#SmallTalk

[rannystu]

all talk / small talk

[kkarmalade]

"Creative coding" isn't a misnomer it's a postnomer. Computers are a meta medium so it's not, "being creative with code" it's, "being creative about what code could be."

Also fuck code. Sketchpad and video games demonstrate, "programming using kinetics." We could be dancing

[small-basic-programming]

Post #176: Opinion poll by Small Basic Programming on Tumblr, Question: Which object-oriented programming language do you prefer to program with?, 2023.

[chacusha]

I have once again failed to Tumblr this week but in my defense this is because I've been at a conference.

Because of that, I have been reminded of the odd fact that you just sort of... pick up the skill of conversation (which includes talking to strangers) over the course of your life without really realizing you're learning that skill/getting better at it.

Like, until my mid/late 20s, I often felt I was unusually bad at making conversation and would actually notice specific people who I felt were easy to talk to, because I would be ABLE to have a decently long conversation with them without the conversation dying. And that was the default/normal state for my conversations, even with friends -- running out of things to say. (Like I remember a joke one of my friends during this period would tell: "How do you tell the extroverts among engineers (/insert other nerdy subculture over here)? They look at OTHER people's shoes instead of their own." And that felt. so real to me.)

Now, in my 30s, I can just talk to a random stranger I meet and keep the conversation going for an hour or more. I can pick up with a friend I haven't seen for a while and talk for hours without feeling like I'm anywhere close to running out of things to say. I very rarely leave parties or social gatherings feeling like I didn't say or talk enough or contribute to the conversation, and when I do, it's usually because something went wrong, like I was distracted by something going on outside of the party.

I feel it's the same way with dexterity and reflexes too -- it used to be the case if someone tossed something at me without warning, 9 times out of 10 I would not catch it. It's reversed now. I'm also much better at tossing things to people without it going too short or too long, catching things before they roll off a table, and so on.

I don't know, I just kind of wish someone told me when I was a kid that these things get way easier without you even needing to actively practice or learn -- it's just a function of sheer life experience, and by the time you're in your 30s, you're pretty good at this thing, actually.

(And then the irony is that, while it's easier and easier to make conversation, it's simultaneously harder to make close friends. I think being able to make friendly conversation is the first step to being able to make friends (and when I was younger, the hardest step) but it's only the first step. There's a lot of work that needs to go into making friends on top of that skill.)

[whitelightwildflowers]

tour flyer i made for my friends in smalltalk <3

go see them if they’re coming through!

[jazzeria]

His idea of smalltalk at family dinner, my partner's father asked if I knew about the mating habits of bees.

I feigned innocence.

"I hear it has something to do with birds?"

[warrior-scribe]

My usual barber was closed so I went to a different place. Sitting in the chair and the barber's doing the usual chit chat, asks me what I do for a living. I give him the short version and he says, "Wow, that's cool!" Then there's a silence that needs filling. So I say, "How about yourself?"

"Errr... I'm a barber."

I fucking hate small talk.

[wolfgangboystuff]

#communicate fresh 2025

[kkarmalade]

As I was saying.

I only listen to the highest quality Gothic-Industrial.

Suck it.

[jdp]

Alan Kay builds an animation frame editor in a few seconds using the built-in capabilities of a Smalltalk system. It exemplifies his vision for personal computing, where people can make tools for themselves on the fly based on what they need in the moment.

[paradoxcase]

Ok, but, honest question, how on earth do people tell "if they like the variation of the scripted answers" when they are all scripted, or at least very vague or general since you don't know each other well? And yeah, I know the answer is just going to be something very NT like "yeah I just magically sense your aura and decide if I like it or not". Not only has engaging in smalltalk never made something like me particularly, but I've also never become remotely interested in someone else due to engaging in smalltalk. It just does not contain enough information to find out anything of interest or use about another person.

I know this is the Anti Small Talk Website but small talk is one of the most effective social glues out there for getting to know people and forming friendships with them.

When I was just starting out at a job right after college I had a coworker who I thought was the nicest person alive and after a few weeks I realized this was just because she consistently asked other people things like, "How ya doing? Whatcha having for lunch? Got any weekend plans? Seen any good movies lately?" instead of politely ignoring everyone around her.

[coolmoviemanmike]

I just watched Small Talk (1929)

[rebel-threads]

Silence is golden, and this tee is your megaphone. "Yes, I Heard You. No, I Don’t Care" because you've heard enough. It's comfy, it's bold, and it's perfect for when you can't stand another meaningless chat. Who’s ready to shut down the chatter and wear their truth loud and proud? . Share if you agree! 🛒 Shop Now

[thediaryofalmosteverything]

Things I Don’t Talk About at Parties

(But Might Write an Entire Blog Post About)There are people who thrive at parties. Who love the buzz, the hugs, the effortlessly cheerful small talk, and the “You have to meet my friend from yoga”-type introductions. I am not one of those people. Unless, of course, I feel entirely at home with the people in the room — people who don’t blink when I say something weird, who don’t weaponize…

[eulers-entity]

As an autistic person, I appreciate the points stated here, yet i also want to add:

For many autisic people, me included - and I primarily speak from my own perspective now, as I can't speak for others:

It is often very difficult for me to focus on the "relevant details", to know which detail I want to add might be socially appropriate, to follow the common thread in small talk. I get very easily distracted and overwhelmed, ecpecially if more than one other person is involved in the interaction.

While I agree that smalltalk can help to give - especially neurotypical - people feelings of safety and connection and that it is a helpful factor in building relationships and comfortable environments, I myself barely am able to achieve this, as my brain cannot compute that much information in fractions of seconds for multiple minutes on end. I cannot do it in an intuitive manner. It stresses me out very much that my language processing is deteriorated while I attempt to communicate. I also have difficulties understanding other people's words when there is very much uncertainty in the social setting and/or if a lot of noise or other distracting environmental factors are present.

Smalltalk is zero intuitive for me. And doing smalltalk is costing my brain more processing power than giving a talk on whatever topic.

Talking with people, dialogue, includes a lot of spontaneity in communication, whilst a talk, monologue, does not.

I do not want to shit-talk OP's statements as I also consider listing the advantages and healthy aspects of smalltalk to be important to consider, yet I also wanted to broaden the perspective upon that and give an insight about my autistic difficulties with that.

Summarized: In theory I agree with OP , but in practice there are a lot of obstacles to establish this effect in smalltalk as autistic person.

I'm trying to figure out a good way to say "you really should actually learn the basics of small talk" with sounding like I'm biased against autistic people.