#Shea (hm)

[erwinsvow]

shea please consider a drabble on shy!reader calling rafe ‘dad’ for the first time. AH I NEED

last one before bed.. ♡

it started off as a little joke, the word coming to mind because of the way rafe always talked to you, urging you to be more careful and looking out for you.

"put that shit away, c'mon. you'll be up all night and then you won't let me sleep either," he says, when you point in the direction of the coffee shop and pull out your wallet. he drags you away, a pout taking over your pretty face.

"okay, dad," you tease, though it doesn't come out like a joke this time. it comes out sincerely, agreeing immediately, putting your wallet away even though you don't want to.

"yeah, that's right. listen to dad." you stop in your tracks, a few feet away from rafe's truck, brain starting to go haywire and fuzzy. rafe stops and turns, looking back at you stuck in place. "hm?"

"dad?" you question, repeating it, enjoying the feel of it on your tongue. rafe smiles at you, smirking and laughing, so you smile too. you don't know that you've just created a monster.

"yes?" he asks, stalking towards you and taking your face into his hands. "don't go stupid on me now, kid."

"sorry, dad. can't help it." you feel uncomfortable, wetness pooling between your legs, heart thudding fast. maybe it was wrong, maybe it was weird, but you didn't care in that moment.

"get in the truck," rafe orders, and you comply, darting back to the door and hand on the handle to open the passenger side door. "nope. the back. wanted a treat right? dad's gonna give it to ya."

[calicoups]

౨ৎ sheet masks & kisses — csc

synopsis you couldn’t let those sheet masks you ordered go to waste, could you? pairing seungcheol x fem reader genre fluff. word count 1.3k hani’s note just terms of endearment for reader (doll, sweetheart) and use of scissors (for its intended use, of course). literally thought of this as i was doing my skincare before bed. and also i miss my cutie cherry bunny guy :((

seungcheol’s shoulders shake with laughter at a video of a cat falling on his phone. it’s actually amusing seeing the things seungcheol finds funny. you swear his laugh could heal someone.

at this moment, you’re laying comfortably on seungcheol’s chest who is splayed out on the couch. you’re not doing anything in particular, just admiring seungcheol. you play with his brown locks, the silver chain around his thick neck and you poke his cheeks, pink lips and his dimples whenever they pop out as he smiles.

you swear a family of eight could live in his dimples.

there’s this glow on his skin, it makes you jealous how beautiful he is and so effortlessly at that. your finger travels upwards from his jaw on the left side of his face to his forehead then back down on the right side of his face, finger landing in the dip above his collarbones. the indent above his clavicles are deep due to the way he’s laying on the couch.

“cherry?”

a ‘hm’ sound echoes in the room, his chest vibrates. seungcheol pauses the video and looks at you, giving you his undivided attention.

“do you wanna do sheet masks with me?”

“sheet masks?” he cocks his head to the side slightly.

“yeah, i ordered a bunch two weeks ago and they came a few days ago but i didn’t have anyone to try them with,” you pause, “wanna be my testing buddy?”

“testing buddy, huh?” he muses, “let’s do it!”

without saying another word, you scramble off of seungcheol and disappear to grab a few sheet masks. when you return, you notice that seungcheol has gone back to watching those cat videos while he was waiting for you to get back. you tap his knee and hold out the different sheet masks, fanning them out like a deck of cards.

“take your pick: lotus, shea butter, green tea or mung bean?”

“hm,” seungcheol puts a finger on his chin to exaggerate his thinking then puts that finger on a packet, “i wanna try lotus root.”

“green tea for me then!” you put the rest on the coffee table, “do you want me to do yours first or mine?”

“can i do yours first, please?”

you think you might die there and then. cause of death: seungcheol saying please.

when you agree to his request, he lets out a quiet yet excited ‘okay’ and plants his knees either side of your body. using his hands, he pushes back your hair, “don’t wanna get it trapped under the mask.”

then, he grabs the green tea extract mask you picked and very, very carefully rips it open, slipping out the wet sheet. and all you can do in this moment is simply stare at seungcheol. he’s doing this with almost trembling hands, wanting to be so careful with the mask, not wanting to tear it as he unfolds it and not wanting to startle you as he places it on your face.

the mask is definitely bigger than your face, it bunches up at the ends and becomes annoying for seungcheol as he tries to smooth it down. remembering a video he saw, he wipes his hands on a tissue from the coffee table and gets up from his spot.

“wait here, i’ll be back in a second,” he ruffles your hair and walks away to grab a pair of small silver scissors.

“are you going to do what i think you’re going to do?” you watch as he straddles you again, scissors in hand. you admit that he looks a little crazy right now, kneeling above you with the scissors in his large hands.

“depends on what you’re thinking,” he tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, “i saw this trick somewhere to make your mask fit better because your face is so tiny.”

“oh yeah, i’ve seen that! go ahead, just don’t poke me.”

“i would never, doll.”

seungcheol uses his thumb and forefinger to lift the mask so that the scissors don’t touch your skin, snipping at three spots: the nose bridge, upper lip and chin. he uses his fingers to connect the cut pieces together then leans back to look at his work.

at some point, he had grabbed a mirror on the way back from retrieving the scissors and he hands the mirror to you which you use to inspect for what feels like a while because how is he so good at this?

“i’m just too good, aren’t i?” seungcheol puffs out his chest in pride and you gawk at him then back at yourself in the mirror.

“yeah,” you mumble, “a little too good…‘cus who else have you done this on, huh?”

“excuse me?” seungcheol dramatically places a hand on his chest, “only you, sweetheart, you know that!”

you laugh at his exaggeration, “just teasing you, cherry.”

seungcheol folds his arms over his chest and pouts before mimicking your pose on the couch next to you, “whatever, it’s my turn so get over here.”

since seungcheol’s legs are stretched out, you take this opportunity to sit on his thighs instead of kneeling like he did. you kiss his pouty lips, “such a cutie guy.”

“here,” he hands you the packet of the sheet mask and you take it to tear it open.

the sheet is cold at your fingertips and the liquid coats them. seungcheol holds his hair back for you to lay the mask on his face. to no surprise, the mask fits perfectly on his face and doesn’t even need sizing it down like yours did.

seungcheol stares at you, his brown eyes following yours. you know what he’s doing. he’s making sure that you know you have all of his attention, that he’ll do anything you ask, may that be big or small, silly or not.

you copied what seungcheol had done to your mask and flatten his, getting rid of bumps and making sure it stuck to his handsome face properly. you were almost done but seungcheol being seungcheol, he can never be serious. he captures you with his arms and pulls you close to his chest, squeezing his arms around your body.

