#Phoebe definitely got into football because of Roy

[jamietwat]

Jamie and Roy spending ridiculous amounts of time together and Phoebe knowing about it definitely means that Jamie’s around Phoebe a lot more in the off-season when she’s off school and Roy’s off work but still being Jamie’s personal trainer for free (and she definitely likes bossing Jamie around just as much as Roy does and finds the ridiculous shit Roy makes him do hilarious)

And you know that thing where kids love to randomly go watch this, I can do a somersault or want to see me do a cartwheel? and then you just have to awkwardly stand there and be like wow whether they actually can do them or not (and sometimes several times in a row have to try to think of something new to say the fifth time they do the exact same thing and then look to you for a reaction)

I’m just saying at some point they’re in some park and Phoebe definitely pulls a look how good I’m getting at cart wheels, Uncle Roy! around Jamie at some point and while Roy just stands there like 🧍‍♂️ and gives compliments that gradually get more and more deadpan and debates turning it into saying how much more impressive that is than anything Jamie’s done all morning but he doesn’t because he’s 90% sure that would just lead to Jamie getting all indignant and competitive and proving he can cartwheel too as if Roy isn’t already annoyingly aware of that from when he was dying trying to keep up with Jamie in Amsterdam while he was cartwheeling and practically skipping

But obviously Roy not saying anything doesn’t matter anyway and Jamie turns it into being like watch this to Phoebe and cartwheeling too and turning to Roy after like well go on, tell me how good I am at that too

Roy deadpans somehow it’s far less impressive watching a grown man cartwheel for attention. It’s just sad, really

But Jamie isn’t offended at all and just shoots Roy an obnoxious smirk and insists you’re just saying that because you know you couldn’t do one. Even trying would probably end with you needing a hip replacement or something

But before Roy can even properly argue or say something bitchy back, Jamie’s turning back to Phoebe with a how about this then? But even though it’s her he asks, it’s Roy he looks to the moment he finishes running a few steps and doing a one-handed cartwheel

And Jamie’s like well now are you impressed??? And god, Roy resents that he is and he could make a dig about how useless of a skill it was as an adult and how that wouldn’t accomplish anything on the pitch and he’d just look like one of the kids that picks flowers on the pitch instead of playing or even paying attention to where the ball is, but instead he rolls his eyes and says yeah okay

And Jamie beams but he doesn’t have time to properly gloat and give Roy shit because Phoebe’s already bossing him around telling him that he has to teach her how to do that too

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

Hey, I was wondering if you'd do a Roy Kent x reader series (maybe) where she asks him to pretend they're boyfriend/girlfriend because her ex-boyfriend is marrying her somewhat younger sister. Kinda like The Wedding Date (if you've seen it). Ends up happily ever after?

Ahh, I was going to originally try to do this in one go, but decided to do this in a few small parts so I can get some fluff breaks while working on my longer fic. Here's part one!

Playing Pretend (Part 1)

Roy Kent x Reader

1.9k words

Warnings: Language, references to possible cheating, mutual pining, major rom-com vibes

Summary: The reader has a huge favor to ask Roy Kent- a guy who can never say no to her.

Series Masterlist

“What the fuck d’you want me to do?”

“Be my boyfriend,” you explained slowly. “At the wedding.”

Roy wrinkled his nose. “There’s really no one else you can ask?”

You let out a giant sigh and tapped the side of your beer bottle. “I mean, sure, maybe. But you’re Roy fucking Kent. You’d be kind of perfect.”

His eyes bore into yours. Roy Kent had known you quite literally your whole life; he could still remember when his very pregnant mother took him to the hospital to meet you, his sister’s future best friend. Your families were ridiculously close. Up until you were about sixteen, he thought of you as an annoying little bonus sister; then, one Christmas, he came home and suddenly felt decidedly un-brotherly towards you. The way you smiled at him, the way you wore that pink dress, the way you kissed his cheek before you left at the end of the party, all of it made something snap in his brain. For years after that, the very sight of you burned his chest. But there was no way he could tell you; his little sister’s best friend? Cliché.

But those cliché feelings meant he couldn’t say no to you. Not when you’d called him late at night needing to escape from skeevy dates. Not when you’d begged him for an autograph from Jamie Tartt. Not when you’d demanded to know where he got the kebabs he brought to his sister’s parties. And definitely not now, when your heart was in a million pieces as you watched your baby sister get ready to marry your ex-boyfriend.

The idea was insane, you freely admitted that. But the situation you found yourself was equally insane, if you were being honest.

You had dated Jim for years. And Roy fucking hated him. The guy was everything Roy wasn’t: friendly, outgoing, affable, posh, clever. And you loved him. Your parents loved him. Everyone loved him.

When Jim ended things out of the blue three years ago, everyone was shocked. He hadn’t proposed, per se, but it was expected. Things were implied. You’d started looking at rings and thinking about venues. So, when he suddenly broke up with you, you were devastated. You’d spent more than a few nights curled up on the couch at Roy’s sister’s house, with Roy taking Phoebe out of the house so you could mourn with your best friend in peace.

Just when you thought you were pretty much over things, your baby sister Lauren came home with big news. And a ring on her finger. And Jim.

You’d quietly excused yourself from the party she’d chosen to announce her engagement at, walked into a bathroom and vomited, and called Roy. He’d picked you up and drove you to his sister’s, where he watched you drink whiskey straight from a bottle and cry in his sister’s arms.

Now you sat next to him at a bar, where you’d asked him to meet you so you could ask him a huge favor. He’d expected tickets to a match, or help moving to a new flat, or asking him to donate a fucking kidney, literally anything but this. A weekend at some posh estate where your whole family would be celebrating your sister and fucking Jim, watching your heart break all over again sounded like absolute shit to Roy.

But you looked at him with those stupid pleading eyes. “Please, Roy,” you begged. “You’re the only guy I trust enough for this. You’ll protect me. You always protect me.”

There it was. It wasn’t just having the big football star on your arm to show off to everyone; it was having someone you felt safe with. Someone who wouldn’t mock you. Someone who understood. And Roy was always determined to be that person.

“Fine. I’ll fucking do it.”

His cheek burned like fire where you kissed him in gratitude. “Thanks a million Roy! This is why you’re my favorite fella.

Favorite fella. You’d called him that for years. Your mother was the first person to say it after seeing the way you toddled after him all the time once you’d learned to walk. Through the boyfriends you had, through the models he dated, you assured him time and time again that he’d always be your favorite fella.

Roy ignored the warmth in his chest and sipped his beer. “Doesn’t it feel a bit like you’re stealing your sister’s thunder? Bringing a professional footballer as your date?” he mused, anxious to move the conversation along and distract himself from how fucking pretty you looked.

The shrug you gave held a coldness he didn’t know someone as kind as you could muster. “Well, she did steal my boyfriend.”

The smirk that Roy gave made your heart flutter, reminding you of all the pining you’d done for him over the years. “Fair enough.” He looked thoughtful. “You don’t have to answer but… did he… and she…?” He nodded emphatically, not sure how to finish that sentence.

Another shrug. “Who fucking knows? I don’t need to know. They didn’t have the decency to tell me they’d started shagging, that’s all I need to know.”

Roy’s heart was sad to see the hurt in your eyes. He quickly changed his tone. “Can’t believe my sister isn’t invited. Figured you’d wrangle her into keeping you company all weekend.”

You snorted, one of Roy’s favorite sounds. “Oh, she was,” you corrected him. “She’s protesting because she hates Jim and my sister.” You raised your bottle to Roy appreciatively. “Yet another reason to invite you- I need at least one Kent there. And Phoebe couldn’t do shots with me or carry me back to our room when I’m sloshed.”

