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k4vehrtz · 7 months

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WHORETICULTURE. various jjk men / sub gn. reader

synopsis. filled with lust for some fucking guy.

who. nanami kento / satoru gojo / toji fushiguro / heian era! sukuna . ✦ . what. one night stand / unprotected sex / mild religious themes/ thigh riding / slut shaming / against a wall / mean dom (or just brat)! satoru / exes with benefits / exhibition / recreational drug use + alcohol consumption ergo dubious consent / oral (r giving) / body betrayal / brat! reader / implied cnc kink + masochism / domination loss / mild degradation + nipple play / double penetration

notes. terms are kept general thus gender neutral reader but it’s entirely up to your interpretation. a mini compilation of thirsts i had while attempting to fight writer’s block and an unforgiving schedule.

⸻ ## I KNEW IT WHEN I. . .

MET HIM !

[ NANAMI KENTO ]

nanami kento was the embodiment of the traditional man in every sense. he was a businessman — clad in a white button–down, black slacks, and a matching tie hanging around his collar. five days a week, monday to friday, nine a.m. to five p.m. a true provider.

that much you can assume from observation alone. he’s not like the usual crowd; the man stands out. so, it’s only natural that you become curious.

“i’m not above sex before marriage,” and when he speaks, he takes his time to carefully enunciate each word with practised precision. something you didn’t know you were attracted to until now, straddling his thighs.

“somethin’ tells me you’re not just a—” he presses a finger to your lips, interjecting, “if you’re suspicious of me we can always stop,” and you quiet down, rocking your hips back and forth as you feel his erection grow beneath your crotch.

the backseat of his car is a tight fit but it makes it all the more intimate. remnants of nicotine on his breath waft across your face, warming your skin.

“the windows are tinted,” he murmurs, tracing the outline of your lips with his thumb, “it’s as private as it’s going to get,” before inserting the aforementioned finger into your mouth.

you smile to the best of your ability, wet muscle swirling around the salty digit as you maintain your grinding. slow and steady, purposeful movements that prompt just the right amount of friction between the two of you.

“isn’t this—” nanami interjects once more (you can barely get a word out), by way of pressing his thumb against your tongue thus causing a copious amount of saliva to cascade down your face. it’s wet and messy and done entirely for his own amusement. “we’re not celibate.”

[ SATORU GOJO ]

“do you—” he pauses mid–sentence, startling blue eyes fixated on his cock sliding in and out of your puffy entrance before continuing, “usually sleep with the stranger that saves you from a creep at the club or am i special?”

if you could’ve, you would’ve rolled your eyes. he’s talkative — too talkative but you find yourself enjoying the sound of his voice anyway. your hole quivers and tightens, gripping him like a vice at the implication that hangs between the two of you.

“i’m not easy ‘toru,” you protest in a weak attempt to sound firm though it leaves your parted lips as a breathy whine instead. and satoru smiles at that, chest rising and falling rapidly as he laughs.

“when did i say you were easy, stupid?” he asks, feigning innocence as he tilts his head to one side, bringing one hand up to your face to pat your cheek.

the action being somewhat degrading in its own sense. but ‘toru — satoru — was just like that. saying one thing and meaning or doing another. you couldn’t wrap your head around him.

and he revels in the fact, his smile continuing to grow; the type that meets his eyes and makes them crinkle ever so slightly.

“you wound me,” he tsks, bringing his lips closer to your ear as your body jolts upwards against the wall in sync with his cock bullying your hole, “all i meant by it was that we just met and look where we are now.”

‘it’s the same thing’ you think, but that’s all it is — a thought. when your lips part, you only vocalize a string of moans. satoru was a labyrinth and you were lost in him — or rather the pleasure he provides.

“bet you’re already justifying this in your head.”

⸻ ## I LOVED HIM WHEN I. . .

LEFT HIM !

[ TOJI FUSHIGURO ]

“what —” he lifts the shot glass to his parted lips, “are you thinkin’ about?” before swallowing a mouthful of cheap liquor, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he does so.

it’s a good question; one you don’t know the answer to, but a good question all the same. you’re thinking about everything and anything while simultaneously not thinking at all — a blunt dangling haphazardly between your lips.

“you want to know what i’m thinkin’ about?” so you answer his question with a question like a smart ass instead, leaning in until you’re nose–to–nose with the man you swore you’d never see again. and he doesn’t hesitate, a half–smile playing on his lips as they ghost yours. they’re warm, lighting a fire beneath the surface of your skin in its wake.

“no, i don’t want to know,” he sing–songs in response, catching you somewhat off guard. what blindsided you though was him lowering the waistband of both his grey sweatpants and his boxers. his cock, exposed to the cool air of the alleyway, standing at full mast—a vein running from the base to the tip.

suddenly your mouth feels dry and your knees feel the slightest bit weaker. it’s muscle memory — or its evil cousin that encourages your body to betray you.

you’re sinking to your knees, blunt discarded somewhere on the concrete (for god’s sake, you don’t care). your lips part, cheeks hollowed and throat relaxed. quiet anticipation coursing through your veins as you feel the weight of his cock in your palms.

“you know what to do,” he rumbles from above you, picking at the beds of his nails. and he’s right, you do know what to do; how he likes it.

you take him into your mouth, dragging your tongue along the outline of his piercing some ways below the head of his cock. and toji lets out a satisfied groan. once, twice, and then a third time before you focus on taking his full length into your mouth inch by inch until he’s hit the back of your throat.

from there, you move your mouth along his length, tracing every inch of it with your tongue — imprinting its shape in your mind all over again. it’s more like refreshing an old memory rather than creating a new one.

“knew you’d—” he clenches his jaw, cock throbbing in your mouth as saliva mixed with his pre–cum slips past your lips stretched to capacity around him, “come back t’me.”

[ HEIAN ERA! SUKUNA ]

“i’m—” your breath hitches, catching in your throat in sync with the rise of your shoulders, “many things my lord, but sorry isn’t one of them,” as your hips stutter.

momentarily. one hundred and twenty seconds.

it takes sukuna less than thirty seconds to capitalize on your fault. two hands wrap around your hips, nails pressed into the tender skin forming crescent-shaped indents. you’re forced to move to his rhythm now; cruel and unforgiving.

“should’ve focused on what’s important little one,” he clicks his tongue in feigned disappointment. he’s far from disappointed though, his cocks — both of them — buried to the hilt throb inside of you. and an onslaught of tears blur your vision; your mind is clouded by a myriad of sensations.

you’re somewhere between excruciating pain and unbelievable feats of pleasure.

“this isn’t—” you try, albeit with great difficulty as your words come in between gasps. but sukuna interjects, the corners of his lips curling upwards: “fair? stupid, this game of ours was never meant to be but you know that already.”

two more hands make contact with your skin after that exchange; two fingers on one hand pinching your nipple whereas the other holds your face in place so that you maintain eye contact with him.

and sukuna rolls his eyes as soon as your gazes meet though it’s a somewhat playful gesture. something most would find difficult to picture. but not you — never you.

“stop pretending to be a damsel in distress i’m not a—” he pauses mid–sentence, smile growing as he thrusts his hips, “well, i’m not that kind of monster,” the sound of his skin colliding with yours echoing throughout the room.

you whimper, staring at him through half–lidded eyes and a curtain of lashes wet with unshed tears: “i like what i like.”

#x male reader smut #x bottom male reader #nanami x male reader #toji x male reader #gojo x male reader #sukuna x male reader #jjk smut #jjk x male reader #x sub male reader #jjk x y/n #gojo smut #gojo x you #toji x you #nanami x you #sukuna x you

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thatbadadvice · 3 months

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I (15f) am slightly worried that I led on some guys I did not mean to lead on.

There are two guys that I've hung out with over longer spans of time or regularly.

1. Hung out with him for several hours non-stop cause he was fun to hang out with, and we took a walk in the forest aswell, he got (slightly) touchy but not that much.

2. Works in a shop in my small city and I go there almost weekly just to hang out but always buy something, he sometimes offers me drinks for free (twice by now) or reduces the price.

They both got my insta too

However, the problem is that a) I'm not looking for a relationship and, more importantly, b) they are both in their 20s.

I took care to mention that I am only 15 to both of them but idk if that changed anything. Any advice? I also don't want to confront them directly cause I might have just interpreted it like this.

Hello, anonymous!

Thank you for writing in. I am delighted to inform you that you have excellent judgment for wondering what the hell is going on here, and for questioning these guys' behavior toward you.

Grown-ass men — and that is what dudes in their 20s are — bear the burden of not being weird to, for, or about young women of your age. It is the grown-ass men of the world who are obligated not to make you, or young women like you, feel weird about literally anything. In fact, grown-ass men should go out of their way, on purpose and with gusto, NEVER to get even within ten million football fields' worth of "(slightly) touchy" with a gal of your age. So that's my read on Mr. Walk In The Woods. I have less to say definitively about Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks, but I trust your judgment: if you feel like Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks is sending some ~ signals ~, you're right about it.

It sounds like both of these Grown-Ass Men are trying to make pretty creepo moves, so let me be clear: nothing you could ever do could even possibly in the most remote sense amount to "leading them on," because you are not responsible for the behavior of Grown-Ass Men.