“this is payback for the same thing you did to me last time, doll.”

you can barely get your words out with the strength he’s using, “what did…i do last…time?”

“you did this too! said you were loving me or something?”

you never forgot, you just wanted to taunt him because you love when he's on the receiving end of your teasing comments.

“let go! i can’t breathe!” you wiggle in his tight hold and he finally spares you. you put on an act of trying to catch your breath, seungcheol scoffs playfully, “i didn’t even squeeze you as hard as you squeezed me, doll.”

“yeah, you got me there. but you weren’t affected by my strength, anyways,” you point out, “you’re way stronger than me.”

“maybe you should come to the gym with me next time.”

“yeah, yeah,” you pat your face to check the mask, “hey, i think we should remove the masks now.”

you both take the mask off and stuff each one back in its packet.

“okay, now pat the extract in!” you instruct and gently pat at your skin. seungcheol just watches.

“why aren't you patting it in?” at this, seungcheol doesn’t say anything but tilts his head up to gesture at you to do it for him. so, you use your hands to do seungcheol’s job, palms curving at his cheeks as they tap repeatedly. you get more aggressive with each tap and seungcheol’s eyes close shut at each contact of your hand with his cheeks.

“okay, now you’re just borderline slapping me.”

you squish his cheeks together and kiss his lips, “sorry, need your skin to absorb it quick.”

“i need to be compensated, doll.”

“compensation? for what?”

“for all the slapping!”

“i wasn’t slapping but fine, i’ll compensate.” you huff, “what must i do?”

seungcheol puffs out a cheek and taps it, you press a kiss to it. then, he turns his head and puff out the other cheek, you kiss it. he does it again and you can’t help but giggle at his antics yet you follow without protest.

“how many more kisses do you want?” you punctuate each word with a kiss to his cheeks.

“hm…one more?”

you sigh loudly because seungcheol points to his lips this time. say less, you would gladly kiss his lips anytime.

[cottagecheese1]

Chapter 2

summary: A few years after your father died, your mother marries a new man, to you having a new family meant new begging's, but what happens when your new begging comes spiraling apart just because of the people that made them. paring: dark stepdad Andy Barber x reader x dark dbf Lloyd Hansen x reader x dark stepbrother Johnny storm x reader x dark bbf Colin Shea.

warnings- (DDLG undertones) stepcest, Johnny is NOT Andy's biological father, he is the adopted son. smut, do not engage if you are uncomfortable with any of the following, spanking, blackmail, p in v, edging, thigh riding, oral, fingering.

Series master list right here

The day was new, sadly, after last night you didn’t know if leaving your room was a good option in the first place, well of course you’d live, but the embarrassment you felt at the moment made you feel like the world was ending. You always felt a little sensitive and awkward towards every little situation that came your way. When you say it in your head it always sounds like a bad thing even though there are worse things in the world, and you shouldn’t even come close to feeling unfortunate in any situation–or thats what your mother would tell you, at a point your life your mother used to make you feel vain–blaming you for your fathers death saying it was your fault, of course you knew your mother had loved you, I mean she was also going through the grief of losing her husband, you shouldn’t be selfish–thats what she would also tell you.

After a long two hours of laying in bed, you rolled in bed and looked at your alarm clock that read 9:23am, and you could already hear the shuffling and laughter of the boys in the kitchen, deciding to just suffer through it and just hope nobody brings up the previous night, they all probably forgot about it by now, right? You could only hope because you sure haven’t forgotten.

Making your way down the hall where the chuckling and the sizzling of bacon started to make itself more present as you stepped into the kitchen, your head automatically goes down towards the floor when the chatter abruptly stops–the awkward sizzling of bacon mocking you as you walk towards the bread.

Andy stops and turns toward you with a small smile while leaning on the marble countertop, finally deciding to break the silence, “good morning honey, I made breakfast if you’re interested, bacon and uh maybe some pancakes if Johnny will save some for the rest of us.” he says the last part while turning towards a shirtless johnny stuffing his mouth full, mumbling out a “sorry”.

You tilt your head up toward Andy, and grab the bread, “no thanks Andy, maybe later–thanks though–well not that I don’t want any it's just-” you stutter out, until Andy interrupts you with a soft chuckle.

Andy walks behind you–tucking a piece of hair behind your ear before he leaned down to press a small kiss to your temple, “Oh pumpkin, what am I gonna do with you hm? With your cute self.” your cheeks tinted red, and besides that you could hear Johnny, and Colin snickering–probably making fun of you.

Not really knowing how to respond, but suddenly another thought comes to mind–where's your mother? Now curious, you turned and asked Andy, face still red as a beet, “um- where's my mom?” Andy half listens to you as he plays with your hair softly.

“She’s on a business trip, won’t be back for a few weeks, so you get to spend some alone time with us.” Andy says as he smirks.

You advert your gaze back to the toaster and give him a quick “okay”, before turning back around he huffs dramatically grabbing his keys swiftly, but before he heads out, he stops before the two chuckling boys.

“You boys be nice, treat her good until I get home, okay? Oh honey, if you need anything just give me a call, okay? Johnny should help you with anything, if not, I’ll be back around 11:00. Be good you two.”, and at that Andy was out the door, now it’s just you and them.

Johnny sighed and got up dramatically, “I’m gonna go take a shower, you kids have fun.” he said as he walked toward his bedroom.

Now it was just Colin and you, but as soon as you heard the toaster pop up, you scurried to your room–not even bothering to grab the butter–once you got to your room, closing the door you sighed and switched your phone on for the next hour.

💼

After another 30 minutes of contemplating if you should leave your room or not, you do. Opening the door slowly, and walking down the hall to the living room, where you thought watching TV would be an option for you, but Colin seemed to be taking up the couch and the entire atmosphere, and God was it intimidating.

Before you could turn away, and advance to the comfort of your own room–Colin stopped you abruptly. He threw his head back over the back of the couch, and called your name out.

“Hey!- don’t leave, come join me, I’m watching 21 jump street, I want you to come watch it with me.”

He sounded so demanding, but maybe that's just his way of expressing himself, so you watch as he scoots over a tad, and pats the spot next to him. This is when you seem to notice he doesn’t have a shirt on under his thin jacket, but you still sit down awkwardly next to him.

Suddenly he scoots closer to you, and wraps an arm around you, pulling you to him slightly as he says “relax baby, just getting comfortable, you wanna lay on me?”

