#So to be told that an original character looks or acts like an already existing character - it can really put a damper on things...

[idksmtms]

You Are Not One of Us (Poseidon x Norse Goddess!reader) - Part 1

Full Request

AN: OMGGGG my first request! And it’s an absolute banger too??? I feel like a queen, I truly do. 

I know the original request was more about Marvel-based Norse mythology but I’m not a Marvel fan so I went with original Norse mythology! Hope that’s ok! 

-Also yes, this is a place where we pretend the Hades-Persephone myth isn’t as messed up as it actually is and is a sweet love story instead, fuck off- 

-I know Hestia is supposed to be a virgin goddess and never marry but like… I’m thinking of a cute hearth goddess and how she could love Hephaestus and I want that for them- 

Final PS. that corner pic of Toby Stephens doesn't fit the rest of the aesthetic, I know, but I saw it while searching and it had me quivering so I had to add it.

Summary: Zeus and Odin have brought peace to the worlds of the gods. With peace comes love. But all is NOT fair in love and war. 

Word count: 6,187

Trigger Warnings: she/her pronouns, AFAB reader, profanity, innuendo, age gap (even tho they both thousands of years old), god racism?? Idk they act like “foreigner gods” is a bad thing, lusting, liking the fact that he looks older (is this a warning???), (please let me know if I missed any) 

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not claim to own any of the Percy Jackson and the Olympians characters. I do not own any pictures used nor do I claim to do so. 

Always appreciate comments, likes, and reblogs :)

It was the dawn of a new era when Kronos was thrown to Tartarus. His evil had touched more than just the world of the Greek gods, sending ripples through the very world of mythology itself. Though the worlds of the Norse and the Grecians were thousands of miles away, their gods had often met on the battlefields. A multitude of stories, now lost to time, told of the wars of snow and sand, told of the loves made and broken between viking idols and spartan gods. But upon the ‘death’ of Kronos, the new king of the gods found himself in a forgiving mood. Odin too, having given up so much for wisdom, realised the best way forward was to have peace in all aspects under his control, once and for all. 

The two gods met deep in a forest exactly halfway between what is now Greece and Norway, a forest that eventually became the town of Vlasim in the Czech Republic. No one other than the two kings knows what was said in order for the peace pact to be made, but they left with promises of order, friendship, and an invitation for the Asgardians to visit the stronghold that is Mount Olympus. 

When Zeus returned with this news, they all rejoiced and began ensuring Mount Olympus looked better than it ever had before. After all, they still needed to outshine these other supposed “gods”. Hera took charge of ensuring the entire place glowed, already beginning to argue with Demeter on how the flowers would look best. Aphrodite was already picking out her best dresses and sprucing up her hair, Artemis and Apollo hopping off to go hunting for some creature that would show their true prowess to the Asgardians (secretly hoping they would make it back in time). Dionysus was left in charge of the entertainment, though he was quickly focused only on providing wine for the entire table, and Hephaestus and Hestia found comfort in quiet corners of the room, watching all the chaos unfold. Hades had been unbothered, promising he would show up with Persephone when the Asgardians arrived and nothing more before disappearing in a puff of smoke back to the underworld and no doubt the loving arms of his wife. Poseidon was… well he didn’t know how he felt. If he was honest, he was beginning to feel old. Life as a god wasn’t all it was cut out to be, and it had been dragging a bit recently. His millennia of existence were beginning to catch up to him and he wasn’t sure how to jumpstart his enjoyment again. He had even taken to wearing an older form recently, a man still in his prime, but one with the wisdom of a thousand years subtly showing itself in the lines around his eyes and mouth. A man still corded in muscle but with the stockiness, width, and strength of one who had had one hundred lifetimes to hone it. This seemed like exactly the kind of thing he needed to reintroduce excitement to his life. Though Zeus had not included him in the peace talks, he was happy to be part of the governing that came after, to help maintain the peace between the gods. For once he felt he could happily commend his brother for a job well done. 

And he was excited to meet these new gods, apprehensive too of course, but… excited. It would be a good opportunity to measure themselves up to the others in their world, to truly decide if they were as invincible as they believed they were. Poseidon believed it was important for the gods to have a wake-up call every now and again to their fragility, and he was sure this would be one of them. 

Across the world, in the realm of Asgard and the halls of Valhalla, ale was poured and songs were sung as the gods rejoiced. Odin sat on his throne high above the others as some danced, some fought, some feasted, and some passed out from too much of everything too soon. Odin watched over them all with one of his rare smiles, a hand resting atop the one Frigg had placed on the arm of his throne. Even Loki, occasional friend, occasional enemy, had joined for this celebration. He was proud of what he had achieved, of the worthy sacrifices he had made, to not only bring him eternal wisdom, but to bring peace between two races of gods. Odin turned to Frigg, leaning down to kiss her cheek. She blushed, turning to him and pressing one on his cheek in return. 

“Everything is well?” She asked, caressing his cheek just under the eye he had given up. 

“Perfect,” he sighed, then looked back out to the dancefloor where his children now pranced jokingly.

Thor laughed heartily as he began to chug from his mug, froth spilling over the sides of his cheeks as his friends clapped and cheered. Loki even smiled, though he was more caught up in trying to continue his conversation with the little goddess sandwiched between her brother and him. Odin’s youngest child, the newest addition to Asgard, giggled at her brother’s antics and the clever commentary the god of mischief whispered in her ear. She was still young by the standards of the gods, having only seen a thousand sun cycles, and she was treated as such, cherished by all who looked upon the daughter of Odin, the goddess of love, so loved in fact, that Odin had chosen to bestow his own title of god of war onto her. The goddess of love, and war, Y/n Odinsdottir. 

You were excited for this trip to Mount Olympus. You had been aware of the Greek gods since your birth but you had not had the opportunity of meeting them in battle. Being only a thousand years old meant you had been coddled for five hundred of them, and though you had been given the title of goddess of war, you still felt you had to earn it. Balancing the powers of love and war was a struggle you were still learning. You had spent the last five hundred years trying to choose the right warriors to bestow your blessing upon, the right vikings to give the power of love (the second being especially difficult as you had only felt familial love thus far). This would be an opportunity to learn from these other gods, to not only enjoy a new era of peace but to build on your own skills. 

Odin, Frigg, and Thor enjoyed your excitement, watching with smiles as you pranced about in different dresses wondering which would be the best to wear, brushing out your hair and carefully pinning the dark blue tresses into an updo. Though you often changed the way you looked (shapeshifting came with the job of being a love goddess for all mythologies it seemed), you never changed the blue hair. You had quickly grown fond of it, and the natural movement of hair in that colour reminded you of waves on the ocean, a particular favourite spot of yours. Even past the blue hair, you often wore blue dresses in varying shades, simply because you had come to love the ocean, and thus the colour blue. The other gods often remarked that love was not black nor white, rather it was blue. 

On the eve of the grand meeting of the gods, you had sat beside Loki in a stone alcove high above the feast hall of Valhalla, watching the slain heroes rejoice for another evening. Though it was in Loki’s nature to be a trickster, you had come to enjoy his company and often seeked him out when you were bored or nervous. He knew the history of the gods almost as well as Odin, and you enjoyed the way he told his stories with exaggerated voices and dancing movements. You loved learning about all that had happened before you, all the battles the gods had fought, the relationships they had made, long before you were even a thought in Odin’s head. On a night like this, when you had too much energy to just while away the hours, you found Loki and begged him to tell you a story. You were still young, and possibly your power as a love goddess had an influence too, but he found he could never quite say no to you. 

“Alright, little goddess, settle in, for tonight I tell you a story of love and perilous heartbreak, a story that involves lovers who should never have met, lovers who had no business being together, and who fate punished for it,” Loki began, eyes sparkling as he gazed deep into your own. You shivered and nodded, excitement and just a hint of fear tickling your spine. You sat back against the stone wall and brought your knees to your chest, resting your chin on top of them and waiting for Loki to begin again. 

“So many years ago that neither you nor I were even a thought in the dust, one of the aesir fell in love with a goddess of another land. Though their names and abilities are lost now, we know that the aesir was one of our strongest, almost indestructible. The goddess was special in her own right, among her own people, and these two great clans warred for many centuries. Years and years were spent slaughtering each other’s families, using human battles as their own, bleeding each other dry until there was barely anything left to call them gods. 

During one such battle, this aesir had broken through the front lines of the opponents, but was stopped dead in his tracks when he laid eyes upon a beautiful goddess helping to heal what she could. He was enamoured by her, so enamoured that for the first time in any battle he was nicked by an arrow.” Loki paused, seeing the way your eyes widened and began to get teary, and he smiled gently. “Do not worry little goddess, it was only a small cut, and he was able to heal, but the true wound was in his heart. He wanted to find this goddess, to be near her, to love her, and yet every day he had to fight her people, without fail. 

One day, he decided to stay back while the others fought, and he snuck over to the other side to try and find his goddess. He disguised himself as a butterfly and fluttered around their camp looking for her. Again, when he found her he was struck dumb by her beauty, and instantly changed into his true form in front of her. She was terrified, and she almost began to yell for help, but he begged her not to. He promised her his life, his very essence as a god, if only she would give him a chance to show her how much he had come to love her. Of course she was apprehensive at first, he was the enemy after all, but she allowed him this. 

The aesir took his knife, cut his palm, and dripped his blood onto the ground. With the first drop, he created a new flower and named it Linnea, for her. With the second, he created a flurry of butterflies that would follow after her wherever she would go, do whatever she wished of them. And with the third, he created a thin gold thread. He took one end of the thread and tied it around his wrist before offering the other to her. He said that if she took it, he would bind himself to her, soul to soul. That if she loved him back, they may be separated, but the gold thread would tie them together forever and wherever they may be, they could always follow it back to one another. The goddess, won over by his utter devotion, accepted his offering and promised to love him back until the end of her days. 

Each night they separated to their own camps, connected only by the gold thread, and each day while the battles and the war raged on, they would sneak away to far off places to be together and live in a happiness their people couldn’t seem to find. But all was not well for the lovers, for the Norns had spun their threads and knew that the price of their love was one no god could ever pay. And so, one day when the lovers snuck off, a god from this other clan who had been promised this goddess’s hand in marriage decided to follow. He saw this ultimate betrayal and sounded the alarm. Both lovers were dragged back to their camps in shackles, the aesir and the other gods unsure of how to punish them. 

The eldest of the aesir knew what must be done. The lovers could never be together, it was simply impossible, and he spoke with the leader of this other clan in a moment of truce. They were both in agreement, and the elder was sent off to complete this task. He ventured to Yggdrasil and found Urðr, Verðandi, and Skuld. He had Verðandi remove any memory or thought of the goddess from the aesir’s mind. He had Urðr remove any trace of the goddess from the aesir’s fate. And he had Skuld remove any future with the goddess. 

When this was done, the elder returned to the camp and found the god to see if the Norns had worked true. He had no memory of the goddess, and seemed returned as he was to the aesir. On the other side, the same had happened to the goddess with her own fates, any trace of the god removed from her thoughts, memories, fate and future. Everyone thought all was well and normalcy had returned, but both god and goddess felt the eternal tug of a gold thread wrapped around their wrist that no one but them could see. Both attempted to follow it but it seemed to never have an end. They would stand in front of each other, and look straight through the other, never able to see one another again. Forever they were cursed to wonder why they were pulled toward something they could not see, something they would never be able to find.” Loki finished with a sigh, looking at you as you sat curled up against the wall opposite him. You were frowning, tears collected at the corners of your eyes and lip trembling. 

“I didn’t like that story,” you mumbled, shaking your head and wiping at your eyes. “What was so wrong with them loving each other?” 

“Little goddess, we are terrified of the things we don’t understand. We don’t understand love, we don’t understand why it evades us but not those we hate. We don’t understand why it makes us love those we do not want to love.” Loki began to stand, brushing off his legs and shirt with a shrug. 

“Then… then none of you understand me. You are all terrified of me. I am the goddess of love, am I not?” You asked, looking up at him with fearful eyes. But Loki just smiled and patted your head. 

“You help us understand love, little goddess. That is why we need you, because without you, we would all be even more lost. Imagine that,” he smirked and chuckled, then walked away, mumbling something about readying for the journey to Olympus. 

When the Norse gods began to arrive on Olympus, the Vanir entering first, the gathered horde of Greek gods and goddesses and spirits began to mumble and talk among themselves as they judged the foreigners that now walked among them. The Grecians felt their dressing was superior, their peplos were so white that they would burn the eyes of a human. The gold edging was pure and shined as if it was freshly polished and not thread. The purple cloaks they all donned would bankrupt every village in the human world just to get enough dye to make it look that bright. They were… amused? Intrigued? Maybe even disgusted by the fashion of their guests. They all wore varying shades of red. They had either thin linen garments with animal furs draped across their shoulders and arms, or donned thick tunics of sheepskin and wool pants with leather belts decorated with axes and swords. Both groups were… apprehensive to mingle. 