I think you know this, or you wouldn't be asking the Bad Advisor this question. You know they're being weird. You know you haven't done anything beyond exist in these dudes' general sphere, which you are entitled to do! You are allowed to exist in the world without having to swat off the advances of older guys! It really sucks that girls and women can just be living our regular-ass lives and have dudes be at us like this. But you're not responsible for their decisions — whether it's a decision to offer you free/cheap drinks (with strings attached, implied) or to get (slightly) handsy during a walk in the woods.

The fact that you told both of these Grown-Ass Men explicitly that you are 15 years old should have sent both of them spinning back into the sun with shame and embarrassment, not that they probably needed it spelled out, but GOOD ON YOU for making it so clear. That is actually terribly brave of you, and they should have fallen all over themselves to not fall all over you subsequently. They should be mortified about their behavior.

You did not misinterpret their actions; and if you did, who cares? Some dudes who weren't hitting on a 15-year-old will continue to not hit on a 15-year-old? Girl, your self-preservation instinct is INTACT and WORKING. It's on them not to be creepos. Any Grown-Ass Man who is on the level and not a weirdo would 1000000000000% never need to be told "Hey dude, I'm 15" in the first place. You have good judgment. You are reading these men correctly.

So what do you do about your good judgment? Well, first — no more walks in the woods. Suddenly you have an urgent appointment that precludes all walks in woods! The benefit-of-the-doubt ship has sailed. Dude got handsy and you dislike it. Dunzo. You are unavailable for future walks in woods (or anywhere). You've got a test to study for, a practice to go to, some buddies to hang out with elsewhere. So sorry, no-can. Dude can find a 20-to-90-something-year-old woman to paw up under the canopy if that's his jam. There are scores of women his age and older who'd be glad (i guess?) to get felt up while some dude shoves them ~ romantically ~ against the bark of a moldy Hackberry.

As for Mr. Free/Cheap Drinks — look, I appreciate the appeal of a discount beverage — but I think you gotta be prepared to aggressively (politely) pay for your drinks. Dude says "This one is on the house" and you DGAF, because you've got $5 cash and you're laying it on the counter with a smile and saying "I really appreciate it, but I'd like to pay for my drink — you get it!"

It's the "you get it!" that's really the key here. It's polite, but clear. It demands that these Grown-Ass Dudes do the work of not getting it and saying so if they're gonna be that dippy about it. You can use it on Mr. Handsy In The Woods, too. You can't do X, Y, Z because Reasons -- "Gotta get back to piano practice, it would be weird if I stayed here, since we're just friends! You get it!"

You shouldn't have to do the work of offering these dippos the "you get it" out, but it's a safe and reliable way of making it clear that they better the fuck get it. Like, they better the fuck understand that you are 15 and they are being weird about this whole deal.

Practice:

"Oh, I'd like to chill but doing another big long hang alone together would make it seem like we're going out or something, and that would be weird -- you get it."

"I appreciate the discount, but if I keep taking these drinks, it'll seem like you LIKE me or something. That's weird, right? You get it!"

If either of these Grown-Ass Men gets sketchy about these very polite brush-offs, that shit is on them and will only confirm what you know: you have great judgment. These dudes are weird. If they're going to be weird, you can be so polite that they have to explain why, specifically, they are being weird and don't understand what you are politely saying, which is that their interest in you is weird.

You have not led these Grown-Ass Men on by existing in their universe. You have not led them on by being polite to them and tolerating their inappropriate advances to preserve your own safety. The concept of "leading on" is bullshit, fucked up, heteronormative dipshittery that puts the burden on women, mostly, to account for the crappy behavior of men who can, do, and should know better. I assure you these men know better, and they think you don't. That's why older guys pursue younger and teen women in the first place — they think they get to be the big men in charge, because they're afraid they can't manipulate women their own age.

Here's what, though: they can't manipulate you, either. You are clever, self-possessed and a great self-advocate. They're being weird. You're being smart. Make sure they know it.

#advice #good advice interlude #older guys #creeps #creepos #this fucking guy

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bettyshoweduptotheparty · 11 months

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Midnights is defined by duality: The story of an unreliable narrator and performance art (Part 1)

One year on, I think I've finally figured out what midnights is about. And it might surprise you.

The midnights album has just celebrated its first anniversary. And having listened to these songs for the last 12 months, staying up late to watch live streams of the Eras tour, and at times being unable to escape news about Taylor on every medium, I finally have an idea that makes all of this make sense: This is Taylor's duality era. And she wants us to notice. Join me on the ride if you want to know more :)

I made a post a few weeks ago about how the Midnights aesthetic has the ‘two Taylors’ duology: Private vs public, which is the lead theme that carries over into the music and most recently also into her public image. Midnights had a mismatched visual to it from the very beginning with the depressed 70s look (announcement photo and vinyl covers) and the glamourous midnight blue (cover image and public appearances).

The two Taylors in the Anti Hero mv really drove home the message for me that this album is about two versions of the same story, and Taylor is the writer and narrator. And while I'm sure that these two versions have existed for a lot longer than the midnights era, they have not previously been so prominently next to each other. In fact, the very point of having the public narrative, is to keep Taylor's private life out of the public eye. She has never shied away from providing the 'stories' that her fans want to see in order to relate to her music, and as the girl that made her fame with songs about heartbreak and fairytale princes, that usually meant being seen with a man that these songs could be attributed to. And she made sure people would make the connection, be it with scarves that change ownership, or foxes on shirts:

(Btw you can't deny how effective this was, with just a few photos she managed to hang an entire album on each of these men!)

So, acting is not new to Taylor. In addition to appearing in a few feature films and TV shows since 2010, she's done this public performance for well over a decade now. And she has been vocal in recent years about her intention to go into filmmaking, so we know she's able to tell stories in multiple ways. She's a storyteller first and foremost, maybe the best of our generation. But is she a reliable narrator?

What does 'unreliable narrator' mean?

A story told by a so-called unreliable narrator, is usually a first person narration, where it turns out that the person telling the story was either lying or in some other way unable to give a truthful account of events (e.g. hallucinating or dreaming). That usually means that the audience is left with having to interpret for themselves what really happened and what was real or not real. Famous examples of this kind of storytelling are the 2010 psycho thriller 'Black Swan' with Natalie Portman, or the YA novel 'We were liars' by E. Lockhart. If you like stories that leave you guessing, check those out ;)

So, why is Taylor an unreliable narrator? For those fans that have paid attention to her lyrics, it has long been evident that her songwriting and public narrative don't match up. The most obvious theme being her 17-year run of writing songs about secret relationships and hiding, while she was parading men around in public to be photographed with. But, as we know, most people ignore it because it's just easier than digging deeper into lyrics. But now with Midnights, I'm starting to think she wants people to notice the duality and start to question her narrative. The sheer number of songs on that album that have strong double meaning or draw attention to lying or distorting the truth is astonishing: Right out the gate with track 1 we have Lavender Haze, a pretty loud song about bearding using the very well established queer reference of lavender. (And maybe she leaned out of the window a little too far with that title, because we all know the gaylor uproar was so loud when the title was revealed, that she had to backpedal and hetsplain it.) Immediately followed by Maroon, the song that has probably singlehandedly turned the most swifties into gaylors since Bettygate of 2020... Then on to Anti Hero, the ultimate duality song that also makes mention of lying and scheming, same as Mastermind. High Infidelity and You're Losing Me join the ranks of songs that look like they are about romantic relationships on the surface, but could also be interpreted to be about Taylor's relationship with fame and her fans. High Infidelity is a play on words of the term High Fidelity or HIFI, which is a 90s sound technology that refers to truthful reproduction of sound. High INfidelity is therefore a genius way of referring to both cheating and unfaithful reproduction of sound, almost like someone who makes music that isn't quite truthful... We also know from Aaron Dessner that this song was written following the 2021 Grammys and in the light of the whole William Bowery grammygate situation... I think there is point to be made about this song drawing attention to lying in a big way.

The timing of the release of You're losing me right around the time that her breakup with Joe made the news also feeds the narrative of a breakup song. But in this very 'breakup song' she says You say, "I don't understand," and I say, "I know you don't" and talks about sending signals that fall on deaf ears. Doesn't that sound an awful lot like 'I gave so many signs'? What does she know the addressee won't understand? Is it that when she finally reveals all her lies 90% of her fans will be shocked to their very core? On the exclusive CD version that has this track on it, it also immediately follows Dear Reader which on the track list looks like this:

Dear Reader You're Losing me (Does that look like a message? I think it does...)

By the time we make it to Dear Reader, she's basically told us 'I'm a liar who hides behind fake lavender relationships who charms everyone like a sleezy congressman, I'm the narcissistic Anti Hero you can't trust who schemes like a criminal and plans out everything like the puppet master I am, just so you like me and therefore you shouldn't look up to me, but I know you still will.' If that doesn't scream 'I want you to question everything I say or do' I don't know what does. Which brings us to performance art.

What is performance art?

Performance art is any kind of visual art that involves a dramatic performance aspect. To explain how this relates to Taylor and who she may have taken inspiration from, I refer to the brilliant Kristina Parro on TikTok:

Ok, groundwork is laid, but this is getting too long. Part 2 will be relating this to upcoming music releases and media coverage but that will have to wait til tomorrow.

As always, thanks for humouring me guys!

#taylor swift #gaylor #eras tour #midnights album #one year of midnights #performance art #unreliable narrator

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jacksprostate · 8 months

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With every passing day I'm less convinced of the narrator's feelings about Marla being in any way romantic lol. Obvious disclaimer this is one of many interpretations that can be done of the book, if you like to interpret it that way good for you, I support all interpretations with textual evidence and there's obviously some that way — but anyway, like.