“Oh, well I’m ok right now, I wouldn’t wanna-” he cuts you off by his own words, “cmon baby, I don’t mind, it's just some friendly cuddles, don’t gotta be all shy about it.” he says the last part chuckling.

You stay silent as he speaks again, “Here–I’ll help you.” Coin grunts a bit as he pulls you on top of him, and pushes your head onto his chest, softly stroking your hair. As much as you’d hate to admit it, it did feel kind of nice, maybe because he was nice and warm, and solid–Colin interrupts your train of thought when he speaks again.

“Isn’t this nice baby? All nice and relaxed…You're such a good girl, you know that?” he says with a mischievous glint in his voice while stroking your back, his voice still vibrating off of you he continues, “So, so quiet. Bet you're a virgin huh? All pure and untouched, from the way you're grinding on my dick and acting all innocent about it, you have to be.”

You feel stiff all the sudden, like you can’t move, now you're overly aware of the fact that his dick is poking your thigh. Then to make things worse he leans down toward your ear, “You know me, and Johnny talked about fucking you last night? Or how adorable you would look trying to wrap your lips around our cocks–and the tears that would run down that pretty face as we both fucked you till you couldn’t walk–or talk–bet you're a cock drunk bitch when you have the chance, huh?”

This is when you really started to freak out, trying to shove away from him eagerly, “Stop! Get off me! Andy will come back any time.”, and Colin just laughed at your plea, which made you slightly confused.

“Oh Baby, you poor girl, Andy’s the worst of both of us, if you knew all the dirty shit he’s said about you, you’d be crying–or well you already are–your new daddy just wants to pound you into his mattress until you're crying honey, and so much more.”

Your eyes widened at his statement, that couldn’t be, Andy cared about you..right? The thoughts that ran a million miles in your head suddenly got interrupted by another presence entering the room. Johnny.

Crying out for him as Colin licked and sucked on your neck, making you whimper pathetically in the process, “Johnny, please get him off of me..” you said pleadingly.

Johnny stared at you mockingly as he bent down to your level, where you still laid beneath Colin helplessly. He stroked the side of your face teasingly before he said, “Now why would I do that hm? Not when you’re whimpering so sweetly baby.” Colin then let up off you, leaning back into the couch, pulling you into his lap in the process as you felt your thighs subconsciously rub together.

After Johnny made his way beside you and Colin–sandwiching yourself between them as result, he stroked your thigh up and down, slowly making his way to your clothed core, “Look how fucking red you are, just from some teasing hm? you wanna feel me sweetheart? Don’t even try to hide how wet you are–bet you haven’t even had your first kiss yet.”

You had to be slightly surprised at his forwardness, no you haven’t had your first kiss yet, but you just told yourself that you're waiting for the right person. Colin chuckled at Johnny’s antics, this is also when you noticed that Johnny was not wearing a shirt–or pants for a matter of fact, this realization made you feel hotter all over.

Colin leaned over and looked at Johnny, “You know the old man won’t like it if we take her first kiss without him being here."

Johnny rolled his eyes and scoffed, still stroking your thighs, “Fuck that old geezer, I'm taking what's min-” Johnny got cut off by a loud slam of a door and jingling of car keys jingling. You three looked over toward the door to see Andy in the doorway, his arms crossed intimidatingly.

“what's going on here fellas..trying to break her in without me?” Andy said with a smirk as he reached the end of his sentence. He walked over to you slowly, and took your small face into both of his large hands, “And what about you honey? Having fun without daddy, hm? Good thing I’m here now.” He ends the last of his words with a chuckle.

Pleading for help wouldn’t even save you right now, after what Johnny and Colin just confessed to you–especially Andy–all you can do is hope for the best.

A/n: sorry for the short late chapter ya'll (I edited it at the end because the order was fucked up for those who were as confused as me.)

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

taglist, @whenmypartysover

part one / part two / part three / part four / part five / part six / part seven / part eight / part nine / part ten / part eleven / part twelve /

blakefriarr_

liked by _quinnhughes, nicohischier and 7,665 others

blakefriarr_: 'you should wear sunscreen, daws' 'no i'll be fine'

'fine' being not wearing a shirt because it physically hurts him. the man is the human embodiment of @/njdevil00

view 736 comments..

dawson1417: ok it's not THAT bad

→ blakefriarr_: ok so let me hug you

→ dawson1417: uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

→ daswson1417: you have cooties

nicohischier: i cannot escape even in the offseason

nicohischier: where did you GET that, blakey

→ blakefriarr_: If nico hischier has a million menaces, then I am one of them. If nico hischier has ten menaces, then I am one of them. If nico hischier has only one menace then that is me. If nico hischier has no menaces, then that means I am no longer on earth. If the world is against being menacing to nico hischier, then I am against the world.

→ nicohischier: i hate you

→ blakefriarr_: you asked me to text you when we landed like an anxiety ridden mother letting her newly licensed child drive the kia sportage to subway

jackhughes: second picture was a jumpscare

→ blakefriarr_: are you sure it's not still just loading and you're looking at a black screen

adamfantilli: we haven't facetimed in sixteen hours im having withdrawals

→ blakefriarr_: @/trevorzegras

→ trevorzegras: you rang

→ blakefriarr_: when the ducks sign my rookie you better murder everyone who breathes around him

→ trevorzegras: the draft hasn't happened yet

→ blakefriarr_: WHEN THE DUCKS SIGN MY ROOKIE, ZEGRAS.

→ trevorzegras: i will do murder

→ blakefriarr_: horray

→ blakefriarr_: love you, rookie

→ adamfantilli: love you, coach

lhughes_06: getting sunburnt sounds like a skill issue

→ drayanewman: 🤨 ok larry the lobster

→ blakefriarr_: currently wondering how larry and nj devil managed to pull us

→ dawson1417: larry and nj are the only ones equipped to deal with the egregious attitudes

_quinnhughes: just so you're aware a pit stop at the lake house before you go to canada is mandatory

→ blakefriarr_: don't tell me what to do

→ _quinnhughes: so when's the flight

→ blakefriarr_: sunday.

edwards.73: do you prefer 50 or 30 spf

→ blakefriarr_: don't. you're on probation.

→ edwards.73: I WAS ONLY AN HOUR LATE

→ blakefriarr_: I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD

jj.friar31: living alone is not nearly as great as i thought it would be

→ blakefriarr_: you know we share a doordash account, right?