Zeus and Hera sat on their thrones and looked down on their guests, nodding greetings as they watched for Odin and Frigg. Poseidon and Hades sat on their own thrones to the side of their brother. Hades was turned to the side and conversing solely with Persephone who stood just behind his throne, leaning onto it and smiling down at her husband. Poseidon just sat back and watched the gods enter the grand hall, resting his chin on his hand and trying not to yawn with boredom. 

The entrance of Odin and Frigg could not be missed. As they crossed the bridge into Mount Olympus, they were surrounded by the Aesir. Odin held Frigg’s hand, both dressed in traditional Viking fashion. Frigg wore a modest woollen strap dress in a shade of red so deep it looked like she had bathed in blood. Her grey eyes were smudged with black on the lids and her hair was braided on both sides and tied back, resting on a black fur stole draped over her shoulders. Odin was dressed completely in black, from his eyepatch to his tunic and sheepskin pants. But his cloak was of the pure white fur of a bear, the edges dragging on the ground behind him. 

Thor followed behind his father, dressed as a common viking, but with Mjolnir dangling from his wrist, shiny and almost glowing. Baldr walked beside him, a simple white tunic and black pants comprising his outfit. But it was his hair that was the talk of the audience, so pale and white that it seemed to glow itself. He was a handsome creature, youthful and majestic, with a muscular body and a gentle smile. The muses began to giggle as they watched him walk past. 

It was after Thor and Baldr had separated to stand beside their father and mother, that little gasps and whispers began to pervade the air. Behind them had walked Odin’s youngest child, wearing a dress of blue that draped over your body like water. It looked like it had been made of the thinnest netting all gathered and crushed together then draped over your body in the fashion of the Greeks. The fabric was so light near the top that it looked like the very froth of a wave, and darkened as it flared out behind you, the hem almost as black as the deepest trenches of the sea. Like your mother and father, you had draped a fur over your shoulders, hoping to appease your people. You had wanted to blend in with the Greeks, had wanted them to feel respected (you were entering their home after all) but you still wanted to look like a viking. 

The Aesir walked forward as Zeus stood from his throne, followed slowly by his brothers and Hera. He smiled at the approaching group, waiting until they were just in front of the thrones before speaking. 

“Welcome, all, to Mount Olympus,” his voice boomed, and a small flutter of claps sounded from around the crowd. “Thank you for joining us, and for ensuring peace between our peoples for the rest of our eternity,” he smiled, and Odin bowed his head in thanks, letting go of Frigg’s hand to hold both of his own in front of himself. “Please, converse, rest, enjoy the sights of Olympus and partake in the refreshments,” Zeus gestured his arms to the tables of ambrosia that stretched so far that even the gods lost sight of their ends. With that, he sat back on his throne, and waited for Odin and Frigg to approach. 

Hades took the opportunity to grab Persephone’s hand and try to slink off but the goddess just chided him and forced him to sit back in his throne as she went to see her mother. Hel chose this moment to approach him and the two began a stilted conversation about their individual worlds of death. Hephaestus and Hestia, who had taken up to joining together in situations of unfamiliarity, sat together in the corner, whispering among themselves. Apollo found company in Bragi, though both instantly began speaking in verse to try and prove who was the better poet. 

Artemis, Ares, and Athena had crowded Thor and Tyr and were all in different positions of trying to look dangerous, unamused, and intrigued at the same time. Aphrodite had pounced on Baldr, but found competition in the muses who had already made their way to surround him, and soon found herself flirting with Freyr. Hermes and Loki too had found delightful conversation with one another, full of ideas of thievery and trickery. 

And Poseidon was… enamoured. Since the moment he had laid eyes on you he had not taken them away. He had slowly sat back down in his chair, worried that if he stayed standing his knees may give out. You made a god weak. You were beautiful, ethereal, magical, beyond anything even the gods could think to conjure. And your dress… oh that dress, had you chosen it for him? Had you arrived with a mind to capture his very essence? Because it started with that dress. You looked the very soul of water, the very thing that made a world impossible without it. Your hair, your luscious hair, so blue that it reminded him of his palace, of the places deepest in the sea where he felt truly at peace. And the small smile on your face as you meandered between the different groups of gods conversing, slightly shy of your place, but not unhappy. It was the smile of a fresh pearl, one that shined under even the dimmest of lights. 

Poseidon watched you walk about, not entering any conversation but not shying away from listening to the others speak. Your pretty face never once dipped into a frown, and he felt like he would never truly catch his breath if he could see you in his line of vision. It took every bit of his godly power to force his eyes away, and he was both angered and thankful when some god (who seemed to be the only one who looked as old as he probably was) walked up to his throne and began conversing about fish. 

You were so happy that Njord had listened to your little prompt to go speak to the god of the seas, because it meant he finally pulled his eyes away from you, and you could begin to watch him in return. He had been the first of the thrones you had looked at, and the only one you truly cared about now. His eyes were such a dark blue that they reminded you of the ocean, of your favourite place in the ocean in fact, and they seemed so… knowing, as if one look at another told him everything he needed to know about them. His form was majestic, stoic and strong, with broad shoulders and thick arms that made you desire something you had never desired before. You wanted him to hold you. You wanted him to wrap those arms around you, to run your fingers over those arms. Were you bewitched? Were you cursed? Even his hair made you feel desire, those beautiful locks of hair that resembled celestial bronze, neat yet still unrestrained with a particularly unruly strand falling onto his forehead. You wanted to run your fingers through that hair, to feel if it was truly as soft as you imagined, to press your nose into it and inhale the slightly salty scent that surely clung to him, that you had come to love as much as the sight of the ocean itself. You wanted to feel his beard on your cheeks, under your palms, to know if the white hairs that threaded through it were any coarser than the others, to know what it felt like to have a man’s face in the palms of your hands. Your entire being felt as if it was on fire, and the more you stared at him, at the slight signs of age that showed themselves in the lines by his eyes and mouth, the more you felt it burn inside you. 

Someone cleared their throat to your right and you gasped, whirling on them as a blush branded itself on your cheeks, as if your body wanted to betray your thoughts. You smiled, hoping to cover up whatever embarrassment may have shown on your face, and gazed at the god before you. He was about your height, if not a little taller, with a grin that reminded you of Loki’s. His hair was black and combed back smoothly in a rather regal fashion. His eyes were black too, you noticed, so black that you couldn’t differentiate the pupil from the iris. You smiled brightly at him, bowing your head in greeting when you noticed the little wings that protruded from his shoes. 

“My goodness! Your shoes!” You exclaimed, gasping and pointing at them with a delighted little laugh. 

“Yes,” he laughed along, “they help me travel quickly when I am tired, though they do often have a mind of their own,” he joked, and you laughed loudly. He had a sweet voice, one that would sound happy even when he was sad. “I am Hermes, son of Zeus, what is your name?” His eyes were sparkling and you found you enjoyed it. 

“I am Y/n of the Aesir, goddess of love and war,” you introduced yourself, holding out your hand to him. Hermes held it as if it were a precious gift and pressed his lips to your knuckles. You had never felt so regal. 

“Ah, yes, Odin’s youngest, I have heard of your prowess on the battlefield.” Hermes was surely a charmer, you thought, and you smiled brightly, a tinge of pink to your cheeks. 

“You flatter me, I am still unproven as a goddess of war, though I suppose I do plan a strategy well,” you smiled cheekily, shrugging nonchalantly and holding your hands behind your back as you swayed girlishly. 

If there was one thing you were proud of, it was your ability to fight. It was the reason your father had given you this title, your cunning ability to break down your opponents in all sorts of ways, to plan out a fight before it had even begun. Simply put, you were good at it, you could defeat Tyr with ease now, and even Thor had become no challenge. While you still struggled with the love side of your godly abilities and duties, you could always rely on your fighting. 

“What about you, Hermes? What are you the god of?” You asked, tilting your head in question. 

“Many things, trade, luck, travel, and thieves,” he answered breezily, though his smile betrayed his pride. “I am the herald of our pantheon, the messenger of the gods.” 

“Well you are very important then, for where would we be without our messengers?” You told him sweetly, and all he could do was nod. His chest filled with warmth and he knew he had to be careful or the affection that now bubbled inside of him would erupt from his mouth. 

“You are wise as you are sweet,” he simply replied, and you just smiled brightly before turning to face the group and stepping slightly closer to his side. 

“You remind me of Loki, though he is not a brother, I see him as such,” you told him, and a small pang hit him in the stomach. You had already passed him off as a brother it seemed. But Hermes just shook his head to himself and smiled at you again, leading you toward a display of flowers just to the side that was one of Demeter’s favoured experimental projects. He was tenacious, if nothing else, and he would eventually get you to enjoy his company as something more. 

Poseidon had ended up enjoying his conversation with Njord (who was surprisingly intelligent and rather engaging when conversing about fish) but when the god had left him he instantly began to look around for you. Any good mood was squashed when he saw you walking off arm in arm with Hermes, and a thunderous look settled across his face. Somewhere on earth a storm began to brew. Luckily, you didn’t walk far, and he was able to watch over you from his throne, though his mood had already soured, and continued to sour the longer you stayed attached to Hermes’ arm. 

Hades, who had finally rid himself of Hel’s company, Hestia and Hephaestus from their corner, and even Dionysus from his seat at the ambrosia table with a jug of wine bigger than his head watched Poseidon. He was acting rather odd, and they could all now see why. His eyes had not left the girl-goddess since she had arrived, and he was miserably failing if he was attempting to be subtle. They had noticed the goddess watching him in return, the pink tint on her cheeks and the sparkle in her eye, and a teasing giggle seemed to build in all those watching. How poignant for Poseidon to fall for the goddess dressed like the sea. Hades stood from his throne and made his way to his brother, sitting on the arm of his throne and smirking at him.

“I will admit, brother, that she is beautiful,” he told Poseidon quietly. The god of the sea snapped his head to his brother, and scowled. 

“I have no idea what you are talking about,” he answered simply, but Hades just laughed, patting Poseidon on the shoulder. 

“Oh brother, you truly do not understand the art of subtlety, do you?” Hades raised an eyebrow and Poseidon stared at him bewildered. “You have watched that one since she arrived and done nothing but that. And goodness, the way you watch her! Have you never seen a woman?” Poseidon shrugged his brother’s hand off of his shoulders and had the decency to look slightly sheepish. He had assumed no one would notice. Hades noted the slight shame in his brother’s expression and sighed, smiling gently. 

“Do not worry, I will tell no one, though I may not have anything to tell as she does seem to be enjoying Hermes’ company,” he added teasingly, and Poseidon growled at his brother’s back. 

He was distracted by a commotion that had arisen near where Hermes and the goddess had stood. Now a group had gathered around them, fluttering with whispers, and he was too curious not to know what was going on. He walked swiftly from the throne, standing just behind some of the minor gods in the group and peering over their heads. 

“So you are a goddess of war, your brother has said?” Ares asked, hands on his hips as he stared down at you. You smiled up at him, nodding your head. 

“The goddess of war and love,” you told him. Athena and Aphrodite, both stood just behind Ares with their arms crossed over their chests scoffed. 

“A goddess of war and love? Must not be good at either,” Aphrodite murmured, voice snarky and loud enough to be heard by everyone. Athena smirked, hiding a chuckle behind her hand. You frowned at this, looking toward the two goddesses, but Ares just moved so you would be forced to continue staring at him.  

“She is a guest, do not be rude,” Hermes spat, but Ares and Aphrodite just waved their hands in twin moves of dismissal. 

“I am the god of war, she is the goddess of love, we have the right to ask questions of a guest who resembles us so closely,” Ares smirked at Hermes, but he was quick to return his gaze to you. His eyes were like fire, hungry and angry, ready to burn whatever he looked at. 

“So, what exactly do you do? Do you make enemies fall in love and end wars?” Aphrodite snarked, tilting her head and staring at you like you were just something annoying that had flown into her path. 

Poseidon wanted to intervene. He was desperate to come to your defence, to have the waters flood Olympus and drown each of them until they were nothing but salt in the sea. But before he could step forward to your aid, he saw the subtle changes in you. He saw the way your eyes hardened, any trace of the happiness and gentleness with which you had treated everyone thus far disappearing. He saw your back straighten just a tad more, your shoulders pushing back and your balance shifting just slightly forward onto the balls of your feet. You clenched your teeth together for a moment before relaxing your jaw and looking up at Ares. 

