#So they're no longer just ping ponging in my head

[artbyblastweave]

You said you needed to be prodded to elaborate on why Worm should have been longer? Well consider this a prod, if I may be so bold.

A big chunk of it is rote contrarianism. Part of it is that I like Worm, my experience reading so much Worm was "Sweet! Even More Worm! I've got so much Worm left before I'm out of Worm!" So a version of Worm with More Worm is prima facie an enticing prospect.

In the non-reflexive, genuinely considered sense, there possibly should have been an interlude arc to flesh out the timeskip, make it feel like it was as much of her powered career as it objectively was. And I'm far from the first person to make this observation. But on another level, there's a sense where "Worm Should Have Been Longer" is conflated in my head with "Worm's Timeframe Should Have Been Longer." Which is tricky, and invites further unpacking-

One thing about Worm I've noted in the past is that the villain portion of Skitter's cape career- more than two thirds of the book- only takes place over about three months, but- speaking only for my reading experience- this was surprisingly easy to miss or elide in my consideration of the narrative. One reason for this is that Taylor and her supporting cast are so heavily fleshed out, are so well-realized, undergo so much character development in a compacted timeframe, that it felt like I had been following them for much longer than I had. This is enhanced (was enhanced?) by the out-of-universe passage of time; The S9 interlude arc is, like, a little over the one-third mark of the story, but Worm had been running for a year at the time that that was published, and it certainly felt like I’d been reading a years' worth of fiction while binging it. In this way Worm was truly faithful to its comic book origins; story arcs that take place over the course of hours but are published over the course of months, building reader familiarity with characters who objectively haven’t been at what they're doing for very long. A third element (noticed on rereads) is that Wildbow often opens with scene transitions/cold-opens or what-have you that, are generally contiguous with the preceding events, but simultaneously slightly obfuscate exactly how much time has passed. Arc 6 opens with Taylor finishing up with the ABB mop-up, and it’s blocked to demonstrate how far she’s come in such a relatively short time period. It can’t have been more than a few days since Lung. It explicitly wasn’t. But it had the vibe of having been a while.

What I’m working towards here, inch by inch, is the following conclusion: Worm has what I call an eyedropper approach to Taylor’s three-months and 22 arcs. Any given escapade feels like it’s just one vignette, emblematic of a longer, two-or-three-year stage of her life, scooped out and displayed as a representative sample of what’s going on. When shit hits the fan with Dinah, it feels like the upset of a longstanding status quo, even though by that point, Skitter has only been in five or six major engagements alongside the Undersiders. When they spend Arc 21 lancing various supervillain incursions into the city, it felt like I was watching a day in the life, like this was something the Undersiders had been dealing with, and would be dealing with, for a while- even though arc 21′s handful of engagements are basically the only times Skitter did that before she left. Purely from a vibes-based perspective, you could tell me that the first two thirds of Worm are occurring over the course of eight to ten years, and I might roll with that for a minute.

But the catch is- her villainous career has the vibes of lasting a long time, but it’s actually really thematically and logically important that it doesn’t. Skitter’s friendships within the Undersiders are strongly predicated on her ping-ponging from crisis to crisis so quickly that no true reckoning about their differing morals can ever come about. Skitter’s ability to administer as a benevolent warlord is heavily predicated on her lines of credit from Coil- and you cannot stretch that tension out much longer than it was stretched in canon without Dinah dying or Coil getting fed up with Skitters non-profitability. Breathing room is anathema to the story’s depiction of a pressure-cooker society where every crisis begets a new crisis. Nothing between Lung and Alexandria plays out the same way if anyone is allowed any amount of time to think about or process anything. And you actually see this in arc 21; it’s the first time that Skitter has a real opportunity to think about what the long-term looks like, and there’s a whole sequence where she’s getting nervous about her ability to reign in Regent over the long-haul. It’s the first time in three months where she’s had the luxury to worry about that kind of thing. 

You square this circle by.... basically, by striking the canon balance. There's a sense in which I'm increasingly convincing myself that I'm not talking about a problem Worm has so much as a problem Worm already has a workable-but-imperfect solution for. Create distinct periods in Skitter's development- "Rookie era," "Warlord Era," "Wards Era," whatever-each of which feel like they could balloon out into a years-long status quo if this were a comic, even though the cast are really living through the weeks where decades happen. Rely on the Sheer Amount Of Worm to smooth over the breakneck pace at which everyone's character growth and interpersonal connections are developing. There are a few points in the story where "fuck, has it only been three months?" is a salient mood to invoke. The get-together with Danny's coworkers, the back-to-school portions of arc 20. But for the most part the work already does a really good job of making the pinched timeframe a minor bit of fridge logic and not something hugely dissonant and immersion-breaking.

In the process of writing this I've basically argued myself out of thinking that there's much to gain from fucking around with this delicate balance. I don't know if that has implications for whether or not additional arcs covering the timeskip would help or hurt that balance- at a certain level of focus, that whole "you liked us, but you didn't love us" bit about Skitter's time with the Wards vs. The Undersiders becomes a much harder sell. It was already one of the hardest sells in the book for me, the thing that got me thinking about this in the first place. (two years vs three months!) But at some point, I have to bite the bullet- in a work as ambitious as Worm, "good enough" is a fine thing to settle for. It's good enough!

[sogardenernacho]

Birthday Baby! - Tom Kaulitz

It was Tom's birthday and I drove to his House. I knocked on the door with cake, a gift bag around my wrist and balloons in hand and of course a party hat to accommodate.

Simone, Tom's mother, opened the door.

"Oh hi Y/N!!" She exclaimed grabbing the cake out my hands. I gave her hug and kiss on the cheek.

"How you been?" I asked, glancing at the living room littered in streamers and balloons.

"Great! Just finished setting up and waiting for Tom to get back from the liquor store."

"Eighteen!" I gasp, "how you feel?"

"I'm feeling so old!" She blurted putting her hand on her chest.

I followed her into the kitchen where Tom's mates Georg and Gustav were hanging out. Meanwhile, Georg frantically rummaged through the drawers and cabinets searching for batteries for the turntable set.

"Ah-ha!" Exclaimed Georg holding the batteries in the air. "Oh, hey Y/N" he realised me sitting there and ran over for a bear-hug.

"Hey Georg" I replied earning a quick glance from Gustav who was engrossed in setting up the party games.

He rushed over to the DJ set and starting playing some songs. Simone cringed at the music, quickly hurrying to the backyard before she heard the profanities.

I put down my present and placed the balloons in the corner.

"Where's all these friends Tom's been going on about?" I questioned.

Georg yelled over the music, "He's not having his party today."

I nodded, "So this is it?"

"Yeah, besides Shyla and Bill, they're still glamming up."

I heard a bang on the fly screen and walked to the door.

"Hey girlie" He smirked, leaning against the wall.

"Hey birthday boy." I grinned as I unlocked the door. "Ooh, a carton of Beer, think we grown don't we?"

Tom looked down at the box in his arms.

"Well I am eighteen." He remarked, placing the carton on the floor.

"Come here" He opened his arms and I walked toward his embrace, the smell of musky cologne lingering in my nose.

We kissed each other on the cheek.

"Long drive?" He questioned, picking up the box of alcohol.

"Nah, not too long, it was longer though considering I did drive by the city."

He nodded as I followed him to the kitchen.

Gustav walked up and patted Tom on the back "Happy Birthday Tommy."