That was a job Roy wouldn’t mind doing. “Bit surprised I didn’t get an invite. Only known Lauren since she was fucking born.”

“Oh, there was no way you were getting invited. Jim hates you.” Your tone was so matter of fact it took Roy off guard.

“Excuse me?” Roy’d had no idea the disdain was mutual.

You nodded, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “Yeah, when we were dating, he did not like me hanging out with a dishy footballer. Hates your guts.” Your face lit up playfully. “Yet another reason you’re the perfect wedding date.”

Another smirk crossed his bearded face. “Dishy? Is that his word or yours?”

With a laugh, you shoved him, slipping into that familiar old comfort, the one that made you forget he was Roy Kent. “Don’t go getting a big head, otherwise you won’t fit in the car.”

~

Two weeks later, Roy felt his grip on the steering wheel tighten as he pulled into the drive of the estate the two of you would be spending the weekend at. Of course Jim’s family had gone all out for the wedding. Wanker.

Your leg shook almost violently as your eyes darted around. Instinctively, Roy reached out and took your hand, giving it a squeeze.

“Three days,” he reminded you. “That’s all we’ve gotta get through. Rehearsal dinner tomorrow, wedding Saturday, stupid brunch on Sunday.”

Looking down at your intertwined fingers, you nodded. “Maybe we can skip brunch?” you joked.

Deciding he should start playing the doting boyfriend now, he lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to the back of your hand. “We can abso-fucking-lutely skip brunch.”

And you knew he meant it. Roy always meant it. It was one of the million things that made him your absolute life-long unattainable crush that you thrust into the back of your mind. You always felt like a dumb little kid around him, as if you never quite outgrew the childhood you’d shared, but part of you hoped this weekend together would maybe help him see you in a different light. Besides, Roy’s sister was right when she suggested that Roy would really get under Jim’s skin.

As if summoned, Jim came bounding out of the house, waving at the familiar sight of your car. You felt your breath catch as you gazed at him. Jim. Your Jim. At least, what used to be your Jim.

You got out of the car and waved back. “Hey there!” you called, as if you hadn’t spent the last nine months avoiding him at every family gathering he and Lauren attended.

His smile faded when Roy got out of the car, wearing that signature scowl of his. “Roy!” Jim shouted, quickly recovering. “Didn’t know you were coming.” Now in front of you, he leaned closer. “Thought you were bringing that mystery boyfriend of yours,” he whispered, ignoring the fact that Roy could hear him.

Alright. Here we go. Time to sell it.

“I did,” you chirped brightly. You waved Roy over and wrapped an arm around his waist, while he placed a hand on your shoulder. “Surprise!”

For all the years you’d spent with Jim, you’d never seen him so red in the face. “Oh! Wow! That’s great!”

Roy smiled, a smug grin that felt so fucking good on his face. “It is great, isn’t it? Me and this one, finally getting together.”

Jim cleared his throat, squirming like a worm. “Right. Well, when did this-”

“Sister!”

Lauren came sprinting out of the house, squealing as if you were her favorite person in the world. She wrapped you in a hug and planted multiple kisses on your cheek. When she pulled back, she finally noticed Roy.

“Oh. Roy. What’re you doing here?”

“Nice to see you too, Lauren,” he muttered through his teeth.

Your sister turned to you. “What happened to mystery boyfriend? I was so looking forward to meeting him,” she pouted.

You laid a hand on Roy’s stomach, pulling him close, pretending as if you did this all the time and not just in your dreams. “Well, I’m not sure introductions are necessary, considering you’ve known him forever,” you joked, hoping your tone was light.

Lauren looked as if she was doing a difficult maths problem. “I’m sorry, Roy? Your mystery boyfriend is Roy? As in, known him our whole lives, football phenomenon, used to chase you around the backyard with spiders Roy? That Roy?” Her eyes darted to Jim, who looked just as confused. “Are you joking?”

“Absolutely not,” you lied. “You said I could bring a date. I told you I’d bring my boyfriend.” You nodded towards Roy. “There he is. Is there problem or can we grab our things?”

That superior smile your youngest sister often wore appeared. “Oh, you don’t have to do that.” She judged Jim. “Love, could you send someone to grab their things?”

Roy rolled his eyes with one of his familiar groans. “Just tell me where the fucking room is. I can carry my own shit.” After a quick look from you, he cleared his throat. “Sorry, just a bit tired from the drive. And, if we’re being candid, kind of want to get this one alone for a bit before dinner, you know?” A kiss landed on the top of your head, painting your face a deep red.

The bride and groom both gawked at you, as if waiting for one of you to shout that you were kidding, that you were pathetically alone and that Roy was leaving. When neither of you did, Lauren cleared her throat. “Right. Um, when you go inside the housekeeper can show you where to go.” She turned to Jim. “We should go, er, check on that thing, right darling?”

Jim nodded, his eyes on you. “Right, right.” He offered a small wave. “We’ll see you later then.”

As soon as they were out of sight, Roy looked down at you, eyebrow quirked. “Well. This’ll be a fun weekend, hmm?”

[its-time-to-write]

More Kent!reader and baby George?? Baby fever hittin hard rn🫠😮‍💨

I gotchu! This one has some backstory on the Kents. Or at least how I imagine it, anyway. I love that you all keep requesting more of this story, I think big brother Roy is the absolute sweetest🥺

this one is definitely more Roy-centric, that’s for sure! here’s a link to the other fics if you’re new here🤗

light in the hallway

Roy’s in the middle of yelling, “Isaac, pick up your fucking feet!” when his phone rings. 

He almost doesn’t register it, because the only numbers allowed through while he’s at training are Molly’s, yours, and Phoebe’s school. 

His first thought is that something’s happened to Phoebe, and he’s already calculating how fast he can get to her before he notices it’s your name on the screen. He frowns. You never call while he’s on the pitch, but maybe you need to talk to Jamie about something. 

“Your prick husband’s in the middle of training. Can it wait?” he says in lieu of greeting. 

“I don’t want Jamie, I want you,” comes your panicked voice. “George is sick and I don’t know what to do, he’s all feverish and he hasn’t thrown up or anything but I googled it and it says I don’t have to take him ‘round hospital, but I’m worried anyway because you can’t give a baby chicken noodle soup but his eyes are all glassy and he’s so fucking sweaty.”

Roy looks over to where Jamie’s drilling with Dani, kicking football after football into the net. He turns back around. “Right. I’ll be there in five fucking minutes. I love you.”

“Five minutes? You’re at least fifteen away, and-”

“I love you!” Roy says again, slightly louder before hanging up. 

He makes eye contact with Nate and motions to the car park. Nate nods and Roy leaves, satisfied that Nate didn’t ask where he was going. 

He makes it to your house in six minutes, but only because he got stuck behind an old car. You open the door before he has a chance to knock with an overly fussy George in your arms. 

“I’m an awful mum,” you say immediately. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Roy. I can’t make him feel better and I tried googling it but I don’t even know where to begin with that.”

Roy takes George, who seems to calm down a little. “Right, go run a bath for him. Make sure it’s lukewarm, we’re gonna try to get his fever down without fucking freezing the poor lad. You got acetaminophen?”

You nod. “In the medicine cabinet.”

“I’ll go cut some up for him. He can have a bit since he’s four months now. Same thing used to happen to Phoebe, you remember?”

You shake your head and Roy sighs. “Of course you fucking don’t, you’re too fucking worked up to think straight, aren’t you?”

“Should I have called Jamie?” you ask, eyes wide. 

Roy adjusts his hold on George as he shakes his head. This certainly isn’t the first time he’s seen you in a panic, but it might be the fucking saddest. 

“I didn’t want Jamie, I wanted you,” you explain, more to yourself than to Roy. “You always fucking know what to do and you make shit better.”