→ jj.friar31: i can't cook, b, what do you want from me

→ blakefriarr_: SIX CHICKEN SANDWIHCHES IN A DAY??

→ jj.friar31: i'm bulking

→ blakefriarr_: you are the largest red flag i've ever met i have failed as a sister

→ jj.friar31: my original comment was meant to be a roundabout way to say i missed you but i take it back suck a dick

→ blakefriarr_: i'm on vacation what do you think i've been spending my time doing? bible study?

→ jj.friar31: you should be stripped of your basic human rights

seasmuscasey26: sixty four

→ blakefriarr_: hmmmmm i think maybe eighty eight or twelve

→ seamuscasey26: eighty eight and six hundred three 😏

→ blakefriarr_: you get me shea

→ luca.fantilli: what... is this? even?

→ seamuscasey26: @/blakefriarr_ three eighty five 💀💀

→ blakefriarr_: stop 💀

ryangraves27: merc appears to be very happy

→ blakefriarr_: i tend to have that affect on him

→ ryangraves27: ok 👍

dougieham: wear protection

→ blakefriarr_: that's what i said

→ dougieham: hm. all the protection?

→ blakefriarr_: i eat protection

→ dougieham: i don't think that's what the flavoured ones are meant for

→ blakefriarr_: fr? cause i've been eating a strawberry condom at 10pm every night for months

→ dougieham: eat them for breakfast like a grownup at least

jesperbratt: yeah

→ blakefriarr_: yeah

markestapa: nobody needs to see all of the pda

→ blakefriarr_: wrong. you need to see it, i read so on facebook

→ markestapa: well shit i can't argue with facebook

→ blakefriarr_: wrong again. you can't argue with me. i've been wrong once and i always learn from my mistakes

view more comments..

[fell-is-suffering]

To: fell sans

Classic Sans: maybe watch some movies that make you feel tired, like some boring movies? *He questions their insomnia, still looking confused as heck*

//my dad watches boring stuff on his laptop when he gets tired, and he goes to bed, then puts on his sleeping mask over his nose, so, he can breathe. -Kayla Shea btw he has COPD, so, he needs that machine to help him sleep. -Kayla Shea again.

"hm. seems okay....i'll try it.."

[ourladyofeternity]

Hm… yeah, that’s also a low blow. When Amber left, Jewelle jumped up (and I’m sure it would have been Kimberly if she wasn’t already at the tour) why not let Tara had the role? (I’m sorry, I’m not doubting Betty’s talent, but as a POC myself it just feels so wrong to have a ⚪️ Persephone, and even more when you have awesome understudies as Tara, or Shea… idk, hopefully she will shut my mouth, but I highly doubt it)

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

More Werewolf Bookshop Clerk!Richard Stuff

Because evidently I wasn’t done yet.😹

Once again, THIS IS MERELY A FANTASY.

RA Masterlist

- Be it you who’s sitting in one of the worn leather chairs or Richard on his break or at work, you two are constantly darting furtive glances over the edge of books at each other.

- He uses his staff card to give you discounts. However, to keep things fair, he has offered his boss to take the costs out of his wages.

- They won’t, though, because they’re rooting behind the scenes for you two.

- Even though the fact you are like a thick slow burn novel drives them up the bloody wall.

- Richard notices it the moment you change products for personal care.

- One time he leaned in a little bit too close because of you having switched lip balms.

- You stood frozen in place, subdued by shock and the spell the whiff of his cologne mixed with his proximity put on you.

- It took him every ounce of self control not to grab your face and taste your lips rather than the quick sniff he allowed himself to satisfy his curiosity.

- “Honey,” he murmured as he nudged your nose with his. “Used to be grapefruit. Hm, shame, I liked that one.”

- You also heard him appreciatively mumble under his breath when you switched shampoos. It seems he likes the scent of shea butter better than raspberry.

- Slips in book vouchers and coupons with your purchases.

- Also has asked the café staff to give you his little coordinated coffee and tea gift boxes on the days he isn’t there.

- Yes, you read that right. He makes wee gift boxes with coffees and teas he comes across while doing groceries or are his personal favourites. They also tend to contain baked goods from local bakeries.

- Nowadays has the courage to shyly ask you to sit with him during his break so you two can read together.

- He’s still working up to the moment he finally dares to ask you out on his day off. You know, just to meet up for coffee and maybe walk around town. Dinner is optional. It’s not a date… nah.

- Even though it didn’t bother him before, he now wishes you’re there in his bed so he can snuggle up to you.

- Richard basically yearns for it on the mornings after the full moon, when he’s himself again and the last violent shocks of the transformation have left him.

- Naked on the cold floor.

- Frequently (unconsciously) makes breakfast for two.

- The first few times he packed it up to have the next day. Nevertheless, soon he started to give those leftovers to you with a note attached to tell you what it is and a “hope you like it”.

- Occasionally, there’s also a stamp in the shape of a paw.

- Although, are they really leftovers? Technically speaking, it’s rightfully your breakfast.

- Okay, the first time it was the café staff that gave it to you in his stead. Richard stood nearby, feigning interest in a book… which soon turned him getting really immersed in it.

- The next day, you brushed your pinky against his and thanked him for the food.

- He didn’t know what to say, how you figured it out it came from him so fast (I mean, not that he’s subtle when it comes you). So he merely looked at you, basking in your smile with the silent resolution to give it to you himself from now on.

- Because that’s another thing he wants.

- He wants to provide for you. After all, what good is a Wolf that can’t take care of its mate?

- My gods, it makes him so happy to hear you enjoy his cooking. He’ll go straight to Cloud Nine.

- Loves walking and working out because he can’t sit still. Well, he can, but a day without some form of exercise makes him feel off.

- What he wouldn’t give to have you help bathe him on the morning after the full moon. To have you help him into his pyjamas and bath robe and either guide him back to bed or the couch in the living room.

- To have you tell him to stay home.

- To kiss you before you head out the door for the day.

- To have you drape a blanket over him when he’s (involuntarily) napping or vice versa.

- To live with you as your partner.

- But first he has to ask you out properly.

- And from there he’ll pad along.

[zoi-no-miko]

From the list of asks: 18, 21, and 33 💕

Wheee! *kees*

18. what hair products do you use?