“Would you like to fight me?” You asked simply, folding your hands in front of you. Ares began to laugh, a deep guffawing laugh that had him bending backward and puffing it into the sky. Aphrodite tittered, pressing her fingers to her mouth and turning to the side as her laugh tinkled into the air. Even Athena smirked, though she didn’t say anything nor laugh, just a widening of her lips and a slight disbelief at your stupidity in her eyes. “Is there a problem?” 

“You have just asked to fight a REAL god of war, child, what am I to do other than laugh?” He replied, throwing his arms out and gazing at the crowd. 

“Careful, brother,” Hermes spat, but you just placed a hand on his arm, stoic expression not changing. 

“You could fight me,” you answered simply, beginning to tie your hair back. “Unless you do not believe in yourself, REAL god of war?” 

Ares snarled, baring his teeth at you before stepping back and throwing off his purple sash. It would only be a hindrance to his fighting ability. You smiled, broad and bright, and a longsword appeared in your hand. A glorious weapon, with a handle of white bone carved from a broken fang of Fenrir. The blade was black like onyx, but fashioned from the strongest metal the dwarves could find and forge in Nidavellir. It was your favourite. You spun it in your hand lazily, inspecting it for a moment before turning to look back at Ares. Your eyes flashed blue, so quickly that if anyone had blinked they would have missed it. Then, with a smile so gentle you seemed you could never hurt a fly, you attacked. 

It took you no more than five minutes to have Ares on the floor, your sword pointed at his throat. You were swift like wind, clanging your sword against his before twisting around him and kicking the back of his knee and then the other to flip him over as he fell. Not a hair out of place, you smiled down at him, pressing the point just a little into the skin of his throat before pulling it away completely and sending it back to Asgard. Ares stared up at you with eyes so wide you thought they would pop out of his head. He was winded, puffing on the floor as he tried to figure out where he was, what had just happened. 

“How did you…” Hermes stared at you, mouth wide open. 

“I told you! I’m good at strategy. He is cocky, and he underestimated me. He believed I was being cocky, and thought that when I saw him with his sword I would be apprehensive. He did not expect a swift beginning attack, nor did he believe I would risk trying to go for an obvious place like the back of the knees. To know your opponent is to be able to defeat them. Simple.” You smiled at Hermes, shrugging and turning away from the crowd to venture around the flower display and find one you hadn’t seen yet. 

Ares sat up, Aphrodite gulped, and Athena turned away, walking off. The entire group began to whisper about what they had just witnessed, the story spreading to all the gods and spirits quicker than a wildfire. They slowly dispersed, leaving Ares on the floor with Aphrodite gently patting his shoulder in a sad attempt at comfort (which he shoved off as he stood and stormed away). 

Poseidon watched all this and waited until he had walked back to his throne to let himself smile. He leaned back and replayed the fight in his mind, chuckling at the way you had stomped on the back of Ares’ knee with your delicate shoes. Oh he was absolutely enthralled by this goddess, and he didn’t even know your name yet…

Taglist: @josxkl1m

[scekrex]

Imagine sinner!Adam walking inside the Hazbin hotel with Charlie and everyone is glaring at him except reader and was very confused he didn't even know who is Adam until one of the character told him and he just listens to them while eating a peach

Imagine them both just being awkward and silent because reader is like don't know what to tell him but when one time he was asked to watch over Adam and he sees one random sinner was messing with Adam reader goes protective mood and beat the leaving soul out the sinner while cussing at them...in Russian and just grabbed Adam's hand like nothing happened murmuring that if a sinner mess with Adam again they will face readers wrath

Okay so since it's x reader and not everyone speaks Russian, I changed that part to a more neutral wording, not naming a specific language. Hope that works for ya, enjoy!

All the violence makes a statement

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language & canon typical violence (kinda)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

When the main door to the hotel opened with a loud noise as it hit the wall, all of the residents’ attention shifted towards it. A man quite tall stepped through it, entering the hotel’s lobby, his walk was confident, the look on his face a mix between lazy and prideful and he stepped inside like he owned that place - and while you had no clue who the brown haired man was, you did know that he did not own that place. The hotel was Charlie’s after all.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” the princess of hell was the first to raise her voice towards the man that had just entered her building, given the way he had phrased it, she knew him quite well. Was he someone important? Were you supposed to know him? The stranger sure acted like it and even though he had not spoken a single word yet, you already knew you didn’t like his attitude. That assumption was proven right when the brown haired demon opened his mouth to respond, “This shithole is about redemption, so I’m gonna fucking crash here until Sera moves her fucking ass and gets me the fuck outta here.” Charlie crossed her arms over her chest, she was really not fond of the seemingly new guest and given the way he had just spoken to her you really didn’t blame her. Vaggie was the one to bite back at the stranger, “No. Absolutely not, get the fuck out.” You leaned over to Angel, who was sitting next to you at the bar, in his hand a freshly poured drink, “Who the fuck is that?” Angel looked at the brunette, then at you, “You don’t know him?” he asked, clearly confused about the fact that you really didn’t know the man that had just entered the hotel. “I wouldn’t be fucking asking if I did, dipshit.”

The brunette stranger had overheard your conversation and was answering you before Angel even had a chance to explain it to you, “I’m fucking Adam,” he said, as if it was the most obvious thing. You raised an eyebrow at him in confusion, that hadn’t really answered your question, “Am I supposed to fucking know every Adam in existance?” And the stranger - Adam - seemed to take your response quite personal, “Babes, I’m not some random fucking Adam, I’m the fucking Adam, the original dick.” Oh. So he was the asshole that had blown up the hotel. He was the bastard that had not only almost defeated Alastor, but was also responsible for Sir Pentious’ death. “I agree with Vaggie, let’s kick him out,” you directed your words to Charlie, who seemed to be considering something. “Actually,” the princess of hell started and you heard Vaggie sigh at her word, “Forget it Charlie, he’s not staying.” The devil’s daughter shook her head though, “No but Adam is right,” and while her voice gave away that she wasn’t very happy about that fact, she still admitted it. “Duh, obviously I’m right,” the brunette commented. “This hotel is about redemption after all.” Vaggie put her hand on Charlie’s shoulder as she disagreed with her girlfriend, “He doesn’t wanna get redeemed, hun, he only wants to get his ass back into heaven so that he can continue to fuck up your plans.”

-

Well, Charlie turned out to be quite convincing and that resulted in Adam staying at the hotel. And he was a fucking bitch about it, god forbid, you couldn’t believe that asshole was once an angel. There was simply no way with the way he acted towards you and your friends. And yet you had ended up as his personal bodyguard - or at least you felt like that. Because Charlie knew that if Adam were to roam hell on his own, the sinners living there would tear him into pieces. Your opinion on it? He deserved it. Charlie however saw things a little different and therefore she had asked you to keep an eye on Adam. That motherfucker obviously laid it out as something different entirely, in his eyes you were following him around, playing bodyguard, because he was so goddamn fucking important. Which he really wasn't, not in the slightest.

“Watch it,” a sinner Adam had just walked into hissed as he was about to continue to walk past the first man, he was definitely not having it though. “‘Watch it’?” the brunette repeated in sheer disbelief, grabbing the sinner by his upper arm to prevent him from leaving, “Do you fucking know who I am? I’m fucking- the first man was interrupted by a fist that met his face with more force than he had expected from the smaller soul.

And despite the fact that you disliked Adam's guts just like everyone else at the hotel did, something inside of you clicked into place when the first man got hit in the face. You rushed over to the two sinners, pushed yourself in-between them and shoved the sinner that dared to mess with the brunette you had promised to protect backwards, away from yourself and most importantly away from Adam. “The fuck you think you’re doing, bastard?” you hissed at the stranger who was quick to recover from your shove, yet he made himself appear smaller than he actually was as he bit back, “Teaching this fuckhead a lesson, you got any fucking problems with that?” His question was answered by your fist meeting his face, hitting him right in the eye, “Yeah, I fucking have a problem with that.”

Adam couldn't help himself, the first man simply stood there, watching you as you hit the stranger over and over again - if the brunette was honest the punch the sinner had landed hadn't even hurt him, it hadn't been hard enough to do so. Yet he was quite impressed by your fighting skills, he sure didn't expect you to be as strong as you were. The language you spoke as you seemed to insult the stranger Adam wasn't able to recognize, he had never heard it before and yet it sounded fucking hot coming from your lips. Has anyone ever put up a fight with a stranger for him - like a physical hand-to-hand combo? No. Not even Lute had done that in the past. So when you grabbed a firm hold of the sinner and rang him to the ground, Adam watched with fascinated eyes as you kept your promise and protected him - not that he couldn't have stood up for himself of course. But you doing the dirty work for him seemed quite nice, that way his hands would remain pure. As pure as the hands of a fallen angel could be, that was.

The sinner laid on the ground, blood covered his face and dripped onto the dusty ground he was laying on. You got up with ease, acting like nothing had happened, like that had been the most normal encounter you had ever had with a sinner - and knowing how things in hell worked, that might not be too far off. You grabbed onto Adam's wrist and pulled him away from the body that was twitching in pain and from the hungry eyes that had attached themselves onto the first man once people had started to recognize Adam for who he was. “I swear if one of ‘em bitches ever touches you again, I'll rip ‘em apart until all that's left are little pieces,” as you spoke you noticed the smug grin on Adam's face, in rage you asked, “The fuck you're so happy about?” “Oh nothing, that was just hot as fuck.” And even though you still disliked the guy, his words made you blush a little.

[lazyflower48]

At the anime expo recently, Asagiri said that BEAST is his favourite light novel. I'm gonna take that as my cue to talk about it once again because i love BEAST so much, and i will talk about it at every chance i get.

So, I'm back with yet another episode of BSD BEAST is pain, I decided to go through the light novel after reading the manga, and we have these paragraphs:

The line that hurt me the most here was, "He smiled like a lost child who finally found his house."

It hurt me so much because BEAST Dazai is merely acting on the memories he got from the Original Dazai. BEAST Dazai never got to experience Odasaku's friendship. So in that moment, he's sitting in front of Oda, but that's not the Odasaku who was his friend. BEAST Oda only sees him as the boss of Port Mafia, his enemy. Whereas Dazai sees him as his dear friend. The only person who "understood him far beyond what he had ever thought."

This one...where do I start?

"It's hard to take someone's word for it when you've only just met"

"I felt as if the young man sitting before me was about to cry. But that wouldn't make any sense. It wasn't logical"

There is so much I have to say about these lines. Dazai is being encouraging towards Oda. It's a rare sight to see, Dazai actually being positively and genuinely encouraging about something??? But at the end of the day, his words barely hold any weight because he's just a stranger to Oda. So when Oda tells him that and Dazai looks like he's about to cry, he, of course, finds it ridiculous and illogical. Why would this man he just met cry over those words?

From Dazai's perspective, those words probably hurt him a lot. Being told that and then being called an enemy by the man who he dedicated his life to save yet, he can't do anything about it. So the idea of Dazai crying, being vulnerable for even a second, says a lot.

"His cheerful, boyish expression now gone."

Dazai, the boss of the PM, the one with tremendous amount of weight on his shoulders thought that maybe for once he could act childish around his friend but that illusion shattered the moment Oda basically called him a stranger.

One thing I've noticed in this particular chapter of BEAST is the display of emotions from Dazai. For a man who barely expresses his true emotions, in BEAST, we get to see an uncharacteristically emotional side of Dazai.

"especially when it hurts so much to say it to them." At this point, I have nothing more to add. It hurts enough already.

Beast Dazai is truly one the most tragic characters I've ever read about. At the end of the day, he is just a shadow of the Original Dazai. He spent all these years planning and scheming and even went as far as giving up his own life for his friend. But that friendship only existed in his memories because in this universe, he is only a stranger to Oda.

What made Asagiri think it was okay to write BEAST and then say it's his favourite light novel?!

[katyspersonal]

I accidentally stumbled upon a post you rbbed about canon characters who beat each other up violently and in fanon they violently make out and your tags about alfred and the cainhurst crow have made something in me stir. this is a brilliant pairing how did I never consider this

Oh, damn really now fshgdfdsg This pairing is actually a controversial classic of this fandom, on the level with Ariadella or Bradmon!! I am glad to give you an Insight point on accident hahaha; I believe it's normally called Crowfred, I tend to opt out for Alfeater! Ships where one or both characters aren't named goddamit..

My style of discussions about ships is to offer some more Insights like some dealer but with autism instead of drugs, so.. Two things:

1) Their age and/or timeline gap is uncertain!

In original Japanese script, Alfred doesn't call himself a "protege" of Master Logarius, which leaves it up to interpretation whether he even met Logarius in person or simply adores him parasocially! Should Bloody Crow come directly from Cainhurst, that'd make him much older than Alfred!

