#deconvert

[sinful-skeptic]

Another fine case of “practice what you preach.” It’s not the woman’s fault that you lack self control.

[divine-confus1on]

Why does every apostate/ex-religious person I find who makes great content about it that I really agree with and understand end up being a terf like stop pretending you care about people's personal freedom if you can't just let people outwardly present themselves how they want to without lecturing them about the endocrine system as if you're a total expert on it

Tldr: this account isn't safe for terfs

[eremosjournal]

How to Build an Extreme Catholic, an anonymous contribution

[icannotgetoverbirds]

buckle up, this one's a doozy

Idk if it's actually a doozy, but this is the story of how I deconverted from a cult and got my egg cracked at approximately the same time, all thanks to... weed.

Let's set the scene, shall we?

It is December 22nd, 2021. The pandemic has been raging for nearly two years at this point. I am, at this point, still a believing mormon. That said, my attendance to church meetings has been incredibly spotty, with the most reliable method to get me to worship being choir practice.

I am laying in my bed in the evening, and of all possible things, I am thinking about weed. Namely, the church's policy about weed, and the absolute failure that is the war on drugs, and my personal belief system (and also about whether or not I should try weed for my anxiety disorder).

What's mormonism's policy on weed, you ask? Well, it's surprisingly liberal for a whole-ass cult, but still has enough nonsense for the events of this story to play out. To put it simply, you can absolutely use weed for medicinal purposes, but recreational purposes is a big no-no.

This, of course, presents a dilemma: where do you draw the line between recreational and medicinal use, especially in the case of, say, using it to medicate an anxiety disorder? I'm sure that the Church-Approved™ conclusion is "That's between you and The Lord, figure it out yourself, good luck!" I don't remember if I came to that conclusion or not, but I know for a fact that my "prove beyond a shadow of a doubt before you make an important decision based off of Feelings Supposedly From God Or The Holy Spirit" ass would not have been satisfied with that answer.

So I think about it in terms of politics, and logic, and science. After all, science is just our frail and minuscule way of comprehending all that Our Father Who Art In Heaven has created, right? So if Our Father Who Art In Heaven can't give me a straight answer, science surely can.

I come to a few conclusions. First of all, there are very few people, if any, who are qualified to draw that line. I am not included in that group of people. Secondly, nobody in their right goddamned mind would so much as try to draw that line unless they have some serious qualifications in the variety of fields that it applies to. Third of all, and this is where shit starts to unravel very fucking quickly: who in the goddamned fuck are a bunch of old white men who've probably never seen a gram of weed in their entire lives to think themselves qualified to draw that line?

The shelf cracks. The prophets are fallible, even in this day and age. Not only are they fallible, but whoever made this decision is a FUCKING DUMBASS. God must be looking down at them and shaking his head disapprovingly, huh?

So I think to myself, yknow what, this is a stupid fucking rule. And my autistic-disregard-for-stupid-fucking-rules-having-ass was not about to tolerate it. So what do I do? Metaphorically speaking, I chuck it out the window. Who cares? I'm gonna do weed for my anxiety, and if anybody tells me that I'm disobeying god, I can tell them that god doesn't fucking give a shit about weed if he's as kind and loving as the prophets say he is.

A moment passes.

Now wait just a goddamned second! If I'm chucking this rule out the window, isn't there something else I should re-examine? If I'm disregarding what the prophets have said for my own pleasure and recreation, isn't there something regarding the lives, livelihoods, and joie de vivre of countless other people, myself included, that I should be looking at?

Suddenly, the years of (pent-up and suppressed) sheer fucking indignation of the way queer people have been othered by the church hits me all at once, full fucking force. I am angry, angrier than I have ever been. Abso-fucking-lutely not. No. If the prophets are wrong about weed, then they're DEFINITELY wrong about queer people.

And in this moment, I make a decision. "Until the mormon leaders get their shit together, I'm out! I'm fucking done! I'm gonna go live it up and get blazed out of my gourd for shits and giggles, and maybe I'll try a tiny sip of beer, and by god I am going to transition-"

"HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"

[Plain text ID: Text in a large, bold, italicized red font that reads "HEY WAIT JUST A GODDAMNED SECOND"]

Shelf shattered, omelette made of my egg, life ruined for the better.