OH DEAR LORD how do I make this not take five pages? A lot. I decided about a year and a half ago that I wanted Good Curls, and one of the main secrets to that is a million pounds of moisture and then add more moisture XD

Shower products: Shea Moisture co-wash, a Verb moisturizing conditioner, and sometimes I'll do Taraji P Henson's tingly scalp treatment which I mostly bought because she's a Hot Bitch but it's really great :3

Post shower: Leave-in conditioner (currently Verb, but I've tried a bunch of curly-hair leave-ins and haven't formed any strong opinions), Marc Anthony curl lotion, Verb's curl foam and ghost oil and occasionally salt spray.

21. something you’ve kept since childhood?

Surprisingly not much, though that's partly due to recently moving counties XD. I still have some of my High School art projects and the sterling silver coffin ring I was so proud to buy as a babby goth. XD

22. the last adventure you’ve been on?

Hm... @jadedbirch and I frequently go on Sushi Adventures, does that count? And we're about to take my parents to the Gregangelo Museum which should be WILD.

Oh!! And we went to Sam's Castle a couple weeks ago which was the cutest??? AND since I feel like musical archeology should count as an adventure we also saw a newly-revived baroque opera called Olimipa Vendicata which was beautifully performed, hella queerly staged and SO. HILARIOUS.

Weirder Ask Meme

[suiciderape]

jesse vidal jr. is not my type its liminal mall ew! get real ew ok so i was staring outside of my window thinking nah this bitch geto realerr tha real imma finna die this ur in my prisoner walls? yes! why bc hes geto real how real? da fuq bitch its my room walls

ew

shes a cunt hahaha

nah it hurtz

what the fucking bitch stupidee cheeze nvm! geyy eww delete we can be geto real murderers without partna in south korea where is he? in the center? me? in the front hm literally shes right next to u ew! mhm what day is it? march 1st mhm nah ok surf fuck get her off of me! huh

i had a vision shes a cude lmfao no it went different u were literally in her fucking house! mrs. b?! hell nah bitch she went ugly geto to stay off me no im confused about what to right its not even the point dudee u do rmbr she died its ugly to follow her on tumblr 1st post cheeze its disgusting no followers its disgusting! its digusting! shes dead!? look im in her liminal mall im a zeus heaven gate? spotify lured her into her mistress mind 1st perioud ew shea ugly as fucke and ew she wants to fuxk me ew shes geto real rude ew ok go home weeno noo no mo mo no! shes in the rume haha rhis is stupid not u surf im in the romeo ew! shes a back stabber im her romeo real real geto bitch! she told me she told me that i would die for dating her sister and not send in the bean eww hahaha damn sk sui shordy 9 what the fuck is this! thats fux yes ew shes geto real real ghetto what is there to do no its me! im gonna fux u right now no! ur soul sister? shordy hes cutee do it asian bean 9 lcg ok! i said no im not put my hands on u! or do anything to u? scene in senesense mean awkward mean girls stole my sign language! posted up? yes i changed into ur clothes hahaha!! he is in my body dudee romeo no fucking way! lets get out of her bitch! yes im her fuck buddy toy bad omg i love her bad ass dicks! omg her lux traineer yes! tumblr queeno britney who the fuck said u couls cunt crack kill crips apple crisp daamn its ghetto liminal mall geto 4realz asian gangster sister luv were sissyboiqt tight? yes! eww hahaha shes not lying its tight wait fr? yes! omg! no! someone else chillmaxextremist omg where? twitter no! where is hee i killed his luv gang im on her bed next to her smoking a cigarette im making sure u dont type her into her liminal mall ew bitch geto ugly door handle um! im in her room rn! fucking nigger! im dead i killed myself how did u kill urself? i typed in liminal mall on tumblr and fell into my macbook pro hhaha ew! ur so weird thats hella geto? how did it get into ur room? jesse vidal jr. put it on my bed the wrong one it was z flip 3 geto hahaha ew! ur fine? yes babe shes in my liminal mall space myspace diamondz u killes him! ew bitch macbook pro? cuter nah they finna get jazelle fag stupidee bitch um cuntz nah were gemimi geto hell 3 she brought in a faggot yoon keeho from eboy manga romeo ew stfu and type sk8r boi

[sound-under-the-sea]

Lilith didn’t recognize her growth spurt until her squad mate pointed it out.

“No longer a short stack anymore, eh, short stack?” Shea asked, pressing her finger on forehead.

“Huh?” Lilith blinked, she glanced up at her. She didn’t understand, the woman was taller than her, how was she supposed to tell?

“You grew over night, Lils.” She said, stepping back to grin at her.

“I told you to stop calling me that, Kelli.” She muttered, glaring at her. No calls her that. Not anymore.

“What do you say, Jasiri?”

“Hm?” The tall man glanced from his bunk. “A foot and a few inches?”

“That’s what I thought too.” The auburn haired woman flashed another grin. “Don’t worry, Clawthorne, you’re still a short stack to me.”

Lilith was slowly getting used to her squad mates at the time when she got her growth spurt. Shea tries any nickname to call her much her annoyance, though she strictly tells them Lily and Lils are extremely off limits.

I just had this worming in my brain as I wanted to explore their dynamic as a trio. I may be itching to do a prompt list ask game if anyone is interested.

[gracifleur]

u kno what ? yeah shea could learn new moves via tm/hm. it’s called chuck & she basically takes the machine & chucks it at someone’s head.

[suspicious-whumping-egg]

I posted 15,547 times in 2022

That's 14,912 more posts than 2021!

609 posts created (4%)

14,938 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@killorbekillian

@that-gay-jedi

@incoherent-introspection

@wizard-email

@wolfeyedwitch

I tagged 5,269 of my posts in 2022

#important - 625 posts

#obikin - 270 posts

#yep - 213 posts

#the sandman - 157 posts

#save - 140 posts

#whump art - 136 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 135 posts

#pride - 120 posts

#fave - 114 posts

#goncharov - 114 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#his whole thing it’s just a thing abt him and it impacts him but his arc isn’t focused on the “tragedy of disability” or anything like that

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

As per @painsandconfusion's suggestion im starting a picrew chain with this picrew! (Shea consider urself already tagged for the chain)

(they/them)

Tagging: @spookyboywhump @loki-the-mad @brutal-nemesis @b0amagination @galaxywhump

151 notes - Posted December 31, 2021

#4

Betrayed, Part 2

If people rly like this I’ll make it a series! Continued from here!!

Supervillain frowned, shifting a hand to the holster at their waist. “As easy as that, hm? I don’t buy it. If those heroes put up with you for that long, you must have some kind of a backbone. You’re planning to betray me, aren’t you? No one likes a turncoat, little hero. You’ve already been double crossed once, there’ll be no one to look out for you if you turn on me.”

