#She had like such potential as a character :(

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

Thinking about Jon’s self destructive behaviours because I think the gradual development of them, and how they intensify, is both very interesting and also very improtant in how the story ends.

Jon’s sacrifice in MAG200, his insistence on choosing the option that means giving his humanity up, getting the blood on his hands so no one else has to, condemning himself, it stems mostly from nearly three years worth of unchecked guilt, and his role as a scapegoat. He has to do the hard thing because no one else will, because only he, the monster, can.

The thing about Jon, is that Georgie was right, he needed a support system desperately - honestly most of the TMA characters do - but whatever support system he may have potentially had in people like Sasha, Tim and Martin had long since crumbled. Had he had that constant support, people there who saw him more as a man than a monster, who didn’t blame everything on him, I don’t think his self destructive tendencies would have gotten as bad as they did. He did have Martin and Daisy, but Martin was never around in season four, and I think with Daisy, there’s a whole other aspect to explore, especially with how she’s treated in comparison to him.

As a whole, a lot of his self destruction stems from how he views himself, as well as his position. By the time everyone else started trying to claim blame, it was far too late: the Eyepocalypse had begun and Jon was so used to being at fault, he could not see it any other way. He could not see himself as a victim.

This isn’t a jab at the others either, how they acted makes sense for their own positions, this post just happens to be focusing on Jon, and how this constant blame and dehumanisation impacted his mentality.

I think a lot about the small comment made by Basira (I believe it was?) on putting him down. It’s such a specific phrasing, that makes Jon feel less like a man and more like a sick dog that’s a danger to others and himself, and I think that summarises how he’s come to view himself, and how some view him, very well.

To summarise, if you treat a man like a monster, he’s going to start acting like he is one, and for all they tried to take that back, it was far too late to do so.

Again, not a jab at the other characters. I’ll probably be writing a post on Georgie soon honestly and how she reacts to these things, because God knows I do not blame her - I just need to rewatch some of the episodes for that.

This isn’t all my thoughts either as I am currently busy, but hey it gets the general idea across?

[acid-ixx]

I have a question, well 2 questions to be exact that’s been rattling around in my head since I started reading platonic yandere batfam fics, why would reader stay in Gotham? I’d be sneakily stealing as much money as I could without getting caught as soon as I reach a “fuck these guys” mentality. Like, asking to have some money for groceries or something and just pocketing it so that I could get a bus ticket and leave the city. Would you do it if you were reader? It just makes sense to me “this place sucks, these people suck, I’ve gotten enough to leave”, this is with me assuming that reader has the means of course, if the reader doesn’t then okay, yeah that makes sense

And my second question, do you ever feel resentful towards Alfred when you read batfam photonic yandere content? I do sometimes, especially when the reader is neglected. I know this might sound odd but when I read these fics I recognize that Alfred could do more, out of everyone in the manner, I think Alfred’s word carries the most weight, especially with Bruce due to him raising Bruce. I also notice in some batfam fics that the reader doesn’t get mad at him due to him giving them attention, but idk it feels kinda like a slap to the face, knowing that I don’t have the power but he does and yet not exercising it until I’ve burned every last tie to that family.

I know my thoughts are a more “well you’re on the outside looking in” type takes, but idk, it hurts my heart knowing that if reader stays in that city, it will be far more easier for the batfam to find them, where if they were outside the city, they’d have a fighting chance to make a new life for themselves

On a side note, I think we are underutilizing the angst potential of reader legally changing their name and the batfam not knowing until months or even years later when reader leaves. Like Bruce and the fam would just have to sit and realize that reader hates/dislikes/doesn’t care about them enough to legally change their name from Wayne to whatever reader chooses. Jason was Batman’s greatest failure, but Reader would be Bruce’s greatest failure, and what a delightful public failure it would be if the tabloids were to somehow find out that one of Bruce Wayne’s biological children changed their legal name

I’m loving your batfam content btw, like it makes me want to create one of those “screw therapy, I need to fist fight my dad” tiktoks and tag Bruce Wayne, that’s what I can phenomenal writing!! And sorry for making this so long! Hope you have a great existence!

slight spoilers for future chapters.

this is one of my favorite asks... anon, you are so brilliant because your two questions tie into the reader's character so well and the flaws that they (you) conjured from years of neglect, so i hope my answers would suffice (i am answering based on the perspective of the reader from my series: again & again with a bit of my own perspective). tysm for sending this in, i actually really enjoy long asks and appreciate it when people take the time to send me these things!

why would the reader stay in gotham?

chapter one wasn't all the detailed about why they stayed in gotham. firstly, their self-worth had them reason that in no way, shape, or form would their family that basically estranged them would come running to them, especially not when the only time the reader could even stumble across them is by some miracle of coincidence. this also ties into their lack of knowledge about their family. sure, they know that babs is the oracle but do they know just how much access she has across gotham? not really. they know tim, like bruce, has a tendency to collect information about other people, but they don't know that they have contingency plans to be creeped out enough to get away from gotham and from their reach.

"it's not like tim or bruce or barbara considered you important enough to be stalked. hah, as if!"

and the third point is, despite bruce being a billionaire of some sort, it was stated that the reader was too well-behaved and quiet. how does this make sense? as you've stated, they wouldn't simply have the means to get out. seeing as they were sheltered by alfred and never really explored the concept of traveling far away, they never asked for money; the only advantage of being a wayne is having quite a lot of things served on a silver platter.

they have this sort of toxic bond for staying with the people who have hurt them and it materialized to them physically staying despite knowing it would only cause more pain than anything else, and they don't know that. plus, they'd rather not have the wayne name associated with them and getting money from cheques or credit cards would be too risky for the reader's safety.

they've only realized just how shitty their family is after more than 10-13 years of staying in the manor, and saving up to move to an entirely different place would be difficult, alongside college and the jobs they have to take. so the next best thing they could do is rely on any means of advantage they could get whilst also moving on to the path of self-discovery and recovery.

but that doesn't mean they're staying in gotham forever, definitely not. the moment the reader realizes that dick gained some sort of interest towards them, they're booking it out of gotham. preferably to metropolis or central city or even somewhere far, far away— they're naive, but not stupid. sudden interest towards them means danger rather than anything else. and they're aware that alfred is capable enough to pull strings, so that's why spoiler alert: they have a secret stash of money hidden somewhere and like any children of bruce, they inherited the capability to be smart enough to already back up their contacts and everything on their phone, buy a burner phone and even change their entire identity in one quick go right after they move into an entirely different city or country.

gotham is merely their practice course.

do you ever feel resentment towards alfred?

quite frankly, yes. the reader in the fic feels resentment towards everyone for a reason actually, but alfred's part was stated vaguely as to not spoil a future chapter that focuses on his perspective. they know that he has the more power inside the manor more than bruce has. everyone, and i mean everyone respects alfred, and it doesn't take a genius to know that if you mess with him, you're messing with an entire family of crime fighters.

it's not obvious, but the reader's narrative in chapter one is them trying so hard to delude themself into thinking things can be better until it's too late. so in a sense, there's false narrative coming into play.

"alfred would be too busy sometimes to attend your school ceremonies because he had to assist bruce with missions. of course, you understood his priorities. after all, he tried his hardest to make you feel less lonely inside the mansion, it wasn't enough but he was there at least."

at some point in time, alfred had also neglected the reader emotionally with the same reasoning as the others; he was busy with their father. and this all could've been avoided if alfred had tried to confront the entire family about it. i'm not delving deeper into this to really avoid spoilers other than pointing out some details in the first chapter.

just know that alfred relishes in your newfound favoritism towards him, and that he may or may not have pulled some strings himself from helping you become closer to the family.

the part about reading changing their name from (name) wayne to (name) (last name) is what made me so drawn to this ask. you have pretty much predicted one of the chapters that explored (name) wayne to the public eye. they're not so much of an internet celebrity because of their rare appearances in public, but that's what causes immense curiosity about their identity to uprise in gotham, and their fame was one of the means to get to you.

there was one news article published that was the reason that made bruce distant towards you.

but let's focus on what yan! bruce would've felt once he turns a full 360.

because the first thing he would do once he has you in his grasp is to change your last name back to his. you are not the child of a (last name), you are a wayne first and foremost, bruce's third child and his greatest mistake, quite literally. you were a product of a one-night-stand, and because he was drowning in despair from jason's death, he had failed to notice you. all his years of neglect, and he doesn't even know a single thing about you, simply because he refused to acknowledge your presence.

and you rightfully hated him, he should've accepted that. but your diary entries and the way you innocently thought of him destroyed any sliver of hope for a peaceful reconciliation. he hates how you were experiencing the same type of despair as him when it comes to battling your own monsters— you truly are a wayne at heart. he couldn't afford to let you get away any further. just like dick, he needs to fix it now or further sever the already broken ties you have with him.

it's not batman now, but rather bruce. bruce wayne had failed to save another one of his children, not as a vigilante, but as a father.

knowing bruce, he's quick to take into action and search for you.

holy shit, this is a really long post but i hope it does answer the questions ! im so grateful that you like my writing enough to write a really long ask, and i hope to see your messages more once the new chapters are published <3

[sidekick-hero]

It's finally here, my entry for the @steddiesummerexchange. This is a gift for my dear friend @starryeyedjanai - I was so delighted when I found out you were my giftee 💜💜💜 Your prompt 'Steve can't get his inheritance until he marries someone' really tested me and took me out of my writing comfort zone. I hope you like it and that I did your prompt justice! Special shout out to the best beta in the whole world, @acasualcrossfade 💜🙏

Pairings: Steve/Eddie, Robin/Chrissy Characters: Steve, Eddie, Robin, Chrissy, Max, Dustin, Wayne Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake Marriage, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, idiot4idiot, Friends to Husbands to Lovers, Humor and Fluff and a smudge Angst

Summary:

When Steve's grandmother dies, he finds out that he can only get his inheritance - half a million dollars - if he marries someone. It's her way of forcing Steve to live a heterosexual life. Sucks for her that gay marriage has been legalized since she wrote her will. Sucks for Steve that he doesn't have a man or woman in his life to marry. Cue Eddie Munson, roommate and best friend of Robin's girlfriend Chrissy and the guy Steve has had a crush on for years. What could possibly go wrong?

Read on AO3 - the fic is finished and has 4 chapters, the last one will drop June 24

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 1 (5.6k) under the cut

"Rob! Robbie!" Steve yells as he walks into their two-bedroom apartment, kicking the door shut behind him. "Robin Juniper Buckley, where are you?"

He hears the telltale clatter of dishes and sure enough, he finds his roommate and best friend in their tiny kitchen washing the dishes. It's his turn to do them, but his schedule has been hell this week. He's been spending so much time at the firehouse cooking for a crew of five to twelve perpetually hungry firemen and women that the thought of cleaning up their kitchen at home has made him want to cry.

"I'm here doing the dishes, because if I didn't, we could have proven Darwin's theories right here in our kitchen." Despite the scolding words, she doesn't look particularly angry at him, and he figures he'll be forgiven in no time. She knows he's been working himself into the ground lately, pulling double shifts whenever his boss will let him. Living in Chicago is expensive enough, but Steve also has to think about Max's education. There's no way his little sister can't live up to her full potential just because their parents are assholes who stopped caring about their children the second they turned out not to be the perfect son and daughter Richard and Emily Harrington wanted them to be.

He walks up to her and hugs her sideways, resting his head on her shoulder for a moment as he mumbles, "'m sorry, Robs. I'll make it up to you."

She sighs, and he knows he's already forgiven. "I know you will. It's okay. Not like I forgot to do something once or twice."

He leans back to look at her for full effect, waggling his eyebrows. "Oh, like when you started dating Chrissy and were so busy having sex that you barely left your room or her apartment?"

Robin swats at him with the towel slung over her shoulder, but there's a smile on her face at the memory.

"Okay, now that we've established that you're jealous that I have an incredibly sexy and wonderful girlfriend," Robin says, ignoring his indignant Oi!, "do you want to tell me why you stormed in here yelling out my full name, which I've clearly forbidden you to use except in emergencies?"

Her question brings back the excitement that propelled him from the grocery store to her apartment in record time, and reminds him of the news he's been dying to share with her in person, rather than by phone or text message. He needs to see her reaction firsthand.

Taking hold of Robin's shoulders, he locks eyes with her azure gaze, unable to contain the grin that splits his face in two. "She’s gone!"

Robin blinks in confusion, prompting him to clarify. "Grandma Harrington, she's kicked the bucket, bit the dust, you name it."

A puzzled expression lingers on Robin's face momentarily before realization dawns. "No way! She... really?"

Unable to contain his excitement, Steve gives her a gentle shake. "Yes, really. Grandma Harrington finally called it quits."

They look at each other, their grins widening until they both look like madmen. Steve is aware that all of this is probably a highly inappropriate way to react to the death of a human being, but Eleanor Harrington had been the worst human being Steve or Robin had ever had the displeasure of meeting in their lives.

She had visited her son and daughter-in-law infrequently over the years, never giving them much warning when she was coming over and occupying one of their guest rooms for the unforeseeable future. More than once, Steve had come home to find her sitting at the kitchen table or on the sofa, staring at him with her judgmental gaze, disappointed in him before he even crossed the threshold. Any friend who had the misfortune to accompany him was ordered to sit with her and be interrogated, always found wanting as her grandson's companion. Everyone was beneath a Harrington, even Tommy, even though his father was a lawyer. ‘Too many freckles and that awful grin’ was one reason, ‘I don't like the way he looks at you, Steven, too greedy’ was another.

Robin, who had become a permanent fixture in Steve’s life after becoming his project partner in one of their shared classes his junior year, hadn’t fared any better. To this day, Steve has no idea how Grandma Harrington found out that Robin was queer, because at that point Robin hadn't even been out to her parents, only Steve. But when she did, she had spit at Robin. Steve had lost it then, too angry, too hurt to think rationally. He had thrown caution to the wind and come out to her, too, even though the thought of liking boys was still new to him, something he was still trying on to see how it would fit.

He doesn't even know what he expected to get out of it. Certainly not acceptance or even approval, no matter how much a part of him still craved that from his family. The only thing he got was her calling them both horrible names and saying such cruel things that Steve had to hold Robin and wipe away her tears afterwards.

That episode alone was reason enough for Steve to hate the old woman. Never mind that she had raised his father to be a bigoted, heartless man who had never learned what it meant to truly love anyone, not even his own son or daughter.

When their faces begin to ache from smiling, Robin shrugs casually, as though dismissing the significance of the moment. But Steve knows better. He knows the weight of hurt and resentment they both carry because of that woman.

"Rest in peace, I suppose," Robin remarks with an air of detachment, and Steve can only offer a noncommittal hum in response, realizing that any words he might speak would only add to the inappropriate nature of their conversation.

"Alright, so what does this mean for you, Steve?" Robin asks, curiosity gleaming in her eyes. "Is this going to change how you deal with your family?" She pauses briefly before adding, "And what about your inheritance?"

Steve offers a slight shrug, his expression turning pensive. "I'm not entirely sure yet, Robs," he begins, his tone serious despite the lingering excitement from their earlier celebration. "I mean, I guess it means I don't have to deal with her anymore, which is definitely a relief. But as for the rest of the family, I don't know. They've never been particularly warm or welcoming to me, you know that. I mean, you’ve been there when they wanted to send me to a psychiatrist to help me get over being queer. I doubt they've changed much since then."