He has no joy about it lmao there is no happy delight.... You expect me to believe you are in love with her when your thought process is essentially "Tyler loves Marla which. I guess means I do? And well, I guess I don't want her to die in my bullshit. I like you enough to not want you to die because when Tyler abandoned both of us I stopped viewing you as as much of a threat to my rabid bond with Tyler"

Like. I do think he cares for Marla. Likes her. But I do not think he Likes her.

And to me it is interesting and depressing. Tyler is his power fantasy. This fantasy where he can access the power of being a man attracted to women — well, if his brain can manage to fuck women while deeply delusional, maybe he can manage it! It legitimately reads kind of like he thinks he's been cured of something. And there's so much reason for him to feel that way — most especially, we're treated to an in depth look at how deeply shameful he feels about things that in any way tie him to homosexuality. He has such a complex about AIDS, he covers a birthmark on his foot just in case seeing it would mean someone thinks he's gay and dying. Maybe it's my own experiences letting me read more into it but he is so deeply repressed it's sad man. Even your power fantasy can't escape it. But also, that in itself makes sense, too. Being attracted to women puts him on top of the hierarchy, frees him from subjugation and the deep literal closet he's in as a gay man. It's not exactly the same as being attracted to men as a woman, which, while resulting in avoiding homophobia, puts you at direct risk for misogynistic intrapersonal violence lol. So. Tyler is free, and he is not. Tyler does not have to worry about dying in people's eyes.

Anyway you have all that, you have the intense homoeroticism of fight club in general (elaborate rituals, etc), literally everything about how he talks about Tyler, and you have the fact that just like. Honestly!!!! Where is the joy!!! Obviously it is extenuating circumstances because of the whole deal but his narration distinctly sounds like someone who just like. Oh yeah that's my good friend... Marla... yeah I guess I like her. We hang out and she helped me shoot myself

I do think post canon they end up having some sort of weird sad sex thing but that shit is not working longterm. Plenty of people have said it before and better but both of them want Tyler instead. Which in itself is an interesting dynamic.

Depending on how much autonomy and personhood you allot Tyler, too, it's interesting. In the narrator's eyes, everything for Tyler ties back to Marla. The one thing he has that the narrator simply can't. In the narrator's eyes, he outright states Tyler formed to do what he couldn't (engage with her romantically). Of course you can interpret that as him being inhibited in some other way, but... idk man.

#fight club

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pixelnrd · 8 months

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obvously river ultimately made his own choices, but april put a lot of pressure on him to conform and join her dad's company and be someone he ultimately wasn't for her own gain (which wasn't necessarily NEGATIVE gain, their family needed to be provided for but still). Now it feels like instead of having learned her lesson from her own road with unhappiness from conforming she's just...doing the same thing to Dustin?? Instead of trying to figure out why he's so unhappy she's just trying to push him to do things because he's interrupting her time with the woman she left his dad for??? at least that's how it feels, idk i'm annoyed with her lol.

I can understnad this interpretation of April as being a bit... selfish? Hypocritical? She definitely is, and from the sentiments in comments about April on recent posts I get the feeling that others feel the same way about April (which is valid! not devaluing that at all).

BUT I want to counter this with a different interpretation (long post sorry!)

For all her faults, April isn't meant to be seen as unfeeling or callous. April is a product of her own upbringing and time period, and if anything she is a victim of changing societal norms in the 70s/80s with second wave feminism. Her parents gave her a great education and expected big things from her with college and a career - she became a doctor. But society also expected her to have the husband and the house and the babies. And she did all that, she played her life by the book as it was laid out to her - and ultimately found that cumulatively, over time in was a burden. It made her burnt out and unhappy. She was expected to uphold her own career, raise the kids, look after the house, have dinner on the table for them all. That's a huge burden to bear, and at a time when men weren't expected to pick up any of the slack to allow women to enter the workforce and become more than homemakers (and let's be real, plenty of men still don't do this in the 21st century). River in that sense did not make it any easier for April - he was playing his own role, one that didn't expect him to share that burden of homemaking and childreading beyond hanging out with the kids on the weekend and doing the odd handy job. He was blind to the burden that April was bearing.

April was also running in the rat race from college, to career, to wife, to mother. She didn't get time to stop and check in with herself on whether she was having a good time. In fact I don't think April could pinpoint when it started to go wrong either. It was the wearing down over time of a person who was expected to do it all and be everything for everyone.

I do feel like everyone comes out in defence for the heir (which, hey, is fair - its their story!). But I've tried to portray all my characters as having flaws and negative traits, making mistakes and not being perfect. River was far from perfect as a husband and Dad. He just slid right on into the breadwinner male role without question because in the era he lived in, that was what husbands did. He grew up in a non-traditional household and was always subconsciously rebelling against that. He grew up poor and got himself to college. He was given a career opportunity that would make him a lot of money and he genuinelly wanted that. He wanted to have material wealth to show for himself after having grown up with no electricity, eating home grown vegetables and wearing thrift clothes. Ultimately he didn't realise the cost of the lifestyle he sought, or why ultimately his parents rejected it - they were happier people, even though they had less.

It's not entirely April's fault that River went down a path that didn't make him happy. Being with April presented opportunities and a lifestyle that River bought into. But as time went on, and they had a house and kids, River became trapped in the cycle of upholding that lifestyle.

River and April were only 20 when they met. They got locked down too young thanks to societal expectations and familial pressures and ultimately they grew up during that marriage into different people. I think the beauty of their separation - even thought hurtful for all involved - was that they were finally able to explore who they really wanted to be.

That's not to say that they didn't learn their lessons. April tries to tolerate Dustin's apathy, but probably finds it hard considering the pressure her parents put on her, and the sacrifices she feels that she made to give him a great upbringing and feeling taken advantage of - after all, she was full time Mum and and a full time doctor.

When writing the character of April, I thought a lot about my own Mum and my Grandmothers and other Mums I have known in my lifetime. And I thought about how they all did double shift, coming home from their paid work to do the unpaid work of being a wife, Mum and homemaker. I wanted April to have her liberation from this system, so that was what I gave her.

I worry that April's character hasn't come across the way I intended, and that makes me feel like I haven't done her justice. If anything that's a lesson to myself in storytelling! But I hope this essay-like response can give others a different way of thinking about April 😊

#asks #answers #april jones

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9w1ft · 4 months

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i wanna be LSK but… //

I’m so sorry anon, but I personally find it really funny when people hear the songs where taylor is working through her feelings of being betrayed by Scott B and attribute them to karlie instead.

It’s like finding a man holding a gun standing over a dead body and saying, hang on a minute… what if the real murderer is the victim’s gf… because two of her friends liked a gossipy tweet written by a known shit-stirrer!

that is to say, we know for a fact that taylor felt deeply betrayed by scott b, seeing as he’s verifiably the actual person who sold her masters to scooter, after treating taylor like family since she was very young. it’s pretty self-evident he deserves the level of vitriol in the smallest man who ever lived (besides the other descriptive details that link him to tsmwel, mtr etc).

as for taylor and karlie suddenly never being seen together again (seemingly drifting apart a whole year before the heist even happened, remember?), well she hasn’t spoken on that, so naturally we read between the lines in the songs to find out. some people have taken the masters heist songs to be about karlie, and ran with that. but others see karlie and taylor’s retreat into privacy reflected in songs under the ‘love blackout’ theme (especially around here, you’re on a longtime kaylor blog 🙈)

love blackout = the hints taylor has put out again and again that she intentionally distanced her public image from karlie’s because it was too dangerous to carry on as openly as they had at first. 2016 election sadness themes, secret love themes, all consistent over the years. all while writing new love songs that use callbacks to the rep muse, to yail even 🥺. as if taylor’s been using all the confusion and her masterful quill of misdirection to achieve her priority of protecting karlie. not protecting karlie’s public image and clout with swifties, which she doesn’t need to maintain her success because she was always successful in her own right! no, it’s all for Karlie The Person in their secret bubble of reality. all this showmanship, you know. the great war, hello!!!! too many songs to name where the kaylor chandelier is safely out of sight, but you can still see flickers through the boarded up windows ❣️

so forgive me for having a chuckle. to any anons who sincerely🛸want to believe, I’m just throwing it out there that there are plenty of us that never found the karlie-betrayer theory convincing at all. if you take a closer look at everything, the timeline of events and all the songs since, does it really make sense? (especially when there are so many shitty men in the mix who are more obviously to blame lol)

~ if you post, thank you for facilitating this rant 9wing, I’ll get off my soapbox now xxx

yup yup

i think a lot of people are predisposed to blaming karlie and so everything becomes a sort of confirmation bias.. which partially, i would argue, was by design.. so in a sense i do not fault gaylors or others for falling into this hole. but i do sometimes feel like faulting them a tiny bit for those who never climb out of it. there’s plenty of information and clues needed to figure it out and climb out of it.

one thing i don’t like about the whole “let’s not talk about muses” discourse is while the spirit of it is supposed to be “let’s study why these songs sound gay instead of commenting taylor lyrics on these people’s instagram pages,” in practice the phrasing almost is like giving yourself permission to pass judgement on the people in taylor’s story and then never reevaluate them. people often say ~lets not talk muses that’s invasive and gross~ and conveniently refuse to adjust their perception of karlie (for example) based on what taylor is putting out there, while making convenient exceptions for any interpretation they find that works to reinforce their already negative perception of her. and then after bitching about her they’ll cover their timeline in lisa frank dolphins because apparently that’s what paradise is. i dunno. it all feels dystopian to me atp 😆

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toastofthetrashfire · 7 months

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Color in DFF Part 6: Episode 11

Parts 1 2 3 4 5

Okay the penultimate week! More color!