Before Hero could interject the stammering explanation that they simply just didn’t want to be hurt, Supervillain struck them hard across the face with their gun in a sharp burst of pain across their cheek.

“No one agrees that quickly if they’re not up to something,” they snapped. “We both know I have my methods to keep you in line— I could have you constantly chained up or strapped down, order Healer to keep you paralyzed until we build a bit of trust between us, break your legs so we have six  uninterrupted weeks to see where your loyalty lies—  I’d rather cut to the chase. You’re one to do so, I’ve noticed. Not like Superhero with their useless monologues.”

Hero shook their head weakly, trembling against the chains that bound them. It was too late to beg now, and they knew it. There was nothing else to do but hope the villain would make it quick.

“So I’m assuming a show of power might be best, nothing more,” Supervillain continued. “You’ve never been up against me alone, little Hero. I won’t hurt you if you become my protege, but you must understand my hesitance. For all I know, you could be a spy. Hell, they could have left you as bait, meant to be snatched up by my henchmen and planted right where you could get all the information you need.”

They paced the room, plucking a weighted baton from a rack of weapons against the wall. “Don’t try to tell me you’re innocent, that’s for me to decide,” they added coldly. They tossed the baton from one hand to another, testing its weight, before swinging it hard at Hero. It cracked hard against their side, right over the scar left by the healed stab wound, and Hero hissed in pain.

They soon lost count of the blows, as Supervillain rained a volley of hits over them, one after another. The pain was sharp and stinging with every strike, and they were blinking back tears after mere minutes.

At long last, the villain paused and stepped back to take a look at them. Other than the defeated look on their face and the fresh blood streaking their bare torso, they were the same— no signs of a cracking facade.

Supervillain nodded, content of Hero’s loyalty for the time being. They reached down to unlock the wrist cuffs, keeping Hero’s legs secured to those of the chair, and strode from the cell.

They let themself break down as soon as they were alone, burying their face in their hands and allowing their tears to fall in broken sobs until they gasped for breath. So it was quite a surprise when Supervilain tapped them on the shoulder, alerting them to their presence. The villain wore the twisted little grin that was only brought about by watching others suffer.

“Stop crying, you have work to do,” they snapped. “I want you to write down everything about those traitors that might help me— base locations, personal connections between team members, powers, weaknesses. You don’t know what I already know, so I can guarantee I’ll catch you on something if you lie. Give me enough information and I’ll consider your innocence.” They shoved a paper and pen at Hero’s face, then stormed from the room.