Robin nods in understanding, recalling the numerous tales Steve had shared about his family's cold demeanor and their refusal to accept him for who he is. She reaches out, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I mean, you know she was loaded. So yeah, there is an inheritance, but -" Steve continues, his gaze distant as he contemplates the implications. "There's a condition in Grandma Harrington's will. I can only inherit if I marry someone.”

Robin's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Marry? Seriously? That seems archaic, unfair, and downright manipulative."

Steve lets out a wry chuckle. "Tell me about it. Grandma always did enjoy her control games. It's probably her way of trying to mold me into the perfect, straight grandson."

"You've got to be kidding me! Seriously? You... what, have to marry some woman so you can be the perfectly acceptable heterosexual son and grandson your family always wanted? Fuck off!" Despite the heavy topic, Steve can't help but smile at Robin's outrage on his behalf. He could always count on her. After all, she was there to pick up the pieces when his parents told him in no uncertain terms to either learn to be straight or leave.

He left and lived with the Buckleys until Robin graduated and they moved to Chicago together. It was the best decision he could have made, even if it still hurts some days.

For a moment, they both fall silent, each lost in their thoughts. Then Robin squeezes his hand again. "We'll figure it out, Steve. We always do. And hey, maybe this is the perfect opportunity to really stick it to them."

"What do you mean?"

A devilish grin spreads across Robin's face. "Tell me, does her will say that you have to marry someone, or that you have to marry a woman to get your inheritance?"

Oh.

Oh.

Steve looks at Robin, his eyes wide with sudden understanding. “You’re a genius, Buckley,” he says, grinning. “I think it’s time for us to pay my attorney a visit.”

Turns out Robin is right. It seems that Grandma Harrington wrote her will at a time when gay marriage was still illegal in most states, and never thought to change it after the courts made it legal in Indiana and Illinois in 2014.

Steve's lawyer, who he honestly couldn't afford if it wasn't for the fact that she was an old family friend, agreed to help him pro bono just to give his bigoted parents the middle finger, as her sister was a lesbian. She said that the requirements of the will would be met if Steve married a woman as well as a man. As long as it was a legally recognized marriage, he would get close to half a million dollars. Enough to pay for Max's education, the rest of Robin's student loans, and maybe even a small house here in Chicago for him and Max once she was done with college and wanted to live with him until she was ready to be on her own.

The only problem was that Steve didn't have anyone to marry, woman or man.

His last serious relationship had been in high school, for crying out loud. Not for lack of trying. Steve loved love, but love apparently didn't love Steve back. Robin insists that's because he's sabotaging himself. She thinks deep down he's afraid of getting hurt again, so he only falls for people who a) he can't have or b) are a terrible match outside the bedroom.

She might have a point, he thinks in his more introspective moments. He has no shortage of options, and he always finds someone to hook up with, but he rarely makes it past the second date.

"Maybe you could hire someone?" Robin suggests, sipping her Dirty Shirley. After seeing John for some legal advice, they had gone straight to their favorite bar to hold a strategic summit over drinks.

So far, they have only made it to the drinking part.

Sighing deeply, Steve considers the idea for a second before shaking his head vehemently. "No way. I'm not paying some stranger to marry me. It's probably illegal anyway, and it sounds a lot like prostitution."

He knows it's the wrong thing to say when Robin raises an unimpressed eyebrow at him. "And what, Steven, is wrong with prostitution?"

"Nothing. Nothing’s wrong with it. A job like any other job,” he hastily assures her.

His answer seems to satisfy her and he knows she's right. It's just that sometimes the things he's been raised to believe, thanks to his extremely conservative parents, are hard to leave behind. They have a tendency to bubble back to the surface when he least expects it.

"That's what I thought. But I get it, it feels wrong to pay someone to marry you."

"Exactly. And I mean, it's about trust. Who guarantees that they won't double-cross me somehow and run off with all the money? I can't risk that."

He looks over at his best friend, his platonic soul mate, whom he trusts with his life and, more importantly, his little sister's life. Right now, he thinks, there’s only one person he could imagine being married to.

"How about we get married?"

He regrets it as soon as he asks.

Not because he thinks Robin wouldn’t do it, but because of the two of them, she is the one in a loving, stable relationship that could very well end in marriage one day. It's unfair of him to put her in a situation where she feels like she has to choose between Steve and Chrissy.

Worst of all, he knows she still wants to say yes to him. He can see it in the soft, sad way she looks at him. They both know they'll spend the rest of their lives together anyway. The simple truth of both their lives is that they would do anything for each other, walk through fire, face any horror the world could throw at them, just to see each other happy. And it's not like they couldn't get a divorce later, so Robin could still marry Chrissy, sure. But it would take something from her.

"Steve, I -"

"No, wait, don't answer that. It was a stupid idea, I shouldn't -"

"It's not stupid, it's just -"

As they talk over each other, their voices clash until they both instinctively reach over, silencing each other with a hand over their mouths at the same time. Their wide-eyed surprise quickly gives way to laughter as they realize the absurdity of the situation.

Steve is the first to recover from their fit of laughter, quickly sobering up to reassure Robin in a mild voice. "Seriously, Robs, I shouldn't have asked you to do this because it puts you in a shitty position. I know how much you love Chrissy and it wouldn't be fair to either of you. Especially when the two of you could finally get legally married. I don't want to take that away from you and make you agree to a fake heterosexual marriage like it was the 80's."

She looks at him with her big blue eyes, impossibly soft, and takes his hand in hers.

"Steve," she begins, her voice as gentle as her gaze, "thank you. For getting it, I mean. It wouldn't be all fake, though. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. But you're right, I'm not in love with you and you're not in love with me. And we both deserve to marry someone we feel that way about. In a perfect world, we would. I mean, I don't even know if Chrissy would ever want to marry me, but," Robin stops here, her eyes widening in sudden realization. "Oh my God, Steve!" Robin cries out in excitement and wonder, her reaction clearly colored by the strong cocktails their favorite bar always provided, before her voice becomes softer again, but no less wondrous. "I really want to marry her. I want to marry Chrissy so badly, Steve, I can't believe I didn't know.”

"And I can't believe you're realizing this after I asked you to marry me. Way to keep a guy's ego in check," Steve jokes with a big grin on his face. It's less news to him than it is to Robin, to be honest. Ever since Robin stumbled into their apartment with a piece of paper in her hand with a number on it, gushing about the gorgeous woman she had just met at the bookstore where she works, Steve knew his best friend was completely smitten with Chrissy Cunningham. That was four years ago, and they are still going strong, obviously madly in love.

She throws her arms around him and says, "I'm sorry," not sounding sorry at all, still giddy with her newfound realization. "I'll make it up to you. I actually might have an idea how we can get you your inheritance and still stick it to Grandma Harrington."

"I sense a but."

"But I can't guarantee it'll work."

"And..."

"And you might not like it at first, but honestly, it's genius, you just have to trust me. And if it really doesn't work out, then we'll get married and you'll pay for my 'I'm-sorry-I-love-you-please-stay-with-me-even-though-I'm-fake-marrying-my-best-friend' vacation with Chrissy. And the divorce."

Maybe it's the three beers he's already had, or maybe it's the fact that Robin would actually marry him just to help him out that makes him agree. He's sure he'll regret it along the way, but maybe he should take a leap of faith. If it doesn't work out, then it doesn't. No way to find out but to try.

Drunk Steve is clearly an optimist.

"I feel like I'm going to regret this, but all right. What's your plan?"

Robin grins mischievously, her eyes gleaming with excitement as she leans back, holding Steve at arm's length.

"Steve Harrington, you won't regret this, I promise," she declares, her tone brimming with confidence.

Steve rolls his eyes good-naturedly, unable to suppress a chuckle at Robin's enthusiasm. "I'll hold you to that, Robin. But seriously, when do I get to know the master plan?"

Robin's grin widens, but then she sobers slightly, a hint of seriousness creeping into her expression. "I need to talk to Chrissy first. It's... complicated. But I'll tell you everything as soon as I can, I promise."

Steve nods, a mixture of curiosity and apprehension swirling inside him. "Okay, fine. Just... don't keep me waiting too long, okay? I've had enough surprises for one night."

Robin reaches out, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "I won't, Steve. Trust me, this is going to work out. You'll see."

Despite his lingering doubts, Steve can't help but be swayed by Robin's unwavering confidence. With a nod, he squeezes her hand back, a silent agreement passing between them. Whatever Robin's plan entails, he knows his best friend has his back. And maybe, hopefully, they'll come out on top after all.

Drunk Steve should not be allowed to make any decisions, sober Steve decides.

Because he instantly regrets trusting Robin's secretive plan as soon as he steps into their apartment a week later, only to find not just Robin, but also her girlfriend Chrissy and Chrissy's best friend and roommate Eddie lounging in their living room.

All eyes turn towards him as he enters.

Robin's expression is the most transparent. Though the furrow between her brows is subtle, her lip-chewing and rhythmic tapping betray her worry, likely anticipating his reaction to whatever scheme they've concocted.

Chrissy, on the other hand, wears a radiant smile, her bubbly demeanor suggesting she's delighted about something. Yet, Steve can't shake the feeling that her enthusiasm might spell trouble. While he adores Chrissy and cherishes her friendship almost as much as he does Robin’s, he's well aware of her propensity for stirring up mischief.

Their shared history stretches back almost as far as hers and Robin's. It's a tradition for Robin and him to introduce their second dates to each other, one of their many platonic soulmate privileges. Steve often wonders if this practice inadvertently sabotages any chances of a third date, but he's unwilling to compromise on the importance of his friendship with Robin.

In any case, if someone can't accept his slightly unconventional bond with his best friend, they're probably not the right fit for him anyway.

Eddie's expression proves the most enigmatic. He appears utterly deer-in-the-headlights, his wide brown eyes resembling those of a startled doe. His usually pale complexion now seems even more ghostly. Steve notices how Eddie's fingers have been incessantly tousling his hair, rendering his dark curls resembling more of a chaotic bird's nest. Steve recognizes this as one of Eddie's nervous ticks, alongside fidgeting and rambling. His suspicions of Eddie's unease appear justified as Eddie avoids meeting Steve's gaze, opting instead to stare down at his hands, absently toying with his rings.

Something is going on and Steve has a sinking feeling that he won't like it.

"Um, hi?" He offers tentatively, his gaze flitting between Robin, Chrissy, and the nervously fidgeting Eddie. "Am I missing something here? Is this an early birthday surprise? Because if it is, I hate to break it to you, but my birthday's not for another nine months."

Before Robin can respond, Eddie interjects, his words tumbling out in a rush. "Hey, Steve! Yeah, it's been a while, hasn't it? Nah, no birthday party, man. We definitely know when your birthday is!"

"We do?" Chrissy chimes in with a playful grin, clearly jesting, as Steve knows she's the one who meticulously keeps track of important dates in their circle.

Eddie, caught off guard by Chrissy's banter, stumbles over his words. "Uh, yeah, of course! February 23rd. Remember that baseball-themed cake from last year? I almost dropped it on the icy ground!"

Steve remembers it too, mostly because he was so chuffed to learn that in order to save his cake, Eddie had taken the fall instead, choosing to land on his admittedly not very well padded backside so that the cake could live. He had been unable to sit properly at their little gathering all evening. Steve had felt sorry for him, but also fond in the face of Eddie's sacrifice for him.

"It's so good to see you, Steve. You look great today, that shirt really makes your eyes pop. Doesn't it, Eddie?" Chrissy gushes, nudging Eddie's side as he just stares at Steve in a way that makes Steve worry that he's about to go into cardiac arrest.

Eddie's mouth opens and closes like a fish. "Um..."

"Okay, what's going on, Robin?" Steve turns to the only person who doesn't act like she's on drugs or caught red-handed at a crime scene. Or both.

Robin, bless her soul, doesn't beat around the bush. "I told you I had a plan. This," and she points to Eddie of all people, "is my plan."

"That's Eddie," Steve states the obvious, but he feels he can't be blamed. Nothing makes sense, so he's glad for every single thing he knows. Then the rest of her statement sinks in.

Blinking at her, his eyes wide, he says the first thing that comes to mind. "You can't be serious!"

There's no way she's saying what he thinks she's saying. Because right now it looks like her plan to help him get his inheritance involves marrying Eddie. Which, no. No, no, no, no. Not Eddie. Maybe she means some other plan that Steve has forgotten. Like Eddie helping him with Dustin's birthday surprise, which sounded much more likely than -

"I told you he didn't want to marry me," Eddie's voice sounds loud in the stunned silence after Steve's reaction. "This was a stupid idea, I don't even know what I was thinking." Then, addressing Steve with his eyes somewhere to Steve's right, "Listen, man, I'm sorry. I totally get it, no hard feelings, okay? I wouldn't want to marry me either."

The wry chuckle doesn't sit well with Steve, nor does the way Eddie still refuses to meet his eyes, or the fact that he's started walking toward their front door. Before he can think about it, his hand wraps around Eddie's arm as he passes Steve on his way out.

"Eddie, wait." Eddie does, looking at Steve's hand wrapped around his forearm. Steve's grip isn't tight, so Eddie could easily break free, but he doesn't. He just looks, quietly waiting. Still not meeting Steve's eyes.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I was just surprised, okay? A little warning would have been nice." The last part is mostly for Robin, who at least does look contrite at his words.

"It's fine, Steve, really. Don't worry about it. Now, if you'll excuse me. Places to be, things to do, see you when I see you, you know the drill."

Steve could let him go, maybe should let him go, because Eddie is obviously embarrassed and the whole situation has gone south anyway. But Eddie doesn't sound fine, and Steve feels terrible about his lack of a brain-to-mouth filter. Something that is usually Robin's specialty.

So instead of letting Eddie walk out of the apartment, Steve steps in front of him to block his way. "Eddie, please wait. I really didn't mean it the way you think I did, you have to believe me. You're a catch, okay? Anybody would be lucky to marry you."

And okay, wow, he didn't mean to say that, but it's the truth.

"You really mean that?" Eddie asks, pulling a strand of hair in front of his mouth. It looks incredibly cute and Steve wants to kill Robin for putting him in this position. She had said that he would not like her plan and that should have been reason enough for him to stop her. Because now he's between a rock and a hard place.

Either he lies and lets Eddie walk away thinking he's not good enough to be married, even if it is a scam to get his grandmother's inheritance. Or he tells the truth and risks getting his heart broken or their friendship ruined.

Because the thing is, Steve means every word. Steve has had a crush on Eddie for years. He's been able to keep those feelings in check because he and Eddie never spend time alone together. It's always group hangouts, or Eddie being there when he and Robin visit Chrissy, or Eddie joining them when they meet at their apartment. It also helps that Eddie keeps his distance from him. Sure, he's nice enough to Steve, but every time Steve tried to get close to the other man, his efforts were rebuked until he got the memo and stopped trying.

Before he can come to a decision, Robin steps in.

“I’m sorry we’re springing this on you, Steve. I could’ve prepared this a little bit better but Chrissy and I were so excited that we found the perfect solution, we couldn’t wait any longer.”

“And this is the perfect solution,” Chrissy jumps in, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Tell him Robin!”

Infected by Chrissy's enthusiasm, Robin’s voice carries an equally excited note. “You said it yourself, you’d need someone we can trust. And you trust Eddie, don’t you?”

Steve can feel Eddie’s eyes on him. “Of course I do.” He doesn’t miss the sharp intake of breath next to him at his decisive tone. Eddie’s a great guy, him rejecting Steve’s advances doesn’t change that.

Of course he trusts him because Eddie never gave him any reason not to.