Roy’s not going to get choked up over that, there’s no point in crying over the fact that you both have shit parents and he and Molly basically raised you. So instead he gives you a gentle push in the direction of the bath and says,  “I’ll fucking call Tartt. Don’t you worry about it.”

You caress George’s little head before hurrying up the stairs. Roy sighs and goes to find the medicine. He checks the time. The team’s on lunch, so Jamie will have his phone. He finds the contact labeled “prick in-law,” and hits the call button. 

“You shit your pants, Coach?” is the first thing Jamie says when he picks up. 

“Fuck off,” Roy replies. “I’m at your house. George isn’t feeling well, so I’m helping your wife out.”

“Shit,” Jamie swears, and Roy can hear him clamoring out of his seat.

“You don’t fucking need to come home,” Roy says before Jamie can get any farther. “They’re both fine. Finish training for fuck’s sake, and stop by the store to get some fucking immunity boosters. Can’t have you fucking getting sick before the fucking match.”

“Right,” Jamie says finally. “Yeah, okay. Tell her I love her, yeah?”

“Sure,” Roy grits out, but if he’s being honest with himself he’s glad that Jamie’s first instinct was to rush home. It’s bad enough that he and Tartt are friends, much less in-laws. He’s glad Jamie makes you happy, at least. 

They hang up and on cue, George starts crying. 

“You’re alright, lad,” Roy murmurs, but he can already hear you thundering down the stairs. 

You come careening around the corner. “What’s wrong?” you ask anxiously, but Roy just hands you the bottle of acetaminophen. 

“He’s fucking fine. Just upset. Let’s go cool him down, alright kid?” Roy says. 

“Okay,” you say. “I’m really glad you’re here, Roy-o. I don’t think Jamie would’ve known what to do either.”

“Mhm,” Roy grunts. “He said to tell you he loves you. He’s picking up fucking immunity boosters for you, but there’s no fucking way you’ll get sick. Just a precaution.”

You stand on tiptoes to peck his cheek. “My god, how would Molly and I survive without you?” you ask fervently. Roy just grunts again and once again herds you toward the stairs. 

—

An hour later, you’re on the couch with George resting on your stomach. Roy brings you a cup of tea and sits down next to you. You settle closer to him, head on his shoulder as you breathe deep. It reminds you of the rare times he’d visit before Phoebe was born, and how you’d attach yourself to his side and beg him not to go back. There was a time when you were five that he almost caved, but he was twenty and at the beginning of the peak of his career, so he wrenched his hand from your tiny one and refused to look back.

Molly had called him a day later and told him that you wouldn’t stop crying. She was fourteen and already adjusted to the fact that she’d be raising her younger sister (you) on her own.

Roy had hated himself for that. Hated his parents for being shit, but mostly himself. He sent Molly as much money as he could, going around your parents until Molly was eighteen and they fucked off to god knows where, rarely to be heard from again.

So you’ll hold on to him as much as you can even though he’s not going anywhere, not since Molly rang him in a right state, pregnant by a shit husband.

“Roy,” you say softly as not to wake George, “d’you think I’m going to fuck him up?”

Roy asks, “What?” in the gentle tone he only uses with the people he loves.

“I’m worried that I’m going to fuck him up,” you say. “I know we’ve talked about it before but I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to do everything wrong. You and Molly… you always fucking know exactly what to do. I don’t. I got pregnant on accident with your arch-nemesis-turned-best-friend-” (“he’s not my best friend,” Roy mouths) “-and I’m worried that it’s all going to go to shit.”

Roy rests his cheek on top of your head. It’s strange. He knows you’re an adult but there’s always a part of him that sees you as that five year old who was crying because her parents were never around, and her brother was leaving her again.

“It’s not going to go to shit,” he whispers. “Molls knows everything because she’s a fucking know-it-all. I don’t know fucking shit, don’t know where you got that idea. You’re a fucking amazing mum. You’d fucking do anything for George, yeah? I’m always here for you and Jamie” (god, Roy can’t believe he’s about to defend fucking Tartt) “Jamie loves you, fucking annoying as it is, and he’s not going to fuck things either.”

You still look worried, but George chooses that moment to sigh and burrow into your chest.

Roy says, “See? He doesn’t think you’re shit,” and the furrows in your brow smooth a little bit.

The lock turns in the front door and Jamie comes in with a grocery bag.

“Kid’s asleep?” he whispers. You nod and he plops the bag on the ground, coming to sit on your other side.

Jamie kisses your temple and runs a hand over George’s back.

“Mental that he was in your stomach once, ain’t it?” he comments, and Roy snorts out a laugh.

“Mental,” you agree hooking one leg around Jamie’s.

Roy asks, “The fuck are you doing here, you’re supposed to be at training,” and Jamie doesn’t even bat an eye just returns, ��Coach let us go early,” even though you know he’s lying by the way the corner of his mouth twitches.

Roy probably knows too, but only because he can smell a rat a mile away, but he doesn’t say anything. 

Jamie turns back to you. “Little lad’s doin’ alright, babe?”

“Yeah,” you say. “Roy says he’ll probably sleep for a while, and I thought we’d do takeaway for dinner.”

Jamie kisses you again and says, “You’re doing great, you know that?”

Tears begin to slide down your face and he looks to Roy in alarm. 

Roy just shakes his head. “She’s fine,” he says.

“I fucking love you,” you croak out, and Roy feels like an outsider, like he’s present for something he shouldn’t be. He moves to get up but your hand shoots out and grabs his wrist and all of the sudden he’s twenty again, watching you cry and beg him not to leave.

“Don’t go,” you plead, so he stays. He stays and has exactly one feeling about it, a feeling he would never vocalize, something about family and familiarity and maybe a little bit about coming home.

[sokkigarden]

If you’re willing to humbly accept my Jamie tartt request where the team has a board game/charades night and they set up the reader and Jamie to be partners cause they’re all sick of their flirting/pining and they obviously crush everyone cause they’re the perfect team?

this is a little bullet-point drabble bc that’s how these things usually start for me and i’d rather give y’all smth small instead of nothing! that being said this got out of hand. lmfao i hope you like this !!

it all started when phoebe came around after training one day and was so obsessed with a new game that she made the richmond boys play with her

and this quickly escalated into game nights for the whole football club

everyone brought board games, card games and booze

family members came along, the whole facility got involved

it got really competitive naturally

you usually paired off with keeley while playing bc you both worked on social media and were becoming good friends outside of work too

but this meant you often ended up playing against roy and jamie

because there was some weird dynamic between the three of them

and somehow you got looped into it too

and eventually every time you played, you would start arguing with jamie

it was never anything serious, but it did get out of hand sometimes

it wasn’t your fault! you were super competitive, and he wanted to be the best at everything 

it didn’t matter if you played monopoly or scrabble, you always ended up nearly yelling at each other

it was all in good fun, but truth be told, you really didn’t know jamie that well outside of these game nights

you crossed paths with him just about as much as the other players, getting some content for socials and discussing PR promo with them

you wouldn’t deny that you found him attractive, but you wouldn’t openly admit it either

so it was fun to mess around and mildly flirt with him with the pretense of getting competitive over board games

finally one week, you noticed keeley and roy showed up together

they were clearly interested in staying close to each other all night, which left you and jamie the odd ducks out

at first you felt betrayed. what happened to you and keeley being the dream team?

but you’d seen how they had been glancing at each other these past few weeks

you should’ve known this was inevitable

but everyone saw the way you and jamie interacted as well

so when roy and keeley showed up together, they suggested you and jamie pair up to play poker

you’d been wanting to learn how to play for weeks and colin brought fancy new poker chips

jamie was pretty okay at poker, so roy and keeley subtly suggested you two pair up to learn and play