Shout out to @slayerkitty and our color discussions! And my phone-a-friend (you know who you are) for letting me pick your brain!

We start with Non in his pink/beige shirt. Now it's no longer just a lightened red but it's covered in dirt and grime making his color even more faded. The men around Non are all in black, clearly indicating dangerous intent and the way Non is being forced further into despair. Unlike the blues and grays of the "friend" group, these guys are completely devoid of color, showing how dangerous they are and how devoid of hope.

Despite this, Tee's uncle has a mix of white which aligns with Tee's white uniform as he pleads with his uncle to let Non live. White then represents salvation for Tee. It's his slim hope that he won't have to live with the implications of his actions for the rest of his life, that he can stop the worst from happening and right things. However, at the same time, the white sheets in the background hang like funeral sheaths, representing the false hope Uncle Deng offers Tee and foreshadowing death and the impossibility of a happy resolution.

Interestingly as Tee enters the room he stands in front of something green. This starts a trend in this episode of lots and lots of green. Now I pondered over this a bit. Because up until this point we've only had green in the following situations:

-Non's sweater (which I previously read as his attempt to be blue but failing, just as he fails to fit in)

-Por's shirts largely in the present (I interpreted this as his color)

-Jin when he tries to convince Non to stay on the film project (I saw this as Jin being in between the blue of the group and the yellow he wears when he pushes back)

-New in the previous episode (especially has he sinks deeper into his despair and revenge plan)

But in this episode we seem to have something going on related to Tee we need to unpack.

My immediate thought here was that green might be associated in Tee's case with freedom, because it is so prominent in the gaming cafe, which becomes Tee's path out of his uncle's orbit. However, the casino has it's own share of green too.

So this is puzzling right? Because up until now almost everything around Tee has been blue, red, and yellow. And now, just like with New in the previous episode, we switch from primary art colors (red, blue yellow) to primary light colors (red, blue green). Red, blue, and green. On top of this switch, we have both Tee's new and old spaces employing green.

So I went ahead and phoned a friend (texted but you get the drift). One thing they pointed out was that green might also be one of Non's colors. Instead of reading his jacket as an attempt on his part to be blue, they pointed out that this could be his color too. If we read his red as connected to his romantic relationships, green then is the color of his friendship. It makes for a mismatch with the group's blue, but not in the sense of him putting on an ill fitting costume, but rather in the sense that they have a fundamental mismatch in their colors. At times Non will wear blues and grays to fit with the group, but the others mostly seem to wear reds, pinks, and greens when they're draining him. I discussed in episode 7 how Por is suddenly in pink while Non wears a low battery shirt, signaling that Por is draining him and his color. Por later also wears green so perhaps it can be read in that light as well.

Back to the casino!

As soon as Non starts working on the casino floor he is in all black/dark blue, with the exception of his red bracelet. He is literally holding on by a thread to his color and to his life. So perhaps we can view the green of the casino as another representation of him being drained of that color.

The casino itself seems to be pretty divided, between the green space of the casino tables and the rest of the space that is primarily red, blue, and yellow. Non is largely shown in the green space where he is forced to work.

The exception is the space where he sleeps and dies (assuming he's really dead). In this space his shirt is clean of dirt, his red is able to shine through again. Perhaps this represents the hope he had before he died of getting out, or if he is still alive it could be a sign of that as well.

Either way, Non leaves the room in the same clothes he came in. This time his shirt is clean but he is being wrapped in a black body bag.

For Tee's part, he initially moves around the casino almost exclusively sticking to the spaces that are in red, blue, and yellow. Despite helping Non by begging his uncle, he doesn't fully start making a change right away.

Until he steps in to help Non at the casino. In that moment Tee moves into the green area of the casino. It's after this scene and his conversation with Perth's character that he starts to work at the gaming cafe. He becomes willing to enter Non's color scheme perhaps for the first time. So while the casino is a draining space for Non, that green becomes Tee's first step towards changing as a person and empathizing with someone.

This addition of green to Tee's color is important visually because he already has been mixing red into his wardrobe. Rather I think the red Tee wears signals two things, poverty and mental illness (or rather the mental illness of his father), two things he shares with Non, showing their similarities, similarities he was ignorant of or refused to acknowledge earlier.

Tee even wears the same shirt with his father as when he gives Non money. The shirt slowly mixes in more of a green-gray hue to what was previously white.

What I find particularly interesting is the way Tee's father is framed. He is in red/pink, much like Non, cementing perhaps a connection between characters who have mental illness, but also have both clearly been wronged by society and the social systems around them. Tee's dad mentions land being stolen from him. And the woman who yells at him and Tee is deliberately wearing a contrasting blue. The same blue that is worn by the "friend" group, by Non's parents, and Keng--all of whom reject, harm, and fail to collectively care for Non. The woman argues that Tee's dad should be locked up in his house, separating him from the outside world. I think there's a real critique here about the failures of inclusion, care, and collectivity (as an aside notice too how Por's mom blames Non's dissappearance on his bad upbringing, using her wealth and power to displace what was a failure of the community to protect Non onto the family unit).

Tee knows intimately what it means to be failed by society, to be uncared for. The only one who steps in to help him care for his father or himself is his uncle who is preying on him. Social systems and care have failed and folks like Tee and Non don't just fall through the cracks but get shoved through them violently.

This is why I find it interesting that Tee is not only wearing red/pink but also flowers--something you must nurture, care for, and help grow. He is wearing this when he takes care of his father, and we see the inversion of familial and care taking roles, and the pain that brings in a society that isn't imagining other forms of care.

Tee wears these flowers as he gives Non money and you can see in the way the scene is framed that Non is also standing in front of pink flowers. Tee is trying to make things right, it's a desperate act of care despite what he's done. It's tinged by guilt, and bogged down within a system that makes money one of the few forms of help that can be offered. And of course it comes in the wake of Tee and others withholding care and friendship from Non.

The gaming center highlights this further with striking greens and flowery pink curtains. Here he is in an environment where he can perhaps change, the green offering that promise. The pink flowers signal the way he is working for someone other than himself.

He doesn't abandon the blue of the friend group, but his colors are expanding sharply, becoming more of a rainbow as his world and perspective opens up.

Meanwhile back at school we get the rest of the boys. Each of them has a drink: red, blue, and green. Both Top and Fluke have red, representing the way that what happened with Non haunts them--though not in the sense of feeling guilty or caring so much as the consequences. Por's drink is blue, because he doesn't even care enough to be worried about consequences (he does have a huge shield against any in his parents). Jin is the one with green, clearly showing that he, like Tee is empathizing with Non and has a conscience, before he storms out of the cafeteria.

Back at the casino, Perth's character is also framed by blue, red, and green. This could represent the way, despite his put yourself first talk, he cares and empathizes with others. Or perhaps the way he tells Tee point blank that it's his fault Non is in this shit hole, moving along Tee's journey to self-awareness. But it could also be a sign that he is up to something that could help Non (for those Non is alive truthers).

After Non's death, Tee's world goes gray, at least for a moment. All color is gone, drained. No green, no pink/red, no rainbow. @tbhimnoteasyonmyself wrote a bit here about some other ways that this coloring represents Tee's grief, gray morality, and lifelessness.

After this, Tee continues to work at the gaming center. He's still surrounded by green, he's grown a conscience and with that comes the way he is now bogged down by guilt. He now wears a red jacket. Before I think his red was more closely aligned with what he shared with Non, things like poverty and mental illness in his life. Now, however, I think we can read this jacket during the sequence with White as a representation of Tee's feelings of guilt that White will help him at least temporarily wash clean. Tee begins these scenes with red on his shoulders, literally carrying the weight of what happened to Non on his back. In another sense, as the only one who knows what fully happened to Non, Tee becomes the only one who can carry on his color(s).

*side note and spoiler for the film Shutter but I feel like this has interesting parallels with the way the wronged spirit in the film sits on Tun's shoulders, weighing him down to represent his culpability, forcing him to literally feel the guilt he is supposed to be carrying but doesn't seem to actually feel, despite telling his girlfriend he never forgave himself.

White enters re-emphasizing the pink flowers. white will offer Tee hope that he is someone better, someone who can care for someone else, and perhaps be cared for in turn. And we get both white and pink flowers again out the back door of the gaming center.

White (the color) contains all colors, and White (the character) opens Tee's world back to rainbow again.

Over time red become colors that White wants to exchange and share.

And Tee gives in, passing off the weight of his guilt to White. He surrounds himself with pinks (care) and green (his conscience and sense of being a good person).

By the end of their backstory, White sits above Tee as a savior of sorts. He has taken the red off Tee's shoulders, leaving him born anew in all white, a fresh start of sorts. Tee moves from grey shirts early on, to a mix of black and white, to this final white. It's a striking contrast to the image we started this post with, where black competes with white, and the white shrouds signal a false hope.