But he remembers the stories Chrissy told them to explain why Eddie was a little wary of Steve. Apparently, Eddie didn't have it easy growing up. Chrissy wouldn't go into details because it's Eddie's story to tell, but she did mention that people used to treat Eddie like a criminal, a fuckup, trailer trash. Especially the jocks and rich kids at their high school, so since Steve was kind of both, Eddie had been wary of him.

So much so that Steve had overheard Eddie asking Chrissy once, early in her relationship with Robin, why Robin kept bringing that rich asshole jock over all the time. The words had hurt, but Chrissy's explanation had softened the blow. Still, he'd stopped trying to flirt with Eddie after that because he'd figured that even if Eddie came to accept him, he'd never be interested in going out with someone who reminded him so much of all the bullies in high school who had made his life a living hell.

All of which makes it easy to see how Steve's implicit trust could come as such a surprise to him. Which still kind of stings, because Steve had hoped that the last four years had shown Eddie that Steve was not what Eddie expected him to be just because he grew up rich and popular and into sports.

Before he can get lost in his thoughts about Eddie and what he has to do to earn Eddie's trust the way Eddie has his, Chrissy chimes in again, raising a finger. "So you trust Eddie. That's like the most important thing. Second," she raises another finger, making a playful peace sign in their direction, "Eddie's single. Not like Robin."

Ah, okay, Steve can see why Chrissy is so excited about her and Robin's 'plan'.

"'m sorry, Chrissy, for proposing to your girlfriend," Steve sheepishly apologizes, giving her a crooked smile, which she returns with a sunny one of her own.

"No hard feelings. I get it, believe me. Being with Robin means being stuck with you. Just like Robin is stuck with Eddie. Which is the third reason why this is a great idea," she adds, raising another finger. "We all spend a lot of time together already. Nothing really needs to change."

Aside from the fact that Steve secretly wishes things could change between him and Eddie, he's not so sure that's true. But to argue her point would mean revealing more about his feelings than he's comfortable with, so he lets it slide for now.

Objectively, Steve knows they're right. If he didn't still feel... something for Eddie, he probably wouldn't even hesitate. Because yes, he trusts Eddie not to screw him over, and he's also a close acquaintance who's been teetering on the edge of being a real friend for years. But he's also the reason Steve had to leave last year's Friendsgiving party early because Eddie showed up with some guy who couldn't keep his sleazy hands off of him. It drove Steve crazy to see someone else have what he wanted so badly.

In the end, it is the thought of being able to give Max all the chances she deserves that finally makes him look back at Eddie.

"And you're sure you want to do this? Fake marry me, I mean. Because, Eddie... I can't tell you how much I appreciate you being willing to do this to help me out, but... you don't have to do this, okay? It's not your mess or your fucked up family, it's mine."

Finally, Eddie is looking back at him, meeting his eyes.

"I do. Wanna do this, I mean. I know I don't have to, but -" Here Eddie pauses, apparently searching for the right words. After a few seconds he breathes a sigh and continues. "Look, for once, I love the idea of sticking it to an old homophobic hag, so that's a big incentive. Also, I was actually hoping you could help me out as well. Because there's this amazing record store that's for sale, but the bank refuses to give me a loan unless I have some kind of collateral. So I'm kind of hoping that being married will sway them."

At Steve's surprised look, Eddie hastens to add, "I don't want your money! That's for you and Max. Just the fact that I'm married to someone with money will probably be enough. And we can totally do a prenup or something like that."

Eddie sounds anxious, like he's afraid he's said something wrong, when in fact he's doing Steve a huge favor and asking for something incredibly small in return. Steve thinks he can't be blamed at this point, he just has to touch Eddie. So he does, pulling him into a tight hug.

"Thank you, Eddie. Really. Of course we can go to your bank and convince them to give you the loan. It's the least I can do to thank you."

It feels good to be holding Eddie like this, even more so when, after a moment's hesitation, Eddie hugs him back. Even though they've known each other for years, Steve can count the times they've done this on one hand. It's never lasted this long either, and Steve can't suppress his disappointment when Robin interrupts the quiet moment by clapping her hands excitedly, causing Eddie to pull away.

"Oh, I'm so glad we worked it out. Go us!"

Chrissy, just as excited, jumps up and down next to Robin. "I'm so happy for you guys! We can totally help you plan the wedding. It's going to be great, I know it."

Steve and Eddie look at each other in growing confusion.

"Chris," Eddie begins, his voice careful. He's clearly more experienced in dealing with an overly excited Chrissy, so Steve lets him take the lead. "You do realize that Steve and I are only getting married on paper, right? I don't think -"

"You can still have a wedding!" Chrissy interrupts, clearly not deterred by anything silly like pragmatism or logic. "It's still a special day, and you deserve to celebrate it with your friends and family."

Before Steve can say anything - what, he has no idea - Robin jumps in on the ‘you should have a real wedding’ party.

"Besides, it has to look real, right? Why wouldn't you have a real wedding if you were getting married? Everyone would wonder. It's just easier to pull out all the stops and make it look as real as possible so no one will question it."

And that... actually made a lot of sense. Goddammit.

Looking at Eddie with an apologetic look on his face, Steve says, "I guess she's right," and shrugs his shoulders in a ‘I wish she wasn't, but what can you do’ kind of way. Eddie, to his credit, just sighs and nods, accepting his fate with as much grace as he can. He glances at Chrissy, who is almost vibrating.

"Fine. Chris, do you want to help us plan a wedding?"

She actually squeals. "Yes, yes, yes!" Then she rushes over and pulls them into a group hug.

Steve, looking over Chrissy's head at Robin, opens his arm. "Come here, Buckley." It's all the invitation Robin needs to join their celebratory hug.

For just this moment, Steve allows himself to feel as if this is all real, him and Eddie announcing their wedding and their two best friends in the whole world sharing in their happiness. It's a nice feeling, and when he leans his head on Robin's shoulder and looks at Eddie, he finds him looking back with the same soft smile on his face as the one Steve thinks must be on his own.

[nekropsii]

asking you this since you’re the only person who understands mituna in the entire fandom in my perception of the hs fandom

is it okay to headcanon mituna as autistic? sorry if you get this type of ask a lot/have already answered this type of ask

Instead of answering this question, I will give some food for thought: Mituna has a TBI. He has Brain Damage. This is a core element of his character. Probably the biggest one. In fact, it's so important to him that it's an injury that has remained with him in death. His TBI is a huge, huge part of what makes him... Well, him. It's why he's interesting.

So... Why is a need felt to also declare him as Autistic? Assuming this is a projection thing, since it tends to be most of the time - if you relate to him for his already canonical Neurodivergency, which is Brain Damage, why does one need to give him Autism as well?

Oftentimes when people headcanon him as Autistic, they tend to minimize or even outright erase his TBI. Oftentimes, people say he's Autistic as the reason he's canon Neurodivergent representation... Even though he's shown no real signs of it, but instead is fully written as a character with a Frontal Lobe Injury, and is constantly stated to have Brain Damage.

TBIs and other Neurodivergencies are often seen as less palatable than Autism. On Tumblr especially, it's far more "acceptable" to be Autistic or ADHD or headcanon a character as such than it is to have Brain Damage or literally any other Neurodivergency or acknowledge that a character is written with those. Autism and ADHD are seen as cute and relatable - even though they're very complex and at times devastating disabilities that do have the potential to seriously fuck up your livelihood, much like Depression and Anxiety, and I'm saying this as someone who has and struggles with all 4 - and are often used to erase the presence of other Neurodivergencies. Hell, it's to the point where people use "Neurodivergency" as a synonym for ADHD and Autism.

Again, I'm not going to answer this question for you. I think there's a way someone could potentially make the narrative of Mituna having Autism prior to the TBI compelling - the TBI has essentially stripped him of his ability to mask, after all, so one could make it be a situation where some of these symptoms are ones he already had, but is only just now really getting shit for because he's no longer able to hide it, and part of that tragedy is knowing that had he never been good at masking, his "friends" would have never accepted him. You could get some interesting questions about that. Was the repression worth it? Would it have been better if he'd just been himself the whole time? I think it's extremely valuable to ask yourself why you see any character as any specific minority - necessary, even - and how that affects not only the character's writing in its original text, but also your relationship with said character. Consider optics. Consider the way in which this character is meant to function in the source material. What purpose do they serve, and what is the driving force behind this character? Is Occam's Razor applicable? Are there other explanations as to why they are the way they are? Perhaps ones that are more succinct, and cover more ground?

Yesterday, I watched a film that has provoked a response in Tumblr that I think is applicable. I Saw The TV Glow. It's a film about a Trans Girl who never finds the strength to accept herself or come out. It's an incredibly gut-wrenching watch. It made me cry several times, and there are parts that made me feel a deep pain in my chest. I sat through 95% of the film with a pit in my stomach. I had to lay on the floor in the dark for a while after I finished. There's a scene where the main character is asked whether she likes girls or boys. She says she thinks she likes TV shows, and elaborates by saying that every time she tries to think about that kind of thing, it feels like someone's cutting her open and shoveling out her insides until there's nothing left. Not that there was anything in there to start with, of course - she says she knows there isn't, but she's too scared to look for herself and see.

That scene was about how Gender Dysphoria can completely disrupt your sexuality and repulse you from the thought of that level of connection with others, because it is, in essence, a deep disturbance with the nature of who you are as a person. Many people who are Asexual, or Aromantic, or both, related to that scene because it, on the surface, depicts discomfort with romance and sexuality. What they failed to understand by chalking it up to its own sexuality, is the fact that that scene wasn't depicting a Sex-Repulsed Asexual, or a Romance-Repulsed Aromantic, it was depicting a Trans Girl who is at such deep odds with herself and her identity that she cannot grapple with the concept of loving or being loved.

What, functionally, is the purpose of slapping an extraneous label onto a character that is meant to depict a certain thing? What is the purpose of assigning the label of "Autistic" to a character meant to depict the tragedy of a loss of support after gaining a disability, or "Aromantic" or "Asexual" to a character meant to depict a deep internal struggle with unresolved Gender Dysphoria?

Ask yourself these questions, and carry on from there. See where your mind takes you.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

The Man 11

Warnings: non/dubcon, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Lloyd Hansen

Summary: a demanding customer complicates more than your work life.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You half smile and half cringe. Oh boy. He wants you to do that. With him there. Well, you never really did it with an audience. You’re more of a loner when it comes to... cumming. 

You let out a brittle chuckle, “sir, that’s... you know, I think I’m pretty good. I got lots of action today--” 

“I’m not asking,” his voice is dusky and makes your chest thump. Wow. Okay, you can see for a split second how he might be attractive. If you just photoshop the caterpillar off his lip with your mind Adobe. 

“I understand but what if I just focused on you, sir. You seem to enjoy that--” 

“Don’t make me repeat myself. It’s getting old. Fast.” 

“Sure, that’s fair, I hate a broken record,” you gulp and look down then back up, squinting as you smile with a strain in your cheeks. “So, like down here or... it’s a bit tight...” you sheepishly show your teeth then laugh for real as the joke bubbles in your mind. You can’t help but let it free, “that’s what she said.” 

He blinks and looks at the ceiling then down again. He sits back in his chair, legs wide, hands on his thighs. 

“Get on the desk,” he orders. 

You inhale and steel yourself. This is a lot. You think you’ve been handling things well. One thing in particular but you don’t know how much more you can take. Today has been intense. What time is it? 

You move forward, once more face to face with his crotch before you manage to plant a foot and stand. His eyes flick down and he hums. You turn slowly and try to see the corner of his screen. Holy, it’s not even three o’clock. 

“What the hell are you looking at?” He snarls. 

“Nothing, sir, promise--” 

“Turn it off.” 

You should say the same thing about his dick. You keep your mouth closed and press the button to black the monitor. You put your hands on the desk and carefully slide his delicate keyboard and mouse aside. They’re so light you nearly toss them. You shake your head. 

“What?” He sneers. 

“It’s just, sir, Apple products are made to break. This keyboard feels like a wafer.” 

“This isn’t what we’re doing right now. Focus.” 

“I’m focused,” you whine and consider the desk. This glass better be sturdy. 

You lift one knee, then the other. You don’t like this. It's like crossing ice; tenuous and just as cold. He clicks his tongue. 

“You know, you don’t got a bad ass considering,” he mutters. 

You should thank him. It’s a real compliment. All those squats you do when the shop slows down are paying off. You’re too frazzled to do much more than turn over and sit facing him. As hot as this might seem in his head, the logistics are not easy. Or safe. 

You glance around and frown, “sir, what if I break--” 

“You keep talking, and I’ll break something on you,” he swivels the chair slightly as his hand crawls up his pantleg. 

“Got it, okay, so...” you bend your legs, putting your feet on the glass and wiggles your toes.  

You slowly pull your thighs apart. You tremble as the cool air slips between them and grazes your cunt. Your ears are burning and your skull is pounding. You’re dizzy. This desk is really high up. You could fall and crack your head open. 

“Take your fucking time,” he growls. 

“Sir, I got a bit of stage fright here,” you squeak, “I never really... you know, in front of someone.” 

“No use being shy when you had me down your throat twice today,” he reprimands. 

“Fair,” you tilts your head, “that’s a good point.” You look down at your body and reach down between your legs. You blow out between your lips, almost whistling as some of the tension seeps out. “That’s helpful advice, actually.” 

He sighs and you seal your lips. You nod and close your eyes. You can do this. How many times have you done this? Well, maybe you shouldn’t be proud of that.  

You feel down your tummy and along your pelvis. Goosebumps rise and you shiver, leaning back on your other hands as your feet arch against the edge of the desk. You feel along your coily hair and delve between your tender folds. You’re wet but that’s better than the alternative. You’d rather this not last forever. 

You press down on your clit and take a deep breath. You let it out slow as you trace the sensitive bud and hum. Alright, gotta get the rhythm. You’re thinking too much. Stop that. 

Wait, no. You need to think. You need to picture something. This is too much pressure. Knowing he’s watching you, you have to think of anything else. Of someone. Someone sexy. You gotta get the motor going. 

You ease back onto your elbow as the heat begins to flow. You picture this burly guy you saw down at the sandwich shop. You don’t quite have the clear picture of him but he was tall and thick and he had some nice eyes. He also looks pretty grumpy but he could probably channel that energy into some good hip action. 

Okay, back to the point. You put together the fantasy; thick arms, hairy chest, throaty grunts, and a big... yeah. That’s it. Your fingers swirl faster, slippery as your excitement builds. You moan and tilt your head back. You’re almost there. 

You flick your fingers up and down, your thighs quivering. You gotta give this guy a name. Something sexy. Gene? No, ew, that’s not it. Hm. Oh, yes, Adam? The first man. The epitome of maleness. 

You squeak as your breath hitches and your lashes flutter. Your toes curl and you put your head forward as the tension winds tight and all at once, unleashes. You quake and drone out madly, head lolling as you fight to keep your fingers moving. You feel your orgasm flowing from you, wetting your cunt and the creases of your thighs. Fuck... 

Suddenly, your land on your back. The glass braces and you wait for a crack. Lloyd pins you by your neck. He swats your hand away from your cunt and frames your entrance with two long fingers. He drags them up, rubbing your buzzing clit as you squirm. 

“Oh, Adam,” you burst out and your eyes snap open in horror. You didn’t mean to let that out. 

“Adam?” He growls as he stops, squeezing your throat tighter, “who the fuck is Adam?” 

You touch his wrist, “I meant... Floyd?” 

[agoddamn]

Visually, Jade Shadows is a home run. Musically it's a killer. Just great.