The next morning, I come out to my mom and sister. I still believe in god and mormonism and yadda yadda, I just think the leadership needs to get their heads out of their asses.

Not long after, I decide to finally check out exmormon spaces. Yknow, get the full experience.

I am bombarded with "HOLY FUCK IT'S A CULT. IT RUINED MY LIFE. IT RUINED YOUR LIFE. IT TORE MY FAMILY APART. IT'S NOT EVEN REAL. READ THE CES LETTER, CHECK MORMONISM AGAINST THE BITE MODEL. THINK FOR YOUR GODDAMNED SELF FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE."

I check the sources provided. Well, I'll be damned. They weren't kidding, that mormonism sure can cult started by a con man. At this point, I am now beyond the point of no return. There's no going back. I have seen the light. I want out forever, I want my records removed, mom pick me up I'm scared.

My family never looks at me the same way again :>

[recovering-catholic]

Fuck being a "Proverbs 31 Woman". I wanna be a "Proverbs 7 Woman".

[ihavea-tummyache]

Poem #1:

[phoenix-reburned]

Honestly I wish I had been able to stay ignorant and remain in the faith sometimes. Thinking about existence, purpose, where it all came from, and my lost loved ones would all be so much easier if I had just stayed quiet and shushed the skeptic in my head. But I know I would have never truly been happy like that. It's a strange feeling, missing ignorance.

[hulahoopsoupgroup]

most of the time, im angry at my parents for raising me in such a toxic environment and using religion as a weapon to (emotionally, spiritually) beat me into submission. they made me absolutely terrified of not being good enough, of going to hell just because god wants me to. my dad told me that god probably sends christians to hell because theyre not perfect, and just for fun.

sometimes, though, i feel bad for them. my mother has no coping mechanisms other than saying "this is gods will. i cant do anything." when her mom, my grandmother, died, she just broke. the life in her eyes died, and she just hung onto this idea of "god will give me joy" even though she cried every single day after work.

my father is 57. he's still constantly afraid of going to hell. my mother has told him that he should just trust in christs sacrifice on the cross and that he should stop worrying, but he still worries that hes not good enough, and that he will go to hell because hes not perfect, because of the way god made him. the ghosts of his childhood still haunt him over half a century later. i have a feeling his dad was a little abusive in some way. the way he talks about him is just, i dont know, odd. he talks about how strict he was, how he would yell at him and his brother, and how they constantly got into arguments, but he never says the same about his mother. i also have a feeling that his fathers tactics worked, and he kind of crumbled under that pressure and became the person he is today.

and thats one of the many tragedies of religion. the two main paths are either conform and be this abusive but fearful human being, or leave and be ostracized from your community. and theres that dichotomy of anger and pity for that latter option. im so angry at fundamentalists, but i pity them because theyve chosen to crumble under the pressure of the abusive environment they were raised in. its a lot more complex when you look into it

[letsdeconstructreligion]

A little introduction

Hello! My name is Jenn (formerly alias Jay). Welcome to my page!

A little about me:

She/her

26

Queer

Atheist

Former missionary and evangelical Christian

Home schooled

Pro-Palestine

Safe space for all!

Please refrain from proselytizing on my page. You will be promptly removed.

Updated May 2024

[wisteria-grows-here]

My bingo

[jesusinstilettos]

If we have social safety nets for people then churches can’t manipulate people into their special club by exploiting their physical/financial/social/emotional needs (if they deem them morally worthy of help by their standards). And republicans can’t funnel money upward to a select few while getting the ego boost of an occasional charitable donation that ultimately is just a band aid to the issue and doesn’t actually make any long term or meaningful change.

[bonkmeonce]

has anyone in the exchristian community studied the heidelberg catechism in depth? it is so disturbing to me that i've looped back around to fascination. i may write some essays about it, so i am trying to understand it as much as i can. there is so so so much to unpack and it's honestly overwhelming.

any perspectives other than my own about this would be much appreciated!

[eremosjournal]

Day 11 of The Twelve Days of Shit I Heard at Church. 

An Anonymous Submission

[baneshake]

VeggieTales got SOULLESS!

[phoenix-reburned]

I just realized that the culty way my parents raised me even included the csa of an organized cult. How thoughtful of them...

[jesusinstilettos]

Or if you were raised Christian womp womp “Are you making an IDOL out of (insert anything that brings any happiness to your life here)?!”