The Wishing Kingdom: Chapter 1: Our Story Starts
(The screen is blank for a few seconds, until a font that says “A few years later” appears, one that faded away, we get our first glimpse of the hamlet, in that area, there’s triangle-shaped roofs of each house staked onto cobblestone rocks in front of some swoopy trees as it’s built as a safe habitat for others to stay safe from the king and queen, then, we see some ragged-clothed people holding on to some laundry and some soil to create a fireplace for themselves to stay warm and to make some food from it as well.)
(Like this shot from The Last Unicorn except it’s showing the rest of the Hamlet.)
After 2 minutes of all that is going on, we get introduced to 12-year-old Asha as she is seen sleeping in her bedroom until the sunshine splashes on her face, waking herself up even though it was so early in the morning.
“Woah! Is it that time already, it’s gone fast than I can hardly imagine!” Asha stretches her arms while seated in her bed, she also got a small glimpse of her pet goat, Valentino with a piece of white cloth on his mouth persuading her to do her work.
“MAAAAAA” Valentino screeched with such enthusiasm.
“Hey there bud, ready to start the day?” She hops out of bed to touch his face as she gently takes the cloth out his mouth, not long after, we get to see Sakina and Sabino walking over to Asha’s side.
“Awww, our little Asha being a grown-up lass, isn’t she just so gentle?” Sabino touches her cheek playfully while he gives his hand to petting Valentino, Sakina joins in too before she is urged to say something as well.
“Yeah, you’re so right, dear, and she will always remain to be here with us for eternity.” She slowly looks at Asha, a slow orchestral background plays that is so loving and gentle before Asha speaks.
“Awww, thank you guys, I could’ve never asked for anything better, now, who’s ready for chores?” She got herself up and held up the white cloth as if she were one of those guards, almost leaving confusion on Valentino, Sakina and Sabino’s faces.
That is until Valentino started jumping around Asha with his paw gesturing the outside of the hamlet, being impatient, from that reaction, Sabino, Sakina and Asha look at each other before they shrugged, grabbed their equipment and opened the door to a brand new day, which leads to the first song!
Our Hamlet/ Our Rosas
In this opening musical number, it shows us what life is like between both worlds, the hidden hamlet which was made as a safe habitat for folks who want to be safe from the king and queen who held Rosas captive, it’s a bit like “Belle”, “Circle of Life” and “Steady as The Beating Drum”, it’s sort of like that but more of a welcome edition to the world.
(Before the song starts, Asha opens the cottage doors with Sabino and Sakina by her side as she grabs her basket to get her work done!)
(Asha)
The people have so much joy in the air,
They know a brand new day is here to stay,
It’s the same morning,
The town here is shining, whoops sorry!
(During the first line, we get a shot of a few people walking around and doing their work with smiles on their faces while Asha strolls around with her basket following every step, in the final line, she accidentally bumps into a young man who is just about to finish his laundry, as she runs off, he rolls his eyes and continues with what he is doing.)
Everyone’s got something,
On their mind that’s spinning,
Behind these roots and those leaves,
Lies a town I can’t leave!
(While Asha is singing the second line, she is seen jumping down on the stairs of each cottage simply made of rocks while observing the people around her, when she says the third line, she gestures the trees and spins around them as if this is her place of comfort.)
(Everyone)
Here inside this hamlet,
We grab the cloth and go,
The scrubbin, the washing,
Is all we have to hold,
Here inside this hamlet,
Our wishes stay aglow,
Who knows what miracles,
Have in store,
In our hamlet.
(With the chorus going in, we go into some townspeople telling others about the work and using their hard work as a purpose to keep their wishes glowing, in one shot, Leo is seen guarding one house whereas Dextrous sleeps on his shoulder, he wakes up suddenly to start guarding, in the final line, we than pan over to the kingdom of Rosas, where King Magnifico and Queen Amaya rule over their subjects.
A citizen of Rosas starts to sing as he is carrying a massive sack of royalty for the king and queen)
(Citizen 1)
With all this load left to hold, I might drain,
What if they find out, they might go insane!
(Citizen 2)
These broken wings of mine,
Yet when will they fly again?
(Both citizens are at the marketplace of Rosas when singing those lines, the first line is supposed to show how the people are forced to work tirelessly with no sleep in order to please the king and queen, and also, the line “these broken wings of mine, yet when will they fly again?” that citizen 2 is singing, the line is supposed to highlight how the citizens of Rosas are enslaved by Magnifico and Amaya’s power forcing them to do everything they say, but the question that is sung emphasises freedom for themselves so that they can pursue their own dreams of their own.)
