#Regardless of if you were born afab and are a girl 100% or if you were born afab and are someone else

[lionblaze03-2]

sometimes I think about writing and singing music not because I’m an incredible singer but because no one has my fucking voice, especially in popular music, and its disheartening to be born a girl, told you’ll only get girl roles or try to voice match other girls, or ‘sing with the girls’ and then only be able to match male voices because you’re a fuckin tenor and not anything higher. I can’t think of any girl Broadway roles I can hit all the notes on. Most songs I love I have to pitch down for myself or use falsetto for singing along to. It bothers me a lot less now because I’m an adult who’s more secure in myself but as a teen in kids musical theatre it FUCKED with me, BAD style. And I know for a fact that even now when I hear people with a voice like mine singing I get excited and immediately invested in their work because they’re like ME, finally, for once. A brother in this world of being afab and having the voice of a recently pubescent boy forever. Maybe I should be that brother too.

[fishyboyfriends]

Ren's (He/They) Gender Dump!

I thought I could use this small opportunity to introduce my own experience in my gender more closely, as I’ve only lightly mentioned that I’m Nonbinary and hinted I am Transmasc, but I bet some people are more interested in that. So, I decided to make this post as a Nonbinary person!

Genderflux

I wouldn’t say my gender fluctuates, it’s just that my awareness of my gender isn’t quite always 100%, so I use this term to describe this experience!

Demiguy

Aeremin and Aeregender

Additionally to that: Transmasc and Mascgender

I also use this as a part of my gender identity, knowing I’m Masculine aligned on the Gender spectrum, but not exactly where, and if it’s only masculine Aligned, and not affected by other genders. The term 'Demiboy' makes me uncomfortable, so instead I use Demiguy, which is the same identity, but worded differently! :) no offense to people feeling 100% okay with labeling the,selves as a Demiboy.

Orientation Gender and Bond Fluid

I noticed that my Gender often Is fluid depending on who I’m currently crushing on. Often, when I see a very attractive girl, I imagine myself more feminine, but when it’s a boy I imagine myself way more masculine. Like- it makes me seem like I want to always pass as a same-sex couple. Could be related to past relationships with straight people and now I feel uncomfortable presenting as the opposite gender with the partner I’m currently with.

My orientation labels

Opalian

Very swag label. It stands for NBLM, MLM, NBLNB and MLNB. I use it as a descriptor as a Questioning person, and to describe my relationship with my boyfriend.

Bisexual

The Bi community always accepted Nonbinary people, and it has always included the attraction to people regardless of gender <3 I’m proud to call myself bisexual.

Terminology:

AFAB/AGAB/AMAB

AGAB stands for Assigned Gender At Birth. This means what sex you were registered as at birth. AFAB stands for Assigned Female At Birth, and AMAB for assigned Male at birth.

FTN and FTM

FTN stands for Female to Nonbinary. FTM stands for Female to Male. It is often a medical term describing Transsexuals or people who plan to transition, it can also just mean what you were born as, and what you transition to. In that case, it describes an AFAB transgender/Nonbinary person. For AMAB transgender and Nonbinary people, it would be MTF/MTN

Transmasculine

Transmasculine, or transmasc, is a term used to describe a transgender person who typically was assigned female at birth (AFAB) but identifies fully or partially as a masculine gender. It can be considered umbrella term for people who were assigned a non-masculine identity as birth, but transitioned to a masculine identity.

[tussive]

I have a lot of thoughts on this subject and some of them are touchy and I know many of my followers are trans.  I've never really spoken about most of this publicly, but I was just discussing this type of thing with @fresholivesfromtheolivebar and I thought having a place to organize my thoughts and get them out in a hopefully not too rambly/weird and mostly cohesive post.

I used to identify agender/non-binary for a period of time.  I've never identified as "male."  I don't understand men.  I don't get men.  They talk to me and it's like their way of thinking is completely foreign to me.  That isn't to say I'm not male.  I am very much male.  I was raised male.  I am seen as male.  I have been conditioned as  a male (possibly a faggy male lol) my entire life, including now, and that undoubtably affects how I perceive life and shapes my personality.  I've always mostly had women as friends, male friends generally I lost interest in talking to quickly, and I don't typically udnerstand their line of thinking/reasoning to begin with.