In the present day, Tee wears tie die that mixes blue with pink then orange. We can see this as his struggle between saving himself and protecting/caring for White. But we also might see it as the creeping return of the guilt and pain Tee left behind and buried deep down when he let White take the red from his shoulders. He has to face it once again no matter how much he tries to shield himself from it's weight.

In a flashback of Phi and New, we get Phi in his blue and New in orange. I'm not sure what to do with the orange. We've seen New in blues, red, whites, and of course green coloring, which I wrote about a couple weeks back when we got his backstory. I'm not sure what to do with the orange. Something to reflect on when we have the finale perhaps?

Back in the present, Phi is also in white, representing the crossroads he's on, and his choice to start anew by stopping his revenge plan.

Alright! I think that's everything for now. I'd honestly love to hear other folks readings cause this week was a complicated one. I'm sure there's other interpretations and perspectives on this that would work just as well if not better.

#dff the series #dead friend forever #dff meta #dead friend forever meta #my posts #my meta

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vesseloftherevolution · 10 months

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Napoleon 2023, Review

I saw this with @idefilarate, and it was such a train-wreck. There was so much wrong with it, in the funniest way imaginable. We spent the entire film whispering what was wrong to each other.

This will be a long post, and I’m aware a lot of other people have already made some excellent points on here.

I can see what Ridley Scott was attempting with this film, and there are several reasons it didn’t work. I also have some historical specific points to make.

Directing Choices, Acting Problems, and the English Propaganda

It can be argued that Scott was trying to show Napoleon in a “more human” light, and I am always perfectly happy with that interpretation. It could also be argued he was deliberately showing Napoleon in a negative light, which I am also fine with. However, this film didn’t really do either. Napoleon did not seem more human for his brutish behaviour to Josephine, the childish tantrums or the forced jokes. If Scott had wanted a proper negative light, he would have focused on Napoleon’s ruthlessness, such as with the Massacre in Egypt, and his willingness to bypass the laws.

The overall sense I got when watching the film was that it was too compressed. The action went from point to point without showing how on Earth it got there. We had about ten minutes of Napoleon as consul, and then he was unexpectedly emperor, with a token line from Talleyrand about becoming emperor. Too much stuff in not enough time. However, I was also bored. By the time it got to Napoleon on Elba, I half felt like taking out my phone and doing something else. There was no narrative arc to keep the load of action in place, and the characters went through no real development.

There was some good acting. The lady playing Letizia Bonaparte was excellent, for the ten minutes we saw of her, as was Talleyrand. There were even a few scenes with the main characters (like Josephine cooing over the baby) that I actively enjoyed. But for the main part, every character had one mode and that was it. Napoleon was sulky and incompetently panicked. Josephine was moody or upset in a coquettish way. Tzar Alexis I was obnoxiously cheerful about everything.

I can see, as others have pointed out, that Scott was following English propaganda of the “Corsican Ogre”. However, he payed no attention to the fact that Wellington had a good deal of respect for Napoleon as a general, and that part of Napoleon’s charm for the English press was just how astonishingly unexpected he was. This wasn’t a caricature of Napoleon. This was a caricature of a caricature.

Historical Inaccuracies

Oh. Where to start with the many many many things that were wrong with this. I am fairly lenient when it comes to historical accuracy in fiction. Authors and filmmakers are allowed some artistic liberties, otherwise they wouldn’t be writing fiction. However, the sheer amount of nonsense Scott made up is incredible. I am going to list it in bullet-points, so as not to rant too much:

The age gap between Josephine and Napoleon, and how that messed up their relationship.

The utter butchery of FRev, including Marie Antoinette executed in 1789, and Robespierre looking like Danton and spouting random nonsense.

Hot-shot destroying the ships in Toulon harbour, whilst N hadn’t finished capturing little Gibraltar.

Josephine’s dress hanging off her shoulder as if she were a whore.

The lake battle with “the high ground”. It doesn’t deserve the name of Austerlitz.

The lack of tactics in any of the battles. Just men running at each other.

Josephine and Napoleon’s relationship being at best toxic and strained.

Napoleon returned from Elba because Josephine had a fling with Alexander, despite the fact Josephine had historically died earlier that year.

Letizia making Napoleon cheat randomly.

The scopes at Waterloo, the lack of farmhouses, the tents just behind the lines.

Wellington being clumsy and talking too much nonsense.

The use of Ça Ira and the Camagnole (which was in itself somewhat good), but the utter lack of any of the other excellent Napoleonic folk songs and military marches.

That is all that immediately comes to mind. Having said all that, I did enjoy the cinematography, and it was worth seeing, just to confirm my suspicions that it was a mess, and that there are many better films. Hopefully you’ve enjoyed this rant! Let me know if there’s anything I’ve missed off the list of failings.

#napoleon 2023 #napoleon bonaparte #josephine de beauharnais #Letizia Bonaparte #frev #french revolution #napoleonic wars #maximilien robespierre #film review #historical musings #what the fricking hell was that mess #poor marshals. they basically didn’t exist

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coraniaid · 2 years

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I don't know how it's possible to watch Season 3 of Buffy and not notice that Buffy Summers is consistently the one character most willing to come to Faith's defense, both before and after Allan Finch dies.

I mean, yes, I understand how in-universe it's possible for Faith to not notice this. It's very natural that she doesn’t: Faith's a traumatized teenager with literally no support system. She isn’t used to anybody else believing in her or caring about her.

She’s somebody who is always willing to believe the worst of others (“all men are beasts”, “nine times out of ten the face [a person] is showing you is not the real one”). And her own sense of self-worth is very fragile and deeply intertwined with her relationship with Buffy, fluctuating wildly between "I am better than everyone else (because I am a Slayer like Buffy)" and "every parental figure I've ever had has told me I was stupid and worthless and they were right (I will never be as good as Buffy)".

So it's easy for her to interpret Buffy's overtures of friendship as rejections of a deeper connection, to take her suggestions that they should work together as judgments that Faith isn't good enough on her own and that she needs to act more like Buffy.

(And ... okay, yes, it’s also true that sometimes Buffy does judge Faith, and she does think Faith would be better off being at least a little bit more like her. I think it’s clear that Buffy does care about Faith, and wants to protect her, but I don't think Buffy's perfect. She's often afraid to express herself clearly or talk about her feelings, especially after what happened with Angelus in Season 2, and she does have a definite inclination to assume she knows best and that other people should just listen to her without question. She's a traumatized teenager too, even if that's not always quite so obvious.)

And crucially, Faith doesn't get to see Buffy defending her when she isn't around.

But the audience? We do get to see that. We see how much Buffy believes in Faith and how her first instinct is almost always to stick up for her.

We see it at the end of the first episode Faith appears in, when Buffy is talking to Giles about their fight with Kakistos.

Buffy: "[Faith] really came through in the end. She had a lot to deal with, but she did it. She got it behind her."

-- S3E03 | Faith, Hope & Trick

(This is also, as the episode makes clear, an example of Buffy comparing herself to Faith and deciding that she needs to follow the other Slayer’s example. Which is something that Faith is convinced never happens. But it does: when Faith isn’t there to see it.)

And after their fight in Revelations, we see Buffy admitting to Xander and Willow that she worries about Faith and wants to include her in the group more:

Xander: "How come Faith was a no show?"

Buffy: "Couldn't reach her ... again. She hasn't been hanging out much."

Xander: "I detect worry."

Buffy; "A little bit. Slaying's a rough gig."

-- S3E09 | The Wish

After Finch dies, Buffy is the one to tell Angel that Faith wants to be helped, and urge him not to give up on her:

Buffy: "How's she doing? ... You'll keep trying, right? ... I'll just go to Faith's and I'll get some of her stuff. That way she'll see that we're on her side."

Angel: "Look, I don't want to get your hopes up, Buffy. She may not want us to help her."

Buffy: "She does. She just doesn't know how to say it."

-- S3E15 | Consequences

And at the end of the same episode, Buffy is again the one to persuade Giles that Faith’s actions in saving her from Trick show she deserves a chance at rehabilitation:

Buffy: "She could have left me there to die, Giles, but she didn't. ... I'm not gonna give up on her."

-- S3E15 | Consequences

And in the following episode, we see Buffy defend Faith to Willow and again talk about how similar they are.

Buffy: "[Faith] had it rough. Different circumstances, that could be me."

-- S3E16 | Doppelgangland

And a couple of episodes later, when Buffy's attempting to talk herself out of the fear that Angel might be cheating on her with Faith, it's Faith who she tells herself wouldn't betray her, not the vampire she's actually dating.

Buffy: I went to Angel's last night and Faith was there. They looked sort of intimate.

Willow: No way. I know what you're thinking and no way.

Buffy: You're right. Faith would never do that.

-- S3E17 | Enemies

Even later on in the same episode, when Faith's actual collusion with the Mayor is revealed, Buffy's first reaction is to make excuses for her and then to implore her to listen to her:

Buffy: You don't know what you're doing ... Faith, listen to me ... I never knew you had so much rage in you.

-- S3E17 | Enemies

It's only after all of that that Buffy seems prepared to give up on Faith, and only in Graduation Day when Angel's life is on the line that she's actually willing to hurt her (earlier, in Choices, she’s still talking about ‘capturing’ Faith). And when she does stab Faith, and Faith falls from the roof, seemingly to her death, it’s obvious from her reaction that Buffy immediately regrets this. Even if she didn’t think she had any other choice, it isn’t how she wanted things to happen.