(Both citizens)
It feels like death is holding on to me,
Just you wait for the day, we’d all be free!
(All citizens)
Right here in Rosas,
Where flowers stay bloomed,
Where a tragedy hits so deep,
Which made our home so bruised,
Right here in Rosas,
We’re holding onto our hopes,
Who knows what lies beneath this hoax,
Behind those heavy doors,
In our Rosas,
In our hamlet!
(In the last chorus, we get a massive set of choreography where the citizens are gathering around as they are dancing around the plaza, in one shot, you get a medium shot of a few people in rags being persuaded to dance along with the citizens, in another shot, some people dance around the statues of Magnifico and Amaya paired together, throughout this number, we get the idea that the Hamlet is a safe haven where they keep their wishes protected whereas Rosas is a literal dystopia where slavery is forced by the king and queen.)
After the number, the camera goes right back to the hamlet where Asha is just about to get her work finished.
There’s a point where she spots Dextrous humming the previous song whilst leaning against the cottage door, her hand rested on his shoulder while she suggests him to get on with his job.
“Eh, sorry miss, I’m just bothered at the moment, it’d be best if you leave me here to rest.” Dextrous replied as his eyes are half-closed like he was about to go to sleep.
“Oh, come on, doing your own work isn’t so bad after all.” She expressed while her hands grasped onto her basket of laundry where she was about to head to the river nearby, that is until Leo arrives with her sketchbook in his hand.
“Heh, looks like you forgot this! Now let’s see here, hmm…” He snoops over her pages (not in a mean way but more of a playful yet innocent way.) which only made Asha twitch her eye a bit, so she starts some banter while he still has her book.
“Been swearing, haven’t ya?”
“No, no I haven’t, I was only just filled with smoke, how can I not puff it all out?” Her sarcastic voice puts him off a bit but it doesn’t bother him.
“Heh, I didn’t know you can tell me how this got you to write like this?”
“Stop playing, Leo, it’s just my thoughts, and personally, it’s like everyone has a story.” She snatches the book of him while she rubs it with her apron, catching Leo and Dextrous aghast when she says that everyone has a story.
“Well, yeah, that is the truth.” She starts opening her sketchbook to show her some of her drawings with Leo and Dextrous. “This here is where I started my first drawing, I know it isn’t perfect like you guys would say it is.”
“Perfect?! Since when did I hear someone say perfect throughout their whole life?” Leo raised his eyebrow, he knew it was all a joke.
Asha’s eyes knitted the friends. “Um, dunno, it just came out of my head, the fact that it’s not really my best drawings…”
“Oh come on, we all love your drawings, imperfect or not.” Dextrous opened his eyes and expressed his true feelings to his trusted friend.
“Thanks… But, I feel like…” After Asha stutters on what is trying to come out of her mouth, we are shown that in a few pages of her messed up sketches and doodles to different types of constillations, gliding across the book as if its a first draft on her finished work,
(This is used to emphasise on how Asha has been willing to inspire people through her own work, she knows that sketching and writing her thoughts is her only strength and she has a fault for seeing the eyes of other people, but in terms of art style, she’s willing to improve as well.)
Leo and Dextrous were wide-mouthed after seeing her pages. “I see, it’s as deep as I could’ve imagined as well.”
“But no matter what happens, you don’t need to always say that you need time to finish with whatever you’re doing, what matters is that we’re here to support you, Asha, just remember that!” Leo’s words fuelled her heart which opened so wide with admiration.
“I mean, yeah, you are the one who fills the world with sunshine.” Dextrous replies as well. (There’s your first reference of the rewrite, Snow White right here, but this is used to describe how much Asha cares for her friends so much and they're willing to support her.)
“So you mean that whenever you’re turning black, I’m the one who completely changes your colour to make you brighter with my heart?” She questioned, she didn’t quite get it all at once.
“Yes, that’s what we mean.” Leo answered back.
Unfortunately, we hear Gilllia’s anger behind the cottage nearby, she is called by him but she walks over with her arms crossed and sat at the furthest pit of the cottage they were standing with.
“WHATS ALL THE FUSS ABOUT?! DIDNT MY DAY JUST CRUMBLE?! Her croaky voice caught everyone’s attention all of a sudden.
“Looks like someone got hit by the wrong ball over there!” Dextrous joked as he gestures right towards Gillia.
“Dextrous!” Leo scoffed and knudged him in the arm leaving him shocked.
“Anyway, what’s the point of showing these sketches and making them your life source, kind of a waste if you think about it.” She said more calmly but she still had that temper slipping through her veins.