If you already buy into the underlying assumptions the story is predicated on--what a mother's role is, what a woman's dream is, what things about the human condition are so natural and inherent that they don't need to be explained--it's gonna be a hit with you because the packaging is gorgeous. You wrote the story yourself, essentially.

All stories are like this to a degree, of course. I'm not demanding some CinemaSins level of excruciating detail. All stories and all characters are just concepts, vehicles for ideas. Jade is a vehicle for the concept of a dead mother. Stalker is a vehicle for the concepts of regret and revenge. These are fine by themselves.

The problem is that they don't go anywhere past concept.

Why is Jade so desperate to keep the baby even though she knows it's a bad idea? That's an interesting character hook. That's a hard choice that women all over the world make all the time.

Women in poverty, war, addiction, sickness--they choose to have a baby even when they know they don't have the resources. There's a hundred million different reasons why and they're neither good nor evil. What they are is illuminating of the women and other people deciding to give birth. They're important, foundational to their identities.

So why does Jade make that decision?

She's a mother. She loves her baby.

Ok, but why is she having it when she knows it's going to be hurt?

She loves her baby because she's a mother because she's a woman.

We're in a tautological loop where all our answers are self-defining. Why does she want to be a mother? Because she's a woman and that's how women love.

It's possible that Jade was desperate to have the baby because she was fed up with death. Maybe she was tired of Orokin control. Maybe she dreamed of rebellion. Maybe her body had already been so modified that she simply could not stand one more intervention.

All of these are interesting potential character hooks and none of them are in the quest.

What is in the quest is "Sorren. You're going to be a father," and Jade's own apparent decision to choose death. That's all we have to go on. That's all we got.

[quotergirl19]

A little commentary on fighting with friends in Bridgerton.

Season 2:

Eloise finds out that her friend Penelope is Whistledown; she’s heartbroken and furious and confronts her. Penelope tearfully admits the truth and her reasoning, confessing to Eloise that she has been hiding this secret but she was also sincerely trying to protect her. Eloise is not ready to forgive her, it’s too big a revelation; she’s disgusted, angry and unforgiving. Penelope reacts badly to Eloise’s cruelty by accusing her of being jealous of her accomplishment because Lady Whistledown is an undeniable success and Penelope has actually done something remarkable while Eloise is all talk. In response, Eloise ends their friendship. Months pass and it still pains them both visibly. They both clearly feel the loss and struggle with it.

Season 3:

Cressida publicly declares herself to be Whistledown. Eloise reminds her that Whistledown wrote about her ruinously (even though Eloise secretly knows that Cressida is only impersonating Whistledown and trying to claim what is actually Penelope’s life’s work as the anonymous columnist). Cressida has no excuse or rationale, she instead tries to dismiss what happened to Eloise and entice her to write the column with her. Eloise has no interest in associating with someone so dishonest and cruel, who would claim someone else’s hard work and accomplishments. She is disgusted, angry and unforgiving. Cressida nastily responds almost exactly the way Penelope did, accusing Eloise of being jealous of the success of Whistledown because all Eloise does is talk. This time Eloise confesses that she is jealous of Whistledown because she is an undeniable success. The difference here is that Cressida hasn’t actually accomplished anything so Eloise pretends to congratulate her on her hard earned success and ends their soured and short lived friendship. Cressida regrets turning on Eloise. Eloise recognizes that Cressida has some redeeming qualities but has no interest in rekindling that fickle friendship.

I genuinely appreciate these extremely similar situations and conversations and the way they highlight the differences between these two friendships. One is long standing and developed over time. The hurt over losing a close relationship is felt deeply by both Eloise and Penelope but because there’s so many years of love and trust between them, that this one big secret is enough to leave a scar but ultimately not enough to erase the bond between them. That is what makes forgiveness possible.

But the friendship between Eloise and Cressida is new. It lacks the sort of trust needed to withstand distrust and dishonesty. So when Cressida claims responsibility for Whistledown’s slander, and Eloise knows Cressida is lying to her, we as viewers know there’s little to no chance for reconciliation between them. The sad part is that Cressida is genuinely in need of a true and loyal friend but her home life and experiences have taught her that she needs to look out for herself. Cressida’s lack of honesty and openness hinders any potential growth and trust between her and Eloise so her deceitful actions and hurtful words end up being the final nail in the coffin of what had potential to be a very important relationship for Cressida specifically. Eloise has a supportive family and a genuine friendship with someone who has grown as a person and who wants to do better. Understandably, Eloise has no desire to rekindle that friendship, making their rift more likely to never mend.

It’s good storytelling and well executed example of true friendship versus fair weather friendships or friendships of convenience. All together I really appreciated Cressida’s character development this season and hope she does end up with her own HEA, even if we never see it.

[olivia--laura]

Shadow's Embrace Ch.1

Sukuna x Reader

Disclaimer:

This is a work of fanfiction based on the universe of "Jujutsu Kaisen," created by Gege Akutami. The original manga, anime, and characters belong to their respective owners and creators.

Notes:

This story unfolds in the Jujutsu world, set in a slightly altered universe where Sukuna inhabits his own vessel distinct from Itadori Yuji's body, making him a separate entity.

Summary:

Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, becomes captivated by you—a female sorcerer overflowing with cursed energy and untapped potential, though still untrained and reckless.

Seeing you as a crucial asset for his destructive schemes, Sukuna seizes you, intent on bending your abilities to his will by forcing you into a contract. However, as he attempts to break your spirit, Sukuna finds himself drawn to your strength and unwavering resolve.

Gradually, Sukuna's interest in you shifts from a strategic advantage to something deeper and more personal. Meanwhile, your initial resistance starts to fade as you see glimpses of Sukuna's complexities beyond his malevolence, and an unexpected connection starts to form.

-----------------------------------------

INTRO

Sukuna had heard whispers in the shadows, rumors that stirred the depths of his domain—the existence of a powerful young sorcerer, a female with unrivaled potential, but little experience. It was said you had begun your studies at Jujutsu High, a place teeming with skilled Jujutsu sorcerers, just recently.

"She will be mine," Sukuna murmered to himself with a predatory glint in his crimson eyes. His plan was clear: to kidnap you, bind you in a contract that would force you to follow his every order. With your abilities at his disposal, he would infiltrate the ranks of Jujutsu sorcerers, and wreak havoc. He would use you as a cover to facilitate his evil plans.

The King of Curses smirked to himself as he traversed the boundary between his domain and the mortal realm. Jujutsu High lay ahead, a beacon of light amidst the encroaching darkness.

With silent steps, Ryomen Sukuna ventured deeper into the heart of the school, his senses attuned to the faintest trace of your cursed energy. Tonight, he would find you. And when he did, nothing would stand in the way of his dark ambitions.

CHAPTER 1 - That Unfortunate Night

After your first week at Jujutsu High, you lay sprawled across your dorm bed, exhaustion pulling at your every limb. Only a few months had passed since your cursed energy had suddenly manifested, expanding rapidly at an alarming pace.

Until then, your life had been tediously ordinary—a normal family, normal friends, and a sense of boredom that gnawed at your spirit. You couldn't shake the feeling that there had to be more to life than this. And as if your prayers had been heard, your life was suddenly thrown in a whole other direction.

Everything changed the day your best friend got caught up in an unfortunate incident, her life abruptly ending. Grief-stricken, you began sensing dark presences lurking in the shadows, just beyond your perception. At first, it was merely an eerie feeling, an aura of sorts, but soon, shadows and movements turned into tangible threats. You convinced yourself it was just the trauma of losing your friend playing tricks on your mind until the creatures became undeniable.

In moments of emotional turmoil, a strange power started surging within you, like an electric current. One fateful day, while walking down a crowded street, you bumped into a tall man with vibrant white hair and darkened round sunglasses, his compelling blue eyes hidden behind them. The jolt at his touch was unlike anything you'd felt before. He looked at you with an expression of amused curiosity, as if he knew exactly what had happened to cause the jolt.

This man, Gojo, began bombarding you with questions that were weirdly specific, as if he already knew your story—the strange sightings, the sensations coursing through your body, the surges that came with emotional turmoil.

Through him, you were introduced to the hidden world of curses and Jujutsu Sorcery. Despite your age of twenty-two, an anomaly among the typically younger students, Gojo ensured you were admitted to Jujutsu High, emphasizing how exceptional your acceptance was.

Now, as you lay in your dorm, the weight of this new reality pressed upon you. You closed your eyes, trying to calm your racing thoughts. The stark contrast between your own ignorance and the other students’ extensive knowledge of curses gnawed at you. They wielded their cursed energy with a measure of control and confidence, while you struggled to grasp even the basics.

But you were determined. Resolute in your desire to control and tame the energy within you, you held onto the hope that one day, you could prevent others from suffering the same fate as your dear friend.

Unbeknownst to you, your own fate was about to be in jeopordy, as Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, was drawing closer.

You sighed deeply as you pulled the blanket up, hoping for a peaceful night's rest. However, just as you begin to drift off, a sense of unease prickles at your senses. Your eyelids flutter open, adrenaline flooding your veins.

A faint noise tickles your ears, barely audible yet unmistakably there. It seems to emanate from right outside your dorm room.

Your heart skips a beat as you sit up, eyes fixated on the door. The handle rattles with increasing urgency. You pray to yourself that someone has mistaken your room as their own, but when the lock gives away with a sudden, sharp pang. It dawns on you that this is no simple mistake.

The door creaks open slowly, letting in a ray of light from the dimly lit hallway beyond. A surge of overwhelming energy washes over you, suffocating and disorienting. It feels as if the very air around you thickens, making each breath a struggle.

Shadows seem to dance along the walls, and a chill runs down your spine. The room feels charged with a malevolent aura, unlike anything you've encountered before. Fear surged within you, yet alongside it, a resolute determination. With shaky breaths, you braced yourself.

A mysterious figure with a strong build walked in, his confident presence commanding the space. At first, it was hard to make out his features. But as the faint ray from the corridor landed upon him, you froze like a deer in headlights.

Though you weren't yet fully familiar with the world of curses and jujutsu, you had heard plenty about this man in your first week. Countless horrifying stories, drawings in books, and anecdotes filled your mind.

Ryomen Sukuna, the King of Curses, stood before you, his eyes gleaming with malicious intent. For a moment, you hoped to awaken from a bad dream, but every fiber in you knew this danger was all too real.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" Sukuna murmured, his voice dripping with condescension as he regarded you. "A lost little lamb, far from the flock."

He stepped closer, the air thick with his oppressive cursed energy. It felt as if the very oxygen was being sapped from the room, leaving you gasping for breath.

"I've heard whispers of your potential," Sukuna continued, his gaze raking over you with a mixture of intrigue and disdain. "A rare gem, they say, amidst the sea of mediocrity that plagues this place."

He tilted his head, a cruel smile curling his lips. "Tell me, little sorcerer, do you have any idea of the power that courses through your veins?" His voice was a low, seductive purr, but the underlying threat was unmistakable.

Suddenly Sukuna's hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around your throat with a vice-like grip. The pressure cut off your air supply, sending a jolt of panic through you. Your heart pounded as you wondered how Sukuna had managed to bypass all the security measures in the building.

"Do you feel it? The weight of my power pressing down on you?" he taunted, his voice laced with malicious delight. "This is but a fraction of what I can do."

You struggled to draw a breath, your hands clawing desperately at his iron grip, but it was futile. Sukuna's strength was beyond human strength.

His face inched closer, his hot breath caressing your cheek. "Perhaps, with the right... training, you could be of great use to me." The implication in his words sent a shiver of dread down your spine. "So, what will it be? Will you join me willingly, or do you want to have some fun first?"

Despite the fear consuming you, a spark of defiance flickered within. You had barely managed to control your cursed energy in the past week, but now, with adrenaline coursing through your veins, it felt almost natural to conjure it up. Desperation fueled your actions as you channeled the energy through your hands and shot a powerful blast at Sukuna.

His eyes widened momentarily as he felt the surge of your cursed energy manifesting. A faint smirk played on his lips, as if he had been anticipating this very reaction.

With lightning-fast reflexes, he released his grip on your throat, effortlessly deflecting your blast of cursed energy back at you with a casual wave of his hand. The blast sends you reeling backwards, colliding with the wall behind you.

"Impressive," Sukuna purred, his voice dripping with a sadistic pleasure as he stalked towards you. "But ultimately, futile."

He loomed over you, his towering presence casting an ominous shadow. "You dare to strike at the King of Curses, huh?" His lips curled into a cruel smile.

Sukuna's hand grasped your chin, forcing you to meet his gaze. "I admire your spirit, woman," he murmured, his touch surprisingly gentle, yet laced with an underlying threat. "But do not mistake my interest for weakness. You are nothing more than a pawn in my game."

Then his grip tightened, and you felt a flood of his cursed energy coursing through you, overwhelming your senses. "Now, submit to me."

With his hand still firmly on your chin, forcing you to look at him, you felt utterly disgusted by his display of power. You couldn't help yourself from glaring back in anger.

Surprised by your own unwavering defiance, you spat in his face. You knew you couldn't win, so the least you could do was oppose him until your last breath.

Sukuna's eyes narrowed dangerously as your saliva hit his face, a low, rumbling growl escaping his lips. The air crackled with his rising fury, the walls of the room trembling under the weight of his immense cursed energy.

"Insolent brat," he snarled, digging his nails into your jaw. "You dare to defy me?"

In a sudden, lightning-fast motion, Sukuna's free hand shot out, grabbing your wrist in a vice-like grip. You felt your bones grinding together, the agony searing through your nerves.

"I offered you a chance to submit, to serve me willingly," he hissed, his face mere inches from yours, his hot breath caressing your skin. "But it seems you require a more... persuasive approach."

With a swift, brutal twist, Sukuna snapped your wrist, the sickening crack echoing through the room. You cried out in agony, tears springing to your eyes.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing against your ear. "You will learn to fear me, little sorcerer. And when you do, you will beg for my mercy."

Sukuna watched with twisted satisfaction as the pain flickered across your face, your cries of anguish music to his ears. He relished the power he held over you, the ability to break your spirit with a mere flick of his wrist.

As you struggled against his grip, Sukuna's lips curled into a malevolent smirk. "Pathetic," he spat, his voice dripping with contempt. "Is this the extent of your resolve?"

With a swift, brutal motion, he struck you hard on the side of your head, the impact sending you reeling into the darkness of unconsciousness. Your limp body crumpled to the floor, a final testament to his overwhelming strength.

The last thing you heard before slipping away completely is Sukuna's voice, low and menacing. "When you awaken, you will realize the futility of resistance."

---------------------------------------------------------

Following chapters will be posted later

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

why did you tag your post with gaz erasure my ass? like what was hard to believe that the cod fandom has blatant patterns of purposefully removing the only black character and replacing him with everyone under the sun? your friend lied about killing themself to make them look like a victim. and you participated in harassing people who saw this for what it was. you need to step back and reflect on your own self on why you thought that your friend’s “death” was caused by people calling out patterns of anti black racism and then go on to harass them. you are not an ally by any means.

Back when I used that tag, I paired it with another tag right after, it was meant to be an aggressive call out on misinformation, I had meant for it to read as 'Gaz erasure my ass, y'all just can't read'.

(This because the original post didn't read like intentional erasure but rather like codslut thought Gaz didn't fit the post, since she also didn't use Reboot Soap, she used *Captain* Soap, idk how best to explain it but to me the two soaps are different characters so i figured it was an intentional choice to use him and keegan rather than reboot soap and gaz)

Edit: I want to add that I also used codslut's own explanation as the basis for why I didn't think it was erasure. And at this point, she's clearly not to be fucking trusted, so it wouldn't surprise me if it really *was* erasure/racism and I believed her word that it wasn't.