So honestly it kind of baffles me when I see people agreeing with the take that Buffy’s focus on how Faith might be feeling, when she hears that she’s woken up in This Year’s Girl, and her apparent hope that Faith might regret her past actions and want to change, is somehow something new. That it isn’t perfectly in keeping with how Buffy’s always felt about Faith. Or even that the idea of being willing to give people a second chance is something Buffy had to learn from Angel.

Because no, sorry, that's just totally backwards: Angel himself learned all that from Buffy.

(Also, just logistically ... how would Buffy have learned anything from Angel at this point in Season 4 that she didn't already know back in Season 3, when – from her point of view, at least – she's barely spoken to him since he broke up with her and left town last season?)

Not just in regards to Faith, either, but the whole idea of needing to keep fighting for people and not give up on them, and how you have to keep doing that every day? Angel's whole mission statement (both the character and the show)? That's literally all taken from a speech Buffy gives Angel in Amends. The show is very clear on this: it's Buffy who teaches Angel to be a better person, not the other way around.

#btvs #buffy summers #faith lehane #after S4 I think it is true that Angel believes in Faith when Buffy doesn't #and that makes sense: it wasn't Angel's body Faith stole #but that doesn't mean that that's retroactively how their dynmaic always worked

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frostycatblr-fandom-files · 1 year

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Babe Across The Bar [LGBT+ Fem!Reader]

Warnings and Information: Feminine LGBT+ reader who expresses romantic/sexual attraction for more than just men. HOMOPHOBES BEGONE! List is primarily TBB centric, with a few bonus Clones. Minor suggestive content/dialogue. Pining. Gay Panic™. Mentions of alcohol. Sprinkling of Mando'a. Minor language. There's one line that could be interpreted as the reader experiencing being outed against her will, but kept vague in Tech's section of these snapshot scenarios. Hardcase's section deals with homophobes. Doesn’t follow the typical headcanons put into bullet points format because I ended up being a little too inspired for these! Some of these also deviated from the original prompt, but I feel they still relate enough to warrant inclusion.

Word-count: 4,694

Prompt: How would the boys (any boys, all the boys, whomever boys) react to their gal friend/crewmate and/or feminine S/O commenting on how stunning another girl is?

Hunter (Crewmate offering to be your wingman)

His eyes often flit to the door whenever someone walks in out of habit in large part to his senses. Keeping an eye on his surroundings. Things he was trained to do. So he notices the attractive woman who's just strolled in through the front entrance of 79's. Her clothing, her hair, her nails are all beautiful and immaculate.

And he notices how your breath hitches in your throat when you see her. But it's not insecurity or jealousy that made you do that. He's caught on for a while now that you "swing more than one way" as it were. But you've never been explicit in your words, or given him the big speech, so he's kept his mouth shut. If a member of his crew has something to tell him, he wants to give them a chance. You're no different.

But the comment under your breath is enough to finally ask. "Oh Maker, she's gotta be one of the angels from Iego…" You've just compared her to the Diathim of Millius Prime, practically swooning.

He takes a sip of his drink, eyes trained on the bombshell beauty you seem to be pining for. "You wanna go talk to her?"

You shake your head rapidly at him, trying not to choke on the drink in your hands with the fruit-flavored and colorful, jelly-like particulate. (It's new to the novelty drinks menu at 79's, so Hunter's not sure how it tastes, but you seem to like it.) "Oh stars no!" Did he misread the situation before him, were you looking at her with jealousy after all?

You sigh, putting your head in your hands with a groan. "She's so out of my league… She's probably only here for the troopers, anyways." you add solemnly, finally slumping forward in your seat at the bar top. Hunter sets down his glass and plants a steady hand on your shoulder in a gesture of comfort. He's still getting to know you as a regular part of his squad, in all fairness, but he should have trusted his instinct. You did seem to have a thing for women.

So maybe he could offer to help.

"Well… if you've had enough liquid courage and want to try your luck, I'll be your wingman, cyar'ika." he says, giving you a friendly pat after slowly sitting up. You'll think about it, you murmur.

You never end up making a move to so much as introduce yourself to her, much, much too nervous. At the end of the night, Hunter, who had tried to coax and encourage you several times throughout the night, just gives you another pat on the back. "Maybe next time, cyare. Don't feel too bad." As you walk back to the Marauder together, Hunter won't pressure you into it of course but he offers to help you practice for next time, if you think it'll cheer you up. As part of his squad, there'll always be the banter and the teasing of course, but Hunter will always offer to help.

Crosshair (Initially confused (+ insecure) partner)

Sight sharper than a knife, he was not quite afraid to check out the beautiful woman hanging off another Clone's elbow once upon a time. But now, with you, he keeps himself in check for the most part. You've briefly had that talk as a relatively new couple, that really it’s okay. It’s only natural to look. We’re all kriffing human, after all, aren’t we? The whole possessive ownership aspect is weird and icky to you, and you’re not gonna get yourself in a twist just because you catch him glancing at another woman. But he realizes there's probably something else you should have talked about together.

You like women too, and you’re looking at them just as much. It's hard to miss by the fifth instance of a remark like "Oh, she's cute!" and subsequent gestures with your glass to indicate who you're looking at. He's trying so hard not to feel like you’re testing him. Like you’re playing some little game by calling his loyalty into question, just how “obedient” he’ll really be. "Oh, yeah?" There's a strange twist of discomfort in his guts that he can't figure out. Is he jealous? Is he upset? (Should he order something to eat from the overpriced appetizer menu?)

"Yeah, I mean, look at her," you invite him with a flashy smile, "she's cute!"

He blinks at you with mild concern. He's heard alcohol brings out a different side in people, and he can't recall the full array of what you've had to drink. "Are you feeling alright?" He's unsure why he's so bothered. Is it because you're not paying attention to him?

"Better than alright, Cross. What's wro-? Oh. Oh shit didn't I tell you?" you set down your drink with a soft laugh and an apology, face looking flushed in a way that has nothing to do with the red and purple club lights. "I, uh, I play for more than one team, romantically at least. I'm sorry if I never told you, Crosshair."

He frowns for a split second, but he quickly answers that there's no need to apologize. He was a little confused at first sure (and perhaps slightly envious that you were commenting so openly on other people who weren't him), but he takes a look now at the woman you had indicated. She's not just cute, "Oh, the smoke show in the red dress?"

"Yeah. That's the one." you nod approvingly, the movement slow and deliberate. "She's a stunner, ain't she?" Certainly is, he agrees. (One of his brothers sighs playfully and makes the remark that nights out to 79's, or any bar for that matter, will get a lot more interesting from now on.)

The rest of the night carries on this way, you making the occasional glancing once-over of another trooper's arm-candy for the night, but most of your attention is given to Crosshair. You're with him for a reason. You know how to behave yourself, for kriff's sake. Any inkling of the horrible, hateful stereotypes of your orientation being true are so far from reality. You don't make passes at everyone you see. You keep your comments innocent and general if you decide to get a little gutsy and talk to one of them.

The redhead's got curls to die for, what kind of product is she using?

That is such a cute dress (with pockets!) that you have to know where she got it, because you swear you've seen fashion like that on Naboo.

Sorry if this is weird to ask but she's totally wearing a designer fragrance from one of the Core Worlds, right?

By the end of the night, Crosshair is reassured that you're not playing any kind of game with him, and perhaps the two of you will be having another talk to smooth out any wrinkles he has in his understanding of your orientation; but you promise him over and over you're with him for a reason in case any of your comments tonight made him feel any doubt. Just because you swing more than one way does not mean you're going to leave in the event you feel a stronger preference for women for a while. You love him.

And he wholly believes you.

Wrecker (Your enthusiastic hype-man)

"Oh shit." You hunker down in the booth seat, wide-eyed and breathless.

Wrecker reflexively glances down at the casual fatigues he wore to 79's tonight instead of the dark red and gray armor he typically wears. "Wha'? Did I get dip on myself again?" He doesn't see anything, so he takes a look at you, and that's when he notices you practically halfway under the table. "Did you drop something? I can lift the table so it's easier to-!"

"No!" you blurt out, sitting up. "That won't be necessary! Don't lift the table!"

You're starting to confuse him. "Then what's wrong?"

"She's here." A slightly shaky finger is pointed across the Clone bar, where seated at the counter, is the woman who's only ever shown interest in the other girls often brought here, or the dancers. You've had a not-so-silent crush on her for ages but didn't want to go and try anything. Until last week when she turned down what must've been the hundredth trooper. "Sorry fellas, afraid I'm not interested. But you'd all definitely be my type if I was into men." Oh Maker you'd been a hopeless mess.

The endless inner cycle of 'do I want to BE her, or do I want to be WITH her?' had finally sorted itself out in your head after that.

Wrecker knew from the jump that your romantic and sexual interests did not begin and end with men when he caught you staring at the same woman as him in a dirty jumpsuit on the airfield. And then literally caught you when you tripped over Tech's box of tools in your distraction. Ever since, he's done his best to help you make a move over someone you were clearly feeling something for.

"Go talk to her!" Wrecker encourages you, nudging your ribs with a careful elbow, "Say hi!"

"Maker, I can't, she's so pretty a-and like-? Oh Wrecker I can't even explain it… It's like I look at her and I just-"

Wrecker chuckles softly, leveling you with a look that tells you he knows exactly what you mean. "Have trouble thinkin' straight because she's gonna be paying attention and you don't want to kark it up?"