On the other hand, despite Arianna and Bloody Crow (and Fauxsefka, for that matter) existing, Annalise says that you are the only one consanguineously connected with her! It could come from the effect expiring over time if the person doesn't take her blood, which is what I am using. But at the same time, the Vilebloods we know might actually be descendants of the surviving ones! I've had some analysis on Arianna in this ( x ) post, but the gist of it: since actual noble dresses are silver, but hers is burgundy and coincidentally stretches during pregnancy no problem, her mother might have ran away while pregnant with Arianna!

But why Bloody Crow could not be similar, simply a descendant of the Vilebloods that never met Annalise in person and follows the mental image? Both Alfred and Crow could be caught in the unhealthy quest of admiring a person they've never met, continuing the rituals and the ideas of their ancestors they might not fully grasp, and moreover, continuing the old violent ideological conflict they don't even know the actual roots of or the reasons of continuing. They "gotta" kill each other because... why? Who told them they should? What about their own lives, not lives and honour of their 'ancestors'? It adds a lot of drama, and even makes stopping the war that isn't even their with love of all things more romantic!

At the same time, if one of them IS older and smarter, it opens up a whole other potential for the story. Crow could push the "naive fool" away from the crazy quest, or Alfred could convince Crow that sacrifices for "child of blood" is an evil and cursed thing. ....only if either of them calms their murderous unhinged energy for a second. :') And IF they both hail from the 'OG conflict' (time works strange ways in Yharnam), there is the appeal of simply growing tired from the pointless conflict which already destroyed both sides and they can face it together. Bonus controversy points depending on how many of each others side they've killed yet: Alfred straight up identifies as hunter of Vilebloods, whereas Crow is found in Grand Cathedral and strangely wields Healing Church's gun instead of something from Cainhurst (was he looting the victims or something?)

2) There is an alternative way to go about their story!

What if you read Alfred's deep resentment towards Annalise "seducing" people not as some hateful propaganda of the Church he's probably parroting, but as an actual precedent of something that happened? What if Bloody Crow wielding a Healing Church weapon IS his? What if the two used to BOTH be with the Healing Church and look for Annalise together, and one time Bloody Crow managed to reach his goal.. only to be completely charmed by Annalise and betray the Healing Church to join the Vilebloods instead, and he is only acting like crow-feathered Hunter of Hunters to have easier access to murdering people rather than beasts! (Djura pls stop trying to intervene let me finish typing the post ffs hfdjfdshsdfh)

So, Alfred IS pretty mad at his friend having chosen to simp instead, but can't blame Crow himself for it. This idea does need to address why then Annalise says you're 'the only one', as well as how would Crow overcome Logarius being an obstacle? @val-of-the-north says that maybe Bloody Crow instead joined via some other surviving Vileblood outside, so what we have. Parasocial? Telepathy? Communication via bell teleports? In either case, I think this is also an alternative idea worth exploring! Less dramatic, but also less controversial? (though would Alfred be a possessive jealous EX then? who knows..)

I want you to know though: I am actually kinda indifferent towards this ship by 'default', but while typing this reply I was going a little 😳 and thinking this is actually pretty great...? So, I've accidentally made YOU interested in it, and by YOUR interest, you've made ME interested in it- What is going onnnn dshhfdshdsf THIS IS TOO FUNNY HELP

P.S.: It is a no brainer that similar thinking applies to Ariadella in many parts! Adella only murders Arianna if she "dirtied" Hunter's blood for like three times, but in all cases, there is hope to look past fanatical brainwashing / glory and honour of ancestors respectively.. The way I see it, the message Miyazaki put here (and WOULD put here, considering his track record) is more "both sides were corrupt as fuck leeching on Yharnam in their own ways and this war was always pointless" than "church bad vampires good" fdsjhhdfs They all can talk..... this contradiction is so meaningless, ESPECIALLY if you are only continuing the ways of your ancestors before you had a choice to develop your own world-view. god. just talk, guys/girls....

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

That was my mistake, my source was basically just the overall atmosphere of the first chapters of Elysian Realm and how she was referred to as a traitor. Thank you for correcting me I did not mean to spread misinformation

Apology accepted! It's alright, you just got a bit carried away at the end of the day, but it's good to remember that most folks won't question "facts" if they have no prior reason to doubt them. We can't count on others to fact-check. Spreading speculation as fact is unfortunately VERY VERY EASY even when we don't mean to!

Adding stuff like "I think" or "My guess is" helps tamper credibility a little bit (though it's not anywhere near foolproof with word of mouth quoting instead of linking...). What I often do is that I go back and look for my sources mid-rant to make sure I'm not making anything up from half-remembered blurbs, when it's my own post I'll even add proof in the form of quotes or references.

Obviously there's no need to always go that far, no one wants fifty asterisks in your ask to source every statement and it's not too serious when it's just a fictional character, but do pay extra attention if you're talking about an actual person. Speculating about a fictional character ultimately just results in grumpy fans (usually). Making shit up about a stranger can have harsh consequences! Keep speculation to an absolute minimum there, even if they have rancid vibes, okay?

Keep in mind also, when you don't like the character (or person), you will subconsciously paint them in a less favorable light. Even neutral or kind acts may seem bad from a certain angle. They're just helping this grandma cross the street to make themself look better!

The inverse is also true, we will be inclined to trust and agree with people if they go along with what we already believe, like or feel is right. Everyone's point of view in the world is subjective, we will see what we want to see if we're not thinking things through, and gravitate towards an echo chamber that reinforces existing beliefs.

To circle back to the original point, you sent someone who hates Elysia information that made her out to be originally written as murderously narcissistic (admittedly less boring than what we got) which was not founded on actual facts, but very difficult to verify since it's scrapped content. Now, I know that this was an accident, a mistake on your part. That's okay! However.

Some people exploit this implicit trust maliciously for their own ends (like trying to cancel someone, or a character/ship they don't like). These people know that if they sound like they know their stuff, an audience won't think twice about it, all they need is a platform to spread their ideas even with no basis.

For example... they can send an anon ask to a relatively well-known blogger. They know they can even make themself sound innocent from planting the idea by asking it as a question. As long as people hear it, it doesn't matter if it's true in the slightest.

My point is, I will believe you in particular just made a mistake, but from what @cloud-ya's told me, there was an ask in her inbox doing that exact thing to the extreme. Specifically bringing up wild speculation about what Elysia would think of real-world events, framed in such a way as to make her sound like a terrible person. Elysia is a fictional character, she doesn't have opinions, any speculation thereof is projected onto her according to your own personal agenda.

Needless to say that's not appropriate in the slightest and highly manipulative. Deleted immediately. Asks like these should never see the light of day!

So, let us take it as a warning both for folks like you who send their thoughts, and folks like me who receive them, that we can all accidentally contribute to hatred and misinformation, even if it's an accident...

Let's keep everyone safe by paying attention to what we platform!

[felixstudios]

Infodump about Felix

Appearance rambles:

Even though he's covered in enby pride flags, Felix as a character isn't enby. I'm just projecting my pride onto his design since he's one of my main fursonas + he looks amazing in it

The pride flag on his backpack comes from a content pack someone named Trick made for me a long time ago. I asked for the texture to be changed and said surprise me, and that's what I got. I've kept it as his canon design since.

That also inspired me to add more enby flags to his design, which were added in with content packs {except the one on his shorts}.

The shirt and shorts are the ones they are 80% because I literally didn't know what else to wear and 20% because I actually thought it looked cool. Actually, that's... a lot of his outfit.

I got the shoes during ToonFest 2023 when all the previous codes became public. They look terrible on him and do not fit his color palette or aesthetic. I love them <3

He used to be a tall Toon, but I wanted to look closer in appearance to someone else's Toon so I changed him to a medium height Toon. He also used to be completely orange, but I gave him coral legs because I thought it was something I was obligated to do for being high laff because I saw all the high laff Toons with different colored legs. Past me, sweetie, those were elitists... but it's okay because now I love the coral legs and don't think they're an abomination!

Basically, he's very much thrown together from outside influences and I wouldn't change it for anything now because it became his "brand"

OC lore rambles:

So once upon a time a Toon named Ghostly Felix glitched so bad that his immersion in the world was completely broken and he realized he was in a video game. This was exciting at first and he hacked in max everything, cheated to be invisible so he could hilariously kill bosses with just bike horns or something, ETC.

But after a few years he got bored and basically started pondering his existence. So he created a Toon named Felix so he could be invisible and watch him complete the game so he'd have something to do. When just Felix was boring, he made Cap'n Felix, Doctor Felix, Mr. Felix, Judge Felix, Midnight Felix, Spooky Felix, Frozen Felix, Lucky Felix, Fairy Felix, Prince Felix... you get the idea.

Well, on the day Felix reached 140 laff he found Ghostly Felix by a weird glitch. At first Felix thought he was a new Felixverse addition, but realized that Ghostly Felix already had 140 laff and was acting really scared for some reason. Finally, Ghostly Felix spilled the beans about the fact it was a game and how he created the Felixverse

Felix was horrified to find out he was right, and he instantly got pretty bummed out and asked what the point of his existence is.

Eventually, this was his answer: "To have fun. You don't need to spend so long thinking about it or making it complicated- it really is that simple."

Other rambles:

His name is Felix because when I first played TTR, I tried to name him Shaun because that was my name at the time. It was instantly denied, so naive me thought "too many Toons must have that name already" and picked a random pick-a-name. I didn't expect to really get attached to my Toon or particularly care about him, which is also why he's such an obnoxious orange instead of literally any color I actually liked at the time. Well, orange is now my second favorite color because of him and I wouldn't change his appearance for the world.

He's not based off of a TTO Toon. I only remember one Toon I made in TTO, which was a red rabbit named Raboon {"rabbit" + "toon"}. I've already remade Raboon in TTR on a different Toon slot, but I didn't want to be a rabbit in TTR when I was first starting, I wanted to be a cat! So that's why I made a new Toon.

Originally when my Felixverse lore was much more resembling a kid's cartoon {yes the entire old lore that I told literally nobody was retconned lol}, he had a love interest Toon named Felixia. She was an orange cat who, like older cartoons, was basically supposed to be a copy/paste of him except feminine and cutesy. I do not have any Toons named Felixia in any of my TTR or TTCC accounts, but when I used to play Toontown Offline I did make her an unreasonably overpowered SOS Toon who would use marbles that did 200 damage.

Felix's name is actually pronounced in German, meaning that it's pronounced kinda like fae-lix rather than how most people pronounce it to me, which is fee-lix.

Speaking of his name, if it wasn't evident enough already, he was Felix before I was Felix. He basically became my identity online over time.

[prompt-master]

The Answer Was Within The Contradiction

A short fic: After the events of sdr2, Hinata finds himself attempting to recode Nanami. He and Kamakura talk about it

Before it all would have seemed like sci-fi nonsense to Hajime. A world made of zeroes and ones, a contagious disease made from the human psyche, an animalistic human slaughter game for outside entertainment. A synthetic girl.

There was a time before Hajime lived and indulged with this fictional world. And there was a time where he forced himself to be so interwoven with the fiction that a permanent reminder stared back at him in the mirror and whispered into his mind. All he had left was hindsight and painfully distinct memories.

"You are a paradox," Izuru told him often, "Your very existence is a word of defiance."

And once Hajime got a taste of defiance, he found himself craving it at all possible avenues.

"Haven't you already defied enough? Look around you."

Hajime knew he asked for too much every time he saw the bittersweet expression of a grieving man on Makoto's face, stark even behind a video screen. Hajime knew he was already quite possibly the luckiest unlucky guy next to Komaeda Nagito himself. He was here. He was alive. He was real. With most of his friends alive, when no one should be.

But it was that one lost friend that haunted him, that left Hajime hungry to defy the odds once again.

"There are things even we can't do."

Hajime suddenly inhaled sharply. He shoved away from his desk, allowing the office chair he was sitting in to roll back with the force. Count to ten. He reminded himself, head leaning over the backrest. He let the numbers roll over him, resisting the urge to start pulling out his hair.

It wasn’t about possibility anymore, this was about necessity. Hajime’s new life was defined by impossibilities lining themselves up into a confusing labarynth, but he would be damned if he couldn’t navigate it one way or another.

He wiped his brow, then muttered under his breath “Shut up.”

“I am free to speak my mind just as you are.”

“Yeah, well…” Hajime dragged himself back over to his desk, leaning over the computer. He was greeted not for the first or last time by complex codes weaving themselves in ways he would never properly understand. Yet, at the same time. He understood them perfectly. The breakets and loops and command lines built an unfinished art piece in his mind, one he craved to finish crafting. He began typing again, letting unknown knowledge blanket him once more. “You can at least keep it to yourself.”

“Why should I keep it from you, when we are so close to one another?”

Hajime resisted the urge to roll his eyes, Izuru really could act like a child at times. “Because it’s unhelpful. I only want to hear something helpful right now.”