"Thanks" he smiled.

At that the fly screen was banging again and there stood Shyla and Bill in their hands were bottles of wine and vodka, as well as a bag of logs.

The pair walked in and placed their drinks in the esky.

"I should get this fire started shouldn't I?" Said Shyla, heading outside with the bag of wood.

I grabbed the esky and wheeled it outside into the shed, inside was a German flag hung up, posters of playboy models, a beat up fridge, TV, pool table, random couches placed everywhere and a pop up table with plastic cups, ping pong balls and a ashtray.

Eveyone started walking inside the shed, Gustav started playing pool with Tom and Georg was setting up the DJ set in the room. Bill sat down and Shyla was still setting up the fire pit.

"Shame we didn't think of starting up the barbecue." Moaned Gustav.

"Always next time." Replied Tom, taking a sip of his beer.

I stood and watched the boys play pool and a sudden sharp pain went in my stomach.

I rushed to the bathroom and saw blood as I wiped myself.

"OH FOR FUCK SAKE!" I yelled in frustration.

"Hey you ok?" Called Gustav from behind the door.

"Uh yeah." I sighed "Can you get Shyla."

"Uh, yeah sure." At that I heard footsteps receding and after 5 minutes I heard Shyla's voice.

"What wrong Doll?" She asked concerned.

"You gotta plug?" I asked.

"No sorry babe, I just used them last week."

"Can you run to the chemist?" I asked.

"I'm sorry can't risked getting pulled over. Im over the alcohol limit."

I groaned.

"What about Bill?"

"He's had more drinks than me." She said hesitantly.

"Only Gustav is sober."

"Can you get him to grab me some tampons?" I pleaded.

"Okay Sweet." She replied.

After another 15 minutes Gustav came back from the deli down the coldersack, handing me the box of tampons.

"Thanks Gus." I called and went to open the box.

I held the tampon in my hand and scoffed. 'What the actual fuck.' I thought.

These were massive. I checked the box and saw 'extra heavy flow' written on the box.

I mentally cringed and struggled to get sorted. After all the chaos I sat back in the shed drinking beer while thanking Gustav for his hospitality.

The pain got worse and Tom told me to go and lay in his room if i needed to.

I walked in there and laid down in his bed, cudling in his sheets while I tried nap.

-

I woke up holding my stomach as if it would cure the sharp pain. I heard Music still playing outside and a eruption of laughter. Damn I wish these annoying ass cramps would go away.

The light suddenly flicked on and Tom walked in, reeking of alcohol and a cigarette hanging out his mouth, with a glass of water and packet of fresh panadol.

"Mum quickly popped by and dropped these off.."

I looked up at him

"Tell your Mum I said thanks" I smiled.

"Holy Shit!" He exclaimed "You're so pale."

"I'm sorry" I sighed. "I'll just go home, you shouldn't be looking after me on your birthday."

"No, no don't worry about it. You can stay the night if you wish."

"Thanks Kaulitz." I kissed his cheek and went to get up, putting my jumper back on.

Georg walked in with something in his hands.

"Sorry Tom I forgot to give you your best present." He grinned throwing about 50 condoms at Tom.

His eye went wide and I just laughed silently.

They were scattered everywhere with a label "extra small" scribbled onto them with a sharpie.

Tom frantically picked them up, trying to hide them although I already seen them.

He shot dirty looks at Georg as Georg bellowed with laughter.

"Enjoy Y/N!" He called walking away.

"She's on the fuckin rag!" Yelled Tom.

"And you got the wrong size!" He continued

"It's okay Tom you don't have to be embarrassed not everyone's long in the schlong." I joked to which his face went bright red.

[dogslosing]

let me know if i'm the only one but the way i used to bounce between different head spaces for my muses because (to me at least) they're all relatively different / speak in their own way is so much harder now and it takes me so much longer to congregate a thought like i can't just ping pong between each muse , i need to wait and eventually it'll come to me .... but ya'll , i don't have patience.

[katloveseverlark]

Aftermath

Peeta's POV Post Mockingjay WC: 1101

On bad days, days where my brain feels foggy and disoriented, I still struggle to make sense of what's real. Of what happened prior to everything before the Capitol; before the reaping; before Katniss Everdeen.

I still wake up in the same soft place as I always do, cocooned safety in a blanket with Katniss secured in my arms, but everything feels off. The vase is in the wrong place, the floor is sinking and the wind is wailing my name, just as the mutts was to Katniss in the sewers.

The sewers. Katniss.

Peeta, Peeta, the wind keeps wailing in the distance, begging to be let in and to suffocate me. I want to open the window, as the room suddenly feels clammy and I can distinctly feel a bead of sweat forming on my forehead, but my feet don't agree with my mind, keeping me cemented to the bed. It feels too soft now, as though it's drowning me, but I can't move. I can't get up.

To to avail, I try moving Katniss off of me so I can attempt to get up, but my arms are trembling and while she normally feels like a paperweight, now she feels like a ship on water. I'm sinking, aware that I'm gasping for air, trying to stay afloat.

She's trying to keep me down, maliciously pushing me under the deep, bottomless water. There's something on her face: a vicious smile. No, a smirk. I want to push her off, start screaming, because I need to get her off. I can't see anything other than her, so I try closing my eyes but I can't. Why won't it work? Please, make it stop, I silently beg.

I can hear screaming far away, what's happening to them? Who is it? The screams increase in volume, as if they're tormenting me because I can't reach them; I can't save them, because I can't even save myself. The agonising sound gets closer to me, but I'm still gasping for air while trying not to be submerged by the water. The cries are filled with pain, so, so much pain, while the owner sobs so hard that I feel my own body shaking. But then, my body can't be shaking? I'm drowning. Katniss is drowning me.

Peeta, Peeta, please, there's the wind again, wailing for me to let Katniss do her job. It's not real, Peeta. Please.

Not real? The wind's wails and the not so distant cries reverberate around my head like a ping-pong ball.

Not real, Peeta. It's not real. Katniss?

I blink once. Twice. Three times, and the water starts to evaporate. Four times, and the cries dial down. Five, and the malicious Katniss transforms into a familiar face. Six, and there's rain? No, not rain, tears. Katniss's tears. My tears. Both of our tears mingled together on my cheeks, a sign of how broken we both are.

It takes a moment to adjust to where I am, still in bed but not safely wrapped up anymore, with the sheets tangled around my legs like vines, while I focus on Katniss's words the best I can.

We're sat up now, although I don't know when that happened, and while the floor is still dropping like I'm on an elevator and spinning like a merry-go-round, my head is no longer spinning like it was before. There's a rough, yet soft hand on my bare back, rubbing in slow, soothing circles. It feels nice, and not at all threatening despite the Katniss in my dream.

I realise that my breathing is still insanely laboured when I hear Katniss say, "breathe. You're okay, it wasn't real."

I try and listen to her while taking deep breaths, but in the end I just end up crying harder than before (if that's even possible), so Katniss guides my head to rest in her lap.

"You're okay," she repeats softly, beginning to card her cold fingers through my hair, untangling all the small knots, "do you want to talk about it?"

Without hesitation, I shake my head 'no'. Sometimes it can help, but tonight neither of us will benefit from discussing this out loud. I don't want to relive the nightmare in my head, and I don't want Katniss to think that I still see her as a threat, because I don't.

