#Should I become a Christian?

[raisedinthespaghetto]

I don't fear the idea of death. I fear the idea of everything going black forever.

I am very racist.

[ghostlyarchaeologist]

Eliot Spencer | Hard Knock Life

The full-length version!

For @my-beloved-lakes

(Also watch on Youtube)

[idleheathen]

Peace by Diane Leonard // unknown // autistic-fandom-trash // The Good Place // Keanu Reeves // unknown // If It's Not God - Maddie Zahm // The Village - Wrabel // Doctor Who - The Woman Who Fell To Earth // Peter Wever - Umarmung (Hug II) // unknown // Devil - Tyler Glenn // unknown // unknown // Najwa Zebian // Alok Vaid-Menon, Beyond The Gender Binary // Alok Vaid-Menon, Femme in Public

[icannotgetoverbirds]

buckle up, this one's a doozy

Idk if it's actually a doozy, but this is the story of how I deconverted from a cult and got my egg cracked at approximately the same time, all thanks to... weed.

Let's set the scene, shall we?

It is December 22nd, 2021. The pandemic has been raging for nearly two years at this point. I am, at this point, still a believing mormon. That said, my attendance to church meetings has been incredibly spotty, with the most reliable method to get me to worship being choir practice.

I am laying in my bed in the evening, and of all possible things, I am thinking about weed. Namely, the church's policy about weed, and the absolute failure that is the war on drugs, and my personal belief system (and also about whether or not I should try weed for my anxiety disorder).

What's mormonism's policy on weed, you ask? Well, it's surprisingly liberal for a whole-ass cult, but still has enough nonsense for the events of this story to play out. To put it simply, you can absolutely use weed for medicinal purposes, but recreational purposes is a big no-no.

This, of course, presents a dilemma: where do you draw the line between recreational and medicinal use, especially in the case of, say, using it to medicate an anxiety disorder? I'm sure that the Church-Approved™ conclusion is "That's between you and The Lord, figure it out yourself, good luck!" I don't remember if I came to that conclusion or not, but I know for a fact that my "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt before you make an important decision based off of Feelings Supposedly From God Or The Holy Spirit" ass would not have been satisfied with that answer.

So I think about it in terms of politics, and logic, and science. After all, science is just our frail and minuscule way of comprehending all that Our Father Who Art In Heaven has created, right? So if Our Father Who Art In Heaven can't give me a straight answer, science surely can.

I come to a few conclusions. First of all, there are very few people, if any, who are qualified to draw that line. I am not included in that group of people. Secondly, nobody in their right goddamned mind would so much as try to draw that line unless they have some serious qualifications in the variety of fields that it applies to. Third of all, and this is where shit starts to unravel very fucking quickly: who in the goddamned fuck are a bunch of old white men who've probably never seen a gram of weed in their entire lives to think themselves qualified to draw that line?

The shelf cracks. The prophets are fallible, even in this day and age. Not only are they fallible, but whoever made this decision is a FUCKING DUMBASS. God must be looking down at them and shaking his head disapprovingly, huh?

So I think to myself, yknow what, this is a stupid fucking rule. And my autistic-disregard-for-stupid-fucking-rules-having-ass was not about to tolerate it. So what do I do? Metaphorically speaking, I chuck it out the window. Who cares? I'm gonna do weed for my anxiety, and if anybody tells me that I'm disobeying god, I can tell them that god doesn't fucking give a shit about weed if he's as kind and loving as the prophets say he is.

A moment passes.

Now wait just a goddamned second! If I'm chucking this rule out the window, isn't there something else I should re-examine? If I'm disregarding what the prophets have said for my own pleasure and recreation, isn't there something regarding the lives, livelihoods, and joie de vivre of countless other people, myself included, that I should be looking at?

Suddenly, the years of (pent-up and suppressed) sheer fucking indignation of the way queer people have been othered by the church hits me all at once, full fucking force. I am angry, angrier than I have ever been. Abso-fucking-lutely not. No. If the prophets are wrong about weed, then they're DEFINITELY wrong about queer people.

And in this moment, I make a decision. "Until the mormon leaders get their shit together, I'm out! I'm fucking done! I'm gonna go live it up and get blazed out of my gourd for shits and giggles, and maybe I'll try a tiny sip of beer, and by god I am going to transition-"

"HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"

[Plain text ID: Text in a large, bold, italicized red font that reads "HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"]

Shelf shattered, omelette made of my egg, life ruined for the better.

