem to try to stay away or out of sight, for the most part. She goes back to their old keep numerous times, but the spirits of their fallen guards don’t seem to linger. Tiberius’s red scales have never slipped past the corner of her vision either. She wonders if its intentional, if they know to avoid her because it might dig into old wounds, or if it's something on her end, her unwillingness to dwell on their deaths for any longer than she must.

She does see Willhand Trickfoot once, when his death is still fresh and they are all with Pike in Wesruun, going through the things that were his. The vision is unexpected, but as they clear out his house for Pike to take over ownership, she catches the old man standing in front of his granddaughter, an insubstantial hand softly cupping her tear-stained face. Pike can’t see him, Vex knows, but her shoulders seem to relax just slightly and her face softens, some of the weariness and grief ebbing away. Willhand’s eyes flick directly to Vex with a startling awareness of her observation that she's never seen in a spirit before. He looks peaceful, but imploring, and Vex nods almost imperceptibly as a fierce conviction wells within her. Pike’s only real blood relative may be gone, but she is not without family—they will make sure she knows it.

The first and only time she sees Vax in full form, the wound from his absence is still aching and raw. She is in Syngorn, her first time back since fighting Vecna, her first time trying to go about  this whole ambassador job with what feels like a gaping hole in the centre of her being. Seeing Syldor tears at the edges of it, not because he’s cruel—they came to an understanding, in that year before everything went to hell, and while he is not loving he is respectful, at least—but because she should not be here, in her father’s house, debriefing him on their defeat of a demi-god, alone. In all her times coming here as an ambassador, her brother has been in the back of her head—sharing her experiences with him was always the first order of business after a particularly taxing trip, sprinting from her house to drag him to the nearest tavern the second he stepped from the Sun Tree, leaving Keyleth and Percy in the dust. This time, every idiotic thing city officials and council members spew, every unintentional narrow-minded slip her father makes, every hilariously sarcastic or heart-meltingly sweet thing Velora says to her triggers an automatic I can’t wait to tell Vax—, until the painful void in her heart swallows the sentence and swells larger. Sometimes she wonders if it will consume her altogether.

She and Velora are walking the streets of Syngorn, Velora shouting with the exuberance of any pre-teen girl let out of school for a full day, the aftereffects of her death and resurrection invisible for the time being. Syngorn’s ghosts don’t bother Vex in the slightest—she knows none of them, and if she were to, holds only as much sympathy for them as they would for her, which is likely very little. She ignores them as they slip past her silently, ignores the stares she gets still from both the living and the dead full elves wandering the street. A title and station can only do so much for one’s reputation when it is a thing you are born with, and it seems death does very little to abate one’s prejudices, at least for those as long-lived and fixed in their ways as pure-blooded elves.

As they cross a bridge at the edge of town, Velora hops up to the edge and, before Vex can stop her, scrambles to stand on the very top of the railing and begins tightrope-walking across it. It’s a long way down to the river and the rocks below, and Vex is about to yell for her when she sees Velora lose her balance just slightly and begin to tilt towards the edge. A wave of cold panic washes over Vex as she kicks herself into motion, sprinting towards her sister, but she’s too slow and she feels herself in that moment once again, the world beginning to end, herself falling to the ground, frozen and helpless, watching Vax spiral uncontrollably from the sky on clipped wings.

There’s what feels like an unnatural gust of wind and through the fog of memory Vex sees a blur of black hurtle into—through—Velora, stopping her tilt towards the river below and toppling her backwards onto the bridge. She lands with a solid thud and sits stunned for a moment, then bursts out laughing. Vex finishes her mad dash and collapses next to her on the bridge, hugging Velora as though she might disappear if let go. Velora keeps laughing until Vex’s tears begin soaking into her shirt, at which point she pushes Vex up and her face contorts into an expression of worry.

“It’s ok, Vex. Nothing bad happened, see? I’m right here!”

Vex takes a deep breath and tries to collect herself, but ends up dissolving into deep, shuddering  sobs. Velora’s arms wrap around her, small and wiry but strong. She doesn’t know how long they sit there for, on that bridge, mourning their loss and holding onto each other for dear life, but it feels good to let go of her composure for once, to pour her sorrow out into the world. At some point, Vex feels another set of arms join Velora’s, larger and stronger and shaking just slightly. She doesn’t look up, not until her tears have finally stopped, not until he’s let go and is fading once again into the distance. Velora doesn’t notice, of course, but Vex watches her brother—more substantial than any other spirit she’s ever seen, so vivid that she wonders exactly what he is, what it is that his Queen has him influencing on their plane—as he walks away from them again. His shoulders are strong, but she can see the slightest tremble to them, and there are three feathers braided into his long hair—one blue, one black, and one brown. She doesn’t call out to him, but she can tell he knows she’s watching.

Afterwards, she knows he’s there, sometimes. He’s different from the rest of the ghosts, but then, he is a part of her. When she feels her vision involuntarily drawn to nearby pitfalls and avoids them so her steps are as silent as the grave, when her thieves tools slide in and out of a lock type she’s never come across before with the precision of a master, when an unnatural breeze like a wing beat passes her face as she sails across the sky on her broom, she can feel him. Somehow, he never brings the same discomfort the other ghosts do. Her knowledge of his presence isn’t supernatural in the same way—it just is.

The temple of the Raven Queen is an odd place to go for solace, but in her case Vex thinks it’s understandable. She’s not entirely sure what the gods think of their followers paying homage to other gods. It’s probably a bad idea, but she’s not entirely sure she cares. Vex is a devoted servant and champion to Pelor, but the Raven Queen's touch has been on her from the time of her first death. Vax's sacrifice, Kashaw’s and Pike’s magic, brought her back, but no one escapes death unscathed, and if there’s someone who’s to blame for Vex’s walking in two worlds it is the Matron of Ravens herself.

Vex is one of few who ever goes to the temple in Whitestone, although the number of those who follow the goddess of death seems to be slowly increasing. It’s probably Vax’s fault, she thinks. Everything usually is. Empty or not, the shades here are more respectful than anywhere else, in that they at least keep out of her sight. Vex is sure they’re around, curiously observing the passage of time in the living world, wondering at the strangeness of Whitestone’s Lady lurking in an almost-abandoned crypt of a temple, but they don’t edge into her vision as much as they do elsewhere. The Queen’s sway here must dissuade them from poking their noses disrespectfully into other people’s business.

The altar is smooth and cold, and the blood Percy stole from the temple in Vasselheim sits still and clear in its place. Some days, Vex goes over to it and stares in, unsure what she’s hoping for a glimpse of. Others, she simply walks in and raps her knuckles irreverently on the altar’s stone surface.

“You’d better be looking after him,” Vex says into the emptiness, “If I get over there and he’s in any way damaged, you’ll have me to deal with. I’ve faced down an ascended god before. I’m willing to do it again”

Threatening a goddess in her temple is also probably a bad idea, but Vex thinks they have an understanding. The loud “CAW!” and swirling of feathers from outside the door to the crypt sound more to her like acquiescence than anger.

Some days, bad days, when she’s tired and hurting and her mind is tied up and held captive to the memories of Vecna and dragons and gods and the people she’s lost, even her house in Whitestone is too much. Her worst mornings always seem to push her vision farther away from this plane, and even faintest shades of the former inhabitants of this plot of land that drift past outside become more vivid and more immediate. On these days, Vex feels like she cannot escape death, not in her mind, not in her life, not for a minute. These are the mornings that she clings to Percy the hardest as she kisses him goodbye, and each time he holds her eyes with a look that pierces the haze of heavy, pressing fear and grief.

“I’ll be here when you return, dear.” He always says, holding her gently, tracing a hand through her hair, his artisan’s fingers brushing over the feathers behind her ear. She nods her head against his chest and pushes down the lump in her throat, feeling the tears well again. Gods, how she loves him.

“Just return,” He whispers into her hair, “that’s all I ask.”