As time went on, I dropped the last part of the tag of 'y'all just can't read', and looking back it not only reads as a racist dog whistle but also, just in general, sounds and looks fucking disgusting.

I've said this before, but I think it warrants saying again: I *didn't* mean to say Gaz erasure doesn't exist. It does very much exist in the community and even Activision themselves often erase Gaz from promo materials.

I'd hate for people to think that I either dislike Gaz or don't see the blatant racism/dislike/erasure that happens with him on the community. That's not the case. Gaz is a main character (unlike König like so many people try to replace him with) who I absolutely adore, and I call out erasure when I see it here on Tumblr, on Tiktok and on Twitter.

I never meant to make it seem like Gaz erasure doesn't exist. I only wanted to call out misinformation... and ended up doing the exact opposite of both my intentions. I'm sorry about that. It was not just disgusting but full on stupid of me.

I also want to say that I didn't think that that screenshot post specifically or even the act of people calling out racism where they saw it was the cause for codslut possibly killing herself. That is not what I meant at all. And I don't want anyone to think I blame @soapskneebrace or @glossysoap or anyone else for that. Blood was never on their hands, I want to make that very clear!!!!

When I was confronting people, I was doing so on the basis that they're big creators with big platforms and that by accusing codslut of racism/erasure they opened the door for anons to justify their actions when going after codslut because they have so much reach and people with bad intentions need less than that to justify the hate they send people.

Looking back, I know I was in the wrong for how I spoke. I was aggressive and rude and mean, and none of the people involved deserve that. Hell, my actions were hypocritical as hell and I probably opened the door for them to get hate themselves. I'm really fucking sorry.

If I could take it back, I would. I never believed nor wanted them to believe that someone potentially harming themselves was their fault. It wasn't.

I do plan on taking a step back to reconsider not just the way I acted but everything that's happened. In fact, I was already taking said break and came online only because I got word of @/fulltacs' post.

I appreciate and thank you for holding me accountable (and by that I mean you and everyone!). And I especially thank *you* anon for wording this ask this way, and giving me, at least, a chance to explain.

[socialistexan]

Throwing out my "Who Is Ruby Sunday's Mother/Parent" guesses early enough before the episode:

Rose Tyler: Hear me out, the last time Rose came back (in end of series 4), it was because, and quote, "the walls of the universes are weakened." What happened when with the Not-Things and the salt in Wild Blue Yonder? The walls of the Universes weakened. Rose could have come in, dropped off her child (that is potentially half the meta-crisis Doctor's?) and that's Ruby. Also potential for a Rose Tyler and Rose Noble meeting which is the stuff of my dreams.

Susan: Why spend all that time building Susan back up if not for that? I know right now it's just a misdirect or a red herring, but I feel like there must be something to it, with all the mentions and references. Pyramids of Mars also had subtle references (more subtle than Susan's) through out.

River Song: Maybe the hints at Susan being the Doctor's granddaughter and the Doctor saying they don't have a daughter yet might be hinting at Ruby being the daughter of his wife (and potentially his daughter)

The Trickster: there's the potential of using Ruby as a power play by the Trickster against Sutekh and the rest of the pantheon. Also a character lesser known from RTD's era, referenced in the end of series 4 (Turn Left) and the only pantheon member both not seen in the episode and originating during RTD's original era.

Mrs Flood: There would have to be time travel shenanigans for this work, but this is Time Travel Shenanigans The Show, so soft maybe here. She's been built up and headed and that would be neat to have her watching over Ruby from afar, she's also not precluded from being any of the rest of the list.

Any older female companion: Really any female companion that's been on Earth and is young/old enough to have a baby in 2004 and isn't Rose. Ace has already made a reappearance in Power of the Doctor, so she might be out (but I love Ace so much that I wish it was her). Older classic companions like Sarah Jane, Jo, Liz, Mel, and Tegan are probably a touch too old, but not by much, and iirc there aren't any other classic female companions that stayed on Earth and could have potentially had a child in 2004 (Nyssa, Peri, and Leela all left the TARDIS on different worlds)

Some random person we've never met and Russel was just fucking with us: come on, it would be kinda funny.

[hotgirlbedtimescenarios]

Before the Sun Rises // Chapter 4

Fresh Start

Pairing: dbf!joel x f!reader (no outbreak)

Summary: Time with a special friend has you and Joel eager to clear the air of tension that has been causing a rift between the two of you recently.

Words: 4.3k+

Warnings: fluff, some family turmoil, and a brief/vague mention of potential SA ( nothing happened )

Masterlist

“You look like crap,” your sister teases when she spots you laid out on the couch, nursing a cold glass of water and force-feeding yourself a cold pancake from the breakfast your mom had cooked hours ago.

“Shut up, Izzy,” you groan, angry at yourself for being so hungover.

“I guess you aren’t coming to town with us today?” she asks.

“No thanks,” you say, taking another nibble of your pancake.

Your mom walks around the corner, digging in her massive, cluttered purse for her keys while she speaks to you, “Izzy and I will be in town for most of the day. I have a lot of errands to run, and she needs some supplies for summer camp.”

You grunt an acknowledgment, still too nauseous to form many words.

 “And your father’s gone golfing with Richard; who knows how long they’ll be gone today,” she finishes as she motions Izzy toward the door to leave. Finally, the door closes behind them, and the house is washed in sweet, beautiful silence.

You finish choking down your pancake and chugging a glass of water before walking into the kitchen to search for aid. Thankfully, you find a bottle of ibuprofen and swallow two before trudging back upstairs for a shower.

You’d still be in bed, but you’d made plans to visit Mrs. Mildred way before you had the bright idea to have a girl's night out.

---

Mrs. Mildred was quite the character. When you were younger, you used to view her as the crabbiest old lady on the block.

Once, you accidentally hit a baseball into her yard, which shattered her car’s side mirror. She scolded you for days afterward. The incident made you steer clear of her, only exchanging forced hellos when necessary.

Fast forward to sophomore year of high school, when your parents volunteered for you to help Mrs. Mildred with gardening. She needed someone to plant hydrangeas in her yard, and your parents graciously offered your services without consulting you. Begrudgingly, you went over, expecting a grumpy older woman.

Mrs. Mildred was stern and precise in her instructions, but as you worked together, you noticed her wit and humor peeking through her no-nonsense façade. She knew exactly what she wanted and how to do it. You imagined that if her aging back were up to snuff, she’d never stoop low enough to ask some child for gardening help.

After the plants were in the ground, she invited you inside for refreshments. “Come on inside, honey,” she directed you. She walked inside without looking back to see if you obeyed. You did.

Once inside, she ushered you to her small, round, wooden kitchen table. “Thank you for your help today, dear; I know it’s no fun, but my back is too damn old to bend over like that anymore.”

You were surprised at her crass language, a smile ticking up the sides of your mouth. As you sat at the kitchen table together, sipping homemade lemonade and munching on sandwiches and snacks, you engaged in conversation, chatting away like old friends.

It dawned on you that Mrs. Mildred wasn’t just a grumpy old lady but a girl. A lonely one, especially after her husband’s passing many years ago. Beneath her tough exterior was a woman with many stories and experiences to share with whoever would listen.

From that day on, you started to see Mrs. Mildred in a new light. You greeted her more often and joined her on her porch for afternoon chats. Before you knew it, you had formed an unlikely friendship with the firecracker of a woman, Mrs. Mildred, who turned out to be a great companion and confidante.

---

After a cool shower, you feel much more alive, no longer teetering on the verge of nausea and cringing away from every bright light in your eyes. You dry your hair, letting it fall loosely down your back, and then get dressed for the day.

You choose a delicate, white sun dress that flows loosely across your body, ties into a bow at your back, and has a hem that falls right above your knee—a perfect, relaxed fit to keep you cool and comfortable. Then, you slip into a pair of sandals and head across the street.

As you approach her home across from yours, you smile at the hydrangea bushes blooming with colorful petals, reminding you of your first afternoon here many years ago.

When you reach her door, you can hear the faint sound of old jazz music drifting through her cracked windows. You knock, and a moment later, Mrs. Mildred opens the door, a bright smile spreading across her face at the sight of you.

“Well, look who finally decided to pay this old bird a visit,” she teases, “didn’t think I’d see you again before I kick the bucket.”

You laugh, “You know I’d be pissed if you croak before I got to see you again!” you tease right back, pulling her small frame into a hug.

Mildred was even older now, probably teetering around 80 years old. Her petite frame was bent with age as she’d shrunk since the last time you saw her. Her hair, still white as snow, was curled on the top of her head with a pair of reading glasses tucked into it.

“Come on in, dear; I was just putting on another pot of coffee.”

You follow her inside, taking in the familiar surroundings of her cozy living room. The air was filled with the aroma of freshly brewed coffee and fresh linen.

Settling into one of her worn armchairs, you feel a sense of ease wash over you as Mrs. Mildred bustled about, prepping the coffee. Once everything was ready, she joined you and handed you a steaming cup. You took a sip, two sugars, and a whole lot of cream, just how you like it. You smile at the fact that she still remembers after all this time.

Settling into her armchair with a cup, she starts, “Now spill. Tell me something that’ll keep this old woman from dying of boredom. What have you been up to?”

You launch into your spiel about finally graduating but not knowing what you want to do next, about how your parents are pushing you to reach out and accept a job at Richard’s law firm.

She stops you, “Enough about all that; I don’t give a rat's ass about that man. Tell me what’s on your mind, really.”

You laugh, grateful she doesn’t amount your worth to your post-college plans like most people seem to do. So, you dive into a tale of college stories and your time abroad. Only pausing when she interjects her own commentary or asks If the boys you mentioned were “anything to write home about.”

“Definitely not,” you respond. You sip your coffee, considering what you want to ask her.

“Millie, how’d you know when you’d found your husband?”  A genuine question, now turning the conversation more serious.

Mildred’s eyes sparkle with something mischievous momentarily before she barks a laugh, a crass joke probably on the tip of her tongue. But then she pauses, her laughter fading into a smile tinged with nostalgia.

“Well, honey,” she begins gently, “I’ll spare you the dirty joke this time. When I met my Donald, it wasn’t something remarkable like what you see in those sappy romance movies. He was just a regular guy, rough around the edges, but with a heart of gold.”

She leaned back in her chair, lost in the memories of days gone by. “I knew he was the one for me when he stood by me through thick and thin. He loved me for me, and I never held any part of myself back from him. He saw everything, even the ugly parts, and never once wavered in his love and support. He made me laugh when I wanted to cry and held me close when life got tough. Even put up with my foul-mouthed humor without a single chide. He was my best friend.”

A wistful smile played on her lips as she continued, “You’ll know you found the one when they accept you for who you are, flaws and all. It won’t always be easy, but it's worth it. Real love is messy and imperfect. They might never fully understand you, but they must be with you through anything and everything. Always there when you need them and vice versa.”

You listened intently, touched by the sincerity of her words. Remembering again that her wisdom extended far beyond her crass jokes and witty remarks. “Were you ever worried about whether or not he’d like you for you?”

“Well,” she considers it for a moment, “If he didn’t, that just meant he wasn’t the one for me. So, I said to hell with it and showed him exactly who I was from the start.”

You smile, happy to hear that she’d found someone to love uniquely her, just as she is.

Just as you two are about to launch another conversation, a knock at her door rattles you. “I’ll get it,” she says, groaning as she pushes herself out of her armchair and shuffles toward the door.

“Joel! There you are, come on in,” she waves him inside.

Shocked, your head whips toward the door, and you watch Joel's burly figure enter the room. His shoulders stretch against a worn-looking t-shirt above a pair of loose-fitted jeans and signature work boots that thump loudly against the floor wherever he goes.

“What is it you needed help with this afternoon?” he asks, wiping his feet on the doormat before following her into the living room where you sit.

When he notices you, his strides halt. “Oh, sorry to interrupt,” he says, at a loss for words. “Didn’t know you had company; I can come back later.”

“Nonsense,” the old woman waves him off, “Sit down and visit with us. I’ll go grab you a cup of coffee.”

Mildred shuffles into the kitchen, rattling around, while Joels sits on the couch.

“Feeling alright after last night?” He asks you, thankfully not giving you the silent treatment.

“Yeah, it was rough getting up this morning but I'm fine now,” you answer, sipping your coffee. “What about you and Tommy?”

Mildred reemerges from the kitchen, handing Joel a large mug of fresh black coffee, and settles back into her original chair.

“Had to drag him back home by the night's end.” He says before taking a sip from his mug. “By the time I drove him home and handed him off to Maria, I think he’d already passed out.”

“Sounds like he did his bachelor party right then,” Mildred chimes in with a laugh.

You look at her, confused about how she knew what they were up to last night.

She meets you with a satisfied look, “Don’t be surprised. You’re not my only friend in the neighborhood.” She nods toward Joel, “Joel’s been coming around to keep me company ever since you went off and left me.”

You look to Joel now, eager for an explanation. He looks down at his feet, almost shy and embarrassed. “I remembered you spent afternoons over here before you left. Figured she’d need some company, so I stopped by one day.”

 He looks at Mildred now with a half smile on his face. “Ever since then, she’s been exploiting my kindness for free work and rides to doctors' visits.”

The old woman cackles, “It’s the least you can do in exchange for my charming company.”

You smile, and your heart grows warm, knowing that Joel has been here to care for your dear friend in your absence.

Silence fills the air now, the tension between you and Joel still ever present, though lighter now than it has been. You avoid looking at each other too much, and Mildred seems to pick up on the awkward energy.

She breaks the silence, eyeing the two of you. “What’s going on with you two?”

Your eyes dart to hers, and Joel follows suit. “What do you mean?” you ask nervously.

There’s no way she’d know about whatever was happening between you and Joel. Whatever the growing tension was between the two of you, putting a block in your friendship, or whatever it was you had with him.

“I mean what I said. What have the two of you been up to lately? It’s summer break. I’m sure Sarah has been keeping you busy,” she says, looking at Joel before turning to you, “and you're free to do whatever now, too.”

“Right,” Joel says, relaxing, “Sarah’s been jumping at the bit to do something daily. She’s mostly excited about finally being allowed to go to summer camp this year with Izzy.”

“That’s right,” you chime in. “I heard about that. My sister won't stop talking about how excited they are. She’s actually out shopping for supplies with my mom today.”

“You finally gave in?” Mildred teases, “Took you long enough. Poor girl has been begging for years, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Joel concedes, “I just worry about her too much. A whole week away in a camp in the woods? That can’t be a good idea for a bunch of little girls. What if som-“

You cut him off, “She’ll be fine, Joel,” you reassure him. “I went when I was younger, and I’d hardly call it camp. It’s a bunch of air-conditioned cabins right off the interstate where they do arts and crafts for a week and learn how to start fires with flint.”

He grumbles something unintelligible. Millie smiles to herself across the room, sensing the tension ease.

“Oh!” she jumps up out of her chair. “Let me show you something, dear,” Mildred says as she shuffles over to a bookshelf and grabs an old, worn leather photo album. “Speaking of my dear Donald, let me show you this.”

Mildred brings the photo album with her as she sits on the couch next to Joel, who looks confused about what she’s talking about, having not been present for the earlier conversation.

Mildred waves you over. “Come have a look,” she says, patting the spot next to her on the couch.

Rising from your seat, you join her and Joel on the couch. Mildred in the middle as a nice buffer between the two of you.

