Wondering if all the old dao fanfic I read back in the day still exists anywhere. So much of it was on ffnet of all places.
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In the vampire au when Mike comes back wrong he winds up dead set on getting his teeth into Fit, much to everyone's confusion and very much to Fit's annoyance.
Mike tries to convince him first that he's just hungry, he can see the gauze taped over Pac's bites, Fit should be a good friend and let him bite too. Unfortunately for him, Fit doesn't trust this "Mike" as far as he could throw him.
Then he tries to just do it. It's not hard to keep him back, but it's frustrating because Mike wouldn't do that.
Then it's Pac's turn, their link picks back up and Mike is pushing and pushing into his head that he can't really trust Fit, that he should finish him off next time he bites, that-
But Mike checks almost every other box of being him. They're left to deal with it for now.
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Hides back in the 'forbidden' fandom I'm part of only because of sun goddess HORSE
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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since Eng is getting 7.5 soon(?), I felt motivated to go back to my Meleanor rig and make her a couple of lesson animations! ...except for alchemy, because the cauldron bubbles proved too hard to photoshop around, whoops.
maybe she just got lost on her way to the classroom...?
(credit: backgrounds are from the game, I just put her on top of 'em)
(aside from the backgrounds, this is not an edit, I drew her from scratch! please do not tag or treat as an edit!)
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Claribel Alegría, from “From the Bridge”
Text ID: poor deluded thing / you learned the consolations / of philosophy / before understanding / why you had to be consoled
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Now that the Terror fandom is growing as it rightly should, I think it's time to re-unleash the Goldner's Fleshlight.
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