My eyes slip shut as I focus on the way her hands feel in my hair, smoothing it off of my forehead from where it's stuck there. If this was 4 years ago, when we were 18, I wouldn't have been this calm over a nightmare about Katniss. I wouldn't have been able to see her as not a threat, although I wasn't a threat to her anymore. So, I rejoice in the fact that she can calm me now.

After a while, I feel her cool lips press a soft kiss to my forehead, and lean into her while sleep threatens to take me. My eyes feel dry and scratchy, undoubtedly swollen, but at least I'm not crying anymore. Now that the tears and harsh sobs have stopped, exhaustion takes over my whole being. I could sleep here, laying in her lap, without complaint, but eventually we end up laying face to face again.

But I don't mind this, either, when I can study her face like I'm stargazing, admiring all of her, digesting the fact that she's here, I'm here, we survived and I'm so happy to be able to sleep beside the person I love.

I reach out a hand to tuck a strand of stray hair behind her ears before pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "Thank you," I say.

"I didn't do anything, Peeta–"

I cut her off, silencing her with yet another kiss. "Thank you for being here with me. I love you."

"I love you, too," she smiles as she says it, equally loving to say those three words as much as I do, "thank you for never giving up on me."

"I would never, and I can say the same to you."

She doesn't say anything more, she just curls up against me in her usual position with her head on my chest, right over my beating heart, and her leg wrapped around mine.

When I fall asleep, I feel safe. The nightmares will inevitably come, they will still attempt to rip me to pieces, but I know that as long as I have Katniss, I'll be okay. We'll be okay, and I'll love her always.

[starl1t-vo1d]

WIP - Taz - Cannon divergent in wonderland

Taako took a deep breath. Fuck man things were not going good. He stared at Magnus -or rather Magnus' body- and racked his brain for an idea. Forget the bell they just had to survive at this point. There had to be a way to get them out. 

"Well boys what do you say? Doesn't staying here sound like a good time?" Edward asked.

Merle started to speak but Taako waved a hand to silence him. 

"You know what? It kinda does, but there's a bit of a problem my man."

Edward arched Magnus' eyebrow, "and that would be?"

"That body just does not suit you at all." Taako shook his head and pretended it didn't hurt. "Tell you what, you give my friend his body back and," he pointed to Merle, "you let them go. In exchange you get me." 

"Taako! You can't-"

"Merle shut up I'm literally trying to save you right now."

Edward looked at Lydia and the pair seemed to consider his offer.

"What makes you so desirable?" Lydia asked. "What do we have to gain from this deal?" 

"Uh hello? I'm Taako, ya know from TV? You don't think somebody's greatest wish is to meet me?"

"We could easily make a fake if that was the case."

"Oh really? You think you could pull that off? Hun you can't fake this," Taako waved a hand down his body. “Besides I'm like a dope chef if y'all eat or whatever. 

The twins whispered together for longer than Taako would have liked. Dread crept into his stomach at the thought of them rejecting the deal. More crept in at the thought of them accepting.

"Look what you've seen me do here is only a fraction of my power!" Talk, convince them, make yourself seem desirable. "I'm a great chef but I'm an even greater wizard," Taako waved his umbrastaff. "I have one of these, have you ever seen one? They're like hella rare."

"Taako what are you doing?" Merle stepped in front of the elf trying to keep him from moving forward. Taako hadn't realized he'd been approaching the twins. "There's gotta be another way, surely you've got a spell you can use- I can think of something!" 

"I've got nothing Merle," Taako didn't look down at him, only stepped around. If he looked there was a chance his resolve would break, a chance he'd call off the deal and they'd find another way to run. 

He didn't want to run this time.

--------------------‐

Tee hee This is actually mostly a Kravitz centric fic! Well sorta it ping pongs povs every few chapters. For a good reason though! It follows two groups through wonderland and then taako

[grimgrinningghoul]

Been a bit, gonna put some random Underdog AU headcanons under the cut

Ghost sense is not a halfa ability, but an ability that comes with the territory of extended exposure to liminality. Ergo, anyone who’s born in or spends a significant amount of time (several years, potentially decades) in a liminal space will be more in tune with the paranormal. Amity Park is a prime example of this.

People often clear out preemptively as a result, giving Danny better opportunities to transform before and during ghost attacks.

Sam’s family moved to Amity Park roughly 2 years before the Accident took place, so she doesn’t have a ghost sense.

Natural portals are constantly forming in and around Amity Park, most of which are small and temporary. Rumor has it that there’s a large one that never closes somewhere in the trees, near the cemetery.

If you go into the woods, stick to the paths, and watch your step.

Ghosts are imperceptible by default in the human world, and have to choose to be perceived otherwise. For an average ghost, it takes about as much effort as holding your hand in a fist.

Due to the in-between state of halfas, their default fluctuates, resulting in Danny’s random power malfunctions. It can be honed over time, but takes more effort than a full ghost.

Alongside intangibility and invisibility, this also includes inaudibility. Both Danny and Vlad have gone seemingly mute in the past as a result.

Some classic ghost “hunting” methods can be used to detect the imperceptible, such as night vision cameras and spirit boxes.

Tucker coined the name “Ghost Zone” when the Fentons were explaining their theory and goals prior to building the portal. They liked how straight forward it was and ran with it.

The Ghost Zone doesn’t have a true name.

Lots of ghosts have their own personal name for it, but the general consensus is to refer to it as The Realms.

There are two general entity types: Ghosts and Specters.

Ghosts are the standard postmortem soul, fueled by Passion. Often very similar, if not identical to their previous lives in terms of identity. The term “afterlife” can be pretty literally applied to ghosts, as it’s simply life after death for many.

Specters are Something Else.

[alexismusictrek]

Summary: FANFICTION/STAR TREK:VOYAGER

A bit of a fix for “Fair Haven”.

Dialogue borrowed (and subsequently modified) for continuity.

I own nothing. Paramount is king.

FICTOBER: “I swear, it’s not always like this.”WHUMPTOBER: “Just keep swimming.”

=/\=

“Tell me what happened.” The Doctor whispered as they moved down the corridor.

“Well, you know the story. Girl meets boy, girl modifies boy's subroutines.”

“Did you have intimate relations?”

“That's none of your business. Let's just say it was a memorable three days.”

“I don't see the problem.”

“Don't you? Michael Sullivan is exactly my type. Attractive, intelligent. We share the same interests.”

“So he’s the Irish equivalent of Commander Chakotay.”

Kathryn stopped on a dime, pulling the hologram into the nearest junction. “How dare you, Doctor? My personal life is not a shipwide topic for discussion.”

“You see what you did there?”

“What?”

“Not an ounce of denial of how you feel about him. Your trepidation is understandable, but you're a captain in an unprecedented situation. So you shouldn’t have a relationship with a member of your crew? They're all your subordinates. Where does that leave you? The occasional dalliance with a passing alien?”

“He's my first officer.”

“And?”

“Starfleet regulat...”

The Doctor knew he was risking his program, but he interrupted her regardless. “Voyager could be in the Delta Quadrant for a very long time. If you won’t let the woman behind the captain free, a hologram may be the only logical alternative if you choose to cling to protocol.”

“I just can't be sure that the crew or Starfleet will understand.”

“I doubt after everything this family has been through, it could possibly happen but isn’t your happiness more important than a court-martial that may never come?”

“There’s no way he still has any feelings for me.”