She opens the book to display a collage of age-tinted pictures, some with frayed and yellowed edges. The first picture shows a small woman with a tenacious-looking expression, obviously a younger Mildred, and a tall, sturdy-looking man who you assume is her late husband.

You and Joel both lean in to get a better look.

“This was me and my Don right after we moved into this house.”

“Wow, Mildred, you’re a bombshell!” you compliment her.

“I sure used to be,” she agrees, “nothing but a bag of old bones now,” she chuckles.

She flips to the next page; the photo now depicts a younger Mildred in a beautiful satin wedding dress, a long sweeping veil, and some interestingly oversized puffy sleeves that must have been all the fashion back then. Her husband was dressed in a suit with his arms wrapped around her.

“What a dress,” you comment.

“Sure is somethin’,” Joel adds, failing to hide his distaste for the gaudy fashion choices.

“Don’t judge me too harshly; it was all the craze back in my day. This was the day we were married nearly 60 years ago.”

“I’m sure that was an amazing day,” you offer.

“It was, well, for the most part.” Mildred flips the page, showing a picture of the newlywed couple sharing their first dance in a nearly empty reception hall. “Marrying him was one of the best days of my life, no doubt, but we didn’t have that many guests. My parents were dead set against me marrying him.”

“Why?” you ask, intrigued. You see Joel raise an eyebrow across from you, also interested in the story.

“Well, there are many reasons they came up with to try not to like him. He was older, though many people didn’t care about that much back then. His parents came from nothing: seamstresses for a mother and factory worker for a father. My parents raised hell when they found out I was seeing him. They thought their daughter deserved someone in the same tax bracket, like a lawyer or doctor.”

She flips the page again, displaying a picture of her and her husband holding a baby girl, her oldest daughter, you assume.

“When they found out we were engaged, they stopped talking to me, cut off my funds, and tried to blackmail me into leaving him. But they didn’t know the wealth I saw in him,” she continues lovingly. “He was a good man and cared for me like no one else. He laughed with me, cried with me, and fought like hell with me, too, but loved me regardless. I felt the happiest I’d ever been every day I spent with him. They never completely came around; we were always the family's black sheep after that, but it was all worth it.”

“It seems like you made the right decision. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard someone talk about their spouse that way.” You said, and it was true.

“You two listen up now,” she instructs, nodding to you and Joel. “If there’s one thing I’ve learned all these years, you need to live life for yourself. Don’t give a damn what anybody else has to say. I was shunned by my family and many of my so-called friends, too, but I didn’t care. It wasn’t more important than spending my life with the man I loved. In the beginning, I was scared of the backlash. All the external pressure got to me, and I broke things off with Donald briefly before realizing it was a colossal mistake. We lost precious time together before I came to my senses and ran back to him. I’d give anything to go back and get even just a few days more with him now.”

It was as if Mildred knew what was happening between you and Joel. She didn’t realize just how applicable this conversation was to you.

The three of you spend the rest of the afternoon chatting in Mildred's living room.

Joel shares how well his contracting business is going, especially with several new big-time clients in the city practically throwing money at him to take on all their projects.

 Before he can get into much detail, Mildred interjects, “And what about Tommy and Maria? Engagement party soon, right? Do they need help organizing?”

“Yes, mam, it is,” Joel replies, “and no, I think Maria is doing a fine job with everything. Tommy is actually pretty excited; he was going on about color schemes and ambiance last week.” Joel chuckles, “Didn’t think I'd see the day he cared about party planning details other than what drinks he’d be bringing, but the boy is in deep with Maria. Several of her friends have agreed to help with setup and hosting, so there's nothing left to do now but wait.”

“ I look forward to it,” Mildred says. “Finally, giving this old bird a chance to dress up and socialize. Your folks coming too?” she says, looking at you now.

“Yeah, we’ll be there, I wouldn’t miss it.”

Mildred yawns before getting up from the couch to stretch. “I hate to run y'all off, but I think I need a bit of a nap.”

Joel stands, offering his arm to Mildred if she needs help shuffling to the bedroom, but she swats him away.

 “Need anything before we go, Millie? What was it you called me over here for anyways?” Joel questions.

“Oh, don’t worry about it; we’ll get to that next time. Can you walk her home for me, dear?”

You protest, “Millie, I live right across the street. I don’t need –“

She cuts you off. “I’m not senile yet, dear; I know that. But he’s going to do what I asked him to anyways, won't you, Joel,” she finishes, giving him a firm look that leaves no room for arguing.

“Yes, Mam.”

Without further discussion, you all say goodbye. With a click of the front door closing behind you, you find yourself alone with Joel.

Not waiting to be led home by him like a child, you begin walking toward your house. Over your shoulder, you call back to him, “You really don’t have to walk me home, Joel.”

“I’m scared of what she will do to me if I don’t,” he jokes before his much longer strides allow him to catch up to you and walk side by side. After a beat of silence, he continues, “I, uh, I actually wanted to talk to you anyways.”

You cut your eyes in his direction, surprised by his words. “Oh,” you say, “about what?”

He doesn’t look at you; he looks straight ahead as he walks with one hand by his side and the other rubbing the back of his neck, his telltale sign of discomfort.

“’ Bout last night. And uh, about everything, really. I didn’t mean to cause a scene last night; I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

Sure, you had been annoyed with him last night, insinuating you were a drunk mess who couldn’t take care of herself. But after you got home and heard his voice on the phone, clearly worried about whether or not you made it home, it chilled the brewing anger you'd had toward him.

“It’s alright. I actually was going to thank you. If today's hangover is an indication of how drunk I was last night, then I get why you would have been worried about how I was getting home. Lucas, got me back safe, no problem.”

“Lucas,” Joel repeats his name, his voice a bit drier than before, and you think you see him roll his eyes. “It’s not that I don’t think you're capable of taking care of yourself, but I don’t know if I trust him.”

A beat of silence follows as the two of you continue to walk. You wrack your brain, trying to figure out Joel’s disdain for Lucas before it clicks. Prom night.

The night that should’ve been the best night of your high school life ended with you in tears over how Lucas treated you. It had left you crying in the arms of Joel Miller, who promised he'd deal with Lucas if he ever bothered you again.

“Oh,” you say, pausing as the memory floods your thoughts. You’re surprised Joel even remembers that from so many years ago.

Your eyes are on the ground, and your face is warm with embarrassment because he clearly remembers that emotional moment.

Joel halts his stride as well, coming to a stop beside you. “The last time I’d heard you say anything about him, it wasn’t good. Then I saw him there, leading you to his truck without your friends. I thought.. well, I couldn’t let you go with him without knowing if you were too drunk or if you were comfortable leaving with him.”

Guilt comes crashing down on you. You’d been so pissed at Joel but hearing things from his point of view, the way things must have looked, and given his background knowledge of Lucas, it all makes sense now.

You finally glance up, meeting his warm brown eyes in the light of day. “I know what It must've looked like. My friends and I had caught up with Lucas earlier in the night, and he seemed to have changed, so I took him up on his offer to drive me home. That’s it.” You let a small smile appear on your face, “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“Any time.” He smiles back, “I mean it.”

The sincerity in his voice sends another wave of emotion through you. Having been in such a weird place with Joel lately, you’ve forgotten the kind of man he is. He’d always looked out for you, always been there when you didn’t know who else to turn to.

Maybe it clouded your vision and led you to believe you were seeing signs of something more between the two of you when, in reality, it was just wishful thinking.

You've built up one-sided affection and snapped at him the other night outside of your house when the way he’d been acting around you didn’t fit that narrative.

Breaking eye contact, you take a deep breath and exhale. “Listen, I’m sorry for snapping at you the other night after dinner. It’s weird being back home. I was a kid when I left, but I’ve come back as an adult. I’ve been away for years and feel like a new person now, but my parents don’t see that. They treat me like they always have like I'm too young and inexperienced to know what's good for me.”

Joel opens his mouth to say something, but you keep going.

“But you’ve never treated me that way; you never made me feel less than, and I guess I got confused and.-“

“Hey,” Joel finally interjects, saving you from rambling into how you may have misconstrued his attention and embarrassed yourself by assuming it was something more.

You feel his palm land on your shoulder, rubbing a soothing thumb back and forth as he steps closer. Despite the heat of the summer sun, chills prickle up your spine.

“You have nothing to apologize for. You were right; I was being an asshole. You’re not a kid no more, hell anyone who spends any time with you should know that by now. I don’t know what I was thinking, acting the way I did. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Can we just start over?” You ask. “Be friends again, for real this time?”

“I’d like that.” A smile lifts the edge of his lips and crinkles the skin around his eyes.

You and Joel finally finish the walk back to your house in comfortable silence, where he leaves you at the door.

“Welcome home,” he says in that signature smooth rasp.

“Good to be back,” you answer with a smile, and this time it's true, as you slip inside.

With the air cleared and things between you and Joel back to normal, the weight has been lifted, and you are eager for what's to come this summer.

[redemptionrehab]

Triple A INC.

Angel, Alastor and Ace! Finally made this look the way I wanted it to!!! It was a pain but so worth it.

All of them have their canon personalities, the Only big difference personality wise is that angel and Husk are in a relationship now and Alastor was the one who pitched the partnership in the first place.

Alastor

Alastor was the first to die, but was the last of the three to build his reputation in Hell. The reason it took him so long to rise to power is a mystery, especially since when he did it was almost overnight. Once he gained the limit of his power he want to the home of Hell's most notorious gambler, however when he won he didn't want the gambling demon's soul, he wanted his partnership. Husk was not hesitant to agree, and not just because he was forced to, infact he was interested in seeing how the partnership went. However, Alastor had no idea he was not aware that Angel would be part of the deal and due to him accidentally tying himself to the Gambler he was unable to break out of the deal.

The only real change in Alastor's design is his color scheme, which matches the original character in zoophobia, and his shoes which were changed back to his boots.

Angel

This spider mobster was the original member, first to gain power down in Hell. He did in '47 and became an official overlord in sep. of '49. Angel takes no nonsense but gives a lot. He met Husk at the gamblers first overlord meeting and they immediately hit it off. Angel proceeded to visit Husk's casino frequently and even aided in advertising it. Angel also took to weapons manufacturing sometime in the mid 60's and quickly became tough competition with Carmila, who eventually had to file for bankruptcy when her sales dropped in the 90's. After Carmila's company tanked and she and her daughters were left on a tight budget, Angel's conscience took over, especially since Carmila was such a roll model to him. He decided to pay for their home and food, with the condition that he gets to visit every now and again. (He likes to gossip with Clara).

Angel's design matches his original with his color scheme changed to match his current one! I really liked his little hat

Ace

Husker, more professionally known as Ace, was the last of the three to enter Hell and the second to gain power. As stated above Alastor was the one who wanted to join him and Husk purposefully lost the game in order to go through with the deal. He couldn't let demons think he kept associating with other overlords via his own will, obviously Angel is obsessed with him and wont leave no matter what, he obviously doesn't like him back. Is what he would say if he was a LIAR. At one point in time, Husk finds a young demoness stranded out on the streets, picking pockets for anything she can get. Husker sees potential in her and takes her back to the Casino to show the others. In the end, the girl bonds with Alastor.

His design is meant to look like a more aged up version of his younger self, a little more scruffy.

[acid-ixx]

I hope you don’t mind but I need to ramble this to someone, neglected Wayne reader right? The fam would forget to bring them to social events and whatnot right? So there would be very few pictures, articles and interviews or even facts about them, meaning that reader Wayne is a rarity. Still following me? Reader Wayne with a small but devout fanbase.

I’m talking they are trading the latest pictures and sharing links to the rare interview with reader in it, following any social media they have that isn’t private, they are just fascinated by this micro celebrity that seems to always be forgotten. Okay but also imagine one of the heroes developing a para-social attachment to reader. My money is on Conner Kent, mainly bc he can project his own issues with his dads onto reader and he can Dolores ~Encanto~ reader with his super hearing and develop a even bigger parasocial obsession with them

I hope you enjoyed this ramble, I will leave you be now, see ya later alligator! 🐊

omg another one of my asks that actually predicted a major plot point... this ask ties well with the last part written here. i'm thinking about having the reader get a love interest/s but i have already written an outline but one thing is for sure—

you have more than just your family interested in taking you.

major spoilers below the cut. — an excerpt from chapter xx

(name) wayne may have been a name forcefully deleted off of the face of the internet, but that doesn't mean it doesn't have its conspiracies of its own. nobody knows who you are beyond the blurry, unsolicited pictures of you. it may have been a photograph of your back, or articles published in unknown websites and buried at the far end about a kid entering through the fancy gates of the wayne manor.

you are a product of a one-night-stand.

but they don't know who the mother is, don't know your age, or where you come from, and what business bruce has with the woman to guarantee your adoption at the instance she had disappeared without warning.

your existence was a mystery most would like to solve. after all, it was your picture that was plastered all over the newspapers and articles, it was your name that journalists whisper and it was a silhouette of your face that the underground knows by heart. every known information about you was shared discretely yet efficiently like some sort of virus.

you were a target for interest, a large sum of money if they will. and alfred had taken it in his hands to make sure there would never be a repeat of what had happened before.

it was a clumsy mistake, one that cost you your memories, and one he swears on his life he'll never make again.

the first course of action he needs to arrange, which may seem difficult for most; he needs to confront bruce.

after all, your freedom is your doom.

maybe this is out of the picture, but id' like to imagine you and connor having a therapy session where one comes out absolutely obsessed with the other, and it's not you.

connor's character for me is so, so good for an angst potential. it's like his personal struggles is a way for him to show you how absolutely you two are meant to be. and he may have met you through bumping into you (false) or maybe... he has seen you stalking through the shadows back when he visits the manor. using his superhearing, he can hear your voice from the kitchen begging alfred to relay a message to bruce, sounding so absolutely desperate. it's the way you tell alfred how you wished your father actually spends time with you, or how nobody seems to notice you— that he kind of just makes a silent promise that he will talk to you soon, he needs to know why this family seems so keen on ignoring and how hypocritical tim is for literally doing the same thing to you when he's aware of kon's past.

if he (or anyone else) should be a love interest (though he is a minor character in the series unless you guys want him to be a major one), i can already imagine the absolute hell you have to suffer not only from your family but from your own lover. just imagine the stockholm syndrome or the delusions you convince yourself with because you're finally loved by someone but that love restricts you from the very freedom you tried to build.

the batfamily would be so conflicted because why are you choosing some stranger over them...? then you slap them in the face with, "well, this "stranger" wants to kidnap me and lock me up, sure! but at least they actually looked at me for more than five seconds!" and you can watch how the color drains off their face, their conflict giving you the perfect opportunity to run away from both your ex-family and your soon-to-be-kidnapper-lover who thinks your comeback is a funny way for you to propose.

[alleyskywalker]

I finally got to writing down my thoughts/feelings/notes/reactions on S2E1 of HOTD. Under cut because spoilers.

Thie episode – but really just this show – had pacing issues, which was one of its biggest problems, very reminiscent of what entirely killed of the seeds of good or at least decent plot points in GoT S8. IDK what genius decided to cut the number of eps to 8 – or why, given that this show is very popular – but then they had this issue somewhat last season too. We are also starting to see how recklessly cutting characters comes back to bite you in the ass, at it’s just the start here.

With the episode/season paced as it is, there was no time to spend on Jace’s diplomatic endeavors. Were they strictly necessary? No, I guess, but they could have been…interesting? And helped him grow/develop/showcase to the audience as a character. Like, I actually want Jace to be a character this season, yk?