“maybe you’ll work better together rather than against each other” they said

they were definitely conspiring to see if something would happen between you two

you both reluctantly agree

but you can’t tell if jamie is grumbling more about being your partner or because roy and keeley are back together

you ended up playing poker against bumbercatch, colin, and isaac, with jamie helping you learn the ins and outs before heading off to find drinks

he definitely got distracted on the way, chatting to others throughout the room 

once he returned with drinks for you all, he saw how badly you were losing

so he pulled up a chair next to you, and started helping you

nudging you when he noticed what the others were doing

whispering in your ear what card to play

at one point, jamie places his hand on your thigh under the table to get your attention

suggesting how to play your cards right to beat the other boys

but you can hardly focus bc his hand is big and it’s warm and still resting on your leg

and even when you end up winning the round, he leaves his hand there, squeezing your thigh for encouragement 

its not long before the boys are groaning over losing their money to you

while jamie is still helping out a lil bit, you’ve definitely improved on your own

by the end of the night you’re feeling triumphant when keeley and roy make their way over to you

and jamie’s got a proud look on his face

jamie’s a pretty touchy person, so he slings an arm around your shoulder as you all walk to a bar together

roy and keeley share a look as you guys chatter together instead of arguing over silly games

clearly they were right

as you and jamie flirt and get to know each other for the rest of the night

the arguing was definitely a pretense to something more

and you have a feeling it will be fun to find what comes next

it all started when phoebe came around after training one day and was so obsessed with a new game that she made the richmond boys play with her

and this quickly escalated into game nights for the whole football club

everyone brought board games, card games and booze

family members came along, the whole facility got involved

it got really competitive naturally

you usually paired off with keeley while playing bc you both worked on social media and were becoming good friends outside of work too

but this meant you often ended up playing against roy and jamie

because there was some weird dynamic between the three of them

and somehow you got looped into it too

and eventually every time you played, you would start arguing with jamie

it was never anything serious, but it did get out of hand sometimes

it wasn’t your fault! you were super competitive, and he wanted to be the best at everything 

it didn’t matter if you played monopoly or scrabble, you always ended up nearly yelling at each other

it was all in good fun, but truth be told, you really didn’t know jamie that well outside of these game nights

you crossed paths with him just about as much as the other players, getting some content for socials and discussing PR promo with them

you wouldn’t deny that you found him attractive, but you wouldn’t openly admit it either

so it was fun to mess around and mildly flirt with him with the pretense of getting competitive over board games

finally one week, you noticed keeley and roy showed up together

they were clearly interested in staying close to each other all night, which left you and jamie the odd ducks out

at first you felt betrayed. what happened to you and keeley being the dream team?

but you’d seen how they had been glancing at each other these past few weeks

you should’ve known this was inevitable

but everyone saw the way you and jamie interacted as well

so when roy and keeley showed up together, they suggested you and jamie pair up to play poker

you’d been wanting to learn how to play for weeks and colin brought fancy new poker chips

jamie was pretty okay at poker, so roy and keeley subtly suggested you two pair up to learn and play

“maybe you’ll work better together rather than against each other” they said

they were definitely conspiring to see if something would happen between you two

you both reluctantly agree

but you can’t tell if jamie is grumbling more about being your partner or because roy and keeley are back together

you ended up playing poker against bumbercatch, colin, and isaac, with jamie helping you learn the ins and outs before heading off to find drinks

he definitely got distracted on the way, chatting to others throughout the room 

once he returned with drinks for you all, he saw how badly you were losing

so he pulled up a chair next to you, and started helping you

nudging you when he noticed what the others were doing

whispering in your ear what card to play

at one point, jamie places his hand on your thigh under the table to get your attention

suggesting how to play your cards right to beat the other boys

but you can hardly focus bc his hand is big and it’s warm and still resting on your leg

and even when you end up winning the round, he leaves his hand there, squeezing your thigh for encouragement 

its not long before the boys are groaning over losing their money to you

while jamie is still helping out a lil bit, you’ve definitely improved on your own

by the end of the night you’re feeling triumphant when keeley and roy make their way over to you

and jamie’s got a proud look on his face

jamie’s a pretty touchy person, so he slings an arm around your shoulder as you all walk to a bar together

roy and keeley share a look as you guys chatter together instead of arguing over silly games

clearly they were right

as you and jamie flirt and get to know each other for the rest of the night

the arguing was definitely a pretense to something more

if you didn't had a crush at the beginning of the night, you definitely do now

[blue-bujo]

Bowled Over (Roy Kent x Reader): Chapter One

You work at a bowling alley and a young girl named Phoebe has a birthday party there. You catch her uncle's eye.

Roy Kent x female reader

Will try to update roughly every two weeks

Chapter One: The Other Beautiful Game

Words: 1.9K

Content: Kent-level language (you know what you're in for)

Cricket. Polo. The real football.

There were many popular sports in England, but the downfall of all of those was the fact that they were all at the mercy of the weather. That was why, in your humble opinion, the best sport in the world was bowling.

You were fully aware that the rest of the world definitely didn’t consider it a real sport, and that was fine. But to you, it was the best. No other sport could be enjoyed by 4 year olds and 94 year olds at the same time, all while having full access to a pitcher of beer and never being rained out. Nor did any other sport create friendships so instantly while in good natured competition. It certainly had for you.

You, the army brat, who had moved every year and always ended up being the new kid with the accent different from everyone else’s, had always found common ground in whatever bowling alley had been closest to base. Bowling was its own language, its own gateway into other people’s lives. When you’d finally stayed somewhere for more than two years when you were in high school, you’d made yourself a fixture at the lanes. You stayed in England for college – no, university – and worked your way through every beer league and youth camp you could. The bowling alley was your home, and you ended up staying even after your father retired from the army and returned to his hometown with your mother. Your place was here, behind the counter and coaching leagues.

It was a shallowly connected life. You had a few friends from your own league, as well as your coworkers, and some regulars that you absolutely loved, but mainly, you saw people for five minutes while they paid and figured out which size their rental shoes needed to be before they went to the lanes and you watched from a distance, telling yourself that it was fine.

One day, and especially lonely one, you were scheduled to work a children’s party. You were slightly hung over from the pitcher you’d shared at your league the night prior, and weren’t looking forward to all of the noise that children would inevitably cause. Taking a preemptive Excedrin, you pulled up your hair and braced for the worst.

The birthday child was a blonde girl who was all smiles, leading seven little friends and their adults behind them. You plastered on your best customer service smile and got through the chaos of check in, shoes, snack bar follow up, and lane assignments, then collapsed in your chair to stare into space for a while, until someone needed you.

The respite was brutally short.

You didn’t notice at first, but eventually you realized that you had somebody standing at the side of the counter. It was because of his shirt. Anywhere else, it would have stood out obnoxiously, but the red, orange, and yellow tie dye blended into the colorful walls. You turned quickly once you realized he was there.

“Sorry, I zoned out,” you blurted. “How can I help you, sir?”

The man – you recognized him from somewhere, you realized, but you couldn’t place where – startled at how quickly you acknowledged him. He had very expressive eyebrows, which shot up his forehead in surprise. He pointed at the lanes where the blonde girl’s group was bowling and grunted, “One of the little shits that my niece is friends with threw a ball right after another kid and hit the thing that pushes the pins out of the way, and now it won’t go back up. Can you fix it so their days won’t be ruined?”

You couldn’t tell if her was mad at the lane or at you; it seemed like he was angry in general, judging by the deep creases between his eyebrows. Best to take a cautious approach with him.

“I can’t fix it, but I can call the tech. Just a second.” You grabbed the intercom, but didn’t click it on. “It’s the gate on 15, yeah?”