Vex takes her broom and a pack and flies, to the heavens where her ghosts and those of others don’t tread, to the skies that are clear of spirits, clear of dragons and demi-gods and anything else that would threaten. Sometimes she’s gone for days, or weeks. Sometimes she finds herself all the way to Keyleth, sits with her far from the wisps of Zephrah’s dead, on the edge of a cliff, looking out across the skies and land and seas that remain intact only because of them and what they’ve lost. They lean against each other until any tears have dried across both their cheeks, until Vex’s heart has stilled, until she can see her way past the ghosts and the shades of death that pull her down and away from the world. Until she can see her way to life, to a future.

Sometimes, she feels the slightest, softest warmth of a familiar hand on her shoulder, and the barely-there brush of a feather across her cheek. She smiles.

She always returns.

[darrilshrugs-blog]

Stick around a while

Summary: The de Rolo’s aren’t aging like regular people. Maybe all the magic and horror of their lives is catching up to them?

Writer’s note: This is a something I’ve worked on for a bit, and just wanted to get out of my head to clear space for other dumb things.

It isn’t until years after they have stopped adventuring that they notice anything is amiss with Percy and Cassandra. There is an accident during construction of what will one day be the new indoor marketplace while Percy and Vex are away from Whitestone. Luckily, no one is gravely injured, but there are some broken bones. 

When they return, Percy checks in with the acting foreman. The regular foreman, Desmond, has had his leg broken by falling timber. Percy speaks with the man for quite some time before realizing that he knew him as a child - the man of late-middle age, grizzled and weathered, had been the son of the stablemaster at the castle. 

Reassured from their discussion that the accident was a pure incident of materials failing under a heavy load, and not a flaw in his design, Percy tells Vex about the man, as they walk hand-in-hand to the castle.

Vex takes a brief look over her shoulder and remarks, “It’s nice that you remember him so fondly. Was he friendly with your older brother?”

“Julius? No, he was close to Ludwig and Cassandra, seeing as they were around the same age.”

Vex takes another glance back, and pats him on the forearm with the hand that isn’t currently holding his. “Darling, than you must be misremembering. That man looks to be ten years older than you, not some years younger. Perhaps you have the wrong man altogether, or he’s an older brother of the boy your recall?”

He walks silently with her for a few steps, letting her lead the way as he tries to remember more of his life before the Briarwoods. Some things have returned to him with total clarity that had been shrouded bits before, but others still hurt too much to examine too closely, or are still hazy with memories of blood, chains and unnatural smoke.

This is not one of them, he hadn’t thought. As he spoke with the man, he saw him clearly as a boy in his mind’s eye, sword-fighting with sticks in the courtyard with Cassandra, while Ludwig, playing the princeling in need of rescue, cheered her on.

But Vex must be right. The man just now had been beginning to stoop with age, his hairline had receded far back on his forehead, and his beard was laced with gray. His memory must be playing tricks on him.

-

Vex doesn’t think anything odd about the encounter with the acting foreman. She isn’t troubled by gaps in Percy’s memory from before. She’s grown used to some inconsistencies and some things that he just can’t recall at all. She knows as well that some memories and feelings hurt too much to dredge up or face head-on. Her thoughts run to the surprise flood of grief she feels every now and then, when she catches a sidelong glance at her reflection in a window and thinks it’s him, only to have everything flow back into her all at once, before she can steel herself against it.

That is, until she mentions it casually to Cassandra some days later. They watch from the walkway atop the interior wall as Percy and the children play in the snow. The younger ones have asked their father to help try to build a snow-bear, while the older ones, closing in on their teenage years, are attempting to bombard each other with high, arcing snowballs from opposite sides of the courtyard.

Cassandra gets the same far-away look in her eyes that Percival gets when searching his memory of his childhood. Vex is pleased to see the accompanying smile, hopefully as she remembers her victories over her playmate in their youthful sparring matches.

Cassandra, so much less guarded with her now, shares more detailed recollections of the man as a boy, and doesn’t seem overly concerned at Vex’ disbelief that a man who should be Cass’ age looks so much older.

“Life in Whitestone may be as good as it has ever been, but it is still hard, and takes a toll on those less fortunate than we.” As Vex nods, Cassandra adds,” Besides, Percival and I were white-haired before hitting our twenties,” She smiles with a mock-conceit that Vex, recognizes as one of the mannerisms that  led her to fall madly in love with Percy, “and we de Rolo’s have always managed to age rather gracefully.”

-

More time passes. Percival and Cassandra enter their fifth decade of life. Brother and sister show the signs of human aging - a slowing metabolism adds a bit of weight to both, and their complexion gains some color from all the time in the Northern sun and cold.   Friends use the more accurate descriptors of “healthy”, “no longer see-through”, “less, you know, ghostly?”  or “not looking like they could be knocked over with a lil’ flick of me finger”.

Despite these signs, however, none can ignore that the de Rolo siblings are barely aging. Percy still has the reflexes and vitality that he possessed when he adventured across the world and the planes of existence. Cassandra is just as dedicated and sharp a guardian of her city as she was when forced into responsibility in her teens.

Vex’ahlia certainly appreciates every moment of her husband’s life, and begrudges none of his professional, or personal, vigor. She rarely flashes to the horror scenes of her memory - Percival, bloodied and stilled on the ground of Glintshore, or eviscerated at the feet of a slain green dragon. Cass in black armor, with Vex’s own arrow though her chest - but she will never forget them. She just prays that this is not another horror to be visited upon this poor family, her poor family.

-

The siblings and their family, friends and advisors cannot and do not ignore the situation. In private conversations with the few they trust, the de Rolo’s express their worries that some of the darkness they have battled in their lives has made them unnatural. Percy and Cassandra mull their encounters with the Briarwoods and their dark god-ling, and Percy frets anew on the possibility that he still carries some taint of the shadow-demon on his soul. Over months, visits from clerics, arcanists, scholars and priests give no indication of evil lingering on the siblings, putting most minds at ease. 

The subjects of all this poking and prodding, however, are still de Rolo’s, and as such, they continue to carry this weight of worry with them. At the next Winter’s Crest, celebrated together this year in Westrun, mostly in the home Pike has inherited from her great-grandfather, Percy asks a favor of his diminutive friend. 

They are sitting together, all but the children, in a familiar, magically-appropriately sized dining room on the last night of the trip when he asks. “Pike? Could you ask the Everlight if Cassandra and I could have an audience, if Keyleth were to agree to try to bring us to her?” He no longer hides his worries from his family, from any of them.

Unlike much of the family, Pike isn’t as taken aback by the suggestion as he expects her to be. He sometimes forgets how long he has known her, and how well she knows the way his thoughts can run. “I can ask, Percy, and I don’t mind trying. But we know there isn’t anything wrong with you two, if that’s what you want to ask her.”

“I know that’s what all the magic and holy prayers have said, but it isn’t normal, not that abnormal hasn’t been part of my life since ...” he doesn’t mention all the things that Pike knows he is thinking of saying.

Pike sits up somewhat from where she had been reclining by the fireplace. “Percy, I’m going to ask you and Cass a question. I have some experience with the Everlight and I have an idea of what she might ask you if we were to see her. Is that alright?”

“Of course.”

“Are you happy?”

“Very much so.” His answer is immediate, without mulling it over or choosing his words carefully. That shows, more than the words themselves, how very far this Percy has come from the scared, secretive young man he was when they all first met; he has grown confident, trusting, open. His hand, on Vex’s shoulder as she rests against him in the armchair they share, pulls her closer.

“And is Cassandra happy?”

As focus turns to where Cassandra sits, Grog, who is sitting on the floor, brings his hand next to his mouth in an attempt to cover his lips. It is maneuver that is impossibly obvious, even for him. He whispers far too loudly to be considered whispering “Scanlan, is it even possible for that priss to ever be happy?”

The words barely leave his mouth before he reacts to a sharp elbow in his side. He bends to in fake pain and surprise over Cassandra, who has been leaning her back against his flank. Grog promptly receives a face-full of ale as the Lady of Whitestone’s other arm arcs up to toss the liquid in her cup over her shoulder at him.

“Apologies. I appear to have spilled my drink.” She says flatly as Grog sputters and the rest of the assembled group laughs.