“Then allow me to provide you with some advice.”

Hajime’s fingers jittered over the computer keys, stumbling to a halt. He tsked, wishing Izuru had a body outside his own so that he could kick him out of the room.

“You can not achieve your goal in the way you wish it to be achieved.”

“I didn’t ask for advice, especially not that nonsense.” Hajime glared at himself through the screen.

“It goes against basic logistics.”

“Well then, it’s a good thing that those basics mean nothing to me.”

"Allow me to provide meaning, then."

"I didn't sign up for Siri to be in my head…" Hajime mumbled under his breath. Izuru pretended he didn't hear the words.

"Coding is unique to the coder and without the original files or notes it is nearly impossible to replicate a project as complex as the one you chose."

Hajime felt a headache beginning to brew, attempting to tune out the points Izuru reiterated to him

Over

And over

And over and over.

Hajime bit his tongue, grinded his teeth, and held his breath. He tried to focus on his typing. Or the screen. But each "furthermore" and "lest we forget" caused a sizzling burn deep in Hajime's soul that made the characters blur.

"-You simply don't know what you're doing-"

With a snap and a pop the frustration built up enough that the world set itself on fire. Hajime slammed his hands down onto the desk. He was ready to strangle the man in his brain.

"Then why-" Hajime asked through gritted teeth, "Are you helping me?"

There was a great long pause. A pause where silence was his only answer. for a moment Hajime couldn't even feel the ever looming presence of Kamukura lingering over him. A few months ago, Hajime would have nearly collapsed from relief. He would have savored this sliver of peace in his hands. Instead, Silence felt synonymous with Emptiness.

Hajime roughly exhaled through his nose.

And perhaps, synonymous to Loneliness as well.

When Hajime felt the spark return to his fingers and mind, he hardly hesitated to return to frantically typing out line after line after line of code. He couldn't let the opportunity pass him. No matter how misplaced it felt.

It was odd really, getting to be so intimate with a man designed to be his replacement. But in the end as Hajime grew closer and closer by force he also realized there was an unnerving but comforting truth in their relationship. Hajime and Izuru were two parallel lines, similar in so many aspects that they nearly held the same formula, the same meaning. There was an inherit understanding of one another, and where they were heading. Despite the fact that Izuru was meant to be perfect where Hajime was flawed, Hajime couldn't help but be reminded of his younger self when he finally got to see Izuru in action.

But despite the parallelism that binded them together, there was a truth that could not be ignored. There would always be a distance between the two. No matter how close they became, they were asymptotic curves, they were parallel lines, they were never going to cross.

“... Do not ignore these valid critiques. I do encourage you to attempt such a feat, but you should be aware of what will never be.”

Hajime shook his head. He could feel the heartbeat pulsing within, he could feel the cold hand holding his on a summer morning, he could see the sweetest smile that sent sparks down his spine. She lay dormant under his fingertips, pressed between the little crevices of the keys. All he had to do was piece her back together, and then he would get to hear her say his name again.

He was pulled away from that image, as the cold bitter points reiterated themselves once again.

“AI by design is something difficult to replicate as it is ever changing and ever learning.”

“I know that.”

“As it learns, it changes how it will react to the information given to it in the future, which further shapes the AI. If this is true, it is nearly as difficult to recreate as a human consciousness, where each individual factor greatly shaped one's personality.”

“Ok. Cool.”

“And you do not have the original files that Nanami Chiaki-san was trained on.”

"I know."

“Even if you were to show this fabrication of a fabrication the killing game files, that would only offer the AI to train on it from a perspective outside of what the original Nanami-san experienced.”

“I know.”

“Then you must know that this could never be her.”

Hajime attempted to hide the burn of his tears from the

only

one

he couldn't hide them from.

In that moment, Izuru felt like a hand awkwardly hovering over his shoulder. Asymptotic. Parallel. Why oh why did they leave their Ultimate Hope so emotionally empty? What purpose did that serve? Why did they take that from IzuruHajime?

"I… simply cannot comprehend why you would willingly put yourself in the shoes of Sisyphus."

Hajime saw sparks in his vision with how roughly he kneaded his fists against his eyes. "I don't know what that means."

"This is a task that is clearly emotionally taxing for you. You have not slept or eaten properly since attempting it. I have been the one taking care of our body in your stead. One could consider this some form of self-inflicted torture. And yet you continue to push through it, while being fully aware of the impossibility of the task. All to bring her back."

"You said it yourself," Hajime mumbled, forcing himself back into those shoes. He continued typing, with a pain in his heart that felt akin to working with blistering burns on his fingertips. "I have hope. Or whatever."

"I feel as though I still don't fully understand hope."

"Did you even understand despair?" Hajime spat.

And loneliness answered.

"You can't understand what we had, either. You weren't there."

Hajime could feel the subtle rustle of Izuru's trademark annoyance, something only noticeable to someone sharing the same brain. Even Izuru lacked the emotional foresight to recognize the bristling emotion, no matter how muddled.

"I understand plenty. As the Ultimate Analyst-"

"It wasn't a statistic, it was a relationship. You couldn't understand. The only person you ever bonded with was Enoshima fucking Junko."

Count to ten. Count to ten.

Hajime didn't realize how shaky his breath had become, how furious his typing seemed. For all the bonding he and Izuru did after the Neo World Program there was still a part of Hajime that feared and resented him.

"... I believe that I did quite like the Nanami AI program."

But Hajime also pitied him.

"Did you even know her?"

"It wasn't long. We met for just one small conversation before I plugged the Enoshima Junko AI into the Neo World Program."

"So she knew…?"

"No. I temporarily shut her off before uploading it."

"Kamukura…" Hajime floundered to understand the point of all this. He just wanted to work. To create. To craft. To rebuild. He wanted her back. A part of him wondered if he was playing god but another part of him didn't care at all. He was willing to break all the rules if it meant there was a chance they could meet again.

Everyone else got a chance.

Izuru's voice was as bland as ever, but lined with softness that called his attention, "I understand why you want to rebuild her."

Hajime pursed his lips, "You're not going to tell me you want her rebuilt cuz she's some. Savant tech or something, right?"

"When I brought Enoshima Junko into the Neo Word Program, it was a test."

Hajime did roll his eyes this time. "You've told me this before."

Izuru had no clue on the proper standings of Hope vs Despair. He only knew the nonsense both Hope's Peak Academy and Enoshima Junko threw his way. With two extreme ends of the spectrum lining his vision, he found himself with a scenario he could not predict. He knew, but did not understand why, that Hajime would be placed into the game in his stead. And, he also knew that by placing Enoshima within his path he'd be creating the Ultimate Trial By Fire.

Hajime was proof Enoshima was wrong. Hajime was proof that hope could be just as powerful. Hajime was proof of the impossible. Hajime was the contradiction.

"You have a penchant for proving me wrong." Izuru said. "Perhaps you can do it again."

Maybe Izuru did understand Hajime's desperate desire, just a little bit.

After all, Izuru's photographic memory left him with an unexplainable moment to look back on. A moment he did not understand, yet could not stop reviewing.

Because of course, he remembered talking to the Neo World Program’s AI very briefly.

And even more unfathomable, he remembered quickly deciding to temporarily shut her off before uploading the Enoshima Junko AI. For what purpose? It's easy to find reasons after the fact: in case she had any safety protocols, so that she did not alert anyone of the unwanted addition, so she did not attempt to remove the file.

Izuru was the only one who knew he did it as an odd, questionable act of mercy.

He didn't think he would ever truly be able to pick apart the why's of his decision, none of it made a lick of sense. What mercy would Chiaki have truly been granted? She still would have been within the program, knowing something was wrong. She still ended up deleted, after watching multiple people she was entrusted to protect die. She left this world believing she had intrinsically failed at what she was supposed to do.

So what mercy had Izuru fooled himself into believing for that fraction of a second? So she wouldn't blame herself for the upload? So there was nothing she could have done?

Why had he even done anything in the first place? Why her?

Was it because they were both man-made creatures of hope? Nothing more than a programmable personality, the most useful tool available to their creators yet easily replaceable. Was it because neither of them were real people? Was it because, despite everything he had allowed to happen, she was happy to see him?

Or was it because the very circumstances of their births led them down a long, cursed, unlucky life?

Izuru was supposed to be a man made God. Izuru was intrinsically programmed to be able to do anything. To be even meaningless things like lucky. And yet, he wasn't. Even know, he finds himself with one of his first foggy thoughts of desire and he could not act on them. He was a God that couldn't create a miracle.

Hajime though? He was more than just lucky. He was sci-fi. He was fiction. He was the labyrinth. He was the impossible. The unknowable. The unpredictable. He was living proof that Nanami Chiaki could be reborn. His consciousness was tossed away like an outdated file, scraped and deleted without a single care. He was erased, destroyed, burned, mutilated. Murdered by his own design.

But here he stood.

He should have never been able to come back. Yet here he was, existing in a way that even Kamukura Izuru couldn’t fully understand. It was knowable, but not explainable. Why then, if this state of rebirth could exist for Hajime, could it not be extended to others? She at one point existed in this world in similar contradictory limbo, both alive and dead. Both sentient and programmed. Both human and fake. The question then was, if Hajime could survive through that same limbo, why can't she? If Hajime, a man who lived a majority of his life lacking any special traits, can be worthy of a second chance, then why can’t she?

He was proof of her existence.

“Hinata-kun?”

And she was proof of his.

[khaire-traveler]

Ok, I will try not to talk too much about this on here, since this blog isn't really about this type of content, but I need to nerd out to someone, none of my friends are into this, and this is my main blog, so here we go:

***BALDUR'S GATE 3 SPOILERS AHEAD; READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION***

This is mostly just me needing out and gushing, though, lol.

Ok, ok, so for the past five days, I have been fucking binge playing this game. I literally spent the first day I got it sitting around for, like, seven hours (don't be me, and make sure to get up for breaks if you're gonna do the same thing). I was - and still am - absolutely hooked.

I LOVE this game!!! It's the first DnD based game I've played, especially of this quality (even though my laptop runs it like shit and the lag is killer ☠️). I'm playing on Explorer, so it's been fairly easy and very story-focused. I find the lore so intriguing, and I'm so interested in seeing where the story goes! I haven't seen anything past the camp party after saving Halsin, though, so no spoilers please. 🙏

So, I started off with one playthrough, but I came in with the knowledge that you are able to romance the characters and such. I REALLY wanted to romance Astarion (as most people I see talking about the game lmfao), but my bitch ass just could not get his approval, no matter how hard I tried. It got to the point where he actually made fun of me after we saved Halsin and had the camp party. 😭 I honestly suspect he might've glitched out somehow, since I had read online that people have had similar issues with earning the trust and approval of companions. This definitely bummed me out, but I was still enjoying the game a lot.

Along with that, in my original playthrough, I literally forgot to seek out Lae'zel. I had planned on doing it, but I just didn't know where to go, and by the time I had met Gale, I honestly forgot about finding her because I had to get offline at that point. 💀 I felt really bad about it, and I only went to go look for her after saving Halsin because I was reminded of her, and she had already broken out of the cage and killed the two tieflings who trapped her. I felt so bad that I just left her there on her own all that time. ☠️

After realizing that I wouldn't be able to recruit her until a bit later, I just decided to restart my playthrough on different save files. I figured I'd also at least get a proper chance with Astarion as well (love him so much; he is my meow meow 💕), and all while still playing as the character I took quite literally two hours to make (I was very indecisive about them lol).

So far, the new playthrough has been going very well, and I'm actually pretty happy that I restarted, since I had also apparently missed the scene of Astarion sharing his vampiric nature as well as some very key information from, and about, Lae'zel. I'm only about seven hours in right now, but I feel like I've somehow gotten more done in this playthrough than I did in my original which had something like fifteen hours. I've explored places I didn't even realize existed, picked up a ridiculous amount of loot, and even acquired all the companion characters that I know of in the First Act. It's been extremely successful! Not to mention things with Astarion are going very well. 🥰

Anyway, I've been enjoying this game a lot! This is my first ever time playing it; I didn't have Early Access and hadn't even heard of it until my friend told me about it this past Sunday lol. I'm honestly really glad that I got this game, despite the price of it and the price I had to pay for a new storage drive for my laptop in order to run it. It was certainly lots of money spent, but it was definitely money well spent.