The next morning, I come out to my mom and sister. I still believe in god and mormonism and yadda yadda, I just think the leadership needs to get their heads out of their asses.

Not long after, I decide to finally check out exmormon spaces. Yknow, get the full experience.

I am bombarded with "HOLY FUCK IT'S A CULT. IT RUINED MY LIFE. IT RUINED YOUR LIFE. IT TORE MY FAMILY APART. IT'S NOT EVEN REAL. READ THE CES LETTER, CHECK MORMONISM AGAINST THE BITE MODEL. THINK FOR YOUR GODDAMNED SELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE."

I check the sources provided. Well, I'll be damned. They weren't kidding, that mormonism sure can cult started by a con man. At this point, I am now beyond the point of no return. There's no going back. I have seen the light. I want out forever, I want my records removed, mom pick me up I'm scared.

My family never looks at me the same way again :>

[francy-sketches]

hotd twitter is turning me into a reddit atheist istg

[two-crows]

more of these guyssss.. even if bps the supposed demon in this dynamic no matter what i feel like ricks gonna be more impish

[furbhii]

wait. we gotta do a poll about this.

[wellnoe]

footloose is a fun movie. its two major ideas are: 'dance is fun and an important means of human expression' and 'conservative christianity is a tool of bigots and fascists'

[idylls-of-the-divine-romance]

Me: Ooohhh yeah! Let's have a discussion on theology and philosophy.

Them: Everything went wrong after the Council of Nicea.

Me: I know longer trust your opinion on anything T-T

[chiefmuffinmuncher]

Chuckle fuck blocked me, but legit clip one of my tags and pretend that you understand my entire stance on religion. Never mind that you clipped it from a wider statement that said I was against abolishing religion. Just that the god stuff was too much.

We can't prove or disprove the existence of god, hence why we shouldn't present the existence of one as a fact. I understand that the existence of a god is ancillary to Jewish faith and observance, as well as other atheistic religions. However, there are religions aside from Christianity that do hinge on the belief in a god as the central tenant. The claim that a god exists is fundamentally unfalsifiable. The same with unicorns. The burden of proof is on the people making that claim, not the people disputing it.

Does that mean that all religions should be abolished? No, I just think that we should reform them, get rid of the genital mutilation of babies(if you want to be circumcised as an adult that's your choice, be you he, she, they or other), and make the focus less on faith in a god. If the religion already checks those boxes, then I don't think it necessarily needs reformed.

Religion that isn't based off of a patriarchal, anti empirical frame work is mostly fine, have your festivals, follow your arbitrary rules and celebrate your holidays. It's mostly just cultural practices at that point. I just think that the grounding feature in our world view should be empirical and focused on improving the lives of those around us.

[hauntingblue]

Yabushige count your fucking days. I am so mad

[whysamwhy123]

Hoo boy, I am still inexplicably trying to make this dumb, trashy Ricky/Christian thing happen, even though no one wants it, no one will read it and I am not equipped to handle it. But...it's fuuuuuuuuun. Even though I'm sure it sucks. I haven't written the smut because LOL, I never do. Maybe I'll try and circle back to it or maybe I'll just do my usual fade to black. But even so...there's some real self-indulgent, gratuitous stuff here so far, despite the lack of actual smut. Who is this for exactly? Other than me? Why am I doing this?

*chants while glaring at myself in the mirror* SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.

[rumor-weed]

i’m sorry VOTER FRAUD?

IN MY VEGGIETALES?

it’s more likely than you’d think...

[eebie]

we are deconstructing gender on Google docs tonight boys

[betty-bourgeoisie]

For those who were following last nights conversation, the search term I was actually looking for was "Christian Zionism". I don't know why that had to be so hard.

[rollercoasterwords]

im curious if you grew up religious? as someone who grew up in a religious environment but left asap, i thought the way you incorporated religious themes into Nothing Fades Like The Light was super interesting & i love a good blasphemy moment <3

hahahaha yeahhhhh u caught me 🤠 not that it's anything i've tried to hide i was raised in a very conservative religious environment and my parents remain very religious to this day so! lots of good old fashioned ~religious trauma~ that seeps into most of my work. i have also just spent a good bit of time studying the bible and especially the old testament in a secular context like. i remain quite fascinated by the themes and stories i was raised with but i also. hate god. <3

also thank u so happy 2 encounter a fellow blasphemy enjoyer <3 <3 <3