The laughs die down a little, and Grog wipes his face, Percy returns his look to Pike and answers her “Yes, Pike, I believe my sister is happy.” Cassandra is nodding as she receives a refill.

Pike gather herself for a short speech, which is still not her usual style “I’m so happy for you both. You deserve to be happy. And after all that you two have been through, and all that we have seen and done together, do we need to particularly know why we will have you with us for longer than we initially thought?

“If it’s due to the number of times we revived the two of you, or some weird result of being near the ziggurat, or blessing from the Dawnfather, or the Everlight or the Raven Queen” She breaks from looking at Percy to scan the faces of the rest of them “Does it matter, that you’ll have more happy years with our family?”

This time, Percy does pause a few moments to consider. Not too long though, as he pulls Vex closer again against him, holds his cup out for a refill, and cracks a smile. “No it does not. You have always been the wisest of us. Thank you Pike.”

“My pleasure, Percy”

[pearwaldorf]

From a Percy as Winter Soldier AU that never got off the ground

--

The sphere encloses Ripley, and for a breath it looks like it will hold. There is a sound of shattering crystal, and it disappears. Before anybody can react, Ripley blinks out of the circle of people that surround her, reappearing beside Percy’s body. She cradles it in some grotesque parody of care, grinning at them before she blinks away.

There is horrible silence for a moment, and then Vex screams. It is a terrible, heartbreaking sound, not animal at all. It is the noise of a woman who knows exactly what she has lost, and is inconsolable about it.

Vax bolts to her side, swifter than one of his daggers, and wraps his arms around her. His first priority will always be his sister. She does not begrudge him that.

“We don’t even have a body to bring back to Cassandra.”

She wants to laugh when she realizes Percy would be her primary source of comfort.

--

Keyleth looks over the gravestones, reading names and dates of de Rolos long past. “The Ashari don’t keep bodies around--there’s just no room. We burn them and scatter the ashes to the winds.”

Cassandra looks surprised at this. “Then how do you visit them? Remember the dead?”

“The memory of the dead lives within those who survive them, and in the books and words passed down from generation to generation.”

“Here the dead rest for anybody to see.” There is some comfort in that.

Walking through the graveyard in Whitestone, seeing the markers, she can see the appeal of a tombstone. She may not know who these people are, but she knows they existed at one point.

“Kiki, come on.” Vax’s voice is soft, the way it gets now when she’s been staring into space for too long. She hadn’t even noticed.

The plaque is ostentatious, with Percy’s full name carved large. Keyleth smiles a little, because he would have hated it, but still considered it his due. At the bottom, below Son and beloved brother, there is another line. She looks at Cassandra, unable to speak.

Keyleth traces the words on the plaque. Of Vox Machina.

“He was yours as much as he was mine. Maybe more. You were there for him when I could not be. He would have wanted that acknowledged.” There is a trace of something in Cassandra’s voice. Envy, perhaps a little, but more sorrow that there were parts of her brother’s life she was not privy to, and never would be.

“Thank you,” Keyleth whispers.

[uchuuryokou]

Nightmares

"True, I talk of dreams,

Which are the children of an idle brain,

 Begot of nothing but vain fantasy,

Which is as thin of substance as the air"

                                      Romeo and Juliet

 Vax dreams about fire.

The orange flames are everywhere around him, engulfing him, eating him alive. He tries to escape, but he can’t find a way out. He sees his clothes catching fire and flames on his body covering him, as if trying to catch him. He can feel his skin melting in terrible, burning sensation. He sees Keyleth, jumping into flames and wants to call out to her, but he can’t make any sound.  He follows her, but there’s more fire, and he can’t jump, he can’t, he’s such a coward. So he just watches, as his body turns to ash and vanishes in hot flames.

In his dreams, he sees his sister in a cold stone tomb, dead. She’s wearing his attire- the Raven Queen’s armour. He prays and prays, but no matter how long he is kneeling on the ground, there is no response.

He touches his sister’s face, and it transforms, and grows, and soon he stands before the Raven Queen’s unmoving, unforgiving mask. Her cold eyes are judging his every move, and he realizes she’s holding a familiar golden thread.

She pulls it and Vax wakes up just before it snaps, covered in cold sweat.

**

In her dreams, Vex sees a fire as well, but it’s a different one.

She watches her village being burnt to the ground, with cold realization that her mother is dead. She watches Thordak burn her childhood house, and she wants to take her bow out and shoot an arrow, but she’s a helpless child. So she cries, for her mother, brother, Vox Machina, anyone but no one ever comes.

In her dreams, she sees Percy, covered in some, with his mask on his face.

“Take off the mask, darling,” she pleads, but he doesn’t move. The gun in his hand twitches a little bit, as he leans to her ear and whispers.

“Don’t worry, my dear. I’ll break the world for us.”

She dreams about her father’s disappointed face, as he mocks her.

“You are nothing,” he says “You are a merely a nuisance. Do you think you could ever achieve anything by yourself?” Syldor sighs deeply. “If only your mother wasn’t human.”

If only.

She dreams about her meeting with Saundor, but in her dream, it’s different. She is holding a bow and arrow pointed at him, but she hesitates.

“I agree,” she says, and watches in horror, as her bow turns into roots of a tree, and they pierce her arms, slowly and painfully turning her into a tree as well. She looks at Percy and sees his shocked face, full of disbelief. She wants to say she’s sorry, but as she opens her mouth the roots grow into it and she can’t speak anymore.

And Saundor smiles.

**

Before his eyes close for the last time, Tiberius sees the fall of his homeland, and it’s worse than any nightmare he could’ve had.

**

Grog doesn’t dream often, but when he does, it’s about blood. He holds Craven Edge in his hand, slashing at his enemies, as the sword whispers to him.

And he wants more.

So Grog fights on, and on, and on, unless he’s too tired and he stops to ask his friends where they are eating dinner today, and he sees them all on the ground, bloodied and dead. And he realizes it’s his fault, that he killed them all when he wasn’t paying attention.

“NO!” he roars and runs to them, but it’s too late. There’s Vax lying on the ground with his head cut off. Vex is lying nearby, her bow nowhere to be seen. Percy and Keyleth are right by his feet, and none of them are breathing. Scanlan is crushed into the ground, his tiny body broken and slumped over a rock.

As he finds Pike, he takes her into his arms, tears rolling off his face. She is yet alive, barely breathing. When she opens her eyes, he can see that they are full of fear.

“Why?” she asks, and he cannot find an answer.

The Craven Edge laughs in his mind.

**

Percy has more nightmares than he can count, and they are all connected to people.

His first nightmare consists only of sounds: of his family’s screams, Delilah laugh, sounds of fighting, sound of Cassandra’s body hitting the ground when he escapes. He hears his breath as he runs, his heartbeat, and except that there’s only darkness.

His second nightmare is made of smoke and shadows, and he sees himself in it; a lost man with a demon ruling over his soul. In the dream, he talks to Orthax like he’s an old friend, someone to rely on.

He puts his mask on and takes a shot into the darkness.

His third nightmare is Anna Ripley, and it’s more terrifying than Percy would ever admit. She always finds a different way to torture him, even after her death.

He dreams of Briarwoods, he dreams of Anders, he dreams of Vex falling in the Ziggurat.

He won’t tell anyone that some nights he’s too afraid to close his eyes.

  **

Scanlan sees his mother’s face, with every possible detail.  He doesn’t remember anything other than that about his dream, but as he wakes up, he feels like he never went to sleep in the first place.

He dreams about the power of suude travelling in his vains, but after short moments-it disappears, and so does his confidence. He is normal again, and he can’t do anything.

He realizes how useless he is, and it hurts.

He sees Vox Machina, the demigods he travels with, walking in front of him, talking between each other. He slowly watches as they walk further and further away, not realizing that they are leaving him behind.

No one looks back.

He dreams of Kaylie, looking at him with a mix of rage, sadness and disappointment.

“You promised!” she yells, and he tries to explain, but she does not listen. She walks away, and it’s almost as the moment he saw his mother for the last time, and he runs after her, but never catches up.