“The what?”

“The black sweepy thing, on Lane 15?”

“Oh. Yeah.”

Quickly, you called out, “Pete, I need a gate reset on Lane 15, please” over the speakers. Then you turned back to the tie dye man.

“Cheers,” he said. “Phoebe will be happy now.”

“That’s your niece? The blonde girl?”

He nodded. “Yep, that idiot.” He smiled and waved toward Phoebe, who was trying to get his attention. “She made me this shirt. I wouldn’t have picked it, but she made it, so I wear it to all her things.”

“It’s a good look. Matches the décor here,” you teased. “I almost didn’t see you, and you were right in front of me.”

A grunt was the only response you got. Fearing you’d been rude, you cleared your throat and continued. “Well. I’ll be here for the rest of the day, if you guys need anything else. You know where to find me.”

Another grunt, and eyebrow guy was gone, leaving you to put your head on the counter in embarrassment. That was so awkward!

You stewed in your awkwardness for another half an hour; nobody else came in to distract you. Distraction didn’t come until you got a call from the snack bar, signaling that they needed you to run the pizza to Phoebe’s group. Inwardly groaning, you picked up the tray and a stack of plates, and expertly balanced them as you walked to Lane 15. Phoebe and her friends were excited to see you, and their enthusiasm evaporated some of your self-pity. These seemed to be good kids.

“Okay,” you said, putting your hands on your hips and leaning down conspiratorially, “I only have two rules for you. Rule Number One: No pizza or drinks on the approach. Rule Number Two: I don’t want to see any pizza fingers in those balls, because someone will have to clean them.” You pointed at yourself as you said “someone,” which made all the kids laugh. “And Rule Number Three-”

“You said there were only two!” interrupted a young boy. Tie dye guy glared at him.

“Well, I lied,” you shrugged. That got a laugh from everybody. “Rule Number Three: Help Phoebe have a happy birthday!”

All of the kids cheered. Satisfied, you walked over to their grown-ups. “If you guys need anything, I’m Splits.” You tapped your nametag, bearing the kitschy bowling nickname that the manager had made you pick. “I’ll be at the counter.”

Your nickname drew a few chuckles and sympathetic smiles. One of the younger adults, who you also recognized in addition Phoebe's uncle, fixed you with a flirty look.

“Do they call yah that because you can do the splits, or…?”

“No, because I leave plenty on the lanes.”

He looked like he was trying to come up with another quip, but Phoebe’s uncle elbowed him in the ribs. “Shut up, Jamie. Not everyone loves you.”

Jamie, unperturbed, elbowed him back. “Whatever, Coach. It was worth trying. Sorry, Splits.”

You realized where you had seen him before. AFC Richmond was the local football club, and the young man was none other than Jamie Tartt. And now that you had figured out who he was, you had to ask, no matter how much it pained you…

“Can I get a quick photo? The owner likes us to whenever we have a celebrity guest.”

Jamie’s chest puffed out before he looked at tie dye man; you got the feeling his coach had lectured him before about showboating. “Sure, yeah, if that’s how it’s done here.” He checked his hair and grabbed a bowling ball. “Where do you want meh?”

“Uncle Roy should be in the picture, too!” piped Phoebe, shooting her uncle a pout. “He’s more famous that Jamie!”

The man you’d talked to at the counter, who you recognized but didn’t know where from, was named Roy? And Jamie had called him “coach?” Was he Roy Kent? How had you not realized?

It had to be the tie dye. Had to be.

“Fuck no, I’m not getting in a picture with that prick.”

“Please, Uncle Roy?” pleaded Phoebe. “It is my birthday.”

A grunt. You were beginning to think that they were his primary language, in combination with swearing. Roy Kent stood up, rolled his eyes, and got next to Jamie Tartt, glowering.

You reached into your back pocket and took out your phone to check how things looked. Bowling alley lighting was never great, but it was especially bad today. Jamie popped, because of course he did, but Roy melted into the wall, his obnoxious shirt effectively camouflaging him.

Thinking quickly, you went to the racks, grabbed a bright blue bowling ball, and brought it to Roy. He just stared at it.

“And what am I supposed to do with this? Throw a fucking strike on camera?”

“No, I just need you to hold it,” you huffed. “The camera can’t see you; your shirt blends in too much. Just take this, please, and this can be over.”

Without giving him a choice, you pushed the bowling ball against his arm. He took it awkwardly, his fingers brushing yours. You thought he shrank into his shoulders after that, but it could have just been him settling the weight of the ball, so you couldn’t be sure.

You took the picture and sent it to your manager, who started freaking out and texting a sentence at a time, but you retreated back to your counter after that. The rest of the afternoon went quietly. Phoebe’s party ended, and you watched as Roy and Jamie gathered all of the kids’ rental shoes and brought them up to you to return.

Sorry for flirting with yah earlier,” said Jamie, dumping an armful of footwear. “Old habits and all that.”

“It’s no problem,” you replied.

He gave you a wink and sauntered off. Then Roy deposited all of the shoes he was carrying.

“Thanks for being cool. Phoebe enjoyed it.”

“My pleasure. Sorry for the picture.”

“It happens. People are weird about fame.”

“Sorry all the same. Hopefully it wasn’t too awkward.”

Roy Kent wouldn’t look at you, and instead focused on a spot on the counter. Then he gave a last grunt and walked away, sticking out a hand to hold Phoebe’s. You watched them leave before grabbing a bottle of disinfectant to spray down the shoes. As you did, you mused that, for being a football manager and a player before that, Roy Kent was really awkward when it came to being recognized.

The sound of running feet tore your attention away from your thoughts. You looked up, ready to shout at some kids for horseplay, but it was Phoebe, running back to the lanes and grabbing a jumper that she had left. Then she jogged back to the desk, stopping on the way out.

“I had a really fun time,” she said.

“I’m glad,” you replied warmly. “I hope to see you come back.”

Phoebe smiled. “I think I will. I overheard Uncle Roy telling Jamie that he shouldn’t call strangers ‘fit,’ even if they are, and I think they were talking about you. Bye!”

She pranced off to rejoin her uncle where he was waiting for her at the exit, taking his hand once more. You could see them talking, and something she said made him look up abashedly at you. He held your gaze for just a moment, then threw Phoebe over his shoulder and stomped away. You had the rest of the night to ponder the fact that Jamie Tartt and maybe Roy Kent had considered you attractive. It made up for the awkwardness of the photo. Almost.

[caslutz]

Roy Kent Head Cannons (Part One)

for everyone that told me to be a roy blog, i can’t hold it in any longer, here they are

- was raised by a single father until he was 9 and scouted. his grandfather was so involved because his father was always busy working to keep the lights on for him and his sister (he was also pretty distant)

- a gay king, however he had always entertained the idea he was bisexual and didn’t think more of it. it was only after his break up with keeley that he got to thinking about deeper root of the problem with her. when he starts getting closer to jamie it clicks for him.

- he is actually blind without glasses. he wore contacts his whole career but after he retired he just didn’t want to anymore, but he doesn’t wear his glasses unless he’s at home because he’s stubborn (and maybe a little embarrassed) so at work all he sees is just little blobs on the field and he has to guess who is who (spoiler, he’s not good at it so he just addresses them as “that fuck” and points)

- bonus points: jamie makes roy wear his glasses at home because one, he thinks he should be able to see, and two, he thinks they’re super hot (they are)

- i could make a whole separate post for this, but neurodivergent roy!! roy goes undiagnosed his whole childhood and adult life until he starts to talk to dr. sharon and she picks up on some things. most notably his inability to read others emotions (including his own), his anxiety, and his strong attachment such as his career (and football in general) and jamie tartt.