Hero’s unsaid words stuck in their throat, and they heard Supervillain bolt the door behind them with a heavy click. I won’t lie to you, I want them dead as much as you do. But they’d have to convince Supervillain with more than empty words. With no other choice, they began scribbling down every detail on their betrayers that they could remember.

~~~

Part 3 is out now! Link here

181 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

#3

A not-so-gentle reminder:

If you are a TERF, support TERFS, or platform TERFS, get the fuck off my blog. Platforming TERFS (yes, including JKR) sends the message that you do NOT support trans people. You don’t get to pick both sides. Trans women are women. Trans men are men. Nonbinary people ARE nonbinary, they don’t just identify as such. Transmeds can fuck themselves, and neopronouns are essential for all people to express themselves. Gender binaries are a social construct and true feminism, true EQUALITY; includes all sexes, gender identities, orientations, races, beliefs, and levels of ability. True equality doesn’t EXCLUDE.

212 notes - Posted April 20, 2022

#2

Trope Talks: Forced Affection

Tw: intimate whumpers

Whumpers who force their whumpees to play along with their convoluted games of obsessive love. Whumpees who hate that they find it easier to act like they love their whumpers.

Whumpees who who kiss back. Whumpees who lean into whumper’s hand when their hair is stroked. Whumpees who return an embrace from their whumper because they’d rather have twisted comfort than none at all. Whumpees who picture their lover touching them instead of whumper, because otherwise the unwanted intimacy is unbearable.

Maybe they hate it, maybe they shove down the urge to fight every time they’re touched. Every time whumper whispers another sweet, possessive thing in their ear. It’s better than being hurt, so they force themself to endure. Maybe one day they do fight, and they’re punished so horribly for their defiance that they go back to silently upholding the facade of love. Or maybe they decide that the pain is better than the sickly sweet imitation of kindness. They‘ll take a dozen lashes, a hundred cuts, before they’ll accept whumper’s touches without fight.

Maybe whumpee can’t help but enjoy it. Whumper is despicable and they know it, but when they’re picked up bridal style and held to whumper’s chest, they’re too touch starved to care. They melt into every touch, silently pleading for affection because they’re so desperate to be loved that they can’t be bothered to be picky. Whumper’s twisted praise is a relief to them, they want to please whumper if it means being loved. They’ll be hurt either way, at least this way they can be comforted after the fact— even if by the same person who did the damage.

250 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Writing Characters with Chronic Pain and Disabilities

PSA: Writing characters with disabilities and chronic pain is great for representation, but I’m seeing harmful tropes and portrayals perpetuated in the way chronic pain and disability is treated in parts of the whump community. Abled people need to stop using chronic pain and/or disabilities purely for “fun and whumpy” purposes. To help address the (hopefully not ill intended) ignorance that likely causes perpetuation of hurtful tropes and harmful portrayals of disabled characters, I’m sorta writing a guide on what to do and not to do when you write a character who is disabled or has chronic pain. I am disabled myself (connective tissue disorder that causes chronic pain among other debilitating symptoms) but obviously all disabled experiences differ so take this all with a grain of salt.

What to do/what is okay to do: An injury causing chronic pain and that being just a part of a character, or a character who becomes disabled (or has been from birth). Their struggle is/can be obviously present and a significant part of their life BUT they must still be a rounded/whole character (background, personality, relationships, etc) if the narrative surrounding their disability was omitted. Writing characters with disabilities and chronic pain is good for representation! I’m not saying it’s bad to have chronic pain be caused by injuries for a character, including whump sustained injuries. A good example of a disabled character done right is Kaz from Six of Crows (Leigh Bardugo is disabled herself tho which obviously plays into why he’s done so well). Kaz uses a cane and has chronic pain caused by a wrongly healed broken leg. His pain and his cane are mentioned often throughout the novel and influence his life experience and perspective. However, his narrative doesn’t focus on his chronic pain: he’s not looking desperately for a cure, his goal is not to someday stop using his cane, etc. (These things are harmful tropes because they portray disability as something completely and totally bad, to be avoided at all costs). Kaz is a badass and competent character, as developed as the other (able bodied) main characters of the story, and his disability is one of many trait about him. If you wanna write a disabled character as an abled person, try to keep those kinds of things in mind (make them developed, make sure their narrative doesn’t focus fully around their disability even tho their disability can/could be a large part of their life, don’t use the “looking for a cure” trope as their whole motive, don’t present disability as a fate worse than death or similar.)

What not to do: What I’m sorta mad about is when someone writes a character who’s constantly suffering from chronic pain/disability and is written in a way where they’re constantly miserable from it and can never feel anything other than the constant sadness/pain their disability causes them. (Perpetuates the trope that disability is constantly horrible and sometimes creates the idea that a life with disability isn’t worth living- which is harmful because it creates the idea that people with disabilities can’t be happy/successful/etc unless they’re faking their disability). It is harmful when their pain or disability is their only trait and/or is only used to make them suffer for “fun” or whump (perpetuates harmful stereotypes around disability- gives the idea that it’s impossible to be happy/a successful person/etc while disabled or having chronic pain, makes light of disability.), Do not write a disability unrealistically and do your research to prevent from ignorance turning into harm. When a character is written disabled/in pain purely for whump, harmful tropes usually end up being perpetuated (the search for a cure trope, the idea that a disability is a tragedy and must be avoided at all costs, etc). Chronic pain is not fun, disability is not whumpy. If you want to write it, do it respectfully. Putting it as the focus of a whump story or as the only trait of a character, especially if you’re an able bodied person and just want to write suffering is not okay. Doing so mitigates and makes light of the real shit people with chronic pain and disabilities live through every day.

Abed people don’t clown on this post. Do not start discourse on this post.

564 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[trollcafe]

Tell me the routine bru

"Hah, 'kay."

"Can't shower e'ery day. Routinely shower Tuesdays 'n Thursdays. Only brush hair when it's wet, Angs' helps wit dat. Uses a shower comb t' get out any loose hairs."

"Only really shampoo Tuesdays, only th' scalp. Gotta rotate it out, too! can't use th' same one fer months. it'll mess it up. Use 'bout half th' bottle, swap it out. Conditioner e'ry shower. Also rotate it- don't use matchin' products, but typically keep t' shea butter conditioners. I also use a dye conditioner fer m' bangs, use that whenever th' greys lookin' harsh. Kinda mixed that m'self?? Works alrightie, jus' gotta use a lil more creme."

"Air dry only, sometimes I wrap m' head up in a shirt or somthin'. Helps wick moisture. Used a diffuser once 'n hated it. Recently Angs 'n Lych started braidin' it 'fore bed, usually just tied it in' a bun 'n let fate take over...Hm, I got a shit ton'a fuckin' curl cremes 'n stuff. Also rotate that out! Usin' th' same product just makes it all gross. Change it out. Right now I'm usin' this jelly stuff that melts int' water, real nice smellin' too! Fer th' days I ain't washin', I refresh wit a lil spray I made. Warm water 'n a few different staple cremes. Wake up, get hair damp wit' spray, shake 'er out."

"Truly th' magic comes from shakin' it out."

[incarnateirony]

Hm. Interesting. Got a chat that was so familiar, it almost seemed like someone trying to bait me at work with Shea stuff, but no, this was a real person that was going through a lot of the same attributes, but what truly slapped me was that this person just got diagnosed with second stage schizoaffective disorder along with their bipolar, and had started confusing their memories with other people's and turning it into delusions of who's life was who's, what was real, and what entities were there, and recognized that even while they were wiccan that shit they were seeing and talking to wasn't real, but they couldn't get control on their emotions and kept falling into a pit.

Like. Is. Is that it? Is it not just bipolar but she's on an increasing schizoaffective bender? And everyone just? Fucking? Enabled it? Thought it was support to let her go off on the bender so far as to register a business on the delusional identity issues?

Edit: Oh my god the longer this goes the more it's like talking to shea back when she wasn't vicious with me. But alarmingly, it went from all the reasons they have delusions to them admitting to impulses to hurt people more out of anger than wanting to hurt people but the hurting people is how they channel their anger but are impulses of hurting others they try to ignore and I just. Wow. This is like Shea 2.0 and it makes so much sense.