She doesn’t look back either.

**

Pike dreams about storms on the sea, about the harsh wind and cold water. She fights with exhaustion, as the captain yells at her; an order that she barely hears because of the storm. Another wave comes, and before she realizes, she gets thrown off the ship. Salty water fills her mouth and she tries to swim up, but she realizes after a moment, she doesn’t know where up is anymore.

She dreams about Vox Machina, coming back to her, everytime with another friend dead. She sees the hope in her eyes as they look at her, and she knows how much everybody relies on her. So she prays, but Saren Rae is cold and distant and in that moment, Pike realizes she failed.

In her dreams, she sees Scanlan in the Thordak fight, as he dies. She rushes over to resurrect him, and he looks up at her, but as he does, she sees his face is half rotten. He smiles at her and reaches to her with his arm, but there is no flesh on it. Cold bones touch her cheek, as he speaks.

“Don’t worry, I’m just a little cold.”

**

In her dreams, Keyleth sees her father.

He’s different than usual. His eyes are cold and his voice harsh. He explains that she is not fit to be their leader. That she is disposable. That she should give up on her Aramente.

She dreams about her people, looking at her with dismay and anger. She was not able to protect them, and she should be replaced. So she gives up and leaves, being a disappointment to everyone, but most of all- to herself.

In her dreams, she watches Vax and all of her friends grow old. She watches them wither and die, and as the years go on, she’s the only one alive. In her dreams, she’s the only one left to care for their tombs, because nobody else remembers or cares.

In her dreams, they all die during a fight with the Kraken except her, and she is not even able to recover their bodies.

Sometimes she dreams about Vax, with a large shadow of Raven Queen lurking over him, always watching, waiting. She realizes that it is inevitable, that his fate would always be connected to his goddess and she fears that there might be not enough of his time left for her.

Sometimes when she wakes up and she thinks the shadow’s still there.

[pajama-nerd]

I’m Back!

Picking up where I left off earlier....

So Alexis tells Kynan about how she’s not from this world, and that being in this world whooped her ass a bit, but she’s still kicking, and more than that, she’s kicking it with Vox Machina, so buck up, kiddo. 

And remarkably, this helps. 

But, what she didn’t realize is that Vax, having been worried about what it was that Alexis was going to say to Kynan, had listened in on the conversation. 

So now Vax knows. 

And weirdly, a lot of things start to make sense to him after that. Because her speech has always had a strangeness to it, and some of the things she’s said have clearly been references to things that none of them understood. She will occasionally sing Scanlan’s battle field ditties hours afterwards, but the words are always different.

But more importantly, the distance that she keeps makes a lot more sense now. How lonely she must be, stuck in a place not of her birth.

And then comes Percival’s letter. 

Alexis had come over to the table to sit with the conscious members of Vox Machina, and Vex reveals the letter and well...

(story time!)

Alexis listened as Vax read the letter Percy had kept hidden in his jacket pocket, eyes trained on the table as she processed his words. 'Tomorrow I start on a new path'. Had Percy decided to leave them? Would they have gotten up one morning to find his belongings missing, no explanation, no good-byes? This was before Umbrasyl – would he have left them to that fight? She fought the frown that wanted to burst forth. She was going to have words with him later, just as soon as the order of them didn't include space for her fist.

She turned her attention back to the letter and listened to the wonderful things that Percival had to say about his friends, her smile invisible behind her mug of water.

"'Pike, it is wonderful to have you home'," Vax read, raising his voice slightly. Alexis glanced at the unconscious gnome and shook her head slightly at Vax's attempt to include her. "'You bring everyone closer to their best selves, and I can only imagine what a burden that must be'," Vax said, before looking over and chuckling. "Oh, she's out," he realized, looking back to the letter. "'Allow yourself some vice and failure'," he went on with another chuckle and a shrug of his head. "Done and done. 'We'll still love you all the same'. Oh, true," Vax said, smiling. The others echoed his smile as he read on. Vax hesitated, looking at Vex, who wasn't looking at him.  

The hairs on the back of Alexis' neck stood on end and her eyes lifted from the tabletop in time for Vax to glance from his sister to her, their eyes meeting. She read surprise and confusion, and her mouth was suddenly dry. She forced her expression to still, betraying nothing as she looked at Vex. Vex was observing her keenly as Vax returned his eyes to the letter, and Alexis hid her swallow behind the mug she held in front of her mouth before setting it on the table.

"'Alexis'," Vax read, making everyone except for Vex and Alexis blink. Instead, her heart stuttered, half in trepidation as to what he might say, and half in joy. Percy thought well enough of her to include her in his good-byes? They'd only known each other for a couple of months at that point. Vax glanced up at her once more before continuing. "'This may come as something of a shock, given our strained conversational persiflage, but I know that you care – far more than you have ever let on. As we have traveled, it has become clear to me that you have built yourself a hard shell as a result of some past betrayal, perhaps to prevent future betrayers from knowing how deeply they have hurt you – as if the fact that they can't see your pain will negate its very existence. We both know that is not how it works, and while you hide your pain from those who would seek to hurt you, you also hide your joy, your camaraderie, and your love from those who would embrace you'," Vax read, pausing once again to look at Alexis.  

Her expression hadn't changed, but he could see she was taking measured breaths, and her hand was pale with the force of its grip on her mug. He looked back down at the letter and almost immediately let out a surprised giggle.

"'Excepting as always your dear Bruno, without whom your rare smiles would never have been witnessed'," he read with a smile, before shaking his head. Reading on, his smile faded. "'This is no way to live, Alexis. I implore you to learn from my mistakes – I have hidden so much for so long, and it has brought me more misery than protection. It is no way to keep living, my friend'," Vax read.  

There was a sharp intake of breath that made his head jerk up from the letter. The others started too, but when they looked, Alexis appeared the same as she always did; bored. Vex, who hadn't looked away from Alexis, ducked her head and smiled at the table at the way Alexis had looked practically gob-smacked for half a second. She nudged her brother and nodded back to the letter. Vax glanced between her and Alexis before turning back to it, brows furrowed in mildly suspicious confusion.

"'I know – perhaps better than most, if you'll forgive some immodesty – that change is difficult, but I think you will find that a change towards openness to be worth your time and effort, as we both know that these people most certainly are'," Vax finished, looking up from the letter.  

They all turned to look at Alexis' steady, resting expression. Alexis met each of their eyes for a handful of seconds before taking a slow, measured drink. The half-elves among them were the only ones to notice the slight tremor in her hand as she lifted it from the table. Once the cup was empty, she set it on the table, pushing herself up and walking away without a word. They watched her, Keyleth blowing out a heavy sigh while Vex slowly shook her head. Grog scratched his fingers through his beard as he observed her calmly retreating form.  

"I don't think she got it," he said. The twins groaned, rolling their eyes. Keyleth giggled into her cup. Scanlan masked his own eye roll and then nodded sagely at Grog.  

"Well, you know, she is – by far – the least intelligent among us," he responded dryly. Vax ducked his head with a smile, shoulders shuddering once with a silent laugh. Grog nodded

"That makes sense," he replied. Keyleth snorted, accidentally inhaling some of her wine. Vax rubbed her back as she coughed. When she recovered, he shook his head at Grog's inability to perceive bullshit and looked back at the letter. He blinked a few times.

"'Bruno'," he read, before looking around. Bruno had been sitting in a nearby booth, bouncing gold pieces into a cup with a stymied and regretful Kashaw. When Alexis' name had been mentioned in the letter, he had stopped, and watched the whole thing. He was staring at the door when Vax said his name, and turned his head, bright blue circles of light darting between the letter and its reader. "Bruno, this letter's from Percival, and you're in it," Vax told him. The blue circles winked out for a second like a blink and he pointed to himself. Vax smiled at his childlike charm. "Yeah, you. You wanna hear what it says?" He asked. Bruno put the knuckle of his finger to his mouth uncertainly for a moment. He turned his head towards the door that Alexis had left through before looking back at Vax and nodding. Vax nodded back and cleared his throat, looking back at the letter.