That's Colette quote sums it up really well for me.  "“I have nothing to say to men and never had.  Judging from the little time I’ve spent with them, their usual conversation is sickening.  Besides, they bore me.  I believe,” he hesitated, then concluded, “I believe I don’t understand men.”"

I have several male internet friends, but none who I'm especially close to.  We all go months without talking sometimes, but I do enjoy speaking  with them over shared interests.  William is the exception, but we have discussed these things at lengths and he feels almost (or maybe entirely) the same way as I do.  He doesn't really consider himsself "male" either.

I didn't like agender or non-binary or genderfluid or any of that, because I feel like they carry their own impressions that I didn't feel fit me.  When I was younger, I experienced a great deal of gender dysphoria.  I wanted to be born a girl.  Probably because I always got along better with the other girls school.  I spent a lot of time with my grandmother and her female friends.  My step-grandfather was in my life heavily and I loved him dearly, but I never connected with him on the same level I did with my grandmother.

I thought I may be trans when I was younger.  I looked into things, explored options, spoke with trans women and many of them were very pushy about transitioning.  I was under 18 at the time and one person actually threatened me with calling CPS, lying and saying I was abused, so I could go live with another family and could "be who I really was."

That experience put me off becoming trans a lot, if I'm being totally honest.  But also around that time I was questioning gender roles to to begin with.  Why are certain traits, behaviors and interests considered "female" and others are considered "male."  It didn't make sense to me.  So I just said fuck you to gender roles and started doing whatever I wanted and my gender dysphoria went away.  I still have aspects of my body I don't like and wish were different, but I think that's literally every human.  Mine may be based around my sex to a degree and wishing I looked more feminine, but the core of the problem is the same.

I went by  non-binary/agender for a while, but I didn't really love those because I felt like they came with their own implications, so I stil just called myself a male and would say like "male, kind of" or something when someone asked lol.  I generally say I'm straight, but I do find males to be sexually attractive, but I've never met a man who I was able to connect with emotionally on any level even close to resembling romantic attraction.  William is my only close male friend and I love him like a brother, not someone I want to put my dick into.  I know going by like "newer" more specific terms, I'd probably be like "agender/non-binary demisexual heteroromantic."  But I just feel like that is dumb.  I don't think a label needs to perfectly describe you, just give people a rough idea, personally.    

And like, I love trans people.  Let me say here, I do not view any issue with trans people and if they feel transitioning is their best shot at happiness, they should go that.  I am 100% believe in full bodily autonomy, you should be allowed to do anything with it that doesn't hurt someone.  I do think a minority of people have taken things with it too far and have started trying to "cancel" anyone who doesn't perfectly all in line with their idealogy, but the majority of trans people I've meant online and in person are not that, they just want to be happy in their own body.

That being sad, I do think a lot of "TERF" arguments are valid.  I think having spaces specifically for AFAB people is a good thing.  Being born male or female and raised and conditioned that way within a society WILL affect who you are as an adult, even if you were trans then and just didn't really realize it yet.  I like the "3rd gender neutral" bathroom idea, but I think it should go a step further.  Eliminate all multi stall bathrooms.  Every bathroom should be a single bathroom that anyone can use, regardless of sex or gender identity.

That all said, I view trans women as women.  And the above points aren't really fair to them,* I agree totally.  Like that is genuinely so shitty and my heart breaks for trans people who suffer through as much as they do.  It's not fair that it happens.  (Unfortunately a lot of things aren't fair.  Which doesn't mean "SUCK IT UP PUMPKIN" it just means shit is going to suck a lot and learning to roll with it is the best way to have any kind of peace of mind imo.  But I fully empathize.  I am no familiar with gender dysphoria.  And I still wish I was born female.