I feel like my perspective on the world around me has changed slightly from playing this game (in a positive way). I feel a lot more curious about things than before, and I'm more inclined to take spontaneous risks which has always been a struggle for me beforehand. I also kind of feel like I can talk to other people a lot easier as well, as strange as that sounds. I play a Bard in the game, so my character has high charisma and stops to talk to other characters a lot, and I'm not really sure why, but seeing my character interact so easily with others has kind of inspired me in a way and helped to make social situations a lot more comfortable for me (I have social anxiety, so talking to people has always been pretty tough). As unusual as it may sound, this game has already changed me in such positive ways as a person, and I can't wait to see what other lessons it may have to teach. ☺️

All of that said, I couldn't recommend Baldur's Gate 3 more! It's genuinely one of those games that I think anyone can pretty much enjoy, and I also appreciate how inclusive it is with gender stuff and queer relationships. The other characters even refer to me with the correct pronouns, despite me never needing to enter my pronouns in! It's a very impressive game, and the graphics are absolutely gorgeous (especially when your laptop isn't absolute shit like mine lmao). Frankly, it's just great!

Of course, being so new, it does have its problems. I've personally experienced lots of lag issues - dialogue and animations won't be in sync, characters taking a long time to go from one location to another, environments not loading in very quickly, etc. I've also had the game crash on me a few times, but I honestly believe it's more related to my laptop than it is to the game, and for the most part, it hasn't caused me too much grief.

Despite its flaws, I personally believe this game is very much worth a play. It's loads of fun, and the characters are pretty charming and entertaining. The storyline is interesting with lots of twists and turns, and if you ever get bored of the mainline quest, there are literally endless sidequests for you to enjoy. Exploration is highly encouraged, and as you explore the realm, your map actually reveals the locations you've been to. Fast travel is also a super great feature, although there are some locations I wish that were on there that aren't, sadly.

Ok, I've...talked a lot, so I'm going to stop now. 😂 Thank you to anyone who actually read all this, and I hope you have fun playing or watching someone else play, if you plan on doing either! Take care. 🧡🪽

[silencingspellsongs]

haha ok and now for a theory on something no one asked for: blake

let's get silly with it

so i wanna talk about this:

(this is from the lore drop post on patreon from march btw)

Seers dont exist in the Imperium. Reading that one little line while i was actually just looking for that post so i could see the names of the cornerstone cities has now resulted in a full theory as to what this means about blake being in the imperium.

in the first imperium video blake is there in kody's splicer group. he's barely important at all but at one point he says "i'm not a dreamwalker—" but gets interrupted. we already know blake's not a dreamwalker because in the prime universe he's a seer just posing as a dreamwalker. originally i blew this line off because i was just like "yeah, he's probably referencing being a seer!" but according to the lore, seers dont exist in the imperium. no one else switches powers between the two universes so it seems a little odd to think erik just gave him different powers in the imperium? i mean maybe that's what happened, but what if there's a different answer behind it? what if blake's been lying in the prime universe, not only about being a dreamwalker, but about being a seer? 👀

now i know what you're thinking: "ok Argent, if he's not a dreamwalker, which yeah we know he's not a dreamwalker, and he's not a seer even though that's what we've been told he is, then what is he? hm? if he's not a seer then how does he know that his listener is gonna die? how does he know about elliott and sunshine coming to close knit? you're overlooking vital details!!" and to that i put my hands on your shoulders and i give you a gentle smile. i lean in close and i whisper into your ear:

"he's a time traveller."

you pull back from me, shock and confusion evident on your face as if i just spoke blasphemy. "Y-y-you can't just say something so completely wild, so unsubstantiated, so... so...." "crazy?" i offer, the tranquil smile still painted across my face. i giggle demurely. "maybe so. maybe i have let the allure of theorizing, the hypnotic spinning of the red strings, drive me to the brink of insanity. but i don't make this statement blindly," i hold out a hand to you, and the curiosity grips you as i continue, "will you allow me to show you? will you join me in Pandemonium, where we let assumptions and meta fuel our delusions?" you cautiously take my hand and we fall together. down, down, down into the rabbit hole.

now lets get into it. in the 2022 anniversary video, during the bonus round of lore trivia when erik asked questions based on things no one could actually know the answers to, he asks a question about his original plans for the 2021 valentines video and one of the possible answers is "introduction of a time traveller boyfriend" which means that a time traveller character IS possible in the redactedverse and also something erik has considered before. also important to point out: blake's first video was posted march 2021, so is it not within the realm of possibilities that blake was that time traveller boyfriend all along? or at least has the time traveller angle reworked into his character?

and if you think about it logistically, it seems like it would be really easy for a time traveller to pose as a seer (posing as a dreamwalker oof blake you are like inception over here). he doesn't have to be able to "see" the future if he's already lived it. now of course i cannot even begin to try and act like i know anything about what time travel would be like in the redactedverse, but i would think there would be some commonality between the two... both have to do with time, whether it's seeing it or being able to jump through it. maybe they share the ability to master other magic easily, which would make blake's dreamwalking skills still make sense.

now so far the only seers we really know are morgan and his listener (please morgan return soon and give us more seer lore 🙏🏻) and so we've gotten some lore from them, like how seers are faced with the vision of their own death. in blake's case he doesnt ever seem concerned at all about his own death, instead he is desperately ready to do anything he can to save his listener from their own impending death. now that could easily be explained away in a few ways like his obsession for them outweighing his own self preservation or the fact that most people wouldnt like casually bring up the fact they've seen their own death into conversations so maybe it just hasn't come up yet, but it felt important to mention so onto the corkboard it goes.

(i was gonna bring up avior and starlight with this too but hm is it just fan theory that blake was the closeknit dreamwalker that avior was feeding on that sent them to the shadow realm or has that been confirmed at any point?? i'm getting ready to relisten to sovereign state for the first time since my initial listen so maybe i'll remember more after that oops 🫣)

also just wanna say it sure seems weird that ol blakey boy doesn't react at ALL to the inversion happening. like morgan confirmed that all the seers basically saw the vision of the inversion happening like the second the rift opened but blake was just chilling in his bestie's apartment hanging out while a vision of a horrible influx of monsters coming down to kill everyone would've just popped into his head. i get that the guy doesn't care much for anything besides his listener and he already knows about shades and stuff but like..? no reaction, not even like a gasp of surprise that he covers up like "no don't worry, it's nothing..." it seems like it would make SOME sort of an impression. unless he's already experienced the inversion happening 🤔 and that's why it's not at all shocking to him to know it's happening that night, because he's there with them and he knows they're safe and maybe it's all playing right into what he wants anyways. (ok i know logically the reason the inversion isn't mentioned until the moment it IS mentioned is bc erik wanted that drama of us realizing that elliott couldn't get help from the department bc inversion just HAPPENED and also we didn't know blake was a seer yet anyways but like work with me here let me cook)

now lastly i just wanna talk about what blake being a time traveller would mean in regards to his listener. ya'll know of the butterfly effect right? any life is stranger gamers in the chat tonight? blake's whole purpose has become this gnawing need to stop his listener's coming death. he says he's seen it happen, no matter what he's done to try and stop it. the circumstances of it always change but it ALWAYS happens at the same time. even brachium seems surprised that a seer couldn't just see what caused it and avoid it, and blake says it must be because of something beyond this plane so he can't see it. which yeah is probably what the truth is bc it makes sense. buuuuuuut we're having fun over here in fantasy land and i'd rather throw into the ring the idea that their death is caused by blake meddling with the time stream. maybe they died and he, lost in his grief, jumped back to try and find a way to stop it only for it to happen again. and again. and again. or maybe they weren't destined to die originally. maybe blake wasn't able to reconnect with them, maybe they blew him off and he wanted a do over because he couldn't stand not having them in his life. so he jumped back and tried again to reconcile and this time it worked and he was so happy but then they died, in his arms. and the cycle began.

i want more than anything for blake to be fighting tooth and nail, ready to burn down the entire world just to be able to save his lover only to learn that it was his own fault that they are destined to die. because his inability to accept that they just weren't meant to be together forced him to break time and the result was that their life now would end, always.

i just think it would be neat 🙂

anyways hi. time traveller, pretty wild to throw out there i know. but the idea hit me and all the pieces slowly started to fit into place (or maybe i just started jamming all the pieces together until they were forced to fit lol). but for real this theory is just for fun and not to be taken too seriously because it is all built off of assumptions and the random fact that erik said there were no seers in imperium and yet blake was there. now if he decided to retcon any of that stuff as he is allowed to do bc this is his silly little world and he makes the rules, then my entire theory falls apart and i wasted my monday at work putting this together ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ oh well

[lexpressobean]

Shino was a good student and is also considered a good Shinobi in general, but it's because he was essentially Brainwashed to a greater extent than the rest of the Konoha 13, second only to Sai. And that's probably super obvious but Imma talk about it anyway, take a peak if you'd like lol

It's the same reason why Choji was originally one of the worst students and as he got older and more experienced, still wasn't up to speed like some of the others in general, allegedly. Shino and Choji both come from Noble Clans, and by the time they're both 17, have a great amount of skill in their own way. And sure, Asuma as a Sensei was noted to complain a lot about Choji, but I think its at least partly because Choji was not brainwashed by the school to a great enough extent. And his obviously loving parents and fellow Akimichi Clan Members certainly did not try to remedy that either. It doesn't show in his character like it does for Shino and the Aburame. Neji is considered a great Shinobi, even better than Shino by Rank. And he was RIGHTFULLY angry, but dude had such a warped sense of his own worth and existence due to his Dad being put to death because of the Situation, being a literal slave, and then finding out his Dad willingly chose to die instead of fighting for his life??? Neji was considered a Noble but he was treated cruelly and spiritually beaten down by his own family to become the Shinobi he was. School probably just gave him some desperately needed structure.

Like, Shino comes from an obviously powerful clan, yet even so, Shibi as the Head of that clan was powerless to keep Torune from being taken by Danzo. And Shino might have witnessed all of that as a young child, but he likely understood most of what happened very well. So how were Shibi and the rest of the Aburame Clan going to justify such a thing? The only way to explain it to Shino and keep him from looking for Torune and causing trouble along the way would be to make Shino think of Torune's selection and following abduction as a Good Thing. It was an Honor for Danzo to come to the Aburame, and Torune acted like a True Shinobi, a prime example of what it means to be Loyal to and Love the Village. And the fact that Shino was originally the one chosen to go doesn't mean Shino wasn't good enough in the end. This all just has to be kept as secret as possible, and Shino is already a student at the Academy. This is so that Enemy Ninja don't find out so easily. But they all know, and will always know. So Shino should not cry or fret. Shino is just as much Devoted to the Village as Torune, right? Torune wanted to do this, so Shono should not disparage his choices with tears and sadness...

... Framing it as an especially good thing would have to have been the only way to pacify an otherwise complely terrified and hugely upset Shino. And the only way to cope with what happened would be to believe it was a good thing, to believe all that bullshit everyone else told him. And Shino really would. It would always feel bad, and the trauma would still affect him in a variety of ways. The survivor's guilt. The feelings of inadequacy caused by Danzo's choice to reconsider Torune instead, which spared Shino instead of Torune. The new knowledge that some people in the village are so strong that just their words could make Shibi visibly panic. Knowing Danzo could always come back if he wanted to. But still, it's all worth it, because it was a Good Thing. Shino tries to, and really just has to actively deal with all that... at least until he gets older. And starts to use his developed critical thinking skills to question Konoha's inner workings and politics, especially after Naruto's supposed influence. He'd soon realize how fucked up it all really was with a clearer and more human and personal view on things. He might try talking to Shibi about it, but Shibi wouldn't give him the chance. Shibi doesn't want to even think about it. But at that point, Shino could easily piece together what a dilemma it really was for his father. There was no solution, only two bad options his father would have had to live with...

Torune wasn't loyal to the Village. He didn't love the Village. Torune was loyal to Shibi for treating him like a son, and he loved Shino like a little brother. That's why he did what he did...

Like... how is this shit still not properly explored in canon? Why set up such a situation, at the very end, only to ignore it completely anyway!? Why did we get these tidbits so late in the game when Shino was set up to just be a snooty and sometimes quite an unlikable guy in the series?

[painted-starlight]

I was thinking about your post regarding passivity and naivety in specifically white princesses and tbh it's one of the reasons why I was so confused by frozen 2 (I haven't watched it but I do know the plot). I know Elsa and Anna are Sámi, so they're not white, but it felt like the second movie could've been used to give Elsa and Anna stronger characterisations. I think the chosen one narrative doesn't fit Elsa at all bc it did make her passive. Which sucks - first Sámi queen and they didn't even allow her to seek out Ahtohallan by herself? They literally used a magic voice to force her to leave the castle, when she could have just had an uneasy feeling and acted on that instead. Also I read up on her character and apparently she likes academic subjects like geometry as well as being artistic but the movie didn't make use of this?? I have a lot of thoughts on this movie but I just wanted to share this tidbit lol.

Frozen 2 is such a strange movie to me. The Chosen One narrative is so out of left field, especially since it feels like it’s a holdover from the earlier “prophecy” version of Frozen when Elsa was prophesied to cause an eternal winter.  It later scrapped and we got the current version of the movie, which is a more bare bones version of the story they clearly wanted to tell.