- roy kent is a swiftie. guys i’m sorry i’ve seen stuff saying he hates music and only listens to EDM, but like come on. roy didn’t even know who she was until phoebe started listening to her, and the same thing with frozen, he now knows all the words and will mouth them, and even enjoys her music. however, this is a secret he will take with him to the grave. when jamie and phoebe want to go to her concert he fights tooth and nail but he’s already bought tickets before they even asked.

okay so these are only head cannons and they are my opinions, sorry if you don’t agree lol. if you do agree i would love to hear what you think, or even more ideas! ask box is open! i also might elaborate on these too idk…

this is probably only part one because i definitely have more that im holding back!!

[lokiiied]

“roy hurry up it’s starting!” “alright, let’s fucking do this!”

*shuffles over to the living room to sit on the floor and watch the reality sex show starring ur pretty prick arch nemesis with your old lady friends who don’t know who you are and who’ve taken you to brunch at g-a-y and yeah they definitely think y-o-u are. is that why you’re actually wearing colour?? those rainbow poodle socks that phoebe def got you for your birthday. why you love hanging out with them so much, not just cuz they don’t happen to know who you are but they do have a notion of what you are. and they love you. and that is so freeing. you don’t have this hyper masculine persona to uphold and you can get drunk off rosé and when they all swoon over jamie tartt, they don’t know your history. you don’t have to say how much you supposedly hate him. hell, you could even agree with them if you wanted. and that’s what scares you. just how fucking comfortable you are with this group of women who have claimed you as their gay cheerleader. how being with them is the freest you could possibly be. anonymity and acceptance. because as our other queer characters know well, being queer and being professional footballers are two different lives. and suddenly your rosé needs topped up please, janice?

[ofstarsandvibranium]

For you headcannons/imagines,

Roy is 100% the super involved dad like, your baby bump is real heavy? Roy will come up from behind to hold it for you. Baby wakes up in the middle of the bright? Roy’s got it. You gotta work? No problem, Roy will take the baby into work with him and wear them in a sling while he coaches. Kid’s team needs a football coach? If anyone but Roy is asked, he’ll 100% be offended because of course he’s gonna be the coach

I’m so soft for soft/domestic Roy🥹🥲

He definitely is that type of parent that will go above and beyond for his kid. He wants to ensure your kids are so loved and cared for, theyd never doubt Roy or ever believe he's a terrible parent. 100% Roy would be a fantastic parent, i mean, he's had good practice with Phoebe.

[babytarttdoodoo]

This isn't a fic request (though I am looking forward to a lot you've got on your pending list!!) but you write Roy x Jamie so nicely as an established couple. Would love to know your thoughts on how they get together and how that relationship works?

Oh, gosh, well, thank you for asking! This all may well make it into a longer fic one day but in the meantime have my disjointed ramblings.

Firstly, I do think it would be a decent amount of time after canon before they got around to it. Like, a year at least.

Roy is taking steps to work on himself (namely, he has to deal with his temper and communication before they would ever be able to work) and needs space to work through that. Jamie is also experiencing probably the most stable period of his life he's ever had and deserves time to enjoy it.

If we think that Colin and Michael's kiss didn't cause an absolute riot in-universe, I could see Jamie coming out as bi (even if only to take the heat off Colin) and dating a few men publicly. We love a sexy little king getting to safely explore his sexuality with a rabidly invested support network around him. This could also be what triggers Roy to start thinking about him in that way.

Might be controversial but I don't think either he or Roy would have a lot of experience being involved with other men from pre-canon. Between football culture and the potential risk to their careers, women were just an easier option. I do, however, believe Roy knows he's attracted to men (20 years in locker rooms pls), but is just repressed enough to have never seriously considered that his fixation on Jamie might be romantic or sexual in nature.

Realising he feels jealous is a genuine surprise. It's probably still a while before he does anything about it.

Honestly torn between ' a heat of the moment kiss followed by lots of Talking' or 'Roy invites Jamie to dinner and A Very Mature Conversation'. Either way, they definitely need to talk extensively before anything happens.

Roy is Jamie's manager. Yes, I know there are instances of it happening in the women's game and being fine. A relationship between two very famous male sports personalities would, unfortunately, be a whole different kettle of fish.

Therefore they agree to:

Go slow and feel out if this could even work before getting too deep.

Having a few confidantes in the know (Keeley, Georgie, Rebecca, maybe Beard) so they're not in a closed loop of secrecy with each other.

Keeping professional decisions out of it as much as possible.

That last one is contentious because so much of who they are individually and to each other is tied up in football. When they do, in fact, think they can have a serious relationship, it becomes apparent very quickly that they also have to tell the team. One, because it will keep them accountable; two, because the number of times they're nearly caught fooling around is genuinely ridiculous.

Roy smiles at Jamie a lot. It's a bone-chilling sight without context.

Jamie will move to another team eventually. It's what makes sense for his development and career path. I have more thoughts on that trajectory but for this I'll just say that, when he starts getting offers, he does consider that it might make keeping his work and personal lives separate a lot easier.

There are a lot of good times. They understand each other extremely well. They push each other towards self-improvement across the board. Jamie is wonderful with Phoebe. Roy and Simon develop a baked goods based bromance.

There are some tough times. Their careers takes them all over the country and beyond. Distance strains them. They both internalise a lot of negative feelings for fear of ruining what they do have.

(They each think the other deserves better. They are idiots.)

But talking to each other always gets them over the hurdles. Loving each other always brings them back together.

Once Jamie steps back from playing, falling back on modelling and charity work with underprivileged kids, they finally, quietly, go public.

The wedding is beautiful.

[reinvent-and-believe]

do you think roy always knew he was into men or was he repressed until he realized he was into jamie?

oh anon. i started to answer this, then got inspired and started writing a fic in answer to it instead, then the fic turned into a bigger fic that's going to take me months to finish so i think it's best if i just answer the question. 😅

so thanks for asking, anon, i DO have some thoughts!!!! they are scattered and messy but i'll give it a go.

i don't know that roy has always known he's into men, but i think he's known quite a while. maybe not when he was younger - he might have known in the back of his mind that he liked boys, but he knew he wasn't gay because he definitely liked women, so that's that, no need to think about it past that, it's squared away. even if intellectually he knew about the existence of bisexual people growing up, he wouldn't have considered it an option for himself (and to be honest, i don't think it's a given that he did know it was really a thing. it was the 90s. bisexuality wasn't widely talked about. if you liked men, you were gay, and roy wasn't gay).

roy was born in 1982; he was in the academy and going through puberty and trying to figure out who he was in the 90s. things were not great for us in the 80s and 90s. i'm 8 years younger than roy kent would be, and the way i learned about the existence of gay people was aids and the rhetoric surrounding aids. and that was formative for me; it provided the only frame of reference i had as a kid of what gay people were. that was how i internalized that my queerness—the queerness i couldn't even articulate or understand—made me sick, dangerous, unclean. obviously that's not a universal experience, but it's also not a particularly uncommon one for our generation, and it takes a shit ton of work to unlearn. it would have been worse at roy's age, and i can see it being something that would shape his perception of what it means to be a queer man.

listening to roy talk about himself is fucking devastating and so telling. "sometimes i get concerned that i've been infecting you with the worst parts of me," he tells phoebe. infecting is a pretty loaded word, and it speaks to the deeply rooted shame that roy carries at the very core of his identity. we see over and over throughout the show that there's something about roy that he seems to truly believe is...rotten, repulsive. unlovable, maybe. a lot of people read roy as completely lacking self-awareness, and i get where that comes from, but i don't really read him that way. i think roy's sometimes plagued with self-awareness when he doesn't want to look, and he loathes the things he sees. he knows how he is. he knows the parts he hates about himself. and i think his queerness plays right into that.