I just don't think transitioning is right for me because there's NOTHING that stops me from doing whatever I wanna do, wearing whatever I wanna wear, talking how I want to talk, etc as a male that I wouldn't be able to do.  So it doesn't matter all that much.  If other people want to transition, I fully support them and I think it should be easier for people to do so.

I love trans people, not to pull the "I even have some [x] friends!" card but basically every person I talk to regularly is a woman or trans/nb/queen/etc.  I do what I can to support them whenever I can.

I know some of what I said here probably comes across TERF-y, or whatever the male equivalent of that would be.  I don't claim that term, but I've been called it by random trans people online like hundreds of times.

If you feel like I'm a TERF or hate trans people or don't respect you or what you go through, by all means block/unfollow/message me to d iscuss it further.  If you unfollow, I get it, you won't offend me or anything.  Most of this is just me working out/posting my gender identity again because I feel good about it now really.  The trans stuff is just like there to try to add context of why I don't call myself trans.

(Kinda sidenote: honestly I've been calling myself "queer" more and more.  It's vague and doesn't give any specific impression other than "not cis opposite attracted person" and I think that's a good way to describe myself lol.)

Sorry this is long, sorry if this is confusing, I didn't proofread at all and sorry if this upsets you.  I'm happy to talk with you if you are upset about anything or if you just want nothing to do with someone like me, that's totally fine!

Anyway, if you read all of this, I tank you.  I know it's way too long but I just had some thoughts and feelings I felt relevant to things today and wanted to get  them out.

Love you. <3 Marcus

[ask-pride-color-schemes]

Hello! I have a question for you. Ok, so I was born of the female sex and when people ask I just tell them I'm a girl. However I tend to get uncomfortable with being called a girl? Like when my mother refers to me as her daughter it feels weird? I know I'm not trans because being called a boy gets me uncomfortable as well. And at times I tend to feel more masculine then others and vice versa, but the pronouns just put me off :/ What are some possible genders that I could be? Thank you so much! !

Well... to put it bluntly, you still can be most nonbinary genders.

And you don’t need to be binary (or even transmasculine) to be trans.

Some common nonbinary identities that don’t have to do with either binary gender, and that also don’t have anything to do with masculinity or femininity (at least by default):

Agender: “A nonbinary gender identity. People who are agender feel that they lack a gender/have no gender, or that there is not a gender that fits them.While this is a distinct identity from neutrois, the two are sometimes used interchangeably by agender/neutrois people, so the definition for neutrois may also apply to some agender people.“

Neutrois: “A gender identity that feels neutral, null, or genderless. Sometimes used interchangeably with agender, as the two definitions overlap.“

Maverique: “Maverique is a gender characterized by autonomy and inner conviction regarding a sense of self that is entirely independent of male/masculinity, female/femininity or anything which derives from the two while still being neither without gender nor of a neutral gender.”

Quoigender: “Similar to quoi- as an orientation, this term describes someone who feels that the concept of having a gender does not apply or does not make sense for them.”

Stargender: “An otherworldly gender that is beyond comprehension in earthly terms, as if it originated from beyond the earth. OR a gender that cannot be defined no matter how many other terms are coined OR simply the gender of a star.”

Stellarian: “With as many possible identities and presentations as there are stars in the sky, a Stellar Nonbinary Person, or Stellarian, would be someone who does not experience strong alignment with either binary gender, or who rejects such alignment.”

(Note: stellarian is usually just used as in a gender alignment, that is, something that isn’t exactly a gender but that can be used to describe your gender or how you feel about it. However, you can just identify as a nonbinary stellarian, or as a genderqueer stellarian, just like how you can be a stellarian agender person or a stellarian genderfluid person.)

Transneutral: A term used to describe transgender people who were assigned male or female at birth, but identify with neutral gendered feelings to a greater extent than with femininity or masculinity. They usually are nonbinary but could be trans men or trans women.

(Note: transneutral is also used more as an alignment kind of thing; you can be transneutral and agender, transneutral and maverique, transneutral and androgyne, transneutral and a demigirl and so on.)

Cassgender: “A gender identity where one feels that their gender is unimportant or is indifferent to the idea of gender.”