So given that, as much as I am sad that they cut my girl Sara Snow, I can’t be too mad about it because they just kinda…cut all of it for the most part.

The North intro was kinda funny tho. For a second I was so confused because I was like “is the KIT narrating this?” Cregan is very Northy-North lol. Is that sword Ice? “You, at least, have the mercy not to threaten me with your dragon.” – lol, I’m glad Cregan got this little snipe in at Jace for his Targ revisionism. Like, yea, sure “treated” aha. Also, I liked the little Decimation reference, complete with the white/black stones.

The Daemon and Rhaenys scene was good. I like that she takes no shit from his ass. Also liked her little monologue about how hearing of Laena’s death made her go into denial and she couldn’t start grieving until she actually saw her body. It feels very realistic.

This is not what I ever envisioned Alyn to look like lmao. He feels kinda too old? But on the other hand, I guess it maybe makes sense if he’s meant to be Corly’s son. Another question though: why are we getting introduced to him and not Addam first, given who the dragonrider will be? Are they…for some reason…merging the two brothers but keeping Alyn of the two???

AEGON this ep/season! Wow, this show is truly bipolar. First, they character assassinate him in S1 and now he’s so…idk, likeable isn’t really the word. But, compounded by TGC’s charm, he really, really has the potential to be a kind of sympathetic or at least fascinating character here. Excited to see this develop.

Loved seeing him as a father. Really, we needed more interaction between Aegon, Heleana and the twins, but you know. Pacing issues. The council scene with  Jaehaerys was adorable – that Aegon cares to bring his son into council, even if he’s a bit young for it now, but you can really see him trying to be the father he never got to have in Viserys. And you can see how much he adores this kid.

Really, Aegon, for all his impatience and lack of true competence is so clearly trying. He’s impatient to go to war, but brashness of youth of course, plus it’s not like Aemond is not chomping at the bit as well. But Aegon can be restrained (for now) and does listen to his councilors. You can say that’s a sign of his weak will, and yea in part it probably is, but it’s not a terrible trait really? For a young, inexperienced king to listen to more seasoned counsel.

AND THE PETITIONS SCENE. He genuinely wants to be a good king to the smallfolk, acknowledges them as a necessary backbone. No, he has no idea what he’s doing, but really who’s fault was that? (Looking at you, Vizzy.) It was a great bit of comic relief, especially with TGC’s acting, but also just a great portrayal of what an idealistic but really inexperienced, naïve, and not naturally-suited young king might be like. “He came all this way.” Awww. He tried lol.

Aegon and his buddies! I love seeing him have friends. Will be interested if they play any more significant roles (like during the war) than just background chatter. The banter was cute. Very dumbass teenage boys vibes.

Dalton Greyjoy mention!

Fuck Larys. That’s all I’m gonna say on that.

Aegon and Helaena’s conversation njglgjls. He really has not way how to communicate with her and she doesn’t really know how to convey her thoughts/feelings in general. But of course she’s afraid, poor girl :( But as estranged/kinda awkward their relationship is it doesn’t seem…terrible, yk?

The Alicent and Otta scene was nice. It felt like they found some understanding and a way to work together. But I do get the sense that yea, Otto is not completely satisfied with it (maybe Alicent’s definition of “victory” seemed lacking to him, which he’s not…entirely wrong there).

Luke’s funeral montage was very touching – the music was gorgeous. (I can only hope they allow Jae the same respect next ep…) Speaking of that montage, ahhhh Alicent in the sept praying for the dead… The fact this girl prays for Vizzy ffs. And also Luke. She recognizes that he was just a teenager and even though it pains her, she affords him his respect. As Criston says, “she has a gentle heart.”

Criston and Aemond’s conversation was so great on several levels!

First, of course, Aemond and his father-that-stepped-up making battle plans was great! They really do just have such a great camaraderie and dynamic of trust. Aemond believes in Criston’s excellence; they trust each other with secretive plans and vulnerable conversation. Loved the bit of Criston putting his hand on Aemond’s shoulder briefly before leaving the room.

The “that makes her a fool” line actually comes across better in context than it did in the tailer. (Although, still, who calls their mother by her name??) For one, Aemond’s frustration is understandable, he feels misunderstood and unfairly so (given that Alicent and the small council did start this whole thing, as he points out) but also he’s probably hurt, given his history with Luke. Remember how he had wanted to make a present of Luke’s eye to Alicent? He thought she was on the same page with him on this and she’s…not. Second, Aemond actually doesn’t realize this is what might be going on with Alicent – he seems kind of surprised after Criston’s explanation, the way that line is delivered. He’s having his realization out loud but he’s also not had time to digest it yet.

Ok SO I am in no way one of those weirdos who thinks that Alicent and Criston’s relationship is all about Rhaenyra (lol). BUT she is a point of common trauma for them. What Criston describes – Rhaenyra being a “cunning spider” and having an emotional influence over Alicent and Alicent capitulating to her because of her “gentle heart” is, yes, a description of Alicent, but it’s also a description of his own relationship with Rhaenyra, at least how it had felt from his POV. He understands Alicent’s feelings here so well and can empathize with her and defend her to Aemond because he loves her, yes, but also because he’s been there too.

OK, now ALICOLE.

I mean…Am I glad it’s canon? Well, yea, I’ve been shipping it super hard. Do they deserve to have consensual sex that brings them joy? Yes! Do I think it’s “hypocrisy”? Nope, lol, not matter now much TB screech that it is, it just isn’t. I’m pretty sure I’ve rebloged posts explaining why not.

That all said…man did they not handle this well, or at least certainly not in the best, most compelling way they could have. Now, I understand that my love for asexual/courtly love romance is not something most people share, so this relationship was going get physical if it was to be canon at all. Also, this show isn’t really the right genre for a drawn out slow burn romance, necessarily. But. It IS quite a big leap to suddenly go from “implied” and “romantic tension” to…fucking on a regular basis, just because Vizzy has finally kicked the bucket. Especially with these two characters.

Now, Alicent, I can get. She’s a widow, her marital vows no longer bind her. She has also completed her duty as a wife, mother and queen (re: providing heirs). Social interest in her private life is as low as it could ever be for a woman in that society. (So, not low enough really lol but historically, widows had a lot of freedom, compared to unmarried girls and wives.) But Criston? How does this work for him? His vows are still in place and he had been so heartbroken about having broken them the first time. I mean, yes, this is a very different situation and relationship. He’s older, he’s already broken those vows once so it’s like…how much he got to lose there? He can’t go back ever to NOT being an oathbreaker. But I really would have wanted to see some more set up. We should have seen them fight their irresistible pull toward each other, until they finally broke.

I did love her putting the cloak back on him afterward. A nice little anti-parallel to how he takes it off during the sex scene with Rhaenyra.

There really, really was no need to have Helaena walk in on them having sex after B&C. There had to be better ways to establish that this was a regular thing for them now and that the whole “we can’t do this again” is just Alicent/them being in denial. A way that didn’t take away from a moment that is/was supposed to be so horrific and impactful.

I do love the contrast of Alicent and Viserys always doing it missionary style and now with Criston she’s on top!

Blood & Cheese. Oh god. I have spent the last few days so angry about this. I’ve rebloged do many posts about this that I’m not sure I want to spend to much time on it. It’s just depressing at this point. But I will say a couple of things:

Helaena’s reaction does make sense to me. I’ve seen a lot of people, including TG people, saying that it was bad, and she should have been more frantic. But, frankly, she did seem pretty panicked and frantic to me. It’s just this Helaena does not emote/externalize much. At some point it seems like she almost dissociates from the situation. It’s understandable that she picks up her daughter and runs – she can’t save her son but while the assassins are distracted, of course she takes the chance to try to save her daughter. Even the necklace thing kind of makes sense. In the books, she asks them to kill her in part because she can’t stand to make the awful choice between her two boys – she’s rather die than choose. But here she hears them talk about her being a son; when they reject her necklace they also repeat how “that’s not a son.” Only a son will do, so offering her life is pointless, but trying to outbid the person who hired them might not be.

 The people (TB, lbr) shrieking about how this was Alicent and Criston’s fault are just willfully dense. If Alicent wasn’t having sex, she might have been sleeping or reading in her room or preying. There is literally nothing that implies that she would have been with Helaena if she wasn’t having sex, ffs. Also, Criston is not the only fucking kingsguard or guard. Wtf were there like no other guards idk. That’s just a plot hole/devise that looks ridiculous. But nonetheless, he 1) isn’t on duty 24/7, that’s unrealistic, and 2) is Alicent’s sworn shield, so he wouldn’t have been guarding Helaena or the kids anyway.

This is where we see that cutting Maelor was a BAD IDEA. It’s going to potentially create even more problems down the line. Who would have thought that cutting characters left and right might be an issue? /s It really diminishes the horror of Helaen’s situation and sets up this kind of unrealistic replacement choice which makes no sense because like…why would they even need her to tell them which one is the boy? It’s not that hard to feel the kids up and see which one has the right genitals, yk? I’ve seen people try to do some interesting analysis for how this scene is Thematically Relevant but nah. That’s just cope the way I used to cope with things in GoT that went wrong in the last seasons by doing metal gymnastics to try to spin them in a more palatable way for me.

But even if they fucked up on the foresight and found themselves with a situation where they needed to play this without Maelor…They could have still tried harder. For example: framing it less from the assassins’ POV and more from Helena’s, having the scene be longer, maybe in these circumstances have her try to offer her life/emote more like in the book, have Alicent actually be present too, have the rape threat against Jaehaera, have Daemon actually order Jae’s murder or at fucking least have him say “a son for a son” on screen because you KNOW the rabid part of this fanbase will act willfully blind and dumb to pretend he’s not at fault. I really think it’s that last one that makes me the most angry in the end, as the murder of a toddler is awful and horrific even without the Sophie’s choice.

And to piggy-back off that last, it’s the diminishing of the horror for TG and the whitewashing of TB as much as possible that gets to me the most, I think. They made this horrific, impactful event almost a par for the course (for the GoT/ASOIAF universe) sort of thing and with as little responsibility and plausible deniability given to TB as they could. The blatant bias (that they then have the audacity to pretend isn’t there) is infuriating.

In conclusion: there were plenty of nice things, but the disappointments really overshadowed them.

[toodelusionalforreality]

This was scheduled for another day because I was rethinking it. After that anon message, let's push it up the calendar, shall we?

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta. I think I'll never get over what they did to her.

Nesta’s development is quite beautiful if one can see past Feyre’s jaded perspective. She is the character written to be hated by everyone in the very first chapter she makes her appearance. The cruel, ignorant sister who forced her younger sister to suffer. But she grows into an admirable woman and no one wants to see that.

I’ll admit. I hated her from the very first scene as I related to Feyre so much in those chapters. Yet, even I can see how much Nesta evolved into a better person.

Some might disagree since she still favoured Elain over Feyre again and again in the later books. It doesn’t mean you get to disregard every good thing she did just because she didn’t like your favourite character.

So here's the list of things Nesta did no one wants to acknowledge.

Protects Elain all her life. Everything she does is for Elain.

After Feyre is taken to Spring Court by Tamlin, she hires a mercenary and goes to the wall alone without telling anyone. If she had been killed, then that was it, no one would have known.

Lives with the knowledge and guilt everyday that her baby sister went to live in the fae lands while her father and Elain are oblivious and happy with their new life.

Encourages Feyre to go live with the man she loves and help him when she finds out the truth.

Tries to bond with Feyre after she returns by indulging in her hobby, painting. She could've asked Feyre to read with her, dance with her instead. She put Feyre’s interest on the forefront.

Hates fae and still lets IC into their home because she cared about their cause and reason. She is often portrayed hateful but this gives an insight to how much she can put aside her prejudice for others.

Stands up to human royals despite the consequences to herself and Elain. She stands up not only for her family’s safety but everyone close to the wall.

Fights Hybern, not for her life, but Elain. Every thought is about her sister.

In HoW, again she looks after Elain, takes care of her as much as possible.

Agrees to help IC to stop the war by acting as their emissary, not out of desperation but it was the right thing to do and to stop Hybern.

Stands up to seven powerful High Lords, and makes a rational argument than using arrogance and threats. It potentially convinces almost all of the High Lords and it shows in their reaction. But immediately this is overshadowed by Feyre’s powers reveal.

Goes with IC to the battlefield and spends the whole day helping the wounded even though she still hates fae.

Takes all the stink eye from Mor without a word.

Keeps her mouth shut when Feyre goes to find Suriel, because loyalty to her sister. Obviously Mor and Rhys would've bitten her head off in the background which we never find out about.

Does the scrying even when she’s scared, because greater good. Also for Elain.

Chooses to help over and over again to the point of using herself as a bait.

Throws herself over Cassian knowing she would die to.

Helps Elain with the killing of Hybern. [I think the credit should be shared among the two which everyone seems to ignore]

Finds the trove when she’s afraid of her own powers knowing what it does to her.

Offers them up without anyone’s suggestion because she doesn’t trust her own powers and knows it’s the right/smart thing to do.

Plays emissary again and works with Eris and IC. She's way better than Feyre or anyone else really.

Stands up to Tamlin because he hurt her baby sister. [her anger towards him is the only thing I’ll accept, not IC’s]

Helps Emerie, Gwyn and all others in the library who were once as helpless as her. She isn’t looking for company or friends at this point. She genuinely wants them to have the opportunity to defend themselves.

Takes Cassian’s bullshit [and IC’s] when spiralling.

Makes a sentient house, which the assholes living it for 5 centuries knew nothing about, feel good about itself.

In the Blood Rite, helps her friends risking her life over and over again because she still believes she isn’t as important as they are. [the final fight was unrealistic, but it’s the essence that counts]

Gives up her powers to save Feyre, her baby. [and Rhys]

The only times she was actually being mean after Feyre's return home was when she was protecting her family or calling out IC's bullshit.

It’s safe to say Nesta did more good than any of the others in the little cool kids gang. Let’s face it people just want to hate her because Feyre and SJM internally hate her.

This is all I remember from off the top of my head. Feel free to remind me whatever I missed.

[halliescomut]

Love Sea Ep 2 Thoughts

Okay. I've had some time to consider the episode, organize my thoughts (potentially) but I think this still might be a bit of a ramble....sorry.

So we do start off right where we left off where they're coming back on the boat, and they're talking on the beach. I mentioned in my watch along a lot of these thoughts, so I'm kind of just expanding on them, so it might be helpful to read that first. But I've taken an interest in a lot of the body language happening in the show, and looking at the scene it gives me this feeling of Mut sort of invading Rak's space, but just enough.

Like their legs are entwined, but there's decent distance from their upper bodies, which given Rak's hesitation to get too close, or be too charmed by Mut really works for me. Given the scene prior, and Rak's sort of level of upset, it feels pretty clear that Mut is working to kind of distract Rak. And Rak basically jumps on that opportunity. It actually kind of reminds me of Sky in that way, like we don't have a confirmation of Sky's general MO in regard to sex, but the ONS read a little bit to me as an intentional decision to distract himself. I get that same feeling here, Rak doesn't want to think about why he reacted as he did, or consider how vulnerable he made himself, and so he kind of thinks by jumping into a sexual experience that will distract both him and Mut.