ted lasso is, among other things, a show about masculinity, and roy's character arc throughout the show is, among other things, an arc about masculinity, so i think it only makes sense that his sexuality is tied up in that. because in his world, what could be more fundamental to your masculinity than heterosexuality? there's a shit ton of homophobia in football, and it certainly wouldn't have been any better during roy's formative years.

there's a lot you could say about La Locker Room Aux Folles and roy kent's sexuality, and i won't because this is already stupid long, but seriously, have you watched 3x09 while considering that the episode is about roy's repression as much as it is colin's? that it might be colin's coming out episode, but it's roy that functions as the episode's protagonist? that the message colin understands at the end when george hearn croons "i am what i am" is one roy can't let himself embrace by the end of the episode, not even by the end of the season ("i'm still...me"/"wait, did you want to be someone else?"/"yeah. someone better")? that colin may have escaped la cage by the end of the episode but roy's still in there?

the last thing that roy kent wants is to be what he is, and that kind of fundamental, foundational shame reads as very queer to me, feels very queer to me.

so, anyway, i do headcanon that roy sleeps with guys sometimes, at least by the time he gets to chelsea. i don't think it's particularly frequent and i don't think it's particularly healthy and i don't think he lets himself develop anything like a genuine connection, but i think it's what he's allowed himself. i think that's basically where he starts the show, occasionally sleeping with men, refusing to acknowledge it says anything about him. (i could also see him not having fucked a guy, although i like that less. regardless, i do think he recognizes he's attracted to men, even if he doesn't necessarily accept it.)

i definitely think that, when they finally get together, jamie would be his first boyfriend.

anyway, dear anon, you didn't ask for a 1000-word response to your 20-word question, but thank you for coming to my ridiculously rambling and likely incoherent TED talk about roy kent's internalized homophobia 😂

[svd126]

So when Roy is coaching phoebes football team and the speech he gives the girls after they lose a match. He’s in the locker room it’s his first match as Richmond manager. Even though they win, he recycles the speech because he doesn’t know what to say. if you play like that, next week, you can kiss the trophy goodbye because today you all play like a bunch of little pricks. Except for you Isaac their is a reason I made you captain. Turns to Isaac who has a ice pack on his head. Now go see will he has your orange slices.( Jamie and Roy definitely made individual bags of orange slice for the team the night before,because Roy definitely got into the habit of making team snack for Phoebe team)

[lunar-years]

thinkin bout ruth osullivan. . .how when she got married she was probably a little glad to change her name, bc it was probably around the time roy was at the height of his fame, and as much as she loves him it probably wasn't easy being a celebrity's sister. how roy *kent* being famous probably made her being a kent feel complicated, and changing it was probably a little bit of a relief, bc it would give her a fresh start and a chance to make her own destiny. how when she got divorced, all of those complicated feelings about being a kent were still there, and even if she wanted to go back, phoebe was an o'sullivan. just having a lot of feels about a character we saw one and a half times and whose first name we still dont know lol

I'm still super salty they didn't give that woman a first name when the most minor characters got names (even if only in the credits). Matthijs' daughter has a name, Nate's sister has a name, but Dr. O'Sullivan doesn't get a first name??? Ludicrous!

Anyway I do think it's interesting that she kept her married surname!! I wonder how many people would have made the connection about her and Roy, even had she kept Kent; it feels like a fairly common last name to me where most people wouldn't have thought twice. But I do wonder if she had the perception, when she was still a Kent, that she was always being compared to Roy or put into a spotlight she didn't want. Regardless I think she definitely kept the last name because she wants to share her daughter's surname and she didn't want Phoebe's last name to be Kent.

We have so few details on it, but I'm also curious about how adamant Roy is about protecting Phoebe from the press and spotlight etc. I would say very, and I think the fact that Dr. o'sullivan and Phoebe never attend his games and the team doesn't really seem to know anything about them supports it. But we also know Roy watches her a lot and goes around shopping with her and hanging out with her around Richmond and London, and I kind of find it hard to believe that all that is happening without it getting papped (or if there's rules about children in british media, at least stalker phone pics from fans posted to social media). I imagine "who is this mysterious child with famous footballer roy kent" would've made headlines at some point??? idk

As an aside I remember there was a long discussion in discord when the episode aired with her about whether she and Roy might be half-siblings and O'Sullivan is therefore her maiden name. Apparently in Britain it's unusual that her professional, doctoral name would be her married name with the timeline of when she would have gotten her degree etc. None of that really jives with my own headcanons about them so I personally ignore those details but you know, something to think about as an option if it appeals to anyone!

[onceuponaoneshotfanfic]

I’m torn on if Roy would have kids but if he did I feel like he’d be a girl dad. What do you think?

I don't think he'd know how he feels about having kids until he finds out there's a baby on the way. Like he didn't try to get you pregnant, but he also wasn't opposed to it.

Once you tell him you're pregnant though, he's 10000% onboard. Super protective, doting, making sure you don't have to lift a finger for those nine months (and once the baby arrives and you're recovering too!).

He'd definitely be hoping for a girl, because he doesn't know what the fuck to do with a boy, whereas he's had lots of practice with Phoebe (who's beyond excited for her little cousin!). He buys tons of little Richmond onesies and little kits for her to grow into, and he's already got plans to coach her football team when she's big enough.

He's scared as hell to be a dad, because he doesn't think he'll be very good. But he's definitely the best dad in the world 💙

[chainofclovers]

🎉, 👀, 🧠 for Roy and Rebecca (separately or together 🤠) for the fic ask!

👀 Tell me about an up and coming wip please!

This weekend I was beset by an intense desire to write a story from the POV of Ted's mom before we receive any new canonical information about Ted in s3. For now I'll just say that Ted's mom comes to London and meets a lot of people and gets to see some new sides of her son through observing him with the people who know him well. All I've got so far is a few paragraphs and a very rough outline, but I'm really hoping this is going to work. I can already feel that I'm going to have one of those experiences where I am thinking about every word and questioning everything I know about all the established characters because making up a character we haven't seen before and having her central is SCARY. But it's one thing I haven't really done in the context of writing about Ted's family (I've killed Ted's mom, written about her being homophobic and judgmental and a side character, and written her totally off-screen being a cool person, but I haven't really focused on her and written something about who I'd most want her to be), so I wanna make it happen and soon!

🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

That is a great question! I don't really know how to put my finger on it; sometimes I just feel like the way I paced something and articulated something captured a very minute little detail in the way I wanted. That's part of it. And I guess the other part is when someone points out that same line or moment in the comments? Like that would be a super-success, haha.

I definitely feel like my fics vary a lot in terms of how successful I consider them, but if it's truly unsuccessful I just abandon it and it never gets posted. I kind of wish I understood myself more on this, but it's probably good that I don't.

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

OK I'm gonna be extra about this and give you headcanons for them as individuals regardless of relationship status, them in a monogamous relationship with each other, and them within the context of the love square. :)

This got really long so I'm throwing it behind a cut.

I am completely obsessed (in any and all relationship/household contexts for Roy) with the idea of Roy basically starting to share custody of Phoebe with his sister. My feeling is that Rachel (a favorite headcanon about Roy's sister is that her name is Rachel, lol) is a great mom, but she's had to make a lot of sacrifices for her success at work, and single parenting full-time just isn't going to be what is best for her or for Phoebe. I feel like I've written about this a decent amount; there's something that really appeals to me about a "non-traditional" (within a certain cultural context) child-rearing arrangement that comes about without necessarily having to be centered around dysfunction. (Not that stories about dysfunction aren't important to tell too!) I feel sooooo many emotions about Roy having been this person who couldn't really conceive of life after playing football, and how intense it is in s1 to see him spending time with Phoebe as his career is ending, and for her affirmations of him to be one of the thing that helps him break through to believing he's got other things of value to offer the world even if it takes him a long time to get there. I think the amount of Roy and Phoebe we get in canon is perfect, but I would like to read and write one million words of fic about the family commitment that leads to Roy thriving as a caregiver.