(Note: yes, cassgender people may feel bad about being mistaken for other genders or about being referred to with certain pronouns; the indifference is mostly about the gender itself.)

Now, this next list has some other genders that you could look into, which I’m presenting to you either because:

1) You may feel some connection with girlhood, but aren’t a binary girl and don’t like being treated as one;

2) You feel masculine, but not like a boy.

Libragender:“A gender identity that is mostly agender, but has a connection to masculinity and/or femininity and/or other gendered feelings. That connection may be static (libragender, librafeminine, libramasculine, etc) or fluid, where one feels that the gender one experiences changes (librafluid).”

Mascgender or Mascugender: “A non-binary gender which is masculine in nature.”

Mingender: “Umbrella term for all genders masculine in nature. Also a term to refer to a gender that isn't fully defined but definitely masculine, or a gender in which masculinity is its defining feature (but the gender is not binary male). May simply be used as "min", ie. "my gender is min".”

Nonpuer: "Someone who is not male at all in any way, shape, or form, but feels a strong connection to masculinity within their gender. Nonpuer is the young form and Nonvir is the older form, as, similarly to the term "enby", many find "boy" (puer means boy in Latin) infantilizing.”

Juxera: “Feminine gender similar to girl, but on a separate plane and off to itself.”

Nonbinary girl: “A nonbinary gender with feminine or 'girl' qualities.”

Androgyne: A gender identity where a person experiences a blending of genders, or feels that their identity is in between genders. Usually, but not always, people who identify as androgyne feel that their identity is a blending of male and female, or somewhere between those two genders. Androgyne people may or may not choose to present androgynously.

Androgyneflux: “A state where you have fluctuating feelings of masculinity and femininity, but your gender identity stays the same. Someone who is androgyneflux can be of any gender identity (binary trans, nonbinary, cis, etc.).”

Altegender: “Derived from shortening the phrase “alternate existence.” It is a xenogender that feels as though it’s in a parallel dimension, on a different plane, in a mirror universe, or just in an alternate existence.”

Genderflux: “Having a gender which changes in intensity. Could be considered as being fluid between gendered and agender.”

(Note: you can be genderflux and never be 100% that gender or 0% that gender)

Demigender: “A gender identity that feels partially like one gender and partially like some other (usually non-identified nonbinary) gender. So, for instance, someone can be a demiboy, and feel partially like a boy but partially not.The demi label may be placed in front of any other gender label. It is most frequently seen as demigirl or demiboy, but can also be used with nonbinary genders and can be used with more than two genders (someone can be demigirl, demiboy, and deminonbinary).”

(Note: that may be the basic description of demigender, however a lot of people use it more like “having a faint connection to that gender, but not necessarily having another gender along with it”)

About these last three genders: you can switch -gender with any gender, not just binary ones. If your gender is masculine, but not male, and it changes intensity from time to time, you can be nonpuerflux or mascflux, for example.

I would originally give some more random examples so you could see how varied gender identities can be, but I think this is long enough as is.

Feel free to ask further about any of those identities if you want to know more, or feel free to do research on them on your own (just be careful because a lot of results may be mocking those identities).

Regardless of how you feel about your gender itself, it could also be useful to look for some pronoun lists, if you don’t feel like you fit either she/her or he/him. A few common ones are they/them, e(y)/em, ne/nem, fae/faer, ze/hir, ze/zir and xe/xem, but there are hundreds of possibilities out there.

I would also advise to avoid saying you or anyone else was “born of/into a [male/female] sex”, because this is merely a gender assignment. People are assigned/designated as male or female since birth, sure, but since Western/eurocentric society is extremely cissexist and dyadist, there is a conflation of actual sex, assigned sex and gender that is really harmful to intersex and non-cis people in general.

I suggest using “assigned [gender] at birth” (AGAB, usually manifests as AFAB or AMAB), or “designated [gender] at birth” (DGAB, usually manifests as DFAB or DMAB).

I hope I didn’t leave you too confused! Feel free to ask further questions!

~ Tath