“Oh Gilllia, it’s not that bad of a habit, unless you get bored of it like it’s the same thing, but you see here, this page looks off, can you see? Here?” Asha walks over to her and then gestures the page of a drawing of a hamlet citizen, (a concept art version if you want to put it correctly.)
It takes her a bit of time to figure out what is wrong with Asha’s drawing, she instead replies with, “There’s not a single thing I can point out, Asha, the drawing is actually quite good, since when did you get this sort of talent?”
“Taught it myself, you know, I was thinking I’d tell you guys since I’ve been curious about what wishes you’ll write for the stars.” The topic slowly changed as soon as Asha is sat between her friends whilst she is hesitant for their answers.
“To be honest, I don’t know what to wish for, but I’ve heard so many stories about the stars years ago.” This was Leo’s only answer he could come up with before Dextrous took his turn to answer.
“No matter how much I might’ve said this, I think I might wish to be more aware of my surroundings.” Dextrous looks down at his feet after that, “But I feel like I’m getting the hang of it, ya know?”
Gillia’s eyebrows transform into a distant frown when she was asked about what she wanted to wish for, but everyone else knew that her mouth was closed, maybe she isn't ready yet or she doesn't feel like talking about it with her other friends, even though they are the ones who she can trust.
“I guess she isn't ready yet, maybe we'll ask her at some point.” Dexterous patted on her shoulder and eyed right at Asha as she is about to pick her own laundry up from the basket.
“Yeah, but I feel like I also don't know what to wish for, making a wish is complicated because there are so many opportunities one person can hold, but does it really matter if we sit down with our head on the desk, we think about what drives us to pursue that wish?” Leo sighed while he slowly caught a glimpse of the morning sky. “When the stars come out, I hope they answer one’s call.”
“Don't worry, Leo, I’m sure they will come out someday, I know it, and it goes for all of you, when your wish is shown on a ribbon, the stars will listen closely and make sure to grant it as soon as possible!” Asha replied to Leo as his heart slowly began to warm up from her wisdom.
We then take a few seconds for the friend group to look at their hearts to make sure that their wishes are secured, meanwhile, Asha glanced at a castle not so far away and then looked back at where she was, until a voice appears…
“Asha! Time to go back home now!” The voice shouted from a distance.
From there, she starts to pack her laundry and before going straight away, she slowly starts saying goodbye to her friends and they wave back as she climbs up the rocks all the way back to her cottage.
*****************
Final Notes
This is the first chapter that I fully wrote to start off the story of “The Wishing Kingdom”, with the hamlet and Rosas song, I wanted to show you different sides of both worlds and how each person lives their regular life, what I also wanted to show you was the dynamic between Asha and her three friends with each of them supporting one another.
Forgot to mention that the montage of Asha’s drawings, I wanted to use that as a metaphor as to what Walt Disney truly meant when he wanted to create fairy tales into movies, like he did with Snow White, it's also a metaphor for animation as a whole, you know like teaching yourself the basic principles and how they inhabit life into characters and objects!
But don't worry, in Chapter 2, you will see Sakina, Sabino and Asha’s dynamic whilst also getting our first glimpse of the king and queen of Rosas and what they do for a living as well. But in that chapter alone, you will see that the wishes mean so much more to the Hamlet according to Sabino, so you will get more of him, so for now, stay tuned for more!
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So, a few weeks ago I finished watching the Chibnall Era, aka the 13th Doctor's seasons, of Doctor Who. And while it was not as bad as I heard some people say it was, it was definitely not good. The main problem is that it's just kind of boring, like the characters are so underwritten that it's insane. So, I came up with some ideas (a lot of which are mostly rambling) to flesh these people out some more most of which are based on factors that the show alluded to but failed to expand upon and use for actual characterization and development. Now please remember, I am most certainly not an expert in any type of writing, I am just a teenager with a dream.
Graham:
-Have his wife Grace be around for more than one episode before dying. Have her around for at least half a season travelling with the Doctor and have her death result in the Doctor feeling guilty for putting her in danger and not being able to save her. Have Ryan be angry at the Doctor because of Grace's death while having Graham be understanding and not blame the Doctor. But then have Graham reassure Ryan that they all were aware of the risks that would come with travelling with the Doctor and that Grace died doing what she loved which was helping people.