Hell it matches hermes telling her outright to stop using channeling as an excuse to avoid personal identity or action, and that it was genuinely dangerous to surrender her own sense of self that often, the motherfucker knew, and she ignored him right into pretending to follow him right off the crazy ledge he put the stop sign in front of.

But when it came time for her to remix her reality, there were people with things to gain that used her in that state, and at the end of the day she's still accountable, but nobody knew better by the end, they all painted in the new world lie and just kept trucking on, and doubled down to enable it to prove some point, and now we're fucking here, with someone after 3 years finally getting people pissed enough to act and she Coincidentally Spontaneously Shaves Her Head Then Flees Through The Silent Hill Persona Fog To Get Psych Meds On Iced Roads. Yeah. Sucks that nobody in her life really cared about her, they all just cared about what they could get out of each other. It's not a happenstance she only started ripping her hair out AFTER I left or that her fixations come on replacing the presence of ME, whether she acknowledges it or not, or admits it to her friends, the longer she stares at the challenges like Philosophy or Name Of Person Rumpocky Was Said To, the more she has to face she's been talking to her own shadow here she just... is projecting her obsession on to replace too late. IDK man. Hell of a hole for them to let her dig and call it caring.

In less than three years she came apart like that. That's not support. That's enabling.

And see, talking to your shadow can even have benefits, as long as you're aware that's what you're doing to analyze and rebuild the self. Talking to the shadow to hide behind it without sentient accountability and glamorize the parts unadultered isn't channeling though, it's just ... you. Maybe something you want to be. But it's just you, talking to yourself. Use it to grow or use it like she has to regress, because she didn't want it to be her, and doesn't want to be her, she wants to be Hermes, or what she understood of Hermes through me, so that's what she got. That's like. the very first spot on the road from the journey, not the destination you start charging people admission tickets at.

Sad, really.

[gwss200group19]

How Can We Combine These Concepts to See Their Effects?

Although these are all hypothetical characters, there is significant data that backs up the concept that TikTok of these topics affect young people’s minds through different lenses.

A young boy watches a video on TikTok where Andrew Tate says, “A woman can’t go around fucking people and pretend it's the same as a man running around fucking people. It’s absolutely not the same. A man can only cheat if he loves someone else. If I have a woman I truly love, and I go out and fuck, and I come back to her, and I don’t care about her (the girl he had intercourse with who is not his partner), and I only love my girl. That’s not cheating. That’s exercise. If she even talks to a dude, that's cheating because females are emotionally invested. ” (Rapid Hustlers, 2022). This young boy may think, “Oh, he has a good point. The comments all agree,” because he watched the whole video, more of these videos will appear. Being exposed to this content, he is being molded to always think, “I get that,” or “I agree.” He may begin to show aggressive behavior towards women as he grows up due to this (James, 2023). Perhaps a girl he’s dating accuses him of cheating, and he argues it isn’t because of the content he surrounds himself with. He begins to only think of women in gendered roles. Rather than having people in his life who may tell him otherwise, he only knows people who watch the same content (Shea 2023, 15:53-16:32). He’s stuck in an echo chamber of this sexist and misogynist idea that his TikTok created because of the way the algorithm works. 

Tiktok from @tate..aikido

Perhaps that idea is too far out, and you may be thinking, “Well, that’s so extreme that never happens.” we can also take the idea more mildly.

This time, a boy or a girl watches multiple videos about video games. The first video is from a popular first-person shooter known as Call of Duty, where the people in the clip are making fun of a girl, and all of the guys are laughing (Zimmerman, 2023). The guy laughs alongside the video; he then begins to play the game, makes fun of other girls, or, more often, simply laughs and doesn’t stop it from happening (Intenta). The girl thinks the game is for guys. That she can’t play it. The guys don’t even want me to play. She thinks “first-person shooters are for guys.” Both people, in some way, think that these war games are for boys (Healey, 2016). Now that video game content is on their FYP. They see videos where attractive girls are playing games like Stardew Valley or Animal Crossing both games are often considered “cozy” and “girly” (Tonya, 2023). The girl thinks, “That’s a girl I could play that game.” Meanwhile, the guy thinks, “Hm, that attractive girl is playing that game; must mean it’s for girls.” While these people may not be thinking these directly, as they continue to watch more content fortifying this idea, their subconscious is being influenced by TikToks.

Tiktok from @cozysimespy with it's hastags that show how cozy games are related to girls often.

Maybe you can’t imagine this happening with a girl. No girl would watch this content that’s so sexist. Maybe you’re a girl who could not imagine watching Andrew Tate or you simply aren’t interested in gaming. However, the point is to show that extreme sexist content isn’t the only content that shows sexist values. Take this example.

A girl downloads TikTok and watches Charli D'Amelio lip-syncing to a video with a beauty filter on. She sees Charli as pretty, thin, and with facial features she could never have. She swipes and continues to watch more and more videos of girls with perfect skin from filters, where the comments have boys saying she’s pretty because of her looks. She begins to believe that she is doing something wrong; her skin has bumps, and she doesn’t know how to look better to get comments like that. She continues to scroll daily; she sees trends like the pigtail theory and thinks, maybe if I wear my hair like that, people will like me. Perhaps while watching, she comes across videos of “that girl,” a concept where girls engage in self-care and betterment but often incorporate a certain fashion style (Aesthetic, 2023).  To fit into the “that girl” aesthetic, she buys products so that people will see her as “that girl.” Without realizing it, she’s fallen into acting and dressing in a gendered stereotype and seeing herself through a tailored misogynist lens, all from TikTok’s algorithm. 

Tiktok from selfcareelovebyl showing the "That Girl" aesthetic

SOURCES

Adile (@misshoxha). Tiktok, November 9, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8aT8Dyu/

𝐀𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐜 (@selfcareelovebyl). Tiktok, July 5, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/@selfcareelovebyl/video/7252443187858509062?_r=1&_t=8i76HWHm8HW

Charli (@charlix_rares_). Tiktok, June 12, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8mYbgdt/

“Gender Stereotypes and Discrimination in Gaming.” INTENTA, September 15, 2022. https://intenta.digital/perspectives/gaming-gender-stereotypes-discrimination/.

Healey, Gareth. “Proving Grounds: Performing Masculine Identities in Call of Duty: Black Ops.” Game Studies 16, no. 2 (December 2016). https://gamestudies.org/1602/articles/healey.

Ionescu, Claudiu Gabriel, and Monica Licu. “Are TikTok Algorithms Influencing Users’ Self-Perceived Identities and Personal Values? A Mini Review.” Social Sciences 12, no. 8 (2023): 465. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci12080465.

James, Will. “Andrew Tate: A Case Study on the Effects of Online Influencers on Students’ Education.” Define the Line, February 20, 2023. https://www.mcgill.ca/definetheline/article/andrew-tate-case-study-effects-online-influencers-students-education.

Matt Shea, “The Dangerous Rise of Andrew Tate,” VICE, YouTube, Jan 13, 2023, documentary, 15:53-16:32, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nj1JSlKzHtc&t=949s.

Rapid Hustlers (@tate..aikido). TikTok, May 24, 2022. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8acrXNA/.

Tonya (@cozysimespy). TikTok, May 30, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT8mYFpY5/

Zimmerman, Jenna (@jenna_zimmerman). Tiktok, August 30, 2023. https://www.tiktok.com/@jenna_zimmerman/video/7273237915218562346?_r=1&_t=8i75HMv5Dpq

[risenwraith]

#178 Sooo not liking this.

Chemo is doom, but for me it was only doom a handful of days every few weeks. Therefore, small manageable doom.

Radiation isn't doom, but it is high maintenance and all the time every damn day.

I have to travel for 3-4hrs 5 days a week.

I'm on a tropical island, and have to half strip for medical stuff, so have to shower daily (very very gently/carefully) or risk being smelly-and-or-fucked-up when a doctor or nurse has to move me like a sack of rice to align me with the magical death beam.

I am supposed to apply cream to roughly half my ribcage three times a day. The best cream is the type that just sits there on your skin for hours before being absorbed. (Bleh.)

This means that ideally I'd be eternally freshly showered, half dressed and covered in shea butter and aloe vera. But that's not possible because half of every day I'm in a car going to or from hospital, and the rest of the time I'm in a shared house and really don't want to wander around oiled up and topless. Gods I wish I could walk about shirtless like men do and it not be An Explicit Thing(TM).

The day in day out time, care, and inconvenience is.... tiring and annoying but also very definitely a First World Me Problem. There is so much worse shit happening to others.

Hm. There's a possibility that not being dead is making me a bit of a privileged arse =P