"'Bruno,'" Vax started again. "'I don't have much to say to you, my adorable friend. We didn't get to know each other as well as I would like, and I consider this a loss on my part. And since I know so little, I will say only this: I may not know your birth mother, but the one you have now is a fine woman who loves you more than herself. I think you should be proud of her – in fact, I am sure that you are – but she does not always know what is best for herself. I charge you, then – in so much as you will allow me to – to continue to be a source of joy and comfort for her, until such a time as she will allow others to share in that responsibility'," Vax read, before smiling at Bruno, who nodded slowly. He looked at the door again, turned back to give a small wave at the others, and started off after Alexis, hunching to avoid the ceiling.

(end)

And there’s not a lot of time to pursue it, what with Alexis deliberately avoiding them with something about a project in her workshop. And then they’re gearing up for the fight with Voragul, and Alexis makes sure there’s no time to talk - before or after - and then they’re getting ready to leave for Fort Daxio to set up for the siege of Emon. Everyone else is ready, but Alexis is nowhere to be found.

(story time again! I spoil you)

"Someone should go gather Alexis," Percival said after a quick look around. "She'll be in one of the workshops," he added, and Vax nodded.

"I'll get her," he said, turning and going off to collect their wayward, self-isolating friend. Making his way into the castle and down the steps to where the workshops were housed, he pondered the story she'd spun for Kynan a few nights previous. It was too outlandish not to be something real, and considering it, a lot of her odd behaviors began to make a little more sense. Those days when she had struggled to maintain her cold composure, relying on Bruno for distraction and motivation. Odd references to things none among them understood, turns of phrase, her reaction to Scanlan's wit on the battlefield.  

But aside from her oddities, it was clear that, despite being surrounded with people, and with Bruno at her side always, Alexis felt very much alone in this world of which she was not born. It explained much, and was a matter of some concern to Vax, because Percival's letter spoke the truth – perhaps it would not have taken so long if Alexis were more affable, but – Vax, at least, considered her to be as much a part of their broken family as any of the others.

He drew back from his thoughts as he approached the door of the workshop Percival had agreed to let Alexis use. He could figure out how to express his regard for his friend later, they had things to do and then a red dragon to slay. He knocked, but there was no answer, and he frowned, trying the handle of the door, which shifted easily.  

"Alexis?" He called as he pushed open the door and stuck his head in.  

His eyes were drawn immediately to the small, black and white dragon that was perched on the largest worktable, heart spranging wildly in his chest and eyes widening at the sight of Alexis with her arm shoulder deep down the dragon's throat.  

He clicked his boots and the world slowed. He vaulted the steps, daggers drawn--

Alexis looked up at the sound of his landing, blinked, and tilted her head. Vax hesitated.

"Vax," Alexis said, arm still in the dragon's open maw. "What are you doing?" She asked. He gaped, heart still pounding as he skidded to a stop.  

"What am I doing? What are you doing? What is this? Why is there a dragon in the workshop?" He demanded loudly, dropping his daggers to clutch his chest over his wildly beating heart and bend over, bracing one hand on his knee. After taking a second to breathe, he looked at the beast in question. Now that he was closer, and paying more attention, he could see that the black scales only covered the top of the head and the shoulders, spreading a little further down the spine. The white scales covered the arms and a portion of the underbelly, but the rest was shining, polished, naked brass. He sighed roughly and glared at Alexis as his daggers returned to their sheaths in a blink.

Alexis looked at Vax, noted his agitation, glanced at her shoulder and put her free hand on the underside of the mechanical dragon's jaw, one thumb perched on the rag she'd thrown over the teeth. She withdrew her arm and the rag, adjusting something at the hinge of the jaw and watching them close slowly on the air.

"He's not active. He's not even finished yet," she said. Vax stared at her and then looked back at the dragon, noting the schematics on the table, as well as the small, partially crumpled half-skull of Alexis' former companion, the small metallic Pseudodragon--

"Is this Leopold?" He asked, and she looked at him, one eyebrow arched.

"It will be once I'm done," she replied. He considered the mechanical beastie, who was almost the size of Trinket.

"How much do you have left?" He asked. She shrugged. "How long will that take? We're almost ready to head out," he explained. Alexis shrugged again.  

"Couple minutes – fifteen at the most," she replied. Vax nodded, reaching up for his earring.

**

"Since we have a moment, I wanted to thank you," Vax said, holding the bullseye lantern with light stone up so that Alexis could see what she was doing.  

"What for?" She asked, tightening something inside Leopold's frame near the tail they'd just attached.  

"I want to thank you for helping Kynan," Vax said. There was utter stillness and silence in the room before she resumed whatever it was she was doing, but at a noticeably slower pace. "I want to thank you for sharing your story with him to help him realize that he wasn't beyond hope or redemption," he added. Alexis didn't say anything in response, but moments later, she set her tools aside, closing up the bottom hatch that protected Leopold's internal gears and sliding out from under him. She pushed herself up and wiped her greasy fingers on a rag.

She avoided looking at Vax throughout this process.  

"I made up a story for your boy to keep him from killing himself, Vax; it's not that big of a deal," Alexis dismissed, with far less conviction than she usually granted these moments where she pretended something meant far less than it did – or perhaps it was just that Vax had gotten better at spotting it since Percival's letter. Her cheek twitched and her eyes darted shiftily to one side as she walked quickly around him and to the other side of Leopold. Vax sighed.  

"Alexis, please," he said, following her. He abandoned the lantern after accidentally blinding himself with it, moving around the inert dragon to stand next to her. She didn't look at him, touching the panels of brass as if looking for imperfection. "That story was not a lie, not one bit of it," he told her. She worked her jaw, but said nothing, fingers still moving over Leopold's seams.  

Vax sighed, shook his head, and gently grabbed Alexis by the arm, turning her so that she had no choice but to face him, and then holding her other arm too. 

"Alexis." He said, looking her in the eye. "I know you did not intend for me to hear this story. You did not – do not – intend for Vox Machina to know this truth about you, and I promise they will not learn of it from me. But I am grateful that you would share this with Kynan so that he could gather the courage to move forward with his life. I was terribly worried about him, but he is better now than he was, and it's because of you. So...thank you, Alexis," he said, with a small, genuine smile. She stared at him for a while. The moment extended.

"Is this the part where we make out?" She asked with a flat, dry tone. "'Cause I don't think we have the time, and I'm not sure Keyleth or Gilmore would approve," she said, and he blinked before leveling an exasperated, confounded glare at her.  

"Don't deflect the—I am trying to be nice to you," he said, so confused as to why she found this difficult to understand. Her cheek twitched, and her eyes narrowed slightly.  

"Well that makes me uncomfortable," she replied. He gaped.  

"Uncomf---Alexis, what---" he started, shaking his head.

"I'm done," she interrupted, and he blinked, grip on her arms loosening, hands retreating slightly.  

"Done? I don't— I didn't mean to--" he stammered.

"With Leopold," she clarified, making him blink and stare, words evaporating with her rapid shift of conversation. "I'm done. He's finished. I'm ready to activate him," she told him, her expression as steady and even as ever. Vax narrowed his eyes at her, took a breath to say something, let it out in a small sigh through his nose and then nodded.  

"Right. Sure. Okay," he replied. She walked around him again, making her way to the front of the table and he gestured at nothing, glancing up at the ceiling and shaking his head at it before following her. "How do you activate him?" Vax asked once they were in front of the complete dragon, and Alexis glanced at him for a moment before moving to the side of Leopold's head and sticking her hand in his ear. There was a click and a faint whirring, and she quickly retreated, pushing Vax back with her while she observed her creation keenly for errors and malfunction.  

The constructed dragon pushed himself up onto his feet, spreading his wings and lashing his tail back and forth. He twisted his head left and right and adjusted his posture several times in different ways before sitting and turning his gaze to Vax and Alexis, keen golden eyes observing them both with curiosity before focusing on Alexis.  

"Mistress," he greeted her with a deep bow. The thick wooden table gave a single, but ominous creak. Alexis arched an eyebrow at the construct's formality.  