-Have his cancer come back and have him die from it. I think it would be interesting for a companion to die from something more normal when other ones have died in the most devastating ways possible. Also, this kind of death would extend over multiple episodes which would show the characters developing reactions to the fact that Graham is going to die. You could also have something with the Doctor trying to make sure that Graham has lived a full life before he dies and trying to take him on as many adventures as possible due to the fact that the other companions who died were so young. But, have Graham tell the Doctor that he is content with the mostly quiet life he has lived and that he has accepted the fact that he is going to die because at least he'll be going to the same place where Grace is.
Ryan:
-Have Ryan feel kinda inclined to mend the relationship with his dad because he is the only blood relative he has left since Grace died. But don't have him reconcile with his father at the end. This'll instead be the moment Ryan accepts Graham as a father figure and calls Graham his grandfather. This plus his relationship with Yaz and the Doctor will emphasize the idea of a found family.
-Have his dyspraxia be touched upon more than just with throwaway lines about how he can't ride a bike and struggles with climbing ladders. Show him possibly being underestimated by some other characters maybe Graham and show the frustration that would come with that. Also, have the Doctor relate to him because of her neurodivergence which would strengthen their bond.
-Show flashbacks of how Yaz and Ryan were friends when they were in school. Maybe show how they both felt like outcasts, with Ryan feeling that way due to his dyspraxia and Yaz feeling that way due to her struggles with her sexuality and that being the reason why they became friends.
-Make Ryan's YouTube channel a greater part of his character instead of something that never gets brought up again after his first episode. Have him constantly record his adventures with the Doctor and upload them to YouTube to honor Grace in a way. Also, when Graham dies of cancer, have Ryan upload a video summarizing all of the amazing things he did with Graham which would be a great callback to what he did when Grace died.
Yaz:
-Don't have her sexuality be something that only gets barely acknowledged in the last few episodes.
-Maybe Yaz and Ryan dated while they were in school but they broke up because of Yaz's lack of feelings towards him due to her sexuality and that's why they grew apart. Also, Ryan should be the one to confront Yaz about her feelings towards the Doctor.
-They sort of implied that Yaz has some internalized homophobia. So, expand on that! They had Jack there for a minute, they could've used his bisexuality and feelings towards the Doctor or just the Doctor's nonchalantness towards gender as a way for Yaz to accept herself more. Like a big thing with Doctor Who companions is the Doctor showing them things they didn't even think were possible, the same would be true for Yaz but in a different way.
-So, Yaz is a cop. They kind of touched on the issues surrounding this in Rosa but they quickly brushed it off and it was never brought up again, and her job in general barely even plays much of a role, like she literally just quits off screen near the end. Obviously, you could make her being a cop a source of ongoing conflict because I know that the Doctor would be ACAB. The Doctor could challenge Yaz's beliefs regarding the police system, similar to how she challenged Yaz's ideas regarding gender and sexuality.
The Doctor:
-On paper I'm not really against the Timeless Child or the Flux but please just give them more time.
-Show us some lore regarding who the Doctor thought was her biological family so that we can understand how she's feeling more.
-Give more time to her confronting Tecteun. Literally, I was so excited seeing the Doctor argue with her about whether it was right for Tecteun to take her in but it only lasts for like five fucking minutes.
-Also, they used the Timeless Child as a way to sort of explain the Doctor's autistic behavior. In fact, the writers even said they intentionally wrote her as autistic and there are several scenes where they emphasize how socially awkward she is. Okay then why not have some allegories for neurodivergence? Why not equate the whole Timeless Child thing to getting an autism diagnosis? Why not use the Doctor as a way to show how autistic men are treated differently than autistic women with her being eccentricities being met with more hostility than when she was a man? Or why not just have one of the companions, maybe Ryan, explicitly acknowledge how the way she acts aligns with autism?
-Oh and that thing they had about the Doctor refusing to form strong relationships because they know that they'll likely end tragically? Yeah maybe spend more than three goddamn episodes barely acknowledging that. Like I wouldn't mind the story 13th Doctor and her companions ending tragically with her pushing them away and leaving them on Earth long enough that they've gone back to their normal lives and have realized that there's nothing they can do except hope that the Doctor is able to sort out her shit on her own.
-Oh and also don't confine the Flux to just six episodes. Like at least hint to that shit around the same time as the Timeless Child.
Also, I don't think all of the companions should be travelling with the Doctor every episode. Like a few episodes sprinkled in there where the others are staying at home and only like one or two of the companions are travelling with the Doctor this time. This way you can have episodes hyper focused on certain characters without worrying about giving the others something to do.
I have considered doing a rewrite of these seasons or something but again I'm not an expert writer. The only fic I've ever written is a 2,000 word character study and that one took me a long time to write because of how much a perfectionist I am.
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