In my personal opinion (and this is purely speculation), the characterization mistakes are due to the frankly huge amount of discarded drafts of the original Frozen movie that were scrapped and then put back in for the second movie without much thought about how it would mesh with the “final” draft of the original Frozen. They didn’t take into account the changes they made to these characters, settings, and world building. And they most likely thought that they could sneak it back in when it no longer fit.

It’s clear to me that there is a version of Frozen out there that the production team really, really loved but they couldn’t make because audiences weren’t connecting with it. And with the subsequent changes, some even being major shifts in the story (like taking Elsa from a villain to a hero), I can sort of see what the thought process was, because Frozen 2 makes so much more sense when you piece it together with the older versions of Frozen.

In the original, Elsa was prophesied to make an eternal winter, so she was hated. But when you take Frozen 2 as a continuation of this story that no longer exists, this “prophecy of doom,” becomes a “chosen one” story. It’s a reversal of expectations and turns her from villain to heroine. But that already happened in the first movie, so it doesn’t apply.

However, the Frozen that was released into the mainstream has a different theme that it lends itself to. It explores the idea of loneliness and finding who really loves and supports you, and building something from that. This is why a “chosen one” story doesn’t work. People were aching for Elsa to find other people who are like her, who have powers like her. Not a simple power fantasy.

And the introduction of her mother’s Sami community has the making of being such a great addition because it would offer a different perspective on her powers, which has been said to being coded as indigenous. What if they embraced the very powers that she was told were dangerous? How would that look? How would people in this community use their own powers? Why weren’t there people in there that also had ice magic? How would it be used, and what would their place be within their community? What if there are other communities in other places that are just like her?

The Chosen One strips the audience of that sense of community, it’s actually isolating because it makes her “special,” and “one of a kind” when finding the people who truly love you to build a new life with was one of the major themes of Frozen.

Elsa doesn’t delve too deep into the Northuldra perspective on how they view magic and their personal relationship with it. The story feels like it is distant from their perspective at times, with focusing too much on how her father, who’s view is very biased, viewed them.

Elsa has a friend in Honeymaren and she lives with the Northuldra, which is interesting, but we don’t see her really communicating on a community level with the people who have the greatest connection to her mother. Personally, I wanted more characterization from them too.

[jemgirl86]

So, in the past 2 days, with 2 different friends, I’ve discussed actors being asked questions about shipping. And I’ve come to the conclusion, probably because I’m an elder millennial lol, and can remember before the words “shipping” and “fandom” were tossed around in casual conversation, and also because I’ve watched a shit ton of tv, that I might have a fairly unpopular, or at least different, opinion about the whole thing.

Quick note: I’m not picking on anything or anybody. This is just my two cents…

Okay, so, I think my main problem with this whole thing is twofold:

1. I’m sick of how these questions are being asked.

2. I’m sick of all parties involved acting brand new.

When I say I’m sick of the framing what I mean is, I’m tired of “fandom” and or fandom shit being brought up by interviewers and being used as a scapegoat/reason for them to ask questions they were always going to ask anyway, and have been asking about couples on various shows since FOREVER lol.

What do I mean? Well, at its core, the Syd/Carmy dynamic - the way it is presented and written, whether anyone wants to admit it or not - is a “will they/won’t they” relationship, in the most classic sense. Now, “will they, won’t they” might not have have been the original plan when the show was developed, which is often the case. They might’ve gotten to set and the actors just had natural chemistry together. However, at this point, the writing and direction has fed into it, also whether they intended to or not, at least to a certain degree, and no this isn’t a “men and women can’t be friends” thing, lol, they’re already friends on the show, and that doesn’t have to change, but their friendship isn’t stopping the other tension from bleeding through.

It’s a tale as old as time… Sam & Diane… David & Madelyn… Fran & Maxwell… Kyle & Maxine… Jim & Pam… Mulder & Scully… Janine & Gregory… etc etc, I could literally go on forever, especially if I started counting soap opera couples lol. These “we work together, or spend a lot of time together, it’s kind of antagonist, but in a fun way, we could be friends, or even enemies, sometimes we might legitimately fight, but also, sometimes it looks like we might kiss” relationships between the male and female leads have always existed, and interviewers have always discussed them, and questioned the actors about them, and it ain’t got shit to do with anything fandom posts online.

Which is why the following excerpt annoyed tf out of me:

She’s also been made aware of the (seemingly) sizable group of Carmy-Sydney shippers that have appeared, rising from the Twitter mist to declare their allegiances to an imaginary romance. These fan theories are something of a pain point for Edebiri, who says she is grateful that people are so engaged with the show, but that it’s “frustrating.” She adds: “It’s really not our thought process when we’re making the show, and I understand it can be part of a show’s culture — but I don’t think they’re going to get what they want.” Gordon told THR that while she also doesn’t subscribe to the shipper theories, she believes it’s a testament to the work of Storer, White, and Edebiri that they’re able to create something so passionate. “I think it’s incredibly cool to have this dynamic onscreen that isn’t romantic, but that feels charged and sexy,” she said.

Narratively speaking, Edebiri isn’t actually sure that Carmy should be in a relationship with anyone (“It’s TV, do you want to see Walter White go to therapy and then reunite with his family?” she asks with a laugh), but admits that she can’t resist falling — platonically! — for the character’s complicated charms. “I love this little fucked up guy in the kitchen,” she says before quickly self-editing. “Or wait, this messed-up guy.” (The more she reads her own interviews, the more she sees her own explicit language: “I think I do it when I’m telling a joke, like I’m putting a swear in there to let you know I’m saying a joke — it’s something for me to reflect on.”)

At this point, I remember — and bring up — a tweet I saw recently, that drew a line between the many years that Succession fans spent caring (deeply) about the show’s (deeply) damaged men and the way they were able to quickly jump to the stage of “babygirlifying” the men of The Bear. She looks aghast, the parasocial implications a step too far even for someone from her inherently online cohort. “That is so Internet,” she manages, her expression a flash of the face-acting that has become a hallmark of her Emmy-nominated performance.

That entire passage was weird and not because of “fandom,” or because a fan got out of pocket, but because a journalist working in the entertainment industry forgot how to do their job, and it made an actress not give the answer (I’d like to think) she’d give if she’d been asked the standard question.

Whoever the hell worked at Entertainment Tonight back in the day: “So are David & Maddie finally going to get together this season?”

Bruce Willis, in 1986 probably: “Well, ET anchor, you’ll just have to watch and see” *winks at camera*

Is that a real quote? No. Is that exactly like something I’ve heard before. Yes. Like… this is not rocket science lol. I have seen a version of that question asked (and answered) hundreds of times throughout my entire life about various tv couples without making it a big weird thing, whether they bring up fans or not. Hell, the journalist could’ve said: “Will Syd & Carmy ever get together? Viewers are dying to know.” And it would’ve been fine, totally normal, but instead they wrote all that and made it as weird as possible, to what? Throw fandom culture and shipping under the bus I guess…

But, see, my beef with this, and situations like this one in particular is, this isn’t a shipping issue. This isn’t an interviewer springing a question on an actor about a fanon relationship that no person with a functioning brain or any sense of reality could ever think would go canon. This isn’t someone asking about something impossible, some MCU fanon ship that only the most delusional 12 year old in the world would think they were ever going to see date anywhere other than their own Google Doc.

Whether you like Syd/Carmy or think they have all the chemistry of a wet paper towel, realistically, you still know that them getting together isn’t something TPTB at their particular studio will never allow… they’re just something that hasn’t happened yet, that might never happened, but still, at this point, just hasn’t happened yet. Something that one of the leads refers to as a “charged and sexy” dynamic.

I don’t know how to break it to the interviewer or the segment of society that seems to have gotten amnesia, and forgotten one of the oldest tv tropes around, but a “charged and sexy dynamic” between two leads on a show that hasn’t yet ended is a… ding ding ding, you guessed it folks, a “will they, won’t they” dynamic.

And here’s the thing, most of The Bear’s viewers and probably most of the people who think Syd & Carmy would be cute together NEVER stick a toe in fandom, will never ever read a fanfic, might not even know what all fandom entails, they’re just like the boomer guy I see at the coffee machine sometimes, they enjoyed the show and think “Carmy & Syd would be good for each other” lmaooo. They watch it the way I watch The Good Wife lol. They don’t ship Carmy/Syd - they’ve literally never heard that word used like that before. And they’re definitely not about to engage with other fans online in any significant way, it’s a water cooler show for them… much like Cheers actually.

Soooo leave fandom and fans, and the tweets you saw on Twitter, and the fics that got posted on ao3 out of your questions… and out of your answers too, tbh. Because at the end of the day, if everyone was honest with themselves for five fucking seconds, Syd & Carmy don’t fall into the “will they, won’t they” category because some people involved in online fandom, in any capacity, posted anything on ao3, Tumblr, Twitter, or anywhere else. Fandom as we know it could have never existed, and an entertainment journalist would still be asking Ayo & Jeremy something related to the potential of their characters’ having a romantic relationship, and anyone who’s ever watched a television show before damn well knows it. So, stop framing it as questions you’re bringing up because of shipping nonsense from a crazy fandom, frame it the same way you would’ve in 1986, before Twitter, and leave fandom out of it. If people want to be pissy they need to save it for the fans @‘ing actors with nonsense, and the fans ready to riot over fanon ships they knew were never going to happen. But being mad at someone who sees the possibility of a Syd/Carmy pairing at this point would be like being mad at someone in 1993 for thinking Maxwell Sheffield and Nanny Fine might end up together…

Ijs… if you wouldn’t frame that person as crazy because they saw an “imaginary romance,” then maybe look deeper lol.

It seems like I’m picking on The Bear in this rambling mess lol, but they’re just a recent example, so I used them because I’m tired of people conflating two issues. Yes, asking actors shipping questions is weird… when you’re doing it about two characters, you, me, the milk man, the lady down the street and the man on the moon, all know will never get together. But… ummm no, a reporter asking Cybil Shepherd in 1985 if her & Bruce Willis’ characters would eventually be together actually wouldn’t have been weird, and I think everyone knew that back then, so I’m trying to figure out why people are pretending not to know it now.

Yes, some people in fandom are unhinged: acting nutsy bobos because their ship that truly was just a ship didn’t go canon, even though even the Scarecrow could’ve told them it wasn’t going to happen; seeing queerbait where there was never queerbait; contacting writers/actors/etc. directly with their thoughts, opinions, and fantasies 🤢, instead of DM’ing that mess to their cousin/sister/friend or sharing it on their blog (lol) like a normal person. However, sometimes, really, a lot of time, it’s not the fandom at all. In fact, the fandom be minding their own fucking business, and the journalists (and actors) wouldn’t even know about fandom stuff if they didn’t go poking around.

And other times, times like this one, stuff gets framed as being nutty shipper shit, when it’s just regular viewer shit. Because, again, no reporter ever waited until Niles and Daphne kissed on screen to ask either actor if their characters would ever get together, so I need this journalist and others like them to please spare me the bullshit of acting like the only reason they fixed their mouth to ask Ayo about the possibility of Syd/Carmy was because of some “shippers” and “their allegiances to an imaginary romance.”

There is only one reason I could see any entertainment journalist back in the day, pre-internet, not asking about the possibility of a romance between these two characters in particular, and it ain’t got shit to do with their dynamic.

But that’s another long ass rambling post for another slow work day lol.

Idk how to wrap this up other than to say, fans and fandoms as a whole are more visible now than ever before. And lately the behavior of some fans has been off the hook lol (though realistically I’d argue that some of that behavior is sometimes encouraged, in one way or another, by TPTB), but that doesn’t mean we have to overcorrect by blaming fandoms for things that they aren’t responsible for, and it really doesn’t mean that we have to start acting like online fan communities created things that have existed, long before the online fan community in question. Folks are so mad at all fandoms and all fans, they can’t even tell the difference between the musings of an obsessed stan & the general curiosities of a casual viewer, and it’s got honest to god journalists conflating rabid shipping discourse with “oh I think they’d be cute together,” and forgetting that casual viewers even exist and still have opinions, and it’s very very weird.