"Do you remember who you were?" She asked, and he raised his head.  

"Of course, Mistress. I was Leopold. I had been collectively active for two years, three months, seventeen days and six hours in my previous incarnation. Do you wish to change my name?" He asked. She considered his tone and syntax.

"No. Leopold will do," she told him. He bowed his head again.  

"Then Leopold I shall remain, Mistress," He replied courteously. Alexis studied him, lips set tightly. Vax glanced between her and Leopold for a moment and then cleared his throat.  

"Leopold," he started, ignoring Alexis' eyebrow and considering the way Leopold tilted his head. "Do you remember Vox Machina?" He asked. Leopold tilted his head the other way.

"Of course," he replied, making Vax blink, a small knot of worry easing in his chest. "Vox Machina rescued my Mistress and her Bruno from the Briarwoods at Whitestone. She made them all trinkets for Winter's Crest," Leopold said. Alexis tensed and made a small, abortive noise at the mention of Winter's Crest before releasing it as a small sigh. Vax blinked again, eyebrows arching, mouth falling open in surprise as he glanced at Alexis, whose eyes were closed, nostrils flaring. The picture of a person reattaching their grip on their patience. "You are Vax'ildan--" Leopold went on, apparently oblivious to his mistress' distress, and Vax blinked, looking back at him. "--who got the redirect bracelet to accompany his blinkback belt," the dragon finished, tail flicking slowly back and forth behind him.  

Vax blinked again, and then looked down at his wrist, and the small, brass circlet of daggers he'd found by his bed that wintry morning  before all the mess with the dragons had started. There was a sudden warmth burning in his chest, and he looked at Alexis, who was staring at her unconcerned dragonling minion. A smile spread across his face as he looked at the woman who was pretending to be unaffected by the revelation that she had – no more than two weeks after meeting them – secretly given them hand-crafted presents of immense personal and practical value. The smile grew until it was a grin, joyful and full of mischief.

"Thank you, Leopold," he said, still looking at Alexis, who glanced at him and his grin, and then looked back at Leopold, who gave a small bob of his leonine head.  

"Of course," Leopold replied amiably.

"C'mon, Leo, we've got work to do," Alexis said.

"Yes, Mistress," Leopold responded, stepping down off of the worktable and moving to stand beside her. He bent his right leg, offering her a step up so that she could sit on his shoulders, and she took it, seating herself comfortably between his shoulder blades. Vax watched this all, smile still firmly in place.

"Can I have a ride?" He asked.

"Your legs ain't broke," Alexis replied, nodding towards the door when Leo stood and looked back at her. Vax chuckled, walking along behind them as they made their way back up to the party.

(end!)

And there’s a cute scene where Vax loudly tells everyone where they got their gifts those few months previous. 

Pike’s music box, which plays a hymn of Sarrenrae (and carries one charge of resurrection, which they’d used on Grog after the debacle with Craven Edge), 

Vax’s bracelet, which harmonizes with his belt and brings the daggers back to his hand instead of his belt; 

Vex’s necklace, which has a mildly hypnotic effect on money-minded people; 

the charm hanging off of Scanlan’s lute, which has reduced the severity of a number of vicious attacks made against him; 

Keyleth’s measuring spoons for her alchemical learnings; 

Grog’s armbands, which present a warning and a challenge to all who can read them. 

For Percival, it appears, she had taken Bad News apart and then put it back together, smoothing some rough edges, and making minor adjustments to improve his ranged effectiveness. This of course meant that Percival had always known it was her doing. 

Alexis makes it clear that some form of revenge will be taken on Vax’s person for this ‘betrayal’ of her image. They were not meant to know - they were never meant to know. Vax is unmoved, and makes plans to further expose the soft, squishy center of love that she kept hidden under that hard, spiky shell of hers.

Those plans eventually include Kynan. 

Kynan, who is a dedicated student, and an earnest acolyte to The Raven Queen’s Champion. And eager, Vax realizes, to throw himself at anything that presents as an obstacle to Vox Machina’s success or happiness. This of course troubles Vax, who doesn’t want this poor human boy to devote his life to a bunch of raging assholes who just happen to save the world a lot - and Keyleth, who is made of sunlight and puppies and also saves the world a lot.

And then Vax has this epiphany. Alexis does the same thing, but in a more circumspect manner. She never takes credit, and she will lie through her bleeding teeth about her motivations, but in the end, she has done again and again for Vox Machina. If only he could use this knowledge - this sudden insight - to better their lives the way they try to better Vox Machina’s.

And an idea forms.

So after training one day, he adopts a mildly downtrodden expression, and Kynan, seeing it, immediately asks what the matter is. And Vax tells Kynan ‘reluctantly’ about how worried he is for Alexis, and how much she isolates herself, and he just wishes she would take some time to be around people. Someone. Anyone, other than Bruno and Leopold. 

And Kynan thinks, ‘this is making Vax unhappy. I will fix it’ 

But obviously Vax doesn’t want Alexis to know he’s worried, so instead of just inviting her to dinner, Kynan brings dinner to her workshop and makes up an excuse about one of the kitchen workers telling him in passing that she hadn’t eaten yet.

And then, the next time they’re on an adventure somewhere, Vax makes sure to opine to Alexis about Kynan, and how he’s an eager learner, but he still keeps pretty much to himself and has no one outside of Vax to talk to. 

And Alexis thinks, ‘this is making Vax unhappy. Unacceptable and easily rectified’.

So the next time they’re back in Whitestone, Alexis makes sure to spend time with Kynan to get him to open up about things that are bothering him, and comes up with a way for them to communicate over long distances in case he has questions, both inane and philosophical. 

they end up spending a lot of time together. All while Vax is off in the corner, steepling his fingers and grinning mischievously (he loves it when a plan comes together, since theirs so rarely do). 

After a while, people are just as likely to see Kynan engaged in conversation with Alexis as they are to see him sparring or training with Vax. 

And then of course comes the subtle nudging from Vax about how pretty and smart and caring Alexis is (which almost ends disastrously because Kynan thinks that Vax has feelings for Alexis. and he does, but not like that, and besides, he’s already dating Keyleth and Shaun at this point.He’s got enough trouble on his hands).

Vax ends up recruting Vex and Scanlan for that part of the plan. Scanlan suggests straight up telling Kynan that Alexis is down for whatever as long as he’s upfront about it, but both Vax and Vex tell him he’s not allowed to help anymore (Which was probably his plan).

Anyway, they gently maneuver Kynan towards Alexis, who has - at this point - absorbed Kynan into the list of people about whom she cares. And he has PTSD, which is not as bad as it was, but is still pretty there, so she helps with that when she can, and he appreciates it. Being understood. 

So then one day he's like, "I think I might love someone, and I don't know what to do." And she's like, 'good Lord, no wonder Vax likes this kid, they're like clones with the guilt and the emotional obliviousness' (ha), and she tells him, "look, i'll tell you what I told Vax  to nudge him into that sweet poly triangle he's got going on with Keyleth and Gilmore: We could be dead tomorrow. Live it up. If you like someone, tell them. Otherwise, you're only gonna distract yourself with what ifs and doubt until suddenly you're crying yourself to sleep every night while petting a lock of their hair'

And Kynan kinda gives her a weird look at the comment about hair, but then he's like, 'you know what, you're right', to which she replies, ‘of course I am’

And he kisses her

And she stares at him And he waits And she stares And he fidgets

And she clears her throat and says, 'huh'

And he folds his arms and nods and says, 'yup' And she stares at him for a minute and goes, 'why tho' Of course, by this point he's pretty used to the fact that Alexis just completely ignores a lot of social protocol because she thinks it gets in the way of rational discussion She's straightforward about pretty much everything Except her past And Bruno And her emotional state But opinions, oh man, damn the social protocol and full speed ahead. It's part of the reason he likes her so much - that and their mutual despair over the perfection of Vox Machina. But also, she was always nice to him. I mean, their very first meeting was him stabbing her friend and she was always nice to him. He’s never understood it, and he knows he didn’t deserve it, but he’s always appreciated it. So she's like, 'okay. Those are all very good points..But consider this. I am a deeply broken person' And Kynan's like, 'I'm not exactly a paragon of perfection' And she's like, 'true, true' And she's like, 'what are you hoping to get out of this?' And Kynan's like, 'well, I mean. You help me, and I help you, and we...hold hands' (and he's blushing, which she finds silently adorable) So she considers his offer and what an actual relationship with him would be like, and how it would affect Vox MAchina, since they take up a significant portion of her thoughts, and she says, 'you wanna 'hold hands' right now?' And that's how Kynan loses his virginity And later Vax is like, 'are you sleeping with my son--I mean apprentice?' And Alexis is like, "I am never calling you daddy"

‘Holding Hands’, by the way, will absolutely become a thing. Alexis will stop working and go find Kynan wherever he is and tell him to come ‘hold hands’ with her, and Kynan will blush and stammer but invariably leave wherever he is whatever he’s doing to go ‘hold hands’ with Alexis (bow-chicka-bow-wow). 