“You’ve held out this long, why wouldn’t he? There are only so many possible outcomes and only one way to find out.”

“I've never been afraid of taking risks.”

“Then perhaps, instead of heading to the holodeck you should go to your quarters, leave the captain there for a while, and simply walk next door.”

As the hologram walked away from her, she stood still briefly, his words bouncing around in her head like ping-pong balls. Had she been hiding behind her sacred invisible rules all this time?

**

Back on deck three, Kathryn wandered around her private space, like a lost puppy. One minute she thought of Michael, and the next Chakotay. The longer she thought, the more she realized that beyond appearances, they were the same man. Remembering the feeling she had when he’d walked up on her with Michael in Fair Haven, a cold chill ran up and down her spine. At the moment she’d chalked up her embarrassment to feeling silly in a costume, and being caught flirting with a hologram. But now she knew the real reason. Kathryn felt like she was cheating on him. A tear slipped down her cheek at the thought of his sweet face, and the words he’d used to reassure her later.

It was nice to see you having a little fun.

“Could he still have any feelings for me?” She voiced out loud to herself.

Something in her suddenly shifted, and she turned heading for the bedroom. If she was going to do this, it had to be now, before her stubborn mind talked her out of it.

**

As the doors of her quarters swished open, Kathryn took a deep cleansing breath and forced herself to move. Her heart raced, and emotion clung very closely to the back of her eyes. Taking the five steps to Chakotay’s door was the hardest and yet most personally important thing she had ever done. She rang his chime with her trembling hand and waited. He answered the door, pulling a plain white tee shirt over his head. The fleeting glimpse she caught of his bronze chest, almost knocked her off her feet.

“Captain, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“Of course not, there is no bad time for you. Please come in.”

She grinned a lopsided grin at his cheekiness and walked past as he stepped back to let her enter.

“Can I get you some coffee?” He asked as she perched herself on the edge of his couch.

“Actually, would you make me one of your herbal tea blends?”

Chakotay knew instantly something was going on. There had only been a handful of times in six years that she’d asked him for tea, and it was rarely something good.

“Sure, which one would you like?”

“Something to help me relax.”

He quickly worked the replicator, ordering them both a cup of blend forty-three. It always helped him to settle himself for his vision quests, so he thought it the perfect remedy. Placing the warm mug in her hands, he sat down next to her on the sofa.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Kathryn.”

“What makes you think something is wrong?”

“Besides the fact that I know you?”

“Yes.”

“Hmm, where to begin?” He smiled at her.

“Okay, okay.” She weakly smiled back, knowing she was about to tell a half-truth. “I can’t say something is wrong really, it's more of a quandary of sorts.”

“So spill, let me help.”

Kathryn quickly set down her tea on the table in front of her, and stood to pace, just as she had been in her own quarters. She kept her back turned to him, as she began to speak.

“Micheal Sullivan…”

“Your hologram?”

“Yes... no...yes. I mean he’s not mine, he’s a part of the program, and... “ she paused again.

“It’s pretty easy to see how much you like him, Kathryn.”

She turned back with a force and returned to the spot next to him. “It’s more than that.”

“You love him then?” Chakotay’s face fell the slightest bit, invisible to anyone else, but glaring to the woman next to him.

“I do. But not everything is as it appears to be.”

His heart was breaking, but he pushed on for her. “Love is love, and you deserve all of it you can find.”

Kathryn choked back her brimming emotion. “There’s something you need to know.”

“You don’t have to justify your decisions to me. You know that I’m always here to support you no matter what.”

“I do, and that’s why I had to come here.” A single tear broke free.

“Kathryn, I saw how radiant you were on the holodeck, in the sunshine, with Michael Sullivan. I know it's not been easy out here, and you have suffered more than any of us. I want you to be happy, okay?”

“You don’t understand.”

“What?”

“You noticed how I modified him, right?”

“I did.”

“But did you really?”

“I think so, why?”

“Because if I had called for the computer to delete him and stood you in his place, there would have been no difference.”

Chakotay’s forehead wrinkled. “But…”

“Yes Chakotay, I had programmed him to be you.”

“What are you saying, Kathryn?”

“Something I probably shouldn’t, but I find now that I have to. It’s you, and it’s been you all along.”

His face contorted, and his brow wrinkled, not believing what he was hearing.

“I doubted from the moment I realized what I was doing, that you could feel anything for me, but I had to try.”

“Oh, Kathryn.”

“It’s alright, Chakotay. I didn't expect anything, I just had to talk to you.” Her tears now fell unbidden, and she hung her head.

Without a sound, he slid over, bringing his body right alongside hers. This woman, the gorgeous, tough, impenetrable Captain, was finally letting her true self be free. Chakotay had no idea how to proceed, he only knew he wanted to. “What about protocols?” He put an arm around her shoulders and used his free hand to lift her face to look at him.

“I’ve been using them to hide.”

“Why is that?”

“I honestly don’t know, but looking at my relationship history, I think I’m just bad luck.”

“Listen to me, Kathryn. I’ve loved you since the moment I laid eyes on you, and I’m still here.”

She started to respond, but then his words sunk into her consciousness. “You, what?”

“You heard me right. And if living with me for three months on our own personal planet wasn’t enough, I don’t know what is. There is not a single moment of any day that passes, where I’m not thinking of you, trying my best to protect you, pushing to keep my promise to carry your burdens.”

“You’ve always kept that promise, even when I’m at my most stubborn.”

“So you see, I do love you, and I always have. I’ve just kept it locked away in the most sacred corner of my heart, hoping that one day you’d come looking for it.”

A choked sob fell from her lips. “I can’t not say it anymore, Chakotay. I love you. There have been so many days and nights that all I’ve dreamed of is being back on that planet with you.”

“Since we can’t get that back, why can’t we make our home here?”

“I want to, but what’s to keep you from disappearing on me too?”

“I don’t have an answer for that, but those are the risks in life we take. If we don’t, we run the risk of missing out on all that this existence has to offer. I know losing Justin and Mark was painful, but it put us together, and perhaps we can find the good in it.”

“What if I need time?”

“That’s the one thing we have plenty of out here. There is no set in stone rule book, we can make our relationship whatever we want it to be.”

“And what about the crew?”

“They already think we’re married anyway.” He laughed.

“No, they do not.”

“Oh, just ask Tom Paris and all his betting cronies.”

Finally, a smile returned to her face. “Chakotay, I’m not sure where we go from here, all I know is that I need you with me.”

“I’ve always been with you, and I always will.”

“Out there you have, but now I need you with me here.” She patted the palm of her hand over his heart.

He took her words for the longing that they were, and gently raising her face to meet his, he placed his warm full lips onto her coffee-colored mouth. He too had no idea where they would go from this moment, but right now as the electricity of their disinterred love swept the room, none of that mattered. From this point forward, they would truly make the journey together.

[arminbitchlover]

reincarnated lovers (2)

armin arlert x f! reader

summary: after a terrible first date with armin, sasha convices reader to go out to a party but only to have an unexpected turn of events

word count: 2.8k

content warnings: mentions of drug use, alcohol use, assault is insinuated but doesn't actually happen

"YOU LOOK SOOO GOOD," Sasha squeals as you show her your outfit, making your confidence boost significantly.

"YOU TOO, YOU'RE SO HOT FOR NO REASON!" You both keep showering each other with confidence, not caring if your neighbors could hear you shouting.