I have (as is kind of always the case with Mame) reservations on the kind of D/s undertones she uses. I got to be honest, part of the issue is the weird commitment to putting Peat's character in the more submissive position (she did it with Sky too) I honestly don't find that it suits him or his characters well, and is based solely on his body type versus his personality. Setting that aside for now, I will say that I appreciate direct expression of oral sex. In LITA specifically (I know I'm calling back to that a lot, but it's hard not to use it as a comparison, specifically for the NC scenes) we saw two separate allusions to oral sex, or honestly we were robbed of two NC scenes involving oral. The ONS, where Pai doesn't let Sky give him a BJ, and then the bathroom scene that ended up getting cut where we see Prapai giving. I made this observation (among friends, not publically...I don't think) that I think the intentional exclusion of that specific sex act in Thai BL leads me to believe there's a particular reason why it's not included. In terms of MM sex we see your standard penetrative sex pretty regularly, and then small sprinkles of handjobs in general, but oral is almost never even alluded to, much less shown. Now I'm honestly not super caught up on a lot of Thai BL, but I would say I've seen more direct expressions of oral in the last year, than I had seen in two years prior since I got into Thai BL. So overall I think it's a step in the right direction in encouraging a more well-rounded and accurate depiction of the gay experience.

In terms of the actual physical acting of the scene...I'm gonna say C+. It's less about their facial expressions and more about positioning and timing...in a way. I will salute the decision for oral sex if you're doing it on a beach, because that is going to be your least chafe-y option.

Following this we get a return of the humor with Rak saying they need to go back to the hotel room immediately...Clearly leading Mut to believe that the sexy times will continue, but they do not. Rak starts writing, we don't get insight into the specific scene, but I do wonder if the written scenes mirror the IRL experiences or not. Like how similar are they? During that time we see Mut basically pouting and then googling Rak. This gives us our first suggestion in the show I think that Rak is basically a self-insert for Mame. And we see the covers for The Boy Next World as well as Love Director, two novels that 'Rak' has written and are being made into series. He follows that up by checking what looks to be basically Rak's Instagram, containing many pictures of Rak looking incredibly attractive and then basically excuses himself to take a shower.

Rak finishes his scene, and I'm not really sure if he's kind of run out of mojo, or if he's just done with that scene in general, but he goes looking for Mut and he sure does find him. Now I did miss the arm movement initially and thought we were just appreciating the rear view so to speak, but then you realize that Mut is in fact jacking off.

Overall, it seems a case of "Well, we've already crossed the line" and we have the most minimal discussion of terms. I'm not a person who cares at all about the sexual decisions that adults make, but as someone who is close friends with people who have and continue to work in the sex industry, it is of course not a necessarily safe way to go about those types of negotiations. This is not a dealbreaker for me by any means in regards to watching the show, I genuinely don't expect anything overly realistic, it's just an observation.

Moving on to the main event as it were, the sort of antagonistic flirting is on point, which with Fort and Peat is not surprising. They mentioned that Mame gave them an opportunity to do what felt natural for their characters and I do feel that in the conversation and acting in the shower. Once we move back to the bedroom things move very quickly, and while I think the scene is very good, it doesn't feel passionate in the same way the earlier scene does, or previous NC scenes we've seen from FortPeat as PrapaiSky (except for one in particular and I'll get back to that). I'm not personally sure if this was an acting choice, if it was just how the scene ended up, if it was directing, I truly don't know. I think though it really fits the situation in a particular way. The almost emotionless sex feels appropriate because they don't truly have feelings for each other yet, not really. Flirting and attraction aside, there's not a true emotional connection, especially on Rak's part. And I'm sorry, but it reminds me of the ONS in LITA. It's the only sex scene we see of Prapai and Sky where there are positions where they aren't facing each other, which creates an emotional distance. It's why we see missionary position so often in BLs even when that may not be the go-to position for MM sex. Having characters face each other creates an emotional connection.

The choice makes sense if you consider that both Rak and Sky are going into this sexual encounter with the intention of maintaining emotional distance. And even Mut and Prapai at this point, while intrigued by this very attractive person, aren't coming into it from an overly emotional place. So, overall I do think in this scene it's a vibe that really works for me, and I'm interested to see how these scenes change as the characters open up more to each other.

Once Rak is done, he's very definitively done and sends Mut away, but does admit to himself that this Mut is one of the best he's ever had.

We then cut to the next day and get more of what I personally call Mut's village rounds, just him going around and talking to different people from the community, and we see more interactions with Palm, the bartender from episode one. They're interactions are really cute, I actually really enjoy him. He has good doofus energy. Anyway, after that Mut heads to the hotel because Palm told him that all the single staff there were trying to 1- figure out Rak's sexuality and 2- potentially woo him because he's rich. So Mut is there sitting with a group of ladies, to Rak's eyes he's flirting, but we don't hear much if any of the conversation, so it's unclear if there's actual flirting or if it's just Mut's general charisma. I also don't think we've gotten any specific clarity on Mut or Rak's sexuality in terms of whether they are gay, bi, or pan. I personally suspect that Rak does not feel attracted to women, but that's my own read on it. Mut is harder to nail down, but we haven't seen nearly as much of him in a flirting-approriate situation. But back to the point. Rak sees Mut with the women, he hears hotel staff talking about how he's a catch or something (I skimmed over that on the second watch, sorry) and he's jealous.

We see a peek at Rak's impulsiveness here (like the beach and the shower, and even the robe scene of last episode) and he sends Mut 65,000 Baht which is $1,771 in USD, so not small change, and basically comes up and stakes his claim on him. We get more of Peat's English here, and I'm guessing we might get more of it when he returns to Bangkok, or maybe just more if we see more conversations with Connor. I have feelings about the whole "I paid for you, I don't share", as discussed above, but I do think it gives insight to Rak, and the kind of slippery slope he's found himself on here.

Mut leaves with him after agreeing to feed him and we do get an adorable montage of them on the motorbike. While the tone of the episode shifts throughout, I don't feel like it's quite as abrupt as the previous episode, and I think the motorbike scene really sets up the future of Rak kind of finding some peace not only in Mut, but also in this rural community. Once they arrive at the area where the restaurant is we get the joke that the motorbike ride set up, which is that it may not be the best mode of transportation if you spent the previous night engaging in pretty vigorous anal activity. Fair enough, and the teasing there from Mut using his Southern dialect is downright adorable, but what's most interesting is we get confirmation that both Mut and Rak are out in their communities.

While this is not necessarily surprising with Mame, outside of her university set stories most of her characters are reconciled of their sexuality from the start. They may not necessarily be publicly out, but they're aware of and enerally accepting of their sexuality and even confident in it. I actually think Mame's spectrum of where people are at in their coming out journey is one of the better aspects of her shows, as it gives people at all different parts of that journey characters they can relate to.

We re-encounter Palm here, he's kind of similar to Mut, or at least Mut a few years ago, a less than flush native of the island who works whatever odd jobs he can find. Rak finds him a bit annoying which is fair, but I did enjoy the small bit of teasing between Palm and Mut. I think they have a pretty cute bro relationship. Once they go to sit down Rak (and we the viewer) get to meet another community member who heaps quite a bit of praise on Mut for his work and contribution to their community. Mut's shy reaction is very sweet and the scene overall offers a glimpse to Rak of the person Mut truly is, beyond the shameless flirt.

We also get backstory for Mut, learning that he had a falling out with his father at 15, leading to him leaving that home. It's not clear if his sexuality may have been a factor, but homophobic parents have been present in Mame's work before and are something that very sadly continues to be consistent in many queer kids lives IRL, so I don't think it's farfetched. This particular scene is one of the most well-acted I think we've gotten from Fort in it's minimalism. I think Fort feels comfortable with the flirty-charmer character type, and the way he holds himself, how he schools his face, his tone, as he talks about the fallout with his father is so well done. His eyes too, Fort does a lot of really excellent acting with his eyes. What particularly felt accurate to me was the sort of emotionlessness that we see. Experiences like he had, particularly with a parent are really hard to reconcile. As humans we want to have a loving relationship with our parents, more specifically we want to be certain they love us. When it becomes clear they don't, it's a very difficult thing to accept, in particular because it's necessary to simultaneously recognize that you are not at fault in the situation. That's kind of why most people require actual therapy to work through experiences like this. But when that's not an option, the way you deal with it is usually dissociation. You can't dwell on it, let it get to close, because then it will cause a problem, so you keep it at arm's length. That's what we see here with Mut, and what Fort portrays so well. We also get one of the most heartbreaking lines in Mut saying "My dad never takes back what he says. I suppose that's the only thing we have in common." Mut is proud of being a person who keeps their word, we see him mention it before, and we now see that it's a trait with a direct connection to his father. Seemingly the only potentially positive connection he can create there.

For Rak's part, we see those little cracks forming in those walls, he recognizes Mut's vulnerability, he's practically appalled at the idea of Mut's father kicking him out, which based on what we can presume is a very close relationship with his mother, sister, and niece, is understandable. He doesn't understand that betrayal from family really. But he's starting to see Mut as a more well rounded human being, versus the way he'd initially saw him which is solely a potential sex partner/distraction. We then start to get our first bit of insight into Rak when Mut asks him why he became a writer. In the voiceover we hear that he started writing to escape, but his spoken response is that it started as him just wanting to share stories he loved with people. Given that his chosen genre is romance, he wanted to escape to these happily ever after love stories, and share them with people who also want that, because to him happily ever after is only a fantasy, it's not attainable in the real world. Peat's body language is wonderful here, the crossed arms, and looking off kind of the side instead of meeting Mut's gaze directly show that he's being deliberate in how much he's sharing, but in the end I think he still reveals more than he intended with his answers. Mut questions if he's happy, and Rak says that if he weren't he wouldn't be Tongrak, the writer, to which Mut replies "That's all there is to life. And you've been doing a good job". Now I kind of feel like there's nuance missing in the translation, but I'm not the person to address that. But the sentiment seems to be 'happiness is what's important, and by valuing that you're doing a good job' and Rak is very touched by that. He says he doesn't recieve compliments very often, and while I don't know if that's fully accurate given his success and handsomeness, there's a great deal of difference in someone complimenting your work or your looks and someone recognizing that that you're doing a good job as a person, especially a person with a traumatic past. Being a survivor of any kind of trauma creates a lot of pitfalls that are difficult to overcome and create even a semblance of a normal life, and so having that effort recognized, even if not directly is really affirming. We see Rak very intentionally return this compliment to Mut, which communicates a level of recognition.

This conversation also kind of confirms for me that Rak is a bit of a self-insert character for Mame, especially considering that he brings up criticism that his stories get. I've never directly seen or encountered it, but I have heard rumors of Mame getting upset and even responding to negative critiques of her work. Her use of more problematic tropes is a valid criticism, and while I can see some progress from one series to the next, I do also feel like she falls back on what's "easy" instead of really trying to push her stories into more positive directions. While her sexuality is her business, she is a woman writing about gay male relationships, and honestly sometimes it's unrealistic to the point of being distracting. As I've said before, I don't truly expect realism from Mame, but her stories are meant to be in the genre of realistic fiction, they're not fantasy or sci-fi (leaving TBNW out of it for now). It's also very important to recognize that many gay men who watch BL do find some of the tropes she often uses to be damaging, both because they portray gay men in not the best light, but also because they set up potentially problematic expectations in young queer or questioning men who might partake in her stories.

We then cut to night again, joining Mut at home and he's trying to weasel information out of Kom, who does ask Connor, but Connor refuses to give any, only telling him to ask Rak himself, which I appreciate. We can suspect that Connor is kinda trying to matchmake here, but I appreciate him being a good friend to Rak and not revealing his secrets. In the end he calls Rak and invites him diving and we get to the last portion of this episode. Let us pray I can fit my thoughts in a single post.

Now aside from how honestly weird it is that Rak showed up for diving in a small fortunes worth of luxury jewlery (why?), when he sees Palm there as well he gets a little upset, seemingly because he thought there was potential for another hookup. Which I guess is fine, but why would you think diving is the code word for that, when it's literally part of how Mut makes is living? But moving on, they get out into the water, Mut get's Rak all set in his gear and as he's going to get Palm to help him get his gear on Rak goes ahead and dives (that impulsiveness again!). Setting aside my frustration with Rak's fully dangerous decision here, we do get a really lovely little scene of the underwater flora and fauna. Things take a downturn when Rak has a series of flashbacks. It's not really clear what triggers them here, but we see three scenes back to back. First his parents arguing, when he's quite young...8-9 (?), then him comforting his sister, both of them late teens it looks like (they look to be in school uniforms, but could potentially be college), after her boyfriend leaves her after finding out she's pregnant, and then with his mother again, the final sentence is a bit garbled, and not translated in the captions, but logically I think it's something along the lines of "Don't trust in love, if you don't want to end up like me."

As a child, watching two women he cares for deeply suffering because men that they trusted to love and care for them simply didn't would certainly put a bad taste in anyone's mouth about love. So we've kind of identified the catalyst for why Rak doesn't believe in love, even having witnessed it with Kom and Connor. Though I understand in the book there's perhaps some insight into negative feelings related to that relationship, and Kom "taking Connor away". I haven't read either Love Sea or Love Sand, so this is based off of conversations with people who have, so I could be wrong, but I don't think it's a stretch to think of Rak grappling with negative thoughts related to Kom and Connor, even if he's recognizing that those thoughts are a bit ridiculous. It's normal to mourn the loss of what was easy and comfortable when friends find romantic partners and you have to figure out what the new normal is, you just have to make sure you keep resentment and negative feelings under control and don't let them fester.

I will point out though, is that one cinematic choice that's made here is having the sort of washed out blue tones of the flashbacks match the underwater coloring. It keeps the scenes from being too jolting as they cut back and forth, an dI think it was an excellent idea.

Due to the flashback Rak kind of panics, looses his regulator and Mut basically finds him just in time. Giving him some mouth to mouth oxygen before getting him reset so they can go back to the surface.

This type of scene would have been very difficult to film, even if it wa managed in a single take, which is kind of unlikely, and so massive props to Fort and Peat for doing some amazing work here.

Returning to the boat we see Mut become very serious about how dangerous Rak's actions were, but that seriousness is balanced with a lot of empathy as well. I can't fully express my thoughts on the metaphor I feel like is intended in the "they need buddies" conversation, but there's something happening there. Mut does try to talk about why Rak panicked, but Rak shuts him down and we get a convo about the wordplay that is their names instead. Mut here is trying to lighten the situation a bit, and I think Rak kind of recognizes that, but is too stuck in his darker memories to really let it happen and he says something I don't know that he means to. That "Love is a figment of our imaginations". And he believes that, and you can see that Mut know he believes it, and his reaction is the most "Oh sweetie" look I've ever seen. (Seriously, Fort's expressions are always so fantastic). The moment is broken when Rak pulls a Kim Theerapanyakul and says "I'm hungry" and walks away.

We do get s teensy post credits scene which returns us to the restaurant where Rak sadly finds out that at many fresh seafood restaurants those tanks aren't just for ambiance (Bless you red fish for nourishing us) and we get some more good natured flirting from Mut "Will you eat me if I'm tasty"...boy if you don't.

Now we saw this same kind of thing last ep, where we ended on a pretty serious tone, go the end title screen and then a more humorous scene after. I think it's kind of intended to leave us as an audience on a more positive note instead of just wandering through the rest of our day traumatized and sobbing.

As we see the actual credits roll we get confirmation of my suspicion that the scene might change and progress as the episodes go on and indeed this episode we see Mut join Rak at the beach at a companionable distance. A bit curious to see if we might also have a change up when they go to the city.

Overall this was an excellent episode, clearly much to unpack (as you can see by this 4000 word post. It's well paced, the acting is very good, we're kept engaged as an audience. I didn't talk much about P'Vie and Mook, but I'll make a much shorter separate post for that.