The first time this happens with Vox Machina around, Keyleth comments about how cute it is that Alexis is shy about holding hands in public and Vax about chokes, because everyone got that ‘holding hands’ was code for sex except Keyleth (and possibly Grog, who wouldn’t care), and it’s adorable how innocent his future wife can be after having had several sessions of congress with him already.

Kynan learns things about Alexis, things no one knew except Bruno or Leopold - things no one knew about her. She helps him. He helps her. They ‘hold hands’ a lot.

Eventually, tho... 

Eventually, Alexis learns that Vax was the active instigator of her relationship with Kynan.

(story time!)

"This is wonderful," Shaun said, dipping his toast into the yolk of his egg and mixing it with the hash that Laina had made. Vax nodded.  

"Laina's very skilled," he said, and Keyleth nodded, munching on grapes from the vineyard.  

"She certainly is," Shaun agreed. Keyleth sighed.

"So good to be back in the Keep," she said, smiling, and they beamed back at her.

The three of them jumped when the door burst inward, slamming into the wall and revealing Alexis, whose jaw was set as she strode into the room.  

"You piece of shit," she growled at Vax, before glancing at the others. "Morning, Shaun; Keyleth," she greeted, her tone somewhat more civil even as she went right back to glaring at Vax. The rogue was staring in surprise at her and slowly, oh-so-casually reaching for his robe. "You complete and utter ass," she hissed, while Shaun adjusted his open shirt and Keyleth  made sure her nightgown was secure. Vax blinked, tried to formulate a response and then winced, pulling the robe on as he looked at Alexis.

"I can't apologize until you tell me what I've done," he offered, and she sucked in a breath like a hiss.  

"You manipulated me," she told him, and he narrowed his eyes, concentrating, still apparently lost. Her left eye twitched. "You manipulated me and Kynan," she told him through gritted teeth, and recognition lifted his eyebrows and opened his mouth, which then split into a gleeful, mischievous, unrepentant grin.

"Oh. Yes. I did that. And I'm not sorry," he said, before pointing to the table. "Scone?"  

Alexis gaped at him, and then gritted her teeth.  

"Fuck your shitty damn scones – are you kidding me?!" she demanded, and he arched an eyebrow.

"Now that's just rude, you're going to hurt Laina's feelings – she works very hard you know," he chided, while Keyleth and Shaun shared a glance. It was a miniature conversation between them, composed of glances and facial tics, and it read like this:

'do you know what's happening?' Keyleth asked with her eyebrows.

'I haven't the faintest idea, my dear' Shaun answered with a quick shake of his head.

'She seems really upset' Keyleth conveyed with her furrowed brow and a quick glance at Alexis.

'I think she's not as upset about the manipulation as she is that she didn't figure it out before now' Shaun replied with a lazy shrug and a tilt of his shaking head. Keyleth nodded.

'true, true. Scone?' She asked, offering the plate

'Of course, they're delicious. Thank you, my dear' he replied with a smile, selecting the tastiest among the batch.

'You're welcome, Shaun'

Neither Alexis nor Vax noticed this conversation.  

"Vax," Alexis said, raising her voice firmly and glaring at him. Vax sighed.  

"It's not like I lied about anything," he defended, and she gaped at him, speechless in her fury. "I'm not a complete asshole," he added.  

"You told him I was lonely," she accused, and he scoffed.

"You were," he replied, and she took a breath to shout before visibly wrestling with herself for control, glaring at him. He arched his eyebrows, challenging her to call him a liar. "You hadn't had so much as a reasonably lengthy argument with any of us before you and Kynan got together. You either sat in silence and watched us revel or you were off by yourself in your workshop, inventing the little gadget that was going to save our skins in the next fight. You were lonely – worse; you were lonely on purpose," he told her.  

"That was my choice," she argued, and he scoffed.

"Well, it was a stupid choice, and since you've never had a problem interfering with the choices of other people that you've found stupid, I hardly see how you can complain about this one without being a hypocrite," he rejoindered smoothly. Keyleth shared an inquisitive look with Shaun, who glanced between her and Vax and then winked at her. She blushed, nodding as Alexis wiped a hand over her face in frustration.  

"He went into the market in the dead of winter and was robbed by vendors for seeds because you told him that I like strawberries," Alexis said. He shrugged.

"Well, you do like strawberries," he replied. She heaved a sigh at him.  

"They were blackberry seeds and now we have an infestation," she snapped. He chuckled.  

"You like blackberries too," he argued. Alexis rolled her eyes

"That's not the point, Vax," she started, but he shook his head.

"Are you happy?" He interrupted, and she glared at him, almost spitting mad as she gritted her teeth.

"Do I look happy to you?" She demanded, and he rolled his eyes, shaking his head at her.

"C'mon, Alexis, don't deliberately misunderstand me. You know what I'm talking about. Are. You. Happy?" He asked her, looking her in the eye with the sincerity of the question on his face. She gaped at him incredulously.  

"That's..." She started before cutting herself off and shaking her head. Keyleth shared another look with Gilmore, their eyes glittering with matching glee and amusement. "I am not—My so called 'happiness'--" Alexis said, pointing, but Vax was grinning again.  

"So you are happy. Good then," he said, while she worked her jaw at his smugness. "I'm glad," he told her sincerely. She stared at him. He continued to grin back. She glanced at the other two, who waved, and then looked back at Vax, pointing at him.  

"I will get you for this," she warned him. He chuckled, and then held out the plate of scones.

"They're Kynan's favorite," he said with a wide, knowing grin. She glared murder at him, snatching two of the scones from the plate and storming out of the room.  

"Daggers are stupid," she shouted over her shoulder.  

"These daggers save your life on a daily basis!" He called back, before chuckling to himself and getting up to close the door.  

(end)

So...yeah

tl;dr Alynan endgame engineered by Vax to get two broken people to be a little less broken together. What a shitbird.

[vexing-imogen]

the persistence of 5/?

read from beginning | read on ao3

It’s well past dawn when Vex finally wakes, far later than she usually sleeps. It’s Percy’s doing, she’s sure of it, and she’s grateful for it. The pounding headache from yesterday has lessened to a dull ache and she no longer feels so dreadfully nauseous. She’s alone in the room, but she can hear Percy and Keyleth’s voices drifting up the stairs.

She dresses quickly, favoring a tunic and leggings over any of the fancy dresses in her wardrobe. (And it’s still so hard to believe that any of this is actually hers. Even the simple clothes she’s wearing are nicer than anything she remembers owning since Syngorn.) She moves to the vanity to attempt to wrangle her hair, but she’s distracted by the myriad of letters that are strewn across the surface.

The first one she examines is from someone named Zahra. They’re mildly flirtatious, they call her darling or dearest every other paragraph, and they practically beg her to come visit as soon as possible. She feels the urge to agree, despite having no knowledge of this person.

She moves on to the small stack of letters all from Velora. The most recent one speaks of their father, and how he’s all but given her permission to come stay in Whitestone for the summer. Her penmanship suffers for her excitement, her adolescent cursive almost unreadable in places. Her tone grows more solemn towards the end of the letter, where she admits that Syldor refuses to speak to her about Vax, and would Vex mind terribly telling her some stories about their brother?