You don't understand why you're suddenly filled with anticipation to go to some frat house that would be filled with strangers and smell like alcohol and weed, but you not troubled enough to even question it. All you know is that this is your first party as a freshman, and you want to make the most out of it with your best friend.

"So, who's going that you know anyways?" You glance at Sasha through your mirror as you apply lip gloss.

"Too many to count honestly and not to alarm you or anything but Jean will be there too." Sasha reluctantly spoke as you feel your heart drop to your stomach.

You completely forgot that Jean was a part of Sasha's friend group and now you're going to see him for the very first time since your breakup.

"Y/n?" Sasha waves her hand in front of your face and snaps you out of your deep thoughts.

"Sorry, but thanks for telling me." You shake your head as you try to not lose your train of thought again.

You and Sasha finish up on your final touches and make your way to the party as you feel your stomach flipping and hands slightly shake. Every time you start to tell yourself that Jean was just a friend now, you get flashbacks of everything you did as a couple, but you're going to let some guy ruin your first night out in college.

It doesn't take long to arrive and fuck, it didn't take long for the feelings of regret, nervousness, and panic to sink in. When you first arrive, people were already drunk in the front yard as couples made out the staircase leading to the front door. Immediately when opening the door, the bass from the speakers maakes your whole body vibrate with the music and your eyes strain from all the lights that were being cast across the house.

The whole place is already trashed with cups, plates, and different articles of clothing are scattered across the floor. You've always heard about how wild college parties can be, but you didn't expect something as crazed as this.

You turn to Sasha and see her talking to you but could only read her lips that make out, "I'm... drink," and walk away to the kitchen.

Well, shit.

You awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, not recognizing a single person until you feel a hand clasp your shoulder and pull you to a corner.

"Heya, gorgeousss, name's Flochhh..." A drunk man with auburn hair presses you against the wall as he tries to make conversation with you.

"S-Sorry, but I have to go." You try to get away from him only to have your arm get pulled back to the wall.

"Fucking let me go!" You fight to yank your arm away but don't have enough strength to succeed.

"Buttt I wantss to get chu know you babyyy." He leans in, trying to get your faces closer together, but luckily you dodge him quick enough to get out of his grasp.

"Watchu doinn- runninnn from me." He grasps your hand, but right when you were about to get pinned back against the wall again, you hear a stern voice.

"Get your hands off of her." You and Floch turn and see Armin, but this time with slightly smudged eyeliner with a long black sleeve that's complemented with a necklace and silver rings on both of his hands.

"Huhhh-," Floch slurs, finally letting go of you and confronting Armin.

Armin takes a step back with his hands in his pockets, not wanting to cause any issues, and lightly asserts, "This is my lovely girlfriend, so I would appreciate it if you would just back off, that's all."

Armin walkes up to you and wraps his arm around your waist as Floch's face becomes filled with complete disgust.

"So if you'll excuse us, we'll be getting out of your way so you can get as shitfaced as you like." He smirks at Floch and pulls you away, his hand still clutching your waist.

As he takes you away, you immediately notice how his arm feels so natural around you, like it was meant to be there which causes your heartbeat to quicken.

You only see him as the boy you went on an awkward date with, why did he suddenly make you feel this way?

"Thank you for your help, Armin." You bring your hand to the one that was resting on your waist and squeeze it to show your gratitude.

"I was only doing the bare minimum, no need to thank me." He tenderly looks into your eyes with compassion, not aware that he never let go of your waist.

"Well, what were you doing here anyway, you didn't catch me as the party type." You playfully joke as he grabs your arm and enters a large crowd that's dancing to music.

He turns to face you and tilts his head towards your ear to answer, "I heard you were coming, and I wanted to talk to you."

He grabs you by the waist and starts moving to the beat of the song to follow along with everyone surrounding you.

You feel your face start to heat up, finding it so attractive the way he leaned in to talk to you. He's a completely different person from the guy you went out with. This time he seems so much more confident by the way he holds you, speaks to you, and his fashion did a complete 180.

"Well, what's up?" You gain enough courage to wrap your arms around his neck and move your body with his.

You both move completely in sync forgetting for a second that you weren't the only two people in the room. You feel yourself start to get more butterflies as he maintains eye contact with you and slowly pulls you closer and closer. Before you know it, you have the biggest smile on your face as you have the time of your life with Armin.

This is what you've been missing out on, while you had been locked up in your dorm, exhausting yourself with no sign of ending. While Sasha's the one who made you come out of your comfort zone, Armin's the one who making you enjoy yourself the most and you love the idea of that. You love knowing that there's a person who could actually make you a better person and still make you feel comfortable while being alone with him.

"I don't really know how to explain this, but-"

"Y/N!!" Sasha pushes her way into the crowd and finds you and Armin with your bodies only centimeters apart, but seemingly didn't notice the tension between the two of you.

"Armin, I told you to find her and come to the game room!" She scolds Armin and pulls him away from you, making you feel a bit upset that you're not able to be alone with him a bit longer.

She takes you and Armin to another room that you assume were their friends because as soon as they enter, they're greeted with open arms. You immediately notice a small blonde girl and a tall brunette with freckles sitting together on a love seat and you have to admit that they make such a great couple. Sasha introduces you to everyone in the room and while it was pretty packed, it's easy to memorize who everyone is given that Sasha has mentioned them many times before.

Before you had the chance to settle in with everyone you see Connie get out of his seat and clear his throat very loudly to make an announcement.

"I think that it's only fair, since y/n is the newbie of the group, to play a 2v2 intense game of beer pong between me and Jean." Connie widely grins as everyone agrees and starts rioting.

"I heard my name." Jean abruptly enters, at first not noticing that you're in the same room.

"Well, I don't have a partner to play with so-" You feel a bit of shame while speaking but are quickly interrupted.

"I'll play with y/n," Armin speaks up and everyone gets louder, becoming enraptured as if this is the biggest game in history.

"Let's fucking go then." Jean locks eyes with you for a split second before talking to Connie.

You have to admit, while Jean looks like he's taking good care of himself, you don't feel the butterflies and tension that you thought you would. Maybe you're just overthinking everything because he's your first love, but you figure that maybe something would be left for him. You look back at Jean making sure you don't feel anything, but when you turn to face Armin. Butterflies. Even if it was just a tiny bit, something was there.

For him.

"You guys got this, I mean no offense to the other two, but they're either high, tipsy, or a bit of both." Eren walks up to you two as he chuckles and rubs the back of his neck.

"I've never played this before, so we'll see." You look down, afraid that Eren or Armin would judge you in some way.

"Neither has Armin, he always watches other people play, but I'm pretty surprised he volunteered himself. So, I'm guessing that your first date went pretty well today." Eren playfully nudges Armin as his face turns into a very light pink.

"Um, yeah it was pretty alright," You reply and smile at Armin, even though you both knew that your date was anything but 'alright'.

"Okay, it's set up, you guys can start whenever," Mikasa speaks with a complete monotone voice as she takes a seat back down next to Historia and Ymir.

You and Armin walk to your side of the table as Connie and Jean do the same, while everyone stands around the two teams ready to start their ear-piercing shouts. You start to feel a bit of pressure right before the game started, anxious that you'll make yourself look like a fool if you don't at least make a single cup.

"We'll give Armin the first shot." Connie cockily smirks and bounces the ping pong ball across the table.