I think about kebab church constantly.

I feel like my biggest headcanon obsession for Rebecca is just around kind of putting together everything we know about what she values and imagining what it would be like for her to be truly intimate with other people and honest with herself about what she wants? We see it in glimpses so far—such as in the alley with Ted when she's too focused on taking care of him to feel self-conscious about her kindness, and her conversations with Keeley in 1x9, when she and Roy talk about parenting (in the form of uncle-ing and godmother-ing), and in maybe a flash or two of her moments with Sam—but it's almost always complicated for her shortly after the moment when she gives of herself. We also rarely see her alone and unfiltered. I think that's part of why the moment when she's trying to find Ted and picks up his jacket in the locker room HITS SO HARD in the perfect way. It's so rare that her face is just doing something entirely on its own, with the emotion is shining out, unencumbered by any regulation. So yeah, it's really enjoyable for me to conceive of a future version of Rebecca who can laugh about sex and share of herself without immediately correcting it and live longer in those sustained moments of sharing. Because those moments are so good when they happen and I feel like Hannah Waddingham has revealed the perfect amount about Rebecca so far through her amazing control over her beautiful face!

With Rebecca and Roy together, I think my favorite headcanon I've had for them in the past might be thinking about Rebecca adopting a cat and Roy feeling hesitant to let the cat into his heart because a) pets die and b) it would mean making this thing with Rebecca more of a forever-thing because he can't just co-parent a cat without taking the commitment seriously.

Even though I enjoy it when others write it, I'm not that compelled by the thought of writing pre-canon Rebecca/Roy. I'm too enamored by the idea of Ted and Rebecca both having sex for the first time post-marriage on the same night! But it's a fun thing to explore. I'm just more likely to want to write them establishing a relationship in the present day...

...like with the love square! Some stuff about them in that context that I either write about a lot or assume is true without writing about it much: When they're staying in the same house, they really value going to bed at the same time. They're the most likely to want to just shut the TV off and turn in. They're very sexually compatible and have a lot of sex on their own. They've been observing each other for years, so now that they're in a relationship they will always advocate for the other's happiness. Rebecca is good at helping Roy translate Keeley and Ted's emotions, although she has to make sure she's not translating in a way that bypasses him needing to have his own conversations. Roy is good at helping Rebecca slow down and connect with what is important. They're both good at being quiet together, but they talk a bit more than you might initially think.

From fanfic writer emoji ask.

[andr0medafallen]

Neighbor AU and Accidental Eavesdropping with the one and only Roy Motherfucking Kent? <3

(and also maybe I’m writing a little drabble for him because you’ve convinced me hehehe)

yayayayayayay

Also, I'm also going with the version where Roy and Keeley are really good friends.

~~~

You don't mean to eavesdrop, you just sort of... do it. All the time.

Maybe it started with your college roommate who would say mean things about you in the living room, maybe it started long before that.

Point is, you really don't try to do it, but when you're in bed reading or browsing Wikipedia, your ears are always sort of...on.

Which brings you to today. You're in your backyard, pruning the roses that you're sister had planted for you because "If you're going to live in such a posh area, you've got to at least pretend to be a little bit posh." She'd planted a row along your western fence before getting bored of the project.

You were just thinking, under the sun's warm rays; Your headphones had run out of batteries, so there wasn't much else you could do as you snipped away at broken branches. That is, until you heard the sliding glass of your neighbor's door, and his raspy voice following. You'd seen him before. He'd always say hi to you when you ran into each other while taking out the rubbish or going to grab the mail, but you'd never really struck up a conversation with him. He was so... large and intimidating, that even though he seemed like a perfectly nice man and his niece was the absolute sweetest, you'd never been able to force yourself to strike up an actual conversation with the man.

Phoebe you'd chatted with, though. Just about every time she visited her uncle's place, a football got kicked into your yard. You had a hunch she did it on purpose because you'd always give her cookies when she came to fetch it, but you didn't mind. She'd tell you stories about him, too. "Uncle Roy", the famous footballer who read her A Wrinkle in Time when she had trouble sleeping.

God, you needed to get a life. He probably had a real life, one that didn't involve fantasizing about his neighbor who he hardly ever spoke to.

You startled out of your gardening haze when you heard your name.

"I know it's a pretty name, that's not the fucking point," you heard the raspy South Londoner's voice speaking to what was probably a phone, and the tap of shoes pacing. "No, Keeley, that's the fucking problem, innit? Anytime I almost say something other than hello, I hit the self destruct button. --What does this have to do with Calvin and Hobbes?"

The thing about eavesdropping, is that it works really well until it doesn't. Because sometimes you accidentally drop your gardening shears onto your face and exclaim "Fuck!" definitely loud enough for your hot neighbor to hear.

"...Keeley, I'll call you back."

[jvstheworld]

My Ted Lasso Re-watch: S1E10 (part 3)

The Hope That Kills You

Roy answers the door to Jamie when he comes over to see Keeley and he is wearing fried egg socks. Who wants to bet that Phoebe or his sister bought him those?

Does Jamie not always get when someone is being sarcastic? Because Roy is being clearly sarcastic about making scones, but Jamie misses it. Is there something further to it?

Keeley being the diplomat, pours the coffee Jamie got her into the mug of coffee Roy made her. You know, the more I watch this show the more I agree with them being a throuple.

Roy and Jamie are children. No further comment.

Roy is definitely out to get Jamie, and he will get him later. At the cost of fucking up his knee though. But Ted genuinely likes Jamie, he didn't want him to go back to Man City. But he takes the blame for it to protect Rebecca. Because let's face it, after all the shit Rebecca has had to deal with, with regards to the press, it would just be another shitty thing on top of other shitty things. Rupert fucked up her life and the press revel in it. If they found out it was her that sent Jamie back to Man City, they would have a fucking field day and drag her through the mud. But if it's Ted that did it, then they can just chalk it up to him being an idiot and not knowing how to do his job. Ted, by continuing to take the blame, is protecting Rebecca from further ridicule by the press. Because if that got out, the so do the rest of her revenge plans, and neither her or Ted want that.

Roy knows that Keeley values honesty, so he tell the truth, even if it makes him look evil.

Mushy peas are exactly what they sound like, and personally I think they are gross. But at least Roy can take an insult and turn it into a cute joke with Keeley.

If anyone is interested, the peanut butter Ted is eating is Tesco smooth peanut butter. The label has changed slightly since the episode was released, but not a lot.... I was curious, don't ask why.

Ted in a blue Kansas City shirt (this man's whole personality is just Kansas, isn't it?) but the gray sweatpants are back. Plus the messy hair... He looks so cosy and cuddly. Too bad I wouldn't be able to go near him... Damn you nut allergy.

Ted recognising that kids will not listen to stuff you say. The robot Henry drew is pretty cool, so worth it.

The commentators said the episode title.

Keeley only started caring about football because of Roy. They should have stayed together.

Rebecca showing how much she cares for the team by being decked out in Richmond gear.

Give Paul the damn hug. He is a sweetheart and deserves it.

Rupert can rot in hell.

The whole Higgins clan out for the match. And the fact the the priest of the family was born out of wedlock is a fun fact of the Higgins's.

Roy chose Isaac to be the new captain. Was that because of the chair smashing the TV? Because yeah, Isaac, given the chance can be a natural leader, but did the TV thing seal the deal?