You bite your bottom lip so hard he's worried you'll make it bleed and get it all over your pretty little outfit. "Y-yes! I'm so nervous…"

He tells you not to worry about it too much, you're overthinking it! "Introduce yourself, mesh'la. You'll kick yourself for days if you don't." Okay, okay, he's right. Here goes nothing, you say. You slip out of the booth seat and sidle up to the drinks counter under the notion of ordering another drink first, but your crush takes notice of you in her proximity, and all she manages is a pleasant hello before you're a grinning mess. Wow, you had it bad for her. You stammer through your introduction, and give her your name as you say it was nice to meet her, and sure, you'd love to chat while the drink slinger whips something up!

In one of your many nervous glances around the club, he makes sure you get a clear view of his approving thumbs up. You're doing great! You end up talking to her for nearly forty-five minutes before she has to leave, she's got work in the morning, but she's scribbling something down on the bar top that Wrecker can't see.

"Hey, look at you! You did it, kid!" Wrecker cheers as you walk back over to the booth in a daze, your eyes focused on the slip of flimsiplast in your hands.

"Sh-she gave me her comm frequency… What does that mean?"

Wrecker can only laugh. Oh man, guess even you will have your help-how-do-I-function-around-a-girl-I've-never-even-met-a-girl moments he's seen many Clones have.

"I think that means she wants to keep talking to ya, ad'ika."

"O-oh." Is all you simply say. "Holy kriff I did it. I talked to her." you add after a long, long pause as Wrecker adds the number into your contacts for you, just in case the flimsi gets wet and you end up losing the number before the night is over.

"You sure did! I knew you could do it!"

Tech (Not-so-surprised friend)

To him, the fact that you have a romantic, perhaps even sexual interest in women is as obvious as the fact that the phenotypic eye color for (most) Clones is brown.

That's simply just how it is, in his world. But he has extensively researched how significant a coming out is for people such as yourself who do not fall under a heteronormative scope. He does not ask. He does not hint to you that he knows. And if he has let it slip, he is careful to express that it is not a big deal.

Not a big deal in the sense that he would end a friendship with you, or view you as if there was something "broken" and "defective" about you. That would be rather hypocritical of him after all. Well, sort of. He's more deviant than defective, because his genetic mutations do not hinder his ability to perform as a competent soldier of the GAR, and much like your inclinations, that is not something he has control over. He is simply a Clone from a "bad batch" much in the same way that you are a woman who fancies other women.

If you were to even come out to him, he has already carefully considered what he would say to you. He values your friendship and your company. He would very much like to maintain this by saying the right thing.

That he is glad that you trusted him enough to share such an important facet of yourself. That though, quite honestly, he has questions, he will save them for another time. That he understands you must be nervous, scared even, but he will never treat you any different than before you told him. And he most definitely will not tell you that he deduced this months ago.

But blast him, when you sent him a message asking to meet up at 79's a little earlier before the typical meetup, he was so certain that this was the conversation. So he had been mentally coaching himself on what to say, but more importantly what not to say so much, that when you slipped into the booth and said "I wanna tell you something, Tech…" it slipped his mouth faster than a Mon Calamari in water.

"That you like women?"

Oh shit. Oh shitshitshit. That was the thing he was supposed to refrain from saying or asking!

"Hah… Was I really that obvious? Did I worry for nothing?" You ask with a sincere laugh. You're not offended, or angry, or anything in the slightest. In fact, you look relieved. "...Tech?"

"I'm so sorry." is all he can offer. Oh Maker, he's so incredibly sorry, he tells you. He's robbed you of the chance to have a very significant conversation about what many deem unnatural, but in fact it's not; just before you joined him in their usual booth at 79's he was reading an admittedly rather heartwarming article about same-sex couples occuring in the galactic animal kingdom before you arrived, actually! (Everything from the little nuna to the mighty and magnificent purrgil!) But he's suspected this for some time and didn't think it was his place to ask. He's sorry he's ruined this chance for y-

You interrupt him with a laugh as you take one of his hands and squeeze it reassuringly. You just laugh and laugh, a grin from ear to ear the whole time before you settle yourself. "Oh, Tech… It's okay! I don't care if it didn't end up being surprising to you. I'm just so glad you understood that you shouldn't say something just because it was obvious in this case. Thank you. You're a good friend. Not everyone has been."

He's sorry to hear that, first and foremost. "But I am… glad that you trusted me enough to want to tell me."

Echo (Friend who's known for ages)

Echo carefully tests whatever fun and colorful drink you ordered for yourself as you give his a try. The two of you have been friends for ages, since before the Citadel. So that means Echo's known nearly as long as you've been friends that you swing more than one way. In fact, it was surprisingly comforting to know that had not changed since ending up in a Techno Union chamber.

"Hey, cyar'ika. Can I ask if you… Would it be weird to…" he sighed sharply and says he's just going to rip off the bacta patch and ask. "Do you still like women in addition to-?"

"Don't worry. That hasn't changed while you were gone." you told him, wrapping him up in a careful hug on one of those first nights since he'd been freed and given time to rest. To fill himself in on what happened in the galaxy around him since being plugged into an algorithm. "Welcome back, Echo."

He sets the drink down and shakes his head, and you give him back his beverage with a disgusted shudder. "Ugh. How can you stand that?" you both tease each other in tandem.

"I don't understand your taste in beverages, but at least I understand your taste in women." Echo rags on you with a mischievous smile, indicating someone across the club who's been staring at the drinks menu for the last three minutes. "How about her? Clone News Network suggests she's a little shy, perhaps, but I've heard you have a similar hobby. That's something, hm?"

You scoff, knowing well enough that the rumor mill requires taking things with a grain of salt. "Oh no, that's not enough to just-"

"She's also of 'multiple persuasions'." Echo assures you, quelling that particular anxiety. "Believe me, I asked around rather… extensively." he suggests.

"Oh, did you now?"

"Mhm."

"Are you trying to set me up on a d-?"

Echo shakes his head. "Mm-mn. Only asked if any of the boys had gotten a vibe, or heard anything. She's pretty forthcoming about it, turns out, so it's not like this was something I found by invading her privacy or betraying trusts." He's a skilled tactician, he reminds you gently, and he understands that asking around takes delicacy and knowing that you can't just ask any ol' brother.

He's nothing but mindful, as ever. "If you wanna do anything about it, that's up to you. You get more out of something when you want it, I wasn't going to set you up for something against your will."

You take a thoughtful swig of your beverage and set the glass down on the bar top once more. "If I did… would you help me plan on how to make a move? You know I'm a little hopeless with this stuff. Guys are one thing, but, I dunno, it's different when trying to flirt with another woman as a woman." you admit with a nervous laugh.

Of course he would, Echo promises sweetly, kindly as ever.

BONUS CLONES

Fives (Gives you advice)

Between reminding Hardcase not to go in rotary cannons blazing nearly every mission, and coming up with sufficient battle strategies as an Advanced Recon Commando, Fives is nearly convinced that he'll go gray by the time he's, what, technically fifteen? Nearly.

So in a way, he loves when you send him a message asking for his input on low-stakes stuff. No one's in any danger, he's not worried about a brother's safety, and he still gets to show off how smart he is.

>Oh Maker Fives help there's a total babe here tonight I think she's super cute but I don't know if it's safe to make a move or say anything what do I do

It's 21:00: are you at 79's?

> Yeah why

79's is a pretty accepting establishment, so see if anything she brought with her or is wearing has any kind of pin, or keychain or deliberate color scheme, Ka'ra. Take a deep breath.

He chuckles as he watches the bubbles start and stop at the bottom of the messaging feature repeatedly. Poor you. Must be so nervous. So worked up on your own anxiety and panic that you might benefit from a second, teasing reminder.

Ka'raaaa. Did you take a deep breath, silly? I don't care what the song says, love is not a battlefield, you don't need to panic.

He thinks for a second and changes his mind.

Actually no, scratch that. It is, but it isn't. You still need a strategy, but you need to have a level head first.

> You're right, you're right. Taking a deep breath

Captain Rex seems to materialize behind him and over the shoulder like a hologram, peering down at the screen out of curiosity. "Those don't look like reports. One of our brothers having a little lady trouble at 79's again?"

Fives laughs in good humor. "I'm not exactly sure why I got designated the 501st's biggest flirt, but I'll take it, Captain." He can get plenty nervous and unsure of what to say like anyone else, but Fives cares about his brothers; of course he's going to do his best to help them. "No, it's our favorite mechanic here on Coruscant." He trusts his Captain will exercise his discretion and make no mention of knowing the romantic and sexual persuasions of their friend if she hadn't made explicit mention to him. "I see. Well, wish her luck for me. I've got my own reports I've put off long enough."

"I'll have mine in by 21:30, Captain!" Fives promises, knowing he'll probably be helping some of the Shinies learn to fill them out properly once again. A little extra guidance and another source of advice goes a long way for many, brothers and friends alike.

> Good call about looking for pins, Fives. I think I'm in the clear

He's not totally sure what that color scheme ties to when you describe the personal touch this "total babe across the bar" has added to her handbag looks like, but the simple fact that you're now fairly sure you're safe to flirt with her (if that's what you decide to do) brings you a lot of relief.

Him too, honestly.

You gonna go for it, mesh'la? The Captain and I wish ya luck if you do!

