#SHE JUST HAD A MUSIC STAR IN THERE?
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haul from: my wife's big box of childhood lego
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b'elanna, seven, and perfection: using voy scripts, excerpts from pathways by jeri taylor, and lyrics from at the ballet
#star trek#b'elanna torres#seven of nine#web weaving#pretend this post is covered in blood i just fought for my life against the 30 image limit so forgive me#also please listen to the song for the full effect i listened to the version with deirdre goodwin and it was so. ough#if you do listen to it tho be mindful i chopped it up and recut and reshaped it to make it work because that was from a broadway musical#and this is star trek. thank you#also clearly im not over pathways please read pathways. and im not over how old miral was when she had b'elanna. and got married.#and i'm not over the borg either. btw.#nobody:#me: john torres is like the borg queen and everybody needs to know.#anyway. sometimes the ballet is starfleet and sometimes its the collective and sometimes its just belonging. sometimes its janeway.#sometimes its ur parents arms sometimes its the alcove sometimes its engineering. anyway
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11:48
Clockworker- Recollective Musicbox
"the springs of the music box became warped, golden and red from who it was for. The melody of love to you no longer plays, and can't be replaced.
The woman who died as soon as she fell, and the crying woman as well—
They both were loved equally by my own self, I had loved them both and yet...
The music box made of my love no longer plays and can't be replaced."
(this all makes me think of Tov, Tallis and Himei.... / Tov as Kiril Clockworker- the one mainly singing the song. Tallis as the woman who died as soon as she fell, with Himei being the crying woman— @ivanttakethis & @lookatmysillies .)
#time diary(?)#audrey/kellie's time diary#alnst oc: tov#alnst oc: tallis#alnst oc: himei#alien stage ocs#alnst ocs#alnst oc#alien stage oc#alien stage season 39#alnst season 39#i honestly ive now been associating Clockworker- Recollective Musicbox with Tov. i think that song is so fitting for her#to love people and make something for them. to have those two love ones meet an end even if you wished for happiness. only for happiness#but sometimes the world doesn't want to answer you. sometimes love can be the cause of such thing. love is everything in alien stage; right?#all traces are in love. all traces go back to the stars. everything starts with love. everything starts with the stars. constellations#constellations named after people who had an effect on her. constellations named after people out of respect and love for them.#the music box was made out of love. the music boxes were all made out of love. tov uses the names and names the constellations out of love#every constellations is named out of love. the people are filled with respect for Kiril because of his music boxes;#having call him clockworker for that reason. aliens will be filled with respect towards Cassio because of how far Tov has came#possibly giving her another name? i like to think that sometimes the aliens call the winners whatever seems fitting. yk?#“prince luka” “luka syndrome” etc. theres possibly more for luka. i dont know where im going at. just thinking that they might give her a#last name. it would be very interesting but still so fucked up that they give her another name. a last name and call it smth#relating to how she loves and how she loved. relating to her losses more then her wins. relating back to the stars#because the stars are everything to tov. shes could be a embodiment of some stars. i think the last name would somewhat be like that
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reblogged the foundational girl+dog posts so that everyone can understand what's going on
#i have made some more choices:#theyre both bi/hes never thought about his gender in his life/shes a former teen star/he inherited a production studio/#her mom was also a singer/his brother is a lawyer specialising in harassment law/celebrity harassment/#both their mothers were hounded by press in their final years/arguably were driven to their premature deaths by the media/#everyone had a stress malfunction when she got into this career/their families are close/he was her mentor figure to watch out for her#when she was young/he wears a usb stick around his neck or clipped to his belt/this is a playlist made by her/they started doing this#the first time he went away on tour after his mothers death/they could switch to pure digital but he likes having the object/#he has a beloved antique box in his private studio which is just different usb sticks to this same purpose/#she compalins that it's so impractical and he has to have a special attachment to his music player to listen to it/#she doesnt stop making them/they delivery app order eachother fancy drinks when they're apart#/the first time they toured cross atlantic they went by boat bc shes scared of flying/his favourite movie is phantom thread#and hes secretly disappointed that she'd never risk poisoning him/shes terrifyed of disease but thinks thats lame so wont ever admit it#tad talks#girl+dog
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nepo babies =/= person from a rich family i always thought?