Armin grabs the ball with his fingertips and starts calculating the way he would throw the ball. You have to admit, he looked absolutely adorable while concentrating on making it into the cup. You figure that maybe he thinks the same as you, not wanting to embarrass himself, but he looks so relaxed at the same time. After a few more seconds of critical thinking, he carefully throws the ball and makes it perfectly into the middle cup.

Expectedly, everyone starts screaming, jumping up and down, while some people grab Armin and shake him profusely as their excitement shoots through the roof. You can't help but feel thrilled for him as well, and right when his friends get their hands off of Armin, you wrap your arm around his neck and bring him in for a tight hug. You immediately pull away, unsure if he's uncomfortable being hugged by someone he barely knows, but when you take a step back you see his eyes light up with a small smile.

"Cut it out, love birds. It's my shot," Jean shoots Armin a snarky look and chugs the shot. He wasn't concentrating as much as Armin was, probably because he's played this game many times before, and to your surprise, he recklessly tosses the ball and makes a spiral dunk into the cup at the front of the formation.

"GOOD SHIT, JEAN!" Connie aggressively smacks Jean's back, causing him to jump forward and knock down two cups in the back row.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Connie?" Jean hits the back of Connie's head and they both drink whatever liquid was left in the cup and takes them out of the formation.

You look at the cup that has the ball in and right when you're about to take the shot, Armin swiftly takes it out of your grasp and drinks it as if it's water.

At this point, everyone was making fun of Connie's fuck up and cheering on Armin for chugging the shot like nothing while you're panicking in your thoughts, begging yourself not to make a foot out of yourself.

"Here." Armin hands you the ball and you feel your anxiety kick in as everyone's focus goes directly to you.

You feel your fingertips lightly quiver as you begin to aim the ball into the last cup in the back. Predictably, the ball hits the rim of the cup and doesn't make it in, but Armin still whispers to you a few words of encouragement as Marco picks up the ball from the floor and hands it to Connie. The game continues and luckily you and Armin win because of the two cups Jean knocked down, so while you and Armin are a bit tipsy, the others are completely plastered.

"This... nngh - bullshizz..." Connie clumsily walks over to you and hooks his arm around your neck, somewhat pulling you down while speaking to you.

"Alright, enough." Armin pulls Connie's arm away from you and takes you out of the room, before getting the chance to say bye to anyone.

"Armin-" He leads you to an empty room and doesn't hesitate to lock the door behind him.

"Please, let me talk, I've been waiting all night." Armin pulls you to the edge of the bed and slowly sits down as he tries to figure out how to come out with his news. You gently place your hand on top of his and give it a gentle squeeze, reassuring him.

While you did have a feeling about what he'a going to say, you don't want to jinx anything too good to be true. Even though when you first met Armin it wasn't the greatest first impression, spending time with him at the party made you realize that he's so much more than the awkward guy you went out with. You don't understand how your feelings for him switched up so fast in a matter of a day, but you don't care. At this point, Jean's completely out of the picture and something in you is telling yourself that there's something really special about Armin.

“So, um basically I just want to apologize for everything that happened earlier at the café. I-It’s just that you’re the first girl I’ve ever taken out and I didn’t want to fuck up, but I did absolutely everything wrong. It didn’t help how Sasha was talking so highly of you and god, when I saw your pictures, I thought you were the most perfect person I ever laid my eyes on. Then when I saw you, something in me just clicked that you were meant to be mine and I’m not one to believe in that love at first sight bullshit, so I didn’t know what to do. I just nervous and I didn't know what to do. I knew you were and still are way out of my league even though I felt like you were my person, but I didn't want to mess it up, so I tried to be distant to make it go away and I realized how fucking stupid that was. I'm so sorry for wasting your time and I was hoping we could have a second chance at a first date again to make it up to you." He has such a pained but relieved look on his face when he finishes talking, not looking at you, afraid that he may have done something that he would regret.

"I would actually love that, Armin." You exchange smiles and both stare at each other for a second in comfortable silence.

"Well, let's go then."He stands up and brings out his hand to yours.

"Wait what?" You give him a confused look as you place your hand in his and get up from the bed.

"Are you tired or something?" He furrows his eyebrows with a bit of a pouty face.

"No, not at all." You intertwine your fingers with his and make your way out of the frat house, forgetting say goodbye to anyone.

"So, where are you taking me so late at night?" You ask and turn to look at him to see a small smile plaster on his face.

"I was hoping I could take you back to my apartment to make us a proper meal after all that partying." You feel your heart pounding against your chest as he has the most genuine look in his eyes.

"Absolutely."

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[god-save-the-keen]

Luke Danes, the most perfect man, propmt list!

1. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm great. It's big, fat, happy sunshine day for me."

2. "Name, are you a gigolo?"

3. "Ever worry that if a bird flies into your head it might never get out?"

4. "My life meant nothing until you used my toothbrush."

5. "Will you just stand still?" *Kiss her/him*

6. "Name, this thing we're doing here, me, you, I'm in. I am all in."

7. "And it's so good to have someone to share this hate with."

8. "Are trying to kill me?" *Losing his/her patience.*

9. "I just like to see you happy."

10. "When you make plans, then you have expectations, and when you have expectations, they… you will get disappointed."

11. "You know my father always told me that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger." "You're gonna be really strong."

12. "Have you seen Name1 or Name2?" "No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be."

13. "On the verge of blubbering here." "Not doing too well myself." "Not you, too." "I'm blubbering. You're freaks!"

14. "Name, what is it exactly that you want me to do? I'm not mad, I'm not holding a grudge, I heard your apology, I feel I'm being polite, I listened to your donut bit, I got you your coffee. What would make you happy?"

15. "Go to hell!" "Right back at ya!"

16. "You ate that?" "No, I didn't eat it!" "Oh, of course." "I'm upset not suicidal!"

17. "He's systematically buying up the town. He's gonna turn it into Nameville, where everyone will have to wear cardigans and have the same grass height!"

18. *About a messy room* "I'm having nightmares where I'm being chased by boxes with arms and they tackle me and throw clothes on top of me and secure it with masking tape and while I'm lying there, you're standing in the corner laughing putting gel in your hair!"

19. "You know what?" "What?" "This is nice."

20. "We should have eaten before we came." "Shh! And, yeah."

21. "Name1, this is Name2. She/He owns the Independence Inn." "Oh." "That's "hello, nice to meet you" in slacker."

22. "So are you going to act?" "Yes, I am. I'm going to act like you never came in here."

23. "That's it, gets upstairs and change." "Whatever you say, Uncle/Aunt Name." "It's Name. Just Name. Mister Name. In fact, don't address me at all!"

24. "You're really just gonna stand there and watch me eat a Danish?" "Cable's out. I'm starved for entertainment."

25. "Me? Raising a kid? I don't even like kids. They're always sticky like they've got jam on their hands. Even if there's no jam in the house, somehow, they've always got jam on their hands! I'm not the right guy to deal with that. I have no patience for jam hands!"

26. "That's what you want?" "Yes." "That's really what you want?" "Yes!" "You got it." "Thank you!" "You're welcome!" *As they cross over a bridge, Person1 pushes Person 2 into the water.*

27. "Can I ask you stupid questions?" "There's no such thing." *Frustrated* "How does the ink come out of pens?!" "Okay, there is such a thing."

28. "I think you can hack anything."