Bring Back Normal Interviews 2024 lol

ETA: You want to know what’s funny? As I’ve said before, I don’t even want them together lol. Syd is my fave, and I think Carmy is about to (unintentionally) ruin her life. But, still, I couldn’t bite my tongue, so to speak, because it really grinds my gears when a bunch of people expect me to sit back and pretend I don’t see the same themes and dynamics I’ve seen countless times, and pretend that I’m only seeing certain questions being asked because of fans on Twitter… even though we all know that’s not true 🙃

ETA Again: Since I referenced it more than once, I feel like it’s only fair to mention that Moonlighting is actually infamous for being the reason that a lot of times even when the chemistry is off the charts between two leads on a popular show, TPTB will refuse to put them together. The episode of Moonlighting where the two main characters finally got together was the most watched episode… but it was all downhill from there. It ruined the show according to everyone and their mamas lol (though that’s not entirely fair). Anyway, the tension and chemistry and buildup was suddenly gone, and the show was no longer fun. The story goes that viewers gave up on it, and it became a cautionary tale about how you should always make the “will they, won’t they” of it all last as long as possible, or your show might die lol

[fizzigigsimmer]

"But the writer’s intentions are obvious. We're supposed to understand that Billy is a bully who just enjoys hurting people. It’s not that deep".

Well I disagree with their take. What then? And actually it's not my responsibility to peek between the cracks of a narritive to figure out what the writers mere intentions for a character were - even if I often do and and enjoy doing so. Look if the writer has something definitive they want the audience to know or understand about the character it’s their responsibility to strongly convey that message. And I’m still free to disagree btw, and point out the flaws in their understanding of people that helped them decide these things about the character. And in that same vein, it is no viewers responsibility to hold a writer’s poorly conveyed intention for a character above their own authentic response to what was actually presented as well as the possibilities left unexplored. If we all did that a great deal of media would not exist, and fandom certainly could not. Art is a call and response medium. The artists intent informs, but it can not dictate the response of the audience.

So it’s kind of funny to me how selective some fans are about when they care about the writers intent. Cause I would argue that we the audience are meant to understand certain things about Steve, that have hilariously been rejected by the fandom as a whole. Pre Nancy we’re supposed to understand that Steve was a stereotypical 80s teen bully who just enjoyed hurting people, capable of any and all heinous acts (including the sexual assault of the heroine). We know this by the writers own admission. Obviously they decided to pivot from that more damning storyline in favor of a redemption arc, but that just left us with a lot of people merely talking about Steve’s past while relying on the audience to already be familiar with the stereotype for their imagination to do the rest of the work.

His past as a bully is not fleshed out in any great detail, leaving an open canvas for our imaginations. It’s a win for them. They have free space to fill in the blanks later if they feel like it, or they could just not. Because we get it right? We understood their intentions and that’s all that’s needed right? <<< this is sarcasm. You see that this is a sloppy and lazy way to build a character right? It also creates problems that you might otherwise avoid. When the narrative leaves too much blank space or relies too heavily on the audiences familiarity with tropes and references, they will inevitably create a character in their minds that isn’t the same one the writers might decide to develop later on.

In Season 5 the Duffers could introduce a character who says Steve bullied someone they loved into suicide and that is their villian origin story. And although it would be false to say that this is “out of character” for Steve and something he never would have done, you can bet your ass that if this was backstory they decided to develop for him that would be the major complaint in fandom. Fans would be seriously hurt and disappointed by this and it wouldn’t even necessarily be their fault. They were set up to fail.

But this proposed storyline wouldn’t truly be out of character at all, because it works with what they have told us at least once an episode for four seasons about Steve. He was a big bully, enough to justify why he apparently needs to be a whipping post every season and constantly be apologizing for his past. When this happens and he does this, we all understand that he is doing penance for all the bullying and assholery we can literally only imagine he must have done; but is it enough? Not for good writing, no. I know I am not alone in being tired of this and feeling like they either need to give me some major context that explains just what he did that was so awful or stop.

Not only are most of us tired of the “Steve is making up for the past” narrative rod, because the narrative never actually showed us Steve doing anything remotely deserving of this never ending arc of penance, the audience has already rejected the Duffers intentions for Steve Harrington and embraced the character nurtured by their own perception.I will repeat, Beloved, the audience failed to understand. In the minds of the audience Steve Harrington is everything BUT a bully. He's bae. A misunderstood loverboy just waiting to swoop in and be the perfect boyfriend to whichever character they relate to most. He’s daddy. He’s baby. He’s a fluffy cinnamon roll and a surrogate mother who never cusses where his littles can hear him, the leader of the local BLM chapter, and he’s here to tell you that it does in fact get better #Bi #Icon. 😂

His flaws are all justified by the imaginary abuse he must have suffered at the hands of parents that (at best) we can infer from the canon are neglectful. And don’t get me wrong neglect is in fact a form of child abuse and I don’t deny that. I’m just saying it’s not a lot to go on. They literally gave us nothing and used the excuse that his parents are distant to never have to think about them again. And people use that glaring sloppiness to white wash the straight forward narrative (however lazy and uninspired) that he was a raving 80s teen movie sterotype purely for the sake of being one and then he fell in love with a good girl and came to jesus. 😆 The fact that Steve is one of the few characters to actually display homophobia is lost in the annals of time for a lot of fandom, in favor of exploring explicit sexual attraction between him and insert male of choice Billy. Do not fucking @ me, you were there! You saw it. Joe Kerry did not give one flying fuck and neither do I. Love that for him honestly.

I enjoy rejecting the soggy pile of Character Oh’s - All your favorite tropes, same great taste! the Duffers like to serve up, in order to read between the lines and explore the unexplored as much as the next Steve fan. Love that for me! And unlike a lot of people I actually appreciate exploring the darker side of the character, but that’s just me. I’m Billy, out here wanting to see this King Steve I keep hearing about. 😂 Where is he at Duffers?!!!!

So coming back to the subject of Billy, I’m going to end this with ‘fuck off. I understood the writers intentions just fine.

[stabberghost]

how did you come with your ocs??? i lov all of their designs and concepts and would love to hear your thought process behind it all hehehe

OHH WONDERFUL QUESTION. Ohh man this post is gonna be really long I'm sorry.

i usually come up with what they teach first and then go on trying to imagine what they'd look like. its usually a somewhat long process for me

for b. happy, he wasn't really supposed to teach about emotions at first. i almost considered making him teach about fame and comedy but something in my head was like "comedy = laughter = happiness = emotion" and I was like OH MY GOD. IM A GENIUS. if I didn't come up with him being an emotions teacher he wouldn't exist at all really. instead of happy I wouldve made mic take his place and teach about being a famous comedian instead. Good god can you imagine

yeah I'm also showing concept art idgaf

after i made happy i had an idea for another oc but this time they would teach about acting and drama. you already know this is about comedy and tragedy but they were originally one person, with tragedy being the host and her having comedy as a seperate mask on his head that would occasionally talk to them. basically some kind of evil parasite. Although I ended up splitting them into two different people as i felt like it would be better

AND FINALLY PERI!!!! It took me a while to design her honestly ! I came up with the idea of a character that taught about how dangerous the world can be, without realizing THEYRE a danger to the world itself. I wanted something related to caution and hazard signs so she was gonna be a really tall stop sign at first... But i thought that was basic as hell so THANK GOD you guys don't have to deal with stop sign peri. Not pictured because i didnt draw it but after I trashed her stop sign design she was gonna be an armadillo! I thought it made sense since she's a really skittish and nervous character, she could curl up and hide in her shell. Buuut I immediately scrapped that idea Rest in piece armadillo peri

out of all of them peri was by far my most favorite one to conceptualize and design. she was such a fun character to work with

little fun fact. I've definitely said it before but they had other names! After i posted b. Happy for the first time, I thought his name was goofy and was gonna rename him to Mr. Smiley, but the post was gaining a lot of notes and so I thought. Why even bother with the name change!

comedy and tragedy also had names at first, those names being connie and tracey. Comedy and tragedy were originally placeholder names but i ended up settling on those ones because it just. Fit yknow

It took me about a day to come up with peri's name. I wanted her to be named after dangerous chemicals and whatnot, and i told myself that if i couldn't find a name for her i would have to name her methyl bromide. Literally. But I ended up naming her after the periodic table itself

ANYWAYS SOOOOO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLE!!!!!!!! I definitely went off topic but yeha

And oh god i feel like drawing my ocs now. What have you done to me

[blxxditout]

Day 10: What does your muse look like? Did anything inspire his looks? From your secret Santa

He has a description in his segment of my google doc, and I've drawn him a handful of times, but I've yet to make a full ref of him. I'll go ahead and lovingly describe him again since his appearance is something that I really like about him. Putting that under the cut though. For inspiration, I'd say that Robert Pattinson was definitely kept in mind. I really liked his face, but I couldn't see it for Sid, nor could I imagine him portraying my character. Face claims are hard, especially when your character looks a specific way that doesn't align with your mental image of the muse. In spite of that and what I've been told though, Simon Henriksson from Cry of Fear wasn't taken into account despite the comparisons that could be made about their characters.

I did want him to vaguely look like a hunter from Left 4 Dead though, since originally he was going to be a zombie.

He is a tall, pale man, as sickly as a corpse but life still persists through him somehow. It couldn't be fathomed with how dull his skin looked besides the norm of a healthy glow. His eyes are sunken are the results of sleepless nights, and days spent rotting away in the dark of his room, though there is something that is unsettling about them. They're nearly unnatural with how light they are, nearing a silver while retaining a hint of blue. They say he has his father's eyes, but they were never this light, a testament of the horrific act that was done unto him by his partner. Even so, it is rare of him to express such through the windows of his soul, as it is often that they are curtained by the black mop atop his head.

His hair is a mess, perpetual bedhead that never bothered to be tamed. It curls slightly, with bangs framing his face to try to draw attention away from his striking eyes. Sid doesn't bother with his hair much, unless it's a hot day or irritating him. What he tends to wear doesn't change often, unless the Entity or someone else has bestowed upon him a new choice of attire, anything would be better than the bland clothes he likes to default to. That being said, his usual choice happens to be: a grey hoodie, black t-shirt, khaki cargo pants, and worn black sneakers. He prefers to dress for comfort rather than to dress formally, there isn't anyone he's trying to impress anymore, or would care to... save for a small few.

General appearances aside, he has a few finer details to his character that is rarely ever brought up. He has a prominent scar over his heart, taking the shape of a half of a heart(ironically) from when he was stabbed by Selene. The hair on his chest has stopped growing around there. His nails are also permanently black since he's reanimated. Even while being brought to the Fog, he still died, and I thought that it'd be neat of him to have. While his abilities are essentially non-existent save for his premonitions of the supernatural(dark sense/spine chill, etc.), he still has Scythe buried in his heart. If a killer stabs him there, they have a chance of hitting it, but they won't ever be able to physically retrieve it(he's not a kinder egg.)

Everything that I've explained here doesn't differentiate much from what I already have listed in his sheet, which is already pretty descriptive enough. Plus I have some other body headcanons: like how his teeth were made sharper upon being revived, or how he has stretchmarks on his stomach and arms. The little changes about his person from when he was alive compared to when he died/got brought back were very subtle, but they're a joy to describe. Regardless, when designing him, I didn't want to do anything grand with his character because he's not meant to be stylized. His whole point is that he was a normal guy, and then his whole life got flipped on his head. As he develops, he's bound to change and have more added onto his character, but as I see him now he is a perfect representation of what I wanted him to be.

[zylphiacrowley]

-slams an ask in the box!- Lets revive the ask box!

Tell me about your the process of OC creation (or the most vocal one right now!) which part seems the easiest when weaving a character together? Which part seems...the hardest? How do you pick the names! 👀

Oh hi thanks for the ask!

My OC creation process differs depending on what they were originally created for. Some games I use the character creator and make them look neat then a personality and backstory develop around that. On the other hand, I have some very old OCs that I developed completely independent of any existing property in a much darker time in my life as comfort characters and ways to explore different aspects of myself or to act as a positive voice for me to imagine from the safety of my own imagination (does that make sense how I explained it? Maybe not...).

The easiest part is usually their appearance since it's usually the first thing I focus on, and it definitely helps to solidify them in my mind and to act as a base for me to build their personalities and backstories upon. I used to do this thing where questions or situations in my own life would come up and I'd imagine how my OCs would react to it to help develop them as characters (like, for instance, if I was sick one day I'd imagine how my OC would react to being sick or caring for a sick loved one).

The hardest part is.... also coming up with backstories? Lol maybe more like giving myself permission to change their backstory after already developing parts of it. My old comfort OCs changed drastically as I learned more about the world, myself, and others and I was very hesitant to change them since I'd had them for so long at that point but I finally told myself that it's okay to change who they so I did. I still kept certain aspects of them the same, but other things that used to be portent to them changed significantly.

As for names, sometimes I hear a name that I really like and I use it (I used to work with a girl named Adrianne which is how my OC Adrian got his name). Sometimes I have to do more research (especially if they're not from my country or culture or if they're from an entirely fictional place. Like my Final Fantasy XIV WoL has a lore compliant male Seeker of the Sun name). Otherwise, if I can't find one and I don't already have one, I go to a baby names website and scroll through it for ages to find something I like and that fits them lol

Again. Thank you for the ask, and I hope what I said makes sense. :3