#i thought a nepo baby was specifically someone whose parents/relatives are in the entertainment/arts industries#like taylor swift isnt a nepo baby she just had rich parents?? they bought her way into a music career but with their money not any#connections they had in the music industry previously.#whereas like…Ben Platt would be a nepo baby because he is a stage and film actor and his father is a film producer and produced films#that star him.#that’s not really to say that one is better or worse than the other and i don’t really care about the discourse either way#(people being upset their fave don’t have an organic by-merits-alone rise to fame story kind of confuse me because it seems like a very#modern and out of reality way of thinking)#like i get that people are getting undeserved opportunities through (1) money (2) connections and then putting out subpar art which sucks#but i do kind of think that ultimately you can’t trick people THAT MUCH. kim kardashian threw a bunch of money at a music career and it#never went anywhere because she simply was not good and no one liked it.#billie elish has rich parents but no matter your personal taste you can’t deny she's found success because she has an audience for whom her#music resonates. idk if she would be as successful if her parents didn’t have money and she didn’t have the opportunities that gave her#and certainly there are millions of people as good or better than her at music (if you can even quantify it in that simplistic of a way) wh#will never get the opportunities she has had that gave her success but i also don’t think she would be as successful as she is if she was#less talented.#also this is literally the worst time in history to be worried about nepo babies lol not saying that no one should complain about nepotism#casting but like we are in the golden age of people achieving artistic success through grassroots means thanks to the internet#getting an audience for work that resonates with people without the machine of the entertainment industry backing you is more possible than#ever before#also and i only have to say this in this exactly corner of the internet#if you are a monarchist you can’t use the term nepo baby#sorry you just can’t
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Me: I do not care about Descendants enough to watch that new movie. I barely cared when I saw the original ones.
Me: *Watches one behind-the-scenes dance rehearsal of Brandy and Paolo*
Me: *Silently SOBBING*
Me: Ok fine. Fine. I know they have barely any screentime but AH ok. Fine.
#descendants#like legit i KNOW they probably have 10 minutes total of screentime since the movie is about the kids time traveling#but still ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh#also this reminds me of the time i saw Paolo in an off-broadway show (shoutout to Bella: An American Tall Tale)#(very weird show and i was the only person in my musical theatre intensive who enjoyed it)#(look the song The Language of My Nose and Lips and Hair really spoke to me as the only Black girl in that class ok.)#and i remember thinking this man was SO attractive but could not put my finger on why he looked kinda familiar#then at intermission i properly read the playbill and i was like THE PRINCE!?!??!?!?!#since at this point it'd been 20 years since cinderella and the man had not. aged. a. DAY.#oh and a few years prior when Brandy was Roxie in Chicago i went to Stars in the Alley and to this day i'm not sure what came over me#but her coming onstage to sing Roxie made my little tiny child self come to the surface and i SCREAMED in excitement#and my friend was like '...what was that' and i was like '...i have no idea... i didn't realize she'd have this affect on me...'#i really went from 'it's cool she's on broadway. i probably won't see it though.' to ear piercingly high screeching#i think i'm gonna give in and watch this stupid movie. i say 'stupid' affectionately.#because i generally enjoyed the other movies even if they're not my favorite of the DCOMs. but it's really just to see them.