> I'd have to think of the right words first, but thanks Fives. You coming to 79's later tonight?

Have reports to finish up, so we'll see.

> Your's or some of your brothers'? (Is it Hardcase's again?)

Very funny, Ka'ra. I just try to be helpful to whoever asks.

> I'm only teasing~ You're a very smart dependable brother, and friend, Fives. Next time you come to 79's if it's not tonight, I'll buy you a drink as a way of saying thank you.

Fives smiles. He'd like that, he responds. He wishes you luck once more, and says he should get a start on wrapping this particular report up since it contains information the Captain will need to report to General Skywalker with.

Never told us there'd be this much damn paperwork to do as part of our training on Kamino if you're gonna be made an ARC trooper.

> Good thing you're smart, Fives. I'm confident you'll figure out something wicked intelligent, like how to stop this war one day. 🩷

Captain Rex (Doing his best to learn and support you)

"Huh… gotta say, there's certainly a lot to try to understand; I might still have a few questions about it, but I'm not gonna pry into it if you don't feel like explaining it." The Captain admits, scratching the back of his neck with a soft chuckle. "I'm not quite up to speed on all this, but-"

"Rex, it's okay." you assure him. "I know you're doing your best. I only told you a short while ago, remember? And hey," here you take his hand and give him a friendly squeeze, "it took me a while to realize this stuff about myself too. It's not always like the media where it just… "clicks", suddenly! It's almost like a building suspicion, or passing thoughts that you try to excuse at first, but then you realize that you're feeling these feelings and thinking these thoughts more and more. And that's when you tend to figure out "Oh, hey, that term I found on the Holonet describes me!" and it all makes sense. For the most part."

"Oh?" Rex asks, intrigued.

"Sometimes you find a label or orientation that fits you better than one you were first using." you explain, scribbling down a few labels off the top of your head onto a scrap of flimsi you had among your things as you met up with the Captain for a cup of caf on your day off, "Like say, you think this one best explains you," you circle an example, "so you use it for a while. But then later you hear about this-" you x-out the first label and circle a new one, "and you find it does a much better job of explaining how you feel. And there was nothing wrong with identifying with the first one for a while until you found what fit better and changed it, either."

He nods thoughtfully, very clearly mulling this over. Then it hits him. "A little like, well, when a Clone finds their name?"

"Yes!" you cheer, "Yes, kinda like when a Clone finds his name! Maybe he thought he wanted to be called Skip for a while, but he decided he felt more comfortable with naming himself Tripper after hearing someone else say it for the first time."

He thinks he better understands this now when he thinks of it in this context, he explains with a smile that suggests a lot of relief. He's just so busy, but he wanted to understand what you meant after the last night out you had with the 501st and you were all sharing embarrassing stories. Rex wasn't a stranger to the fact that men could like men and women could like women, but some of these other labels were lost on him.

"I've been around a while, but I have to admit I don't know what that means." he sheepishly replied when you explained what your orientation was as part of your embarrassing situation. But now that he knows, Rex wants you to know you'll always have his support.

Hardcase (Identifies as a Kriffing Problem if you don't respect his friends)

It's good news for you, bad news for the nasties when they decide that they want to be antagonistic in a safe space. You wanted to check out a new, very accepting bar in the area, and had asked Hardcase to come along with you to help ease your nerves about it.

His lively energy would do everyone some good, you figured. He was friendly and personable, so he'd get along with everyone. And you were right; Hardcase truly does get along with everyone from the snappily-dressed bartenders to the other allies who are there to support their friends in case there's trouble.

Everyone except the bigots. He's always been all-smiles off the battlefield due to his energetic nature, and you've never seen him drop a smile so fast. When it's time to get serious, Hardcase gets serious. "What the kriff did you say?" He's not asking because he didn't hear what insults had been lobbied your way, he's giving the other guy a chance to back down and leave if he knows what's good for him. "I know you didn't just say that about my friend."

The other guy repeats himself, louder this time. "I said anyone who identifies as a-"

"I'm about to identify as a kriffing problem if you don't shut the hell up." Hardcase warns him one last time, putting himself between you and the antagonizer who overheard you mentioning there were a lot of cute girls here tonight.. "Sorry that you feel so threatened by a woman finding someone other than you attractive, but that's a "you" problem that you should take somewhere else." He suggests they take a hike to 79's specifically. He conveniently "forgets" to mention that it's a Clone bar, and as the troublemakers leave, he tips off a few of his brothers about what's headed their way.

"Don't worry about them. They'll find out how many of us identify as a kriffing problem before they think about trying this again anytime soon." Hardcase promises, his sweet and charming smile present like it never even left as he checks on you after the fact.

Tagging: @the-hexfiles

[Masterlist] [Requests: OPEN]

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jacksoldsideblog · 10 months

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hey!! i would love to know your thoughts on how Marla’s character changes in a gender bent version of fight club :)

my thoughts on Marla as a man are (edit: WERE. this got long) much less fully formed than my thoughts of the narrator and Tyler if they were women, but I'll share what I've been kicking around!

Firstly, I've done all my characterization by looking at the characters in the original, looking at them with respect to how the narrator is a gay man (this is canonical to me, I understand it's an interpretation but I simply don't bother with others, and honestly even if you don't consider that interpretation it remains that the narrative itself was written by a gay man and it really echoes in the characters) and then letting things fold out.

I said in another post a while ago that while Marla fucks the narrator/Tyler, ultimately I don't think shes actually in any form of a relationship with them and is most bonded with a sense of friendship. Which I think I would keep, with Martin (what I decided to name male Marla).

Additionally, the narrator has a lot of semi surpressed rage about Marla — arguably about how easy she is able to do what he wants, ie fuck men, fuck Tyler, etc. about how she is an unavoidable part of his life. about how women are an unavoidable part of his life. Please note, I mean that in a "he's gay" way and not a "he's a male seperatist" way.

So for me, I think Martin would be derived from something of the same. An unavoidable part of the narrators life. Keeps coming around like a stray cat that got fed once or twice. The narrator does not like him. The narrator hates how easily he can do what she wants — be masculine unhindered, unthinking, go through life unencumbered, fuck women, does not even have to think about the shit the narrator does.

I think, also, they would be friends, in the way where they're close, and they know each others' pains even if they can't truly share them. I think Martin would actually be a lot like the narrator — building on Marla's own self characterization, he hates himself, thinks he's a waste of space. It's partially why he hangs out with misandrists.

The question becomes should Tyler and Martin fuck? Because obviously, if you were to just one to one it, they would. But I think you have to consider the differences in fantasies. The narrator (gay man) dreams up a version of himself who can have all the male brotherhood and touch, but is also capable of reaping the benefits fucking women allotts men in society. It's honrstly the most repressive part of Tyler wrt the Narrator's sexuality. The narrator (gay man) comes up with Tyler to keep Marla in his life because he can't imagine a way to just be friends with her, especially without hitting on his own insecurities.

On the other hand, lesbians tend to do things differently. Fucking men gives you more privilege in society. But it also opens you up to tons of abuse from men. Many lesbians may closet themselves but dream instead of being free of men altogether, even if they don't dare dream about fucking women. There's different pressures. In a roundabout way, the narrator (lesbian) has Tyler to make friends with Martin, too, because Tyler is confident and forceful enough to not even entertain the idea that she should be in a relationship with the only man she's around, that she's felt any interest in.

So, I wouldn't have them fuck. I think Martin and Tyler would have a bit of a toxic, lets get fucked up together thing, Tyler probably loves to make Martin worse. Tyler likes seeing a man potentially actually have an internal sense of self capable of guilt and remorse. Martin likes being told he's a piece of shit. I also think there would be some sympathy, because:

I think the only reason he would be even vaguely allowed to hang around would be if he was gay, which is something of a departure from Marla's character — but I think, given that theyre not sexually entertwinned anymore, it's okay to let something like the strange relationship between gay men and lesbians stand in the slot for "complicated relationship."

And Marla has breast cancer scares, and it's the 90s, so I think you can imagine what scares a gay Martin has. I think, having Martin would add nuance to the representation of men, in female fight club. Men don't just hurt women, they hurt men too, especially gay men, and the scales are much different but I think the narrator and Tyler would see something kindred in that, in the way they wouldn't if he was just another human buttwipe of a man. Having Martin be a human buttwipe just doesn't work in the way Marla does, so they've got to have some other kindred thing.

So overall:

-hangs around like a stray cat

-gay, probably had a lot of bad shit happen to him

-narrator resents him so bad. still goes with him to the sex health clinic

-Tyler hangs out with him and they bemoan the shit men get away with. They make lists of men who should be gunned down at the first opportunity. They get drunk and stupid and the narrator is insanely jealous someone gets to have comraderie with Tyler like that, wants it to just be her.

-Tyler occasionally sets Martin to cleaning the entirety of Paper Street house as reparations. This is the only way it gets cleaned above "functional". Martin doesn't really care

-Considers himself toxic human waste

-Mostly looks like a male version of Marla. Skinny enough to be anorexic, waxy, like's he's been beat up by an abusive boyfriend.

-Doesn't do overtly feminine things really — just sort of inherently androgynous and rides on that. He hates that guys expect him to do debasing shit just like they expect of women. This is a frequent Tyler topic

-Does still totally have that fur/feathery looking coat though

#asks #female fight club au #i should retroactively tag stuff #congrats this made me actually flesh him out lol #fight club

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