Most shocking of all, there are letters from Syldor, too. They’re stiff and awkward, as if he doesn’t know what to say to her beyond the expected pleasantries. He tells her of Velora and Devanna, asks after Percy and Vesper, and occasionally someone called Cassandra. (Percy’s sister? Is she remembering that right?) He even asks after Trinket once. But nowhere in any of his letters does he ask after...

“Vex’ahlia?”

She jumps at the sound of Percy’s voice, her hand flying to her chest, and sees him wince in the mirror.

“Sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You’re fine,” she says, taking a deep breath. “I didn’t hear you come in. Lost in thought, I guess.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

She half turns in her chair, holds up the letter she’d been reading. “I’m on speaking terms with my father?”

“Ah, yes, that.” He hesitates. “It’s...complicated. I don’t particularly like him, and there are some days where I don’t think you do either, but you’re both trying?”

“I see,” she mutters, though she really doesn’t.

He comes up beside her, reaches for her hairbrush. “Would you like some help with that, dear?” he asks, gesturing to the wild mess her hair always is in the mornings.

He’s trying to change the subject, and she lets him. For now. “You know how to braid hair?”

Percy nods, starts to gently brush the tangles out. “Vax taught me,” he explains. “When you and I first started a relationship. He was leaving, and he wanted to make sure I could take care of you.”

She lets him work in silence for a while before she brings it up. “He never mentions Vax.” Their eyes meet in the mirror. “My father. He never asks about him or sends a message along for him. Velora says he refuses to speak of him.”

Percy sighs, his eyes dropping back to her hair. “Like I said, it’s complicated.”

Vex frowns, trying to puzzle it out. “Vax doesn’t speak to our father.”

“No.”

“But I do?” He nods. “That doesn’t make any fucking sense.”

He sighs again. “I know.”

There’s something she’s missing, she can feel it. Some piece of the puzzle that would make all of this make sense, if only she could remember. She growls, and Percy pauses in tying off her braid.

“What’s wrong?”

She almost laughs, because it’s such a pointless question. “I just want this fixed.”

There’s a commotion downstairs that can only be Grog and Scanlan. Percy gives her a tense smile. “Well, here’s your chance.”

They keep eye contact in the mirror for just a minute longer, neither of them willing to voice what they’re both thinking.

What if this doesn’t work?

=============================================================

They find Pike and the others gathered in the parlor. There’s an energy buzzing in the air, anxious anticipation. Vex can barely hear her friends greetings over her heartbeat, sounding like a drum in her ears. Pike is sitting cross-legged on the floor, a pouch of diamond dust open in front of her.

Pike smiles up at her, pats the floor, indicating for her to sit. Once she does, Pike moves up onto her knees and cradles Vex’s face in her hands. “Are you ready?”

She’s not. She’s really not. She’s scared, and she isn’t sure what scares her more; remembering nothing or remembering everything. But she can’t say that. Not here, with everyone watching her, waiting for her to make what should be the easiest decision in the world.

She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes, and focuses on Pike’s hands, gentle and cool against her skin. “Ready.”

She hears Pike mutter the incantation, feels her palms grow hot as the magical energy flows through them. She can even feel the magic flowing into her mind, probing gently, searching for something to latch onto so it can clear whatever blockage is there and start to heal her. It probes again, a little more insistently, and if magic could have emotions, she’d say it was frustrated.

Pike curses under her breath, and Vex’s heart sinks. Thankfully, Scanlan asks the question so she doesn’t have to.

“Pikey, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know!” There’s an edge to her voice, a hint of panic that sends a chill down Vex’s spine. “It’s not working.”

“What do you mean, it’s not working?” Percy demands.

“I don’t know, Percy!” Pike yells, sounding as close to tears as Vex has ever heard her. “The spell should be working, but it’s not, and I don’t know why.”

Vex opens her eyes, fighting back a whimper when she sees her friend’s tear-stained face. “Pike?”

The gnome takes a deep breath, steadies herself, then reaches out for Vex again, her expression determined. “I’m gonna try again, okay?”

Vex nods, sending up a silent prayer to whichever god might be listening. Please let this work. I get it, I know what’s worse, now. I want to remember.

There’s a moment where she thinks it’s working. The magic snags onto something, like a sweater on a loose nail. But just as she thinks it’s about to unravel, the thread snaps.

“Damnit!” Pike rocks back on her heels, composes herself. “I’m gonna try one more time, Vex. We’re so close.”

She doesn’t fight it, lets Pike try the spell again, but she knows deep down it won’t work. And, sure enough, it fails again, the magic scrabbling to find purchase on anything before it finally withdraws from her mind.

“Pike.” Her voice is hollow, defeated. She can barely see through the tears that are falling. “Darling, I don’t think it’s going to work.”

Pike lets out a noise somewhere between a scream and a wail. “I’m sorry, Vex,” she sobs. “I’m so sorry.” She runs from the room, and a few moments later they hear the door slam behind her.

“Should we...” Grog starts.

Scanlan cuts him off. “I’ll go.” He pauses at Vex’s side before he leaves, but he says nothing. He squeezes her shoulder, then follows Pike out of the house.

The only noise in the room for the next several minutes is Percy pacing and Vex’s quiet sobs. Keyleth finally breaks the silence timidly.

“Vex? Do you want me to try?”

She shakes her head, wiping away her tears. Her gaze drifts to the front door. “I think I need some air.”

=============================================================

Pike runs until she’s exhausted, gasping for air, struggling to stay upright. She’s out of the city, that much she knows. In the Parchwood she realizes when she finally falls to her hands and knees. She punches the ground once, twice for good measure, screaming her frustration into the mid-morning air.

A cluster of startled birds draws her attention to the tree in front of her; solid and sturdy, and probably much more satisfying to hit than the dirt. She wishes she had her gauntlets with her, but they’re back in Westruun with her good armor. She pushes herself to her feet and lets out another wordless scream.

She punches the tree once. Twice. Three times. Each one punctuated with a cry of frustration. She feels something pop in her hand on the fourth punch, and then a sickening crunch on the fifth. She doesn’t bother looking at the mess she’s made of her hand, just casts a quick cure wounds and screams to the heavens.

“Why didn’t it work?”

She finds a good sized rock on the ground and chucks it across the clearing, screaming again. It breaks a branch off of a small tree with a satisfying snap.

“It was supposed to work!”

She goes to punch the tree again, but something stops her hand before it can make contact. A small, purple hand, Scanlan’s mage hand to be precise, is providing a cushion between her fist and the tree.

“Pikey...”

She swallows hard, turns to face him with tears streaming down her face, and bruised, bloodied knuckles. She hiccups. “It was supposed to heal her, Scanlan.” Her voice breaks on his name, and she’s sinking to the ground sobbing.

He holds her gently as she falls apart on the forest floor. He’s mostly silent, content to rub her back, stroke her hair, press the occasional kiss to her temple. “It’s going to be okay,” he murmurs once she’s mostly cried herself out.

She sniffles. “How?”

“I don’t know,” he admits. “Have you tried asking Sarenrae?”

“No,” she says sullenly. “I kind of just screamed at her.”

He chuckles. “I’m sure she understands.”

She smiles sheepishly. “Enough for me to try a divine intervention, you think?”

“It couldn’t hurt.” He stands, kisses her on the forehead. “I’ll meet you back at Casa de Rolo. I have an idea that I want to run by Percy.”

She watches him go with a small smile, then settles herself in to meditate and pray.

Sarenrae, if you’re there, if you’re still listening. I need your help. Vex needs your help.

The clouds break, and a sunbeam shines directly down on Pike. She hears her goddess’s voice, warm and gentle in her mind.

What can I do for you, my child?

My friend Vex lost a chunk of her memories, and my magic can’t bring them back. I need you to heal her.

I’m afraid I can’t do that, Pike.

What? Why not?

Memories are not part of my domain. I cannot restore your friend’s memories to her, but I know the one who can. If you trust me, I can direct your path.

What do I have to do?