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lmao
#bro i've Only listened to hade/stown for like a week#over a week i think#and before that i was only listening to chinese music sometimes bc it was midterms and chinese music hits while studying lol#but also listening to ha/destown a Lot in btwn and before that#i'm like getting to the point where i want to listen to smth else#but idk what to listen to :c#bc before this i was getting to that point w all my other music LMFAO#ughhhhhhh ig i should find new music to listen to#but that takes so much effort LOL#i literally talked abt wanting to listen to h/adestown for like at least 2 years#all the stars had to align for me to listen LOL#i had to have HEARD some of it apparently and also just be not incredibly lazy and not in the mood for new music#i should go to my friend who has a lot of the same music taste as me for music recs tbh#ignoring the fact that she recommended me muna a while ago ASJDHGHADFLKGHF i'm just too lazy to actually listen to new music lmao#but i need new music ;-;#who am i kidding tho i'm just gonna keep hitting play on road to hell when the soundtrack loops thru again lmfao#bc i don't wanna figure anything else out LMAO#but anyway feel free to give me artist recs if anyone reading this lolll#there is abt a < .1% chance i actually like listen to anything LMFAO#jeanne talks
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“Spock and Chapel had a little thing but he was much more into it than she was and so he got his heart broken when she left for her job and met someone else and completely lost any feelings he might have had for her in the pain of her singing a sexy little song about how she’s down for a fling but her real love is archeological medicine. She, however, probably never quite got over him because they had no proper closure” sure why not
#alternative theory she’s not actually in love with him during tos she just wants more sex and Spock won’t fuck til marriage and divorce#I really like that their breakup involved a sexy lounge number about how it was never that serious for her#one day she’s going to drug him into loving her. Spock baby call HR#also I’m 2/3 of the way through this episode and I don’t think Uhura has had any significant song time? I know she’s in a good place#emotionally right now but one would think the character known for her love of singing and music would sing a bit in the musical episode#Spock#Christine chapel#Star Trek#snw#liveblog#snw spoilers
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saw the prettiest girl ever on the bus today.... would have asked for her IG if it weren't for the fact that i was with my mom 😔
#she had red hair round transparent glasses and some beautiful star earrings#she was listening to music (i assume bc she had headphones on) and looking out the window in front of me#and i was just. trying not to stare at her#SHE WAS SO PRETTY#sorry. gay#lennie.personal
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I like to think that if my tumblr pals came to my house, they’d have a good time
#random post#I don’t mean that as in ‘yea woo let’s party and get fucked up’ like no lol#I just mean. our house is a place where people get along#there’s no expectations here. wanna sit and talk? we can hang out and talk about whatever#wanna play a game? chances are a few other people do to#need to get away for a bit and maybe take a nap? we’ve got plenty of beds take your pick. we’ll make sure no one bothers you#hungry or thirsty? help yourself don’t be shy. we can always get more#like we had ppl over on Saturday and it was so FUN like ppl would talk all together and then different conversations would split off of that#we would go outside then back in. we had food and some ppl had alcohol#we were laughing SO hard about funny shit (like discovering that my sisters bf worked on the gas meter at grandpas but didn’t SAY ANYTHING#ABOUT IT LMFAO) my cousin brought his gf to meet everyone and she just fit in perfectly and so obviously had an obsession for animals#her and my sister were like sudden bffs it was hilarious. my brother and younger cousin ate at 2:40 and slept upstairs till 6:00#and all we did was turn of the light and put on a fan for em lol. crack up at how comfortable they were#me and my lil sister were walking up and down the driveway talking and looking at the stars. the nap duo were pointing out constellations#when most everyone left it was my household and my sister and her bf. she played uno flip and incoherent with me (usually no one does lol)#and we laughed very hard at all of the adult cards. one of the hints she gave for sidechicks was ‘sad used to have a lot of these’ and#I immediately got it. it was fun. we blasted music from the 2000’s and ate bread#I slept for 11 hours that night lmao and I was tired the next day but I wouldn’t have changed it. I like them lots#it’s days like that that make me think I’m more extroverted than introverted. just because I don’t always know what to say doesn’t mean#I don’t like to talk yn? anyways I’m writing a novel in the tags but I don’t care <3 I just love us and I wish#other people were able to have love and fun times often#I hope this doesn’t sound like me bragging about my home life. trust me I know it’s not some shining light in the darkness or whatever#but it’s something. and I don’t mind sharing my love with other people
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I FIGURED IT OUT
I ADDED LOCAL FILES TO SPOTIFY HOOOOOOLY MOLY
#she is a little dumb#i am so normal rn#ensemble stars music#why are you not available on dutch spotify?#you just HAD to make this more difficult for me#why do you not want my support????#anyway#i win
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buckley was right
#every fucking#every beautiful song is our song.#we really fucked ourselves over. the musical revolution we had#when we adopted each others music taste#i read a lyric and vomit#here i dreamt i was an architect is about you#coyote song is about you#waiting room is about you#neptune is about you#this town is about you helplessly hoping is about you inventors daughter is about you she is about you#and i am afraid to tell anyone because theyll try to make me get over you#<- i dont wanna get over you is about you. hounds of love is about you.#it really is never over. we're gonna keep going back to each other even when we're married to other people that can give us what we need#we dont work together i know wed get bored and wouldnt get along but#i think we're really just made of the same thing#some terrible star of fate#whatEVER!!!!! to delete
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explaining to other ppl why youre a swiftie is just a constant series of "you had to be there"
#why do you connect to this basic pop star? [thinks back to the vlogs and the dorky teenager and relatable romantic whimsy] had to be there#why do you think shes going to do something crazy? [thinks about the dozens of times something innocuous has meant something]had to be there#why are you so passionate abt her? [thinks abt the years of online vitriol weve gotten in various forms#from misogynistic hate pre 2012 to calling her a lying snake post 2015 to calling her a n*zi to the continued accusation#that she doesnt write all her own music] you just had to be there#ts#op
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lady gaga's a star is born gets me every time. not to be corny but there's so many layers to it i discover on rewatch...... his mom was 17 his dad was 63. the wind farm. his dad not so obviously dying of alcoholism. him leaning in to hear bc he can't, and his brother understanding that intuitively. his brother's look when he reverses the car after dropping him off. cooking the dog a steak. lady gaga being a good actress. the cut right at the end where it goes back to him playing at the piano...........