29. "I guess if you can find that one person, you know, who's willing to put up with all your crap and doesn't want to change you or dress you, or you know, make you eat French food, then marriage can be all right...but that's only if you find that person."

30. "Crazy people. The whole town should be medicated and put in a rec room with ping-pong tables and hand puppets."

31. "Doesn't matter what time it is. I'll always be around."

32. "I warned him/her. I warned him/her when I first met him/her, if he hurt her/him...Ah. Maybe I could key his/her car." "Better yet. Key Name1's car and tell him/her Name2 did it."

33. "Get away from me you mental patient!"

34. "Is this bothering you?" "This conversation? Yes."

35. "I hate that he/she's pleased."

36. "Hamsters can't laugh." "Oh, this one laughed - trust me."

37. "Your mother called me an idiot."

38. "C'mon, you gotta think positive here. Bright side, good thoughts. Rainbows, unicorns. *slowing down* Clowns. *Pause* Little ... cute ... *Longer pause*... furry ... *Giving up* Okay, I'm out."

39. "I can't imagine anyone seeing you as a disappointment."

40. "That's the wrong table." "Since when is there a right table?" "Since the coffee cake I baked for you and the stupid balloons I blew up for you are at that table over there."

41. "Will you marry me?" "What?!" "Just...looking for something to shut you up."

42. "This is not an herbal tea morning. This is a coffee morning." "Every morning for you is a coffee morning."

43. "It's like my life isn't even real to me, unless you're there, and you're in it, and I'm sharing it with you."

44. "I never thought in my wildest dreams that it would happen, that you and me would happen. But we did it."

45. "Don’t add stuff from your to do list to my to do list."

46. "You wanted something festive." "You made me a Santa burger." "It's not a big deal."

47. "The only way out of this life is in a body bag."

48. "Listen, I know I'm not the easiest guy/girl in the world to build a life with and to share a house with, but there is no one who will be more here for you than me. I will never leave. I will never think about leaving."

49. "You won't have to hear my opinion on anything ever again, okay?" "Oh, don't tease."

50. "The things you find amusing astound me sometimes."

51. "Wow, I feel important." "You are important."

52. "Last time you gathered up some of my stuff, you accidentally brought me four bras/brief and no pants." "That could've been intentional."

53. "God, that's terrible! It's like drinking 'My little pony'!"

54. "We kissed." "I remember." "It was a great kiss." "Yeah." "So you concur?" "Dear god, yes."

55. "All you need is six dancing penguins and Mary Poppins floating in the corner--" "--to bring back two of the worst hours of my childhood!"

56. "An ice rink? How did this happen?" "Jack Frost brought it." "Did he look like Name Lastname?" "A little. Not as handsome/gorgeous."

57. "Your slave is here." "And where's the french maid outfit?" "I've got it under the plaid."

58. "You kept this in your wallet." "Eight years."

59. *Awkwardly grabbing the another person's head* "I'm not good at hugging."

60. "I'm prepared to jump up and down if necessary."

61. "I can be a movie guy/girl. You like movies."

62. "You're watching me watch the movie. It's creepy."

63. "I shouldn't have gotten into a business that involves dealing with people."

64. "It just my favorite time of the year. The whole world changes color." "I think I'm blacking out."

65. "Keeping tabs on me?" "Always safer to know which direction the tornado's coming from "

66. "Fresh coffee will be ready in a minute unless you want to just roll up a dollar bill and go nuts."

67. "What the hell was that?"

68. "The only bright side of my day is being asked to be a prostitute." "That's something to cling to."

69. "What? Relationships? Look who you're asking."

70. "You enjoy typing to people more than talking to them?"

Use it, shared them, ask for a request, have fun! ❣️

[roses-and-sugar-suicide]

My Life Is Messed Up.

I was chillin watchin anime in my room, when my baby brother's nanny came in crying with the baby sleeping. I was so confused and asked her why. She told me that it was because my brother kept on going to fridge, eating a lot of snacks, then came to my parents' room where my baby brother and his nanny was.

And when his nanny came and asked him why he kept on eating so much snacks, he THREW a bottle of my mom's pills to the baby brother's nanny. Now you see, my brother is very athletic even though he's 10; he played ping pong and tennis every once in a while.

Back to the story, she tried catching it but it got hit in her eye; my baby brother got hit by the bottle at the back of his head. I'm not sure of what happened after that, she didn't tell me. When I tried asking my brother's nanny, she said the exact same thing except for the fact that the bottle didn't hit my baby brother's head.

I was like, "But since the baby's nanny was the one carrying the baby, don't you think that she would feel him getting hit? like maybe you looked at it in a different angle??? I mean, wasn't it her that got hit?" But my brother's nanny, being the biased Bitch she is, defended my brother, saying that 𝗜 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗵𝗶𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗯𝗿𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗶𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝘀𝗻𝗶𝘁𝗰𝗵.

me:

me:

me:

"what the actually fuck-"

like, seriously, what the acrually fuck. I'm just trying to be reasonable, and she goes out here, telling everyone to shut the fuck up, and defend the person, who not only throws a bottle of expensive medical pills, but ALSO throws it to someone, AND NOT ONLY THAT he also AIMS it towards her EYES..

I had recorded both of their reasonings on my phone, and I did the same with my brother. But the worse thing was, that he DIDN'T REGRET it. HE DIDN'T REGRET THROWING THE BOTTLE OF PILLS TO THE NANNY. Seriously, and this isn't the first time ever. It's like, he wants things to ho HIS WAY. And if we don't listen to him, he would throw a tantrum.

I sent the recordings to my parents and the evidence too(they work full time). They told me that they would discuss this with my brother and the two nannies at night. I was like, "Good...because I swear to god if this holds out any longer, I'm this close to blowing up and beating up my pillow."

I could tell by the words they chose that they're afraid of what happened to my baby brother. We may never know the truth, but all I know is that the nanny got hit in the eye by a bottle of pills. I'm probably gonna update this later.

[captainkippen]

SEND ME FIC PROMPTS

Cyrus and TJ's relationship can be described as ‘almost-something-not-quite-there-yet” and has been at that stage for a rather frustrating six months. He's not sure why it's taking them so long to do about it, but Cyrus is certain that TJ must have also acknowledged the tension between them because there have been a few near misses so far where he's thought 'this is iT, he's going to tell me how it feels’ only for TJ to break off what he was saying and turn it into some unrelated ramble. Thanks to this, it's becoming more and more common for him to feel like he's about to tear his hair out when the two of them spend time together. He doesn't want to push TJ to do or say anything he's not ready to do or say, but Cyrus figures it's time to take matters into his own hands or they might actually be stuck at this glacial pace of romance for the next fifty years. He doesn't think he can take fifty years of longing looks and heartfelt texts that lead to nothing. He'll go insane.

The opportunity to make a move arises when Bex and Bowie finally settle on the date of their wedding. At first there's a little hesitation, the engagement has been called off and called back on more than once now and they're all starting to wonder if they'll actually ever do it, but when it's only about a month away Cyrus figures they're finally safe from any drama and starts concocting a plan.

“I need to book dance lessons,” he says offhandedly when they're all lazing around Buffy's house one day. He's sprawled dramatically across one of the couches with his feet up on TJ's lap and a bowl of popcorn on his chest. It's a movie day but the horror flick they're watching is so terrible that nobody's been paying attention for the last forty five minutes. “For the wedding. There's going to be waltzing, right? I don't know how to waltz. Andi, do you know where Bowie's getting his?”