#this is like my mom's favorite movie but it makes me cryyyyy every time#theres smthing rlly naturalistic abt the shooting language and the script and the performances that is so... offputting but so good and real#its also always funny to see how hollywood/the music industry sees itself 'you dont need talent you need something to say'#like... okay sure ig. but#the movie plays lip service to that being the moral of the movie but it obviously is not about that hollywood just had to sneak it in#to me its about trauma cycles but........ its just glancing at them bc looking at them would be too painful for the characters.#theres such deep deep hurt that is like obviously the plot of the movie but imo they do it rlly well and just feed you the pieces#here and there#in a way that the ending makes sense but is devestating#devastating#also lady gaga is there#like i could say a lot abt her character but im always sp into her acting she loops back around to not being the character?#the movie isnt rlly about her in the same way honestly her character is a lil flat. but she sells it#shes just kinda the pov character in a way? the emotion comes from imagining being in her place but its bc of him. yknow#can a foil ever be a main character#anyway. a star is born go watch it
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ok, i need to rant for a second. don’t mind it
#this morning i had a very emotional discussion with my best friend and someone we know#i made a silly comment on how my strong will had swayed this fine morning when I saw the covers for 5-star#and how i wanted yo buy them immediately although I'm criminally broke#but still a want is a want#and that one person not knowing a tiniest bit about korean music industry went on an hour rant how this is fucked up#to force ppl to spend so much money#that these artists are not serious artists if they need to do things like releasing 4 or more versions of an album to get sales AND SO ON#mind you she is a musician herself#and it felt very personal#when she said that she cannot respect a musician who does thing like that#someone who needs different photoshoots#cards#all the shine and glitter#just to sell music#it went for AN HOUR#mind you she has no idea who skz are and never in her life i think listened to any music from that part of the world#i know she is wrong in most of what she said#but it still hurt#ofc this is only a snippet of what she said#but you get the idea...#dont mind me#had to get it out of my chest
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yo brain who are we again
#this is the third time i have told someone (close friend who is a system) about the things i do#and they have told me to consider looking into DID or something similar#so apparently having multiple different personalities you put on around different people#and each one having their own “identity” in a sense#isnt normal behavior#and also leaving notes and such for yourself because you know in a few hours you will probably be a different person#and will not remember shit isnt normal#which i guess thats understandable#sometimes i go do Something and then when i get done im like wow. this is not fucking me#but i thought that was just Not Knowing Who I Am Yet#oh and the little guys in my head arent normal either. i guess.#like no deadass theres this one super kool guy his name is jeremy he rocksss he told me uh he likes country music or something#and this girl. it doesnt have a name yet i dont think. yeah shes a bitch but its fun#the one weird thing that hangs around in the back didnt have a name either so jeremy suggested we name it after one of my favorite stars#thing is i thought systems were like. they stemmed from trauma and such. i dont think i have any trauma that could. cause this.#most of my life has been fine like idk#mmmmaybe its just me making up the little guys#i used to do that as a kid. id think up friends in my head and we'd like. idfk play 2gether. it was fun!#there are also. other little things i think but they dont talk and i havent heard from em in awhile#there used to b dis whole group of them that all had the names of stars. real kool people i thought they were sick#havent heard from em tho so idk#i know people r like “try out the label and see if it fits!!” but what if it DOESNT fit and then everyone thinks i was a FAKE nd shit#idk#welp#tw vent#i guess
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