Andi eyes him suspiciously. She's well aware that Cyrus knows how to waltz. He had taught her to waltz when they were twelve. His mom had made him have lessons as a kid. Cyrus is fantastic at waltzing, even if he does say so himself. However, TJ doesn't know that. He gives her a look that says 'play along I'm begging you've and she sighs.

“At the dance studio on second street, I think,” she says. He's so blessed to have such good friends. “Bex knows one of the girls that runs it so she's giving him a discount.”

“You don't know how to waltz?” TJ asks curiously, perfectly on cue. “Don't you do dance for your P.E classes?”

Cyrus shrugs. “It's not ballroom.”

The thing is, he's concocted the perfect plan. TJ doesn't know Cyrus knows how to waltz, but Cyrus knows that TJ does. TJ had surprised them all with this knowledge a few weeks ago at a school dance. Jonah wanted to impress a girl he liked, TJ offered to show him how to dance and everyone got their happily ever after. Except Cyrus. TJ had not waltzed with Cyrus. He's still a little bitter about it.

“I could teach you,” he offers. “Save you the money.”

���Really?” Cyrus says, grinning. “Awesome. Yeah, that would be great thanks.”

Cyrus mentally marks phase one of mission ‘get TJ to admit his feelings’ a success.

*

TJ comes over on Saturday. Cyrus’ mom and stepdad have gone out to some barbeque with friends and won't be back until later so he's taking advantage of an empty house as much as he can. He makes sure to run to the store in the morning to grab some of TJ's favourite chips and soda (Baja blast Mountain Dew because what else do you expect from a teenage boy), and does a rush job at tidying up even though TJ has definitely seen the house in a much worse state than it is. He's been over during family events - he knows how wild they get. There's an odd nervous sensation thrumming in Cyrus’ veins. He has no reason to be on edge. It's just TJ. He tells himself this over and over, trying to calm down, but still jumps when he heard the front door opening and TJ yelling a greeting through the house. He's been letting himself in since they were fourteen now. It's a standard.

“I'm down here,” he yells back. They're going to be practicing in the basement so he's moved the ping-pong table out the way and set up the stereo so it's ready to go. TJ's socked feet thud down the stairs and he beams at him when he comes into view. He pulls Cyrus into a sideways hug and quickly releases him, making a beeline for the Mountain Dew. Cyrus rolls his eyes - typical.

“So how do you wanna do this?”

Cyrus shrugs. “You're the teacher.”

“You got music?”

He hands him to remote to the stereo. TJ fiddled with it for a moment before switching it on to a rhythmic rock beat with a grin. He puts it down, shrugs off his hoodie and walks towards Cyrus.

“You ready?” He pulls Cyrus towards him, positioning them both carefully.

“We're really just jumping into it, then?”

“Of course. I'm gonna lead and I'm gonna explain the steps as we go, okay? Try not to step on my feet.”

Cyrus does step on his feet, several times, quite deliberately. Each time it sets them both off in a bout of giggling and they have to pause for a moment. The afternoon continues in much the same vein, Cyrus pretending to be terrible and making TJ laugh and feeling like his whole world is complete everytime he catches TJ smiling softly at him. His heart thumps when their faces get close together and he hopes and prays that his palms aren't too sweaty where they're clasped in TJ's. It feels right, the two of them together like this.

There's a moment, when they're coming to the end of a song and slowing down where Cyrus thinks this might be it. TJ might say something. They're looking into one another's eyes, the world around them faded slightly, and he's holding his breath waiting for him to say anything. Then TJ coughs, ducks his head and pulls away, announcing they should take a break and get some lunch, and Cyrus kind of wants to scream in frustration. This plan is going to take longer than he expected.

*

As it turns out, the plans takes much longer than he expected. TJ gives him three more dance lessons before the wedding and nothing comes of them. It's the most irritated Cyrus has ever been with him, which he realises isn't technically fair because TJ isn't a mind reader and can't possibly know Cyrus is losing his grip on reality as a result of all these pent up emotions between them, but he can't help it.

The evening of the wedding is a beautiful one. It's being held in a large white tent in the park which is lit up with beautiful handmade lamps dotted around artfully, illuminating the flowers and chairs that have been set up for the ceremony. In the dark outside, fireflies flicker in and out of existence. The stars above them are almost unusually bright. It seems like there's a certain amount of magic in the air.

Cyrus may or may not cry during the vows. He and TJ sit together, knees pressed up against one another like always, the edges of their hands touching ever so gently stop them. He thinks he might have heard a sniffle or two from TJ as well, but he doesn't comment. TJ is sensitive about those kinds of things. Bex and Bowie are so obviously in love, they both nearly sob during their vows, and for a moment Cyrus envies them with everything he has. He wants that one day. To love somebody so much it consumes him, but it makes him happier and a better person in the process. He thinks about the boy sat next to him and how it feels like he's pretty close to that already.

In typical Mack fashion, they throw a stellar party for the reception. There's a live swing band and a lot of loud laughter. Champagne flows freely and a disco ball that he suspects was Andi's idea glitters above the makeshift dance floor. Cyrus watches in amusement as the guests get drinker, the dancing gets worse and the jokes get dirtier. Everyone's having such a good time. When the first waltz comes on, he catches TJ's eyes across the room.

It seems like time stops as he walks towards him. TJ meets him in the middle with a wide smile and pulls them both on to the dance floor, taking Cyrus’ hand and placing his own on his waist. Cyrus forgets all about pretending to be terrible but TJ doesn't seem surprised in the slightest.

“I knew you were faking,” he laughs.

“I don't know what you're talking about,” Cyrus says, but he can't hold back his own smile. “... How'd you figure it out?”

He rolls his eyes. “I know you better than anyone, Cy. You're my best friend. You think I don't know you can dance? Your mom's shown me the pictures of your ballroom classes before. I'm not totally stupid.”

Cyrus prevents himself from saying 'that's debatable’ but it's a close call. TJ seems to read his mind and laughs anyway.

“I don't get why you needed to pretend, though,” he says. “You don't need to come up with excuses to hang out with me. You could tell me we're going to go sit in a field in silence for four hours and I'd still come because you'd be there.”

Cyrus sighs. “I know… it's just. I don't know. It's stupid, never mind.”

“No, what is it? Tell me.”

“I think…” he takes a deep breath. “You say you're my best friend, and that's true, but I also think you're more than that. And you have been for a really long time.”

TJ just keeps looking at him, saying nothing. Cyrus continues.

“Maybe it's just me that feels that way… but I don't think it is. I was hoping maybe if we got some one on one time doing something romantic maybe… maybe you'd say something?”.

“You pretended you couldn't dance because you wanted me to admit I have feelings for you?”

“Yes.”

“Well, obviously I do. Even Jonah knows that. Why didn't you just ask?”

Cyrus gapes at him. He can't believe it was that easy. TJ hadn't even hesitated to admit it. “... I didn't think of that.”

“You know, for the smartest guy I've ever met, you're kind of dumb,” TJ says with a fond look. “You could've told me how you felt too.”

“Oh… hush,” Cyrus says. “Stop smirking it's not funny.”

“It's pretty funny,” TJ grins. Cyrus pushes himself up on to his tiptoes to reach him, and just to wipe the amused smile from his face he presses a gentle kiss to his lips.

TJ makes him want to tear his hair out sometimes, but it's in the best way possible.